#vittupää

[palestaticexchange]

JUST THE TWO OF US

"Ey, C!" You shout over the fence where your new friend looks at you. She's all suspicious and shit. "Got you something!" Like a big man, you toss the chocolate bar and watch as she snatches it from the air. Primo-style.

"The fuck is this?!" C sneers, eyes glinting with danger. "You got me chocolate? The fuck are you?! Some kind of fägäri?!"

Your hackles raise. A shiver roots you into frozen mud at the unexpected aggression. Yeah, she's aggressive. Maybe the Cuno *should* have expected this. But you were being *nice* for fucks sake! You bought the scrawny little bitch some fucking chocolate! Money's *hard graft* in Martinaise! You're a MANS man: you know this shit... So you stole the 70 Centims from your deadbeat dad while he was comatose, then popped down the Frittte for some choccy.

In the eyes of this lass that's a weak manoeuvre. Time to embellish this shit: Cuno-style. "I fuckin' *stole* that from Frittte for you. Don't be ungrateful to the Cunn!"

Cunoesse cocks her head, bored. "*You* stole from Frittte?" Shit. She doesn't fucking believe you. A mocking whine creeps into her tone. "Cuno snuck past the fatass *kyrpänaama* stood outside? Fuckin' gun and all?"

Sweat prickles against the flannel of your top. No. Not sweat. It's just the lightning. This aint *shit* for the Cuno. You puff out your chest. "Maybe I did!"

C rolls her eyes then hops back. She's gone from sight but you hear her behind the fence all the same. "Fuck off did you."

"I fucking did!"

"No, Cuno," Bored again. "You didn't." The crinkle of tinfoil being unwrapped.

You growl and run at the fence. A tuffet of frozen crab grass bares your weight *just* long enough for you to vault up and grab the top. The wood wobbles and bangs in protest as you haul yourself onto your forearms, hanging half over it.

Beneath, the girl sits in a squat ripping strips of tinfoil from rich, brown chocolate.

"The fuck's your problem?! Try to do something nice for you and you fucking spit in Cuno's face?!" You puff out your chest again, but all that happens is a pressure against your ribs where you dangle. "Fuck you, C."

Her head snaps upwards, pippo catching against the wood. As her hat's dragged off it reveals lank hair. Her eyes are refined fire. "I didn't fucking *ASK YOU* to do that, did I?!" Her lip quivers when she snarls. She is a frenzied dog. "You fucking stupid vittupää bitch! Get out of my *fucking* face!"

You reel backwards, teetering on the fence edge as she lashes upwards. You thought she'd strike you but she throws something: a crushed ball of tinfoil which bounces, painlessly, off your face. Fucking pathetic is what it is.

"What is it you want Cuno? Want a big fucking scene?! Want me to *thank* you?!" She scrambles up and away from the fence, shoving half the bar in her mouth as she turns to face you. "Am I shupposed to-" She swallows roughly, brown-stained spit dribbling down her chin. "-Fucking *suck you off* or some shit?! Roll onto my back and let your limp little-" She coughs, pounding a fist into her chest.

"I didn't say that shit either!" You try to yell but it comes out more a wheeze. *Your* chest is hurting from the fence. "What is it then?! Is the Cuno a fag or does he wanna fuck you? Can't be both, C!"

Her face screws up as if she doesn't understand the question. She licks at her chops. "*How* the *fuck* am I supposed to know?!" She drags the back of her hand across her chin, regarding the sweet sludge before she licks that up too. "My bets on *yes* but that's *your* shit to sort out." Her eyes flick from her sticky hand to you. "And it's boring."

Whatever happened, whatever *barrier* you crossed; her rage is ebbing. You still don't fucking get it. She's just another silly bitch you guess.

"You better not be thinking nasty shit about me Cuno," C growls out a warning. "You've got that stupid fucking face on you get when you're thinking *stupid* fucking shit."

You startle, but play it off as teetering backwards. No sooner is that pressure lifted from your ribs than your FALNs make contact with the crushed crab grass. "Whatever, C." You shove your hands in the pockets of your windbreaker and turn. You don't need her. You'll be *forlorn* and shit. *Moody* like one of those cop-turned-killer types. You'll find a rooftop to stand on and stare into the distance all dramatic and shit.

Behind you the fence bangs as she scales it. There's a wooden wobble, and then a *weird* sound. Crunch. Oh shit. Is she-

As you turn you see her on *your* side of the fence. "The fuck you doing in Cuno's Kingdom?!" Your vitriol comes from a place of fear. She's never done this before.

You yelp as you scramble away, hands flying out your jacket as you make a dash for your hideout. You can hear her chasing but it doesn't matter. You've got your FALNs on. Primo-shit. High concept sportswear. Make a man a god. Three sizes too big. Make a man slip on his *fucking ass* as the whole *faggy* shoe slips around your fucking-

No. NO it's NOT fear! Cuno's not scared of anything, you're gonna-

Oh *SHIT* she's fucking *RUNNING* at you.

It's fear.

You're stunned as your back meets black ice. The white sky glaring bright above you and making your eyeballs throb. Your ankle hurts.

Quick pads slow into a leisurely walk, then she's stood above you. She smacks her lips licking chocolate from the inside of her cheeks. Cunoesse looks *beyond* bored.

Your ankle hurts.

"Real fuckin' cool Cuno. You pull these moves on the security fag outside Frittte?" She has chocolate all over the hand holding the bar. "He probably fucking *gave* this to you. Probably felt sorry for you." She takes a smaller bite this time.

"I told you, I-" You bite your bottom lip. She's being a *real* fucking piece of work today. "I fucking mugged him, yeah?! I'm a hard man! Hard man, Cuno! That's what they call me!"

The girl grins. Unlike normal it doesn't feel like she's on *your* side.

"Who calls you that? 'Cos it *aint* fucking me!" She cackles, spit-slicked globs of chocolate visible on the roof of her mouth from where you lie on the floor. "*Hard man Cuno* robbed the Frittte!" She mocks. "Took the fatass's gun and *SHOT* him with it!"

You snarl. You'll show her. You hop to your feet and- *FUCK* your ankle hurts! You yelp as you fall on your ass.

This only makes C laugh harder. "Holy shit! Are you for real!?" She walks around the length of you, eyes raking your prone form in glee. "How the *FUCK* you gonna claim shit like that if you can't even-"

You won't. You won't. No fucking way. You don't *DO* that pussy shit. It doesn't fucking help anyway. You fucking *WON'T*.

"Are you gonna cry?"

You won't.

A crow caws from the dead tree at the end of the yard. In the distance you hear the MCs making their way to and from the harbour. "Are you gonna cry, Cuno?" Oddly, her bark has lost its bite.

You stare at your feet still resting on the frozen slush. Your right shoe is still on but you've always lead with your left. The trainer's twisted sideways, your toes still clothed but heel exposed and flush to the ice. 'A strong left foot! My boy will be an athlete for sure!' And that's *worse* than being hit. A sudden burst of memory from the time *before* he got shit. Before *she* had to go and die like a stupid whore.

You start to cry.

"For fucks saaaake," C groans, arms dropping to her sides and cursing the clouds.

You don't give a shit. You'll fucking cry all day if you want: this is Cuno's fucking kingdom. Cuno can cry in Cuno's kingdom if he needs to. You cross your arms tightly over your chest and hiccup, still scowling at your feet.

C squints at you. For a minute she just watches you cry, then she drops into a squat next to you. "Eat this, runkkari." She holds the slobbery end of her chocolate bar against your face.

You scowl at her instead of your shoes.

"Huh? What? You want a fucking silver platter or some shit?!" She turns to spit quickly behind her. "Sorry, faggot, fresh out," she says sarcastically. When you neither move nor respond she wiggles the chocolate bar in your face. "My *patience* is running thin, Cuno..." She doesn't threaten you, but the threat *is* there. It's always fucking there.

Good. Maybe this time she'll actually fucking-

"Ugh!" She groans suddenly, dropping the hand that was in your face. "Fine. FINE! I'm fucking *SORRY* okay?!"

What?

"I'm *sorry* I didn't thank you for the chocolate, and I'm *sorry* for saying you wanna fuck me and shit when you're *probably* a faggot, and I'm *sorry* you fell on your skinny fucking faggot ass." She sniffs, then wraps the remainder of the sticky chocolate in ripped, crumpled foil. "So take the fucking sweets, paskapää." When it's wrapped, she leans in and tucks the sticky mess in the pocket of your windbreaker.

What?

"What?" She grumbles.

You blink. The chocolate's burning a hole in your pocket.

"You better not want anything else from me." She narrows her eyes. "I'll go. I'll leave forever."

She won't. You know this now: it's you and her. Cuno and Cunoesse. You're the same; that's why you named her. You smile.

"The fuck you smiling for, freak?! You bust your fucking brain when you fall?!" She cocks her head back and forth, assessing her Cuno for damages.

"Thanks, C." You say, pulling the chocolate from your pocket.

"Thanks..." She spits. "Don't *thank* me, you braindead fuck."

When you pop a cube in your mouth it's as sweet as it is slimy from her spit. Your smile widens.

"I fucking mean it, Cuno! I'm only keeping you around for alibi's sakes, you hear?!"

The crow caws again. There's a bang in the distance as something's unloaded from a crane. The backdoor to the Whirling opens with a creak and the blonde bitch gets one look at the two of you before she turns on her heel and takes the binbag *back* inside.

"I said do you *hear* me Cuno!"

You place your free hand on C's shoulder-

"Hey!"

And use her to pull yourself up, pushing your trainer back on.

"Touch me again and I'll cut your *FUCKING* dick off."

But she won't is the thing. She's fucking crazy, a killer for sure, but she's not *ever* gonna do that shit to *you*. You're *HER* Cuno, and as much as she's a crazy bitch: she's *yours* too.

Cuno and C.

Cunoesse and the big man.

This world is shit, but together the pair of you are gonna fucking make it.

[enkeliseepra]

En nähnyt edellisenä yönä pahoja unia.

Nousin aamulla, nautin lääkkeeni aamupalan kanssa, ja menin suihkuun.

Lähdin käymään ääniä kuulevien ryhmässä, menin sinne bussilla. Kyseisessä bussissa joku vittupää teini vapetti, menin kertomaan bussikuskille mutta eihän se ymmärtänyt sinä paska soomi kieli 🙄

Ryhmä oli ihan OK, mutta nyt tuntuu siltä etten antanut muille puheenvuoroa riittävästi.

Jäin juttelemaan Eijan kanssa.

Sen jälkeen menin keskustaan käymään kaupoissa, sen jälkeen palasin kotiini.

Lähdin käymään neulepiirissä, aloitin uuden neuleen.

Ryhmän jälkeen menin kauppakeskukseen katselemaan tuotteita, sitten palasin bussilla kotiini.

Peseydyin, nautin iltapalaa, otin iltalääkkeeni, ja menin nukkumaan.

Huomenna menen neulekävelylle, sitten museoon, sitten Kohtaukseen, sitten puutarhaan ja toiseen museoon.

Keskiviikkona menen yhteislaulutilaisuuteen ja neulepiiriin. Illalla menen koiratapahtumaan.

Torstaina menen suihkuun. Käyn varmaan jossain museossa.

Perjantaina menen taidenäyttelyyn.

Lauantaina menen kavereiden järjestämille syyskekkereille.

Sunnuntaina menen Miretelle katsomaan Masked Singer. Sen jälkeen menen huvipuistoon.

[pupunu]

I don't still like how few examples there are for vittu when pandejo has some. Like said, vittu works pretty much as fuck, but it also has quite a lot of derivatives made from it!

vittu = a powerful and experienced cunt, used like fuck, eg. vitun pelle = you fucking clown

vittupää = dickhead, asshole (literally cunt head)

vituttaa (verb) = to be pissed, to piss someone off

vittuilla (verb) = to annoy someone, to osffend someone, to fuck with someone (not the sexual meaning)

vittumainen (adjective) = annoying, shitty

The word is also probably a 1000 years old loan word from Swedish (nowadays fitta in Swedish) and can be found from most Finnic languages. So it is old and a shared with both the scandinavian languages (with a 1000 year old link) as well as the finnic language family!

Best Curse Word Tournament!

pendejo (Spanish) /penˈdexo/ 1. a pubic hair 2. (Latin America) a dumbass, scumbag, or asshole, used as an insult and/or affectionate term

vittu (Finnish) /ˈʋitːu/ a cunt; used fluidly like “fuck”

[volumniafox]

Started disco elysium today and got literal whiplash when the cuno kids called me fägäri and vittupää

[larehhh]

Aina vähän väliä jostain nousee uusi sankari, joka lataa youtubeen Muumilaakson tarinoita alkuperäisillä äänillä. 

[huanida-blog]

Uimahallin vittumainen eukko...

Oltiin äitini ja tätini kanssa uimahallissa, siinä sitten sukeltelin ja hypin korokkeelta veteen ihan omaksi ilokseni. (Mainittakoon vielä, että pidin erittäin suuren etäisyyden muihin altaassa olijoihin). Noh olin nousemassa altaasta niin viereeni pulikoi vittumaista hymyä ylläpitävä mummeli joka sanoi: "Täällä ei saa sukeltaa tai hyppiä, joku voi potkasta vaikka päähän vahingossa, tää on vaan vesijuoksijoille. Johon minä vastasin: "Missä lukee ettei sais ja täälä missään ei kyllä lue vain vesijuoksijoille." Eukko ei jäänyt kuuntelemaan joten en ottanut hänen länkytystään kuuleviin korviini ja jatkoin hyppimistä. Äitini ui täydessä meikissä olleen vittupääeukon luo ja totesi, että naama pitäisi pestä ennen altaaseen menoa. Eukko totesi, että nämä meikit olivat kuulemma tatuoidut. Äitini totesi, että huulet ovat myös varmaan tatuoidut (kilometrin päähän näki etteivät ne olleet). Lopuksi äitini tokaisi kovaan ääneen "Pitäisi varmaan hankkia yksityinen allas, jos muut ihmiset on niin suuri ongelma".Juuri ennen lähtöä uimavalvoja tuli luokseni kysymään mikä tilanne meillä oli aijemmin ollut ja kertoessani tilanteesta uimavalvoja kertoi minun olleen oikeassa sääntöjen suhteen ja meni kertomaan eukolle uimahallissa pätevistä säännöistä. Kyseessä olikin ns. Altaanomistajaeukko joka oli aijemmin valittanut muun muassa äidilleni selkäuinnista.

[taidotonheiluja]

Haista vittu - Fuck off (literally: smell a cunt)

Haista paska - Piss off (literally: smell a shit)

Senkin kyrpä / mulkku - You dick

Painu vittuun senkin spede! - Go to hell (cunt) you clown. (Spede is a name of famous comedian but is also a word for an annoying “funny” person in slang) You can also say “Painu helvettiin” as in literal “go to hell”

Vitun runkkari - Fucking wanker

Kyrpänaama / Vittunaama / Vittupää - fucker (literally dick face / cunt face / cunt head)

Vittu can be used pretty much in any context and in place of pretty much any word. If you feel like vittu (vitutus) you feel annoyed. If something goes to vittu (vituiksi) it goes awry. 

OKAY , so Im learning finish and I want to know swear words, insults, rediculusly rude things, anything (not offensive slurs) that I can use to insult someone (specifically @noxpewpew, we have a thing going on where we will insult each other through text messages, all jokes ofc! And we have been doing it in German and English, but I wanna take it to the next level). So Finnish people… can you help me out?

Thank u in advance. :]

[reneeissancefool]

🗑

[liskokasa]

I restarted disco elysium with the voice over because that works for being shit at focusing but actually hearing spoken english with shit like "vittupää" and "banaanipoika" is making me lose it

[tuhatvuotinenharharetki]

@hiddenlakes tagged me to put my music on shuffle and post the first ten songs :3 thank you!

1. The Hearing - Jello 

2. HÄN - Ulottuvuusportti 

3. Hulda Huima - Vittupää

4. Paperi T - Venaattrr 

5. Hopeajärvi - Tyhmä Nimi

6. Teksti-tv 666 - Turbo Mondeo 

7. Jukka ja Jytämimmit - Pohjanmaa

8. Pelle Miljoona & N.U.S. - Olen Työtön

9. Puheliseksi - Sydänkohtaus tanssilattialla 

10. Ruusut - 4321

i’ll tag @hetvx @millainenmilla @bosmina @hiekkaenkeli @saatanakokelas @jumalanpeili @juoksukaljat 

[b8horpet]

There aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap.

reasons why swearing in English always felt so limiting to me

[kodittomatsammakot]

-

[incorrect-tuntematon-quotes]

Sarastie: Voi hemmetti...

Karjula: Minkä perlkeleen takia sinä saatanan paskiainen kirloilet saatana minun kattoni alla, jumalauta, perlkeleen vittupää, haista vittu ja syö paskaani.

[roskapussirotta]

actually i have to add some propaganda here because vittu is basically the single most versatile curse word in the entire finnish language. the greatest thing about vittu is that it can be combined with so many different things to create new fun curses like for example vittusaatana (cunt satan), vittupää (cunthead, used like asshole or asshat) or jeesuksen vittu (jesus's cunt). there's also many derivatives from it like vitutus (the feeling of being pissed off or annoyed) and vittuilla (to annoy or to be an asshole to someone). and if you're not feeling particularly creative you can just stack vittu like legos and say vitun vitun vitun vitun vittu.

Best Curse Word Tournament!

vittu (Finnish) /ˈʋitːu/ cunt, but used fluidly like “fuck”

dodipoll (English) /ˈdɒdɪpoʊl/ a fool

[lumivalkoruusunpuna]

Song tag thingy

I was tagged by the super lovely @toffeevanukas ! Thank you!

Rules: put your songs on shuffle and list the first 10 that play! then tag 20 more people to do this.

1. Itket ja kuuntelet by Ultra Bra 2. Transcendental youth by the mountain goats 3. The forest awakes by David Byrne 4. Et tahtoisi jäädä by Nuoret marttyyrit 5. Tehtaantyttö by M 6. Vittupää by Hulda Huima 7. Kaikki on niin vitun ihan jees by Ursus Factory 8. Stop this train by John Mayer 9. My doorbell by The white stripes 10. Maaliskuu by Antti Pouta

Hmm I’ll change my habits and actually tag people: @unicorncookiedough @samisafangirl and @kissanniska and everyone else who’d like to do this!

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

Bad Finnish words for Kelley

Okey, so here goes ;)  Guess I’ll start at the easy ones… 

“Saatana” = exactly what it sounds like, ‘satan’ “Perkele” = wikipedia says it’s probably originally a name of the god Ukko from Finnish mythology but nowadays I’d associate it more to 'Beelsebub’ or 'the devil’ “Jumalauta” = comes from words “Jumala” ('God) + “auta” ('help’), used quite similarly as 'goddammit’ “Paska” = 'shit'  “Paskapää” = 'shithead'  “Paskiainen” = probably closest to 'piece of shit’ but is used very similarly as 'bastard’ (which is literally “äpärä”) “Kusipää” = 'pisshead'  “Pillu” / “Tussu” = 'pussy’ (there’s also the literal cat reference “Mirri” but it’s not a curse word really, though neither are the “pillu” or “tussu” either… they are just naughty words in general) “Vittu” = literally 'cunt’ used instead of 'fuck’ so  it’s considered a bit more bad ;)  “Vittupää” = 'cunthead'  “Haista vittu” = literally 'smell a cunt’ used like 'fuck you'  “Suksi vittuun” = errrrm, something like 'go ski yourself into a cunt’ x’D but used as 'fuck off'  “Mulkku” & “Kyrpä” & “Kulli” = can’t be translated literally, but they mean 'cock’ (but a cock as in a rooster is actually “kukko”) or 'prick’ these can also be used when referred to the actual bodypart, when referred to a person we can also use… … “Mulkvisti” = which is commonly used like 'motherfucker'  “Jorma” = the Finnish equivalent for 'Dick’ (an actual Finnish male name)  “Molopää” = 'dickhead’ (“molo” is derived from “mulkku”) “Pallipää” & “Pallinaama” = literally 'ballhead’ & 'ballface’ “Pallit” = 'balls’ “Runkata” = 'to wank’ “Runkkari” / “Runkku” = 'wanker'  “Perse” = 'ass’ used as an exclamation  “Pers(e)reikä” = 'asshole’

Ummm, that’s it…? :D  I suppose I can always add more as comments if needed and I feel like I forgot something important.  Also I just had a revelation that us Finns must have some weird antipathy for our heads x)

Hope these are useful.  Ask if you want some specific words translated :D

~BZ

///

Very useful! Thank you so much!