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Visit Yara

Yara’s ONLY Number One Unlicensed Travel Agency

Your source of information for all things Yara!

#VisitYaraToday

Content has not yet been approved by Yara’s official Office of Tourism.  This content has not been approved by the Ministry of Culture and Maria Marquessa can kiss it.

Getting There

Yara has one International Airport, Aeropuerto Internacional de Noventarmas, located in the Valle de Oro region. There are 2 weekly direct flights to and from Miami, Florida. Flights from Yara to Miami are on Mondays at 7:00 and Fridays at 22:00. Check your local listings.

Note: At this time, due to the current situation, there are no official, legal, chartered ships to and from Yara.

Where to Stay

Yara offers accommodations to fit every budget, from luxurious 4-Star hotel to a damp cot in the jungle.

Hotel Paraíso If safety and luxury is your thing, Hotel Paraíso will be your accommodation of choice. It is located in the heart of the capital city of Esperanza. Make sure to read the "Things to Know Before Visiting Yara" section for important additional information.

Hotel Paraíso, Esperanza, Yara

Beach Resorts Being a Caribbean island, Yara is naturally surrounded by beautiful sandy beaches and offers many beach side resorts, particularly on the East coast in Barrial.

What To Do in Yara

Outdoor Playground Made in Heaven

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Yara is a true playground made in heaven for outdoor enthusiasts! Its varied landscapes offer a plethora of outdoor activities. You can go horseback riding, hike endless jungle or cliffside trails; if you prefer speed, you can rent ATV's and blaze through the jungle or a jetski and explore inland rivers, lakes, and the ocean. You can go hunting, fishing or experience the rush of skydiving and base jumping!

Culture and Architecture If jumping off a cliff is not really your thing, you may wish to explore Yara's rich history and architecture. It offers many national parks, museums, Churches, there's even a Dino Park! Stay tuned for future content and information.

A picturesque street in Esperanza, Yara

Catedral de la Divinidad, Esperanza, Yara

Things to Know Before Visiting Yara

Please read this section carefully for potentially life saving things to know before visiting Yara.

Nighttime Curfews Due to the current situation, some but not all towns impose a nightly curfew and residents and travelers alike are required to remain indoors between the hours of 8PM to 6AM. In addition to the capital city of Esperanza, towns like Segunda and Concepción are also under curfew. To find out if your city is currently under curfew, pay attention to announcements over the national PA system which will provide information in both Spanish and English.

Carry your Passport and Identification on your person at ALL TIME

Soldados of the Fuerzas Nacionales de Defensa or FND, have the right to demand that anyone produce valid identification at any given time. Just show your papers. It is that simple.

Obey the FND at all times!

Yara is a... ehh.. highly regulated country and is under martial law at this time. As a traveler, it is your duty to obey the rules and regulations at all times to avoid incarceration or-- To avoid incarceration.

Additional rules There are many rules that may appear strange to foreigners but must be respected to ensure that you remain safe during your stay in Yara. No public gathering In light of recent events which resulted in violent protests, public gatherings of 6 people or more are prohibited and will be met with swift action by the FND. If you are traveling in a group, you can obtain a special permit from the Ministry of Culture. Restricted Areas and Additional temporary entry restrictions Yara is big on safety and signs. As you travel in Yara, you will encounter many signs prohibiting or restricting access to military sites and government owned and operated facilities. DO NOT TRESPASS IN YARA. Ever. Additionally, you may see areas that are not normally restricted add temporary restrictions at certain times, such as events organized by the Ministry of Culture, public executions, or public appearances by El Presidente de Yara, Antón Castillo. Restrictions on Tobacco Smoking of tobacco is not illegal in Yara, however, it is not permitted to possess more than 25 grams, the equivalent of two packs of cigarettes, at any one time.

For more information on activities, places, events, and all things Yara, come back and visit this site often!

A lot more content coming soon!

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Editor’s Note:

You may be aware that there is another airport in Yara, Aeropuerto Gabriel Castillo De La Joya near Concepción on the very tip of Yara’s east coast, however, it was not mentioned in this section as it is no longer being used for international flights. The airport has been converted to a military airport. A photographer who will remain anonymous for safety reasons may or may not have momentarily trespassed to bring you these few photographs.

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Stunning. Glad to see people enjoying Yara. 😊

Scenery in Far Cry 6 01/??

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Hola mi gente. Life got you down? Don't forget to take a break. Even if it's a 37 second break. It's self care!

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Yara's graffiti artist: Zenia Zayas

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Is anyone travelling this summer?

Where are you guys going?

✈️ 🌴🦩🪷

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Very powerful captures. #VisitYaraToday

FAR CRY 6 — Caribbean’s Heart (12/?)

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FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions/ preguntas frecuentes- Page 2

We received so many more questions than we could properly respond to in one sitting, so here we go for part 2. From immigration to some very intimate questions, we respond to them all!

Q: Is it true that everyone in Yara can fix cars?

A: Surely not everyone, but general car repair is a crucial skill to learn early in life when available cars are old and likely to break down. If you do need your car repaired though, please go to a mechanic shop. There are plenty around Yara.

Q: Where can i buy cigars?

A: You can buy cigars at local shops or from stands in public squares and markets. However, it is worth mentioning that many Yarans smoke Mexican tobacco as most of our tobacco fields have been taken over by the Viviro™ industry and may or may not contain a compound used in its production that may or may not cause your eyes to bleed and your brain to fry. Something to keep in mind if you are purchasing a souvenir for uncle Bob.

Q: I want to move to Yara. Any advice?

A: Yes. Stay home. No offense but most foreigners could not handle Yara full time. It’s all fun and games for a few weeks, but you would need to deal with hurricanes, shortages of every kind, the bureaucracy is a nightmare.. we’re not even talking about the housing crisis, the constant economic collapse. Honestly, a lot of Yarans are trying to get the f out of here you wanna come in?! You could always get a non paying job at an Outcast camp if this is truly your dream. They’ll take anybody. You don’t even need to speak Spanish. Otherwise, stay home. You are happy there.

Q: Can you go surfing?

A: Of course! Although jetskis are much more popular and readily available to rent and use.

Q: I want to do a Cruise, but I hate going on boats. What do you recommend?

A: Helicopter tours! - Check it out!

Q: Are there any hospitals? How is the healthcare?

A: We have hospitals and field clinics. Travelers may access medical services as long as they do not have a criminal record. People with a criminal history or history of civil disobedience are not entitled to receive care. (Doctors and nurses can actually lose their licenses and be thrown in jail if they assist you. It’s harsh, we know, but we don’t make those rules.)

If you do suffer an injury or fall ill while traveling in Yara and you believe you do not qualify for healthcare, you can find an unlicensed field clinic that may be able to provide care for a price. But keep in mind, those installations are not always the cleanest. They do what they can.

Editor's Note: Here is one such unlicensed "field clinic" doing what they can.

Q: What do I do if someone tries to sell me crap on the beach?

A: Whatever you do, just be polite. Those people are simply trying to make a living. ‘No, gracias,’ goes a long way. Or perhaps do consider parting with a couple of pesos. Consider it your gift to our beautiful country.

Q: Why is it raining? Isn’t yara supposed to be a tropical country?

A: Hello, hurricane season. We are a Caribbean island and do have a rainy season which spans from about May through November. If you were here in September or October, chances are you got rain.

Q: do they eat dogs in Yara?

A: NO! We do have feral dogs but dogs are not a source of protein for most Yarans in normal times. There are backwoods cantinas that prepare and serve coyote meat but this is not a dish we could recommend.

Q: Are there any vegan restaurants? What do you recommend?

A: Veganism isn’t quite as widespread or popular in our country yet. Meat and fish remain the staple diet in Yara out of necessity. We are unable to recommend any vegan restaurant at this time. Lo siento.

Q: Is Yara LBGTQ friendly?

A: This is always quite the touchy subject because I am obliged to say that “Love is Love” is not quite a thing yet in our country, not for lack of effort to change things on the part of many of our citizens. Same sex marriage is not recognized nor legal in Yara at least at the time this article was written.

That being said, there are some drag shows that the government sponsors in an effort to appear more progressive and open-minded. There is at least one known underground gay bar but we are unable to share its location in order to protect the privacy and safety of the Yarans that may frequent said establishment. All and all, LGBTQ+ travelers, with a bit of research and a lot - a lot!! - of discretion may yet find that Yara’s queer community is alive and well, if away from the public eye.

Q: I don’t speak Spanish. Can I still travel to Yara?

A: Most Yarans are bilingual as English as a second language is taught throughout elementary school. There are some bilingual signs and all public announcements are played in Spanish and in English. As for other languages, we know of a small Russian-Yaran community and perhaps a minority of multilingual people but we cannot make assumptions that any language other than Spanish and English will be widely understood.

Q: Can I speak to the manager?

A: If by manager you mean El Presidente de Yara, this is not something we would recommend attempting. Grievances could be addressed with the PDP (Protectorado de Defensa de la Patria) but this is not something we would recommend doing either.

Q: What’s the best sniper rifle?

A: We are in no way gun experts and do not condone violence of any kind.

Q: Why are all the clocks set to 6:13?

A: That’s an urban legend.

Editor's Note: ...

Q: Why are yaran chicks so hot?

A: Because it’s hot in Yara.

Q: Are the men circumcised?

A: Ehhh I haven't had the chance to interview every man in Yara to find out but from my brief compulsory military service where privacy is practically nonexistent, I wanna say, mostly no?

Editor's Note: Do we edit that one out? 

Q: Is it true that cockfighting is legal? Why are you so backwards and barbaric?

A: Whether cockfighting is officially legal is debatable. The authorities are surely aware of tournaments occurring, they just don’t care. It is in no way everyone’s cup of tea and it isn’t a national sport or anything, more of an underground thing. There are known fighting rooster breeders such as Álvarez Farm and Esmeralda Eco Farm but don’t go to that one. Just.. don’t.

Q: Can I get a refund if it rains?

A:¿Puedo obtener un reembolso si las personas me hacen preguntas tontas? The rainy season in the Caribbean runs from late May through November. Perhaps you would enjoy a nice vacation on the surface of the Sun instead? Book your tickets here.

Q: Are there any coconut trees in Yara? I once went to Fiji and was too afraid to leave my room because I have a phobia of a coconut falling from a tree and killing me.

A: Your call.

Go to: FAQ Page 3

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Storytime with Philly Barzaga: How Chorizo Got His Wheels.

Ever wondered how beloved pup Chorizo got his wheels? Philly tells it all in this heartwarming phone interview with Radio Libertad host, DJ Bicho.

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Yaran ASMR: Yarabi Morning

Grab your cup of coffee, take a deep breath and take in the morning sounds of this Yaran coastal village. You can almost feel that sea breeze and the morning sun on your face.

Stay chill, mi gente. We love you.

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Fauna y Flora de Yara: Crocodiles

If you explore Yara long enough, chances are you will encounter crocodiles along the coastline as well as inland around rivers and lakes. In this article, you will learn about Yara’s crocodiles, their importance in our society as well as some safety tips if you ever find yourself face to face with these majestic but dangerous creatures.

Species: Yaran vs Yanqui

Yaran Crocodile

Indigenous to our country, they are smaller than their American counterparts with a longer snout and generally live and hunt in small groups (basks? A float? I’m sure there is a fancy word for a bunch of crocs other than run!)

American Crocodile

They are HUGE. More than triple the size of our indigenous crocs. They emit a deep rumbling sound when disturbed. American crocodiles were introduced into Yara by the Castillo administration for reasons unknown.

American Crocodile vs fighting roosters.

Size comparison Yaran vs Yanqui crocs.

Importance in Yaran Society

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There is so much to say about crocodiles. We do try and keep these articles as concise as possible, but there is a lot to cover.

Crocodile Farms

Our crocodile farms are more intended as tourist attractions rather than actually raising crocodiles. There are several of them across the island as well as theme parks. Too many to show them all but notable attractions include:

Ortega Croc Farm where you can sit and enjoy a meal while watching crocodiles go about their crocodile business. This farm also holds a special mixed breed croc named “Beatriz” on display.

Ortega Croc Farm in Aguas Lindas, Madrugada featuring Beatriz.

Serpentino Park on Cortina River features breathtaking habitats where you can encounter crocodiles in their natural environment. Guided tours may be offered. Check schedules at the visitor centre. Bring mosquito repellent. 

Serpentino Park on Cortina River, Costa del Mar, Madrugada.

Hunting and Food Source  

People hunt them for food as much as they hunt humans for the same reason.

Pop-culture and the Arts

Croco-Taxi: These novelty taxis are obviously aimed at tourists. The idea was borrowed from our Cuban neighbours but we like to pretend we came up with it.

Sculptures: Yarans from the upper class will commission impressive sculptures featuring crocodiles as a display of power and wealth.

Paintings of crocodiles in a rich gusano's bathroom and office space.

"Art Nouveau:" Taxidermy...not sure how well I would sleep with a dead croc hanging over my bed, but to each his or her own.

Habitat and Conservation

Crocodiles are everywhere even if you can’t always see them.

Yaran crocodiles silently gliding under a fishing boat, Cortina River, Costa del Mar.

Despite our government’s every effort to protect crocodile habitats, there has been occurrences of toxic spills as a consequence of Viviro™ production with disastrous impact on wildlife, including crocodiles.

A mutated crocodile in Cienaga Nublada National Park - Cocodrilo Swamps, Balaceras, Valle de Oro.

Guerrilla Warfare

Crocodiles have been utilized in guerrilla warfare - from tossing chunks of meat into military bases to attract wild crocodiles to actually training them as attacking combatants.

Safety Around Crocodiles

We don’t really need to tell you that crocodiles are dangerous animals but let’s stress the fact anyway. - We are working on a Crocodile Safety Instructional Video which will be made available in the near future. Stay tuned. 

In the meantime, if you do find yourself in the murderous clutches of a crocodile, here are a few tips to increase your chances of survival:

You will want to press into the roof of the crocodile's mouth to release/loosen its grip..

Remove your body part from the mouth as fast as possible and clock the thing in the eye..

Then kick as hard as you can and run away.

As you see, crocodiles are truly a part of the very fabric of Yara and, like them or hate them, they are unlikely to go anywhere anytime soon. Yara is their island and we just live on it.

Editor's Note: Loco por los Cocodrilos

Some crazy cabrón held a funeral for his pet croc.

Some even crazier cabrón had a relationship with his pet croc and he  … well .. you don’t wanna know. She ate him in the end and she lived happily ever after. Or not. She was shot. What’s wrong with people?

To learn more about activities, places, events, and all things Yara, follow us here and on all major social media. You can also check out our Content Index to find more articles of interest. Stay safe, mi gente.

If you've made it this far, drop us a like!

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Virtual Photographers: we have a mission for you.

Are you into Virtual Photography?

Are you going to the town of Segunda soon? You wanna help VisitYaraToday? Submit your best VP of Segunda landmarks and your shots could be featured in next month’s article.

This is unpaid opportunity as the Yaran government gives us zero budget for this. Shots must be of buildings and landmarks in Segunda, Cruz Del Salvador, preferably in good weather. You may submit your shots through DM or by Reblogging this post and adding your shots. You will be credited for the pictures used in the article or any subsequent articles.

Try not to trespass. Stay safe!

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Places to Visit: Segunda: A City Divided.

Beautifully painted sign at the entrance of the town, Segunda, Cruz Del Salvador, Valle de Oro; Picture by @mynonsenseistingling.

Segunda is the largest city in the province of Cruz Del Salvador in the central region of Valle de Oro. It is home to music, culture, and is rich in our history. This article will take you on a virtual tour of this bustling and lively city.

Main Attractions

Architecture, Shops, etc

There is not one main attraction in Segunda. Rather many small streets surrounding a central square, El Toro Square, featuring brightly painted buildings of Spanish colonial architecture. Taking a stroll through the streets of Segunda is considered by many the town’s main attraction, where you will find shops, restaurants, bars, and old classic cars. The people of Segunda are generally quite friendly and approachable.

FND Recruitment Offices building, Segunda.

Another Church with no name, let's call it La Iglesia de Segunda

One of many businesses in Segunda; Picture by @mynonsenseistingling.

Awh the classic cars... What would be life in Yara without them?

A tourist takes a picture in El Toro Square, Segunda.

And of course, who says public town square says some fellow trying to sell you something. However, Segunda being much more touristy, you will find people selling refresco, food, and of course cigars. Buy some!

Where to Stay

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We searched long and hard but were unable to locate any good places to stay within Segunda. The closest venues are located a short drive around El Tiburón Lagoon. There is a peninsula with many options including the prestigious El Tigre Dormido Hotel. Check local listings for pricing and availability. Also we were told the pool might be closed for maintenance.

El Tigre Dormido Hotel, Burros Bay, Cruz Del Salvador, Yara.

Where to Eat

Good eateries are not hard to find around the city. Just walk around and you will come across many cafes and cantinas. We recommend the Taberna El Escritor Jalado among others.

Taberna El Escritor Jalado, Opened during curfew hours; Segunda.

If you are in the mood for a little adventure and want to try something different, you can check out Los Langostinos Cafe located a short drive north of the city. As the name suggests, they serve fresh langoustines. This author has not personally tried it due to an allergy to shellfish but it looks like a decent place with a large terrace overlooking an old plantation that is still operational today. Plenty of parking at the bottom of the hill and you will need to climb a few stairs to get there, but it’s good para tu trasero.

Los Langostinos Cafe, Cruz Del Salvador, Valle de Oro, Yara.

Art and Culture

Mural painted on the side of a building, Segunda, Yara.

Mural by local artist, Segunda; Picture taken by @mynonsenseistingling.

You will toss a pebble in Segunda and find a beautiful mural or piece of art by local artists. (But not the metal statues. We do not talk about the metal statues.)

This authoritarian-looking monument was apparently given to Yara by the, at the time, USSR, in 1974 and represents “the country’s new, modern pursuits born from its past” or something; Picture by @mynonsenseistingling.

Historical stuff square

You will find an inner courtyard with various artifacts and plaques with bits and pieces of our history. You can go read them but in a nutshell, they recount how Segunda used to be surrounded by many sugar plantations in the 1800’s. “Settlers in the Caribbean used rum as currency in the New World.” Slaves were brought into Yara from east Africa by the Spanish settlers to work the sugar cane plantations. A pretty common historical thread among Caribbean nations except ours has a little bit more “controlling” leaders.

Segunda After Hours

The streets are dead after hours, mainly due to the curfew in place. Curfew starts at 9:00pm and is in effect until 6:00am. But it is not hardcore psycho curfew and it is certainly not as violently enforced as in other towns, but there are armed soldados patrolling after dark.

They will ask you where you are going and may apprehend you if you are visibly inebriated or if they’re just in a mood and they don’t like your face.

A citizen breaking curfew is being searched. She may or may not have a bad day;

However, despite the curfew order in Segunda, on some evenings, government approved live music shows are still running at a bar that is mainly frequented by military service men and women. Maybe that's why they aren't tooooo adamant about enforcing it.

Segunda: A City Divided

Segunda is an interesting place because the people are very polarized when it comes to politics. Perhaps because there is an FND Recruiting Office in town, there is a particularly strong pro-Castillo sentiment amongst citizens. Wear a blue scarf in the street, and you might even be cat-called a traitor.

Pro-Castillo rallies are common in El Toro Square, Segunda, Yara.

This is met by an equally vehement anti-Castillo sentiment, visible in the many anti-government graffiti and general disobedience and mischief. However, this should not affect you as a tourist. Avoid appearing overly pro or con and generally try to leave our politics to our people. This is true across the rest of Yara as well.

We hope that you enjoyed this tour of Segunda. For more information on activities, places, events, and all things Yara, consult our content index at the top of this page. Follow this page and come back often for more content!

This photo encompasses all of the chaotic beauty that is Segunda in one glance.

Special Acknowledgement

A special thanks to our guest photographer, @mynonsenseistingling, who graciously provided some of the shots for this article and for being one of our agency’s first and most faithful supporters.

A side road to Segunda; Picture by @mynonsenseistingling

Editor's Note:

We did visit inside of the FND Recruiting Office. The lady at the counter gave us the side eye.

And later on, some FND recruiter briefly took us in his car. Poor fellow probably thought we were interested in enlisting. Sorry, hermano. Already did our time and paid our dues. Sweet ride though.

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Things to Do Before You Die : Take a Helicopter Tour

There are many ways to take to the skies in Yara - seems no one needs a pilot license nowadays. If you are feeling bold but not bold enough to fly by yourself, you can take a short but worth it Helicopter Tour off the coast of Conuco in El Este. The tour will take you along the Sombra River, over the village of Maldito, over to Schaub Pass and off the coast.

Pick up is at Carbonell Farm - It's a coconut farm - South East of Concepción. Your pilot's name is Calixto Alba. He's a former FND pilot but he'll tell you all about it. At the end of the tour, the pilot can either take you back to the farm or you can parachute down to a ship below. Your call, but remember, in life, you only regret the things you haven't done. Happy flying!

Watch the short clip below for a sample of the tour and don’t mind the chatter. Fellow looooves to chat.

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Content Index

We have added an index so you can quickly find what you're looking for. See what’s NEW below when new content is added.

Places to Visit:

Verdera: A One Horse Town Segunda: A City Divided.

Getting Around Yara:

Main Roads

Fauna y Flora de Yara:

Marine Life Crocodiles

Things to do Before You Die:

Take a Helicopter Tour Visit a Haunted Fortress

FAQ

FAQ / preguntas frecuentes - Page 1 FAQ / preguntas frecuentes - Page 2 FAQ/preguntas frecuentes - Page 3

All Things Yara:

Himno Nacional Yarano : Learn our National Anthem with English translation An Introduction - Includes "Things to Know Before Visiting Yara Santo Gusto Café Company Complete Viviro™ Tour ( Available on our YouTube channel)

From Our YouTube Channel:

The Segunda Hangover: What NOT to do in Yara Storytime with Philly Barzaga: How Chorizo Got His Wheels Dr. Yanny Dábolos' Shock Therapy Complete Viviro™ Tour NEW

We have a new YouTube Channel:

Check it out!: VYT Productions

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Places to Visit: Verdera: A One Horse Town.

Aerial view of downtown Verdera, Lozanía, Madrugada.

Verdera is a small one horse town located in the province of Lozanía in the rural region of Madrugada. There isn’t all that much to do up there but it was still worth getting a paycheck for the day so we went there and I am writing this article anyway. Verdera is from “verde,” meaning green. A well-suited name for a town nestled in a valley surrounded by lush green hills.

Main Attractions

Town square and Church In the middle of this tiny dot on the map of a town stands the Church of Verdera. We searched everywhere for the actual name of the Church, but even the locals simply refer to it as “la Iglesia de Verdera.” Like many small towns around the world, the town square is the main hub where many public events, live music performances, etc, take place.

La Iglesia de Verdera and town square.

Public performance schedule: Friday: Tres and Trumpet. Saturday: Mambo Night. Sunday: Church Choir.

You will often see Yarans set up pop up “garage sale” types of shops in the town square to try and sell items of very little value to tourists. But before you purchase someone’s broken kitchen appliance or a used toothbrush, why not donate a couple of pesos to these hard working men and women of Yara instead.

Don't buy someone's used toothbrush for the love of...

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And if random basura is not your thing, there is also a farmer’s market nearby where you can buy fresh produce and various meats.

Farmer's market in Verdera.

Visiting the Church

You can, but remember to keep your visit brief and be respectful of parishioners. Additionally, the church is often patrolled by FND (Fuerzas Nacionales de Defensa) soldiers who may or may not approve of your presence there depending on your conduct. For more information on the FND, consult the “Things to Know Before Visiting Yara” section or ask a VisitYaraToday agent.

Inside the Iglesia de Verdera.

Where to Stay

We think this might be a bed and breakfast but you should think of Verdera as more of a day trip location.

Where to Eat

The best and probably only place to eat in Verdera is a cantina which offers your usual fast food items (pizza, hamburguesa, etc) but it also features an outdoor terrace where meats are grilled right in front of you and served with the best local cerveza.

Como dicen los estadounidenses: Awwhhh yiiehhh

Worth mentioning

There’s a Radio Verdad station in the town. You can’t really visit it but it is worth mentioning since it is the only officially recognized radio station of Yara.

Radio Libertad. I mean Radio Verdad!

The town is very rural

Cows and chickens wandering around, tractors on the main road, people slaughtering pigs, all part of everyday life in Verdera and what makes its charm.

Oh, there's the one horse.

Verderanos doing Verderano things.

Areas to Avoid

Campo de Béisbol

There is a baseball field. Do not go to the baseball field. It is.. closed for.. maintenance.

Campo de Béisbol closed for.. repairs. Indefinitely.

We hope that you enjoyed this virtual tour of Verdera and as always, for more information on activities, places, events, and all things Yara, come back and visit this page often and follow us on Tumblr!

Editor's Note:

Are we not going to talk about public executions that are regularly held in that town square? It’s no secret. They are filmed and broadcasted live on Yara’s public tv network. These events are usually announced a day or two in advance over the public service announcement system, so if you are squeamish, come back when it’s all over.

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Getting Around Yara: Main Roads

Driving around Yara can be quite pleasant, but to get the most out of your experience, there are a few things you should know before hitting the road.

Yarans are CRAZY drivers!

Life is short and Yarans have places to be so aggressive and reckless driving is the norm. If someone needs to pass you, they will honk and pass you at high speeds. You'll get used to it. Just stay in your lane and try and avoid cussing them out.

A water utility vehicle involved in a crash.

Road Rules In short, there are none. There are no Stop signs and traffic lights are not a thing. The only road signs you will see in Yara are speed limits and even those are more of a guideline than an actual rule and no one follows it.

A Yaran woman riding at the back of a truck, Madrugada, Yara.

Checkpoints One thing that is NOT a suggestion however and you most definitely need to pay attention to are checkpoints. Checkpoints are set up along the main roads all across Yara to ensure the safety of all Yaran citizens and visitors to our country. They help limit the movement of dissidents, contraband, among other things, and allows for Yara to be safe and under control. Upon approaching a checkpoint, you must slow down and present valid documentation, identification, and whatever the FND agent may ask you to provide.

Types of checkpoint signs encountered along Yara’s main roads.

If you think you are in a hurry somewhere, you’re about to miss your flight or are thinking about skipping the checkpoint bureaucracy just this one time? Think again. Failure to reduce speed will result in your tires being blown out by road spikes and then you will most definitely miss your flight. Because you will be in custody. So do take the checkpoints seriously.

A dissident Yaran about to have a very bad day.

"Liberated" Checkpoints

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From time to time, local groups of dissidents might temporarily take control of a checkpoint. You will recognize the checkpoints that are no longer under FND control by blue flags erected and various acts of vandalism committed such as spray painted pictures and anti-governmental slogans.

Checkpoint under temporary dissident control.

You may still pass through but avoid lingering for your safety as these areas can be unpredictable without FND guidance.

A citizen caught in a skirmish. If you think you needed a cadaver warning here, Yara may not be a suitable destination for you. Perhaps consider vacationing in the Bahamas instead.

Military Presence

Yara being under martial law, it is normal and expected to encounter military vehicles of various types on the roads. The Fuerzas Nacionales de Defensa conducts regular, even incessant patrols of all major roads in Yara. Expect to see military personnel traveling in Jeeps with or without turrets, Armored Military Vehicles, tanks, even on horseback. Stay cool. Give them space and it’s as if they aren’t even there.

FND soldier riding on horseback. Tanks share the road.

Gas/Petrol Stations or Gasolinera

Getting gas in Yara can be tricky at times. There ARE gas stations, however, some are guarded by military personnel. This is to ensure gas is only utilized by law abiding citizens, or “True Yarans,” for lack of a better term. If a soldado is guarding the pumps, be polite, ask nicely and also remember that offering bribes goes a long way in Yara. ;)

FND soldier guarding a gasolinera.

Obstacles/Wildlife on the road

Yara’s beautiful and vast expanse of jungle and many farms means a lot of wildlife and animals running around including across roads. Be vigilant, especially at night when visibility is reduced. 

Why did the chickens cross the road?

Random shit

From dogs, livestock, wild coyotes, idiot joggers, just always be ready for anything and everything to jump out onto the road. Poison spills, broken down cars, upturned vehicles are also more frequent than we would like them to be so don't take your eyes off the road. Texting and driving is just one more thing that can and will kill you in Yara.

The type of bull encountered while driving in Yara. 

Follow these tips and your next road trip in Yara will be a breeze!

For more information on activities, places, events, and all things Yara, come back and visit this site often!

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Editor's Note:

You might be thinking: all this sounds too crazy, why don't I just take the bus instead? Surely they have public transit in Yara. There are bus stops, but, don't wait for the bus. You might be there for hours, days, who knows! The taxis don’t even stop at the bus stops.

Buses are just not reliable.

And no one knows why.

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