#visiting my dad is multiplying it 100 fold too bc every time i come back hes updated a few little things his place is so nice
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fell down the rabbit hole of instagram interior design reels for an hour this morning I want my own place sooooo bad let me OUUUUTTT
#not my own place as in having a mortgage bc i cant fucking afford that shit i just mean. renting a house instead of a flat#and by myself so i can do whatever the fuck i want with the space........aurgghhhhhhhhhh#visiting my dad is multiplying it 100 fold too bc every time i come back hes updated a few little things his place is so nice#crumples like a plastic cup. okay im good now just remembered i get paid in 8 days + i promised myself i can do an ikea trip after payday#my room in my current flat is so tiny and full of crap landlord furniture theres so little i can change. but im trying to work with it#i have a few ideas anyway......hopefully can do everything i want within the tiny budget i have but if not ill spread it over months#it hasnt bothered me for a year and a half but its starting to miff me that my roommate has a room twice the size#bc i initially wanted it so i would have space to work out n i own more shit than her anyway.... and she said i could have it#and then like a few days before we moved in she changed her mind which was fine ik she needs space to pace around#but yeah next time i move i need a bigger room im so tired of being cramped in tiny boxes#or at least if its my own place i dont have to worry abt containing all my shit to my room anyway!!!! idm just sleeping in a small rm#ik i take up some of the living room space w my bookshelves n shit atm anyway but i constantly feel like im intruding#and i knoooooowwww im prolly just overreacting to feeling confined bc of my Unknown Illness. but i cant do anything abt that#so at least let me be able to vent it in other ways..........#ALRIGHT I NEED TO EAT SMTH BYE#.diaries
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