#viscardi babbles

[viscardiac]

I got in serious, almost getting expelled from school, trouble over a death note and I'm dead serious. I was 11, and as 11yo kids go, i was a weeaboo lil shit. My mom was going through a Phase of her own, and she downloaded the fresh ass live action death note movies (the japanese ones). I was obsessed with it, as 11yos go, and I decided to make my own death note.

So I bought a cheap lil notebook, the cheapest bullshit around. I printed the cover, I printed the rules pages, and i glued them on the note. It was just kids being kids, and I was fully aware it was just for play. So there we went, classmates and I, to write names on our Brand New Death Note. We wrote plenty of names there, from teachers we hated to pop stars we hated. It was 2009 and Justin Bieber had his fair share of writes.

To this day I don't know why that teacher confiscated the notebook. It wasn't being played with in class or anything, it was just laying on my desk. I was pissed, but whatever, it was a cheap notebook with a bunch of printed anime crap.

Now, this was 2009 Brazil, where anime wasn't very well known or mainstream. And so the teacher, who happened to be a hated one, flipped through a notebook with a bunch of people, including her, written there with our desired causa mortis. She didn't get what the glued pages said, though, and went to translate them. Cue hell being raised in the school. Satanic panic all around.

I got the biggest write up of my life. My parents were called to the school by an assorted team of my very, very concerned and lowkey scared teachers, the school psychologist, and other people whose jobs idk how to translate. They told my parents they were going to talk about something very difficult. They thought that I was being pulled into a cult of satan worshippers (yes, for real. I couldn't make this up if i tried.) My parents were kinda freaked out, like, this is so far the kid that stirs the least trouble, but okay. Let's hear what they have going on.

They pulled out the death note. My parents, who were very much aware of what it was in a pretty good depth, looked at each other, and cracked the biggest laugh ever. They then had to explain that this is a prop from an anime, you know, the japanese cartoons? The pretty embarrassed school folks gave the thing back. They looked at me wrong for the rest of the year. They did Not retract the write up.

what's the most demented thing you guys got in trouble for in school mine was when an english boy in my class made fun of my name and called my mum a (derogatory word for irish travellers) so i told him my ira uncle was in town and was coming to blow him up after school

[viscardiac]

The pretty girl genes

My personal headcanon/fav wack theory is that the families with magic in their blood, like the Targaryen or the Stark, often have two phenotypes. The bulky phenotype and the pretty girl phenotype. I don't say this in a gendered sense, just as a general aesthetic. The pretty girl parts of the family are usually softer in aspect, and have those fairytale airs about them. The bulky parts on the other hand are the people that will scare you off based on appearance alone. It's not the sneer in their face or the wildness of their demeanor, it's just that they look like they could really fuck you up.

For the Targaryen, the pretty girl genes are dominant. You rarely ever get some dude like Maegor who was just massive all around. I mean. Aegon The Conqueror was just some anime twink. Look at this guy.

This isn't some dude you'd wanna cross the street to avoid. He's really just some twink. And most of the Targaryens are Like That. Maegor is one of the few exceptions, and I'm going to put in Maelys Blackfyre in that category too, but take at some of the most feared ones for having their heads up their asses like Aerion the Bright, or crazy Aerys.

Aerion is pretty even being punched in the face.

Aerys always looks like he's constipated anyways but he's still built like a pretty girl. You get exceptions that pop up once in a lifetime when the stars and planets align and someone manages to get the bulky genes from both sides.

Now, for the Stark, and i'm probably guessing the north in general, considering they come from a different lineage/ethnicity altogether, have some different shit going on. The Targaryen got, from outsiders to the house, andal blood (Arryn, Martell [rhoynar too, in this case]). In theory, the Dayne were of the first men, but with the andal invasion, there's likely been a lot of mix up, and the same is to be said of the Blackwood and the Hightower. The only arguably more direct line (though i doubt they haven't really married with other andal houses too) are the Baratheon. ...The Velaryon hadn't as much self imposed restrictions for marriage as the Targaryen did, so there's probably one shit ton of outside marriages for them too. I can be very wrong about all this bc it's pretty hard to track when we don't have all that much info on family trees, but honestly i don't care, this is my wack theory and you'll bear with me. The Targaryen are fairly easier to track because of the, yknow, whole incest business.

The north doesn't really get on with outsiders, though. They pretty much stay there, doing their thing, trying very hard not to stick themselves in all this court bullshit. For the Stark line, mostly only the daughters married people from the outside, meaning they don't partake in the main line, and are instead accounted for in other family trees. The women who weren't northeners are Blackwoods, who have, though likely joined with andals on the long run, a first men origin, and one Catelyn Tully, who has this same claim to her bloodline. I don't count the Manderly as outsiders, seeing as they, as the Stark and most if not all of the north, a claim to the first men origin.

Now, the Starks often seem to be the imposing, bulky type that we don't really see all that often with the Targaryen. They all mostly seem tall and imposing from the accounts we have. We'll say for this purpose, the pretty girl genes are actually recessive for them. The only two described Stark women that aren't Catelyn's Arya or Sansa are Alarra Stark, who was described by her father as "as sweet to look upon as any southron lady", and Lyanna, The Lyanna. Lyanna wasn't described to be beautiful in the same way that Elia was, being wild and slim where Elia was delicate. I am a firm believer of pretty girl Lyanna -- though, yes, i don't think she was pretty in the same manner as ladies from other ethnicities were, all pretty girls, but different brand of pretty girl. North pretty girl is wilder and all that.

And then we get to what for me is the funny part. I know, I know, not all of us like or are into the R+L=J theory, but I do, and since this is my post only my opinion matters. Whatever was the nature of the relationship between them, we get lil pretty Jon. Jon always gets described as pretty. He's prettier than daughters, he gets confused for a girl a time or two if i remember it right, and in comparison to what Robb looks like, Tully features aside, he looks way softer. This doesn't seem to have been a problem Ned Stark had, from what was told so far, to have been to pretty it became annoying.

Rhaegar, however, was never really different from what a Targaryen man was expected to look like. People already expected them to look pretty and soft and graceful and stare into the distance after something no one else could understand.

What I'm saying is that Jon managed to snag TWO DIFFERENT TYPES OF PRETTY GIRL. That's why he's Like That.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.