#viktorfictive

[fictionkinfessions]

I wish people would stop cross-tagging. I like Arcane, but if I want to go into tags for content exclusive to League of Legends, I shouldn’t have to be staring down Jayce Talis in the Jayce Giopara tag. I don’t want to *block* Arcane either, because I don’t dislike the show! I just wish the common courtesy of keeping adaptation tags separate from original source tags was still in vogue. If I’m looking for vikjayce, I shouldn’t have to look at jayvik. Leave my smug bastard slash nemesis slash babygirl out of this.

-Viktor (League of Legends fictive)

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[drinksleeprecord]

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[fictionkinfessions]

to distract from The Finale; one of our friends didn’t realize it was fronting on call and asked us if we were doing a gru impression. I’m Just Polish. it’s been making me laugh for like a week -viktor arcane

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[fictionkinfessions]

I know I and my “twin” have sent several kinfessions lately, so I apologize for clogging the askbox, but jesus h christ do I hate that they rewrote LoL champion bios to better align with Arcane. It’s silly, but being written over to make me more palatable to the masses makes me just feel… unwanted. Like I’m not good enough.

A ridiculous emotional response. I wasn’t very accepted back then, it only makes sense I should be rejected now. In spite of knowing how childish it is, I do still wish I could feel wanted for who I am and not for who Arcane wants me to be.

I’m harder to love. I’m okay with that. Still, even I want to feel like people care about me *and* my flaws, not in spite of them.

-🤖 Viktor, League of Legends fictive

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[fictionkinfessions]

I had a bad day, so I’m thinking about one of our few moments of peace post-augmentation. You are, unfortunately, a comfort to me.

We’re sitting together. Not fighting, for once. I expect you to ask any number of questions or to pick a fight or to boost your ego. Instead you begin small-talking.

I ask why. You shrug. It goes quiet, and then you ask a question I never expected. Not from you.

“Did it hurt?”

You should know better. I’ve made no secret that I removed my ability to feel pain. But that’s not what you meant, was it? You were asking if the choice had been difficult. The words come easily, that it was the easiest choice of my life and I don’t regret it at all, but they don’t make it past my tongue.

I don’t feel anything anymore, but the weight in my chest is as close to feeling regret as I think I’m capable of.

Any longer and I’ll stop reminiscing and start practically writing a fic. But I’ll say one thing more on the moment.

I still feel the warmth of the hug you gave me. I wish I could feel it again. It’s a weakness, Jayce, the amount by which I miss you. I know if I saw you again we would probably fight. It’s what we were best at. But for a few minutes, could we pretend to be something else?

Could you hold me one more time?

-🤖 Viktor, League of Legends fictive

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[fictionkinfessions]

🥀 Context: I’m a League of Legends fictive, and I have a “double” that’s a blend of League and Arcane. For all intents and purposes, I’ll be calling him my “twin”. Cool? Cool.

Sometimes I’m bitter about the fact that my twin would have better luck finding the people he misses than I would. Arcane kins and fictives are all over the place. He just needs to get over how asocial he is. The worst part? He never told the damn guy how he felt, and he’s very convinced that the guy was straight, so he’s just stuck in this hell limbo of “do I look for him or do I let it go and wonder for the rest of my life if he’d ever thought of me the same”.

Me? I had a situationship with mine, and I’m more than happy to admit it. I’m not exactly a social butterfly either, but I’m willing to do whatever needs to be done, and I’d do it at ANY cost if only the rest of my system wasn’t holding me back. I hate and love mine in equal measure. And yet I’ve never seen anyone identify with his LoL character exclusively and outside of Arcane altogether.

My twin, who could find someone to talk to if he would just open up. Myself, who is willing to be open but will never find someone to talk to. What a predicament we’re in.

-🤖Viktor, League of Legends fictive, although this mentions Arcane I’m clarifying that the one making this kinfession is *not* from Arcane. Tragically. Thank you.

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[fictionkinfessions]

Why can’t you leave me alone? I hate having feelings again, I’m out of practice with pushing them back down and it’s so raw. You haunt me. I wish I could stop caring. I don’t want to love you anymore, and this time I can’t even do anything about it. Please leave. Get out of my thoughts. Please. I just want you gone. I never want to think about you again. I wish you could have loved me more than words can say. I wish I’d been brave enough to find out. Now all I have are these useless feelings that do nothing but hurt. I don’t want them anymore. I want you to stop being in my head. Get out. Leave me alone.

Come back anyways. Even if it’s to tell me you never loved me and never will. Break my heart so I can start putting it back together, because I can’t live like this.

-Viktor, Arcane/League of Legends fictive

[fictionkinfessions]

Draft two of tonight’s message, but draft six in my notes app of things I’d like to say to you. Some of those drafts are a bit mean-spirited, but I hope this one, the kindest I’ve got, will suffice.

Jayce, I’m sorry for how I left. I know it was more intense than shown on screen. I’m not sorry for going back to my old lab, especially because the alternative APPARENTLY was to start a cult. But I’m sorry for hurting you.

I don’t think you loved me, so I never said anything, but I’ll say it now: I love you still. Even after I cut out my more unnecessary feelings, I couldn’t really get rid of you.

I just wish you could have loved me too.

Some part of me hopes I’m wrong to assume you didn’t love me. It hopes you’ll show up unnanounced at my door and we can start over. But the thought of getting you back only to be told explicitly that you never loved me… I want the closure, but I’m not sure I could bear it. It’s easier to just never see you again and assume you couldn’t have ever found it in you to love me. Easier to pretend I wouldn’t have deserved it even if you did.

I miss you anyways.

-Viktor, both Arcane and League of Legends, fictive

[fictionkinfessions]

Jinx also being there is the only condition under which I am happy with caitvi -Vi (Arcane fictive)

[fictionkinfessions]

just finished arcane season two so spoilers for that. i’ve known i was canon divergent for a while but holy shiiiiit uhhhhhhh. sorry vander. and sky. and everyone else. i’m not apologizing to jayce for defending myself when he routinely attacked me though i was just trying to fucking vibe, i did not Want to be turning others into soldiers. the soldiers were supposed to be automatons. if you see an art nouveau filigreed werewolf moving too robotically in an alley RUN that is NOT me /lh -viktor (fictive)

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[fictionkinfessions]

i had healed children. i wanted them to lead longer, healthier lives than i had. what happened to them, hm? were they made soldiers? i sincerely hope not. i had not wanted my gift to be a weapon. i wanted to help. i wanted to better the lives of the people of zaun. not to conscript them. i have always been uncertain regarding source canon’s direction, and i will not say i did not enjoy seeing how things played out. i am glad that my canon self found peace. but he is not me. i do not know that i could have abandoned the community i had built, or my humanity, the way he did. perhaps that’s a good thing. i am glad that i never had to find out.

i hope the kids from the commune come up again. they quickly became my reason to live in my own timeline. oriana included.

-viktor (arcane, fictive)

[fictionkinfessions]

It was more than affection, it was beyond casual. I'm sorry. You made things feel better even at the worst. I'm sorry.

(Viktor,arcane Fictive)

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[fictionkinfessions]

For the cannon disabilities question- I literally formed bc the body was going through several medical episodes and saw my source and went “yep, in my brain now thanks” 😭

-Viktor (arcane fictive)

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[fictionkinfessions]

⚠️ child death cw

canon offspring is a difficult game for me to participate in — either i miscarried, or my daughter was stillborn. my health problems were too much for either of us to bear, and trying to have her nearly killed me, too. but even still, i think of her very fondly.

your father loves you, annaleise. i’m sure your uncle jayce and auntie sky would say the same.

-viktor (arcane, fictive)

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[fictionkinfessions]

the official league of legends twitter: viktor’s birthday is dec 29th bc that’s when he was first released :-)

me, viktor, whose birthday was nov 8th: i know more than you.

(fictive, source is arcane)

[fictionkinfessions]

happy father’s day to me, i suppose. i didn’t get a chance to raise my daughter. but i’m something of a father figure among the system, and it’s. possible. that i may have children in the future, be it in-headspace or otherwise. so.

…i don’t really know how to end this, heh. but i hope anyone who’s been in a similar situation to my own is having a nice day, too.

-viktor (fictive)