#victorian child energy fr

[five-eyed-peacock]

Crevari gotta take care of her poor little meow meow (the literal king of hell) and give him his milkies (wine. A lot of wine)

[baekhyunsbestie]

(cw s3xual)

Lisa, favorite girl out there, I need your help pls 😫😫 Ngl I’m feeling kinda hornie lately but like… I have 0 sex life rip… so what should I do at this point? I feel like I’m going insaaaneee

asking you bc I trust you and you always give great advice ❤️‍🔥 😉

nonnieeeeee my beloved, my dearest, my favorite lil freak in distress…

ok first of all, i love that i’ve somehow become the designated horny consultant. second, ur so real for this lmaaaaoooo 🙂‍↕️ so, ur out here suffering, feeling like a victorian child w a fever, and the streets (or your bed) are giving you nothing???? don’t worry ur ate lisa is here and she comes bearing solutions <333333333

⟢ first and probs the most important tip: taking matters into your own hands—literally

listen.... if ur not actively out here in these streets (or even if you are but just not getting to where ya need to go), it’s time to embrace the magic of self care!!!! ur hands, fingers, and battery powered besties exist!! so use them!!!!!! set the mood. put on some cute lingerie. light a candle, play a sexy lil playlist, romanticize the experience. and if ur already doing these things n still feeling like ur bout to lose it, maybe it’s time to switch things up—try new techniques, new angles, new… equipment. don't lose faith 😭😭😭😭 ur own hands and/or toys will never ghost you, disappoint you, or finish too soon.

also, i cannot stress this enough: knowing what you like is KEYYYY. before i ever did anything smutty irl, i consumed so much filth thinking i was prepared—and yet, when the time(s) came, i was the only one who wasn’t 😭

but if you master your own map before letting someone else try to navigate, u won’t waste as much of ur time fumbling around in the dark (literally and figuratively). instead of hoping someone magically gets it, you can just tell them exactly what works for you. and honestly??!?!?!?!? being a confident person who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to say it????? yeah, that’s hot as HELLLLLLL. fr i WISH someone had told me this before i ever started getting freaky w other people. could’ve saved myself from some extremely mid experiences. learn from my mistakes my lovie!!! invest in yourself :')

⟢ redirect the energy

ok so here’s the thing..... sexual frustration is basically just excess energy that your body doesn’t know what to do w. that’s why u see people suddenly become gym rats when they’re single!!!!

so if ur feeling like ur body is a pressure cooker about to explode, channel that energy elsewhere. go for a run, lift some weights, do pilates, yoga, or even just dance around your room. i promise, by the time ur done, you’ll either feel like a new person or be too exhausted to care.

and if physical activity isn’t ur thing, put that energy into something creative. write, paint, learn a new skill, or reorganize your entire closet. is this just a form of productive distraction???? yeah. absolutely. but trust meeeeee this works!!!!

⟢ dating apps (never tried them myself but literally everyone i know irl has, so here’s the consensus lmao)

if ur looking for actual interaction, dating apps are there. are they a lawless wasteland? absolutely. but are they also full of potential?????? ....yes. just keep these golden rules in mind:

be clear about what you want!!! casual fun? something meaningful? just someone to simp over you? state your intentions and move accordingly.

do not ignore red flags!!! if someone gives you the ick within the first three msgs, block n delete. ur time is too precious.

have fun with it :) worst case? you walk away with some chaotic stories. best case? you find exactly what ur looking for. either way it's a win-win.

⟢ flirt for fun (but wisely)

even if u have zero plans to date or hook up rn, just FLIRT!!!!! flirting is fun, it keeps you on ur toes, and honestly??? life is just way more entertaining when ur a flirt :’) you don’t have to actually pursue anything but a lil playful back-and-forth? sooo much fun omg scratches the itch w/o committing to anything serious.

no one to flirt with? flirt w ur friends!!!! be an absolute fuckn DOGGG to them lmaoooo it helps hype each other up, boost the confidence, and best part?? no risk of leading anyone on. amazing. spectacular. flirt with ur friends. now.

⟢ touch some grass (literally and figuratively)

sometimes, the horniness is just misplaced boredom, stress, or loneliness in disguise. when was the last time you went outside? have you seen the sun lately? have you gone out and reminded yourself that you are, in fact, a well-rounded human being w/ interests beyond yearning??????

step outside, go for a walk, get coffee with a friend or jsut sit on a park bench and people watch. remind urself that life is happening beyond the four walls of your room and the inside of ur head.

but most importantly, remember: your time will come!!!! until then, stay strong, stay hydrated, and may your dreams be rated r 💖💓💖💓💗💗💓💞💓💖

[favoure]

ah yes, the two genders: absent mother milf grain with children that could probably fill an orphanage, or dilf grain with chest hair and gritties

none of these words are in the bible