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axburrows · 5 years ago

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“My Plague Journal”

By RICHARD LITTLETHOUGHT ‘The Voice of Truth, if by “Truth” you mean “Profoundly Right-Wing Assertions”.’

DAY IV

Readers, I do confess this self-isolation business is getting to me at the very roots! The other day, I was having a harmless browse of some of that P.G. Wodehouse – ‘fun for all the fam’, as the rappers would say. But several chapters in, my heart ached and a drowsy numbness pained my sense, as though of Benylin® I had drunk.

In my delirious state, I saw myself attired in a starched collar and claw-hammer coat to boot. My man-cave was gone. Looking around at this new opulent interior, I surmised that I’d entered into the employment of a top-drawer citizen: Mister Bertram Wooster! Distantly, I heard the tinkling of a bell. I pursued the sound up a long and winding staircase. I opened an oak panelled door and stepped into my master’s bedroom. He was lounging beneath candy-striped bedclothes, a little bell in his hand.

‘You rang, sir?’ I said.

‘Now look here, Littlethought’, Wooster intoned, ‘My squeeze, Emily Maitlis, is coming round for supper later and I want to make a bit of an impression – if you catch my meaning?’

‘Indeed, sir.’ I said.

‘I’ve got a grocery list here for her favourite dish: Greek moussaka with a special side salad – Yukon potatoes, artichoke hearts and a caramelised fig – that sort of caper.’ He waved this scroll of decadence beneath my salt-of-the-earth nose. ‘Now be a sport and toddle down to Whole Foods, would you?’

‘Indeed, sir’, I intoned. I took the list and shimmered out.

Coming down Kensington High Street, the pavements billowed with a thousand coxcombs in primrose scarfs and crushable bushman’s hats. Through the window of a Wasabi, the Monopoly Man was licking ramen off a glass table top while a prostitute clapped. I turned and saw a parade processing up the road, at the centre of which was a massive Chinese dragon with the face of a polystyrene James O’Brien. Fire-eaters and acrobats pranced around it performing tricks, whilst Sandi Toksvig saluted the crowd from an amphibious rocket launcher. Jess Phillips played ‘I Will Survive’ on the ocarina. A marmoset was on Skype!!! I’m a stranger in my own country! I thought.

Behind me, I heard a fragile voice singing from the doorway of an Alms House.

‘Jesus blood - never failed me yet - never failed m’yet - never failed me...’

‘Mister Farage!’ I said. ‘Whatever became of our Man of the Hour?’

‘I’ve been stripped of m’assets, boy. Stripped of m’assets.’

‘Wassat?’

‘M’Youtube videos have been de-monitised, I tells ye! All m’lovely Youtube videos!’

‘They’ll never get away with this, Nige! God’s honour, they won’t!’

‘Thruppence for a vodka jelly, will ye?’

I was about to knee him in the groin and make a speech about the undeserving poor, when an affectless young man approached and forced a limp handshake. The young man then turned and gestured to a bunch of phlegmatic-faced tweens in furs doing coke off a padlock key.

‘Hey, guys, come on over!’ he said. ‘It’s a load of pre-gentrification First Peoples!’

They introduced themselves as characters who’d escaped from an Andrew Doyle satire. They were now surviving hand-to-mouth as a band of marauding postmodernists. They tried to impress me by showing me colourful objects from their ‘superior culture’, including Nespresso pods, scalp wax and a pencil sharpener from the Barbican Centre. A young woman in turquoise brogues read a poem about having adulterous sex in a library. When I told her I thought poetry was a form of character weakness, she cried onto her shoes (AND HER LACES TO BOOT!!hooho!). One tired-looking bloke – who claimed that sleep patterns were ‘just a construct’ and favoured instead a politicised version of rest known as ‘free-sleep’ – asked if I’d considered taking ‘powerful antidepressants’ to cure my conservatism. I told him that I was in love with my own sadness. I said I wanted to live my life ‘like a powder keg: short but sweet’ – I winked at the shoe-lady. The bloke explained that he wanted to live his life like an otter: ‘a very long and chilled one’, on his own, lying on a beanbag, eating stems of barley, with infrequent but carefully scheduled sessions of masturbation. I looked him squarely in the eyes and asked if he’d ever had a wet shave. The woman interjected and said I should join a Union, as ‘a working-class person!’

‘Who’re you calling working-class?!’ says I. ‘I’m a small business owner, don’t y’know!’

………………

I was referring to a small business I tried to establish in the late 90s, selling knock-off Toby jugs from the boot of my Mazda, just off the A13 trunk road. We got busted by a gang of hired bravoes sent by the Wedgwood company. I was left lying on the verge with a pair of broken legs surrounded by shards of homemade ceramics. The police managed to trace the bravoes as far as Stoke-on-Trent where the trail ran cold, thanks to a conspiracy of silence among the city’s terrified residents. I had a meltdown not long after that. In my despair, I overdosed on Vick’s VapoRub and tried walking into the sea one night down in Billericay. I was saved, after I mistook the inchoate outline of a miniature schnauzer for the spiritual form of a Toby Jug. It hovered above the sand, glowing.

Don’t give up, Dick. Don’t give up the ju-ugs!

But I can’t, Tobias, mate. The porcelain industry is eating me alive!

No one else can potter like you, Dick! That’s the truth.

But the jugs have become a burden, mate!

It is your destiny, Dick. The jugs are your destiny! Swear. Swear.

What are you? Angel or Devil?

I AM IN HELL!!!!

………………….

Once I had absquatulated from the students, I entered the vast baize complex of Whole Foods. I’d never seen so many vegetables in my life [INSERT GIBE ABOUT THE SCOTTISH]. The building was at least 100 storeys high, buzzing with flying cars and hydraulic escalators. It was like the Tower of Babel itself! Fritz Lang’s Metropolis crossed with a farmer’s market.

The affluence of the place sickened me to my very claw! I walked past some Houynhnhnms, cantering along the ‘Oats’ aisle. They gave me sideways glances and whispered to one another.

‘Darling, is that a Leaver?’

‘Darling, do you know, I think it might well be!’

‘In Whole Foods? I say, do you think he’s here to get his methadone injection? Someone should tell him, it’s not that kind of supermarket.’ *Goya-esque braying*

I’m a creep, I thought. I’m a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here.

Near an aisle of artichokes, my bum was perused by the ghost of W.H. Auden.

‘Sir! If I may say’, he whispered, ‘Your arse is so muscular, I should wish to immortalise it in verse!’ I bristled at the scent of cherry brandy on his lips.

‘I concur, Wystan!’ crooned the fay shade of Lytton Strachey. ‘A truly delectable specimen.’

I swung at them. ‘Naff orf, you bloody wagtails!’

‘Oh, I say!’ preened Wystan Hugh.

At which point the ghost of Jean Cocteau approached, his eyes gleaming like a deviant, his fingers wriggling, ‘Ohohoho! Il a un cul chaud!’

‘Now look ere, Frenchy! One step over this ere threshold and I’ll knock yer flippin block off, comprehend-e?’

‘Je recommanderais le chou-fleur.’

‘Watch it! I’m warning you!’

‘Oh, Jean. You old nag!’

‘Oui. Je suis un cinéaste.’

‘I can’t make head nor tail of this! I bluddy hate these romance languages’ I said to myself, sotto voce. I felt a stranger in my native land.

Once I had absquatulated the scene, I returned to the penthouse to prepare supper while Wooster billed and cooed with Ms Maitlis. (It was like the courting ritual of kestrels!!) Around midnight, I brought in the third course of banana shallots. The room was billowing with the scent of orange blossom and legal highs; I nearly fainted. Maitlis wore large, exotic torques from the Barbican Centre gift shop. She was hunkered over a big, indulgent glug of “Chateau de Liz Kendall”. Her eyes were as brown as spear handles!! Her face was firm yet glam, like the prow of a Russian oil tanker steered by Bianca Jagger. Her throaty voice, with its alluring masculine depths, was both thick and sweet, like oil on a scone (in an M&S advert sponsored by Shell).

‘Your butler’, she intoned. ‘A bit wet behind the ears, don’t you think?’

‘Oh gawd,’ my master said, his saliva moonlit, ‘don’t I know it, Ms Emma! Hum-hum-hum-hum.’

Now easy, Dick, says I to mine-self. Easy does it now.

Her voice sank deeper: ‘If you want to move in with me, Wooster, we’re going to have to find you a new man!’

‘If you like, I could fire this bounder on the spot! Just for you. I would do that, Emily. For you I would! If you’d like!’

She grinned and they stared into each other’s eyes for a good minute. Then she glanced up at me, a touch dismayed. Wooster turned around - he had a scheming look.

‘Oh, fetch us dessert, would you, Littlethought?’

I shimmered out. I returned a few moments later with an inappropriately large jelly designed by Norman Foster.

‘Ta, Littlethought.’

‘Sir.’

‘Oh, and Littlethought?’

‘Sir?’

‘You’re dismissed.’

‘Sir?!’

‘Dismissed. Arrivederci, Littlethought. We’re replacing you. Don’t come back tomorrow. You can leave your key card on the salver.’

I TOOK OUT A BOMB. I SCREAMED LIKE A CELT!

‘I say, steady on there, Littlethought!’

‘YIPPEE-KI-YAY, MOTHERFUCKERS!’ I intoned.

‘I didn’t know you spoke French, Littlethought!’

I pulled the cord! ‘FOR ENGLAND!’

Unfortunately, I was the only casualty. I wish I had died to avoid legal culpability. But it was a British explosive, so I incurred only minor tissue scarring. My master and Ms Maitlis immediately pressed charges. Because of my two-year-long media campaign against legal aid, I could only afford to be represented by a sparrow. The sparrow had yet to graduate to the bar, having only recently built his nest outside the chambers at Gray’s Inn where I hoped he’d at least absorbed something of the finer points of tort law. I appeared in court the following week in a plaster cast, where I was sentenced to life by Justice Lady Hale.

‘Well, well, well, Mithta Littlethought’, lisped Lady Hale. ‘A Leaver in the dock, I thee! It mutht be my lucky day! Yum yum yum!’ (She rubbed her stomach and mimed eating me - which I thought excessive.) A roll call of witnesses for the prosecution sealed my fate: Kojack, David Blunkett, and Charlotte Church in a bonnet who jumped up on the plaintiff’s bench and called me ‘a witch’ and then fainted. Lady Hale said I was ‘weak and scum’ - or ‘thcum’, to be precise (which is Welsh for ‘seamen’, FYI).

‘I thenenth you to 55 yearth, Mr Littlethought!’ she crooned. ‘55 backbwaking yearth!’

She banged her gavel. A loud cheer broke out across the gallery. I looked at my sparrow in his tiny little fucking wig, cursing him with my very blood.

‘May God have merthy upon your thoul, Mithta Littlethought!’ Hale said.

The sparrow immediately took wing – with my car keys in its beak – and escaped from a clearstory window. I’d lost everything. As I was bundled out of the courtroom, my faithful but still vividly puce-legged wife, Vanessa, surreptitiously passed me a cyanide capsule and an After Eight mint. She kissed me.

‘I’ll never forget you, Monsieur Robespierre,’ she said. ‘I’ll never forget you – you – you – YOU…’

I woke up. My body was covered in sweat. It had all been a dream. I sighed with relief. I drew back the coverlet. But then, in the palm of my right hand: was a melted After Eight! Had it really been a dream? Yes. I had fallen asleep on top of a box of After Eights. I showered the mint chocolate off my cords and wept.

----------- b l a c k o u t ------------

Grams: ‘Underneath the Arches’ (Flanagan/ Allen - ft. Dua Lipa)

CODA:

#crapola #falsehoods #tapestryoflies #absquatulate #to boot

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zibizuba · 5 years ago

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35 Celebrities Convicted of Felonies

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It’s laborious to think about a glamorous actress or a beloved musician behind bars, however sadly, superstar standing and success weren’t sufficient to maintain these well-known felons out of the massive home. Many actors, fashions, musicians, rappers, athletes, and TV personalities have be convicted of felonies. Celebrities convicted of felonies should pay the value for his or her crimes, similar to another prison. Some celebrities grew up surrounded by unlawful wrong-doings, whereas others cite their felonies as a “one-time mistake.”

Who’s the most well-known superstar to get caught within the pokey? Chris Brown tops our checklist. In December 2009, Chris Brown was convicted of assault and battery of his then-girlfriend, Rihanna. Shockingly, Mark Wahlberg additionally dedicated a felony – when he was 16 years previous, he was convicted for the racially motivated assault and tried homicide of two Vietnamese males. He beat one in all them with a picket stick, and punched the opposite within the face, knocking each of them unconscious.

As for well-known feminine felons, Martha Stewart is well-known for her 2004 insider buying and selling scandal. She was convicted of felony conspiracy fees, in addition to mendacity to police and obstructing justice. Courtney Love has been charged with two separate felonies; one was a drug possession cost, and the opposite was for assaulting a girl with a bottle and a steel flashlight.

Are you stunned that so many celebrities are convicted felons? Tell us within the remark part beneath!

Invoice Cosby

On September 25, 2018, Choose Steven T. O’Neill sentenced Bill Cosby to a few to 10 years in state jail. Cosby was tried in Norristown, PA, for the 2004 drugging and assault of Andrea Constand in his Cheltenham house.

In 2017, Cosby was discovered responsible of three counts of aggravated indecent assault for the evening with Constand. It was the second trial for Cosby regarding these fees – the primary trial in June 2017 was a mistrial.

Cosby is the first celebrity of the Me Too movement to be sentenced to jail.

Suge Knight

In 2008, Suge Knight was arrested for aggravated assault and drug fees. Police discovered him beating his girlfriend, Melissa Issac, and threatening her with a knife. He was reportedly on cocaine and ecstasy on the tile of the assault.

In 2014, Knight was arrested together with Katt Williams for second diploma theft after they stole a digicam from a feminine photographer. He was arrested in 2015 on suspicion of running over two people with his car, after which fleeing the scene. The entire thing was caught on digicam, and Knight says that his actions have been in self protection.

In 2018, he pleaded responsible to homicide for operating over the 2 males in 2015. The courtroom sentenced him to 28 years in prison for voluntary manslaughter. Citing his poor well being, Knight advised the choose he anticipates dying in jail.

Chris Brown

In December 2009, Chris Brown assaulted his then-girlfriend, pop singer Rhianna, and was charged with felony assault and prison risk. He plead responsible at his trial, and was provided a plea deal that allowed him to forgo jail rather than 5 years of formal probation, neighborhood service, and home violence lessons.

Courtney Love

In 2003, Courtney Love was convicted of felony drug possession following a painkiller overdose that almost killed her. A yr later in 2004, she was charged with felony assault for attacking a girl with a bottle and a steel flashlight.

Stephen Fry

Stephen Fry has all the time been fairly open about his bipolar dysfunction, however in 1993 issues took a flip for the more severe – he stole a household good friend’s credit card, and went on a spending spree. He was sentenced to a few months in jail for theft.

Mark Wahlberg

Mark Wahlberg is an upstanding member of society now, however he positively had a tough time rising up. Hooked on cocaine at 13, and concerned in a civil go well with concerning hate crimes dedicated by Wahlberg at 15, it was no shock when he was charged with the attempted murder and assault of two Vietnamese males at age 16.

He attacked Thahn Lam first, knocking him unconscious with a big picket stick whereas screaming, “Vietnam f*cking sh*t!” Later that day, he attacked Hoa “Johnny” Trihn by punching him within the face. He was sentenced to 2 years in jail, however solely served 45 days as a consequence of overcrowding.

In 2014, Wahlberg started making an attempt to get the assaults expunged from his document, claiming that he’s a distinct man now, and wish to be pardoned for his crimes.

Snoop Dogg

In 1990, Snoop Dogg was charged with felony drug possession. In April 2007, he was convicted of two felony counts of drug and gun possession by a convicted felon.

Lil Wayne

In 2007, Lil Wayne was charged with prison possession of medication and a fireplace arm, and was sentenced to 1 yr in Rikers Island. In 2008, he was charged with four additional felonies (possession of a narcotic drug on the market, possession of harmful medicine, misconduct involving weapons, and possession of drug paraphernalia) when his tour bus was stopped by Border Patrol in Arizona.

Police discovered cocaine, ecstasy, marijuana, and $22,000 of undeclared money aboard his tour bus.

Eminem

In June of 2000, Eminem was convicted for possession of a conceal weapon after he pulled an unloaded gun on Douglas Dail, who labored with the Insane Clown Posse. The subsequent day, Eminem assaulted the bouncer John Guerrera for kissing his spouse within the parking zone of the Scorching Rock Cafe. Eminem plead guilty to each fees.

50 Cent

50 Cent was charged with felony drug possession in 1994 after he tried to promote cocaine to an undercover police officer. Three weeks later, he was arrested once more when police searched his house and located heroin, crack, and a pistol. He was sentenced 3-9 years in jail for his crimes, however was allowed to serve out his sentence in a 6 month bootcamp.

In 2004, he was charged with three counts of assault and battery after leaping offstage to assault a concert-goer who threw a water bottle at him.

Mike Tyson

In 1991, Mike Tyson raped 18-year-old Desiree Washington, and was sentenced to 6 years in jail. He was launched after Three years in 1995.

Lil’ Kim

In 2005, Lil’ Kim was convicted of three counts of perjury and one depend of conspiracy after testifying in a taking pictures that was the results of a feud between her and Cunning Brown. She was sentenced to a yr in jail after she lied to guard her mates within the courtroom room.

Yasmine Bleeth

In 2001, Yasmine Bleeth and her husband have been arrested on felony drug charges when their automobile pulled off the freeway and wound up on a median on I-94. A search of their resort room and automobile produced a number of needles with cocaine residue in them, together with a number of vials of coke.

She was sentenced to 2 years of probation and 100 hours of neighborhood service.

Tim Allen

In 1978, Tim Allen was arrested for possession of of cocaine. He served 2 out of his 7 sentenced years in jail after giving up the names of different drug traffickers concerned.

Martha Stewart

In March 2004, Martha Stewart was convicted of felony charges of conspiracy, obstruction of an company continuing, and making false statements to federal investigators. She was accused of insider buying and selling after avoiding a lack of over $45ok by promoting her shares of ImClone shares.

She was sentenced to 1 yr in federal jail, and two years of supervised launch after she acquired out of jail in 2005.

Michael Vick

In 2007, Michael Vick and three others have been arrested on felony fees of operating an interstate dog fighting venue. He was accused of financing the operation, brazenly collaborating in canine fights and executions, and dealing with 1000’s of {dollars} of unlawful playing cash every battle.

Tom Sizemore

In 2003, Sizemore was convicted of assault and battery towards his then-girlfriend, Heidi Fleiss. He was sentenced to 7 months in jail for repeatedly failing – and making an attempt to pretend – his drug assessments. In 2007, whereas he was nonetheless on probation following his earlier arrest, Sizemore was discovered carrying methamphetamine exterior of a Sheridan resort.

In 2009, he was arrested once more for an excellent arrest warrant for drug fees. He turned his life round by showing on Celeb Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Christian Slater

In 1989, Christian Slater was arrested for drunk driving and assault, and was sentenced to 10 days in jail. In 1994, he was arrested for making an attempt to board an airplane with a hid weapon in his baggage. In 1997, Slater assaulted his then-girlfriend, Michelle Jonas whereas he was drunk and excessive.

He additionally assaulted a police officer that evening, which harshened his sentence to 100 days in rehab and three months of jail time.

Nick Nolte

In 1965, Nick Nolte was arrested for producing counterfeit documents. Though his sentence was suspended, he was not allowed to affix the army within the battle towards the Vietnam battle, which he felt responsible about for years.

Mick Jagger

In 1967, Mick Jagger and Keith Richards have been arrested for drug possession at a celebration at Richards’s home. They have been each sentenced to three years in jail, however the sentencing was ultimately dropped.

Robert Downey Jr.

Robert Downey Jr. was arrested several times on felony drug fees throughout the top of his drug dependancy between 1996 – 2001. In April 1996, he was arrested for possession of cocaine, heroin, and an unloaded .357 Magnum whereas rushing down Sundown Blvd. He later broke right into a neighbor’s home and fell asleep on in one of many beds.

He was sentenced to three years of probation, however sadly, he missed an appointment along with his probation officer and was sentenced to six months in LA County jail. He was arrested once more in 2001 after police discovered cocaine and Valium in his Palm Springs resort room, and was despatched to rehab and sentenced to three years of probation.

Tupac Shakur

In 1993, Tupac was charged with shooting an off-duty police officer who nearly ran over the rapper along with his automobile.

James Brown

At age 16, James Brown was convicted of theft and served Three years in juvenile jail. In 1988, he was arrested for possession of drugs and illegal weapons. He additionally served two years in jail after collaborating in a automobile chase that resulted within the police discovering medicine and weapons in his car. He assaulted the police officer that pulled him over.

James Brown was additionally arrested a number of occasions between 1987 till his dying in 2006 for home violence towards a number of of his wives and girlfriends.

Randy Quaid

In 2009 Randy and Evi Quaid have been charged with defrauding an innkeeper after failing to pay a resort invoice in Santa Barbara, however the fees have been dropped towards Randy as a consequence of lack of proof.

Randy Quaid and his spouse have been charged with felony residential burglary for dwelling in a visitor home unbeknownst to its proprietor. They claimed that that they had bought the property to Lance Armstrong, however have been nonetheless sustaining it for him, however information confirmed that it was bought to the present proprietor in 2007.

Pete Rose

Pete Rose was sentenced to five months in jail for felony tax evasion.

Rip Torn

In April 2007, Rip Torn was convicted of drunk driving after his automobile hit a tractor trailer. In 2009, he was convicted once more for driving house drunk from a bar with a Christmas Tree tied to the highest of his automobile. In 2010, he drunkenly broke in to the Litchfield Bancorp, which was in the identical constructing as his house.

He thought that he was coming into his own residence, and was discovered carrying a gun. Torn was charged with carrying a firearm without a permit, carrying a firearm while intoxicated, first-degree burglary, second-degree criminal trespassing and third-degree criminal mischief.The courtroom sentenced him to 2.5 years in jail and three years of probation.

Robert Mitchum

In 1949, Robert Mitchum was arrested for marijuana posession.

Danny Trejo

All through the 1960s, Danny Trejo was out and in of varied California jails, prisons, and juvenile detention facilities. His first arrest was at age 10 for assault and battery, and his convictions simply stored coming: drug fees, weapon fees, and assault.

Trejo cleaned up his act and acquired into present enterprise after hitting all-time low in 1998.

Chuck Berry

In 1959, Chuck Barry was arrested for statutory rape of a 14-year-old lady that he had transported throughout state traces to be a coat test lady in his nightclub. He served 1.5 years in jail for his crime, though he was initially sentenced to five years.

T.I.

T.I. was first arrested for promoting medicine at age 14. He would put on rubber bands round his wrists to point out how a lot cash he had constructed from his drug offers, which led to his nickname, “The Rubber Band Man.” In 2007, he was arrested for possession of two unregistered machine weapons and silencers, and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.

In 2009, he was sentenced to a yr in jail for federal weapon fees. After being launched from jail, T.I. and his spouse, Tiny, have been arrested on drug fees.

Allen Iverson

When Allen Iverson was 15, he was concerned in a racially-charged brawl exterior of a bowling alley. A white man slurred a racial epithet at him, and Iverson and his mates attacked. Though nobody was significantly injured, Iverson was sentenced to 15 years in jail for assault.

He managed to minimize the costs to serve solely four months, however it might have utterly derailed his basketball profession if he had been sentenced to all these years in jail. The white males concerned weren’t even arrested.

Darryl Strawberry

In 1999, Darryl Strawberry was convicted of an attempt to solicit a prostitute, who was truly a police lady in disguise. He had cocaine on him on the time of his arrest, and was sentenced to 21 months probation. In 2000, he took painkillers to alleviate the signs of the most cancers that had unfold via his lymph nodes, and blacked out whereas driving. He rear-ended one other car and tried to flee the scene. A police officer noticed the entire thing, and he was sentenced to 2 years of home arrest and probation.

In 2001, he violated his probation by leaving his home to make use of medicine. He was sentenced to 40 days in jail. At his trial, he advised a choose that he had misplaced the desire to stay, and had stopped doing chemotherapy. The choose sentenced him to hold out the remainder of his sentence in a drug therapy facility. He was arrested a number of extra occasions for comparable felony drug fees till 2005.

David Carradine

David Carradine was arrested a number of occasions all through his life for disturbing the peace and marijuana possession, however was not cost with a felony till 1974. On the top of his reputation in Kung Fu, he did a bunch of peyote, stripped bare, and determined to take a stroll round his neighborhood in Laurel Canyon.

He broke right into a neighbor’s house, bled throughout their piano, and assaulted a younger lady he had deemed to be “a witch.” Police adopted the path of blood to his house the place he was arrested and charged with mischief and assault.

Taste Flav

Taste Flav started committing crimes at age 11, when he set his personal home on fireplace. He was out and in o fail for theft and housebreaking as a youth, however managed to straighten up his act when he graduated from culinary college. In 1991, he was convicted of assaulting his then-girlfriend, and spent 30 days in jail.

In 1993, he was cost with the tried homicide of his neighbor, and spent 90 days in jail. Later that yr, he confronted drug fees for marijuana, cocaine, and home violence. In 2012, he was jailed in Las Vegas on felony charges stemming from a spat with Trujillo, throughout which Taste Flav threatened to stab her teenage son, Gibson, with a knife.

O. J. Simpson

In 2007, O.J. Simpson, together with three different males, broke right into a Las Vegas resort and stole a bunch of previous sports activities memorabilia at gunpoint. He was charged with multiple felonies, together with: prison conspiracy, kidnapping, assault, theft, and the usage of a lethal weapon.

In October 2008, he was discovered responsible of all fees, and sentenced to 33 years in jail with the potential of parole in 2017. He’s serving time within the Lovelock Correctional Heart.

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tralalady · 5 years ago

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2018 Cuco’s Valentine’s Day show with August Eve, Welfair & Vick Jagger

#Personal Mel #mi vida

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dba256pomona · 6 years ago

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stesstheemcee · 10 years ago

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Heather Victoria Co-Signs Stess The Emcee via Instagram

#Heather Victoria #Vick Jagger #Jamla #9th Wonder #Stess The Emcee #Instagram #A3C Festival #A3C #A3C10

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zibizuba · 5 years ago

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Are you stunned that so many celebrities are convicted felons? Tell us within the remark part beneath!

Invoice Cosby

Cosby is the first celebrity of the Me Too movement to be sentenced to jail.

Suge Knight

Chris Brown

Courtney Love

Stephen Fry

Mark Wahlberg

In 2014, Wahlberg started making an attempt to get the assaults expunged from his document, claiming that he’s a distinct man now, and wish to be pardoned for his crimes.

Snoop Dogg

In 1990, Snoop Dogg was charged with felony drug possession. In April 2007, he was convicted of two felony counts of drug and gun possession by a convicted felon.

Lil Wayne

Police discovered cocaine, ecstasy, marijuana, and $22,000 of undeclared money aboard his tour bus.

Eminem

50 Cent

In 2004, he was charged with three counts of assault and battery after leaping offstage to assault a concert-goer who threw a water bottle at him.

Mike Tyson

In 1991, Mike Tyson raped 18-year-old Desiree Washington, and was sentenced to 6 years in jail. He was launched after Three years in 1995.

Lil’ Kim

Yasmine Bleeth

She was sentenced to 2 years of probation and 100 hours of neighborhood service.

Tim Allen

In 1978, Tim Allen was arrested for possession of of cocaine. He served 2 out of his 7 sentenced years in jail after giving up the names of different drug traffickers concerned.

Martha Stewart

She was sentenced to 1 yr in federal jail, and two years of supervised launch after she acquired out of jail in 2005.

Michael Vick

Tom Sizemore

In 2009, he was arrested once more for an excellent arrest warrant for drug fees. He turned his life round by showing on Celeb Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Christian Slater

He additionally assaulted a police officer that evening, which harshened his sentence to 100 days in rehab and three months of jail time.

Nick Nolte

Mick Jagger

Robert Downey Jr.

Tupac Shakur

In 1993, Tupac was charged with shooting an off-duty police officer who nearly ran over the rapper along with his automobile.

James Brown

James Brown was additionally arrested a number of occasions between 1987 till his dying in 2006 for home violence towards a number of of his wives and girlfriends.

Randy Quaid

Pete Rose

Pete Rose was sentenced to five months in jail for felony tax evasion.

Rip Torn

Robert Mitchum

In 1949, Robert Mitchum was arrested for marijuana posession.

Danny Trejo

Trejo cleaned up his act and acquired into present enterprise after hitting all-time low in 1998.

Chuck Berry

T.I.

In 2009, he was sentenced to a yr in jail for federal weapon fees. After being launched from jail, T.I. and his spouse, Tiny, have been arrested on drug fees.

Allen Iverson

Darryl Strawberry

David Carradine

Taste Flav

O. J. Simpson

In October 2008, he was discovered responsible of all fees, and sentenced to 33 years in jail with the potential of parole in 2017. He’s serving time within the Lovelock Correctional Heart.

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