#viago IS coming for his job lol

[inquisimer]

I don't normally outline for oneshots but there were some glaring holes in this Arlow & Viago origin story so I was doing like a free-write sort of brainstorming

she certainly knows of the Crows - maybe asks him, are you a Crow? “Yes. Do you know what that means?” She nodded. “Are you going to kill me?” So matter of fact, seemingly unafraid except he saw the tremble of fear in her wide eyes. “Is there anyone with a lot of gold who would want you dead?” She thought for a moment. “The dockmaster, maybe.” Viago laughed. “He could not afford me. You are safe, parajito, for tonight. As for tomorrow…”

I just love them so much 😭❤️😭❤️ and this did help me flesh out why on earth Viago would all but adopt a small child so 🙏

[vaguely-concerned]

I'm fairly sure I'm less than half way through act 1, and already so much of my mental health hinges on getting to have lucanis' soft weirdly low-key voice in my ears saying absolutely insane shit and delightedly whispering 'buddy baby what'

(he genuinely does see deicide as just another part of his 9 to 5 and while not humourless in general does not understand why anyone might find this idea odd or humorous, is the best way I think I can describe his vibe. have you ever seen a man so beautiful and so autistic and also he murders people mostly politely and then goes back home and makes everyone a nutritious family dinner afterwards. add in some acute sleep deprivation and that's it that's the whole guy)

[hyperions-light]

I Cannot See How To Begin: Lucanis in the Fade Ossuary

This is the fourth in a series of posts about Spite's Ossuary. The others can be found here, here, and here.

Okay, we've FINALLY reached Lucanis, hooray! Proceeding past Illario leads you to the torture room you found in the prison, which is... where he is, which is very disturbing, implication wise.

He asks Rook why they're here, and they say they're rescuing him. He then says there's no way out of this place for him, which makes Spite angry. Spite says that Lucanis is reneging on their deal by staying here, and Lucanis says, frustrated, that he doesn't WANT to be there. Rook then elucidates that though the Ossuary was a nightmare, it was a familiar one; it was a problem that Lucanis knew how to solve, and trying to face his life with Spite, to create a new identity and deal with his trauma is much harder. Lucanis gets angry, because Rook is right (side note, Lucanis' VA did SUCH a good job here, bravo) and Spite insists that Rook force him to leave. Rook explains that it's impossible, that healing takes time, and that this version of the Ossuary is not something Lucanis can just walk out of.

Lucanis finally agrees!! That he is going to work on his fucking problems!!! Praise the Maker!! He says he just can't see a way forward, how he should begin (the animators are doing WORK here, his expression is melting me). This is very understandable, considering the amount of trauma and violation he undoubtedly experienced. Rook suggests that he and Spite make a deal, agree on something small.

As the physical manifestation of Lucanis' trauma but also an actual guy, this is great metaphorically and literally. Lucanis makes peace with the actual entity inhabiting him and begins to process his trauma by dealing with it a piece at a time.

Lucanis and Spite agree to either focus on saving Caterina or punishing Illario, with Rook's encouragement in either direction, and then they all exit the Ossuary.

WHOOOOOOO okay! Deep breaths. Get water. Just like a couple more paragraphs to go!

The Ossuary is the climax of Lucanis' mental health struggles in this game, and it was exactly what I was hoping for. Because Lucanis is traumatized and does not appear to have been particularly communicative about his feelings even before the Ossuary, he can't ask Rook for help, or tell them what's really wrong, the same way he can't directly ask Rook to come with him to plan Caterina's funeral because he needs support. Spite intervenes on his behalf, and that is the only way that he can deal with his problems. He needs to confront himself; he needs to struggle with what he is, but he can't do it alone. He needs Rook's help, and the team's help, and SPITE'S help. It's clever that you can immediately see this change upon exiting this section, when he asks Viago and Teia for their help.

Lucanis was hurt immeasurably, in so many ways, in the Ossuary. his story is about climbing out of that pit, and this quest is the first real step. Watching him struggle and trying to help him for the first part of the game is heartbreaking. He is hurting himself, but he doesn't know how to stop; he can only do what he has always done, and go back to work. Rook shows him a way out of that, here. I think it was a fantastic way to show his inner conflict without having him do something out of character, and a beautiful way to show how he starts to heal from everything.

OKAY DONE! If you made it through all of that, wowie! Thanks for reading! Go get cookies or something! I know I'm gonna. See you... sometime. This took like six hours or something, so I'm going to go do something mindless lol

[sotc]

Oh I do love a good catboy. Gimme 16, 21, and 30 for Armas, if you please

Rook questions — Armas de Riva

16: Do they have a favorite creature in the Thedas?

Should I not let my catboy be a lover a cats? Of course I should! You bet he made stops to the lil cat cafe in Minrathous when he took on some jobs there, too.

21: What is your Rook's favorite ability?

Explosive daggers and using his shortbow in mid/close quarters! A bit of a ramble but: he has a bit of a roguish flair to his combat not many would expect for someone who is a trained Crow assassin, especially under House de Riva. A sort of unconventional jack-of-all trades, master at none kind of improvisation to his fighting that keeps others on their toes (and himself tbh lol). Trust that it earned a lot of harsh disciplining and scrutiny by Viago to try and hone him into a finer edge.

He takes his work quite seriously despite appearances. He always gets the job done. He just excels in ways that are different to what Viago would demand of him and it isn't until some "gods" come threatening the entirety of Thedas does Viago kind of realize that lmao.

30: What's your favorite thing about your Rook?

I love that he's got a deceptively easygoing charm to him in direct contrast to the life he's lived as a Crow. He seems very easy to read on the surface and he wears it well. Because of that people are also quick to underestimate him and who doesn't love an underdog. :)

[qaanngi]

Adding some extra Flavour™ working out the logistics of the abundance of scars my Rook has. Initially, I thought maybe the Antaam ambush the de Riva background has, but in-game dialogue paints it going pretty well — 20:1 ratio Antaam to her, an opportune ambush, Varric being among the prisoners ready to be transported. A single Antaam dwarfs my Rook by being twice her size in height and width lol so I don't doubt they would get hits in. Chose the body scars with the huge set on the chest and abundance of back scars. And arms. And legs. I'm thinking some Antaam, or the Antaam commander got a good chest hit in enough for her to struggle or pass out once the adrenaline left and she got everyone out.

But it's more deliciously fucked up if all the very intentional back scars (because the game makes them noticeably darker than the front ones) are from the Crows. Punishment for stepping out of line. Complain as he might, maybe Viago did his best to advocate for leniency instead of death, so a brutal lashing and banishment from the whole of Antiva was the lightest he could get for her without coming off as soft/weak for the little Crow under his wing. Varric steps in to offer a job to take her out of the city, which works perfectly. Viago sends that iconic letter.

Writing home to recruit Lucanis is something Rook says is a bit rocky. Rook says she couldn't possibly disappoint the Crows more when talking with Lucanis. She brings up Viago repeatedly in conversation, but her first exchange with him when coming home is as bitter as she can fit in before it's Business as Usual.

Such a horrible, brutal system, but he is family.

[dreadfutures]

lucanis is either a mage or a mage killer (Tevinter training)

audric/Myrna, Evka/Antoine, Teia/viago, strife/company are going to be quest givers - the people who put you in touch with Emmrich, Davrin, Lucanis, and Bellara.

we'll find out about neve from connections to Dorian & mae. they're too busy doing big politics.

gonna bet we do get mentions or Zevran, Isabela, maybe Merrill in passing tho

Varric is gonna get incapacitated OR we're gonna get cut off from him (like by us being sent into the Fade or something) for the majority of the game. or maybe he'll do his viscount job lol

we will face another Magister Sidereal - probably one attached to one of the two remaining archdemons. he thinks the Evanuris coming back will be SWELL. )His shadow is in Neves portrait maybe)

theories :)

the Evanuris killed a titan and that creates the Blight but also gives them their godly powers

the Evanuris (and all elves) were spirits who could body hop. the Evanuris body hopped into biggus badass dragons

Solas sees the blight sickness spreading as well as their evil and when they kill Mythal that's that

with the idol and the orb, he sucks up the whole blight and the Evanuris and traps them and locks them in the Golden City by creating the Veil

the archdemons are the hollow dragon bodies of the Evanuris hidden away so no one else could use them? or they're Keys to keep the veil in place idk

the idol holds red lyrium and is slowly infected. hidden away for safe keeping in a thaig it spreads red lyrium

the Golden City turns black as the blight corrupts the Evanuris and the entire city

the magisters sidereal break in, become dark spawn, and bring the blight to Thedas again

when the Blight reaches the archdemons, the consciousness of a blighted elven god possesses it and wants to destroy the world bc they're just cartoonishly evil

Solas' Plan has been to tear the veil down and reshape reality to go back in time to fix everything a la In Hushed Whispers but to do that on a world scale needs immense power.

that plan no longer works without the orb, so plan two is: tear down the veil and fight the evil gods

also the veil is tearing no matter his involvement, it is ancient and falling apart

so in da4, in no particular order

we've got a double Blight on our hands

red lyrium is spreading everywhere

ghilannains monsters and "things from beyond the fade" monsters are springing up

Solas tears down the veil and idk maybe he dies but I doubt he'd die there without seeing the end of things

we go to the black city, overrun by red lyrium and dark spawn and fight the last of the evanuris

Flemeth wants to fix the world like Solas but in a different way. idk purify the world for real instead of undoing it? idk what Mythal wants

anyway bc the veil is down everyone has some magic in them. dwarves get called by a titan to connect and survive what's happening and that's how lace gets ""magic""

[gaypiratebrainrot]

Man. I have SO many thoughts about the secret fic. I am utterly fascinated. I read it all last night and want to reread to get my head around it. But just initial thoughts here:

I've seen in some of your responses to questions that it is partially an exploration of your own discomfort with RPF and that the backlash is part of the art and like - bravo. Yes. I can't help but see all of the outrage on Twitter and remember that these are the same people who:

•Harass and bully Rosie Darby constantly and screenshot/post her tweets to be mocked for the people in the fandom she has blocked

•Create and pass around nasty memes of Rita Ora

•Speculate about Rita and Taika's sex lives/assume he just uses her for sex

•Openly talk about the sex acts they'd like to do to these two actors

•Incorporate details about real actors into their fictional versions constantly

•Ship Anton/Viago because they're played by the same actors as Stede/Ed

•Draw graphic porn of these actors using references of their real bodies with their real faces

•The list goes on

And I don't bring this all up to play the blame game or justify RPF (although I think the shit with Rosie and Rita is insane and so embarrassing) because in my old age - I think I deep down am not comfortable with RPF even though I have not shaken the temptation yet. I bring this all up to say that the righteous outrage seems to be coming from a lack of self-awareness and just a lot of folks who are really clinging to the idea that their version of fandom is Right and Good. I guess my point is that I think all fanfiction/fanart/fandom is somewhere on the spectrum of invasiveness and most people refuse to accept that about their own art because we're all convinced we're the good guys in the story. And it doesn't help that this fandom seems particularly hellbent on finding bad guys.

ANYWAYS

Amazing job. Totally original and fascinating. Truly. Really proud you published it and are weathering the storm. If you need to talk about anything or are having a tough time w/ the backlash, feel free to message me <3

hi!! thank you so so much for this amazing message!! i'm so delighted that people besides me are able to appreciate the bonus meta built into the backlash, it's giving me insane brain vibes lol.

i did about fifty million meta levels of analysis on my own discomfort while writing this fic and am full of thoughts. i have no desire to say that fiction about real people is good or bad because i honestly just don't think about the world that way anymore. what i can say is that fiction about real people exists, has existed probably as long as language/storytelling, and will very likely always exist.

human beings talk about each other. we tell stories about each other. gossip is probably as essential to humanity as dance or music. it is an incredibly uncomfortable reality that every single person who knows you has a version of you in their head that you have no control over. that we all exist as our own embodied experience AND as all of the ways we are perceived. one of the more challenging aspects of being a human, i'd say.

to be a celebrity, or have any kind of audience, is to increase the number of heads you exist in, and as i am presently experiencing for the first time on a small scale between the last fic and this one, this comes with all sorts of uncomfortable, messy problems.

however, the other function of this fic is as a free speech tool. let's say we decide the uncomfortable mess of real person fiction is harmful enough to ban it from being published, either on Ao3, or within our legal system. would you ban this fic and why? and if you would ban this fic, how much of what parts would i have to change before it would be allowed? who would get to choose the "correct" answer to those questions, and who would be reading the fic and deciding whether or not it fits the "correct" guidelines? do you want to give someone else the ability to make that choice for you?

people would have been more pissed off if i'd used taika's kids actual names. but what if i'd named his kids sasha and malia obama? what if i'd used the trump kids? cause if you're banning real person fiction, all three gotta go.

ultimately, i think the parts of me that are really uncomfortable with what i've written feel like i've been horribly rude and disrespectful to the people i love, and honestly, i feel like there's some truth to that. it's just one truth among many, many, many other simultaneous truths, including my belief that the wrestling i did in writing this is important and worthwhile wrestling, and i'm absolutely ecstatic to see i was able to inflict that wrestling upon so many of you <3

[annaadamsauthor713]

What We Do in the Shadows Movie Review

Opening Thoughts

I am so excited to get to return to doing Movie Reviews! I wanted to start off with my most favorite vampire movie of all time; What We Do in the Shadows. This movie is, in my humble opinion, the overall best vampire movie ever made, and I will fill this post with my arguments for this.

Watching Thoughts (Spoiler Alert!)

Such detailed sets and costumes. Lots of love with into this. The first reason this is the overall best vampire movie is because so many different types of vampires are represented, meaning it doesn’t matter what kind of vampires you like, there’s a character in there for every vampire fan. Relate-able. I also have an extreme aversion to dishes. ‘Vampires don’t do Dishes’ is a new motto of mine. Vlad is definitely the most quotable vampire. So many hilarious lines like ‘I was known as Vladislav the Poker.’ I LOVE the opening music in this. Another great thing I love about this movie is the human emotion these vampires seem to explode with. Ah yes, gotta have the sweet vampire x human love story for those romance lovers. Perfectly punctuated with an awkward trumpet. Something that people like to try to hide is the fact that vampires are awkward. By removing all humor, most vampire movies come off as waaaay too hoity-toity. This movie doesn’t take itself so seriously that they can’t make us laugh and enjoy the story they are telling us. They also make fun of the trope that vampirism makes you immediately a hunk or babe. A Trope which I think is a damaging thing. It keeps vampires boring and gate-kept. Where’s my cleft lip vampires? My midget vampires? Vampires with acne scars? Vampires who aren’t the hottest hottie hot who ever hotted hot? What We Do in the Shadows doesn’t have a glass ceiling saying who can and can’ be a part of the hellish legions. I would like a more in-depth look into the media of this universe. If they can find a vampire feeding on a man in the street, what is daily life for humans like there other than needing door-men to keep vampires out of the bar? Why are humans still in town? Does the vampire hunter that comes in later get paid? Is that is day job? And is Anne Rice a vampire in this universe? (Jackie named her daughter Akasha so we have to assume Anne Rice was still famous but was she still human?????) Ah, pedo hunter. That is one of the jobs I would love to have if I was a vampire. Clean up those streets! How does Jackie’s hubby feel about his wife having a master? Viago is a wonderful vampire but I find his method of finding prey to be the creepiest of the flat-mates. He reminds me of the boys who would pretend to like you while they orchestrated how to get you in bed. Every moment had a motive, and no matter what you said about your wants or needs, he’s going to take what he wants. Especially in modern times, vampires are a way to hide our sexuality in fiction, and the manipulative undertones of the romantic vampire did not escape my notice. Peter moves so smoothly through the window all I can imagine is him being pushed on a skateboard to get that silhouette. Which makes me laugh every time. The dinner scene is my favorite. Absolutely hilarious notes on virginity, mispronunciation of spaghetti, a great and blatant theft from the Lost Boys, and some really great special effects. By far the funniest scene in the movie. Not to mention, it runs into the best dance sequence of all time lol. Deacon and I would be best buds. As you may end up noticing in my novels, I am HERE for vampire turning scenes. I love how different it is for every story and even every vampire. Such a personal and extreme experience. I love it. When I was a kid I loved the idea that vampires can fly, but now that I am an adult I can only accept it if vampirism is a magical infection, not a scientific one. Luckily, these vampires can do all kinds of magic tricks so it’s fine and doesn’t bother me. Stew tickles me pink. He’s so confused. What would a modern vampire story be without the dance club? Sad and without dancing, that’s what. What is the point of living forever if you don’t truly enjoy the arts? I like the idea that the arts move vampires differently than people because it is the only way they can truly connect to humans, and their eternal lives allow them to have deeper layers of emotions that are stroked by artistic immersion. We even get a little vampires vs werewolf action for those who like that enemy dynamic (even though vampires and werewolves are rooted in the exact same myths, let them keep imagining this fight. Says a lot about the nature of humans to fight the self.) If a lion can be friends with a gazelle when not starving, so can a vampire be friends with a person, and I am here for it. Go Stew. Deacon and Nick are so similar in the root of who they are. Deacon is jealous of Nick and Nick is jealous of Stew. Deacon is just older and more careful. I would be a terrible vampire. People already grow up too fast around me while I sit in my house in dark rooms lol. My human pets would die left and right while I just kinda lost sense of time. Enter the other reason this movie is so good. Up until now it has been very funny with a few moments of gore and questionable morality. But now we get to see some sadness, which no vampire movie should be without. This movie balances humor with some gut wrenching scenes, like here where Nick can’t eat his favorite food anymore. They take a funny puking scene and make it sad and relate-able. The romance of vampires is stripped in this movie and they are shown for us for what they truly are or can be if we just let them; complex, strange, sat monsters that can hold our secret human feelings. Vampires help us explore humanity, sexuality, and mortality. They are our fears and our desires. They are us. Death is what all vampires truly embody. Our fear of death and the inevitability of it. Our desire to live forever no matter the cost, and the horrid truth that no matter how long you live, the sun will find you one day. The head blur was a good and simple trick to simulate turning a head 180 degrees. Even the vampires reacting to a house visit from the police is relate-able. ‘You will not notice anything out of the ordinary,’ she said under her breath, scooting the bong under the couch with her foot. They are very good at softening very sad scenes with humor, and toning down funny scenes with sadness, another thing many vampire movies struggle to do. I would have loved a little promo pamphlet of Wellington Vampire Laws. I would have read that shit out of that. We all have our Beasts, lol. I love that the ball is held in just some rental hall like a regular ol wedding or something. Not in a cemetery or an old gothic hall. Nope, there’s finger sandwiches and banners. I wish they would have touched on the fact that they treat witches as inhuman? I wanna know more. Again, vampires embody our fear of death, which includes our fear of age. It is inevitable, that as you age, you will outlive your friends, or they will outlive you. No one escapes without losing someone. Vampires allow us to face and figure out that fear a little bit (hopefully) before it happens to us and our loved ones. Loss is universal. No vampire movie could contend for overall best without exploring loss and how it deeply effects our lives. And we can’t feel loss without first feeling love. Loss and love are at the heart of what a vampire needs to touch our hearts. Without it they are just monsters. But a perfect movie wouldn’t end on a sour or somber note, in my opinion, and What We Do in the Shadows delivers a lovely and light-hearted wrap-up to the best vampire movie ever made.  

Closing Thoughts

It doesn’t matter what kind of vampire fan you are, whether you’re an Anne Rice fan, only like pre-1900’s vamps, a fan of the vamp vs wolf stories, or a twi-hard, you have something for you in this movie. If you like romance, or the chase, or drama, or comedy, you have something for you here. If you like theater art or music, this movie has lots of special effects, acting tricks, and amazing music. It explores deep themes while never losing the pace of humor. It has adult jokes but not so many you couldn’t show it to your mom. And the credits aren’t boring, filled with more scenes and great jams. Leave a comment, reblog, or send me an ask and tell me; what do you think is overall the best vampire movie ever made. Do you agree with me or do you have something else in mind?

[jalopeura]

so caterina is like ok so this 'rook' guy (she knows his name is lily but idk if she would grace him by calling him by his actual name) has a lot of influence on my grandson AND the demon inside of him-- (lilys a mourn watch guy whos been able to hear spirits since he was a baby, so he can converse with spite in a similar way to how emmrich does) --and i dont like that it makes it harder to control lucanis. ill send someone to kill him.

and obviously the poor crow who ends up getting the job fails (though for maximum angst i DO think they should draw a good amount of blood. AND have a poisoned blade or something)

and maybe the crow gets caught or not, either way it does take a few days of somewhat serene almost-dying (lily) and extremely frantic worrying (lucanis) and Actual Competence (teia, viago). but still, somehow they find out caterina was behind it and spite iS LIVID and like ready to KILL her, like in the same room wings and daggers out, probably barely restrained by several SEVERAL guards of caterinas, something like that. and lilys gotta talk him down which DOES NOT ALLEVIATE caterinas worries about how much control he has over lucanis/spite. anyway spite leaves for a bit and lets lucanis talk to caterina and hes very angy as well ofc (the ONE good thing in his life, the ONE person he has ever loved, how fucking DARE she try to take that away from him)

(i think lily probably sits it out bc hes aware caterina sees him as a threat so like, hes not gonna influence lucaniss decisions on this one (ALSO he sits it out bc hes been poisoned. and possibly has some long-term or even lifelong side effects from that. idk i just think my rook should get to be chronically disabled in multiple ways but still be a badass))

and thats how lucanis Very Forcefully gives up his place as first talon and also kind of tells caterina to fuck off. (arguably this is just business as usual for the dellamortes by now, what with their family being the way it is). (i think viago ends up being the next first talon but this aint about him)

ANYWAY the ACTUALLY IMPORTANT part comes in the aftermath, lucanis is staying at lilys tinysmall apartment in nevarra city and theyre both so tired from the yelling and the crying and the almost dying they pretty much crash out. but then lily wakes up in the middle of the night to his face feeling really sticky and being poked by spite

and hes like hey What are you doing? and spite is like. you havent put honey on your face in DAYS. even THOUGH. you do that every day. so I AM DOING IT.

(-- this is something weve established lily does every night, a honey-aloe vera-whatever lotion & massage to help with his burn scarring, and lucanis has also done for/with him previously --)

and lilys like. okay. be gentle though. small soft rubbing motions. and he closes his eyes and relaxes and lets spite do this thing

except. then spite fucking DIPS, for no apparent reason?? and lucanis wakes up to a lily with face covered in honey (which, i repeat, is not actually what he usually uses for this, he has a special lotion for it). and its fine, lucanis finishes the massage and they both get a good nights sleep.

and the POINT. of this is that that moment of selflessly, gently caring for another was when spite had a Feelings Realization (though idk if hed have the words for what happened, yet) and also was so out of character for spite he had to retreat and do a wholeass life re-evaluation. (he does eventually figure it out though, with the help of. several people probably. i think he might even go ask some of the rivaini spirits for help lol. the poor guys so out of his depth)

and then they all lived happily ever after or something, idk, whatever

i think caterina trying to have lucanismancer rook killed some time postgame would be sooo juicy

[meggannn]

tevinter nights spoilers

favorite stories:

Horror of Hormak — fantastically creepy, loved it. if there are eleven other mountains like hormak out there as implied, then thedas is truly fucked lol

Luck in the Garden — I liked this a lot for no other reason than it had a great “horror lucking underground” vibe 

Wigmaker Job — another creepy one this time featuring Crows on a job to kill a magister. I think these two Crows are likely to show up again because they’re both attractive (presumably single) men and would be great LI options

Eight Little Talons — did anyone ask for a murder mystery dinner party featuring the elite Antivan Crow houses? no? WELL HERE YOU GO ANYWAY

liked:

Callback

Murder by Death Mages

Streets of Minrathous

Harold Had the Plan — ngl this one was just okay but then i got to the end when bharv cradled elim’s body the whole night hoping the amulet would resurrect her.... THAT SHIT HURT

Dread Wolf Take You — solas dresses up and wears a wig and tries to eavesdrop on a meeting to figure out what his old friends think about him. the dread wolf went shopping for a wig because people definitely made fun of him for it. every person at skyhold who ever roasted solas for his baldness is braver than the us military

okay

Down Among the Dead Men — i didn’t find this one as interesting as i think some people did

Genitivi Dies in the End

An Old Crow’s Old Tricks

Half Up Front — i dont remember if we ever got the speaker’s name, but she took on “a pavus job” that i think implies dorian asked her to steal something but she failed. i wonder if that will come back into play

disliked

Three Trees to Midnight

Hunger

bolded are the stories that i feel like have characters that are likely to show up in DA4 as either companions or maybe side characters... I was expecting a lot of these stories to be about Tevinter but surprisingly a lot were about Antiva and Nevarra, and at least three were about the Crows. Dorian is almost definitely coming back, Varric was referenced in at least three different stories so we know he still has his fingers in some shit, and there are slight references to Fenris and Zevran, so I think they have a chance at cameoing as well.

Eight Little Talons notes (probably my favorite story):

if we don’t see viago again i will riot, he was great. i love how it’s subtly slipped in that he’s a bastard son. no reason for it. just fun alistair vibes

this story was pretty much Tevinter Nights: Some Crows Deserve Rights, basically. i hate knowing that zev is trying to kill everyone in this organization now lmfao i don’t want him to go after some of the characters in this collection. zev you can kill all of the crows you want honey except these ones that i like, okay

a friend mentioned that with the arainai talon dead, maybe zev could come back to the crows and fill the role....? 👀👀👀 as if he’d ever rejoin the crows again lol idk

Dread Wolf Take You notes:

our first time seeing the people across the ocean! and then of course solas fucking kills them and then everyone else in the stupid room, like thanks dude, if i had any doubt you don’t give a shit about any life other than the elves....

i kind of laughed at this passage because we absolutely know all of these characters and the POV character doesn’t, but THEN i realized after i finished the story that this is from solas’s pov.... meaning that he doesn’t recognize any of these people aside from divine victoria! and if he doesn’t know them, and the ending lead-in line from DAI was “we’ll find people he doesn’t know”...... could Isabela, Sebastian, Tallis, and the Warden make appearances?

anyway end post

[izzy-b-hands]

10 Characters I would Kiss

Tagged by @lieblinggs and @freebooter4ever, sorry it took me a bit to get back to y’all on this! I’m playing catch up on the stuff I was tagged in tonight lol. Fair warning, this is just me dragging myself for being Gay and having The Silliest Character Crushes Ever Known. 

Note that any Pacific characters listed here are referring to the dramatized TV character versions of the folks. 

also under a cut because I’m a wordy motherfucker, hopefully it works right on mobile this time!

1. Johnny Gat because have you seen Daniel Dae Kim? If they ever make a life action Saints Row film, and make a healthy poly love story arc with The Boss, Johnny, and Aisha, and want to cast absolute nobodies for The Boss I will literally yeet my audition tape from my home to Hollywood so that it lands exactly on the desk of the casting director for the film. 

2. Elliot Alderson because...Rami cute and I weak...also I will make it my goal to take him on a date with no wild shit going on. Nothing to hack, just movies to watch and relaxing. 

3. Deputy who is then Ex-Deputy So & So from Sinister and Sinister II and yes that is really how his character is listed on every cast list I can find. I love Sinister II especially, and while it is meant to be a scary movie, I spend most of it going “how are you so adorable, please don’t die” at him even though I already know how the movie ends

4. Lord Elrond because look, when I was like, 9, I saw Lord of the Rings and had my first Gay Panic before I even had my gender shit properly figured out (at the time I just knew I was attracted to him in not the same way the girls in my friend group at school were), and that has never subsided. I would be a useless elf in Rivendell, both because I’m much too short to reach anything there but also because I’d spend ninety percent of my time admiring how nice Hugo Weaving looks in that costume.

5. Eugene Sledge because again...I have my Types and Joe hits one of them so...y’all know...the more I elaborate on some of these the more I absolutely drag myself and like...this is gonna be rough already

6. Teddy Smith from Legend. I know he’s a gangster. I’m aware that is potentially a very bad and dangerous situation. But he’s played by Taron, and also I already have Johnny on this list so why not?

7. Dream from the Sandman comics because if this kiss and why not, potential first date situation, goes well, then I’m dating a very powerful and cute concept personified, and since I’m also an insomniac this potentially turns out quite well for me.

8. Viago from What We Do In The Shadows. Platonic, a kiss on the cheek before we immediately start playfully shit-talking his flatmates while arranging the performance of a memorial musical based on Petyr’s life that we will write together. 

9. Along similar lines, Guillermo from the TV version of What We Do In The Shadows. He’s a sweetheart who deserves someone who will take him out for a date that’s just a nap. Literally just a nap, because he’s up all day and all night being a familiar. He needs a break, and I am more than happy and willing to be the one arguing with vampires that he deserves that break. I mean I’ll probably die at that point, but c’est la vie. 

10. Okay I’m counting Freddie in all and any Queen music videos as a character here because apparently therapy has done way too good of a job kicking me out of the habit of finding a lot of characters romantically appealing. Obviously he’s a real person, but also that’s a big motivation behind everyone else listed here except for seven so...and wait no...that’s just my old crush on Neil Gaiman from high school coming through actually. If it is possible to fail doing one of these lists, then I think I kind of did lmao. I tried asldkfa.

Tagging anyone who wants to do this because the Sunday Blues just hit me like a freight train so I am metaphorically lying on the floor rn and not capable of much. If you wanna do this, go for it and say I tagged ya! 

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