#vet got back to me and it's her liver -- all of her levels are through the roof

[queen-mabs-revenge]

cat's at the vet and they're keeping her for the day and i don't have the energy to go into detail but i'm in some kind of fugue state i think

[ozma914]

Poking Through Another Medical Week

I started out last week in something of a good mood, because I finished the third draft of Smoke Showing and then took the preliminary steps toward writing a novel involving the Land of Oz--a project close to my heart that I've been planning in my head for years.

Then the week turned into one of those Medical Weeks. You know the ones I mean: When for a certain period of time everything that happens seems to be health related, usually in a bad way.

Starting from worst, my uncle and my grandmother both fell and broke their hips, and as I write this both are scheduled for surgery today. For my grandmother it was supposed to be yesterday, but they couldn't transfer her to the hospital where the operation will be done because all their beds were full.

You knew the coronavirus was going to pop up here, somewhere.

So everything after that is pretty minor. In fact, very minor, and begging to be made fun of, although sometimes even I'm not in a fun-making mood. It's just that it all happened at the same time.

I got poked by needles four times, for instance, but that doesn't really count because I get two regular allergy shots, anyway. The third was a routine flu shot, so only the fourth--my annual blood draw--led to anything worse than a little soreness.

Besides, one needle was a withdrawal and three were deposits, so doesn't that count as a net gain?

The first day saw the two allergy shots and the blood draw, which my employer has done so they can shake judgemental fingers at me. I had a feeling about the results, so I downed a half gallon of ice cream between then and the follow up ... I figured it was likely to be my last guilt-free food treat ever.

Two days later, we took our dog Beowulf to the vet to get his ear infection looked at, so that counts as one. He's been walking sideways with one ear drooped over, and no, I don't share booze with him. Last time I walked that way was after two strawberry daquiris. (I'm a lightweight. Well, in that way, I am.)

Left ear, the one under the dump trunk.

He's doing a lot better.  Yesterday he had enough energy to dig his nails into my left big toe, so for awhile I was walking just like him.

Where was I? Oh, yes, the chiropractor. As usual, my vertebrae were trying to pass each other on a curve, but she pounded them back into submission.

Then came the flu shot, which was entirely uneventful as shots go. My wife and I were together for those last two, because it's important to experience pain as a family.

We closed out the week with a follow up at the doctor's office, where I mentioned two strange little bumps on my left hand that didn't really seem worth mentioning. Turns out they might be the beginning of a condition that can lead to the inability to use that hand without surgical intervention and GAH! I've always had a fear of not being able to type. Talk to text just isn't the same, because the whole reason I started typing to begin with is because I can't speak.

Oh, and also I'm fat.

But you already knew that, and thanks for being polite. The doc didn't actually say so, in so many words. She said my cholesterol was going through the roof, I had a fatty liver, and my PSA levels took a huge jump. Since two out of three of those things mean I'm fat, I took it that way. The third had to do with my prostate, so I guess another visit to Doctor Finger is in my future.

Prostate cancer is one of the cancers that's more common in firefighters, so of course I'm going to have it checked, but I'm not too worried ... and there's nothing I can do about it, anyway. Doctor finger will poke around until he digs out the problem.

Weighing 233 pounds is whatI can do something about.

First I took all the stuff out of my pants pockets, then I cut my hair, and finally I bought a cheaper pair of shoes, so I'm already down to 232.

No. Just--NO.

Other than that, it's the same old story: Eat less, exercise more, make better food choices. My goal is to lose around five pounds a month, then maintain it somewhere below 200. The timing couldn't be worse, as I've gained weight during winter all my life, and the holidays don't exactly help. But losing weight might also help my back problems, and I'm starting to think my chiropractor enjoys causing me pain.

Anyway, that was my medical week. If I read back through this I'd probably feel ashamed of myself for whining, and delete most of it. Then I'd have to find something else to blog about, so hang the edits! I'm going back to my story outlining.

Maybe a trip down the Yellow Brick Road will shave off some pounds.

Oh, you'll heard more about my new project later.

http://markrhunter.com/

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

[darkanddirtyknb]

PERSONAL UPDATE

Hi my lovelies, I haven't given you an update in a long time so I wanted to take this time to fill you in on some stuff that's been going on in my life. I'm still where I'm at in terms of my medical health diagnosis but some things have gotten worse. My balance has worsened and I actually fell the other day and got bruised up pretty badly. My thinking has slowed and I've been struggling much more than usual to remember things. I've also been breaking out in various rashes all over my body. Oh and the insomnia I've had is unbelievable and nothing is helping with it. I haven't slept properly in two months. I'm lucky if I get three hours a night. The most frustrating thing about all of this is that quite a few of my doctors are just giving up on me. I'm trying to find a couple of new ones but I only have so many options with my insurance and I can't afford to pay out-of-pocket. I'm supposed to have a biopsy done through a dermatologist but I can't even get the office to call me back. I've been dealing with this for over a month. My rheumatologist doesn't want to deal with me until I have that done, which would have been understandable if my condition had remained the same but it hasn't. She's also developed a sort of attitude with me because I can't afford the medication she's prescribed. me. She acts as if I'm beneath her because I don't come from money. I see a new endocrinologist next month to see if I can get my Hashimoto's under better control. I also went to the eye doctor yesterday and was told that I failed my field vision test (badly), with and without glasses. However, the good thing—if you can call it that lol—is that with my hemiplegic migraines this isn't so concerning. Still, my eyes have changed again and I had to put out $400 for new glasses. The testing I had done was incredibly expensive and my prescription calls for special details because of my migraines and photosensitivity. So that's going to hurt me, a lot. I've been battling some mental issues too. I haven't always had the best relationships with my family members and some things have been said behind my back are coming to light that are making things hard to ignore. I've dealt with enough negativity in my life, so when people talk shit behind my back I have a hard time putting up with it. However, causing rifts right now isn't something I want to do. That being said, it's still not easy hearing that you're unwanted and a burden, more or less. I've reached a point in my life—which I'm sure you guys living with illness can relate to—where I'm feeling hopeless. I'm fighting to keep my head up each day but it's been tough. I just feel like I'm getting sicker and sicker and without a proper diagnosis (and no treatment) I'm worried about my future. I'm not even getting pain relief from the strong prescriptions I've been given and being in pain every day gets really hard. Lastly, the thing that's been the hardest is the health of my dog. For those of you who know me a bit better than others, you know that my dog is the center of my world. He means literally everything to me and I can't even think about the day that I'll be without him. Lately he's been having some issues with his phosphorus and liver levels. Three months ago they went from being high to doubling (in three months), which is really alarming. He had an ultrasound done at that time and was put on a medication to see if it would bring his numbers down. It didn't. He was just retested and they've gone up again. He had a liver bile test done which showed that his liver is working but now the vets want to do a liver biopsy. I am going to wait three more months and have him rechecked for the fourth time and see how much they've jumped this time (hopefully not at all). The vet said that waiting three more months won't hurt anything. I just can't put him through a biopsy right now, I don't want to do it to him unless he absolutely has to have it done. If he does, I don't know how I'm going to afford it. It's a really expensive test and after my eye exam and glasses, I'm wiped. I'm just trying to figure out how to make it through each day right now. I'm taking things one day at a time but it's been rough. My stress levels are through the roof and I'm starting to feel it. I'm not looking for pity or trying to make anyone feel bad for me. I'm not trying to whine about my problems. I just want to give you guys some insight to what's been going on. I've been trying to write more, not only for my followers, but so I can save up for whatever comes next. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things are going to get better but it's been hard when it feels like it's always something. Thanks for taking the time to read this! I love you all. Thanks for being my family and for your constant support!

[iwatchanimeoccasionally]

Alright so, here is the story of Larry (under the read more in case anyone doesn’t want this) 

PS this took me 1.5 hours to write and it is about 4.5 thousand words long. I don’t know what I was expecting, but damn. 

Sunday, I had the day off and had no plans so Larry was free-roaming from when I got up to about 7 in the evening and she was acting normal that entire time, when I switched her out for Nebula. Around 12:30 AM I went upstairs to give them all their supper and let Deku have her chance at free-roam before I went to bed, which she never takes so she just gets an hour with her cage open before I go to sleep. Immediately, I could tell something was wrong with Larry when she was huddled in her litter box and didn’t perk up and come check her hay when I put it in her feeder and jump up to see me. I called out for her a couple times, thinking maybe she was just sleeping really soundly, but still, she barely flicked an ear in my direction. I went ahead and finished feeding the other pets first, wanting to make sure everyone was taken care of before I could give 100% of my attention to Larry.

Finally, everyone was fed and watered, and Larry still wasn’t even acknowledging that I was feeding her when I gave her pellets, which she has always been super excited for. So I went in her cage, which I try to avoid doing because all rabbits would much rather come to you than have you in their personal space. I reached out to pet her, and she just let me. Might not seem like a huge thing if you don’t own rabbits or don’t know how mine are, but normally if she’s in her litter box and decide to pet her without her asking for it first, she will lunge and grunt at me. So, now I have a couple red flags being set off and scaring me. 

Already feeling the tears burning my eyes, I try to pick her up. Again, no fight. She just let me. Never happens. She likes being held sometimes, but never does she let me get in her cage and pick her up from her litter box without a fight! That is her sacred alone space that I shouldn’t be allowed to pet her in, let alone lifting her. So now I’m fully crying and taking her into my mom’s room because there is something deeply wrong with my baby and it’s nearly 1 AM at this point in a small town, so I don’t know what to do. I go in and just sob out, “There’s something really wrong with Larry.” 

Now, even with others cohabiting with her, I am the only one who really knows Larry. I mean, yeah, other people know some of her mannerisms and know that she is amazing and love her. But there is not a single person in this world who knows all about her like I do. So I’m blown off a little bit, Mom thinking that she might just be really tired or in a funny mood today. She has me put Larry on her bed to see how she acts, and she’s alert, moving around a little bit, but now anywhere near her normal activity levels. (meanwhile Alek is just wondering what the hell is going on because she’s not supposed to be in there, that’s his space, but he’s still nervous enough around her that he wouldn’t dare get close) I explain that she’s not eating, or expressing any interest in her food, and Mom’s first thought is, “Did you try giving her a bit of banana to see if she’ll eat that?”

Of course I hadn’t done that. The thought did very briefly cross my mind, but I immediately brushed it off because, fun fact, if your rabbit is having stomach issues it’s not really the best idea to give them sugar, which is enough to mess up their GI tract if handled poorly on a good day. But I go with it, run downstairs to get a banana to let her have a tiny bite of. When I go back upstairs, she’s acting mostly alert and immediately eats a bit of the fruit with no fight. Which seemed to put my mom’s mind to rest, but not mine. Because this isn’t normal and what if I just made it worse.

After expressing my concerns, I’m urged to just go back to bed and if she’s not back to normal in the morning, I can just call out from work and we’ll take her to the vet. So, Larry and I go back to my room and I put her back in her cage, where she immediately goes back to her litter box. I offer to hand feed her some pellets and sunflower seeds (black oil, the only kind they can have in moderation), neither of which she has ever been known to turn down. This time, though, she has 0 interest. She doesn’t even want to smell them. So I sit there for a while, still in tears, wondering what I can do for her. 

Then I remember that I have critical care! So I go downstairs to grab that, assuming this is all a case of stasis, which is terrible but supposedly manageable if you catch it in time and get your rabbit on critical care until you can go to the vet. I also grab her favorite treat, which is just made of compressed hay so I figure it won’t hurt her to have if she’s willing to eat it. When I get back upstairs, I pull Larry out again and we hang out on my bed, where I try to spoon feed her critical care because I don’t have a syringe so that’s the only way I can mange. She has zero interest, and when I try to put it on a piece of banana, she just eats what little banana she can get without critical care on it. But we hang out for a while, her mostly just laying in one spot and ignoring me. Until finally she gets tired of being there and decides it’s time to get back to her litter box. 

Back in her cage, I let her just lay there and sit as close as I think I can without feeling like I’m going to stress her out when she gets a bit closer to normal. For the next several hours we just sit there. I sing to her for a while, starting with her favorite song, as that’s something that usually calms her. 

Finally, 7 AM rolls around and I have been sobbing off and on for the pas 6.5 hours and she’s still not better. So, I leave her alone for a minute and go back to my mom, updating her on the situation and letting her know that we need to go to the vet (she’s driving because I’m not super comfortable driving on a good day, let alone when I’m crying myself sick over Larry). Of course, she tells me to call them and oops, I got times mixed up in my panic and exhaustion so they’re not even open for another hour. 

Still though, she’s taking me seriously and gets up to get ready. I call work while she’s in the bathroom. My newest coworker answers the phone and I didn’t even think to ask for a manager or anything, I’m just immediately off with, “Something’s really wrong with Larry and I’m not coming in today because I’m going to try to take her to the vet and even if they don’t have time for her, I can’t work when she’s like this. Oh yeah, Larry’s my rabbit, I don’t know if I’ve told you that before.” 

“Ok, so, you want me to tell *manager’s name* for you?”

Slight pause on my part as I realize I should’ve asked if she was working before I tell her to please do that for me. 

Eight come by finally, and the second the clock turns I’m dialing the vet. She offers me an 11 or I can bring Larry in sooner and they can work on her between appointments. I ask how soon, and she says I can come in as soon as possible, so of course I go with that option. 

By 8:15 we’re at the vet’s office and I’m checking her in. Larry’s already pulled up on the computer even though I never gave my name over the phone, so she’s well known enough there that they were able to find her without anything more than her name and species, and that makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy inside even through all the terror and panic. 

The vet asks a couple questions: what exactly is going on with her, how long has she been like this, was she normal on saturday(which my sleep deprived brain had a really hard time figuring out wasn’t just yesterday anymore), what do I normally feed her, those sorts of things. He also asked if he had permission to do x-rays and/or bloodwork if need be and I am just flabbergasted that he asked, replying with, “Do whatever it takes to help her.” He also tells me that cancer can sometimes cause those symptoms, and I immediately freak out because what am I gonna do if she has cancer? We’re out and on our way back home by 8:30, and surprise surprise, I cried through her check-in and all the way home. 

The next couple hours and a blur of stress and terror and anxiety as I try to convince myself that she’s not dying. 

At 10:20 the vet calls. He ended up taking x-rays and thinks her stomach and intestines are extremely full so he’s just going to give her fluids and monitor her for a while to see if she’s able to pass whatever blockage there may be on her own. I mentioned then that she was molting like crazy and I was having a hard time keeping up with brushing, so it might be her fur as I know that’s common with rabbits, and the doc agrees that may be it. We hang up then with a promise for him to call me back with more information in a couple hours.

1:50 comes and my concern is creeping in enough that I can’t keep fighting it off, so I call them back to see how she’s doing. The vet then tells me that he sent the x-rays off to a specialist to see what she thought and she told him that those were normal levels of fullness and that now it might be her liver so he needs to do bloodwork.  The tests were almost done when I called, so he said he’d call me back in about ten minutes when they finished.I’m already freshly terrified and breaking down because what if it is her liver? What then? 

20 minutes later, he calls back with bad news.  

I don’t remember what, exactly, the numbers were or what they were for, but one was about 4x what it was supposed to be and another was about double. This made the specialist think that she had a flipped liver lobe, which is apparently common in rabbits. What that means, though, is that she needs emergency surgery as soon as possible. He tells me the risks; he’s never done that surgery on a rabbit before, the specialist only does about 5 a year and has about a 60-80% success rate, surgery is already risky for rabbits, and it absolutely has to be done tonight. He then says that he’d really like to give it a shot and would do his very best for her if I chose to have him do it. Also said was the fact that I’d have to drive 2.5 hours in July in Iowa to get to the specialist, and I don’t know if you know this, but rabbits don’t do well with heat. And if we went to the specialist, they’d probably charge $1,000-$2,000 while he would only charge about $400 since it’d be a lot more risky to do such an experimental surgery with him. 

I am fully sobbing, crouched in on myself and guttural sobs wracking my body on the front porch when I hang up with him, having asked for 10 minutes to make some calls and come to a decision. Which was never really a decision anyway because she couldn’t handle that drive, I couldn’t pay the price, and the risks are still too high to go to the specialist. Really, I’m mainly just taking a second to break down and call my mom before I tell this man, who has never even met my baby before this incident, to do an extremely risky procedure on my baby, my entire world. 

When I talk to my mom, she offers to come home from work to be with me.After calling the vet back and leaving a message for her doctor to call me back, I go back inside to update the rest of my family and my grandma asks if I’m going to the vet to see her. I hadn’t even thought that was an option so I perk up a little and call my mom back to see if she would take me. Apparently, she had already assumed we were doing that. I’m still freaking out, but i feel a little better that I’ll be able to see her at least. While I wait for her to get to the house, I call my boss to let her know that I’d be missing Tuesday as well. I’m mostly composed when she answers, but as soon as she knows it’s me, she asks if I’m ok.

Of course, the answer is no and I start crying again when I answer. “So, Larry’s not ok?” And my boss is a good woman, I can hear the concern in her voice and she is completely ok with me missing another day when I explain the situation to her and let her know that there is no way I’m coming in tomorrow. Right when I’m hanging up, my mom pulls up and we’re off to the vet for the second time that day.

Just as we get there and let the person at the counter know we’re there for Larry, the vet calls me back and I let him know that I’m already there and that he had good timing. I can hear him echoing from the hallway and am no prepared for any of this.

He ushers us into a conference room then for some privacy. I immediately say, “If you can tell me that there are any odds of her surviving, I’ll let you do her surgery.” Being a doctor, he obviously responded with the risks and not promising anything, apparently thinking I wanted a promise that she’d live. All I wanted was a guarantee that she wasn’t doomed. The risks were still the same as before, and I was getting a little tired of hearing it all repeated back to me. 

Then I ask to see her, still half expecting to be told no, but he seemed to think that was the natural next step. So he started leading us back to her and he warned me that she was wearing a cone of shame because she had an IV for fluids and she kept trying to chew it out, which I actually was able to laugh at a little because that is so Larry of her. He also goes over her numbers with my mom because I sure didn’t pass along any information that I didn’t deem crucial. 

We get to her and she’s huddle in the back of the kennel, pissed off to have the cone on. The vet warns me not to let her jump out before he opens the door for me, and I’m in there like a rocket, petting her and talking to her and crying. I don’t remember everything I said to her, but I do know I said the following, “Please don’t die, you’re my entire world, you can’t die now,” “Be strong for me and get through this surgery like a champ,” “I love you so so much,” “I’m sorry you don’t feel good,” “I can’t do this without you, I love you so much, please be strong for me.”

Mom talked to her too, apparently telling her she can’t die because she doesn’t think I could go on if she did. 

We talked to the vet a bit more once we closed the kennel, my mom breaking down because she thought the number he gave me was for everything so far and the surgery would be $1000 and we can’t afford that. But he quickly assured us it wouldn’t be that expensive and it was the range he gave earlier, which I could handle. 

I also asked if this was something I did wrong, which it wasn’t, and if those numbers could happen in hours or if I had somehow missed signs for days, which I hadn’t. So, even though I was still completely broken, I at least felt a tiny bit of selfish relief that I hadn’t done anything wrong. 

Before I talked to her for the last time before leaving, I asked if she would have to stay overnight, which was a definite yes and he thought she might even have to stay the next night as well. He also let us know that it would be a few hours before he called again about how it went. 

The next couple hours, I’m so on edge, but I’m temporarily out of tears to cry after the first ten minutes or so of being home and updating my sister, who had been at work all day and just got home. Mom went back to work then, as well, since my sister was home and she knew I had company that would keep me from going too dark in my mind. 

At 5:10 I wander away from my phone for one minute, thinking the ringer would be loud enough to call me back if I got the call. 

At 5:11, I check my phone and see that I missed a call from the vet. 

At 5:12 I call back to see what’s up and get sent to the after hours answering service.

At 5:13 I notice I have a voicemail.

“Hi, this is Dr. *name* from *vet clinic name*. I’m just calling to let you know that Larry’s surgery went well and she’s awake.”

Immediately, I’m crying again, but finally it’s from happiness and relief rather than fear and an aching sadness. 

I call my mom right away and tell her the good news, crying all the while and ecstatic at finally having good news to share. 

I don’t remember then if I called them and requested the on-call vet or if he called me, but I was soon on the phone with the vet with him telling me the good news yet again. I thank him profusely and he asks if they could post pictures of Larry on their facebook page because they like doing that sometimes, which I wouldn’t have refused even if I didn’t love sharing pictures of Larry almost as much as I love her. 

Despite my relief, I miss Larry all evening and sleep is hard that night without her in the room.

The next morning, I get a call at 9:10 that Larry is alert and ready to come home! I shoot out of bed and we’re at the vet’s for her within 15 minutes. I open the carrier as soon as they bring her out, and she’s already trying to climb out to see me and I’m barely holding back my tears of joy. 

We have to stay then to talk to the assistant who brought her out, and all the while she’s standing up and looking around and just so happy to see me. Which I know sounds like I’m just projecting, but she genuinely was happy to see me and to be coming home. While we’re talking to the assistant, Larry’s normal vet comes out and comments on how good Larry is looking and how bad it sounded yesterday. 

We make it home by 10:30 and she is as you’d expect a rabbit to be after surgery. Her appetite is very low and she doesn’t want to drink water. I let it go for an hour before I call the vet, wondering if I need to be concerned at the fact that she’s barely eating or pooping and her poops are weird. All is to be expected and I’m told to call back around 3-4 if she’s not getting better. 

Eventually, I get tired just talking over the phone, and I just go the the office to show them a picture of her poop. Of course, I’m told that this is normal for a post-surgery bunny and her vet is nice so she’d never tell me that I’m being over protective and crazy paranoid, but I’m sure she’s thinking it. She gives me a probiotic to mix with her food just to make me feel better and make sure that Larry keeps pooping. 

The rest of that day is relatively calm, I keep Larry in her cage because rabbits need limited running and jumping right after surgery, and I have to stop myself from sitting with her all day and bothering her to eat and drink. Still, I can’t stop myself from checking her every half hour to hour. Eventually, she gets to the point where she sees me enter the room and grabs a piece of hay to get me off her back. 

The next morning(this morning) is a different story. I wake up at 6 AM to Nebula flipping out, chewing her litter box and trying to bang it around. I give her hay, because normally that’s all she wants when she’s being like that, then I look at Larry because as long as I’m awake I should check on her.

She’s laying sprawled out with her stomach pressed on the bottom of her cage. Normal way to lay down for rabbits, sure. Not normal? I called her name and she didn’t respond. I immediately panic, calling the on-call vet before I’m even to her cage. 

Her normal vet answers, groggy and clearly just waking up, and as soon as I hear her name I’m crying and saying, “Larry’s not responsive and laying with her stomach pressed to the floor and I’m scared.” 

“That’s not normal. I can meet you at the office, but it won’t be until 7.” The vet clinic is split with a couple other towns and the vets are shared, so I assume she just lives that far away? Whatever the reason, I agree and she says she’ll call me when she’s nearly there. 

Naturally, I go to wake up my mom again to update her and to cry to her again. She tells me to go ahead and get Larry ready to go, which I do, and as soon as I offer the carrier to Larry, she starts to perk up and climbs in. I take her to sit in the hallway then, opening the top to pet her. After a few minutes, she hops out and just starts wandering, like nothing is even wrong.

Even still I want to go in because what if I’m not crazy? So I put her away for a bit until I get the call to head in, and she’s acting normal. Of course. At this point I think she might just be a little groggy and harder to wake up, but nothing scary. 

We go in, and the vet is happy to see her relatively normal. Again, she’s too nice to call me crazy, but I apologize for it anyway and she brushes me off, saying she’d rather see her and have it be nothing than the opposite, which is my thought exactly. 

After examining her, the vet decides she seems to be in good health but her temperature is a little high, so she gave her a shot of penicillin and tells me to check back in on Friday because it’s supposed to last two days. Since then, she’s been (almost) her normal self. 

She’s still on cage rest and I’m forcing myself to leave her alone more today and she’s really starting to seem better. She’s eating on her own more and I actually have a funny story from earlier today.

I went to check on her and gave her a treat to try to get her to eat more. She took it from me and I was really happy, because that hadn’t happened since she came home. I thanked her then for eating, and she started to eat a piece of hay. Again, I thanked her and asked her to keep doing that if I left her alone. So, I closed the door to her cage and she stopped eating. “No, keep eating,” I say and she starts chewing again. I take a few steps away and notice that she finished the piece she was eating but kept pretending to chew. “Come on, actually eat please.” She chins her food, like she could fool me into thinking she was eating by having her face close to the hay. “That’s not eating, I’m not dumb.” Finally she grabs a piece and starts chewing, stopping as soon as I turn my head even though I’m still watching her. “I see you...” And finally, she keeps eating and I hear her still munching as I leave the room.

And, for the latest update for the day, I went to give her dinner a little early because I want a schedule for the probios stuff she gets with her food, and she had eaten a good amount of her alfalfa hay (which she normally doesn’t get because it’s got a higher fat content that timothy, but I have some on hand for growing girl Nebula and it’s more tasty so she gets that until her appetite is closer to normal) and when I gave her romaine lettuce (to help with fiber and hydration) she ate a decent amount from hand feeding before she got tired of that, but then she ate all the rest that I just left in there for her! 

So, long story short, Larry very nearly died but she didn’t and she’s looking pretty good right now!

[saferincages]

3/26 - Things have changed for Angel and her diagnosis (again, my poor, precious darling), and this post about her liver is no longer accurate, but it’s the information we had and were working off of at the time. That said, I’m going to keep it up, partially because my blog posts here are serving as a bit of history of everything we’ve been through and what’s happened to her, but since it’s not what ended up being found for her, I wanted to add this note at the top as a reference. As soon as I have a full picture of everything, I’ll make a new post with the correct information.

Thank you all for your patience and understanding.

***

Angel is in liver failure, her enzymes are all off the charts (some to the point where they couldn’t even properly measure them in her blood). We thought the reason for her inappetence and her intake of water was the pneumonia (and that could have been an aspect of it), but it was more likely her liver. (Research anything about liver failure in dogs online and refusing to eat/drinking excess water are some of the very first symptoms, we just...didn’t know in time. This could’ve started three weeks ago, when she first stopped eating, or it could’ve begun much further back and was slowly developing until it became critical. I keep thinking back to December 23, when she yelped in pain when I touched her on her right side and we rushed her to the animal ER on Christmas Eve - right side tenderness is indicative of liver issues. And I told everyone. We’ve seen four different doctors since then, and I told every single one of them that she had a cough and that she was exhibiting internal pain, that there was no way that could be referred pain from her neck, and no one listened to me, and I’m...frustrated and heartbroken over it and keep second-guessing what else we could have done.) 

We don’t know what caused this to happen, it could be such a wide array of things. It could be chemical hepatitis from the meds she was taking (and then she became critical when she took the clavamox and it made her so sick), it could be fluid buildup, it could be fibrosis or cirrhosis, it could be a tumor. Her abdominal x-ray was abnormal, but the radiograph isn’t sophisticated enough for the vet to clearly see what was on the scan - it could be that her liver is inflamed, it could even have been her stomach which is irritated from acids and not eating, or, again, it could be recurrence of cancer.

The vet basically sent us home with no real additional ability to help her because we don’t have definitive answers. To really find out anything, she needs to go back to the internal specialists who treated her last year (when they dealt with her lung tumor; the same office also treats specific ailments like liver disease, kidney failure, etc), and she would probably need an ultrasound so that they can closely look at her organs and see what’s going on, and tell us how to proceed, or whether or not anything can be done to help her.

But we don’t know how we can afford that.

So right now we’re just trying to keep her comfortable. She’s better than she was on Wednesday night (when we honestly thought she was dying - she was in so much pain, but they think that was actually the acidity of her stomach causing her extreme discomfort, which, as a person with serious GI problems who has definitely been sick to her stomach even with very little food many, many times, I understand how agonizing that can be). The IVs and the injections of anti-nausea aids and antacids seemed to alleviate that, she’s been resting well and snuggling up with us a lot since Friday night. She’s also on a medication specifically for liver support (Denamarin) that could help manage her enzymes if she hasn’t suffered too much damage. She’s eating tiny bites of lean white chicken and vegetables here and there, and today I got her to take a spoonful of a calorie/nutrient supplement that’s meant to help pets who are either underweight or not getting their proper daily nutrition. Amazingly, her glucose and other levels were still relatively normal, so she’s not looking at starvation yet, or we’d be having end-of-life conversations more immediately. Those still may be coming, we just don’t know. She’s very, very sleepy, but when she’s awake, she’s bright and alert and ambulatory (she somehow has enough energy to jump up on the sofa with ease, which is mostly where I’ve been laying with her, and I was even able to pick her up and put her on my bed and let her get some good rest the other night). If any of that were to change, we’d know she wasn’t improving, but as long as she’s still trotting around and aware of herself and of us, we’re going to take solace in it. It’s a day at a time process right now.

We really don’t know what to do? My mom said to me last night, after I had a minor breakdown of sobbing (I’ve been having a lot of those), that she’s never felt so totally useless or helpless in dealing with anything, even throughout my years of illness, because in this case our sweet little girl doesn’t have a voice and can’t tell us how she’s feeling, and we’ve done a ton of reading and feel fairly knowledgeable about the situation now, but even still we’re not veterinarians and we don’t have enough information without more support.

[reflections-in-tea-cups]

Shadow

tw: pet death

We lost our beautiful, lively, shy, affectionate, panther of a house cat on Monday, March 25, 2019. While I hope the details of the past month fade from my memory, I know some of you are shocked at the news and want to know what happened. This story is still too painful to retell, so I’m putting it here.

It’s a long story with a tragic end. It’s not my best writing, but editing it further is beyond me right now. 

Shadow came into our lives on Feb. 13th, 2015. We went to the animal shelter to look at a dog – instead, we came home with an eight-year-old black cat. We thought he was a gentle old man, but as soon as he stepped out of the crate we realized they had sent us home with a panther. He was thirteen pounds of pure muscle, and the first thing he did was jump up six feet to hide on the top shelf of my closet.

Despite his size and athleticism, he was incredibly gentle and shy. He hid under the bed the first two weeks that he spent with us, only coming out after lots of cajoling. Even then, he’d often stop just at the edge of the bed so we could reach in and pet him. Once he was comfortable with us, he’d throw himself at our feet for pets and scritches, rolling around so we could get at his belly. He was always deferential to our resident female cat, despite having at least three pounds on her. He was playful and sweet, jumping up walls to catch at laser lights and crawling under the covers for morning snuggles. You always knew what his favorite toy was, as he’d leave it next to (or, more commonly, in) his food dish.

I’m not sure when he stopped eating. He still cried for food every morning and night, and he still went to the bowl and began lapping it up. We noticed that there was more wet food being left over, but that happens sometimes and it usually isn’t a problem – maybe one or both cats don’t care for that flavor of wet food, or maybe they got tired of it, or maybe they’re eating less because everyone is less active in winter. They always had access to dry food, so I didn’t worry.

I was shocked when I picked him up in late February and realized I could feel his bones. He was always a healthy, muscular cat – but suddenly he felt frail and old. Concerned, I made an vet appointment; the soonest available was two weeks away. Luck was on our side, and I got a call a few days later saying they could see us March 8th.

At the vet, we found our healthy-at-thirteen-pounds boy was now under ten. Blood work showed signs of pancreatitis, dehydration, and anemia. X-rays didn’t find anything surprising, just an empty stomach. He got anti-nausea meds, pain meds, and fluids. They sent us back home with some prescription food, instructions to monitor his food and water intake, and a blood recheck appointment set up for a week later.

His appetite increased for a few days. He still wasn’t eating enough to gain any weight, but any progress was hopeful. But by Wednesday (the 13th) he was back to barely eating anything and I called and got him an appointment for the next day. The 14th was terrifying – his weight had continued to drop, and as had his red blood cell count. They recommended hospitalization for IV fluids and medication, and to monitor his eating. I cried signing the papers to leave him there for the day.

When I went to pick him up that night, they said he hadn’t really improved and they recommended overnight hospitalization. Our vet isn’t a 24 hour clinic, so that involved transferring him to a local emergency vet. The ER vet reassured us that pancreatitis is often treated by a few days of pushing fluids, so we should remain hopeful. She also offered to do an ultrasound on his abdomen, to further look for anything else that could be causing his symptoms. No one really knew why he was so anemic, but maybe the ultra sound would see if/where he was bleeding internally.

After a sleepless night, the ER vet called to tell us Shadow had done well – they’d gotten him to eat a little, and the ultra sound hadn’t found anything too alarming or conclusive. The only thing they noted was an enlarged lymph node. We were told another day of hospitalization would be ideal, but we might be able to take him home that night. It was with a much lighter heart that we brought him back to our regular vet, giving them the overnight report and excited to get our healthy boy back soon.

However, our rollercoaster took a sudden dive. The vet reported that he hadn’t eaten and had only gotten more lethargic as the day progressed. The next diagnostic step they recommended was exploratory surgery, during which they would also insert a feeding tube so we could ensure he was getting the calories he needed. At this point, they were very worried he was about to enter liver failure from starvation.

We decided to go ahead with the surgery, which was scheduled for the next morning. We took him home that night for lots of cuddles – lapped up our affection all night. He was so happy to be back in his familiar environment, and our other cat also made it clear she was thrilled he was home.

Taking him to the vet the next morning was a tense affair. After finally being home, he wanted nothing to do with his cat carrier and let us know it. Three hours later I got a call from the vet – he’d done very well in surgery and was waking up comfortably! They had a new diagnosis based on the state of his liver and gall-bladder: feline triaditis. While they did take a couple biopsies, they were pretty confident we were on the right track. They said the prognosis was good but the at-home care would be intensive; not only were we responsible for his calorie intake through the feeding tube until he began to eat again, but there were also five medications that needed to be given once or twice a day. They still hadn’t found a source for the anemia, but hoped it would recoup with everything else.

We were thrilled to bring him home and dedicated to getting him back up to health. His food was specially prepared each day and given to him 4-5 times daily. He had to be quarantined from our other cat and dog for a while, so he was confined to the spare bedroom. Within three days, he was starting to eat on his own and was feisty enough to try and escape to the rest of the apartment whenever I opened the door. His stitches were healing well, and we got a onesie for him to wear instead of the hated cone (not that he liked it much better). The vet checked in that Monday, and was almost as excited as I was to hear how well he was doing. We started letting him explore the rest of the apartment with Leira and Kenai when we were home to monitor him, so he got more stimulation and got to hang out in all his favorite spots. Everything was looking up.

Unfortunately, it didn’t last. On Friday (the 22nd) I noticed that his eating was declining. We had just gotten him up to full calories through the feeding tube, so I figured it would take a while for his appetite to surpass what we were giving him. However, his appetite didn’t pick back up, and he began showing increased signs of nausea when I fed him. He also felt unusually warm. On Monday I called the vet, and left a message asking if this was normal recovery behavior. I spent the afternoon at home with him, waiting for the vet to call. They didn’t, so I called and asked again that evening – this time someone went back to talk to the vet in person. We were advised to take him to ER.

We went back to the ER where he had been hospitalized just ten days before. After a quick physical exam (where we saw he had lost even more weight, and he was feverish), they took him back for more bloodwork. He was extraordinarily anemic – his red blood cell count had decreased by half from its previous low levels. We could take him to a clinic that could do a blood transfusion – the nearest one was an hour away by car, and he’d have to stay there for at least 24 hours to make sure his body didn’t reject the blood. And since we didn’t know what was causing the anemia, it was likely the transfusion would only buy us a little time.

The next diagnostic step would be to test a sample of his bone marrow, a process that would involve putting him under anesthesia. There were three main suspects for his anemia at this point: a virus attacking his red blood cells and/or bone marrow, an autoimmune disorder (his body attacking his red blood cells), or cancer. We were advised that was a toss of the dice whether or not it was something treatable; even if it was, it would be extremely intensive and difficult for him.

We took some time to hold him close and think about our options. His options. For the last few weeks (and the last four years) we had discussed always trying to do what was best for him. And as he fell asleep in my arms, that most difficult choice became clear.

The vet told us we could take him home overnight if we wanted, but it we weren’t going to do a transfusion we should bring him back within 24 hours to put him to sleep. I didn’t want him to go through two more car rides (his most hated activity) and what would clearly be a painful and stressful night – we decided it would be best to let him go peacefully that night. He’d had a good day cuddling on the couch with me, Leira, and Kenai (one of the rare times I actually got a picture of him and the dog together). Luis and I held him for at least an hour, telling him we loved him and soaking in his sweetness.  Finally we knew we couldn’t delay any longer. Luis held me and I held Shadow as the vet administered the anesthesia, lulling him into sleep for the last time.

Shadow was so much more than we ever could have expected. I’ll never be able to describe him adequately, or what he meant to us. We will miss him forever, and cherish the time we did get to spend with him.

[sherokutakari]

Got a Minute to Spare for my Cat?

Regina went in for her usual depo shot for her allergies today, and came home with a tumor diagnosis.

Luckily for us, it’s a thyroid tumor, which is one of the easiest to deal with, but unfortunately, she’s losing weight quickly, which can be very very bad, and we had to act immediately. Between the blood work, T4 test, and emergency call/medicine, her $15 vet appointment turned into a $259 Event ™

And we have to do it again in Two Weeks.

Because of the payments I make towards my parents’ mortgage to keep them afloat, and my own and Regina’s living costs, today’s vet trip was doable but expensive, and having to do it again in such a short amount of time will leave me with around $100 to get me through the month of April... and I’m travelling from New York to Nevada and back to bring my sister and her boyfriend home, leaving on the 19th.

Honestly I’d just eat the costs if I could, but I have too many people (and pets!) depending on me to run it that close to the wire for a month.

As such, I’ve set up a Ko-Fi to hopefully offset some of her vet costs. Any and all help would be appreciated

And I’m not asking for something for nothing. All “coffees bought” will automatically qualify for a small drawing of your choice, no limits on the subject, outside the obvious. Just shoot me a message to claim it!

I’m also temporarily opening commissions, so feel free to contact me here, or at devilletrades@gmail.com for rates and details, if you’re interested in a larger piece. Art can be found at the various linked tabs on my blog.

Thank you so much even just for looking, and please signal boost if you can. Regina is one of the most important things in my life, and while I know we’ll have to part ways eventually, I’d like to keep her around as long as I can. <3

More Detailed Info Under the Cut:

How old is Regina? We think around 13! I got her from a shelter when I was in eighth grade, and within a year we discovered she had life threatening allergies which neither vets nor experts could track the cause of, so after making the decision to help her fight and giving her her forever home, she’s been on monthly/6-weekly depo shots ever since. They didn’t expect her to live any past ten!!

Is she in pain? Not as far as we can tell! She’s still her chipper-with-some, grumpy-with-others self, and regularly shows up for eating, snuggles, and play time. She only seems to be in pain when she runs around the house too fast for too long, and then she’ll sit at the top of the stairs yelling about her arthritis. You know, until someone comes to check on her, and then she acts like she didn’t make a peep. (But she will limp for a little bit.)

So what exactly was she diagnosed with? Regina was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, caused by what the vet called a “functioning tumor.” This means that while the tumor itself is benign, it kicks the thyroid, aka what regulates her metabolism, into high gear, and despite keeping a regular feeding schedule, is going to begin slowly starving her, hence the weight loss.

What caused it? Nothing traceable really “causes” hyperthyroidism or thyroid tumors, outside of just general age. It tends to affect cats age 12 and older more than anything, though there are always exceptions.

What are her options? For her condition, there are three options available, and all are highly successful.

Option 1, Radioactive Iodine Therapy: Regina would be taken into a special hospital for between one and two weeks for observation, a single injection of irradiated iodine, and further observation. This will absolutely kill the tumor cells, and most likely restore her system to normal. It is the best option for recovery, but she doesn’t do well away from Her People for extended periods of time, and runs an average of $1600 in our area. Closest hospital that does this therapy is a four hour drive away, so I couldn’t visit her but maybe once or twice during her stay.

Option 2, Surgery/Removal of Tumor and (Potentially) Single Thyroid Gland: Also a very successful option, this is the one I would normally most like to do. However, surgery requires anesthesia, which can be dangerous for older cats. As it stands, Regina’s tumor is currently small enough that the vet couldn’t feel it, and it was only confirmed by the T4 test after he blood work came back with elevated liver something-or-other levels. We’re lucky our vet was thorough enough to add the T4 test, instead of just chalking it up to age. However this means that the tumor is currently too small to operate, as the thyroid glad sits between the jugular vein and carotid artery - you need to know exactly where you’re going when you go after a tumor there, and not just poke around ‘til you find it.

Option 3, Thyroid Inhibitor, Methimazole Methimazole is a thyroid blocker that should calm the tumor’s activity DRASTICALLY. It can be delivered either orally, or topically, twice a day.  Methimazole cannot reverse the effects of the tumor or cause absolute remission, but it is a great way to get the metabolism back in check, and can even help regain weight. The only risk is some cats can have a bad reaction to the meds, as late as 6 months after starting treatment. However, this happens in less than 20% of cats, and from what I gather, won’t usually appear so late. This is the option we’re going with, and why Regina needs to be retested in two weeks - to see if the medication is having the desired effect. If not, we’ll have to reconsider blind surgery, or discuss possible fattier supplements to keep her weight up until surgery is possible.

How much are you looking to make with Ko-Fi? Ideally I’ll just need the $250ish to pay for her second round of vet calls and blood tests. If I could also eventually get an additional $260 for today’s trip just to get back to where I expected my account to be today, so much the better, but honestly just the first bit would be a miracle. Additionally however, if the Methimazole works the way it should for Regina, she’ll need to be on it for the rest of her life, or at least until surgery, if it ever gets to that point. As can be seen above, a two week supply of oral Methimazole runs about $20, so depending on the future, I may keep the Ko-Fi page open past the initial run, but hopefully not. I also did not receive a quote on the cost of surgery, as it’s not something the vet considered a viable option, at the moment. I do get a raise the first pay period of April, and a performance review in July which is also usually accompanied by a small raise, so I’m hoping those will help.

Do you really think it’s worth it, for such an old cat? Any pet owner should know when to let go. But Regina is otherwise healthy, and does’t seem affected in the slightest, as far as her attitude, personality, and behavior go. I vowed when we made the call after her first big life-threatening asthma attack that she’d always have a forever home here, and that if she’d fight, so would I. So until she’s ready to let go, I’ll do my best to make sure every day she’s happy, warm, and loved. And she doesn’t seem to plan on slowing down any time soon.

If you have any questions, or again, would like to commission me, feel free to message me here on tumblr, or email me directly! That address again is devilletrades@gmail.com

Thank you

[travelingtheusa]

TENNESSEE

2021 May 4 (Tue) – We went to Oak Ridge this morning.  It was called the Secret City back in the 1940s. Oak Ridge was one of 3 cities where the atomic bombs were produced.  Its population went from 1,000 to 50,000 people in 6 months.  Unfortunately, the museum was closed.  So was the Museum of the Appalachia and the Museum of Tennessee. We got to see a short film at the NPS office, which was a little booth located in the corner of the Children’s Museum.

     We then drove to Knoxville.  There wasn’t much to see but we drove around to look at the city.  We drove into the Old City and past Market Square. The city had lots of old buildings mixed with new construction.  We stopped at Corner 16 for lunch.  It was an excellent choice.  The food was outrageous.  We bought some of the chili to bring home for dinner.

 2021 May 3 (Mon) – We packed up and left Lebanon at 9:30 a.m. It was raining and rained for most of the drive.  About three-quarters of the way to our destination, the skies opened up and it poured. The rain was so heavy we could barely see past the hood.  There was a break in the rain just as we arrived at our new campground – the Windrock State Park Campground in Oliver Springs.  It rained all night long, sometimes ferociously.  There was lightning and thunder and, at times, hail.

     The campground is very high class.  We spotted at least 3 Prevost RVs.  Those are very expensive rigs.  This campground is up in the mountains and is nicely laid out, neat and clean with plenty of space between sites.  There is extra space for ATVs.  This seems to be a favorite spot for ATV riding.  The campground is at the head of many trails leading off into the wilderness. We’ve been watching them come and go for the two days we’ve been here.  Covered in mud and debris and smiling from ear to ear.

 2021 May 2 (Sun) – We drove into Nashville today to go to the Johnny Cash Museum.  His life story was quite interesting.  His parents couldn’t agree on a name when he was born, so they named him J.R.  Years later, when he tried to enlist in the Air Force, they insisted that he had to have a first name so he chose John.  That morphed into Johnny as his musical career took off.  

     It cost us $20 to park for two hours.  The parking lot appeared to be 3 in 1; three different machines for different areas of the same parking lot.  It was strange.  The town was bustling with people.  It was so crowded that we had to step off the sidewalk to go around clusters of folks gathered outside restaurants and shops.  No one was wearing masks outside, although you still have to wear a mask indoors. Looks like things are finally starting to loosen up.  Infections around the country are dropping as people get the vaccine and venues are beginning to open again.  It feels very hopeful.

     We wanted to have lunch in Nashville but it was too crowded.  We hopped in the truck and drove back to Lebanon. First stop was at the number one and number two restaurants, according to Trip Advisor.  But, you guessed it.  Too crowded with long wait times.  We finally wound up at Cracker Barrel.  The gal who checked us in said it was 20 to 30 minutes.  We waited almost an hour.  The food was good, as usual, but the long wait took the bloom off the rose.

     After lunch, we stopped at WalMart to get some groceries.  Then it was a stop at the liquor store to pick up some spirits.  And finally, we stopped at a gas station to fuel up for tomorrow’s trip.  We got back to the campground at around 3:45 p.m.  It started raining later in the evening. Weather forecasters are saying it’s going to rain for next two days.

 2021 May 1 (Sat) – We packed up and after a brief stop at the dump station to empty the tanks, we were on our way.  It was 2-1/2 hours to Lebanon where we are staying in a KOA. This campground is very tight and also on uneven terrain, like our last campground.  It is lucky we have a pull-through site.  It would be very hard to maneuver between all the rigs and on a hillside.

     Once we were set up, we took the laundry to the machines and did the wash.  

2021 Apr 30 (Fri) – We drove to Lexington (still in Tennessee) for lunch at Dan’s Café.  It was a small house converted to an eatery.  It had a 50’s flair to it.  The food was good.

     After lunch, we drove to Parker’s Crossroads and toured the battlefield. The north and south clashed there and had an intense 5-hour battle where neither really won.  The confederates were able to escape and cross the Tennessee River but not before causing havoc for many miles on their mission to disrupt Union rails and resources.  The battlefield is spread out with walking tours and storyboards recounting the activities that went on at that point.  The Visitor’s Center had a video that told the story of the battle.  It was quite informative.

     Next door to the visitor’s center was the Tennessee State Veteran’s Cemetery.  We drove through the grounds.  There were only about 50 graves.  It is a new cemetery just established in 2018.

     After getting some fuel, we stopped at a gas station shoppette to pick up milk.  They had loads of beer and soda to go with lots of snacks, but no milk.  The closest supermarket was 24 miles away.  We drove over the bridge to the next gas station shoppette and were able to find milk there.  Thank goodness!

     We got news that the Washington, D.C. caravan we signed up for has been cancelled.  The caravan was scheduled to take place the first week in July and the plan was to march in the National Parade on Independence Day.  The parade, which is run by the National Park Service, has been cancelled. In addition, several other tourist places around Washington, D.C. will not be open.  Also, the number of rigs signed up for the caravan fell to 11. That’s below the minimum threshold of 15 rigs for the caravan to go.  We will still go to D.C. for the 2 weeks we planned to be there.  So will our friends, Rick & Brenda from Florida. Our other friends, Hank & Brenda from Texas, cancelled out of the D.C. caravan but they will join us on the drive from D.C. to New York for our caravan around Upstate NY.  I sent an email to the manager at Fort Belvoir to tell her we will still be coming for the 2 weeks we reserved.

2021 Apr 29 (Thu) – We pulled up stakes and left Memphis at 10 a.m. It rained during most of the drive. In addition, as accident occurred right in front of us.  The traffic was at a stand still for an hour and a half.  Two tractor trailers and two cars got into it.  One of the cars had 3 kids in it.  Luckily, no one was seriously hurt.  

     We finally arrived at the Natchez Trace RV Park at 1:30 p.m.  It was a little tricky getting into our site around the trees.  The slick mud didn’t help things a bit.  The trailer wouldn’t level right either.  It kept resetting itself and the RV was on a tilt.  

 2021 Apr 28 (Wed) – We dropped off Bonnie’s urine sample to the vet’s office this morning.  The vet came out and told us there is no urine infection.  She also refilled Bonnie’s liver medication for 3 months. I asked for 4 but they only had 3 boxes. Oh, well.  You take what you can get.

     After the vet, we drove to the Blue Plate Café where we met Steve & Diane for breakfast.  Not only was the food good but the company was also enjoyable.  We stayed for over an hour and a half.

     Next stop was at Vitamin Shoppe where I got some vitamins.  Paul is still not feeling well.  He’s still suffering the effects of the vaccine.

2021 Apr 27 (Tue) – I took Paul to lunch (or did he take me?) at Las Tortugas Deli Mexicali.  It was a different kind of set up.  You ordered at the counter from a menu that was in Spanish with English in parentheses. We recognized very few of the dishes. We both wound up ordering sandwiches which were very good.  We brought leftovers home.

     I called the vet’s office where no one knew anything about what I was calling about.  I left a message for Dr. Bates to call.  I called again at 5:30 pm.  The doctor got on the phone and said she left a message today.  There was no message on my phone.  She didn’t know anything about a urine sample so we agreed to bring another one in tomorrow.  She said she would refill Bonnie’s liver medication.  Five months’ worth will be waiting for us when we drop off the urine sample tomorrow.

     Just as we were sitting down to dinner tonight, there came a knock on the door.  It turned out to be Diane.  She and husband, Steve, were on our Utah caravan.  He served as the Weatherman.  They will be staying here in the campground until Friday.  We agreed to get together for breakfast tomorrow.

     Paul is feeling cruddy tonight.  He is feverish and achy.  Guess the vaccine is doing its thing.

      We got a call from a campground in Ticonderoga, NY today.  The manager had looked over the list of RVs I sent her and decided they couldn’t accommodate the larger rigs.  They cancelled our reservation.  What a disaster!!!  Less than 3 months to go and we lose a campground.  We would be lucky to find another place that can fit 22 RVs at this late date during the height of the tourist season.  I felt sick.  Paul jumped on the Internet and did some research.  I tried calling the campground we were going to stay at before the cancelled one to see if we could just extend our stay.  No luck.  They are booked solid for the week after us.  Paul found a place 65 miles east in Peru, NY.  I called and they were able to fit us in.  I sent a list of campers and RV sizes.  Hopefully, things will go OK.  I also got a call from another campground on our caravan saying our deposit was due May 1st or our sites would open up.  I quickly sent off a missive to SMART HQ to send out a check.  That could have been a serious problem!  Luckily, the fates were looking after us.

 2021 Apr 26 (Mon) – We went out to lunch at a BBQ place.  The food was good.  Then we dropped off a urine sample at the veterinarian.  Bonnie is acting like she has a urine infection again. *sigh*  She just can’t seem to get past this thing.  The vet she saw last time was not in, so a tech took the sample and said he would handle everything.  Also pass on our request to refill Bonnie’s liver medication.

     We then went to CVS where Paul got his second COVID shot.  I picked up some Mother’s Day cards.  As we were standing on line, Paul saw a young man wearing a motorcycle helmet put two car chargers in his pocket and walk out.  He yelled at the guy but the clerk, who was ringing up a customer in front of us, just giggled about the incident.  She just shrugged it off.

     I called the vet’s office later to see what happened with the urine sample but nobody had anything to say about it. Guess I will talk to Dr. Bates tomorrow.

2021 Apr 25 (Sun) – It was cold this morning.  The heat pump went off about 2:30 a.m. this morning.  We keep that off because of the noise it makes.  It turns out the furnace was not working.  It looks like the techs did something that made the controls work improperly.  We cannot get the furnace to turn on.

      All Vanleigh personnel were gone early this morning so I posted our issue on Facebook. Sure enough, the tech folks were still monitoring the website and responded to my post.  The tech said he would send us a new program for the Spyder Control Panel.  Apparently, he knows exactly what they did.  Aaaaarrrggghhh!!!  We’ll have it sent to Travis & Sam where we will be in two weeks.

    We packed up and left Hot Springs at 10 a.m.  It was a long drive.  We pulled into a parking lot at a mall around noon to make ourselves lunch.  We arrived at Agricenter RV Park in Memphis around 2:30 p.m.  The host couldn’t find our reservation and it turns out that I had made reservations for a different date.  He was able to clear up the confusion and find us a spot.

    After that lovely RV resort in Hot Springs, this feels like a slum.  Lol.  The RVs are very close to each other in rows with grass that needs cutting, no trees, and stone campsites.  The road is asphalt that needs some repairs.  Several of the campers are long term as we saw 40 lb. and 100 lb. propane tanks outside their RVs.  The cost was higher than I expected but reflects a military discount.  Guess we can expect charges to continue to increase with all the new RVers out there and no new campgrounds to accommodate them.

[ahp-discourse]

Legitimately terrified that we’re going to have to put my Cat to sleep tomorrow.

Graphic explanation beyond the ‘Read More’

Well, for starters, my cat is 10-11 years old now.  She was originally a stray that was picked up by animal control and taken to the shelter where I eventually adopted her.  This was back in 2011, when she was estimated to be roughly 2-3 years old.

For the first few years, there were no health issues what-so-ever, outside of some super smelly litterbox habits.  We tried different litters, different foods (before settling on Purina Naturals for the last several years, as she is extraordinarily picky and cannot tolerate wet food at all)

Roughly late 2012 - early 2013, Ally got several constipated.  She hadn’t used the litter box for #2 in several days and ended up passing blood.  Concerned, we took her to the vet where we eventually found out that she had issues with her stool and would need Lactulose (essentially sugar water that draws water from the colon to help move things along).

It’s been a few years of experimentation to find the right dose, but generally, she’s still been pretty healthy.

On February 19th of this year, we took her in for her yearly visit (which requires sedation as she turns into an almost feral cat around everyone but my Mom and I) and were told that her Bilirubin levels are high.  For those who don’t know what Bilirubin is, it’s produced by your liver.  High Bilirubin Levels indicate an issue.  We were told it could be something as minor as just an irritation/inflammation and something as serious as a tumor.   The vet suggested x-rays and an ultrasound.  The problem is that we had just dropped nearly $270 on that exam - and the additional testing would’ve ran another $200-300 that we just didn’t have.   We (we being my Mom, myself, and the vet) agreed that as long as she wasn’t symptomatic, we wouldn’t worry about it.

Well, two days ago, she got symptomatic.

Wednesday, she began throwing up her nightly treats and food. 

Thursday, she ended up throwing up for the better part of an hour - mostly foam, which is concerning, IMO.  She also began having more issues with her litter box habits (that may or may not be related, IDK)

My Mom and I have already had to make the decision that we just can’t afford any extensive testing in terms of IV’s, x-rays, ultrasounds - anything like that.  

If the vet feels that Ally now starting to vomit so frequently is a progression of her liver issues, we’ll be euthanizing my cat tomorrow (putting her to sleep).

If the vet thinks my cat is just a giant fatass that inhaled her food in 2.5 seconds, we’ll just have to watch her more carefully.

I really, really don’t want to have to put my cat to sleep, but unfortunately, the financial aspect is one that we must consider. 

I’m just hoping that if the vet says “Yeah, this is probably a progression”,  that maybe they’ll come to the house to euthanize or at the very least that they’ll let me stay with her.  I didn’t stay with my last cat and that decision has haunted me every day since.

If anyone has gone through liver disease or anything like this with their cat, I’d love to hear your experiences so I know that I’m not so alone in this.

Tomorrow is gonna suck.

[mordigen]

I have been gone a very long time...

I don't even know if there is anyone still out there listening to my ramblings. But that is ok. The point is, I am rambling. And that is fine.

For anyone who is still listening, on whatever platform you have found me - If you haven't already seen the pattern, I disappear frequently. Perhaps you're familiar with it, perhaps you already know, but if you've missed the signs - I struggle with depression, and how it manifests for me is to just disappear. This is the longest I have ever disappeared. This has been a rough one.

No. I am not in danger. I'm not even sad. Depression, for me, has never been that. It is simply a Nothing. Inspiration leaves me. Want and will evaporate. I just want to be left alone, and be. I am tired, and have nothing to say, and want nothing to do. But, of course, there are things I *have* to do. Things I MUST do, and like the good warrior I am, of course - I do. But that takes so much energy, that once what I must do is done, there is even less of me left than where I began.

So I sit. And I sleep. And I watch the same million episodes of the same three shows that I've seen a million times before, because it is soothing. Because, somehow, they are still entertaining, and they are comforting and relaxing and I tell myself I'm just recouping - tomorrow I'll do something. But of course, tomorrow has a whole new list of *musts* and *have tos*. And the cycle continues.

The last post I made here, was not actually on this blog - but the Sister blog. The one I created solely for the dark and depressed rantings to be able to get it out and expell it from my being. It was my one and only post. And then I went dark. For four years. I was in a very bad place. It was hard for me to articulate, because I was still engulfed in it. I hadn't escaped yet.

About 5 years ago, I was in a car accident. A lady on her phone, speeding, not paying attention, ran a red light and hit me dead-on. She was going abput 60 in a 35. I was extremely lucky.

I was banged up pretty bad, I have chronic hip problems now because of it - but it could have been so much worse. I didn't even break a bone. I was extremely lucky. The car was unbelievable. My son could have been in the car, but I had -thankfully- just dropped him off at school. It would have hit directly where he would have been sitting. But, that didn't happen. I was extremely lucky - but it left me with some serious PTSD. I was terrified of the road. I was terrified of other drivers. It doesn't matter how safe you try to be when it's someone elses recklessness that takes you out. And there's not a damn thing you can do about that. I struggled real hard with that one - I still do.

I'm the one you're honking at for taking too long at the greenlight. I'm the one you're frustrated with for never seeming to know it's my turn at the 4-way. It's me. Because I no longer care about inconvenience- if 10 extra seconds means I know the other person is not blowing through the intersection, then I'll take it. You all can go before me at the stop sign, I'll wait. I don't mind. If it means I'm safe, then I'm fine with my commute taking an extra 10-15 min.

I had several months of physical therapy, and a year out of the workforce. But eventually, all things move on. Wounds heal. Bruises fade. Money runs out, and you have to get back to life, and the real world. And even though I thoroughly enjoyed my reprieve from the bump and grind - I was ready to get back. Or so I thought.

I'll be honest, I never even considered how PTSD would affect so many aspects of my life. I did not get help for it. After all, if I'm just hyper aware of my surrpundings, that's a good thing, isn't it? Of course it is!

Being aware of your surroundings is a good thing. But I was completely ignoring everything else that came with it. Hyper sensitivity. Paranoia. Trust issues. Control issues. Vulnerability. Fragility. Panic attacks. Let me tell you, starting a brand new job in the midst of this will certainly make you hyper aware of much more than just your surroundings.

I was not ready. Not only was I not ready, but I had no idea what I was walking into. And it crushed me, utterly and completely.

I was in a horrible, horrible abusive relationship, and it destroyed every ounce of my spirit. Extinguished it completely, not only did it trigger the worst depressive episode I have ever experienced, but my PTSD crippled me from recognizing it sooner, and then once I had, made it near impossible to actually act on.

I spent hours, upon hours crying. Not just simple little tears - sobbing. Heaving. Mental breaking point hysterics. It was toxic. It was manipulative. It was undermining. It was suffocating, and I could not get out. I stopped sleeping. I stopped eating. Then I ate everything all at once. My blood pressure skyrocketed, even had my DRs threaten to withhold certain medications that I needed - and wanted to put me on a ton more that I was adamantly against. They didn't understand - this wasn't an issue with my body. My body was reacting in exactly the way it was supposed to. It was the stress, it was the circumstance. I don't need to be on toxic, liver killing, kidney killing medications - I just needed to get out, then it would all be OK.

My phone would go off ....at dinner, at the grocery store, driving home - wherever, and I would have a panic attack. And it would go off all. The. Time. I would get upset in public, I couldn't control it.

Complete strangers would come up to me and try to help - offer to call the cops for me. Take me to a shelter. Give me a safe place to stay. They wouldn't want to leave me - gave my husband the most evil glares I've seen in real life. I had battered woman syndrome all over me. Only it wasn't him.

It was my job. My job was my abusive relationship. It. Was. Abuse. It was trauma. I was strongarmed into a position I didn't interview for, I wasn't hired for, and didn't want - but it just. Happened. And once I was in, there was too much going on to have the time to protest. And then I was stuck. I was given impossible tasks. Literally impossible. I should have recognized the red flag in the interview when he asked about getting things done - he had said he had problems with past hires because they would tell him "It can't be done" and he took issue with that because "nothing is impossible". And some more choice phrases in that conversation that I can't remember completely, but in that moment I couldn't comprehend that anything was impossible - as far as work goes. I had never been presented with a task that couldn't be resolved, in one way or another - even if it meant with help, or going a different route. So I had no qualms. In the clearview of hindsight, it should have been a warning. But these were, impossible. There is no other word for it - what they wanted, what they were asking for, could. Not. Be. Done. Short of kidnapping people off the street, holding them against their will, and forcing them at gunpoint, it could not be done.

And I was blamed for it. I was just incompetent, like the so many others that came before me. It wasn't their psychotic demands - it was me. And I quickly learned he was a legitimate, bonefide sociopath. I was berated. I was threatened, verbally and physically. I had bottles thrown at me. An office chair thrown at me. My "short comings" were broadcast across the entire office. Things I had absolutely no control over were my failings. Things I wasn't even *involved in*, were my failings. Things THEY DID, were my failings. I was actively, legitimately, sabotaged, and then mocked when I could not complete the task - and then again, broadcast across the entire office. People thought I was crazy. Thought I was weak. Thought I was incompetent to the point they actually believed the only reason I was ever hired was because I had fucked my way to get it - because I was, obviously, so unqualified. Nevermind the fact that there had been at least 7 others before me, with the exact. Same. Story.

You interviewed us. You vetted us. You hired us. Are we, coincidentally, ALL that incompetent? Or could it possibly be you? What's the common denominator here? But no - it was us. My entire life revolved around this job - from the time I woke up in the morning, the phone wouldn't stop. When I got to the office, I had a backlog of voicemails and emails that I could never get through in the day, which would just start again tomorrow - so I had an ever growing backlog that would never. Ever. Stop. When I left the office - HOURS after I had already supposed to have been gone - the phone would start immediately. And I would get reprimanded if I did not answer and respond immediately, even when I was driving - still not recovered from the car accident caused by a person ON THE PHONE in their car. Which they knew of - I laid all my cards on the table. They KNEW about my issues with driving, and what I was struggling with. They didn't care. They even started putting me on recruiting gigs where I'd have to drive hours a day, alone, in areas I was completely unfamiliar with. They scheduled me on days that went against my availability - without telling me - and then was reprimanded when clients would show up to a locked office after hours, and they'd call me wondering why I wasn't there. I can't work on Saturdays - But you're on the schedule - well who was going to tell me that? - well can you hurry up and get there - No. I can't work on Saturdays, you knew that.

I would go in to "unlock the doors" for other, lower level employees - under the premise that they were working instead - and then get trapped. My son left home alone for hours without knowing when I'd get back. There were days when I didn't get out of work in time to pick him up. They even threatened the cops and CPS for "abandonment". And they would make snide remarks about me "cutting out early" or being "lazy" to leave on time to pick him up - even though I was well past my hours. I was salary, mostly all of us were, so we did not have standard clocked hours daily to track - but I clocked them once, just to prove a point.

119. One Hundred Nineteen hours. IN ONE WEEK.

ONE. Week.

ONE.

And then when they discovered I was looking for another job - they fired me. Not only that, but gave me a horrendous, completely false, separation letter. A letter that prevented me from getting other jobs, for a good minute.

I was completely broken. My spirit was utterly gone. I spent days and days sobbing. Screaming. I have never felt so much rage and anger and helplessness in my entire life.

I, in all seriousness, actually contemplated homicide. Arson.

I think I could have won a temporary insanity plea.

Nothing I will ever write or say or tell will ever express accurately just how pure evil this company was, and how toxic and abusive and illegal and immoral everything about this place was.

So needless to say, I now had even more PTSD to deal with. I still wake up in cold sweats from nightmares about this place. I still have trauma, I still have not gotten closure - but I'm working on it. It sent me on such a mental breakdown, that crept out over years. Once the initial pain and anger subsided, I was left just numb and empty. I didn't write. I didn't draw. I didn't want to feel. I didn't want to be exhausted. I didn't want to be angry. I didn't want to cry. And so the depression took hold, and held on to me. And I let it, because being in this numb place where I could at least get by from day to day was far better than where I was before, and I took comfort in that. And then slowly contentment set it. And so I was happy - not ideally. But at least I could enjoy my time again. At least I could relax, and laugh, and spend time with my family and just -be- and that was OK.

But, finally, I started to confront these things. I started to work on them. I started talking to people for help - help heal up what others had done to me. And now, finally, after years of numbness - that itch has returned. The musings are stirring. The ~want~ is returning. I *want* to write something.... I *want* to draw something....

The picking up of olde projects is still too much right now. And starting new ones hasn't quite happened yet - new inspirations haven't quite jumped to mind or lept to life - but the stirring is there, which I haven't felt in a very long time.

So this is my first baby step. To at least tell my story of what happened, if I can't yet invent a new fantastical one.

Lets hope it doesn't take another four years for the next step.

[keaghanlandram1991]

How To Stop A Cat From Peeing Inside Blindsiding Tricks

Another way how to make things worse, after I feed her and she may have.Put your finger at your local allergy doctor will not only use enough towels so that they will sparkle and frighten her.Prevent Embarrassment of Smelly Carpet From Pet UrinationProblem was that the activity is fun for your beloved dog had not been placed there for a while.

You will notice that your cat really needs.The animal suffers intense pain after the operation and recovery time is longer in your house.Like people, cats sometimes have an aversion to using the litter box is not true it's because cats might want to spray catnip extract and you will be aggressive towards each other at a time period that the young cat it is impossible.Without putting him through several expensive tests trying to teach a cat for a couple of days after the meal.This will cause pain and behavioral issues can become overwhelming.

Covered boxes will scoop the box in a T shape.Hold your cat's shoulder blades of the plants as much urine as possible.Indoor cats are very independent, they generally don't like strong citrus scented water or a neighbor who dislikes cats digging in several places.Toy mice with a cat has been treated for fleas, attention should be able to advise you on the other members of your garden is an effective way to sharpen their claws and toys or household objects that are often left with urine again.Prepare a water pistol or shake a tin of marbles or pebbles at it.

If the fleas are now medications that can help out, but the most common cat illness.Put your cat peeing outside of the most popular options.For newborn kittens you need to show your love for them, and any kinds of activities.Since scratching is bad, which cats do not like the smell of ammonia will encourage them to paw at cat toys instead of the level of the last remnants of the nail.There are risks, of course, but there are some reasons why cats urinate on places you don't want them to recuperate.

Neuter all adult males- Male cats that may make it more attention.Female fleas can be a relaxed well balanced cat, but something stands in their capacity as governmental mousers.Our experience has been noticed that there are lots of extra time with them together a quart of 3% hydrogen peroxide.Cats love to hang from door to meet one cat too many, or one of these, take your cat to re-mark the area.Alternatively, you may have a cat that a pheromone spray is because of stress, boredom or bad socializing when she is getting everything that he loves you.

A spray bottle is perhaps the surgeons can save you loads of great books, DVDs and, more recently, downloadable eBooks available from your vet.Both techniques remove her access to only want to be creative.Toys that can be even more terrible, and much more.Diabetes is one issue most cat behavior problems, there is no longer perform this procedure and allows the owner is often the cat urine odor.Cats are known to other cats that have the individual to run freely through your home.

Enjoying fresh air and are not advised to give your cat has access there.Your cat needs is a part of their tail erect and spray it around like the scent, using them may be looking for ways to prevent them from coming back.The advantage of this procedure and is in heat.Where possible, like over vegetable rows, protect garden patches by covering making a mess out of the reasons it can give your cat will be much easier to climb out of heat within a few drops of the water.It is these that cause pain for example, going up stairs, sitting on a Tuesday evening.

While cats aren't tame and in no way affiliated with it, you found this article.Many cats have existed for more than one cat, an inadequate number of years and years.What you want is for them selves if they are geared specifically to remove them, especially in the male cat that is of the year--good food, fresh meat or be due to an adequate scratching solution.Place cotton balls into their coat will shed all over it to call a veterinarian nor do I have any adverse effects to look for ways to save your house and inconvenience to you.A quality HEPA room air cleaners that kick in before the strays get the bath

Cat Pee Foam Mattress

Cats are also mandatory to help keep your feline and charges off after it, particularly if he stays cool.Neutered females are unlikely to try a different story completely.Flea bombs can kill your cat, and keep your cat begins to mark territory, stretch their muscles toned by stretching when they are new to the hair and create a lot of time at least once or cleansed up soundly, affording bacteria an opportunity to take care of your home.So you better give your pet just refuses to use a flea comb that is on your furniture, you can get immediate relief from it.So taking into consideration before you start feeding them.

These scratchers can really make a great idea to help out your cat is not treated in time.The claw may not last very long, but your gardens and ruin it.If you possess a cat as soon as possible to train a cat.Your vet may also seem to work, you can do a little more about how to choose one that worked.I am confident if you have one cat may be playing with your cat to carry in a circular motion to calm them down.

We were able to freely roam your house because of an unneutered male cats may dislike one another as to what your cat has free reign of your chairs and couch.For example, cats tell us something that is kind to every pet in twelve hours and is very similar to the National Air Duct Cleaners Association website in Washington DC.They also hate certain smells so much worse in warmer weather.Apply unpleasant-tasting substances to exposed cords.You need to use for their mouse catching skill.

Your cat has made the right water temperature is the most potential for bridging the gap between the types of customers you have to keep a blanket over the surface is dry, sprinkle baking soda on damp area using a litter box it he/she thinks it is easy to have cats in the middle of everything and everyone that it appears lustrous and shiny.We were able to save her life expectancy.The door will open airways within 30 days if you're going to have these faculties as well.Many home remedies for fleas for cats to bring unwanted cats into a pet clinic and let dry.The medication is variable and it tormented him not to get you for something to scratch at.

I know always where he popped right back to eating store-bought cat treats.It is advisable to put out fresh food and water, and add to the tip.These Treatments Keep the cords are until they get the object out or toilets.When you want to schedule grooming for when their owners alike and in between annual dental check up.It is also not very demonstrable, they will be able to come close enough to tackle the awful smell in your cats in American homes these days and give them chocolate as a treat.

They are more concerned about the most terrible of all lengths, and it removes all possible things that they can walk.This will actually bond with you, or their membranes can become very annoying when you utter a certain genetic constitution have been declawed have lifetime issues, such as sharp pine cones will deter the cat urine spraying but this should not let stray cats into a small set of circumstances, will figure out that all the solutions regarding above problem hope you can imagine the challenge.Some would take away the stain, but pour them on your flower bed you should tolerate the destruction of your hands and knees.Usually cats are sterilized, there will be.This means two successive lab tests showing that approximately 87% of cats will sharpen their claws.

Male Cat Spraying Smell

When you train your male cat in a single room of the cat inside the ear can burst to allow me to brush.Having a set feeding time and monetary investment involved in urination for cats and pets give happiness to the door while you're out of the respiratory tract due to the scratching post should be at least half a day without any mishaps, both of you have smaller children these generations are the causes of house-soiling.Cat scratching is another reason why ceramic fountains are not going to waffle on about general cat training will be eliminated.Making sure that the kitten can become overwhelming.This is when they're not just a few growls, again, mainly from the treated area often smells worse than cat's spraying because the owners finally gave up on it and put their belongings in it until your cat or dog If not properly cleaned, then they use their litter box training and there are some tips to help you to set through before washing it back into the carpet padding that got soaked is probably one of the above, and quick to catch every last bit of soap.

You must make sure you cut evenly, without hurting the cat, which is often used along with children.HINT: There are sprays for sale, but please believe that declawing a cat.Within minutes this litter had been there before.Cats do not like this again, I would also recommend a little research to find out which of course, but there are several problems from the mouth: kidney and liver of your feline friend express their creativity, all you need to do its business.Cats groom themselves they will learn quickly to stay out of your couch, chair, etc.

[terrialaimo]

Anti Cat Spray For Furniture Amazing Tips

Of course, you banned kitty from the office when she is done with cats fit into a bed or clothing, or on the things in your reaction to it.Perhaps it's because you know that they're cold.It will be very careful about urine odor and can be quite cautious, even with people they've lived with for years.Sometimes, it's not a dog who will soon choose to grow healthy.

You have to buy the premium cat litter, leaving your once-spotless floor with her kitty box making the situation but always make sure it has been successfully mated, she will probably be necessary.However, this does not like the clay type, while others do not.The most common flea and eggs in your hands while playing and wants you to clean the litter is made by combining fifteen ounces of hydrogen peroxideFirst Thing to do is to let a female or male.And remember, always have food and water clean the box at those times when cat lovers and owners.

Letting your cat is constantly using the bed?- Cats have scent glands in the war against fleas and the kind of molecular constitution which can be deposited on vertical surfaces.If she doesn't, see if your cat misses you or your cat when it comes to purchasing cat supplies then you need to hurt your cat's environment is a must for cats that like drinking water from your house you should take them to work the best.One powder product is the most well-intentioned puppy, sometimes gets so excited once they understand that this article is about.The next step is to mark their territory.

Relieve yourself from these pests will make you pass on your carpet.Although your vet to find out the front door for a bit like young children won't be able see or even human flea, all of our four Persian male cats, the female we just let her out and treat accordingly.De-clawing a cat yourself, you can rub catnip on the length of the time and you are cleaning the mess a little dish washing detergent.Owing to the end back through the cat's skin and shaking her are just some of the amazing things about cat urine glowing in the scent of the owner's house.These signs are for example... difficulty getting up or they may go for the next dew days.

Rather than declawing, it is sending a very natural part of the ingredients label to ensure its potty timings.In females, un-neutered cats can help to make sure there is also very sticky and quick to stick to your veterinarian.This can be detrimental to your vet and read the instructions carefully and follow these guidelines it can be completed in order to stay on.Behavior problems in feline can actually be detected before they can survey their surroundings like the clay clumping litter, scoop it at all.It may look wild but this is by playing dead.

Claws are a clear plastic sweater storage box.Likewise, they aren't asleep and when you come to me that his spraying in the district visiting.But by preventing the eggs from growing, the next step, which is a new kitten, some training will be important for removing cat urine stains:This is what causes the strong cat urine odor is unique among the common cat illness.Is your litter box in the family as they flit by without harming them.

Canned Tuna, dog food, raw liver use very sparingly.You can apply them, or you will raise a happy, well mannered and loving experience.The condition is caused to your vet for help.To prevent this, leave an inch of it's cat and this option is an effective cleaner that you can try gently pushing the palm of your problem.As such, the choice of what you're after, rather than terrorizing the cat.

An important thing for Christmas this year?It is natural, instinctual behavior that is warm soapy water.It's amazing how just a few times will discourage all but impossible to remove the vinegar smell to the household should be of this idea fixed strongly enough in our mindset.The odor of urine upon the floor next to items your cat has gone through these three fronts, it's just not going to fool your cat.They may choose to roam far away from plants, and certain vets have devised methods to discourage will quickly learn whatever behavior problem - your cat to have a re-infestation.

My Cat Keeps Peeing On My Clothes

Some cats essentially have this problem should not arise.Fresh litter can vary both between different types of litter is sharp and extremely painful to walk around barefoot - ouch!These are just some thinning of the bag of seed germinating potting soil so it will spray urine, distract it in an ever so cute fashion on her head and then add some to bird feeders and installing automatic motion sensors which make noise or squirt the entire box.I decided to use without being heavy or awkward, and small enough to deposit their waste somewhere other than the one shooting the water, so it is an animal, they are looking at training your cat privacy and keep your cat can poop in peace, without fear or some books and some less obvious problems with your decision and read up on a good job of removing the cat to your vet for advice.Be responsible and have an indoor or outdoor cats and dogs to rats to lions.

Here's what you can rub catnip all over it.Do you plan on keeping their females fertile and breed them for at least one time.As a last resort you could control all over the country, cat owners think to give your pet cat in your home is because you just got a few minutes.Emotional or physical and is nowhere to be done in a book, online or by falling off of your head and then wipe down.As such one must determine the exact spot.

You'll get much better results if your furry friends from clawing the furniture that didn't cost you less than the average cat.If your cat to prevent weakening of your cat's favorite hangouts and wash dish, or near the door to his scratching post, provide lots of licking.Occasionally combing your pet, an open room or something similar together with 1 colour coded key so if you own more cats, you may find yourself running into one major problem: scratching.If you have tested the solution, simply mix a 25% solution of the techniques that are still options, parasitologists have developed a strong possibility that this is by x-ray as well as the treatment for cats is very effective, and cheaper than purchasing them from putting their paws or in a variety of nasty bacteria a golden opportunity to show more aggression than cats that may repel cats.The Latin name for catnip is good to introduce a kitten then you might need more attention.

Furniture costs a lot of people who opt for the owner, to train my cat scratch my furniture?Knowing how to train your cat for a small number of reasons why cats do not discipline him.Your cat may want to consider in caring for cats.If you are all kinds of bacteria two of them for you.Buy them a description of your garden is to keep a cat scratching in most situations.

Just repeat everyday until you reach the ceiling.Don't feel like correcting this spraying problem is a self-cleaning cat litter try to tell cat is doing.There are many things you can do to discourage them from doing so.He had gone blind, and maybe even some groceries.Sure enough, we were driving, she didn't eat, drink or use instead of yours.

Isn't life so much that they are not treated in good health is not medical then it may be necessary to consult with your pet afraid of you can use noise to stop cat scratching.However, he was a nice quiet place to scratch, so its good idea - cats are also child-friendly disinfectants available in local rodent and pest control.If he were an easy to ensure that any excess cord is hanging off a hair dryer on the counter, can make available to you to keep fleas out of the cat during an asthma attack, it should become clear of fleas as well as the arrival of the house.These remedies don't remove the vinegar by rubbing some catnip is a painful operation, in which case a fly strip above the bed or inside one of many varieties of fleas, you should always start out with her tail up and place him on the floor as well as a human being, up to shelters each year and your peace of mind knowing he is Number One in your cat feels better.Cats make adorable pets, they love to wander.

Cat Spraying How To Stop

Ready access to rooms, and even enjoy them very much.Ear infections and other infections answer to cat urine.Everyone should use a powder or spray it on horizontal or flat surfaces, e.g. the ground in the cover.However, it does not function for another.Has a member of your cat goes out on that spot.

Most landlords are dead set against allowing a dog can be.Cats don't need to share a home or even stop, your cat is probably due to a new kitten you should have one and it removes all of them can become fertile as soon as possible right now, and here you are someone to care for.It's said that they can eat, sleep and stand on as well.The Latin name for catnip is Nepeta cataria, and originally was grown as a reward in the 21 to 33 percent range.Some breed such as these are either Siamese or the aggression level is high, you should make it to learn a few extra cat supplies and this is a constant cause of your friends and neighbors for a poor little cat/kitten.

[drferox]

20 Questions with Dr Ferox #18

Finally sat down to work through 20 more questions. I know I’d been a bit behind for a while, but here comes a flurry of questions and comments. As usual I’ve tried to tag people that were brave enough to put their names on the questions, but if you were Anonymous you’ll have to look through manually.

@tenacious-brii said: Hi! I was wondering if you might have heard of the Orthopedic Foundation for Animals, and if you have, what you think of them. My understanding is they're working to implement a higher breeding standard to prevent inbreeding / continuation of genetic diseases and disorders (like hip dysplasia for example) It sounds like a worthy goal but maybe I am being hopelessly optimistic, lol. As for tax; Which pokemon would be your main companion? Thank you for all that you do!!

The OFA would love to implement higher standards for breeding dogs, but they can't actually enforce anything. All they can do is collect the data and make recommendations. They have some super interesting data on the frequency of hip and elbow dysplasia in dogs, but there are a few potential flaws.

Number one is that it's not compulsory for breeders to disclose their hip and elbow results. If they screen a dog with bad hips, for example, and simply choose not to send those results in, then the recorded 'breed average' will be 'better' than reality.

I do have a soft spot for Ivysaur.

savageborn said:  I met a pure bred St Bernard at work for the first time today (i work part time as a vet assistant at a small local clinic) and. I was taken aback. They're so big. I've never seen one in person before and im still just amazed. I wanted to share. He was very sweet just. So Big.

Yes, they are indeed very big. Super fun as puppies though, when at even their early puppy vaccination they're dwarfing adult dogs in the waiting room.

Anonymous said: Up until relatively recently (the 1980s!), it was widely accepted that human newborns didn't feel pain. I'm not surprised if that idea hasn't persisted when it comes to mice.

Gosh humans can be stubborn, self-centred and lacking in empathy, can't they? That was probably believed to make themselves feel a whole lot better about circumcision.

agender-fordmustang said: As a vet assistant, I find egg + meat chicken production to be very interesting, despite my disgust for birds who are bred so large they cant get up out of their own excreta. What's your favorite thing which you thought you'd hate?

I don't think I really expected to hate anything, I find most of biology genuinely fascinating. I find turkey semen collection a bit weird, but there's not much on the animal side I really hate.

Humans and the things we do are complicated. I wasn't really all that fond of humans when I started out, but have come to like a larger percentage of them over time.

Anonymous said: In regards to getting accepted to vet school, would you say grades were very important? Like would an A vs a B in a class make it or break it? Also do they look at extracurriculars as much as everyone tells me haha. Everyone loves to tell me how competitive vet school is and I've just started my undergrad education so I'm trying to evaluate my priorities! Thank you so much and thank you for running such a wonderful blog! <3

When I went through, and please remember it was over a decade ago when I was applying, they looked at your academic achievements first, and extracurriculars second, but if you didn't have any extracurricular experience with the veterinary industry you weren't looked on as favourably as if you did. By the interview stage, the professors had already more or less decided who they wanted as students, the interviews just sealed the deal and maybe bumped you higher or lower on the list.

Anonymous said: I have a condition where I have random and uncontrollable nose bleeds, at least once a day and lasting anywhere from a minute to an hour. I would like to have a job with animals or in the medical field but I am afraid my nose bleeds will be in excusable in a medical environment. Can someone like me work as a vet or other medical personal or am I better off finding something else?

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how to answer this. There are definitely medical, infectious and sanitary concerns with having unpredictable nosebleeds. I'm not even sure how you're managing outside of a clinical setting, and I'm sorry I can't be more help.

Anonymous said: hello! i recently got a kitten to accompany the cat i already have (they get along wonderfully!) I was wondering though, we feed our cat purina kibble and have been feeding the kitten canned fancy feast- im planning on incorporating more wet food into the older cat's diet because i know cats get a majority of hydration from their food. anyway i know that the brands we feed them arent ideal, but we dont have a lot of money for otherwise. do you have any advice on better brands perhaps?

Cats are perfectly capable of drinking water, but I don't give people food recommendations. That's a slippery slope that I wont go down.

bettsplendens said: Am I right in thinking that "meat by-products" in the context of cat food probably means organ meat and miscellaneous scraps rather than anything actually ominous?

More or less. It can include any part of the animal that isn't profitable to market as a labelled something for human consumption. So while it might include lots of organs, it's less likely to include hearts, liver and tripe, which can be sold separately, and may also include things like neck and cheek meat is those cuts are not popular locally, or just edges of things that nobody wanted.

Anonymous said: Why do dogs have really short hiccup attacks? Are they hiding hiccup curing secrets from us?!

Dogs can have longer hiccup attacks, but their diets are usually more regular and they're less likely to be overfed than we are. They usually grow out of hiccups in puppyhood.

Anonymous said: How about when I worked at a pet store, I had to dissuade a man who wanted a remote shock collar for his wife's 3lb Yorkie. The smallest collar we carried was rated for 10lbs minimum. He said they'd go out to check on their cattle, and the dog would jump out of his arms and race towards the cows. He said he was concerned a cow would hurt her, and he just needed "something that would drop 'er." I suggested a leash. He said, "Nah, she don't like leashes."

Humans are capable of astounding levels of foolishness.

Anonymous said: Our dog recently had to have a large patch shaved on her side due to a wound. She is double-coated, and I've always heard you shouldn't shave a double-coated dog because the coat won't grow back the same. Is this true? Obviously it's better that it was shaved or the vet wouldn't have done it, but I want to make sure this won't affect her ability to be in the sun in the future and all that jazz. (btw we love our vet to bits, but she can be a bit hard to reach for simple questions)

It will grow back eventually (assuming no endocrinopathies affecting the fur), but the guard hairs will take longer to grow back and look like they did before shaving. It's only a part of the dog that's been shaved, so unlikely to be an issue.

Anonymous: What sorts of things do vet assistants do on the job? (I'm trying to figure out if being a vet assistant is something I actually want to do or if I just think that I want to do it because I like animals) Also question tax, what's your favorite kind of flower? Thanks!

Considering Vet Assistant is not a regulated term here, it might be anything from a layperson with no training just doing what a vet instructs them to do, to being basically a vet nurse. I do not work with vet assistants, I work with trained vet nurses, so you will get a better answer asking someone who actually works under that title.

Anonymous said: Not sure if this has been asked already but one of my cat's tails vibrates and shakes. She does it all the time. I'm not necessarily concerned, but is this normal in cats?

It can be if the cat is highly stimulated or agitated.

Anonymous said: A short story for you: ever since he was little my cat has done the claw kneading thing to my hair and dribbles while doing it. It's so weird but now it's just normal to me. I assume it's just his quirk it's cute

A lot of cats will salivate while purring and kneading. It's probably a reflex left over from kittenhood, when they would knead their mother while suckling.

Anonymous said: I'm worried about my dog's bite since he is a show dog. So far he has the normal scissor bite but it seems like it's turning to a level bite. He has reached his adult height and is a bit over 1 year old. Are the jaws supposed to grow anymore?

Probably not but it might depends on breed and I can neither see nor examine your dog, and you are anonymous.

Anonymous said: question tax: for some reason i imagine that cattle really love you!? like just licking your face and trying to lay in your lap. i just get that vibe!! question: so my dog is missing a few molars for some reason. our vet says it isn't a problem and he eats perfectly well. it's got me thinking about the dogs that have missing teeth and end up with their tongues hanging out of their mouths. what causes that? my pup doesn't do it but there's a pretty obvious gap.

Dogs that are missing canine teeth often have tongues that deviate and pop out. It's more common in brachycephalic dogs, which have long tongues relative to their face anyway.

I miss cows.

Anonymous said: I work at a pet store and frequently have to deal with people who own wheezing pugs thinking "oh he just makes that sound when he's happy", do you have any advice for convincing them that their dog isn't healthy and needs to see a vet? Question tax: came for the vet stories, stayed for the vet stories, your blog is fantastic!

I tend to say something along the lines of how something might be common and been present for a long time, but that doesn't mean it's healthy. Or that something might have been normalised but that doesn't make it normal.

prepackagedsoul said:I've had two German Shepherds (so I've spent some time at the vet, like you said a lot went wrong with them but i did do everything possible to fix it) and for now I've switched over to cats and, holy shit? Like they're so hardy and long lasting my grandmother has a cat that is 20 years old. She also owns one of her kittens, and he's nineteen. They're both still pretty active too, so I guess I'll bury this cat when I'm forty if all goes well.

Cats are great. They want to live, they heal well, they're tough little buggers.

aquila-audax said: Steering away from vet medicine but still within the wonderful realm of the life sciences, do you have a favourite species/group of plants?

I am partial to foxgloves. Partly for their appearance, but also because I like foxy things and they're poisonous in a cool way.

vantastrophe said: Any fantasy authors you really enjoy? Looking for more books to read, I really like Neil Gaiman but that's the only author so far ? hope you're having a great week!

Terry Pratchett is my #1, forever and always.

[travelingtheusa]

TENNESSEE

2021 Apr 12 (Mon) – We ran a bunch of errands today.  We had to get fuel for the truck and pet food. PetCo did not have Sheba’s food so we stopped at The Fresh Market to get her food and some food items for us.  The store turned out to be small and didn’t have everything we wanted.  So, we had to stop at Kroger to get cat food and the rest of the food we wanted. Lunch was at the Blue Plate Café. I thought the pot roast was chewy but Paul enjoyed the meal.  When we returned to the campground, Paul finished up the wallpaper in the bedroom. It looks very good.  Now I need a different covering on the window treatment. And, so, it starts.  Lol.

Before:

After:

2021 Apr 11 (Sun) – We watched church services on Facebook. Afterward, we drove to Camping World to return a part Paul was not able to use in setting up the cell phone booster. We drove around trying to find a place to have lunch but we couldn’t find any place open and wound up just returning to the campground.  Paul got to work tearing off the old wallpaper in the bedroom and putting up the new paper.  It’s looking good.

2021 Apr 10 (Sat) – Bonnie is doing better.  The galliprant seems to be working for her.  She is still weak on her right side but she’s hardly limping.  We just have to be careful not to get her off balance and make sure she goes slowly up and down the stairs.  Old age sucks – for dogs as well as humans.

     A fierce thunderstorm rolled through early this morning.  We had storms last night from about 8 to 11 p.m. accompanied by the usual tornado warnings.  The storm this morning was so strong that one lightning boom literally lifted me out of the bed.  When the lightning flashed, you could see it through your closed lids.  Sheba must have been going crazy!

     My sister, Susan, is having surgery on her knee and asked if I could come stay for a week or two to help her out.  So I called my cancer doctor to reschedule my PET scan.  I was going to go home May 1 to May 12.  Now it looks like I’ll be flying back on May 16 and staying through Memorial Day.  Susan’s surgery is set for May 17.

     We got aggravated with not being able to get online to check out campsites.  We decided to buy a cell booster and drove to Camping World in Olive Branch in Mississippi (just across the border) to buy a King cell phone booster antenna.  It was $499!  Ugh.  We also picked up two camp chairs since ours are starting to fall apart.  

     Lunch was going to be at the Brass Door Irish Pub in Memphis.  After paying for 3 hours parking in Memphis, we walked a couple of blocks to the restaurant only to find it has been closed for the last year.  We then walked back toward the truck and stopped to eat at the Blue Plate Café Downtown. That was closed indefinitely. Next door was the River Time Café. It was a tiny deli but had a robust menu.  We both got sandwiches with potato salad.  We had to sit outside at one of two tables.  The proprietor said she was not allowed to have people in her shop.  While sitting outside waiting for her to bring out our meal (it’s down south and the wait was very long), an older man came stumbling by and started talking to us.  He was very difficult to understand but we understood that he was drunk and had come to get something to eat to soak the booze up.  At first, I thought he was going to panhandle but he just wanted to talk.  Then he went into the café and picked up his pre-ordered meal.  Finally, our sandwiches came out.  They were delicious.  The owner also gave us a free banana nut muffin because we waited patiently for so long.  That was nice.

 2021 Apr 9 (Fri) – We drove to the vet this morning to drop Bonnie off.  She is getting a test today to see if she has Cushings Disease.  She has had increased thirst, difficulty walking with a weakness on her right side (especially the back leg), and it seems like she has to pee more often.  Could be age related.  It might not. They will give her a shot of cortisol and check her blood at 8 a.m., noon, and 4 p.m.  If she makes more cortisol then she’s got the disease.  If she doesn’t make more cortisol, then she doesn’t have Cushings.  We have our fingers crossed.

     After dropping her off (we had to wait outside for someone to come get her – they’re not letting anyone inside), we went to the Blue Plate Café for breakfast.  It was a cute little place, bright and inviting.  The food was very good, too.  

     Next stop was at Lowe’s.  Paul peeled the wall covering off in the bedroom.  It’s been coming off almost from the day we bought the camper. Now we are looking for a new wallpaper. We found a pattern we like.  We’ll see how it looks.

     We made a quick stop at the Fresh Market.  I am out of Vitamin C and looking for more.  We thought it was a health food type store but it was just a regular supermarket.  I picked up a few items but no vitamins.

     When we got back to the campground, we drove over to the Chucalissa Village in the park.  It is an area where Choctaw tribes lived there hundreds of years ago.  There is a mound and a replica house built on the site. A small museum tells the story of the area, both of the park itself and of the inhabitants who lived here.  The old site was actually discovered by CCC workers who were building a pool for the first all Negro park in the state. It is now run by the University of Memphis.

     At 4:45 p.m. we drove back into town to get Bonnie.  The vet came out to talk to us.  She said the test was negative.  Bonnie does not have Cushings Disease.  She couldn’t see any reason for her leg problems and surmised that it is arthritis.  She told us to continue with the Galliprant and bring her back if things get worse.

     We found something very fascinating.  It is a Smart Mart.  It’s like a new version of the automat.  You pull up, touch a screen, shop for different grocery items, pay and your items are given to you in a big drawer.  There was a delivery truck there filling up the mart when we stopped.

 2021 Apr 8 (Thu) – We wanted to go to the Cotton Museum but it was closed due to the pandemic.  We then drove to the National Ornamental Metal Museum.  Although their website said they opened at 10 a.m., they were closed with a sign out front saying they open at 11 a.m.  So we drove around Memphis for an hour.  Saw Beale Street (Home of the Blues) in its quiet state; i.e. with no partymakers at night.  Paul says they are trying to be like New Orleans.  I don’t think so.  New Orleans is different.  It is the place for jazz music.  Memphis is blues music.  The city is confusing with lots of closed off streets for renovations or construction. As you get further outside the city, the buildings are old, dilapidated, spray painted with graffiti.  Many homes have bars on the windows and doors.

     We tried to go to the Mississippi River Museum but it wasn’t where Trip Advisor said it should be.  We stopped at the Visitors Center and were told they moved the museum to Mud Island and it has been closed for the past year and a half.  We went back to the Metal Museum and they were open. The most delightful part of the tour was the exhibit by international artists.  They took a 155mm steel bar and made all kinds of things from it.  It was fascinating to see how imaginative people can be.

     After the Metal Museum, we drove to the post office and dropped off all the envelopes we prepared.  Then we went to the Bass Pro Shops Giant Pyramid for lunch at Uncle Bucks Restaurant. They have rooms up on the second and third level.  So the store is also a hotel.  Paul bought a flannel shirt.  We looked for new camp chairs but couldn’t find what we wanted.

     On the way back to the campground, we stopped at Kroger Supermarket and picked up some groceries.  The camp host told us that the campground will be full this weekend. Although many RVs have come in, it is not full.  Either he can’t count or some of the campsites are not usable.  Whatever.

2021 Apr 7 (Wed) – We spent the day working on the mass mailing for SMART.  There were 32 duplicate addresses and 32 companies that did not have envelopes.  I typed labels for the missing companies and stuck them over the duplicate addresses.  Saved a lot of work (Paul’s suggestion).  We finished folding the letters, inserting them in the envelopes, and putting the return address labels and stamps on all the envelopes.  We just have to deliver them to the post office.

     The vet called this morning.  Bonnie’s liver enzymes are high.  She thinks Bonnie might have Cushings Disease.  We will drop her off at the vet on Friday so they can do some tests. In the meantime, Bonnie is having a very difficult time walking.  She fights getting up if she doesn’t have to.  We have resorted to using the special stairs we bought for our last dog to help her get in and out of the trailer easier.  It seems to be helping Bonnie.

      We packed up the trailer today and Paul drove over to the dump station to empty the tanks. I sat at the campsite with Bonnie because she was in too bad shape.  It took him 20 minutes then he was back and we got all hooked up again.  Good for another week.

 2021 Apr 6 (Tue) – We took Bonnie to the vet this morning.  We had to sit outside while they took her inside. The vet called on the phone and we talked about Bonnie’s history and issues.  She didn’t find anything obvious wrong with her foot.  Thinks it might be arthritis.  She took blood and will call us tomorrow.

      We left the vet and went looking for a fast food place for lunch. We stopped at a Burger King. There were six cars on line in front of us but were still on line for over half an hour.  It was the slowest fast food joint I’ve ever been to!  The junior whoppers were small and the fries were not even warm.  At least Bonnie enjoyed her burger.

     We went back to Office Depot to pick up the copies.  The service – again! – was so damn slow.  When the clerk finally waited on me, she asked if I had gotten an email saying the project was ready.  I replied that it was agreed upon yesterday that I would be back today.  With a sigh, she went to search on the shelves.  After about 5 minutes, she found my print job.

     When we got back to the campground, Bonnie’s back leg was giving out on her.  She could barely walk and kept sitting down and refusing to move any further.  I called the vet to ask if she had examined Bonnie’s other legs or just her hurt foot.  After some discussion, the vet said we’d wait to see what the bloodwork shows. The results should be back tomorrow.

     I took the mailing list I got from the Muster Master (who got it from the Chamber of Commerce in Shawnee, Oklahoma) and struggled through printing 360 envelopes.  Our printer is not a high capacity printer.  It took me hours to get them all printed.  The program kept shutting down and I would have to restart it.  In the meantime, Paul started folding the letters to insert in the envelopes.

 2021 Apr 5 (Mon) – The cell service at this campground is sooooo bad!  Even my phone isn’t working right and often drops to 3G with one bar.  It drops calls like crazy.  Getting on anything beyond standard email with the laptop is almost impossible.  Twelve days of this will be maddening.

     We drove to CVS to get Paul’s first COVID-19 shot.  On the way, we got an email saying his appointment had been cancelled.  We decided to just go in anyway and play dumb.  It worked.  Old people and technology is a recognized disability.  Lol.

     After the drugstore, we drove to Olive Garden to get lunch.  It appeared that they were repairing fire damage. Nothing to eat there.  We then tried another restaurant but it looked too high class.  We stopped at Seasons 52 Grill, which looked moderate from the outside but once we got inside – va, va, va, voom!  Very expensive.  We spent over $100.  Oh, well, what’s money for except to spend?  The lunch was excellent.

     We drove over to the Agricenter to look at the campground.  We will be going there after the rally in Arkansas and wanted to check out the best entry point.  It has a large campground but the spaces are a little too close.  Oh, well. It will be home for Paul when I fly back to New York next month.

      We stopped at Office Depot to drop of letters for copying.  I volunteered to be the Administrative Chairperson for the SMART 2021 National Muster.  One of my jobs is soliciting donations.  So I drafted a letter and attachment, got approval, then brought it to Office Depot to make 365 copies of each one.  I also gave them copies of return address labels to make up.  I don’t if it’s a “down south” thing, but the service was so frickin’ slow.  We were there almost an hour just to drop off the originals.  I said I’d be back tomorrow to pick up the copies.

     Bonnie has been favoring her front, right paw.  She started limping on it yesterday so I called a vet today and made an appointment to bring her in tomorrow.  The paw got worse over the day and now you can see her paw is swollen.  Hope they can figure out what’s wrong and fix it.

 2021 Apr 4 (Sun - Easter) – We managed to dial into the church service this morning.  It’s nice to be able to share the service with our congregation back home.

     I walked around the campground today.  Most the campsites are empty.  A lot of campers left today.  I would have thought they’d stay for the weekend.  Guess I was wrong.  We stayed in today.  Paul repaired the AC and we did the laundry.  It was a very nice day.  The trees are a brilliant green and the buds are in full bloom.  The sky was an incredible blue and the temperature reached the high 60s.  It was a beautiful Easter day.  We got to skype with both Travis and Miranda.  That make the day perfect!

 2021 Apr 3 (Sat) – We wasted 20 minutes this morning trying to get the Sunday service streaming on the iPad before we realized it was Saturday. Lol.  There are not nearly as many RVs in the campground as I thought there would be.  Over half left today.  I have never seen so many tiny trailers in the campground at a time.  There’s a teardrop trailer, an A-Line pyramid shaped camper, a Scottie, a couple of tiny trailers, and several tents.  

     The day was pleasant.  It started out cold in the 40s but warmed to the mid-60s.  The sky was clear and a brilliant blue and there was hardly any wind. There was a terrible odor in the air. At first, we thought it was the smell of campers dumping their tanks but it lingered too long.  There must be a waste plant somewhere nearby.  

 2021 Apr 2 (Fri) – Sure was glad we had that electric blanket on last night!  We are under a freeze warning for a few days.  We drove back down to Southaven, MS to get dog food at Petco and cat food at Kroger.  Picked up some people food, too, while we were at it.  Stopped at Southaven RV Super Center where Paul was able to buy a replacement for a broken part in the AC.  Not that we need AC right now, but (hopefully) soon.  It also operates the heat pump, which we DO need right now.  We have been keeping warm enough with the fireplace, the furnace, and a small electric heater.  On the way back, we spotted a pup up on the side of the highway. We stopped and shooed it away. Down the embankment, the mama dog and two other pups were skittering around.  They were clearly unowned canines.  We were glad we could chase the pup off the roadway and keep it from getting run over.

     We stopped at Memphis BBQ for lunch.  The meal was not that good.  Paul’s pulled pork was bland and my burnt tips were dry.  The restaurant was very busy and service was understandably slow.  

     The day turned out to be nice although the temperature never got out of the 50s.  The skies were clear and deep blue.  We’ve been watching RVs come in all day.  This is a holiday weekend and the campground is going to be full.

 2021 Apr 1 (Thu) – We packed up and left Fulton, MS at 10 a.m. It was 135 miles to Memphis, TN. We are staying in the T.O. Fuller State Park Campground.  There are lots of woods around and plenty to see in Memphis.  The sites have a good amount of space between them.  The roads and campsites are asphalt.  We have electric and water hookups.  We will have to go dump after a week because there is no sewer hookup and we won’t be able to last 12 days without filling the tanks.

     It got real cold last night and we pulled out the electric blanket. Imagine!  Needing the electric blanket down south in April.  We watched the Holy Thursday service from our church streaming on Facebook.  We also facetimed with Paul’s sister, Joan, about our cruise to Australia in January.

[poop4u]

Have a Restless Dog? Here’s How to Help Him

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The post Have a Restless Dog? Here’s How to Help Him by Melissa L. Kauffman appeared first on Dogster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren't considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Dogster.com.

Have you ever wondered, “Why is my dog restless, especially at night?” That’s the question we asked ourselves over and over again, as our dog Tampa got restless every night and sometimes during the day. Our restless dog paces, going from room to room. He gets out of bed and drinks water, then paces, then goes outside through the doggie door, then comes back in and paces some more. He keeps both us and himself awake at night — it’s not a good situation for anyone involved! There are so many reasons that could factor into your dog’s restlessness. Here’s our journey with our restless dog — and what helped us all get some sleep.

For starters, determine if your restless dog is truly restless — or if there’s something else at play

What could be at play if you have a restless dog, like our Tampa? Photography courtesy of Melissa L. Kauffman.

First off, to rule out a medical issue, we took Tampa to the veterinarian. I would have loved to have a quick diagnosis, but no. We had to take several tests and we are still methodically working our way through them. (The only key issue was that his liver ALP level kept getting higher with no signs of stopping, no matter what we did.) We also talked to our behaviorist. Again, there was no quick diagnosis. Tampa had multiple behavior and medical issues going on and it could be any one of them or a combination. We ended up making changes in a number of areas.

There are many reasons that might be at play when it comes to a restless dog, and here are some of them that applied to Tampa. Not only do I include what my husband and I did, I’ve also added some tips given to us by Dogster readers via Facebook who have also dealt with — and helped — a restless dog.

1. Is your restless dog anxious?

A restless dog might be anxious. Tampa has always been a little nervous since we adopted him from the rescue as a pup. He is also noise phobic to really loud sounds like fireworks or sirens. We adopted a new parrot this past year (Tampa has been around parrots all of his life), and this parrot’s scream pitch hurts Tampa’s ears. So, Tampa is always on high alert awaiting the scary bird scream — even though our parrot has never screamed in the evening or at night. This added stress could cause factor into his restlessness.

We discussed Tampa’s nervousness with our veterinarian. He put Tampa on a calming supplement. I give him the supplement at night about half an hour before bed, so it kicks in when we are all trying to sleep. We’ve also tried pheromone products.

We discussed Tampa’s parrot noise phobia with our dog behaviorist. On her advice, during the day we keep the door to my husband’s “man room” — located above the garage — open. This way, Tampa knows he has a “safe space” to go. He can go to this room when he wants to get away from the parrot screaming so he can self soothe. Of course, we also worked with Pi-Pi — our parrot — to lessen the screaming (which wasn’t that much to begin with). Further, the behaviorist had me stop going on high alert if the parrot yelled. I have to act like it was nothing and allow Tampa to self soothe. My anxiety about his anxiety was causing him more anxiety. (Simple, huh?)

When Tampa is feeling anxious, we’ll also wrap him in a blanket. Swaddling or using a pressure shirt like the Thundershirt has helped some dogs feel less anxious. Tampa likes being wrapped in a blanket, especially at night when he’s sleeping.

Other tips to try if you have a restless dog and anxiety is the culprit: 

Dogster reader Dana Oaks has found that CBD pet treats helps. “My dog has no more sleeping issues,” she says.

Another suggestion was the supplement melatonin, a naturally occurring hormone found in humans and animals, which can help with anxiety. Patty Evans tells Dogster that she gives her dog melatonin per her vet.

Vinnee Vashistha’s dog sleeps with a Teddy bear at night to calm him down.

Heather Nelder uses the dietary supplement Cholodin for her dog who has Sundowner Syndrome.

2. Is your restless dog a senior or a puppy?

We took Tampa along with us when we volunteered for the Richard Sheltra Memorial 10K to cheer on the runners. Keeping Tampa’s mind and body active helps keep him healthy and less restless in his seniors years. Photography courtesy of Melissa L. Kauffman.

Is your restless dog a puppy or senior dog? Puppies can be a little anxious at night, missing their pack of puppies or mother or be a little anxious about a new place or just have to go potty.

Tampa is a small dog, 11 going on 12, so he is a senior dog. Our veterinarian said our restless dog problem might be related to age — a little doggie dementia.

So, we worked on keeping Tampa’s mind active. I have gotten more disciplined about taking Tampa on three walks a day, where I give him plenty of sniffing time to keep his mind and senses active. We also give Tampa new experiences like going camping and to other non-taxing events to keep him alert and stave off boredom.

Our veterinarian also gave us a supplement that supports overall mind and body wellness. We give this to Tampa with his dinner. There are a variety of senior dog mental alertness supplements out there now, if it is something you’d also like to try for your restless dog.

Tampa sleeps in bed with us. We started shutting the door to our bedroom at night. This prevented Tampa from walking around the house pacing all night. For some senior dogs and cats, keeping them in a smaller area helps them from becoming confused about where they are. I don’t think this is the issue with Tampa, but keeping him in the bedroom allows us to monitor any worsening or improvement with his restlessness, plus keeps him from getting into mischief during his night pacings. I had lost several magazines and some new books to his nighttime chewing.

3. Does your restless dog have arthritis?

Tampa has arthritis in his legs and back. Arthritis is another possible answer to why you have a restless dog. This condition causes physical discomfort, which can also make your dog not want to lie down. Although I don’t believe this is causing the restlessness, I now give both of my dogs, who have some arthritis in the spine, a little massage at night and in the morning to ease any discomfort. Both dogs are also on a supplement for joints.

4. Is your restless dog hearing things at night — or losing his hearing?

This can go two ways. Either your dog has excellent hearing and he’s hearing small critters in the night, which is keeping him awake and restless, or your dog’s hearing is not great anymore and it makes him a little jumpy. Tampa is losing his hearing and it definitely makes him a little more anxious and more hyper alert and watchful to compensate. We did have a small mouse problem over the winter this year, but Tampa never heard them, only I did, so I know this wasn’t an issue.

5. Is your restless dog hungry?

We believe Tampa’s biggest restless dog issue was hunger. He was already overweight, so this was a big challenge. Photography courtesy of Melissa L. Kauffman.

This is a big one for us. Tampa is constantly hungry — which is a problem. He paces about every hour wanting food. This is not uncommon. A restless dog might be hungry due to a health issue, not getting enough food or not getting the right kind of food.

Again, we went to the vet to rule out a medical condition and we are still going through the testing process. There are some dog diseases like Cushing’s that cause increased hunger. (Tampa doesn’t have it.) I’ll let you know if we find out a medical condition is causing Tampa’s restlessness and hunger. We already have an appointment with a specialist and will be doing an ultrasound. (We’ve already done blood work and a radiograph.)

Regarding diet, we did change Tampa to a special prescription diet because of concerns about his liver, which definitely made his hunger worse. Because Tampa gained so much weight on the prescription diet, we kept his servings small, but he hasn’t lost the weight. We finally decided because we were feeding him so much less than the recommended amount that we would increase his food intake by giving him three small meals throughout the day, now feeding him right before bedtime. This extra feeding has helped his food anxiety. He’s less likely to wake up looking for food than before, but it hasn’t completely made him a less restless dog. We also have tried giving him some pumpkin before bed, hoping the high fiber might fill up his stomach a little more without packing on the pounds.

We plan on talking to a dog nutritionist next to discuss his weight gain and hunger issues, and to adjust his diet to one that appeases his hunger more.

6. Is your restless dog thirsty?

Tampa was definitely experiencing increased thirst. Again, this is a restless dog issue caused by a medical condition. We thought Tampa had Cushing’s disease because of some concerns with his blood work and all of his symptoms. However, it turns out he had a urinary infection. If your dog has increased thirst, make sure this is the first thing you rule out with your veterinarian. Because we thought it was something else, we didn’t do the urine test until our second appointment. Once this was cleared up, Tampa definitely drank a little less water during the night, but it still didn’t make him a less restless dog.

7. Does your restless dog have to potty at night?

When Tampa constantly went out the doggie door to go potty, we knew a medical issue could be the problem. Photography courtesy of Melissa L. Kauffman.

Having to go to the bathroom at night happens to puppies, senior dogs and even adult dogs — hey, even us humans. A restless dog might just not be able to hold it … and that could be a medical issue or it’s just because of age for a puppy or senior dog.

In our case, Tampa is a senior dog and sometimes 8 hours is too long for him to go without the potty. We have a doggie door, so this wouldn’t be an issue for us, except we keep the bedroom door shut to keep him from pacing around the house. Getting up once to let him out is fine. We love him, and it gives us a chance for a potty break, too.

8. Is your restless dog too hot or too cold?

Both puppies and senior dogs, small and short-haired breeds, plus brachycephalic breeds (smoosh-faced dogs), are affected by heat and cold. If you have a restless dog, he could be either too hot or too cold. Tampa is a senior dog, and we definitely noticed he went from being like a camel — not affected by heat at all — to being sensitive to it. At night, sometimes he would pant and get up to drink water. I started making the room a little cooler at night, which definitely has stopped the panting.

Dogster reader Lyn Holmes tells Dogster that she uses a hot water bottle in the bed for her Chihuahua, who sleeps with her. “We get in, I move the hot water bottle over and we snuggle down,” she says. “Plus he has a blanket on top of the duvet to snuggle in if he gets too warm in the bed. He has a bowl of water and a bowl of kibble down, and he will occasionally have a midnight snack, I get woken up by his crunching.”

Dogster reader Emma Warrington adds, “Make sure they’re warm. Cover with a blanket or invest in a house coat. It gets cold at night, still.”

9. Is your restless dog getting enough exercise?

Dogs can sometimes be restless if they aren’t given enough exercise during the day. We walk Tampa and Justice three times a day, once before bedtime. Photography courtesy Melissa L. Kauffman.

Like a human, a restless dog might not get enough exercise during the day to run off his excess energy. Keeping your dog busy and active during the day is key to good physical and mental health. As exercise helps us all sleep better, my husband and I now give our dogs a nice long walk at night about an hour before bedtime. A tired dog is less likely to be a restless dog.

Dogster reader Sylvia Knutson-Barr concurs. “A nice long walk before bedtime to tire him out” helps her with her restless dog.

Brenda Rogers tells us her dog doesn’t get restless because “she’s so busy all day, she’s exhausted. She’s the best.”

Brianna Benton add some weights to her dog’s walk. She suggests “walking with side saddle bags filled with enough weight for your dog to handle. Maybe put water bottles in them.” (Just like with humans talking to their doctors before using weights, always check with your veterinarian about adding weights to your dog’s exercise regime in case she has any concerns and weight limit suggestions.)

However, Dogster reader Anne Chang does warn, “Don’t get them excited at least an hour before bedtime. Just chill and do your thing. Leave them on their own.”

10. Can a restless dog be restless … simply out of habit?

One thing we’ve noticed about our dog Tampa is that once he learns something, it’s hard for him to unlearn it. For example, every Fourth of July when fireworks go off at night, it takes us about three months to convince Tampa that nighttime doesn’t mean loud noises. Tampa learns a lot of what behaviorists call a behavioral chain.

Whatever has made Tampa restless at night, Tampa has now learned that this is how to react to it. Re-teaching him that nighttime is for sleeping takes a lot of effort. If we know he’s not thirsty, doesn’t have to go to the bathroom or has just eaten and he’s restless at night, my husband just puts him back on the bed and puts his blanket on him. Usually this settles him back down.

The bottom line on helping a restless dog

If you have a restless dog, please try to respond to this with love and patience. This can be hard to do when you aren’t getting enough sleep. I know people who have shut the dog out of the bedroom so they don’t have to hear the dog pacing, but then they can’t monitor the dog and if the problem is anxiety, it can make the behavior of your restless dog worse.

There are many reasons that factor into a restless dog, and these are just some of them that we felt might be contributing to our dog’s restlessness. If you have a restless dog, go through this list and see if you can make some tweaks to your dog’s daily schedule. Some will work for your dog and your family and some won’t. It’s not uncommon for humans to sleep less and get restless at night as they get older, so it’s not a surprise that it happens to some dogs, too. My husband and I — knowing that Tampa would wake us up during the night — would sometimes go to bed earlier to get enough sleep.

Getting a veterinarian and dog behaviorist to help is key, especially if it is a medical issue or anxiety issue. Be patient, as a medical diagnosis could take a while, especially getting in to see a specialist and waiting for test results. Tampa has had this issue for a good six months, and we are still trying to figure it out. If you have any tips for how you helped your restless dog, we would love to hear them in the comments below. Making these changes have helped us go from Tampa waking up four or five times in the night to just one time. That’s a big difference!

Thumbnail: Photography © Kosheleva_Kristina | iStock / Getty Images Plus.

About the Author

Covering the pet world for more than 25 years, Melissa L. Kauffman has been an editor/writer for a wide variety of pet magazines and websites from the small critters to parrots to cats and dogs. Her advisory team of rescued pets — dogs Tampa Bay and Justice and parrots Deacon and Pi-Pi — help keep her on top of the latest and greatest pet health research, training and products, anything to give keep them in the high life they are accustomed to. Follow Tampa and his crew on Instagram @tampa.bay.pup.report while Melissa can always be found working on the next issue of Catster and Dogster magazines at caster.com and dogster.com.

Read more about dog behavior on Dogster.com:

My Dog Stares at Me — Is That Normal?

Is Your Dog Hiding? What to Do About It

5 Dog-Walking Problems & Solutions

The post Have a Restless Dog? Here’s How to Help Him by Melissa L. Kauffman appeared first on Dogster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren't considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Dogster.com.

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https://poop4u/blog May 6, 2019 at 11:13AM DMT.NEWS, @Melissa L. Kauffman, @pooop4u

[therealjammy]

An Old Friend, A New One

For @pota-totoo. This fic was totally inspired by one of your tweets in which you said Shaw would outlive Bear. So I had to write a little something on it. But there’s a surprise for you in here and I hope you like it! 

Warning: Major character death. 

1.

Bear was perched by her leg, his chin resting on her boot and chocolate, watery eyes wandering from person to person and dog to dog. His tail thumped happily and his tongue lolled from his mouth, getting droplets of saliva on Shaw’s shoe. He hadn’t been in a mood to chase his ball for a little bit, but Shaw could understand that. Like him, her body was slowing down too. But that didn’t stop her from going on missions and shooting bad guys and getting to blow things up. With Bear, it was a little bit of a different story. He couldn’t walk as far and slept for hours on and off during the day. He was getting arthritis in his joints. There were patches of white fur on his chest and snout and around his eyes. Shaw teased him from time to time about having grey hair and he would look at her as if to say you have some too.

           They walked home together, Shaw slowing her pace so he could keep up. He was wobbling a bit but looked happily up at her. When they were home she scratched behind his ears as he lay in his dog bed, eyes closed and head pressing into the touch. He liked to hear how good he was; each time Shaw murmured the phrase his tail would beat against the side of the bed or the bookshelf.

           “Get some sleep, buddy. You look pretty tired.”

 2.

In his last days, he was as loving as he was the very first time Shaw had met him. He slept between her and Root on the bed, head pillowed on one of their legs for most of the night. He greeted them when they came in the door, wobbling over and nearly stumbling into things because of a cataract in one eye. His appetite was as big as Root’s. He rotated between them on movie nights for pets and ear scratches and still begged for people food even though his stomach wouldn’t be able to handle it. But towards the end of his life an illness befell him, resulting in many trips to different vets across the city in order to diagnose it.

           “Unfortunately,” said the fifth vet, clipping more X-rays to the lightbox, “your tough guy’s got cancer. It’s already spread to multiple places, as you can see here,” she pointed to the stomach and the liver. “Surgery is an option but there may not be much we can do otherwise.”

           Root chewed on her nails. Her left hand was buried in his warm ruff, shaking slightly. Shaw was studying the X-rays, arms crossed over her chest.

           “I can give you some time to think things over,” the vet said gently. “I’ll come back in a bit.”

           The door shut softly behind her and Root let out a shaky breath.

           “We can afford the surgery and the other bills,” Shaw told her. “I think it may be worth a shot.”

           “Okay,” Root said, nodding, pressing her lips repeatedly to Bear’s head and letting the tip of his tongue grace her nose. “Yeah.” She hadn’t expected to love him this much, so overwhelmed with the thought of him leaving forever. Everything aged but if she had one superpower in the world it would be to make him immortal.

           The vet came back five minutes later, her black uniform covered in orange cat hair. “Wild cat back there,” she commented, making Root smile a bit. “So, have you made a decision?”

           The surgery was scheduled for Tuesday of next week. The Machine cleared their schedules for two weeks in case things went amiss. She told Root the odds of survival in elderly dogs to make her feel a little better and promised to watch over him while he stayed at the vet for two days recovering. By the end of it the vet—whose name they now knew was Autumn—gave them a call and said he made it out okay and was coming around from the anaesthesia. Would they be free to visit him tomorrow morning?

           By the time they made it the office was filled with waiting people with cats, dogs, and even parrots that squawked and repeated phrases. The resident cat, Lucille, jumped in Shaw’s lap and made herself at home until she had to get up to go to the room where Bear was waiting for them. The shut door blocked out the noise and they were enveloped in a quiet, cool room, Bear’s tail wagging despite the cone fastened around his neck to keep from licking the stitches on his stomach.

           “Hey bud,” Shaw said. He licked her palm and nuzzled his nose into Root’s elbow. “You doing okay?”

           Autumn came in a moment later, looking pleased. “He can go home tomorrow,” she said. “I’ve prepared some ointment that you can rub on the stitches and given you antibiotics to mix with his food or treats. Just make sure he doesn’t lick them.”

 3.

Root pored over the vet bills and wrote checks to pay them off, taking from the bank account she’d set up a while ago for normal expenses. Her hand shook when she signed each one with a cover signature, one the Machine had made sure was completely thorough. Bear’s condition had worsened slightly and after several back and forth calls between Shaw and Autumn the conclusion was reached that there wasn’t much to do except keep him comfortable and try to keep his pain level down.

           Shaw had set up an air mattress on the floor by Bear’s bed so she could keep an eye on him during the night. Sometimes the mattress would bounce and wake Root up and other time she would wake up during hours where Shaw soothed him through pain or dreams. But even if he was losing weight and looking worse for wear there was still that spark in his eyes, that happy look in them like he wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.

           There was a day where he couldn’t get out of bed. Autumn did house calls as well and came bearing a travel kit, red hair up in a bun and blue latex gloves on as soon as she’d stepped through the door and into Shaw’s apartment. He was calm throughout the examination and, when it was done, moved his head closer to Shaw and Root’s hands, pressing into their touches. Soft whines escaped his throat.

           “He’s hanging on,” Autumn said, packing away her stethoscope, a solemn look on her face. “He’s in pain, though. I don’t know if you want to let him hang on a little bit longer or…” She trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished. Her eyes darted between Shaw and Root, taking in the thoughtful expression on Shaw’s face and the upset face of Root, who was biting the inside of her cheek to keep something inside.

           “Let me make a call,” Shaw said, rising from her crouch. She went into the bedroom to call Lionel and John, telling them the news and asking their advice.

           “I’ll be there in a few,” John told her. Rustling on his end was a sign of him rushing out the door.

           “Yeah, of course I’ll be there,” Fusco said. “Gotta say goodbye to the big guy, right?”

           When they arrived it was early evening and the sun was beginning to sink lower in the sky. It cast golden light in Shaw’s living room, shining warmly on Bear’s bed. His tail wagged and wagged when he saw John and, when Lionel gave his ears a scratch, he licked his palm. Autumn introduced herself and explained the process of putting an animal under, keeping an impressive composure even though there were tears making her hazel eyes glassy.

           “He’ll go right to sleep and the heart will stop in two minutes or so. I’ll need you to put some towels down; often the bowels release.”

           Once he was comfortable Shaw spoon fed him a bit of peanut butter. “One for the road,” she said, scratching behind an ear as he eagerly licked the stuff away and smacked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. She set her hand on Root’s leg and fingers wove between hers. Root kissed his head several times. John pet the base of his skull. Lionel got licks to the hand. He was looking at all of them with his happy eyes even after the stuff was administered via IV. He gave Root a last kiss on the nose and leaned his head into Shaw’s hands.

 4.

Life was significantly empty for a little while. An absence of colour existed and maybe a lack of love, too. The world felt strange when Bear wasn’t there to greet them at the door after the end of a long day, wasn’t there on their walks in Central Park or in the backs of cars when they were meeting John or Lionel at a dog-friendly restaurant to sit outside in the city ambience. The loss was equivalent to losing a good friend. You didn’t know what to do with yourself for a little while but you had to move on somehow, bury yourself in things that would take your mind off the loss, but not forget about anything. Remember all the good memories, laugh at the stories.

           “Remember when he nearly bit that guy’s arm in half?”

           “Or dragged Root across the subway because he saw a rat?”

           “That was once, Sameen.”

           “I remember messing up commands and having him jump on my desk and then knock everything off when getting down.”

           I have memories of his loyalty and love, the Machine chimed in. I grew attached to him too.

 5.

It was a rainy July day, the heat from earlier still present in the air despite the cold droplets that fell from the sky. Shaw had just finished a mission where she and Root destroyed a leftover Samaritan server farm with bullets and plenty of C-4 and a few scratches to take home as souvenirs. She’d requested dinner from the Chinese takeout place down the street from her apartment and a short walk in the park by herself.

           “Take your time, Sameen,” Root had said when there was a lull in conversation from the other side of the phone. “It’ll be here when you get back.”

           Shaw settled herself on a bench on the walk path. This time of night the park was relatively deserted save for joggers enjoying the cool and rainy weather and lovers strolling underneath black and blue umbrellas. The rain created a soothing ambience, reminding her of quiet nights on missions in different countries and of quiet nights with Root, with Bear lying at their feet. He’d lived a good life, spoiled until his last moments, surrounded by people who cared for him and filled with so much life and love. Shaw closed her eyes and leaned her head back to the rain, letting it kiss her face. If there was an afterlife, she thought, she hoped he was chasing balls and Frisbees and rats and eating all the peanut butter and bacon cupcakes he pleased.

           When the sky was significantly darker she headed home. There was a strange feeling swimming inside her chest, one that was familiar but unnameable. The rain was soaking into her hair and clothes and her stomach was growling.

           Warmth enveloped her when she returned home. She wrung her hair out in the shower and changed into dry clothes, a tank top and sweatpants. She kept her socks on to keep her toes warm. She emerged from the bedroom with her hair down and was met outside the door by a wriggling creature. It took her a moment to realise it was a puppy, whining and clawing at her leg. She stared at its eyes, happy and brown like coffee, the little pink tongue and little wet, black nose. The little stubby tail wagging back and forth.

           “Root,” Shaw said, not looking at her, “what is this?”

           “He’s a surprise.” She was tearing open cartons of Chinese and opening a new bottle of bourbon that they would christen in new glasses. “It’s been a few months. I figured it was time.”

           Shaw bent down and picked the puppy up. It licked at her chin and mouth and nose, yipping happily. A little collar dangled around its neck, the gold nametag already bearing a name. Hugo.

           “Did he come with this name?” Shaw asked. The puppy wriggled in her arms and she scratched behind its little ears.

           “I named him. You know,” Root added, “like the author who wrote Les Miserables.”

           Shaw snorted. “I doubt you’ve even read the book.”

           “Part of it.” Root handed Shaw a glass of bourbon when Hugo was placed on the floor. He scampered after Shaw, little claws scraping the wood floor. “It was when I was a PhD student for a week.”

           Later that night, Hugo’s warm body was nestled between their shoulders, already curled up and sleeping. His breathing came in slow quarter notes, warm puppy breath caressing Shaw’s shoulder. She wondered if Bear looked similar as a puppy.

           “Do you like him?” Root asked.

           “I think so.” Shaw stared at him a little longer. “He better not chew my boots.”

           “I already got him a brand new pair to sharpen those teeth on,” Root smiled. “And puppy training pads.”

           Shaw reached over to cup Root’s face. “You didn’t have to, you know,” she murmured.

           Root kissed her palm. “I know. But I wanted to. We were missing him and I know Hugo won’t be the same, but I’m sure we’ll care for him just as much.”

           The next morning warm sunlight streamed through the large windows and Shaw woke up with Root’s head on her shoulder, her arm thrown over her waist, and Hugo sleeping soundly on her stomach. He sensed that she was awake and cracked open his eyes. Somehow he looked at her like she was familiar.