#very on track to reach my goal of forever alone by year's end bless

[minijenn]

New chapter droppin tomorrow ya'll. Just gotta edit it after work and I'll achieve my goal of 4 whole ass UF chapters in January god this month has been fucking endless

[rockofeye]

Out of the depths.

It is somehow appropriate that a re-emergence and re-alignment comes with the beginning of the month of May. May is a big month for vodouizan; we celebrate Kouzen and all his family this month and, for people from Jacmel, it is a month devoted to celebrating Jacmel's heritage, which is tied closely to Kouzen. It is said Jacmel is where Kouzen was from before he went to more rural areas; it's not a coincidence that fet Jacmel and fet St Jacques e St Philippe (the patrons of Jacmel) are celebrated on the same days as fet Kouzen (May 1 and May 2).

I've been thinking about Kouzen a lot lately. It's been a difficult year in a lot of ways, but not a bad year. COVID has really permanently changed how things in my professional field work, and with the help of Kouzen and a few of my other lwa, I managed to leverage that into a position using all my professional strengths with the org that has been my target for employment for years. Landing that has not only been life-changing and future-solidifying, but really reinforces that I know what I know and that I am an expert at what I do.

That's a lesson that comes from Kouzen, and it's one that I struggle to learn and remember in my life. Kouzen shows me balance: he is the expert worker in his field (literal and figurative), but you might never know that from how he does his work. Underestimate him and you'll find out, but how he carries himself keeps his mastery of work and growth and agriculture from being the first thing that you see.

I'm pretty okay with that part, but that's the part I get tripped up about. I don't find anything fulfilling professionally or personally about illustrating what I know,, but there is a difference between going about your business and actively hiding from those moments where you can insert who you are and what you know.

I'm a hider. It might sound kind of funny coming from someone who has been writing a blog in the internet for close to a decade, but it's true: I am actually pretty shy and private and being the center of attention--professional or personal--is kind of horrifying to me. I've reached the point in my life where I don't feel I have a lot to prove because I know what I know, but in many ways that's just not possible for me. I don't work in a field where I can just close my office door and have it all be fine, and the lwa have made clear time after time that I cannot just ride off into Ginen with them and live a private life.

This has something that is always a struggle for me because I am introverted and like my alone space and time. It comes back to the good ol' lessons the lwa want me to learn over and over: balance and vulnerability. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes I react like a cat thrown into a bathtub full of water. The lwa win some, I lose some.

I had to get my ass in gear with the notions of balance and putting myself out there and being vulnerable in knowing my worth and demanding (politely) that it be recognized when I found myself completely dissatisfied with my job(s). I was working two jobs (houngans and manbos know about that hustle...) and making good money, but I was ready to work one job and free up time for spiritual work and projects.

I took a chance and applied for a job that was juuuuust within my experience. It was definitely bigger than what I was doing and while it was within my experience level, I honestly wasn't perfectly qualified....but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so I buffed up the resume, sent it off, and sat with my lwa about it. I told them that if this was where I was supposed to go next, I knew they would clear the way.

I didn't get it.

I made it through two rounds of interviews, but ultimately there was an incumbent with 10 more years of experience than I have, and that's almost always a losing equation. I was okay with it because I still had work and at the end of the day, I don't have to love my job to cash the paychecks.

BUT....the lwa had another plan. The team of interviewers liked me, and so I got headhunted for a position that was very, very in line with my professional experience and goals. I spoke with them several times about it and they made me an offer....and it was so low I almost rejected the offer outright.

I was both angry and scared at the same time; angry because the salary offer was ridiculously offensive based on my career history and scared because I have never been in a position to turn down a job offer or, honestly, negotiate.

This time was the first time in my life that I was planning to leave a job because I wanted to. I grew up in a upper working class home and as an adult have spent too much time jobless and underemployed to discount steady work and a regular paycheck. It was scary as hell to be staring down the possibility of kicking the steady paycheck to the side in favor of taking a step into the unknown.

When I got the offer letter, I sat down with the lwa and literally cried because I was so burned out with my other job that it was affecting my performance, but here I was getting a bullshit offer for a hugely involved job. It felt like a loss if I took it and affirmed that both my experience and what they were asking of me was only worth what they were offering. It felt like a loss if I didn't take it, because those opportunities do not come alone like that very often.

It was such a moment of unique despair. Like, I was not hurt or anything tragic but that feeling like I was painted into a corner and that the choices in front of me would leave me at a loss was HUGE and real. For me, when I feel like that it's hard for me to turn on the part if my brain that's analytical. I just need to sit in my misery for a minute (or more) until I get it together enough to figure out what to do.

That is where the blessing of Kouzen (and really all the lwa) came in. He told me to go back to the table, creat another option, and ask for my worth. Like, not swing my proverbial dick and be an asshole, but go be vulnerable and say that the offer was disappointing and that I expected more. So weird because it makes so much sense, right? And yet there I was totally sold that I was either going to be worked like a mule for less money than I was making already, or I was going to remain in The Bad Place until something else came along.

So I did. Even if I felt pessimistic about it (I did) and thought they would say no (convinced of it), I did what I was told because at the end of the day I agreed to sèvis lwa because I believe in the vision the lwa have for me. Some days I say that through gritted teeth, but that's my guiding principle and they have never let me down.

I sent in my counteroffer and waited for the 'we're sorry, but..' email. It was fucking scary. My agency is a behemoth in my field and has been around forever, so pushing back felt a little bit like David versus Goliath, and I didn't have the benefit of a sling and a rock.

It took two days but they got their offer almost to what I asked for, so I took it and it was a huge relief. I am sure that somewhere in the background Kouzen maybe did a quiet fist pump of 'Alex learned a thing' before going back to his work.

In all seriousness, that's a lesson I have struggled so hard with and it was a moment where I had to put it all into practice and rely on what the lwa have taught me as being an ultimate truth. Knowing my worth is not enough; I have to be able to communicate that in a way that both opens doors and doesn't get me used as a doormat. Not doing that seems like it would be almost offensive to Kouzen because, at least in this case, it would be essentially leaving money on the table and wasting it. My Kouzen is very rational about money, but the idea of not trying to set up my financial future makes his eyes bug out and would probably result in Having To Have A Conversation, which I avoid at all costs. Nothing like the lwa reminding you not to fuck up your own blessings.

Getting settled into this particular blessing has been what has been occupying my time the most these days. I came back from Haiti and went right into this job. I have finally clawed my way into administration and, in a very Kouzen twist, am responsible for managing several million dollars worth of grants and spending them both quickly and wisely. I work closely with the person in the position I originally interviewed for and am really happy I didn't get that job, as I am able much better fit where I am.

What else? In late January, I turned in a final draft of a chapter I was tapped to write for a book detailing the experiences of people who are converts to African Traditional and Diasporic religions. I'm excited to see the book when it comes out; I was the only writer on Haitian Vodou, and so it is chock full of other experiences from people from all different places who converted at some point in their life to a huge variety of African and African Descended religions and cultural practices. It's a project that has been in the works for several years, and it was interesting to see personal growth during my involvement in it and while tracking and detailing my journey from a fairly conservative Protestant upbringing to where I am now as a sèvitè lwa.

My living situation has changed up in the middle of this and I am once again at a point in my life where I have a dedicated space for my lwa. Living in one of the most expensive cities in the US has meant roommates and keeping my lwa in a closet in my room (my most recent roommate lovingly referred to them as the Closet People), but the lwa managed to swing it so I have a room dedicated to my spirits.

I have longing for that for so long...it's been years since that was a reality, and now it's finally a thing again. I always have the room for my lwa as my studio space too, since they are a creative force behind a lot of it, and it make my heart so full again to have room to spread out. It's such a gift for me. No more sitting down to pray and having my roommate start to have sex with their partner on the other side of the wall....I cannot tell you how many times that has happened.

Recently I listened to my mother tell some folks how to make tchaka/Kouzen's favorite meal. The regleman/ritual food is one of the most important parts of both ceremony and personal relationships with the lwa, and Kouzen reminded me that it had been quite awhile since I made him tchaka and boy his stomach would feel so much better with some tchaka in it and I already had a lot of the ingredients and wouldn't it be delicious to make some doumbrey for the tchaka too?

...so I went shopping for what I would need for tchaka for my beloved Kouzen because I have clearly neglected his stomach for too long. Living in a city with a huge Haitian population is great because the Haitian grocery store I went to had joumou/Haitian pumpkin, lalo sèk/dried jute leaves, tritri/tiny dried shrimp, djondjon/Haitian black mushrooms, fresh kowosol/soursop(!!!!!), and fresh lam veritab/breadfruit(!!!!!!!!!!).

It is so rare to find fresh kowosol and lam up here in New England because it def doesn't grow here and it doesn't last well when it's shipped....but it looked great today. The kowosol is going to be for me...ji kowosol ak lèt is a favorite, ESPECIALLY with a little Barbancourt poured in...and Kouzen will either get some tomtom or at least boiled lam veritab with his tchaka. Also have the makings of some bonbon siwo, so this husband is gonna eat GOOD. He deserves it.

And then...? Our live-on-Zoom socially distanced fet Kouzen will be sometime late in May. Making our fets available for folks to 'attend' at a distance has been surprisingly cool. I was not thrilled about the idea because of my personal hangups (I hate being on camera) but it's been really wonderful and has been a way for people who can't get to the temple to be able to share energy and get a taste of what a real Haitian fet is like. COVID isn't going away anytime soon, so we'll probably keep doing our fetes this way for awhile.

And...Haitian Summer is coming. I could write another whole post on what's going on down in Haiti, but I am very much looking forward to our kanzo and fet cycle this summer. My very favorite ceremonies are part of kanzo, and I love the opportunity to see the lwa in their home in the temple. I've been so lucky to be able to travel safely to Haiti several times during this mess, and it has fed my soul. It's safer for me and many of my family members now that we are vaccinated, so one less thing to worry about.

With Kouzen's month and the season of spring, I hope for growth in new directions for each of you, complete with all the blessings that Kouzen can bring: fertility and fecundity, inspiration, energy, commitment, rootedness, solid partnerships, and wise investments in self, community, relationships, and business ventures. May the fresh breeze bring you health with every breath and wealth with every exhale.

[delicioustrashlove]

To me : a honest open letter to my self. deep breath and open up and express 

What do you know . You went back there again and all though you held on super tight you couldn’t keep him could you? Of course not. You’ve lost your self every-time chasing him and you’ve never been able to catch him.

I thought I wouldn’t survive this one. I thought honestly I was not going to make something of my self . I whole heartedly was ready to give up . What ever happened happened and I could care less it’ll never be as bad as losing you. And I truthfully connived my self that my happiness only lied in your arms.

It took me so long to cry . Once I got back Colorado the reality of my new home, it was such a blur . For a while I pretended you died. To some how help my heart forget you. And thats all I wanted was to forget you. I deleted every picture and every single video .I blocked you on everything I could think of that youd have access to talking to me through . And for what . Just to black out once a week and tell you how much  I miss you and that I love you . I drank my self silly . I mean every event every party every outing I had to be there I had to be anywhere but in reality . Because reality meant no you. It meant what once was and will never be again,, reality meant excepting my feelings. And I wanted so badly to be tough and strong. I’ve gotten my heart shattered a million times by you , you’d think I would get easier . It didnt it was worse . I was so fully invested in you that life didnt exist with out you in it . I didnt know what that felt like anymore . I was so wrapped up In you so blind to reality . Loving you meant losing my self . I lost my self 4 times a year for 5 years trying to keep your heart. I broke my own heart letting you back in to my life so many times . I knew better . But the love I had for you was so much stronger . I couldn’t stay away . I also revolved my entire world around you , so when you where gone I felt so literally like the world was ending . I lost my whole life . I realize now thats not healthy . You have to always prioritize your health and well being before anyone . You have to love you before you love anyone. So wed break up id self destruct then Id put all my pieces back together the ones you broke. Id fix my self and I would get back on track I was moving on I was happy then just like that . One phone call at 10pm where you clearly to drunk to remember the conversation id be on a plane. Drop my job my home my family My friends … quite literally everything just to be with you . Just to love you. All I ever did in this world was so unconditionally love you. I thought I could hate you I did for a while . But I dont anymore . You where apart of my journey and it almost killed losing you but it was supposed to happen . It was part of the plan that god has for me. You coming int o my life brought so much love and bond that ill never feel with anyone else . I will never love someone the way I let my self love you. And when the lesson has finally been learned only then I can move forward to the next chapter. And your purpose in my life was love and lots of lessons and lots of growing . You think god doest hear your heart crying you think he gave up on you ya know , but he never did. In the end you’ll see there was such bigger picture. 5 years I spent going back to you and leaving you. Why did I always go back ? Because loved you but I clearly wasn’t seeing what god prepared for me. He wouldn’t believe his lessons or fallow his guidance so he kept bring ing me back to you so I could relearn and remember why I left and well you might be my soulmate your not meant to be in my story forever . Only a couple chapters . And once you’ve served your purpose to my life that god wants me to have experienced and learned I will be able to move forward. I first must let you go . And I finally am starting to. I got so unhealthy and so sad and so stuck and caused so many health problems to my body . So much that was almost to much to prepare. But I made a choice one day . I chose my self , and not you. I chose to love me and not love you anymore. I commented intently to my family and I mean really gave it my all. I learned that no matter what my parents wouldn’t never leave mom behind .and im going to everything in my power to be a good girl to them and build our love and our relationship . And I think that was gods purpose all along. You cant keep whats not for you . And I didnt understand that when we parted ways. I accept that now . And I know as I continue to stay on the right path god has such beauty waiting ahead for me… look how much I loved you and all I did for you imagine how much I will love the right man. I did alot. Every time we break up I have to fix my self . But I know now its all apart of the journey . All those trials with you just made me stronger it made me braver it made me wiser and it made men grateful for the good ones.  You breaking my heart was one of the best things to happen to me in the end. Because I never would stopped loving you I never would have left you behind. I would have always been your biggest fan and continued to love you till I ended up hating my self. You have the courage to set me free was the kindest thing you ever did for me. At the time I didnt get it but who I am now and what I ve accomplished for my self and how when you try really hard to be better and I mean really hard things kind of fall in to place. God smiles and says okay you deserve this you’ve learned you’ve grown . I manaaged to accomplish that goal of being close to my family . We are so close and we love trust and respect eachother so much . Our bond is very very strong . I managed to get my self too a doctor , I found out I complete sabotaged my health . And oh ya I have 14 allergies !!!!  And some of the effects of those allergies after time has caused a harmful build up to where I was 3 years away form being diabetic , my thyroid completely stopped working . Amplifying my anxiety and my depression . The last month. I was in az i would get sick a lot . Id eat something and get sick . The problem was I was so fuxking drunk all the time I didnt ever thing anything of it. I’ve destroyed my guy and its a blessing that wildly and randomly this doctor asked if she could test me . And we found a lot of issues and also got a lot of answers to a lot of my health issues. Im starting treatment for that . Ill be injecting my self every other day with medicine to help my body repair the damages I have done and it will also help fight allergic reaction and build immunity so this doesnt happen again . I also !!! Am taking my meds again . Different ones but im glad I chose to take this chance on them again . I figured if im going to  put my health and happiness first I dotn need to be drinking and If im not drinking a lot fo stuff is going to come to the surface and I don know how well ill be able to handle that reality. I also like I said thought. Was going to kill my self. I was so heartbroken so so so sad. I knew I needed help and I reached out and got. Now im happy and stable and I get out of bed and I have energy and im so present and to active. I work out everyday . I eat healthy and I lost some weight . My highest weigh t was 168 before our florida trip I got down to 147 , when worked for Linx I was 145 then after being with tj again my mental health went hay wire and I lost my self again . Completely lost. And when I got back to co I was 153 pounds …. I would shift from 145 to 147 … then I just stopped worrying about it and started doing something about it. I channeled all my sadness in to exercise . Im sad go work out im bored go work out im happy hey go work out get that good flow !!  Your angry you miss him what ever it was I worked out then it became all I could focus on cus I learned to love it so Much . I took on running again I put in the work . Things finally where falling into place . I was getting my self back and this time it was better then ever . Better then ever before . I unlocked this door and its been so beautiful. I one day weighed my self just to see assuming id be 145 I was 137 !!!! Wow !!! A week later I was 135 and today I am 133!!!!! Its so cool and feels so good to not be depressed not feel pretty in my clothes. And iliv Amy self. So much . I hope I start working at hooters soon and continue to have a great life. I finally got approved for unemployment and ally back pay and also and extra 13 weeks after mine runs out. Things are just happening . I wasn’t going to get any hadn’t outs . But I was at the bottom thats for sure and you know who was there ? Not tj not the guy you literally did everything for no not him . My mom and my step dad and my brother . They took me in . And it was hard and uncomfterable , but I just stopped going out stopped drinking as much . And did things for them no matter if they where mad at me or if it was awkward.i committed to being good fo them . And I knew it would take time . But little by little ive managed to accomplish all my goals . When I used to be the queen of quitting. I cant wait to see even more of what god has in store for me. And who I become . My skins cleaning up my body is losing weight I more active im healthy and im very in touch with my desires and my well being . I care and love and respect my self so so much. Its like a huge spiritual awakening. I love being alone . I dont feel like alone deserves me right now to be honest .Its gong to take a lot for me to love again but its okay . Not everyone deserves that form me anyway. I worked so hard to me this . To be who I am right now and I won’t let anyone take that away form me. You cause harm to my heart my well being just by !! If you disappoint me disrespect me or hurt me its done . You lost you dot meet my needs your not benefiting and there’s to many many and women on this planet . Ill never waist my time on the wrong one . Ever again. I respect my self to much to put someone over me! And I stand by that now and forever!!!  The new be is bette then ever and its gong to take a hell of a person to change my relationship status . And that cool im honestly not even interested . I dont care to date or hang out or hook up or even have sexual contact with anyone . Im so content with me myself and this beautiful transition im goin through I just want to focus on me and my family and my health. Because this is what its all about. This is what living is. this is life. This is beauty . This is whats important. I feel like im living . And im happy and im only going to get better and better. Thank you god for this life and thank you for giving me the strength to turn the page and start a new chapter on life. I fully trust you and the processs. And that brings me back to “god will never leave you behind” I needed to learn all those things that all may mistakes have taught me . And god has a way of constantly bringing things back Into your life if it has not yet served its purpose or taught you what you needed to learn.  I see that now. Positive mind set is very powerful . Loving your self is amazing and living through god is the best thing you can do . I will always you tj and I will always in some way wish there was a me and you forever .but I cant ever betray my self like that again. That door is officially closed.  See I thought my life was over when you said our relationship was over. But really it had just begun. Everything happened for a reason exactly how its meant to happen . Losing you meant I could finally find my self. It just lit up the path .  God bless <3 no angry  im happy and im I accept this and I forgive my self and you . Life is so Beautiful .

Some one very wise once said … -Life is not about how much you hurt its about how much your willing to suffer. ~VP

Im not willing to suffer any longer.  Except it feel it and then forgive and move forward.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Oi Janis: I've got a great idea Jimmy: Go on Janis: If we have to go on these dates and shit to make it credible, it should at least be profitable, yeah? Janis: gotta get something out of it, aside from being left alone, like Jimmy: you offering to pay me, rich girl? Jimmy: tah very much Janis: Ha, no Janis: should've done that upfront, no hidden costs lad Janis: but apparently, if we go in these places, say its one of our birthdays, we can get free shit Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: free shit like drinks or free shit like a song? Janis: Free like you ain't gonna have to sing for your supper Janis: depends how convincing you reckon you can be Jimmy: Put upon boyfriend out celebrating his spoilt gf's birthday isn't that much of a stretch for me Jimmy: been there, worn the matching coupley t-shirt Janis: How spoilt can I really be if I'm fine with free cake and shit Janis: but alright, be my birthday first Jimmy: the free cake is a bonus on top of all the #goals shit we've been doing before & will keep doing after that we'll talk loudly about in front of our even more put upon server Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Of course Janis: definitely don't get paid enough and tipping kind of goes against what we're doing here, soz Jimmy: If they do a top job with their bit of the performance could always slip 'em Pete's number and see if he'll let 'em in band Jimmy: be classed as the ultimate gift that Janis: nice that your #solidarity extends beyond caffiene based services Janis: dunno who died and made you his manager Jimmy: gutted that you'd have to kill many a groupie to have your go Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔💔 Jimmy: bitter as the CG's cup of the day you, mate Janis: Bitch please Janis: have you seen me Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: and here you are having ideas that'll mean I see more of you Janis: Erm, definitely YOUR idea Jimmy: all these dates were nowt to do with me Jimmy: I don't bother with my real birthday Janis: Nah, idiot Janis: one date Janis: hit as many places as we can Janis: see who can get the best shit Jimmy: and see who voms first Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: I'm in Janis: That's a thing you do? Janis: thanks for the warning, I suppose but not gonna hold back your hair still Jimmy: did you not get the memo about me being Mia protege? I'll resend it's a decent read Jimmy: we got jackets but I can't fit in mine yet #motivation Janis: 😂 Janis: should know she likes to leave me out as much as she thinks about me Janis: treat 'em mean is her whole #mood, obvs Jimmy: but I love to include you Judy 😍😍😍 Jimmy: must've missed that memo myself Janis: Has she not rushed to correct you and stake claims? Janis: Disappointing Jimmy: not til I reach my goal weight, dear Jimmy: multitasking uses more braincells than she's got functioning Janis: 💔💔💔💔💔 Janis: for you or for her, who knows Jimmy: sharesies 💕 Janis: 🤢 Janis: don't trigger me Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: When we doing this then? Janis: When can you Janis: I ain't eat yet Jimmy: gimme like an hour Jimmy: two max Janis: 👍 Janis: where you at or we meeting in town Jimmy: Go buy yourself a badge and party hat Jimmy: I'll meet you there Janis: 😑 Janis: really Jimmy: convincing you said Janis: I know but are we convincing them that I'm 6, like Janis: you want the kids menu you can ask Jimmy: if you wanna swap roles, say the word, Jill Jimmy: I look sexy af in a sash Janis: I'll get you one then Janis: help me win Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: You'll need all the help you can get to beat me Janis: Confident now you've secured a costume Janis: you do you, boy Jimmy: such a #hater you Janis: just a natural-born winner Jimmy: Easy to say Jimmy: We ain't hitting up your daddy's place, rich girl Jimmy: You're gonna have to do something Janis: 🙄 Janis: yeah that was the plan Janis: fake meet the fam is too much Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: Yeah yeah Jimmy: save your enthusiasm for your fake birthday bash, babe Janis: You could save your tears for when they might get us more freebies too Janis: just so you know Jimmy: I thought you wanted to be the winner Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: I could heroically cheer you up Janis: get with the times Jimmy: am I meant to be crying 'cause you've survived the year 🔪 or 'cause you didn't get any hotter? 👵💕 Janis: Do you wanna survive the meal, darling Janis: that's the real question Jimmy: if the food's better than the company, might do Janis: 🖕 Janis: why I should be crying Janis: just need to be convincingly dating Janis: not old married couple Janis: much to your disappointment, I know Jimmy: yeah I've got the full orchestra playing as we speak Janis: Gonna stick with my workout playlist if it's all the same to you Jimmy: 🤤 Janis: I'm sure Janis: Like you said, those calories don't purge themselves Jimmy: Mhmm, we don't need to fake date so hard you get fat, that's #goals for nobody Janis: You ain't that fake special, babe Janis: 💔 Jimmy: Too soon for a food baby vs fake pregnancy guessing game either so keep at it with the workouts, girl Janis: You're trying to give the wrong twin a complex, boy Janis: works dead good on her though, if you wanna change your mind on how interested you are Jimmy: she free in an hour or two? Janis: ask her Jimmy: hang on then Janis: no need Janis: in the clear if you've changed your mind Jimmy: damn she's washing Mia's hair Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: you'll have to do Janis: not the first time she's let me down Janis: s'alright Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: How fancy are the restaurants we're hitting? Jimmy: [sends pic of what he's wearing with a 👍 on one hand and a 👎 on the other like yay or nay] Janis: Not Janis: so 👍 Janis: can leave the tux in the cleaners, like Jimmy: another night slumming it, eh?  can leave your 🐎 at home too then, sweetheart Janis: not setting up the world's shittest joke, tah Janis: 🐎🍻 Jimmy: You'd need a sense of humor for that Jimmy: and a better venue 🍽 doesn't have the same #bants Janis: I'll laugh at all your 'jokes' when there's people around to hear Janis: not exclusive to fake relationships that's just standard, burst your bubble Jimmy: 😍💕😍😍💕 Janis: Ugh, you're keen Jimmy: you had me at freebies 💘 Jimmy: just a poor boy pretending to love a girl over here Janis: asking her to pretend love him back Janis: seen the film, got the memo Jimmy: clocking up all the hours you won't get back you Janis: Obviously Janis: hoping god's keeping track Jimmy: you gonna make me say grace over the 🍞🍷 Jimmy: 'cause we established your sister ain't free even for 3 times and a mirror Janis: Maybe Janis: actually have to take this serious then Janis: do your homework, kid Jimmy: bubble bursting's your fave but I'll be the one to tell you he ain't #real if you need 🎅 too Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Is for rich kids, ain't you heard Janis: #blessed ain't just a # babe Jimmy: you'd know Janis: exactly Jimmy: tah for the inside scoop on what I coulda had, mate Janis: you seem very interested Janis: keep bringing it up so Janis: welcome Jimmy: in your 💰💰💰 yeah, I am Jimmy: gonna ask you to fake marry me asap Janis: soz, don't actually need a beard Jimmy: better not drop the 💍 in your dinner later then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be discouraged Janis: plenty of others left Jimmy: 🙏🙏 Jimmy: lucky me Jimmy: You're right, Jenna, #blessed ain't just a # Janis: I know Janis: keep up Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: could use it Janis: new boy shine won't last forever Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: won't need you then Janis: 🤞 Janis: let's hope so or you'll have to think of a way to make this worthwhile Jimmy: so romantic and so threatening 💕 Janis: that's me Jimmy: 😍 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Save the sweet talk Janis: You're gonna have to do better Jimmy: nowt better than your pillowtalk baby Janis: 😂 Janis: you wish Jimmy: I ain't wishing for owt but 🎂 Jimmy: I've not ate either Janis: you at work Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I opened Janis: bummer Janis: could've started off the freebies unofficial, like Jimmy: full of good ideas you Jimmy: you ain't tasted most of the shit in the cabinet though 💀💀💀 Janis: I ain't scared, boy Jimmy: weren't a challenge Janis: 🤷 Janis: boring Jimmy: piss off Janis: alright Janis: in a bit then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [during] Janis: socials are popping off Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: do my victory lap now, like Janis: stop by the bar on your way then Janis: 🥃 is empty Jimmy: [does but let's say he's talked his way into some kind of 🍸freebie so he's 😏] Janis: can't stop winning, like Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt girl Janis: lemme taste it first Janis: usually more sugar than booze Jimmy: I didn't make it, June, I blagged it Janis: letdown Janis: leave it off socials that there's an end to your talents, obvs Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I'll make you one in a bit if you're 💔 Janis: cool it tom cruise Janis: it's alright Jimmy: I know you ain't gutted I ain't that short Janis: [is 😏] Janis: true, way too many nice points in ignoring that and getting with you anyway Janis: not trying to be sainted for my new rep Jimmy: yeah yeah 😈 you Jimmy: [a flirty look cos we all know what's up] Janis: [returns it duh even if you're drinking that drink faster now] Janis: got to that point in the date have we Jimmy: [nods to whoever is coming to clear the plates as if he planned that but obvs didn't] Jimmy: might as well milk our last chances before we're onto the next Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [just a look like mhmm] Janis: go on then Janis: I'll go freshen up or whatever it is I'm meant to do and you try get us some doggy bags or something Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [leans across the table & said plates which are being cleared to kiss her like they are one of those obliviously loved up couples] Janis: [being that bitch like sorry but not when you get up to go like the poor waitress is meant to be #invested 'cos you also know the type, least they are actually cute but still] Jimmy: [clearly does score something for them cos this place is extra if they giving out 🍸] Janis: I'm coming back 'cos any longer they'll think I'm taking a dump Janis: not very goals Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: time to move along anyway, my dear Janis: [comes back and has taken her hair down to show she's been doing 'freshening' 'cos I wanna ha] Jimmy: [when she looks really fucking good so he's trying not to stare at her & basically throws the freebies at her cos] Janis: [walking away lads heist of the century] Janis: s'alright, giving me your jacket is probably a bit cliche, like Jimmy: my jacket ain't got nowt you can eat in the pockets Jimmy: [waves a 🚬 at her tho cos is in there & asking if she wants] Janis: [does] Janis: you a feeder or just trying to 💀 me now Jimmy: You'll have to pay to unlock my kinks Jimmy: [lights her up though cos never can stop himself] Janis: [does a little amused lol] Janis: just saying, solid out with Mia and co Jimmy: Tah, I'll run with it Jimmy: had to break up with you 'cause you're too 💪 and won't over-eat for me Jimmy: 💔💔🎻🎻💔 Janis: and you're short and have a complex Janis: cool Jimmy: and you fancy Cruise and wish I was Jimmy: soz babe Jimmy: should've twigged when your idea of netflix and chill was so him heavy Janis: Not only are you tryna make me fat, it's you who's stopping me wearing heels Janis: out of order, tbh babe Jimmy: nobody's believing you wanna wear heels Jimmy: platform trainers maybe Janis: that's the whole point of this init Janis: new year new me 💁💯 Jimmy: [does a 🙄] Janis: See Janis: total Napolean, you Jimmy: You wish Jimmy: so thirsty for midgets you Janis: makes fake dating you easier, yeah Jimmy: [playfully shoves her as he pulls her into the next place] Janis: [maybe there's a bit of a queue so they have to stand there and wait and be gross and couply in the doorway for all to see, just leaning on him casually] Jimmy: [yeah cos then he can play with her hair when he's kissing her etc which you know is a mood since she took it down] Janis: [should defs be the place that ain't having it after waiting] Jimmy: [agreed but they ain't that mad secretly cos this wait is fun 😏] Janis: ok this waitress is immune to charm Janis: we're bailing before the bill Jimmy: yours Jimmy: if I'd have done it you'd be tucking into a sundae with a sparkler by now Janis: your delusions ain't making me feel better Jimmy: your whinging ain't doing owt for me, funnily enough Jimmy: let's do one Janis: I'm ordering the most expensive dessert on this menu first Jimmy: it'll take ages to show up Jimmy: their customer service is for shit Janis: wanna go complain to their manager, babe Janis: let it hit the table first, I'm not eating food that's been gobbed in for you Jimmy: not one of your kinks? I'll only spit in your mouth if you really annoy me then Janis: yeah try it Janis: dickhead Jimmy: I'll be outside Jimmy: find me when you're done Janis: really Jimmy: there's no need to be #goals in here Jimmy: [leaves the table without a word like a rude hoe but we know you're gonna be back cos will be ages lol] Janis: are you trying to dash and leave me with the bill Jimmy: would that be the bill you said you're bailing on? Janis: yeah but are you bailing on me first Janis: that's such bad manners Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I've gone outside not home Janis: just 'cos you know I can run faster than you Janis: if you need a headstart, just say Jimmy: 'cause I'm still hungry, nowt to do with you, girl Janis: then come in and order something Janis: we ain't paying, remember Janis: go big Jimmy: I can't read, remember Jimmy: too northern Jimmy: order for me Janis: you sure? Janis: no need to be goals in here and pretend I know your taste so well Jimmy: not up for this specific challenge? Jimmy: losing it, mate Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Shut up Janis: I'll do it Jimmy: 😘 Janis: also you owe me 🚬 Jimmy: Come here then Janis: I'm patiently waiting for your food Jimmy: You've got time Jimmy: [waves at her from outside like come on] Janis: [shrugs like alright 'cos why not, feeling like a fool sat there anyway] Jimmy: [watching her come to him lowkey like 😏] Janis: ['it'll fall out' in ref to the 🚬 in his mouth] Jimmy: [lights her cos will until the day they both quit just facts] Janis: [nods like cheers] Jimmy: [keeping an eye out for the food they not gonna pay for 'cause looking at her would mean a LOOK and he's already done one earlier] Janis: ['Hope you're as hungry as you say you are'] Jimmy: [on his phone now like a rude hoe like we know he's checking on the kids but Janis don't 'Starved' cos lbr probably is thanks Ian you slack bitch] Janis: [when you're mad but you aren't gonna say you're mad lmao] Jimmy: [🚬 & texting looking like the rudest bitch ever when really you're promising Cass & Bobby cake cos they deserve that] Janis: ['Popular?' bit rude to say it like a question but you know he ain't] Jimmy: ['You said it, our posts are. I've got new boy and birthday boy shine combined, tah for that'] Janis: ['Frees you for your actual' shrugs 'who doesn't like free shit, come on'] Jimmy: [still glued to his phone 'Could be anywhere by then but if Mia and Co are still stalking, I'll keep the lie going, highkey for highkey'] Janis: [shrugs, 'they are pretty committed' and puts her 🚬 out on the wall as she goes back in] Jimmy: [follows her in after ignoring her cos I love a mixed signal] Janis: [food should still not be there for awks] Jimmy: [100%] Jimmy: [doodling cos art hoe forever, this time on the condensation on his glass with a finger] Janis: [pours salt on the table and draws noughts and crosses grid 'cos this place sucks so can be as messy as you wanna] Jimmy: [smiles when he notices cos that nerd & takes his go as ✖] Janis: [tie #1] Janis: [Janis win] Janis: [Jimmy win Janis: [Food finally arriving and my vibe was out of his comfort zone but something swag 'cos knows food] Jimmy: [gives a look like wtf & is ready to hate it obvs & be moody but tastes it & its clearly good so unlucky] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [flicks a spoonful at her cos not tryna start a full fight cos wants to eat it but 😒] Janis: [#outraged and gets some cream from her sundae and puts it on his nose] Jimmy: [when you scrape it off and then lick your finger in a saucy manner] Janis: [When you look bemused like 'thought we weren't putting on a show?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like 'practice makes perfect' and then gets them to recreate it for the 'gram] Janis: ['Alright, highkey for highkey' at least you get to be 'fake' into it for the 'gram] Jimmy: [when you're so into it 'for the story' hahahaha] Janis: have you done this before? Jimmy: eaten whatever the fuck this is? Not up north, Jasmine Janis: 🙄 Janis: dined and dashed, genius Jimmy: haven't you? Janis: I asked you, boy Janis: but no Janis: who wants to be that rich girl cliche Jimmy: it's a poor lad necessity Jimmy: beg, borrow or steal your pastry based 5 a day Janis: You can take the lead then and we don't have to call it a head start or nothing Jimmy: we can call it handholding you through rich girl, 'cause that's what it is Janis: Leave now if you wanna be patronizing Janis: it ain't hard Jimmy: Go freshen up and use your athletic skills to leave out the window Jimmy: won't be hard for you Janis: Say bye now then Janis: ✌ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [run bitch run] Jimmy: [likewise do your thing boyyy] Jimmy: piss easy when you know how Janis: alright Janis: it was fun but only 'cos they deserved it Janis: where'd you end up? Jimmy: so moral you 🙏😇🙏 Jimmy: [location which is right by the next place they should hit but he's always lost lol] ?? Janis: you already knew me and the big man were tight Janis: right, go in the pub like a few buildings down Janis: be there soon Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: missing you already 💕😍😘 Janis: 😂 Janis: drown your sorrows, babe Jimmy: 🍻 sláinte Janis: Look at you Janis: practically native Jimmy: ��🏆 Janis: depressive drinking is what unites us all, tbh Jimmy: 😂 Janis: [showing up, let us assume she ran in the opposite direction] Jimmy: [when yet again you have to stop yourself looking at the cute bae but at least you got the drinks in so you can shove that at her] Janis: [IRL sláinte] Jimmy: [clink them glasses kids] Janis: [a snap/story moment if ever there was] Jimmy: [just cos she wants to make him say 🍀 with his accent lol] Janis: [still loling tbh] Jimmy: [when you then notice some food in her hair from when you flicked it at her so you get it out and there's a shameless moment] Janis: ['can't take you anywhere, like'] Jimmy: ['can fake it everywhere, though'] Janis: ['wow, pop that on your tinder'] Jimmy: [gives her an IRL 👍] Janis: [literal shaking of head, hopefully you dislodge any other food lol] Jimmy: [not into your drink tho that'd be grim] Janis: ['d'ya move 'round lots then?'] Jimmy: [his turn to shake his head 'I was born in the house we lived in before my dad dragged us here'] Janis: ['what makes you so sure you'll be off again then?' a gloriously blunt bitch lmao] Jimmy: ['got to that bit of the date now, have we?' cos word thief & gives her the same look she gave him too but a bit more 😒 cos its him] Janis: ['You'd prefer we were back playing footsie, like?'] Jimmy: [lols cos lbr yeah he would] Janis: [get a round in b] Jimmy: [they should get free shots which they then 'gram/snap for the brag] Janis: ['You're keeping up alright, lad'] Jimmy: ['You said it yourself, it ain't just you Paddys that handle their drink'] Janis: ['Not coming for your pride, but you can spare the sob story, like; 'less you wanna make it an actual story'] Jimmy: ['So chatty you. Unlocked a Juliet kink without even trying there, like' taking shots like its his job] Janis: [Punches him in the arm but gentle-ish please] Jimmy: [is all like 'oi!' so offended & playful shove & messes her hair up cos can't hit her can you lad] Janis: ['knew it'd all end in tears' and fake wipes his eyes to show his, obvs] Jimmy: [when its a playfight but also a moment cos we see how flirty af this is getting guys] Janis: [gonna have to get another punter/bartender to say something so y'all stop 'cos] Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: I know Janis: I KO'd you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You made a holy show of yourself girl, what would Jesus say? 😱😱 Janis: He likes 'em feisty Jimmy: code for down with a toe in the mouth that Janis: [lols] Janis: That's blasphemy Jimmy: let him KO me then Jimmy: you missed your chance, mate Janis: If you're asking to get hit by lightning, wait 'til I'm gone Janis: not going down with you, mate Jimmy: So fake Juliet 💔💔💔 Jimmy: am gonna cry now, like Janis: Poor boy Janis: you didn't get the memo Jimmy: You know I can't read Jimmy: 😭😭😭😭 Janis: I'll get you an audible account as a parting gift Jimmy: tah Jimmy: that really softens the blow of you going Janis: mhmm Janis: listen to all the great love stories you like Jimmy: [is literally graffiting their initials in a love heart somewhere rn excuse him] Jimmy: You're the great romantic, load up my queue so I know it's real 💕 Janis: [just 😏] Janis: sure Mia comes here all the time, like Janis: can see it now Jimmy: I get that vibe from her Janis: packet of pork scratchings and she's yours Janis: deffo Jimmy: 🤤 Janis: [ripping up a beer-mat] Janis: she don't do boyfriends, you know Janis: you should just bang her, keep the others away Jimmy: [does vomming sounds dramatically] Jimmy: she'd be into that but I don't wanna know her kinks either Janis: [shrugs but is shamelessly pleased] Jimmy: [throws some of the beer mat pieces up like confetti] Janis: Subtle Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: Maybe you can change her, boy Janis: [making casual mosaic with some pieces] Jimmy: I owed you a 🚬 not a life changing favour Jimmy: [takes a pic of it cos art hoe] Janis: would it kill you Janis: come on Janis: wife her Jimmy: might do Janis: I'm willing to take that risk Jimmy: if I wanted to get married underage I'd have stayed with my ex Jimmy: claimed her kid Janis: [does 😬 face] Jimmy: [drinking away the mems] Janis: [awkward drinking] Janis: reckon that's worth more free drinks, I'll go see Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [does and succeeds, this place is obvs about them] Jimmy: [more drinking] Janis: did you think it was yours for a bit Jimmy: [gives her a look like oh okay are we still on this] Janis: [puts hands up like sorry and is genuinely] Jimmy: [shakes his head though cos no he didn't it was obvs that friend of her dad's #goals ] Janis: [nods but doesn't comment 'cos you know lesson learnt] Jimmy: [does another cheers glasses clink cos thanks for dropping it] Janis: 🍻 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [just on ya phone, reading the comments] Janis: think we're splitting couples up left and right with our #goals Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: [shows her a Mia 'birthday' message in his dms with the most disgusted facial expression anyone has ever worn] Janis: 🤢 Janis: Disappointing Janis: I thought her chat would be better Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos she's rode bare lads Janis: gotta be some reason Jimmy: she don't do boyfriends, there's one Janis: Shoulda opened with that Jimmy: Common knowledge, there's no need Jimmy: 🍆🐍 Janis: how dare you 🐍 shame her Jimmy: [little lol] Jimmy: You wanna reply to her? Jimmy: [throws his phone to her like] Janis: [raises eyebrow like 'risky' but challenge accepted duh] Jimmy: [drinks while she works her magic on that] Janis: [when you make it obvious it's you 'cos omg phone trust lol] Jimmy: [when you put your head on her shoulder so you can read it even though you could just wait until she's done, we see you boy] Janis: [takes selfie to send too] Jimmy: [suck it Mia] Janis: [looking so couply without even trying lmao] Jimmy: [when his phone rings and they lowkey shit themselves cos love to ruin a moment but its Ian so he ain't answering it begone bitch] Janis: [when you know all about ignoring 'rents so standard] Jimmy: [ooh let's say there's a table football table like in sims so they can play] Janis: [when you forget and are just having a good time now] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: [let the boy win] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 😒 Janis: fluke Jimmy: play me again and I'll beat you again, babe 🥇 Janis: [sticks tongue out 'cos mature] Jimmy: [her tongue is whatever lurid colour the shots were so 📷 cos nerd] Janis: Insult to injury Jimmy: nah look it's #art Janis: [🙄] Jimmy: [sends it to her but has done some artsy shit to it] Jimmy: 🎨🎨🎨🎨 Janis: Look less cringe than the cake social, I suppose Jimmy: so complimentary you Janis: you really got that temperament, yeah? Janis: no one's doubting you maestro Jimmy: answered your own question there, girl Janis: get you a beret too Janis: when I go Janis: sorted Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [goes to get more drinks even if he has to pay for them, you gonna be wasted lads ayyyy] Janis: [when grace is probably hitting you up for deets, everyone getting ignored lowkey] Janis: get shots whilst you're up there Jimmy: [does and they a different colour for the fun] Jimmy: 💔 we'd get booted out for body shots, the fans would've loved it Janis: can call it a hate crime Janis: 🌈 Janis: you're just being a good ally Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: with that foolproof excuse, we've got none not to do it then Janis: [a look] Jimmy: [returned obvs as he's taking off his doughnut sweatshirt which isn't thank you cos not a fashion mood] Janis: [a moment] Jimmy: [downing the rest cos you know when you take your tshirt off and do this you're gonna get thrown out and not cos you need dutch courage for this moment nope] Janis: [another pub you can't go back to lads] Jimmy: [setting his phone up cos its only for the 'gram/snap guys duh] Janis: [obvs, deffo need to go this hard] Jimmy: [like on the one hand yes cos fuck you Mia but also you really don't] Jimmy: [doing the thing when you maintain eye contact the whole time you take your top off & get in position somehow I'd fall over & die so call me offended boy] Janis: [Just trying not to look like you're looking and getting down to business] Jimmy: [at least he can pretend how shamelessly into it he is is only for the recording but bitch we know you ain't acting that well] Janis: [no taking your top off for insta or for this pub so just give him that collarbone sharpish like Jimmy: [when that's hotter though so bye] Janis: [you're welcome everyone but also buhbye] Jimmy: [when you gotta run again but this time together awwh] Janis: [such a mood, end up in a park, blatantly] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaas drunk and alone in a park is our fave] Janis: [just laying on the grass, it's April, it's fine] Jimmy: [we all know he should go home but he's right there next to her instead] Janis: [actually looking at him, what is she thinking, who knows] Jimmy: [looking back cos of course he is] Janis: [makes a face to break the tension] Jimmy: [throws some grass at her cos always throwing things at her] Janis: [grass fight like you ain't alone who's gonna stop first idiots] Jimmy: [we can have his phone stop them cos let's say a text from Cass so he wouldn't ignore it & also that looks really sketchy like imma just stop flirting immediate to look at my phone] Janis: [silently fuming and gets up to go on the swing or something] Jimmy: [stays put texting & 🚬] Janis: [when you should just leave but you ain't] Jimmy: [when you go over and put your jacket over her shoulders but bitch it ain't cold you just needed an excuse to be there] Janis: want me to snap it or what Jimmy: [when you just blink & shrug cos you weren't even thinking about or like that] Janis: [when you gesture that you wanna twos on the 🚬] Jimmy: [sitting on the swing next to hers so you can pass it back & forth & you do] Janis: [just swinging as one does] Jimmy: [oh so casual just sneaking looks at her like] Janis: ['What?'] Jimmy: ['What?'] Janis: [😑 and swinging higher like fine] Jimmy: [this boy ain't even swinging he's obvs too 😎] Janis: [jumping off and wobbling 'cos if you weren't dizzy before] Jimmy: [if you don't hold her up boy who tf are you] Janis: [swatting him away like oi] Jimmy: [stepping away soooooooo dramatically] Janis: [when you're like 'Imma go for a run' like no] Jimmy: [a look like wtf] Jimmy: ['calm it down, pisshead' tryna steer her back to the swing to sit like shh] Janis: ['why?'] Jimmy: [Raising both eyebrows at her & sitting her down like ummm 'Why can't you go running late at night after shit loads of shots?'] Janis: [looks at him like um yes] Jimmy: [shakes his head but in an amused way this time] Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: ['I can handle myself, boy, you go home if you're scared'] Jimmy: [when you're just standing there holding the chains of her swing so it stays still 'If I wanted to go home I'd be there'] Janis: [trying to swing 'cos can't be tamed, 'where do you wanna go then?'] Jimmy: [when you're standing even closer like if you wanna swing you're gonna have to kick me bitch but you're trying not to smile now cos she cute & stubborn 'where are you going?'] Janis: [when you jokingly aim for the crotch but obvs don't #justgirlythings 'very goals; but rude as you're holding me park hostage'] Jimmy: [extending a hand like on you go don't let me stop you babe but v amused] Janis: [gets up with purpose but just standing even closer to him like challenging like now what boy] Jimmy: [when you pick up your jacket up off the floor cos it weren't on her properly so wouldn't have necessarily stayed when she jumped off before & put it back round her shoulders but your hands stay there just lingering cos] Janis: ['do me up then' just moving his hands to the buttons/zip or whatever like you can't do it yourself/you need to] Jimmy: [casually dressing the bae nbd such a moment] Janis: [does another jump to show it's staying on now] Jimmy: [lifts her hair out cos you just wanna touch it always bye but then you calm the fuck down & do an 👌 IRL cos all set] Janis: [does it back with a lol like okay dork] Jimmy: [tells her to piss off but is smiling] Janis: ['no'] Jimmy: [when you have to go back to the swing and sit because you can't address that no and what it might mean] Janis: ['want me to push you?' and is coming over like obvs you do lol] Jimmy: ['do you wanna?' cos always a question] Janis: [just starts in response] Jimmy: [don't go too hard tho him vomming ain't a mood lol] Janis: [when you just lol like what the fuck are we doing rn and stop, going to lie down again] Jimmy: [when you say you should go but lie with her instead cos obvs] Janis: [turn on your side and look at him 'go on then'] Jimmy: [getting comfy on the ground really close to her like you never said it] Janis: [puts head on his shoulder 'cos throwback to earlier] Jimmy: [when you do a happy sigh but you don't realize you even did] Janis: ['I might just stay out, like, not that bad when it's not freezing or pissing it down' 'cos a bitch never wants to be home] Jimmy: [getting even closer to her cos same tbh 'here?' cos he ain't know places] Janis: [looks around 'cos she's really pondering like a nerd 'it's a pretty good spot, you don't wanna be in the centre of town but you don't wanna be in the middle of nowhere either so, yeah, here would work'] Jimmy: ['Alright' cos lbr anywhere's better than home] Janis: [nods like that's that then] Jimmy: [the awkward moment when you promised your siblings cake & now you ain't coming back rude bitch but he's drunk he aint thinking] Janis: ['You gonna get cold, though?' when you're unbuttoning the jacket like it's big enough to wrap around you both] Jimmy: [buttoning it back up on her like its a speed game lol cos priorities gotta look after the bae, goes without saying that you're northern we don't need to say it boy] Janis: ['Don't let anyone see how badly you want me to keep my clothes on, boy'] Jimmy: [such a genuine lol 'I want you to keep MY clothes on, girl, that's goals'] Janis: [is like valid and snuggles into the jacket/his side more] Jimmy: [when you do the thing where you rub up and down her arms like she's so cold but it's just so you can keep them there after and basically hug because you're a soft boy] Janis: [just allowing it even though you're so #confused like what are we] Jimmy: [king of the mixed message] Janis: ['Jimmy?] Jimmy: ['What?' but in a soft way not like ???!! aggressively] Janis: ['Are we mates now?'] Jimmy: ['do you wanna be mates?'] Janis: ['Come on, answer my question' and punches his arm like before but more gentle] Jimmy: [is giving her a LOOK 'answer my question'] Janis: [quiet af 'why do I have to be the one?'] Jimmy: ['Why are you asking?'] Janis: ['cos I wanna know' gives him a look like duh, that's how questions usually work but it's playful not rude] Jimmy: [Gives her a look like well there's your answer of why you should answer me] Janis: [makes ugh noise 'cos awkward egg but drunk enough to do it so now or never 'well, yeah, you're alright, you know'] Jimmy: [is 😏 smug bitch 'you're less of a dickhead when you drink an' all'] Janis: ['fuck off, dickhead' pushes away] Jimmy: ['no' cos his turn for that] Janis: ['why d'ya think I didn't wanna go first'] Jimmy: [gives her a look as if to say if you wanna be mates you're gonna need thicker skin] Janis: [🙄 like oh please] Jimmy: [returning that eye roll] Janis: ['how dare you' rolling away like okay girl lmao] Jimmy: [gets up like he's gonna go but we know he ain't even] Janis: ['I want more drink' opening her phone like what's nearby lads] Jimmy: [we know he's gonna follow her anywhere] Janis: [just looking at him from where he is] Jimmy: [when he walks back over to 'help her up' which is the most thinly veiled excuse yet boy she don't need you like that she's stronger than you] Janis: [allows it again 'cos you wanna be near him rn even though that cleared up so little lol] Jimmy: [when you haven't let go of her hand after & are just messing around with her fingers but being gentle af like stop being so blatant but also don't ever] Janis: [thumb war obvs] Jimmy: [she should so win we all know he's distracted] Janis: [get to be the 😏 one now] Jimmy: ['where to then?' cos shamelessly change the subject/distract her from the win] Janis: ['Depends, are you gonna get us kicked out again?' and a LOOK 'Maybe I could just get someone to go in and buy us a bottle'] Jimmy: ['Have you checked the view count?' cos obvs that's the only reason he'd do something we see you boy ugh. 'Maybe I could steal us one' with a look cos always up for the challenge we know] Janis: [shakes head 'walk and talk, boy then walk the talk after you've shown me' when you wanna see 'cos shamelessly a mood and a moment we all know] Jimmy: [we strutting] Janis: [when both their phones must be blowing up constant rn] Jimmy: [you know he drunk cos he's totally ignoring his] Janis: ['you really gonna stay out or what?'] Jimmy: ['are you?'] Janis: ['course, I've done worse'] Jimmy: ['Yeah? What've you done, rich girl?' when you're not even taking the piss you just wanna know and also flirt] Janis: [nudges him whilst they walk 'You don't even wanna know'] Jimmy: ['I just asked' nudges her back 'you don't want me to know'] Janis: ['Oh, now he knows how questions work' but smiles not being confrontational with it, then shakes her head 'nah, the more salacious gossip you can spread about me post fake breakup the better, make me sound mega slaggy, standard'] Jimmy: ['Oh the old northern lad is well thick gag' reaches out like he's gonna shake her hand well done but likewise isn't being a dick for once, shakes his head too because hasn't thought about this being over yet but already don't wanna thank you] Janis: [lols genuinely and shakes his hand like the nerds they are, all the lingering always] Jimmy: ['You're alright too, you know'] Janis: ['Thanks' when you say it in the best nbd way you can but you mean it] Jimmy: [adjusting your jacket on her cos TOUCH boy I can't with you stop] Janis: ['you gonna let me keep it?' 'cos if you don't joke rn like what will happen] Jimmy: ['Need a new jacket, do you?'] Janis: ['If I did, I'd steal one, or get daddy's credit card out, wouldn't I' taps his head like remember 'it's #goals ain't it'] Jimmy: ['There's your answer then, ain't it?'] Janis: ['Yeah, but we can just fake it, obviously'] Jimmy: [a v helpful shrug] Janis: ['let's try and buy it first, I don't need garda after me, or me getting in shit with your da, like'] Jimmy: ['my dad ain't bought or bothered about my clothes since I started school, reckon you'll be alright, mate'] Janis: ['I mean the drink, you donut, where am I getting fashion at this time of night? Keep up'] Jimmy: [does a little 'run' to 'keep up' cos he's a nerd throwback to the runner emoji when she said it before but looks back at her seriously cos challenge accepted and he can do it & gonna prove that asap] Janis: [is just loling at the whole charade, what are y'all doing] Jimmy: [when he's like omg you're soooo slow as an excuse to drag her along by the damn hand MORE TOUCH we see you] Janis: 'Boy, you said I couldn't run, make up your mind, like' tutting and smh dramatically] Jimmy: ['I didn't reckon on you only having the two speeds, did I, dickhead?'] Janis: ['You just don't wanna lose, which you would'] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna be vommed on which I would 'cause you would'] Janis: ['Psh, baby; I'm no amateur, alright'] Jimmy: ['you got dizzy off a swing, alright. Leave it out, pisshead'] Janis: [😒 'you are rude'] Jimmy: [does the facial expression equivalent of the sarcastic 💔] Janis: [is now being really slow to be annoying] Jimmy: [knows & fireman lifts her over his shoulder because problem solved] Janis: ['I get it, you 'DON'T' wanna be vommed on, kink unlocked. Also drop me and die.'] Jimmy: ['throw up down my back and I'm dumping you, Joanna'] Janis: ['stop talking about puke or I might'] Jimmy: [when you just walking and carrying the bae you gonna feel this tomorrow boy you're not strong] Janis: [what a sight like hey world lmao] Jimmy: [at least she's not a dress wearing bitch that'd be worse] Janis: [didn't have to go that hard for these establishments lol] Jimmy: [put her down boy ffs but we know he won't unless she actually did feel sick] Janis: [tapping his back when they get near a shop like okay act sober and mature now lol] Jimmy: [thank god we're not letting that doughnut top be a thing haha] Janis: [a lewk] Jimmy: [we all know he's stealing shit to impress the bae #facts] Janis: [just loitering outside, looking so nonchalant] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: 🍀 Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 🍾? Jimmy: you don't wanna put much of an order in then Jimmy: 👑🐎💰 Janis: I don't think they sell ponies in there Janis: maybe in a readymeal but I'm alright, tah Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'm hilarious, I know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: gonna have to stop laughing at you or you won't fit in frame to #pose with me Jimmy: brought this on yourself, bighead Janis: Are you calling me FAT?!?!! Janis: 😱😭💔 Jimmy: Am I registered blind? Janis: Don't make me say that'd explain your fashion sense Janis: trying so hard not to be funny here Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😘 Jimmy: I get it, you miss me Jimmy: Hang on Janis: Yeah, let's go with that Janis: not that I want the bottle or nothing Jimmy: And your plan is to fight me for it, yeah? Jimmy: alright Jimmy: playing nice is fake even for us Janis: Can't decide if kink unlocked or you're just that stupid Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: if yours is insulting lads you're deffo not that into me Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: fake dating is a fate worse than the friendzone, mate Jimmy: not how you do it baby 💕 Jimmy: [comes out cos how long do you need to be in there like, bought 🚬s so its less suss and throws the pack at her cos always throwing shit at the bae] Janis: [good thing she's sporty so she can catch lmao, taking one out immediately 'cos standard, 'where to?'] Jimmy: [takes the mystery bottle out, opens it & takes a swig, giving her a look like you tell me cos don't know where to go & always gets lost lol] Janis: [🙄 but nice so 😏 too, pondering 'we really committing to drinking in the park as well as sleeping there, like' shakes her head like what is life] Jimmy: [swaps the bottle for her 🚬 cos sharing is caring bitch, you could've just got your own but alright be gay] Janis: [walking and dranking and smoking 'cos living your best life obvs] Jimmy: [#goals] Janis: [doing that thing where you keep shoulder bumping each other as you walk Jimmy: [always gotta be touching we see you both] Janis: [back at the park, get under that slide/climbing frame moment 'cos shelter/privacy] Jimmy: [doodling another JJ heart under there like he did earlier but like nobody's seeing it you blatant nerd] Janis: [love that for you, 'they let you do foam art at CG?'] Jimmy: [shows her pics on the CG insta of the hipster bullshit they do, like if we wanna call that art] Janis: [nods like fairplay] Jimmy: [don't worry boy you can live your best art hoe life at the next place but for now he gives her the sharpie so she can write/draw something if she want] Janis: ['no pressure' 😏 but pondering 5eva with the pen in your mouth like a cute ass hoe] Jimmy: [sneaky 😍 cos she's so cute bye] Janis: [draws the hearteyes emoji then does some graf slagging of Mia and co for the lols] Jimmy: [then he draws a skeleton with daggers coming from the eyes cos dats Mia's reaction to the heart eyes] Janis: [lols and draws a herd of sad cows behind her for the squad] Jimmy: [adds like you know when its a ufo and the beam stereotypically but it's a coffee cup with coffee spilling out if you get me] Janis: [draws him in the ufo/coffee cup window like hey] Jimmy: [lols cos the little him & adds her running away with a smoothie in hand but obvs blowing him a kiss as she goes with the other cos] Jimmy: [when you're just passing the pen & bottle between you how coupley af] Janis: [tries to look unamused but fails, draws an OTT sexy Pete with his arms open waiting for her] Jimmy: [tries not to look jealous af but is 😒 cos drunk & no way to control it but draws the band mates in a van HONKING at Pete like get in loser we're famous & changes the open arms to waving bye with dem movement lines haha] Janis: [draws broken heart emoji over her chest and puts devil horns on him and an evil laugh bubble] Jimmy: [draws a little orchestra like the instruments with legs chasing her and one of them has an umbrella open cos there's a sad raincloud over her head now] Janis: [draws her hair even crazier 'cos rain and puts some headphones on 'cos can't hear you beech and does like dust clouds behind her 'cos can't catch me either] Jimmy: [draws a horse shitting money just behind her following cos always taking the piss that she has one] Janis: [draws one of the cows tryna hand him loads of money 'cos grace soz gurl] Jimmy: [puts a ✖ through Grace how rude] Janis: [puts a question mark next to the extra tall one like hmm] Jimmy: [turns it into a little 🐍] Janis: [turns one of the other cows into a skeleton cow with heart eyes like pls] Jimmy: [draws the gun thing they use to kill cows in an abattoir coming for the Mia cow] Janis: [draws a burger that looks so mad to be a burger about to be nommed by a really fat person] Jimmy: [draws a pie next to it waiting to be eaten cos #northern bants] Janis: [draws angel of the north on top but makes her look more like that northern lass stereotype] Jimmy: [draws his dad flirting with the angel but has to draw a dad name tag cos she don't know Ian yet] Janis: [draws christ the redeemer and her having a moment] Jimmy: [lols and another ✖ haha] Janis: [draws zombie jesus coming for him] Jimmy: [Twix has stolen zombie jesus' foot in his addition] Janis: [lols but can't think of anything else so puts a little crown with a poo emoji on him] Jimmy: [draws another cloud but instead of rain it's smoke cos lighting up a new 🚬 IRL] Janis: [writes whatever warning label is on the pack in the cloud] Jimmy: [draws a 🚬 crying cos the haters] Janis: draws them group hugging it and is also like pass me that tah IRL] Jimmy: [draws the 💕 cos true love & obvs does pass her the 🚬 #alsotrueloveamIright] Janis: [when you're just spinning the sharpie now, smoking, thinking] Jimmy: [when you're drinking & looking at her and trying to think about spin the bottle comparisons lol] Janis: [when you go to pass it back so you look at him too like oh hey eye contact] Jimmy: [having a shameless moment cos add to that touching her way more than you need to when you take it] Janis: [taking the bottle when you do for something to do] Jimmy: [casually asking her why she's not in his art class like the nerd he is] Janis: ['don't take the piss!' 'cos when people in your fam can art really well, you wouldn't reckon you were any good even if you're pretty solid] Jimmy: ['I weren't' cos genuinely isn't 'be a laugh if you were there, that's all'] Janis: [shrugs 'bet it already is, like, you must be one of the few lads that does it?'] Jimmy: [shrugs back cos we all know the kind of peeps that take art, not a mood for him] Janis: [let's say they're sitting opposite and taps him with her foot like come on] Jimmy: ['what?' but again not said in a mardy way] Janis: ['I dunno' 'cos truly] Jimmy: [playfully taps her back with his foot] Janis: [footsie moment] Jimmy: [a LOOK because we all know what's up] Janis: [hits hit back with a what but with feeling] Jimmy: [when you're just looking at her lips shamelessly like] Janis: [crawls forward so she's up in his face like 'WHAT'] Jimmy: [pushing her hair out of her face so you can REALLY get that good eye contact cos two fave things] Janis: [just a staring contest rn] Jimmy: [he's gotta kiss her cos there's no way that's not a thing don't smack her head off the slide or anything please] Janis: [so that's happening bye] Jimmy: [when you've wanted to do that this whole night so it's just intense af] Janis: [you're gonna have to stop this at some point girl but not yet 'cos as into it] Jimmy: [enjoy your make out session kids] Janis: [when you have to stop 'cos your phone will not stop blowing up now it's late late] Jimmy: [awks cos boy how are you gonna just go back to chilling like you're not still breathing heavily and feeling all that] Janis: [angrily telling your dad to go away lmao] Jimmy: [soz caleb but when that reminds you that you have siblings that need you, welcome to his guilty mind] Janis: [when the moment has been murdered so you get out of your love nest to pace and light a new 🚬] Jimmy: [when you have to go but you don't wanna just leave her here alone so you sit on the slide & chug so much of the booze that you lowkey feel sick] Janis: [when you give him a look like wtf but you don't say anything 'cos mewd tbh] Jimmy: [when you also don't 100% know the way home either awks] Janis: ['you can go, like'] Jimmy: [when you start walking in the wrong direction cos always lost] Janis: [shouting 'd'ya want a cab or?'] Jimmy: [waves her off like nah 'leave it out, rich girl' also loud] Janis: [when you don't wanna leave it but also what do you say 'cept 'don't die'] Jimmy: ['you ain't getting rid that easy, Juliet'] Janis: [laughs] Janis: text me when you get home safe babe xoxo Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: if you're getting murdered, probably go 999 straight away Jimmy: nah, I'll give 'em your number Jimmy: I know you don't wanna live without the love of your life 😘 Janis: or I just want the nutter caught 'fore he makes his way down here, like Janis: either or 😘 Jimmy: 🥔🍅 Janis: 😂 Janis: how did you find them in this state Jimmy: what state are you on about? ��� Janis: alright Janis: just weak at the knees for me then Janis: wobbling off Jimmy: Yeah 💕 Janis: funny Jimmy: Are you still there? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Jimmy: where the fuck am I? Janis: Oh great Janis: well where are you trying to be, first off Jimmy: where do you think? Janis: obviously but I don't know where you live, idiot Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend Janis: shut up and send me your location Jimmy: [does] Janis: k, do you know your address even a little or Jimmy: Am I 5? Jimmy: lived here for a month, you know Janis: alright, don't get defensive Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: well send it to me then or am I meant to guess Jimmy: you're enough of a know-it-all I'm surprised you already aren't taking guesses Janis: stay lost then dickhead Jimmy: 👍 Janis: see you when you circle on yourself, like Jimmy: looking forward to it 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 Janis: such an idiot Jimmy: such a flirt you Jimmy: trying to find my way home if you don't mind Janis: like you said, if I was flirting with you I'd call you much worse Janis: and like I said, give me your address and I can direct you so Jimmy: come with me Jimmy: not a castle or owt but a sofa's better than a park bench Janis: You're alright Janis: I'll be good here Jimmy: There ain't a puppy here Jimmy: Use your big head Janis: Is there really Janis: 'cos you just sounded like a massive creeper tbh Jimmy: [sends photographic evidence of Twix's existence and the fact she's obvs his] Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's accidentally also sent random pics of him cos drunk] Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: well throw in some free sweets and I'm yours, obvs Jimmy: I'm well photogenic me, you should know that by now, mate Jimmy: and yeah, our kid is 6, sweets I can do Janis: Better behind the 📷 Jimmy: when bae backhands you a good one 💕 Jimmy: so complimentary Janis: overarm ain't bad either Jimmy: duh such an athlete Jimmy: you gonna run to me or what? Janis: 💪 Janis: if you ain't gonna tell me where you live I'll have to, like Janis: can't let you go missing on my watch Jimmy: not while you still need me Janis: Would be potentially awkward explaining the whole fake dating deal to another lad at this point, yeah Jimmy: and that you didn't murder me Jimmy: she caught feelings so 🎯🔪🔪 Jimmy: 👻👻👻 RIP northern lad Janis: might be into that Janis: #kinkunlocked Janis: and *he Janis: drunk texting Jimmy: Nah, I meant you little miss knifeplay Janis: shut up then Janis: and you don't have a knife, just a sharpie Jimmy: just pleased to see you, babe Janis: 🙄 God Janis: drink MUST be wearing off, you're getting annoying again Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: next time I'll swipe you two bottles Janis: n'awh Janis: it was very impressive Janis: and there's no hiding two bottles down your trousers, like Jimmy: #savage Jimmy: I get why you 💘 Jesus, give then take away as quick, you Janis: Oh, I thought we were gonna speculate on Jesus' massive dick Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I'm sure it was Janis: your own da ain't gonna do you like that, is he Jimmy: Mine would if he could Janis: Luckily designer babies are still unethical/he ain't god then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not that we're here to talk about yours Janis: thanks Jimmy: weren't volunteering Janis: Good Janis: 👰🏽 of christ and only interested in his Janis: don't spread that about though Jimmy: But I want everyone to know my girlfriend will only spread her legs for her imaginary friend, like Jimmy: Tweet's already been sent Janis: such a way with words Janis: don't think anyone could blame me 😒 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: if you actually roll your eyes rn you'll never get 'em back Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: have fun Janis: loser Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: done, what else you got, knobhead? Janis: wait and see Jimmy: ⏲🏃 Janis: [give her a min or two to run up on him like boo bitch] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna be shook lol when you have to act like you didn't just shit yourself] Janis: [lols and turns him 'round like first of all] Jimmy: [when you trying to be grumpy but you're shamelessly happy to see her] Janis: ['thought I'd never see you again' but 🤞 with it obvs #bants] Jimmy: [an IRL playful eye roll like see I can do it and also shhh] Janis: ['impressive'] Jimmy: [gives her a flirty look that's meant to be be a pisstake like you ain't seen nothing yet vibes but we all know is serious] Janis: [shakes head like disgusting but clearly not over that kiss/ it ain't forgotten yet like and it shows, 'focus, boy'] Jimmy: [when you had the bottle with you so you finished it and that shows because you're standing way closer to her than you need to] Janis: [more eye contact, 'do you want me to come back with you or not?'] Jimmy: [you know he's drunk cos he's gonna answer a question omg 'I want you to come back with me'] Janis: ['come on then' and gestures like where we going boy] Jimmy: [tells her where he lives cos we ain't getting very far otherwise] Janis: [maps that out and starts walking in the opposite direction he was of course, taking his hand 'cos necessitiy duh] Jimmy: [it's ONLY so he don't get lost okay nothing to see here] Janis: [obvs, don't read anything into this people] Jimmy: [just walking & hand holding] Janis: [when you've gotta swing it like he's a child so this isn't too serious] Jimmy: ['thought we'd covered I weren't 5' but again no real pisstake happening] Janis: ['what are you then?'] Jimmy: ['what do you mean?'] Janis: [shrugs, 'vague for a reason, meant to interpret, artsy boy'] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'I ain't in art class now and you ain't signed up to it'] Janis: ['alright, comfortable silence it is then'] Jimmy: [more walking and hand holding nbd] Janis: ['can't believe you drank it all though, twat'] Jimmy: ['sorry' but 😏 'you can have more when we get back' not soz about sacrificing your stash Ian 'can't knock drink & a puppy, mate'] Janis: [lols and nudges him with her shoulder 'stop being so fucking creepy!'] Jimmy: ['only way to keep you at arms length that' but a LOOK cos we all know he don't wanna and hasn't gotten over the kiss yet either] Janis: ['oh, please' rolls her eyes but is 😳 'I'm only walking you home to be a gentleman, you're the one inviting me in'] Jimmy: ['I reckon its pretty gentlemanly of me not to leave you to sleep in a park, but if you wanna go back that bad, go on'] Janis: ['It's not a big deal, like' looks at him like he's being so drama but still amused enough 'let's get you in first, yeah'] Jimmy: ['I can get myself in, not that pissed, girl' starts walking ahead like he's gonna prove himself with that, okay boy] Janis: [catches up easily, obvs, 'yeah I walked all this way for you to strop off, come on'] Jimmy: ['why did you?'] Janis: ['what do you mean?'] Jimmy: [I mean what I said, why come with me?'] Janis: ['cos you were clearly lost and I'm not that much of a dick that I'll just let you wander 'round 'til morning, like'] Jimmy: ['it's not a big deal, so you reckon'] Janis: ['Well, I weren't lost, it's different'] Jimmy: ['you weren't no safer, same bollocks really'] Janis: ['Yeah I was, I know my way around here, who to avoid, all that'] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 cos letting that drop when you know you can't win 'do you even wanna come?' needy boy alert] Janis: ['do you want me to?' when he's already answered this and you're suddenly him like ???] Jimmy: ['do you wanna?'] Janis: ['I mean, yeah, if it's alright, why not'] Jimmy: [when you just pass her the 🚬 cos yeah its obvs alright with him] Janis: [big ole drag] Jimmy: [when you've got no reason to go back to hand holding but you just wanna so you take hers this time] Janis: [looks but doesn't comment] Jimmy: [we walking lads] Janis: [please try to be quiet when you arrive, like] Jimmy: [they so shouldn't be though cos then Bobby can wake up & cockblock them lol] Janis: [good idea, let that happen] Jimmy: [start as we mean to go on cos he's always doing it down the line] Janis: night Jimmy: I don't get a good one then? Janis: probably not Janis: not got loads of youngers but that's how that goes, yeah? Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: lullabies work better Janis: even I know that Jimmy: Pete ain't here to sing for us and I'm not looking to traumatise the kid Janis: 💔 Janis: we all wish Pete was here Jimmy: Slide into his DMs Jimmy: sure he'd pick you up, mate Janis: at this o'clock Janis: and this wasted Janis: rather hit up the park again Jimmy: Go on then Janis: rude Janis: you said i could crash here Jimmy: you can Jimmy: you're the one 💔 by your lack of better offers Jimmy: I already knew it was shit here Janis: tonight is just like any other night Janis: nothing personal Jimmy: alright, rich girl Jimmy: got it Janis: what do you get Jimmy: your bollocks little memo there Janis: I dunno what you're chatting Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: helpful Janis: night then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what times your dad likely to get up Jimmy: what time is it now? Janis: [some late into the AM time] Jimmy: you might get 7 hours Jimmy: if you piss off to sleep now Janis: we'll call it 6 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: longer if he's got a mrs in there Jimmy: probably will do Janis: well don't reckon I'll stay around to say hello to her either, like Jimmy: I've got work in a bit, go when I leave if you want Janis: long as its you that wakes up to me here I ain't arsed Jimmy: 👌 Janis: sorted Jimmy: 😘😘😘😘 Janis: Piss off 😏 Jimmy: say the sweetest things to me, you Janis: you want sweet I'll go public, like Jimmy: on you go then Janis: [posts something cringe-inducing on his timeline] Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: [replies obvs but there's a flirty undertone that's real af] Janis: [just lowkey flirting this is why y'all get confused[ Jimmy: [stop but don't ever thank you] Janis: how did you do this for real Janis: it's so gross Jimmy: I didn't do all the #s and bollocks Jimmy: It weren't like this Janis: Fair Janis: you don't have to be this level of cringe, I guess Jimmy: you wanna scale it back? Janis: nah Janis: what we need to do Janis: playing to a dense audience Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it ain't real if you don't shove it down everyone's throats Janis: and even then Jimmy: how you paddys do it Jimmy: well #extra Janis: dunno about that Janis: maybe Jimmy: everythings !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jimmy: even speak like it Janis: fuck off do I speak like that Janis: just 'cos it takes you 10 years to finish a sentence Jimmy: that's just me Jimmy: don't wanna talk to none of you, like Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: nowt personal, as you said Janis: what do i care Janis: don't speak to anyone either if i can avoid it Jimmy: I noticed Janis: and what Jimmy: why I picked you for this Jimmy: one of the reasons Janis: gwan then Jimmy: ? Janis: don't pussy out Janis: what are the others Jimmy: to be unlocked Janis: ugh Janis: fuck off Jimmy: alright Jimmy: in a bit Janis: 🙄 Janis: okay Jimmy: isn't Jimmy: #obvs Janis: is Janis: you got to sleep Janis: just didn't know you were such a cocktease Jimmy: could be a kink for all you know Jimmy: which is nowt Janis: no, I'm a know-it-all remember Jimmy: that's how you reckon you are, not how it is, Jillian Janis: bollocks Jimmy: you've got my name and where I'm from 'cause my voice fits Jimmy: nowt else Janis: if you want people to leave you alone, drop the fit and mysterious bit Janis: everyone knows my business and no one fucks with me much Janis: easy Jimmy: yeah so easy you've had to get me to be your fake love interest Janis: no one knows everything they reckon they do Janis: just straightening some things out, literally Jimmy: Punny Janis: Hilarious too Janis: I remember, even if you're hazy Jimmy: vaguely threatening, who said romance was 💀💀? Janis: you will be tomorrow Janis: not a threat, literal facts at this point Jimmy: I'll live Jimmy: there's your day's disappointment ✔ Janis: sweet that you're getting a head start there Janis: but whether you live or die has no influence on me either way 😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: cute tho Jimmy: so everyone keeps telling me Janis: 😂 Janis: loving the confidence Jimmy: I got that from you, yeah Jimmy: love you too, girl Janis: that's a photo caption if I ever heard one Janis: remember Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [comes to get a glass of water as if that's remotely gonna help & you aren't shameless boy] Janis: [casual hissing like 'you could've fucking warned me' 'cos died thinking it was someone else lol] Jimmy: ['You had me topless earlier, I didn't reckon you'd need one' such a dickhead and so 😏 sipping his water thinking about those bodyshots] Janis: [throws a pillow at him like this isn't someone else's house have some manners] Jimmy: [is all faux offended like oi rude but comes and puts the pillow back instead of throwing it like it's not just a shameless excuse to sit down near her] Janis: ['you got manners now?'] Jimmy: ['now?' an eyebrow raise 'I got you a bottle when you wanted one, what's better manners?'] Janis: ['STOLE but you know, guess you've got me there' 😏] Jimmy: ['Duh, got you right where I want you, that creeper, me'] Janis: ['said that was to keep me away so piss poor job, if you ask me'] Jimmy: ['I also said there'd be a puppy but do you see her? Nah, full of shit this dickhead'] Janis: [gasps dramatically but quietly lol] Jimmy: [when you're trying not to smile cos she a cute nerd but you fail cos you drunk and amused] Janis: ['did you lie about the sweets too?'] Jimmy: [gets up, gets sweets and throws them at her but more softly than usual like into her lap as he sits back down cos be quiet boy] Janis: [looks at him like okay 'one outta two ain't bad, like' and offers him some] Jimmy: [shrugs 'if you want me to wake my sister an' all, I'll get the dog' takes a lollipop cos 1. they take ages to eat and he wants to stay 2. he's a saucy bitch] Janis: ['nah, you're alright' 'when you now distracted af, 'scuse you] Jimmy: [when you're trying to give her a look like yeah I knew you didn't want Twix that bad but you're just giving her a LOOK cos blatant] Janis: [when you take the lolly like you really wanted it okay bitch] Jimmy: [when you should care but you're the one who's distracted af now] Janis: [pass it back like it's a smoke or a bottle] Jimmy: [these flirty nerds] Janis: [ze tension] Jimmy: [so much eye contact when he's not shamelessly looking at her mouth, boy please] Janis: ['what?' 'cos always] Jimmy: [repeats it back cos always] Janis: [she can initiate it this time] Jimmy: [give them some good making out time before I ruin it like a rude bitch] Janis: [then you gotta run girl run[ Jimmy: [my vibe is like he name drops cos he wants to slow things down cos SO INTO IT & fucking on his sofa rn having to be really quiet in the dark is not an ideal mood for many a reason so her name comes out cos that whole relationship was hot mess express full of mistakes not cos he's still really into that northern lass but obvs not getting the chance to explain cos it looks how it looks] Janis: [I feel it] Jimmy: [you better hope she don't remember this boy cos it seems like you were really into it and wanna get back with your ex] Janis: [mhmm but she won't obvs just remember she left for a reason so awks] Jimmy: [take that over calling her the most northern name ever that don't begin with J, no styling that out as bants] Jimmy: [when you can't even go after her or make the attempt cos what are you gonna say?] Janis: [that's that on that, like to think mcvickers live nearby so she doesn't need to stay out/go home home rn] Jimmy: [I'll allow it, stay safe thank you children]

[scoutception]

Final Fantasy Mystic Quest: forever standalone

The world of Final Fantasy spinoffs is a wild one. Aside from miscellaneous mobile games, most of what you’ll find is connected to something greater in the end. From the famous Ivalice series containing Final Fantasy XII and the Tactics series, to the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, to more humble Crystal Chronicles series, they’ve all spun out into their own little subseries. Others, however, are connected to series outside of Final Fantasy. Final Fantasy Adventure, for instance, started as its own little spinoff before becoming the start of the Mana series, while The Final Fantasy Legend games were just SaGa games retitled so they’d sell better. Bravely Default owes its existence to an obscure little game called The 4 Heroes of Light, which I shall be covering in my next review, and even World of Final Fantasy has its own mobile game spinoff. The one odd, standalone spinoff through this all is ironically one of the very first; an extremely humble little game called Final Fantasy Mystic Quest, intended as an entry level RPG made for the American audience who, at the time, namely 1992, hadn’t widely accepted JRPGs as a genre. Whether it succeeded in this endeavor is something we’ll be examining now.

Story:

The story of Final Fantasy Mystic Quest concerns a little world cleanly separated into 4 regions of earth, water, fire, and wind, each with an elemental crystal providing blessings on the land. with a tower called the Focus Tower standing at the center of the world, the sole passage between them. All was well in the world until the Vile Four (think the Four Fiends from Final Fantasy I), appeared, sealed the Focus Tower, and attacked each crystal, draining them of energy and robbing the world of their blessings, causing, among other things, a small village to be destroyed by an earthquake. A survivor of the disaster, a boy named Benjamin, meets a mysterious old man on the Hill of Destiny during his escape, who tells Benjamin that he is the Warrior of Light spoken of in an ancient prophecy, who will save the world from this very disaster. Thus, Benjamin, with the help of various allies who tend to ditch him at the drop of a hat, such as the unreliable thief Tristan and the archer Phoebe, who goes into self pity mode rather quickly, and ventures forth to destroy the Vile Four, save the crystals, and ultimately confront the mastermind behind it all, the Dark King.

If this sounds at all familiar, that’s because it is. Yes, they essentially copied the plot of Final Fantasy I, only somehow even less detailed. While you do have actual characters as party members, they aren’t much to write home about, with very basic personalities and very little screentime with which to even put them to use. While the game seems to try to have a jokey, lighthearted feel to it, similar to Final Fantasy V, with events such as the old man randomly appearing to deliver one piece of advice before flying away, often leaving Benjamin baffled, the dialogue is very stilted and only makes it come off as awkward and forced. Outside of the events that lead to the dungeons with each of the crystals being unlocked, there’s no real overarching plot otherwise, and outside of the reveal of the Dark King’s existence, and that he was the one who created the prophecy in the first place, more or less as a joke, which goes absolutely nowhere, there’s no twists to be found. While the simplicity might have been part of the “entry level” design, in the end it just means there’s not much memorable to be found.

Gameplay:

Final Fantasy Mystic Quest uses a turn based battle system similar to Final Fantasy I. At the start of your turn, you select among several commands, such as basic attacking and magic, with the main difference being the party is restricted to a maximum of two characters, one being Benjamin, who is always in the party, and the other occupied by several guest party members who join and leave at various points in the story. Benjamin, as it turns out, is rather versatile, gaining a good assortment of abilities throughout the game. There’s 4 types of weapons he can use, namely swords, axes, claws, and bombs, along with 3 types of magic, which are white magic, used for recovery on allies, or, strangely enough, used offensively on enemies, black magic, plain attack skills, and wizard magic, which are even stronger attack spells. He can also raise his defense with shields, armor and accessories he finds. Benjamin’s allies, on the other hand, aren’t quite as skilled, all being limited to single weapon types, and only a few spells each, though the party member you’ll have for the final dungeon, Phoebe, is a magical powerhouse herself. It should be mentioned that, like FF1, instead of a traditional magic point system, it’s limited by each type of magic only being to be cast so many times without resting or items. The game is, however, quite generous with the amount of casts you’re allowed, reaching past 40 casts for black and white magic at max level.

One thing that must be mentioned is the progression system. Every so often you’ll find a new piece of equipment or spell in a dungeon, or be able to buy them in towns from specific NPCs. This only applies to Benjamin, as the other party members have set equipment, and there’s only a few pieces of equipment for each type. This may not sound like a big deal, but outside of these few instances, it means money is only good for buying consumable items in battle, and since they’re littered all around dungeons anyway, and everything magic points are restored at the end of battle, this leaves few reasons to actually buy them anyway, with the exception of the seeds, which restore all of your magic casts. Every piece of equipment is also always superior to earlier found ones, to the point that they automatically replace your weaker pieces automatically, not even giving you a chance to use them again, leaving them as nothing other than nice looking decoration on your equipment screen. Aside from regular elements like fire and thunder, weapons have their own associated elements to them, which certain enemies will be weaker to than others, and defensive armor carry resistance to status ailments or elemental attacks. Weapons are also used during exploration: swords are used to hit switches, axes are for cutting down obstacles such as trees, claws grapple you to far away areas, and bombs destroy other obstacles like rocks, plus, unusual for an RPG, Benjamin is able to use his stubby little legs to jump, even over NPCs would other be blocking your path like idiots. While an interesting system, don’t expect puzzles or anything like a Zelda game. Your obstacles are bare minimum creativity, and are all easily passed as long as you’re not mostly asleep, which, admittedly, is more of a challenge than it sounds.

There’s no getting around it, this is a very, very easy game. Random encounters don’t exist, with all enemies being set and visible on the field, anything that isn’t a boss is barely a threat anyway, and even if you do meet an unfortunate demise, you can just restart with no penalties. Bosses are generally more interesting, usually being actual threats, but outside of Pazuzu, who periodically puts up a barrier that reflects magic, most don’t need strategies other than attacking and healing. All of this was entirely intentional, considering the game’s goal of being entry level, and I do believe that not every game has to be made for everyone, but all the same, the game feels rather, short shortsightedly designed. Other than collecting every piece of equipment and all the spells, there’s nothing to give replay value, and since anyone who’s played anything even slightly more complex will very likely find themselves bored by the simplicity, it makes for a very disposable game, meant only to fulfill its purpose as an introduction to RPGs, any legacy it has driven by nostalgia. Thus, while the gameplay is technically sound enough, there’s very little reason to give it attention. I wasn’t even intending to wrap up the gameplay segment of this review this quickly, but that shows how little I’ve even been given.

Graphics:

Overall, the graphics of Mystic Quest are, ok. The field graphics resemble Final Fantasy IV, if frankly a bit less detailed and muddier. The locations and designs are rather unmemorable, however.

One thing I can praise, however, are the battle graphics. Aside from some nice spell animations, enemies are much bigger and much more detailed, and while the designs are nothing special, they actually change their graphics as they become more and more detailed, which is a fantastic little detail I wish showed up in more games.

Sound:

There’s really no getting around it, the main legacy of this game is its music, and rightfully so. While the track list is rather small, and there certainly are quite a few unmemorable tracks spread around, the ones that are good are really good, the highlights being the rocking three battle themes, especially the boss theme, and the final dungeon theme. They’re definitely worth looking up for a listen to. In fact, the one game other game in all of Final Fantasy that gave Mystic Quest focused recognition is Theatrhythm Final Fantasy, the game all about music. That alone should be all the indication you need.

Conclusion:

Overall, this is a solid not recommended. Easy and simple on purpose it may be, it’s such a short and dull experience that anyone not explicitly seeking an introduction has no real reason to try it. Even those with morbid curiosity, like me, won’t find much, since it’s not out and out terrible. It holds up ok enough for what it is, but doesn’t even think of being more than that. Even at the time, it was rathe unnecessary, considering Final Fantasy IV had already been released a year earlier, in a massively simplified version. All in all, you’d be better off looking pretty much anywhere else for an introduction to the genre. Till next time.

-Scout

[duckduckduckorgoose]

MarcoAce Week 2018: Day 1

@marcoaceweek

1st October: Deep/Light Word count: 3001

This fic went all over the place, and I don’t even know what happened in the end. Enjoy. 

"Please, I- we want it."

"I know that Roger, I never doubted it, but don't you know the consequences it will have for your child? They will be forever bound to me, and there is no telling what that will do."

"We don't care about that, I will leave this world soon enough, let me at least leave behind someone to take care of Rouge."

It was long ago that the man had come to the Phoenix, wishing for a child for him and his lover. He had been desperate, to the degree that he entered a deal that many would consider uncertain. Perhaps even unethical. Nevertheless, the man's wish had been granted.

Months went by, or years, it was becoming difficult to tell for the Phoenix, and soon the knowledge of the death of the man reached the mountain where it resided. The world's most wanted bandit was gone, ripped from the mortal world by the hands of the crown. All children that could have been his offspring were taken and the worldwide search brought many deaths.

What became of his child was a mystery.

It was a cold evening outside of the tavern. The snow fell rapidly from the sky and all roads were covered with a thin sheet of ice, threatening those who didn't watch their step. All people who weren't huddled up in their homes and for some reason went outside in this weather wore enough clothes for a small village. Pelts and scarves were seen everywhere. No one dared set a foot on the other side of the door without a pair of thick gloves on.

It had been like this for a few days according to the townsfolk that Ace had spoken with. He had only just arrived, stumbled through the heavy door freezing and starving, and he was still in the same condition as he was before he reached the tavern.

A large mug of what he presumed was ale and a plate filled with warm foods were presented before him. The lady who placed them there only nodded slightly when looked up at her to give his thanks. She had oddly white hair and a piece of cloth that tied it back.

Ace almost finished his meal in one bite. The warmth spreading inside of him was calming and he had never had a more enjoyable drink than the one he had right now.

"You don't think you're rushing that a bit too much?" a voice said next to him. It was a man, surely a good ten years older, who's blond hair resembled an exotic fruit more than it did any hairstyle Ace had seen before. His cocky smirk was as suggestive and exciting as it was pure. Overall Ace found him to be devilishly good-looking.

Ace grinned slightly. "Not really," he answered him and waved at the waitress to refill his mug. If he was going to continue his journey the next morning with the weather still looking like this, he would need something to keep his spirits up.

"So, tell me, what brings an obvious south-dweller like you to the cold north?" The stranger, who Ace began to find more and more handsome with every glance, asked him.

"South-east, actually, and I suppose there's no harm in telling you my business," Ace began his answer and drank another mouthful of ale. "I'm looking for someone, or well, something." He looked down at the bar-table and sighed. Whether it was one of joy or sorrow not even he could tell.

"Do tell."

"Have you heard of the great Phoenix?"

The stranger chuckled before letting his lips form a smirk. "Have I heard?" Another chuckle escaped him. "Well, I have to say that I have, one of the perks of being the only one that wanders up the mountain you're headed for."

"Of course. You believe it's a legend, then?" Ace wondered, slightly discouraged by the tone in the man's voice. Everyone so far had laughed at him for even believing such stories, but he knew that his grandfather had not lied to him when he told him of the Phoenix his father had struck a deal with. The deal that killed his mother.

"Legend? Oh, no. It's very real. Upon the highest peak lives the immortal bird of fire. I've seen it once myself, a bird like no other," the stranger said seriously, every hint of mockery gone.

"Could you take me there? I mean, if it's not too much trouble."

"Of course."

Days went by before they even reached the foot of the mountain through the storm. The stranger, whose name Ace had learned was Marco, hadn't talked much during the journey and remained a mystery. Ace, however, hadn't really spoken or revealed anything either, the weather had been too rough for that.

"What drives you to seek out the Phoenix?" came the sudden question as they sat down by the fire in their camp during the brief second that the snowfall had paused.

Ace sighed. "It's a bit of a personal matter, really. Otherwise, I would've brought others."

Marco raised his eyebrows but didn't press him further. "Others?"

"Yeah, my crew. We're like adventurers, call ourselves The Spades."

Ace looked at Marco with a large grin, glad to have a new companion. Sure, he missed his crew, but this wasn't for them. "We do the jobs that people want done. The crown even offered to hire us. We declined, of course. And then came this and then they— well, they..." He trailed off with a frown on his face.

"You must lead an exciting life, then?"

"I did. It's nowhere near as exciting as my brother's, though," Ace answered, quickly changing the subject and smiling fondly as he somewhat forgot that he only had known the man he was talking to for a couple of days. Marco nodded along, leaving room for Ace to continue talking.

"You know Alabasta? The desert kingdom? Well, Luffy and his friends have already turned that place upside down. And recently they declared war on the crown, all for the sake of one of their friends."

Ace continued telling stories, both about his brother and about himself, as Marco listened with a smile.

"This one time, when he started out, he even took on and defeated-"

Loud snoring was heard after Ace slumped down where he sat. It was far into the night and most nights continued that way on their journey up the mountain. Marco got Ace to open up more and more, and so the young man told him stories about his brother, the bandits who raised him and every once in a while about himself. Then, of course, he fell asleep. It was frustrating, because as safe as Ace felt in the presence of the man, he hated how easily he trusted him.

All his life he'd done things by himself, and now a stranger could come and help him without consequence? It wasn't right. Yet, it felt right. Every evening he would find himself sitting across Marco and putting his whole life out in the open, and every morning he would curse the fact that he let it happen again.

"You're not having second thoughts about seeing the Phoenix, are you?"

The question was sudden, and certainly not expected. "What do you mean?" Ace countered, feeling slightly hurt by the words. Did Marco not believe he had what it took? Or was he just another who treated his goals as a joke?

"Nothing, really." The tone was blank and Marco shrugged as he said it. "It's just that most people don't make it this far, and if they do, they usually turn around when I tell them we're just halfway there. They never have a goal important enough to make it to the top."

"Well, I do," Ace said defensively. "But if people find it so tiring to venture up the Phoenix's lair, how come you agree to show them there?"

Marco smiled slightly. It was a question he had wanted to hear. "I would say that it's because I want to help the souls who believe that they are worthy of seeing the Phoenix, but I don't enjoy lying. I'm just waiting for someone, and hopefully, they'll come to find me on these tracks."

Ace nodded along. "And no one has been worthy yet?"

"Only one, as far as I know. It was a man, he ventured up the mountain all alone, and when he returned, everyone already knew it. He had obtained the Phoenix's light. That would be around... twenty years ago now? No one has completed the journey since."

Anyone could see how Ace's face went dark after that comment, yet Marco only continued his story with a calming smile stuck on his lips. "Some say he battled with the creature, and that by taking the light it held, he killed it. They say that's why the Phoenix hasn't been seen since then. Others believe that the Phoenix lives, only that the man outsmarted it and stole the light, thus making it unable to leave its lair to fly around. That the man made a deal of trickery is a popular opinion. Then there are those who argue that the man was gifted the light, that he was blessed and received it in good faith."

Ace looked down and avoided the gaze of the man before him. It would hurt too much to see him answer with truth in those beautiful blue eyes of his. "Then what do you think?"

"I believe that the Phoenix gave the man its light willingly."

The answer surprised the young traveller whose eyes immediately shot up to meet the ones of the older man. There were no signs of lies. "You what? But how? You said it yourself, the Phoenix hasn't been seen since then, what if the man did kill it?"

Marco chuckled. "He didn't, I'm sure, the Phoenix is simply waiting for its light to return."

"And what if it never does?"

"Don't worry, it will."

As the days went by they only got closer and closer to the finishing line. Ace never let go of the routine of the late night conversations, and Marco still didn't say much. That was, until the second to last evening.

"Will you tell me now?" Marco wondered.

"Tell you what?"

"The reason you're here. You said it was personal, but I don't think it's as personal as you let on. I think it's something that has to do with someone other than yourself."

Ace froze. Did Marco know? He had to. If Ace's father had been the only one to reach the Phoenix, then there had to have been someone that recognised him as Gold Roger. That ruthless murderer whose name always was one said with hatred. The heartless man who gave away a woman's life only to produce a child. The embodiment of evil itself.

The terror and fear must have been evident on Ace's face because as soon as his trail of thoughts started, Marco's expression turned into one of worry. "Ace?"

As if snapped out of a trans, Ace turned to him. "Yes? Oh, right, why I'm here." He tried to smile, but it wasn't easy. Had he been in the company of his crew, he would have kept a brave face and dismissed the subject. Now, there was no way he could.

Marco moved closer, soon sitting right next to him with his gaze fixed on the freckles of the boy. "You don't have to tell me, but I can feel that it's been bothering you. For me, things always become easier when I've talked it out."

"Yeah..." Could he tell him, though? Ace's mind said no. His heart told him yes, but he never really listened to that heart of his. "It's a long story, but I suppose that I'm looking for answers. Answers and peace."

Marco wasn't pleased but he seemed to accept the short reply.

Soon, the day of their arrival came and they stood before the entrance to the cave in which the Phoenix resided. According to Marco that was it. Ace could feel the weights on his shoulders and the boulders in his stomach as he took one step after another before realising that Marco didn't follow when he looked back. Marco wasn't there anymore.

Ace continued walking into the darkness and did so for what felt like hours, days. The darkness consumed him and as he neared the end he could only feel the need to go back. To run out of the cave and forget everything. To crawl back into the corner of his room at Dadan's place. To laugh in the company of his crew. To see Sabo again, alive this time. To spar against Luffy once more. And, strangely enough, to feel safe in the arms of the stranger who brought him there.

In the midst of the terror, though, there should be a bird.

Reminded of what he had come here for, Ace fought against the urge to run away. He walked further and further into the mountain and hoped to reach the Phoenix soon. For every muscle he used, he could feel how the darkness affected him more. It wasn't until he almost saw his life flash before his eyes that he stumbled upon the creature he was searching for.

"Show yourself!" he yelled into the air surrounding him. Though he couldn't see a thing, he felt the presence of something watching him.

A tapping on the stone floor drew him to the right. It was a steady rhythm and lead him right to the body of what couldn't be human, though it was the right size, and couldn't be a bird, though it had the right shape.

"Human, I cannot show you something when you cannot see..." came a hoarse voice. It was breathy, as if it was its last words. Ace knew it from somewhere, but he couldn't figure out where.

"Tell me, whatever happened to your mother?"

Normally Ace would've reacted to the words, but it was no surprise that the Phoenix would know of his heritage. That it knew of his father. "She died when I was born, as a result of my father's meddling with life and death."

The Phoenix snorted, though Ace was sure that it was supposed to be a chuckle. "Your father simply struck a deal, he did not cause the death of Rouge."

"So you're the one responsible, then?"

"Did I say I was?" It sounded offended now. "I can give you your answers, but only when you have given me my light back."

Ace's eyes widened. Was the bird crazy? He held no light and no matter what his father had done with it, he had no way of knowing. "I can't."

"Yes, you can. Just allow me to take it back, and I will give you what you desire."

"But I don't have it."

"Yes you do, so will you allow me to take it?"

Ace frowned. "Yes?"

"Then give me your arm."

Shortly after he had reached out with his right arm, he felt how a wing made of bone and feathers grabbed it in an iron grip. At first, he wanted to rip it away, but slowly he relaxed and waited for something to happen.

Something did happen. 

Thin strings of light began to glow around his wrist, slowly reaching the wing of the Phoenix. It was like an extension of his veins, only flowing with white energy instead of blood, barely lighting up the area around the arm. But when the thin strings had wrapped around the legendary creature before him they were being absorbed.

Soon the hall was not so dark anymore for in the middle of the black was a being, unlike anything that Ace had ever seen before. Yellow and blue flames became the wings and the body that towered over him.

"Now, I can tell you."

Ace nodded.

"Your father came to me pleading for one last chance to have a child. He was desperate. His sickness was after many years finally becoming the end of him and he didn't want to leave his wife without anything. I knew the importance of it, and I knew of the consequences it would mean for me and you. It was neither he nor I who caused the death of Rouge. My light is one of creation and destruction, and only the part full of life was given to Roger. We didn’t realise how it would affect me, or you."

“What do you mean?”

“The cold doesn’t have much effect on you. You can feel how it bites your skin, but it doesn’t leave you injured. The fire doesn’t harm you, it burns but it never leaves a mark. You never run out of energy, you are energy. You have been born with the power that the D’s have been forced to conceal for centuries. You have the fire of a dragon.”

The Phoenix seemed to sigh, its flames burning less and less bright for every minute. “I have a proposition for you, let me teach you to handle your power and in return, I will give you a safe haven where the evils of the crown cannot reach you.”

"I couldn't go with a stranger."

"Oh really?"

The fire of the bird swirled around it and disappeared, leaving a man in its place. More specifically, the same man that brought him there. “I am many things, Ace, but I am not stupid. Your power is one of greatness, and with it, you can do a lot of good.”

“Marco? How? What? Why—”

“Will you come with me, Ace? Do you trust me?”

There was a long pause before the answer came, but it wasn’t a pause of doubt. Marco, still surrounded by fire, already knew the answer. 

“Yes.”

“Then take my hand.”

“Just one thing, where will we go?”

Marco chuckled, and the flames around him brightened. “Have you heard the legends of Whitebeard the Giant?”

“Who hasn’t?”

“Well, he’ll be pleased to have his son back.”

[skrode-rider]

Kami Skill Vol. 1 Ch. 4 - Dungeon Guild and the First Dungeon

The guild receptionist --Anna talks with a smile.

"Basically, it's good to have a job that matches your skills. You can change jobs as your level goes up, and if you want to form a party, you can adapt to the people around you, but in the end, you're only one person♪"

Anna takes out a sign that says "Please wait a moment" and stands up. We were beckoned to a table in the back. It seems that this was done in consideration of not being heard by those around us.

"There are people who take 15-year-old adventurer rookies for sitting ducks, so be careful!"

"Yes, yes..."

"Wow, scary..."

"Well, in the beginning, we're always acting together and don't go too far to the edge of the dungeon. Be careful. But even so, Rana-kun, isn't your level so high?"

"Yes!　I've been training in swordplay with one of our regular adventurers!"

"That's not the way you raise it... Well, it's fine. Instead, your skill is..."

"Yes. It's a skill I've never heard of..."

"【Breathing】. I don't recognize it either, but these kinds of things are not uncommon. Don't worry about it♪ Maybe it's a skill that allows you to breathe underwater?"

"Oh, I get it…!"

I am impressed.

"And you know, not everything is written in the status column. It's often written in a pretty vague way."

"Is that so?"

"Will you two party together?"

"Um,"

"Yes! I'll form one! I want to make a party with Ra-kun!"

Pierina insists while making a goofy face.

I guess it's because last night I said we shouldn't have a party after all.

"You don't want to have a party? Why?"

"Well there's a bit of a backstory, and my goal is to dive to the lowest level in a year. That would require me to be quite reckless, and it could be dangerous....... I can't involve Pierina in this, too."

"No, you can't abandon me now!"

"Yes Yes ♪ Stop Stop ♪ Rana-kun, I really hope you don't want to answer this, but why one year?"

I was a bit hesitant,

"To tell you the truth-"

And I tell her about my sister's condition.

"The [Witch of the North]........ I see......... Come to think of it, I received a request like that..."

"I heard about that too! So I wanted to help! But Ra-kun!"

"Yes, yes ♪ Rana-kun is worried about Pierina-chan. Isn't it hard for you to do this by yourself?　I mean, I don't think it's possible. To get to the lowest level that no one has ever gotten to, in less than a year, by yourself."

But when I tried to argue with her,

"But you're not alone. You have a partner you can count on, so maybe you can do it♪"

"But……"

"And Pierina-chan, if he leaves, you'll still come along, won't you?"

"Yes, Ra-kun! I'll stick with you forever! Because it's going to be super!"

"Don't.... No, yeah, okay. Let's form a party, Pierina."

"………………"

Pierina's face instantly lit up.

"Yeah!"

"I'm smiling♪ I hope it doesn't turn out badly for you two♪"

Anna said, still smiling and making me uneasy. Scary.

"Well, let's get back on track and choose your job class. Here you go."

She showed me a sheet. It shows various job titles and descriptions.

――――――――――――――――――

・You can choose from the following 6 basic job titles.

☆ Martial Artist...Able to move quickly to win in a single move and, as their level increases, is able to use ki to strike a powerful blow.

☆ Warrior...The core of the party who can equip heavy weapons and protective gear. Good at both attacking and defending.

☆ Mage...They can defeat enemies from afar with powerful attack magic. If you get too close, they'll have to resort to x

☆ Monk...Able to heal wounds. They are not good at offensive magic, but they can use light weapons.

☆ Thief...Although they have low fighting ability, they can learn many skills necessary for exploring dungeons.

☆ Clown (male)/Dancer (female)...Fun to have around. They make the party more lively.

※You can change jobs at Lv20. It is also possible to transfer to an upgraded job.

※We recommend a party of up to four people. This is due to the characteristics of transfer crystals.

・When your job level goes up, you will learn skills. It could be magic or swordsmanship.

・Example) At Warrior level 5, you will learn the skill [Swordsmanship Lv5].

・Example) At Mage level 1, you will learn the skill [Fire Light].

――――――――――――――――――

I ask.

"What is this upgraded job?"

"Literally, it's a job that ranks above the standard jobs♪ For warriors, there's [Berserker], or [Holy Knight]. For mages, there's [Archmage], and so on. It's very difficult to earn one♪"

"You need to be at least level 20, right?"

"In addition to that, there are all kinds of tests. It's very difficult."

"Oh, really?"

"Most adventurers settle down around level 15, so there aren't many of them. Rana-kun, you should definitely try to go for it too!"

"Yes!"

An upgraded job, huh? I'd like to get one someday... or rather, you probably can't reach the lowest level until you're that accomplished, I'm sure.

I selected [Thief] as my job. It's because it seems to be useful in many ways, and if you don't have a Thief, you can't explore dungeons. The [starting equipment] was a dagger, two knives and chest armor. The guild provided me with them.

My status that I got from the guild was like this.

Name: Rana Prata Human: Lv25 Thief: Lv1 HP: 40 MP: 0 Attack: 30 Defense: 25 Agility: 50 Abilities: Lockpicking Lv1, Detect Lv1, Tracking Lv1 Skill: 【Breathing】 You can breathe in and out.

The number written next to 'human' is the [plain level]. This is the plain level Anna was talking about earlier. People who don't have an adventurer's job class are marked with their combat ability level next to their race.

I was surprised to see that my level had reached 25. Normally, until about the age of 20, your age equals your plain level, which means I'm 10 levels above the average.

It was worth it to learn the sword from a strong adventurer. I'll have to thank him next time.

Below that is the job title and its level.

If you choose an adventurer's job class, your status will increase far more than a colorless plane.

By the way, plain is not "no job" but instead "colorless". I've heard it means that you are not colored by a guild job. My father is also plain, but he's an innkeeper, so he's not unemployed.

But that's not the point.

"Pierina, you're a [mage] ♪ Of course this is the best way to make use of your skills ♪"

"Yes!"

This is Pierina's status. She has already learned one skill. It's probably because she chose the job of a mage. I'm jealous of her skills as they seem strong.

Name: Pierina La Mode Human: Lv14 Mage: Lv1 HP: 14 MP: 20 Attack: 14 Defense: 14 Agility: 14 Abilities:Fire Light: Consumed MP: 2 Skill: 【The Blessing of the Witch】 You can easily learn magic. Magic effects increase.

And so it goes.

About two hours after we arrived at the guild's reception desk.

We were standing at the entrance of the dungeon wearing the 【Initial Equipment】 that we were provided with.

"Alright, let's go, Pierina!"

"Oh!"

It was my first dungeon.

I've always wanted to be an adventurer since I was a kid.

--Just wait and see, Mary. I'll wake you up, I promise.

Pierina and I nodded to each other and we took the first step.

"Let's start with the first level today."

"Yes!"

When I suggested this, Pierina raised her hand.

She said there are a total of 100 layers in the dungeon. No one has ever reached the bottom, but that's just what the queen says.

Fortunately, the guild will provide you with a map until the fifth level. There are lights here and there on the path up to that point, so there's little chance of getting lost.

The first level is wide and there are many adventurers coming and going. It's no surprise that this is the starting point.

Most people were walking on the same route. Is it a stairway to the second layer, or a teleport point?

Our goal for today is to go around the first layer, so we're outside the flow of people.

The girl at the reception desk - Anna said, "The first three days are the easiest to die on ♪ If you don't want to turn Pierina-chan into goblin x, please be careful ♪". Scary.

Pierina didn't really understand the meaning.

Well, she's that kind of person.

Pierina is humming cheerfully.

"You're having fun, Pierina"

"Yeah! I'm finally on an adventure with Ra-kun!"

"Hah, you also wanted to be an adventurer?"

"It's not so much about the adventure. It's about being with Ra-kun"

"Mary would be surprised to hear that."

"Oh I'm sorry, it's for Mary's sake.... We shouldn't be having fun, should we?"

Pierina winces.

This isn't right. Let me set the record straight.

"No, don't worry about it. If you're too tense, you won't be able to do well. In fact, you'll be more effective if you enjoy yourself."

"Is that right? But we need to help Mary as soon as possible..."

"This isn't like you, Pierina. This is a rescue mission, okay?　Those who help are calm and collected. And be quick. If you push yourself too hard, it won't work."

"If Big Brother Ra, says so..."

Yes, I can't be hit by this soul-burning frustration that is killing me. I have to endure this heart-rending pain. I'll never dare to forget Mary even if it was necessary to save her.

"-- Diego says it too."

"Diego, the swordsman?"

"Yeah. He's an adventurer who sometimes stays at our inn. He's my teacher."

"Right," said Pierina.

"Let's have fun!"

"Let's do our best!"

"Oh!"

And at the same time Pierina raised her staff, something fell from above.

A light blue wobbly object - no, a monster.

It's a slime.

[totallymotorbikes]

Josh Day Reflects On 2016, His Most Challenging Year Yet In Motorcycle Road Racing Begin Press Release: Josh Day Reflects On 2016, His Most Challenging Year Yet In Motorcycle Road Racing Orlando, FL – January 3, 2017 – For motorcycle road racer Josh Day, 2016 was a year that he will remember for the rest of his life. Josh’s situation evolved from life-threatening, to life-saving, to life-altering, and now, as 2017 begins, the quiet, ever-likeable Floridian’s current situation can best be described as life-affirming. A certain degree of risk and danger are inherent in the sport of motorcycle road racing, and every rider, every crew chief and team member, every family member, everyone directly involved in the sport, and virtually every fan know full-well of the perils. It’s the cumulative effects of those perils that can sometimes forever change one’s destiny. For Josh Day, his unfortunate crash in the first round of the 2016 MotoAmerica Championship at the Circuit of The Americas in Austin, TX, set about a chain of events that he didn’t realize, let alone fully grasp, until months later. “That crash at COTA essentially contributed to the crash I had at Road Atlanta, and to the crash I had at Road America, which ended my season,” Josh said. “After the Road America incident and the brain injury I suffered there, my treatment and rehab revealed that the concussion I sustained at COTA was exacerbated by the second concussion I suffered at Road Atlanta, and what happened at Road America was basically ‘three strikes’ for me, to put it in baseball terms. And I was out, not only out as in knocked unconscious, but out of the sport of racing motorcycles.” Together with his wife Lauren, Josh came to the conclusion that his career as a road racer is officially over. “I’m not going to say ‘retired’ because road racers hate that word, especially when they’re only 27 years old like I am,” commented Josh. “‘Retired’ is for people over the age of 65, and I’ve got almost 40 years left in me before I reach that point! So, I’m just going to say that I will no longer be racing a motorcycle professionally. But that doesn’t mean that I am walking away from the paddock. “Racing a motorcycle has been a dream profession for me, and I have so many people to thank for helping me along the way. I’m so grateful to my family, my friends, and all the fans for believing in me. I’ve met so many fantastic people all over the world, been to countries that I never even imagined I’d visit, and shared success with a lot of great people who I will never forget. I’m very blessed to have the racing career I did.” When asked what’s next on the horizon for Josh, he said, “I want to remain in the MotoAmerica paddock, either as a rider coach, or a member of a crew or race team, but I’m really motivated to offer my assistance to one particular aspect of the sport, and it’s an underserved area.” And that aspect is the life-affirming part for Josh. “I learned a lot about head trauma, concussions, and even CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) during the second half of the 2016 season, after my crash at Road America. Concussion assessment and protocols are obviously hot topics these days in most of the stick-and-ball sports, but it’s an underserved area in motorcycle racing, not only here in the U.S., but around the world. I’d like to be an advocate for baseline testing of riders so that a formal concussion protocol could become a required safety procedure in motorcycle road racing. Josh explained, “I attended the final round of the MotoAmerica season at New Jersey Motorsports, and it was great to be in the paddock again. But, one of my primary goals was to speak with MotoAmerica officials about what I experienced and to help develop a policy for possibly preventing, or at least mitigating, what happened to me from happening to other riders in the future. My discussion with MotoAmerica was encouraging, and we continued that discussion again in October during the AIMExpo, which I attended in order to keep the dialogue going.” Josh is very motivated to advocate for increased safety measures and monitoring of head injuries in MotoAmerica, and he sees the recent rules changes in the American Flat Track Series as a step in the right direction. “American Flat Track is going to do base testing of all its riders prior to the 2017 season, in order to create a concussion protocol. That’s great news, and it’s something that I’d love for MotoAmerica to adopt, as well. Let’s get all our road racers baseline-tested so that if, God forbid, someone crashes and suffers a head injury, they can be evaluated, and steps can be taken to prevent an injured rider from suffering the same cumulative effects as I did from the three successive concussions that I sustained this past season. So, as the New Year dawns, Josh Day is embarking on a new chapter of his motorcycle road racing career. Look for him, at some point in the near future, amidst the teeming hustle and bustle of the MotoAmerica paddock as he continues working in the sport he loves. Josh Day Reflects On 2016, His Most Challenging Year Yet In Motorcycle Road Racing appeared first on Motorcycle.com News.