#very least you may not entirely get rockstar without the guitar but she does have the drum

[pcktknife]

On a Genshin Poll from a while ago, you said that you could talk about Xinyan way more and it would be nice hear those thoughts! Xinyan is one of favorite Genshin characters (her design is so cool) so if you don't mind talking about her more, I'd love to hear it!

oh i didnt mean xinyan specifically in general i like talking about design (critiquing.nitpicking.praising.etc) so it really extends to most any of the characters. but you asked about xinyan so ill talk about xinyan. design wise shes very nice to look at for. her colors are all so warm with one of my favorite palettes (black/red/white). shes on the simple side compared to alot of other characters and i think its nice makes her alot easier to draw. pretty easy design to remember. for me anyway (big sleeves/braids.big collar. big hair.spikes) i dont really need to give specific reasons tbh her design is just really good. one of the pyro characters ever

[troped-fanfic-challenge]

TROPED: JATP MASTER LIST

And for our encore, the Master List of all 53 (fifty-three!?) fanfics written for our FIRST Julie and the Phantoms TROPED event!! It was such a treat for us to see how a new fandom took on our prompts! We, here at TROPED, love it when our authors push the limits of what a trope can be, and this fandom kept us on our toes, and we loved every word! We hope you enjoy these trope bending, phantastic fics as much as we did!

New rockstar writers joined us for the first time for this event, which is the coolest thing for us! We love getting to see how different fandoms interpret our prompts and how you see these stories through the lens of different characters. We learned a lot about how to run an event this round, with new voices helping us to make TROPED better, which was so exciting. We came out of this event with new ideas, and we’re pumped for what’s next! We hope you’ll join us again soon ;)!

*Some summaries have been edited for length. Tumblr has a max post length. Who knew!

ROUND 1: ANGST FICS

The Tropes:

Character discovers they’re not human

Coffee Shop AU

Poorly Timed Confession

Character A catches Character B crying

————

the sky was gray and white and (cloudy) (Rated T) [Alex x Willie] by @screamin-amuseum

Summary: “I’ve got you,” Willie’s whispering over and over, panic creeping into his voice. “Alex, I’ve got you, okay? Come on, baby, come on, it’s okay, I’ve got you, you’re gonna be okay, I love you–”

Alex spits out what feels like a clot of blood and gives Willie a tired grin, probably looking completely insane.

“That’s pretty gay of you,” he says, just as his vision clouds over and he passes out.

Honey, You’re Familiar (Like My Mirror Years Ago) (Rated T) [Julie x Luke] by nik_knows_nothing

Summary: Luke works at a coffee shop, which is normal, quietly pines after his coworker, which is normal, and also occasionally steals people’s faces without really meaning to.

It’s probably that last part that moves him pretty solidly out of the “normal” territory.

But that’s fine, that’s totally cool.

He’s handling it super well.

You Can’t Value People Less Than a Good, Hot Cup of Bean Juice (It Just Seems Rude) (Rated T) [Julie x Luke] by nik_knows_nothing

Summary: Julie gets a job at a coffee stand in the middle of nowhere.

It’ll help to pass the time, if nothing else.

And if there’s a cute guy who works the shift after her and sometimes leaves her ridiculously endearing messages on an ancient tape recorder?

Well, that’s just a bonus.

honest to god I’ll break your heart, tear you to pieces and rip you apart (Rated T) [Julie x Luke] by @tonightthestarsalign

Summary: the siren!Julie AU no one asked for

new instincts (Rated T) [Luke x Reggie] by @comeonpeters

Summary: Reggie is fine with being the only human member of his band, Julie and the Phantoms (tell your friends!), just like he’s fine with being the only single member. It doesn’t make him feel lonely, and he’s only picking up more shifts at the coffee shop because he needs more money, not because he’s avoiding being alone. And picking up more shifts at the coffee shop is making the work easier! He’s only a little confused by the fact that he can now touch the espresso machine mid shift without burning himself… must be all of the experience.

you look like you’ve just seen a monster (is that what i look like to you?) (Rated T) [Bobby x Alex x Luke x Reggie] by @aroacethetic-shitpost

Summary: it’s angsty tiefling bobby time, folks!

We Are Monsters, We Are Proud (Rated G) [Flynn x Carrie, Julie x Luke] by @americanhoney913

Summary: Carrie finds herself at a college like no other in search of her dad and some answers. Julie’s not feeling good and maybe staring at roses wasn’t the best idea.

Monster College/Coffeeshop AU

sending forth their beautiful voice, and my heart was fain to listen (Rated G) [Julie x Carrie] by @madeline-kahn

Summary: Months after the death of her mom, Julie prepares to sing again and makes an upsetting discovery.

rise from the ashes (Rated M) [Alex x Willie] by @willexxmercer

Summary: At a time when everything was going wrong for Alex, the one bright spot in his life was the charming barista at the coffee shop he frequented. At least, it was the bright spot until everything went up in flames. All he could do was hope that they could rise from the ashes and figure things out together.

Siren’s Song (Rated T) [Ray x Rose] by hufflebibin

Summary: The Scopuli was never meant to be a permanent arrangement. Rose had taken the job straight out of school just looking to make a little extra money before the tour kicked off.

That was four years ago.

After a string of bad luck befalls Rose and the Petal Pushers, she can’t help but wonder if she is the problem. Or is there something more sinister at play?

Yellow (Rated T) [Julie & Reggie] by @tmp-jatp

Summary: Reggie just wanted to get some new guitar strings. A shapeshifter!Reggie au

Angels Like You (Rated T) [Luke x Reggie] by @sunsetcurveofficial

Summary: Reggie is having a bit of a weird day. It gets worse when he figures out that it’s because he died in his sleep and has somehow been walking around as a ghost without realising it. Meeting Luke helps. Luke says he’s a fellow ghost, and there is something about him that Reggie just feels drawn to. Falling for him is the easiest thing Reggie has ever done, but Luke is a little more than he lets on, and it turns out that their story actually started long before Reggie thought it did.

look into my eyes (it’s where my demons hide) (Rated T) [Flynn x Carrie] by @fanfics-she-wrote

Summary: Hiding out from demons was never a desirable nightmare. Of course, Carrie would much prefer a run-for-my-life nightmare than actually running for her life. Having Flynn around is a very welcome soothing balm, though.

Bring All The Monsters Out To Play, Let All The Red Erase The Grey (Rated T) [Bobby & Reggie] by @kennysbirthday

Summary: Mythologicals, Reggie realised, were kind of like queer people. Sometimes your Token Human friend turns around one day and admits that actually, there was something they were suppressing all along, and they hadn’t realised.

–

Reggie’s final exam has been pushed forward at the most inconvenient time. Bobby is sick, Alex is missing, and now he needs to help a selkie get their ‘Happily-Ever-After’ in order to scrape a passing grade. Oh, and if his boss catches him handing out more free coffee, he’s gonna get fired.

————

ROUND 2: FLUFF FICS

The Tropes:

Exes

Time Loop AU

Camp Counselors

Prank Wars

————

Okay, Campers, Rise and Shine! (Rated T) [Julie x Luke] by nik_knows_nothing

Summary: The Groundhog Day meets Gravity Falls meets Summer Camp meets The Author’s Own Distaste For Prank Wars AU that no one asked for. Ever. At all.

Starting To Forget (Just What Summer Ever Meant To You) (Not Rated) [Flynn x Carrie] by bi_magic

Summary: Last summer didn’t end on a positive note for Carrie Wilson - she and her girlfriend broke up on the last night of camp, and she’s been miserable since. But it seems that the universe is intent on having her fix that this summer. Even if that means she has to live through the same day over and over and over again until she does.

Creative B.S. Was No More, Was No Less (Look Around, You’re Gonna Miss What You Found) (Rated T) [Alex x Luke, Flynn x Reggie] by @americanhoney913

Summary: Alex and Luke go undercover on a mission to a summer camp in order to find a talisman that could endanger the camp and all the kids. While there, they bond with the kids and make peace with the fact that they broke up.

While Alex and Luke are away, Flynn accidentally fucks with time.

bitch but like romantically (Rated T) [Flynn x Carrie] by @screamin-amuseum

Summary: or: flynn gets stuck in a time loop. {for troped jatp round 2}

down by the bay (Rated T) [Alex x Willie] by @sunsetcurbed

Summary: Over time, Camp Phantom has simply become known as a selective summer camp: one that took only the kids that Caleb saw promise in. And Caleb wasn’t exactly lying. He really did take only the ones he saw promise in, he simply looked for different traits than others might.

For example, say, hypothetically, a boy who could see the future. Or, hypothetically, a girl who could interact with ghosts. Or, hypothetically, a boy who could summon objects to him with a simple thought. Or, and this is completely hypothetical mind you, a boy who could manipulate time.

Those might be some traits that Caleb saw promise in. Just, like, as examples.

Time will tell (But only if you do it right) (Rated T) [Flynn x Carrie] by @malecacidd

Summary: Carrie had been acting a little off for a week or so, but Flynn was pretty much known for seeing something in nothing, and that was probably what they were doing then. If something was going on, Carrie would tell her eventually.

OR

Who knew all it took was a little bit of miscommunication to mess up time itself?

and so it begins (Rated T) [Bobby x Reggie] by @comeonpeters

Summary: It’s the first day of their second week at Camp Carolling (they’re spending an entire month, and they’re getting paid to be there!) when Reggie gets a little lost in the woods. During this misadventure into the woods, he finds an egg shaped rock, an inhabited cabin that may or may not be riddled with signs, and something that might be magic. He probably doesn’t get paid enough to discover magic.

or, when they were thirteen years old, four boys met at camp carolling and eventually became a band that almost became something legendary. now, all four boys are coming back as counselors, three boys in one band and one boy in his own solo act.

so begins the reunion, though it doesn’t go how any of them imagine.

Porcupine Day (Rated T) [Bobby x Ray x Rose] by @wr0temyway0ut

Summary: It’s been fifteen years since Trevor broke up with Ray and Rose and they’re… not fine, but managing. But when Trevor to adds insult to injury and buys the camp across the lake from the one they once owned together, the two camps become locked in a bitter rivalry. With neither side willing to set aside their pride and work out their issues, the universe decides to settle their fates itself.

Day After Day (After Day After Day) (Rated T) [Alex x Willie] by hufflebibin

Summary: When Alex met Willie just after their senior year of high school, they spent a wonderful three months dating before their relationship ended in a blaze of glory. Now, four years later, they meet again as counselors at a summer camp. The only problem? Alex keeps reliving their first day together. The day that Luke had declared “Prank Day.”

This is not how Alex pictured his summer going.

clocks move faster (it’s all we’re after) (Rated G) [Julie x Luke] by @willexxmercer

Summary: Julie likes it when her friends are happy, so when she realizes she’s stuck in a time loop, she uses her knowledge to make sure everything works out for everyone… except she conveniently forgets to factor herself (and Luke) into the mix.

Touch of Magic (Not Rated) [Alex x Luke] by @williexmercer

Summary: When everything stands in Luke and Alex’s way of getting to be with the people they love, they have to repeat the day over and over until they can get the happily ever after that they want.

the play’s the thing (that goes wrong) (Rated T) [Alex x Willie] by @madeline-kahn

Summary: Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day for Macbeth, but not so for Alex and the production of Hamlet that he is directing and starring in. And while he’s stuck repeating the day of the performance over and over, mishaps of all kinds befall the cast.

anything, anything (for another run with you) (Rated T) [Alex x Willie] by @aroacethetic-shitpost

Summary: the camp counselor/exes/prank war/time loop fic of your dreams (unless you read all of the other troped round 2 fics lmao)

there’s a glorious sunrise, dappled with the flickers of light (Rated T) [Julie x Luke] by @tonightthestarsalign

Summary: ex-best friends Luke and Julie, working as camp counselors at rivaling camps, find themselves stuck in a time loop

the daughter of apollo (Rated T) [Julie x Luke] by @the-most-beautiful-broom

Summary: the JATP x Camp Half Blood AU that nobody asked for

maybe the world isn’t ending (maybe it’s been postponed) (Rated G) [Julie x Luke] by @tmp-jatp

Summary: It’s the last day of camp and Julie has one more prank planned for Luke. He just doesn’t know what it is.

Here We Go Again (Rated T) [Julie x Luke] by @kybee1497

Summary: Julie blinked as she stared at the place Euterpe had disappeared. What did that even mean? What journey? Old places and lost faces? What was she talking about? But before she could dwell on the questions swirling around in her mind, the sky full of stars began to move, shifting in place and descending until they were all around her. Julie felt her feet leave the ground as she rose up and up. One star in particular was burning brighter than the others, growing bigger in front of her.

It grew and grew, until the light was blinding and Julie had to throw a hand up against the harsh light. She closed her eyes as the light surrounded her and then she was falling. Falling down, down, down.

————

ROUND 3: CANONVERSE FICS

The Tropes:

Secret Places

Neighbors

First Kiss

Time Jump

————

Just say you won’t let go (Rated G) [Julie/Luke] by @fanfics-she-wrote

Summary: Hey, Julie

You're the heart and soul 'round here, it's plain to see

in which Julie has a second chance with her boys, and then a third

we will fight to shine together (bright forever) (Rated G) [Bright Lighting Guy/Rob from the Orpheum] by @screamin-amuseum

Summary: the rob/bright lighting guy fic literally nobody asked for but i wrote anyways. enjoy gays, bring ur tissues

what happened when (Rated G) [Alex/Luke] by @janaikam

Summary: Before Julie and the Phantoms, before the guys became ghosts, before Sunset Curve – they were Luke and Alex. Not 5 feet apart cause they’re totally gay.

who cares if one more light goes out? (in a sky of a million stars) (Rated T) [Ray/Rose] by @tonightthestarsalign

Summary: The first and the last time Ray ever kissed Rose.

we can forget the world (just you and me) (Rated T) [Alex/Willie] by @sunsetcurbed

Summary: “This was the first place I ever came out to someone,” Alex says, spinning around and taking in the tree house.

together we can take on the world (Rated G) [Alex/Reggie] by @comeonpeters

Summary: Alex Mercer meets Reggie Peters on October 8, 1983, which means that two days have passed since Reggie’s sixth birthday, because Reggie is a Libra according to the magazines that his mom reads when she gets Reggie to paint her toenails. He’s also just moved to Los Angeles, California from his hometown of Gatlinburg, Tennessee, a small town in the mountains, and he’s told Alex Mercer about all of this in the three minutes that they’ve known each other, and he might be the loudest, most obnoxious boy that Alex has ever met, and he absolutely has to be Alex’s new best friend.

The Peters family moves in down the street from the Mercers in 1983, and so begins the rest of their lives.

Long Live (Can I start another life with you?) (Rated T) [Julie/Luke] by @smolfangirl

Summary: It’s all too much for one day: first a muffin, then more heartbeats. Julie just needs some time to think. If Luke runs after her to sit by her side so she doesn’t lose it, she won’t complain.

Except afterwards, he starts acting weird. Very weird. And months later, she’s tired of letting him keep his distance.

She can’t do this. Not right now. Not today.

She jumps back on her feet.

The excited grin falls from Luke’s face. She doesn’t try to catch it.

“I – I think this is too much. I need some time. Alone. Sorry.”

Then she runs. She runs past the calloused fingers reaching out to her. Past Reggie and the door, past carved pumpkins on porches and Cornelia Street.

She just runs.

Roses (Rated G) [Emily & Luke, Alex/Luke] by @americanhoney913

Summary: It becomes a sacred place she shares with her son. Mitch is usually off at work from dawn until six o’clock, but Emily’s working from home for now. She works as a florist’s shop right outside the neighborhood. So she brings home seeds and little flowers and other cuts from the store; she and Luke will spend hours out in the dirt, planting seeds and making mud pies and Luke will babble about whatever happened in daycare and make up stories about the different flowers.

Somewhere Only We Know (Rated T) [Nick/Carrie] by hufflebibin

Summary: A journey through Nick Danforth-Evan’s life as experienced in the safety of his backyard hide away.

The Itty Bitty Details (Rated T) [Alex/Willie] by @williexmercer & @futurearchaeologyprof

Summary: 5 times Willie knew Alex and one where Alex knew Willie

you’re the only one who makes me (my wildflower) (Rated T) [Bobby/Reggie] by @willexxmercer

Summary: The tree was Reggie’s safe space, and Bobby was his safe person. He could escape all his troubles there, except for one nagging thought - did he have feelings for his best friend?

Dying complicated things.

because i’ve known you so long, i know every cadence and what they mean (Rated G) [Alex & Julie, Julie/Luke] by @tmp-jatp

Summary: the Juke 5+1 fic from Alex’s POV.

Someday (I’ll See You Again) (Rated T) [Alex/Willie] by @kybee1497

Summary: They’re wrong. Alex, you are not a failure. You’re incredible. You’re smart. You’re funny, and the best friend I could ask for. You’re a wicked talented drummer and you have a beautiful voice. And more important than all of that, is that you’re you, Alex. And the you you are is wonderful, and lovable and perfect. If your parents can’t see that, that’s their own fault. But I swear, Alex. If you’re afraid of them, I need you to tell me. You have to be safe.” Willie’s voice had gone desperate by the end. Alex deserved to know how freaking amazing he was and the fact that his parents didn’t bother to tell him, and actively worked to tear him down instead, was infuriating.

But Willie also worried about him. He’d worried about Alex since the first time he heard Mr. Mercer shouting through the window, a worry that never really went away. Not with the way Alex automatically straightened up when his parents were mentioned, as if he could hear his dad lecturing him about appearances from miles away. Not with the way Alex looked when he was with them, perfectly pieced together and falling apart at the seams, eyes distant and shoulders tense. Willie was pretty sure he had worrying about Alex etched in his bones by this point.

The Energy Never Dies (Rated T) [Gen Fic] by @americanhoney913

Summary: Four moments across time in the loft of the Molina’s garage.

————

ROUND 4: FINAL!

Theme: Author’s Choice

Tropes:

Royalty AU

Soulmate AU

“Long Story Short…”

Author’s Choice

———

Look, Steal From the Rich. Do It. (Rated T) [Julie/Luke] by nik_knows_nothing

Summary: A Julie and the Phantoms Star Wars AU that kind of looks into the ramifications of soul marks in a turbulent society, but mostly just focuses on the gang infiltrating a fancy Core World party.

take my heart (and take my hand) (Rated T) [Alex/Willie] by @sunsetcurbed

Summary: The stranger smiles. “I’m Willie,” he greets.

“Alex,” Alex nods back.

“Sir,” Willie says pointedly, and smirks up at him as he bows exaggeratedly.

“The word sir is coming out of your mouth directed at me, but I don’t feel like you just addressed me as a sir at all. And please, call me Alex.”

“My apologies,” Willie hums, straightening back up. And then, pointedly, he lowers himself back into the same bow and makes deliberate eye contact with Alex. “Sir.”

Alex blinks. “You’re not going to call me Alex, are you?”

“Absolutely not, Sir.”

the princess and the lord (Rated T) [Julie/Luke] by @the-most-beautiful-broom

Summary: a JATP x Princess Diaries 2 AU

Diamond in the Rough (Rated G) [Julie/Luke] by @tmp-jatp

Summary: The JATP Aladdin AU

Okay, So You’re Interrupting the Political Guy Again, So Think About That (Rated T) [Julie/Luke] by nik_knows_nothing

Summary: Julie and the Phantoms meets The Goblin Emperor meets a soulmate AU meets the author’s stunning lack of what I assume is basic knowledge on how monarchies work.

i had the time of my life, fighting dragons with you (Rated T) [Julie/Luke] by @tonightthestarsalign

Summary: luke gets hired by some noble to bring back the princess that was kidnapped by a dragon

born to be yours (Rated G) [Alex/Willie] by @willexxmercer

Summary: “Hello. It feels strange, resorting to notes like this, but I couldn’t think of any other way. I know you’re here, somewhere. At the ball. I’ve tried to find you for the past few nights. My parents always told me never to believe in looped days and soulmates, but I think this just proves that they were wrong.

My name is Willie. I don’t know how to find you, but sometimes I feel like I’m drawn to you. Like I can just sense you nearby. I don’t know if you’ll find this, but if you do, I’ll try to wait for you on the balcony.

Until we meet.”

our best days are yet unknown (Rated T) [Alex/Reggie/Willie] by @aroacethetic-shitpost

Summary: When Prince Alexander of Sacuria meets his fiance, Prince William of Coterra, he’s astonished to discover that he recognizes his daemon. He recognizes it as one of the other shapes that his own daemon is able to take… as his soulmate. The only problem? Alex already has a soulmate: Reggie Peters, his childhood best friend. What should he do about finally meeting his second soulmate?

Panic and run away? Yeah, sure.

Little does he know he’s about to have a bigger problem than that…

————

Please take the time to read of all these incredible fics! Leave the authors some kudos/comments! They worked so hard this whole event. Thanks so much!

Just as a reminder, our non-anon collection is always open and we are always so excited to receive any submissions! The TROPED: JATP official collection has been CLOSED but if any of our prompts inspire you, please share your fics with us in our non-anon collection! Simple put ‘TROPED_Non_Anonymous’ where it asks for the collection name, and be sure to put what round you are writing for in your notes so we can be sure to tag it appropriately when we share! Also, just as a note, fics submitted to the non-anon collection do not have to follow the word limit and do not require the same strict adherence to the tropes, though we do ask that you comply with our other rules regarding no rape, incest, negativity, and things like that! Happy writing!

TROPED JATP AO3 Collection: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TROPED_JATP_1

TROPED Non-Anon AO3 Collection: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TROPED_Non_Anonymous

[lifeofkaze]

When Stars Ignite - Chapter 15

HPHM Rockstar AU

A/N: Katriona Cassopeia (in mention) belongs to the gorgeous @kc-and-oc, David Willows (in mention) belongs to the wonderful @that-scouse-wizard

General Warning: This whole fic has a general warning of being NSFW / 18+. We will give specific warnings for every chapter in itself, but several adult themes will be more or less present in every chapter, may it be explicitly or in mention. These include sexual topics, drug abuse, (ab)use of alcohol, smoking and a whole lot of cursing.

Specific Warning: language

~~~

Find the masterpost here, the previous chapter here and the next one here. The songs featured before every chapter can be found on this pretty badass playlist here.

~~~

This work is a collaboration with @the-al-chemist

Taglist: @slytherindisaster @carewyncromwell @night-rhea @thatravenpuffwitch

Mm, child, tired of the bullshit Go on, dust your shoulders off and keep it moving Yes, Lord, tryna get some new shit In there, swimwear, going-for-the-pool shit

~ Cold Years - Good As Hell ~

Lizzie frowned as she saw Murphy quickly turning his wheelchair around and getting ready to leave as she approached him and Orion. The blond sound technician nodded to her in passing and she could have sworn he winked at her as well.

She looked after him curiously as she sat down on the deckchair next to Orion, her towel loosely wrapped around her shoulders.

“What’s gotten into him?”

Orion smiled ominously. “Yearning for his one true love.”

“What, basketball?” Lizzie snorted. “Fucking fringe sports.”

Orion had to laugh at her words. “I was talking about Katriona.”

Lizzie shrugged. “Close enough.” She tilted her head to see what Orion had been writing down into his notebook. “How’s the song going?”

He spun the pencil between his fingers, the way Lizzie had shown him with a drumstick. “Slowly; I’ve been a little distracted by more inspirational sights.”

He briefly smiled at her before resting his chin on his arms with his eyes closed.

“Were you now,” Lizzie giggled. She moved a little closer to Orion, pulled her still dripping ponytail over her shoulder and wrung it out over his back. She laughed as he jumped at the cold water hitting his warm skin.

“What was that for?” he called out, playfully trying to shove her away. “You’re a mood of your own, do you know that?”

“As if you don’t love it.”

Orion only snorted and chose not to answer. Expecting another teasing remark from Lizzie, he was surprised when she remained silent. Looking up, Orion saw her attention had shifted from him to the other side of the pool. He followed her eyes to where Artemis was sitting alone on her deckchair, listening to music with her gigantic headphones on while scrolling through her phone.

“You’re still intent on making friends with her, aren’t you?” Orion said. It was more a statement than a question.

Lizzie hummed in response, her eyes not leaving Artemis. “I can’t believe she wants to be alone all of the time.”

“Have you considered that maybe she values her solitude more than she does company?” Orion contemplated softly. “Sometimes we keep from others because we want to protect sides of ourselves we don’t want anyone to see.”

“Like Merula does all the time?”

Orion nodded. “Yes, she and Artemis are more similar than both of them might think.”

“But Merula and I became friends eventually,” Lizzie said stubbornly. “The effort was on another level but we still did. I bet I could make Artemis like me; I don’t want her to be alone all the time. That’s the best part of touring isn’t it? Spending all this time with your friends.”

“It is for us, but not necessarily for her. You can’t force her, Liz; if she wants to remain alone, you’ll have to accept that. Why are you so intent on befriending her anyway,” he wanted to know, “is this about you or about her?”

“It’s not an ego thing, if that’s what you’re going for,” Lizzie answered a little more sharply than she had meant to. She could see that Orion was taken aback by her tone, so she softened her voice a little as she tried to explain.

“I don’t think she’s keeping to herself by choice,” she said. “She’s always on the sidelines, always watching what everyone else is doing. She only started talking to Charlie a few days ago, and God knows how he managed to do that. I don’t think that’s because she doesn’t like us, though. I think she just had really bad experiences in the past.”

“Artemis is not a scared cat. It shows your compassion that you want to include her so badly but just think about all the things you’ve tried already. You tried talking to her many different times, you wanted her to join us for lunch, asked her to go out for drinks after the shows; she declined every single one of your offers. If Artemis wants to tear down her walls, she will do so in her own time and at her own pace.”

Lizzie contemplated Orion’s words; without thinking about it, she placed her hand on the tattoo on Orion’s back. She had seen it up close so many times by now, but she never grew tired of how beautiful it looked. The water beads still glistening on his skin were looking like shiny pearls amongst the black lines.

She was broken out of her thoughts, when Orion moved away from her touch. “What’s wrong?”

He looked at her, one eyebrow raised. “You know I appreciate both the gesture of affection and the thrill of the risk, but I think you’re taking things a little too far.”

Lizzie only chuckled and tried to playfully poke him in the ribs, but Orion moved out of her reach again. A little irritated, she furrowed her brow. “Since when have you become so boring? You didn’t complain about the little extra attention when we had the photoshoot yesterday.”

“I know, but still, it was reckless of you,” Orion replied calmly. “People could start noticing.”

“But they didn’t.”

Orion sighed. “I’m not entirely sure about that.”

Lizzie’s shoulders tensed, all playfulness disappearing from her face. “What do you mean?”

“I think Skye might have seen something. I wasn’t sure because she didn’t say anything so I decided to wait and see. But in any case, it is unwise to draw attention like that.”

Lizzie raised her head, her eyes moving to where Skye was sitting with Erika and Andre. And sure enough, the blue haired bassist was in fact looking their way. Lizzie unconsciously moved a little away from Orion, but when hers and Skye’s eyes met, Skye’s look confirmed what the sinking feeling in Lizzie’s stomach had been telling her all along - she knew.

“That’s not good,” Lizzie whispered, more to herself than Orion.

“It is far from optimal indeed.”

And sure enough, Skye’s frown deepened as quickly as Lizzie’s panic was growing. She watched as her friend said something to Erika before getting out of her chair to come over to them.

Lizzie absolutely didn’t want to be confronted by Skye, and least of all in front of the others. Skye had never been a particularly subtle person; if Lizzie got into an argument with her here, she might as well shout everything from the rooftops.

Before Skye could make her way to them, Lizzie practically jumped out of her seat, trying to look as casual as possible while her heart was racing in her chest.

“Pity you don’t want to join the next round,” she proclaimed just loudly enough for Skye to hear it, “water polo is always more fun with more players.”

She set her eyes on Artemis, who was still sitting on the opposite side of the pool. “I’ll just go and ask Artemis instead.”

“How smooth,” she heard Orion mutter with a mocking tone, but didn’t care. She had wanted to speak to Artemis anyway and if she could bring the whole length of the pool between herself and Skye by doing so, all the better.

Lizzie set off to round the pool in the opposite direction to Skye; much to her relief, she noted that her friend had sat down onto her deckchair again, but she could feel her green eyes boring into her back.

Artemis was slumped deep into her chair when Lizzie approached her. She was slightly nodding her head to the inaudible beat coming from her headphones. The corners of Lizzie’s mouth twitched when she saw the stylised cat face engraved in silver on the speakers; she had the same limited edition.

Artemis was so concentrated on her phone that she didn’t even notice Lizzie’s presence. Lizzie wondered if that was intentional, but when Artemis jumped violently when Lizzie sat down next to her, she instantly felt sorry; she hadn’t wanted to scare her.

She countered Artemis’ hostile stare with an extra cheerful smile, partly because she wanted to start the conversation off right and partly to mask her own jumpy nerves.

“All alone today?”

Artemis sized her up for a moment. “Apparently.”

“Sorry about scaring you, I thought you’d seen me coming.”

The look in Artemis’ eyes grew hard. “I’m not scared.”

“I just thought…”

“I said, I’m not scared,” Artemis repeated stubbornly and Lizzie raised her hands in defence.

“Of course not, sorry.”

She waited for Artemis to show any sign of wanting to continue their conversation but received none, so she tried again. “Do you want to come over and sit with the rest of us? You don’t have to sit alone all of the time.”

Artemis’ eyes flickered to where Everett was basking in the sun. “I don’t think so.”

Lizzie was looking in the same direction. “Whistling after you earlier was shit, sorry about that. Ev takes a lot of getting used to, but he doesn’t really mean it that way.”

Now Artemis’ hazel eyes found hers and Lizzie could see a trace of anger flashing in them. “I think he very much meant it that way.”

Lizzie sighed; actually, Artemis was right but that wasn’t something she could downright tell her and still hope to get her to come. “He can be such an idiot, I know. Just forget about him.”

Artemis indicated her headphones. “That was the plan.”

The faint sound of a guitar was reaching Lizzie’s ears from the music that was still playing, and the voice of the singer was sounding familiar. “What are you listening to?”

Artemis watched her critically, probably contemplating just putting her headphones back on, and be done with it. “Some cover songs from a singer from Liverpool. He’s called David Willows. Have you heard of him?”

Lizzie had to laugh. “You could say I’ve met him once or twice back in the days.”

She immediately regretted laughing when Artemis’ eyes narrowed; she had probably given the impression that she was making fun of her.

It was apparent that the unapproachable pyro tech had no intention of continuing their conversation; she was repeatedly glancing at her phone and her whole body language had turned dismissive. Under usual circumstances Lizzie would have given up at this point but she didn’t want to give Skye another opportunity to talk to her.

“What I actually wanted to ask,” she tried for the third time, “Charlie and I want to play another round of water polo. Want to join?”

The look in Artemis’ eyes turned contemptuous. “And climb onto some random guys naked back to make a mickey out of myself?” She demonstratively dropped her eyes to her phone. “No thanks, I’m good.”

Lizzie had to stifle a sigh at her stubbornness. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“I said no,” Artemis replied, a lot more sharply than before.

Lizzie felt a flare of temper. “It’s just water polo, why are you making such a fuss about it?”

Artemis' face darkened considerably and Lizzie feared she might have overstepped her mark. But before Artemis could say something, her eyes shifted from Lizzie to something in her back, only moments before Lizzie felt Charlie’s hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

“There you are, little rockstar. Have you persuaded Artemis to join?”

His tone was easy but the look in his eyes wasn’t lost on Lizzie; he wasn’t happy at all she had disregarded his wish to leave Artemis alone.

“I’m afraid not.” Her tone was brusque; she was pissed with Charlie for stepping in.

Charlie’s mouth twisted into a grin. “Hate to say it, but I told you so.”

His attention turned to Artemis, who was just as unhappy with her company than the rest of them. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

Artemis sighed deeply. “If you have to.”

She put her phone down and got up and Charlie immediately walked her away from Lizzie. Lizzie’s face darkened and she fought the urge to cross her arms in front of her chest. She was not impressed Charlie had interfered; he was starting to grow overly protective of Artemis, even though she didn’t seem to be the kind of person to need anybody’s protection but her own.

Her thoughts were instantly forgotten, when she suddenly heard Skye’s voice in her back.

“Jameson, you and I, we need to talk.”

Lizzie grimaced before turning around. Skye had her arms crossed and was staring at her accusingly.

“What’s on your mind?” Lizzie sighed.

“You know damn well what’s on my mind,” Skye hissed. “There’s something you need to tell me, right fucking now.”

Lizzie averted her eyes. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You know damn well what I mean,” Skye snorted. “What in the actual fuck is going on with you and Orion? Don’t try to pull the old innocent-trick on me, we’ve lived together and I know you’re as innocent as Merula next to an empty box of cigarettes.”

Her eyes narrowed when Lizzie didn’t answer. “I saw what you did yesterday at the photoshoot and I saw you earlier next to him as well. You’re not even as handsy when it comes to Charlie and a lot of things make a lot more sense to me now. So, gonna ask you again and you better not lie to me; what’s the deal?”

Lizzie muttered something under her breath, making Skye frown. “What’s that?”

Knowing she would have to tell her friend if she liked it or not, Lizzie sighed. “We may potentially have a little thing going on, if you want to call it that,” she said, not meeting Skye’s eyes.

Just as she had feared, Skye’s voice immediately rose in volume. “Are you out of your bloody mind?”

“Keep your voice down,” Lizzie said angrily, “there’s no need to shout.”

Ignoring her words, Skye continued, albeit with a lower voice. “You know the rules! It’s a clear hands off the other band members. What if dad finds out you guys are dating?”

“He won’t find out if you just shut up about it and keep your nose out of things that aren’t your business,” Lizzie responded sharply. “And for the record, we’re not dating. It’s just some fun, nothing of it.”

Skye pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers, clearly exasperated at her friends’ antics. “Can’t believe it, I always thought you were the smart one out of the two of us. How long have you been at it?”

Lizzie fidgeted uncomfortably. “A few months? Maybe?” She faltered under Skye’s withering stare. “Since last August.”

Skye looked at her incredulously. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she groaned. “You’re not saying you’ve been shagging our guitarist longer than my longest relationship lasted and never even thought to tell me? Your best friend?”

“At least I’ll have to tell no one else if you don’t stop shouting,” Lizzie replied wryly. “And sorry to say that but your average relationship duration is not a very high benchmark to reach.”

Despite herself, Skye had to suppress a grin. “Fair game.” The smile faded as quickly as it had come when she continued. “Seriously though, are you sure about what you’re doing? It’s a damn right dangerous game you’re playing at, is all I’m saying. What if something goes wrong?”

They both glanced over to where Orion was now again working on whatever song was floating around in his head. Much to their surprise, Artemis was sitting next to him. When she saw them looking, they quickly turned their heads again.

“Nothing will go wrong,” Lizzie insisted, “if anyone should know shagging a colleague can work just fine, it’s you.”

If Lizzie hadn’t known her so well, she might have missed the slight flush creeping onto Skye’s face. “No idea what you’re on about.”

Lizzie made a dismissive sound. “Oh please. Don’t act as if not the whole fucking crew knows about you and Erika.”

Skye raised her chin defiantly. “Okay fine, maybe being friends with benefits can work, but this is different. She’s part of the crew, Orion’s an actual member of the band, and a damn important one at that. If you guys screw things up, we’re all royally fucked.”

“Stop worrying, everything will be alright. Orion and I are completely on the same page with this.”

Lizzie hesitated for a moment. “You’ll keep this to yourself, right? You won’t tell your dad about this?”

Skye looked at her as if she had gone mad for good. “Do you think I’m bonkers? Dad doesn’t need to know everything. Way too involved in our stuff as it is, if you ask me. But you got to promise me one thing.”

Relieved the immediate catastrophe had been averted, Lizzie nodded. “What?”

“Don’t put me into a position where I need to lie to my dad, alright?” There was nothing of the ever present sparkle in Skye’s eyes; she was dead serious about this. “Don’t get too involved with him. This is about family.”

[rushingheadlong]

Dear Friend, We’ll Carry On - A Brian/trans-m!Reader fic

Summary: You’ve known Brian since the early days of Queen, but when he comes to New Haven on his solo tour you haven’t seen him in years. You’re both different people now but, as the saying goes, the more things change the more they stay the same...

Wordcount: ~9.5k

Tags/Warnings: Trans-m!Reader/Brian, some light angst and H/C, eventual smut (fingering & oral, Reader receiving, and some light cumplay)

Notes: This is, I think, officially the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written. I know I say that a lot but the entire fic takes place around Brian’s October 1993 New Haven concert (the one with the Yale tank top) so that should really tell you everything you need to know. I might write a follow-up fic, or just a shorter epilogue as well - but we’ll see if I ever actually get around to that.

The only other thing I’ll note is that is the Reader is American, so American terms have been used over British ones (i.e. “pants” instead of “trousers”) and this is cross-posted to AO3 here.

It’s only been a few years since you last saw Brian, but when he first walks into the diner you almost don’t recognize him. If it wasn’t for that same wild halo of curls around his head you’d think you were looking at a stranger, because there’s a tightness in his shoulders and a stiffness in his frame that you’ve never seen before.

Even the other patrons around you seem uncertain of him, casting double-takes in his direction as if they aren’t really sure if they recognize him or not. There was a time when Queen couldn’t step foot in America without being mobbed, but too much has changed in a decade and now Brian looks more like a lost child than a world-famous rockstar.

You wave to catch his attention and Brian spots you immediately. He smiles, bright and wide and so familiar that it makes your chest ache, and he finally looks almost like himself again.

He quickly crosses the small room and you stand up to greet him. Brian pulls you into a tight hug and this is achingly familiar too, the way your shorter frame fits against his, the gentle nuzzle against the top of your head as Brian curls around you, the soft sigh as Brian relaxes into the embrace and some of the tightness starts to bleed out of his body.

“I’ve missed you,” Brian says when he finally pulls away and the two of you take your seats at the table. “You look…” His voice trails off for a moment and you brace yourself for the word that you know is coming next: Different. It’s what everyone says these days, after all, not that you can blame them. Five years on testosterone and nearly eleven months since your surgery have radically changed your appearance - and you haven’t seen Brian in person since your transition started, having been out-of-town when he last performed in New Haven back in March.

But Brian smiles and the word he goes with, to your surprise, is simply, “Good. You look really good, Y/N.”

“Thanks,” you say, with a smile of your own. “And you look…”

Sad.

There’s still grief in the depths of Brian’s eyes, a slightly haunted look that wasn’t there before Freddie’s death and the end of Queen tore his world apart. He’s allowed his grief, of course he is, but it still tears at your heart to see Brian’s kind face marred with anguish, no matter how much he tries to hide it.

You know better than to tell him any of that, though, no matter how true it may be, so you find yourself settling for a different adjective as well. “Tired. Tour getting to you, is it?”

Brian laughs, the smallest huff of amusement and admits, “It’s been rough at times, yeah. Been too long since I’ve done this, and it’s different from what it was with- with Queen.”

He busies himself with the menu for a moment, and you graciously don’t comment on the slight stumble at the mention of the band that was his entire world for two decades. “Anyway, it’s been good though,” Brian finally says. “Nice to be playing again, and the new group is great.”

“I’m sorry I missed your show the last time you were in Connecticut,” you tell him.

“Nah, don’t be. We were only a support act then, you’re getting the full performance tonight,” Brian says. A small, uncertain look crosses his face and he asks, “You are coming tonight, aren’t you?”

“Bought my ticket the moment they went on sale,” you assure him, and Brian smiles in relief.

Your conversation is briefly interrupted by the arrival of your waitress, and once when she leaves with your orders Brian says, “I have a backstage pass for you, if you want it. You can hang out before the show, watch from out front, and security will let you backstage again before the encore so you don’t have to deal with trying to leave with the crowd when it’s all over.”

“Really? That would be great!” It would certainly give you more time to spend with Brian, though you know from the many Queen concerts where you were able to get backstage that it’s likely to be in somewhat of a state of pandemonium leading up to the start of the show. “Hey, is there anyone in your road crew that I might remember?”

You know not to tack on from the Queen days, though it’s obvious that’s what you mean. Another sad look crosses Brian’s face and you know you’ve still made a mistake, even before Brian says, “Ah, not really, no. Jobby left, so my guitar tech is new, and Ratty and Crystal obviously aren’t around… Oh, Spike’s touring with me, though!” You give him a blank, apologetic look and he sighs and adds, hopeful, “Keyboard player? He played with Queen back in the 80s too…”

“You had someone different on the Hot Space tour, I think,” you tell Brian.

“God, has it really been that long since we played the US?” Brian shakes his head. “Seems crazy, doesn’t it? How quickly a decade passes…”

“And how much changes in that time,” you say without thinking. Another pained look crosses Brian’s face and you quickly try to steer the conversation towards less depressing territory. “I mean, I’m surprised you recognized me at all today!” you say with a small laugh.

“Well, of course I recognized you! Why wouldn’t I?” Brian asks, just as your waitress returns with your drinks.

You wait until she stops fussing over Brian and leaves again before saying, “I don’t know, Bri, why would you recognize me? I look pretty different than I did before…”

“Oh, yeah,” Brian says. “That.”

You didn’t really want to bring the topic up but Brian’s response, no matter how casual, is exactly why you knew you had to. You met Brian when you were still going by your dead name, before you had even comes to terms with your gender and back when you two were still hooking up every time Queen came to the US. He was one of the first people you came out to, because you saw him so rarely that if he reacted poorly it’s not like it would have impacted your normal daily life.

Brian didn’t react poorly though. No one in Queen did, and if any of the roadies had a different opinion you at least never had to hear it. Brian easily adjusted to calling you “Y/N” and “he” during your increasingly infrequent meetings in the 80s, those rare weekends when you could afford to fly to LA or he had the time to meet you somewhere on the East Coast, but this is still the first time that he’s seeing you since your transition - the first time he’s had to see you present fully as a man, without binders and baggy clothes and uncomfortably short hair to hide behind.

And you know all too well how much of a difference that can make, to some people.

But not, apparently, to Brian. He smiles and offers you a small shrug and just says, “You’re still Y/N - I mean, yeah, you look different but… Well, like I said before, you look good. You look more like yourself, if that makes any sense at all. Like you’re just a better version of who you always were.” He shakes his head and adds, “Sorry, that probably sounds ridiculous…”

“It really doesn’t,” you tell him. “That’s exactly how it feels to me.” Your whole chest feels warm with affection, and even though you’re reassuring him in the moment you feel incredibly comforted by his easy acceptance and understanding of a topic that not very many others in your life have embraced.

Brian’s smile brightens a little, and your stomach swoops at the sight. You’ve never been in love with Brian, not romantically anyway, but sometimes you still find yourself getting overwhelmed with how much you love having him in your life - as a friend and, in the past, as an occasional bed partner.

Only it seems like today your libido missed the message that the two of you aren’t hooking up anymore. You thought you had gotten past the initial spike to your sex drive that happened when you first started T, but looking at Brian now - with his wide smile and the crinkles at the corners of his eyes and his shirt half unbuttoned to expose most of his chest - makes you almost squirm with how badly you want him again.

It doesn’t help that Brian once admitted to you, years ago when you were both far too drunk for your own good, that the occasional man does catch (and hold) his interest. It doesn’t help that you know Brian was always enthusiastic about hooking up with you, at least when you used to do that before you came out and started transitioning. And it doesn’t help that, when you look across the table at him, his earlier sadness has been replaced with a familiar glint in his eye that makes you wonder if his repeated “You look good” comments might hold a little more meaning than you originally thought.

You want to test the waters, see if Brian is thinking of your previous hook-ups like you now are… and you almost do, before you remember what it could cost Brian to be seen flirting with another man in public. Even the hug he had given you in greeting was risky, nevermind that that’s how he’s always greeted you before you transitioned. So you settle instead for only asking, “How long are you in town?”

Brian grimaces. “We got in late yesterday, and we’re only here for one more night. We’re driving over to Providence in the morning for tomorrow’s show, then there’s a day off so we can head out to Chicago. And then…” He thinks about it for a moment, before laughing and shaking his head. “For the life of me, I can’t remember where we go from there. But we only have seven or eight more shows in the States, and then we have some time off before we go to Japan at the beginning of November.”

At one point, you would have followed him around to all those stops on the tour - or at least spent a week or two in Queen’s bus, curled up by Brian’s side during the day and spending your evenings watching their shows from wherever you could find a spot, before eventually catching a flight home from some random city halfway across the country.

But those days are long behind you now.

“Well, you should come back to Connecticut during that break and visit me some more,” you say, and you can’t help the slight teasing note that creeps into your voice.

What you’re not expecting, though, is for Brian to give you a knowing smirk and say, “Maybe I’ll do just that.”

Your mouth drops open in a small “o” of surprise, but before you can respond your waitress comes over with your food - and when she leaves Brian launches into a story from one of his shows earlier in the year, and you let the moment pass.

No matter how much time accidentally passes between your meetings, it’s always easy to fall back into conversation with Brian. His story reminds you of a different rock show you had been to a year ago, and then Brian tells you about some festival he found himself at, which happens to be in the same area where you’re planning an upcoming vacation, and the resulting travel talk branches out into any topic imaginable, until Brian catches a glimpse at the time and swears under his breath.

“Shit, I’m needed over at the theatre.” He stands up and starts to pull out his wallet, but you stop him.

“No, Bri, I’ve got this,” you say, throwing enough bills down onto the table to cover the check (and a large enough tip to make up for how long the two lingered around just chatting). “Any time in particular I should plan on getting to the theatre myself?”

“You can head over with me now, if you want,” Brian says as he leads the way out of the diner, holding the door open for you behind him.

“Nah, I need to change into something more fitting for a rock concert,” you say, gesturing to your suitable - but certainly plain - outfit.

“You look-”

“Brian May, if you tell me that I look good again I’ll kick you!” you interrupt with a laugh. “No, give me a chance to pretty myself up for you and then I’ll head over.”

It doesn’t quite register that the “for you” slipped out until you see a look of surprise cross Brian’s face, a look that settles into something a little more amused as he smirks and says, “Well, I’ll definitely be looking forward to seeing you soon, then.”

He pulls you into another quick hug and your face is hot with embarrassment, and you can feel yourself get redder when Brian murmurs in your ear, “Don’t take too long now, Y/N.”

You know he’s teasing but there’s a note of arousal in his voice as well, and you feel your dick start to stir with interest even through your lingering embarrassment. “I’ll get changed and hurry right over,” you promise in a low voice, and you can’t help but feel smug when you see Brian’s eyes darken in hunger.

You don’t live in New Haven proper and today even the quick drive back to your apartment feels like it takes too long, when all you want to do is still be with Brian… but you’re hoping, if you play your cards right, that you’ll be spending a lot more time with Brian tonight than you had ever originally planned.

Picking out clothes feels less like a daily battle than it ever did before you started transitioning but you still take some time to consider what to wear over to the theatre, finally settling on skinny jeans and a Yale shirt. You’re considerably older than most of the university’s students but you’re still cursed with a babyface that T hasn’t aged quite enough yet, and you figure that faking some school pride can’t hurt when you’re going to be mere blocks away from the university itself.

You grab a pair of rolled-up socks and hesitate for a moment before discarding them, and tying a flannel shirt around your waist to hide the lack of bulge in your pants. An old leather jacket and a few swipes of eyeliner finish off the look, and even if you hadn’t already been flirting with Brian you’re pretty sure you’d win an invite back to his hotel room now anyway.

You take the bus back over to New Haven, rather than worrying about finding parking near the venue, and although security gives you an uncomfortable once-over as you show him your badge it isn’t long before you’re inside the theatre and looking for Brian once more.

Soundcheck is just wrapping up and you let the sound of Brian’s voice lead you towards the stage. He’s engrossed in his work and you watch him from the wings as he talks about some technical detail with one of the roadies. He seems relaxed enough, at a quick glance, but you can see his fingers tapping anxiously against the front of the Red Special and tension starting to gather in his shoulders again.

It’s a far cry from how he was before the Queen shows of old. Back then, even if he was a bit on edge or the band had fought during soundcheck, Brian retained a certain amount of confident ease - something which is noticeably absent in his demeanor now. You wonder if it’s due to the lack of Queen and the stability that Brian had based his routines around, or if it’s because of the added pressure of his role in this new band… though, truthfully, it’s probably a little bit of both.

You wonder if you still have a right to meddle, if you can ask Brian how he’s really doing and still expect an honest answer from him after all these years. Then Brian spots you out of the corner of his eye and his face lights up with happiness again and the tension starts to bleed out of his frame, and you decide to let sleeping dogs lie - at least for now anyway, because you have more important (or at least more fun) things to focus on.

Because Brian isn’t nearly as subtle as he thinks he is as he gives you a lingering once-over, before he passes over his Old Lady to a tech that you don’t recognize and crosses the stage to pull you into a hug. This one isn’t as intimate as the one at the diner, more of a quick one-armed embrace that he might give to any of his male friends, but he still whispers in your ear, “You look good, Y/N.”

You pull back, gearing up to poke fun at Brian for saying that yet again, only to see the smile pulling at the corner of his mouth and the glint in his eyes that tells you that he’s teasing you. That doesn’t stop you from huffing a little and saying, “Excuse you, I think I look damn good in fact.”

Brian laughs, the sound catching the attention of the rest of his bandmates. If he notices, though, that doesn’t stop him from murmuring a quiet, “You do look damn good. Gonna make it hard for me to get through the show, knowing that you’re-”

“Hey, Brian!” the other guitarist calls out. “The pizza for the crew just got here, we good on the soundcheck?”

“Yeah sorry, we’re all set!” Brian yells back. He shakes his head and says to you, “Sorry about that.”

You shrugs. “Not the first time your work has ruined the moment.” It used to be Roger banging on the dressing room door while the two of you were in the middle of things, but you’re still used to the interruptions.

“Well, we’re not likely to get many moments in private until after the show,” Brian says, his voice pitched low so no one can overhear the two of you.

“I was thinking that we’re getting a bit too old to disappear into a supply closet together,” you joke, though you keep your voice low as well.

Brian snorts. “Yeah, I don’t need Spike or Jamie finding me in flagrante when there’s a perfectly good hotel bed waiting for us at the end of this.” He hesitates for a moment, biting his bottom lip, and finally asks, “That is where all this flirting is heading, isn’t it?”

“That’s what I was hoping.” You grin wickedly at Brian and add, “I didn’t dress up nice just for the hell of it, you know.”

“Good to know,” Brian says, with a wide grin. “C’mon, I wanna introduce you to the band.”

Brian does have a full, proper band touring with him. Jamie is the guitarist who had interrupted Brian greeting you, Neil is the bass player, and Spike is the keyboard player that Brian had mentioned during your lunch earlier. The backing vocalists are Catherine and Shelley, and the last you’re introduced to is Cozy, the drummer. You don’t recognize him at all but clearly Brian is expecting you to, judging by his slightly exasperated sigh when you don’t react to his name.

“Oh, leave it be, Brian. Not like my pride’s hurt at all,” Cozy says before Brian can gear up for his explanation. “I’m just glad to finally be meeting Y/N.”

“Finally?” you echo, giving Brian a sideways glance.

“I may have mentioned you once or twice…”

“Or three or four or forty times,” Spike says dryly.

“You can’t count times I’ve mentioned him in passing over the last decade!” Brian tries to defend himself.

“Decade? Try the last day,” Jamie says as he too joins in the conversation. “If the drive down here yesterday had been any longer we were going to draw straws to see which one of us was going to knock you out just to get some peace and quiet!"

“I was not that bad!” Brian protests but he’s laughing, and so is everyone else, and it’s not quite Queen but you can see the niche that Brian has carved out with this new group of people and it makes you smile to listen to the friendly ribbing and jokes.

“We tried to get him to call you when we stopped so maybe he’d shut up for a bit, but he refused,” Cozy says to you.

You were at work yesterday so Brian wouldn’t have been able to reach you anyway but instead of pointing that out you join in with the teasing yourself. “Well I wish you had, so I could’ve pointed you in the direction of the right pizza to order…”

Brian groans at the familiar argument and says, “You complain about this every time I come to New Haven!”

“Well, start ordering from Frank Pepe’s instead of Sally’s and we wouldn’t have to keep having this conversation!” you tell him.

“I didn’t know pizza was that big of a deal in Connecticut,” Neil says with a laugh.

“It’s not, not unless you’re a New Haven local,” Brian says, with the tone of someone who has been forced to listen to this lecture more times than he cares to remember.

“Are you a local then, Y/N?” Shelley asks. “Or did you come down to meet up with Brian?”

“Nah, I’m a local - well, local enough, I live over in West Haven.” You pluck at your shirt and add, “Didn’t go to Yale, but I’ll pretend to support the university while I’m practically on their campus.”

“I think that’s Brian’s plan for tonight too,” Jamie says, giving Brian a friendly nudge with his elbow as he passes him. “First thing he did when we got in yesterday was have someone run out to get him an appropriately local tank top for the encore.”

“A tank top?” You can’t help but laugh. “In all the years I’ve known Brian I have never known him to wear a tank top! I’ll believe that when I see it!”

You keep chatting with the band for a little while longer but eventually everyone splits up to double-check their instruments, get changed, and take care of the thousand little things that always seem to get left for the last minute.

“You should probably head out front,” Brian tells you eventually. He still needs to get changed into his own stage outfit, even though you’ve been listening to the audience trickle in for the last ten minutes.

“Yeah, probably,” you agree. You want to lean up and kiss him but even here, in the doorway to the dressing room, you know better than to risk it. Some of Brian’s bandmates seem to have an inkling of what’s really going on, but the last thing you need is for anyone else to see the two of you like that. “I’ll catch you later then?”

“I’ve already told security to let you backstage before the encore,” Brian says. He looks like he wants to kiss you too, but he settles for giving you a bright smile and another quick hug. “I’ll see you soon enough.”

“I’ll be seeing you soon enough at least,” you joke and you let the echo of Brian’s laugh follow you out.

You hadn’t bought a floor ticket originally, but security finds you a spot by the stage where it’ll be easy for you to duck out again later. A few people near you give you curious looks, but luckily none of the double-takes that you’ve come to dread, and no one asks you about the backstage pass still hanging around your neck as the theatre fills up around you.

When the lights finally dim the audience roars and cheers, almost enough to drown out the opening bars of what you can barely make out as The Dark - before the lights slowly come on and Brian is standing center-stage, singing the title track from his debut solo album.

Brian’s voice is amazing. You’ve always known that, even if Brian has never really considered himself to be much of a singer, but you’re spellbound at his performance - the way he balances the guitar with the vocals, the gorgeous harmony of a full band supporting him, his backing vocalists providing a depth that takes you by surprise. It’s not Queen, none of it is, but it’s good, and Brian owns the stage like he was born to do this.

You’re so taken by Brian’s performance that it’s not until Brian sheds the long coat that he initially wore out on stage that you take in the outfit he’s wearing: A loose white shirt with an ornate vest, paired with a pair of tight pants that you think have buttons sewn all over them… until Brian wanders closer to where you’re standing and you realize that they’re actually grommets. You can’t tell if there’s a lining to them or not, but the possibility that that’s Brian’s bare skin peeking through the tiny holes makes your mouth go dry with want.

Brian’s solo material is as excellent as it sounded on the album. You never doubted that it would be, not for a second, but you’re taken a bit by surprise by how well the Queen songs work in the setlist as well. It’s not Freddie singing, or Roger on the drums, or John on bass… but with Brian still on guitar, and Spike clearly knowing his way around the keyboard parts, it all works. The crowd cheers as loud for Tie Your Mother Down as they do for Love Token, and your heart swells with pride for everything Brian has achieved with this album and this tour.

And then Brian grabs an acoustic, and sits down on a stool by himself towards the front of the stage, and you know what is coming even before Brian asks the audience if they’re ready to sing.

“There's a special reason for this song. I didn't write this song, so by right I don't have- I don't have much of a right to be singing it,” Brian says. “But I'm going to do it anyway, because this is in memory of just about the best singer the world has ever seen.”

Everyone around you is cheering but you think you’re going to cry. You want to jump onstage, pull Brian out from under the bright lights and somewhere quiet and private, where you can wrap yourself around him and reassure him that Freddie wouldn’t care that Brian was singing his song at all. You want to take Brian and steal him away from the world, from everyone who still demands Queen from him and everyone who won’t let him grieve in peace.

You want to find somewhere that the two of you can hide away together, until you never have to see this sort of open anguish on Brian’s face again.

The song is as gorgeous as it ever was when Freddie sang it, and the concert continues from there with Brian giving no indication that he had bared his heart and left it bleeding on the stage while the audience sang and cheered him on.

Brian loses the vest eventually, and you’re close enough to the stage that you can see the sweat starting to bead along Brian’s temple and the column of his throat. It’s a strange sort of whiplash, going from the emotional devastation of Love of My Life to feeling like you’re going to die if you don’t get your hands on Brian this very second. He’s always looked damn fine while playing the guitar, but seeing him fully in control of the stage and belting his heart out on every song - when he remembers to get back to his mic in time - is driving you crazy with want.

We Will Rock You doesn’t dovetail into We Are the Champions, like you were half-expecting it to, but even after the band leaves the stage you’re left stunned and entirely captivated by their performance.

“Hey!” A security guard taps you on the shoulder. “You’re the one who’s supposed to head backstage again, yeah?”

You nod. You had almost forgotten about that, and you follow the guard through the crowd to the backstage door, which he opens and motions for you to go through. You walk back, finding yourself in the wings near the stage where the band is quickly toweling off and grabbing a drink before heading back out for the encore.

Brian is quickly shucking off his sweat-drenched shirt and pulling on the tank top that had been mentioned earlier. It’s a simple white with YALE printed across the chest and it hangs loose on Brian’s slim frame, leaving his arms and a good portion of the sides of his torso exposed to the world. You’ve seen Brian naked before but somehow this feels more sinful, and you can feel your dick start to twitch and and your core throb with interest, especially when you realize that Brian is still wearing the same pants as before.

“Please tell me there’s a lining in those,” you say in a slightly strangled voice, motioning towards Brian’s legs and the grommet holes that have been teasing you all evening.

Brian wipes his face with a towel, and only gives you a wicked smirk and a knowing wink in response. “Catch you after the show,” he says, as he’s handed a guitar - an acoustic, you notice belatedly, not his Red Special - and he walks back onstage with the rest of the band.

You’re still distracted by the sight of Brian in an honest-to-god tank top, his sinewy arms on full display, that you almost miss Brian saying, “You might think this is a sad song, but it ain’t.”

And for the second time that evening you find yourself caught off-guard by the genuine, heart-wrenching emotion in Brian’s singing - but the pain that was there during Love Of My Life is now nowhere to be seen. Maybe it’s because you can’t see Brian’s face, or maybe it’s just the warning he gave at the beginning of the song to let everyone know that it wasn’t supposed to be sad… but for the first time, you think you’re beginning to understand how Brian is starting to move on. You think you can see the ways in which sharing his grief with the world like this is healing for him, in a way that you never would have expected.

It still hurts to hear Brian sing, “I don’t believe in being Queen anymore - I just believe in me. Just you guys and me.” But it’s a hurt that’s tempered by the memory of Brian laughing with his new bandmates backstage, the genuine happiness you’ve seen on his face despite the moments of grief that still come through, and you know that even if Brian might not be entirely okay… at least he’s getting there.

And then the song ends and Brian launches into the familiar opening riff of Hammer to Fall, and you let yourself get swept away by the energy and the music.

Your heart races at the sight of Brian rocking out to the heavy Queen tune, your arousal simmering again with every flash of the stage lights that catch on those grommets or cast dark shadows along the lines of the wiry muscles in Brian’s arms. There’s a strangeness to it still, a part of you that’s still a little turned around from the sudden change in mood in the theatre, but that part quickly fades when Brian glances your way and gives you a wink, before sidling up to Jamie to keep rocking out on the guitar part.

You bite your lip to stifle a groan and wonder if Brian is dragging this song out for longer than normal just to torment you. It’s just not fair, none of it is - not the tank top and grommets leaving Brian lewdly on display, not the hot stage lights making sweat bead along his brow, not his quick fingers flying over the strings of his guitar as the song finally, fucking finally, comes to an end and the band takes their bows one last time.

“Did you enjoy the show?” Brian asks you as he hands off his guitar. The question is innocent enough but the look in his eyes is anything but, and for a moment you feel an irrational burst of hatred that this isn’t a Queen show and you no longer present as female because all you want to do is push Brian against the closest wall and kiss him breathless.

Instead you grit your teeth and say, “Loved it, it was great... Please tell me you don’t have to stick around for long.”

Brian throws his head back and laughs, and you have to stamp down the urge to bite at the column of this throat. “Nah, no interviews or meet-and-greet’s tonight. Just have to get changed and-”

“Don’t change,” you interrupt.

“Oh?” Brian raises an eyebrow and smirks at you. You huff at him, hating that you can’t tell him exactly what he’s doing to you in that outfit, and you’re about two seconds from deciding that you don’t care who sees or overhears you when Brian says, “Alright. Let me just grab my wallet and we’ll head out.”

It doesn’t end up being quite that easy. Brian still has to check in with a few people about the travel plans for tomorrow, and it takes some time for the crowds to disperse and a car to arrive to take you two back to the hotel. But luckily the rest of the band just waves Brian off, some with knowing smiles, and none of them hop in the car with you or ask Brian to stick around backstage for any longer than he already has.

It’s torture having to keep your hands to yourself, and after a few minutes you decide, screw it, it’s dark enough that the driver won’t be able to see anything - so you reach out and trace around one of the grommet holes, dipping your finger in to tease at the delicate skin of Brian’s thigh. “These are more than a little indecent, you know,” you murmur in a low undertone as your hand creeps further up Brian’s leg.

Brian catches your hand and laces his fingers with yours, which is fair because you can hide your arousal when you get to the hotel far easier than Brian can. “Indecent is going a bit far, I think,” Brian counters.

“Mm, well, they’re giving me indecent thoughts, at least…”

“Care to share some of them?” Brian asks, and even though the question is quiet you can hear the heat behind the words.

You shrug and glance at the driver, who - if he can hear your conversation - at least doesn’t give any sign of it. “Been wondering if I could get some laces between those grommets, tie you up in a pretty little package…”

Brian inhales sharply and you smile, all teeth and wicked intentions, as he shifts next to you and says, “Didn’t think you liked being the one doing the tying. You always used to want to be the one getting tied up.”

“Oh, I still do. But I can’t help it if those pants start giving me ideas…” you say, and Brian’s quiet groan of frustration feels like music to your ears.

You’re grateful that Brian is already checked in so you don’t have to stop by the front desk, but you still struggle to keep your hands to yourself as Brian leads the way up to his room and unlocks the door. Once you’re inside, though, both of you are on each other in an instant as Brian crowds you against the wall and you finally, finally get to kiss him.

It’s just as perfect as you remember. Brian’s lips are soft but he kisses you with the same passion that you remember from years ago, fierce and demanding and just the right side of rough. He nips at your bottom lip, a move that’s always gotten your blood racing, and when you groan he slips his tongue into your mouth to plunder every inch of you.

You’re so much shorter than Brian and you know that it has to be uncomfortable for him to lean down so far to kiss you, so when you finally pull back to catch your breath you loop your fingers through the grommets on his pants and start tugging him towards the bed.

“Oh, I definitely love these pants,” you tell him, and Brian just laughs and tries to kiss you again. You push him down so he’s sitting on the edge of the bed and that puts you at a much more equal height, making it easy for you to tangle one hand in his curls and slide the other along the bare skin of his arm and shoulder. “And this tank top too, fucking christ…”

Brian is still laughing as he finally captures your lips with his again and yeah, that’s a much better use of your time than continuing to talk about his admittedly excellent wardrobe choices. You think you could spend the rest of your life kissing Brian and die happily at the end of it all but you’re still craving more, so you nudge Brian’s legs apart and move in closer to him.

“Wait, wait-” Brian says, breaking the kiss before you can press fully up against him. He’s breathing heavily and his lips are red and kiss-swollen, and you want to lean back in and keep kissing him senseless, until both of you are breathless and desperate for more.

But you know Brian wouldn’t pull the brake unless it was important so you swallow down the impulse to keep touching him and instead ask, “What is it, Bri?”

“We haven’t done this since you’ve… Well I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Brian says. There’s a flush rising on his cheeks that is no longer entirely due to arousal and his embarrassment is palpable in the room.

You know what Brian is trying to ask, even though it’s been a while since you’ve had to have this conversation with a partner. You untangle your hand from his hair and let go of his shoulder so you don’t get distracted as you tell him, “I’m fine being penetrated, if you want to go that far, but we’re gonna need lube. I don’t get as wet as I did before starting testosterone. And I have a dick. Don’t call it a clit.”

“Okay,” Brian says with a nod. He looks serious, and that’s actually a little comforting for you to see. “What about… I mean, if I, er, penetrate you, what do I call…?”

“Don’t,” you tell him. “There’s not really any term I’m comfortable with yet.”

Brian frowns. “If you’re not comfortable, I can get you off without touching that part-”

“No. I’m fine with you penetrating me, honestly I am, just don’t try to talk dirty about what you’re doing,” you say.

“Okay,” Brian says again. “Anything else I should know?”

You hesitate for a moment, because you don’t really want to talk about this… but you’d rather talk about it now rather than have it come up when you’re both naked and more in the moment. “I had chest reconstruction surgery. I don’t have much feeling up there but there’s- there’s scars, and you don’t have to touch them-”

“Do you not want me to touch them?” Brian asks, gently cutting into your nervous rambling before it can really build momentum.

“They’re… not pretty. They didn’t heal up nicely,” you admit, and getting those words out is hard. You still feel ashamed to admit that your surgical results only look good when you have a shirt covering it all up, and you’ve had more than one hookup where you kept your chest covered the entire time.

“That’s not what I’m asking,” Brian says, with a small smile to soften his words and help put you at ease once again. “Do you not want me to touch your scars?”

You have to think about that, and the only answer you can give Brian is, “I don’t know. I don’t like touching them and no one else ever has. If you want to you can, and I’ll tell you to stop if I need to?”

You don’t mean for that to come out as a question but it does anyway, and Brian doesn’t hesitate to nod in agreement. “That sounds good. Anything else?”

You shake your head. “No, that’s everything. Can we just get back to making out now?”

Brian laughs but gently pulls you back in close, keeping one hand on your waist as the other gently cups your face. “Yeah,” he breathes, and then his mouth is on yours again.

You kiss him back fiercely, tangling one of your hands in Brian’s curls again as you lean up and lick into his mouth. You rock against Brian and his legs are spread wide enough that your hips meet his. You moan at the feeling of his bulge rubbing against you and Brian groans at friction against his hardening cock. Brian’s hand that was on your face drifts down, trailing along your side before snaking between the two of you and popping the button on your jeans.

“This okay?” he asks, fingers just teasing along the waistband of your boxers.

“Yeah,” you breathe against his mouth, and as Brian’s hand slips into your underwear you deepen the kiss to distract yourself. Brian’s touch feels good and you don’t want him to stop, but there’s still a nervousness to being intimate with another person - even if that other person is Brian, who you trust implicitly and who has touched you before.

You moan as Brian’s fingers find your dick and brush teasingly along the head, but you’re surprised to hear Brian groan again as well. “Fuck, you’re big,” he breathes as he rubs over your dick, feeling out the shape of it as you harden beneath his fingers.

You can’t hold back a laugh at Brian’s comment. “I’m really not. Just grew a little, that’s all.”

“Grew a lot you mean,” Brian mumbles against your lips, but your retort is lost in another whimper as Brian slides his fingers along your dick again.

It feels so good, his nimble fingers tracing along the exposed head of your dick and trailing down to gather what little slickness they can to smooth the glide of his calloused fingertips along your most sensitive parts. Neither the years nor your transition have not dulled his familiarity with your body and all you can do is cling tightly to his shoulders and pant and whine against his mouth as Brian brings you close to your climax at a frightening speed.

“Wait, stop,” you manage to get out, and Brian’s hand is pulled out of your pants at a lightning speed. You laugh at the look of worry on his face and quickly assure him, “I‘m gonna come too soon if you keep that up.”

“So? You look gorgeous falling apart for me,” Brian says.

He starts kissing down your neck and you tilt your head back to give him more room even as you tell him, “Yeah, but I can’t go more than once now. Get too sensitive, and not in a good way.”

“Ah, well then,” Brian mumbles against the hollow of your throat. He nips at that spot and then soothes it with his tongue, before pulling back and saying, “C’mon, get up on the bed, let’s do this properly then.”

You snort but pull away and quickly start stripping down and Brian stands up to do the same. You watch, mouth watering, as Brian throws the tank top to the side and shimmies out of his tight pants. His cock is hard and precome is already beading at the tip, and you want to drop to your knees and take Brian deep into your throat until he’s coming undone around you - but you’re startled from your thoughts as Brian gently pushes at the hem of your shirt and asks, “Will you take this off too?”

You hadn't quite realized that it was still on and you hesitate for a moment, before pulling it over your head and tossing it aside as well, and then you’re left fully exposed before Brian. You’ve been in this position before but never quite like this - never with a beard and so much body hair and scars across your chest and your dick just barely poking out from your surrounding folds.

Brian takes a step closer and kisses you again, as hot and harsh as ever. “God, how are you still so fucking beautiful?” he says as he pulls away.

You laugh, your moment of insecurity forgotten as you retort, “I could ask you the same thing, Brian May.”

Brian laughs and shakes his head, and pushes you back towards the bed. You lie down and Brian follows you, covering your body with his, his cock rubbing against your hip as he kisses you once on the mouth, then down your neck and chest, and finally across both of your scars as well. “So beautiful,” he murmurs against your skin and you shudder at the feeling of this part of you being touched for the first time.

“I can’t feel that,” you admit to him when he licks experimentally over one of your nipples. “They don’t have feeling, and the scars don’t either.”

“Mm, well what about here?” Brian asks, kissing further down your torso. “Or here?” Another kiss, just above your belly button. “Or here?” Another, just above your dick, and you’re laughing and arching against him, trying to get his mouth where you need it.

And then Brian’s mouth closes around your dick and your laughter is lost in a loud moan as Brian gives a small, experimental suck and pleasure overwhelms your senses. “Bri- oh, fuck, Bri-” you pant, hands clawing at the sheets and pawing over Brian’s head as he pulls back to kitten-lick around the head of your dick.

It’s almost too much, too intense, and luckily Brian seems to figure that out on his own because you’re pretty sure you’ve lost the ability to speak. He moves away from your dick for a moment, moving down further to lick around your core. It’s messy and sloppy wet but you only realize what Brian is doing when you see him suck a finger into mouth to wet it, before bringing it towards your entrance.

“This okay?” he asks, rubbing along the outside for now. “I don’t have lube, and I don’t want to hurt you…”

“‘s fine,” you manage to get out and then Brian is pressing his finger inside of you. You whine as he starts to move it and you can feel yourself starting to get a little bit wetter with every thrust.

Brian pushes a second finger inside as he leans back down to lick a stripe along the underside of your dick, and the almost-uncomfortable fullness is a welcome contrast to the lightning of pleasure that skitters up your spine as Brian’s mouth reduces you to wordless moans and whines. He’s always been good at this, with his wickedly clever tongue and long fingers moving deep inside you, but it’s so much more now that you’re on T - more sensitive, more overwhelming, physically more of you for him to work over.

“Bri, Bri, Bri-” you moan, and his name and a tug on his hair is the only warning you can give before your orgasm crashes over you. You arch against his mouth and writhe on the bed as he keeps his mouth over your dick, his tongue flicking against the head over and over, his fingers still trying to move inside you even though you’re clenched so tightly around them that it almost hurts.

The whole thing is almost painful but in the best way possible, pleasure racing through your entire body, your dick and core throbbing as overstimulation sets in. Your loud moans turn into high-pitched whines that cause your voice to crack and you don’t know if you want to tell Brian to stop or keeping going forever because it’s too much and you’re in ecstasy but god, it’s too much-

When Brian finally moves away all you can do is lie underneath him and try to catch your breath, even as your dick still twitches with the final aftershocks of your orgasm. You came so hard that you’re nearly crying, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes and your brain so scrambled that you don’t know if you want to laugh or sob but you’re boneless and riding high on endorphins as Brian kneels over you, one hand quickly stripping his cock.

“I can-” you mumble, trying to reach down to help him with a hand that doesn’t quite want to cooperate with you, but Brian uses his free hand to pin yours down, lacing your fingers together.

“Next time. ‘m not gonna last long,” Brian admits. “Fuck, you’re amazing, Y/N, do you have any idea what you look like now?”

“I’d look better with your cum on me,” you say, and where that came from you have no clue - some deep part of your sex-fried brain dredging up that idea without any conscious involvement from you. You can barely even speak and the words come out more as a mumble than anything remotely sexy, but it’s still enough for Brian to groan loudly and fall over the edge of his own climax.

His cum hits your chest, covering your scars and landing across your belly, and it’s a little gross but it’s also a little hot. It’s not something Brian ever did to you before and with how easy it was to fall back into having sex with him after all these years, there’s a part of you that lights up in happiness at finding something new to it all - even something as unexpected as this.

Brian collapses next to you on the bed, also panting heavily, and it’s quiet in the room for several long moments. “I need a shower,” you eventually mumble to break the silence. “Before this dries in my body hair.”

Brian snorts. He has one hand flung over his face as he catches his breath, but he moves it as he rolls over onto his side to look at you. “Sorry about that. I can get you a washcloth-”

“I can get it myself,” you say, though you’re not actually sure that your legs are working yet. “Especially since I didn’t even get you off myself.”

“Didn’t need you to,” Brian says. “Seeing you fall apart like that nearly did me in completely.”

“Still.” You don’t like not reciprocating for your partners, even if Brian doesn’t care. “I’ll blow you in the morning to make up for it.”

That gets Brian laughing, and he stands up and stretches out. “Well, I’m not gonna say no to that,” he says as he walks into the bathroom. You listen as he wets a washcloth in the sink, and when he emerges you motion for him to throw it to you so you can take care of the mess yourself.

He does, and as you wipe yourself down you ask, “What time do you have to leave in the morning?”

“Not that early. Noon, one o’clock - somewhere around there,” Brian says as he lies back down on the bed. “Think it’s only a two hour drive over to Providence.”

“Mm, that sounds about right, yeah.” You toss the washcloth aside and flop back down with a comfortable sigh. You look over at Brian, who’s propped up on one elbow so he can face you properly, and you grin. “If we run out for lube and condoms in the morning, you can fuck me properly before you go.”

You’re expecting Brian to laugh and he sort of does. There’s a small huff of amusement from him, but there’s also a furrow starting to form between his brows that makes you a little worried. But before you can ask if everything is alright, Brian says, “I have a better idea. Come to Providence with me.”

Out of everything that Brian could have said, you never would have expected that. “What?” you say with a small laugh. “Brian, I can’t!”

“Why not?” Brian asks. “Are you working tomorrow?”

“Well, no,” you admit. You knew that you weren’t going to be in any shape to go into work in the morning after the concert, so you had taken the day off to give yourself a proper long weekend.

“Then come to Providence,” Brian says again. “Come to the show tomorrow night, and then we’ll drop you off in New Haven on our way back through on Saturday.”

It’s a tempting thought, and you’re a little scared by how much you want to say yes. You sit up, scrubbing a hand over your face with a small sigh. “Brian, I…”

Brian sits up as well and keeps a respectable distance between the two of you - and that helps, knowing that the two of you can have a serious conversation about this even though you’re both sitting in bed together. “You’re thinking too hard, Y/N,” he says softly. “What’s on your mind?”

“That I’m not in my 20s and I can’t go on tour with a rock band on a whim anymore,” you say. “And that I don’t care, and I want to go anyway. And I’m-" And you decide, to hell with it, you can't keep dancing around this any longer. "I’m worried about you, Brian. You get this sad look in your eyes, sometimes, that scares me a little to see. And I’m trying to figure out if sticking around for longer will make things better, or if postponing our goodbyes will just make everything worse in the end.”

Brian doesn’t say anything immediately. You glance at him, a bit nervous, worried that your honesty may have been crossing the line - but Brian doesn’t look upset or angry, merely thoughtful, and you stay quiet to give him the space he needs to think over his response.

“After Freddie… passed,” Brian says slowly, “I didn’t want anything to do with Queen. It hurt too much and I just wanted to move on. And this new band, and this tour… None of it is like Queen was, and when we first set out that’s exactly what I needed. But seeing you again… having that bit of the past come back to life… It’s made me realize that I think I’m ready to face Queen again. The band may be over but it’ll always be a part of my life, and I think I’m alright with that now.”

He smiles at you and it’s small but completely genuine, and there’s no hint of sadness in his eyes as he says, “I want you to come to Providence because I’ve missed you. I liked having you backstage, and I liked performing knowing that you were waiting for me at the end of it all like you always did before. But if you don’t want to come with me, you don’t have to. I’ll still visit at the end of the US tour leg, if that offer still stands.”

“Of course it still stands,” you say, because that’s the easiest part of Brian’s response to address.

This isn’t 1978 and you aren’t 29 anymore, and maybe you shouldn’t run off with a rockstar for the weekend. But this is Brian, and despite the years that have passed and the ways in which both of you are now different, maybe not everything has to change.

“Is it going to be a problem with the band if I tag along?” you ask.

Brian’s smile brightens a little. “Nah, the band’s not going to mind - and I won’t let the roadies say anything about it, even if they want to.”

That doesn’t mean it won’t be risky, and it’s definitely more than a little impulsive - but there’s a familiarity in the spontaneity, a flashback to years past when you never hesitated to put your life on hold to follow Brian on the road. And you find yourself starting to grin a little as well at the idea of having that again, even if it’s only for a day or two.

“Alright then. Yeah, I’ll go to Providence with you,” you say and Brian, laughing and grinning madly, leans forward to kiss you in delight.

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Hey! Could you write the first genuine fight as a married couple between Punk!Jaskier + The Reader (and the makeup of course) please? Thanks so much?

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Punk!Jaskier and Reader Word Count: 1,928 Rating: T Taglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak​ @whatevermonkey​ @mycat-is-mylove @mynamesoundslikesherlock​ @kemmastan​ @magic-multicolored-miracle​ @writingstudent​ @mlleecrivaine​ @coffee-and-stories​ @amirahiddleston​ @ultracolorfulnerdcollection​ @astouract​ @your-not-invisible-to-me @daydreamer-in-training @morelikebyesexual a/n: Writing fights is hard because you have to make sure both people have a perspective that’s somewhat valid but the way they communicate it or some part of it is flawed and then you have to figure out how they can make it right. I’m not sure how well this went but I sure did do the thing.

The only sound that broke the tense silence in the car was the swipe of the windshield wipers and the din of rain beating against the roof. You stared out the window, the words and laughter from earlier in the night still swirling in your mind.

‘Oh well Jask knows a lot about forbidden fruit, eh? Used to be your steady diet.’

‘What do you mean?��

‘Oh fuck, you don’t know? Jaskier used to pull all the married ladies looking for a quick romp with a Rockstar. It became a bit of a running joke.’

You could feel Jaskier’s eyes on you and the wash of humiliation ran over you again. You’d just sat there, slack-jawed and stunned while your husband, the man you’d been with for four years, the father of your child, laughed as if this wasn’t a revelation. And as if your friends weren’t glancing at you a big nervously as the laughter died down and they realized you really hadn’t known.

As soon as the car came to a stop you tore off the seatbelt and booked it into the house. You’d just thrown your jacket on the coat hanger and were turning into the stairs when Jaskier entered.

“Y/N, talk to me,” he pleaded. Oh, now he’d be serious. Now he wanted to talk. How convenient. You continued to climb the stairs wordlessly, cursing your pregnant body for slowing you down as he caught up with you before you could the slam the door behind you.

“Y/N come on, it’s not that big a deal,” he argued. You spun on him, wide-eyed and angrier than he’d ever seen you.

“Not that big a deal?” you echoed incredulously. Jaskier balked a bit under your expression but shrugged helplessly.

“I mean, it’s in the past,” he said.

“I don’t… I don’t even know where to begin with that,” you said with a harsh, humorless laugh.

“Why are you angry?”

“Because I sat in a room with all of our friends who all knew you had this fun little secret and then I got to look like the fucking idiot who didn’t know that her husband appanrently really gets off on adultery,” you snapped. Jaskier’s eyes darkened with hurt and anger.

“That’s not fair,” he argued, “That’s all in the past.”

“That’s what all cheaters say.”

“I am not and will not be a cheater, Y/N. Gods, this is why I didn’t tell you! This is why! Because I knew you’d overreact,” he said.

“Oh yes please tell me how I should be reacting to this, Jaskier, I love it when a man tells me how I should react to things,” you snarled.

“I also didn’t tell you because I’m not proud of the way I acted.”

“Well you could have fooled me with the way you laughed and joked with them! Until they seemed to remember I was there and it killed the mood.”

“Of course I pretended it was fine, I didn’t know what else to do! What did you want me to do? Rend my shirt? Throw a drink in Aev’s face? She was drunk, I hoped we’d just move past it and then we could talk it through,” he explained, exasperation in his voice that only made you angrier and more defensive.

“Ok, sure, let’s talk,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest and fixing him with a dark look. He ran his fingers through his chestnut hair and took a deep breath before leaning against the bureau that sat across from the bed where you’d sat.

“I’m not proud of the choices I made. And I think I have a right to keep those choices in my past. Have you told me everything you’ve done? Every bad choice? Every mistake you wish you could take back?” he charged. You felt the truth in his words but you didn’t care about that, didn’t want to acknowledge it, you just wanted to be angry and make him feel the hurt you felt.

“So, what does this mean, Y/N? Is this going to change how you see me? Am I going to be defined by this forever now?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, tears filling your eyes, “I don’t want to say yes but I don’t know how to just… be ok with this. Jaskier, I should have known. Or at the very least I shouldn’t have found out like that. Gods, just, having all of them know and sitting there like that I just felt like an idiot or like I didn’t really know my husband and I’m scared.”

“You’re not an idiot. What are you scared of?” he asked, crossing the room to sit by you on the bed.

“Look at me, Jaskier. I’m bloated and tired and have acne like I’m going through puberty again. You’ve seen more of my vomit in the last month than I think my parents saw my entire life. I’ve already been worried about how you can find me attractive and knowing that you’ve… well… I don’t know, Jask. On some level I know it’s not fair to judge you or not trust you because you’ve never given me reason but it’s just… finding out, you know? It would have been one thing if you’d told me but just finding out like that… it feels like it was a secret. And that’s scary.”

Your anger abated into something much more painful. A fear and an uncertainty you’d never felt before in your relationship, not even once. Jaskier wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to worry. That he loved you, fell more in love with you every day, that he’d stopped chasing married women long before you met. But they all sounded like excuses and all he could see was that these choices he’d made, these stupid, selfish choices, were going to haunt him forever. And he silently left the room.

-----

“First, I need to apologize.”

Aevryn sat across from you on the patio, an apology basket of baked goods between you and a pair of sunglasses on to try and quell her headache. Jaskier hadn’t come to bed last night and when you woke up he was gone and Aevryn had texted to ask if she could come over to make amends. You weren’t angry with her but you wanted the company so you’d accepted.

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t know,” you said.

“I did, though,” Aevryn sighed, “Or I could’ve guessed. Jask doesn’t talk about that time in his life for a reason and it was shitty of me to bring it up. Being drunk is no excuse.”

You quietly chewed a bagel, not sure what to say, and she seemed satisfied with the quiet acceptance of her apology.

“Was it bad?” she asked, wincing slightly.

“It… yeah, it was pretty bad,” you admitted, “Aev I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“Hey,” Aev reached over and put a hand on yours, lowering her sunglasses so the seriousness in her sea green eyes could be seen, “Jaskier loves you more than anything. He has never and will never do that to you. And for what it’s worth, he’s never done it to anyone he’s with. I know being the Other Person isn’t great but I wouldn’t fuck around and lie for him if I thought he’d hurt you. I know how badly that betrayal can wound. And I know that people can change.”

You glanced at the ring on Aevryn’s left hand and knew she spoke of her own complicated history with her husband. You sighed and nodded.

“I may have said some things that weren’t great,” you said.

“Everyone does in a fight,” Aevryn said simply.

“He didn’t come to bed. And I don’t know where he is. Aev, what if he doesn’t come back?”

The sliding door opened and Jaskier stood in the threshold, a bouquet of daisies in one hand and his guitar in the other. Aevryn quickly stood up, walking over to you to press a quick kiss on your cheek and to snack a bagel before walking up to Jaskier.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” he echoed.

They shared a meaningful silence and you watched them exchange some pointed looks, a silent conversation that can only be had between close friends who’ve known each other for half a lifetime. At some point some resolution must have been met because he gave her a small smile and she slid between the flowers and guitar to give him a quick hug before heading out, leaving the pair of you behind to talk. He looked at you a little sheepishly, feeling like a cliché.

“I’ve never had this before,” he explained, “Fights that didn’t lead to a breakup. I watched my parents do it a lot and he always brought flowers after. So, I did that. But he also never apologized. And I don’t want to do that.”

“Jaskier, a lot was said,” you began. He gently pressed the flowers into your arms and you smiled as the memory of watching your favorite movie with him came to mind. You’d spoken the line aloud with the actress, “I love daisies, they’re so friendly. Don’t you think they are the friendliest flower?” Jaskier had been charmed and ever since, on Valentine’s or your birthday or sometimes just because you were having a hard time while he was away, he would send you daisies. He was always thinking of those little things.

“I should have told you,” he said, taking the seat across from you, “Even if it was in my past, that’s the kind of thing someone should know before they agree to be with them.”

“It doesn’t change anything,” you said quickly, “I’m not going anywhere, Jask.”

A relieved look came over his face but he quickly picked up the apology, determined not to follow in the footsteps of his parents who just said enough to quell a fight without actually making amends. He wanted different for his family and he would do what it took, even if it was hard.

“I want you to know, I need you to know that I love you. You’re the person for me, Y/N. And I don’t need to chase the validation or attention or whatever I chased when I did that. And even if I did, even if someday I struggle with those insecurities, I’m going to have you by my side to talk through them with and I would rather have the hard talks with you than have an easy distraction with someone else. Any day. Vomit notwithstanding,” he said emphatically. You laughed and sniffed, a tear rolling down your face that he reached across to brush away.

“I wrote a song, because of course I did,” he said with a wry smile, “Not for the band, just for you. And if you’d like to hear it, I’d love to play it for you.”

“Yes,” you said and then, “Oh! Wait! No! Not until I say this! I called you a cheater and that wasn’t fair. And I should have told you I was feeling insecure and weird about my body and our relationship being impacted by the pregnancy, I can’t expect you to read my mind. So, yeah, I just needed to say that. Now you can play.”

He smiled, standing to cross over and give you a soft kiss before moving back to his seat to play the song he’d written that would be heard by no one but you and Jaskier and your unborn child.

[prettyboyroger]

Fame Chapter 3- Unfinished Business

gif: @/borhapmovie

gif: @/lewissimon

Part 1 Part 2

Characters: BoRhap! Roger Taylor, Katherine Teague (OC), BoRhap! Freddie Mercury, BoRhap! Mary Austin, BoRhap! Brian May, BoRhap! Chrissy Mullen, BoRhap! John Deacon

Pairing(s): BoRhap! Roger Taylor/OC, slight BoRhap! Mary Austin/Freddie Mercury in the background, slight BoRhap! Brian May/Chrissy Mullen in the background, past BoRhap! Brian May/Mary Austin in the background

Summary: A former child star making a new image for herself becomes involved with Roger Taylor as they both rise to fame, dealing with all that brings with it and that life brings along the way.

Rating/Warnings: PG-13, some reference to sex, smoking, references to alcohol

Disclaimer: These portrayals are based off of the characters in Bohemian Rhapsody, as such their personalities are based on the movie. This story is a work of fiction and the character of Katherine as well as many of the events in this series are fictional. I do not own Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody, or Roger Taylor.

Word Count:  1914

A/N: So, so sorry this took so long to write guys!!! This chapter was a bitch to write!!! It’s not my favorite chapter, but in the next chapter things really start to heat up so we got almost the entire set-up out of the way so yay!! 

19 January 1970

“You’re really not going to talk about this, are you?” Kathy drew Mary’s pillow closer to her chest. Mary and Kathy were sitting on Kathy’s bed in their flat. Biba didn’t pay well enough for individual flats. Kathy was wearing a short blue romper and had her hair tied back with a little white ribbon while Mary was in a floor length yellow nightgown  “At least tell me how it went! Did he ask you out? Did you shag him in the dressing room?”

“Yes, Kathy, I shagged him in the dressing room.”

“Come on Mary, you have to tell me something! I helped make this happen!”

“You did nothing!”

“Nonsense, I told him that you were working today, that counts for something!”

Mary bit her lip, smiling at the floor, “He asked me to come watch his band audition new bass players.”

Kathy smiled and nudged her friend, “See I am the greatest wing-woman there ever was!” Kathy reached over into her nightstand and pulled out her lighter and a cigarette. She stuck the cigarette in her mouth, flipped open the lighter and drew it closer to her mouth as she turned back to her friend.

Mary looked back over at her as Kathy lit her cigarette and said “I need you to come with me.”

Kathy looked back at her friend, surprised at this development, “You want me to come with you on your date?”

“It’s not a date, the whole band’s going to be there.”

Kathy took a drag, “Is it Brian then? Are you worried about being there with your ex? Because if that’s why you want me there, well, his hair’s a little poofy, he need to stop trying to straighten it, but he certainly has a nice face and he is taller than me which most men can’t say and you know how I feel about guitarists and their hands-”

“No! No, that’s not what I meant! He’s bring his new girlfriend-what’s her name-Chrissy!” Mary’s face flushed in a way that made Kathy giggle. Mary’s face then suddenly turned guilty, “I may have already told them that you would come.”

“What, why would you, wait them? I thought you only talked to Freddie?”

“Well I did- I mean I meant to! It’s just that Freddie was so nervous to talk to me that he brought some- uh- support.”

Kathy raised her eyebrow, “Support?”

Mary quickly nodded, “Yeah, support. HewastoonervoussohebroughtRogerandItoldhimIwouldbringyoutotheaudition.”

“What?”

Mary took a deep breath “He was too nervous to go alone, so he brought Roger along with him and he was there and he was flirting and then he asked me if I had any friends that I could bring along to the auditions for him since Brian would have Chrissy and I would be going with Freddie- and I panicked okay? I told him that I did and that he had already met you and then he remembered you and now you have to come, you just have to come!” Mary collapsed like a folding chair, head on her knees now and her arms wrapped around her legs.

Kathy laughed at her friend’s distress, “I thought you said that I shouldn’t get involved with him, that he was a bad idea, and here you are setting us up!”

“I am not setting you guys up and he is still a bad idea! I just really, really need you to do this for me, please I really like this guy and I don’t want to mess it up by looking like a liar the first time I meet him!” Mary’s big blue eyes were were pleading with Kathy and Kathy always had a weakness for blue eyes.

“Alright, fine, I’ll go,” Kathy smiled at her friend as Mary hugged her.

Kathy looked down at the little pug that was asleep at the foot of the bed, “Can I bring Lady with me?”

“No, you cannot bring your dog to this audition!” Mary said looking incredulously at her friend.

“Why not? She’ll get lonely!” Kathy pouted and pulled the pug up to her face, waking the little dog up in the process.

“Lady’s a dog. She will be fine for a few hours on her own. I promise.” Mary watched as Kathy stuck her lower lip out and the pug started licking Kathy’s face.

Kathy sighed dramatically, “Well I suppose if I must leave her for a few hours, I will, but I don’t have to like it. Where is this thing anyway and when is it?”

“It’s in a room at Roger’s university at the end of the month. So you’ll go then? Even though you can’t bring Lady?” Mary actually looked nervous.

“Yes, I already told you, I’ll go even if I can’t bring Lady,” Mary’s face brightened at that, “But in the meantime we need to figure out what you’re going to wear to this!”

31 January 1970

The university campus was strange after dark when Mary and Kathy arrived. The hustle and bustle of classes was gone leaving only a few students in large groups walking around the campus at night. It was almost eerily quiet until Mary and Kathy reached the room where the audition was going to be held. Brian was sitting on a sofa with his arm around a pretty brunette, that must be Chrissy, and Freddie and Roger were excitedly talking about something and smoking when Freddie noticed the girls come in.

He leapt up from the couch and rushed over to Mary, kissing her on the cheek, “How beautiful you are. Guys, this is Mary-”

“We’ve met!” Roger chimed in wearing a huge shit-eating grin and looking directly at Brian who was the colour of a tomato now. Chrissy was looking between Brian and Mary confused.

“And this is her lovely friend Kathy who Mary has so generously brought for Roger.”

“Poor thing, no one deserve to have Roger foisted upon them,” Brian smirked at Roger, who glared back at him.

“Mary, Kathy, the two who are bickering like little schoolboys are Brian, brown hair, plays the guitar, and Roger, the blonde, plays the drums, and the lovely lady over there is Miss Christine Mullen, also known as Chrissy.” Mary and Kathy waved over to the group who waved back.

Kathy smiled over at Roger who was wearing sunglasses indoors like a real rockstar. Roger grinned back at Kathy, looking her up and down, before saying, “Well, you’re a pretty one, aren’t you?” Brian rolled his eyes at Roger.

Kathy looked over at him and raised an eyebrow, “Don’t you recognize me?” Roger’s eyebrows furrowed as Chrissy burst into laughter.

“This has never happened to me before!” Roger snapped at the laughing girl behind him.

Brian was laughing as well as he rose from his spot on the sofa and clapped a hand on Roger’s shoulder. “As much as I’m enjoying this Rog, it’s not as bad as you think. We just talked to her after our last show.”

“Well at least someone remembers me, I’d hate to think that I’m forgettable.”

“I remember-”

“It’s not you, doll, it’s that he can’t see.”

“What?”

“Brian, I swear-”

“Rog is as blind as a bat without his glasses,” Brian smirked at the fuming blond, “that’s why he wears his sunglasses inside, he thinks regular glasses aren’t very ‘rock ‘n roll’.”

“But he was flirting with the crowd during your show?” “He does that during every show, I think he figures that there must be at least one pretty bird in the crowd thinking that he’s flirting with them and he’s usually right,” Roger’s face was beet red now. The whole group of was laughing now, much to Roger’s dismay, when they were interrupted.

A man, more a boy really, entered the room. He looked very much like a cocker spaniel, with long brown hair and soft brown eyes and was dragging along a bass and an amp. “Excuse me, is this the room where Smile’s auditioning bass players?” His voice was soft and sweet, if a little timid.

Roger jumped at the opportunity to change the subject, “Yes! Yes it is!”

The cocker spaniel looking young man smiled sweetly and walked into the center of the room and set up his amp and plugged in his bass, “Hello, my name is John Richard Deacon and I was born on the 19th of August 1951.” The young man, John Deacon, then started to play his bass. It surprised Kathy just how good he was. Despite his cocker spaniel like appearance, he could play the bass parts of Smile’s rock tracks incredibly well. His timid demeanor faded away as he lost himself in the music and began to sway a little bit to the music. As he finished up a song that Kathy hadn’t heard before, Great King Rat, he stopped to look back at the group which had just been staring at him silently. “Well was I okay?” John’s timid demeanor had returned as he stopped playing the music, smiling back nervously at them.

“It was better than okay, darling, it was bloody great!” Freddie exclaimed and the younger man’s nerves seemed to calm a bit as his smile widened. “Brian, Rog, don’t you two think he was amazing?”

“Yeah, it was really good,” Roger added.

Whatever Brian was thinking, he didn’t reveal it on his face, “Your amp. Do you know how to fix it if it breaks?”

“I actually built the amp myself,” John smiled, “I’m studying electrical engineering.”

Brian’s eyes seemed to actually light up with that, “Well there is room for improvement in your bass playing,” Roger and Freddie groaned and look incredulously at Brian, “but the fact that you built your own amp is impressive. And useful. Can you meet us here a week from now so we can rehearse?”

John nodded and thanked them for their time, still looking a little deflated from Brian’s comment as he left.

“That was harsh. He was the best damn bass player we’ve had audition for us,” Roger commented taking a drag from his cigarette.

“He was, but there was still room for improvement. But I do think he may work out,” Brian said.

“Always the critic, dear, you must stop being such a perfectionist,” Freddie added putting out his own cigarette, “I’d love to stay, but I really must go or I’ll miss my shift.”

Freddie said something to Mary that Kathy couldn’t hear and kissed her on the cheek before leaving. Chrissy whispered something to Brian and Brian stood up, holding Chrissy’s hand, “We’re going to go, we’ll see you guys later.” The pair left hand in hand, leaving only Mary, Roger, and Kathy in the room.

“I’m going back to the flat do you want to come with me?” Mary asked.

“No, no, you go ahead, I’ll see you later,” Kathy replied glancing at Roger before smiling back at Mary. Mary hugged Kathy and left leaving only Kathy and Roger.

Roger walked up to Kathy with the cockiest smile she had ever seen on his face, “Not going with your friend?”

Kathy matched his smile with one of her own as his arm wrapped around her, hand resting on her back, creeping lower and lower, “I had unfinished business here. We never got to finish our conversation from the other night.”

“Do you want to finish that conversation over drinks?” Roger asked, hand dangerously low on her back.

“I’d love to,” Kathy replied.

A/N: And this you can see the exact moment Deaky started writing Back Chat in this chapter! Really excited for the next chapter, I’ve already started on it! Things really get exciting then! Sorry again for the wait!! Send me an ask or a DM to be added to the tag list!

Tag List:

@mhftrs

@radioblahblahh

@z---apocalypse

@fatbottomedbitch

@x1975sos

[nathanorenstein-blog]

Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino Review

Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino Review

By Nathan Orenstein

Release Date - May 11, 2018

Genres - Lounge Pop, Alternative Rock, Space Pop

It’s hard to believe that the last we’ve seen of Arctic Monkeys was in 2013, with their hugely successful fifth album AM. It marked a massive change of pace for the band, but it’s lasting appeal to fans and newcomers alike is far from debatable. Arctic Monkeys’ new sound was met with universal acclaim, and half of the album ended up being released as singles over the course of two years. Five years later, in 2018, Arctic Monkeys are finally back, and they bring with them an even greater shift in sound than AM brought. Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino abandons the psychedelic rock and roll of AM, and instead constructs its songs around Alex Turner’s piano and lounge like production. The result is jarring on the first listen, but the initial shock wears off after a few listens. However, the change in sound is still inescapable, even after getting used to more mellow sound of the album. The big question is whether or not Arctic Monkeys’ new direction pays off, and the answer is, well, kind of.

Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino will likely go down as Arctic Monkeys’ first concept album. Set only one year in the future, Alex Turner plays a washed up rock star, who is now confined to a residency at the Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino, a new resort on the moon. In this alternate future, many people have left their lives on Earth to move to the moon, and the trip to get there is fairly easy. Life on the moon is filled with shiny new technology that distracts even more from the physical world, akin to the way technology is slowly sucking away our lives today. The world that Turner has created sounds almost ridiculous, but his songwriting fleshes out the detailed setting easily and unawkwardly. He uses it to reflect on modern life, much in the way a science fiction film would. And Alex Turner makes it very clear how much of an influence science fiction was on the album; there’s even a song named after it. Turner’s smart songwriting has always been a staple of Arctic Monkeys’ music, but here it is at its most diverse and important. Gone are the love songs that made up almost the entirety of every Arctic Monkeys album. Instead, Turner has decided to focus his attention to commentate on fame, technology, social media, and even stranger topics such as advertising. Opening track “Star Treatment” introduces us to his rockstar character, and begins the album with an almost painful lament on the fame that he once had. Turner’s wit has been replaced with a biting cynicism for the modern world on many of the tracks, and the moments of positivity always have some sort of sharp edge to them. As is typical with Turner’s songwriting, most of the tracks here are told through metaphors, some of which can get lost on the listener if they aren’t listening deeply. This has always been a problem with Arctic Monkeys’ music, and Turner even recognizes it on the song “Science Fiction”. Sadly, tracks like “Golden Trunks” are almost impossible to decode, and the verses don’t seem to have any correlation with the chorus. Despite a few snags like this, Turner has successfully managed to create a world that mirrors ours, and his bitter commentary hits home without being overwhelmingly negative.

Though Turner did change up his songwriting approach and themes, it is truly the sound of the band that has evolved the most. It’s hard to describe the genre that Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino would fall into. At its heart, this is still a rock and roll album. There is an obvious influence from Abbey Road era Beatles throughout the album in melody and instrumentation, and some psychedelic elements from AM remain. However, Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino can’t be confined to its influences. The production across the album sounds like it was recorded in a haze of cigarette smoke, but at the classiest casino you could imagine. It’s smooth, yet cloudy, and the album has an almost sleazy vibe to it, like you would expect at a casino. The music mirrors the story perfectly, and that’s probably the album’s greatest strength. You really feel like you’re listening to this washed up musician perform with his band in a casino. The piano, and other various synthesizers, are more than often the stars of the songs here. Electric guitars weave in and out, but they are not nearly as prevalent as they have been on previous Arctic Monkeys albums. Pulling from AM, Nick O’Malley’s bass is once again front and center, giving the piano a darker juxtaposition in sound. The drumming can feel awkward at times, as characterized by the out of place drum fills that can be heard numerous times on “Star Treatment”. However, the almost jazz-like drumming often provides an appropriate back bone to the songs. Individually, the artists all perform their instruments relatively well. However, the sum of their parts doesn’t fare as well. As can be expected from an album labeled as lounge pop, some of the songs are just not very entertaining. Turner’s crooning over lounge music instrumentation can be as boring as it sounds like it would be, and this is evident on songs like “Batphone” and “Golden Trunks”. Other songs just don’t really know what they’re doing, like “Four Out Of Five”, which seems to wander aimlessly through different soundscapes across it’s over five minute runtime. The band was able to perfect this new sound at times, especially on the first half of the album, but other attempts sound amateur and flat out boring. The experimentation in sound does payoff occasionally, but I wouldn’t say it justifies an entire album.

Overall, Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino will likely be one of the most divisive rock albums of the year, and certainly the most divisive in Arctic Monkeys’ discography. Alex Turner’s songwriting allows him to create a futuristic, yet modern, world in space, but the lounge-like sound of the album isn’t always enough to support that. Instruments occasionally pop up awkwardly in songs, and some songs are just too awkward in general. Arguably the best moments on the album are those that find a groove and stick with it, rather than trying to change things mid-song or trying to introduce a new instrument randomly. But the biggest complaint I have with this album is that it just comes off as boring at times, unable to be supported by Alex Turner’s lyricism alone. Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino certainly isn’t bad, and I probably wouldn’t even label it as a misstep for Arctic Monkeys, but it’s almost too experimental for its own good.

My final score: 6.5/10

Favorite Songs: “Star Treatment”, “One Point Perspective”, “American Sports”, “Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino”, “Science Fiction”

Least Favorite Songs: “Golden Trunks”, “Four Out Of Five”, “She Looks Like Fun”

[preydriveband]

My motivations….. Steve (Guitar & Backing Vocals)

I’ve played guitar for over 20 years and I got into the recording side of things about 16 years ago. I loved being able to turn ideas and concepts into songs and sounds for anyone to hear, and I still do. I studied audio engineering at the School of Audio Engineering (SAE) in London from 2008-2009, had some work experience at Metropolis Studios and briefly with Jason Perry, however I never pursued it as a career. It was always something I enjoyed doing, however I didn’t want to live in London anymore and felt being away from the capital may effect my chances of work. I also couldn’t bare the thought of working with sub-standard musicians who expected an engineer to make them sound good, despite the fact they couldn’t even play their own songs. Maybe thats snobbish? I don’t know - but I’d never expect anyone to wave a magic wand and turn my steaming pile of sh*t song into a number 1 hit. Norfolk doesn’t have many big studios, but in-between working 9-5 jobs and studying for my BSc in Environmental Science, I’ve still managed to record a few local bands (I Said Goodbye, Joiners, Adventure By Post) as well as Prey Drive, to satisfy my audio engineering needs!

Now I’m 35 years old, it feels different being in a band. I used to be full of hope and desire when it came to releasing songs, playing shows etc, however the more and more experience I gain, the more my motivation diminishes. I have peaks and troughs though, however on the whole; I would say i’m far less optimistic about music now than I was 20 years ago. Don’t get me wrong, I still love playing in a band and writing music, however sometimes I just enjoy the process of making a song far more than I do having to play it live and promoting it. Getting other people to hear your band can be exhausting and sole-destroying. Perhaps I put too much pressure on myself and the band to get stuff heard, as I guess i truly believe in the songs etc and think people would enjoy them. But without hoards of money to pay for PR, radio pluggers and show buy-ons, it just doesn’t seem a very fair system anymore. Getting a local band as a support act for a big touring act is super tough, whereas previously it used to be a rite of passage. I remember ALWAYS seeing local bands open for touring acts. But if you do get that opening slot, music fans just turn up for the headline act now instead of opening themselves up to the fact that they may actually discover a new band they like, who are local!? 

It feels like unless you’re signed to a major and constantly in press/radio, not many people are going to give you the time of day. This isn’t entirely true i’m sure, but sometimes that’s how it feels. And we’ve had some amazing opportunities too - like supporting Busted at a sold out UEA show. To play in front maybe 1,000 people was immense, and we gave it our all. But the crowd weren’t there for us, and didn’t know who we were or what we did. We had to work hard to win them over as we’re a completely different band to Busted, however we did sell a lot of merch that night! There are also all too many ‘management’ and ‘booking’ agents too, who will happily take a retainer from bands each month, often of at least £500, and they’ll send out a bunch of e-mails on your behalf with no promises….. We’ve never done that, but had many offers however it just felt wrong to us to spend that much money with no guarantees coming our way. 

Nowadays, as I said earlier, my motivations are just in producing new music and getting it recorded. I’d love for people to hear the songs we do, despite how difficult it is to get them heard, however I keep trying. I enjoy the process of hanging with the guys in PD and just making music. Demoing everything in my little home studio and then taking it to a studio to progress it, is a real fun experience. Making videos too is amazing. I feel we’ve churned out some cool videos in the past and I really hope we can do some more again soon. If I dwell on the fact that not many people will see them, it does bum me out. But I try to enjoy the process of making them and that usually outweighs the negatives.

I’m also inspired and motivated by my wife (cheesy, I know!). She came to the UK 5 years ago from Colombia to do a PhD at the University of East Anglia. She bossed that within 3 years (instead of the usual 4) and now works on a project with her home country from Norwich in what seems to be the perfect job. We got married 2 years ago and are working towards getting her a UK citizenship, which is difficult, but she’s never given up and just takes each challenge on the chin and rolls with the punches. She came from an extremely different background to me, had to struggle with racism and bullying at school and always feared she wouldn’t amount to anything. But she’s now a Doctor in Microbial Ecology and married to a rockstar……