#very inspo shit for me personally so nice to share <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[sakamaki-richter]

@fruit-of-infidelity tagged me in a character inspiration post but i’m saying FUCK THE FORMAT IM RAMBLING ABT MY INSPOS FOR RICHTER BC YOU GAVE ME THE OPPORTUNITY 🫵🫵 (here’s the template for anyone who wants it tho. but i’ll also tag @ask-cordelia-sakamaki — either for your oc, or if you have inspo for cordie that you’d like to share <3 i adore the way you write)

ANYWAYS! RAMBLES UNDER DA CUT!

first and foremost. i don’t actually have any real inspiration for the way i write richter??? at least none that i’m conscious of! mostly it’s just i adopt a completely different writing style to convey the way i see richter in my head. however i do have one fanfic author that consistently influences my writing.

eloha on ao3— their writing is so intimate & purposeful and it’s genuinely beautiful to read?? everything is so smooth, & feels very personal no matter what the situation is. (i havent read any of their stuff in a while though; rip </3 )

ANYWAY NOW I GET TO RAMBLE ABT HOW RICHTER IS IN MY HEAD & WHY I WRITE HIM THE WAY THAT I DO. also i probably write him pretty ooc than he is in canon but i truly dont gaf BAHAHHS. /lh

most of the scenes we see of richter are him just being like. raunchy and skeezy. so i don’t particularly change that— i just write it differently than rejet so it at least sounds pretty whenever he’s doing some fucked shit. but i also just adore like. general vampire aesthetics. particularly their speech patterns, and how every movement they make seems buttery smooth its SICKLY. so i write richter that way. <3 like you know he’s big and bad. you know that absolutely nothing good comes from being with him no matter how close you are. but the smooth sway his hand makes when he points. the way he tilts his head so very sweetly whenever he’s asking (telling) you to do something. EUGH i wanna make everything he does sound pretty when you read it none of you understand.

OH ALSO I LIED I DO HAVE A SINGULAR INSPO I JUST REMEMBERED. (there’s surely more, but you know. whatever). august ruthven! from vanitas no carte! you all have seen me yell and scream abt him a lot and how he and richter are the same to me but REALLY. I MEAN IT. he also inspired the version of richter i have in my head <3 because rejet made him and abandoned him and i’m delusional.

i love tragic vampire lords okay. i love vampire royalty i love it when they’re in pain i love it when they hide things & i love love love it when they’re pretty & manipulative. so that’s richter in my head. yeah. ALSO HIHI @fruit-of-infidelity I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT THE WAY YOU WRITE RICHTER MAKES MY BRAIN BRRRR SO YOURE INSPO ALSO 🫂 YOU WRITE HIM VV NICELY AND IM JEALOUS PLS GIMME YOUR BRAIN.

SO IDK IF I REALLY TOOK MUCH INSPIRATION FROM THINGS— but i really just adopt an entirely different writing style and bend the way richter already is in canon. idk when writing him i need to make sure i can capture all his pretty angles. so i can make him look beautiful when his mind is all broken and he’s all hallucinating and delusional. he deserves the best <3

here’s a classic case of whin ignoring the prompt & rambling abt their own thing. oopsie :)

[earthtooz]

hi earth! i was wondering if you possibly had any advice for anyone who wants to start a writing blog or general tips. if you’re comfortable with it, it would also be cool to know what your writing process is like! you write very well so i’m just curious. thank you for taking the time to read this and i hope you have a lovely day!

first of all, this ask was what got me out of bed in the morning to go to my laptop where i did nothing for like 2 hours.

ANYWAYS I’ve been awake for seven hours now and i still haven’t answered it LOL, but thank u for taking the time to pop into my inbox anon!! so honoured u thought of me 🤭🤭

i’m more than happy to answer any questions u may have!! i’ve only been writing here for like one and a half years but I’ll gladly share some tips for new writers <3

tips for new writers - writing on tumblr in general:

formatting and your writing style is very important!!! people most of the time will like stories that have good grammar and are easy to read, so know your punctuation- duh, i mean, most people know where to put their commas, full stops, and shit, but as even a native English speaker i still need to double check sometimes 😭😭😭

ALSO, figure out if you’re a writer who likes to write with proper punctuation or in lower case like i am rn. people on tumblr don’t care which one you opt for so it’s a matter of personal preference!!

personally, i like to use proper punctuation for longer fics with more plot, and lower case writing for normal drabbles, headcannons, etc, all up to you :3 depends on what i feel like tho, i just like the look of lower case hehe

also, you can totally write drafts on tumblr or another platform - i switch between docs and tumblr. shorter pieces on tumblr and longer pieces on Google docs !!

how to get attention on tumblr as a new writer - the importance of tags:

USE THE TAGS - DON’T BE SHY !!! USE A VARIETY !!!! it’s so easy to get reads on tumblr if you just know your tags. i also will say: be mindful of whether or not you stay in tags bc your post can suddenly just disappear- this has happened to me so many times 😭😭 to do that just search if your fic is still popping up in the ‘recent’ section of the tags AND EVERY TIME AFTER U POST SOMETHING, TAKE THE TIME TO SEARCH IF IT’S IN THE ‘RECENT’ TAGS.

(this part might make zero sense, but if it’s been a couple hours and your post still is not popping up, you can either edit it again, make no changes, and press ‘save’.)

general tips:

have an aesthetic layout.

obviously it’s not ‘essential’, but i always find myself more likely to follow blogs that are pretty or have an aesthetics

it takes so long to do but it’s so worth it 😭 if you looks at the fics that do very well, the formatting it very beautiful and pleasing to the eye.

if you’re struggling with a layout, there are so many inspos available on tumblr, just search up ‘blog inspo’ or ‘layout inspo’ and you’ll generally be pretty successful. if all else fail just go to your fav blogs and see how they set up their blog/navigation/aesthetic!!!

having a set colour for your blog can also look nice and less chaotic. for example; mine is red and it’s my (usually) go-to colour for a lot of stuff. just make sure u like the colour tho ☝️

also don’t be afraid to talk to people! AUTHORS LOVE WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT THEIR WORK!! getting mutuals is such a great feeling so PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE !!!!! MAKE FRIENDS 😮😮

my writing process:

i am that writer that likes to have a plot before i start anything, but it’s never complete. normally when i’m going abt my day, i suddenly think of a piece of dialogue or scenario that makes me go ‘hold on. let me write that down’.

for example, recently i thought of a piece of dialogue for an angst fic (that i don’t know if i’ll use) that goes:

‘no i’m not upset that you forgot about our anniversary, in fact, i already predicted you would.’

another idea i had was: you don’t ever want to leave nagi seishiro hungry.

sometimes I get these ideas when i’m in bed like bro 😐 let me rest…

if i feel inspired enough to continue said ideas, i do, but i never force the fic from happening bc then it’ll be mediocre and just… okay. not something i want on my blog 😭

but then i decide the wordlength, how many scenes i want to be in there. for example, my mistletoe todoroki fic i set out for 4k and met my goal. but my itoshi rin Xmas fic only met around 1k when my goal was 2k - sometimes this happens and i cant be mad if i think the story is done there.

it’s never that organised though, if you look at my drafts, it’s a scrabble of words. i jump from scene to scene with big gaps in between that i need to fill in later 😭 but that’s just how i write LOL ! you may be totally different from me which is a-okay :3

then i grind til the fic is done, reread then bam 💪 ! do my usual formatting on tumblr, tags, and then you’ll see the final result!! easier said than done bc when you want to be done with a fic and just post it, you then need to do all the actual presentation of the fic 😭😭😭

anyways yeah, that’s my process summarised lol!! hope it helped u get a little bit of an idea for what the earthtooz blog grind looks like 🫡

so yeah, i think that’s all i rly need to say!! if you wanna follow my advice or not, up to u, but once again, thank u for popping in my inbox anon and asking me!! gave me something to do whilst on my walk 🤭

cant wait to see what you write, always feel free to come back and ask if you need some ‘extra help’, but i believe in you! good luck and have fun writing, and i hope to see u in the tags someday :D

[loverboybitch]

this was done by an artist im a fan of on instagram; @/allengolder. theyve been posting about projecting concepts and designs onto pinned up patterns to “test print” ideas without wasting materials.//.

[tiffanylamps]

Heya! Because i am awestruck by your outworldish writing so much, i really wanna know some secrets if you dont mind 👀

What inspires you to go and write out a fic? Like specifically, also these q's meant for jwds only. And how do you build the structure, think of the environment, and research?

Sorry if q's seem too vague

AHHHH! Hey!!

Thank you for your message- it's so nice to talk to you

Secrets, you say?? Hmm, I can share some secrets 👀

What inspires you to go and write out a fic?

When a piece of media consumes me (in the way Beyond Evil has), my mind becomes inundated with possibilities. I'm naturally an overthinker in all areas of my life, and that extends to things I am passionate about. I feel this visceral need to explore the text provided, but also, the subtext. So, the media itself is a massive inspo. I am not the kind of person that can just write whenever I want. For me, writing is an arduous and tiring endeavour that takes me a long time to get through. I cannot write unless I have the bug for it- which makes finishing projects very... interesting. (I'm terrible at finishing books, I'm terrible at finishing fics... it's a problem) I do not tend to plan fics in advance. There are only 3 that I can say were minorly "planned" (Indoctrination, By Desire, and one that isn't written/published yet). But that's because they're all interconnected. Most of the time, the words just present themselves and I have to type them down otherwise I'll forget them forever.

I'll give an example of a few recent inspirations:

Blessed Hands was inspired by some real-life sad shit that I guess my mind needed to process

Your Love's Whore was written because a few weeks ago, there was a scorchingly hot day and I wanted to imagine what a jwds hot girl summer might look like

An unwritten fic I thought of last night was inspired by a scene from One Spring Night (I have an outline and gave it the creative title of "hallway". But I have no intention of actually writing it thus far)

Indoctrination was directly inspired by a cafedecanela post that I can't find nor have the time rn to find (but I will look later and link it)

Another huge inspiration/aid is music!!! I'm like everyone else and absolutely live for music. So, I use it to help direct what I want from a story (the emotions, atmosphere, the "vibe"). A few examples are:

Indoctrination was written whilst I listened to sappy, sad Korean rock on repeat for about 3 weeks straight

Your Love's Whore was heavily inspired by five songs in particular: . Posing in Bondage - Japanese Breakfast . Bedroom Hymns - Florence and the Machine . New Ways - Daughter . Your Clothes - Can't Swim . Your Love's Whore - Wolf Alice . and I listened to the album Brasilian Skies - Masayoshi Takanaka on repeat whilst actually writing as I struggled to write if I can hear English words, my brain gets distracted (I hope that makes sense)

I have a whole long-ass jwds playlist on Spotify (which I made as soon as I finished watching the show back in Feb). I love it so very much because there are some absolute bangers in there that are 100% jwds.

And I'm going to keep adding to it until I grow tired.

And how do you build the structure, think of the environment, and research?

Ooookay, now I'm actually going to have to give this a think. The wonderful thing about fanfiction is that a lot of the worldbuilding and aesthetic has been done for you. (Thank you to the cast and crew of Beyond Evil). So, it's quite easy to impose your own impression onto a piece and explore what's already been established. For the fics I have released, I did do research in the sense that I didn't start my fics first. By that, I mean, when I finished watching BE for the first time, I started writing an essay (which required a lot of research, rewatching the show, dissecting scenes, researching film theory, using my useless art degree lol) exploring the show's queer coding. I wrote about 15K words (mostly were just ramblings) until I realised that I needed to explore these characters in a more artistic way. This really stems from the fact that I feel so connected to Joo Won; he and I share a few unhealthy coping mechanisms... (it's the yikes times). I've always liked Joo Won; I didn't have to adjust to him, I always saw his pov and understood where he was going from. I just felt like I got him (which doesn't mean to say, I didn't also openly laugh at him), so I think I wanted to write to work through some identity stuff I have going on. I've trying to learn Hangul in my spare time, I love Korean cuisines so I've been naturally researching that in my personal life, I also love me some snooping- so I use google maps a lot to just look at South Korea (and anywhere in the world really) and gain an impression of what different areas are like. I look up historical events, I research pop culture, etc... and I basically just try to dive in and ingest as much information as I can to make the characters and their world feel as real as possible. When it comes to writing Joo Won, I also use my own experiences (as an English person) to influence his use of language and mindset. When I first wrote Indoctrination, my partner read some of it and told me to change some of my language choices because I used English slang that isn't very universal. I listened to some of the suggestions but not all because Joo Won would totally call people a "pasty dipshit wanker"; or use words like "chuffed", "gutted", "plastered", "dodgy" (and so on) and use the c-word like it's going out of style (as does almost every English person his age).

In terms of structure, I don't write chronologically. I just write whatever comes to mind and then piece it together and edit like crazy. However, I DO LOVE MAKING NOTES AND WRITING OVERLY DETAILED OUTLINES. So... I guess it depends on the story. My three surprise/procrastination fics that I didn't plan at all (Drone Bomb Me, take my name, and your blessed hands) are some of my favourites. (I wrote DBM in a day- which I don't think I have ever done before lol) We can contrast that against a fic I can't even begin to write because the words refuse to come to me, is living as an 8,000+ word outline.

So..... There's not a lot of method to my madness, just spiteful determination.

(oooooooohhh some cheeky screenshots... now we're getting personal)

Yeah... I'm not sure what else to say. It's all just luck and stress to be honest with you. I haven't written fanfiction in years(!!!). Previously, I was writing an original piece that is currently taking a nap.

I think I have mentioned this to you previously but I'm so very grateful for your kind support and words of encouragement. They mean so, so much to me. I am just a wee insecure baby that is the poster child of dyslexia. I know very little about the proper use (grammar, etc) of my mother tongue because of an unconventional schooling experience, soooo to have you say such lovely things about my work, is just *chef's kiss and tears* perfection. Thank you thank you thank you thank you I hope this answers your questions. I'm not sure I have haha!!

(also, please, get some sleep and make you're eating your favourite foods)

Bye for now!

[saintobio]

I've like casted the intro thingy almosy 3 times onto my TV atp so thank god finally my finger hit the ask box- Okay, SO SAINT, IK IM TIPSY RN BUT I MY ALCO FUZZIEX BRAIN CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING BUT SY AND SY GOJO RN. IK IBEEN SOBBINF OVER HIM FOR THE PAST HOUR BUT SAINT, I WANNA CRY AND TELL U THAT U ARE AMAZING AND ILY, I HOPE YOI KNOW UOI DESERVE THE WORLD PLS 😭😭 IM SORRY IF THIS ASK COMES ACROSS AS SLOPPY AND PLAIN ANNOYING BUT HOLY SHIT IM JUSY CRYING AT HOW TALENTRD YOU ARE FOR GIVINF US QORLDS TO ESCAPE TO LIKE SN/SY, OLAL, WASTELANDS ESCPECIALLY WHEN PEOPLE HAVE BORINGASS LIVES LIKE MINE. ITS SO SEDENTARY AND STALE THAT I HAD TO DRINJ TO NOT BE THE SOBER ME. AND THEN YOURE SO NICE AND WITTY WITH ALL YOUR FOLLOWES TOO!!! YOURW HELLA COOL I HOPE U KNOW THAT!!! I HOPE U KNOW I ADOREE YOU MORE THAN ANY AUTHOR ATP. ILYYY. TAKE CARE OR GOJO NO UNBOX! BYE-BYE!!

ty so much!!! that’s so nice of u and it’s not annoying at all :D rly glad you enjoy some of my works <33

@otivez said

saint i've been DYING to tell you this omg my law professor told us this crazy story last week and istg it's sincerely not

it's very long and wild but in a nutshell this son of a high status family in the 60s needs to marry someone and his parents don't like his girlfriend so they find him a woman. he goes to his gf and tells her that he should marry the other woman and then they should see. fast forward a couple years he gets cancer and dies. after he dies, they see that he has 14 kids with his wife AND 15 with his girlfriend 😭 they ask the wife "why" and she says "well she gave birth so i had to give birth too" 😭 they were RACING 🤧 my mind just instantly went "what if reader was like sera too" shit gets even crazier that they even made a tv show about it

WHATJDJD THATS SO MESSY 😭

Anonymous said

Hello new reader here👀 An auntie lurking around.

I’m not an anime watcher (but a kdrama one) btw so I don’t know who this characters are irl? Is that even the term?🤣 I just happen to open tumblr after 5 years, this is my 12 year old account whom I spent my teenage years (you can guess my age already 😂)and that one person I’m following reblogged your Sincerely yours series. AND GURL WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN IN MY HECTIC BORING CORPORATE LIFE?!!! It’s been too loooong since I got invested like this for real😭 I am so intrigue, this is nothing like The Princess Diaries I used to read😒😂 and now I discover this gem called smut brrrr Guess what chapter I happen to read first, it’s the bora bora damn I was like, this series is fucking interesting I’m hooked and started reading from the very beginning. To that person who reblogged that chapter, thank you! And Saint, I love you! Muah💋

P.S I’m not following you yet, I don’t want to see the juicy spoilers 😁but I will, I PROMISE once I’m done teehee. And I just google this fucker Gojo Satoru (I’m in a chapter where I really despise him and Sera right now hahaha) he’s my wallpaper now btw and now I’m introducing him to my niece as my cheating rich handsome fiance so they’d stop calling me an old maiden😩

P.P.S can I share how I imagine yn’s style and appearance? It’s Kang Sa-Ra in kdrama A beauty Inside❤️ this is before I saw your curated aesthetic images for sn and yn hehe

it’s sooo interesting when people who don’t watch jjk actually read sn/sy 😭 i hope u know that they are very ooc in this series, and gojo isn’t like this at all HAHAJAJ also i haven’t watch that drama but the inspos for her fashion usually come from typical kdrama chaebols 😹

Anonymous said

I really wanted yn and Gojo to end up together because I’m a Gojo simp lmao. But if SN and SY with OG characters? honestly I don’t want the FL to end up with the ML I want them to go on their separate ways but have a healthy or civil coparenting their child. They’re both too broken to be together again but if they happen to have the strength to patch things up, I wish they’re already both healed to be together again.

If Gojo and YN is the endgame… Saint, I wonder how… And if they’re not… waaah

Anonymous said

This is a terrible thing to say but I'm toji x yn because i think it's the less worse option of gojo x yn. Both relationships have major issues but toji by comparison has less issues and can be salvage. Despite the titanic reference gojo made in sn19 their ship sunk and is staying at the bottom.

gojoyn or tojiyn, i think we can all agree that yn x therapy should come first 😫

@bellehalla said

this is not new but i will defend those Utahime haters because...i am one of them. first of all, why would you go after your friend's ex boyfriend. that itself is already questionable. then you go after an ex that your friend has a bad and complicated history with. apparently, that's not enough to set her head straight. then, you as a friend, know that this friend of yours is losing her shit, losing her mind over this dude and you're out here uwu catching feelings. BUT GREAT CHAPTER SAINT! <33

ahahaha i just know utahime wouldn’t give this much damn abt gojo in canon 😭 but sy!hime is a cassie

Anonymous said

Oh boy, your writing is so captivating! sn6 is the first chapter I've read as it's been released and what a chapter it has been... Thank you for doing this!

A question, I've seen in your profile that your type is INFP and as an mbti nerd have been wondering if you take the personality types of the characters when writing the story?

Sorry if the question has been asked before but I've just been very curious :)

tysm <33 i’m not very knowledgeable about mbti but i remember one of my readers who did a long post abt the characters mbti and why they make sense!! sorry i couldn’t find it anymore but it was during sn era, which is several months ago T^T

[ovvnwords]

WANTED  CONNECTIONS  ....  hi  here  is  a  list  of  connections  i  would  really  really  want  for  my  gremlins.  inspo  from  all  places  ;  music,  movies,  pins,  etc.  i’ll  post  this  in  the  server  /  put  it  linked  in  my  pinned  post  but  for  best  results  send  me  a  dm  on  d/scord  bc  i  suck  at  things!  thank.

AVIVA  ROUX  .  podcaster  /  content  creator (  meg  t.  stallion )  !

GIRL  GANG  !  not  necessarily  ‘girls’  but  yk  what  i  mean.  very  close  knit,  always  hanging  out,  never  one  w/o  the  other,  etc.  i  like  the  idea  of  them  all  bein’  kind  of  different  ----  breakfast  club  style?  (  aviva  cld  be  the  *jughead  vc*  i’m  a  weirdo  for  example  ).  idk  i  think  it’d  be  neat  n  interesting  cld  even  have  group  chat  edits  n  things  on  the  dash  frankly  i  wld  just  like  for  her  to  have  some  friends!  inspo  ( one  ,  two )  .

PODCAST  PARTNER  ! the  shane  to  her  ryan,  so  to  speak.  the  show  talks  about  mysteries  and  internet  oddities  and  different  spooky  things ( they  borderline  on  true  crime,  but  they  don’t  necessarily  go  into  detail  about  cases  if  that  makes  sense  )  .  i  think  the  dynamic  of  a  outrageous  thinker  to  her  pessimistic  ideals.  inspo  ( one  ,  two ,  three  ,  this  tag  ) .

YOUNGER  SIBLING  !  i  like  to  imagine  they’re  pretty  close,  maybe  close  in  age?  i  don’t  rlly  have  much  to  say  about  this  one,  should  probably  put  it  on  the  main,  but  i  love  sibling  connects  so  !

HATEHSHIP  !  someone  she  jus  can’t  stand  yet  can’t  stay  away  from.  maybe  they’re  an  asshole  but  damn  cute,  or  another  reason.  inspo (  one  )  .

ROOMMATES  ! like  to  imagine  it’s  a  bunch  of  them  living  friends-style,  either  in  the  same  apartment  or  even  building  (  or  wld  that  be  jersey  shore  style.  idk  ) but  it  cld  be  fun  especially  if  they  don’t  get  along  all  that  well  but  the  rent  is  nice  and  they  make  it  work.

FIRST  CRUSH  ! eeeeeeeeeeeee  they  cld’ve  met  when  they  were  children  and  had  one  of  those  one  day  long  things  in  elementary  school  where  they  broke  up  bc  they  didn’t  share  crayons  or  something  JSDVKJDFVKJV  they  could’ve  remained  friends,  been  neighbors,  had  crushes  or  a  fling  in  high  school  .

EX  SQUAD  !  i  like  the  idea  of  aviva  having  a  solid  friend  group  in  high  school  that  all  aren’t  good  terms  with  each  other  for  whatever  reason  ..  don’t  have  to  figure  it  out  asap  i  just  love  the  tension  thts  all.

BEST  FRIEND  /  RIDE  OR  DIE  ! someone  who  has  her  back  and  vice  versa.  supports  each  other  thru  thick  and  thin,  gives  each  other  the  whack  on  the  head  they  need  every  once  in  a  while.  inspo  (  one,  two )  .

FLING  /  FWB  /  HOOK  UPS  ! kind  of  self  explanatory.  aviva  doesn’t  really  have  a  preference,  if  she’s  attracted  to  u  she’s  attracted  to  you,  has  her  fun  but  s*x  isn’t  really  her  idea  of  a  fun  thing  to  do  24  /  7  .  like  to  imagine  she  mostly  goes  for  women  ( hey  ladies  .... )  !

EX  PARTNER  ! i  like  the  idea  of  them  being  super  cute  n  lovey  dovey  in  hs  but  then  maybe  one  of  them  went  off  to  college?  they  had  a  falling  out?  ended  on  not  so  great  terms?  the  possibilities  are  endless  to  be  frank!

RIVAL  /  ENEMY  /  SOMEONE  SHE  JUST  CAN’T  STAND  !  ig  this  could  be  more  chemsitry  based  but  they  just  avidly  dislike  each  other  for  one  reason  or  another?  can’t  stand  each  other?  petty  tweets  /  subtweets  etc  etc  .  could  be  fun  n  juicy.

FRIENDS  !  self  explanatory.

DAWSON  ELLIS .  unemployed  /  formal  journalist ( chris  pine  )  !

FRIENDS  !  self  explanatory.    he’s  40,  so  rlly  he  just  kinda  vibing.

RIVALS  /  ENEMIES  !  i  like  the  idea  of  just  hating  each  other  since  high  school  and  just  have  this  burning  hatred  for  each  other  even  after  all  this  time  …  chuckles.  inspo  (  one  )  .

PEOPLE  HE  TAKES  UNDER  HIS  WING  !  idk  what  this  could  entail  maybe  he  jus  likes  one  of  u  youngins  …  doesn’t  want  to  see  u  in  the  same  path  he  went  down,  tries  to  steer  u  straight  a  little  bit.  stuff  like  that.  very  dad  like  as  if  he  has  a  maternal  bone  in  his  body.

EX FIANCE ! heheh .. i plan on making this a wc possibly, but i like the idea of someone who he dated for a long period of time after he graduated and left irving, eventually who he proposed two. maybe his addiction could have caused a strain, maybe it was because he was traveling so much, or some other reason but then they broke it off. they came back to irving for one reason or another, he came back bc he’s sober now, there’s tension. kind of based on exile by taylor swift + bon iver .

EMPLOYER  !  this  man  needs  a  job.  so  ........    hands  on  hips  who  is  hiring.

FRIENDS  FROM  HIGH  SCHOOL  !  if  anyone  grew  up  in  irving  /  or  was  in  hs  around  the  time  he  was,  it  could  be  quite  fun  to  reconnect.  old  friends  yadda  yadda  yadda.  

SOMEONE  WHO  KNOWS  HIM  ONLY  FROM  HIS  SISTER  !  smiles  at  jean  so  wide  .....  yes  dawson  is  leonora’s  annoying  lil  brother.  he’s  very  elusive  (  or  so  he  thinks  …  )  so  .  we  cld  do  something  with  that  perhaps.

ELIJAH  PALERMO .  little  league  coach  /  student  (  lukas  gage  )  !

THE  LAST  PALERMO  SIBLING  !  yes  …  this  is  on  the  main  but  i  imagine  elijah  and  them  to  be  very  close  and  it’d  be  fun!  sorry  for  the  grey  hairs  though.

BEST  FRIEND  !  this  is  someone  elijah  trusts  more  than  jus  abt  anybody  ..  including  his  siblings  maybe.  they’re  always  together,  never  apart,  besties  forever.  causing  chaos  and  mayhem.  probably  co-parent  georgia.  knows  each  others  fast  food  orders,  encouraging  their  bad  behaviors  …  

EXES  !  i  like  to  imagine  elijah  is  the  type  to  rush  into  a  relationship  then  have  it  all  turn  to  shit.  could  be  on  good  terms,  bad  term,  neutral.  

EX  FRIENDS  !  along  the  same  vein,  maybe  they  had  a  falling  out?  one  of  them  just  didn’t  want  to  be  friends  anymore?  they  just  stopped  talking?  give  me  angst  thank  u.

FRIENDS  !  hes  so  talkative  and  annoying  please  give  him  more  friends  …  my  personal  favorites  are  old  couple  bickering  /  complete  opposites  /  good  or  bad  influences  /  new  age  “thembo  summit”  where  there’s  no  got  damn  thought  in  anyones  head  just  vibes.

FLIRTATIONSHIP  !  they  flirt  …  they  give  each  other  eyes.  and  yet?  nothing.  wtf.

HOOK  UPS  /  FWBS  !  they’re  hot.  and  he  has  eyes.  it’s  basic  math.  

RIVAL  /  ENEMY  !  i  like  to  imagine  elijah  didn’t  mean  to  be  rude  /  or  did  something  bad  to  this  person  but  he  did,  even  accidentally,  but  now  they  hate  him.  or  even  mutual  hatred  <3  constant  subtweets  n  petty  comments  in  public  …

PARTY  BUDDIES  !  theyre  always  together  at  parties  …  self  explanatory.  

PARENT  OF  KIDS  HE  COACHES  !  self-explanatory.

CLASSMATES  !  must  go  to  community  college,  but  otherwise  self-explanatory.  

WILL  THEY  /  WON’T  THEY  !  i  love  this  kinda  shit  ..  theyre  constantly  acting  like  a  couple  but  also  aren’t  one.  everyone  is  dying  to  know  like  …...  so  isn’t  eli  <3

HATEHSHIP  !  they  hate  each  other  .  but  also  f*ck.  then  hate  each  other  again.

ROOMMATES  !  pls  give  him  a  roommate  this  fucker  can’t  function  by  himself.

KALANI  MADDEN  .  student  (  auli’i  cravalho  )  !

PEOPLE  SHE  TEACHES  ASL  !  this  is  my  favorite.  pls  pls  pls.  she  uses  asl  as  her  primary  source  of  communication,  she’s  most  comfortable  with  it  due  to  her  hearing,  but  many  people  don’t  know  it  so  pls  let  her  teach  ur  muse  i’d  love  it  so  much.

FRIENDS  /  BEST  FRIENDS  !  i’d  love  to  have  a  lil  squad  ..  lil  baby  squad  or  even  just  a  best  friend  who  they’re  always  sharing  tiktoks  over  videos  and  having  sleepovers  and  going  to  wendys  at  1  am  bc  they’re  bored.  

RIVALS  /  ENEMIES  !  people  who  just  don’t  fuckin  like  her  bc  she’s  annoying  like  i  understand.

PEOPLE  WHO  DON’T  TAKE  HER  SHIT  /  HATE  HER  DRAMATICS  !  pls  hate  her.  punt  her  to  the  moon.  

PEOPLE  SHE  SPOILS  WITH  HER  PARENTS  MONEY  !  pls  let  her  sugar  mama  u.  she  will  buy  u  legit  anything  if  ur  nice  to  her.  

FLIRTATIONSHIP  !  this  wld  be  a  bit  cute  ..  almost  a  will  they  won’t  they  vibe.  they  flirt.  they  smile.  they  make  googley  eyes.  they  subtweet  each  other.  it’s  messy  and  cute.  

BAD  INFLUENCES  /  GOOD  INFLUENCES  !  people  who  lead  her  either  down  a  really  good  or  really  bad  path.  

PEOPLE  SHE  KNOWS  BC  OF  HER  BROTHER  !  self-explanatory  but  also  kind  of  need  him  for  this  so  .  hehe  .

HER  BROTHER  !  on  the  main,  but  pls  bring  this  kid  her  parent  (  almost  )  .

PEOPLE  SHE  KNEW  BACK  IN  NYC  !  self-explanatory.  her  family  is  very  wealthy,  famous  in  the  social  scene.

[julictcapulet]

So if you don’t know, Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) has come upon us, and after a not so great year, I have been lucky enough to still have a group of friends I can turn to when I’m in need, both irl and on this site. Everything is already so long, so I won’t ramble more at the beginning, but all I can say is even if we don’t talk as often, or even if you don’t think you’ve had an impact, just know that I had a very tough year that took a massive toll on me and even if you reblogged something about our ship or replied to one of my posts, that’s enough to give me a bit of happiness. I’m very excited about this, I really am.

part i. to my partners

I’m lucky enough that I have quite a few plots, all of them with partners who I adore and admire and am in awe of, and believe me when I say it wasn’t hard at all to write my own personal letter for each of you <3

@abernathywrites​ - I don’t think there’s a word to describe your writing other than wonderful? I’ve fallen in love with Sebastian and Bella, my depraved and corrupt murder couple, and I’m so pleased to say I get to write with you knowing just how talented you are. You’ve got a way with words that I just hope to meet halfway, which is one of the reasons it takes me approximately seven thousand years to get a reply, but I enjoy our plot so much knowing how many layers there are to it.

@aguswrites​ - oh KAY we have two plots together now and I am so invested in both of them like our minds…..are so iconic. I swear, we kinda just yell stuff at each other that don’t make sense or connect and then twenty minutes later, we’ve got this sprawling plot with intricate relationships and amazing muses and I’m so in love with it all. I really didn’t expect it to spiral into the absolute mess that it is—when we were first plotting, I was hoping I’d be lucky to plot with someone who didn’t mind darker plots and oh my gosh, I wasn’t disappointed. You’re one of the funniest people I’ve plotted with but you still write so exceptionally well in a darker setting and I love it so much?? I cannot even begin to explain how much I love our murderous near-sociopathic isolated and tragic children, and our badass criminal would-die-for-each-other-without-question squad. I truly just enjoy chatting with you and sharing memes and writing with someone who has the same kind of excitement as I do, it’s such a wonderful feeling and I hope you know the excitement is reciprocated <3

@arisaint​ - We’ve literally just started our ship and I am already so excited about it. The time period, the differing personalities, the sCaNdAl…I’m game for it all and what we’ve got so far is just so great, I’m so happy I’ve got such a talented writer to plot with and someone who’s so sweet and nice to talk to about whatever we feel like <3

@bvckywrites​ - OH BOY can I just say? How much I love our ship?? I think, at this point, we’ve taken the brand Homoerotic Sexual Tension and Subtle Animosity and made it our own. I’ve had so much fun with Sage and Val over the past few months, one of my favorite dynamics I’ve written so far. Every ask meme I write for them kills me more and more with each one I get sent but it’s so effortless to write for them, and that’s one of my favorite things to find and I’m so happy I did :)

@billeypiper​ - Ah yes, how could I forget the person who gives me literally every single ask meme I want? I love Madelaine and Milena so much, they’re such different muses and that’s why I love our ship. It’s ridiculous how long it takes for me to write one (1) sentence but my interest/love for our girls has never wavered, and I hope you know that <33

@danascullyrps​ - I’m absolutely so behind on our plots it’s a tragedy wow I promise to get my shit together asap because everything to do with pirates is like…gold for me and I love where we’re going with this.

@grcvitywrites​ - No, we haven’t yet started our plot, but does that mean I’m any less excited? Absolutely not??? I’m the type of person who’ll get most of their muse from messaging about headcanons and talking about our muse’s backstories and it’s so much fun to do with you :)

@meghvnmvrkles​ - I owe replies and I’m mad about it because I’ve been so excited about these guys for a while now lmao. Anything to do with secrets being exposed and gossip girl and terrible people doing terrible things to each other is right up my alley and I am so ready to really get into this plot because it’s gonna be such a great time I can’t wait to finally finish them okay ily <3

@of-marauders​ - I love our ship dynamic so much wow it’s so interesting and heartbreaking and sad and I’m so excited to get to the next bit!! Something with so much worldbuilding and background information is something I’ve never really had before in a plot and it’s a shame because I’m the type of person who likes to know everything about the environment I’m writing in. And that’s why it’s so great that we’ve got a plot going because I’m wholly invested and can’t wait to continue.

@pcralta​ - My lesbian victorian vampire ex-girlfriends will be the death of me and no, I’m not upset about it at all what do you mean? All the angst and pining that’s going to come with our plot is exactly my cup of tea and even though we’ve, like, just barely started, I already know your writing is great and so is Aurora and so are you <3

@princessflowerwrites​ - HEY THERE I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WRITING AND YOUR ENTHUSIASM FOR LITERALLY EVERYTHING EVER?? You’ve got this infectious kind of happiness when we message that it’s practically impossible not to catch it, especially when you start sending inspo and headcanons for our ships and it’s so nice to have a partner who’s so into our plots I love it so much. You’re just genuinely a great person who likes to send some good inspo posts and really, that’s something everyone should have on this website because it’s a great thing :’)

@rosecolore-d​ - I MIGHT CRY WRITING THIS??? Listen. I’ve been through a few different ways of writing this out, but I hope you like what you get because that’s pretty much how I get all my replies out to you lmao. When we first started writing together, I just kept hoping that our ships wouldn’t die out because of how much I loved our plots, our muses, the way our writing styles worked together because they can be so different from one another in one reply and then so similar in another. You’ve evolved my taste in music through your playlists, I’ve both laughed out loud and teared up reading some of your messages and headcanons, I’ve stayed up until 5am sometimes talking back and forth with you and it’s one of my favorite things that have ever come out of this website. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: We stan our couples who sin or we stan no one at all. Aaron, my Soft and Emo songwriter with the biggest inferiority complex I’ve ever seen, and Camille, my manipulative, won’t-have-sex-unless-she-might-die-in-the-middle, evil bitch, are now two of my absolute favorite muses to write. Yeah, it may take me six months to finish an ask meme but it’s literally only because I’m trying to figure out the best way to make you feel the angst and pining as much as I do. I cherish our ships and our friendship okay ily <33

@vii-writes​ - The first time you ever messaged me was to compliment my writing and honestly, I don’t know if you’ll ever grasp how much that meant to me. I’ve started ships with people through liking their posts or getting the courage to message them first or reaching out after seeing a plot we were both interested in, but I had never had someone reach out to me after they’d read some of my meme responses and wanted to write with me because they liked them. I am so in love with our kids, I’ll go down with Celia and Anthony. I am so happy we started talking and every time I see I have a message from you is a great time <3

part ii. to the ones i admire from afar

If you’re on this list, take this is my formal invitation to come talk/plot with me because I admire you all from afar <3

@fablehaven​ @ofaphroditea​ @sidneyyprescott​ @shutuprhian​ @chvrliehunnam​ @maraswrites​ @faithwritess​ @stardustmsings​ @cass1x1​ @gothgf-writes​ @kaylasmuse​ @slytherin-writes​ @gortlys​ @asteriasrp​ @starswrites​ @malfoire​ @sanktas​ @astral-projects​ @lanacondorwrites​

happy new year.

[licoriceblackaliceangel]

February 1st is the day I made this blog!

First making this blog, I’ve said it plenty of times when it was brought up, but I never intended to do much with it.

I made it for the purpose of not flooding my main blog with bat/im stuff, and having the idea of answering asks for Alice if any came by. I was RPing as Alice with someone on discord for at least four months prior to this blog, and soon this blog delved more into an RP blog more than an ask blog.

I’ve made plenty of friends, have so many memories and a lot of growth through this blog. And despite some of the hard times I faced and forces and situations where I almost deleted a few times.. I don’t regret a thing.

SO.

I decided to make a little follow forever under the cut! A few people (Going back. A lot of people did. Oops.) will get some special shoutouts solely because I have a lot of thoughts, but if I don’t write something for you, don’t think you mean any less to me! If I forget anyone, my DEEPEST APOLOGIES. I have the memory of a gold fish and trying to remember everyone is. Hard.

But just know if we are mutuals I LOVE AND CHERISH YOU.

This also got a lot longer than I expected OOPS

@inkdrenchedsmile: Tea, I tell you everyday and talk to you almost everyday. I love and cherish you so so so much. You’re the sweetest, cutest, most darling thing ever. You are the brightest little marshmallow peep~ And I have so grateful everyday to have met you and be able to write with you. I love your writing and stories and your ideas and art and YOU ARE SO TALENTED! You mean the world to me. I love you, honeybun <3

@kalamxs: GIO. BOY YOu know I told you plenty of times you’re one of the reasons I even went to making this blog. I followed you before I even had the thought in my mind (I don’t remember why, maybe from your AWESOME ART and your writing and rping made me stay) because YOU ARE SO FUCKING GOOD!! I remember laughing all the time and sharing with my friends in my discord even though they don’t exactly understand BUT-- Man I’m so happy I got to actually. Interact with you! And get to befriend you and man YOUR ART GIVES ME LIFE. I love seeing all your stuff and writing and I LOVE WRITING WITH YOU. Bendo and Alice are absolutely adorable as well; fucking dorks. I LOVE YOU BABEY!! NEVER GONNA STOP LOVIN AND SUPPORTIN YOU!!

@bendicethedaughterofthedevil: NICK. You know I been with you since the MERE START. And I told you watching your growth and Bendice’s story was. WOO. Man I sometimes see the old Baby Shower art thing I did for the twin’s baby shower like.. Gonna be almost a year with that too. And just. :(.. THINGS WERE SIMPLER THEN.. I love you Nick, you’re talented and sweet and so so ambitious and strong and I LOVE YOU BABEY!!

@devilswinging: Veemo, I am so glad to have been able to meet ya and interact with you. I love ya man and I love writing with you and your muses. I love the small chit chats we have and seeing you on my dash. I love Alice’s relationship with Bebe and Sammy and just. Man!! You know, no matter what, if you ever feel down and feel like no one likes your boys, know I !! Will always love and appreciate them. <3 And Alice does too.

@instrumentsofcyanide: STELLLAAAAAAA. I fucking love you Stella. You’re so funny and sweet and the little messages back and forth sometimes and you coming in my DMs like: WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOUR ANONS all the time is. So funny. All the damn fiascos Oreo manages to produce and just. Oreo in general. Always gets me laughing and smiling. I love you and your boy so much?? You’re so fun and creative and silly and just an OVERALL JOY TO TALK AND BE AROUND WITH!!! I’m so glad to be able to interact and talk with you <3 (Never forget the first time I think you actually said anyhting to me was about that one Alice Blog Foot Pics Fiasco and I’ll never forget being like; Man someone I look up to and I’s first interaction is over saying ‘wow fuck this girl’ over guilting me for foot pics-- DOFIHJGFD)

@inkwise: AVI I LOVE YOU SM. DFKGJ. You’re so sweet and creative and your muses are an absolute joy. I especially have so many feelings. For Henry. So much. I love this man so much and I thank you and him everyday for my life. He needs a break. I love getting to write with you and seeing you on my dash is?? A fucking delight. Thank you. <3

@lxgner: ALICE YOU CREATIVE SWEET PERSON. You have so many damn muses and I APPLAUD YOU. Your OCs are all pretty sweet imo? The ones I seen. And the ambition you have to write and work on all this?? I applaud. I love your Joey muses esp and they’re so interesting and I love the thought you put into them all you know?? It’s interesting and really brings life into them. Your writing is delicious and your humor is. Great. I love writing with you <3 Keep your head up darling.

@one-eyed-twin: LADY V I LOVE YA SWEETHEART. Your muses are a delight and I love the little threads we’ve had, either it with Phiona, Clyde or Vlad (here and on my other blog) I love peaking at your threads and seeing your writing. You’re an absolute delight and I love?? Your creativity and your ART!! You truly are a person with impeccable tastes ~ Love seeing you on the dash, love <3

@inkyencounters: Glowbun you. Are really a sweetheart. So creative and funny, you really are kind and try to look out for everyone and it’s Very nice. I’m very appreciative of how kind ya are and the creativity you have with your muses and just. It’s very refreshing. Thank you for everything.

@sillymuses: Where do I begin. I love writing with you either with Charlie or on this blog, both here and my OC blog of course. You really have such a creative spin in your writing and really? Feel your characters and paint them so!! Amazingly. I love the back and forth between you and you’re honestly. Adorable. I love seeing you and your creativity hun <3

@inkmachine: GLOOMY I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE THINGS ARE/WILL GET BETTER SOON LOVIE. God it’s always a treat when you’re online and on the dash it’s. Always hilarious. I love seeing what Bendy fucking gets up to this time and he’s so?? Awesome. I love him a lot. The little bastard PFF. He’s absolute adorable and cute and I love the dark shit with him honestly. And him and Alice’s lil Candi adventures are always. Tooth rottingly sweet. I love ya hun. <3

@taakos-troupe-of-threads: I hope you know the phrase “Snap would fight Chalk Jesus for Alice’s honor” is a thing that will NEVER leave my mind and tends to cross it once a day. PFF. I love writing with you and seeing you on the dash as well! Snap is a fucking DOLL and I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. (As does Alice, ofc) They’re absolutely adorable and poor girl is such a worrier PFF. Our DMs are always something funny as well, I think. I always know I’m in for something good when I see that fucking. Orange Danny Devito icon in my dms-- KSKJF

@dappcrdust: GLITTER!! Man. I remember first writing with you with your Bendy muse and honestly? Ever interaction from him to now has ALWAYS been a fun treat. I love your writing and love seeing you on and getting into whatever shenanigans that seem to pop up. Mostly with Angel it seems pfff.. Sweet Angel. I love what you have all done and cooked for him and his character he’s so?? three dimensional i love it. Him and Alice’s BFFship is honestly. Great and I love them SO MUCH. You’re creative and fun and just. A sweetheart. Love ya hun <3

@gamblxrhxsk: tbh I didn’t know what blog to @ YOU FUCKING MANIAC. Jk. I love you Echo. PFFF It’s funny to me that I feel I got closer with you via fucking. shit with CEO-Entity. LMAO. Echo where do I start. You are SO DAMN FUNNY. Like my GOD how many times have I laughed out loud to myself over some shit ya wrote and done?? Hell, even with your stuff with phil swift and entity and all that stuff got my SQUAD TO COME TO ME LAUGHING OVER IT!! I love also all your muses and the fact you got this whole arsenal and can?? Keep up with it for what it seems like. PROPS!! I love fucking around with you here and there and even though we don’t really write together too much (which, I would love to but I’m myself and even still lowkey anxious OIGJG) I just love putzing around and seeing you do your thing on the dash; from jokes to serious business. It’s always a treat. <3

@nctherchpter: Pai, I’m still lowkey so flattered you ever followed me back (and now mutuals with me on our mains like. WHAAA--) Your art is always. Bellissimo. Asriel was always a joy to see and honestly just. Stole my heart. I love him so much. Your writing is always a joy and man you just. Are skilled in The Arts(TM) Your self insert blog is also?? Awesome. I love the concept and idea and going through with a thing like? Honestly. Inspiration. All your self insert stuff really is just. Big big inspo. I’m so glad you seem to have? So much fun. Also I did say it in Nick’s stream many moons ago when they were going through BATIM again. Your voice is v cute <3

@clair-de-luna: WHERE DO I BEGIN WITH YOU!!! Man I remember following your main back for that SWEET MUFFETON ART. My cherished Muffeton mutual. And now here we both are with THIS. YOUR ART JUST CONTINUES TO INSPIRE AND GROW AND I LOVE!! SEEING IT!! And LUNA MELTS ALICE AND I’S HEART ALL THE TIME. God does she ADORE HER LITTLE STAR!! Ugh. I cry real tears. Always a delight to see you both here and your main. <3 I love ya DC!!

@lilithmagne: AC you. Are truly an artistic marvel. Your art is INCREDIBLE, your writing is BEAUTIFUL. And I love seeing you on my dashboard. You are so sweet and kind?? It’s so nice. I LOVE the love and work you put into Lilith and her story and your research and dedication? It’s amazing. Lilith is an absolute BEAUTY and God I LOVE HER. You do her SUCH A BEAUTIFUL JUSTICE!! So honored to be mutuals with you honestly. <3 Keep being amazing you beautiful person.

@lucifermagne: MARZI YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL. Working on all those HH icons for other rpers, working on your other RP blogs and pumping out that SWEET CONTENT. You are honestly a treasure. You are absolute sweet and a joy to see online. I love peaking at your threads and LOVE seeing your posts either for HCs or just IC shenanigans with Lucifer. You put so much through and care into your interpretation of him and I LOVE IT. He’s such a fun goof ball but at the same time presents himself as. THE KING OF HELL. Obviously. He’s an absolute Joy and just!! It’s amazing. We haven’t threaded together yet but even despite that?? I just love seeing you and him (and Alastor and Marx and the gang ofc) on the dash. Always a damn delight. <3

@thatscwewywabbit: we only just started interacting like. a week or so ago but AMANDA Man I have told you before how much I adore seeing you write for Bugs and how it’s ALWAYS SO FUN to see him and your posts for him on the dash. THE AMOUNT OF RESEARCH, CARE, LOVE, THOUGHT ALL PUT INTO HIM AND YOUR WRITING FOR HIM. It’s just so good. So refreshing. Ugh. MY CHILDHOOD!! It makes me so happy all the time. You really are. An inspiration. Writing with you and him is a DELIGHT and love peeking at your other threads just. It’s so nice. It’s almost uncanny how well you play him. My goodness! Keep being awesome lovely <3

@viennaxmuses​: Fuck you bitch. Yeah. You’re getting put here. Bitch. Fuck you. I LOVE YOU. BItch. You fucking fuck. You sweet cute funny fuck. You adorable loving supportive bitch. Ya uplifting comforting creative artistic thot. Fuck you.

Okay this went WAY LONGER THAN I INTENDED but sorry everyone else I didn’t write a lil blurb for. I wrote a lot and I STILL WANNA GIVE SHOUTOUTS CUS I LOVE!! ALL OF YOU!! Even non-mutuals like. I just wanna share all the love and appreciation I have here.

@hxllodolly @cvangclii @snxkeyes @ofinkdxmonsandxngels @brxkeninstrument / @butcherbrains @stupidcoffeeboy @strawberry-lemonade-muses @hazbinmuses @bornloscrs @black-jack-the-cat​ @bluescarfvivi @a-framed-rabbit​ @angelusvoce​ @ask-slender-and-gray​ @wrenchand-abone

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[dinacharya]

Chapter 2. aka, Adele 25 therapy

what are tumblrs for if not for ridiculous oversharing and creeping into people’s lives you have no business being in, right? 

disclaimer: it’s a saturday night, 11:45pm to be exact, and i’m 4 hours deep into listening to Adele’s 25 album on repeat. i’ve also micro-dosed. or maybe regular dosed, depends who you ask. For all intents and purposes here, I’m calling it a micro because i very much have a grip even if my trusty wall tapestry is doing pretty things, and I had a very clear intention diving in. 

the tl;dr is that this 25-year old’s solo post-break up trip is a fucking cleanse and this is the vibe I’m fully on right now:

lol so, how did we get there: 

well waking up from last night’s binge smoking, gaming & sugar session (which was honestly much needed - shout out to the peeps who were there for that) didn’t feel the hottest, obviously. but crushed that shit with more sleep and getting back into jillian michaels* in my living room and eating a healthy lunch and whatnot. 

*side note: i’m sure she’s made millions already, but in this era with all the IG fitness models and influencers out there i still think jillian michaels is queen and underrated. 20 mins of jumping around and flailing weights, guided by her via TV is literally all i need to be like woh bitch i’m back. haha. 

now: you know how there are just those random people in your life that perhaps weren’t around all that long or maybe they had an impact on you that you only realized later? or maybe you just never shared with them how much they meant to you, because you didn’t even know. so there are a couple of those i’m going to bring up here (no names). 

starting with one - a friend from my NYC juice bar days, we spent many a wintery days and hours cooped up in that tiny shop kicking ass honestly with grade A difficult customers. she was one of my favorites to work with - so fun to laugh, with gossip with, just share a space with. i have so many fond memories of night shifts there, snow falling outside the windows. people coming in for smoothies at 10:45pm making us wonder what the fuck? 

she was stunning, tall, beautiful effortless skin and bone structure and all that, she just glowed. she was always lifting up other girls around her while shaming herself. i get it, that’s just what we do, that’s what I do. but fact is she was a straight 12/10 no question. anyways, we lost touch. we all know how that whole restaurant went down in sad flames with our owner locked up at rikers (if you don’t know of the psycho saga via vogue’s coverage, and want to hear a first-hand account, that’s for another day, it’s honestly a fun one to tell). so all the people in my life from the restaurant, who were what felt like home to me in NY, kind of faded out with time.

anyways, she’s one of those people for me that still pops into mind from time to time and i just wonder what she’s up to and miss her. so today in my idle morning of moping around, she popped into mind and a quick social media search led me to find her humble page and podcast she’s just recently started - and i ended up listening to a couple episodes because, lord knows i’m a podcast nerd. but i had a chance to hear her story and how much i didn’t know of her background when we were friends back then, and what a light she still was to those around her was pretty amazing.  she did say that her time in nyc was a bit of a blur that’s hard to remember because she was struggling at the time. it hurts my heart to know that, but at the same time i definitely can relate. generally i’d say living in nyc, as a student or not, can feel very isolating and while i have a lot of very vivid memories and recollections, a lot of that time is also a blur for me now the more distance i get from it. 

anyways, so kind of reflecting on all that this afternoon while mozy-ing around in bed was one part of today’s journey. one bit that was also huge was hearing her talk about her overeating/binge & restrictive eating disorder during that time, which is something i’ve tried to vocalize to my friends and family and even doctor but generally isn’t taken all that seriously. when in fact these habits i haven’t addressed are probably the most crucial detriment to my health. it turns out there’s such a thing as overeaters-anonymous. like AA but for people with compulsive eating problems. that’s 100% me, so this was a HUGE discovery today for me that something like this exists. i’m not going to say i’ll walk straight into a meeting this second, but i’m definitely interested. as carly whose lived with me for the last 3 years could easily tell you better than anyone else, i have a hell of a fucking problem and i don’t even know if i understand it fully myself.

part 2:

coincidentally, around mid day I happened to get a text from an old NY roommate, someone I hadn’t heard from in over a year probably, so it was pretty out of the blue. I always perceived her to be like an older sister figure, a funny lady from Malaysia with a heavy accent and a strong attitude, doing her best to fit into American culture, dating apps, heavy into the astrology shit, and all. Anyways, she hit me up because she was concerned she couldn’t find me on social media anymore (quickly resolved) and she mentioned that she enjoyed seeing my DIY stuff on IG stories and that it was serving as inspiration for some future business she’s been envisioning once she gets out of corporate life in Pittsburgh, PA. It was all endearing and sweet. i have heard from friends before that my IG could be turned into something more if i wanted to, but i’ve never had the heart to put more structure to things that just feel like natural parts of me that i want to remain free, if that makes sense. but it’s still nice to know that out there somewhere in pennsylvania the random things i do in my kitchen and share into the IG ether can serve as a little inspo for a roommate from 5 years ago. also it was just a nice reminder to self that in the same way i have these people i admire and root for and wonder about from a distance, maybe there’s room for me to be someone like that for somebody else i’ve crossed paths with. that makes me happy. 

So, part 3: hello, Adele.

i haven’t been shy about admitting the last couple months have been a struggle for me. basically since turning 25. even leading up to the big number, all year really i’d been kind of dreading what this age meant. it just feels like it’s gotta be messy whether i want it to be or not. considering every prior year has been a positive & fairly steady uphill climb, i figured at some point i’d have to pause/break/falter. don’t ask me why, age has always been something i’m glued to. (it’s funny because i don’t own a clock, the one watch i have is tucked into my wedding planner e-kit and only comes out on those days. given my job title and being a virgo and all, time has oddly never been a day to-day concern for me. (those who know me know i am never on time for anything, sorry) but i’ve always been hyper concerned about my age and the expectations (self imposed, inescapable) that come looming with it*. so birthday season usually is just a very introspective time every year where i evaluate where i’m at, the progress i’ve made, what’s holding me back, what i’m proud of, what i’m not proud of. 

*quick side story, the person i’ve dated all year always would say our age difference was nothing. but that statement always irked me because it’s far from the truth. every year 20, 21, 22, 23, 24 i’ve felt i’ve learned exponentially about myself and grown. so yeah, there’s a HUGE difference, emotionally/self-awareness, all that, between 22 and 25 if you ask me. like bless my early 20′s for being stoned fun & shit, but girl’s been putting in work too ya know?

anyways, back on track: come time for my birthday this year i didn’t really want to think too hard about it and just wanted to have fun, and i did! it was definitely one of the more fun/eventful birthdays i can recall. 

but now, 2 months post-birthday, fresh off of a break up, I’m beginning to see more clearly why I pushed all that usual introspective evaluation under the rug. essentially it’s what i’ve done all year, pretending 22 - 25 is nothing, and that all the work i’d done to get here was whatever. i’d taken steps back self-esteem wise, kind of let my work fall by the wayside just as something to do and not something i was excited about (which is more my norm), and i realize i wasnt being present in the right ways to friendships that mean the most to me. All in favor of some shiny beacon of excitement, being sucked into this vortex of conditional relationships*  and “fun” where i frankly just had no place being.

*linked there ^ is a stellar article, when you’re ready for it

THANK GOD FOR MY FRIENDS. seriously i don’t say this enough. I have been FREAKING BLESSED by the people who choose to be in my life. like fuck yo i know it’s FACT i have not been the most pleasant to be around or hear from this year but the true ones persisted and showed me love when I needed it most, were there for me constantly through all the thick of it and still are. like those calls every day just to chat about what the fuck ever, those random “i’m thinking of you’s” and “let’s hangs” mean so much to me in my isolated world of working from home and just being a general homebody type. let me just promise to all of you once i’m out of this present messiness, that I’ll be back on track. i’ve hated being that girl, i’ve heard myself, and i’ve hated it. so while I’ve been kind of MIA morphing into something i haven’t been proud of, thank you to every single friend who’s reminded me there was still something here worthy of your time and your energy and your attention.

*now, much less saving me, I get to start showing up for you guys better too. 

i’ve explained this to close friends before who have experienced it with me - psychedelics are one of my favorite ways to get a grip on my life. of course, i understand their role in fun experiences too, but i’ve always valued it first and foremost as a powerful mind-opening tool. (so naturally, i adore michael pollan’s latest book “how to change your mind”.) when i’m feeling overwhelmed or at a crossroads or muddled, i’ve found it to be the most affective way for me to tune into myself, see things with a fresh perspective, and commit to the choices i need to. 

so having been on a fucking ride with these breakup emotions, knee deep in self-pity, not knowing what to make of the past year, past month, past week, & where i’m at... i was like, 

why the fuck not?

just what i needed on a night to myself to give my soul a fucking cleanse. it’s a convenient weekend to have the house all to myself. read: a good place to be singing at the top of my lungs haha and doing whatever the fuck my single ass wishes all night. somehow along the way, i managed to cook up a pretty A+ tikka masala sauce and prepped a brussel sprouts salad for a dinner with friends tomorrow night, don’t ask me how. i’ve had a spiritual fucking connection to every single song on this Adele 25 album, obviously. idk why it hadn’t occurred to me until doing this that i’m now 25 listening to this album :) so all of this is to say:

Thank you, Adele.

for being a girl i can identify with who marks progress with age, unabashedly tunes into her emotions, and provides breakup comfort like no other. even though i refused to listen to this album until like a year ago

(also can we just take a moment to appreciate that Adele posted this on her own IG profile)

Thanks to those who aren’t necessarily at the frontlines of my life, but have a place in my heart, whether you know it or not, and bring forth some amazing shit or tune in at the right times.

Thank you, most sincerely, to each and every one of my friends that I won’t name here. 

Close and far, you’re the ones pulling me out of a drudge of a year where I lost myself and you’re reminding me what I love to do and who I am and it feels good to get a footing again. 

~ ciao, finally @ 1:43am.

p.s. below is THE picture of what i’ve been like for the last couple weeks ~ can always count on a new girl reference to have my back heheh

*we can also mark this as the night where i FINALLY get over my weird thing about not liking “Hello.” That shit’s a fucking masterpiece who was i to say anything otherwise hahaha

[resilientreader]

1-98 for asks like we did a million years ago, I dare you

i knew the MOMENT i saw the notif in my inbox that it was gonna be YOU pulling this shit and i crossed my fingers when actually clicking, HOPING i wouldnt have to answer all 98, maybe you’ll be tame this time, but no! this is what you’re doing to me. and ykno what, Fine. u dare me and i Will do it. i hope u rb the asks post so i can do it to u too, tho

1. coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars

3. bubblegum

4. that smart student who always read instead of actually paying attention

5. soda from glass cups is the best

6. its hard to just Decide between all these styles so ill say which one applies to mine most, which i Gotta say has to b preppy even if i want like goth or grunge to b mixed in

7. headphones

8. good omens, fmab, castlevania, uhhhh. those are just the ones ive watched so far this summer

9. my grandparents’ home. which is kinda weird but i have a lot of summer memories there

10. i sucked at like Everything in p.e., there Was no best

11. leftovers

12. i cant choose a favorite playlist?? /some/ of them, tho, are soar my ethereal heart, neither here nor there, mountainside storms, and sync of my heartbeat. so like any of my more recent ones

13. lanyard

14. i had to google a list for this bc honestly i always eat just chocolates but i like starburst

15. fahrenheit 451 was a rly fun read. ray bradbury’s writing gave me inspo for metaphors and writing and such and it was rly nice

16. sprawled across one of those comfy armchairs where i can swing my legs over one arm n lay my head on the other one

17. my black converse

18. cool temperature and rain without storms, or a cloudy day that lets me take a nice walk

19. on my side if i can but on my back otherwise

20. on my laptop, in google docs, to be more specific

21. winnie the pooh

22. idk?? i try not to look to just one person for a source of “this is how i should be”, so i guess,,,, a mix of family members and then a couple like more famous ppl??? which would basically consist of one of my aunts, my dad, and jenna marbles, to keep my Brain Process for role model stuff simplified

23. i dunno if any of the habits i have are strange?? i bounce my right leg and my right hand kinda. like. shakes when im nervous. i cant rly think of anything else i do tho i Know i probably have other habits

24. amethyst or pyrite

25. ur really just assuming my memory is good enough for this but if i had to say, it’d be any popular song from 2009 specifically

26. hide in my room with a fan and ac

27. read with a blanket wrapped around me or smth

28. atlas: six by sleeping at last, flaws by bastille, atlas: five by sleeping at last, she by dodie, and neptune by sleeping at last. there are probably more/better ones but those are the first ones i found

29. listen. be open with me. talk with me. not to sound like that person, but sharing ur life secrets is a rly big ice breaker for me because it helps let me know i can trust u. but also idk im a really awkward person and can accidentally distance myself from ppl so when ppl notice theres smth up w me or even do the bare minimum of doing Their part to maintain a friendship, that’s always rad as shit when idk how to communicate what i need

30. my room, my high school’s auditorium, the local barnes and noble

31. black boots, black jeans, any button-up shirt that’ll match that combination OR a really cool sweatshirt

32. im a bad bitch, you cant kill me. road work ahead? uh, i sure hope it does. it is wednesday, my dudes! welcome to chili’s. i love you, bitch, and i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch.

33. probably “omg” or “oh my god”

34. sc johnson. a family company.

35. i dont even have one but on a good night like 10-11

36. the troll face memes

37. suitcases feel much more organized

38. lemonade

39. lemon cake

40. ummmmm....one time a tech/theatre kid left a paint can sitting out in the open accidentally and a person took a shit in it or smth then knocked over the can, spilled a bunch of paint, and tried to clean it up w a broom and proceeded to like snap the broom in half. then they ran away to leave the kids to clean it up the next day. i wasnt actually there for that but ive heard the story firsthand enough times to Know

41. my dad

42. jacket pockets

43. hoodie is what i wear, tho everything else is Very Good

44. lavender

45. fantasy, my dudes

46. this set of pjs i got for xmas w a soft tshirt and matching baggy flannel pants

47. colby jack

48. uhhh a banana?? i could probably give a better answer if i was more

49. i dont rly live by a quote or saying, i just Go for it

50. my sister has probably done smth before to like Break me

51. everything ever but mostly myself

52. arial

53. uhhh...kinda worn? my nails aren’t doin so good and i have a couple scratches and stuff that Still havent healed after a few weeks

54. get a move on

55. the ugly duckling

56. tradition is kinda vague but i like that it became tradition for me and my siblings to go to my grandparents’ home every summer

57. i think im still overcoming like everything ive been faced with ever

58. writing? listening, helping, giving advice. idk tbh like talents who?

59. "jesus christ, my dude”

60. a fantasy/comedy, or at least if its gonna be fantasy with death and stuff, it should be dope as fuck

61. "isn’t vulnerability the opposite of being in control?” from a webcomic called aerial magic. super simple but the entire scene leading up to it,,,,,so good

62. umm fuck! i dont kno whether favs r usually ones that i relate to or ones that i wanna b like but??? keith from voltron, jirou from bnha, chromedome and/or rewind from transformers/mtmte, sypha from castlevania, and jayfeather from warriors

63. planetary (go!) by mcr, the seed by aurora, hayloft by mother mother, the cup/halloween blues from relient k, choke by i dont know how but they found me

64. coolmath was THE shit

65. yes! two on my leg from a surgery i had to get to realign my femur, bc i snapped the bone in half

66. lavender, snowdrops, hibiscus

67. i dont really have any, mostly bc i have a hard time attaching like. That sorta meaning to just random objects, but i do still have a small teddy bear stashed safely away in my room from when i was a little babee

68. pickle-flavored pringles. disgusting. would not recommend

69. lions’ roars can be heard up to 5 miles away from the original source

70. right handed

71. horizontal stripes, i guess? there’s not much wrong with them but i just Never wear them

72. math

73. i dont usually eat /weird/ flavor combos, even tho ill eat basically anything, but i like ketchup in mac and cheese sometimes. or fries in shakes. chicken and waffles. stuff like that

74. 11

75. idek honestly, my memory is too bad

76. hashbrowns

77. i dont kno a Lot of plants off the top of my head other than the Basic ones but literally any flower in a windowsill is like bone apple teeth in my mind

78. sushi from a grocery store. publix taught me that grocery stores can, in fact, be trusted when needed

79. my school id photo

80. earth tones

81. fireflies

82. pc

83. writing

84. talk radio is nostalgic but podcasts are always more entertaining to actually listen to

84. polly pocket

85. mythology with a dash of fairytales

86. cupcakes, because of my dog’s name

87. abandonment

88. to grow unbreakable attachments with everyone i care very deeply about and grow into an old age with them, or something

89. i feel like answering this question totally honestly would hurt ppl’s feelings, but also i literally could think of like 4 people to put down for this and i’m bad at deciding, esp w smth like this, so. not to b vague but These People kno who they are

90. becoming a part of a certain website with a bad crowd and managing to pick out the good apples in such a rotten batch

91. boxes

92. lamps /and/ fairy lights

93. i dont rly have any but my parents call me hannah banana. that’s ab it, tho

94. fall/winter? it kinda is inconsistent because fall has bad weather in florida but winter is when like everything has Gone Wrong in life these past few years, but then fall has such a GOOD aesthetic and my birthday is in winter, so they’re pretty even rn

95. uhhh??? thats such a weird thing, to try and assign a “favorite” app, but the only thing i could think to say would be spotify just bc i use it so much on my phone, even if the app itself isnt the greatest

96. i havent set one, actually, bc im lazy and havent found anything that’d fit

97. 2 and a half

98. the part where fish were learning that they could walk on land

[thelavendrhaze]

annual writing evaluation

thanks for tagging me @aloequeerafic i love u and ur fics (srsly my fave writer -- everyone plz go read her fics if u already haven’t! below are my answers to this writing evaluation. 

List of works published this year (from oldest to latest)

you are in love

green in the morning and blue afternoon

like pretty lights

Work you are most proud of (and why):

deff yail just because it was such a personal story and i loved the way i was able to play it out. while aspects of it were true to my life, there were a lot of things i had to leave out but i still put it together as a whole fic and i think it worked! i was happy with my writing in it, i am in love with all the characters, and i just really enjoyed the POSITIVE reactions it got. im happy i was true to the story and did it the way i wanted to. 

Work you are least proud of (and why):

umm in terms of THIS YEAR, maybe lpl since i have been so shit on updating it. my inspiration is just lacking and time is running out on me in lightening speed. but idk it’s hard to say bc sometimes even though i think the piece is okay i still put it out and then later cringe at what i wrote. i think everyone does that tho

A favorite excerpt from your writing:

this is hard but two things that come to mind right away are from yail. one is chapter 22: the one where harry finds out. that chapter...was a hard one to write. so much had to be said and i needed to make sure i expressed the emotions properly without making it seem TOO over the top. in scenes like those it’s tricky. another that comes to mind is chapter 25: the one where the school year comes to an end. this is a breakup scene and usually breakup scenes are full of emotion but are often rushed or just...cringey. but i was very happy with this one. i took...stuff from how i felt during a breakup and i think that made it real. anyway here’s an excerpt:

“I’ll do anything to make it work, though,” Louis said, practically begging. “You don’t know -- you don’t --.” He could barely speak through his tears because it felt like his throat was sealing up and Harry looked absolutely devastated. Louis’d never thought that after everything they’d been through that it could ever come down to this -- the two of them sobbing on Harry’s bed while he told Louis that even though he loved Louis and Louis loved him, it still wasn’t enough. “You don’t know how much you mean to me, Harry,” Louis was finally able to say. “You’re the best -- best everything. You’re everything.”

“And you’re mine,” Harry said like it was a promise, barely able to speak himself.

Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

i don’t wanna copy and paste anything bc a lot of comments have spoilers, but all the lovely comments on yail are just so special to me. there are some who left long ones telling me how affected they were by the fic and that means everything. yail did get a ton of backlash in the beginning but i don’t even think of that anymore. the positive outweighs the negatives. 

A time when writing was really, really hard:

working on lpl was so difficult tbh. like every part i end, i take a 6 month long break before i pick that fic up again and idk why that is. like time is deff an issue but this is just ridic. i’m so frustrated at myself. i need the inspo for this fic to jUST STAY

A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

i think that louis in yail was so important. i loved writing him how i wrote him. he was so personal to me and i think alot of ppl related to him in that fic. idk if he surprised me, but he’s the one that stands out the most.

How did you grow as a writer this year?:

i think i’ve become alot more organized in terms of outlining, which makes it easier to write. i also think the more you write, the better you get, so i’ve gotten better over time! 

How do you hope to grow next year?:

not sure...maybe finish more fics and write mroe frequently if possible?? 

Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

@realitybetterthanfiction had my back all throughout yail which was so nice of her. she was supportive, extremely detailed, and understanding. couldn’t have asked for a better beta! same goes for my other betas @stephloveslarry and elizabeth (who i can’t seem to tag????)

Anything from your own life show up in your writing this year:

as i said before, yail deff did. but everything i write has little bit of me or my friends or my life in it. 

Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

ummm 

1) don’t start a fic with the characters waking up

2) don’t dump information and their life stories within the first few scenes

3) outline is so important

4) get a beta always

5) smut is cool but if it’s repetitive don’t write it

6) every story needs a conflict that needs to be overcome otherwise the characters don’t develop or grow

Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

LPL!!!! lmao

Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

@alienproof

@alivingfire

@isthatyoularry

sorry if u already did this!!!

[mmmelanie-blog1]

greetings loved ones ! i love snoop dogg deal with it ! im benzo im literal trash thanks for checking in lmao im so excited for this u have no fkn idea boo ( feel free 2 msg me or like this post if ur too lazy n i will contact u once i get back home ) i love twd and alanna masterson a lot ( ok twd is becoming a lil bad but ima still watch it tho ) so this is a huge deal for me to play her n also my first time so dont ride my dick like this if theres something wrong with her or smth pls bare w me ! under the read more u will find a bit more about my babe MELANIE MILLER and about the connections and stuff keep in mind that im still trying to figure her out and all that stuff so have fun !

mel has lived all of her life in hermosa beach, she was born and raised there and loves it and would never ever leave it here she’s shocked and upset her parents decided to move out of there which takes us to her current living status: she lived with her parents until she turned 21, she rented an apartment and has been living on her own ever since. her father was the local owner of THE BAR ( ya the bar its called THE BAR dont make a big deal outta it have u not seen gone girl? jeez ) and when they moved out of hermosa to travel around the world with all the bar’s funding they left mel in charge of it and its been a crazy ride for her bc she literally knew nothing about how to manage a bar but now she does and shes an ace !

SHES THE YOUNGER DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL, she has three brothers ( canon masterson boys bc i love them ALL esp jordan ) who eventually come visit her n she loves them with all her damn heart ! her family means the most to her and shes always happy to have them around like u have no idea how much ! she also has a little niece ( i didnt wanted mel to have a child but I CANT CUT OFF ALL THE CUTE MARLOWE PICS SO ) who means absolutely everything to her ! she loves kids bc she considers herself a child at heart mmmm

her label is the BENEVOLENT meaning she’s really caring and soft and sweet. picture jess day from new girl minus all the glitter and girly things. mel is kind of a tomboy who wouldnt mind to wear dresses on special occasions ! lmao she’s super funny but will always bring the dad jokes to the table but lbr who doesnt love a dad joke lmao shes rly weird but in that sweet nice way you know ?

she was born in a very religious family and she always did what her parents wanted to so now that she’s all on her own she’s like free and ready to be wild but she’s like am i really ready for this ? am i as wild as everyone else seem to be ? she’s very responsible she was RAISED that way and she can’t help it ofc sometimes she’s like you know what i dont care im going to do it.... will i regret it? probably but i dont care !

mel is ALL AGAINST conflict shes the one to talk her way through things and be as civil as possible unless you wanna get wild she will probably walk the heck away from u and be like “not gonna have it, my dude !” you know? she loves attention but she never shows, shes kinda insecure about her looks in general and she pulls it off in a funny way like im gonna drag myself before u do so dont bother.... she is very sensitive but its going to take you a little bit harder than “u look bad” to make her feel bad you know.... she will probably cry later when no ones around but shes not going to let you know !

shes so aesthetic she loves art, painting, music, museums, the stars, the moon and everything else ... she believes 100% in alien and supports the theory that THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE she lowkey scully and mulders child lmaooo

she got a major in psychology so listening to people and comforting them is the thing she loves the most ! she lives for the present, dont talk to her about her past or ask her about the future that kinda annoys her although shes soft hearted and all she likes being straight up with almost everyone ! if you wanna die lie to her um she aint gonna kill u u idiot but she gonna cut u right tf off without hesitation !

PISCES SUN / GEMINI MOON / ARIES RISING !

shes an emotional wreck, she literally has no luck at all with love shes a fucking mess she falls for the wrong person EVERY FREAKING TIME ( i can relate ) she covers her emotions ( when talking about love and relationships ) with indifference and humor most of the time she be like “i dont rly need someone to constantly be there for me men aint shit” but she be crying in her sleep for someone to cuddle her every night lmao thats the way she is man u gotta love her

WANTED CONNECTIONS

SO BASICALLY i love new girl a lot and i love it specially bc it gives u so many ideas for connections and stuff lmao if u want some inspo check a new girl blog and we will get a connection from it lol but yeah my most wanted connections as of right now are:

friends to lovers: they are RIDES OR DIES basically, it doesnt have to be like uh they known each other forever nah its alright if they just met like a year ago anyway they p much together all the time and one of them ( either ur muse or mel idc ) start to feel things for the other and its annoying bc they dont wanna ruin this thing at all .... plot twist ? if u like to watch ur characters suffer, like ME ! maybe this thing is a ONE SIDED THING like one has feelings and the other is like lmao yikes ! so everything slowly becomes awkward ! i dont rly know i dont mind how this actually turns out tbh as long as we have it !

bestfriends: ALMOST SIBLINGS they have known each other for literally YEARS they went to school, high school and maybe college together ! p much melanie is the mother and ur muse is the reckless teenager whos always asking for help but they love each other a lot ! think about cece/jess from new girl :)

roomies ( 0 / 3 ): they all different from one another its a miracle they all get along this well ! they are a huge fucking mess but they are there for each other all the time ! they all live in a loft or a house idk we could figure that out laters ! ( tba )

exes: well okay as explained before, mel is a huge mess when it comes to love ! this could go two ways, they ended on bad terms but try to be as civil maybe ? melanie is a caring loving bitch but when shes in a relationship her insecurities take over most of the times and thats why it messes everything up and MAYBE thats one of the reasons why they broke up ? idk man we can work something out.... OR THEY ENDED ON REALLY NICE GOOD TERMS and still care for each other and its like they are there for each other but its kinda awkward bc do we still love each other like that or are we like family now ? you know ? I DONT MIND MELANIE HAVING LIKE TWO EXES SO LMAO

sugar daddy: is she into that daddy kink ? whO KNOWS ! but lately shes been drooling over u and its kinda nice but shes afraid bc this will probably end up really bad but shes still willing to take one for the team !

big little lies ( 0 / 5 ): MY FAVORITE SHOW so im thinking a group of FIVE to SIX powerful women ( who havent killed anyone yet so chill ) who are there for each other and have wine nights and sit by the fire to talk about their days and stuff like that so yeah that would be so cute ! ( tba )

conspiracy theories buddy: they dont just talk about conspiracy theories but they do lmao also “did u heard about the haunted house up in the hills? wanna go?” they vibe Hard its 4 am n they texting about aliens the universe and sutff like that ! ( tba )

ok thats p much all i can think of ! if there any other connection u wanna have dont hesitate to let me know ! i love sharing ideas and crying over headcanons so its fine by me ! also im running late to work so if u wanna plot hmu and like this thing and ill make sure to reply to all ur msgs once i get back home !