#very briefly... u.u

[magnifiico]

Gale glided through the air, whistling softly as they entered Magnifico's tower window with ease and making note of the King's neatly arranged potions that were set atop a nearby table. Swiftly gliding over to the bottles, it swirled underneath them and rearranged their order into something that appeared far more unorganized and chaotic. With a laugh-like howl, the spirit proudly flew through the air, its leaves trailing behind them until it eventually found Rosas King, pouring over one of his books, to which Gale quickly lifted out of his hands as well as his reach.

@sparesovereign || in which mags not only is adopting all the royalty but spirits too v.v

King Magnifico valued his quiet, alone time within the confines of his office just as much as he valued the loud attention and reverence of his people—and so, entirely ecstatic as he was to be gracing the streets of Rosas with his presence (They deserved it, after all; his good people had earned the privilege), he was rather pleased to return to the lower energy of his privacy late that afternoon. Queen Amaya had greeted him with her usual patient smile, noted what could’ve only been a weariness on his face, and left him at his office doors to be by himself. And yet, as it would turn out…

Not everyone was properly equipped to read the signs of a king not wanting to be disturbed.

Without the need for a show of grandiosity and splendor, Magnifico could be found reclined in his seat—likely one thought short of propping his feet up on his desk. In one hand, a spellbook in which he’d recently rekindled an interest. His other, switching off between physically turning the pages and magically. He’d reveled in a grand total of an hour of peace and quiet before he heard a telling sound: a distant, barely perceptible whistle eventually amplifying to a howl. Already, his eyes drifted suspiciously up from the text—

—in proper time to see a flurry of leaves right before his tome was abruptly swiped out of his possession.

“Gale…” King Magnifico’s tone immediately rolled out as an admonishment, no different than a father scolding his child. He didn’t yet budge from his position—comfortable as he was—and rather watched the book slowly rise out of reach, his brows arching with it. But nevertheless, the spirit still pulled half of a smile out of him. “Someone must be exceptionally bored. Is Queen Anna not giving you enough attention?” With a flourish, he made an attempt to yank the book back, magic tugging on the spirit’s force.

[miwachan2]

The first chapter of your fic is so fun! The fight with the vampire at the intro was very engaging!

I love your y/n; they’re so Pure of Heart, Dumb of Ass and their friendship with Bee is super cute! <333

Interesting that y/n has prior knowledge of vampire robots existing, I wasn’t sure if the boys were unique cases or if someone had created similar beings before so that’s a neat bit of information!

It seems like Sun is about to absolutely clown on y/n in a tussle, but hopefully nobody gets too beat up!

🤗🤗 I'm glad! I tried to explore Y/Ns personality with three seperate scenarios all shoved into the first chapter (which I hope wasn't too messy, it felt kinda messy for me and I wrote it lol)

I'm also really glad people seem to like the friendship between Bee and Y/N, tbh that was my favorite part to write in the whole chapter lol

Yes Y/N has heard of robotic vampires before, as have other hunters, but i was goin for more like rumors and speculations, and stories to scare little kids. Like, just cause you've heard of it doesn't mean you're gonna belive it kinda deal. But finding out the truth means it's already too late

So when Y/N realized Sun was made of metal , I briefly pictured them like that one pikachu meme lol

I'm pretty excited for the next chapter too OwO idk when it'll come out cause I'm pretty slow at writing (obviously lol) and writers block likes to beat me up alot u.u

[corrodedcoughin]

🐰🦋 ✨🎵🎧 for the emoji ask game and 🐱 (which might be a higher level than you expected, sorry for that, but fwiw for my brain that views any social interaction intimidating it's relatively low and you really seem like a very chill and friendly person, especially after I actually talked to you briefly before) for the intimidation level meme! Hopefully you're having a nice day cuz you totally deserve it (and the whole world as well u.u)💜

hi Liam!!!!! How ARE you?! Good I hope! And if not good then I hope you find some small good in your day soon

🐰 - what do you think says the most about a person?

Cliche answer but genuinely the way they interact with other people. But I mean people as a whole. I work in health and social care and the differences in the way one person can speak to different people depending on their background/status/perceived presentation is disturbing.

🦋 - describe yourself in three words

Needs To Entertain. (Or cringe fail loser, take your pick…also gay mothman truther. Do I mean I’m gay? Mothman is gay? We’re both gay? I guess we’ll never know…)

✨ - do you have any nicknames?

No! And I am envious of you who do! But as a person with only two letters in my name I have never been graced with Secondary Name

🎵- last song you listened to

The spirit of the radio - rush

🎧- headphones or earbuds

Ohhh I’m a headphones person. Need that noise cancellation and complete removal of the outside world and all the sensory distractions that includes

And dude honestly don’t you dare feel like you have to apologise for any answer you give me. I’m just delighted that you sent this/engage with me in the first place! You are braver than me, I struggle sending asks/dms regardless of if I’ve sent them before or not. People ARE intimidating and sometimes the brain is just souping. So thank you for even sending this. I hope YOU have a lovely day, a day as lovey as you are!

[snellyfish]

🏳‍🌈sayaka, mikan or hiyoko?

send me 🏳️‍🌈 and a character for my lgbt headcanon and a doodle!!!

Sayaka is bisexual and still very much in the closet, she has only been with men thus far mostly since she's worried about her career as an idol :[ One day she'll get a girlfriend, we're all rooting for you funky little bidol (bi idol)

ALSO!!!!!! Briefly considered making her trans but that might be an even bigger stretch for her career unless she's Even More in the closet u.u so take this as either cis or trans Sayaka and ask no questions because I don't have the answers--

Mikan is a lesbian!! That's it!! She's got lots of trauma with men and the majority of her life she always figured she was straight because of her incessant fawning trauma response to them and desire to please them, on top of this she was always very confused by her more,,,SOFT, less terrified-based, feelings for women. Akane helps her realize she's gay :) that is all

Hiyoko is demisexual + demiromantic + lesbian and has absolutely no time for anyone's shit. Don't even look in her direction unless you two somehow managed to form a deep bond. Good luck. Everyone thinks her bullying is a form of "flirting" when in reality she just loves to belittle men in general, she is Very Kind with those she has a crush on.

[asukaskerian]

New MadaTobi abo thing?? I am in love with Days on a Wire and can't wait to see what you think up! You also had one where they were both alphas, right?

motherFUCK i wrote you a longass reply and the site ate it. noooooooooo TT^TT

UGH well THEN.

i had an alpha/alpha one started but then i forgot to take notes and was distracted and now i don’t remember how i was planning to bring it down from outright rape to something more surviveable, so it fizzled out and is probably dead for good.

the other one’s got tobi as the alpha and madara as the omega and it’s kinda funnier and since i don’t want to retype all the thing here’s my notes! in form of a convo with @adiduck .

Asuka: 

... ok imma tell you about real fast because it's mostly porn anyway (SO FAR)

Adi, 21:31

if you want to write it and REMEMBER it then you can write it

21:31

XD nooo then i'll be like "it was good and i forgot" and torture myself

Adi, 21:32

lol fine

tell me but don't save it

it will be in the skype

you can go back for it

21:33

hahaha yes ok

it's just a -- ok so madara is out as an omega and don't give a fuck

on this mission against idk creepy bone pokey nin it doesn't matter whoops his heat starts and it disturbs his concentration and THEN he runs into tobirama who's also getting chased because those fuckers are crazy and then they're hiding in a small enclosed space while still at war with each other AWKWARD but neither one wants to kill the other one and then get bonestabbed stupidly

tobi is kinda stiffly uncomfortable because... um. distracting and madara is like fuck right i forgot he's an alpha and things progress to ok let's have you come once you'll be clear headed later and we can both escape in our separate directions. u.u

Adi, 21:37

XDDDDD

21:37

.. fingering doesn't work fast enough so tobi just OH FUCK IT and blows him XD

Adi, 21:37

hahahaha

I can see this is a very reasoned and clear-headed decision they're making

21:38

madara like. fuuuck senju tobirama actually blowing me ZING and anyway they decimate half the clan or all of it idek XD yes

(they briefly considered dicks and then tobirama was like. um. ok stuck at the crotch while getting attacked, not a good plan

Adi, 21:38

pff

yeah no

21:38

oh RIGHT yes madara was so smug/happy about coming he went and grabbed tobi's dick and was like "something to motivate you lol" and then left him like that

tobi is both furious and the horniest he's ever been

Adi, 21:39

XDDDDDDD

21:39

anyway afterwards they're both tense/wary because enemies again and heats are very often used from both sides as a distraction for assassination purposes so...

but. madara wants to finish getting laid.

tobirama would be too smart to say yes if he wasn't too horny to say no

he does mention BABIES NO and madara is like psssh i have contraceptives, i am not having MY HEIR be a half-senju

because it'd be his first baby ok

Adi, 21:41

;;

if it happens anyway he wouldn't care though, still his baby

21:42

anyway there is intense getting laid and the biggest moment is when madara has come for probably the last time he grabs the back of tobirama's neck and tobi is like SHIT IMMA DIE and... basically comes anyway and no it turns out he was just kneading. XDDDD

Adi, 21:42

d'awwwww

21:42

anyway it was quite odd but before madara leaves he jokes that he might have to kidnap him for the next time because it was good but also he's not doing that in a pile of leaves ever again

tobirama is Very Torn because alpha instincs are like yeee mate liked me i am the best he ever had yeeee. and it sounds like madara would give or at least ransom him back? but also haha ha no. that was a brief truce which is now over. nops.

Adi, 21:43

ahahahahaha and there follows a series of heats/ruts where Senju Tobirama and Uchiha Madara keep coincidentally being "kidnapped"?

21:44

probably yes XD once or twice before whoops baby

tobi is very much there cannot be baby because i never want to fight my baby so swear there will be no baby

Adi, 21:45

Madara didn't end up pregnant ON PURPOSE Tobirama jeez

21:45

madara: *has baby*

*with strongest sensor ever who is also smart powerful and handsome*

but what IF... baby.

Adi, 21:46

Tobi like...well I guess we're all gonna give peace a chance *SIIIIIIIGH

21:46

anyway yes XD

izuna is not impressed but hey

Adi, 21:46

Izuna can shut it

and hold his nibling

21:46

izuna gets a nibling.

Adi, 21:47

Izuna's life is hard

21:48

u__u

this dynamic has madara quite pleased that tobi doesn't forget he's more dangerous than he is even when they're having sex and he's still wary of him. but also too attracted to say no thanks. XD

yes pls flatter my ego more.

Adi, 21:49

XDDDD

"I for one appreciate the fact that you are absolutely terrified through this entire experience, always."

21:52

*cackles*

then he feels all benevolent when he pets him instead.

Adi, 21:52

XD

21:53

tobi like. the risk reward is NOT proportional so i'm not doing that. *in the middle of doing that*

Adi, 21:53

Tobi like "wow that would be a mistake" *starts doing it* "such a mistake, wow, so dangerous" *keeps doing it*

21:56

XDD

adrenaline is wow though

Adi, 21:57

well yes

[mixelation]

Hello, in the anime Karin said she was attracted to men based on the quality of their chakra. Sasuke's chakra used to impress her while Suigetsu's disgusted her. After Sasuke tried to kill and then abandoned her, she briefly met Naruto. She was dazzled by how bright and warm his chakra was. What would you think about a Naruto/Karin pairing.

Hello!! I occasionally get people spontaneously asking me to write this pairing, so in order not to fan the flames of whatever is going there, I want to make it clear that I have no interest in ever writing this ship. It’s just not my thing. I know you are not asking for fic, OP, but for some reason every few months I get a DM asking for NaruKarin fic and I just want to make that clear. 

That being said, I do think Karin’s comment on Naruto’s chakra is better canon basis for a ship than... most ships LMAO. On the other hand, I don’t think Karin would be very attracted to Naruto on the basis of his personality. Like, I think the IC way this would go is

Karin: Ooh~ nice chakra~ Naruto: (opens his mouth) Karin: Never mind, I hate it. 

This of course doesn’t mean the ship can’t work, just that anyone who takes on writing it is going to have to either spend a lot of time developing their relationship, or else lean on tropes to expedite them getting to together (soulmate AU, trapped-together-AU, arranged marriage, etc). These are all very fun ways to write a ship!! And I do approve of tsundere ships. :3

I haven’t really thought too much about what sort of ships suit Naruto (and he’s, you know, the main character so he’s basically a fandom bicycle anyway). His crush on Sakura indicates he doesn’t mind at all if people yell at him for being a dumbass, so Karin being mean initially isn’t necessarily a deterrent. (Although if the relationship progresses, it’s important he’s not constantly asking her out like he was with Sakura, and that Karin grows enough of a soft spot she’s not actively an asshole to him.) Teen!Naruto has the fascinating ability to both intuit people’s feeling completely and then also somehow not pick up on them at all, and Karin strikes me as someone who has a “well, you should just k n o w how I feel” attitude, which could lead to massive arguments, so I do think both of them would have to mature a bit for this ship to be a long-term thing rather than just a fling? You could do this in-text or you could just write something post-canon when they’ve both grown and had their personalities mellow out. 

The obvious connection between the two is both being Uzumaki, so if I were writing this (which, again, I will not be doing), I’d probably have them visit Uzushio’s ruins together. It’d be a fun way to isolate them together and do some cool world-building. I would approach it more like “children of a diaspora mutually longing for a connection to a culture neither of them got to grow up with,” instead of “getting to know a relative” for... obvious reasons. 

Also I would really need to see Sasuke’s reaction. u.u (Additional crack idea: Karin is a woman scorned and decides she is going to Steal Sasuke’s Man.)

[cantuscorvi]

❛   caress .  [ let Adri touch them cheekbones with her cold, cold hands u.u ]

[ 𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃  &  𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐅𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ; Nonverbal Prompts! ]

→     𝐈𝐈 .    AFFECTIONATE ❛   caress .   gently  caress  my  muse’s  face .

The touch of Adrianna’s hand was a surprise, but Raum didn’t flinch away from it. In fact, the cool sensation of her fingertips was almost welcome, despite who the touch came from.

Raum closed his eyes very briefly, the cold feeling something he enjoyed more than he dared to admit. It was a little weakness of his, constantly missing the ice and freezing temperature of his homeland. Although, all too soon the spell was broken and he tilted his head back, looking at her quizzically. 

“What brought this on?” He asked, a tiny frown appearing between his brows. “I’m accustomed to expecting a much harsher touch from you, Adrianna.”

[the-light-followed]

SOURCERY (1988) [DISC. #5; RINCEWIND #3]

“It’s vital to remember who you really are.  It’s very important.  It isn’t a good idea to rely on other people or things to do it for you, you see.  They always get it wrong.”

Rating: 7/10

Standalone Okay: Yes, but more fun with context.

Read First: Yeah.

Discworld Books Masterpost: [x]

* * * * * * * * * *

Magic!  Sourcery! Death!  The apocryphal apocalypse, the Apocralypse!  Puns!  A cowardly wizard who can’t do magic and who takes it in turns to run away from, and then toward, and then away again from danger!

Over the course of the story, Sourcery literally and figuratively rewrites reality and magic across the Disc.

Sourcery feels a lot like a second start for the Discworld series.  Much like The Colour of Magic, it introduces many of Discworld’s major locations, characters, and themes.  It even stars Rincewind, in all his cowardly, unmagical glory.  But unlike The Colour of Magic, Pratchett has locked down not just the look of the place, but also the feel of it.  The Discworld, as a setting, balances on the knife’s edge between absurdist humor and poignant sincerity, and it makes sense that it took Pratchett a couple novels to get the blend just right.  I feel like the first five books in the series mark a slow path to the Discworld that the rest of the novels will occupy comfortably, starting with the purely satirical high fantasy nonsense of The Colour of Magic, shifting through the more original concepts of Equal Rites and Mort, and finally settling in place with Sourcery.

With the arrival of Coin, the powerful Sourcerer—who unlike a wizard is a source of magic, not just able to use the stuff—the balance of magic and nature shifts, wizards and towers rise and fall, and the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions briefly push very, very close to the Discworld before they’re driven back.  

By the time the story ends, magic is revitalized and permanently changed through the arrival (and then departure) of Sourcery, and the balance of power between city-states is permanently altered.  In fact, it is strongly implied that because of these magical battles, some of these places have entirely ceased to exist.

Whoops!

We get a solid cast of characters for this one, coming together and splitting apart again for some really well-paced storylines running alongside one another.  There’s Conina (daughter of Cohen the barbarian, hairdresser by profession and warrior by genetics) and Nijel the Destroyer (son of a grocer, but he read a book about how to be a barbarian once), the Unseen University wizards (who put all their skill points into magic powers and absolutely none into common sense), the Librarian and his flock of books (the books literally fly like birds to escape a fire in the Library), Coin the Sourcerer (parented badly by the ghost of his dead father which is possessing his magical staff (no, really)), Death and the other Horsemen of the Apocralypse, etc., etc.  Even the Archchancellor’s Hat has a pretty solid role to play.

And, of course, we’ve got our main protagonist, beloved run-away wizard Rincewind.

Western media trains audiences to see and expect cowardice as a negative trait, usually given to villains, traitors, and failures.  But although Rincewind’s cowardice is as much a defining characteristic as his lack of magical ability and his misspelled hat, I see him as one of the kindest and most genuinely likeable protagonists on the Disc.  (As opposed to my other faves: Vimes can be too intense, Vetinari too terrifying, and Granny is some unholy combination of both those things.  Moist is, quite frankly, a little shit.)  

Rincewind has ‘runs away a lot, usually from things that want him dead’ as his main character flaw, sure, but I can’t honestly fault him for that. Let’s be real—it’s just a logical continuation of the all-important survival trait, which Rincewind has in spades. And at the same time, he’s also knowledgeable, sarcastically funny, kind in his own way, and totally, completely harmless.  It’s almost sweet, even, how utterly nonthreatening this man is.  Like Coin the Sourcerer says: he’s like a funny little rabbit.  How can you not love that?

I also love that Rincewind’s cowardice doesn’t stop him from doing what has to be done, even when—maybe especially when—no one else seems to be answering the call.  Despite all the infinitely more powerful wizards up in the tower with the Sourcerer, it’s Rincewind who shows up with no magic at all, just a half-brick in a sock, ready to at least try to stop the inevitable unraveling of reality and destruction of the Disc.  (I’m standing by my claim that Rincewind might be a terrible wizard, but an excellent accidental witch.  See my post on Equal Rites for the distinction.)

Anyway, in the end, it turns out that it’s not Coin that’s the real problem, it’s his staff; Rincewind immediately turns to protecting Coin, a literal child.  When he and Coin are pulled through to the Dungeon Dimension, Rincewind uses himself as a distraction so Coin can escape, even though it means he’ll be trapped there with terrible things that want him dead.  The book ends with him still trapped in the Dungeon Dimensions.

That’s not great, obviously, but one thing I really appreciate about the Discworld series is that even though bad things happen or threaten to happen all the time, you can always trust Pratchett not to be cruel for cruelty’s sake or even just for shock and awe.  Things are scary and bad, but they will turn out okay in the end. Pratchett’s not about that grimdark bullshit, and that’s a promise you can take straight to the bank.  He understands people in such a real way—none of his characters are purely good or purely evil, but on the whole, when pushed, they tend toward good.  They think. They reconsider.  They try.  Even when it seems pointless, they fight back, and Pratchett always rewards his characters—and the readers—for that.

Sourcery, a prime example of this, ends on a pretty solid cliffhanger.  Knowing as we do now that there are four more books that star Rincewind in the Discworld lineup, we as a modern audience don’t need to worry.  But in the context of 1988, where there are two full years and three full novels before Rincewind is mentioned again, we have to take Pratchett at his word, and the man really does do everything in his power to reassure us that all will be well:

“Silence drifted around the remains of a hat, heavily battered and frayed and charred around the edges, that had been placed with some ceremony in a niche in the wall.  No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat.”

The Rincewind books were actually some of the last ones I read of the Discworld, my first time around, to the point where I already trusted Pratchett not to mess with my feelings for no reason.  It’s always nice to hit a cliffhanger and know the author will give a satisfying, well-written payoff—he wouldn’t have written it as he did if he didn’t intend to go somewhere with it later.

And now, having read all the books several times over, I have the satisfaction of being certain that even though it takes him a while, Rincewind will make it back to U.U. in the end.  Any time I read one of the Rincewind books and start to feel bad for the poor bastard, I can reassure myself that despite every time he’s forced to risk his life or dragged along against his will on a wild and crazy adventure, eventually he will be given tenure at the University, and he will have the most boring job imaginable, mostly involving sorting his predecessor’s rock collection.  It’s all the man has ever dreamed of getting out of life.

As a final note, I have to sidetrack into something that makes me very excited: in Sourcery, Vetinari is finally given a name!

[Paul Kidby’s version of Vetinari from The Pratchett Portfolio.]

Admittedly, this is not the first time the Patrician appears; he’s been around since The Colour of Magic.  It’s just that he’s now officially been named, and with that naming comes more and more elements of his personality.  Unfortunately, this does not mean he’s now fully, entirely, um…Vetinari-like.  (Is there a good word to describe what, exactly, Vetinari is?  Let me know; I sure as hell can’t think of one. Machiavellian, sure, but there’s a lot more going on in there on top of that.)  He looks like Vetinari.  He’s got some very Vetinari-sounding traits.  He’s even got Wuffles, and let’s be honest, ‘unreasoning love of dogs’ is one of Vetinari’s easiest-to-nail-down personality traits.

But he also dramatically misjudges a situation with the wizards and the newly-arrived Sourcerer, Coin, to the point where he is turned into a lizard for the rest of the book.

On the one hand, this is clearly an object lesson in human-slash-wizard nature that Vetinari takes firmly to heart, because I can’t think of any time in any other Discworld novel where the man fucks up quite that badly.  One of Vetinari’s strongest traits is that he gets people, he understands them and what they want, and the reason he stays in power despite all efforts to the contrary is that he knows how to work that to his advantage.  Future Vetinari is a lot more cautious and delicate with both his demands and his threats, he pretty much always gets what he wants, and he is never again forcibly transmogrified into a small, angry reptile.  That’s character development, folks.

On the other hand, I think I’m so used to Vetinari as the all-knowing, puppeteering chess-master that he seems wildly out of character for the relatively short amount of time he shows up in Sourcery.  I don’t even think I’m entirely wrong in that, because, again, Pratchett is still figuring out Vetinari as a character at this point. He’s been around since The Colour of Magic, yes, but this is the first time we see him as a real, concrete person and not a mere device to drive the plot.  

Somehow, he doesn’t yet feel like the politician slash assassin that we’ll come to know and love.  Sure, we all know he’s secretly got a hidden sense of humor and a live-and-let-die approach to the whimsical absurdity that pretty much runs the Disc, but he doesn’t make mistakes.

By the time we get to Guards! Guards!, though, Pratchett will pretty much have him on lock.  Maybe we really just need to hold his brand of cynicism up next to Vimes’s in order to put them both in the right light.

But we’ve still got a few more books between then and now.  Next up, we return to the witches: it’s the Shakespearean-inspired Wyrd Sisters!

* * * * * * * * * *

Side Notes:

Rincewind does exactly one (1) magic in this book, and I am very proud of him for it.

Something I missed on my last readthrough: the Luggage apparently coughed up the Ottavo after a couple days.  Last I remembered, in The Light Fantastic, it had swallowed this most powerful grimoire on the Disc and showed no signs of ever giving it up.  On the one hand, there’s nowhere safer on the Disc to store a reality-warping spellbook than inside a murderous suitcase, but on the other, Rincewind and his awful luck don’t really need that sort of risk following them around on hundreds of tiny legs.

This book has a really solid message: a person has to decide for themselves who and what they are.  It repeats throughout a lot of the character arcs: Rincewind, Conina, Nigel, even Coin the Sourcerer.

Rincewind might not be great at magic, but he’s got the most common sense.  For example: it’s not Rincewind’s magical powers that make him able to fly the magic carpet.  It’s just that he’s the only one to notice that they’ve set it on the ground upside-down. I think this serves him better than actual magic would in most of his escapades.

Favorite Quotes:

“‘I meant,’ said Ipslore bitterly, ‘what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?’  Death thought about it.  CATS, he said eventually.  CATS ARE NICE.”

“It was quite impossible to describe.  Here is what it looked like.  It looked like a piano sounds shortly after being dropped down a well.  It tasted yellow, and it felt Paisley.  It smelled like the total eclipse of the moon.”

“It’s vital to remember who you really are.  It’s very important.  It isn’t a good idea to rely on other people or things to do it for you, you see. They always get it wrong.”

“They suffered from the terrible delusion that something could be done.  They seemed prepared to make the world the way they wanted it or die in the attempt, and the trouble with dying in the attempt was that you died in the attempt.”

“There are eight levels of wizardry on the Disc; after sixteen years Rincewind has failed to achieve even level one.  In fact it is considered opinion of some of his tutors that he is incapable even of achieving level zero, which most normal people are born at; to put it another way, it has been suggested that when Rincewind dies the average occult ability of the human race will actually go up by a fraction.”

“Rincewind rather enjoyed times like this.  They convinced him that he wasn’t mad because, if he was mad, that left no word at all to describe some of the people he met.”

“Despite rumor, Death isn’t cruel—merely terribly, terribly good at his job.”

“The truth isn’t easily pinned to a page.  In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap, and much more difficult to find.”

“The day had, in fact, reached that gentle point when it was too late for housebreaking and too early for burglary.”

[brightly-painted-canvas]

oohh, I just thought of Rami falling off the stage at the Oscars, and... well. Mazlek (or maybe pre-Mazlek? I love them pining for each other but being too scared to admit it), C 7, 11 and 16? Imagine poor Rami actually fell down into the orchestra pit and Joe seeing it and running down there like a bat from hell, bonus points for Joe admitting his feelings for Rami to himself and/or Rami (with reciprocation ofc) ;3

The moment Joe sees Rami falling off the stage, he bolts out of his seat and down the stairs of the Dolby Theatre so quickly he reaches the other actor faster than the security staff and the Red Cross volunteers.

Rami is being helped up by members of the orchestra and other guests: he’s apologising and blushing and almost bowing his head down shyly, but just one expert look and Joe can already tell the fall had scared him and he maybe well be in pain.

“Hey, take it easy.” he says approaching the other actor and gathering his attention to relieve him from the pressure of being surrounded by worried strangers: “Sit down, move as little as possible.” and thankfully, once Rami realises it’s him, he actually listens and sits down quietly on a front row seat.

They wait for the intervention of two nice Red Cross volunteers, who check briefly for injuries and then let poor Rami breath and try to get up on wobbly legs, still clutching his Oscar like it could provide support and comfort.If Joe wasn’t so worried he would have found the sight hilarious.

“What does it takes for you not to hurt yourself at least once a day?” he sighs once they’re alone in a corner backstage and he has Rami propped against the wall, properly able to check on him.

“Apparently not even winning the Oscar works, so cross that right out.” jokes Rami and Joe is at least relieved to hear his usual sassy tone not being affected by the pain he must be feeling.

“Where are you hurt? Shoulder? Arm? I know it’s not the ankle ‘cause you wouldn’t have let the volunteers check it if it was.” he says and they will have to talk about how self-destructing Rami’s tendencies of not trusting strangers with his healthcare are, especially being so incident-prone.

But later.

What matters now is Rami’s little groan of pain as he lifts the one hand not holding the golden statuette to touch his forehead: “Maybe I’ve hit my head on a chair.” he admits weakly and Joe is swearing loudly, immediately checking for bruises and bumps.

“You should sit down.” he adds, guiding Rami to slide and sit on the floor: “How many fingers am I holding up?” he asks, showing a peace sign in Rami’s face.

“What the…” starts the other actor, but Joe shushes him immediately: “Answer me!”

“Two! It’s fucking two, Joseph! I haven’t gone blind!” protests loudly the other: “Calm down, I’m fine! I just tripped and fell and maybe hit my head but I’m okay!” he yells and then quiets down, looking at Joe like he’s the one with a probable concussion.

“Are you okay? You’re looking very pale…” notices then Rami, as Joe shakes his head and laughs and then shifts down to sit next to the Oscar winner, sighing: “Hell no. Too many emotions for one night and I’m getting too old to keep up.” he admits.

“I’m older than you and you didn’t have to deliver that speech.” comments Rami, bumping their shoulders together.

“Well I wasn’t the one falling off the stage either, but I think I’m definitely the one going to puke…” he announces dramatically, passing one hand over his face.

Rami laughs and signals for him to get up: “Not on mine or your expensive suit, Mister. C'mon, up.” he orders: “I’ve got places to be.” he declares eventually.

Joe just lets him go and watches him leave to get his interviews done.

And if he lingers backstage instead of rushing to the aftershow party, keeping an eye on his clumsy friend, no one notices or cares.

No one except Rami, of course.

(I’m sorry anon I can’t seem to be able to hurt Rami even if in fiction! Must protect my boy u.u)(Hope you still liked it!)(Also to keep it short I had to cut the mutual pinning part and made it -kinda- established, but you may have given me ideas for future one-shots ;D Let’s see what happens!)

[sg-r03-gungnir]

I don’t generally share the things my friend and I write but.. I kind of felt like it...

o-o if you need me I will just be like.. over in this corner hiding..

thinking of the things I have done...

____                                                                                                                ____

Beau wiggled excitedly and wrapped her arms around the girl next to her. "We're here!" The whole town was decorated and stalls lined the streets, it was truly a sight to behold!

This festival was a grand once a year event that both girls-well Beau had talked about going for years, it was also a great chance to sneak away and get a look at the academy before she planned on attending. Suddenly, everyone got really loud and excited. Nika caught Beau's attention and pointed, her friend squealed. The knights and students from the academy were arriving to test their skills at the games again and in the front was the elite guard.

Among the elite was the previous champions Taryn and Kaylen, there were rumors that they had very strange magic.. ancient magic. Something only spoke of in legends... The taller of the two, Taryn, ducked down and whispered something in the other girl's ear, causing a bright blush. Kaylen shoved her laughing partner and waved as she mumbled something to her.

Though as soon as the attention was off them for just a second they were gone.

"Where did they go?! D-do you think we can meet them??" Beau turned to Nika and then looked away again to try and spot the knights.

Nika giggled, “maybe, if we’re lucky~ they’re shorter than I expected.. I don’t know why I pictured them like six feet tall..~” She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and looked around at the crowds, throngs of people cheering and laughing and yelling, and pressed just a little closer to her friend. There was a little nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that something didn’t feel right - like today was really important but she didn’t know why.

Beau tilted her head curiously, "Are you ok, Nika?" She looked down at her and frowned. "Wanna go sit down somewhere?" Something didn't feel right... The feeling over being watched washed over them for a season before vanishing.

Beau shivered and looked around. "Did you feel that?"

“The hairs on the back of your neck? Yeah..” Nika made a face. She shook her head and smiled at her, dimples in each cheek. “It’s probably nothing. Want to try one of those frozen bananas? Look they made them look like swords..~”

"Really??" Beau turned and tugged in her hand. "Oh, man those look great!!" She led Nika to the stand and paid for two little banana swords and grinned at her companion.

"Bananice~"

Beau laughed loud at her expression and yelped when someone knocked into them. "Oh sorry!" The redhead before them scratched the back of her head and laughed nervously. Her dark-haired friend rolled her eyes and smacked her shoulder, "Excuse my friend. She never looks where she is goin-um are you ok?"

Beau stared wide-eyed at them and nodded. "Y-Yeah..!!" They were there in front of her and she was holding a banana sword..!! "I um..!!" Kaylen sighed and looked up at Taryn, there was no time for this. "If we want time to ourselves we need to get gone before they find us." That caught her partner's attention and suddenly Taryn was leading Kaylen away again.

“Ah wait...!” Nika dropped Beau’s hand and ran after them, waving the banana blade. She hesitated, blushing, when they turned back and stared at her. “Ah..! It’s just, you’re kind of her heroes~ Beau was hoping we’d—“ she looked back, where had her starstruck friend gone??

Taryn looked torn, she sighed and smiled. "We can help you find her and then hang out for a little bit. The games aren't for a while anyway." Kaylen frowned a little, something was wrong but she couldn't place what it was... Moving closer to Taryn, the younger girl took her hand. "Let's go before we totally lose her. You said her name is Beau? What is yours?"

Something rumbled in the distance and the sky gained a reddish hue, a portal appeared behind Nika and released a handful of large beasts and dread knights. "And I thought it was going to be boring today..." Kaylen laughed and snatched up a sword so she could block the ax that was going to hit their new friend.

"You should get to safety."

“What.. is..” Nika was frozen, taking in the chaos in front of them like she wasn’t really seeing it - couldn’t really be seeing it. It didn’t feel real.

The clash of axe on Kaylen’s sword broke her trance. Nika screamed, “Beau— where did she go?! She was right behind me..!”

Taryn called her spear and cut down the next beast. "We will find your friend, but you need to go with those knights over there." There was no time for them to stay and talk so they ran ahead to clear the chaos. Kaylen glanced back hoping that Nika was heading for safety, "Do you think she'll be alright?"

"Of course! Khellar will make sure everyone makes it." Taryn stopped and grabbed her partner's hand, tugging her closer so she could rest their foreheads together. "Everything will work out. Just trust me Kaylen.."

*******

Beau huffed and held her sword tight, "NIKAA!!!" she dodged most of the monsters and weaved between buildings while she searched. "Where are you..?" What if something happened?! No. "No, she's fine. NIKA!" Beau growled and ignored the voice in her head, after this, she was never letting go of her hand again. *******

She’d made it halfway to the knights before realizing that she couldn’t leave Beau behind- she’d only hesitated for a moment when one of the monsters crashed into another building and her path forward was completely blocked, then her path back when she’d tried to turn around. The chaos swallowed her cries for help - the smoke and smell of blood was burning her nose. “Beau...! BEAU...! Where did you go..! Wh- ack..! Agh- where are you...!” 

A loud furious roar was cut off and something large hit the ground. Beau hooked an arm around Nika from behind, "Don't move. there is a very large beast watching us from the roof over there. Are you hurt...? I'm sorry about earlier. I tripped and you were gone..."

“Beau..!” Nika squeaked and turned into her, her chin raised and tears spilling down her face. “I shouldn’t have let go..! I just wanted to catch them b-before— I’m sorry! H-how are we going to get out of here..??”

Beau glanced up at the griffin looking monster, it was watching something else now. The girl let out a breath and hugged Nika tight. "I'll think of something.. I'm just so glad you are alright..."

The small rumble shook the ground and when Beau looked up the griffin was moving closer, she moved Nika behind her and raised the sword she was carrying. "Stay behind me..." It managed to separate them and she swore that the beast grinned before it ran at Nika. Beau screamed and darted forward, as fast as she could. The next thing she knew there was a blinding pain tearing up from her neck and across her face, soldiers were coming now. She could just barely hear them over the raging griffin. Beau groaned and she shoved Nika away when it lashed out again and grabbed her.

The soldiers watched it fly away with what they thought was a body while their captain checked Nika over. "Are you hurt??"

“BEAU!!!” Nika screamed and fought the soldier holding her shoulders back. “No..!! No!!!! Y-you have to get her back!! G-go get her back!!!”

******* This was dragging now... the spear wielder wasn't sure how much longer she could go on. Something was approaching quickly now, so with a groan, she shook the stars from her vision and looked up waiting for it to draw closer.

Taryn threw her spear up and it pierced the griffin's chest, when the beast hit the ground she realized that the girl it was clutching was still alive. Stumbling closer she smiled, "Hey... you are.. are that girl's friend..." the one they bumped into earlier. The knight dropped to her knees next to Beau and healed her the best she could. "Don't-Don't worry... I gotcha and Kaylen will get you back.."

Speak of the blue devil, Kaylen crouched next to her partner and scowled, "Stop you'll die this way... I told you not to move." There was a large piece of wood sticking out of Taryn's side, she wheezed and leaned on the girl next to her. "I know, I know.." They were closing in now, the hellspawn had them surrounded. She laughed and looked down at Beau, her reddish eyes flashed briefly and it was decided.

"I would have looked really-really good in that bright orange armor. I was looking forward to that you know?"

"Don't be silly you still have time Tary--" Kaylen's world tilted and she fell over, why couldn't she move?? "Wh..at..?" her words slurred and she was pretty sure she scowled. "Sorry.." That grin. Right now she had never hated it so much. Taryn leaned down and kissed her. "Please don't be angry with me... I love you so much but I.. I can't sit by and do nothing. I'll see you again.." Standing tall, the almost knight raised her spear and released her magic all at once.

People would say that a blinding light ripped through that whole area and eradicated the beasts that day. Kaylen would never talk about how they found holding Taryn close as she let out the most heart-wrenching wails.

____                                                                                                                ____

My sister said I couldn’t take this down ._.””

I must live with my regret.. This is merely the beginning of the story. Though it will probably remain unfinished since I can’t write by myself.. and my friend is busy U.U

[princesith]

i finished his route and i don’t wanna start another so soon, but some quick thoughts!

okita’s death was briefly alluded to once at the very end which made it all the sadder

heisuke really was the first (romanceable) one to show such kindness to protag and went so far as to let us call him by his first name within like 24 hours of knowing each other u.u

the translations of his similarities to a puppy killed me

everyone that called him a fool can suck it

i’m gonna miss his blood sucking tendencies and sexy red eyes

where tf is kodo lol

and last but not least, i love heisuke 😳🥺🥰

[westakoasta]

DJ RASCUE aka EB.F (VARIOUS BLENDS) - 2018

I recently had the chance to interview RasCue aka Eb.F from Various Blends. Ras is a DJ/ Producer/ MC from the Bay Area and has been consistently putting dope music since the early 90es.

We discussed through mail about numerous subjects, from his beginnings alongside future Hobo Junction members or Peanut Butter Wolf to his recent unreleased VB album. 

He dedicated this interview to the memory of DJ Stef. 

Enjoy.

Can you tell us about your first steps in hip hop, meeting Friz-B, Rasco, etc. The beginnings of VB?

Various Blends started in the City of San Mateo, CA. Rasco was born in Cleveland, Ohio and moved to San Mateo as a kid in the mid 70's. Friz was born in Oakland, CA and grew up in San Mateo. I was the last one to come around when my family moved to San Mateo in 1980. I was 10 years old. Friz and I lived in East San Mateo, Rasco live on the Westside or what we say "the other side of the tracks". Where Rasco lived, there was a community center that was the Martin Luther King Center, but it was known as the "King Center". There also was a Boys Club that many kids play at. I know I saw Rasco there once or twice. Although Friz was one year older than Rasco and I, kids in different neighborhoods would meet up and hangout. I met Friz in 1980, where he lived 3 blocks away from the same elementary school we went to. It wasn't ‘til 1982 middle school where I met Rasco and we were both very much into basketball.

In 1982-83, Friz had gotten JVC turntables and a Realistic Mixer. Hip-Hop & DJing were really big in the Bay Area and many kids were getting equipment. Friz and I started deejaying together and was into popping and breaking (I popped, Friz use to break). That's were the beginnings of the music started. 

Friz and I ended up going to different high schools and Rasco and I went to high school together in 1984 and became good friends. I introduced him to Friz a few years later like ‘86-87... It was in 1988 where we all came together as close friends.

What about Children Of One Destiny?

Children of One Destiny (C.O.D.) started in the Bay Area with Various Blends, Plan Bee, Saafir, Greg and Steed in 1990 but all came together in 1991. At the time, Saafir and Friz-B were living in Stockton, California, Rasco and I were living in Fresno, CA and Plan Bee, Greg and Steed lived in Oakland. It was while I was in Fresno that I recruited Eko (Poke Martian), Contack (DJ's TK and D-Rock), The Females (Keisha, Turquoise and Endurra) and Bruce the Smurf. There was also the great KO from Stockton.

C.O.D. was more of a collective of friends who loved hip-hop and not so much a crew. There weren't many recordings together (only on 4-track) or meetings or anything like that. It was just for a few years were we were all doing music, did a few shows together and just liked hanging out. It was the connections after C.O.D. that the Hobo Junction was created and Various Blends hooked up with some local Fresno kids that called themselves the "Yard Massive" then to "Skhool Yard Massive"(Chuma, Asia aka Planet Asia and Nicky aka Kemet). Charizma and Peanut Butter Wolf were never members of C.O.D., but we did a few shows together in those years. I was good friends with their manager Matt Brown and the great « Funken » Klein was signing them to the label Hollywood Basic in 1991-92.

Your first demo tape is from '91, then there's a 5-year gap between this and the « Chill As I Flex » 12'' (released in '96). What happened during that lapse?

The gap was due to us re-focusing our brand, acquiring management, a lot of studio recording and shopping for a record deal. We are moved to beginning with Friz-B moving to Fresno in '91 (Rasco in '90, myself in '88). Then in '92, I moved back to the Bay and daughter was born in May of ‘93, my only child.

By the time « Chill as I Flex » came out, we had material for at least 2 albums. Back then, it was about getting signed, which we never did, which is a shame!

After that 12'' Rasco went solo. Do you know the reasons for that choice? How did you react with Friz-B and how did it impact both your work as Various Blends?

Rasco went solo in '97 cause the group got into a argument about the group. I honestly don't remember what it was about but I think it had to do with all our commitments to the group. We split, Rasco moved back to San Mateo and was living with PB Wolf and Fanatik and Keida (Rasco, ndlr) wrote "The Unassisted" with Fanatik. Basically that whole song is about our break-up. Friz and I started recording "Levitude" in ‘97 and it came out in late '99. We had a deal through Baraka Records who were distributed by Caroline.

“Levitude” came out in '99 and is quite a classic album to a lot of heads. What are your memories from that era, the way you worked on this LP? What about the choice to put "Chill" on the LP and put Del in place of Rasco?

We had started recording 'Levitude' in '97 and it came out in '99 on Baraka. Friz knew the owner, Sasson from Brooklyn, and I knew the westcoast rep named Pete.

The first song was "Krazee Madeo Styles", which is basically about growing up in San Mateo.

Since « Chill as I Flex » was our most popular song, we wanted to include it on the album. Del was the biggest underground emcee in the Bay at the time and Friz and Del were friends, so he did it!

Various Blends had history with many different Bay Area crews and basically wanted to showcase all the homies with us on this album.

Saafir from Hobo Junction (who briefly went to Hillsdale High School in San Mateo with Rasco and I) and Friz had been recording together since the early 90's (now unreleased material) and I met Rashinel through Poke Martian (Eko -who was in C.O.D., then both were in Hobo). Peanut Butter Wolf produced a few tracks, Mystik Journeymen we know from selling tapes in Berkeley in front of records, Pismo was from a group called Burnt Batch that Friz had met from Stockton, CA, DJ Apollo and Flare we knew from Invisbl Skratch Piklz, Pam the Funkstress (R.I.P.), infamous DJ for The Coup (and ended as Prince's last DJ), who we grew up with in San Mateo/ Foster City area and Marc Stretch was from Foreign Legion.

The project was good but we left a few old songs I would have liked to be on the album.

Since you guys were from San Mateo and Stones Throw's first offices were located there, before they went to LA, was there a possibility to be signed by them at some point?

Wolf, Rasco and Fanatik all lived with each other in San Mateo. Wolf and Fanatik were from the South Bay (San Jose Area) and Rasco moved back to the Bay Area from Fresno. This was all happening shortly after VB's had split up. Wolf could have did a 12″ or LP with us but maybe the timing wasn't right and he was releasing Rasco's solo album instead. Why after that he never asked us to do a record with him, I don't know... You would have to ask him... That label owes a lot to Rasco and « The Unassisted » and neither Rasco or his music was included in the Stones Throw 20 Year Anniversary!!

I was there in Wolf's room when he decided to use the name Stones Throw (it was a cliche that his Mom would say)...

You wanna know how he got the name Peanut Butter Wolf? It was some scenario where his Mom was babysitting or something and when it was time to go to bed, a kid told him to leave the lights on cause the "Peanut Butter Wolf" was going to get him!! True story! I was there for all this stuff!

You had that tape in 97 called "Mockumentary Sampler". Was there an actual release it was suppose to be a sampler for?

The "Mockumentary" was going to be my first solo EP... Never happened...

Now about the second and unreleased album, Fanna Burn. Can you talk the general concepts about it, who's featured. And what happened with No Mayo. Why did it stay unreleased, basically.

Fanna Burn was supposed to come out in 2002 on No Mayo Records. No Mayo had put out 2 "Funky Precedent" compilations. The first one was focused on Los Angeles artists and the second on Bay Area. I had a solo song featured on the second compilation. We proceeded to schedule meetings and agreed on a album deal for Fanna Burn. The concept of the album was based on "Fanna", a word meaning 'fantasy'. We wanted to "fanna burn" meaning "burn the bullshit". The album features Rasco, J-Rawls, Marc Stretch. Planet Asia, L'Roneous, DJ Swiftrock, Rakaa Iriscience, Grand the V.I., Gen-Star, Princess, Pismo, etc...

I honestly am unclear the reason why we got dropped. I know there were some financial issues. I know that we were supposed to deejay an employee's event and that didn't happen, on the personal side of things. I am unclear if that was the scenario but Friz again would know about that. It was a while ago.

I must say I never heard of the existence of that album before somebody posted a picture of the 2xLP Instrumentals on instagram. How much copies of that 2xLP exist? Did you sold some at some point or was it promo only?

The 2xLP Instrumentals was released first so that we would have show copies. We may have pressed 100? I'm not sure... The LP was never pressed up... Just a demo sampler CD of the album mixed by Big DJ Serg.

So right now, you're looking for a label to release it, right? What' s the key factor that makes you want it to be release in 2018?

We have been looking for opportunities to collaborate on the release of our catalog of music that is just not being heard. 2018 has to be the year we at least start getting the old material out and all this new material waiting to be heard! We have Various Blends albums, Friz Solo, EBF solo, Saafir material, Plan Bee material, Friz Compilation, Rasco material Skhool Yard material and more... I have a brand new project I would like to do with Rasco, but first we want to do a 20th Anniversary tour for "Time Waits for No Man" album, which is this year.

You founded Urban Umpires in 2004. What kind of work do you do with that structure?

Urban Umpires (U.U.) is the brainchild of DJ Just Jay and Just Jay and I started Urban Umpires. We were surrounded by a massive amount of talent that were all friends and making new friends in the underground movement. It was our chance to make a contribution to hip-hop in all aspects, from radio, producers, live shows, releases, videos, studio, promotions, publicity, events, etc... We wanted to be a one stop shop for everything. It's tough to maintain such a business without investors and capital. A lot of that fell through so we weren't able to accomplish many of the goals we had set. We are all still friends though and record together.

Interview conducted by Pseudzero for Westakoasta, feb. 2018.

[mixelation]

I fell asleep yesterday watching youtube commentary/drama videos and had a dream that involved..... Edward Cullen (sparkling Twilight vampire boyfriend) and Trisha Paytas (Trisha being a big-name youtube star whose content I have never consumed but she does go out of her way to start drama with other youtubers, and so she is a major player in many videos about drama, which I do consume). 

We were all attending some sort of professional convention/workshop, the point of which was unclear to me, but did take place in a big fancy hotel in an unnamed west coast city. But I was vaguely aware that I was in a dreamworld and this affected my decision making. For example, I met Edward and was like: oh, so you’re my romantic lead?

Him: I.... I guess??

And then I was also “friends” with Trisha in the sort of way sometimes you’re “friends” with a much more popular girl in high school/at camp, where she seems to think you are very cute for a cringey nerd and she’s doing you a favor by hanging out with you. Lots of “you’d be so pretty if--” compliments. Also everyone at the workshop was really into some sort of mobile game that was similar to Pokemon Go in that it relied on you physically going to locations to accomplish tasks. 

Trisha: Hey, you know about nerd stuff, right? Me: ....yes? Trisha: Good. We are going to rock this game. 

So the dream was mostly just me, Edward (my reluctant workshop boyfriend), and Trisha (my mean girl BFF) going around and accomplishing tasks either related to the workshop or the mobile game. Things I remember:

Me freaking out of west coast ecology, which is different from east coast, and then getting mad at Edward when he was uninterested 

Me: Hey, you brought a lunch, right? Edward: Yes.  Me: Can I have it? Edward: What? Me: I mean, you’re not going to eat it, and I forgot mine.  Edward: ...yeah, alright. 

Also for some reason we went to get ridiculously-priced crepes for breakfast and I forgot my wallet and Edward showed up late.  Me: :( I couldn’t order because I have no money. :( Edward: (deep sigh, opens wallet)

I was briefly very freaked out about missing my entire bag (along with my medications and shit), until I remembered I was in a dream and all my stuff would just come back once I forgot that losing it was a plot point (and I was right u.u)

The mobile game gave out diamond jewelry as prizes (??) and at some point Edward pulled me aside and was like, “Your friend Trisha is just using you to win the silly game and get a diamond necklace or whatever, and I’m worried about you.”

Me: I know this and I appreciate your concern, but also I do not care at all about the dream-plot device prize, but I DO want to win.  Him: Welp. Okay. (Gets out his phone) I guess we’re going to cheat and get supernatural help from my family, then. 

The squirrels were really different and this was VERY EXCITING FOR ME, OKAY, and it became a meme at the workshop. 

Someone: Haha, oh look at this west coast cactus-- Me: I know you are making fun of me but Me: (shimmies down rocky hillside to look at the cactus) Edward: Look what you’ve done. She’s not going to be able to get back up on her own. 

but also I should note that whole he did not get the west coast ecology thing at all, Edward did go trudging off to look at cacti and weird birds with me, okay, it was very cute