#version of myself i don’t match up with anymore and so im like ok well wtf do i do now!!!!!!!!!!
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hellfireeddiemunson · 2 years ago
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random thoughts don’t mind me
#just been thinking abt my name a lot lately and how i sometimes just really don’t feel like i have any real attachment to it anymore like#idk it started w me hating my full first name and my childhood nickname so i started going by kat in high school and it’s stuck which is#cool and nice and much better than the two alternatives. however the further i go into my trans journey the more im like hmmmmmm don’t think#i enjoy this name anymore either ! but i cannot think of any other alternatives so i just keep using it#i just wish my name had something more masc i could turn it into but idk anything and i can’t do my middle names either bc i fucking hate#both of those names so bad bc they’re my aunts names and she’s turned out to be a shitty shit person so i don’t want to even acknowledge em#also the like. two names ive thought of that are Close to kat are like. ehhhh bc one is literally my little cousins name so….weird. and then#the other one is the name of my ex that i met on here and she turned out to be a very not great person so idk if i want that one either#but it’s a nice lil name and i am a better person (meaning i don’t be weird and try talking to MINORS) so maybe i deserve the name more—#and also i literally can’t even think of any other names that aren’t close to my name already bc i don’t think i look like anything else#that i can come up with ????? so that’s hard. idk i’m just thinking out loud#this stuff weird bc i’ve never had to think about names for myself before bc i was always fine w my name but now it just feels like an old#version of myself i don’t match up with anymore and so im like ok well wtf do i do now!!!!!!!!!!#also if anyone reads this and has advice???? answers???? suggestions???? idk just words….??? about anything said i wouldn’t mind !!!
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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years ago
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Pan? Polysexual sounds better now
Back to guys, gay girls, nonbinaries, pan, bi, gender-fluid, and queer people.
I might have to take a recap on matches who are trans for right now,
I still have a lot to learn about what my true identity is for right now.
Because I really can't stick to just one label...
Aye, that's just me. And dating apps are starting to feel like a job, there's too many people matching with me and trying to remember names is getting a lot to handle when you're on 3 different apps and about 20 conversations going at the same time. And still 99 people waiting on you to swipe right on them, on each one. And plus I'm not as picky about looks as I was before, so I'm mostly reading just bios, analyzing photos to see what could be their interests in, and making sure I'm not being too passive on red flags when people talk to you.
I will admit, I still swipe right on them if they're trans and I'm attracted to them. I just know me, I'd rather date someone who was fully transitioned or somebody who is still on the nonbinary, before part. Only because I know me.
I had to watch someone I had already grown into getting to know and getting attached to, and then when I finally got comfortable with them for over a yr, they changed that drastically during those 3months we were separate and I had no idea about it.....I'm not sure if I could watch it happen before my eyes. Cause then I would have to miss the way they were before, because of my attraction to their naturally mixed feminine/masculine looking features and actions. So, ideally I wouldn't have changed anything about them.
I don't wanna grow attached to a voice or a face or a body that will no longer be there tomorrow. I know that person before is still in there, but it's different when you're romantically attracted to them, been intimate with them vs when you're just a friend. My experience shocked and scared my paranoia and fear of change. I remember crying when my dad started growing white and grey hairs in his beard. Cause I never want my dad to change, cause I've grown up with him being this strong man that always was there for me, held me, made me feel safe, calmed me down when I had my moments, and tucked me in when I wanted to feel comfortable. He showed me that he always loved me, always cared about me, and that he was never gonna leave me. As if he's never gonna die during my time on this earth. Seeing his greyishly, white hairs, I thought death and that my daddy will soon no longer be the fun, happy, strong dad that I've always been with as his princess. And that's kind of what vibe this particular person was to me, even though they weren't as smart, strong, or always there for me....cause most of the time my nights alone cause they couldn't or didn't know I needed them to be there fo r me like that to feel loved or just to feel wanted. Cause I couldn't speak up.
But now, that they has turned into a he. I feel like its brutally denying me to chance to not only say goodbye to them as they, but I would have to get reacquainted to HE, with a totally different name, maybe different personality, maybe different sexuality, and I won't know if I like the new evolved version of this person. The fear of the unknown is high for me. Especially when there's a 40% rate of fems that decided to change their sexual orientation after taking testosterone. I 'm possessive about my partners and I would hate to know that after seeing this person physically change and go through so much emotional/mental changes that one day they decide "Hey, I think I like men now, I wanna give this a shot. Could we make this work?"
I would tell Him, to go right ahead and go on a date with that coworker or guy on Tinder/Grinder. But I'm not gonna be here when you come home. Because to me that's some bullshit. And I've known this person well enough to know, that they don't mind using other people to meet their sexual needs that I can't possibly give them due to my actual gender and my body as such. I wouldn't want to share my partner, nor watch them get fucked by another man...because I'm not a man, im a woman...theres a huuuuuugggeeee difference.
And if it ever came to that point 3 yrs later and He became someone I didn't know anymore, because of the hormones changing how they feel as a man, dysphoria gone....I get it, you've hated yourself for years and now you're happy in the dream body you always asked for. But, I would be scared to lose you, to whoever else you decide to open up to in your selections. Cause you're that type to leave to please you and not make it work. I don't want somebody who changes their mind all the time about who they wanna be, who else do they wanna smash, and who else they can flirt with. That's cheater mentality.
And I'm sorry trans community that I'm basing my recent experience with someone as the example for the rest of you. Because I know there are some ftm's who've already changed and stayed with their partners. I just don't know if I could trust this process, knowing the effects, the research on whether or not they become completely detached to women or become bisexual... I can't.
And I'm thankful for the ftm's that have been posting youtube videos and tiktoks for viewers like me who are curious about the possible cons, and physical or emotional changes they've overcome. I was shocked the first time I ever watched a bandaged ftm, who finally unrevealed their scars from top surgery. I've always been preparing myself for this. Because I knew one day, that this cute, fluffy, soft skinned, white latino looking, but really just mixed mocha, nonbinary person was gonna be...changed over a year or so. I thought I could prepare for it, so that when it does happen it doesn't hurt as much to watch to them in pain if the bleeding from the scars are irritating them or if one day they're super cranky and obnoxious for what seems to be no reason. Or if one day they end up feeling they dont need anybody like Zanthos, with the 4 avenger rings lol.
But I'm too damn fucking sensitive. I was born this way. I've always prepared myself with the worst and the best information, that way when it does happen, the tidal wave of emotions from the reaction, doesn't end up torching my soul or blowing me out the water. Cause I am gay. I adore women, men, and when I met this person I loved them as an in-betweener as nonbinary. They are so brutally harsh, twisted, manipulative, jealous, and possesive. But I've always liked that they had these emotions inside of them that they hold back because they don't wanna seem so soft, always hiding this feminine quality about them because ideally, they're pretty looking, gorgeous eyes that can turn black cold like obsidian, and those fucking cheeks and cat nose. I've only seen the slight hips, but I didn't mind it. And they've always hid their body away even when we would try to have sex. I knew the dysphoria was there, cause again I prepared myself to be patient and kind.
So, I'm glad they're turning a new leaf to make themselves feel more confident about being recognized in society as a full, grown ass man. I'm pretty sure HE, is gonna get cocky af, cause that's just the way he was when they were they.
I know it's selfish of me to say, but I'm afraid of what will happen down the line years later. But that's just me being afraid. If He ends up not liking me anymore, I know it won't be the end of the world and I walked away at the right time when I did. Because this person is currently separated from me, and I'm still insecure about that part too. Not knowing how they are during this transition for what may become years or not...I hope HE is doing okay and not piercing everyone with their new, world domination, ego.
I just don't wanna imagine them get fucked by a guy....sorry that's just me. And will their buttery ass kisses, still be as sweet anymore?
Will I be ok with HE having chest hair?
Will I love the sound of their new voice or will I just hate it, while still missing the old, brodie, sexy, slightly feminine voice?
Especially when they used to go all soft and cuddly on me over the phone, it was soooo cuteeee. I miss our phone and text conversations.
Will they grow into another relationship with somebody else because they started to become unattached and unattracted to my body, my tits, my hips, my vagina even....just because they completely changed their identity?
And I still a woman? I've only thought about wearing a binder a couple of times, and yes, I do watch ftm and trans porn because I did like the fantasy of being intimate with someone who had a bigger clit size or just having a big clit of my own that felt like a dick.
I'm willing to admit that. Because let's be honest, boys get away with so much more shit as a male, compared to us females.
I wish I could grow a dick overnight and nobody not know I'm still a chick! Lol, but I still don't like the all over hair body growth and I still want my vagina back. Like a rental suit with an actual dick and no tits. Those are the onllyyyyyyyyy things I've thought about, but would never admit out loud. Only because I still like my body and my gender identity as is. I feel like the blue girl from X-Men could get away with it, cause she can be anybody she wants to and go back to being herself at the end of the day. And still camouflage behind walls. Lucky chick. Especially if she could teleport, oh he'll yeah.
It's gonna take me awhile to get over this, so please be patient with me. As I'm trying not to cry as I watch my ftm porn get fucked by a guy. Cause I used to be heavy into it, now I feel wrong for watching it and then I'm reminded "40% chance, you're watching it" 😞🤮😫
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aharris00britney · 6 years ago
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ASKS 10
‘less weird hairs,’ pics of me, real life questions, seasons thoughts, kpop stuff, ‘are you a boy’ erhdfnv, tutorial questions, edits, ‘safe’ cc, and umm yeah never go camping in the actual woods ok
Anonymous said: Can you do Less weird hair? I Like how good Mesh You make but all styles look Really Weird I never Would use them. I just want Usual hair? Thanks you            
Firstly, thank you for the meshing compliment, but tbh I think I make pretty simple hair styles? Like I don’t do many crazy things especially recently? Idk, I hope you like some of my hairs and can find something that fits in your liking :/
Anonymous said: Hi I really love you content and I was wondering if you’d ever do a “goddess locs” hairstyle?            
Ok I am gonna be super straight forward about this, making hairstyles like this is really challenging for me. I have tried a ton of times and I just can’t get the meshes to work out the way I like. UV mapping is a pain in the ass, making the hairline match well, and making sure none of the mesh strands are broken is next to impossible for me. Most creators that make hairstyles like this do them from scratch or spend a long time working on them for them to look right. I’m not saying ‘no’ because I am going to try to play around with some seasons meshes (I have hair ideas) but no promises :(
Anonymous said: BLACKPINK COMEBACK
i know omg jennie snapped, I wasn’t planning on buying the physical album but I ended up caving in and getting the pink versions ;-; I hope I get Jennie or Lisa photocards
Anonymous said: i know your theme is by gukthemes, but what is it called?            
PAPILLON by GUKTHEMES
Anonymous said: Are you ever gonna do a face reveal?
I have posted a pic of myself before in one of these ask posts, here are three more from the past few months :P
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Anonymous said: Fav kpop group(s)???            
1). LOONA (bias Kim Lip) 2). BLACKPINK (bias Jennie) 3). RED VELVET (bias Joy) 4). CLC (bias Yeeun) 5). DREAMCATCHER (idk their names but the rapper)
Anonymous said: You play pokemon go still?
Yes! I collected cards/figures growing up and watched the show before school every morning. I’m not a ‘game’ fan but the mobile app is fun. Actually I played the Wii U Pokemon tournament game but it was boring so :/
Anonymous said: are you going to buy seasons? do you think it is worth it?
I got it from CDkeys for $25 lmao, so yes :P I can’t run the live mode so I kind of am just getting it for the new CAS assets :/ but I think the pack looks really good. Everyone always says ‘it looks like the best EP so far’ every time something new comes out so I’m not gonna say that but we will see :D
Anonymous said: whats ur skin blend called?            
Fruitpunch! You can get it here
Anonymous said: when are you going to be done camping?
I am back home now lmao I assume you sent this when I posted about not having service there :P but I was camping for 3 days? I know it was 2 nights at least refdbv also omg some camping stories:
► I didn’t have my voice for the entire trip bc I got sick with laryngitis, and now koby (the guy i shared a tent with) has it too erfdbvc
► It was blazing hot like omg I was dying, there werent showers, bathrooms, anything with AC. The tents were boiling hot, the ground fucking hurt, and it was just hell ok this isnt even a story I just need to complain.
► There was a racoon family outside the tents the first night, and we thought it was a bear bc we were literally in the middle of the woods, like it wasn’t a campsite with other people, it was the forest ;-; anyways we were legit so freaked out and up for 2 hours just listening to them walk around the tents and god it was so scary rfbdv
► As I said, I had no service so I missed the larvitar community day in pokemon go -_-
► I suck at cornhole so I was the cheer leader for a team UwU
► A deer jumped out right in front of the fucking car like RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT omg we were so close to hitting it like... it was fucking scary
► We went walking on a trail that was down a mountain and once we got down we discovered that the chairlift up was CLOSED so we had to walk back up and it was a nightmare bc we had all just drove like 30 minutes to shower in crappy no pressure no heat showers and we were all sweaty again by the time we got back to the top ;-;
dont go camping
Anonymous said: Your last edit creeps me out.
LMAO why? It isnt meant to be sexual or scary?  
@achinghearts88 said: I really love Sims 4 cc but I constantly struggle with finding safe sites and have accidentally downloaded a virus trying to get cc before so I'm kinda frightened now. What advice do you have for getting safe cc? Thanks!
Hello! I use an adfly skipper + adblock, and if both of those don’t work then I just don’t download the cc. For some creators (nolan-sims, simduction, isjao, ivo-sims, and others) I will turn them off because I know these creators aren’t ones that use the sketchy adfly stuff, but for others that I don’t know well I leave it on. I use: U Block origin and adfly skipper (both on firefox)
Anonymous said: I couldn't find a "contact me" thing but your AHarris00Britney has a broken mesh I think.            
??? idk what this means im sorry ;-; what hair are you referring to?
Anonymous said: an amazing creator and a loona fan???? i stan            
My mind... your mind... our mind..
@chocooosims said: hey, I love your cc, you are such a good creator! :) I'm not sure if someone already ask you that, but have you ever considered making a tutorial where you show us how you create maxis match hair? I mean, I know that I can already find on Internet  tutorials about frankenmeshing hair. But the thing is that you are one of the only creator who do more than simply merge 2 EA's hair together. So, I would really love to see a tutorial of how you are creating your cc! :) Thx for your time!! 
I am making a BIG tutorial right now of me making a hair from start-finish and it is around 3 hours not speed up. My guardian angel is going to edit it for me tonight and then I will try to have it posted next week sometime
Anonymous said: what university are you going to?
Radford :D it is in Virginia
Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know you're a king           
thank you lmao I wish it were true, stan loona or be beheaded
Anonymous said: r u a guy or girl or non binary etc. also are you lgbtq+ at all? not to judge, just wondering :)
uuh, I’m a gay guy lmao idk about all the other terms like cis/bianary ;-; i like the anatomy exclusive to the male body
edit: rip so someone messaged me asking what I meant by “anatomy exclusive to the male body” and I was like ?? bc I meant i like d**k, and i explained that i didn't like using cuss words on my blog bc my account got shut down/deleted/reported last year and was completely gone for two days while I emailed my butt off to get it back. Also, I was trying to be funny by sounding proper and using big terms like anatomy/exclusive instead of just saying “i like penis” bc that just isnt as fun to say imo. My anatomy teacher never used words like v*gina/p*nis and would say stuff like that, and I always found it funny and I guess that was another reason I worded it that way. Anyways if you think I was being transphobic, I apologize. I hope you don’t think that I am transphobic bc of that? If you want to message me and talk to me about how I can word stuff better then I am around 24/7 mostly, but I’m not going to fight with anyone who is just looking to argue because that is childish. I am sorry to those that got offended but I got one message about this so if something like this happens, message me like this person and ask what I meant so that it isn’t blown out of proportion. Again, I did not think that it would be taken that way and I am sorry if you felt that I was making fun of a trans person. <3
Anonymous said: What do you see in the corner of your room when you get sleep paralysis  (;            
James Charles with breasts on the beach and im not sharing this photo anymore it is demonic OK
Anonymous said: hi! i installed your non-default eye recolors but i'm having a glitch with them. my female sims lose their face in cas and it's just like an empty spot where the face should be. i have the default eyes installed too so i know it's not an issue with a missing mesh but i'm not sure how to fix it.            
Hello!! I don’t think this is my eyes because I’m not experiencing this glitch? Did you run a S4S batch fix over everything? I think that causes this glitch sometimes but I am unsure. Try repairing your game and if you have the “no EA eyelash” mod then redownload that and replace the old file.
@sephirajo said: I found your sims 4 mods and I love the hairs! They're so amazing and pretty.            
thank you so much!
Anonymous said: In your collab with wildpixel, I F**KING love the Ivy hair; do you have any recolours of it or any of the other hairs in the collab?
all the hairs in that pack are recolored in the anathema and sacharinne palette :) and I reblog all recolors of my cc over on @aharris00britneyrecolors
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My Immortal: Beauty and the Beast Version- Chapter 2
Chapter 2:
Summary:
More insanity ensues, prepz and byythches!
AN: Stop flaming! if u flam it menz u a prep or a poser! Da only reason the Beast swor is cuz he had a hedache ok on top of dat he was mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im not updating umtil I get 5 good revoiws!
The Beast made Gaston and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.
"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.
I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Gaston comforted me. When we went back to the castle the Beast took us to a clock named Cogsworth and a teapot named Mrs. Potts both who were both looking very angry.
"They were having homosexual relations in MY FOREST!" he yelled in a furious voice.
"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Clocksworth.
"How dare you?" demanded Mrs. Teapot. "In front of the children?" She covered her teacup grandson's eyes. (sorry, her son)
And then Gaston shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!"
Everyone was quiet. The Beast and Mrs. Teapot looked mad but Clocksworth said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up and find rooms."
We went in and a sexxy candleabrum named Loomiere yelled out to us. "BE OUR GUEST!"
"Gaston, have you considered the idea that this castle may be goffik and haunted?" I asked him.
"Don't lose your nerve, LeFou. Can't you see that it is, mon amour? It is as beautiful and goffik as ME." Gaston said.
And my boyfriend was right! The castle was dark and goffik! And so romantic because Gaston was there with me.
We went upstairs while the talking objects glared at us.
"Are you okay, LeFou?"
"Yeah. I guess," I lied. I went to a fancy bedroom and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a long, black, frock coat 1700's style with red lace all around it and black high heel boots to make me look taller. When I came out...
Gaston was standing in front of the bathroom, and he was singing 'I just wanna live' by Gentille Charlotte. I was so flattered. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said good night and he reluctantly went back to his room.
AN: shjt up prepz ok? PS I wnot update ubtil u gibe me goood revows!
The next day I woke up in the fancy castle bedroom. I put on black breeches that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all around it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray painted my hair with purple.
(Madame de Goffik Garderobe the famous singer lived here and she helped me get all these kewl accessories! Stanley u jealous huh?)
In the great hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk-
(AN: NO, I won't- I can't do that to LeFou! I love my gay son. I will not have him drinking this much blood.)
I had milk with cereal and a glass of more milk to help me grow tall and strong like Gaston. Suddenly someone bumped into me. And all the milk spilled over my top.
"You bastard!" I shouted angrily.
I regretted saying it when I looked up because I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with long blonde hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He was wearing red contact lenses just like Gaston's. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Dan Stevens. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only-yeah I'm a man so maybe I did, shuddup that's private you sicko.
"I'm so sorry," he said in a shy voice.
"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.
"My name's Prince Adam, though most call me Beast these days," he grumbled.
"Why?" I exclaimed.
He looked nervous for a second, then I think he started to make up a lie. I'm not a fool. He may, in fact, be that Beast who invited us here and he transforms back and forth, but let's just pretend I'm stupid and I don't know.
"Because I like the taste of Vampire blood." he giggled.
"Well I am a werewolf." I confessed.
"Really?" he whimpered.
"Yeah." I howled. Then, Adam growled sexily.
We sat down to talk for a while. Then Gaston came up behind me and said he had a surprise for me and so I went away with him.
Gaston and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs.
I waved to Beasty. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Gaston. Anyway I went upstairs excitedly with Gaston. We went into his room and locked the door. Then...
We started frenching passively (because we're Frenchmen, u dumb preps!) and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took off my breeches. I took off my black leather top and he took off his tight breeches. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in (censored) and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)
"Oh, Gaston, Gaston!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Gaston's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words...Vampire!
I was so angry.
"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.
"No! No! But you don't understand!" Gaston pleaded. But I knew too much.
"No, you frcking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"
I put on my clothes all huffily and then I stomped out. Gaston ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Beasty's classroom where he was having a lesson with Clocksworth and some other people.
"BEASTY ADAM, YOU MOTHERFCKER!" I yelled.
AN: stop flassing ok? if u do den ur a prep!
Everyone in the class stared at me and then Gaston came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.
"LeFou, it's not what you think!" Gaston screamed sadly.
My friend, B'loody Beauty Belle, smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic brown-with-red-streaks hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born-
(wait- I meant Belle not Hermione! They both look like Emma Watson so dont judg me 4 beeing confuzzed u dum prepz!)
Her real parents are vampires, but Voldebeast (who is the Undead Father of Beasty) killed her mother by causing her to have the same disease his wife (Adam's Maman) died of.
She still has nightmares about her mother dying when she was a baby and she is very haunted and depressed.
"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Clocksworth demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.
"Beasty, I can't believe you cheated on me with Gaston!" I shouted at him. Everyone gasped.
B'loody Belle started to cry tears of blood and despair, because Beasty is her boyfriend.
{GASTON'S POV:} "I don't know why LeFou was so mad at me. I had went out with Beasty for a while (he's bi in case you haven't figured that out) but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Belle when she was a stupid preppy fcker before she turned kewl and goffik and became known as B'loody Beauty Belle. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was extremely gothic because he kept transforming back and forth between a hairy Beasty and that preppy fcker Prince Adam. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)" {END OF GASTON'S POV, BACK TO LEFOU'S}
"But I'm not going out with Gaston anymore!" said Beasty.
"Yeah, fcking right!" Fck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into Beasty's wolf-infested forest where I lost my virility to Gaston and then I started to bust into tears.
AN: Stop flaming ok! I dntn wach da hole Disney movie! itz nut my folt if the Beast swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson clock doesn't lik adam is coz he's christian and beasty is a setanist! MCR ROX!
I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Gaston for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Gaston.
Then, all of a suddenly, an horrible Beast (not Beasty cuz he's all cute and furry) with red eyes and no nose started flying towards me! He didn't have a nose (basicaly like Voldebeast in the movie-oh wait we hardly saw Adam's evil father 'cept in a song flashback can't remember if he had a nose then but this is what he transformed into after his Death as an Undead, u preps!) He had all black fur but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was...Voldebeast!
"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldebeast shouted "Impérieux!" and I couldn't run away.
"Courbé-Shanks!" I shouted at him. Voldebeast fell off his flying candlestick and started to scream. I felt bad for him (because I'm LeFou and I have a heart) so I stopped.
"LeFou." he yelled. "Thou must kill Beasty Adam!"
I thought about Beasty with his sexah blue eyes and his gothic blonde with red-streaks hair and how his face looks like Dan Stevens. I remembered that Gaston had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Gaston went out with Beasty before I went out with him and they broke up?
"No, Voldebeast!" I shouted back.
Voldebeast gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged. "I don't know how to shoot a gun! Gaston is the best hunter! He never misses a shot, I'm merely his hunting assistant, you see!"
"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Gaston!"
Mon Dieu! I hated myself for mentioning Gaston. I can't help it. I talk about him all the time because I love him and I can't go an hour without saying his name.
I wanted to cry more depressed tears in front of this monster, but I am not weak. I'm frcking LeFou! I showed him my sassy side by sticking out my middle finger and flipping him the bird.
"It's never gonna happen! Besides, I could probably assume that he's sneaking up on you right this moment. Most likely, he is aiming for your LIVER!" I exclaimed bravely.
Voldebeast got a dude-ur-so-pathetic look on his face. (It was exactly like the face his son Adam made in the movie when he saw the old hag Agathe in the castle.) "If you doth not kill Beasty, then thou know what will happen to Gaston!" he shouted. Then he flew away angry on his flying candlestick.
I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Gaston came into the woods. (I was right. He was aiming for his liver, but the monster flew away too fast.)
"Gaston!" I said. "You almost got him!" I said, to bolster his ego.
"Hi!" he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner and looked kind of like a pentagram (geddit?) between Dan Stevens in the movie and Luke Evans.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"No." he answered.
"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me," I expelled.
That's okay, he said all depressed and we went back to his school called Porc-Verrues, making out.
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