#verse. ( i am too young to have these scars. ( spy verse. ) )

[dccontramundum]

PRE-CANON VERSES

pre-university verse

verse. ( what is home if not the first place you learn to run from? ( pre university verse. ) )

covers all of morse’s childhood and teenage years until he goes to university. interactions in this verse come with an automatic trigger warning for parental death, emotional abuse, and suicide. there are several variations of this verse — more information here.

university verse

verse. ( i am a museum of things i want to forget. ( university verse. ) )

covers morse’s years at oxford university. he studies greats. canonically includes his engagement and subsequent heartbreak, but i’m willing to do aus of this verse if people would like to do university aus. 

cipher clerk verse

verse. ( but no one will ever caress me like this loss. ( cipher clerk verse. ) )

covers morse’s time working as a cipher clerk after dropping out of university. 

early career verse 

verse. ( linger like a softly uttered curse. ( early career verse. ) )

covers morse’s two years in uniform and then his time as a detective constable prior to meeting thursday. 

MAIN VERSES

main verse. ( what i must learn to live with. ( unspecified. ) )

main verse one. ( if memory didn’t blur you wouldn’t have the fool’s courage. ( series one & two. ) ) 

main verse two. ( the damage they could do and the damage they could find. ( series three & four. ) )

main verse three. ( this skin is tainted by wasted days. ( series five onwards. ) )

CANON-DIVERGENT AND AU VERSES

snappy jenkins verse

verse. ( all that blood was never once beautiful. it was always just red. ( snappy jenkins verse. ) ) 

crime-solving photographer morse verse. doesn’t gives his real name. mails photos to police along with his ( often correct ) theories. 

modern verse

verse. ( forever chained to myself. ( modern verse. ) )

general modern verse. 

magical realism verse

verse. ( i who was winged from childhood. ( magical realism verse. ) )

covers any magical realism verse. 

royalty verse

verse. ( like any unloved thing. ( royalty verse. ) )

covers any royalty verse.

bodyguard verse

verse. ( lovely eyed and death touched. ( bodyguard verse. ) )

covers any verse in which morse is working as someone’s bodyguard. more information here.

musician verse

verse. ( i am sick of haunting myself from within like an old house. ( musician verse. ) )

singer songwriter morse. bit of a disaster, but just about getting by.

spy verse

verse. ( i am too young to have these scars. ( spy verse. ) ) 

morse was scouted either in university or early in his police career ( thread/plot dependent ). this verse is open to plotting for development! 

poet verse

verse. ( everything i’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it. ( poet verse. ) ) 

series three au. morse lets go of his police career after the events of the series two finale ( for understandable and spoiler-filled reasons, but you can ask me if you want to know them ). becomes a poet. 

[likeadevils]

what songs from TTPD and TA are now yours? Which ones have spoken to you the most?

songs that are genuinely MINE

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: i cried myself to sleep listening to this song on repeat on release night and for the life of me i cant tell you why. i think it’s a great example of her being older really deepening her writing— just that old scarred over longing of a possible life, a possible love, too far away to reach but close enough to brush past. also, the double edged sword of “if you want to break my cold, cold heart, just say’ i loved you the way that you were’”— you loved me before i’d twisted myself into the shape i am now in order to keep my current partner, but also, you loved me the way i was, not the way i am now

i look in peoples windows: i wrote a poem with the line “im afflicted by the not knowing” in it!! inspired by the outside!! and by spending so much of my childhood reading by moonlight and spying on my neighbors through their windows!!! it was called where midnight lives!!! what the fuck!!!

robin: another song i sobbed hysterically to. i was a strange little violent child obsessed with dinosaurs it feels like a lullaby someone made specifically about 3 year old me.

songs that i’m obsessed with:

but daddy i love him: the bridge is just so fun to scream along to. everytime ive been in a car since the album came out ive played this at least two times just cause

fresh out the slammer: it’s just. the first verse??? the way the song stutters apart for the last verse??? this song takes the blurry muse conceit of the album and uses it to its fullest. also just the diminishing returns from “but its gonna be alright, i did my time”

i can do it with a broken heart: my first listen favorite

the smallest man who ever lived: the bridge????? the bridge???? the bridge???? a few of the negative reviews specifically mentioned this song as boring and for a millisecond i was so angry i could’ve exploded

the black dog: this is like, the platonic ideal of a taylor swift song to me. just that old quiet tragedy she can build out of little moments of hoping your ex will remember you when they hear your favorite song or not having known your last kiss was your last kiss or your ex still sharing their location with you. like, it’s just her at her best, but with the maturity to sing “and you jump up, but she’s too young to know this song”

i hate it here: people have talked about seeing reputation in the anthology but i think you can also see so much debut and it makes me feel so tender. also i genuinely don’t understand why people don’t like “if chose the 1830s but without all the racists” like?? it’s supposed to be a bit clunky?? the songs about the limits of escapism?? the line enhances both of those themes?? also “i’m there most of the year” is such a funny devastating relatable lyric to say about a daydream

thank you aimee: it’s not every day a song inspires you to send this message about something a child did to you (fuck you madeline!!! fuck you jessie!!!)

the bolter: avoidant attachment representation!!! i love that it takes the stuff she hated about herself in the archer and just accepts and loves them and appreciates what they’ve given her. i especially love it because bolt can mean like, crossbow bolts, so it’s a flip on the archer. also “bolt” is one of my favorite words i love all the different meanings

“the only thing that’s left is the manuscript, one less souvenir from my trip to your shores, now and then i re-read the manuscript, but the story isnt mine anymore” also just had me sobbing. there’s just. wtf!!!!!!

[doitforthecharacterarc]

Writeblr Intro

Hello! I'm new to Tumblr so I don't quite know what I'm doing but I love the writing community here and I wanna join in!

My name's Toth, I'm agender and use they/them and xae/xaer pronouns. I tend to write low fantasy / cross-world fantasy, as well as short stories to go alongside the longer work(s) I'm writing and short poems sometimes having to do with the stories as well.

I adore worldbuilding and characterbuilding. I do too much of it myself and would love to help people do it for their own stories, so please feel free to message me if ur stuck on a bit of worldbuilding and want help figuring it out!

Current Wips:

The Sun, the Moon and the Blinding Night

Follows the story of a young hero, Arryn Dames, in an urban low-fantasy world, sent on assignment to spy on the two most powerful supervillains of the modern world. Not everything is all that it seems with the villains, though, and as Arryn races the clock to figure out what's true and what's an elaborate lie, they discover something that flips their entire worldview upside-down.

This one's super undeveloped atm, I have the plot points and outline but I haven't focused on writing the story itself enough.

The Solstice Collection

A collection of disconnected stories following the villains from Blinding Night; their stories, backgrounds, interactions, relationships, etc. It is formatted in a chronological order but is separated into short stories following specific events.

Examples:

The Days-Makza Case: The reports of a policeman on two teens (Zenith and Nadir) who are running away from their abusive family.

Manhattan's Day: Foolish and overconfident heroes intercept a heist. They capture two of the villains, and in an attempt to subdue them, accidentally trigger an atomic-level explosion. This story also deals with some heavy emotional fallout from this accident, as the two were in a relationship with each other and a third person (Nadir) who now has to cope with xaer partners being dead.

The Incident: Details an accident involving Zenith and way too much snow which left permanent scars on everyone involved, in the physical, invisible, and mental senses. Heavy TW's for a smidge of insanity, death (not permanent), triggers triggered and massive ammounts of PTSD. :)

The Eukaeda Chronicles:

In a different universe but with some of the same characters as Blinding Night, Zenith acts as a lonely guide to lost and troubled souls, helping them find a bit of peace before they return to their world.

This was my first WIP, and while I don't like to say it, it's practically abandoned at this point. If it ever gets picked back up, it'll be roleplayed D&D style.

Worlds Built:

Blinding Night-Verse

An urban low-fantasy world. About 1/10 of the population has some sort of superpower (I made a list of approx. 175, suggestions welcome). There are three sentient species: Humans, Dragon(born)s, and Merfolk. I am in the process of creating two languages, for the Dragons and Mer. Each has their own culture, instincts, and histories, which I have mapped out for the Dragons and am working on for the Mer.

Eukaeda

While both Blinding Night and the Eukaeda Chronicles have a "Eukaeda," this specificly is referring to the universe Eukaeda in the Eukaeda Chronicles. Eukaeda, meaning "Elsewhere," is a place, inhabited solely by one dragonborn, where the souls of lost, hopeless, and troubled people are temporarily transported, in order to give themselves a rest while they figure out what they need to do when they go home. This is based off the Minecraft world, with some changes such as the Dragonborn Guides and their culture, and the Creator Gods of the universe.

TL;DR I have too may ideas and I don't write them down enough :)

[anchormain]

        general verses list! tagging as wishlist bc i wanna do some interactions in different verses. i’ll make a separate list of individual ship verses. if you’re interested in any of these lmk!

    CANON TIMELINE VERSES

PRE-UNIVERSITY VERSE

        verse. ( what is home if not the first place you learn to run from? ( pre-university verse. ) )

covers all of morse’s childhood and teenage years until he goes to university. interactions in this verse come with an automatic trigger warning for parental death, emotional abuse, and suicide. 

UNIVERSITY VERSE

         verse. ( i am a museum of things i want to forget. ( university verse. ) )

covers morse’s years at oxford university. he studies greats. canonically includes his engagement and subsequent heartbreak, but i’m willing to do aus of this verse if people would like to do university aus. 

CIPHER CLERK VERSE

        verse. ( but no one will ever caress me like this loss. ( cipher clerk verse. ) )

covers morse’s time working as a cipher clerk after dropping out of university. 

EARLY CAREER VERSE 

        verse. ( linger like a softly uttered curse. ( early career verse. ) )

covers morse’s two years in uniform and then his time as a detective constable prior to meeting thursday. 

MAIN VERSES

        main verse. ( what i must learn to live with. ( unspecified. ) )

        main verse one. ( if memory didn’t blur you wouldn’t have the fool’s courage. ( series one & two. ) ) 

        main verse two. ( the damage they could do and the damage they could find. ( series three & four. ) )

        CANON-DIVERGENT AND AU VERSES

SNAPPY JENKINS VERSE 

        verse. ( all that blood was never once beautiful. it was always just red. ( snappy jenkins verse. ) ) 

crime-solving photographer morse verse. doesn’t gives his real name. mails photos to police along with his ( often correct ) theories. 

MODERN VERSE

        verse. ( forever chained to myself. ( modern verse. ) )

general modern verse. 

MAGICAL REALISM VERSE

        verse. ( i who was winged from childhood. ( magical realism verse. ) )

covers any magical realism verse. 

ROYALTY VERSE

        verse. ( like any unloved thing. ( royalty verse. ) )

covers any royalty verse. 

MUSICIAN VERSE

        verse. ( i am sick of haunting myself from within like an old house. ( musician verse. ) )

singer songwriter morse. bit of a disaster, but just about getting by.

SPY VERSE 

        verse. ( i am too young to have these scars. ( spy verse. ) ) 

morse was scouted either in university or early in his police career ( thread/plot dependent ). this verse is open to plotting for development! 

POET VERSE

        verse. ( everything i’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it. ( poet verse. ) ) 

series three au. morse lets go of his police career after the events of the series two finale ( for understandable and spoiler-filled reasons, but you can ask me if you want to know them ). becomes a poet. 

[emerald-amidst-gold]

A little exercise (Part 1/?)

(I’m trying out a new process to help me with my writing and to get me out of the block I’m currently in. I find that analyzing preexisting personalities and ones of my own devising help me better understand how characters will interact in my writing. So, I started small and outlined some of Fane’s major relationships. I’m eventually going to go down the whole list from family to Inquisition members, but right now, I just focused on family.)

Relationships:

“Friendships are like roses; you tend to their delicate petals, nurture their roots, and provide them with water, sunshine, and fertile soil to keep them satisfied, all so they may flourish with life and love. But what happens when the rose bush flowers from an innocent bud to a crimson bloom, bringing thorns in its wake? You bleed, you hurt, and you regret ever planting the seeds. So, do I desire a literal garden of people with thorns as sharp as glass? Not at all.”- Fane Lavellan regarding companionship

Clan Lavellan:

“Fane is brash, volatile, and temperamental at the best of times, Spymaster. You do not wish to see him at his worst. Many of our clan and the outlying forests have been met with his ire. Even so, he is not a bad child. None of his actions are vindictive or of ill intentions. Fane is simply misunderstood, like so many others. So, if you must demand more of him, then you must tread lightly. That is my advice to you and your Inquisition.” - an excerpt from a letter from Keeper Deshanna sent to Haven after the explosion at the Conclave regarding Fane’s demeanor

Fane is exceedingly slow to warm up to people, even with those of his own kind. Among Clan Lavellan, Fane was seen as an anomaly; his two toned eyes and stark white hair breeding fear and wariness in his clan members, as well as his unusual physique. What’s more, many of the clan avoided him for fear of triggering his volatile rage which, when at its peak, would render aravels or trees completely obliterated. So, as far as friends go, Fane never had many among his clan; only communicating with his sister, and at times, the Keeper. Fane’s disinterest in cultivating relationships also stems from his desire to keep the evidence of his father’s abuse away from prying eyes and ears. This did not stop him from attempting to bridge the gap between him and his people, however. At a young age, Fane proved to be an adept hunter; stealthy and graceful despite his hulking frame. Sadly, his effectiveness to provide did not win the hearts of his clan, since many of Fane’s methods were unorthodox to the Dalish. When such a simple attempt was ineffective, Fane took one last step to try and wedge himself into belonging; his vallaslin. Despite not believing in any of the elven gods (another pit that distanced him from the Dalish, as Fane is and was not shy to voice his opinions regarding them), Fane opted to have the vallaslin of Sylaise tattooed onto his face at the age of sixteen; only a year after his father’s magical experiments on his body began. Once again, this did not do what Fane had hoped for, since the ritual and implementation of the tattoos barely registered a flinch or grimace from the elf; his mind and body already so scarred and traumatized by the use of magic and physical tools that Fane merely viewed the sacred act as another experiment in which his father’s rules of “No crying, no screaming, no telling anyone” played on repeat within his head. Due to that stoicism, his clansmen simply began to view him as unfeeling and cold, some going so far as to call him a ‘snowy haired demon’. From that point on, Fane severed all association with his clan, and attempts to win favor were replaced with complete indifference. Interactions were kept to scouting missions and group hunts, and such things like gatherings or holidays, Fane spent either alone within the forest or with his sister. It may have been this rift of association that spurred the Keeper into choosing Fane for the mission to spy on the Conclave, or perhaps it was a way to help both Fane and the clan from anymore turmoil. However, when the explosion at the Conclave completely shifts his small world on its axis, Fane is more or less forced to traverse a battlefield in which he is outnumbered in both strength and personalities.

Mhairi Lavellan (Sister):

“First mother, then father..I can’t lose you, too, brother. I have no one else besides you for family.”

“Hmph, don’t be so dramatic, My. Even if something were to happen to me, the clan would still be here for you. The clan’s your family as much as I am.”

“The clan is your family, too, brother. Why do you think they don’t care for you like I do?”

“Because they don’t. I’m a monster, remember? They’re all probably breathing a sigh of relief that I’m leaving.”

“Would you stop that?! You’re one of the people just like any of the others! More than that, you’re my brother! So, don’t talk as if you’re nothing. You are everything to me, Fane. Everything and more.” - a conversation between Mhairi and Fane before he leaves for the Conclave.

Mhairi and Fane’s relationship is much like any siblings; occasional bickering, unconditional love, and patience with each other’s oddities. However, unlike most siblings, whose likeness of personalities tends to breed contempt, Fane and Mhairi are, by all means, anathema to each other. Oil and water. Fire and ice. The sun and moon. All these things describe the two’s odd relationship. Fane, while holding a deep well of his love for his sister, has difficulty showing such platonic feelings, opting for simply watching Mhairi with an attentive eye and merely giving stern guidance to the younger when necessary. Whereas Mhairi is more bubbly and easygoing, wishing to help her brother bridge the gap that he had created with the clan and constantly reasserting to him that he is loved and cherished. Such attempts at reconciliation have only thus far vexed Fane, but the message from his sister is not lost, even if he does not outwardly show it. However, like with the rest of the clan, Fane has kept the actions of their father a secret from Mhairi; the only secret he has ever kept from his sister (besides the information of him being a dragon. Fane himself is unaware of his heritage until after Adamant. Even after he understands this information, he does not tell her until at least around the time of the Exalted Council.). Fane has gone to great lengths to keep the brutal past of his abuse from his sister. Such actions include: hiding his acute sensitivity to magic, which is the hardest since Mhairi is a mage, his night terrors that leave him sweating and hyperventilating in the morning, avoiding any and all physical contact from his sister or others since his body still harbors phantasmal pains from the abuse, and dismissing any questions or concerns from his sister when she zeroes in on his pain. Despite these actions on his part, Fane still gives in to his sister if she is particularly persistent or if she is on the verge of tears. In these moments, Fane will endure the pain on his body for a light hug or give a vague response to a question of concern. In conjunction, Mhairi is always trying to find ways to bring back the person her brother was before the experiments began, much to Fane’s dismay. She will oftentimes gift him with sentimental items such as; flowers (primarily Gladiolus since it is a flower the two have an emotional attachment to), handmade pendants, a history book (knowing that he is secretly curious of outside society), and his favorite foods (mainly chocolates). All attempts are usually met with soft refusal or awkward shuffling on Fane’s part, but internally, the misunderstood elf screams with joy every time such a thing is bestowed upon him by his sister. 

Eloris Lavellan (Mother):

“Cerulean eyes like the deep lakes in the forest. Sunlight glistening off of golden strands like wheat. Shimmering, rippling across the surface with gentle strokes. Calm and patient even when I’d yell. Never scolding. Never hating. Her words hang upon my mind like her hand when she would guide my own across the page. ‘A summer breeze. A winter’s gale. All things are natural if you allow them to unveil.’ Her words. Her lesson. ..You were angry?”

“Yes, I was. I can’t even remember why now. But, she told me it was nothing to be ashamed of. She said all emotions were natural just like the wind and trees. I just had to..let them out.”

“Who was she?”

“..My mother, and that is all I’m saying about it.” - a discussion between Fane and Cole about Fane’s mother. 

Fane’s memory of the relationship with his mother, Eloris, is one of the few things he cherishes, and is one of many things he does not openly share, even with Mhairi. Before she died of a wasting disease when Fane was fifteen, Eloris guided Fane throughout his earlier years, teaching him how to write in both the common tongue and elven, as well as speak and read. Fane describes her as ‘the gentlest soul upon a fragile landscape’ since never once did she harshly scold him or yell in anger at his prickly demeanor, which Fane had even as a child. Instead, Eloris taught Fane the wrongness of his actions with poetry. After outbursts or moments of frustration, Eloris would sit with Fane under a tree or in a clearing, and simply read to him, recounting tales and lessons through elegant scripture. Such a technique had oddly proved effective, calming Fane and cementing delicate lessons of patience and open mindedness, that to this day, while slightly more difficult for him to keep, still connect him with his deceased mother. These tiny memories of his mother’s poetry were something that helped Fane through much of his father’s abuse. So much so, that Fane himself began writing and collecting different forms of poetry after his father’s disappearance, and throughout his time with the Inquisition. This odd fixation also reflects in Fane’s way of speaking, and sometimes his versed tongue has to be deciphered by someone more familiar with him or those who understand cryptic dialogue. At times, it even causes him frustration. Even so, Fane keeps the memory of his mother with him wherever he goes, and secretly endeavors to keep the promise that he made to her. The promise to protect their family, no matter the cost.

(I’m still working on Fane’s father, so he might be the last one I touch on in the list. Anyways, this is just a little exercise to finally cement Fane’s overall character. All of the dialogue is just stuff I thought up on the fly, so take it with a grain of salt in reference to canon.)

[mei-rin-blossoms]

♥️ ♣️ Send a playing card to my ask box! ♦️ ♠️ @ask-zhang-qing

A♥️ - Who was the first person your muse ever fell in love with?

Canonically? Sebastian Michaelis. But during out adventure here, on tumblr?  I don’t even remember. My goodness, it’s been 7 years! I have never thought I’d stay here for half this time!

2♥️ - What’s your muse’s family like?

This depends on the verse and on the thread. Usually, since her family is dead, the only family she has is her friends. But yeah - in modern verse, she sometimes does have her father, who is simply abusive.

3♥️ - How would your muse react to a confession of love?

Blush. Maybe even faint. She is not used to hearing that someone likes her, let alone feel anything more.

4♥️ - What are your muse’s thoughts on starting/raising a family?

Mei-Rin is in a true need of a family. Although she has been an assassin, she’s soft at heart, and really wishes to find someone with whom she could spend her life with, and who would be the father of her children.

5♥️ - What was your muse’s most heartbreaking separation/divorce/etc?

Canonically none. During the 7 years of my rping here, I guess it’d be the break-up she had with @darklyevermore ‘s Alan, or maybe when @bone-biscuits-and-marmite ‘s Undertaker left her when she was expecting.

6♥️ - What sort of charity work has your muse done?

None; though, when she sees someone in need, she tries to share whatever she has. Still, she’s quite poor.

7♥️ - Has your muse ever cheated or been cheated on?

She is not quite the person who would cheat, and I cannot really remember any thread in which she would be cheated on.

8♥️ - How well does your muse perform in social situations?

Honestly? She’s just as socially awkward as I am. Therefore, she’s simply terrible. She’ll faint, stutter, maybe even run away.

9♥️ - Has your muse ever had unrequited feelings for someone?

Yes. Usually it is this way. Canonically, it’s Sebastian, but there have been some threads in which she was in love with people who did not love her back.

10♥️ - What was the last party or social event your muse went to?

Uh... I can’t really remember? She’s not the party person, and she’ll rather stay away from these kinds of things. Though, if I recall it well, it was a masquerade.

J♥️ - Who does your muse consider their best friend?

Finny and Bard, and she won’t ever be made to choose just one of them. They are her brothers.

Q♥️ - Who is someone special that your muse always thinks about?

Canonically, there are a couple of such people, starting with her young Master, through Sebastian, and ending with her fellow servants. As in rp, I think this person is @a-murder-of-muses ‘s Ryat. Just because they have known each other for a long time. Like, really long.

K♥️ - Who does your muse look up to as a role model?

Sebastian. He’s the perfect servant, and she wishes she could be one, too.

A♣️ - What’s your muse’s strongest talent?

One would say, her perfect aim. I say, her devotion and unconditional love. If she loves, she loves forever, and no matter what. And this is a kind of talent.

2♣️ - What topics of conversation does your muse enjoy the most?

Every. Sometimes she needs to talk about idle little things, like books. Sometimes she needs to talk about life. It depends on the situation.

3♣️ - How creative is your muse?

Not really creative. I think she’s mainly too scared to accept her own creativity, and therefore, she won’t develop it.

4♣️ - What does your muse have the most passion for?

I think books. She loves reading (even though she mainly reads romance books), and if she was given a day off, she would most probably spend it lying in the garden full of flowers and reading.

5♣️ - What would your muse change about their current lifestyle?

Probably she would wish that it was not necessary for her to kill anyone ever again. She would wish to be just a maid, and nothing more - as long, of course, as her young Master is happy.

6♣️ - How do your muse’s “gut feelings” usually turn out?

Mei is not the best at forecasting. Sometimes she’s scared something will happen, and it turns out to be completely untrue - but she’s mainly afraid that it she has hopes everything will be all right, she will be deeply disappointed.

7♣️ - Has your muse ever felt “trapped”, either figuratively or literally?

Yes. For the great part of her life, she has been trapped, doing a job she has never wanted to do. Now, she’s trapped by her own mind and memories, from which she cannot escape, and she doubts she ever will be able to live a free life.

8♣️ - What is your muse the most stubborn about?

She. Won’t. Have. Anyone. Take. Care. Of. Her.

Like, she’s a strong and independent woman! Well, of course she’s not, and she needs lots of help, but she hates to admit that, and she’ll need to get really comfortable with someone before she lets them take care of her. 

9♣️ - What is your muse’s proudest accomplishment?

The fact that she’s more and more competent as a maid. That no longer does she break everything, and sometimes she is almost good.

10♣️ - When was the last time your muse took a vacation or trip?

She hasn’t had a vacation in a long time. But, if you can say it was a trip, she went on a spying mission with Lan Mao.

J♣️ - Who does your muse trust the most?

Bard and Finny, canonically.

But, as in many of the previous questions, it’s verse-dependent.

Q♣️ - Do other people consider your muse charming?

She is sure people don’t like her, and see only the worst things in her. But that’s not really the case, some actually see her as an endearing one.

K♣️ - How important is integrity to your muse?

It’s really important. Of course, she has her own moral system, with which some would not agree, but she believes that things that have to be done simply need to be done, and there are no excuses.

A♦️ - What is the most important message your muse has ever received?

Canonically, I don’t remember one. In some of the threads, it’s usually a message that she’s got a job. That actually changes her whole world.

2♦️ - How important is money to your muse?

It means nothing to her. Of course, it does make life easier, but she believes one can be happy without it - or sometimes it’s even easier to be happy without any money - because money means trouble.

3♦️ - How does your muse handle indecision?

Very poorly. She’ll look for advice, but she’s bad at asking for it, so in the end, she usually makes very poor decisions.

4♦️ - Is your muse more of the patient or instant gratification type?

She feels temptation quite often, but - surprisingly enough - she is quite patient. She loves the thought of how wonderful it’ll be to indulge after a long time of waiting.

5♦️ - How often does your muse change plans?

Not often. Something really important needs to happen for her to change her plans. Usually she won’t plan if she’s not certain it’s the right choice, so it’s hard to make her change her mind.

6♦️ - Is your muse responsible with their money?

Since she’s been poor her whole life, she’s definitely a responsible one. As I mentioned before, she feels tempted rather often, but she’ll think twice before spending money, and quite probably, she’ll rather save than spend.

7♦️ - When was your muse the most down on their luck?

Once again, thread-dependent. But canonically, I think it’s the beginning of the manga, when she does everything - everything - wrong, especially breaking her glasses, which means she really cannot do anything right, for she simply doesn’t see.

8♦️ - Has your muse ever received money or gifts from a mysterious benefactor?

No, never. And even if she did, she’d try to find out who it was, so she could somehow pay back.

9♦️ - How much money does your muse spend on average?

As much as it’s necessary for her to live a normal life. Sometimes she gives in to the temptation, and buys herself a book.

10♦️ - How financially successful is your muse?

Probably more successful than one would believe she’d be, considering she is but an orphan. But actually, yeah, she’s poor.

J♦️ - Who does your muse do the most business with?

Her fellow servants.

Q♦️ - Has your muse ever been gossiped about or participated in gossip?

She hates to admit that, but yes, sometimes she, too, enjoys gossip. She’ll rather avoid spreading it, but she likes to hear some news. As for being gossiped about, I can’t remember such a situation.

K♦️ - If your muse were to start their own business, what would it be?

Either a coffee/tea shop, or a book shop. There was a thread where she had a flower shop, too.

A♠️ - What was the most painful loss your muse had to go through?

Losing her childhood friends, Yan and Hao. Also, that moment when she thought she had lost Sebastian forever.

2♠️ - How often does your muse wish to be left alone?

Quite often. She doesn’t like to be in a large group of people, and sometimes even Bard and Finny are too much. However, she cannot be completely alone for an extended period.

3♠️ - Does your muse ever let anyone see them cry?

Sometimes, yes. But usually not; once again, she hates when people may see her as weak, and tears are a sign of weakness.

4♠️ - What’s the worst injury your muse has ever recovered from?

As a punishment, she was usually beaten. There were times when her boss almost beat her to death, and yet, she’s still alive - just scarred.

5♠️ - Has your muse ever had to change their lifestyle in a major way?

Yes. First, when her parents died, and she needed to get used to the street life. Then, when she was forced to become an assassin. And after that, when she started her job as a Phantomhive maid. Recently, when Ciel returned, and they were all kicked out of the manor.

6♠️ - Does your muse believe in fate/destiny?

Yes. But she also believes in one’s ability to change it.

7♠️ - What’s a hard truth that your muse has to learn/has learned?

That things hardly ever go the way we want them to go, and it’s better to just grit your teeth and go on, even if it hurts.

8♠️ - What does your muse work the hardest for?

She wants to be a proper servant and prove her worth to the world.

9♠️ - Has your muse ever felt forced to change?

She feels that all the time; after all, she does not want to be an embarrassment or shame, and this is what she believes she is.

10♠️ - How does your muse cope with grief?

Not well. Mei-Rin isn’t good at coping with any emotions, because she’s really sensitive, and therefore, she’ll cry a lot, and sometimes grief would make her almost unable to function normally.

J♠️ - Who would your muse most likely end up in jail with?

Finny and Bard.

Q♠️ - Does your muse manipulate others easily or are they easily manipulated?

She is quite easily manipulated. Threaten her friends, or play with her emotions, and she’s all yours.

K♠️ - What is one thing your muse considers a grave injustice?

The fact that there is so much suffering in the world, and there is nothing one could do to change that.

[feelingfredly]

MI6-Hundred Thousand Scoville Heat Units, Or, The Heat It Takes to Make an M

Summary: MI6 is full of survivors.  The new M, Gareth Mallory, should fit right in.             

Notes:  This little fic touches on surviving torture and PTSD survival.  If you're struggling with that sort of thing, be kind to yourself and find another ficlet to cuddle up with.  It isn't graphic at all, but I wanted to put out the warning.

Thanks!Still finding my way through the 007-verse.  Hope you enjoy the little journey. :)

“Miss Moneypenny,” M said, voice quiet but firm as he flipped through the stack of documents in his hand.  “I’m afraid something has come up and I won’t be able to meet with the department heads for the breakfast meeting tomorrow. I believe I have an opening Thursday afternoon, if you’d be kind enough to see to it.”

Nimble fingers were already checking the computer and sending out his apologies.  Not that he needed to apologize, but it was the done thing. “Yes, sir.  The department heads have been notified, and if any of them have conflicts…” He raised an eyebrow and Moneypenny ground to a halt.  “Yes, sir.  I will make sure they know that this takes priority. Is there anything else?”

M finished flipping through the papers in his hand, pulled a pen out and scribbled his initial on a few lines and passed them across the mahogany surface.  “No thank you, Moneypenny.  That will be all for now.”

He sighed as he passed back into his office and closed the door. Another bullet dodged.

***

Where was the chili oil?

“You do understand, M, that these agents of yours don’t actually have a license to run roughshod over the law.  They have to answer to someone.”

And that someone will never be you.  As M, his was the last word when it came to his agents and he wasn’t about to pass them over to some bean counter who had never sacrificed a day in his life for Queen and country.

He raised a finger to get the attention of their server.  “Chili oil, please.”

The server gave a tiny bow and turned with an, “Of course, sir.” before disappearing into the back of the restaurant. Across the white linen tablecloth, the MP he was ignoring began to notice that he was being ignored.

“I say, surely you realize…”

M cut him off with a raised finger.  “Surely you realize that what my agents do, or do not do, is my purview, and ultimately, mine alone. The legality of their actions is defined much more stringently than the actions of MPs, such as yourself, or even the PM herself. If you have a problem with something that one of my people has done, you are by all means welcome to lodge a complaint through the proper channels. Oh good, here it is—” He looked up at the server carrying the small container of chili oil with a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

The server dissolved in the way that excellent servants did—only visible when needed, and never when not—and he began to douse the white fish he’d been served liberally, and the man across the table raised both eyebrows in astonishment.

“You’re not going to eat that?” The MP cleared his throat and lowered his voice, apparently a little embarrassed to have been so caught off guard as to blurt something out like that.

“You’d be surprised,” was all M replied, finally raising his fork to his mouth and tucking into his luncheon with satisfaction.

***

“Santa Baby, slip the sable under the tree, for me…” 004 serenaded the office party with his best torch singer’s voice, wiggling a feather boa at anyone who got close enough for him to tease, “I’ve been an awful good girl, Santa Baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight.”

“Been just awful, you mean,” another voice piped up from the back of the room, clear as a bell. “How many explosions on your tally, so far? If I remember correctly, two more and you’ll pass 006.”  Q’s face was pink from a little too much holiday cheer, but he still had Q-Branch under control.  Thankfully. His minions got stroppy quickly if things went wrong, but Q always seemed to know how to calm them.

Like Hagrid and his pets. Now wasn’t that a picture?

M pushed his way further into the room and paused where everyone could see him.  Startling a group studded with 00 agents was never a good idea.

“Happy Christmas to you all!” He smiled as broadly as was acceptable for a member of upper management and raised his laden arms.  “Father Christmas was busy, so I told him I’d drop this lot off.”

Several of the Q-Branch staffers skittered forward and helped him set down the gifts he’d brought, his smile a little less forced as he watched them happily digging through of the packages. He didn’t go in for the departmental Secret Santa gift exchanges—he always thought it ironic that spies loved spying on each other under the auspices of figuring out the perfect gift—but he was no Scrooge, and he appreciated his people.  They sacrificed more than most would ever be aware of, and even though they chose the life, that didn’t make their sacrifices any less important.

“Just the man we were hoping to see,” came a voice from the corner.  007 was lounging against the corner of a desk, looking for all the world like Q Branch had been tailored to fit him like one of his damned suits.  He waved a tumbler of what was probably very good scotch at Q, and the younger man nodded.

“Masters,” he said, “would you pop into my office and grab the box on the corner of my desk?  It should have a tag on it.”

The young blond fellow hopped up, disappearing into Q’s office for a moment and returning with an enormous basket with a red bow and an index card with a big green M on it.

“This is for you, I guess, sir,” he said, handing M the basket with a nod and a smile before plopping back at his desk and resuming his conversation.  

M looked down into the basket expecting his typical bottle of rum, if they’d realized that was his preference, or whiskey if they were still shopping for the old M.  Not that he minded.  Some nights, whatever was available was fine.

That wasn’t the case, though. Instead of alcohol—or, actually in addition to alcohol, because there was indeed a pair of bottles of Pusser’s in the bottom—but on top, there was… well, there was so much it was almost overwhelming.

He recognized hot British mustard, and a jar of Calabrian pepper sauce.  There was Szechuan chili oil, and hot pickled giardiniera.  There was even a bright red bottle of something called Dave’s Insanity Sauce.  

He picked the last up out of the basket and looked at the little tag on it.  From: Felix Leiter—with the CIA’s apologies to your stomach.

All the bottles had tags. Most were from 00’s.  One, with a handwritten label, was from Moneypenny. There was even a box of spicy chili laced chocolates with a tag that said, “Life isn’t worth living without chocolate –Happy Christmas from Q-Branch.”

He looked up and noticed the three best, or worst, of his charges had crossed the space to stand before him.

Bond swallowed a mouthful of scotch and nodded to the chaotic pile of condiments. “Alec tried to sneak in a salt-shaker full of gunpowder—he tried it one very memorable weekend in Siberia—but we convinced him that we didn’t actually want to poison you.”

M nodded. “I appreciate that.  Truly.”

Moneypenny grinned.  “One of those is my grandmother’s spicy pickapeppa sauce, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Q use it as a degreaser in the lab, so be warned.”

Q shuddered.  “That stuff should be weaponized.  Wait.  I could….”

“Q!” Moneypenny punched him lightly in the shoulder and they shared a grin.

M stared at the little group, and then realized the other 00’s were watching them from their spots around the room.

Bond raised a shoulder. “We hope you don’t mind, but it was important to us,” he nodded, “to all of us, that we do this first Christmas right. We know we aren’t the most welcoming bunch.”

Q snorted into his drink, and 007 threw him a dry look.  “Most of us had a love/hate relationship with your predecessor, and unfortunately you got the brunt of it after Skyfall.”

M shifted the basket in his hands, trying to think of what to say.  He couldn’t think of anything.

Moneypenny took pity on him. “After a month and a half of rescheduling breakfast meetings, it became pretty obvious that they were never going to work for some reason.”

Q nodded. “I, for one, am very grateful for that fact—who wants to deal with bureaucracy before they’ve even had their tea—but, still.  Knowing that it was a thing, didn’t explain what it was, or why.”

007 met his eye and they shared a look of understanding.  “It wasn’t hard for the agents to figure out.  You aren’t one of us now, but you were once—or at least close enough for government work.” They all laughed at that, and Bond went on. “All the 00’s have things we avoid.  I swear Alec would shoot someone if they tried to feed him borscht.”  He looked grim. “Six weeks of eating nothing but rotten beets, and those rarely…” he didn’t say anymore.  He didn’t need to.

Mallory had spent three brutal months in the hands of the IRA, and they’d left their mark.  Or marks.  He’d found that the scars could be explained away, but the horror he felt at the scent of gluey oats, or the panic he felt at the smell of over-boiled cabbage and spoiled potatoes.  He’d been starved enough to eat anything, and then sick as a dog when he did.  It changed a man.

He looked around the room and felt closer to the 00’s than he ever had.  It changed all of them.

Q raised his glass, “So, we decided that this year our Christmas mission was to make sure that, you, as our new M—who is now stuck with us, for better or for worse—never ran out of what it takes for you to do the job. Whatever it happened to be. Even,” he picked up a cut glass jar full of candy and tilted it so he could read the label, “habanero flavored jellybeans.”

M nodded once, firmly, and shifted the weight of his present a little awkwardly, as yet unable to find his tongue.  Luckily, Moneypenny had no such problem.

“Now,” she reached in with a grin and grabbed the Pusser’s before heading back towards the rest of the partygoers. “Who’s going to let me show you how to make a proper Painkiller? Anyone?”

Q smiled and raised his glass in a little toast before sidling away, just leaving M and Bond.

“Happy Christmas,” Bond paused. “M.”

He looked at the other man and recognized the compliment in the use of his title.

“Happy Christmas yourself, 007.  And thank you.”

[monstrousthingsrp]

Welcome to Monstrous Things, Lynn!

“Draco Lucius Malfoy, heir to Malfoy name and member of a proud line of Blacks, can be a dramatic little shit. He strides rather than walks and reclines rather than sits. This means that he is both noticeable and memorable, two dangerous traits when your enemies would like nothing more than to tear you apart.”

We are thrilled to accept your application for Draco Malfoy! We delighted in your balance of horror...and a little horrorish humor. Hopefully there’ll be a chance very soon for one of your dream plots! It’s going to be wonderful to have you join us both OOC and also IC with your delightfully Malfoyish Draco -- both theatrical, proud, and built of various body parts. 

OOC Details Name: Lynn Pronouns: she/her Activity Level: I work full time, but I am often very good at checking in every day. Other: I don’t have anything for the trigger list.

General IC Details

Name: Draco Lucius Malfoy, Draco, Malfoy Age: 25 Gender/Pronouns: Draco/he/him/his. Draco prefers his name or male pronouns, even when he feels less than male, mostly because he abhors being referred to with plural pronouns. Desired Changes: I’m not sure if this is a change, but I would prefer to have his face be free of scars/stitches. In my head he has them along his hairline, where his head meets his neck and then all over the rest of his body, but not blatantly on his face. It would be to conspicuous for a family known for hiding. [MOD NOTE: THE LOCATION AND VISIBILITY-LEVEL OF ALL OF DRACO’S STITCHING IS ENTIRELY UP TO YOU!]

Please describe the character’s education experience:

All of Draco’s early life was learning how to be someone worthy of his perfect body. Neither of his parents would say such a thing, but when you put so much effort into building the perfect child you have to mold him as well. Lucius would take him around, show him manners and niceties and how to spot who deserved such treatment and who did not. From there it became how to spot muggles and muggle sympathizers and the muggle defense. How to blend in with them, make them think you were their friends. Lucius taught him how to be manipulative.

Narcissa taught him loyalty. Loyalty to family, to friends, to witches and wizards, but never muggles or brainwashed wix. And then she taught him how to defend himself. Where the group classes with Professor Lupin ended, hers began. It was only after she was comfortable that he could shield or dodge practically anything short of the Killing Curse that Draco was able to learn how to fight with everyone else. Healing was the only subject Draco pursued without his parents suggesting it first. In fact, the balked when he demanded to know how he had been made. It took him time, but they came to understand that he needed to know how to put himself back together. From there he continued on, picking up healing tips and tricks around the Caravan.

Job/Role:

Despite Narcissa’s efforts, Draco is often off fighting for the Wizarding Community. While he lacks the abilities that make his cousin Dora the perfect spy or the respect and popularity that make Regulus a good leader, Draco’s own gift has made him invaluable over time. His glowing stitches help with missions and make him a perfect scout for traps or incoming enemies. Draco’s friends may be limited and people may complain about having to put up with him, but it can’t be denied that he is good at what he does and that he is diligent about keeping an eye out for his comrades.

The downside to his spelled stitches is that Draco can light up simply walking down a crowded street. High collars and pretending to be heavily into body modification can only get him so far, making seeking muggle employment is too large a risk. Draco’s money comes from healing and tricky protection charms. It’s not uncommon to see people begrudgingly come to him after the Caravan has moved to fortify their wards. Healing may seem like a task he should do for free (many others seem to believe so), but potions and ingredients aren’t free. Although, should be noted he will never turn away anyone who cannot pay, but sometimes owing a Malfoy a favor can be more dangerous than debt or minor wounds.

Character Traits:

- Arrogant: Draco Malfoy is perfection in a long line of exemplary people from distinguished family lines. Both of his parents stressed their child’s worth at a very young age, that he was created to a level of perfection no one else could begin to match. Even the spelled stitches that mar his skin are tidy, neat and in their own way beautiful. Then there were the gifts. Despite how their situation at times became desperate, everything Draco could desire was gifted to him. The best clothes, toys and food always seemed within reach. Because of this, it took Draco a long time to realize how rude it was to rub his gains in the faces of his peers who were not so blessed. Draco does not appreciate being told no. As a child he was prone to angry fits when he felt denied. With age Draco learned how temper that rage and lash out with harsh cutting words instead.

+ Loyal: No matter how much of prat Draco is there is no denying that he is true to his family and his friends. The Cause ranks high in his priorities since it could be the only way for them to stop running and live a normal life.

- Theatrical: Draco Lucius Malfoy, heir to Malfoy name and member of a proud line of Blacks, can be a dramatic little shit. He strides rather than walks and reclines rather than sits. This means that he is both noticeable and memorable, two dangerous traits when your enemies would like nothing more than to tear you apart.

+ Adaptable: Not everything will go according to plan, but over the years Draco has learned to think on his feet and turn situations back in his favor. Sometimes it’s saying the right words when he’s trying to be discreet or fighting back when a peaceful situation turns, but when things change Draco goes with them.

- Cold: Sometimes things are simply things. Draco believes in himself and appreciates all his family has given him. But the Malfoys cannot give him friends and they can’t make people respect him. Rather than admit there was something wrong with himself, Draco blames others. If they don’t want to accept him, he won’t lower himself to their level simply for a warm hello. No matter how wonderful that might be.

+ Cautious: After growing up under his parents’ watchful eyes and tales of the last raid against them it was drilled into his head to think first. Running into a situation is how you get hexed, or worse. That is why Draco prefers scouting out situations and using the stitches to warn him. The more information, the easier it is to get through a situation or adapt to it.

OOC Questions List three aspects of the character or world that that caught your interest.

The horror aspect of Draco being this embodiment of perfection while being a monster most commonly associated with the grotesque and abominations against the laws of nature really grabbed me. Frankenstein’s monster is this lumbering idiot made up of defective parts and while it may seem like since he was made of better parts and loved that Draco is above that, he’s made out of his infant siblings and a desperate Veela. He’s a perfect abomination and I fell in love with that.

I adore how disconnected from canon this AU is. The barest of bones of the canon verse do such a great job of creating a base for a truly unique experience. No only is everyone on the opposite sides, but not having people concerned about blood or which Hogwarts house they were in as children. It opens up the possibilities for these characters so much.

 They’re at a great age here. Most RPs fall into three time periods, so it’s exciting to see them deal with grown up issues without having their own children yet.

What is your dream plot?

-Perhaps this is too comedic (or my sense of humor is terrible) but you can’t have a man made up of sewn together parts not fall apart. Whether it’s through torture, a fight or something crazy, it would be fun to take Draco, reduce him to parts and make him confront his otherness. 

 I would adore Draco getting to spend time with his cousins, Dora and Regulus. They are probably some of the only people who could get away with teasing him and Draco not getting upset about it.

[darrien111-blog]

Free verse 3/12/18

I will never forget what you did to me

I will never shake the feeling of a time where life was so miserable

I hated that I had to act like someone I wasn’t

On top of the list being dealt two absent parents, who have neglected me emotionally and were always dealing with their own issues. Mom being a clingy anxious mess because of her mother, yet would cut you where she knows it will hurt. Dad having a work related injury where he smashed his wrist with a sledgehammer, causing permanent nerve damage in his left arm, causing him constant chronic pain in the entire left arm up to his neck. Before the injury he was a very angry and mean person. Over worked, dealing with a femme son who he was in total denial about, and a wife that would spend all of their money on online poker and things for me. My dad told me when I was really young, screamed in my face that I was the reason their marriage is failing.

I had a reoccurring dream as a kid where I was sitting in a field of beautiful flowers and everything is so peaceful, then the view of the dream pans out and shows a field a little bit away from the one I was in, and it shows a big war tank, and my dad pops out of the top of the tank and fires a bomb that hits my field and blows up the world.

I also went to 10 schools from kindergarten to senior year. The first 5 years being private catholic school, and the rest public school. I didn’t fit in anywhere. I made “friends” but no one really understood me because I couldn’t let my true self out. I kind of acted out a lot and changed schools either because of kids being awful, or because the administration didn’t understand or accept me. I was a social butterfly as they always seem to say. They say one transition to a different school can be very traumatizing to a child, and I did it 10 times. Nothing has ever been stable.

Lately I’ve been reliving the memory I have from my childhood where I made a female character on World of Warcraft after my dad told me I could only make boy characters because people “type sexual stuff to girl characters.” Which he never played a girl so idfk how he knew that lol, who you messaging dad? He comes storming into my room and starting SCREAMING and I stand up from the chair and less than a second later he grabs the computer chair and picks it up and smashes it on the ground very very violently and screams “WHAT ARE YOU A FUCKING FAGGOT?!” I just stood there and cried. It’s all I could ever do. I was in the 3rd grade when this happened. Then in high school my dad violently grabbed me, hit my face off of a washing machine, then into a wall and then onto the floor. I had marks on my back where he grabbed me. I talked to my headmaster because I was so scared, and a DYS officer came to my house. My parents told them I had a disciplinary problem. No. I had a problem with trying my hardest in my sport winning 8 national championships with my team in the one season I got to spend with them, getting good grades, and cleaning the house every week like a good Cinderella, I had an angry bigoted white republican dad who told me I was disgusting when I told him I was gay, and a mother who would take out her anger on me and push me to the edge mentally so I would react, and then my dad would take care of it. Then when my dad got hurt he went through his midlife crisis, grew out his hair, got his ear pierced, was addicted to pain killers, and then told my best friend that he had sexual feelings for her, and then banning her from my house thus ending the best friendship. He eventually quit the pain killers and switched to growing and smoking pot, which I wasn’t mad about. I at least deserved that.

So dealing with the personality disorder my parents helped me develop was great, but what was even better was the discover of the personality disorder

A tinder swipe changed my life. I met the most beautiful man. He was the guy I dreamed of as a kid. I knew he would be a Taurus with green eyes and dark hair. He was my everything the first time I saw him and our love exploded. We showed each other so much of ourselves (reflectively), and it scared us both and we ended up in a cycle of hurt. But this tinder swipe turned into a fiancè who only “proposed” to me so I wouldn’t leave him. We got in a fight and the law got involved, and he convinced me to stay in contact with him when it was against my bail conditions. Then whenever I would try to break contact because I was an anxious mess, he would show up at my work, he would threaten to call the police and tell them I’ve been contacting him so I would be arrested. Told me he hopes I get raped in prison and get HIV and die. Watching me through my windows and making fake profiles to spy on me, and carry to catch me cheating on him. That I was and am just a hole to fill. I know that was him putting his demons on me. I loved him regardless. I loved him with all of my heart. I hurt him by sleeping with other people. He emotionally withdrew from me and we were separated a lot. I just wanted to find a connection, yet I was haunted by his. I loved him so much regardless of the shit he did to me. But I’ve learned to love the people who hurt me from the get go. I didn’t know anything else. He was in pain too. I know that. It’s been over a year since he left me, and I still cry to this day. I cried this morning over him. A GOOD ass cry.

I had so many of my own demons, I didn’t need his, or my parents, or all of the people that were expecting efficient adult live living from me, when I was broken and running on empty. I had no say in who or what I was. Now that my parents problems are gone and he is no where to be found, I’m left scarred and abandoned. Out to fend for myself when I’m still trying to heal from a life of hardship thus far. But I know my destiny is far greater insured by these experiences, and greatness will follow. Nothing worth having was easy to achieve.