#verse. ( hope suffocating between my clasped fingers. ( postwar cardassia verse. ) )

[lietwice]

"I love the rain." ~Emkari (because you deserve to interact with the kids too) @jsbashirmd

GARAK LOOKS DOWN IN SURPRISE. "Oh, hello, my dear." He's standing in the open doorway of their home, looking out at the rain and breathing in the warm, humid air, head tilted back to stare up at the sky, watching the rain fall and listening for the rumbles of thunder. He'd known Emkari was in the room, but hadn't expected her to join him. Slowly, he smiles, wraps his arm around her, and returns his gaze to the sky. "As do I. I found myself missing it, when I lived on the station." The heat too, of course, but the air feels different when it rains, no matter what the temperature is; it smells different and tastes different when he opens his mouth slightly to pull the air in over his tongue. "It's warm enough that we could go for a walk, if you'd like." Despite the warm air, getting wet will make them cold by the time they get home anyway, but Julian should be home by then, so he can help warm them up.

[lietwice]

DOES HE WANT TO? No. He doesn't want to take a break, he wants to do his duty to Cardassia and help no matter the personal cost. But how can he? How can he, when he's been put back together and still feels broken? A good Cardassian would've been up and about already, driven, healed by his duty. "What good am I now?" He lifts his head again, but there are still tears on his face and shining in his eyes, and he can only look at Julian for a short time.

As the tears wet through his clothes, Julian can't help but cry a little too. It's been an exhausting, too-long day (or two, technically) and a lot of it was properly distressing and seeing Garak upset always serves to leave him emotional as well. His tears dry up before his husband's do, but he still holds him and rocks him and strokes his sides, murmuring comforting little bits of praise and endearment.

"Do you want to take a break from helping with the rubble sifting? No one would blame you." He doesn't know what Tzenketh is, but asking directly isn't likely to get him a helpful answer, so he just uses context clues. "This was an ordeal. An awful one."

[lietwice]

“I just fed you.” ((Julian is meal-prepping for the next week and Garak keeps swiping bits?)) ~ @jsbashirmd

THREE SUCCESSFUL SWIPES. Three times so far, Garak has managed to steal some food from Julian's meal prepping area. Keeping his skills maintained can be difficult in his current lifestyle, but, Garak is pleased to have found, he's still a great thief. And what's more, in this lifestyle, it's an immensely enjoyable skill to practice. He swallows his latest stolen bit of food, and smiles at his husband from across the room, where he'd darted after swiping it. "Yes," he agrees, beginning his next overly casual wander back into Julian's area of the kitchen. "But now you're making different food."

[lietwice]

thinking a lot about garak's journey of identity post-canon. and how important little things are. and the impact Julian could have. he says Julian sticks out because his hair is different. and it is, but seeing Julian go around with his curls makes Garak feel like maybe it would be ok to grow his hair a bit longer than the standard military cut. he sees Julian being unapologetically soft with a neighbourhood child, and thinks maybe it would be ok for someone to know he cares enough to share his food with someone one day. he sees children alone in the streets, and understands the pain of not having a parent to turn to, and he thinks perhaps it would be ok to try to fill the gap, because that's what Cardassia needs. and it's different to before, but so are lots of other things. and he isn't betraying his planet by changing.

it's such an important thing for him to understand. he's always going to see 'serving cardassia' as the most important thing he can do. so for him to reconcile who he is now with the ability to do that.... it's just so important and necessary for him. he doesn't have to become the person he used to be in order to serve the new cardassia.

[lietwice]

thinking about Them on post-canon cardassia. doing silly romantic old men things. julian coming home to garak cooking for them both. he's there waiting for julian to walk right into his arms. he'll do something silly like pick him up even though it's definitely gonna make his back sore, give him a little spin, for no reason other than he missed him. because he does that, now. he loves his husband and he's excited to talk to him every single day. and tell him about all the things he's been doing in the garden.

[lietwice]

jsbashirmd·:

Julian closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath and lets it out as slowly as he can. Then he wraps his arms tightly around his own chest and says, “If they’re going to be stupid and stubborn enough to refuse having it fully healed, at least make sure they take pain management medication on a schedule and don’t walk on it more than necessary.” Two things he had also refused. “Ideally, they shouldn’t put any weight on it for a couple days. Cold compress to reduce any swelling. Don’t put any extra stress on the body by sustaining other injuries or neglecting proper nutrition and hydration.” He opens his eyes, but avoids looking directly at Garak, even as he reaches a hand out to him.

        HE’S POWERLESS TO REFUSE THAT OUTSTRETCHED HAND.    He takes it, without hesitation, and strokes it with his thumb. “I think I can manage that.” Julian may have refused pain medication, but Garak has some hidden away. Bad habits. He’ll have to get it out when Julian isn’t with him, to avoid revealing his hiding places. “I’m afraid, my dear patient, that you won’t be doing very much walking for the next few days.” He doesn’t attempt to meet Julian’s eyes. It’s pointless, and will likely make the conversation more difficult for his beloved doctor. Instead, he watches the movement of his own thumb where it continues to stroke Julian’s hand. “You’ll have to put up with my cooking for a few days. You can make requests, of course, but you won’t be providing any practical assistance, I’m afraid.”

@lietwice asked:

“Are you hurt?”

Julian shakes his head, then tries to get up and swiftly changes his mind. They'd reached and rescued 14 injured people, including two small children, before the secondary collapse, so it was certainly worth a bruised hip and a fractured ankle, but that didn't mean he had to be pleased about it. At least Garak had been far enough away from the building at the time to not be caught in it. "Yes. It's probably not bad, but I'd rather not do more damage. Can you help me up and let me use you as a crutch?"

[lietwice]

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[lietwice]

SO SWEET. Garak smiles, tilting his head towards Julian's tracing hand. He doesn't try to change Julian's position at all, letting him find the most comfortable way to lay, before he starts to rub his back. "He is beautiful." For once, he doesn't argue with his husband about the reason for that. "And you're beautiful. Flooded with hormones or not." He leans in to give him an affectionate kiss. "I hope you know that I'm proud of you, my dear. Of us, too, but mostly of you. I know it wasn't easy to go through what you did." He's talking about the birth, but the pregnancy, too, and all the work that led up to it. "I didn't think it was possible for me to be any prouder to be your enjoined."

His first instinct is still to push back--to tell Garak that no, he had been the one to do well. But he smothers that impulse. "Yeah. Yes, I did, didn't I? He's so beautiful, Garak. And don't tell me it's because he looks like me, because human children always look like their fathers in the first months of life. He looks like you, and he's gorgeous." Julian still can't comfortably lay on his belly on top of Garak, but he presses as close as he can and uses two fingertips to trace the ridges on his cheek and jaw. "And I'm absolutely flooded with hormones, but I'm still right."

[lietwice]

IT'S MORE THAN OKAY. It's a surprise, and it takes Garak's breath away again, but it's more than okay. He initially freezes, but once he's managed to process the fact that Julian has his face in his shoulder and his arms wrapped around him, he hugs back. Hugging Julian isn't like hugging Soren, who is the only other person Garak has hugged recently. He's warm and solid and he smells incredible, and his long limbs provide a comforting pressure around him, so firm in their embrace that Garak almost forgets to worry about what his own arms are doing. Almost. He's not a very practiced hugger, so it takes him a moment or two just to figure out where his arms need to sit. Then, his eyes close, and he lets the feeling of being hugged sink in, such a rare occurrence that he expects to draw on the memory of the touch for comfort for quite some time. It feels like it's over before it's begun when Julian pulls back; Garak immediately misses the embrace. He has to work at putting a neutral expression and polite smile on his face, rather than the desperate longing he's sure resides there at first. "Ah, well. Thank you." Inwardly he cringes at himself. Thanking him for a hug? What could be more pathetic? Garak quickly moves on. "Would you like to put him to bed? You don't have to, if you'd rather I did it. And he's got the bed, I'm afraid, so either one of us will have to share with him later, or we'll be on the couch and the floor."

"Yes," he insists immediately. "Of course I am. He's my son, Garak--how could I not?" And with both Garak and Soren telling him that he's Soren's father, he can't very well just choose to not believe it. There's a whole mess of logistical issues, of course, and the problem of records and secrecy, which they'll need to work out tonight, but none of that could ever be large enough for him to abandon his child. "I'm going to hug you now, because frankly, I need it. Is that okay?" And then Julian does hug him, without waiting for an answer. He wraps his arms tightly around him and he ducks his face down into his shoulder and he stays there for ten long seconds before forcing himself to let go.

[lietwice]

GARAK DOES AS HE'S ASKED. It might not be his favourite place to mark Julian, but when it has such a clear impact, and when it is, as Julian says, an important one, it's difficult to think about anything other than how genuinely glad he is to do this for Julian. And that hopeful voice is so beautiful. "Of course, my dear." He takes the other foot and gives it the same treatment, marking it thoroughly before applying teeth. It feels meaningful, given the emotion he can hear and see in his husband's face, so Garak takes his time with it. He lets his teeth press into his heel, scrapes them across his skin, following the line of scent he's already left, then nibbles his toes, mostly out of curiosity to see whether Julian will find that equally enjoyable.

It's not that Garak doesn't ever do things he's not incredibly into just for Julian, because he certainly does. But this feels extra intentional. His words only emphasize that feeling, and when Julian feels Garak's teeth scrape over the arch of his foot and then dig into his heel, tears come to his eyes again. He's just so certain, in that moment, of how much he's loved. He nods and swallows thickly. "Yeah. Yes, it's yours. All of me is yours, but especially- especially the parts that no one else has ever even tried to claim. The important ones." Because of course none of his previous lovers had ever cared to specifically claim his unique erogenous zones--not when they didn't make any sense to them. But Garak is different. He always has been. "Do the other one?" he asks, his voice choked with emotion and a particular sort of heavy hope.

[lietwice]

MORE KISSES, FOR THAT. He gets five more, in fact, pressed softly to the pulse point in Julian's neck while Garak absorbs those words. Eventually, he sighs, presses his chufa against his husband's skin, and says, "as long as you don't feel like you're on your own with any of it. I would never want you to feel like that."

"Not in the slightest," he reassures. "You realize that you're the one home all day, yes? That you're their primary caregiver? That you spend all of your time cooking and cleaning and playing with them? Making sure they're mentally stimulated and well-clothed and loved beyond reason?" Julian squeezes him. "And supporting me. I'm glad to take on any role so long as I have your support."

[lietwice]

WITHOUT HESITATION, HE DOES. He likes this delicate skin. He really likes it. Garak sucks at it again eagerly, exploring the skin with kisses and gentle nips with his teeth until he runs out of energy and has to rest his head on Julian's shoulder, exhausted. Even then, he doesn't quite want to give up, so takes a deep breath in to smell his partner. "Your scent is most enjoyable," he murmurs, then can't resist poking his tongue out for one more lick of the smooth skin.

Garak's tongue pressed flat to his neck is an incredible sensation, and Julian breathes in sharply, then closes his eyes to enjoy it all the more. The scrape of teeth is divinely intimate, but the unexpected suction is what gets him to gasp and then moan with pleasure. He clutches tightly at Garak's back, and he tilts his chin up even further to stretch the delicate skin for his partner's attention. "Do that again?" he requests. "Please?"

[lietwice]

A PERFECT SUGGESTION. As if surprised, Garak opens his mouth in a gasp and raises his orbital ridges, watching his husband jump into the water. It isn't even nearly surprising -- this is entirely usual behaviour for Julian and could have been predicted -- and under his false surprise, Garak's expression is warm, full of fond amusement and adoration. He removes his own shoes and follows his husband without hesitation, reaching out under the water to try and grab hold of any part of him he can reach.

He laughs quietly, bumping his whole side affectionately into his husband's. "We ought to know better, really. It's truly unforgivable behavior." His amusement doesn't fade much over the course of their walk, and he's still grinning when he bends to pull off his shoes and set their towels aside for later. "Chase me?" he suggests, then he throws himself into the water.

[lietwice]

GARAK SMILES AND REACHES OUT. He takes the baby, smiling as a little hand immediately finds his braid, just as it had Julian's. "Ah, you're going to play with Ya'yadik's hair now instead of Abba's, are you? It feels different, doesn't it? Different texture." Garak pauses, then ducks just slightly, head tilted to the side, so he can kiss Julian without dislodging his hat. "Abba's hat protects him from the sun, but it doesn't protect him from kisses," he tells the baby. "Now, then... this is a Carathna flower..."

"That's a lovely idea, isn't it pumpkin?" Julian nuzzles him again, then adjusts his hold so he can stand up to take him outside as suggested. He stops first at the door to slide into shoes and equip himself with a hat, which the baby looks at curiously, but Julian explains as they continue on toward the garden. "Abba doesn't handle the sun very well here, so I wear a hat, see? Then my face is protected. It's giving you a little shadow right now too. Darling? Do you want to take him? It's just occurred to me that I'm selfishly keeping him all to myself."

[lietwice]

@jsbashirmd

GARAK LEANS INTO HIM. His husband's long limbs mean he always gives a wonderful from-behind hug. He stays right there for a moment, then straightens up slightly, turning in Julian's arms. "You could start by taking our daughter, perhaps?" He's been wanting to call her that for days, now, and it feels good to finally be able to say it. "I do enjoy holding her, but I have to admit... I haven't been able to bring myself to put her down very much this afternoon." He's a little ashamed, but he thinks if there's any day it's acceptable to behave so sappily, it has to be the day he's adopted a child with his husband. "My back isn't thanking me for it."

@lietwice

Julian moves close enough to wrap himself around Garak from behind and kiss the side of his face. “Good.” He uses his long arms to reach around to stroke her cheek and then all down her side, then he gives his husband another squeeze. “You were perfect today. My hero. Our hero. How can I show you how grateful I am?”

[lietwice]

THAT'S ABBA'S STERN VOICE. Selek immediately regrets his behaviour, and looks firmly away from Abba, watching his brother toddle out of the room and across to Yadik's sewing room, where he's promptly scooped up and cuddled. The portion of the scene he can see through the doorways only makes him even more cross at Soren, and at himself. "I don't want a chat!" he replies, finally turning to glare at Abba, using his own stern voice -- or the nearest he can manage, anyway. It doesn't come out quite like Abba's stern voice.

Selek and Soren have been theirs for about a year, and still, Julian is heartbroken every time he encounters this sort of behavior. Even as he crosses the room into the hall with quick strides, he's silently reminding himself that it's a good thing Selek feels safe enough to act out at home.

Soren caught himself and didn't quite fall, but he still has tears in his eyes when he turns to glare at his brother, betrayed. "Go find Yadik, Soren--he'll kiss you all better." He'd put on his stern voice, and it didn't get better when he focused it all on his older son. "And you and me, Selek, need to have a chat. Shall we do it right here, or do you want to go to your room?" The room was shared, but with Soren off to find Yadik, it would be private enough.