#ventppst
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i just wish I couldt alk to anyone irl too but. i js. Cant
#like I csnt talk to any 'trusted adult' becausre there is no adult I trust#i dont think I have any friends anymore#and Im too shy and weird and fucjign Out of place to wven try abd make new ones and I basically have no one and nowhere to be the most ..#Real me. like the MYSELF me. i hide everythibg I like in rl because im scared abd I only like niche things And i wish i could get myself to#like whats more known so I dobt have to feel like a big weirdo for liking super obscure stuff bc No obe has to know if i like Super Mainstr#am Stuff first!!!!! but theres nothing so I js have my little stuff and the chance of someone irl liking rhe sane things as me let alone be#ng friends with me because of those things are.. basically 0 lol#tldr I have no one and my obly support system is like. 188 and you guys#thats all.#ventppst#bentoost#bemtoost#ventpost
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like. raaaagh. i am out as a trans woman to my friend group and they have taken it pretty wrll but it is still my high school friends. i have not made new ones because my body works too unreliably to go out and do stuff without caretakers and the only one that goes with me on outings is one of them... so it all feels... like a time capsule...
#and it'd kind of be this way no matter what...#my mom... deals. with me being 'gay'. better than i could have expected her to really...#i don't think she could deal with that. and i need her to keep being able to deal with me or i can't survive...#even if i could make new friends... i don't think i can do it as sadie because of that. or they won't see me like that.#ventppsting. sorry.
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