#vegetables as a metaphor for the golden core transfer

[feyrischan]

I've felt too sick to do anything productive lately so I've been binge watching this Korean reality TV cooking show. I figured everyone should hear the cooking show chengxian AU hallucinations it provided me with so here you go

Jiang Cheng. Works as a chef in a famous Michelin star Yunmeng restaurant, nicknamed the purple poisonous lotus spider queen. His technique and precision when chopping vegetables make him a formidable opponent. His specialty dish is a simple braised pork and lotus root soup. He's breezed through every episode to reach the finale despite being disliked by nearly every other contestants who shit talk him during the confessionals.

Wei Wuxian. Former culinary school classmate of Jiang Cheng. Known for his extravagant cooking style, misuse of spices and pyrotechnic shows in the kitchen, his specialty is Mexican Chinese fusion cuisine. His use of chilli oil in particular has earned him the nickname "oiling patriarch".

He was eliminated in the first episode for causing third degree burns to a judge, leaving the victory his opponent Lan Qiren whose bland food was well received afterwards. He was brought back mid season by popular demand. 

Notable participants are Jin Ling, young and inexperienced but passionate sous chef, who goes home on episode 3 for leaving dog hair in the food, and Nie Mingjue, butcher with decades of experience, who goes home on episode 5 for murdering a cameraman. Jin Guangyao, owner of a number of restaurants in the red light district, has been edited out post-show after it was discovered he was tempering with Nie Mingjue's food, leaving a number of scenes where Nie Mingjue inexplicably gets mad at no one in particular. 

The last episode is a Wei Wuxian VS Jiang Cheng duel. The rules are simple: whoever cooks the dish chosen by the judge (Baoshan Sanren herself) the fastest wins. However in the middle of the challenge the pressure gets to Jiang Cheng and he spills the lamb sauce all over the julienne vegetables, ruining the boeuf bourguignon.

Wei Wuxian comes to his rescue, offering him half of his carrots. A dramatic flashback plays, showing Jiang Cheng secretly replacing Wei Wuxian's burnt vegetables with his own during an important culinary school exam. 

Shortly after they start kissing passionately in front of the live audience and the judges declare them both winners. Everyone claps. 

They go home with a solid gold rolling-pin-shaped trophy that wwx will definitely not put in his ass and a brand new purple car with a bumper sticker that says "attempt the impossible".