#vbros kano

[latibulater]

When Rusty is eleven, his father sits him down in the living room and tells him there will be a new baby soon. A lady friend of Jonas will be dropping off a brother for Rusty and hadn't the boy talked about wanting a playmate? It was true; Rusty was always asking for friends. This wasn't what he had meant.

He watched on as a room near his was converted from a guest bedroom into a nursery. H.E.L.P.eR. constantly whizzed by, claws full of baby clothes, formula, or toys. Rusty stared as Uncle Gentleman and Uncle Action helped his dad move out the queen-sized bed and spare workout equipment, before moving a crib and large bookshelf into the room.

"Are you alright, Master Rusty?"

"Kano! Don't sneak up on me like that!" He complained, but calmed down when the man's large hand ruffled his hair. Kano sat down at the table next to the boy and ate some cereal out of the box. "Aren't you going to help Pops?"

"They have it well in hand," said Kano. "You seem down and out."

Rusty crossed his arms. "What? No. It's just weird to see Pops not working on any new science project, or going out on the X-1 for a mission."

Kano ate some more cereal and swallowed before saying, "Yes, he rarely stays in one place. But, I heard he was like this when you were born."

"Really?"

"Yes, I was not yet...a part of Team Venture, but I've heard stories from Gentleman and Action Man of his late nights obsessing over what to name you and what books to buy."

"Oh," Rusty said surprised. "That's....that's really nice. I guess I never imagined Pops doing stuff like that for me." Kano sighed and took his glasses off to clean them. He was quiet before putting them back on. He placed a hand of Rusty's thin shoulder for a second.

"Your father..."Rusty watched with wide eyes as the strong man struggled with the shape of his phrasing. "Dr. Venture is a very passionate man," Kano settled on. "He saw, and still does see, you as his greatest project. One that required much start-up care, but needs less now that you are up and running. Does that make sense?"

"And this baby...will be the newest greatest project?" Rusty asked tentatively. Kano waved his hands frantically.

"No, no, no, see, ah shit, what is the right translation- Master Rusty, please understand," Kano said. "The new child, he is unplanned. You will always be your father's first born, his chosen child. Not that your father won't care for the new baby, no in fact he could have sent the child to the orphanage, but he didn't, because he is...he is a good man."

Rusty couldn't believe his ears. "The baby would have gone to the orphanage? Why?"

Kano blanched and looked up at the ceiling. "You see, um, well, the mother-"

A hand clamped down on Rusty's shoulder. "The tramp won't be in the picture for much longer," Uncle Gentleman said. "Soon as she pops out the bugger and gives him to Jonas, she'll be leaving."

"But why?" Rusty asked.

"She's a whore," his uncle explained, tapping his cane on the kitchen tile. "Completely unfit to be a mother, honestly the best thing she's done is tell Jonas instead of fishing it out with a wire."

He tried to the visual but it made Rusty nauseous. "If she's so awful, why did Pops make a baby with her?" Kano's face scrunched up, discomfited, but Gentleman easily explained.

"A man has to spread his wild oats, boy, you'll understand once you start growing some hair on your chest. A man can't always be picky about what field he's sowing either. I wouldn't worry about it too hard, laddie, you'll have plenty more to worry about once the little imp arrives."

Rusty frowned into his cereal.

"Oh, buck up, Thad," Uncle Gentleman clapped him on the back and walked away to the refrigerator. He opened the door, saying, "Being an older brother is supposed to be quite the privilege."

"It is," Kano quietly asserted.

Gentleman complained, "Why certainly, all my older brothers were privileged," swinging a pitcher of lemonade around. CLANK: it was set down on the counter. "Always getting me in trouble or taking my chores money," the man grumbled. The man poured himself a drink and did not continue speaking, reminiscing only to himself. Kano leaned into close the conversation.

"It is a privilege to be an older brother, but it also will come with its own challenges and puzzles. It will be your hardest and longest adventure, but brothers can become the best of friends. Plus," Kano smiled, "once the little one is a little older, the two of you together can team up on your father. Maybe force him to listen you."

Rusty giggled at the idea of him and a tinier Thaddeus hanging off Jonas,. Together they could convince him to set down his tools and listen to a show on the radio. It'd be nice having a literal brother-in-arms. One thought struck Rusty's brain and made him freeze.

"I won't have to change any diapers, will I?"

[whats-9plus10]

Saving the venture bros within the confines of the UMG copyright strike purge

[garyfischy]

UWAAAAAAAAH

redraw of screencap under cut

[horrorsequel]

it’s literally

“hey don, you know your friend and your sidekick? that’s actually my property now, thank you”. justice for kano he should’ve killed the guy

like i get so insanely mad. ur right jonas is only going super hell theres no saving that guy. the wooooorst the WORST

[hitrone]

[supersecretventureblog]

Faking Miracles - Screenshots

[moonlitkilljoy]

@giftober 2022 | day 7: one color

Blue Morpho (+ Kano) from The Venture Bros. Seasons 6 & 7

[spicyoftheearth]

hi!! another vbros self shipper here :3

OMG WITH KANO!!! Your taste is impeccable <3

[butterflies-and-handgrenades]

The Guild over on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/guildofcharitousintent/ has kindly asked me to kick off their DTIYS (draw this in your style) challenge

I'm beyond excited to see what everyone's versions are going to look like 

Check out their page if you want to enter the challenge

( I'm https://www.instagram.com/butterflies_and_handgrenades/ if you guys didn't already know lol)

[loganlover3000]

ok i PRIDE MYSELF in being the world’s biggest kano stan.. like i have not met another vbros fan who stans him harder than I do

[garlic8reath]

Spoilers for Vbros S7 episode 1

Pete White’s Kill Count: 1

Pete really is Rusty’s best friend lmfao... Now just get him to take out Col. Gentleman, Action Man, and Hatred and we’ll be set lol

((normally I’d add this commentary in the tags but I wanna avoid even hinting at spoilers so: I fuckin HATE original team venture and would be happy if they died; Kano is MAYBE the exception; they’re literally all horrible child abusers and deserve to suffer; also Col. Gentleman is I’m pretty certain a fuckin pedo creep as well so he especially can go to hell))

[whats-9plus10]

Some Gary expressions I really appreciated when making the Blue Morpho edit plus an extra Dr. Mrs

[garyfischy]

I wish I could have an open discussion of racism in vbros like that homestuck panel. But i dont think theres enough nonwhite venture bros fans for that LOL

also no offense but white people are convinced liking something means liking EVERYTHING about it. I love venture bros but the "satirical" racism is not my jam ok.

i could write a blog post about it and get more hate anons about how im a fake fan....

like some of the racism is supposed to parody jonny quest era shit but just ends up rehashing it, i shouldnt have to explain why a girl in stereotypical "indian" clothing being played straight is a bad choice. Or like. Just random bits like pete white making asian jokes or henchman 21 making asian jokes or the entirety of the pilot

its bad for nonwhite fans trying to actually criticize media they like already, but with something like vbros, its already regarded as super progressive for its time or whatever when it rlly isnt. Its attitudes around race are regressive and very White Liberal- insensitive commentary that really shouldnt have been written by 2 white dudes. Or offputting "jokes" that serve no other purpose than just rehashing racism. The parody angle only goes so far before it becomes Actual Racism (the kano can't drive because he's ASIAN jokes werent funny the first 2 times). The parody angle doesnt provide any interesting commentary on race other than "hey, isnt it so funny how they were racist back then?" .

this is nonsense sorry

[horrorsequel]

i am plauged by inscrutable visions

[supersecretventureblog]

Now Museum, now you don't - Screenshots

[horrorsequel]

i dont think its going to make it into the final cut of the fic and i dont know if the fic is even going to see the light of day hut i need to tell literally anyone that kano and jonas took an improv class together so they can have better banter and kano is really bad at it and is always literally aaying Yes, And in his responses