#valencia ftf: 021

[andiesmu-archive]

WHY DON’T YOU STAY ➝ CLARLENCIA

TAGGING ➝  Clark Berry, Valencia Cortez.

LOCATION ➝ Clark and Valencia’s apartment.

TIME FRAME ➝ 4/5, evening.

WARNINGS ➝ Death TW.

NOTES ➝ Len is having trouble dealing with the anniversary of her parents passing and takes it out on Clark.

VALENCIA

Things had been so good lately that today had really snuck up on her. Normally she’d spend some time building up to this kind of mood, but this morning she’d woken up to realize the date and her mood turned sour pretty quickly. It had been 18 years since her parents had passed away and she never seemed to take it any better. She was supposed to be happy right now, moving in with her boyfriend, in love, everything should be good, but she’d found herself crying on and off all day, and angry at the tiniest inconveniences. But at least Clark was supposed to be home soon, and she always seemed to be happy around him. Len had done the bare minimum today and then gotten right back into bed, which is exactly where she was laid right now, flipping through channels and not even paying attention to what was on.

CLARK

Clark was happy to leave work at work and finally get home to Len. Living together was already going pretty well and he was just happy to see her. He felt lucky that he didn’t have to work too late that night, but he had still stopped by to pick up Slurpees for the two of them. It was a ritual of theirs. It had always been his ritual, but he was happy that he got to share it with her now. He made sure to shut the door behind him as he entered their apartment, immediately going to greet her in the bedroom. “Hey, babe,” he mumbled out, already undoing the buttons on his shirts. He pulled his uniform off and quickly slipped on a pair of sweatpants before sliding into the bed with her. “You okay? It doesn’t seem like you’ve moved since this morning,” he said with a confused look. “I left ours Slurpee on the counter. Want me to grab them for us?”

VALENCIA

She was happy to see Clark, though her face may not have shown it, because she barely acknowledged him when he came in, but she was glad he was there. Instead she hugged her pillow tight to her front, and when he asked if she was okay, and mentioned her not moving, she rolled her eyes, something she’d never imagine doing when it came to Clark. She felt herself getting annoyed, not with him, with herself, and kept her mouth clamped shut so she wouldn’t say anything she regretted. “No.” She said shortly when he asked about the slurpees, it probably would have made her feel better but she’d rather wallow in her misery apparently. “How was your day?” She asked, still hugging her pillow, her eyes on the TV instead of him.

CLARK

Clark didn’t really know what vibes Len was trying to put off, but it seemed like she was annoyed. For the first time ever, she had rolled her eyes at him in a non-playful manner. He knew that after living together the honeymoon stage would probably wear off, but this was quick. A little too quick. And then she refused his Slurpee, which was definitely out of character. After work Slurpees were kind of their thing, but he still couldn’t really read her. It wasn’t clear if she was upset or just tired, but he was still pretty worried about her. He looked over at her with a confused look, deciding to ask her again. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He reached up to scratch his head as a small sigh escaped from his mouth. “My day was pretty boring today. Someone robbed a grocery store on the other side of town, so I had to go investigate that...” He trailed, glancing over at her. “And yours?”

VALENCIA

Len had never handled emotions well, when she was adopted she was put in therapy, and that had helped some but when she stopped she seemed to backslide on that front. Fear made her push people away, sadness made her feel anxious, anxiety made her angry, and anger tended to make her cry, though it was rare, it happened. Right now she was in between anxiety and anger and hovering dangerously close to crying. She didn’t want to act this way, especially not around Clark, but she didn’t know how to pull herself out of this. She ignored his question, finally looking up to meet his eyes when he spoke about work. “Did you figure it out?” She asked, and then sighed thinking about her own day. “I didn’t do anything today.” Len stood from the bed now, “it was kind of a shitty day, actually,” she added. She didn’t know why she got up, or what she was going to do, but she needed a distraction because crying really wasn’t an option right now. She crossed her arms in front of her as she turned to look at him again, “I might go spend the night at my sister’s.”

CLARK

Clark wasn’t the type of person who liked to deal with confrontation. He spent so much of his professional life being yelled at or having a gun in his face that once he was home, he just like to be happy. That was usually the type of time he had with Len. Things just usually came so easily for the two of them that he was kind of surprised that he could not tell what she was thinking right now. it wasn’t like them to be off beat together. They were usually so in sync. He noticed that she ignored his question again, which didn’t make him feel good. Something was clearly going on. “Hey,” he said, trying to make eye contact with her. “If something’s going on, you can always tell me.” He couldn’t tell if that would help or not. It honestly seemed like she didn’t really want to talk to him at all. Even when she asked him about work. It just seemed like she was making conversation and wasn’t really interested in it at all. He watched as she stood up from the bed, immediately shaking his head at her once she said she was going to stay at her sister’s. He followed her lead and stood up with her, his arms reaching out for her as he rested a hand on her shoulder. “Why would you stay at your sister’s?” Did I do something?” He questioned, the look of confusion on his face growing.

VALENCIA

She knew that if she told him what was going on he would be there for her, he’d probably even make her feel better, but part of her felt guilty for forgetting about the anniversary until today, and that part made her think she deserved to feel badly. The other part of her just didn’t want to break down in front of him again. She didn’t want him to think she was more trouble than she was worth, there had already been drama for them so early on, she didn’t want him to think that this was what he had to look forward to with her. She didn’t want to stay at her sister’s, either. Len wanted to be here with Clark but she didn’t know how to hold herself together, and maybe just being somewhere else would be better for both of them. She was growing angrier with herself as she saw the confusion on his face, because he didn’t deserve this, yet she could feel herself pulling away from his touch, “You didn’t do anything!” She said, her voice much colder than she wanted it to be. Len rubbed her hands over her face, before pushing them through her hair as she tried to tell herself to stop acting this way. None of this was fair to Clark, why couldn’t she just stop? “I don’t want you to see me like this. Again. I don’t want to fall apart in front of you again. I’m a fucking mess and I don’t want you to have to deal with it.” She said, her voice sounding somewhere between hurt and angry. “I don’t want you to get sick of me and all of my bullshit.”

CLARK

All Clark wanted to do was figure out what was going on with his girlfriend, but she wasn’t making it very easy for him, especially when she pulled away from the comfort he was offering her. Sadness was invading his mind as he looked over at her. She was clearly struggling with something. But he couldn’t push her to open up to him. That wouldn’t help. As much as he wanted her to tell him what was going on, that was going to have to be her decision. It couldn’t be his. “I like being her for you, Len. That’s how relationships work,” he spoke up, shaking his head at her. He didn’t want her to think that she was some burden on him. They were in a relationship. So, her problems were also his problems. “I’m not going to get sick of you,” he stammered out. “Len, you have to open up to me. If this is going to work you can’t just get upset about something and disappear to your sister’s house. We have to talk.”

VALENCIA

He was right, of course, if this was going to work she needed to open up. She was so used to being with guys who didn’t really care about her, who got annoyed by her emotions, and who would rather she disappear if she was upset. So how many times did Clark have to show her that he was nothing like that before she could believe it. How could she tell him that she trusted him and then act like this? It certainly wasn’t fair to him, and she needed to stop holding her past against him, because it wasn’t just that it wasn’t fair, it would probably just cause problems for them. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking away from him now as she failed to continue to fight off her tears. “I don’t want to disappear, I just want to be here with you, but I don’t-...” she wrapped her arms around herself again, wanting to be in his arms instead, but she’d already pulled away from him. “I’m so angry with myself and I don’t want to take it out on you, so I just thought not being here would be better.” Len bit her lip as she looked at him again, “April 5th was the day my parents died.” She finally blurted out. “It’s the anniversary of them dying, and I forgot about it. I was so happy, that I forgot. What kind of horrible person forgets something like that?”

CLARK

All Clark wanted to do was be a good boyfriend. At least, that’s all he wanted to do in that moment. It was clear that Valencia wasn’t in the mood to tell him what was going on, but that was not going to stop him from trying. He would not have been proud of himself if he just let her run off to her sister’s house without even really trying to talk her out of it. He wanted her to stay at their place. They had only lived together a short amount of time and the thought of them already having a fight and sleeping apart made him sick. “Don’t apologize,” he whispered out. His eyes met hers as she spoke, trying to read her emotions. She was upset and when she finally revealed why, it all made sense to him. He exhaled a deep breath as he thought over what to say to her. “You’re not a horrible person,” he finally said, letting out a small sigh. “Your parents would want you to be happy. They wouldn’t want you to be depressed today or any other day.” His voice cracked at the end of the sentence, clearly getting a little upset that she was so upset. “Len. I’m sorry. If you want to leave and go be with your sister. You can,” he paused, shaking his head. “But I want to be here for you. If you’ll let me.”

VALENCIA

She appreciated that he was telling her she didn't have to apologize, but she did have to, because she'd been unfair to him. "No, I am sorry." She said, stepping closer to him now, "I've never had someone care about me like this, and care about why I'm upset, and want me to talk to them. I'm not used to it, so I'm sorry." She mumbled. "I feel like the worst person on the planet," She added, "It's like the people that don't give a shit, I invite in with no problem, and the people that actually care, I push away." She sighed, shaking her head, "I don't want to fuck this up. I don't want to leave. I love being with my sister, but this where I want to be, I just thought if I stayed that I might chase you off, or something." She let her head drop now, hating hearing how his voice had cracked. Len stepped forward again, wrapping her arms around him now, hoping he still wanted to have contact with her.

CLARK

Clark reached his arms out for her after she took a step closer to him. He was still a little apprehensive about hugging her though. She hadn’t been too receptive of his hand on her shoulder earlier. He didn’t need her apology. What she was going through was understandable. He wasn’t going to hold it against her that she took her frustration out on him. He didn’t know what it was like to lose a parent, so he couldn’t hold it against even if he wanted to. it was a pain he had never experienced. “I am not going anywhere, okay? You can’t chase me off that easily,” he mumbled out with a shrug. He wrapped his arms around her as she did the same and pulled her body close to him, wanting her to feel just how much she wanted him there. “I don’t want you to go anywhere.” He brought his hand up and rested it against her back, letting her rest her head on his chest. “I’ll just stand here with you, if you want. Or you can talk to me about your parents. Or if you just want to lay down and watch something stupid on television, we can do that too.”

VALENCIA

She was more than grateful that he didn't pull away from her the way she did to him. "Okay," She whispered when he said he wasn't going anywhere, choosing to trust him like she said she did and believe it. Len felt her tears building as she rested her head against him, wondering how it was possible that anyone cared this much about her. "Why don't you lay down," She said softly, finally pulling away from him, "I'll get our slurpees." She gave him a soft smile, "Thank you." She added, and then bit her lip, "I can tell you about them if you want. I don't remember a lot, but I can tell you what I do remember. Maybe it will be good to talk about them for a little while."

CLARK

Clark was always going to want to wrap his arms around Valencia, especially when it was clear that she was upset. He knew that she had trust problems, but that didn’t deter him from wanting to make her understand that she was stuck with him. Even through the hard times, he really wasn’t going to go anywhere. He sent a weak smile in her direction and let out a sigh. “Just come back to me, okay? I can’t wait to hear about them,” he breathed out, pulling away from her to make himself comfortable on the bed. He didn’t want to pull away from her, but he trusted that she was just going to grab their drinks and then come back to their bedroom. Hopefully, her feeling to run off to her sister’s house was all gone and she wasn’t going to be leaving him anytime soon. “I’m sorry if they’re a little melted. I never put them in freezer.”

VALENCIA

The words caught her off guard, she wasn't usually the one to walk away, it was generally the other way around, it was her losing people. Clark wasn't losing her, not even close, but she understood the feeling and nodded at him as she left the room. Grabbing the semi-frozen drinks from the counter, she made her way back into the room, smiling a bit more genuinely now, handing him one drink and then climbing into the bed next to him. "They're perfect," She mused, "Less brain freeze this way." She smiled, settling in next to him, her head nestling onto his shoulder. "I love you," She said softly, leaning towards him to give him a kiss, and realizing that it was the first one she'd given him all night.