#vacuously
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From a falsehood, derive anything.
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i signed up for another class 👍
#the vacuousness of the courses i need to follow got to me#now i have to try and get up to speed to engineering systems dynamics modelling 🥰
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sure would be nuts if the funeral was shot like all the weddings have been and we didn't see any of the details of what actually happens up at the altar huh
#ik we saw connors eulogy for mo but that had specific reasons to be in the show#also the deliberate vacuousness meant it still sort of worked with the recurring thing of omitting the heart of personal events lol
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it’s so insidious that the latest thing to hit the online popular/cringe cycle is neurodivergence. just like lgbt issues before it, it’s being flattened into an online identity that can be cringe or can give clout. we are so massively divorced from material reality that the online discourse is focussed on self diagnosis and making sure everyone feels valid over accessibility concerns and the problems with psych as an industry.
#i’m not trying to take a ‘pro’ or ‘anti’ stance on certain discourses i just hate to see another real issue flattened in the popular#imagination by the vacuousity of social media discourse#screams into the void
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the thing i am thinking about w tumblr live is that it could be really nice for art streams and silly stuff like that. it's just that right now it's populated entirely by people frm the host network and so it sucks because its full of stuff most people come here to avoid.
if it didnt suck though or could be made to not suck id be interested to see what kind of stuff people did. tumblr does wild shit with every mechanic of social networking we have so far i wonder what kinds of weird behavior tumblr users would add into livestreaming -- esp because anonymity is paramount in the culture, like that is a factor super alien to a lot of streaming that isnt like, vtubers. (but most people use the mobile app, so like external streaming perihperal software would be hard to use so maybe no vtubers?) so how would anonymous streams work? would it tend towards something you could run in the background on a computer while you mostly use the site on your phone?
would everyone just run a personal radio station? would it be common to have silent streams? or like silent streams just pointed at something like a plant growing or a candle burning for a long time? would people stream watch parties or video games? idk fuckin. would puppet shows become common??
#i think they signed a multiyear contract so they cant like make it go away#should we all just suck it up and put things on there that are nice instead of evil...#idk#i am religiously snoozing it as well im sick of those models staring vacuously at me#but maybe if it was full of art and stuff it wouldnt be unwelcome
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I've been curious for a while what area of math you're studying? You're very knowledgeable about point set topology and talk about a bunch of very cool topics (locales come to mind) but I can't piece them together into a cohesive sense of what you could be studying?? This is surely because I'm not knowledgeable enough, to be clear, not because your math posts are inherently too scattered.
This is a rather funny ask. If I were to be only slightly unfair to myself the joke could easily be made that it is in fact the reality of the situation that my posts are scattered in a kaleidoscopic spectrum covering all areas of mathematics. I wouldn't go that far, but I do have pretty broad interests.
One cause of this symptom is the fact that I'm working on getting my bachelor's degree. There's simply not enough courses available at my uni to take only those that align with my passions. For example, this semester I took a course on algebraic curves, intro to dynamical systems, and a course on discrete decision theory. I'm also writing my bachelor's thesis on the geometric subject of scissors congruence. This makes for quite an eclectic posting pattern. If I was doing a master's program or doctorate I'm sure it'd be much more focused/monotonous.
I'd say my mathematical joie de vivre lies broadly in the areas adjacent to analysis, which I usually describe as 'spatial and algebraic reasoning'. They're often opposed, but they really are quite similar. It's all about creating your funny little structures to describe phenomena, whether those phenomena be in real world situations or in funny little structures you've created earlier.
Take the phenomenon of non-measurable sets. The problem of, say, Vitali sets is that they are of full measure in their interval, but they just so happen to be disjoint, so the additivity of measures dictates that the unit interval should have infinite measure. The usual solution to this is to say that, well, the measure of such sets does not play nice with disjoint union additivity, so we throw them out of the toy box and continue on our merry way with measure theory. Locale theory, on the other hand, poses that they are just as measurable as any other set, and indeed they have full measure. Additivity is saved by the fact that, localically, they are not disjoint. They are just too entangled with each other to be disjoint, even though they might not share any 'elements', as if those are important 🙄. To me, this is a solution that aligns much more with what the answer should be. This is one of the great joys of mathematics to me: finding the formal way of expressing what should be obviously true in the first place, and then exploring what consequences your way of expressing that have.
#math#see also: vacuously-true's question on a cardinality-valued random variable#what SHOULD the answer be? and how can we find that?#thank you for the question <3#also please correct me if i'm wrong on this example with vitali sets#it's just something i read in an andrej bauer article‚ i have not actually gotten far enough in locale theory to verify#also i AM knowledgeable about point set topology <:)
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I haven't used my notes in years. You cannot make my notes unusable in a way that matters
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dating sucks can i simply fall in love i’m very lovable
#opening up tinder etc. and immediately closing it because it’s vacuousness immediately hits me#and i simply go for a walk in my schools downtown
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Ulterior Motives
Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f! student Reader
Synopsis: Gojo becomes a little bit infatuated with his bratty new student.
Warnings: Explicit smut, noncon, teacher/student relationship (reader is 18+), possessive behavior, manipulation
Tags: Spanking, panty gag, dacryphilia, dirty talk, vibrators, bondage, orgasm torture, bratty reader, humiliation
Word Count: 24.4k
Notes: This one is for ABanonymous, I hope you didn't mind the wait and I especially hope you enjoy the story. The title IS a reference and if you know, you know.
Next requested fic I will have out next Saturday, and that's a pinky promise.
“Is this seat taken?”
Bored, a little tired, you turned your gaze up to the interloper with a rejection at the ready. You stopped at the cafe to warm up, you weren’t in the most social of moods.
But you didn’t say anything when you saw the speaker. Your lips were parted and ready, but the words puffed out as nothing more than air. There was something wrong about him. If you hadn’t been so utterly—perhaps even willfully—detached from your surroundings, you might have noticed sooner.
It was a trick of yours. Good for interviews, social gatherings, and first impressions. Bad for relationships, communication, and your general interest in other people. The girl with long, straight hair ordering a brown sugar bubble tea was annoyed. The man behind her was texting someone, likely his paramour, because his bad mood was being soothed with excitement and lust. The female half of the couple behind you was excited, her male partner was bored. Those were things you knew. Things you sensed as intuitively as you interpreted sounds from vibrations and visuals from light.
The tall, white-haired man standing above you wearing a dark uniform and white bandage over his eyes was a solid, unreadable wall. The energy surrounding him wasn’t emotional, it was manifested, strong bordering on physical and, most likely, very bad news. You looked around the cafe, searching for some further clues about this utterly bizarre stranger, but nobody else seemed especially interested beyond his odd appearance. You cleared your throat.
“Excuse me, what?” you asked, composing yourself.
“May I sit here?” he asked again, smiling.
This could be interesting. Or bad. You shrugged as if disinterested. “If you want to.”
He took the seat across from you, his smile fixed in place. “Thank you, I can’t stand drinking alone.”
“Of course.”
“I’m Satoru Gojo,” he said, undeterred by your unfriendly demeanor. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
You introduced yourself in turn, smoothing your hair and hoping you didn’t look too terrible. Could he even see you? Somehow, you got the feeling he could, but it didn’t look like the bandage was mesh.
“Did you hear about what happened at the City Central Library?” he asked, bracing his elbow on the table to cradle his head. “Nasty business.”
The words themselves were casual, but they left you with the same feeling as when you got caught sneaking out. That little pang of surprise, a stark interruption of suspense with panic and then a mental scramble as you tried to come up with a believable story that would get you out of trouble.
Did he know? That made the most sense, otherwise it was odd that he’d ask. But if he did know, you had no idea how he could, and had no way to guess how much he knew.
No response was worse than a bad one, so you fell back on the easiest and usually the most effective approach. “What happened?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows with a vacuously concerned expression. The kind of look that made it seem as if any question was so hopelessly complex, like the slightest problem was simply impossible for a girl as empty-headed as you to grasp.
“There was a gas leak of some kind,” Gojo said, his mouth set into a contemplative line. A second later, that solemn expression melted into a mischievous half-smile. “Rather, that’s what the news will report. We know better, don’t we?”
You frowned, your head tilting to the side and eyes curiously wide. “We do?”
“A curse manifested itself there. Nobody died, but it was close.”
“A curse?” you repeated slowly. “Are you talking about ghosts or something?”
“Something like that.”
You laughed, the light and ditzy airheaded kind of laugh. “Oh, come on. You’re teasing me, aren’t you.”
“When we interviewed the receptionist at the library,” Gojo said, his casual demeanor unaffected by your act, “she mentioned a young woman who stopped by and warned her that something bad was going to happen.”
“Oh?”
“Actually, I have three accounts of people saying that they were contacted before an incident involving a curse occurred. One of the tips was anonymous, but the third was at a construction site. The manager said that a pretty young woman approached him and warned that the conditions would be hazardous and he needed to be very careful. He’s in the hospital now.”
“That’s terrible,” you said, frowning. It was more of a pout, really.
Gojo pulled his phone out of his pocket. He clicked a few things on the screen—so he could see from behind the bandage, how odd—before holding it out for you to look at. It was security footage, presumably from the library. Although the quality was terrible, it didn’t take a genius to recognize that it was you in the video.
“This is from yesterday,” he said. “A curse was exorcized at this library earlier today.” He turned the screen to look at his phone, looking between you and the footage with theatrical scrutiny. “This does look a lot like you.”
“I don’t know who that is, but it can’t be me,” you said, pouting more. “I don’t even have a library card.”
“To be clear, I’m not accusing you of causing these incidents. If I thought you were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Gojo told you. He put his phone in his pocket, picking up his drink to mess with the straw. “How long have you been able to see them?”
“See what?”
“Curses. Evil spirits, whatever you like to call them.”
You stared at him for a long moment, trying to decide if you wanted to continue playing dumb. He obviously didn’t believe it. Besides, you were starting to get very curious about this strange not-blind man and the disconcerting amount of information he had about things he shouldn’t.
“As long as I can remember,” you finally answered, dropping the act.
“Do they scare you?” he asked, as unconcerned with your shift in demeanor as he had been with everything else.
“They’re definitely ugly,” you said. Gojo snorted in amusement at that. You looked down to consider a real answer, pushing the chunks of ice at the bottom of your cup around with the straw. “I’m not scared of them. They’re dangerous, but more like how a wild animal is dangerous.”
“Is that why you warn people?”
You shrugged.
“Hmm,” he hummed, stroking his chin thoughtfully, staring at you through the bandage. It really was a creepy feeling. “Something still isn’t adding up. Sorcerers are more likely to come into contact with curses, but you’re not reacting to cursed activity; you’re predicting it. Moreover, the places who reported your warnings have no other connection. It’s unlikely that you were coincidentally nearby to feel the cursed energy.”
“Sorcerers?” you asked, continuing to push your straw around your cup idly, the ice crackling.
“People who can see curses and manipulate cursed energy. You could also call them curse users. Of course, I don’t think you’re either. At least, not yet.” He gestured to you with his drink. “You’re avoiding the question.”
“You didn’t ask me a question.”
“Didn’t I?” he asked with a frown. “Ah, whatever,” he waved it off dismissively. “How are you finding and predicting curses?”
“I use a map,” you told him, like it was obvious. It was obvious to you, at least.
“A map,” he repeated bluntly. Without any aura to read, you wished you could see his eyes at least.
“That’s usually how you find things, isn’t it?”
“You’re saying that you have a map that tells you where curses will manifest?”
“You’re asking a lot of questions,” you said. “I don’t think I should be talking so openly to a strange and mysterious man.”
“Mysterious? I told you, I’m Satoru Gojo,” he said, placing a hand on his chest. “I’m a jujutsu sorcerer and a teacher at Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School. If anything, you’re the strange one for going around cryptically warning people about evil spirits. ”
You narrowed your eyes at him, pursing your lips. The logical part of your mind rejected everything he was saying outright, it sounded made up. Then again, you knew there was some truth to what he was saying, even if the words he used were different than your own. The fact was, it seemed like he had more information than you. You didn’t like that.
“You warn people about these curses in an attempt to protect them,” Gojo said, his tone softening a little as he tried to level with you, “but they never believe you, and so they get hurt anyway. Doesn’t that bother you?”
You shrugged. “It does sound pretty ridiculous.”
“It’s not ridiculous,” Gojo said. “Nobody believes you see the things you see, or that you have a very special gift, but I do. If you tell me how you predict these curses, I’ll teach you how to take care of the problem yourself. More than that, I can teach you how to use your cursed energy to do things nobody else can.”
He had you on the line with that one, and he knew it. You didn’t have to be able to read his aura or look in his eyes to understand that smug grin.
“I read once that mediums could perform a sort of dowsing technique with maps,” you said, giving in. “I’ve always had a knack for divination, so I tried it out. Even with my eyes closed and using different maps, I could reliably find and mark the same spot. It didn’t really turn out how I wanted it to though.”
“How so?”
“You’ve seen TV shows and videos about hauntings where ghost hunters dig up all kinds of scary and interesting stories, right? I was hoping it’d be like that. You know, exciting. Instead I marked a lot of schools and hospitals and that sort of thing.”
“That makes sense,” Gojo said. “Curses tend to congregate in places like that.”
“Well, I was disappointed. But then I started hearing news stories about people getting hurt in places that I marked on my map. I don’t know, I guess I didn’t want it on my conscience.”
Gojo nodded thoughtfully. “This… dowsing ability, can you do it on purpose, or does it happen randomly?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I got you a map right now, could you mark places where a curse will manifest?”
“It depends on if there’s a place on the map where a curse will manifest,” you said.
Rather than get offended by your cheeky response, Gojo carried on. “Are there any locations you’re watching out for at the moment? Other than the library, I mean.”
You considered that question. “I’ll tell you, but if this is for a TV show, I don’t consent to being on camera,” you said. “Not wearing this, at least.”
He laughed. “This is not for a TV show,” Gojo said. “Although, if it was, I don’t know why you would need to change your clothes. You’re cute, the messy look is endearing.”
“Ah, I guess you are blind after all,” you said imperiously, pulling out your phone to find the website of the other place you had marked. “There’s an antique shop. I don’t think anything has happened there yet. I tried calling, but the guy got angry. I guess lots of people try to claim things there are haunted to get a discount or something.”
“Do you have the address?”
“Yep, right… here-” You flipped the screen towards him. He peered at it for a second before smiling again.
“Oh, lucky! I know somebody who should be just nearby.” He pulled out his own phone, dialing a number.
“You said you exorcized the curse at the library,” you said, “will you do it there too?”
“If there’s a curse there, yes.” Gojo pressed call and put his phone to his ear. After a few rings, you heard a voice on the other end. The exchange was short, he gave the address and some words of encouragement. You couldn’t hear specifics, but it didn’t sound like the person was too pleased.
“I don’t know for sure that something is there,” you said after he lowered his phone.
“Have you ever been wrong?”
“I haven’t followed through on every lead,” you said. “There are potentially dozens of times that I’ve been wrong.”
“But all of the ones you’ve tracked have been correct, yes?”
You smiled. “Yes.”
“What an interesting ability,” he cooed. “And you possess a respectable amount of cursed energy. I knew it. You should come to study to be a jujutsu sorcerer.”
“What?”
“I told you that I could teach you how to use your abilities, didn’t I? You’re a bit old to be scouted, but everybody starts somewhere. I think you have the potential to be a great sorcerer.”
“You’re joking.”
“Not at all.”
“You said you teach high school, didn’t you?” you asked, raising your eyebrows. “I’m almost through my third year. It would be strange to transfer so late, I wouldn’t want to do anything to risk my graduation.”
“Do you have plans for after you graduate? Work? University?”
“I’m going to study business.”
“Really? You don’t strike me as the business type.”
You gave him a very flat look. “You don’t strike me as the teacher type.”
Gojo laughed. “You got me there. I’m only saying that you go to university so you can get a job, right? If you study at Jujutsu Tech, you will have a guaranteed job upon graduation.”
“What kind of job?”
“Exorcizing curses, saving the world, that kind of thing,” he said, waving his hand casually. “It’s not something many people can do, you know. You have to be a special mixture of brave and crazy to face curses knowing you could get hurt—knowing that others could get hurt if you fail. It’s tiresome, scary, and you very rarely see much of a reward.”
“You’re not exactly selling this.”
“Really?” Gojo asked. “You look plenty interested to me. You don’t want to live the rest of your life being normal and bored, do you? You’re too special for that.”
You blew out a big breath, trying to think independently of this whole bizarre situation and the fact that his flattery was more effective than it should have been.
“I’m still not sure I believe you,” you said. “Isn’t there some sort of saying that you should never trust somebody who hides their face? An innocent young girl like me could get hurt trusting scary men like you.”
“Scary?” Gojo repeated.
“You are, aren’t you? I can feel it.”
“You mean that you can sense my cursed energy?”
“Is that like an aura?” you asked. “Because I can’t read yours. That hardly ever happens.”
“Aura?”
You narrowed your eyes. “You know, spiritual energy and emotion and that sort of thing.”
“Ah, this might be a difference in terminology. This is cursed energy,” Gojo said, raising his hand and curling his fingers as if holding something. The intimidating energy that surrounded him pooled there, a dark shroud around his hand. All of the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end, the discomfort prickling like thousands of little needles poking against your skin. “Is this what you mean?”
“No, that’s… Bleh,” you said, exaggerating your shudder. “I’m talking about aura. People’s emotions, their mental state. I think your cursed energy is stifling yours, I don’t know. Or maybe you’re not human.”
“Maybe,” he agreed, lowering his hand, the dark energy flowing back into him. “I think you have the potential to be a wonderful sorcerer.”
“Really?”
“I’ll teach you. I’m the best, you know. Aren’t you tired of knowing that there’s a problem you can’t fix? Do you think you can live a life of ignorance now that you know there are answers?”
Before you could respond, his phone rang.
“Yes?” Gojo asked, taking the call. Whatever the person on the other end said made him smile. “Sure, sure. You can’t leave it there, I’ll transfer you the money… Yes, of course.”
He hung up and leaned forward, dropping the phone and cradling his cheek in his hand.
“There was a cursed object there,” he told you. “It would have been a while before the seal unraveled enough to be noticeable, but it was only a matter of time before it began attracting curses.”
“If you take it away, that means the place will be safe?”
“We’ll keep an eye on it to be sure, but, generally, yes. You saved innocent people from being harmed by an unseen evil. They will be allowed to continue on living their boring, mundane lives. That’s what a jujutsu sorcerer does.”
You nodded thoughtfully. It was the smartest choice to simply reject him and leave and move on with your life.
Most likely.
Absolutely.
But when you mentally followed that course of action to its completion, you knew that a part of you would always exist in this little cafe sitting across from the strangest man you had ever met considering an offer that scared and excited you. You would always wonder about the answers he promised, every day you would wonder if there was something more.
“If everything you’re saying is true-” you began.
“It is.”
“-then I’ll consider it.”
Gojo smiled. “I’ll have Ijichi get your transfer paperwork pushed through. We’ll have to move fast, you have a lot of missed time to make up for. You don’t mind, do you?”
“I said that I’ll consider it,” you told him, taken aback by his presumptuousness.
“Sure, sure,” he said, waving his hand dismissively. “I’ll be in contact soon, okay? Be ready.”
Despite your attempt to retain a certain amount of resistance and control over the situation, things moved exactly as fast as Gojo said they would. He was telling the truth about all of it. There was such a place as Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School, and he was a teacher, and although being such a late transfer was weird, it was all legitimate.
The explanations were easier than you thought too. Mom was utterly charmed by Satoru Gojo. He came to your house wearing expensive clothes and a pair of sunglasses with his white hair flipped boyishly over his brow and explained the situation with a big, charming smile and the most disarmingly blue eyes you had ever seen and she was putty in his hands. She didn’t always believe you about spirits—curses, as Gojo called them—but she believed it from him, enthusing about how she’d always known you were special, and that you could do things nobody else could. It was moments like sitting in the room seeing Mom’s aura flash and sparkle with attraction and desire that made you wish you didn’t have the ability to see them.
Not even two weeks after the cafe conversation with Satoru Gojo, you were packing up and moving to live on the Tokyo Jujutsu High campus grounds. As you packed, you thought a lot about the first time you saw an evil spirit. You screamed and screamed. It wasn’t until your grandmother came and comforted you that you calmed down. She had that effect on people. Making them comfortable, making them feel safe.
Throughout your life, you flirted with divination and spirits and dark energy mostly for your own gain and amusement, but she was a real deal spiritual woman. If she were alive, she wouldn’t have liked who you were. That had been true for a while. You wondered what she would think of you going to study to exorcize curses, if that would have met with her approval. You wondered what dad would think. It had always been his plan that you should go to university. He wanted you to be educated before you got married. Funny, because he abandoned his university educated career-driven wife for some ditzy young thing he met at a bar.
It was kind of funny to think that, in the end, you wouldn’t go to university and you wouldn’t get married. Spite wasn’t a good primary reason to do something, but you couldn’t deny the frantic heat of its inspiration.
“I don’t know,” Haruka said, her voice distorted through your phone’s speaker as you unpacked your things. The room you were given on the Jujutsu Tech campus was larger than you thought it would be, although it didn’t look nearly so big with your stuff strewn everywhere. Mom laughed at your materialism, but you didn’t want to be underprepared. “I like him, but I don’t think he likes me back.”
You slipped a shirt onto its hanger, rolling your eyes at her dramatics. “The only way you’ll know is if you ask him.”
“It’s weird for him, I think. ‘Cause I’m still in school. I mean, there’s barely a year difference between us, but… I don’t know. Maybe it is weird. If my mom knew I was dating Ikki, she’d flip out.”
“Then don’t ask him out.”
Haruka sighed. “I wish she was like your mom. She lets you do basically whatever you want.”
That stung, although you weren’t entirely sure she meant it to. “The way I see it,” you said, sidestepping that comment, “it won’t be weird after you’re out of school. Wait a few months, it’s not like you’re going to have time with exams going on.”
“I wish you were here. Now when I make bad decisions I don’t have anyone to blame them on.”
You laughed. “I was thinking the same thing. I can’t copy your homework anymore, why even bother being friends?”
“Because,” Haruka said, clearly taking offense, “I am-”
“Knock knock,” somebody called through the open door, startling you. You turned to watch Gojo come in, looking around your room while Haruka rattled off all of the many reasons she was an invaluable friend to you. Well, you assumed he was looking around your room. He had returned to the bandages covering half his face, hiding his impossibly beautiful eyes.
“One second, Haruka… Can I help you?” you asked him, raising an eyebrow to hide the flicker of excitement you felt seeing him.
“Oh, are you talking to someone?” Gojo asked. “I can come back later.”
“Ah, no, that’s fine,” you told him, very easily deciding that you would rather talk to him than listen to Haruka’s boy troubles. “Haru, I’ve gotta go,” you said, picking up your phone. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Is that a man’s voice?” she asked. “Why is he in your room, what kind of school is that? Is-”
You ended the call, cutting her off. “Do you need something?” you asked.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”
“You didn’t,” you said, returning to hanging up your clothes. “Although she’s probably going to tell everyone this whole transfer thing was an elaborate lie to cover for the fact that I got knocked up and ran away with some guy. I’m not sure why, but nobody believes I’ve dedicated myself to a strict religious lifestyle.”
“How much do they know about your abilities?” Gojo asked, walking over to your bed and sitting down, grabbing one of the stray magazines off the floor. He flicked through the glossy pages of fashion advice and gossip with a distinct lack of interest.
You snorted, hanging up one of your last few dresses. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Not at all,” Gojo said, dropping the magazine to flip through another. “It can be very isolating to keep such a big secret from the people closest to you.”
“It would be such a drag to explain,” you said. “Besides, nobody wants to know that things like curses exist. They just want to live their normal lives where things make sense.”
Gojo hummed in amusement. “Is that really the only reason?”
The tone of his voice set you on edge. It sounded like he was implying something. “What do you mean?”
“It would make things more difficult for you if anybody knew you could read their mind, wouldn’t it?”
You frowned at him, although he didn’t seem to be paying attention. “First of all,” you said, putting a hand on your hip, “I can’t read minds. Second of all, it’s not like I’m actively trying to spy on people. I can’t help it.”
“Calm down,” he said with a smile, tossing the magazine aside. “I wasn’t making any comment on your character. It was an observation.”
“Right,” you said, forcing yourself to let it go. “By the way, where is everyone else? The rooms around me all look empty.”
Gojo waved his hand nonchalantly, standing up. “There aren’t any other third year girls.”
“Did something happen?”
“No, it’s not abnormal. Jujutsu sorcerers are extremely rare.” Gojo walked towards the wall you had half covered with various posters and decorations. “I heard your admission interview went well.”
“Of course it did,” you said, smiling. He didn’t see it, too focused on the map. You had it set up on your wall like you had at home, ready in case the mood struck.
“That’s the library,” Gojo said, tapping a finger against the marked spot. His fingers were long. Considering his abnormal height, it was hardly surprising. It was attractive though. You shut that thought down fast. You could acknowledge it as a fact, but he was your teacher now. Besides, he probably had women throwing themselves at him from all angles, you’d rather be celebate than be reduced to one of the many.
“And right there,” you said, coming up behind him to point at another mark, “is the-”
“Antique shop,” he shot you a smile over his shoulder. “What an interesting ability.”
“Isn’t this sort of thing normal for, um, jujutsu sorcerers?” you asked, the term coming out a little awkwardly.
“Not at all. Sorcerers are highly individualistic. There are inherited techniques, but many of them are unique to the sorcerer. They’re innate, carved into your frontal lobe.” He tapped his forehead, turning towards you.
“But you can do the same thing,” you said. “Reading people’s auras and all of that.” You grinned, raising your eyebrows playfully. “You’ve got a third eye.”
“Six Eyes, actually,” Gojo said. “Although it does seem like you have a related form of extrasensory perception.” He threw an arm around your shoulders, swaying you back and forth. “You’re a little mini me! Isn’t that exciting?”
The sudden touch made you stiffen up, too surprised to react immediately. The only coherent thought you had was that he smelled really good. You shook that out of your head, pushing at his arm in a half-hearted attempt to get some space.
“What can you do then?” you asked. “Can you teach me?”
Gojo stopped swaying you around. “Weren’t you listening to anything I said? Jujutsu techniques are-”
“-innate and unique,” you finished for him. “But you can teach me how to get better at my own techniques if they’re like yours, right?”
“Ah, ah, ah,” Gojo said, stepping away. “If you try to run before you learn to walk, you’ll fall on your face. You’re getting a late start, so you’re going to have to work hard.” He raised his pointer finger to lecture you. “You’ll start by getting control over your cursed energy.”
“Okay,” you said, nodding. “How do I do that?”
“First! You clean your room,” he said. “It’s a mess in here. Then come to the classroom. I’ll have to find Oyama.”
“Who’s Oyama?”
“The other third year. He’ll be able to help you when I’m not here.”
“You’re leaving?”
“Are you disappointed?” Gojo cooed, leaning forward to put himself on your level, pursing his lips in a mocking display of pity. “As much as I would love to teach my cute little student personally, I have obligations to fulfill as a sorcerer. I hope you don’t miss me too much in the meantime.”
You gave him a flat look, hiding your genuine disappointment behind your irritation at the mockery. “I’m sure I’ll live.”
“That’s the spirit!” Gojo said, patting your head. “Okay!” He stood up straight, turning away. “Don’t take too long,” he called as he left, “I hate having to wait.”
“I’m sure this will only take me four or five hours,” you said. “Maybe six. I hope you don’t miss me too much in the meantime.”
Gojo didn’t respond to your taunt, shooting you a final smile over his shoulder, one that was all blinding white teeth. The covered eyes made it more menacing than playful.
“I hate it when you ignore my calls,” Mom said. “It’s been over a week since you gave me any sort of update. There’s only so much time I have to talk to you, so when you don’t answer, I have no idea what to think.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” you said in as apologetic a voice as you could fake, holding your phone between your ear and shoulder as you did your nails. It was a futile effort, there was no way you could keep your hands manicured. All you could do was fight back your cuticles and paint your nails knowing they would be chipped the next day. “I spend all my time training, studying, or exhausted from training and studying. Do you remember Gojo talking about how being a late transfer meant a lot of extra work? I want to succeed here, so I have to put in the work.”
As you hoped, the apology and mention of Gojo quelled some of her fire. “Oh, well, I still expect you to keep me informed.”
“I know,” you said. “Really, there’s not much to say.” Other than going out on a mission with Oyama for the first time and helping him exorcize a nasty curse that you helped to find with your unique ability, but you weren’t going to tell her that. You were saving that for when Gojo came back from whatever mission he was off doing. Instead, you painted a lick of red onto your pinky nail, carefully working the color into the edges. “How are you?” you asked her. “You mentioned you were seeing that guy from the lab?”
“Didn’t I tell you? I had to end things with him,” Mom said. “He was a real piece of work.”
“Oh, no you didn’t. I’m sorry,” you apologized, capping the nail polish bottle and appraising your hands. Serviceable, under the circumstances.
“You know how men are. You think they’re fine, but they turn out to be completely crazy.” She huffed, you could imagine the way she would shake her head. “Actually, I’ve been spending some time with a man from the second floor. It’s going really well.”
“Oh, that’s exciting!” you exclaimed with enthusiasm, rolling your eyes. She was almost as bad as Haruka with the boy drama. You wanted her to be happy, of course you did, but having to hear about her messy romantic life got tiresome.
“When you get back, maybe the four of us can go out for dinner.”
“Four?”
“He has a daughter. She’s a little younger than you, I’m sure the two of you would get along really well.”
“Yeah, that sounds fun,” you said, really scooping deep to manage an enthusiastic tone. “I’m just not sure when I’ll be able to get some time away. Like I said, I’m very busy.”
“It’s been two months, surely you can ask Gojo for one weekend home.”
“I’ll ask him,” you told her, making sure she could hear your doubt. Hopefully this fling wouldn’t last long, you really couldn’t stomach the thought of feigning interest in some stranger’s daughter.
Content that your nails were dry, you peeled your phone away from your ear.
“But I’ve gotta go for now,” you told her. “I promised Oyama I’d study with him. You know, final exams.”
Another lie, although one you didn’t feel as bad about. In reality, final exams at Jujutsu Tech weren’t at all like at a normal school. You would still be graduating, but not through lengthy tests. It felt a little cheap to have all of your studying go to waste, but you weren’t about to complain.
“Yes, of course,” Mom replied. “Don’t forget to keep me informed, alright?”
“Got it,” you said. “I’ll talk to you later. Love you, bye.”
“Love you.”
You hung up, tossed your phone to the side, and uncapped the bottle to paint your toenails.
Gojo returned a few days later with kitschy souvenirs from some small village you had never heard of and a big smile, eager to hear how you were progressing. For that matter, you were eager to share it with him. He hadn’t been gone too long, but you were working harder than you ever had before, and getting better accordingly.
“Okay!” Gojo said, leaning against the edge of his desk. “Tell me everything I’ve missed. How is your training?”
“I’m getting a lot better at controlling my cursed energy,” you said. “You can tell, can’t you?”
“I can,” Gojo said, the corner of his mouth lifting in a little smile. “What about your hand-to-hand training?”
You frowned at how quickly he brushed over your impressive accomplishment. Even Oyama was a little impressed by how quickly you adapted to the natural movement of cursed energy. Once again, you tried to get a read on Gojo’s state of mind to know what he was thinking, but it was as impossible as before.
“I got punched in the face for the first time,” you said.
The comment didn’t have the intended effect of eliciting amusement or confusion. Instead: “Did you deserve it?”
“What?” you asked, indignant. “No, not like that. I was sparring with Oyama and I realized that I’d never been punched in the face, so I asked him to. It seems like the sort of thing I needed to experience.”
“And what did you learn?”
“That Oyama enjoyed it way too much, and I needed to buy waterproof mascara. It made my eyes water like crazy.”
Gojo laughed, but didn’t give you anything else to work with.
“I’ve also learned that I’m really not into fistfighting,” you said, finally being serious. “I’ll definitely want to use weapons.”
“Your cursed technique is more effective the closer you are to the opponent, isn’t it?” Gojo asked. “So you’ll want something that can work at very close range.”
“But first I’ll have to learn how to reliably close the distance. I’m not fast enough. Yet.”
Gojo nodded thoughtfully. “Speed is important, but reading your opponent is more valuable in that situation,” he said. “If you ask nicely, I may be able to help.”
“I have to ask?”
He sighed dramatically. “My time is in high demand.”
“Some teacher you are,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes in as exaggerated of a way as possible.
“Watch your tone,” Gojo told you, wagging a finger. “You don’t want detention, do you?”
“I’m so sorry, sensei,” you said, batting your eyelashes. “I didn’t mean to disrespect you.”
He didn’t immediately respond to the taunt which, when you couldn’t get a read on his mood anyway, was oddly unsettling.
“You’re lucky I’m such a kind, patient man,” he finally said, his voice softer than before. “That cheeky tone could get you in trouble.”
“I’ve heard that you’re way worse,” you said. “I’ve heard that all of the higher-ups think you’re a nuisance. I’m only trying to be more like you, sensei.”
“You might find you don’t enjoy where that gets you,” he said. The tenor of his voice was playful, but the tension beneath wasn’t.
“You wouldn’t do anything,” you said, hoping to laugh it off.
He smiled, but didn’t laugh.
“I heard what happened in Shinjuku,” Gojo said before things got too awkward. “You were able to identify the type and motivation of the curses and warn Oyama. That’s impressive.”
“Oh… Yeah, thank you,” you said. “It wasn’t that difficult once I understood what type of place it was. Officially, it was a club, but that was only a front for their prostitution scheme. Of course the curses would hate men.”
“You know, I’ve been thinking, with proper honing, you might reach a point where you can perceive the nature of a technique before it can be used against you.”
“Really?” you asked, excited by the idea. It sounded like an impressive trick.
“It’s possible, certainly. But,” he pointed at you, “you’re a long way off from developing a skill that complex. Don’t get distracted from working on the basics.”
“I know, I know,” you said, trying not to seem too petulant. “I know I have to practice with my cursed energy, but sensing things about people and curses, that’s intuitive.”
“It’s hard on you, isn’t it?” Gojo asked, although it wasn’t much of a question. “Your ability is empathetic, not sympathetic. To understand what you’re facing, you have to let it in. That can be very dangerous. You have to carefully control it.”
“It’s not comfortable,” you allowed. “But I can do it.”
“To know the nature of the curse is to be confronted with the absolute worst of humanity, and it very well could end with you cursing them in turn.”
“I won’t let it get to me.”
“Not to mention how dangerous it is, I’ve known sorcerers who are rendered entirely catatonic just through proximity to especially strong curses, and that’s with their defenses up.”
“I can handle it,” you insisted, frowning.
Gojo paused, considering you with his head tilted curiously to the side.
“You said you asked Oyama to punch you in the face,” he said. “You might be a bit of a masochist, but I assume you were looking for that experience in a controlled environment.”
“Yeah, something like that,” you said, too caught off guard by the change of topic to properly react to the masochist comment.
“That’s smart, actually,” Gojo said. “Come here, I want to show you something.”
“Show me what?” you asked, frowning.
“The danger of special grade cursed energy. Come here, I don’t want to cast too wide a net and catch anyone else. This is for educational purposes only, alright?”
“Okay,” you said, hopping off your desk and approaching him.
“What do you feel?” Gojo asked, pushing away from the big desk to stand up straight. His height continuously took you by surprise. Maybe you’d find loafers with more of a heel, it was annoying to have to look up at him like this.
“Not much. You’re as mysterious as ever,” you said, an unmistakable note of bitterness in your tone.
“Okay then. Are you ready?” Gojo asked.
“Go ahead,” you said, bracing yourself. You knew cursed energy, you had felt it both from sorcerers and actual curses. You thought you were prepared.
You were not prepared.
Cursed energy flared out around him in an oppressive wave, capturing you in its field. The only thing you could think was that you were going to die. There was nothing you could think to compare it to. Fear flooded your system, it was all that existed. Not the fear of pain or death or any human threat, but complete and total destruction. Cellular annihilation, the ruination of the thing that was ‘you’ until not one part remained. You couldn’t move. His cursed energy snuffed that out, squishing down everything that wasn’t animalistic terror. When your legs gave out, you barely felt it, only the weakness of your body caving in. Gojo caught you before you fell, holding you up against him.
“The way you feel right now,” Gojo muttered, his voice soft and low, “this is what it is to be truly helpless. This is what you’re ultimately up against. Unless you’re prepared to endure the depths of hell, your arrogant curiosity will destroy you.”
Just like that, it was over.
You sobbed, hiding your face against his chest. It was pathetic, but you couldn’t control the entirely bodily reaction now that you were arrested with blind fear. Your body was practically vibrating from how violently you were shaking. Never in your life had you experienced such horrific, visceral fear. It was worse than you would have thought, even though you were never actually in any danger.
“Ah, maybe that was too much,” Gojo said regretfully, patting your back.
“Wha-aa-as that-t yo—uor te-eh-chnique?” you asked, your stammered words muffled against his chest. How embarrassing.
“That? No. If I had used my technique, your brain would be mush right now.” Gojo ran his hand over your hair, almost affectionately stroking it. “Do you need me to carry you to your room? I wouldn’t mind.”
Your hands tightened in the front of his uniform, although you couldn’t recall when you began holding onto him. Gojo hummed, petting your hair again, his hand idly lowering to your back, and then your waist, and your hip.
It was only a flicker, a fraction of a second, but you felt the barest whisper of glee. Lust. For blood or otherwise, you didn’t have the capacity to tell, but the impression was in such stark opposition to your own tumultuous feelings that it startled you.
You gasped, stumbling away from Gojo like he’d shocked you. Luckily, you managed to catch yourself on the edge of one of the desks rather than fall. He was, as ever, completely inscrutable. Whatever you thought you felt, it was gone as fast as it struck.
Unable to read anything else from the man, you decided that it was your imagination, a subsequent reaction born from a panicked brain. It was difficult to hold onto the feeling of primal terror now that it wasn’t actively battering down your defenses. Without any actual danger, your brain couldn’t generate the same intensity. With shaking hands, you wiped beneath your eyes, keeping them averted.
“That was embarrassing, I’m sorry,” you said.
“This isn’t too bad of a reaction. It’s kind of cute, actually.”
“Oh, yeah, definitely,” you agreed with breathless sarcasm, trying very hard to compose yourself. “For the record, I preferred being punched in the face.”
“I’m sure,” Gojo said with a little laugh. “Well,” he clapped his hands together, effectively ending the report, “you look like you could use a break, let’s go see what’s for lunch.”
“It’s so stupid,” Haruka said, her sniffling voice crinkling through your phone's speaker.
You laid on your back while listening to her cry, staring at your dorm’s plain ceiling. Things with Ikki hadn’t gone well. Normally you could at least pretend to care about her love life, but your thoughts were elsewhere.
“I knew he didn’t like me, I just thought since he was so nice and-”
It pissed you off to be so consumed by thoughts of one man, but it felt like there was a whirlpool in your head. You could fight it for a while, but all too soon your thoughts would return to your enigmatic teacher. Back and forth, back and forth, you bounced between trying to convince yourself to be realistic about yourself and the creeping paranoia that there was something going on.
Gojo was a very physical sort of person. It was conceited to think he’d be interested in you when he was attractive enough to get any woman he reasonably wanted. He was only helping you. It wasn’t intimate. Even if it felt a little strange, that was normal for combat training, wasn’t it?
He was interested in you. He was taking advantage of his role as your teacher, teasing you for his own amusement. That flash of lust was real, and it warned you of danger. The awkward nerves you felt around him were rational.
Back and forth and back and forth and-
“Hello?” Haruka snapped.
“Ah, um, yeah, I’m really sorry, Haru,” you said, realizing after a beat of silence that you had missed your cue.
“Whatever. I know you don’t get it.” She sniffed and then cleared her throat, composing herself. “I don’t suppose you know any hot guys, do you?”
“No dice,” you told her, although your thoughts went in a different direction. Gojo was hot, but he was also older than you and your teacher and there was no way. You rubbed your temple as if you could physically drive out the intrusive thoughts. It was pure ego.
In any other situation, you would be able to check for sure, but not with him. That was it. You didn’t know, and so you were making assumptions. Everything was normal, you were the one acting like a fool, self-obsessed enough to think you were getting the attention of an attractive older man.
“When you visit, we’ll have to go out looking for guys,” Haruka said. “I want to do something crazy before classes start.”
“I’m sure I can find a way to sneak out,” you joked. Mostly joking. You weren’t confined on campus, it was a little hard to find time.
That weekend, Gojo was gone, Oyama was busy, and you had the day to yourself. Rather than wasting it on campus, you hopped on a bus to the Tokyo station and took the train to Yokohama. You thought you would feel different returning to familiar stomping grounds after being away so long, but you didn’t. Nothing ever really changed.
That thought struck you especially when you spotted a pretty girl in a red sundress lackadaisically scrolling on her phone on a bench at the station. Haruka Inaba consistently scored top marks in every class, volunteered at hospitals in her free time, and reigned over the school’s tennis club throughout her second and third year of high school. She was the type of girl other girls wished they were.
A cursory look over your social media timeline would present picture after picture of the two of you having fun together, and she was the only person you had ever told about your dad leaving your mom for a younger woman. In short, she was your best friend.
Although, it might have been more accurate to say you had entered into an alliance. Everybody had a face they preferred other people didn’t see, when you were honest with someone that made you close, but didn’t necessarily foster a lot of affection.
“I hope you didn’t wait too long,” you said, greeting her with a smile.
“It was no big deal,” she told you. “The station’s on the way to the mall anyway.”
“Well then, shall we?” you asked.
“Of course,” Haruka said, getting to her feet and tossing her hair back to expose her perfectly smooth neck and shoulder, a very practiced gesture. “I’m surprised your mom didn’t come. You haven’t seen her since you left, have you?”
Internally, you rolled your eyes at how obvious the question was. Testing pressure points, or just looking for gossip.
“She’s a busy woman, I wouldn’t ask her to spend her day off with me,” you lied as you shuffled into the crowd of foot traffic flowing out of the station and onto the street. Mom didn’t even know you were in town. “Besides, I hate shopping with her.”
“That’s fair. What are you looking for today?”
“Athletic wear that isn’t hideous.”
“Do you do a lot of exercise at that new school of yours?” she asked, saying ‘school’ like it was a joke.
You shrugged. So far, you had been vague about Jujutsu Tech. It was impossible to be specific without sounding insane. Besides, Haruka only wanted to know more so she could dismiss the idea that you were special enough to be scouted for an incredibly upscale and mysterious school and she wasn’t.
“A bit,” you said. “What time are we meeting Fumiko and Kaoru?”
“The movie starts at four-fifteen,” Haruka told you.
“Oh, Ikki’s coming too,” you said. “I hope you don’t mind, Kaoru invited him before I could ask him not to.”
Haruka smiled tightly, her aura flashing aggressively. “Why would I mind?”
You let that one go, knowing better than to rub it in.
After that, you and Haruka relaxed into a far more superficial, casual dynamic. Clothes were a great unifier, and she had great taste.
The world was set right. No curses, no fighting, no second guessing people’s feelings. The other three showed up around lunch. There was still some strain with Haruka and the ever-oblivious Ikki, but you pretended you didn’t notice. The movie was boring, the dinner conversation even more-so, but you were rewarded with a milkshake out in the open air plaza.
Haruka and Fumiko were arguing with Kaoru about action versus drama movies. You wondered what type of movie Gojo preferred, if either. He was capable of stunts cooler than any action hero, but you weren’t sure he’d buy into drama either.
Was that some sort of mystical divination, your errant thoughts predicting the future? Probably not, although it was concerning that your thoughts would stray to him so easily.
You realized someone was behind you a fraction of a second before their big hands were covering your eyes. “Guess who,” he said. He, as in, one of the few people who could easily sneak up on you, who could make you nearly jump out of your skin, your cursed energy flaring and heart racing.
You grabbed Gojo’s wrists, pulling his hands away from your eyes and turning to face him. He wore a casual button-up, a pair of retro round lensed sunglasses, and a huge grin.
“Who are you?” Ikki asked, his body tensed and halfway out of his seat.
“It’s alright,” you said, putting a hand on his arm. “This is…” you said, looking at Gojo as you tried to think of an answer.
“I’m her teacher, Satoru Gojo,” he finished for you with a megawatt smile, waving to your friends. Haruka looked impressed, her eyes dragging over him without even an attempt at subtlety. The other three looked at him with a range from mild interest to outright hostility.
“I thought you were on a mi—a business trip,” you said.
“I finished early,” Gojo said, wedging himself between you and Ikki to wrap an arm around your shoulder. The stool was high enough that he didn’t have to lean down very much, but he still almost pulled you out of the seat. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?” His face was right next to yours. You couldn’t look at him, not when he was peering over the top of his sunglasses, giving you the full weight of his beautiful eyes.
You cleared your throat, irritated that he would go out of his way to embarrass you. “This is Ikki, Haruka, Fumiko, and Kaoru,” you told him, gesturing to them in turn.
“You’re more than welcome to join us, Gojo,” Haruka said, leaning forward with her eyes fixed directly on Gojo. “She’s spoken very highly of you.”
“She didn’t say you were so young,” Ikki said, clearly disgruntled by the way Gojo had pushed him aside. “Are you really a teacher?”
“Ah, you flatter me!” Gojo said, laughing a little louder than appropriate. “Well, as much as I would love to stick around to hear embarrassing stories about my cute little student, it’s time for us to get going.” He released you, standing up straight. “It was nice meeting you all.”
He couldn’t be serious.
“Us?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes. There’s something we need to do before going back to campus. It’s time sensitive, we have to hurry.”
“I’m kind of in the middle of something,” you said. “Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”
“No, it can’t. Come on.”
You played out the scenario where you continued to argue, but all of them ended with the same eventuality. He was, no matter what else, your teacher. Sighing dramatically, you slung your bags over your arm and stood up.
“I guess I have to go,” you said. “It was fun, I’ll see you later.” Fumiko and Kaoru smiled back, but Haruka was fixated on Gojo. You could practically see the hearts swirling in her aura. Ikki was unamused on the edge of hostile, glaring at Gojo who had put his hands in his pockets, unconcerned.
“Okay,” you said, turning away from your friends. “Lead the way.”
Gojo smiled. “Don’t worry,” he told you, taking off with his long-legged strides, “it’s not far.”
“Is there a job?” you asked, trotting behind him to catch up. The plaza was congested with the late afternoon crowd, it was a bit of a battle to make your way out until you reached the equally crowded sidewalk.
“It’s something very important,” Gojo told you. “Time is of the essence. Can’t you walk any faster?”
“In these shoes?” you asked incredulously, coming to a stop beside him as you waited for the crosswalk light to turn.
“I’ve never understood that,” Gojo said, looking at your feet. “Why wear something that you can’t move around in? I’d hate that.”
“Because these shoes are adorable and they make my legs look great,” you said, once again rushing to keep up with him as he crossed the road.
“Oho?” Gojo asked, slowing his stride to look at you with a smile. “Are you trying to impress somebody?”
“I want to impress everyone,” you said.
“It was that guy you were sitting next to, wasn’t it?” he asked knowingly. “Are you dating?”
“Ikki?” you asked. Your nose scrunched up at the idea, you could only imagine Haruka’s reaction. “No, we’re not.”
“Really? He was very protective of you.”
You shrugged, not really interested in that particular topic.
“How was your trip?” you asked, prompting him to tell you about England. When you thought about the city of London, you imagined big stone castles crawling with translucent ghosts in huge gowns, but he said it was just a regular city with regular boring curses.
You weren’t as disappointed by that as you might have been otherwise, too busy trying to keep up. Apparently, not far meant something completely different to Gojo than to you, although part of that was that he refused to slow down for your sake. It was almost like he was amused by forcing you to scramble behind him, but you didn’t want to think he would be that rude just for his own entertainment.
It was a huge relief when he stopped in front of a collection of businesses. “Wait here,” Gojo said, grabbing your shoulders and pressing down as if to plant you in place.
“Yes, sir.”
He went into the store and you waited dutifully, looking around at the people passing by. You felt out the area curiously, but there wasn’t much. People’s auras that projected regular, boring emotions and some vague, stale residuals, the tumultuous swirl of rotten energy that swarmed the city like a foul stench. Nothing out of the ordinary.
It was difficult not to replay his questions in your head, it really only added to the confusing mess of nerves and doubt you felt when you thought about Gojo. Why would it matter if you were dating Ikki or not? It wasn’t his business whatsoever. But really, not that you would ever openly acknowledge it, the idea that Satoru Gojo would give you attention in that way was thrilling. Not good, not bad, just thrilling. It was because of who he was, you knew that rationally, and you knew that was a weird and childish way to think. There was no way he had any inappropriate sentiments towards you, no more than you did him.
When you thought about it like that, you just got irritated. With him and with yourself.
“Okay!” Gojo called, easily catching your attention as he left the store and came to stand by you. He held a little box from the bakery, although you couldn’t see what was in it. “Close your eyes and say ‘ahh’.”
“What?” you asked, your eyebrows furrowing.
“Come on, do it,” he insisted.
You did as he said, making no attempts to hide your exasperation. Gojo pushed a pastry puff into your mouth, leaving a smear of cream over your bottom lip.
Chewing the pastry, you opened your eyes to Gojo’s eager smile. “Well? Delicious, right?” he asked, licking off the extra cream from the fingers that had just been in your mouth.
You nodded as you swallowed, more distracted by the way his tongue ran along his long fingers than the flavor. Which was ridiculous. “Are we waiting for someone?” you asked, forcing yourself to focus on that instead.
“No, we’re going back to campus. These are the best profiteroles I’ve ever tasted. We had to hurry—they make a fresh batch for the evening crowd.”
“So… there’s no job?” you asked.
“I never said it was,” he told you, popping another pastry in his mouth.
“This was the thing that was so important that I couldn’t spend time with my friends that I never see?” you pushed. “You’re not serious.”
“Are you mad?” Gojo asked. “I got some just for you.”
“I haven’t seen them in a long time,” you said. “And you were acting weird.”
“You are mad,” Gojo said, frowning. “I only wanted to share something nice with you. After all, you’ve been working so hard. I’m proud of you.”
“Is that it?” you asked. “Really?”
“What else?” he asked.
“Hello?” you asked after picking up the call. You were waiting for your laundry, half-heartedly leafing through a book about historical cursed objects.
“Did you make it back alright?” Haruka asked from the other end.
“I did,” you said. “I’m sorry about earlier. Gojo is a little… eccentric.”
“He’s gorgeous,” Haruka said. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me your teacher was so hot.”
“He’s my teacher,” you said, surprised by the flare of irritation you felt at having her point it out. Of course he was hot, but you couldn’t acknowledge that. You wouldn’t want to anyway, not when you were still feeling so conflicted.
“Yeah but he’s young. What do you think, twenty-five? Twenty-six?”
“He’s my teacher,” you repeated.
“He’s not my teacher. Do you think he’s single? I didn’t see a ring.”
“No,” you said bluntly, closing the book with a snap.
“No, he’s not single?”
“I mean no, I’m not having this conversation with you,” you said. “It’s weird and disrespectful.”
“You’re kidding,” Haruka asked. “Since when do you care about that?”
That caught you off guard; you didn’t have an answer. Any response you could think of led to increasingly disquieting explanations. “I don’t think Gojo’s the dating type,” you told her, deciding to side-step that question completely. “He’s out of the city about as often as he’s here, so I doubt he’s got much time for that sort of thing.”
She hummed. “Maybe I can come visit you on campus. It’s just outside of Tokyo, right?”
“It’s a religious school,” you told her. “No visitors on campus.”
“That’s so lame. You should give me his number then.”
“Why would I do that?”
“For me,” Haruka said. “To mend my broken heart.”
“You can’t date my teacher.”
“I’m not looking to date him,” Haruka said. “Come on, you owe me. Please?”
“Look, Haru-” you began, ready to try to explain to her why it was a bad idea that wouldn’t go anywhere, but she cut you off.
“Unless you really are saving him for yourself,” Haruka said. “I guess I wouldn’t put it past you.”
You closed your mouth, swallowing your warning. For that, she could deal with another rejection. “Okay, I’ll ask.”
“Thank you!” Haruka said. “Okay, I gotta hurry to take a shower, text me. Don’t forget, okay?”
“I won’t,” you said, truly meaning it. “Goodnight.”
The next day, the sun was high and hot as you dropped down to sit next to Gojo on the field-side benches.
“Your form is looking much better,” Gojo said. “I like that outfit too. Is it new?”
You smiled, preening a little bit at the compliment. “Thank you, it is,” you said, smoothing your hair back. “You know, men don’t usually notice clothes.”
“I notice everything you do,” he said. “It’s the best way to keep track of your progress.”
“Right,” you said, smiling and accepting that with a nod, aggressively rejecting the fluttery nerves the comment inspired. “Sensei, may I ask you something personal?”
“Oh? What is it?
“Are you seeing anyone? Romantically, I mean.”
“That’s hardly an appropriate question to ask your teacher.”
“You asked me if I was dating someone,” you pointed out. “I’m only asking for a—a friend.”
“A friend?” Gojo repeated dubiously. “Well, you can tell your friend that I’m not seeing anyone. Not exclusively, at least.”
That confirmed that, at least. “And you’re okay with younger women?” you asked, acting more flustered than you felt. “My age, I mean. Or, you know, around my age. Not me, obviously.”
“It depends on the woman,” he said slowly, leaning forward with a little smile curling his lips. “What’s she like?”
“I guess you could say she’s kind of like me,” you said. “Some people think she’s difficult, but maybe you don’t mind that?”
“Is she secretly very shy?” he asked. “Perhaps because she’s afraid of her true feelings?”
“She is a little shy,” you allowed. “You’re intimidating sometimes, sensei. And it’s scandalous because you’re my teacher.”
“I won’t be your teacher forever.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
“But I would hate for anyone to think I’m playing favorites.”
“It’s not like I’m asking for special treatment.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Not at all. I’d rather you keep the entire thing between you two,” you said, your tone reverting to its normal timbre.
“What?” Gojo asked, his voice flat with confusion.
“My friend Haruka. You met her yesterday. She asked me to give her your number and see if you were interested,” you said. “It’s the only way to make up for having to bail out on the plans we had last night. That’s okay, right? It was your fault.”
“Are you still mad at me for that?” Gojo asked.
“I’m not mad,” you pretended to consider his nonplussed expression for a moment. “You seemed interested before.”
“You were misleading me on purpose, weren’t you? How cruel. I thought you were a nice girl.”
“Misleading you? I don’t know what you mean, sensei. I told you I was asking for a friend.”
If you could see his eyes, you had a feeling they would be narrowed. “In that case, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass.”
You shrugged. “Your loss.” Taking a drink, you pumped yourself up and got to your feet. “Okay! I’m gonna win this next match for sure.”
You jumped off the benches. You did not win the next match. You did, however, feel as if you had scored some sort of petty victory with Gojo’s obvious confusion. You wondered if he truly thought you were making a pass at him and was willing to play along, or if it was just as much a game to him as you. If you could read him, you’d know. And it wouldn’t be a source of many late nights spent looking up at your ceiling wondering if you were reading too far into innocuous interactions.
But you couldn’t.
You shouldn’t have played into it. That was the conclusion you quickly drew as March rolled out into April and your training reached a feverish intensity. The more you trained, the stronger your Divination became, the more you realized how utterly outmatched you were, how unprepared. Not only with Jujutsu sorcery, but with your enigmatic teacher.
The interactions seemed so banal at face value, but they became the only thing you could think about. It was always something.
“Oh, look at you!” Gojo said, startling you as you were leaving campus one Saturday morning. “That’s very cute. Did you get all dressed up just for me? I’m flattered.”
“No, I was going to go out.”
“It’s for a boy, then. I see.”
You rolled your eyes impatiently. “If I was dressing up for you, I’d be dressing up for a guy. But I'm not.”
“Oh, but I just remembered,” Gojo said, snapping his fingers. “I’m taking you along on a job. You need more experience, don’t you?”
And he was always so close. Maddeningly close, finding any excuse to touch you.
“Oop, there’s an eyelash on your cheek,” Gojo said, leaning in close with his lips pursed as he pinched it off. “Okay! Make a wish!”
You resisted the urge to shrink back, looking at the bandage covering his eyes as impassively as you could. “I wish-”
“No, don’t tell me!” he said, waving his hands. “Otherwise it won’t come true.”
The two of you would be walking somewhere and he’d grabbed your hand. “No, no, we’re going this way,” he'd say, acting like it was the most casual thing in the world to entwine his fingers with your own to guide you.
And the other things, a friendly arm thrown over your shoulder, his hands physically adjusting your stance when practicing fighting, his relentless proximity, it added up. Added up to what? You didn’t know. Whenever you expressed discomfort, Gojo seemed so confused.
You thought that at least when he was away on missions, you would have space to breathe, but even then you felt his domineering influence.
“Where are you going?” Oyama asked.
“It’s not your business.”
“Is it an emergency?”
“No. I’m-”
“Then you need to be training, your hand to hand is still way too sloppy.”
And then it was:
“You marked a spot on your map, we should go check it out.”
“And it can only be done today,” you said flatly. “On the day I had off. When I specifically mentioned I wanted to go out.”
Oyama shrugged as if helpless. And, honestly, he probably was. You had a feeling you knew exactly where the orders were coming from.
When Gojo came back and you asked him about it, demanding some explanation, he looked utterly baffled by your confrontational tone.
“You need to focus,” Gojo said, frowning with concern, his aura as impenetrable as ever. “You’re still so far behind your fellow sorcerers.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders to comfort you, his voice lowering intimately. “I know it’s difficult right now, but when you’re strong, you can do whatever you want.”
The string of cancellations as well as the thing with Gojo not working out was the breaking point for Haruka. She stopped inviting you places. More than once, you considered telling her the truth, coming clean about everything regarding Gojo’s strange behavior, but you didn’t.
Even if you told her the truth, that you weren’t necessarily trying to invite Gojo’s attention, it would validate the thing she first assumed when asking you to get his number for her. That was an old wound, an uncomfortable situation in high school with the tennis instructor. Besides, when you presented the case to yourself, it sounded insane. A handful of interactions with a man who was a bit eccentric, being restricted because you were so far behind other sorcerers.
Sometimes you felt insane, like you were missing something vital, drawing the wrong conclusions from inferred motivations because you couldn’t read Gojo like you could everyone else. You asked for a transfer to the Kyoto campus, and you clung to that. They said they would consider it, but you weren’t sure if they took it seriously. You couldn’t provide any details as to why you wanted to move, not even to yourself.
All you could do was lay in bed listening to white noise TV overthinking every comment he made and interactions you had, your thoughts caught in the endless back and forth of confusion.
“You weren’t there to greet me,” Gojo said, calling into the empty gym where you were stretching. He had been gone for three days and, unlike when you first began at Jujutsu Tech, you weren’t excitedly looking forward to his arrival. Or maybe you were? At least it was something other than the oppressive isolation and relentless training, but it only really upset you. “I got you a souvenir.”
“I’m good, thanks. Did you have a fun trip?” you asked in an icy tone, refusing to turn around to address him with respect.
“I wouldn’t call it fun, it’s work.”
“Still,” you insisted, rolling your shoulders, “it must be nice to have a little freedom.”
An awkward silence followed your comment.
“You’re not mad or something, are you?” Gojo finally asked.
“I’m not mad.”
“I haven’t done anything to deserve this attitude,” Gojo clearly wasn’t convinced, you could hear the theatrical dismay in his tone. “What’s got you so grumpy?”
“I’m not grumpy.”
“So why are you pouting then?”
Finally fed up with the badgering, you whirled around to face him, resolved to be upfront, to not give him a way to get out of the question. But then you looked him up and down and felt an odd jab of disgust and guilt twist in your stomach. It was so much easier to think the worst of somebody when they weren’t there to provide any sort of counternarrative. Seeing Gojo, it was hard to believe that he was the person you sometimes feared him to be. He was too attractive, powerful, and intelligent. It didn’t make sense that he would resort to underhanded means to manipulate you.
“Is there a reason I’m not allowed to leave?” you asked, staring at his covered eyes.
“What do you mean?” Gojo asked, the picture of innocent confusion. “Nobody’s stopping you.”
“Really? Because when you’re here, you stop me and, when you’re not, Oyama finds a reason that I can’t. It’s almost uncanny that so many jobs coincide with the days that I make plans.”
“Have you tried asking Oyama?” Gojo asked. “Maybe he has a crush on you.”
“He detests me,” you told him flatly. “I don’t blame him.”
“Oh? Do you want me to talk to him about that? I hate to think that my students aren’t getting along.”
“I want to know what’s going on,” you said, trying to keep calm.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Gojo said, his act of innocence perfectly maintained. Unless it wasn’t a mask. You couldn’t tell. “Are you feeling okay? Maybe you’ve been working too hard.” He frowned, thinking about it for a second. “I know! Let’s go out together. I’ve been dying to try this new sushi restaurant in town. I’ll invite Oyama and we can all get to the bottom of whatever it is you think you’re feeling.”
The moon hung high in the sky as you did training exercises in the field near your dorm, trying to shut your brain off. Nothing was solved over dinner. Of course not. Both men acted like there was nothing strange going on.
No, of course you were allowed to do whatever you wanted. Of course they weren’t stopping you. But if they were, they had good reason to. If they were, the problem was that you were just so weak. Sure you were making progress, but you weren’t even close to catching up with other sorcerers your age.
When you got back to your room, you broke down and called your mom, intending to tell her everything. The isolation, the suffocation, the worries you had about your teacher’s behavior. But all she could talk about was how well things were going with her new boyfriend. They were considering moving in together. And it was fine if she gave his daughter your old bedroom, wasn’t it? You didn’t need it anymore. You texted Haruka, but she didn’t reply, posting on her social media story to ensure you knew she was ignoring you on purpose.
So you decided you needed to hit something. It helped you calm down, at least. It was easier to believe the world had a semblance of peace in the dark of the night.
“Looking good!” a familiar voice called from behind you. You were trained enough to not be startled, taking a defensive stance as you considered how you were going to handle this. “I am curious as to why you’re out here though. I thought you were tired.”
That was the reason you gave after you got back to campus, the reason you immediately excused yourself from his company. Gojo knew it was a lie then, and said it like a joke now.
“I can’t sleep,” you said, shrugging as you turned around.
“I see. You’re not still angry with me, are you? Even though I didn’t do anything wrong?”
“No.”
“Then I can’t help but wonder what face you’re imagining on that training dummy.”
“Are you that hopeful that I’m thinking about you, sensei?”
He laughed. “If anything, I’m worried,” he said. “You know what they say about a woman scorned.”
“You told me I needed to train more,” you pointed out. “Do you have any tips? I prefer fighting with knives, but I can’t trust that I’ll always have weapons, and I still need to get in close if I’m going to use my Divination.”
“I’m not sure there’s much to read from your current opponent,” Gojo said.
“I’m being serious,” you said. “If you don’t want to help, that’s fine too.”
“No, I do. Okay, get into a defensive position,” he instructed, which you did.
Gojo walked around to stand close behind you, you could feel the warm thrum of his body, the energy coursing through it, the power.
“Your posture is fine, the problem is your mindset,” he said, his voice lower. He reached around to brush his fingers over your flushed neck and over, across your shoulder and down your arm. “You can’t think of it in terms of only using your cursed energy or only your body. Jujutsu sorcery is more than the sum of its parts. You fight with your whole self.” His hands settled on your hips, repositioning them slightly to the side. Then his palm laid flat over your pelvis, dragging up your stomach. Your skin crackled with little sparks of electricity, crawling and thrumming and alive and nervous.
“Sensei, I’m, uh…” Tongue-tied. A shiver snaked down your spine and you resisted the urge to move and put distance between you. You cleared your throat. “I understand that part, it’s just…”
“You don’t feel it yet. The harmony,” Gojo said. “Most people aren’t actively aware of their bodies, but a sorcerer has to be.”
“I am,” you said softly.
“Are you really?” Gojo asked, his lips brushing your temple. “Do you feel how your cursed energy flows through your body? It has its own circulatory system, you just have to find its pulse, synchronize it with your own.” He raised his hand up to press against your neck, lightly pressing against the place where your blood erratically thrummed beneath the skin.
“I get it,” you told him, you turned around, grabbing his hand from your neck, pressing your palms flat together.
Gojo looked taken aback, but didn’t withdraw. You saw nothing from within him. Felt no flicker of emotion.
“You know, I… I realized,” you said, looking up at his half-covered face, imagining a pair of sparkling blue eyes, knowing he was staring at you. “When we’re close like this, I can feel your… Infinity. The endless expanse that separates you and me.”
“Really?” he asked, sliding his hand to the side. It dwarfed your own. “I heard that you’re getting even better at reading people. It’s very impressive how fast you’re progressing, I’m so proud.”
“I thought that would help me figure you out, but it’s not your cursed energy keeping me out. It’s your infinity.” You looked at where your hands met. You felt his skin, his warmth, and yet you knew the connection wasn’t quite there. It was impossible to truly connect with him. “Trying to read you is like trying to find a flame in an endless abyss. Even the few times I thought I’ve seen something, I can’t be sure that it wasn’t just an illusion in the dark.”
Gojo’s head tilted curiously. “What was it that you thought you felt?”
“I’m getting stronger,” you told him rather than answer, pressing your hand ever more firmly against his. “If you give me a chance, I’ll show you. That’s why you’re keeping me from going out, right? Because you think I’m weak.”
“I’m not keeping you from doing anything,” Gojo told you. “I don’t know where you got this idea that I am.”
You dropped your hand, stepping away from him. The words were a knife twisted in your chest. He made you sound crazy. Made you feel crazy.
“Right. I’m going to bed,” you told him flatly. “Goodnight.”
“Hello?” Haruka answered, her voice groggy from just waking up. She probably wouldn’t have taken your call if she was fully awake.
“I’m too sick to train or study today,” you told her, holding up a potential outfit for the day. Gojo was gone, and you were done asking for permission to leave. “I’m going to be laid out in bed all day today and tomorrow.”
“What?”
“Do you think Ikki and Kaoru would be interested in hanging out? I could use a drink.” While you were still a little over a year out from buying liquor, both Ikki and Kaoru were of age and they didn’t mind hosting little parties at their shared apartment.
“It’s eight in the morning,” Haruka said.
“Not now, I mean later. I’m gonna catch the twelve-twenty train. Let’s get lunch, or go shopping. Honestly, I don’t care, I just need to get out of here.”
“Um. Yeah, I think we could do that.”
“Great. See you then.” You hung up before she could change her mind.
They waited until you were more than a little drunk to ask. You should have expected that, although you also didn’t expect to get so drunk. Ikki kept handing you drinks, urging you to relax and enjoy yourself. The world was warm and sweaty and spinning and comfortable and lovely and frightening.
“Okay,” Ikki said, catching your attention. A cigarette hung out of the corner of his mouth like he was some kind of cowboy. He only smoked when he got drunk, it was kind of cute, not that you would ever tell him that. He already knew it anyway. “What’s up with you lately?”
“What?” you asked, blinking fast.
“Kaoru thinks you got knocked up,” Fumiko said, speaking up from her position leaning against Kaoru’s chest.
Kaoru frowned down at her.
“What?” you asked, trying to force your drunk brain to think sober thoughts. “It’s not anything like that… It’s a… It’s nothing.”
“You’ve been blowing us off every time we asked you to come out without any explanation,” Haruka said. “It has to be a boy.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Come ooooooon,” Fumiko pushed. “It’s a guy. He’s keeping you all to yourself.”
“That’s not it,” you insisted.
“Is it something illegal?” Ikki asked with a puff of smoke.
“No, nothing like that,” you said. Then you broke out laughing, looking at your nearly empty beer. “It’s not like I have a boyfriend or anything. It-it, okay it is a guy. We’re not dating. It used to just be a weird vibe but now it’s like, weirder. He stops me from leaving and if he’s not there then he gets Oyama to keep me from going and there’s always a reason, but it’s still… That’s weird, right? I had to sneak out to come tonight, and even then that’s only because he’s out of the country.”
“There’s no way,” Haruka said, her voice flat with genuine disbelief. You could tell she was already prepared to call you a liar. “You’re saying you’re some kind of hostage?”
“Wait so, what, there’s somebody at your school who’s obsessed with you?” Kaoru asked. “What even is that place?”
“It’s that teacher, isn’t it,” Ikki said, pointing his half burned cigarette at you “The creepy guy with the glasses.”
“He’s not, like… creepy,” you said. “I don’t know, it’s just weird.”
Haruka scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Why would a guy that looks like Gojo go through all the trouble for you?”
“Tell him you’re dating me and I’ll beat him up if he keeps you all to himself,” Ikki said with a lopsided grin, butting his cigarette and throwing an arm around your shoulders.
“How would that help?” Haruka snapped, glaring at the two of you, her aura sparking with anger. That was very not good.
You shrugged off Ikki’s arm, scowling and trying to snap back to sobriety. “I knew you would do this if I told you,” you said. “That’s why I didn’t say anything before.”
“Why would I believe you? I know how you are. This is just like that one time in our second year with the tennis coach.”
You frowned. Of course she would bring that up. “That wasn’t-”
“You thought he was cute, but he didn’t reciprocate so you told everyone he was a perv.”
“Wasn’t that guy fired for trying to get with his students?” Kaoru asked.
“Yeah, but he wasn’t into her,” Haruka argued.
“It’s weird that you’re jealous about sexual harassment,” you told her bluntly.
“Okay! I think we should take a breather,” Ikki said, trying to smooth things over. “You girls might’ve overdone it a little.” You pushed him off, your own temper flaring to meet Haruka’s fiery aura.
“I bet Gojo turned you down and that’s why you’re making this up,” she said, her voice raising. “Or, no, you just want to outdo me. Brag about how you’re so much better just like always.”
“The only reason you’re saying this is because you’re mad he didn’t wanna sleep with you and you think it’s my fault,” you told her, working hard to keep the drunken slur out of your voice. “It’s not like I enjoy having somebody breathing down my neck all the time, although I’m sure you’d love the attention. You beg for it often enough.”
“You do too!” she said, getting shrill. “You just act like you don’t. Being a prude doesn’t make you superior.”
“That’s true, I don’t need self-respect to be better than you,” you snapped. In the ensuing silence, everybody in the room was just staring at you. Like you were the one out of line. Like they hadn’t ganged up on you to force you to tell them what was going on.
Angry at them and angry at yourself for losing it so spectacularly, you stumbled drunkenly to your feet. Ikki got up too, although you pushed off his help as you went to the bathroom. Haruka shouted insults after you, which you ignored.
Instead you went into their bathroom, marveled at the disgusting state of a place shared by two guys, and threw up.
The knocking woke you up. It took a minute of looking at the sunshine peering in through the blinds to realize you were on Ikki’s and Kaoru’s couch, your back cramping from sleeping in such an uncomfortable position. A glass of water and two painkillers sat ready for you on the messy coffee table alongside empty beer bottles and snack wrappers. You groaned, sitting up and taking the medication with a wince.
Whoever was at the door continued to knock. You grunted, standing up. Bad idea. You nearly fell right back down, but you managed to stay on your feet. You were about to answer the door before you realized that could be a bad idea, turning around to find Ikki.
The door to Kaoru’s room was closed, but the other door yawned open. You peeked in. Haruka was passed out on the bed. You could hear the shower running from the bathroom.
“Ikki?” you called through the door. “Someone’s knocking.”
“What?”
“Someone’s at the door,” you said. “Are you expecting anyone?”
“No,” he said. “Will you get it? I’ll be out in a second.”
Perhaps hearing voices inside, the person at the door only got louder. You sighed, annoyed by their insistence.
You returned to the living room to open the door, squinting at how bright the morning was in comparison to the dark apartment.
“Good morning!” Gojo enthused.
You blinked hard three or four times, willing reality to bend to make what you were seeing stop being true.
“Woah, you look like shit. Did you have a fun night?”
“What?” you asked, baffled beyond comprehension.
“Who is it?” Ikki asked, coming out of the bathroom with billows of steam and only a towel around his waist, drying his hair absently.
“I’ve come to retrieve my wayward student,” Gojo said.
You stared at him, hungover and confused and wanting nothing more than to lay back down on that horribly uncomfortable couch and never get up.
“Are you ready to go?” Gojo asked you when he got no answer.
You let out an unsteady breath, closing your eyes for a second to try and gain some clarity or zen. Nope. That was a lost cause.
“Give me a second, I have to use the bathroom,” you said, turning away from him towards the bedroom to get your bag.
Haruka was still passed out, a fact you were very grateful for. You weren’t completely clear on the details of last night, but the broad strokes were all there. You slung your bag over your shoulder and went into the steamy bathroom. Clearing the mirror in squeaky finger-streaks proved Gojo right. You looked like shit.
After dry heaving a little as you brushed your teeth, you put on clean clothes and sorted out the mess that was your hair. It wasn’t perfect, but you didn’t look as awful as you felt. When you returned to the main room, Ikki was dressed. The room was heavy with awkward tension, although Gojo didn’t look at all uncomfortable. You weren’t sure you wanted to know what words were exchanged.
“Ready to go?” Gojo asked. You sighed, throwing your bag over your shoulder.
“I’ll talk to you later,” you told Ikki, smiling apologetically.
And Ikki, in his endless wisdom, did the last thing you expected and grabbed you around the waist, pulling you in for a kiss. He stared at Gojo the whole time, aggression swirling around him thicker than any desire or affection. Using you to prove a point. That was unlike him. Gojo might’ve just had a way of pulling out the worst in people.
“Call me later,” he said when he released you, winking.
“Bye,” you said, forcing a smile.
“It was nice to see you again,” Gojo said, smiling and waving in a too-cheerful way. You walked out into the sunlight, wincing at how bright it was, going for the stairs without waiting for him to follow.
“Did you have fun last night?” Gojo asked as you took the stairs down to ground level.
“Yeah,” you said, too tired and irritable to play along.
“You know, as your teacher, it’s my responsibility to look after your wellbeing,” Gojo said, hopping the last few steps to stay next to you. “Underage drinking can have very dire consequences. Especially when you’re spending the night at a man’s home. I would hate to think that you’d be taken advantage of.”
“Why are you here?” you asked, turning to face him. “How did you know where to find me?”
“I got back last night. I was worried when you weren’t on campus,” you could feel his gaze as he looked you up and down. “I’m glad to see you’re just fine.”
“Right,” you said. That didn’t answer your question, but you doubted you would get anything better. “Can we stop to get breakfast?”
“Can you wait until we get to the station? We have to hurry to catch the train.”
“Hurry for what?”
“Didn’t you read my messages? You have a job,” he told you.
“You’re kidding.”
“You begged me for a chance to prove yourself, well here it is. If you do well on this mission, I’ll consider you for a promotion of sorts. Isn’t that exciting?”
Through a series of increasingly unfortunate circumstances, the thread you were following led to a realization that the curse was based on the time of day. That is, exactly before sunrise. By the time you figured that out, you had about nine hours to kill.
Gojo said he’d rent a room for you to rest, but it had to be close enough that you could be at the lot exactly on time. On short notice and in such a small area to select from, the choices of accommodations were slim.
One room, one bed. If the embarrassment didn’t kill you, the cliche would.
Gojo showering gave you some time alone to prepare yourself, at least. It wasn’t like you were afraid he would do anything, but you couldn’t say you were exactly comfortable with the arrangement. The whole day, you had been standoffish, but now you were just tired and nervous. Of course you wanted to prove yourself to him, but you also got angry every time you thought about him springing this on you when he knew you weren’t operating at your best. It felt calculated, but you knew that he would easily deny that if you accused him of anything.
The worst of everything was how meticulously he avoided any conversation about your behavior, or Ikki, or his own motivations for doing this. The more stormy your mood got, the bigger he smiled, and the more he acted the role of the caring teacher.
Just like always, you felt like you were a little crazy. Drowning in delusions of self importance.
You sat crossed legged on the foot of the bed and put on a ghost hunting show. If only being a sorcerer was like on TV. Dramatics, theatrics, silly devices, and easy answers. That had been your original hope when you started playing with Divination. You wanted something exciting, the cheap thrills weren't doing it anymore.
Well, you got what you wanted. You certainly weren't bored.
“What are we watching?” Gojo asked as he came out of the bathroom with a cloud of steam, drying his wet hair. You cleared your throat and averted your eyes from his partial nudity.
“Ghost Adventures,” you said, staring straight ahead at the screen.
“What’s that?” he asked as he got onto the bed, laying on top of the comforter. The robe mostly covered his bare torso.
“A ghost hunting show,” you answered. “It’s American.”
“Is it any good?”
You snorted out a short laugh. “No. We don’t have to keep it on.”
“I don’t mind.”
You stared at the TV for a minute before checking your phone again. Haruka hadn’t texted you all day. At first, you were resolute that you would only accept an apology, but the longer you thought about it, the more you reasoned yourself to accept anything.
“Isn’t it uncomfortable to sit like that?” Gojo asked, startling you. You turned off your phone screen, setting it on the bedside table.
“I’m fine.”
“I heard that if you sit with your back hunched like that you’ll get stuck that way.”
You rolled your eyes, although you did swing your legs around to lay against the headboard. As much as you wanted to pretend it wasn’t true, you were still tired from the previous night. Since he made no move to do it, you got under the stiff sheets, trying to fluff the lumpy pillow into comfortable submission.
“Are you dissatisfied?” Gojo asked suddenly.
“What?”
“Are you dissatisfied with your life as a sorcerer? When you first started at Jujutsu Tech I thought you were over your rebellious delinquent phase, but now you’re falling back into the same habits. I can only assume it’s because you’re dissatisfied.”
“It was one night,” you argued. Chewing on the words and your lip for a second, you cast a sideways glare towards him. “If there weren’t such strict restrictions about when and how I can leave campus, I wouldn't have had to lie.”
“You’re still technically a student, of course there are restrictions. Do you think that’s unfair?”
“Oyama doesn’t have the same restrictions.”
“Oyama is nearly a Grade Two sorcerer, and he’s never had any behavioral issues.”
“Right,” you said, your voice flat. At least that was a different answer than you had gotten previously, some acknowledgement that you were getting unfair treatment.
“If you’re this unhappy, why haven’t you said anything?” Gojo asked.
You wondered how much he already knew or assumed. He wasn’t stupid, he was painfully perceptive. Unless it was all in your head, and he truly did not understand why you were reacting like this because he had no reason to think you would second guess his behavior and motivations.
“You already have a lot to worry about,” you told him.
“I always have time for my cute little student. It’s my responsibility to see that you’re satisfied. I have noticed that you seem a little more tense. Is the stress starting to get to you? It’s important to talk about these things, you know. Otherwise they can spiral into a much larger problem. We have to rely on each other as sorcerers.”
“I’m fine.”
Gojo hummed. You pretended to be very interested in a case about some old haunted asylum where they tortured patients or whatever.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something,” Gojo said when the show cut to commercial. “Your abilities can be considered dangerous to yourself and those around you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sorcerers and curse users go to great lengths to keep their techniques secret. The mere idea of your Divination puts them at risk. While it’s not fully refined yet, there is a non-zero chance that you will be able to read techniques in their entirety. I’m sure there are already conversations being had about taking you out. Nobody’s stupid enough to try anything when you’re under my protection, but if they saw a chance, they would jump at it.”
“So I can’t leave,” you said, staring hard at the TV as a commercial for foot cream played out.
“You can!” Gojo said quickly, his voice energetically trying to placate you. “Neither myself or any other sorcerer will hold you against your will. You’re an adult, you can do what you please. I’m only telling you of the risks you face now.”
“How would they know about my technique?” you asked.
Gojo shrugged glibly, his expression just as unreadable without sunglasses or that bandage. “These things have a way of getting around.”
In the very deepest part of your brain, you wondered if he didn’t have a hand in that. If he wouldn’t be willing to put you at risk if it meant you needed his protection. That was ridiculous. Truly. No matter what else Gojo had done, he hadn’t done anything you could call evil. The jujutsu world was just dangerous, and you already knew that.
“I understand,” you said, trying to sound unaffected.
Neither of you spoke for a while, although you didn’t think he was watching the TV any more than you were. It was a ridiculous story and they were so deadly serious about their silly spirit boxes.
“Aren’t you going to sleep?” Gojo asked. “I’ll wake you up when it’s time.”
“Yeah,” you said. “I should. Do you want to turn it off?”
“I don’t mind. You usually sleep with the TV or something on anyway, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but…” You frowned, your assurance trailing off. How did he know that?
“I’ve always wondered why,” Gojo said. “Are you afraid of the dark? That seems inconvenient for a sorcerer.”
“I have bad dreams,” you said.
“Will I have to worry about you waking up kicking and screaming?”
“Bad, not scary,” you corrected him, trying to make yourself as comfortable as possible. “Isn’t it wonderful that no matter how hard you repress things when you’re awake, your brain can just shove it in your face when you’re defenseless?”
“I understand that,” he told you with a wry smile.
“So even the strongest has to deal with that?” you asked, stifling a yawn into your palm. “I guess there really is no hope for the rest of us.”
“I’ve read that nightmares offer insights into our psyches,” Gojo said as you stared at the ceiling. “Things that we fear the most… and things we want the most.”
“I dream about my dad coming back,” you said softly, without thinking. You scrubbed your palms into your eyes, laughing humorlessly. “It’s pathetic. Sometimes I wish I’d dream about curses or whatever. The happy dreams are so much worse.”
“I truly believe that love is the worst curse of them all,” Gojo said softly.
“You’re probably right.” After a moment, you added, ”I’m sorry. For whoever you dream about, I’m sorry.”
“Who said I dream of anything?’
You huffed. “Fine. I take back my sorry.”
“You can’t, I’ve already accepted it. It warms my heart to think of my cute little student worrying about her sensei. What would you do to help me, I wonder?”
Your face scrunched up in disgust. “Nothing. Forget it.”
“I’d be more than happy to return the favor, you know. If you’re lonely,” Gojo said, turning onto his side with his head propped up on his arm, “I can help you.”
“I’m fine.”
“Liar,” Gojo said. “I’ve noticed how sad you are, how you refuse to reach out to anybody for support. I know what that's like."
“I don’t need anyone's support,” you said, avoiding his eyes. “I can either get over this, or I can’t. That’s on me.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Gojo said, even softer. “Even the strongest need help sometimes, and you’re hardly the strongest. I’m worried about you.”
You sighed, even more annoyed. “Don’t be.”
Gojo groaned dramatically. “You make it so difficult to be a good teacher and mentor. I want to help you, but then you act like this. It’s like you’re trying to rile me up.”
“What are you talking about?” you asked, a cold flush running through your stomach.
“I’m telling you that you should be more careful,” Gojo said. “I’m not entirely sure you realize that you could very well face consequences for your behavior.”
“Is that a threat or something?” you asked.
“No, of course not,” he told you with a smile. “Now go to sleep, you’ll need it if you’re going to perform well tomorrow. Remember what’s at stake.”
The next afternoon, after getting your wounds treated and taking a long nap to make up for two nights of barely any sleep, you stood in the classroom facing Gojo. You had been expecting bad news, but not quite to the gleefully dismissive extent that he saw fit to deliver it.
“Suffice it to say, you did not meet my expectations. I guess you’re stuck with me for a while yet,” Gojo said, smiling like it was great news despite the attempted apologetic tone.
You grit your teeth. “Is this what you meant about consequences for my misbehavior?”
“What do you mean?” Gojo asked, tilting his head curiously.
“I don’t know what you want, if you expect something from me or if you’re mad I’m dating or whatever, but I did a good job,” you said. “You know I did, so-”
“You didn’t,” Gojo said, cutting you off. “I carefully evaluated every part of your performance, and I don’t think you’re ready to take on more complicated jobs. This isn’t a game. There are lives at stake. Your life, the lives of your fellow sorcerers, and the lives of the civilians we’re trying to protect. If you want to accuse me of trading favors or having an unfavorable bias, you’re more than welcome to take your case to the higher ups. I’m sure they would be delighted to hear of any perceived misconduct. Otherwise, I recommend you focus on your training.”
You nodded stiffly, biting your tongue. “Yes, sir.”
“I know you’re upset, but it’s important that you don’t rush something you’re not ready for. You could get hurt.”
“I understand. If you’ll excuse me then.” You turned to leave his office, your shoulders high and tense.
“Oh, right! I was told this morning that you asked for a transfer,” Gojo said, snapping loud enough to make you wince. “It was denied.”
You looked over your shoulder, a cold bit of dread sinking into your gut.
“Kyoto doesn’t need any more sorcerers at the moment, especially when you're still such a low level sorcerer,” he told you, returning to that innocent tone. “Why was it that you wanted to transfer anyway?”
“No reason,” you said, hiding your expression and leaving quickly.
The disappointment was bad, but what you hated more than anything with the humiliation. If Gojo were honest, then you could understand your failure, but not in the way he presented it to you. He was going out of his way to embarrass you. Hot bouts of sticky red fury filled your stomach and your head whenever you thought about it, a feeling so mean and aggressive that it hurt.
You couldn’t call your mom, you wouldn’t know what to tell her. Haruka still hadn’t texted you. Ikki had asked if you were alright, but there wasn’t anything you could think of to say to him. You knew what he wanted, what he expected from you by offering what he saw as help, but you couldn’t do that. Even if it pissed Gojo off, it wasn’t satisfying. He would view that sort of behavior as petty. It was petty.
If you were going to do something, it had to be big. Something that you weren’t supposed to do, something that would make a point, something that would soothe your embarrassment. When you felt yourself drawn to the map on your wall, pencil in hand, it was like a golden opportunity had fallen into your lap, gifted directly to you by fate.
“Oyama! We have a job,” you told him, acting like you were unhappy with the arrangement.
“What are you talking about?” Oyama asked, his eyebrows furrowing.
“It’s a spot on my map.” You could see his hesitation so you feigned annoyance. “If you want to go alone, that’s fine, but Gojo told me I had to as a part of my evaluation.”
He believed it, not even checking to make sure you were telling the truth.
As soon as you were conscious, a ragged gasp ripped up the inside of your dry throat, panic shooting through your veins like ice water. You groped your chest and stomach, searching for wounds that weren’t there. A little yelp of fear left your mouth and you wrenched your body upright. The sheet fell from your chest, making you realize that you were not dressed, and you were not alone.
Ieiri shot you a concerned look, blowing a final puff of smoke out of the window into the dark night before butting the cigarette. “Careful,” she warned, “your wounds are healed, but you’re going to be weak.”
Tugging the sheet up to cover your chest, you realized you were in the clinic, and then your memories crashed through the gauze of groggy ignorance. The curse, the fight, the terror, and then the stupidest plan you had ever concocted. Although you weren’t wounded anymore, you coughed weakly, your body reacting to the mere memory of suffocating on your own blood.
“How do you feel?” she asked.
You groaned, falling flat onto your back. “I feel like I got hit by a truck.”
“How much do you remember?” Ieriri asked, closing the window.
“Everything.” Unfortunately. Your face scrunched up as you tried to put the horrific memories of your mutilated body out of your mind. “Is Oyama okay?”
“He has a few bruises, nothing major.”
You nodded, relieved for that. If he got hurt after you forced him to take you along, you’d never live it down. After a second, you threw an arm over your face, something like a raspy laugh crackling its way out of your sore chest. “I think I did something extraordinarily stupid.”
“Like using yourself as bait so your fellow sorcerer could exorcize a curse?” Ieiri asked dryly.
You opened one eye to look at her. “Did it work?”
“It did, although you very nearly died for it. The broken ribs were the worst. You’re lucky they didn’t puncture anything vital.”
Hiking up the sheet over your healed chest, you sat up again. Your head spun, but the only pain you felt was phantom, like your brain was unable to reconcile the severe physical trauma with your perfectly healed body.
“It was the strangest thing,” you said. “The curse was smart enough to know to attack the stronger sorcerer, but I… I forced it to focus on me.” You winced, a shiver of soul-deep revulsion slithering down your throat all the way to the pit of your stomach as you remembered what happened after that. Remembering pain after the fact was difficult enough, let alone thinking of the right words to describe the experience.
“You need water,” Ieiri said, pressing a bottle of water into your hand. You eagerly accepted it, uncapping the bottle and chugging the whole thing. She was calm as ever, if tired.
Capping the bottle, you cleared your throat again. “I don’t suppose I can borrow some clothes?”
She patted a pile of folded clothes on the bedside table with a tired smile. “They won’t fit, but it’s better than streaking across campus.”
“Thank you,” you said, wrapping yourself in the sheet to fully sit up.
“I’ll give you some privacy,” Ieiri said, turning to leave the room. She paused in the doorway, looking over her shoulder at you. “Oh, before I forget, Satoru wants to see you as soon as possible. I doubt he expected you to wake up so quickly, I’m sure it can wait until morning.”
You frowned, your stomach twisting up at the thought. “Where do you think he’ll be?”
“He’s probably in his apartment. I doubt he’s asleep, if you wanted to talk to him now.” She snorted, shaking her head. “That man sleeps less than I do.”
“Got it,” you said. “Thanks.”
She hesitated in the doorway, thinking about what she was going to say. “Satoru was very upset when he heard what happened. I know he worries about his students, but this is different.”
“How so?” you asked, tensing up at the faint insinuation.
Ieiri sighed. “I’m not trying to involve myself, you’re free to do what you want. But, speaking as someone who has known Satoru for a while, be careful. I care for him, but his nature doesn’t always lend itself to respectable behavior.”
“Okay,” you said flatly, narrowing your eyes at her. You didn’t get the sense of any malice or disgust, but the words were obviously pointed.
“That’s all,” Ieiri said with a light shrug, leaving the room and closing the door. You squeezed your eyes shut, wondering what to think about that. You didn’t know if you wanted to believe her or not. It was the first time anybody confirmed some of the strange things you felt about the man, but you didn’t know if that made it any better.
Besides, you hadn’t so purposefully baited a reaction just to shy away now.
At twelve-twenty-five, you left the clinic. Considering you almost died earlier that day, you didn't feel too terrible. Every muscle in your body was sore and shaky, like you had been training too hard, but you had just slept for nine hours. Even if you laid down, you wouldn’t sleep. If Gojo wanted to talk, you would talk. The reasoning behind it was, on the surface, because you wanted to get it over with.
There might have been more to your compulsion, but you were too irritable to interrogate your motivation.
Before going over, you stopped by your room to exchange Ieiri’s borrowed clothes for a clean shirt, oversized hoodie, fresh panties, and a pair of shorts. While you were there, you took the time to wipe the mascara rings out from under your eyes, swipe on some lip balm, and pull your hair back to mitigate the mess. What you really needed was a full coat of foundation and some dry shampoo, but the idea that you were so desperate to impress him pissed you off even more.
On your way to the faculty apartments on the edge of campus, you thought about the best way to handle this. Gojo would know why you lied and disobeyed him, he wasn’t stupid. There wasn’t any way you could think of to reframe the narrative either. You did it because you wanted to, and because you were angry about his ruling, and because you thought you could get away with it, and because you felt the need to act out against his authority.
You still weren’t sure what you were going to say when you stopped in front of his door, knocking before you lost your nerve. Footsteps sounded almost immediately from the other side, and then the door slid open. Gojo stood on the other side. He was dressed down for the night, wearing a casual t-shirt and sweatpants. His hair was messy and eyes uncovered, sparkling in the faint light from the lamps along the path.
“Oh, you’re awake!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t think I’d see you until tomorrow.”
“Yep, I’m all fixed up,” you said, throwing your arms out as if to present yourself. “Ieiri said you wanted to see me.”
“I can wait until you’re better rested,” Gojo said, putting on a dramatic frown.
You sighed, feeling awkward of all things. The whole time, you had been geared up for some sort of confrontation, but he was so calm, behaving just like he always did. Maybe Ieiri had misunderstood his mood.
“I don’t think I could sleep with this hanging over my head,” you told him. “Unless this is a bad time.”
“No, it’s fine. Come in,” Gojo said, opening the door wider to usher you through.
Despite the traditional exterior, his apartment was decorated in a plain yet clearly expensive style, a marble coffee table and velvet upholstery and understated lighting. What struck you the most was how good it smelled inside. The TV was on, but muted, splashing color and light into the dim room.
“Do you want tea?” Gojo offered, shutting the door. “Water? Strawberry milk?”
“I’m okay, thanks,” you said. “I’d rather get this over with.”
“Get what over with?” Gojo asked as he walked around you. He wasn’t wearing shoes, so you toed yours off, setting them next to his.
“You’re going to yell at me, aren’t you?” you said, maintaining a casual demeanor despite your anxiety.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” he said, dropping onto the couch. Those were unmistakably Fendi Pequin stripes on the armrests, the thing must have cost a small fortune and yet he was lounging on it. “Do you want me to?”
“Not especially.”
“How about you sit down,” Gojo offered, patting the spot on the couch beside him. You shuffled from foot to foot, rethinking your decision to come to his place so late at night. It was so far down from all of the other buildings. Even if you screamed, nobody would hear you. But that was stupid. He could have done anything he wanted to do to you in the hotel, and he didn’t. You were making things up to justify your discomfort.
You sat down stiffly, more than aware that you were sitting on a piece of furniture that cost as much as your mom’s car.
Gojo shut off the TV, leaving the two of you in the intimate near dark. It had been muted, but somehow the room felt even more quiet. His attitude was horribly off-putting. Ieiri said he seemed upset, but you weren’t getting that at all. If anything, he seemed more relaxed than the last time you saw him.
The silence dragged on and on, you had no idea what to do or say. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes, not when they were uncovered and you were alone.
Finally, he sighed theatrically. “This is my own fault,” Gojo said. “I’ve always known you had behavioral problems. I thought—I hoped that it wouldn’t come to this. You could have died.”
“But I didn’t,” you pointed out, keeping your voice steady. “Nobody died, the curse got exorcized, and everything’s fine.”
“Is that your defense for disregarding my authority, lying, and putting yourself and Oyama at risk?”
“It’s not a defense,” you said. “It’s a statement of fact.”
Gojo laughed, a sound that made you flinch away. It wasn’t forced, he sounded genuinely amused. “You are such a pain in the ass,” he said, smiling as if he was endeared by it. “I can’t tell if you’re unafraid of the consequences or if you really don’t believe you’ll face any.”
“I did face consequences,” you argued. “Didn’t Ieiri tell you how badly I was injured?”
“That’s not enough, is it? If you have the chance, you'll definitely do something like this again. The danger is a part of the thrill for a girl like you.” He hummed thoughtfully. “No, I need to take care of the underlying issue.”
“The underlying issue?” you repeated.
“You have no respect for authority—mine or otherwise.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sensei. I have the deepest respect for you,” you said, looking up at him with innocently wide eyes. It didn’t get the rise you wanted, his expression didn’t change. The unrelenting calm and friendly demeanor he maintained was beginning to creep you out.
“Normally, I don’t mind. I understand; I can’t stand people ordering me around. With you, though, it really irritates me. Maybe I should try a little more discipline.”
“What are you going to do, spank me?” you asked, raising a brow. You could hear how desperate your sarcasm sounded, an attempt to regain control over the situation.
Gojo’s head titled as he considered your taunt. “That’s not a bad idea, actually.”
You rolled your eyes, your hands curling into fists to hide your increasing anxiety. If you could read his feelings, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, but you couldn’t tell how serious he was. “You’re funny.”
“Oh? But that wasn’t a joke. I think that might help fix your attitude.”
“So breaking my ribs wasn’t good enough, but that is?” you asked, disguising your fear and dread with more desperate scorn. “Come on, don’t be gross.”
“It was your suggestion.”
“I was joking! I didn’t actually… I mean, you can’t just…” You shook your head rather than try to finish that statement, kicking yourself for getting so flustered.
“You were never punished as a child,” Gojo said. “You said your dad left? I bet that, after that, your mom grew distant. She yelled at you, but you never faced any serious consequences for your misbehavior. You only got better at hiding your indiscretions. Is that it?”
“That’s not your business,” you said, every muscle in your body drawing up tight in response to that accusation.
“Children who aren’t taught boundaries and respect grow up to be rotten adults,” Gojo said. “Spoiled, rude, self-important adults.” With every word he moved closer.
“You would know, right?” you said, clinging onto the strength of attempted wit.
Gojo smiled. “Oh yes, I know very well. I’m rotten too. Shoko told you, didn’t she? That’s why you look so scared right now.”
“I’m not scared,” you said, clenching your jaw.
“There's been something I've been meaning to tell you for a while,” Gojo said. He put a finger beneath your chin to lift it, forcing you to meet his eyes. “You’re not as complicated of a woman as you think you are. I know you think you’re better, but in reality you’re playing the same games, just with different rules. All of the posturing to get my attention, the misbehaving, the petty tricks to make me jealous–you're so obvious.” He let out a relieved breath, smiling. “Whew, I’m glad I finally got that out.”
“What are you even saying?” You asked, pulling away from him, shaking your head fast. “This is a joke, right?”
“I almost pity you. It isn’t entirely your fault. You’re young, ignorant, and weak, you couldn’t possibly have known where this would go. It’s not in your nature to leave well enough alone.”
“Stop it,” you said, your voice harsh.
“I’m the same,” Gojo continued as if he hadn’t heard you. “It’s not in my nature to spare the weak or ignorant just because I feel bad for them. I’m not nearly that nice.”
“I know you won’t hurt me.”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he asked. “You showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night begging me to punish you. I am a man. Even I have my limits. You've been testing them from the beginning.”
“You have to stop,” you said, your demand taking on the edge of a whine. “This is insane.”
“I’ll give you one last chance, okay? Prove me wrong. Leave,” Gojo said, backing off and gesturing to the door. “This is it, this is the last time you’ll get away without facing any consequences.”
“Gojo, why are you-”
“Three.”
“Nnn-no, wait, I-”
“Two.”
You stood up, swaying on your feet, but you didn’t run. You took one step back from him, afraid, but you didn’t run.
“One,” Gojo said, grunting the word as he got to his feet and picked you up, tossing you over his shoulder.
“No!” you shouted, struggling to escape his grasp as he carried you further into the apartment. “Stop it, put me-put me down! Stop, I want to go! I’ll leave! Put me down!”
“I warned you what would happen, it’s not my fault you never listen,” Gojo said, dumping you onto his bed. You bounced once, scrambling to get up and away. “No, don’t move,” he ordered, his voice low and authoritative, freezing you in place. His eyes sparkled inhumanly in the dim light.
“I want to go,” you said, softly, your heart racing, pounding harder because you couldn’t move. “I’m leaving, I’m going and-”
“No, you’re not,” he said, rolling his eyes as he opened a drawer on the nightstand, looking inside with a thoughtful expression. “By all means, keep up the act. The whole brat thing is pretty hot. There’s no point in punishing a girl who’s well-behaved.”
“What are you going to do?” you asked.
“I’m going to spank you for being such a naughty student,” Gojo said. “I don’t want to be too cruel, I know you’re sensitive. That’s fine. I can be nice too.” He looked up at you. “Do you think you can stay still on your own, or…?” He smirked. “Of course you can't.”
“You’re scaring me,” you said, hoping the words would break his act.
“Don’t be afraid,” Gojo told you, rolling his eyes like you were being unreasonable. “I won’t hurt you that much.”
You were going to be sick. “You can’t-”
“Of course I can,” Gojo said, pulling what you recognized as a vibrating wand and a pair of handcuffs from the drawer. “What you mean to say is that I shouldn't. You’re right about that. I'm well aware that this is a bad idea, and I might regret it, but it's too late to let that stop me. You know the feeling, don't you?”
“No, no. You,” you shook your head, unable to form the words in your shock and disbelief at this situation, “you can’t.”
“You already said that,” Gojo said, putting the toys on the bed to kneel on the very edge. You flinched away, but you didn’t dare run. He would definitely catch you, you could feel the thrill in his cursed energy. It was all a game.
“I know,” you said, trying to think of the words to reason with him and coming up short, “but… You can’t.”
“The way you’re looking at me is too good,” he said with a boyish grin. “You genuinely can’t believe that somebody finally called your bluff.”
You shook your head.
“I think this will be good for you,” he said. “You need to learn this lesson. It’s better to learn it here, in a controlled environment.”
Gojo grabbed your legs before you could scramble away. You yelped, slapping his hands when he grabbed your hips. That did nothing to deter him from flipping you onto your belly and wrestling your hoodie and shirt off before collecting your arms and pulling them behind your back. Even though you were fighting him so hard that it hurt, he was barely trying, as if the process of overpowering you was as inconsequential as putting the leash on a small dog. You cried out as he secured your wrists in the handcuffs, giving them a solid tug to test their hold. They were lined with soft material, but they obviously weren’t the fuzzy bachelorette party kind that could be easily escaped. There was no way you could get out of them on your own. You tried to use your cursed energy to break free, but it did nothing. Had he reinforced them somehow? Was that possible?
“Gojo, stop,” you demanded. “You can’t do this, you can’t!”
“It’s humiliating, isn’t it?” he asked, pulling your panties and shorts off in one go, getting them over your legs no matter how hard you tried to kick him off. “Being at the mercy of another person. Next time you think about misbehaving, think about this feeling.”
“Stop it!” you yelled, truly thrashing now. He grunted, sitting with his legs aside your torso, threatening to crush you. “Stop, get off. You’re hurting me!”
“It’s okay if you fight,” Gojo said. “But you know it doesn’t matter, don’t you? You’re so weak.”
“Stop it! Just—ngh-” He shoved your panties into your mouth before you could finish that thought, muffling the words. You just yelled in disgust, in despair, in anger. And it didn’t matter.
Gojo leaned over you, brushing your hair away from your ear to speak directly into it.
“I’m sure you’re having a difficult time thinking clearly, but it’s important you remember what I’m about to tell you,” he said. “The next time I allow you to speak, I expect you to address me properly. I really don’t think that’s too unfair. I am your teacher, I deserve some respect, don't you agree?”
You shouted through the gag, shaking your head back and forth.
Gojo hummed, dropping his shirt on the bed next to you. He lifted his weight from your back and turned around to sit on the edge of the bed. You used the opportunity to roll onto your side, trying to get away from him, but Gojo had no problem collecting you, letting you flop on the bed across his lap while you writhed helplessly. The first touch of his hand against the back of your bare thighs made you jump, tears of humiliation already pressing against the corners of your eyes.
“How many, do you think?” he asked.
No.
There was no way. You shouted in panic, kicking your legs. There was still a part of you that simply rejected this all, that couldn’t believe this would happen. Things like this didn’t happen to you. Not you.
Gojo’s palm landed loudly against your ass, the smack striking your skin with a burst of stinging pain and the sickening flush of humiliation.
“I knew you were going to be a problem from the first time we met,” he told you, rubbing his palm over the sore spot. “You think you’re better than everyone else. I can’t stand undeserved self-importance.”
He spanked you five times in quick succession, spreading them out across your ass and upper thighs. You struggled and yelled and kicked, but his other hand easily kept you in place.
“You’re not fighting very hard. I really thought it would be harder. Are you sure you weren’t secretly hoping I’d do this? You can admit it, I won’t tell anyone.”
You shouted, pooling up all over your cursed energy to fight him off. Gojo rewarded you by spanking you more, focusing on your upper thighs, slapping the same spots over and over until your shouting became sobbing and the skin buzzed, burning red hot.
“I know, that wasn’t very nice,” he said, rubbing the sore flesh, coaxing it out of becoming too numb to his touch. “You’re not very nice either, are you? Wearing all those cute little outfits to tempt me, flaunting that guy to make me jealous.” You yelled in fear when he raised his hand, but he only playfully tapped your ass, digging his long fingers in to knead it, just playing with you. “And then using your friend to taunt me… I think you deserve to be punished for that, don’t you?”
You shook your head frantically, squirming and writhing and kicking to escape. But he spanked you again, and again, and all you could do was endure the pain. Gojo mixed in the playful swats with genuine strikes, keeping you crying, always on the edge, unsure if he was going to hurt you or not, not when he was going to stop or where this would go.
You weren’t counting, and you weren’t sure if he was either, but eventually he let up.
“Mmm, that looks like it hurts,” he said, tracing the tender flesh with his fingertips. You cried, glad he couldn’t see your face. “Poor little thing. Okay, let’s-” Gojo flipped you around, pulling you up onto his lap.
Putting any amount of pressure on your stinging ass made you yelp, your back arching. He didn’t care. He grabbed the vibrator and flicked it on, pushing the head past your pussy’s outer lips to buzz against your entrance before dragging up, drawing slick circles around your clit. You thrashed against him, but your kicking legs couldn’t do anything and there was nowhere to go. Gojo moved with your struggling in an indulgent way, like he was wrangling a disobedient animal, letting you tire yourself out as he tilted the wand this way and that to really grind it against your clit.
“It’s a little intense, I know,” he said. “If you just relax and let yourself enjoy it, you’ll feel so much better.”
You pressed your face against his shoulder, telling him to stop. The words were all mush, muffled by your own panties. Every part of your body was alive and awake and agonizingly sensitive, covered in a thin film of sweat and goose-flesh and anticipation. When he casually toyed with one of your nipples, you felt it like a jolt of electric heat straight down between your legs. The vibrator’s steady hum bypassed any reasonable objection your body would have to pleasure, a reaction as invasive and involuntary as pain.
When you realized you were going to come—going to come like this—you shouted, straining your shoulders in an attempt to escape the cuffs. Gojo laughed, holding you tight as you spasmed and jerked around in his lap. Your hips bucked and the vibrator pressed against your clit just right and you almost blacked out.
“Aha, that’s it, isn’t it?” Gojo asked happily, grinding the vibrator there.
Toomuchtoomuchtoomuchtoomuch—it hurt. You tried to tell him that, you tried to fight your way out of his grasp, you tried to do anything you could to escape but it didn’t matter as your body shuddered with the orgasmic flash of pleasure, a feeling so intense it felt like nausea.
You came with a helpless cry, hiding your face against his shoulder as you jerked with each wave of stifling, intoxicating, sickening heat.
Gojo didn’t stop. You reared back to meet his eye and he just grinned, looking down between your legs to make sure he was keeping the vibrator in exactly the right place to make you spasm and kick and choke, panicked and overwhelmed.
You didn’t know if you were coming again or if it was just one long string of overstimulation tricking your mind into pleasure, but you felt it draw out like soda fizz all the way to your fingertips and toes.
“Okay, what have you learned so far?” Gojo asked, shutting the vibrator off and setting it aside. You mumbled something into the gag, tossing your head back and forth. “Oh, right.” He laughed, pulling your panties out of your mouth. “What have you learned?”
“Stop!” you told him in a wrecked voice, glaring at him with watery eyes. “It doesn’t matter how many times you spank me, or-or… I’m not playing along with your-your sick games, I’m not…” You closed your eyes, struggling to get out of his lap, sobbing and panting and angry and humiliated and-
“Wrong.” Gojo shoved your panties back into your mouth. “You know what? I’m glad you’re a difficult student. Really,” he said. “It’ll be so much more rewarding when you finally learn your lesson.”
You ignored him, squeezing your eyes shut and turning your face away.
“It doesn’t matter what I do to you,” he mused. “That’s what you said, right?”
Without warning, Gojo’s hand landed directly between your legs with a sharp smack. You screamed, really screamed, squeezing your thighs together until the muscles trembled.
“Oi, open your legs,” Gojo told you, his voice low and serious, more than you had ever heard.
You kept your eyes shut, shaking your head fast.
“You’re saying you won’t?” he asked, his fingers tracing along the seam between your legs.
You shook your head again, trying to squirm out of his lap.
“Oh my, what a brave girl,” Gojo cooed mockingly, grabbing one of your legs to pry them apart, catching it with his own leg and pinning it against the bed. He spanked your pussy two, three, four more times, each one making your body jolt violently, another cry gurgling out of your throat.
When his hand landed with a sickening smack for the fifth time, it stayed there, his fingers curling to find your entrance. You bucked against him, shouting for him to stop. Asking him to stop. The words were muffled, there was nothing you could do other than cry and toss your head to the side as he pushed his fingers into you, you couldn’t even close your legs.
“What’s this?” Gojo asked, pulling his fingers out of you. They glistened with evidence of your arousal, of your shame. “It really makes me question which one of us is sick.”
“You!” you shouted, trying to make yourself heard over the gag.
“Me?” Gojo asked, his eyes wide with innocence. “You’re the one who’s getting wet for your teacher. That’s pretty twisted.”
He pushed his fingers back into your pussy, driving them deep and curling them on the way out. For the first time, his breathing was getting unsteady. He kept rolling his hips up to grind against your ass, letting you feel his erection.
“Aaah, you’re really wet. And tight.” He thrust his fingers back into you with a wet squish, scissoring and curling them to make you spasm and shake. “Hey, hey, I’m gonna give you an out right now, okay?” Gojo said, his voice quick with excitement. “If you ask me nicely, we can suspend your punishment and get on to the fun stuff instead.”
He pulled his fingers out to take your panties out of your mouth, dropping them onto the bed.
“Come on,” Gojo said. “Ask me. I know you want it.”
You set your jaw, glaring at him through teary eyes. It was weak, pathetic, and petty, but silence was the only thing you could think to do that wasn’t giving him what he wanted.
He frowned, put out with your response.
“Jeez, you’re such an insufferable brat!” Gojo complained, flipping you onto your stomach. The sudden slap of skin meeting skin followed by the pain when he spanked you again made you scream, your legs pathetically kicking, your shoulders straining to free your hands.
“Stop!” you yelled, your voice shrill.
“Oh? But I thought you were being brave?” He said mockingly, spanking you again, and again.
You sobbed, pressing your face into the bed to muffle yourself as his hand came down again. Even though you fought him, there was nothing you could do to make him stop. True helplessness. It hurt, and there was no escape from it. Not when he took the time to brush his fingers across the tortured skin in between bursts, soothing you with a gentle touch.
“I don’t understand why you’re being such a baby about this,” Gojo said. He grabbed one of your stinging ass cheeks, pulling it to get a good look at your pussy. You knew you were wet. It wasn’t your fault, but you felt the same shame. “It can’t hurt that bad. If I used a cane or a belt or something I’d get it, but I think you’re just making a big deal to try and make me feel bad. It’s not working. You deserve this and, between you and me, it’s kind of sexy to see you so pathetic.”
Without warning, Gojo tossed you onto the bed face up, your arms pinned uncomfortably beneath your back. Your back arched and you dug your heels into the mattress, pushing yourself up the bed until you were curled against the headboard, your legs up to try and hide as much of your body as possible.
“By the way, are you a virgin?” Gojo asked, shoving his pants and underwear off in one go before looking for something on the floor. He found it quickly, returning to the bed. He didn’t care about his nudity. Why should he? He was beautiful and he knew it. Of course Satoru Gojo wouldn’t stop at being the strongest, or the most handsome, or whatever, of course he would have the perfect cock too. “I don’t care either way, I’m just curious.”
“No,” you whispered, shaking your head, averting your eyes from his body to meet his as you pushed yourself into the headboard. They glittered in the dim light, wide and excited.
“No, you’re not a virgin?” Gojo asked. You realized what he had grabbed from the floor when he caught your ankle, forcing your foot through a loop he’d made with his belt.
“No! No, no, stop!” You shouted, trying to keep him from getting your other foot. He frowned when you kicked at him, desperate to keep him away. The resistance of his cursed energy kept you from actually kicking him, and you were rewarded with a hard, mean slap against your inner thigh. You squealed, giving him the chance to get your other foot in the belt cuffs before securing them.
“I was gonna be nice about this, but I guess not,” he said. You whined, sobbing. “You probably like it rough anyway, right? Girls like you always do.”
He pushed your knees up to make space between your legs, letting your bound ankles fall onto his back. You watched him stroking his cock. This was going to happen. He truly intended to fuck you. It didn’t set in until right in that moment how utterly powerless you were to this violation. His fingers had been one thing, but his cock was big enough to hurt if he wasn’t gentle.
“Don’t do this,” you whispered, your voice weak and pathetic. “Satoru, I’m begging you not to. I’m sorry, okay? That’s what you want me to say, right? I’m sorry, so don’t-”
“It’s too late for that,” Gojo said, separating your pussy’s outer lips, his tongue peeking out as he lined up his cock. You made a helpless sound of upset, trying to buck him off, but there was nowhere for you to go. “If you were really sorry, you should have apologized when I gave you the chance.” He pushed his hips forward, just a little, testing the resistance.
“Sensei!” you said, your panicked thoughts finding something to cling onto to make him stop. “Sensei, please stop. Please.”
Gojo smiled, his lips parting when he forced the head of his cock past the initial resistance of your pussy with a jarring pop. He groaned, both of his hands holding onto your waist while he shallowly rocked his hips.
Your mouth fell open, a sensation like shock striking against the viscerally real weight of his dick inside of you. That fell away to panic when he began to move, pushing a little deeper with a pinching ache.
“Ah—fff-take it out!” you squealed.
“Ah, and you were being so good for me,” he said, jolting your body with a hard, mean thrust. You whimpered, and writhed, and your pussy clamped down around him to try and force him out, but it didn’t matter. He was bigger and stronger and you were drenched from the vibrator. “Look at me.”
As soon as you met his eye, he pushed a little deeper, clearly reveling in the way it made your expression twist in pain and betrayal, more tears forming in your eyes and streaking down your temples. He licked his lips, rolling his hips shallowly to let you adjust to the size and weight of his cock. Like he was being nice.
“How can I feel bad when you look at me like that?” he asked, his voice lower and breathy. He pushed deeper again, your body jolting and a helpless sound punched out of your chest.
“It hurts,” you ground out through your teeth, more tears falling into your hair. The desire to be brave faded in direct relation to how much of his cock was inside of you. Being spanked was one thing, but the internal pain of violation wasn’t something you could handle. It was too intimate, too profound, too cruel.
“Yeah, you’re way too tight. That guy clearly hasn’t been fucking you properly. Do you want your sensei to make it better? I’ll help you, all you have to do is ask.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, weighing your options. Option. “Please, sensei,” you said, hating yourself a little more.
“Look at me when you’re begging,” Gojo said.
You winced, but the sudden snap of his hips made you relent. You met his dangerous, beautiful eyes. “Please, Gojo-sensei. It hurts, please make it better.”
“Aw, you’re such a good girl,” he cooed, grabbing your cheeks. “Of course I’ll help you.” His hand lowered to pin you down by the neck while he fumbled in the sheets beside you with the other. You heard the vibrator turn on a second before it was against your clit. There wasn’t anywhere for your body to go when you seized up, your back snapping into a nearly painful arch.
“No!” you yelped, but it was hard to get anything out from the obstruction of his hand on your neck.
It didn’t matter that his cock was big enough to hurt as he continued to push it into you. It didn’t matter that your shoulders burned or that your hands were numb.
“Go ahead and come,” Gojo told you sweetly. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? It’ll make this easier.”
You grit your teeth, breathing out hard through your nose, trembling as that little bubble burst, your pussy spasming around his cock as he began to set a steady pace. When his hips met your ass, slapping against the raw skin, you cried and yelled, but it all got lost in the confused haze of pleasure and pain and confusion and disgust and so much, too much.
Gojo was laughing. Fucking you too fast and too hard, focusing the vibrator right against your clit to keep you moving with him, your body writhing beneath his like you wanted it, soaking his cock until the room was filled with the profane sound of skin slapping and wet squelching.
“Mmm, it feels good, right?” Gojo asked. “I know you think I’m mean, but I really only want to take care of you.”
You came again, babbling the words ‘no’ and ‘can’t’ and ‘stop’ as if they had any meaning anymore, as if you weren’t well on your way to coming again despite how torturous the excess of stimulation had become.
“Sometimes, that means I have to be a little hard on you.” He fucked you hard enough to knock your head into the headboard, the entire thing pounding against the wall with each solid thrust. It hurt, it felt like he was splitting you apart, slamming against your cervix without even an attempt at kindness. But, at the same time, he turned the vibrator up a setting, rubbing little circles onto your clit.
Gojo put a hand on your mouth to stifle your scream, it was that loud and shrill, borderline feral with the terrifying intensity of your orgasm. You didn’t want to come anymore. You really didn’t, you felt like you were going to die if you did. And he laughed, giving up on the hard pace to fuck you fast, his breathing becoming increasingly unsteady and his laugh shivering out into moans.
Sobbing into his hand, you came again, unable to understand anything beyond the cock pounding into you and the vibrator torturing your clit.
Gojo dropped the vibrator suddenly, pulling out of you with a helpless sound. For a second, you heard the lewd schlick schlick schlick of his hand desperately fisting his cock and then you felt hot spurts of cum on your chest and your stomach. He finally took his hand off of your mouth, turning the vibrator off. All you could hear was your breathing and his breathing and the frantic pounding of blood in your ears.
“Whew, okay,” Gojo said, lifting your legs to get out from under them. “Where were we with the lesson? I think… I was spanking you and you were being a brat about it. Have you had a change of heart?”
You sobbed brokenly, squeezing your eyes shut. Trying to adjust to the shift of tone while you were still reeling from getting fucked, your torso covered in sweat and cum, felt like one of the most cruel things he had done so far.
“Please, sensei, please no more,” you begged, your voice breathy and cracking at the end. “Gojo-sensei please, I-I do, I respect you. I’ll—anything, please just…”
“Ahh, there’s a good girl. Finally,” Gojo said gently. “Okay, three more, and then I’ll forgive you.”
“No!” you cried hoarsely. “Please, no more.” You strained against the cuffs, thrashing as much as you were able. “Please, I’ll do… Please.”
“I need to make sure the lesson sticks,” Gojo said sweetly. “You’ve been so unreceptive. Three more, and then I’ll let you come again.”
“No!” you squealed, even more upset by that. The idea of feeling the vibrator again physically hurt, it was almost worse than the idea of him spanking you again.
“I want you to count them, okay?” Gojo asked pitilessly.
You sobbed, shaking your head, but you couldn’t do anything when he rolled you onto your belly.
“Don’t be so dramatic about it,” he scolded, getting behind you and pulling your hips up so you were on your knees, your back arching. He spanked you and you yelped, burying your face in the pillows. Gojo waited before sighing. “Count them, otherwise I’ll lose track. You wouldn’t want that, would you? We’d be here all night.”
You sniffled, peeling your face out of the pillows to turn your head. “One,” you whispered.
His hand landed again, right over the first. You cried out a word that mostly sounded like, “Two!”
And again, one of the hardest so far. “Thre-EE-”
“There, wasn’t that easy?” Gojo cooed, flipping you around and grabbing your ankles by the belt cuffs, pushing your knees up to your chest. When you heard the vibrator turn on, you tried to get away, squealing out your objections, sobbing and desperate and flinching away from the mere idea of more. It was like being presented with a bottle of liquor after a bout of alcohol poisoning.
“No, please no more, I can’t, please.”
“I told you, one more,” Gojo said. “You can do one more, can’t you? I think you can.”
You wailed when he pushed the vibrator against your swollen, oversensitive pussy, grinding it in little circles right over your clit while you spasmed and shook and tried desperately to escape the inevitable.
Coming when you were so overstimulated wasn’t pleasant, it was just more and more and too much, all of it piled onto your overloaded nervous system and making you shake as the pitiless heat flared up to bursting, pulling your body taut, and then it snapped, leaving you even more helplessly, hopelessly overstimulated than before.
Gojo didn’t pull it away, continuing to grind the vibrator against your clit, cruelly drawing out your feverish torment.
You wailed, your head tossing back into the pillows, your hips wildly trying to twist out of his reach. “Yo—ou said-”
“One more,” Gojo finished for you. “Come on, don’t be such a baby about it.”
Your nostrils flared and you sobbed pathetically and your pussy felt like it was burning just as desperately as your sore ass, but Gojo was going to wring one more orgasm out of you. It wasn’t hard, even if it hurt. Even if you cried and shook and felt the world darken around the edges when you felt the surge of pleasure fizzle out through you before it left you pained and panting and miserable.
But he finally shut the toy off, letting it fall to the side.
“What do we say?” Gojo asked, dropping your legs and falling onto his side next to you, propping his head up with one hand.
You groaned, your chest hitching with every breath. “I don’t…”
“Thank you, sensei,” he prompted sweetly, “for teaching me manners.”
“Thank you, sensei,” you repeated dumbly, keeping your eyes closed rather than acknowledge his heavy stare. “Thank you for teaching me manners.”
He laughed. “Wow, that’s really embarrassing. Earlier you were bragging about how it didn’t matter what I did to you, weren’t you? I was almost impressed with your resolve, it’s a shame to see it cave in so easily. What happened?”
You sobbed, shaking your head. “Shut up, you’re… It wasn’t my fault, it was you who… who…”
Gojo hissed, pulling a breath in through his teeth. It was a bad sound. A dangerous sound. “What was that?”
“Nothing,” you said, your eyes snapping open with fear. “I’m sorry, I’m…”
He frowned. “Maybe you haven’t learned your lesson after all,” he heaved out a big breath, sitting up. “That’s fine, I’m ready to go again. Anything for my favorite student, hm?”
#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#jjk gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#not sfw#tw. noncon#my writing#EVERYONE KNOWS IT
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@vacuously-true is making me post my funny discord messages
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Bits and pieces of the still incredibly written backstory of Elden Ring continue to poke out from the dogwater, as it were.
St. Trina, as we learn, was a specific aspect of Miquella that was made separate: In Miquella's words, St Trina was the embodiment of his 'love.' And when he abandoned St Trina, he abandoned that aspect of himself that made her.
This newly introduced example reveals to us what the nature of Radagon's exactly was, in turn.
Radagon, the 'other half' of Marika in the exact same way that St Trina had been for Miquella, we learn here, had *himself* been a specific singular aspect of Marika's emotions or feelings.
With St Trina having been made out of Miquella's 'love.'
You wonder, too, what Radagon should have been made from.
What aspect of herself did Marika separate into her second person, as called by her the "Loyal Dog of the Golden Order"? We know Radagon was created prior to the creation of the Golden Order itself, since he was involved in the invasion of Liurnia.
So at the same time as Marika was married to Godfrey, begetting Godwyn and Mogh and Morgott. Radagon was married to Renalla, begetting Rykard and Radahn and raising the potential successor of Marika--the Empyrean Ranni. He was given a massive amount of responsibility, the seeming crux of the Liurnian-Leyndell alliance that ended the Liurnian Wars that Marika's empire was losing, and he by every account was completely dedicated and successful; even weakening the strength of the Carian royal family by reducing their practicing of astrology.
All yet, when push came to shove: After Godwyn was assassinated and Marika sought to destroy the Elden Ring. It was Radagon who dropped everything he had and stepped in to stop her.
"Proudly" as his Golden Order Greatsword says,
Radagon divorced his first wife, married his 'original self,' begettedthe Twin Prodigies Miquella and Malenia as two more potential successors to Queen Marika, set up the brutal inquisition and censorship of the Age of Radagon headed by his own son Rykard, and was even involved with the very the development of Golden Order fundamentalism!
Radagon did so much fucking stuff! He was so damn proactive! So what exactly must he have been!?
That Marika initially separated from herself? And who went on to try and stop her very own plans when they turned against the wishes of the Greater Will??
This conflicting 'half' of her original person! That nonetheless was all this strongly willed on his own!?
What part of Marika COULD Radagon have originally been!?!?!?
And it's awesome. It's really really well-designed writing.
Frankly, even, it's genius. It's not anything revolutionary in terms of narrative devices or anything like that, but it's really elegant. It's really meaningful and concise, and it's really cool!!!
A lot of Elden Ring's base game is, or now maybe--was. (It having been the basis of my entire show on YouTube.)
But the actual story, instead of solely the backstory, of the DLC, unfortunately, is not!
You ever seen a boss item whose entire description was literally entirely the game just fucking QUOTING ITSELF?
Hyetta at Frenzied Flame Proscription: "Become their lord. Take their torment, despair. Their affliction. Every sin, every curse. And melt it all away. As the Lord of Chaos."
Ghost outside Church of Inhibition in Liurnia: "Ahh, Lord Vyke, it seems that you were no lord, after all."
Midras's Flame of Frenzy, from killing Midras, Lord of Frenzied Flame:
Or! Better yet, ANOTHER boss spell, whose entire description is dedicated to literally just acknowledging its fucking colour!!
Land of Shadows, from killing the Scadutree Avatar:
I definitely sure wish I still hadn't!!
In fact, I don't think the level of vacuousness from Shadow of the Erdtree's descriptions has ever been seen before!
Not even in Dark Souls 3!!
AUGH
#tlgtw ooc#erwset#elden ring#elden ring lore#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#shadow of the erdtree#queen marika#radagon of the golden order#miquella the unalloyed#st trina#Outright actually literally 0 meaningful information provided in either of these two items#each of them the 1 out of only 2 rewards available for beating a major boss.#these are also just two of the worse examples of some of the most meaningless fucking item description I've literally ever read#I could not fucking believe it when I finally beat these bosses at the very end of the DLC's completion. And that that was it.#Heck on earth#Why couldn't they have just delayed it
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Hello there!
Join us on Tumblr Live for a Q&A session with Tumblr’s CEO, @photomatt, and some special guests from across Tumblr teams.
Tune in Tuesday, July 11, at 2pm PT on Tumblr Live!
#screw tumblr live#put your meeting on questiontime so EVERYONE can interact#live so bad it's outlawed in some countries#booooo#it's gonna be like drumpf rally where only 100 people showed up and they had to pretend it was sold out#lmao 🤣🤣🤣#i hope only your specifically paid 'live' bloggers show up and stare vacuously at you because you haven't given them a script
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I think a lot of the basis for anarchism's common 'How would we deal with that? Well, it simply wouldn't happen,' problem is the notion of human behaviour 'in a vacuum'.
In reality, we're not building society in a vacuum. We're building it in the real world, out of our real society. We're not imagining some scenario where a bunch of generic people appear in a forest clearing and build a town, we're planning how to improve the society we actually exist in, a society populated by our real neighbours, with all their social dependencies and baggage. Maybe, indeed, a human being in the abstract would have no reason to steal from common stockpiles, or behave antisocially, or refuse to work when able - it is vacuously true. We can't care about supposed innate human nature, all human behaviour is dependent on context and environment. You need to think through the question of 'what happens when someone does anyway?' - because the answer might not be a comfortable one. Refusing to acknowledge the hard questions and their implications doesn't make you better than those that have openly stated what difficult measures and compromises they will navigate. Most of the time, when pressed, the answer to 'what happens' from those who have attempted to ignore the question, is 'death squad', or 'nobody owes you anything'.
Necessarily, whenever we look ahead to a planned future, we also need to look at what it requires to go from here to there. Instead of just appearing, history-free in a settlement, we must make our own way there, fighting against every force that would intend to keep us where we are. We can definitively say this about our future: the organisations and institutions that will build it will have to be ones that have not only survived but also won a revolutionary civil war, against the forces of police and military technology and equipment. That immediately precludes what directions we can organise towards. We have a fixed basis: our present society; and we have now, too, a fixed direction: a fighting organisation that can survive, grow, and organise an entire society around itself. Critically, we also have a wealth of historical experience as to how such things are done - how to fight, how to win. Those are the key things - how do we, tomorrow, today if we're free, start working towards the total military defeat of our enemy, and the preservation of ourselves, in the real world? 'How will we deal with that?' is an incredibly important question to answer now, when we're not yet in a muddy hole shooting fascists and bleeding.
Fundamentally, this is not a thought experiment, this is not a ponderance on the nature of man, it is a matter of practical planning, for when our strikes are dispersed by armed force, and when our breakfast programs are assaulted by fascist thugs. Anything less can only reveal a lack of actual revolutionary aims.
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Timothy Drake-Wayne, or “Business Tim” as Bart has dubbed him, is a force to be reckoned with. It’s not an iteration of Tim that any of their vigilante social circle is privy to terribly often, and part of that is intentional - he’s downright unnerving, not because he’s ruthlessly efficient (Tim always is), or because he’s basically a genius (ditto), but because he’s so- normal. So polished.
(Red) Robin’s merciless professionalism in the costume has always come with a hearty side helping of downright strangeness that had made his otherwise terrifying competency a little bit easier to tolerate. While it hadn’t watered him down any, it had at least added a layer of humanity to the whole child prodigy schtick - like, Kon and the rest of them could content themselves with the knowledge that, sure, Rob was already solving crime at the level of the literal Batman, but he also ate his Froot Loops with fucking orange juice, and had once watched an eight hour video essay on a German vampire show he’d never even seen before in one sitting and come out the other side temporarily unable to form complete sentences in English. It was all about balance.
Business Tim, on the other hand, is smart, hardworking, punctual, and impressively, horrifically bland. Business Tim greets coworkers with the sort of vacuously polite smile that belongs in a toothpaste commercial; Business Tim’s hobbies are reading books on empathic leadership and watching Jeopardy; Business Tim claims to have left his skateboarding days behind him, and instead drives an Audi A4 in Cobra Beige to work every day, and never, ever speeds. It’s like he’s managed to couple the unassuming harmlessness of Brucie Wayne with Tim’s own brand of “absolutely needing to be the best at everything he does, ever” and create the perfect storm of corporate soullessness.
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you've been waiting a while for a new maths update - and it's finally here!
improvements include:
in gender selection screen, added "sumtraction" option
fixed bug where positive divergent sums evaluated to negative numbers
added new 2-dimensional version of off-by-1 errors - off-by-[1,1]
changed the discrete maths server to a PvP zone (note: computer science is still PvNP)
the category theory DLC is now (co)free!
to prevent confusion with function graphs, all voiced lines pronounce "graph theory" with a soft g
fixed "vacuously true" glitch
integrals can now disobey fundamental theorem of calculus when unhappy. they become happy again if fed logarithmic functions
hyperbolic geometry no longer exaggerates as a rhetorical device (note: spherical geometry left the same as before)
rebalanced primes so that 4k+1's and 4k+3's alternate in Thue-Morse pattern. added an uncomputable 4k+2 prime
hot combinatorial games now distribute their temperature according to the laws of thermodynamics; cold games are now superconductive
added demo of "finitist hardcore" gamemode. as of now only two levels are available
subtraction is now associative
recursion is now recursive
added a nontrivial linear, associative, commutative binary operation on the positive reals, over which addition is distributive
exponentiated liner logic, so that additive logic is multiplicative and multiplicative logic is exponential
fixed "negative probability" glitch
redesigned the Tits Building and the Cox-Zucker Machine
fixed trigonometry
increased hitboxes for infinitesimals
added lootboxes
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I just want to say that the sentence "Pluto is not a Planet; it's a Dwarf Planet" is Ridiculous, cuz "Planet" is right there.
Like: something can be a subclass of something, It's Fine. We can say "Pluto is a Planet, it's just a Smol Planet"; that's a Totally Fine Thing to Say, we say that about ALLOT of things!
It is more important in science and scholarship that we have clear definitions which we apply consistently, than that the outcome of those definitions be aesthetically pleasing to us(in fact, that's kind of what science IS). That a handful of high-profile planetarium administrators in the 90s thought it'd be a Hassle and Ugly to have dozens of objects in the Solar System count as "planets" is not a valid reason to 1)create a new definition of "planet" specifically designed to prevent that outcome, and then 2)apply it inconsistently, as we have done, to exclude a specific celestial body(Pluto).
Frankly, doing that strikes me not just as unscientific, but also as a little bit juvenile. The guy who came up with the plan Even Wrote A Book Bragging About It for fuck's sake. I've never read this book and have no idea if it actl does that beyond the title, I just thought this sentence was funny, but that's also sort of my point: should we really be making epistemological determinations on the basis of subjective taste? Of Course Not. That isn't science, and excluding Pluto isn't scientific. Pluto is spherical, it orbits a star, and it's big enough to have a significant gravitic effect on other celestial bodies: It's a Planet.
tl;dr: Pluto is a Dwarf Planet, which is a subclass of Planets, and That's OK.
P.S.: having said all that: "plutoid", the term astronomers coined in 2008 for bodies like this as a compromise, is a Really Cool Word I'd love to see ppl start using :> :> :>
You know how there's like some mathematician or something, who like did some useful stuff but is primarily known for overshadowing that work by going to great lengths trying to convince people to blow up the moon or something?
I wanna be like that but the hill I'm dying on is that the moon should be considered a planet
#vacuously true#hereticalteapot#fermatas theorem#Astronomy#Pluto#Planets#Dwarf Planets#Taxonomy#Science#Philosophy#Our Staff#reblog replies#appreciative reblogs#Dwarf Planets are Planets#Pluto is a Planet#zA's Pompous Philosophizing#zA's Haughty Empiricism#I dont actl care that much about this beyond the question of Consistent and Rigorous Definitions in science#but that's also kind of WHY I care? Like: it's weird to me that Dr Brown cared that much about declassifying Pluto#It's WEIRD to me that Dr Tyson gets so giddy about this topic#and obvsl: that Tyson is ALSO a ~we live in a simulation~ mystic who sometimes favors aesthetics over rigorous science makes me Suspicious#but anyway#minitagrants
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