#vacation erwin smith

[fleabrainedmania]

Erwin wearing this on vacation to embarrass Levi

[nininikki]

𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐘: 𝐀𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 + 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

summary! — wedding headcanons for the aot boys + hange

warnings! — mentions of sex, slight suggestiveness, pregnancy, rich people (erwin and armin), a bit of angst on reiner’s

author’s note! — this was so fun to write. got to live my dream of marrying every single one of them 🙌🏽

word count! — 2.4k

ERWIN SMITH

erwin’s got old, old, old money, and what better way for him to spend it than on your dream wedding?

you’re his dream, his baby, his queen, so of course he married you in a castle (will get to that later, but yes! a castle!)

it wasn’t random at all for erwin to surprise you with sporadic vacations, so when he took you to greece one summer—where you traipsed around on beaches with your lover and let him dangle fruits above your mouth—you hadn’t suspected anything.

but one night you two are coming home from dinner, you’re full of pasta but fat with happiness and you’re not sure things can get any better.

until erwin leads you onto the private beach behind your house, where he kneels into the sand at your feet and asks you to be his wife.

of COURSE, you said yes (after you nearly tackled him into the sand whilst screaming your head off like a decapitated chicken)

now, i imagine him proposing with like a nice big diamond that can be seen on your finger from miles away.

he just wants everyone who sees you to know you’re happily married.

now, the wedding…

this man doesn’t know what it is to hold back.

everything is perfect. perfect, perfect, perfect. like straight out of an old disney movie.

you guys get married on one of his family’s old properties in france, ahem, the castle i mentioned earlier.

it’s actually majestic. beautiful autumn scenery, endless space, the perfect amount of solitude

(you were so tempted to spend your honeymoon—and maybe the rest of your life—there but erwin had other plans, obviously)

but everything was incredible—the food: amazing. the decorations: even more amazing.

(which was partly erwin’s doing. he’d sit in bed with you late at night, reading glasses perched over his nose, and pick out chairs and champagne glasses and different flower arrangements. he’s just so perfect.)

you had many, many guests so it was wedding gifts galore.

his parents—we’ll call them mr. and mrs. smith—gifted y’all a house out in the french countryside. 

it was a dream, and you had the dreamiest, most perfect man to share it with! 🥹💘🪽🪽

bonus: erwin took you to so many places for your honeymoon. trying new foods in south korea, cruising on his yacht in brazil, and shopping sprees in london (you’re also pretty sure you two conceived, like, ten babies on his yacht)

EREN JAEGER

now, listen…

the love this man has for you is infinite and insurmountable, hence why his proposal wasn’t even planned.

let me explain!

he wakes up one morning and the first thing he sees is you. still asleep and cheek smushed over your stack of pillows, just existing as the perfection you were, and something snapped.

you were beautiful, you were special, you were his. why hadn’t he married you yet? why hadn’t he done something to guarantee he got to wake up to this sight every morning?

so, a few minutes later when you wake up, you’re ambushed by a hoard of kisses and ‘i love you’s. 

he punctuates each kiss with a persistently dazed, “marry me,” and by the time he stops to let you catch your breath, fresh tears begin to sting at the corners of his eyes. 

excitedly, sleepily, passionately, you accept. (& also wrapped your arms around his neck and practically glued yourself there the entire day)

the months spent wedding planning are tedious but oh so worth it. 

eren hadn’t exactly got around to buying a ring, so that was its own difficult journey 

(he wanted you to have something as special and perfect as you were. i can see him doing an emerald, maybe???—it reminds me of his eyes ok—or possibly just a regular diamond)

eren’s kind of a diva, but it’s sooo cute.

“what do you mean peonies aren’t in season? my fiancée wants peonies, she’s getting ‘em.” “eren, honey, i can do without the—” “shhh, baby, i’m negotiating.”

winter wedding! you two get married in a beautiful ballroom! lots of regal vibes. beautiful decorations, ornate setting, there was even a live band 🥹

eren sees you walking down the aisle and cries.

like trying not to ugly cry but it’s no use because the tears have fallen and the snot is halfway out his nose.

he’s in love like that.

bonus: hawaii honeymoon 🌺 the two of you splash around in the waters for what feels like forever, then spend even longer drying under the sun.  

REINER BRAUN

shortly after finding out you were pregnant, (3 months to be exact) reiner popped the question. 

the two of you, but especially you, were a horrid whirlpool of emotions. excited to be pregnant, scared to be pregnant, wracked with confusion and fear and what have you.

hence why you said no the first time he asked.

you figured reiner was only doing it out of some guilt or moral obligation, and couldn’t bring yourself to say yes knowing he’d be marrying you out of anything but love. 

but, ohhhhhhh, if you knew how bad this man loved you.

the way he’d talk about you to any and everyone—bertholdt, annie, eren, jean, his mom, the poor cashier at target who made the dire mistake of asking if the bouquet in his grasp was for anyone special. anyone who’d listen, really!

the way he already had the ring bought!!! before he even knew you were pregnant! you’re the love of his life, and he needs to marry you. no matter the circumstances.

so, he asks again. and this time he’s sure to put all your worries to rest.

“i don’t care what happens tomorrow, i’m still gonna want to marry you. whether you’re pregnant or—god forbid—you’re not. you’re always gonna be everything i want, so just…please. please let me be your husband.”

by the time reiner’s finished, there isn’t a dry eye in the room. 

(albeit the two of you are alone. but shhh)

you accept his proposal, and he’s lifting you off your feet and spinning you in giddy, newly-engaged circles.

wedding planning is fairly easy, seeing as reiner wants to do it all. like won’t let you lift a finger. 

“un-unh, baby. don’t you worry your pretty head about it. i’ve got it all covered.” “rei, i’m pregnant, not stupid. give me the computer.”

although, you (and the baby braun inside you) grow to adore cake testing. reiner has to tear you away from a chocolate cake, kicking and screaming. (and he does it with nothing but love in his eyes)

reiner sees you walking down the aisle in your beautiful dress with your hand resting over your bump and actually cries. like the sight is too much for him to bear and he’s sniffling horribly by the time you both say i do.

when it’s time to “kiss the bride” reiner shamelessly tongues you down in front of who and whatever (by the end of the kiss you had honestly forgotten the two of you weren’t alone)

summer backyard wedding!!! (mainly because reiner wanted to grill. & you definitely weren’t complaining.) a good 1/3 of your wedding photos include you tearing into a barbecue sausage or burying your face in a slice of cake.

when you and reiner get home that night, you’re both fat with adoration and thoroughly seasoned ribs. you’re happy. you’re married. 

bonus: reiner rents a house in the countryside and you guys honeymoon there. you revel in the peace and quiet and solitude. (it’s all you’re getting before the baby comes)

ARMIN ARLERT

just like erwin, armin’s got olddddd money

it’s not like he keeps it a secret but he’s definitely shy about it.

he wanted to be sure you were 100% for him & you obviously were

so he proposed to you while on a weekend getaway to nantucket. 

you spent a beautiful two weeks at his house there. drinking champagne on beaches, letting him teach you how to play tennis (you suck horribly), perusing around on his amazingly spacious property. 

it was perfect

“i think you already know why i brought you here,” he’d say while getting down on one knee.

of course you had no idea, and you had to fight the urge to scream your throat raw right there! 

(there, being the picturesque garden of wildflowers behind his home that he had planted just for this occasion)

i feel like your engagement ring is beautiful, oval cut diamond that weighs your finger down 😵‍💫😵‍💫

wedding planning is a crazy beautiful mess with him.

you both have big families that live all over the world, and you just get so caught up trying to please everyone

armin has to remind you that this is your wedding, and whatever you want goes

side note: he’s willing to pay stupid amounts of money to get you whatever you want 

“omg babe, this girl on instagram had horses for her wedding. how cool is that?” “horses? yeah, we can do that. i’ll just have to call my guy & figure it all out. but don’t worry, baby, you’ll get all the horses you want.”

armin just screams summer hamptons wedding!

like beautiful flower arrangements, tranquil sounds of the water in the distance, and hors d’oeuvres that were to die for.

armin thinks you look like a princess walking out of a dream as you come down the aisle, and the feeling is only amplified when he lifts the veil away from your face and kisses you as your husband for the first time.

the wedding gifts are crazy

from designer heels, (courtesy of mikasa) to mansions in germany (courtesy of armin’s inheritance)

bonus: you honeymoon in the maldives on a property his family owns 😵‍💫 sex by the ocean goes so crazy

CONNIE SPRINGER

this mf screeeeeaaamms elopement.

let me elaborate!

he’s got a very “you only live once” mentality, which isn’t helped by the fact that he’s madly in love with you.

you’re reading on the couch as he rests his head on your lap when he asks, “hey, why haven’t we gotten married yet?” “well, connie people usually wait for that sort of thing.” “yeah but, like, what are we waiting for?”

leads to him having a whole speech about how life and how grateful how his life can change at any moment but you’re the only constant you want in it (sappy baby)

“i could die in eighty years or eighty days, and you’re the person i’d wanna be married to. so, fuck it. why wait?” “are you serious, connie?” “come to the courthouse with me right now and see just how serious i am.”

thirty minutes later, you’re parked outside the nearest courthouse with your now fiancé, clammy fingers intertwined as you two plant reassuring kisses over each other’s faces.

“you can” kiss. “change your mind if you want” kiss kiss. “& we can” kiss kiss kiss. “go home & forget this happened.” “why would i do that, con?”

sasha acts as your witness, and the two of you are married not even three hours later

when it’s time to kiss the bride, connie takes advantage of the practically empty room and doesn’t hold back as he makes out with you. the poor officiant can attest to that. 

it finally starts to dawn on you when you’re leaving the courthouse, hand in hand with your husband (even thinking the word made you feel tingly inside) and you’re letting him kiss you in plain sight. 

not caring for the passerby’s that may be entering or exiting or whatever. why would you? you’re married!!

connie lifts you off your feet twirls you around, finally breaking away from the kiss to rasp, “my wife, my wife, my wife.”

you two go to the mcdonald’s across the street and have your first meal together as husband and wife (which includes an oreo mcflurry that you feed to each other because you’re in love like that)

the entire rest of the day you can’t stop telling strangers that you’re married

the florist at the flower store when they ask what the special occasion is? connie can’t hold back ecstatic giggles as he says, “oh, just getting some flowers for my girl. we’re newlyweds.”

you go to get your ring sized at the jeweler’s and the lovely woman helping asks, “celebrating anything?” oh, if only she knew what was about to commence.

that evening, you rent go carts and race around on the track until you’re dizzy and limp.

you return home that night and fuck like rabbits go straight to sleep!

bonus: cross country road trip honeymoon! just you and him and the endless skies and roads ahead. there’s no place you’d rather be. 

HANGE ZOË

the entire time they propose, they’re a stuttering mess. 

don’t get me wrong, it’s the cutest thing ever, but usually hange is pretty quick-witted and funny.

so, when you’re coming home from work and gingerly following the trail of maroon roses that leads to your room, you’re utterly delighted to see hange standing at the other end of it.

the delight quickly turns to stark shock when they get down on one knee.

hange is all blushy and shy and sooooo not like they are normally. it’s insane

“would you want to, uh, do me the honor of…um, idontfuckinknow…would you marry me, is what i’m trying to ask.”

and of course, you would marry them. 

you practically tackle them to the ground before they can get all the syllables out, which leads to you knocking the ring in their hand from their grip.

you spend the next thirty minutes looking for it. kissing and hugging as you crawl over the rose-covered floor.

“i was so nervous to ask” kiss. “cause i didn’t think you’d say yes.” kiss kiss. “but you did.” kiss kiss kiss. “i’m so happy, honey.” kiss. “of course i said yes.” kiss. “you make me happier” kiss. “than anything.” kiss kiss. “i can’t wait to marry you.” “same here, honey. but we really gotta find that ring. it cost me a pretty penny.”

you end up finding the ring and once you do, you never take it off. 

it’s practically glued to your finger now.

hange is such a diva with wedding planning but you love it

but it’s only because they want your wedding to be the best thing ever (and it is)

beach wedding!!!! (so hange can wear a shirt that’s halfway unbuttoned while the wind blows through their hair ufieiwjejr)

but no seriously, the most beautiful, picturesque, serene wedding ever. 

when it’s time to kiss the bride, hange kisses you so hard their glasses almost break (cue levi gagging next to y’all)

you and hange feed each other respective cake slices during the reception. 

you two are a frosting covered mess by the end of it. 💞

bonus: i see you two honeymooning somewhere tropical. hange loves any wild animal and would def wanna be in the ocean chasing around stingrays or smth. my lil cutie patootie.

© NININIKKI. do not repost, translate, copy, or modify my works in any way shape or form.

[gojocumdumpster]

Masterlist!

Baki Grappler, Kengan Ashura, Attack On Titan, My hero academia (more anime’s are coming)

Don’t steal my stuff thief’s🚔

I just made this so that’s why it’s not full

Nsfw: 🔥 Sfw:🎂

To be continued:🛠️

Requested:🌹

Baki Masterlist: 🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐

Baki:

My name is Baki..Baki Hanma🎂 Doing his makeup🎂 Playing among us with him🎂 Him with a s/o who has braces🎂🌹 What he prefer a sporty,artsy or business s/o 🎂🌹 My name is Baki…Baki hanma 2🎂 Next time watch who your talking to🔥🌹 What are there halloween costumes and who’s the drunkest🎂🌹 Meeting a hispanic reader🎂🌹 Reader giving them boob hug🌹🎂 Do you ever listen?🔥

Jack Hanma Doing his makeup🎂 Playing among us with him🎂 Him with a s/o who has braces🎂🌹 What are there halloween costumes and who’s the drunkest🎂🌹 Meeting a hispanic reader🎂🌹 Reader giving them a boob hug 🎂🌹

Retsu Kaioh Playing among us with him🎂 Him with a s/o who has braces🎂🌹 Meeting a hispanic reader🎂🌹 Black girl clothing maker🎂🌹

Kaoru Hanayama

Doing his makeup🎂 Him with a s/o who has braces 🎂🌹 What he prefer a sporty,artsy or business s/o 🎂🌹 What’s it like being hanayama’s assistant🎂 Meeting a hispanic reader🎂🌹

Doppo Orochi What he prefer a sporty,artsy or business s/o 🎂🌹 Meeting a black reader 🎂 Meeting a hispanic reader🎂🌹 Reader giving them boob hug🌹🎂

Katsumi Orochi What he prefer a sporty,artsy or business s/o 🎂🌹 Meeting a black reader🎂 What are there halloween costumes and who’s the drunkest🎂🌹 Meeting a hispanic reader🎂🌹

Pickle Doing his makeup🎂 Pickle with shy s/o 🌹🎂 Playing among us with him🎂 Him with a s/o who has braces🎂🌹 Is he really my True Love?🎂 Is he really my true love 2?🎂 Valentines day with pickle🎂🔥 Bad things pickle does🎂 Pebbles and stones🎂 What are there halloween costumes and who’s the drunkest🎂🌹 Going against his s/o turns into?🌹🎂 Christmas with pickle🎂

Kiyosumi Katou🐀 Playing among us with him🎂

Jun Guvera Yandere Headcanons🎂🌹🔥 Meeting a black reader 🎂 What are there halloween costumes and who’s the drunkest🎂🌹

Biscuit Oliva Meeting a black reader🎂 What are there halloween costumes and who’s the drunkest🎂🌹

Kureha Shinogi Meeting a black reader🎂

Yujiro Hanma Him with a s/o who has braces🎂🌹 Playing among us with him 🎂 Reader giving them boob hug🎂🌹

Kengan Ashura Masterlist: 🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐

Ohma Tokita

Spending the day with him. 🎂 What he prefer a sporty,artsy or business s/o 🎂🌹 There reaction to raian having a kid and being married🎂🌹 Jealous head-cannons🎂🌹

Cosmo Imai What he prefer a sporty,artsy or business s/o 🎂🌹 There reaction to raian having a kid and being married🎂🌹 “I guess you can call that wrestling”🔥🌹 Jealous head-cannons🎂🌹

Raian Kure Spending the day with him🎂 There reaction to raian having a kid and being married🎂🌹 Jealous head-cannons🎂🌹

Setsuna Kiryu

Kaolan Wongsawat Spending the day with him🎂 There reaction to raian having a kid and being married🎂🌹

Kanoh Agito Spending the day with him🎂 There reaction to raian having a kid and being married🎂🌹 Jealous head-cannons🎂🌹

Hanafusa Hajime Jealous head-cannons🎂🌹

The kengan boys:

Spending the day with them.🎂

Attack On Titan Masterlist: 🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐

Eren yeager 3 day vacation 🔥 3 day vacation 2🔥 Black leather jacket🎂 Black leather jacket🔥

Levi Ackerman☕️

Pissing of Levi🎂

Erwin Smith Nsfw alphabet🌹🔥

Mikasa Ackerman

Reiner Braun

Armin Arlert

Jean Kirstein

Sasha Blouse🥔

Zeke Yeager

Mike Zacharias👃

The 4 Sexy dilfs:

Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist: 🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐

Gojo satoru Things he does to annoy you🎂 His favorite cuddle position🎂 Lending out a helping hand🎂🌹 Lending out a helping hand 2🎂🌹

Nanami Kento His favorite cuddle position 🎂 Day in a life as Nanami’s wife🎂

Geto Suguru His favorite cuddle position 🎂

Megumi Fushiguro His favorite cuddle position 🎂

Yuji Itadori His favorite cuddle position🎂

Toji Fushiguro His favorite cuddle position 🎂

Ryomen Sukuna His favorite cuddle position 🎂

The 5 Hot Dilfs

My hero Academia Masterlist: 🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐🫐

Izuku Midoriya

Katsuki Bakugo

Shoto Todoroki🔥❄️

All Might

Tenya Iida

Fumikage Tokoyami

Tomura Shigaraki

Denki Kaminari

Enji Todoroki 🔥

Dabi Todoroki 🔥

Shōta Aizawa

Hanta Sero

Tamaki Amajiki🐙

Present Mic 🎤

The 3 Fine Dilfs:

Adding more after I get majority of them done

[deardolli3]

your blog is so cool! could you maybe do some erwin romantic or dadwin headcanons? thank you! 💫

erwin smith relationship hcs

a/n: hi lovie!! im sooo late to this but ofc!! thank you for requesting and ill be more active, i promise, so please request 🩵

• erwin is literally perfect when it comes to having a poker face, like lady gaga wrote the song cause she saw this man😭 you can never tell what he’s feeling but he can read you like a book, just by the way you spoke to him, or the way your eyes shine a different way.

• hes good at reading emotions but bad at comforting you (sorry but!!) and you could be like crying and hes just like

”there there…” 😟😕🙁 while rubbing your back and sighing deeply.

• he strikes me as one of those always on vacation to tropical ass countries guy. like with those hawaiian print shirts unbuttoned and swim pants on, he is so ready to sit on a beach chair while you do god knows what.

• never the type to get drunk and be flirty but he does get tipsy and tries to find you immediately because he wants to talk to you and maybe even dance a little

• take him to family events, THIS MAN GETS DOWNN!! all your aunties and family members can be on him and hes just like “why thank you, yes yes i know. oh wow is that for me?” 😁 and yes he can work them hips

• he doesn’t talk around people alot but with you its a straight yappathon with whatever the hell is on his mind and the topic changes within like two sentences😭

• he tans so easily its INSANE. like okay white boy my culture is not ur costume!!😣

• always always always remembers details about you, “why are you hanging out with her tonight i thought WE hated her?” and you gotta give him the new lore cause he not so secretively loves gossip. like okay boy what else you lurking around for😢

• omg he is so fucking funny when hes not trying to be😭 like shit goes down and he says something stupid and everyone’s laughing while hes sighing deeply wondering why they never laugh when he’s trying to be funny.

• sleeps like a rock, like a literal rock next to you, and he won’t ever budge. but if he hears any sudden movement or you hug him he jolts up and looks you dead in the eye like he just got shot😣 fucking dramatic ass LMAOA.

• if you have any kids best believe they’re very well mannered. OMG he goes hunting or fishing or whatever with them and he looks so fine like phewww…

• ladies… this man is not kinky please😭😭 vanilla sex or just no freakiness at all unless you initiate it.

• dates will always be dinner dates, and always so well though out and planned well. he either takes you shopping with all them carrrds or feeds you pasta and lobster. OR he takes you to run errands with him or go fishing/hunting/to a shooting range.

• in terms of pda, he always has a hand around your waist, but the most he can do is kiss you on the forehead to say goodbye or wrap a arm around your shoulder as you walk. and YES, he knows the sidewalk rule so you best be on the right damn side away from the cars.

• this man can bbq but not cook… he was literally trained to be a father/husband😭 you guys definitely have those backyard/patio bbqs.

• never ever wants you to overwork yourself, HELL YOU DONT EVEN NEEDD A JOB WHILE YOURE WITH HIM!! he just needs you to sit at home and look pretty for him when he comes back at night.

• definitely a business man in the modern day world, i would say a sergeant but maybe he retired from that position.

• he would want around three kids!! but whatever you want of course. he loves his kids endlessly and will literally kill for them. they have to learn how to protect themselves, they have to learn how to haggle with people, they have to learn to not be taken advantage of or treated as stupid, and they will pull the “do you know who my father is?” card when someone threatens them😭

• if you ever watched the notebook!! he would literally renovate a whole house for you or build you one and grow old together <33 he would build it however you want it, with a balcony, with a marble kitchen, etc, anything his love wants.

• and yes, he loves unconditionally even if he doesn’t show it so much through words, he will do it through his actions. he’ll get you anything you need even if you don’t ask, from a cup of water to a fucking car. HE WOULD EVEN BUILDDD A CAR FOR YOU??

• he loves you so so so much, and he literally cannot lose you😣 he would die for you, kill for you. he would bathe you in stars and swirl you onto the moon if you wanted, anything that’s possible? he’ll do for you.

HE LOVES YOU!!

— aaaa i hope you liked this!! 🩵

[kishibe-kisser]

Like the Romance Novels (Erwin Smith) TEASER

Tags: military Erwin Smith x afab reader, age gap (legal of course), forbidden love, arranged marriage, spying, cursing, teasing, hair brushing, fingering, soft sex, oral, kissing, tags might change upon release,

Breakfast lasted longer than anticipated, speaking for a few hours about everything and anything. He liked learning about your family and about the history of the vacation house. He liked learning about you and the reasons you went to college and the reasons you studied what you did. Erwin was finding that he was absolutely taken by you and the more he got to know you, the more he wanted to steal you away to be his.

He told you about himself too, the dangerous missions he had been placed on and the most beautiful places he had been. You liked hearing about his life, his experiences. While you never had the desire to do a job quite as dangerous as him and your father, you did always admire the experiences that came with it. The travelling and meeting people, it made you envious of it all. You liked hearing him speak, watching his eyes as they went through the emotions of talking about his life. You found yourself daydreaming about what it would be like in a more intimate setting, your arms wrapped around him, laying in bed as you comforted him after a long day. It was something no man had ever made you yearn for, no man before him.

“I’ve never quite seen this many books.” He commented, entering the small bookstore you had loved since you were a girl. “Ah, you haven’t seen my room then.” You smiled and continued further into the store. This day was no longer about him getting away from your family, this was about him getting to know you more, even though he knew he couldn’t have you. “If it’s anything as full as this I might not want to.” He joked and you smacked his arm lightly before taking notice of a book with a colorful binding.

“I’ve always loved stories like this.” You remarked, running your fingers over the spine as you read the title. Erwin had never heard of it, not quite having the time to read much with his job. He picked up the book, flipping through the pages and finding himself smiling. “This is a romance book.” He commented, reading through a particularly sweet passage. “Don’t get me wrong, Erwin. I like the intellectual read. However nothing is quite better than a sweet romance book.” You explained, watching him flip through the pages. Erwin looked like he had walked right out of a romance novel, one of your own imagination.

“Suppose I can understand why…” He started and you leaned back against a book shelf. Erwin turned to you, placing an arm on either side of you, the book still in one of his hands. His face was close proximity to yours as he read your expressions, your big eyes staring up at him. “I would be the romantic too if my family kept trying to sell me off to the first suitable man they saw.” His remark made your cheeks get warm. It was an embarrassing situation, one he had undoubtedly heard more about from your father. “Yes, but apparently my personality makes me unsuitable.” Erwin laughed at your words and dropped his arms for you both to continue browsing. “I must argue that I disagree. If anything you’re quite refreshing.” He admitted and you looked at him with a grateful expression.

“I would have asked to marry the evening we met if it seemed like I had a chance.” Erwin thought to himself, watching you browse the books. He found himself picturing the future, days like these with you, holding your hands and spoiling you with books. He could imagine you dressing up beautifully, attending galas with him as he showed you off to the entire room. He even could see your shared home in his mind, maybe even kids. God, he wanted it so bad, he wanted you so bad.

“Erwin, you disappeared today.” Your mother said as dinner was served. “Ah yes, I had some plans in town.” Erwin lied and you found yourself looking to the ground and smiling. It was fun that only you and him knew the truth. “Ah I see. It’s quite alright, I was busy making the starting arrangements for Y/N’s engagement.” Your father said and your eyes shot open in disbelief.

A/N: Let me know what you think and if you want to be tagged!

[youre-ackermine]

Sunburst: a sudden brief appearance of the full sun from behind clouds

Characters: Levi Ackerman / Hange Zoe / Petra Ral / Erwin Smith / Miche Zacharias / Nanaba / Zeke Jaeger / Nifa (mention) / Moblit Berner (mention) / Yelena (mention)

Pairing: Levihan (friendship) / Rivetra / Zekehan / Erumike (implied)

Wordcount: 2265 approx.

Modern AU / SFW / Levihan slow burn / High school friends / Established relationships / Non-binary AFAB Hange Zoe / Swearwords / POV Levi Ackerman

His mood probably couldn’t get gloomier now that he had finished all the tasks -most likely meant to distract him from his dejection now he thought about it- that Miche had assigned to him since morning.

He was sitting on the steps leading to the porch, a glass of iced-tea from the bowl he had freshly prepared in hand. On the surface his face showed all the usual signs of annoyance and boredom that seemed to be his signature expression but, if you could get a closer look, melancholy tinged his features quite unexpectedly as he scrolled on his phone.

Levi frowned, squinting his eyes in the sun and gluing them to the screen. His heart sank when he saw Petra’s latest post on Instagram, a picture of Nifa and herself, all smiles as they drank some fruity cocktail from a ridiculously huge coconut through colorful straws. A nasty surge of jealousy stung him when he noticed the lustful glances a bunch of guys sitting with them around a restaurant table cast her way.

“The fuck that means,” he mumbled under his breath. 

They were supposed to drink stupid cocktails from stupid coconuts together and they were supposed to bask in the sun on this stupid white sand beach together and they were supposed to soak in this stupid warm lagoon water together. But she had gone on vacation with Nifa instead, arguing she needed time. And space. To find herself, to recharge. To think about them.

Yeah, they were on a break. Yeah, she had decided this one-sidedly. Yeah, she had urged him to pack some of his stuff and stay at his best friend’s for a while. Yeah, he didn’t understand the fuck why she wanted this but he had obliged. Yeah, he would oblige again and again. And fucking yeah, he would do anything she asked if it meant he could win her back.

But dammit! Seeing her having a good time away from him, seeing her smiling as he was still stuck in anger and sadness after four weeks apart, imagining other men ogling her perfect curves, flirting with her, or even laying their dirty hands on her was tearing his heart apart.

A firm yet friendly pat on his shoulder snapped Levi off his stupor. He glanced sideways at Erwin as he sat down next to him.

“No point in hurting yourself over something you can’t control, Levi,” his best friend said, a hint of concern in his soft tone. A faint but incredibly fond smile appeared on Erwin’s face. “Get rid of your phone for now and go freshen up. You wouldn’t want Miche to scold you in front of the guests, would you?”

“As if I gave two shits about what that blond titan thinks!” Levi replied, rolling his eyes. He got up and pocketed his phone nonetheless, heading to his bedroom to change clothes.

He was pouring a refreshing drink for Nanaba, casually catching up with her, when a boisterous exclamation caught their attention. Everybody raised their heads and glasses, cheering the guest of honor as they waved frantically from the driveway where they were stepping out of their car.

“Oh my God! I can’t believe you all came! I’m so happy!” Hange shrieked, eyes sparkling with excitement and a huge smile on their face.

They laughed heartily as their step-brother picked them up in his arms and spun them around as if they weighed nothing.

“Happy birthday, Nerdling,” Miche whispered in their ear, his mustache tickling their skin when he pecked their cheek.

He loosened his embrace and let Hange go. Their gaze wandered around the garden to greet their guests, their radiant smile growing wider and reaching their eyes as they finally fell on their best friend.

“Happy birthday Hans!” she said, her arms wrapping around them. They held each other tight for a while until Hange peeked past Nanaba’s shoulder and recognised the short man standing next to the iced-tea bowl, his pouring gesture frozen in the air.

Hange’s eyes widened. “Holy Walls! Grumpy Pants, is that you?!”

“Tch… No shit, Four-Eyes,” he deadpanned, still gripping Nanaba’s glass by the rim.

“Still so handsome behind the scowl, right Shorty?” They chuckled and winked at him before turning to another guest.

For some reason his stomach churned.

A rhetorical question. Obviously.

The festive afternoon was drawing to a close. The birthday cake was nothing more than a few forgotten crumbs on a plate by now, the opened gifts had been thrown haphazardly on Hange’s car backseat, and the last guests had said their goodbyes a while ago.

Trash bags in hand, Miche, Erwin and Nanaba busied themselves around the garden and the terrace to throw paper plates and plastic cups away.

Levi had found the party more pleasant than expected. And definitely more pleasant than he would ever admit. 

After flitting from one friend to the next, Hange had finally pulled out a chair to sit across from him in his favourite corner of the garden, near a bush of fragrant roses that always reminded him of his mother’s perfume.

They hadn’t met since the graduation ceremony a few years ago. They had caught up on what they had both been doing since then, inadvertently -and frankly, as an afterthought, much to his relief- dodging the matters of the heart.

He knew from Miche that they had been studying abroad in a prestigious university in Hizuru and had recently come back to work in a renowned research company in Trost, dragging their all-time lab partner Moblit -the fuck was this name by the way?- along with them. They had asked him a lot of questions about his work as an architect and his accomplishments in his hobbies. MMA techniques seemed to fascinate them by the way.

Levi's mind had been at ease listening to Hange’s enthusiastic babbling for hours, taking in their lively face and their bright, beautiful brown eyes behind their stained glasses. He had forgotten his worries for a while, lulled into a blissful daze by their voice, his heart almost soothed by their cheerful presence.

As the sun slowly set behind a hill, the gate creaked open to reveal a tall blond man with a well-trimmed beard and a pair of golden round glasses. Levi looked up at the newcomer who gestured to him to remain silent while he smoothly joined them, careful not to crunch the gravel under his feet.

Sensing something was off when their eyes fell on Levi’s face, Hange stopped their rant about whatever toxic plant they were blabbering about.

“Shorty? Something’s wrong? You’re as white as Moblit’s asscheeks all of a sudden!” they asked in a worried tone.

Moblit's assch-, what? Taken aback, Levi didn’t have time enough to retort.

Hange squealed when the man slid his hands over their waist from behind, but tilted their head back to look at him and flashed a beaming smile. He kissed their lips, lingering a bit too much to Levi’s liking, forcing him to avert his gaze in a burst of decency.

“By the Walls Zeke, I missed you so much!” Hange asked between kisses. “I’ve been waiting for you all day! Where have you been?”

Levi felt more and more like a creep, staring at the couple.

“Yelena missed her train to her parents' town so I gave her a drive there. Thought you wouldn’t mind, Honey!”

“Oh, Yelena… Of course I don’t mind!” Their voice faltered uncharacteristically.

Levi’s chest tightened as he noticed the way Hange’s face fell with their half-assed reply. How could someone be oblivious or careless enough to let down someone as kind as Hange on their own birthday? How could someone be cruel enough and bear to swipe Hange’s bright smile off their face?

That monkey could, of course.

Hange’s smile quickly came back to enlighten their face though. They got up, fidgeting with the paper napkin they still held in their hands. They tittered and gestured between both men.

“Oh, I'm sorry! Let me introduce you, guys!” they blurted out. “Zeke Darling, this is Levi Ackerman, Erwin’s best friend. Shorty, this is my fiancé Zeke Jaeger.”

Levi got up, gritting his teeth as he extended his hand and shook Zeke’s in a tight grip.

“What are the odds! You’re both renowned architects now I think about it!” Hange exclaimed cheerfully.

“Oh but your friend and I have already met before Honey!” The blond man smirked. “I won the Trost Finance Center building project over him!”

Zeke let go of Levi’s hand.

“Nice to see you again Ackerman,” he added with a feigned joviality.

He snaked his arm around Hange’s waist to pull them closer.

“Let’s go Honey! It’s getting late and I’d like to make it up to you tonight,” he said in a disgusting husky voice, shamelessly kissing his fiancée’s skin under their ear until they blushed and gasped like a shy teenager. Levi clenched his fists.

Hange stuttered as they bid him goodbye, promising to meet again soon over a cup of coffee, and waved to their hosts and best friend before heading to their car. They giggled when Zeke slid his hand down the small of their back and over their ass, whispering something in their ear as they walked down the driveway.

Levi’s eyes followed the rear lights until the car turned left at the end of the street, leaving a hollow feeling in his guts.

A friendly arm wrapped around his shoulder and Nanaba dragged him towards the house.

“C’mon Munchkin, let’s grab a beer and order a pizza!”

She pecked him on the cheek.

“So fucking gross Nana, I can’t stand wet kisses,” he grumbled.

“Of course you can’t sweetie.”

But he couldn’t help but smile when she pulled him closer to kiss him again and burst out laughing when he swiftly wiped his cheek.

Levi relished in the cool sensation of the breeze over his skin and the comforting warmth of his tea. The chirping of crickets nearby was lulling him into a peaceful slumber. He felt his stiff shoulders, his clenched jaw, his tense nape finally relax.

“So, Hange…” Erwin started once Nanaba had left and Miche had gone to bed.

“The fuck are you talking ‘bout Four-Eyes?” he replied, all the tension washing back over him.

Erwin raised his hands in a gesture of appeasement. “You seemed to get along well today, is all.”

Here we go, you blond bastard.

Erwin’s speech was only getting started and pain already throbbed in his head. Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“Yeah, ‘twas nice to catch up after all those years. They’re not so bad to talk to.” He paused.  “Distracted me from this shitty life of mine for a bit.”

“I could tell.” Erwin took a sip of coffee and placed the cup back on the saucer. “You didn’t seem to enjoy Zeke’s company though.”

“That monkey? Hell no! You know how dirty he played with the Finance Tower project and fucked me over! How could I ever want to see this shithead again, you dumbass?”

Erwin knew better than to reply yet.

“How this brainiac is engaged to such a jerk is beyond me! Like, it’s their birthday and he shows up when the party's over, with all his lovey-dovey shit to cover up how he spent the afternoon with someone else instead… Disrespectful at the very least ‘f you ask me!”

Erwin smirked at his friend’s rant.

“What’s with the smirk, moron?”

“Nothing really.” Erwin’s gaze softened. “I don’t remember hearing you say so many words in one go. Ever. I wonder what got into you.” He chuckled.

Levi clicked his tongue. “Nothing special. We were having a nice little talk with Four-Eyes and I started to forget the crap piling up in my life at the moment and that fucking monkey ruined it all.”

Silence settled for a few minutes between both men.

“Seemed to do you good talking with someone else. You’re gonna hang with them again? I mean Hange.” Erwin asked after a while.

“Er yeah I guess… They mentioned a cup of coffee or shit some day soon.”

“Good! We’re your friends and we’re all worried about you, Levi. But, as you won't talk to us then talk with Hange. Anything that makes you feel better.”

Levi facepalmed to soothe the increasing pounding in his head and sighed.

“Could you mind your own fucking business for once, Blondie?” he hissed, rubbing his temples in a circle. “You’re giving me a headache.”

Erwin stood up, put a hand on Levi’s shoulder and squeezed it.

“Well, I’ll leave you alone then.”

He scooped his coffee cup off the table and took a few steps towards the door before turning around.

“Try to sleep tonight. You need to get some rest.”

Levi remained silent.

Erwin’s steps echoed in the evening darkness and he stopped briefly when gripping the handle.

“Good night Levi. See you tomorrow.”

As the door softly clicked shut, Levi let out a sharp breath he was holding for some time.

Yeah. Another day full of crap. The sparkle Hange had briefly brought in his otherwise dull life today was at least something he supposed.

“Shit! Life sucks, huh Four-Eyes?” he muttered to himself. His day couldn’t get any shittier than it already was, right?

Something vibrated in his back pocket. He fished his phone and answered without even thinking.

“Levi?” Petra’s voice. His body stiffened.

“Uhm yeah…” He ran his fingers through his hair to try and shut down his nervousness.

“We need to talk.”

Requested by anon // Prompt #30 "Where have you been?" from this drabble challenge

Proofreading @dont-f-with-moogles Thank you so much for your help Terra Darling 🩶

Header & dividers @youre-ackermine

A/N: Crossposted on AO3 as chapter 2 of my series It's not like I've got something grand to say to you // This takes place one year before Dumbstruck // English is not my usual language

[nickineuw]

Hey everyone!! Work has kept me extremely busy lately, plus I had major surgery in the beginning of May so I haven’t had time for much. But….I decided to finally started writing a multi-chapter Rivamika fanfic. I’ve had this idea in my head for a while, and I think I’m finally somewhat happy with Chapter 1. I need to join AO3 so I can share it there, but for now here it is. I might modify it slightly before I share on AO3.

Brief summary….first of all, it’s an AU. the idea is that Levi, a successful and wealthy New York lawyer, and Mikasa, an up and coming fashion photographer also from NY, end up staying *very* close to each other while vacationing in a small town in Maryland.

Also, keep in mind I am a scientist. I enjoy writing and reading, but I am not a skilled creative writer like some fanfic authors are. I try!

Title: A Week in Oxford

Chapter 1: Much Needed Break

Levi - Lower Manhattan, New York

Exhausted but finally feeling at ease, Levi began to pack his documents from the trial into his sleek, black leather briefcase. After a long and extensive jury trial, his client, Dimo Reeves, was found not guilty for the crimes of securities fraud and embezzlement, but was found guilty of the misdemeanor of obstruction of justice. The client was more than pleased with the outcome, since the obstruction of justice charge was fairly minor and resulted in simply year one of supervised probation. The evidence against his client for the other two charges was overwhelming, but Mr. Reeves, a prominent Wall Street trader, hired Levi as his lawyer due to Levi’s impressive track record and tenacity for casting doubt on minute aspects of the crime and evidence. The prosecutors were pushing for 10-15 years of incarceration if he were to be found guilty by the jury. But, Levi had won, yet again. He was able to discover small details in the evidence and slight loopholes in the wording of the law to cast just enough doubt in the juror’s minds, and so they found Mr. Reeve’s not guilty. This is where Levi excelled. Over the last decade, he had proven himself to be a highly sought after attorney throughout New York. He had a mind that could easily find these small inconsistencies in both the evidence and the laws, and his skills in arguing and persuasion were second to no one. For all he lacked in stature, he made up for in his tenacity and cutthroat methods in the courtroom, willing to push the comfort level of the judge but knowing when to stop. To put it simply, in the courtroom Levi Ackerman was an imposing threat to the prosecutors that worked against him. This track record skyrocketed Levi as one of the partners of a now top legal group in New York, Smith and Ackerman. His partner and long time best friend, Erwin, glanced at Levi with a wicked smile on his face.

“What? I know that look. It’s usually never good.”

“Am I not allowed to smile? I am well aware of your amazing career history, but even I am impressed with how you managed this case, Levi. Two years and too many sleepless nights for you, my friend. This decision today was solely based on your impressive mind and work ethic. Choosing you as my partner four years ago is a gamble that has paid off well.”

“Tsk, what gamble? You act as if you haven’t been my closest friend for the last 12 years.”

“Even if you were my enemy, I would have chosen you. No one else can command a courtroom the way you can, Levi,” Erwin replied with a smirk. “Now that this case is finally over, I do believe you owe me a promise.”

Levi rolled his eyes, knowing that Erwin would not be one to easily let this go.

“Erwin, I’m fine. I don’t need to go on a shitty break to a shitty small town. Work keeps my mind occupied and you know how much I hate leaving the city.”

“Levi, you can’t continue to live like this. Trust me, your work ethic is above and beyond anything I could have imagined. But, you haven’t taken a day off of work in four years… and that was only because you had to attend your uncle's funeral. I’m convinced if I don’t force this, you would work everyday until you die a crippled, elderly man in a sterile apartment with nothing but career accomplishments to your name. You need a break. You need to interact with people, make friends and connections other than myself or Hange. It’s healthy to take a break and meet people. And you and I both know how much a change of atmosphere might help with your ongoing sleep problems -“

“What sleep problems? I sleep like a baby.”

Rolling his eyes, Erwin knew better. “ Hange says she has to know by this evening. Apparently someone has expressed an interest in renting the cottage during the same week as you.”

“Fine. I’ll think about it while I drive home and give Hange a call either way.”

Knowing that was as good as he was going to get from his cranky, small friend….Erwin nodded.

“Thank you.. Now, I need to get home and take a shower. This courtroom is stifling and I’m fairly certain it hasn’t been dusted properly in over a week.”

Erwin simply chuckled at his friend's quirks, knowing virtually all there was to know about the man who could intimidate an entire courtroom with just his glare, but who was equally as petrified of dust and dirt.

“Levi, as much as I would love to return home myself, there is a rather large crowd of members of the press waiting to speak to us. But, I know your distaste for them, so I will take the lead. The only thing I ask of you is to please behave and mind your temper.”

With another roll of his eyes, Levi began to walk toward the exit of the courtroom. He knew they meant well, but Erwin and Hange could be, well, imposing. They constantly nagged Levi about his workaholic tendencies and urged him to “get out there and meet people.” They asked about Levi’s sleep habits, knowing he suffered from insomnia, although Levi himself has never disclosed to his two closest friends the exact reasons why. The three of them met while attending Cornell University, although Levi was a freshman during the time Erwin and Hange were already juniors despite being the same age. Regardless, sharing an off-campus apartment together brought them close, and the three of them have remained friends since. While Erwin and Levi both attended law school and passed the New York State Bar exam, Hange received her phD in microbiology and works at New York-Presbyterian Hospital as a microbiologist.

Levi felt somewhat refreshed by the cool October air that encompassed him as he stepped outside of the courtroom, with Erwin and Mr. Reeves’s not far behind him. However, it didn’t take long for the hordes of journalists and cameras to force their way into his personal space, immediately agitating Levi and putting him on edge. He didn’t even do well with people he liked invading his space, let alone complete strangers. .

“Mr. Ackerman, how does it feel to be one of the top bachelor’s in New York City?”

“Mr. Ackerman, can you give us a statement on the jury’s decision today? What are your feelings right now?”

While Levi hated the press and attention, he knew this was part of his job. However, Erwin was much more cordial and well spoken, which made him better equipped to handle the PR aspects of their position, so Levi usually left this part to him. Levi’s temper flared though, when one particularly sleezy duo of journalist and cameraman would not relent, and asked Levi a question that went too far.

“Mr. Ackerman, do you feel guilty for willingly representing someone who scammed his clients out of millions? Especially given your own personal history of criminal acts?”

As soon as Erwin heard the question, he tensed. Before he could even react further, Levi had grabbed the camera from the man and slammed it toward the ground, smashing it into pieces. The crowd silenced, and Levi immediately felt every eye on him.

Without missing a beat, and with a broad smile reaching across his photogenic face, Erwin began, “Well then, with that I am glad to take any questions you have for my partner and I regarding the court’s decision in our case today.”

As Levi started to walk away, head down, he thought to himself perhaps he did need a break.

Mikasa - Murray Hill, New York

Mikasa was browsing through the results of her photo shoot today in Murray Hill. Graduating from Columbia University four years ago with a degree in photography, she quickly made a name for herself as a sought after fashion photographer in the city. Not only is it impressive that she was accepted into Columbia, with only a 4% acceptance rate, she was also offered a full scholarship. Of course, being named as the Valedictorian of her graduating high school class helped quite a bit. Mikasa had always been naturally smart, but when paired with her outstanding work ethic and participation in a variety of extracurriculars, she was a perfect candidate for selection for the highly prestigious scholarship Columbia offered her.

After chatting with her client for a bit letting them know when they would be receiving an email of edited proofs, Mikasa packed up her laptop and made the short walk from the studio to the parking garage. Unlike most New Yorkers, Mikasa insisted on bringing her car when she moved into her one-bedroom apartment in the neighborhood of Hell's Kitchen, New York. There was just too much to explore; too much to see. She usually spent weekends taking long drives outside of the city in search of any and everything she could photograph. Sure, she paid a pretty penny for the parking spot in her neighborhood, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Besides, her monthly rent of $2,500 was actually quite a steal for the modern, light-filled apartment that she always kept clean and organized. It had all of the necessities….a nice sized bedroom with surprisingly large closet space, a small but full kitchen, even a washer and dryer combo. The money she was making as a fashion photographer certainly didn’t make her rich, but she was more comfortable than she anticipated being at only 25. Plus, she was happy…at least as far as her career was concerned.

It was the middle of October, and the cool breeze and vibrant shades of leaves on the small trees dotting the sidewalks indicated fall had finally arrived. Mikasa loved this time of year, and it reminded her of growing up with the Yeager family in a suburb about an hour outside of the city. Although she suffered from an unimaginable loss as a young child, her years with the Yeager family were filled with love and support. Her second set of parents enrolled her in photography classes, supported her when she felt overwhelmed from her studies and duties as class president, and never missed a single one of her high school soccer games.

Her adoptive brother, Eren, was like a real brother to her in many ways, and she always found herself watching out for him due to his reckless ways. They were the same age, same year in school, and even went to college close to each other. Eren majored in software development and was now working in Philadelphia as a video game designer. He was never as studious as Mikasa was in high school, but he seemed to blossom in his college classes and seemed very happy with his career choice. Their close childhood friend Armin, who graduated as salutatorian right behind Mikasa, also attended Columbia and received his MBA. He also worked in Philadelphia and he and Eren were currently sharing a two bedroom apartment together as roommates.

The relationship between Mikasa and Eren wasn’t always healthy though, and she fears that her co-dependency on him has made it difficult for her to form bonds and friendships with others. One of the reasons Eren repeatedly pushed her away is her tendency to mother those she holds close. Even Armin had mentioned it from time to time. She was well aware of this, but why should she change who she is to please others? So what if she cared too much for people she felt close to? It was a part of who she was, and she didn’t see any need to change that fact.

Aside from Eren, Armin, and her college best friend Sasha, Mikasa didn’t really have anyone else she would consider as more than an acquaintance. Sasha often urged her to meet people and do things other than solitary drives to take photographs. At first, Mikasa dismissed those thoughts. Lately though, she has found herself feeling somewhat lonely, and aching for a connection and companionship. Part of her decision to work in New York and not follow Eren and Armin to Philadelphia was so she could give herself physical distance from the unhealthy relationship that developed between her and Eren over the years. Mikasa knew it was better for her to move on, to find someone who would dedicate their entire self to her and not just lure her in when it was convenient for them. Mikasa truly did want a companion and love, but with such a busy schedule and a small handful of friends, she had no idea how to go about meeting anyone. Plus, she craved for someone who accepted her, flaws and all.

About halfway through her drive home, her phone rang. She pressed the button on her vehicle’s control center to answer via Bluetooth.

“Hey Mikasa! Just wanted to call to check in, see how things went with your big photoshoot this week.”

“Oh hey Sasha! It went really well, the photos turned out amazing… I think the clients are going to be very happy with the finished product.”

“Mika that’s so great! I’m so proud of you! Wanna head out tonight to celebrate? There’s this new restaurant I’ve been dying to try, plus I hear the drinks are amazing too!”

“Actually, I decided I need to get away for a bit. I know it’s last minute, but I think I’m gonna book that AirBnB I was checking out in Maryland the other day.”’

“Seriously Mika? Wow that’s so awesome….damn I wish I could take off a few days and go with! You have to let me know how all of the yummy seafood is down there!!!”

Rolling her eyes, yet smiling, because Mikasa knew how food obsessed her best friend was, she replied, “You know I will Sasha…I always take pics for you too.”

“Yay! Mikasa I’m so happy for you. And who knows? Maybe you’ll meet someone while you’re there,” Sasha said with a wink.

“Sasha….the town has a population of 600 people. I highly doubt there would be someone there I could meet.”

“You never know Mikasa! Okay be safe, love ya!”

With a smile, Mikasa replied “You know it. Love you too.”

The cottage was located in a town called Oxford, which had a population of only 600 people. Being a photographer, she was immediately impressed by the contrast of the red park bench which sat just in front of the grey cottage with its dark green shutters. Near the winding brick sidewalk, tulips bloomed in reds, yellows, and whites. She longed to take more photographs of it, and could only imagine how beautiful the entire town must be as well. The cottage had an open floor plan with only one bed and one couch, but this was more than adequate for her needs. Last week, Mikasa had sent a brief email to the host, someone by the name of Hange, and Mikasa was pleased to see that the cottage was available during the week she had in mind. However, due to work demands, Mikasa never had a chance to follow up on the email.

Upon entering her apartment, she decided to open her laptop and view the cottage again, as well as do some research on the surrounding area. She was excited to see that the small town of Oxford and surrounding area provided numerous opportunities for her photography hobby. Sitting along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay, the area offered opportunities for her to photograph not only the nature of the area, but also take photos of the hard working local people, known as waterman, who made their living fishing and crabbing on the Chesapeake Bay. There were gorgeous Civil-War era estates to explore, state parks to hike, rivers to kayak, and top-rated seafood restaurants to indulge in. Nearby towns like Easton and St. Michael’s offered boutiques, coffee shops, and local artisan crafts.

Upon checking the website calendar, Mikasa saw that the week she wanted, which started the next day, was still available. Without thinking it over too much, Mikasa clicked on the tab to book her one week stay at the small cottage. Within minutes of making her payment, she received an automatic email from the host. She quickly opened her email app and read that the key would be left under the doormat, and it also provided the exact address. Under the doormat? Didn’t these rentals usually have lockboxes with access codes? Then again, she was going to a very rural place. Maybe things there were just done differently than they were in the city? She pulled her suitcase from her closet and began to pack, excited for her last minute decision to make something happen in her life. The next morning, she would make the drive from New York to the town of Oxford, Maryland.

While Mikasa was excited for the chance to relax and explore a new area, she knew better than to get her hopes up about meeting new people. The town she was traveling to had such a small population, and even the surrounding area was mostly rural. However, the possibility still existed, right? Surely there was someone for her out there, somewhere. Someone who accepted her for who she was….someone who wanted all of her. Maybe she would meet someone special on this trip?

Levi - That evening, Tribeca

Levi pulled his sleek, black Audi into the parking garage under his apartment building. He knew he had royally messed up today, and he knew a lecture from Erwin was forthcoming. But, for now; all he desired was some calming music, a soothing cup of tea, and the view and ambience of his 20th floor apartment. He entered the elevator, hit the floor for 20, and exhaled loudly as he leaned back against the elevator wall. The elevator door opened, and he made the short walk to his door. He immediately felt a sense of calm wash over him when he entered his home. The sleek, grey and black modern furniture he selected contrasted beautifully with the exposed brick walls left after renovations. His kitchen had top of the line, chef grade appliances he loved using while creating new culinary dishes. He had a vast collection of various, rare tea leaves stored in metal tins in a cabinet which took up nearly an entire wall. Windows reaching from floor to ceiling provided a gorgeous view of the city skyline from the 20th floor. Levi wasn’t always fortunate enough to live this way, and while he did appreciate the finer things that his new life could afford, he never forgot his roots and where he came from. Perhaps that’s why he holds himself to such high standards in every aspect of his life now. He knows what it feels like to have nothing, and the fear of people seeing beyond the mask he has created for himself was always lurking. Even that sleezy journalist from earlier today took a low jab at Levi’s past, reminding him that he could never truly escape from who he once was.

While the material things were nice, Levi knew they didn’t make him truly happy. Sure, he had a successful career. He had two close friends. He was well known throughout the city as a tenacious lawyer. He had a gorgeous apartment, a shiny new car, and money to spare. But he wasn’t happy. Not the kind of happy he longed for….a romantic companion. Maybe even love. But, he knew he had a pretty shitty personality, and it was nearly impossible for him to open up to new people. He had no clue how he could find something as elusive as love when he could barely tolerate most people. Still, deep down, Levi craved the feeling of someone who he could call his. Someone who supported him, wasn’t after his money, and who loved him for him. Erwin and Hange were good to Levi, he knew that. He appreciated their friendship. But Levi had never truly experienced love before, in any capacity. Not any he could remember at least. Maybe that’s why he craved for it so badly? Levi didn’t even know where to start though. Hell, he had never even been in a real relationship. His experiences with women were limited to one-night stands and flings, and even those ended years ago as his career began to take up more and more of his time. He knew he had impossibly high standards, and he always seemed to find something wrong with women who were interested in him. Erwin and Hange encouraged him to try to have a more open mind, but when it came to something as important as a relationship, Levi didn’t want to settle. But, Levi was nearly 37 years old. It was high time he took steps to make this happen. Someone was out there, someone made just for him. Someone who wasn’t perfect, but who was perfect for him. Someone like that had to exist? Right?

For now, Levi thought he would start with baby steps. Getting away for a week seemed like a good place to start. His friend, Hange, inherited a cottage in a small town on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. She had been begging him incessantly to take her up on the offer to stay there for a week, knowing how badly her friend needed time to relax and decompress from his career. He didn’t even know much about the area, only that it was about a 5 hour drive away and was quite rural. As he pondered, Levi thought this was a healthy first step toward exiting his comfort zone, which was basically staying exclusively in the city, and addicting himself with work. Without thinking about it too much, Levi grabbed his cell and hit the contact button for Hange. She answered nearly immediately.

“Levi! To what do I owe the pleasure? Also, I saw that slight mishap on the news earlier….don’t worry, I think he totally deserved it!”

Grumbling, Levi decided that maybe calling Hange was a bad idea after all. The last thing he needed right now was to be reminded of his poor decision making skills earlier in the day. Hange never was one who fully understood boundaries, though. He decided to look past it for now.

“While I appreciate the sentiment, I’m actually calling to see if your offer to stay in the cottage is still good for the week..”

“What? Is this my friend Levi? Levi Ackerman? Willingly asking about taking a week off of work? Are you being held at gunpoint? Is there someone coercing you right now?”

“I’m serious, four-eyes. After today, I decided maybe I really do need this break. I know it’s last minute, but can I stay there or what?”

Without even checking her app, Hange excitedly exclaimed “Of course you can! Well, I did have someone ask about it last week for the same time slot, but I never heard back from her so it’s definitely available. And you know you don’t need to book through the website….this is on me!”

“Hange, I’m only taking you up on this if you accept payment. We’ve been over this before. And for the love of God, I’m only staying there if someone other than you has been cleaning it. Oh…and make sure you mark it as booked on the Airbnb site….last thing I need is some random showing up because you forgot to update the calendar.”

“Of course I’ll update it, I. I’m not an idiot. Yes, my friend Nanaba lives in the area and she cleans and maintains it for me. Well, the key for the cottage is under the doormat. I’ll send you the address. Bye!”

Under the doormat? Didn’t most people have lockboxes with access codes for these rentals? Levi thought his strange friend was a little too trusting at times, but he dismissed it. All he knew is he would be leaving the next morning, to make the drive from New York to the small town of Oxford, Maryland. Levi pulled his suitcases from his closet and started the process of meticulously packing his things.

Little did Levi know that his friend Hange went to sleep peacefully that night, never once updating the Airbnb calendar, never checking her email or app, and not noticing whatsoever how royally she herself had fucked up.

[stilemawillow]

MTIJ | Ch.30 City of Dumbassery, Here I Come

|mtij masterlist|

pairing: levi ackerman x reader

word count: 13k

summary: a girl with a variety of hidden complexes has to live with a french asshole for nine months. easy? on the surface. problematic? definitely. romantic? not too much, or at least they’d make it a point to say so everytime when asked. the end? please, their dynamic isn’t as simple as that.

warnings: nsfw content; mentions of nudity; virginity loss; oral sex (f! receiving); protected sex; explicit sexual content; reader discretion advised

A hundred-dollar question: where do people go to blow off steam when their interns weren’t back back from their vacation yet? First and foremost, never City of Dumbassery as it’s not a place for relaxation. I might’ve been its main population these days, but I fancied myself a rational person capable of making the right choices when needed. Pretend you’re not looking at my romantic history. The right choice, however, wasn’t always right in the heat of the moment, only in perspective, so we begin this scene with me, seated on Erwin Smith’s couch with Hanji Zoe and a cup of coffee.

For more information on the right-est choice I made as of late, keep watching. Or as asshole-me insists on promoting: Come see the prequel to the biggest fuck-up of this girl’s life. I, though oblivious to its imminent eventuation at the point where we start, had a vague notion of what I wanted the next few days to look like. Let’s just say, humourlessly enough, that my wildest dreams came nowhere close to the reality that would take place.

“I’m sorry about last time, (Y/N). I didn’t know about you and Eren.” Hanji’s contrite apology made my smile widen as I lifted the cup of coffee to my lips. Dismissing the fact she brought the topic right back with the intention to make amends, Hanji was a good person and clearly sincere in her ways of regarding me. Kindness was one thing, but this woman’s pure cordiality was admirable.

“It’s not a problem. I could tell it wasn’t your intention to hurt me.” The corner of my mouth twitched in self-reproach at the manipulative bullshit I let slip. Instantly, I corrected: “Not that I was hurt.” If it’d been Annie, she wouldn’t straight-up laughed. Had it been Levi, he would’ve stared at me like I was dumb for thinking him dumb enough to buy it. But this was Hanji and she just smiled reassuringly.

“You can share if you want to. That’s what I’m here for with all my friends,” she offered. It sounded tempting but I couldn’t allow myself that kind of openness yet. Annie was, as always, the only person who knew the full story in all its repulsive glory but if I wanted to preserve (Levi’s privacy) my reputation, I couldn’t tell the whole thing here. The whole thing – look at me dodging the serious parts in an attempt to make myself feel better. I couldn’t tell Hanji about my intoxicated attempt to sleep with her friend, who gave dubious if any consent. Sounded appropriately disgusting like this.

“Mike and Erwin seem like they lead pretty decent lives, though.” Redirecting the topic, ignoring everything weird, dismissing all as a dirty scheme meant to humiliate me – a methodical step-by-step guide on how to be a paranoid bitch. It would’ve been my equivalent of the Bible if I weren’t an atheist. Even if I regularly used OMG, if I had to pick a fictional character to believe was real, at least I’d pick one from a book with a legit author – something by King, Thackeray, Hemingway, Tolkien, Orwell or Hawthorne. Following that train of thought, I might as well start worshipping Mickey Mouse – it’d do me more good than the big guy with the beard who loves me but would make me suffer for all eternity for stepping out of line once. I did it a lot.

“It wasn’t always like that. Not to mention Levi was stuck in the gutter a month back.” Hanji’s words snapped me out of my daze. “I know I told you to wait for him, but I don’t trust him, so make sure you keep this conversation a secret,” she warned while leaning forward as if afraid the walls would hear. The suspense, though exaggerated and a bit comical, made me put down my coffee. “So, you know how Petra is mentioned here and there?” I nodded. “She was Levi’s fiancé. She died in a car crash last October.” I knew I should’ve reacted appropriately but I couldn’t force it quickly enough. Hanji noticed. “You don’t look shocked.”

“No, but I am surprised. A lot of things make sense now. I’m sorry for your loss.” I hastened to make a recovery to lessen the doubt along the planes of her face. A pang tugged on my heart. When I considered the alternate reality where Petra hadn’t died, the notion of Levi not arriving for his internship was incomprehensible. He’d be studying hard at home and married. No rings, no chaos, no cheating for me – yes, good, but no company around the house either, no distraction and no comfort.

“You haven’t done anything to apologise for it,” Hanji said. “Anyways. Shorty was in a really bad place the months after. Working himself to the bone, no sleep, no food, no nothing. He just had to be doing something. The one good thing that came out of it was his weekly visits to his mother.” A small pause, a moment of consideration for her and an odd feeling of fascination for me. I was soaking it up like a sponge because I was seeing, at last, his angle. “Maybe it hit him that if death came for Petra, it could come for Kuchel, too. I can’t know for sure. All I know is he exhausted himself to the point he collapsed. Unconscious for three whole days. Isabel told him he’d gotten the internship when he woke up.”

“So he used it as an escape,” I finished. It was a logical conclusion. Hanji nodded. Avoiding pain wasn’t the way but he’d been desperate to get away and the internship had been the perfect opportunity. He’d grabbed his bags, boarded the plane and then… well, had to deal with me. Not a warm welcome by any means. He hadn’t even had the energy to get angry or look like he felt anything. I hadn’t known, hadn’t cared enough to see. It made me uncomfortable to realise it.

“Flew over a whole ocean and kept working,” Hanji proceeded. “He wanted something to distract himself with. When he ran out of work because he did overtime, he started calling home more often. Vague details were all he gave, but I got the feeling he had something else to work on.” Hanji’s words made a lopsided smile kiss my lips. He’d wanted to busy himself with my well-being, but I’d taken it the wrong way, as I often did. Nowadays the matter was often used against him but never by him – wasn’t that funny?

“Becoming the spoiled brat’s babysitter,” I filled in kindly, but Hanji’s disapproving frown meant to reproach along with the eloquent gesture of her crossing her arms. I didn’t regret the way I worded it. Eren, Annie, Mikasa and my mother had often tried to make me rethink my ways, but results were yet to manifest. This story, with me as the shitty protagonist most likely to be insufferable contrary to sympathy-inducing, portrayed reality as I saw it – and reality often neglected character development.

“He never called you either, but he did mention taking care of you had the same effect as working, if not better. I felt he might find himself a friend, so I supported him. I think I made the right choice. You have a lot in common,” Hanji declared. It struck a cord – did we really? Our arguments were fire lashing out at ice – not something that happened with people got along. Levi was hard to anger whereas I had a short fuse – everything was a personal insult. No easier target than a conceited paranoid.

“On the topic of that,” I piped. “How do you forget somebody?” The question was light-hearted. I decided to dismiss the whole story so I could ponder it later. Hanji’s brows furrowed as she smiled sympathetically. She couldn’t imagine the situation well enough. The question was I over Eren? had kept at a safe distance from my mind during my birthday vacation and the beginning of August only to assault it now with pitiless ire.

Things kept coming back when I least needed them. Thoughts of the twinkle in his teal eyes or the crooked smile he always wore before a kiss, the sound of his voice – the softness he’d told me he loved me with the first time, the haunting quiver in it when we were breaking up. I woke up at night with the howl of planes taking off and landing. On some mornings, I woke up, hoping to hear a knock at the door and see his face. Would he be more tan? Would his eyes be the same? Would his hair be styled differently? Would he have grown taller?

But, (Y/N), a voice would say in my head, people don’t grow taller just like that, it’s physically impossible.

Eren can, I’d argue, because Eren is my boyfriend and he can do anything if he puts his mind to it.

But Eren wasn’t my boyfriend and he wasn’t a miracle-maker. I’d sit in bed and argue with myself that Eren would come back, that I wanted the best for him and that wasn’t me, that we were done, but that he’d still come back. He never did. A small desperate part of me still hoped for the door to open – any door. Erwin Smith’s apartment’s front door right now, even. I could almost hear his footsteps going up the stairs. I swore I could. I turned to Hanji, a naïve question – can’t you? – flickering in my orbs. She didn’t catch it.

“I’m not an expert,” she said instead. “But Levi can be of help. His coping mechanisms aren’t the best example to follow, but he has a good head on his shoulders. He just doesn’t listen to it.” She might’ve thought, with how desperate I looked, that I might cry. She didn’t know pride would rather have me rip out of my tear ducts before that happened. I didn’t cry often or in many people’s presence. That wasn’t to say I didn’t like Hanji. But Annie and, unfortunately, Levi were the exceptions here. The latter was a mystery, probably my attempt to play a damsel in distress to ask for attention. Attention and help and fucking, might as well – a kiss. Couldn’t he just kiss me sometimes without me having to be in the middle of a mood?

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t copy those coping mechanisms even if I wanted to. Work, sex and alcohol are never a good mix.” I let out an awkward string of laughter, weirded out by my abrupt disconnection from the conversation and how it turned my thoughts against me. I didn’t miss him that much. Also, he was coming home tomorrow. I had nothing to play the desperate whore for. There was the blondie. That wasn’t jealousy, though. I’d say it was my wish to prove myself better.

“Sex?” Hanji echoed with a conflicted expression.

“Sex with my father’s secretary. I think it was around May. He stormed out after calling her and came back drunk in the middle of the night,” I explained. The brown-haired woman took a second to process the story, then burst out in incredulous laughter. My brows twitched. “What’s so funny?” Was it something else or was I just weird for not thinking my father’s intern and secretary fucking the joke of the century?

“I remember him telling me about that,” she started, voice hinting at a new bout of cackling. “He went to her place for paperwork and she had her boyfriend over. They kept offering him drinks and he agreed to shut them up. Crossed the line at some point. He even got lost on his way back to the house.” I wanted to face-palm using the table and, hopefully, get myself into a coma. Was there a person on this Earth denser than me or was I a phenomenal idiot?

“Oh, God,” I muttered in a wheeze. “I’m so stupid.” Embarrassment and shame painted the tips of my ears bright crimson as I clenched my fists. Hanji patted my shoulder.

“You’re not stupid. I would’ve thought the same if I had no context. Levi would never just have a one-night stand, though. Not the type of person for it. He claims it’s the wrongest way to get over something.” Her brown eyes, previously fixed on me, were now directed at the coffee table. “Might work for you, but he most certainly hates it.” A snort was drawn from her lips as she withdrew her hand from my shoulder. I tried not to think about it, but it was inevitable. Hitch’s party, him refusing, refusing, refusing, because it would be “just like that” and “just like that” was a solution for neither of us.

“I’ll consider it,” I joked. “I was busy up until recently, but maybe university won’t be enough to distract me.” I smiled as Hanji chuckled, patting my back.

“Another boyfriend should do the trick in that case,” she said.

But I don’t want another boyfriend, I wanted to counter. I want your grumpy short friend. The thought froze me up. Asshole-me joined Hanji’s hearty chuckle. Bold of me to think it. Terrible of me to think it. Wrong of me to think it. It was complicated. If romance was not involved here, it was undeniable at this point. I could almost feel it written in capital letters on my forehead.

ATTRACTED TO LEVI ACKERMAN. VERY.

“I’m not ready for the commitment.” Was the only comment to exit my mouth due to the sudden discomfort nestling in the crevice of my ribcage. “I think,” I added awkwardly, reluctant regarding a relationship but very opinionated on the topic of engaging my father’s intern in something inappropriate that would make our relations twice as complicated as they were.

“A friend with benefits then?” Hanji’s mind-reading abilities amazed. I realised it suddenly – that it was natural, this attraction of mine, no matter how humiliating and inconvenient. It wasn’t weird and maybe it wasn’t all that wrong. It was a guy who was three years older than me who lived with me that I considered unreachable. The forbidden fruit, so to say. He was handsome, mysterious and had abs. Natural to be attracted to that. Natural to be attracted to it when I saw it every day and it saw me every day and most times it treated me with passive kindness. So there’d be no harm, I assumed, in initiating something a smidge bigger. What was stopping me? I didn’t have a boyfriend, I wouldn’t feel guilty and I wasn’t insecure because, hey, he’d kissed me last time. Obviously, I wasn’t nasty.

“Update from a virgin to a slut then?” I smirked, a decision born. Hanji’s mouth clamped shut shamefully and I laughed. “I’m kidding, calm down. It was just a joke.” I patted her back. The ring on my finger was cool to the couch and soothing. My resolve, for once, was there. I had a goal. A simple one at that – nothing dangerous. Two words: kiss Levi. I would do it because there was nothing to stop me. I mean, what was the worst that could happen?

…

Imagine an elegant expensive kitchen armed with all kinds of top-quality appliances. Paradise for all little housewives who greet their husbands with a warm meal. I wasn’t that type and the fact I spent four hours cooking more food than a family of six could eat didn’t make me one either. Judging was futile because I took care of that myself during the whole process. Currently, the fruit of my effort sat in front of me – a full three-course meal with different forks to go with the high-class atmosphere. I was far from a successor of Gordon Ramsay, but I outdid myself this time. Why? Last-minute anxiety maybe. Or fear. I needed a distraction because the thought of Eren wouldn’t stop pestering me. Added to that was the fact my father could walk in without Levi. Asshole-me didn’t help.

Bet on the outcome now! A once-in-a-lifetime offer that provides an endless amount of entertainment for the whole family! Fifty bucks says a discount version of William will use the vanishing potion and fly back to France! The other side of the bet? Sorry, I don’t know her. With such a commentator, it was early to skip the food and go straight to consuming my fingernails. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Place your bets right now, your bets need to go in the ballot box, quickly fill out the slips and put them in! Will he go or yes? And what’s the sweat for, princess? Don’t we like watching history repeat itself? I love it. So bet, bet, bet, bet! Come on, faster! If I had a penny for each time your father’s intern left you in the summer, I’d have two pennies. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s hilarious it happened twice!

The jingle of keys pulled the plug on asshole-me’s voice. I’d waited a whole hour now and my head snapped up so fast I heard my neck pop. The front door opened and my heart flinched when my father walked in, dressed in one of those hideous Hawaiian shirts they sold in souvenir shops and flaunting on his nose and cheekbones a really bad case of sunburn. He’d say the sun was harsh in Minnesota. I’d pretend not to hear because believing was impossible. He slipped out of his sandals and I clasped my hands together in excitement.

“Dad, finally! I was starting to think I’d have to reheat everything,” I said. He turned to face the fake exasperation masking the genuine joy I felt at his return. A doubtful smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and my eyes were frantically bouncing from him to the open door. Panic began to well up in my mind. Asshole-me was diligently digging a hole for it, to fit as much as possible.

“A pretty big feast you have there.” Rolland Raven took off the sunglasses he was wearing to eye the food a bit better. I cracked a smile I hoped wouldn’t seem constipated. My thought process was starting to lag due to overload when I heard a faint curse. Next thing, Levi’s pale figure, wearing a ridiculous straw hat. My heart dropped like a stone, plugged the pit of panic and made asshole-me yelp when it nearly crushed her fingers. I felt like stumbling back into my chair and never getting up.

“I guessed you might be hungry after the flight. You don’t have to eat all of it,” I said. It was then a pair of graphite hues shot up to my face. It felt like each muscle in it strained almost to the point of tearing. My father took a seat at the counter while the intern opted to drop off his luggage upstairs and change clothes. I stared after him a second too long while he was climbing the stairs.

“You’ve never waited for me after a business trip before.” (E/c) clashed with (e/c) as my father began picking his food and digging in with more enthusiasm than I’d expected. Levi had mentioned the almightly Raven had complained about the poor quality on the trip compared to what he had at home, but it was still a compliment to witness it manifested.

“I usually have things to do when you’re on business trips, father. This summer I needed a source of entertainment.” I rolled my eyes, letting them scan the interior during the roundabout lie. Lucky enough, they caught the exact moment Levi was leaving his room, tugging down his shirt. A glimpse of fit abdominals. A vague tan line. The food on the counter became a tad bit less appetising.

“Don’t you have Eren Jaeger to help with that?” My father’s question made my attention snap back in place just in time for Levi not to catch me staring. He took a seat at the far end of the counter but I was too preoccupied with a small freak-out fit to dwell on it.

“About that,” I squeaked out with a constipated expression, prompting both men’s attention to turn from half-hearted to wholly undivided. Amazing. I couldn’t have done a better job at it if I’d begun yodelling out of the blue. “Eren broke up with me two months ago.” The key to not sounding like a squeaky toy was to not meet anybody’s gaze. My father was blinking like something had gotten in his eye and Levi’s jaw clenched at the discomfort he was subjected to.

“And I wasn’t notified of that because?” Rolland Raven, among many a quality, was a proud man who, in spite of his profession, could never act quite as predictably as I wished him to. This was no exception because I didn’t have time to open my mouth before he silenced me with a hand in the air. “No, forget I asked. I need to have a serious talk with him. Maybe make him pay back all the dates you’ve handled with interest. We can make a fortune.” The devious plan was voiced in his typical cold-blooded businessman manner. I waved my hands around in discomfort.

“Hold your horses, father. You’re not the one who got dumped. Eren ended the whole thing because he went to study in Germany,” I explained but it wouldn’t satisfy my father, who only glared while putting a fork-full of potatoes in his mouth. Levi tried to become fully invisible. I thought if things got too heated for him, he might make a dash for his room with the dish.

“Unreasonable as can be. If he loved you as much as he had the balls to claim in front of me, he could’ve thought of an alternative that didn’t include breaking your heart. Because of something as insignificant as distance, too.” My father leaned back in his chair with folded arms. He forgot all about food so he could glare at me.

“4898 miles to be exact,” I murmured pitifully. Both men shot me an incredulous look, to which I switched on defence mode. “I did my research. I wasn’t crying the whole time.” Subconsciously copying my father’s position, I reclined in my chair and crossed my arms, glaring like a child prior to giving a sigh and smiling weakly. “I gave it a lot of thought and he did the right thing. So can you be the one to tell mom later?” The last inquiry seemed to surprise him, maybe because it was expected of me to share more with my mother and thus already have her know the super secret information I was handing him.

“I’ll try not to cry as I do.” A nod and a similar weak smile. “You did well not to tell me immediately.” He returned to normal – calculating and sharp, looking for weaknesses and thinking in numbers. Levi’s lack of shock went unnoticed, which I was secretly thankful for. The raven was looking at me playing with the silver band around my finger to soothe my nerves.

“Because you would’ve gone to the airport to kick him to the curb like a good father?” I smirked, a pointed look aimed at the dark-haired businessman, who only snorted in return prior to redirecting his attention back to the food.

“… maybe.” A small pause betraying care, an awkward glance in his intern’s direction conveying mild panic as a result of his feelings showing and a fake clearing of the throat to show discomfiture. He changed the topic immediately. “Have I told you you’ve become a better cook than your mother?” (E/c) clashed with (e/c) and I knew he could see I was holding back laughter by the way the corner of his mouth twitched downwards in displeasure.

“You have now. Congratulations on successfully dodging the topic,” I announced with a complacent grin as he scoffed, ignoring the embarrassment so he could go back to eating. Levi’s gaze was relentless but, once having resolved the current minor conflict, I felt too ashamed to return it. I couldn’t be speaking of Eren, thinking of Levi and acting like a professional whore. It went against my moral code. I wished it was as stable as my pride. Somewhere in my head, asshole-me was drafting an advertisement for the future demise of both.

The following day was unexpectedly laid back in terms of emotions – the process of waking up and going to work was starting to become mechanical. I disliked that I was turning into a nine-to-five zombie, but Melinda’s cross remarks did nothing to hinder my placidity and Adam’s request for a date was, surprisingly, accepted with a pinch of reluctance. It was time for something new, I defended when asshole-me breached the topic of my change of heart. I couldn’t go a whole life without clashing with a man who wasn’t Eren. To forget him, I actually needed to accept that. Because knowing he wouldn’t come back and I didn’t want to get back together was different from realising I couldn’t stay in the comfort zone of being endlessly attached to him and using it as an excuse to never move on.

I felt a smile light up my face the moment I saw Levi in front of the TV with a cup of tea in his hand. Unfortunately, I couldn’t use him to move on – it was the conclusion I drew from the quiet happiness gripping my heart at the sight of him beckoning me over. Everything I’d done had been quite enough. I wouldn’t turn him into a tool as well. So I settled on the couch and we led a half-assed conversation about the movie playing until my parents barged in, beaming and formal. Going for a date at a restaurant – yeah, no, I knew where they were going after. I smiled as we sent them off, and then the ebony-haired intern began choosing the movie we’d be watching and I worked on the snacks downstairs.

Accepted a date, claimed you won’t use him and now you’re pondering the kiss you’ll initiate. You know you’re fucked in the head, correct? Asshole-me piped mockingly, making me huff. I knew I was fucked in the head because she was there. Also, kissing Levi and using Levi were two different things. Different for him how? It’s kissing. It wasn’t. It would be exploring this time – not thinking about being distracted but feeling it for what it was. Jesus, that’s such a weak excuse. I felt she might be face-palming. Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You spent so much time telling your best friend you don’t like him, then you miss Eren, then you “date” Adam, then you grab your friend-zoned intern and decide you’ll be kissing him again – after you established you’re fucking inferior to the blondie who’s clearly hitting on him or clearly intent on doing it too. Can you not follow the timeline?

“Princess, why does Natalie tell me you’ve filled out all the forms related to the company’s income during our vacation?” Levi lowered the phone from his ear. The call had ended a second ago and he was glaring at me doubtfully. I was busy watching the movie – hopefully, excuse enough for scarce to no eye contact. I opened the pack of Doritos I’d dug up from my secret stash in the garage and warily eyed the pale intern’s expression.

“Because the forms were in the office downstairs and I figured they’d get in the way of our movie marathon, asshole. I haven’t messed them up.” My scoff was promptly returned to sender as Levi shoved his phone back in his pocket and clicked his tongue in exasperation. Another three minutes passed before I spoke up: “By the way, I need advice.” The room was dimly lit and the raven’s sharp gaze was on my temple.

“Will you have it in mind when you get back on your bullshit?” The inquiry was flat and doubtful. I tried to nod but it came out looking like a cringe and a shrug. His lips pursed in exhaustion. “Spill,” he ordered coldly, making me pout.

“How do I forget Eren?” Squeaky was the best I could do after becoming tense again. Nervousness was gnawing at the feeble stem of courage I’d managed to grow and my hopes for this to go as smoothly as a chat about the weather were stuck in an elevator on the top floor of a skyscraper. Even overthinking was useless here.

“Easy,” he said. Again, there was that breach of grammar. “Find somebody new. Judging by how much you’re smiling these days, you might as well be done with that.” The suspicious mockery made me snort.

“Don’t you think I might be happy to have you and dad back home?” I asked pointedly.

“No,” he countered with a defiant click of his tongue. What he said next sounded like an extract from a Jorge Bucay book. Something about self-love maybe. “Before you get with Rivers, however, you have to accept that Jaeger is now your ex. He’s part of the past and the past doesn’t hold power over the future if you don’t let it.” I bit back laughter to not offend him.

“Such a poet you are,” I huffed half-heartedly. “And how do I stop loving him?” Seriousness stood perched on my right shoulder, but the Doritos between us kept decreasing and I felt the soothing coolness of the ring on my finger. Our gazes locked and I stared, just because I could, because he was back, because he acted normally. And why wouldn’t he? Our circumstances surely weren’t enough to alter his demeanour.

“You don’t. You never will and you should get used to it.” His answer cut deep and I realised it might’ve confused me but I was too captivated by his eyes to process it. He forced himself to explain: “We never stop loving somebody once we’ve fallen for them. We just fall harder for another person.” It was as romantic as it was businessman-like. A bit too… systematic somehow.

Line up, line up! Asshole-me encouraged. I imagined a big queue in front of an entrance door with a sign bearing my name above it. Number 12, pass through, but beware – number 10 wasn’t careful with his words and number 11 made no effort to change that! The asshole side of me clearly fancied the idea. For all waiting, the Eren Jaeger mural is on the left and the guy on the right is the one you’ll never be! Keep trying but keep this face in mind – Levi Ackerman is hiding in a lot of the corners you’ll visit! He’s an invaluable guest at this establishment! Oh! Is it time for the next one already? Hurry up, number 13! Don’t hold up the queue, who knows how much capacity we have left. And so on until the last victim had walked in. It made my nose scrunch up.

“Does that mean you still haven’t gotten over Petra?” I piped curiously, bright eyes observing closely the intern’s reaction. The movie was no longer as interesting. Everything I could focus on was the furrow between Levi’s brows and the flat unperturbed look in his eyes. He grabbed a Dorito from the pack. I moved my hand away just in time to avoid a clash.

“It means I haven’t fallen in love with the next in line,” he said, reinforcing the notion of a queue. “I’m used to the fact she’d dead. Filling out every report in the world won’t bring her back,” he paused briefly and gulped, “so I go on with my life.” The explanation was simple but relatively quiet, like he was trying to say the words while not exactly aiming to have me hear them. His gaze was staring at the screen ahead as I looked down, trying to come up with a good one-liner to put him out of his discomfort.

“I feel like we’re becoming pensive,” I started with a lopsided smirk, “so let me pull a Reverse Uno card on this mood by saying I’ve reached a milestone in my life.” Licking the Dorito dust off my fingers, I puffed out my chest proudly, making the intern put a hand to his mouth. Maybe he’d bitten back a smile behind it. “I won’t get fined for driving without supervision now. Not to mention, I can have sex.” Waving an index finger in front of his face, I didn’t react when he grabbed it without warning.

“I don’t see what stopped you before,” he stated nonchalantly. I shrugged, concluding I hadn’t exactly shared with him details about my childish vow.

“There was this really religious teacher at school when I was ten – she scarred all her classes by giving them unsolicited Sex Education lectures mixed with Bible verse. Got fired because children complained to their parents, but she did a good one on me before that,” I explained with a smile, yanking my finger from his hold. “Since sex was for sinners – both began with the letter s, she explained to us – and I didn’t want to be a sinner because it meant… well, a bad person, I told myself I’d have sex only after turning eighteen, regardless of the temptation. So I held out. Proud of myself for that.” My complacent smile made him snort. He might’ve glanced at my lips right after.

“I’m sure there’s been a lot of temptation for you, princess,” he drawled in a deep sarcastic voice, moving the empty bag of Doritos away before wiping his fingers with as I processed the retort. I sat still, pouting for a fraction of a second, when it hit me this was my chance. The signal was there – shining in bright green, if I wasn’t color-blind – and it was time for me to grasp the opportunity.

“More than you can imagine, asshole,” I said with a scoff, not parting my eyes from his profile to observe his reaction. We cast aside the fact he could’ve poked fun at me being the furthest thing from a believer, yet such a big aspect of my life had been altered by a religious teacher. The tip of his nose twitched when he snorted in dismissal, not daring to meet my eye all of a sudden.

“The mood has been brightened. What do we do now?” He turned to face me, curious but hesitant, and I felt a surge of courage at the sight of the indecisiveness dawdling about in his grey eyes. The blue specks were calling me – count us, (Y/N), count us – and I concluded this would be the one time I initiated anything between us. It was stressful and scary, but it was Levi, so want overpowered fear, resulting in something we’d have a hard time sorting out our feelings on.

“Watch the movie you so diligently picked for us maybe?” But actions contradicted words because I was leaning in and he could see it. For two whole seconds, there was no movement on his end. Panic was about to make me pull back, pin it to something else, anything else, when his hand lifted, slender fingers gently tucking my hair behind my ear. This was it. It would happen. I was exploring what it’d be like without the guilt of purposefully seeking distraction.

It was slow – the first kiss – his lips barely landing on top of mine so we could taste the water even when we knew it was lukewarm. The movie was like white noise – I could catch fragments of dialogue and the screen illuminated Levi’s profile the few times my lids fluttered open. His hold on the side of my face was gentle, granting permission for me to pull back at any point. I didn’t know what he was thinking. I knew I was barely thinking and it felt nice, for my head to be so blissfully empty. It was all sensations and when he dragged his tongue over my bottom lip, my mouth opened to allow access for further exploration. The kiss deepened and I tried to push closer into him.

“Get on top,” he muttered into my mouth. His right hand dipped to grab my leg. I might’ve flushed bright red, but I still complied, slowly straddling him and letting his hands guide me to where he found it most comfortable. I was terribly aware of what I sat on. It might’ve been terribly aware of me, too.

It was slow and fast at the same time. We weren’t breaking the kiss but some moments of it – like his hand brushing my side and making me cover in goosebumps – were fleeting like blinks while others – like the weird scorching thing in my whole torso – felt endless. It was indescribable to a point, the heat of the moment but the moment was long and the pace was changing slightly the more it went on. It hadn’t been him either. It was him responding to me, because I couldn’t for the life not hold him tightly and subconsciously look for more. We were glued together and his fingers had tentatively pushed up my shirt at the back so they could trail up and down the curve of my spine.

My head was tilted, fingers tangled in his hair and heavy huffs escaping my nostrils. He smelled like lavender and rain and cologne, and my fucking conditioner I’d told him a thousand times to stop using because it was expensive. I didn’t bother scolding him about it now. My desperate want turned the kisses hungrier and there was this point – I might’ve wiggled slightly to find an even closer spot – but he stiffened and grabbed the back of my head, growing twice as persistent and passionate. Weird, using that word about him. It hit me the forbidden part of male anatomy I was seated on top of had risen to attention. It made me wonder if it had happened before and that, in turn, was simultaneously embarrassing and flattering. He was attracted to me, too. Duh. We were literally making out on my bed.

When more began translating as more of everything instead of more of this particular thing, he seemed to sense the shift. His hands guided me off his lap and back on the bed. My head was resting against the pillow and my head was empty, lids fluttering open to drink the sight of him the first time he broke the kiss – pale but handsome, tired but caring, bored but clearly moved by the happening. It was a miracle. I’d been begging for this statue to show me anything in the beginning of his internship. I hadn’t known it could show me this – it looked like a godsend. My heart was going a hundred miles per hour, my breath was unsteady and my body felt hot all over.

It didn’t matter where he kissed – my lips, my neck, my chest, my shoulders – I just wanted him to keep kissing me. Temptation had seldom been this strong and the vow was no longer active, it was fulfilled – an electrifying realisation. I didn’t need to have him stop. What my sinner’s hands did the moment that resolution snapped in place was to grab the hem of his shirt and, with pointed urgent eyes, plead with him to take it off. He hesitated for exactly one second, then complied, like he’d complied with everything else without having me say it. He was kneeling between my legs, arms going over his head so the piece of clothing could be discarded. His chest and abdomen flexed, the biceps, the triceps, all the other names of muscles I’d had to read about but hadn’t memorised. Adonis in the flesh. Fuck me for drooling. Oh.

If I could paint, I’d paint him. If I could sing, I’d write a song. If I had a taser, I’d tase myself out of being so cringe-worthy in admiring the body of a man. But when that body pressed against mine, everything became a bit too hot – literally and metaphorically – so I decided the next step was to cool down by taking off my own clothes. First the shirt, then the pants he helped out with. I almost laughed when they tangled at my ankles and he had to tug them off with an irritated frown. Here it was, having my father’s intern see my bra again. This time I didn’t mind.

“Frills? Seriously?” Well, now I minded.

“Do we have an issue?” I snapped with a pointed look. It didn’t help he was towering over me, sizing up my underwear with eyes that spoke simultaneously of him being amused and him being something else. I wondered if he was still hard. I hadn’t touched there once.

“It’s almost cute,” he mocked flatly. He didn’t reach to take it off – he just leaned down to mollify me with a kiss. It worked. I was carried off into wanting more again. The weight of him on top of me grounded the body and made the soul soar. It was a cringe comparison but whatever, it was true. I realised, right about the time I tugged on the waistband of his sweatpants and his brows flashed in unrestrained surprise, that I was an eighteen-year-old doing exactly what was expected of every single eighteen-year-old on the planet – sneaking a boy into my room while my parents were out.

This here was a boy I trusted and a boy I was halfway convinced was more of a man than a boy, mostly when it came to observing how he casually sat up and removed his sweatpants with precision contrary to clumsiness. My eyes flickered down to his boxers. Still hard alright. There was a rush of excitement and shame all at once when I realised it. A bit too late to stop and pin this a mere heat-of-the-momet make-out session. It was the real deal. Happening. Live. In my room. On a late August evening. Goodness gracious.

It took me a second to process it and he might’ve sensed that I’d grown a bit rigid despite remaining just as active. He didn’t advance the happening, petting my hair and kissing me, and trailing lower, but only as low as he’d gone before, finding the rest a sort of forbidden land. Didn’t even take off the bra with the frills he mocked me for. What a gentleman. He was kissing the curve of my breast and I was wondering how in the fucking hell I’d deserved this.

“We don’t have to,” he warned at some point. “If you don’t want to. Saying no is allowed.” He kissed me and it was intoxicating, but also the last snapped nerve. I arched my back off the bed, elbows bending so my hands could reach for my bra clip. The shoulder straps went loose and Levi paused for a moment to process what the act meant.

“I won’t say it,” I muttered with determination, eyes locked with his. Pride was strong within me even now and, having the wordless consent, he gently took off the bra before paying some attention to newfound territory. It was like being examined in a lab. Again, my boobs weren’t perfect. It was genetics and fate, and whatever else. In being embarrassed about him staring at my chest, I was graced by the thought I hadn’t shaved anywhere. Double embarrassed. Wasn’t it only right that the first time would come with presentability? There go the Raven teachings.

And the word nipple is somewhat lame – I’ve heard it from native and non-native speakers of English both – but there is no other word. So when his tongue rolled around my nipple, I forgot I hadn’t shaved and drew such a sharp breath I almost choked. My chest was heaving and he was thumbing my other nipple. I thought we’d get straight to it and was mistaken. He knew better, it seemed, because a virgin needed the bare minimum of this much and more foreplay to truly relax. It hit me for a fraction that this was actual foreplay while I was staring at the ceiling between trying not to make any sounds. I was like a dead fish, just letting him do things to me. More responsive than a dead fish but awfully inexperienced in any case. It made me feel just a bit guilty. My one saving grace was the fact his erection kept brushing against my leg – and if that was there, then it meant he wasn’t dissatisfied.

It was a black spot for a while because I couldn’t pinpoint between the overwhelming build-up of nice but not nice enough where exactly Levi was kissing or sucking or nipping or touching. Now it would be my thigh, now leaving a hickey on my shoulder, now trailing kisses over my jaw and down my neck, now caressing my side, now trailing a finger down to my navel, now my boob, intermission, the other boob – and the whole time there was that thing in my abdomen, the same one I’d felt with Eren, the hot knot begging for attention.

This was a new person and I hadn’t thought it’d come with a new person, but it was there alongside a brand new dynamic which wasn’t hurried or harsh or overtly passionate like I’d been used to. The pace was decent and steady and passion here didn’t amount to bruises – or at least not explicitly so. The new person made it thrilling, overwhelming. The new person made it a brand new experience. And when the brand new person’s hand gently dipped to touch the part where my legs met, I shivered all over, heart and lady boner flinching at once. Levi, with his obstinacy, refused to ask permission vocally. I still nodded, spreading my legs a bit wider. Slowly, like my panties weren’t in the way, he kissed from my knee to the base of my inner thigh, nipped slightly and made me yelp, and muffled something like a chuckle against the plush of my leg.

I didn’t know what he was thinking. I knew his fingers pressing against the spot where wetness had accumulated made my mouth gape slightly. I craned my neck and closed my eyes. There was embarrassment holding hands with excitement, with pleasure breathing down their necks. Nothing quite mattered. I breathed out like I’d been holding my breath for fourteen minutes when the raven’s fingers gently dragged back and forth against my core and then he might’ve been impatient, because he tugged my underwear out of the way, down my legs, past the knees and the ankles, dropping it with the rest of our clothes and the empty Dorito bag on the floor. It was a whole mess, this thing. I wanted it.

“The house is empty, princess,” he said while leaning down to kiss below my navel.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, almost out of breath in spite of my lungs functioning perfectly. His fingers were ghosting on the side of where I wanted him to touch. His mouth dragged lower. There was the jab of shame about not being shaved again. It hadn’t sent him to his feet and out of the room, so it was probably fine. A man wasn’t afraid to fight the jungle, I’d heard a few times before.

“That you can make noise without being scared,” he responded casually. I snorted and decided inwardly that I wouldn’t be making any noise whatsoever, just to spite him. It did feel good, though, so I doubted I could actually hold back effectively. As though to challenge the unsaid decision, Levi cut the suspense short. When his tongue rested where only one other had before, I came close to whining. My hand shot down to paw at his hair and he hummed against my clit. The vibrations of it made me writhe slightly.

He licked and sucked – nipped twice, which made me yelp both times – and did all sorts of other magic. Added to the title of mind-reader would now be the rank of mage. Then, there was this point when I could feel his fingers prodding at my entrance – a gentle warning of what was to come. First it was one. My mouth gaped and there was a slight flash of something like pain. More like discomfort. Now this was brand new wherever I looked at it from. Remember, my vow had its doors but none had included penetration. Officially the furthest I’d gone with somebody. Goodbye, hymen. You served us well.

He waited. Waited almost a full minute and distracted me with his tongue before I rolled my hips to give him the green light. Slow pumps. It was still uncomfortable, but the friction wasn’t painful. Just uncomfortable and new and I didn’t like change, but when this one found with its finger one particular spot sold off as the Bermuda Triangle for men to find, I might’ve liked this particular change. First, it made me moan. Second, the more he kept reaching that spot – because it was impossible to miss I liked it – the closer I was to coming. There were sloppy sounds and a second finger inserting itself in me, and my voice bouncing off the walls before dropping to the floor in a hush.

I might’ve said his name, actually, I might’ve half-screamed it. The orgasm hit me like a brick dropping straight on my genitals and he kept flicking his tongue slower and slower until I’d ridden it out in full. How considerate. When his fingers came out, there was a spot of blood. My mouth clamped shut in shame. He reached over to clean them with a wet wipe – then he cleaned me, too, because obviously he could see things that were invisible to me. There was slick on his chin and I glared half-heartedly when his eyes twinkled in amusement at me.

“Well, that’s done,” I muttered while he leaned over with the intention to kiss me again. “Wipe your mouth, asshole.” I put a hand to his chest to prevent my own pussy juices from coming in contact with my face. For a clean-freak, he sure didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get them off.

“You don’t want to see how tasty it is?” He was mocking me. I was red and hot all over still, a bit like a deflated balloon being refilled with exasperation contrary to air. No longer a virgin, as far as doctors would care. Still kind of in the middle, considering typical hetero interactions included something more than fingers.

“God, no!” I tried to push at his jaw and he almost chuckled when the pussy juice got on my fingers and I flicked my wrist frantically to get it off.

“It was god, yes a second ago,” he drawled pointedly. I burned bright red under his gaze, naked and not a hymen-bearer and kind of lost as to what came next. I pouted, swatted his shoulder and pretended to be very disgusted when he kissed me, making it open-mouted and sloppy for the sake of spiting me. In truth, it didn’t taste like much. Tasted weird, unlike food and drink. Well, that’s bodily fluids for you.

Remember the right-est choice I made as of late? Here it comes. The kiss guided his fingers down to my clit again and mine – to the band of his boxers. A tug and a snap, and he asked me three whole fucking times if I was sure. Not verbally, of course. It was just the particular way he stopped between each step to make sure, to look at me straight in the eye and have me nod my consent back to him. Like I’d change my mind that fast. God’s sake – if I would’ve said no, I would’ve said it before we’d kissed. But this wasn’t something he would do under normal circumstances – not a matter of alcohol, guilt or duty. It was free will and choice. Mine might’ve been made sometime last month, right around my birthday.

The boxers were gone. I blinked at it. A penis in textbooks, a dick in colloquial speech, a cock in smut books, a member in tame erotica. Length, girth, meat sword, love machine – could go on forever. We sat staring at it like it was an alien and while I was bashful, I was also bad with measurements without the aid of a ruler, hence why I safely concluded that I could stack about four donuts on it and put the zipper on it. There was that thing – precum, was it? – leaking from the tip. In all honesty, no I didn’t want to lick it off. Same went for sperm. In the history of mankind, I’d done the gracious thing and sucked off my boyfriend exactly once – the rest had been handjobs because blowjobs came with terrible pains in the jaw, a cramping of the tongue, a crap salty taste and the awkward detail of looking like an unattractive fish during the act. So, no, I didn’t volunteer to show off how bad I was at it.

“Condoms, shit.” It flew out of my mouth unintentionally. Levi’s face scrunched up. We were both visited by the bitter realisation that going further was not an option anymore, unless he wanted to don on a sock. Then the solution came to me. “Keep it up, I’ll be back in a minute,” I mumbled hurriedly, jumping off the bed and rushing butt-naked out of the room so I could go to my parents’ bedroom. Yeah, no, such was the reality of things. I tried to keep my conscience untainted while rummaging through the wardrobe. The hidden box of condoms in the back by the shoes was the saving grace. I wouldn’t speak of this to a living soul that wasn’t Annie Leonheardt ever.

The moment I returned to the room with the box held proudly over my head, Levi snorted. He laid me on the bed again and the mood returned, which was weird because I’d pinned him the type of experience one moment of interruption and consider it all ruined. Not that I’d thought about him during sex or having sex. I hadn’t. I promise. I was thinking it now, when I was about to have it with him. The kisses eased the natural awkwardness and by the time he was putting it in, I was a desperate mess again. Sweat stuck to skin and my breath got stuck in my throat when he pushed it in. I blanked, gaped like I’d received a headshot and felt him stand still to let me adjust. There was, again, mild discomfort. Fingers couldn’t compare to a dick.

I gave it half a minute and told him to move. The first thrust had me whining into his mouth. It was good. It was good, progressively becoming better and better and better, a surprise arriving with each snap of his hips. My father’s intern having sex with me, my father’s intern, my father’s intern, my intern, my Levi. The first five minutes were full of careful slow strokes to let the awkwardness dissipate and for me to get used to it. I won’t call myself anything but I’ll say I got used to it a bit too fast for comfort. So it went. Losing my virginity to my father’s intern.

“Faster, can you--- a bit faster?” The words were choked out and you’d wonder why I would ask for faster when slow was doing a good job of making my chest heave like I was running a marathon, but it was maddening and addictive.

“I can for you, princess.” It was a rasp against the side of my neck and I was blanking because the voice, paired with the hands, with the scent, with the sensation of being full and empty, then full and empty again was so mind-numbing I could melt on the spot and stay there forever. So slow and careful turned into fast and considerate. There was no harshness in him even when he kneaded my boobs or licked stripes down the length of my throat, no harshness whatsoever when he gripped my thighs or my sides. It was tight, but pleasant, egging me on further.

I bit down on the pillow when he found the spot. I bit his finger, too. I bit his shoulder and I bit my own hand to keep my voice down because how was something on this Earth allowed to be so nice? Fuck. He murmured at me to moan if I felt like it. There was a smug undertone. And when he reached between us to roll circles around my clit, I didn’t moan – I was a banshee impersonator, neck craning, back arching, toes curling, all that jazz. I came with a crash and a bang, and it might’ve been an hour by now, or maybe more, but the neighbourhood was asleep and I was wide awake, trying to wake them up, too.

A five-minute break of kisses served as an intermission to avoid me becoming overstimulated but Levi was still hard and still quite energetic in spite of the fact he’d been fucking me for an overall of thirty minutes without stopping or having his pace hitch. Round two started fast and I had my legs up, knees on the sides of my head. It was hot, seeing him through that kind of frame. Just one bead of sweat on his temple – not sticky all over, unlike me. Why was I the one becoming exhausted anyway? I was being a pillow princess. His eyes were gorgeous and his lips were slightly swollen.

“Please, don’t stop,” I whined at some point. He didn’t seem to have any prospects of stopping anyway, but I couldn’t help it. He huffed, chest heaving with lust and I knew it wasn’t easy to be the one doing all the work, so I mentally gave credit where credit was due. “Oh--- Levi, God!” He seemed like he wanted to laugh and my ring glimmered in the dark against his cheek while I tried to pull him down for a kiss which was simply impossible in our current position. He switched it five minutes later. It was not an understatement to claim I was seeing stars and everything was nice and nothing was awkward and this was the most handsome man with the most stamina on this land.

I lost my voice at some point, or I thought I did because my third orgasm couldn’t make me bite down on the pillow fast enough to muffle the literal holler that left my lungs. His name, by the way. If that hadn’t woken the neighbours, I wasn’t sure anything would. I was recuperating and he was trailing gentle pecks along my neck, still not finished. Was sex always this physically draining? My mind might’ve blanked during the third round and we were in missionary again because I insisted that I be able to kiss him any time I wished to. His hand was holding my wrist captive and the other was massaging my breast and it was all a giant whirlpool of pleasure and heat and fluids – the nasty and the nice in one, but I couldn’t care less about the nasty.

He came with a growl, biting down on my shoulder to muffle something that sounded like my name as his pace hitched and turned sloppy for the first time in what felt like hours. He slumped down on top of me and I was breathing more heavily than him, calmed by the weight. I was blinking at the ceiling and my heart was doing somersaults in my ribcage. He went to shower after a minute of rest, I called him out for being a clean freak and it just so happened that my perception of time wasn’t all too warped because checking my phone made me realise we’d had sex for about three hours, foreplay included. I slipped into the shirt he’d tossed on the floor, wiped myself and very considerately ignored the soreness in my hips while changing the sheets.

To my biggest surprise, he returned to my room in a new pair of boxers with his hair wet. There was no invitation. He joined me on the clean bed and wrapped his arms around me. This might’ve been aftercare. When our gazes locked, I didn’t dare avert my eyes in bashfulness. It was surreal and I wanted to memorise it. Then he asked me again – as voicelessly as the first time and the following ten – and I answered positively by flashing him the biggest smile I could muster. No words were exchanged. Levi rolled his eyes and I tucked myself under his chin, legs tangling with his. I was knocked out cold. I wouldn’t hasten to write this off as a happy ending but I wouldn’t immediately turn it angsty either. I explored. It was nice. I don’t think I regretted it for a second.

Waking up was a surreal experience because it included the added luxury of being bathed in sunlight with a warm arm draped around my midriff and a pale sunlit face inches from mine. A spot of purple in the crook of his neck and a few red crescents on his shoulder. Perhaps one or two leftover scratches on his back. I blinked at the sight incredulously, gradually coming to and realising what this position meant – prompted by last night’s three different ones, too.

It happened! Asshole-me hollered in my head, nearly hysteric, slamming a pan into a bell and making the echo of the toll ring painfully against the confines of my skull. You ruined it all! It was like an automatic switch – suddenly, the neutral was the bad and I had complicated it with my impulsiveness, my stupid hormones. I imagined four months of awkwardness and the wish to have more but being completely incapable of asking for fear it would mean feelings. I pictured a tense atmosphere, uncomfortable interactions, embarrassing thoughts, lame excuses. A friendship built with struggle and just barely reinforced annihilated to smithereens by my dumb ass.

I cringed, removing my hand from Levi’s chest to slap myself across the face for being horrible again – not in using him but in indulging my own selfishness. His eyelids fluttered open before the admonishment transpired and I was staring straight into the melted silver which had the tendency to read my thoughts. The current self-reprimanding cacophony would entertain him.

“… should make you coffee,” he mumbled half-coherently, making me blink wondrously at his hazy composure. This is normal, his eyes whispered, lips pressing nonchalantly to my forehead before he got up, so there’s no need to be so shocked. The trip down the stairs was silent. I had left scratches. More than two.

Currently, we were in the kitchen, sitting around the counter with our mandatory morning drinks. Unsaid words hung from the ceiling like dangling cobwebs. Levi, who’d needed a moment to retrieve his memories in full, was stiff and uncertain, and in spite of that visibly calmer than me. I could feel my face heating up as I thought of what to say. This wasn’t normal, even if both of us upon our respective awakening had pinned it such. It was something we had to discuss but how were we supposed to discuss sex when we sometimes fought over food? Deciding what to do seemed impossible.

“Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?” The raven, of course, was the one who broke the silence while I was slurping on my coffee, gaze averted and heart beating erratically. “Princess, I’m afraid this is something important,” he said in the face of my silence. His piercing glare was on my temple but I wouldn’t turn, keeping my fingers glued to my cup and my mind grounded in panic. “Need I remind you exactly what happened?” Levi pressed additionally, husky voice raising in audible urgency. I felt completely and utterly naked – dressed in only his shirt and my own underwear.

“We had sex, that’s what happened.” I shrugged, mind preoccupied with the strange feeling eating its way into it. Deep into my stomach, up to my lungs, through the chambers of the heart, in the windpipe – but not painfully. “There’s nothing more to it.” The nonchalant statement didn’t get a warm welcome. That much was to be expected. The attractive intern was frowning, rubbing his temples with a frustrated sigh. I tried not to look at his fingers.

And I’m trying to do just that, asshole-me scoffed pointedly. There’s something different about them when they’ve been inside you last night, yeah? A good type of different. Imagine it. My shoulders tensed as I chased her around in my head with a frying pan. Levi ran a hand through his ebony locks. Wow, is that the sex hair? And I pursed my lips in displeasure, knowing the struggles of the current moment and choosing in spite of them to secretly a wish for a second time. No harm, you know, no harm whatsoever in wanting to fuck your father’s goddamn intern, yeah? No? Can you hear it? Does it sound like a good sentence? Does it?

“Where exactly does your lacking virginity fit into your nothing more to it?” His retort made me cringe, well aware of the virginity ace hidden up his imaginary sleeve. It was a bit harder to argue with him when he was half-naked, letting me see the spots I’d bitten and kissed. The situation: we’d had sex. My side: I had nothing against him being my first because I trusted him and he’d been experienced and careful enough to make it nice. The actual problem: he was my father’s intern.

The abstract part: intimacy often came with, well… intimacy. Casual sex had the advantage of not seeing your partner again afterwards and in our case, we’d had casual sex with somebody we saw daily. Future speculation: tension due to this adventure would brew either discord or twice the ferocity in repeating the adventure. A possible solution: talking about feelings. Additional issue: Levi and I talking about feelings? Not in this day and age. Not in this life either. Telling him he made me feel warm and appreciated? Impossible. Honesty in the face of something embarrassing? Sorry, I don’t know her. She must be really lame.

“Everywhere, because I don’t care for it. It might add complexity to your situation, but it doesn’t play a big role in mine.” Dismissing the whole of it and pinning it on him was wrong. My nonchalance was false. Maybe it was what made him take a deep breath prior to speaking up again, his tea untouched.

“You’re supposed to be freaking out, princess.” His eyes were on mine and asshole-me was screaming: Come on, do it! Just kiss him and make things worse! Go right ahead! I averted my gaze with a snort. He’d used my nickname last night. Added a shade of meaning to it. I tried to get a grip as my rational side reasoned with the situation. This had been a one-time thing – or at least for him. Following that train of thought, wanting more was useless.

“You think I’m not?” It was high-pitched and ludicrous. Memories were surfacing and it was somewhat unpleasant to think they wouldn’t repeat. Levi kissing me in the dark, almost saying my name, clearing the hair from my sweaty forehead, biting my neck as he came, smiling against my lips as I tugged on his hair and tried not to moan, holding me close afterwards, not once saying the wrong thing. “I’m freaking out. You just don’t see it.” My downcast gaze was thoughtful and the air was becoming heavier with something I couldn’t identify. I could feel him staring and it bugged me not to know what he was thinking. “What?” I snapped, refraining from playing with my ring.

“What do you want to do now?” He asked flatly, eyes pinning me in place. “Do you want me to pretend this didn’t happen or do you want us to keep going?” It was ridiculous hearing him say it because, usually, he wouldn’t. I blinked, thinking I’d misheard.

“Keep going as in keep having sex?” I echoed to make sure I’d understood. It might’ve gone out a bit more shocked than expected, which made him sigh.

“I was listing options. In the end, it all comes down to what you want.” The flat voice made me realise I knew what I wanted well enough to have chosen during the conversation with Hanji three days ago or maybe even before I’d had the courage to admit it to myself.

“I don’t know what I want,” I lied with a pointed look, vehement embarrassment clawing up my throat and scratching at the back of it. I could say I wanted to keep going – his offer meant he might be willing – but his response was a fifty-fifty on whether he was sexually frustrated or would rather stick to decorum while living in the same house as the girl he was fucking and her father. I couldn’t turn the question on him because it was mean. I couldn’t call it a mistake because that would be another lie. I was tired of lying when it didn’t go to protect my pride.

“You don’t?” He quirked a thin brow mockingly, feigning the surprise he didn’t feel. “Or you just don’t want to admit your favour the more embarrassing option?” I sat motionless, knowing this wasn’t what I should’ve been doing – considering it. Maybe this was a test he had for me – to see if I’d be dumb or act like a reasonable adult. But (there came that stupid word again) if Hanji had been right, this wasn’t a random hook-up, which meant there might be something and---

Are you seriously considering a relationship with somebody who’s leaving in less than four months? Asshole-me interjected, making me sigh in defeat. Doesn’t fuck randomly, okay, fine, but this is an exception. How in the fucking hell would he grow to like you? You know that’s impossible. Methinks he went along with it because you clearly wanted it. Think about it, he does all sorts of bullshit for you. So what sounds more plausible? Him being himself or him liking you? The former, of course, but I couldn’t admit it. Like I couldn’t admit he was right to say I favoured the more embarrassing option.

“Even if it was like that,” I chose to return the favour and be doubtful, “I’m not inclined to think your morals would let you humour me.” My chin was tipped upwards while Levi shook his head and finally took a sip from his tea. The ghost of a smirk in the corner of his mouth disarmed.

“I have little to nothing against it. But,” (that fucking word again) the firmness of his voice was the only thing keeping my chest from swelling, “it doesn’t sound like an ideal course of action when you’ve almost got yourself a new boyfriend,” he reasoned calmly, somber responsibility lacing his tone.

“It’s not cheating if we’re not official,” I protested instantly, furrowed brows and a pout. He snorted.

“That’s not what I meant, princess.” My lips pursed at the jolt the nickname gave me. “I don’t want sex clouding your judgement. I get Rivers isn’t your boyfriend, but you shouldn’t exclude him as a possibility just because you’ve started thinking you have feelings for me.”

“Besides being a poet, you’ve turned into a psychologist, too,” I exclaimed with a genuinely cheerful chuckle that made him quirk a brow. Something in my throat shrivelled up. “Don’t dwell on my feelings too much, asshole,” I reassured. “I like this because it’s something new, not because I’m head over heels in love with you.” I was still chuckling as he sipped on his tea and fixed me with one of those firm looks that had the ability to bend the knees. The effect was doubled in intensity this morning.

“Make your choice then,” he said boredly, not wishing to be too imperious, seeing as the situation wasn’t taking place in a formal setting where he was the boss and I was the indecisive underling. I might as well have been, with how hot my ears got while I held his gaze, brave and stupid in the face of somebody who read me better than I sometimes read myself.

“I’m not saying it out loud,” I muttered, bashful. The ebony-haired intern watched me struggle before tilting his head to the side with a fake air of oblivion.

“Then I won’t know what you want,” he said innocently, attempting to mock my shyness and what was more – succeeding. I burned bright red, feeling heat creep up my neck and my glare was pointed and uncontrolled. It couldn’t pass as mere annoyance because Levi was hitting a nerve.

“I didn’t see you having a hard time knowing everything I wanted last night, but okay.” There was more spite than sass in the sentence, which only further conveyed my inability to stay nonchalant – something that clearly amused him. “I want us to… keep going. Satisfied?” Crossed arms, downcast gaze and a childish pout. I was the live embodiment of the word petulance and Levi wasn’t done having fun with it.

“Not as satisfied as I clearly left you.” He was smirking and I glared at him, furious and not knowing where the blood would go when there was no space left in my head. I hopped off my chair, turning my back to him and hearing how he moved to stand behind me. A well-meaning hand landed on my shoulder. “It was a joke, princess, there’s no need for the cold shoulder.” His tone was flat and disinterested, but there was a pacifying sliver. He might’ve been trying to make peace but I wouldn’t have it after all the embarrassment he put me through – just to have a good private laugh, too!

“Un-fucking-bearable, that’s what you are,” I hissed, brushing his hand off my shoulder and heading to the staircase in order to escape. He gave chase and set on ignoring the usual code that forbade touchy-touchy when unneeded. The pure and unfiltered imagination one must have in order to picture a shirtless Greek God chasing after a poorly dressed eighteen-year-old spoiled brat was too ambitious a requirement for anybody to fulfil. Turn to mythology for that, but it’s inappropriate there and this one meant well.

“I’ll stop embarrassing you if that’s what you want.” His hands were on my shoulders. He turned me around and I didn’t look at him, much less respond. He could sense I was ashamed. His hands slowly trailed down over my arms to hold my wrists in a grip I could, with effort, free myself from. “Does the mere mention of sex with no context whatsoever embarrass you, princess?” He knew it did, leaning forward with twinkling eyes and a complacent half-smile. “Your face is red.”

“And you’re a fucking genius, congratulations,” I spat with sarcastic disgruntlement. He pulled me forward so that I bumped into his chest. My shoulders jumped in surprise. I didn’t want to look him in the eye but the sight of the marks I’d left on him were no less embarrassing to behold. My heart sped up and I was pouting, flush against him with nowhere to go.

“It speaks,” he whispered by my ear. His hands retraced their steps over my arms and shoulders, gently gliding against the sides of my neck until they held my face. “Does it want to go up to my room?” Blue specks in a pool of melted silver. The question was genuine, in spite of being masked with slight mockery. The adult of us two. I tried to stay mad, but it was impossible. I promised the blue specks I’d count them later and then we were kissing. It was a funny picture – the whole of this situation – ridiculous but somehow not fictional. It was him lifting me off the floor and me wrapping my legs around him. It was him making step after step, steady and careful not to drop me while I snickered into his mouth. It was me being a literal koala and then it was us, hearing the jingle of keys.

“Shit,” I cursed, parting from him with a smack. He let go and I could catch only a glimpse of the panic on his face before I was running up the stairs. I’d barely closed the door behind us when I heard my mother greeting the empty kitchen downstairs. While I breathed out in relief, Levi was already heading to the balcony. It occurred to me that there was a pack of condoms on my nightstand and they were stolen. I’d need to make a trip to the pharmacy and replace the box. Talk about inconvenient. “Careful now,” I piped while the intern was preparing to make the jump, “we don’t want you to fall.” He gave me a half-hearted glare but said nothing.

When he was gone, I plopped down on my bed and grinned incredulously at the ceiling. This “secret sex” thing we were about to dive into wasn’t how I’d imagined the weeks prior to my first year in university, but oh, well. Expect the unexpected and if unable to – just accept it. This officially marked the beginning of my longest stay in City of Dumbassery. It was surprising, however, that I wasn’t alone in there. Twice as surprising that I’d be stuck with my father’s intern. Whom I was having sex with. Amazing. Spectacular. Asshole-me would have my ass for that.

tag list: @unloved-cadillac ; @donaldthrts

[scribbleseas]

Beyond the Walls, Chapter I: Welcome to the Survey Corps

Description: It’s the year 850.

You are a renowned scientist who narrowly saved the world from impending famine and malnourishment with a myriad of agricultural advancements after Wall Maria fell, surrendering acres of farmland to titans. However, your innovations are not quite enough to be a permanent solution, given that their yield rate is nowhere near ideal. Many are still starving, costs for bread and vegetables are still high, and refugee rations remain low

Convinced that the only sustainable answers can come from the natural world outside the walls, you implore Survey Corps Commander Erwin Smith to allow you to join his company’s ranks for their next expedition. His only condition? You must be trained in omni-directional mobility gear under Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, Captain Levi Ackerman, to qualify for the expedition as a soldier. Despite having no demonstrated prowess outside your trusty greenhouse, you willingly accept Erwin’s terms, desperate to prove your hypothesis. However, during your time with the Captain, you soon learn that there is more to the stoic and strong soldier that meets the eye, and instead, you have much more in common that you would have guessed. Not even you, a certified genius in the horticulture field, could predict the blossoming romance between you.

Is your commitment to saving humanity enough for you to endure extensive training under the scrutinizing Captain? Or will it be your unexpected feelings for him that ultimately distract you from your original experiment?

Content Warnings: Violence, gore, death, swearing, eventual kissing, eventual smut, human-eating titans, symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder

Author’s Note: Hi there! I told you all that the Levi fans would be getting fed soon! I hope this debut chapter interests you. Planning for this fic go back to nearly around the time I started finalizing the TIP outline, so I was really hyped to get it out! This fic does not explore any themes that are darker than the Attack on Titan canon. So if you’ve watched the anime/read the manga, nothing in this fic should be too distressing. Note: In no way do I claim that the MC’s innovations are my ideas! Aeroponics and vertical farming are innovations devised by real scientists, Fritz Warmolt and Gilbert Ellis Bailey, respectively. I’m the furthest thing from a scientist, seriously. I’m a humanities girlie, so I couldn’t get super creative with this without losing the realistic aspect.

Also, in case any of you were wondering: I will still be updating Straight Laced! It’s actually my priority. I only changed my account aesthetic because the cool blues and greys weren’t the summer vibe I wanted on my account anymore. Don’t be surprised if I change this soon, too! I have a major Pinterest addiction.

Thank you all for the support for the most recent chapter of Straight Laced, as well! I’m already hard at work on Chapter 3, and I think it could be out by next week. I’m on vacation right now, which explains all of the content all of the sudden. Also, also, keep an eye out for my new Masterlist! I’m currently looking for the best way to format it so all of my works— The Indignant Pawn, Straight Laced, Unfiltered (on hiatus), and this one — are easily accessible.

Happy Reading!

-Dan

MASTERLIST

| NEXT CHAPTER

“Commander Erwin,” you offered a tentative smile, the corners of your mouth turning upwards as you took measured steps into the Survey Corps leader’s office. “Thank you for making time for me on such short notice. I appreciate it more than you know.” You stopped in front of the single chair across from him, forcing the poise and fortitude expected of an established doctor into your demeanor. In front of the Commander, you felt as if he could see through every bit of your measured persona, and there was little you could do to fortify yourself.

“Of course, Doctor Y/l/n. Section Commander Hange speaks highly of you, and of course, your work more than speaks for itself,” Erwin Smith rose from his office chair. He extended his hand to you. You quickly accepted, giving his hand a professional shake, nearly in tandem with your nod. “What can I do for you?”

“Please, call me Y/n,” you sat in the chair across from his desk, wringing your hands in your lap, so he couldn’t see them. The best way to make your request was to simply ask. You fought the urge to wet your lips— it was a sign of weakness.

“I would like to join your next expedition outside the walls,” you straightened your back. Squared your shoulders. The words came out measured and sure, just as you practiced in the mirror for the past several days.

Erwin’s thick eyebrows knit together, a pensive departure from the mildly intrigued way he was regarding you prior. He frowned as if he thought he heard you incorrectly, and when you merely continued to gauge his reaction, he shook his head grimly. “Unfortunately, we cannot—” he started, but you refused to allow him to reject you outright.

Not without hearing you out, first. You had a few words prepared for this reason.

“There have to be occurrences in the natural world that we can learn from,” you insisted, raising your chin as an additional show of confidence. “My breakthroughs have helped, but they aren’t enough. Many — too many — people are still starving, we’re still rationing bread and potatoes in the outer towns, and only the inner cities have reliable vegetation.”

To combat the extreme loss of fertile farmland and resulting famine after Wall Maria fell, you invented space-conserving methods to grow crops. You were best known for vertical farming and aeroponics. Growing crops in vertically stacked layers instead of horizontal farmland generated more food in less space than traditional farming, and using aeroponics, you grew suspended plants without soil— only air and nutrient dense water, bypassing the poor soil quality within Wall Rose due to over planting.

“There has to be another way,” you continued. You repeated the same words to yourself to the point that you could see your loopy handwriting in your mind’s eye, the arrangement of your professional face from your reflection. “And the Survey Corps is the only military branch that goes outside the walls with a focus on human expansion and outside exploration. I can’t go outside myself, and I could not fathom watching humanity continue to starve while those titans gorge themselves on us.”

Erwin considered your words, but he thought better of conceding. “Doctor, you are an untrained civilian, not to mention one of the most brilliant minds in our time. I could never fathom—”

Come on, Erwin. Where is the open-minded Commander that decided to enlist a titan shifter?

“Train me on the omni-directional mobility gear,” you suggested. “I don’t have to be an untrained civilian. I’m a fast learner.” You were only a year from thirty and you were a certified doctor, alongside your doctorate in biology. Any academic success of yours was a result of your willingness to learn and innovate— surely mastering military operations and equipment couldn’t be much harder. “Besides, I am a trained medic. I know how many soldiers you lose on these expeditions from untreated on-site injuries. Commander, I am nothing but an asset.”

“You are willing to go through all of this for a couple of…soil samples? What do you hope to find?” Erwin asked skeptically. While you anticipated this particular question, you didn’t have a concrete answer. All you knew was that the natural world had to have better innovations that you couldn’t even begin to think of.

“I only want to come along with the 57th Exterior Scouting Mission. And I know it is going to be quite soon— you just received custody of the titan shifter,” you clarified. “You want to go back to Shiganshina, don’t you?”

Erwin’s frown deepened. “Cadets train for three years before they can join the Scouting Legion. If you start your training tomorrow, that would only give you about a month or two to gain competence with the ODM gear and a full understanding of how we do things here.” His expression told you: I doubt this is possible.

You expected him to say that as well, but absorbing information was second nature to you. Furthermore, you were relatively young and in decent shape. How hard can the gear be? “I can do it, sir. You have to at least give me a chance.”

Have to? You misspoke, but the commander didn’t seem to mind your pluck.

Instead, you watched Erwin’s resolve melt, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows as if he already regretted considering your proposition. “…And if you are not prepared for the expedition?” He looked at you expectantly, wanting you to voice the conditions yourself.

“If you do not deem me fit, I will not go,” you answered resolutely— confident that this was the last case scenario. “More so, I will set up my greenhouse and all necessary supplies at this base.” The Scouting Legion’s remote headquarters were perfect for establishing your work; the further away from the rest of the population, the better the soil. The healthier the soil; the less work you would need to put into rejuvenating its nutrients to support your planting.

“With me here, your scouts will have vegetables again. Ask the Military Police,” you added.

Although you weren’t particularly proud of it, a lot of your efforts first benefited the Military Police Brigade and the wealthy behind Wall Sina. The upper echelon wasn’t starving, but they were uncomfortable enough to be generous backers as you developed your work over the past five years. It was, in part, thanks to their affluence, that vast numbers of towns and villages behind Walls Rose and Sina had lettuce (among other vegetation) and a new surplus of potatoes.

Erwin took a moment to mull over your words— the line of logic, the authority in your voice. You had one last appeal. Pathos.

“You are a visionary, Commander Erwin,” you continued. “Without you, Eren Yeager would have been a prisoner of the state—his full strategic potential unrealized. Please. All I ask for is an opportunity.”

Erwin’s serious expression softened. He inspected you like you did your experiments: equal parts curiosity and hope. Your words resonated with him. “You must comply with your training. To maximize our time, you will train under our very best, Captain Levi.“

“Yes!” You tried to maintain your composure, but you couldn’t help the exuberant smile your face split into. You cleared your throat. “Yes. Thank you, Commander.”

Erwin faltered as if he didn’t expect you to be so enthused about training rigorously under the infamously strict and solemn squad Captain Levi Ackerman.

“You do understand that you could die, Y/n?” He asked, causing you to tilt your head. Of course you considered the possibility. Survey Corps expeditions had only slightly more than a 50% mortality rate. It wasn’t a vacation— you’ve seen the carnage first-hand, having treated several of the wounded, amputees, blunt force trauma victims, and more.

“Yes. Of course. I’ve already informed my parents.” You were fortunate enough that they were alive and safe within Wall Rose, but the announcement didn’t come without tears. They were your only family. Although you were 29, you were unmarried and childless because you’ve always thrown your life into your studies.

“All right,” Erwin stood from his seat, and you did the same. He couldn’t have any further reason to question you. Your personal life was none of his concern.

“With that settled, then I suppose, welcome to the Survey Corps, Doctor.” He said meaningfully, extending his hand towards you once more. You gave it an eager shake, trying your best to ground yourself and truly think about the work and struggle that you were signing on for.

“Thank you, Commander,” you grinned reverently. “I will report to headquarters by the end of the week.” You closed the door on the way out.

[zhongster]

Levi burping headcanons?

i saw that you were taking requests!! do you happen to have any other HC’s for levi ackerman or erwin smith? i need more AOT content !! <3

Hello darling I’ve done headcanons for levi and Erwin in the past if you’re interested in those as well :)

THIS IS KINK CONTENT, DNI IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT

LEVI:

I feel like once the new Levi squad is formed and comfortable operating as a cohesive squad he’d let his guard down a bit more

Especially in the days when they were lowkey on the run

They would’ve been living in pretty inconvenient and close quarters

Bro isn’t gonna have much choice or control of when where and who he burps in front of

I still don’t think he’d be particularly embarrassed or ashamed of it but he does try to mind his manners

Contrary to popular belief I also don’t believe he much cares when any of the cadets burp in front of him (he’ll smack Hange if they do it but that’s Hange

So long as they don’t do it an an inappropriate time in front of someone who WOULD care he doesn’t even acknowledge it

He has been known to nod in approval when they excuse themselves though

ERWIN:

I’m fully obsessed with the idea of him having grandpa burps

I genuinely think it’s so funny

I sorta mentioned that (dad burps) in the other headcanon post for him and Levi

Like idek how to describe that it’s truly just a vibe i get from him

For sure on the more embarrassed side despite not outwardly showing as much

He tends to get really quiet after he slips up and lets one out

If it’s a really big and/or disruptive one sometimes he’ll find an excuse to vacate the room altogether

He spends a lot of time talking in meetings and such too so i feel like he ends up swallowing a lot of air

And it gets stuck in his chest and just feels like an oppressive weight on top of his sternum

He gets pretty uncomfortable when this happens but it beats the alternative (burping in front of another human soul)

[erurivacayzine]

🧳 The Crew of Paradis(e) 🧳

Dear Passengers, we are proud to introduce the incredible Flight Attendants for Erwin & Levi's flight to Paradis(e) ✈️

This talented crew is going to bring EruRi to the best vacations imaginable! Meet them below! 🛬

🎨 Page Artists 🖌️

*Tumblr (or Twitter) handles below*

_XP_D

meenoush_

@say-lon-i

knightofcups_x

Leverwings

selfships_in_SP

bluepixel_png

@themercvrio

@haedraulics

kuuvaiti

LewajAgejman

Arizawasan

@ackermantihora

risstheartiste

dafinelle

Kikkake09

0023atn

@seitsen-sarvi

_DoubleRat

enneiav

kurooscomet

grave_secrets

@cattableabby

🎨 Merch Artists 🖌️

*Tumblr (or Twitter) handles below*

@haedraulics

@zorthania

julpux

weelittlelevi

@seitsen-sarvi

rubimlp6

kuuvaiti

📃 Writers 🖊️

*Tumblr (or Twitter) handles below*

sonderlivra

masksarehot

rodio_se_mis

Mayuka_Ishida

erurinsfw

levi_2497

classyboquetcat

itsfaer

@sleepymim

@lostcauses-noregrets

damnchou

arrestzelle

raven_eruri

@rooksacrifice

DrButtonsss

💺 First Class Flyers 🔖

Erwin Smith

Levi Ackerman

🤍.

[lady-lauren]

Orale, let’s do it. 1, 12, 46.

1: Who are your comfort characters?

It’s been many many years of cycling characters in ye old brain, but I think for comfort I always cycle back to Madara Uchiha from Naruto and Erwin Smith from AoT!

12: What kind of day is it?

It’s rained all day so I’ve been very lethargic, snuggling with the cat all afternoon

46: Favorite holiday film?

Oooo this is actually a hard one. I’ll say National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation bc I used to watch that a lot with the fam 💕

weird ask game ❤️

[blis00ya]

erwin and zoe's families

disclaimer: yes, until i find a picrew that satisfies me for my OCs, my filipino actors and a british actress remain their faces.

hange family

the filipino drama Legal Wives was the biggest inspiration for this family hence the actors/characs as my OCs' faces (these aren't their characs' names). i was also exploring islam during this time hence my decision to make them a muslim family (but zoe doesn't really practice it).

ZACKLEY

i chose zackley as the father bcs they both have Z as initials, wear glasses, and authority figures. i also decided to make him greek to honor zoe's seemingly canon half/full greek race.

ZAINA (zey-nah)

i've always envisioned their mother to have a strict demeanor with an intimidating face and irma adlawan suits her so much. i decided to make her palestinian because i've always HC zoe as half-arab too but i felt most comfy with the latter.

she was the one who pursued zackley after a vacation in his home country.

XERXES (ser-ses)

the reliable and dependable big brother whom zoe runs to whenever their parents (esp their mom) force or reprimand her, he softens the blow and protects her. as a child, he prayed for a sibling and all of what he asked for manifested in zoe so he has a particular soft spot for her. he recites in their local masjid, the favorite of both their parents.

i got his name from a random list of names starting with x, but alfred vargas had always been his face, when i saw him while watching the drama, i went "fuck yeah, that's xerxes".

ZOE

the intelligent and curious middle child and the root of all their mother's stress. their father's favorite because she reminds him of his messy and carefree days, so he gives her all the space she needs. a bit careless and naive, it worries their mother but zoe is the only one she entrusts with her pharmacy business.

CECIL (che-chil)

the cheeky, smart, modest youngest sister whom zoe is protective of the way xerxes is to her. she came as a surprise but she's the one who completed the family. unlike the social butterfly xerxes and talkative zoe, cecil mostly keeps to herself and her books and has a great interest and faith in their religion, making her their mother's favorite. but she will always side with zoe no matter the situation.

i named her after one of my close mutuals from aottwt, and shayne sava's portrayal of her character (well-spoken and elegant) sits just so right with me and fits cecil (my oc) well.

i did say zoe has a big family and i mean it, im still contemplating if ill add the original family tree i made for the hange fam since it has atla characs in it; but in my longest-standing lore, it was mike who's the closest cousin they have but i get so stressed thinking of the family he has so i cant add him in the fam tree even if hes still a cousin

smith family

i've always had the names edward and victoria as the names of erwin's parents, also since we really didn't get a name for erwin's dad. the face for victoria's mom was from the indian movie Lagaan (which i so love btw). nanaba was kinda a last-minute addition for this hc just bcs i suddenly realized having erwin as an only child isn't quite realistic to me even if the whole HC is utopian as fuck.

EDWARD

a half-german/half-british professor and businessman who suddenly found himself in a not-so arranged marriage with the only heir of a big company in UK.

VICTORIA

when i saw how rachel shelley was, well, accordingly styled in the movie considering it's a historical one, and how her charac had a strong look on her face yet very sweet and lovely when she smiles, it's already very fitting with how i envision erwin's mom.

an englishwoman who fell in love with edward at first sight while she was doing a university tour.

ERWIN

the serious and brave eldest brother who was already tasked to inherit the family business, their parents believed they were blessed with him as their son because he wholeheartedly accepted his role as an heir at a very young age. the typical everything he does is for the family. almost the exact carbon copy of their father.

NANABA

the troublesome and outgoing youngest sister whom erwin can't seem to discipline so they always clash but she's let go easily as she's their mother's favorite. erwin eventually allowed her to lead some subsidiaries that are in her strongest suit.

adding her is also very natural to me since i've had numerous HCs where the two of them are either siblings or cousins.

[brilium]

➳❥│K I N K T O B E R 2 0 2 3 ♡

Yooooo, this is the first time ever that I participate on this since I started writing, I’m so exciteddd! ♡ I really want to complete it but if I don’t I’ll make sure to post them later:)

My main fandoms rn are Jujutsu Kaisen and Attack on Titan, I thought about adding Chainsawman but I need to re-read it all the manga for accuracy 😩

♡ D I S C L A I M E R ‼️‼️

⤷This is obviously about to contain mature content, minors do not interact or you'll be blocked:) This goes also for ageless blogs so put it on your blog pls.

⤷If you don't like this kind of stuff, just ignore it and keep scrolling or block me ♡

⤷SatoSugu and Eren are my soft pookies, so there might be more of them in the list, sorry. I need to write about them a lot to live 😩

♡ M A S T E R L I ST ♡

❥DAY 1. Filming! with Suguru Geto

╰┈➤Summary. Starting to sell content online is giving you a good source of money and, maybe, meeting with one of your mutuals might bring a good content for your account.

❥DAY 2. Voyeurism! with Mikasa Ackerman

╰┈➤Summary. Your organized roommate hates your messy ways to live but, a little mistake with the closet door might lead her to break those walls on her.

❥DAY 3. Camgirl! with Eren Jaeger

╰┈➤Summary. Eren got you a tulip necklace on your birthday, one that you never take off, not even during your livestreams on a secret site at night. And Eren could recognize that necklace anywhere.

❥DAY 4. Car Sex! with Toji Fushiguro

╰┈➤ Ok, I'll be honest, I wrote it but I didn't liked it JKDDJKH. So I'll post it when I've finished the list lol

❥DAY 5. Clothes on! with Jean Kristein

╰┈➤Summary. You're a pain in the ass for Jean, and for you? He's a nuisance before meeting up with Eren for a hook up. Fortunately, the two best students of Dr. Smith are smart (or horny) enough to find a middle point where they can do more than fighting.

❥DAY 6. Cheating! with Satoru Gojo

╰┈➤Summary.Your boyfriend, hated by all your friends, turns you down again on a dinner that you planned for weeks and Satoru shows up at a bar to wash away all your worries like he always does.

❥DAY 7. Size Kink! with Reiner Braun

╰┈➤Summary. Attending to the gym is tiring. And in the morning shift? Worse. But the fat crush on your coach makes it lighter for you. One day, you decide to take the risk to finally make a move with him.

❥DAY 8. Phone Sex! with Eren Jaeger

╰┈➤Summary. A boundarie of not having sex with your hot ex-fuckboy boyfriend for a whole month is eating you from the inside and you decide that it's time to tempt him with a good night selfie.

❥DAY 9. Aphrodisiac! with Nanami Kento

╰┈➤Summary. Nanami has been dealing with a lot of stress at the office lately, and you decided to buy him a naturalist tea that it supposed to help with the stress relief. It seems to help with stress in a very particular way...

❥DAY 10. Deep Throat! with Toji Fushiguro

╰┈➤Summary. Megumi got in a fight for the third time in the month, and his father had to attend with Megumi's teacher to talk about his behavior. Toji finds her hot and annoying. Maybe there's one way to fix his annoyance by hearing her yell.

❥DAY 11. Thigh Riding! with Erwin Smith

❥DAY 12. Caught Sex! with Suguru Geto

╰┈➤Summary. One of Suguru's co-workers keeps trying to flirt with him even though she knows that he's dating you and you sneak out on the changing rooms to show her how to strike back properly.

❥DAY 13. Toys! with Armin Arlet

❥DAY 14. Witch! Reader (Medieval AU) with Eren Jaeger

╰┈➤Summary. You’ve been calmly living in the heart of the forest since people started to believe in stupid rumors of witches. When you cross paths with a hurt man hunting, you give him a hand and turns your small wooden house into a hotter place.

❥DAY 15. Morning Sex! with Porco Galliard

╰┈➤Summary. Marcel brought his not anymore little brother to the beach vacation, you thirsty in the morning might lead you to let your morning desires lead you.

❥DAY 16. Public Sex! with Satoru Gojo

╰┈➤Summary. Satoru Gojo has an arranged marriage since before his birth, and today is the day to impress each other’s family before the wedding preparations start but you both don’t seem so excited for it so you find the way to go with it through the thin paper walls.

❥DAY 17. Breeding Kink! with Nanami Kento

❥DAY 18. Shower Sex! with Levi Ackerman

❥DAY 19. Roleplay! with Suguru Geto

❥DAY 20. Girls Night! with Shoko Ieri and Utahime Iori

❥DAY 21. Succubus! with Armin Arlert

╰┈➤Summary. Eren is being a headache talking about having weird dreams and sleep paralysis, Armin always ignores his blabbering, but when he wakes up in the middle of the night with a weight on his lap, he starts to questionate himself.

❥DAY 22. Hate Sex! with Sukuna’s True Form

❥DAY 23. Costumes! with Eren Jaeger

❥DAY 24. Gloryhole! with Toji Fushiguro

❥DAY 25. Make Up Sex! with Satoru Gojo

❥DAY 26. Face Sitting! with Porco Galliard

❥DAY 27. Overstimulation! with Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto

❥DAY 28. Office Sex! with Nanami Kento

❥DAY 29. Somnophilia! with Jean Kristein

❥DAY 30. Gangbang! with Eren Jaeger, Jean Kristen and Connie Springer

Divider by: benkeibear

[soldiersscream]

he wouldn't enter the room until he was asked to come inside. gently knocking on the door twice. he hoped that his visit was alright, but he would understand if erwin had rather keith leave again.

once inside, keith shut the door behind him carefully, then turned to his former comrade. "they told me that you were asleep." said keith. "i figured that that would be the perfect opportunity to come see you." a little tease like the ones he would blurt out as a commander back in the day. erwin rarely slept when keith was around. in fact, he couldn't remember ever seeing this man sleep at all. a habit he figured he might have adopted from his very own commander.

keith felt guilty.

"i... don't really know what to say. i think 'how are you' is futile, given your situation." this man had just lost an arm after all. there was nothing about it that would call for a positive answer to that question. "and you don't want me to pity you either. so you won't hear me say that i am sorry for what happened to you. you have my word."

yet, there was an urge inside of keith to say SOMETHING. ANYTHING. anything at all that would tell the other just how much value he had to his former commander. "..." but keith just didn't know what to say. he walked up to erwin's bed and sat down. seeing him so vulnerable was like a bad dream. erwin smith. the protégé of his entire squad. a remarkable cadet. even more remarkable squad leader. defeated by a titan.

"so..." said keith eventually, sighing. "...what are you planning to do now? i take it you won't give up the goal to reclaim wall maria?" no, he didn't think of erwin as the weak type at all. this man wouldn't let a missing arm stop him from his cause. keith was sure of it. hearing about the scout's plans had him leave the training ground for an extended vacation - he was still unsure whether to return in the first place. "you won't be able to ride a horse like that that's for sure..."

@keith-shadis || Unannounced

Erwin thought he was finally alone. Hanji and Levi had only just left his side. Hanji was off to see Connie's mum, and Levi headed back to update others on his situation and to appoint himself a new squad. He loved them both, appreciated their concern and help, but sometimes he just needed to be on his own. Even the nurses had told him to get some rest. But despite the quiet in his hospital bed, Erwin couldn't slip into sleep, he wasn't even trying when his door opened again to show his old friend.

"Keith" Erwin waved him in, a small smile on his face as he shuffled and sat up against the headboard. The stubble around his jaw, his hair unkept, it was a far sight from the well groomed soldier Keith had passed over the Commander title to. But Keith hadn't changed. There was still that sad look in his eyes, the scent of guilt that followed him, even as he pointed out the obvious.

Erwin gave a small nod in appreciation, glad to not hear another person tell him they're sorry about his arm. It was his own fault. A mistake that he should have been aware of. But at least he knew the scouts had enough sense to continue on the attack and not pause to save him. It filled him with hope for them.

"Maria is still our main focus" he confirmed, glad for the distraction of the pain, to discuss the plan for the future, "But Hanji has come back with some news that you wouldn't have heard yet. It's a good job you're sitting" he spoke and decided to fill Keith in with the latest theory of their smart friend. He started from when he had met up with Hanji on the wall, where she had told him of the three other shifters within the 104s.

"Braun, Hoover, and a girl called Ymir" he explained, looking at Keith to see if he had any idea of their secrets. He had to tell him about their next move, to overthrow the government, but for now, he needed to let Keith know.

[bachirasbodyguard]

wooohoo thank you!!! This is fun, I like tag games like this because I feel like I get to learn a lot about people whose icons I stare at every day.

Last song: Tupelo Honey

Song stuck in head: Summertime Sadness (because of a very sad and well-made Levi Ackerman edit I saw on Twitter lol)

Favourite colours: Black, that specific greyish-purplish blue the sky gets when it's late and very cloudy, and silver.

Currently watching: JJK Season 2 (Holy fucking christ, yesterday's episode was so great), HBO's "Barry", and "My New Boss Is Goofy" (this anime is so fucking cute and nice and funny. it restored my humanity and kindled my bonfire. watch it 🫵).

Currently reading: Vagabond, Blue Flag, Komi Can't Communicate, & a Tom Waits biography

Currently craving: a vacation (christ, i haven't had one in a year) & iced tea

Last movie: Coppola's "Dracula"

Sweet, spicy or savory: All of them!

Current obsession: Blue Lock, of course, baybeyy :3, and arknights, I guess. Also, the AoT finale re-awakened something in me, so for today... also Erwin Smith.

Three favourite foods: Kinder chocolate, lasagna, watermelon

Last thing googled: pointing emoji

Dream trip: Argentina (esp. Iguazu Falls because of a scene in my favorite film), Japan, New Zealand

Anything you want right now: prev -> "bllk 240 leaks". SAME. Also, also a nap. I just want this week to end faster and for my colleague to return to work because I'm tired of doing her job :'3

mmmmm tagging @marcsnuffy @alientiime @variabels *3*

Tag Game

thank you for the tag~ @izamami

• Last Song: Paranoia by Heartsteel

• Song stuck in head: Paranoia by Heartsteel.

• Favorite color(s): Black and White

• Currently watching: Jujutsu Kaisen

• Currently reading: Nothing

• Currently craving: Pizza

• Last movie: Five Night at Freddy's ugh D;

• Sweet, spicy or savory: Sweet

• Relationship status: Single

• Current obsession: Videogames

• Three favorite foods: Pizza, completos (chilean hot dogs) and french fries

• Last thing googled: Hoar dnd

• Dream trip: Countryside japan

• Anything you want right now: Play dnd

I'm tagging: @oo-mi-ru-oo @rorrronoa @rorronoa @ghvsts @glykodrist @lostkunai @reaxzs @lizzieonka @4lchemilla @iamryrito @tiburonc1n @flderwin @oddly-wir3d @the-forceawakens