#v. ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʀɴ. // fandomless

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; "i never considered myself tough."

an eyebrow quirks up, eyeing the girl up and down in silence for a beat. before the ever so eloquent, "you're fucking kidding, right?" affection softens the sharp words, as does the following scoff. arms fold across her chest as she draws herself up to her full height. (which, really, isn't much.) "you're entering a bloodbath of a playing field, chasing a dream that most people wouldn't think to even try. and you're doing it by baring your heart to the cold, cruel world. don't know, sav, that sounds pretty tough to me. credit where credit is due, dude."

[sosagely]

[ imessage : little drummer girl 🥁 ] is everything an option? [ imessage : little drummer girl 🥁 ] kidding! [ imessage : little drummer girl 🥁 ] mostly [ imessage : little drummer girl 🥁 ] appreciate the effort [ imessage : little drummer girl 🥁 ] at least you tried [ imessage : little drummer girl 🥁 ] more than most people can say

@sosagely KARA SAGE SAID: [ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you tried :/ it was endearing in a what the hell is wrong with you sort of way

[ sms ]: the question a lot of people have of me, what /is/ wrong with me, who knows

[ sms ]: well i would have never known if i never tried, gotta try everything once, right?

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; [Text] I... think you sent that to the wrong person.

[ imessage : savvy superstar 🌟 ] no, i didn't [ imessage : savvy superstar 🌟 ] they're having a flash sale but i can't decide [ imessage : savvy superstar 🌟 ] need your oh so impeccable judgement [ imessage : savvy superstar 🌟 ] plunge, or push-up? or the lace?

[sosagely]

@wastrels asked ; [ 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 ] : sender has harmed someone who threatened the receiver.

kara's no stranger to danger. she's gotten herself into more than her fair share of trouble: growing up alone && angry often meant finding out how far she could push the thin line between adventurous and reckless. there's very little that rattles her nowadays.

but this guy ... this guy just might. he very clearly doesn't know when to take no for an answer. he keeps blathering on, inching closer, leering at her with an underserved level of arrogance. kara's trying to reign in that infamous temper, but given the only time she ends up in these seedy bars is when she's running from her own emotions ... well this guy is playing with fire. after one too many lewd comments, kara snaps. she throws her drink in his face. he stumbles to his feet, outraged, hand flying high ...

and in a flurry of unexpected movement, he's out cold.

kara's confusion lasts all of two seconds, before a familiar face drains the tension in her shoulders. ❝ ren! ❞ of course it's her favorite bartender, coming to the rescue like some knight in shining armor. her lips quirk up in an easy grin. ❝ i totally had that handled, you know. ❞ NO, SHE DIDN'T. ❝ where have you been hiding? i haven't seen you around in like, forever. ❞

[sosagely]

@lovehorr0r gets a thing just because !

her hand hesitates over the unfamiliar door, heart leaping into her throat while her stomach does somersaults. FUCK. she hates this. hates feeling so fucking out of place with the one person who made sense weeks ago. echoes of their fight ricochet in her head. maybe this is a mistake. maybe she should just leave things be: disappear. she should be GOOD at that. it's in her blood, isn't it? her hand drops, and she starts turning away from the door.

NO.

she's quick to whirl around, knocking against the door before she can chicken out. she shifts uncomfortably. the second the door swings open, the words explode out. ❝ you were right. about ... about everything. you were right, okay? it was shitty. I WAS SHITTY. there's no excuse for that. and i know ... know it doesn't fix anything, but i'm sorry. i'm so fucking sorry. for all of it. ❞

there's a familiar sting of tears in her eyes. she's quick to turn her head & press the heels of her palms against them until static fills her vision. she takes a shaky breath in. once she feels calmer (and mildly light-headed) she exhales it in one woosh. ❝ we both know this ... this isn't working.❞ her voice catches in her throat. ❝ i know i gave you shit for moving out but ... but maybe you were right. you need to get away from what's hurting you. and that's all i am right now. ❞ just like always, just like always, just like always. she digs her pocket and holds something up: A KEY. their key. offered meekly, as she looks anywhere else. ❝ i uh, i got an internship. a few states away. i wasn't going to take it but ... but now i think ... maybe ... maybe its for the best if i- ❞ her voice cracks, and she shrugs listlessly. ❝ i packed my shit. i leave in a week. the lease is already paid through the end of the year. move back in. or sublet it. or whatever. it's yours. the whole town is. ❞

it hurts, more than anything ever has. the tears trickle down and she tries to subtlety wipe them away. ❝ you're going to be a star. you're so fucking talented, emma. seriously. you're going to take over the world, someday. i'll get out of your way so that can happen. ❞

[sosagely]

A low whistle as she tilts her head, trying to see if different angles make it look better. They don't. Kara grimaces. “For future references, you could just call when you need something balance related. Avoid ... all of this.” She's too tired to press more than that, buying the lie without a second glance. “You don't feel dizzy or nauseous, do you? The last thing you need is a concussion. They fucking suck.”

She gives a scoff, hoisting herself to sit on the counter with practiced ease. Her smile doesn't drop, but her eyes dim. “What? A girl can't go on side quests anymore?” Ignoring the fact she disappeared without any warning. After a beat of silence, she adds a softer, “Got pulled into some family stuff. Nothing important.”

@sosagely sent: what the fuck happened to you? karolina & leo.

“Nice to see you too.” There’s a pack of ice held against her forehead; her bottom lip sucked back into her mouth to clean the blood off it. She looks absolutely awful, can’t blame Karolina for the abrasive question. “I was trying to hang a painting and fell off a ladder.” A sheepish grin, though it hurts. “We both know I suck at keeping my balance.” It’s a lie, she just hopes it’s good enough.

“What about you?” A lift of her brows as she sets the ice pack down to melt across the counter. “I thought I was going to have to put out a missing persons report or something on you."

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; [ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 ] : sender has just asked receiver "why don't you love me".

oh.

the words shoot through her like a hot knife through butter, the hurt bleeding her expression. her mouth opens and closes, but no sound can squeeze past the sudden lump in her throat. she takes a hesitant step toward sav, hand outstretched, but halfway through she stumbles back cradling her hand to her body as if she'd been burned.

❝ what? ❞

her voice comes out in a croak. in any ordinary situation, she'd be embarrassed by how pathetic it sounds. but the ringing in her ears drowns out everything else. why don't you love me? why don't you love me? why don't you love me?

❝ sav, i don't ... you ... of course i ... ❞

the words continually get bunched up in her throat, tangling together into an incomprehensible mess. FUCK. kara always knew she was terrible at ... at this. at loving and being loved. she'd lived her entire life with baited breath and tensed muscles, snarling and snapping like a cornered dog to chase off everyone before she had a chance to care about them as some twisted form of control: after all, you can't be abandoned if you never belonged in the first place.

but sav ... sav was different. since the very beginning, savannah was different. kara tried. she softened every jagged edge. she tore down her walls brick by brick. she learned and memorized and ... and ...

and it wasn't enough.

at the end of the day, she's still little girl raised with bloody knuckles and broken glass. if her closest friend couldn't feel the gravitational weight of her feelings then maybe ... the tears bubble up, hot and fast, no matter how hard she fights to push them down. MAYBE SHE JUST WASN'T MEANT FOR THIS.

❝ i'm sorry. ❞

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; [ apology ] a kiss offered as a way to apologize or make amends

❝ ugh, you are the WORST. ❞ red lips pulled into a pout, brow over glistening blue eyes furrowed. dramatic much? she hmphs, chin landing on her open palm with flourish. ❝ it's so cold and lonely here. WOE IS ME. neglected for your ART. i'm sitting here, withering away, forgotten and— ❞

the kiss, probably born of exasperation, brings her theatrics to a halt. warmth sparks to life in her chest, shooting down her spine and leaving her light-headed. she chases sav's lips as she pulls away, mood noticeably brightened. a breathless giggle bubbles up. ❝ okay, okay, you're forgiven. i guess. ❞

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; “You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

the voice startles her, jarring her out of her thoughts. her back goes ramrod straight as her head snaps to the side, but most of the tension bleeds away as soon as she realizes who spoke.

still, if she looks half as terrible as she feels ... well it wouldn't make for a pretty picture. her shoulders rise and fall in a listless shrug. ❝ not tired. ❞ no witty remark, no cheeky comment, no semblance of kara in her response.

❝ can't sleep. ❞ not when every time she closes her eyes recently, there's a montage of worst-case scenarios burned into the backs of her eyelids.

[sosagely]

"you've got one around here somewhere, i've got two sitting on the table. just seems a little counterintuitive to getting this done..." but still, she watches his frantic search with something bordering amusement. tap. tap. tap. the tip of the previously offered pen dances out a rhythm against the papers on the table. as another crayon breaks his resolve, she tilts the pen towards him again with a headshake. "positive. i am drowning in pens. my roommate has about a dozen in every color imaginable. really, you're doing me a favor here."

keep   it.   i   have   more   where   that   came   from.   ⸺   @sosagely

“i  know  i've  got  some  around  here  somewhere,  i'll  find  one  eventually…"  hard  maybe  on  that.  things  have  a  tendency  to  go  missing  and  never  be  seen  again  around  that  house  ⸺  especially  things  as  dispensable  as  a  working  pen.  he's  more  likely  to  find  ten  more  that'll  only  scratch  another  hole  in  his  notebook  than  one  that  actually  works,  but  upon  pulling  yet  another  broken  crayon  out  of  the  junk  drawer  he's  searching  he  gives  up.  reaches  for  the  one  being  offered  to  him,  but  of  course  he  has  to  ask,  “you  sure  you  don't  want  it  back?”  it's  a  damn  pen,  wes.

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked : ❝ you need someone. let me be that person. let me be what you need. ❞

❝ don't. don't uh, i can't ... i need—❞

words fail, again and again. they bottle-nosed in the hollow of her throat, fighting to come out until they all faded away and leave behind an odd keening noise. kara knows the offer is a genuine plea and that makes it so much worse. it's a HOT KNIFE through a rib cage made of butter, the final chip shattering an emotional dam.

SHE'S COMING APART.

❝ i don't need anyone! i can't need anyone, because when i need someone it just means that they—❞

her jaw clamps shut violently, the taste of copper overwhelming as teeth dig into her tongue. the heels of her hands press against her eyes until static erupts behind her eyelids. but it's no use; neither tactic can stop the tears from bubbling over.

❝ when i need someone, they leave. and i can't ... i can't ...❞

i can't lose you.

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; “You’re going to get yourself killed rushing in for me like that.”

❝ wow, sav, really unique way of saying THANK YOU. ❞ her grumbling is a bit more breathy than normal, ribs aching in protest of the effort speaking takes. she's going to be so sore tomorrow. right now adrenaline numbs most of it, heart racing like a hummingbird at the hollow of her throat as bruised knuckles flex. it isn't the first time shows have gotten a little rowdy. it isn't the first time kara's tackled someone who made a rush for the stage. it is, however, the first time it was really a struggle. she's beyond grateful for savannah's success. really she is! unfortunately, it's had some unforeseen caveats. like, obsessed fans who are apparently on some fucking super soldier serum. ❝ are YOU alright? ❞

after a few more pained breaths, she manages to work up a half smile. it still hurts like a bitch but the relief outweighs. ❝ you might have to start adding in a no bodybuilders clause. if venues can follow other people's only green m&ms rules, i'm sure they can work some magic on that. seriously. like is it just me, or does he look like he could bench press CAPTAIN AMERICA? ❞

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; [ whisper ] while receiver sleeps (or pretends to sleep) beside them, sender whispers affectionate, reassuring things to them thinking they can't hear

kara has always been a particularly light sleeper. she's not sure what jarred her back to the land of the living at first: all she knows and that she's not in her own bed. panic trickles down her spine before she hears it. MURMURING. her sleep addled brain doesn't comprehend what's being said, but it does comprehend who's saying it.

SAVANNAH.

the tension drains out of her muscles in an instant. she shifts closer, letting out a keen whine that would MORTIFY her if she were awake enough to process it. her face presses against sav's shoulder. ❝ 's cold. ❞ a stifled yawn, pressing even closer, as a sleep addled voice mumbles out, ❝ you're warm. ❞

[sosagely]

to say kara's elated would be the understatement of the century. when the announcer calls savannah's name, kara's out of her seat in a flash. she cheers louder than she ever has in her life. she can see the excitement scrawled across sav's face, can feel the adrenaline puring off her, and it just makes kara's heart ache with unadulterated joy. there's no one who deserves it more. watching sav accept the award leaves her light-headed and giddy, clapping and cheering with a euphoric buzz.

when sav returns to the table, kara leans in close to congratulate her again, but suddenly the world implodes. sav's lips are soft and warm against her own, no doubt leaving behind a lipstick smudge like the ones littering the edges of her glass. kara FREEZES. shocked into a state of paralysis, mind going blank as her body locks up. her expression schools itself into one of complete neutrality.

the hum of the crowd snaps her out of the moment. FUCK. FUCK. no doubt there were cameras circling like vultures, and if they caught a whiff of this ... a glint out of the corner of her eye catches her attention. OF COURSE. she moves quickly, lurching forward to pull sav into a hug. she can hide the red of her lips against sav's shoulder, and tilt them to hide to panic on sav's face. after a moment she speaks, lips brushing against her best friend's shoulder with the awkward positioning. ❝ the cameras. ❞ she warns quietly, tightening her hold. ❝ don't give them a reason to talk about something other than your win, okay? ❞

when she's sure the camera's have moved onto other target, namely the shenanigans a few tables over, kara pulls back. there are so many questions circling her head. she doesn't voice a single one. it was just the BUZZ of winning, a spur of the moment decision based on adrenaline and champagne. right? her chest aches at the thought, but it's better to break her own heart than get her hopes up. ❝ you did it! ❞ the smile she forces might be muted, but the warmth in her eyes is genuine. ❝ god, i'm so proud of you, SUPERSTAR. ❞

@sosagely requested a song! - [ celebration ] a joyful and exuberant kiss to celebrate an achievement or milestone

𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐮𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫. horizion dreams won a grammy for album of the year. the moment happened so fast, vision blurred and excitement bubbled in her gut. she didn't have a speech prepared, didn't even think she would have made it here. hugs are exchanged with both kara and jay before making her way up to the stage.

once she returns to the table they are seated at, the smile kara has warms whatever ice had found its way into her heart in the last few years of her career. ❝ i did it! ❞ savannah beams before pulling the other woman closer and placing a passionate kiss to her lips. her iconic red lips, leaving a stain on kara's.

that is the least of her worries as she pulls away, eyes wide. oh god. what did she just do? that was supposed to just stay in her head but in the heat of her excitement she just went for it. she hadn't tried to make a move on kara since their sophomore year of college... and while the blonde may be her muse, its never been expressly stated out loud... and now she just kissed kara in front of all these people. savannah just prayed it wasn't on tv, too.

too afraid to speak, aqua eyes just search her best friend's face for any sort of sign. anger, happiness, sadness, literally any emotion would do.

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; i feel safer when you're here.

❝ well, no duh. ❞ her eyes glitter with amusement as she knocks their shoulders together. she can't help the affection leaking into her tone. ❝ i mean, i'm like your own personal bodyguard. and with these muscles? ❞ she strikes a pose for emphasize before dissolving into giggles. ❝ okay, sorry, i couldn't take myself seriously. ❞ she's more relaxed here than she usually is. (probably because the venue is mostly empty.) her smile as she turns toward savannah is nothing short of genuine. ❝ i mean it, though. and i wouldn't miss this for the world. ❞

[sosagely]

tag drop !