#v. ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʀɴ. // fandomless

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; "i never considered myself tough."

an eyebrow quirks up, eyeing the girl up and down in silence for a beat. before the ever so eloquent, "you're fucking kidding, right?" affection softens the sharp words, as does the following scoff. arms fold across her chest as she draws herself up to her full height. (which, really, isn't much.) "you're entering a bloodbath of a playing field, chasing a dream that most people wouldn't think to even try. and you're doing it by baring your heart to the cold, cruel world. don't know, sav, that sounds pretty tough to me. credit where credit is due, dude."

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; [Text] I... think you sent that to the wrong person.

[ imessage : savvy superstar 🌟 ] no, i didn't [ imessage : savvy superstar 🌟 ] they're having a flash sale but i can't decide [ imessage : savvy superstar 🌟 ] need your oh so impeccable judgement [ imessage : savvy superstar 🌟 ] plunge, or push-up? or the lace?

[sosagely]

@wastrels asked ; [ 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 ] : sender has harmed someone who threatened the receiver.

kara's no stranger to danger. she's gotten herself into more than her fair share of trouble: growing up alone && angry often meant finding out how far she could push the thin line between adventurous and reckless. there's very little that rattles her nowadays.

but this guy ... this guy just might. he very clearly doesn't know when to take no for an answer. he keeps blathering on, inching closer, leering at her with an underserved level of arrogance. kara's trying to reign in that infamous temper, but given the only time she ends up in these seedy bars is when she's running from her own emotions ... well this guy is playing with fire. after one too many lewd comments, kara snaps. she throws her drink in his face. he stumbles to his feet, outraged, hand flying high ...

and in a flurry of unexpected movement, he's out cold.

kara's confusion lasts all of two seconds, before a familiar face drains the tension in her shoulders. ❝ ren! ❞ of course it's her favorite bartender, coming to the rescue like some knight in shining armor. her lips quirk up in an easy grin. ❝ i totally had that handled, you know. ❞ NO, SHE DIDN'T. ❝ where have you been hiding? i haven't seen you around in like, forever. ❞

[sosagely]

@lovehorr0r gets a thing just because !

her hand hesitates over the unfamiliar door, heart leaping into her throat while her stomach does somersaults. FUCK. she hates this. hates feeling so fucking out of place with the one person who made sense weeks ago. echoes of their fight ricochet in her head. maybe this is a mistake. maybe she should just leave things be: disappear. she should be GOOD at that. it's in her blood, isn't it? her hand drops, and she starts turning away from the door.

NO.

she's quick to whirl around, knocking against the door before she can chicken out. she shifts uncomfortably. the second the door swings open, the words explode out. ❝ you were right. about ... about everything. you were right, okay? it was shitty. I WAS SHITTY. there's no excuse for that. and i know ... know it doesn't fix anything, but i'm sorry. i'm so fucking sorry. for all of it. ❞

there's a familiar sting of tears in her eyes. she's quick to turn her head & press the heels of her palms against them until static fills her vision. she takes a shaky breath in. once she feels calmer (and mildly light-headed) she exhales it in one woosh. ❝ we both know this ... this isn't working.❞ her voice catches in her throat. ❝ i know i gave you shit for moving out but ... but maybe you were right. you need to get away from what's hurting you. and that's all i am right now. ❞ just like always, just like always, just like always. she digs her pocket and holds something up: A KEY. their key. offered meekly, as she looks anywhere else. ❝ i uh, i got an internship. a few states away. i wasn't going to take it but ... but now i think ... maybe ... maybe its for the best if i- ❞ her voice cracks, and she shrugs listlessly. ❝ i packed my shit. i leave in a week. the lease is already paid through the end of the year. move back in. or sublet it. or whatever. it's yours. the whole town is. ❞

it hurts, more than anything ever has. the tears trickle down and she tries to subtlety wipe them away. ❝ you're going to be a star. you're so fucking talented, emma. seriously. you're going to take over the world, someday. i'll get out of your way so that can happen. ❞

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; [ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 ] : sender has just asked receiver "why don't you love me".

oh.

the words shoot through her like a hot knife through butter, the hurt bleeding her expression. her mouth opens and closes, but no sound can squeeze past the sudden lump in her throat. she takes a hesitant step toward sav, hand outstretched, but halfway through she stumbles back cradling her hand to her body as if she'd been burned.

❝ what? ❞

her voice comes out in a croak. in any ordinary situation, she'd be embarrassed by how pathetic it sounds. but the ringing in her ears drowns out everything else. why don't you love me? why don't you love me? why don't you love me?

❝ sav, i don't ... you ... of course i ... ❞

the words continually get bunched up in her throat, tangling together into an incomprehensible mess. FUCK. kara always knew she was terrible at ... at this. at loving and being loved. she'd lived her entire life with baited breath and tensed muscles, snarling and snapping like a cornered dog to chase off everyone before she had a chance to care about them as some twisted form of control: after all, you can't be abandoned if you never belonged in the first place.

but sav ... sav was different. since the very beginning, savannah was different. kara tried. she softened every jagged edge. she tore down her walls brick by brick. she learned and memorized and ... and ...

and it wasn't enough.

at the end of the day, she's still little girl raised with bloody knuckles and broken glass. if her closest friend couldn't feel the gravitational weight of her feelings then maybe ... the tears bubble up, hot and fast, no matter how hard she fights to push them down. MAYBE SHE JUST WASN'T MEANT FOR THIS.

❝ i'm sorry. ❞

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; [ apology ] a kiss offered as a way to apologize or make amends

❝ ugh, you are the WORST. ❞ red lips pulled into a pout, brow over glistening blue eyes furrowed. dramatic much? she hmphs, chin landing on her open palm with flourish. ❝ it's so cold and lonely here. WOE IS ME. neglected for your ART. i'm sitting here, withering away, forgotten and— ❞

the kiss, probably born of exasperation, brings her theatrics to a halt. warmth sparks to life in her chest, shooting down her spine and leaving her light-headed. she chases sav's lips as she pulls away, mood noticeably brightened. a breathless giggle bubbles up. ❝ okay, okay, you're forgiven. i guess. ❞

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; “You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

the voice startles her, jarring her out of her thoughts. her back goes ramrod straight as her head snaps to the side, but most of the tension bleeds away as soon as she realizes who spoke.

still, if she looks half as terrible as she feels ... well it wouldn't make for a pretty picture. her shoulders rise and fall in a listless shrug. ❝ not tired. ❞ no witty remark, no cheeky comment, no semblance of kara in her response.

❝ can't sleep. ❞ not when every time she closes her eyes recently, there's a montage of worst-case scenarios burned into the backs of her eyelids.

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked : ❝ you need someone. let me be that person. let me be what you need. ❞

❝ don't. don't uh, i can't ... i need—❞

words fail, again and again. they bottle-nosed in the hollow of her throat, fighting to come out until they all faded away and leave behind an odd keening noise. kara knows the offer is a genuine plea and that makes it so much worse. it's a HOT KNIFE through a rib cage made of butter, the final chip shattering an emotional dam.

SHE'S COMING APART.

❝ i don't need anyone! i can't need anyone, because when i need someone it just means that they—❞

her jaw clamps shut violently, the taste of copper overwhelming as teeth dig into her tongue. the heels of her hands press against her eyes until static erupts behind her eyelids. but it's no use; neither tactic can stop the tears from bubbling over.

❝ when i need someone, they leave. and i can't ... i can't ...❞

i can't lose you.

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; “You’re going to get yourself killed rushing in for me like that.”

❝ wow, sav, really unique way of saying THANK YOU. ❞ her grumbling is a bit more breathy than normal, ribs aching in protest of the effort speaking takes. she's going to be so sore tomorrow. right now adrenaline numbs most of it, heart racing like a hummingbird at the hollow of her throat as bruised knuckles flex. it isn't the first time shows have gotten a little rowdy. it isn't the first time kara's tackled someone who made a rush for the stage. it is, however, the first time it was really a struggle. she's beyond grateful for savannah's success. really she is! unfortunately, it's had some unforeseen caveats. like, obsessed fans who are apparently on some fucking super soldier serum. ❝ are YOU alright? ❞

after a few more pained breaths, she manages to work up a half smile. it still hurts like a bitch but the relief outweighs. ❝ you might have to start adding in a no bodybuilders clause. if venues can follow other people's only green m&ms rules, i'm sure they can work some magic on that. seriously. like is it just me, or does he look like he could bench press CAPTAIN AMERICA? ❞

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; [ whisper ] while receiver sleeps (or pretends to sleep) beside them, sender whispers affectionate, reassuring things to them thinking they can't hear

kara has always been a particularly light sleeper. she's not sure what jarred her back to the land of the living at first: all she knows and that she's not in her own bed. panic trickles down her spine before she hears it. MURMURING. her sleep addled brain doesn't comprehend what's being said, but it does comprehend who's saying it.

SAVANNAH.

the tension drains out of her muscles in an instant. she shifts closer, letting out a keen whine that would MORTIFY her if she were awake enough to process it. her face presses against sav's shoulder. ❝ 's cold. ❞ a stifled yawn, pressing even closer, as a sleep addled voice mumbles out, ❝ you're warm. ❞

[sosagely]

@bejewe13d asked ; i feel safer when you're here.

❝ well, no duh. ❞ her eyes glitter with amusement as she knocks their shoulders together. she can't help the affection leaking into her tone. ❝ i mean, i'm like your own personal bodyguard. and with these muscles? ❞ she strikes a pose for emphasize before dissolving into giggles. ❝ okay, sorry, i couldn't take myself seriously. ❞ she's more relaxed here than she usually is. (probably because the venue is mostly empty.) her smile as she turns toward savannah is nothing short of genuine. ❝ i mean it, though. and i wouldn't miss this for the world. ❞

[sosagely]

tag drop !