#v; sorting out fair play throughout the universe. ( main )

[heartsdefine]

(spritzing her with water) don't eat that.

        “...i'm just trying to find the nearest little shop!” 

[seriouslyaliens]

       “Find your room okay, then?” The Doctor smiles, happy to have Jack on the TARDIS again. “They get shuffled around a bit depending on who’s here. I assume she knew you were coming and brought it up front again?” 

@timeagxnt​ — call.

[heartsdefine-a]

@youmoveon​: I was merely borrowing it! // 13 

       “It doesn’t count as borrowing if I’ve got to chase y’down to get it back.” 

[asterbi]

so I finished sally face

SALLY FACE SPOILERS (INCLUDING EPISODE 5) AHEAD

I played through the entire game two days ago (i had already watched both jacksepticeye's and gloomgames' lets plays for the first four episodes) and yeah, I know I'm a week and a bit late late, but I have some thoughts

Also I’m so sorry for how long this is, I know no one cares but I just started rambling and I couldn’t stop

First of all, criticism:

I'm getting real fucking tired of "ooOOooOOOoo a native american myth so scary and otherworldly" like dude shut the fuck up that's disrespectful as

Also (and please correct me if I'm wrong) I'm like 99% sure that the native american myth in question isn't real which. is somehow even worse

He buried his gays (tbh I wasn't that annoyed at this one because 1) at least one of the gays lived and 2) he buried pretty much everyone else too but I feel like it had to be said)

Now. Let me preface this by saying I loved travis' redemption, which I'll get more into later. However, I really didn't like the fact that travis' character played into the whole 'homophobes are gay' thing, which is a uhhhh vaguely problematic trope

The ending was unsatisfying. I'll get more into it in a sec

Larry was one of my favourite characters, and I know he's a fan favourite too. Considering the fact that he is a main character and he's been given a lot of attention and development, having him disappear at the end without any explanation and barely a reunion or a goodbye was an asshole move.

I would have loved to see some more worldbuilding and lore, especially getting into what exactly the red eyes plague did, why the cult wanted to summon red eyes, how the whole replacement thing worked, what happened with charley, and what exactly the whole mother tree thing was with larry

Ash's extremely triggering and graphic suicide. I understand this is a horror game. I understand that this sort of thing is expected and normal in horror games. But showing players imagery like that without so much as a content warning? That's not okay.

Some of the characters were left really underdeveloped. Sal and larry were great, and ash saw a lot of development in the last episode, but todd, neil, and travis, who were given a fair bit of attention as well, were pretty 2d (not so much travis, but still)

And now for things I enjoyed:

The entire game

Despite everything I said earlier, this is still one of my favourite games, and I really really loved it

Sal was a f a n t a s t i c character. 0% toxic masculinity, 12/10. I love the fact that he was so kind and calm towards everyone, even those who were rude to him, but still knew where to draw the line and wasn't a total pushover. I especially love the fact that even though he likes feminine things and wears pigtails and whatnot, he is a cishet guy. While more lgbt+ representation (particularly trans people and wlw) would've been great, I also like that the game shows that you don't have to be lgbt in order to be gnc, especially since the gnc person is both a man, and the main character, which is really uncommon. Also disabled representation!! That's really fucking awesome

Larry was also brilliant!! Loves metal, loves art, has a criminal record, cries during sappy movies, does drugs and dabbles in illegal activities, wants to go to college, is openly and unapologetically affectionate towards his friends and unafraid to tell them he loves them

Ash was not one of my favourite characters but I really love how she developed from sceptic to believer and the way she changed and faced her own problems, and to some extent had her own story (although it did rely fairly heavily on sal’s, which was :/ but then again everyone’s story relied on sal’s)

Okay so back to travis - I loved his redemption arc so much, because he was a redeemable character. I see so many characters who get redemption arcs that absolutely do not deserve them, but travis was a good person born into a horrible situation, and I’m glad they explored homophobia and abuse (although I’m not happy about the homophobes are gay thing like I said) and made him a hero at the end. I’m also glad that we got foreshadowing that it would happen, and it didn’t come totally out of left field

Speaking of which, props to steve gabry for not pulling an endgame and just throwing things in for shock value. Sal coming back in ep 5 was hinted at, travis’ redemption was hinted at, and of course the events of the first four episodes were hinted at because they were memories. Even ash and neil’s involvement in fighting the cult despite being a sceptic and someone totally ignorant about it respectively made perfect sense, and though the parallel universes thing and larry’s reappearance was a surprise, it still sort of fits with how the lore of the game works

The different game styles in episode 5 were absolutely out of this world. All of them were fantastic (although fuck you 3d sal you were Not fun to play), and I thought that was a really cool interpretation of the parallel universes thing

The writing was consistently really good throughout the whole game, and it genuinely makes you so attached to all of the characters, which makes the ending all the more upsetting

This is more personal but I really loved like. The Aesthetic of the game? It was so grungy and out there, and little things like the necrolight guitar and the super gear boy just added to this whole vibe of teenagers-trying-to-do-good-in-a-messed-up-world and I can’t explain it but it was great

The game really didn’t shy away from any aspects of horror, but it also did it in a really well written way that creeped you out without relying on random jumpscares, which was awesome. I mean they had e v e r y t h i n g - mass cannibalism, demonic rituals, cults, prophecies, murder, human sacrifices, suicide, nudity but in the creepy way not the sexy way (the random gory scene in ep 5 where neil and maple were hanging naked and dead upside down really startled me because I just didn’t expect it from this game and it just freaked me out more), aliens, creepy puppets which reminded me of dhmis, the list goes on

The main part in episode 4 where larry and sal are working together in different dimensions?? Poetic, amazing, 12/10

Final opinions: I absolutely loved the characters, the story, the general aesthetic of the game, and the art style and writing. Episode 5 was probably my least favourite episode, because I found the ending really vague and unsatisfying, although I absolutely loved all the different game styles. I also found that a lot was left vague and unanswered, and not really in a good way???? Also the representation and stuff was great (especially disabled rep, because that’s rare), but there were a few things that rubbed me the wrong way :/ Still, sally face is one of my favourite games, and I’m so sad that the series has come to an end :(

[lanamemories2]

clip clops in on horseback wearing a pointy little dunces hat n sipping frm a rly long crazy straw tht says ‘goblin’ w all of the swirls. Hlo. i’m nai n it’s rly nice to meet u all!!! 23 n she/ha pronouns. i’m one of the three admins here (cleo lazuli on the main) n i’m literally So Excited to get started i cld honestly beat my chest like caesar the ape over it. more abt lana under the cut!!! also like this or hmu if u wna plot n her pinterest is here 👺🌚 

『KRISTINE FROSETH ❙ CIS-FEMALE』 ⟿ looks like LANA JAMESON is here for HER JUNIOR year as a DANCE student. SHE is 21 years old & known to be VIVACIOUS, ALLURING, CHILDISH & IMPULSIVE. They’re living in NOLAND, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ NAI. 23. GMT. SHE/HER.

AESTHETICS: 

scalding your fingers in shower water until they glow like rudolph’s nose, cherry red gym socks tugged high and nothing else, stepping out into a cold breeze in just spaghetti strapped silk, a red lightening stripe painted over your eye like a new take on the scarlet letter, crowning each finger with a miniature raspberry, hugging a knee close to lick a stripe of fruit juice off the bruised cap, doodling penises in condensation instead of sitting still, a water pistol topped with rum and covered in glittery pin-up stickers, believable smiles that feel more like baring teeth, playing where’s waldo with your lipstick in the crowd of a party and finding red on at least six people’s mouths, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, prancing around in your underwear to a vinyl record with the curtains open. 

HISTORY:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his rich best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n victoria ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him. jst a leetle bit Fractured in its intentions.

anyway so jameson records repped a few big rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. rly troubled characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was kind of an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana asked her why shes so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door

(dissociation tw) bc of this growing up lana adopted this weird like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w noone acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. hes the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her in the zoo they called a home n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door n was always over bc he had very strict parents including a military father tht he found suffocating)

SO when caleb n tommy announced tht they’d signed up to the army lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving bt she tried not to b mad at them n made them promise theyd b safe n back as soon as possible. she even asked if they cld somehow take her w them n they were jst like :/ it doesn’t work that way luv x

(death tw, ptsd tw, grief tw, trauma tw, hospitalisation tw, drugs tw) anyway caleb ended up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed tommy die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home sans tommy bt he was never the same after tht. he’s been in and out of hospital twice nw n he’s currently dipped off the radar after starting to use. lana kind of felt like two of her brothers died out there in a way n jst like tht it wasn’t them vs the world any mre, it was jst her. she doesn’t talk abt this tho. when she feels the urge to cry she usually jst smiles

ANYWAY whew tht rly…. took a dark turn there….. chuckles nervously at hw sad lana’s life is bt it’s fine it’s all fINE!!!!!!! ok. so on a mre lighthearted note the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably Very Pretty

(trauma tw) after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

(hypersexuality tw) this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. it kind of… almost mingled w tht same feeling she used to get when she ws younger of being a ghost?? like she jst. only rly feels Real when she’s being touched

(violence tw) a mre recent point of history is her involvement w danny nielsen (an evil npc of mine who is possibly the antichrist??? pending investigation). he attended radcliffe n lived in a house w a group of guys near campus. it wsn’t a registered frat bt he essentially…ran it like one it ws kind of a weird set-up where he ws the King Of The Roost. essentially he found out tht lana n a guy called zeke slept together n he ended up beating him to near death in front of her bc his pride ws rly bruised since they were meant to be dating (if u can call it tht bc danny’s idea of dating is very Warped). ANYWAY he ws found guilty n sent to jail so it ws like Intense n a gd example of the kinds of disastrous relationships she gets herself into. perks of being a wallflower voice: We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve.

PERSONALITY:

always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones 

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. 

deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring Act tht femme fatales wear in movies w most ppl. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories

uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. 

always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops. 

she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. 

daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually ever been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

PLOTS:

exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. 

mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? 

a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other.

a fake dating plot cld b fun honestly 

someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh

an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool)

someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label

someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh

umm a good influence too mayb? 

oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. 

honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. mayb even one of the high profile kids she grew up hangin w idk. world’s our oyster fellas!

[heartsdefine]

        “I've got a time machine, Balfour! I could get you back here yesterday, if you like.” The Doctor snorted a laugh, then seemed to sober up slightly at the look on his face. “I mean, of course I'll get you back on time. Cross my hearts.” They drew an X across both sides of their chest to drive the point home. It wouldn't be the first time they made a promise that might not be keepable. "So, what do you say? Up for a little day trip to an intergalactic space station amusement park?”

Balfour frowned, thoughtful. What could go wrong? Well, actually, it was the Doctor, so lots of things could go wrong. An amusement park, though? In space? With food and rides and - whatever the fuck people bought in 3094? As reluctant as he was to believe it, there was still a part of him that yearned for something different. For the wonder. For UNIT to not be the be all, end all of what a person could see of the universe.

He just needed the right assurances.

"And you'll get me back here same day?"

[bronyinabottle]

ENDING OF THE END + THE LAST PROBLEM + SERIES END THOUGHTS

Well here we are, the final episodes of the entire series before MLP heads off into uncharted waters of an entirely new 5th generation. The future of MLP is uncertain, there’s absolutely no guarantee and I’d even say it’s inevitable that G5 even if does turn out good. Does not quite hit the same lightning in a bottle G4 did. It’ll be a hard act to follow. Especially given how well the ending was executed. For I truly believe that the two-parter is the best one since Twilight’s Kingdom and the series finale itself is the best single episode since Perfect Pear in Season 7.

Let’s get started with the two-parter first though.

THE ENDING OF THE END

I think the real genius about this two-parter is how it ties just about everything from the past 9 seasons together. Just in the first scene you get Chrysalis placing distrust between types of ponies akin to the Hearth’s Warming tale as she did in the previous Summer Sun celebration episode from this season. It takes having seen most episodes to get everything and know all the cameos. Finales are of course supposed to have some sort of payoff for a lot of things. Throughout this thoughts I may take note of many instances.

The villain team-up while it was first established in the opener can be applied to having big mentions to the finales of Season 2 (Chrysalis), Season 4 (Tirek), and Season 8 (Cozy). The few remaining villains not to be reformed or in the case of Sombra… dead.

The first big twist showing up with Grogar being Discord all this time. It’s certainly strange to have them sort of hype up Grogar only for him to turn out to be an established character and in fact on the Heroes side all along. Though I believe the logic was Discord trying to reform the three by having them experience friendship together like they almost did at the end of Frenemies. And if it failed well it’s another of his “tests” for Twilight and the others to topple over that he’s been doing on occasion since Season 4, though he probably wasn’t expecting to lose his magic amidst all that. On Grogar though, it was a bit weird that we really weren’t getting a lot much about him and even if he was actually a threat they’d have to put some sort of focus on why he’s a bigger threat then the villain team-up (And it’d either playout that the Mane 6 work with the villains once they realize that Grogar’s worse for Equestria then the villains. Though nothing indicated what Grogar plans for Equestira were that destructive, since it was simply instructing the villain trio to use teamwork to defeat the Mane 6. When in reality he was Discord trying to make that teamwork reform them in all likelihood. Like Discord said later he had good intentions, but once again his actions almost resulted in the end of Equestria as we know it just like in Twilight’s Kingdom. Albeit to be fair in Twilight’s Kingdom there was enough reason to believe that Tirek gave him something the ponies still weren’t at that time.)

Finally getting back to our ponies proper, Twilight’s first action this episode is to give Spike the role of royal adviser. You know me regarding Twilight and Spike by now, you just know I love this for all sorts of reasons. ^^

The crazy, superpowered Chaos Cozy moment was pretty funny. It’s also a great setup for something later in the two-parter that’s just as if not better.

But not long before the battle begins.Cozy heading straight for Twilight and the others with Alicorn magic. Tirek easily beating the founders of Equestria, and while she puts up the best fight out of them. Starlight still falls to Chrysalis (Though not without some pretty nice one-liners)

Result is that the rest of the Mane 6, Discord, and a magicless Celestia and Luna hold up a barricade just long enough for Twilight to teleport out as the first half of the two-parter ends.

It’s quite nice that Tirek’s first concern is with Twilight still out there. He probably remembers after the events of Twilight’s Kingdom that there’s a danger of Twilight having some sort of secret trinket or something else that will save Equestria.

Even though the situation they’re in is kind of Discord’s fault. He at least seems to still have quite a bit of cleverness that we remember from his Season 2 debut by tricking Tirek to fire off a blast he can reflect to maybe help free a pony and just so happens to free a pretty powerful one in Starlight.

The Mane 6 get to escape and get to Twilight but amidst some angst about the situation things start looking even worse as the Windigoes sense the distrust that the villain trio has placed in Equestria. It takes some convincing, but Twilight heads the charge against some pretty big odds. And a pretty clever Pinky and the Brain reference (Almost wish Chancellor Neighsay was there for that, given he was Brain’s voice actor)

I like the different ideas Chrysalis and Tirek had about the windigoes which gives an insight on what kind of villains they are. Chrysalis wants to them to stick around to break ponies of Equestria spirits where once they’re defeated by Chrysalis the ponies will have no choice but to bow to her or else she may let the Windigoes come back or something else. While Tirek doesn’t underestimate how hard they might be to control and wants to take them out right away cause they may very well be an obstacle for even an all-powerful villain. A frozen wasteland may not be as ideal to rule over as a normal defeated Equestria after all. But before they can even think of challenging the windigoes the Mane 6 have arrived to challenge the trio for the final battle.

The battle itself is well-done and funnily enough has some resemblance to a part I did in Return to Saddle Arabia where most of the Mane 6 and Spike are about to be blasted to oblivion before some kind of magic shield protects them. Granted it’s not exactly the most original idea to go with a scene where the heroes bravely face potential death before some miracle came in. But I like that a few things I’ve done in Genie Twi had something like it happen in canon.

But anyway yes, the unicorns of Equestria have came together to provide a shield. You have Neighsay, Trixie, Moondance, Tempest, Twilight’s parents, Sunburst’s Mom, and Twilight’s old Canterlot friends (Heck even Flim and Flam are helping which may be a little surprising since you’d expect them to just try to profit. Though arguably maybe they’re just going to try to use the publicity of having helped save Equestria to boost their buisness). And back behind them. Are Yaks, Changelings, Dragons and Pegasi. It’s also very clever for the Changelings to become the Main 6 to help confuse the villain trio as to where the real ones are.

And the reason they’re all here to back up? It’s all thanks to the school of friendship from Season 8 along with the Student 6 there to keep everyone together despite the attempts to divide everyone. The ultimate lesson in education helping prevent people/ponies of different kinds of places and entire species in the case of Equestria to come together. While Season 8 wasn’t the most solid season of the show, the role it plays in this finale really gives it a solid purpose that is better way of saving Equestria then the majority of the two-parters where a miracle mcguffin is used to do it. I still love Twilight’s Kingdom a lot but while I’m still deciding whether I like this two-parter more or less then that one. Ending of the End for sure has the better ending, as Twilight’s Kingdom still kind of uses a mcguffin-esque ending with the Rainbow Power which never shows up again outside of a dream sequence. The thing that saves the day is set up over like two seasons, while the Rainbow Power was generally just keys throughout random parts of Season 4. Which is still great. But the school helping is the end after having been established a while ago is a much better setup.

This was the setup from the superpowered Cozy. Pinkie getting it briefly xD Hilariously burying the depowered villain trio with a giant cupcake. While most see the comic where Pinkie was a chaos princess, I also kind of see something similar when I was introducing Genie Pinkie for Ain’t Never Had Friends Like Us.

But yeah, instead of being reformed. Tirek, Cozy, and Chrysalis will remain in stone for probably a long time. Will they get another chance someday like Discord did who was in a similar situation? Who knows, that’s likely up to fanfic authors to decide that now. There is somewhat of a controversy about this. Though given people have had enough of villains being reformed. Wish granted I guess? Though I think most of it surrounds Cozy since she is just a little filly. Unless the “Season 10” MLP comics get around to it, we won’t know Cozy’s history though so we don’t exactly know how Cozy got this way. And perhaps it’s just easier to assume she’s a born psychopath, though the sad look on her face before she’s petrified probably doesn’t help said controversy. All we can really say is, hey they weren’t reformed after all. You happy now? :V If you want a show that literally reforms every villain, I guess there’s always Steven Universe. And arguably some of those villains did much worse then any Friendship is Magic villain ever. Not to be mean to Steven Universe since I do like that show, but you do kind of have to realize they’re even more lenient on the reformations then Friendship is Magic.

With the battle over, Twilight delays the coronation for some time until Canterlot’s castle is rebuilt. And decide to take a good long break at Donut Joe’s shop. The same place they went to after the first gala the Mane 6 went to. Which is certainly a nice touch.

Overall, just a really awesome two-parter of which we haven’t seen since Season 4. Most of the ending with a bang came from this. But coming just right after, is the closing single episode. 22 minutes entirely focused on closing out the series on a happy epilogue.

THE LAST PROBLEM

Whenever there was discussion about what a series finale for the show looked like. I don’t know if there were many diverse ideas. But there were always two ideas on my mind: A timeskip that shows what the world of Equestria is like years in the future especially after we know Twilight’s a princess where she’d be at the very least Cadence sized. Or a sort of final farewell, where all 6 have their own stuff to pursuit. Which the latter became slightly muddled on somehow they’re still able to teach when some of them already have full careers. But nonetheless the Finale did kind of hit both in a way. Where yes much of the episode is about a time skip but we also get a flashback where the Mane 6 are worried about Twilight having to be in Canterlot now. With less time to spend with her friends.

I must say first of all Twilight looks pretty great Celestia-sized. It would be nice to know just how an “Alicorn puberty” works but maybe that’s a job for the “Season 10” comics. Spike’s design on the other hand seems to received mixed responses for the most part. Nonetheless, he’s a muscly dragon friendship ambassador that says he’s been trying to bring peace between a dog species (Diamond Dogs) and a cat species (Abyssinians).

Gallus is now in the Royal Guard. A showing that Equestria has truly diversified.

But anyway, we meet Luster Dawn. Someone Twilight calls her top student who sort of repeats some of Twilight’s own thoughts on friendship during the pilot. It’s a sort of history repeats cycle here going on here.

Anyway, while I still love this episode. I do have to admit there’s something I don’t quite get about the moving part. The tree of harmony gave Twilight a whole castle that’s even themed on her. If she was just going to sit at Canterlot. Why was the castle made in the first place and what will Twilight’s ponyville castle be used for? Just for when she happens to be visiting there occasionally?  Do her friends use the castle? Just a little strange to leave a castle that’s perfectly fine and even still in Ponyville for just about everything to work out. Perhaps it’s just a little much to move the capital and a way to kind of keep Ponyville to it’s roots as a generally more outdoor town with less of the royal hubbub. (Then again, because of how the Mane 6 there. So much happens because of it). I guess it’s kind of similar to why have Twilight’s castle when they could of just refurbished the old Castle that was in the Everfree. These ponies sure know how to waste perfectly good castles don’t they heh.

Anyway, we’re getting to real bittersweet part of the flashback. Twilight’s going to be the new ruler of Equestria but being in Canterlot means it’s not going to be a simple walk to see her friends any more. She hopes to see them worried about it just like her. But they seem to be handling things just fine. Unbeknownst to Twilight, they’re just hoping to make Twilight feel better despite the fact that it’s their worries that would make Twilight feel better. The 6 have a good group cry together before they realize the talk has nearly made them late for the train. They even spin past poor Starlight who had a present for Twilight which would have to be opened later. The rush however will have consequences as all the things the rest set up are getting messed up now that they’re aren’t there to head things up. The coronation has lots of things go wrong, but I wonder if at this point the population is generally used to things going wrong with the canterlot events with these 6 like with the Gala. They screw up the formal event but when it comes to saving and leading, Twilight’s done good enough for Equestria.

And now we get to seeing where the rest of Twilight’s friends are in the timeskip!

To the surprise of many, the only one 100% confirmed to be married is Pinkie. Who went with Cheese Sandwich and even had a child (There seems to be a controversy regarding the gender given Big Jim said the script says Lil’ Cheese is male despite having a filly snout and eyelashes while Josh Haber has said no gender was specified. Perhaps we should just say Lil’ Cheese is trans.. if it weren’t for the fact that always gets even worse responses from transphobics). But yeah, while I was never one to heavily ship Pinkie with a character. If I had to see her with anyone. Cheese Sandwich was one that came to mind as a great choice. (Even if we would of thought if any of the 6 were happily married it would be Rarity.) Apparently between Pinkie and Maud, the Pie sisters want someone similar to them. We know anyone that’s just as grumpy as Limestone? Or just as shy as Marble? (That isn’t Big Mac for already married reasons)

Which speaking of which Rarity comes by with some grey streaks in her mane and Tail. Looks like all that stress making dresses late at night has caught up to her heh.

Then Rainbow Dash and Applejack come in at the same time. Some are saying they are a confirmed couple buuuuut it feels like the episode plays it a little too vaguely to say that for sure. They argue like an old married couple yeah, but in all fairness. They’ve done that all series long pretty much. I hope none of you fans of Appledash get mad at me by saying it’s not exactly confirmed here but you’re as free as I am in expressing the opinion on what’s going on here. I may have seen somewhere that Appledash was originally going to be more explicitly shown, but as is we can only take what we see from the final version of the episode. You’re free to suggest they are a couple, but I think I needed more then few dialogue and looks to say that. It’s shipping fuel at the very least, but not concrete like Pinkie and Cheese. But anyway, Rainbow Dash seems to be the new captain of the Wonderbolts after assuringly Spitfire retired and AJ’s still on the farm as always.

Same with regards to the Fluttershy and Discord ship too. Though it might have a slight bigger leg to stand on then the AppleDash thing given the hint from the Angel episode a while ago and the lunchbag with cute drawn faces is there. But otherwise hard to confirm or deny either way. If you think they’re together then they are, if you think they aren’t. That’s all fair.

Anyway, the present that Starlight had was a book of memories that seems to have like enchanted photos of moments throughout the series. Which is pretty cool. Though of course Twilight doesn’t want to leave it off on just the photo album.

Before we get to the very ending, it’s probably something to cover up another slight controversy about this ep: The implication that Twilight will probably outlive her friends. Since Twilight is indeed Celestia sized now and the rest are obviously older with grey hair in the case of Rarity and bags under their eyes. It’s true that this can be saddening to think about, but it’s kind of only bad if they had like shown Twilight see their gravestones after they’ve passed to leave us all sad before the end. Where as it ends here it’s just that they’re older. I know it doesn’t exactly help to know such a future will eventually happen to Twilight. But we must remember that Faust has mentioned that Twilight taking over Celestia’s role was the way she wanted to end the series. And the staff made sure they follow a lot of what Faust wanted. There’s only 3 ways they could of adhered to “Twilight won’t outlive her friends” as said in the Meghan McCarthy tweet. Where either Twilight sacrifices herself to save Equestria from the final threat, the rest of the 6 also become Alicorns, or Twilight somehow vouches to give up her Alicornhood to become a Unicorn again. All of which have their own problems.

Twilight sacrificing herself wouldn’t be unprecedented since it’d be similar to if DBZ had ended with the Cell Saga when Goku’s sacrifice nearly defeated Cell. While Goku’s sacrifice wasn’t what defeated Cell for good, it’d still playout that the main character of the show we’ve seen grow died in a noble sacrifice. Which offers a touching ending but may be a bit of a very sour note to end on for the little girls who look up to Twilight. They’d at least have to make sure Twilight has some sort of Force Ghost type thing, but nonetheless kind of hard to really go for.

If the rest became Alicorns it sort of cheapens Twilight’s own ascension moment. Not to mention it sort of goes to “Every girl wants to be a princess!” which isn’t exactly the case. Maybe arguably things like Flurry Heart being born already kind of cheapened it. But I don’t know it’d just be weird to have like Rainbow be big while still on the wonder bolts. Or a princess Applejack doing the stuff on the farm.

And as for Twilight demoting herself, that sort of makes everything from the Magical Mystery Cure to near the end of Season 9 entirely pointless. Which for people still salty about Twilight becoming an Alicorn might enjoy, it wouldn’t for those who were just fine with Twilight being a princess. There are many areas of the show that some believe the show jumped the shark. Even I’d say the way they executed Starlight’s rise to a recurring character kind of boggled down the show for a good while. But for those who hung on after MMC, there was still plenty of fun we got from the series.

I guess besides these three options maybe you could bring up if Twilight had never become a Princess. Though before she became a Princess we never really knew for sure what Twilight was being groomed for by Celestia. Before Season 3 happened all we could see is maybe she becomes some sort of Grand Wizard ala Starswirl the Bearded after having helped Celestia bring her sister back. But advertisements for Season 3 mentioned a “true destiny” for Twilight And that’s what this was. Some of the stuff people were worried about back when MMC happened have come into fruition here. But even with the fact that there will be a flood of sadfics about when the time comes when all of Twi’s friends pass. It feels like it’s something that was coming anyway. I might be a bit biased on this front though given my own blog has Twilight become a genie before she even became an Alicorn where she had to choose between staying a genie and eventually seeing her friends pass or staying a genie for Spike as well as the massive reserves of magic she’ll have over the years. I can understand everyone’s concern about the implication of Twilight outliving her friends. But whole those still bitter about MMC will shake their fist, we must remember again we see no gravestones. We simply see aging friends at the end of the series. Even with the fact Twilight will outlive them. Twilight still has plenty of time left with them before it all happens. The whole thing gives it a whole bittersweet feeling admittedly, but I wouldn’t say the ending’s ruined by this implication.

Now it’s time though for the final song of the series. And what a note to end on. It’s absolutely one of the most beautiful songs of the series. The chorus always seems to somewhat well up tears in my eyes even beyond just knowing this was the final scene of the episode. The song’s just emotionally powerful in that way. In the midst of the song we also see many older versions of the characters. An older version of the kids from the CMC to Diamond Tiara, and Twist. Pound and Pumpkin Cake older. the older Student six along withe said CMC who seem to be the new teachers at the school. Big Mac and Sugar Belle have their own child (On a sad note you can see Granny Smith’s neck accessory around Applejack as well as Goldie Delicious who’s around Apple Bloom. Both seem to have passed away from old age by this time)

Now what’s really cool is the screen where the 6 come across the screen where the ponies their associated with throughout the series are shown. All the characters that were particularly touched in one way or another by the 6 ponies we’ve come to know over these long 9 years of the show. We see pinkie’s family along with Cheese Sandwich, Gilda, and Cranky. In Fluttershy’s we see Discord, Tree Hugger, the Parasprites, and Iron Will. In Rainbow’s we see the Wonderbolts, Daring Do, Quibble Pants and his family, Derpy, and Tank. In Applejack’s we even see her deceased parents, Autumn Blaze, and Coloratura. In Rarity’s we see Fancy Pants, Saffron, Capper, Ember, and Coco. And of course for Twilight we see the princesses, Moondancer, and heck for the first and only time in the series we see Sunset Shimmer (Albeit it’s kind of sad that this is the only main show appearance for her. I thought I heard somewhere that at some point they were going to show her too and reveal she’s the new principal of Canterlot High. In which I feel could of been a funny dialogue thing where she could say “When I was young, I was sure one day I would succeed Celestia. I just didn’t think it’d be like this!”.

And as Luster Dawn goes to her friends, the sun sets on the day as the Mane 6 all look on. And the book from the very first episode closes. And thus, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was over.

FINAL THOUGHTS

This was just a great ending of the series. As I’ve said before iI’m glad it got to end on this sort of note rather then being cancelled out of nowhere with an ending not quite as satisfying as this. Magical Mystery Cure could of been our series finale had the fans not supported the show so much. Some of the stuff we got would of been implicated of happening anyway if indeed the series ended with *BOOM!* Twilight’s a princess but I think it really helped to see quite a bit of aftermath of Twilight struggling with the promotion until she’s finally ready to step into Celestia’s shoes as the new ruler. We should remind ourselves time and again that’s how Faust wanted the series to end and while this show isn’t perfect and there are times in the shows where stuff dropped and episodes that missed the mark. There are usually amazing episodes throughout that has made following the series worthwhile.

And while G4 as a show is over there is still some comics to look forward to. We’ll also hopefullly see how G5 turns out. Though even if it fails, perhaps one day Hasbro will throw us a bone and do a nostalgic special with the G4 cast again. They’ve sometimes done it for Transformers. Hasbro should have the message sent on what made G4 so successful and they’ll try to somewhat replicate it’s success. Though they’ll certainly have an uphill battle with an all new staff and a hard act to follow.

I’m really glad I found this show all the way back in early 2011. It’s been so much fun following the characters as well as meeting new friends online who shared love for the show and even going to conventions related to all this. There’s still some fandom stuff to be done on my part even extending to next year as I’m not quite done with Genie Twilight yet. It is heavy thanks to this show being great for me that I’m gladly working on a little hobby blog for about 7 years or so. Thank you DHX, Hasbro, and everyone else involved with the show’s run for a fantastic show. We’ll never forget as the magic of friendship grows within all of us.

[janesviews]

Stranger Things 3 or Why Do We Mourn Abusive Men?

Another season of Stranger Things has come and gone and I have lots of thoughts and in this piece, all of them are going to be pretty negative. That doesn’t mean I didn’t like the season. I actively enjoyed it. But I want that joy somewhere else, somewhere far from here where I scream and shout and ask the vital question of why we are asked to mourn abusive men?

SPOILERS (and Scoops) AHOY for the whole of Season 3!

Listening to a recap podcast of the show before the season aired, there was a prediction that Billy would become the villain in season 3. This gave me pause as I had been under the assumption he had already been the villain. From the moment we’re introduced to him in season 2, he’s presented as intensely aggressive, and as the season progresses, he is physically violent towards almost everyone, racist and manipulative. Sure, he may not be a supernatural demon from another dimension, but is that what it takes to classify someone as a villain? He’s a quantifiable piece of shit. We get about 30 seconds of backstory on him, he’s had an abusive childhood himself, but is that 30 seconds enough to ignore/erase/forgive his actions? In my books, no. Despite this tiny peek into Billy’s past, we’re really only ever given one side to his character. We never get a glimpse of any sort of multi-facet he might possess. On the other hand, a character like Steve Harrington, who at first was presented as a one-dimensional douche (and we expect him to remain in this archetype as it’s an archetype we’re familiar with, especially in this 80s world we’re living in), evolved and shifted and has been on a continuous character growth spurt. Billy on the other hand is narrowly written and poorly defined. There is no nuance.

By the end of season 2, he’s been brought down, maybe by a peg, by his sister Max, and seems slightly cowed by her assertiveness towards him. However, once season 3 starts, he’s back to his old ways, screaming and fat-shaming a young boy at the pool where he lifeguards, manipulating married women into affairs and just being physically menacing. He is very shortly thereafter ‘corrupted’ by the Mind Flayer, thereby becoming the supposed villain I believe he always was.

I’m not going to get into his whole trajectory throughout the season only to say that it continues to be one-note. It’s hard not to think that this would just be the way Billy would be behaving had he not been possessed, maybe minus the drinking of chemicals. His real self vs. his Mind Flayer self are hardly different. He’s just as maniacal, only now he has super-strength and sweats profusely (a side effect of getting possessed by the Mind Flayer during an Indiana summer).

By the end of the season, after literally torturing people and killing many others, Billy decides to sacrifice himself because El says some words about him surfing as a child, and much like the universally panned segment in Batman v. Superman (Martha???), those words seem to snap him out of his haze long enough to get gutted by the Mind Flayer. This action does momentarily distract the Mind Flayer from ripping El to pieces just as Joyce closes the gate, vaporizing everyone near the Russians’ machine (including Hopper, who I will get back to) and killing the Mind Flayer, but the moment lacked any emotional depth or feeling. This heart-to-heart probably would have been better served from Max, the original target of Billy’s ire, instead of someone Billy mind-melded with for a minute. And this ‘heroic’ act of self-sacrifice is somehow supposed to balance out every other shitty thing we’ve seen him do for the past two seasons? I don’t think so. All I felt after it was all said and done was a mild sense of relief.

Max is BEREFT at the loss of Billy, her psychotic step-brother, and again, there is nothing to substantiate this reaction. They have literally never had a positive interaction and it is not fair to the viewer to have us pretend that this makes sense with no backstory to support it. It’s also disrespectful that now we are being told through music cues and Max’s reaction that WE are also supposed to be bereft by this loss. Billy may have done one selfless act in the 17 episodes we’ve seen him in but I will not mourn him. I will sing no requiem for the man who caused physical harm to his sister, almost ran over some pre-teens to scare his sister, violently assaulted his classmate until he had to be subdued by his sister… no. I will not be told to mourn that.

That brings me to the other major death we had this season (that is, if you believe he’s actually dead, which, with the current evidence we have, is not certain, but I’m going on the assumption that he is). Breaking the rule that if your name starts with the letter B, the Duffer Brothers have it in for you, Jim Hopper bites it in spectacular fashion. After finally getting rid of the Russian monkey on his back, he is stuck next to the deadly machine that is opening up the gate to the Upside Down. With no way of getting back to safety, Hopper solemnly nods to Joyce and she vaporizes him and closes the gate, saving the day. This loss is definitely a bigger one, Hopper has been a huge part of all three seasons of Stranger Things, and integral to the story. However, for some reason, this season he just sucks. What came off as loveable grump in the first two seasons is now coming off as raging asshole in the third. As the legal guardian of El, admittedly rightly perturbed by the physicality and closeness that has developed between El and Mike, Hopper begins the season by flipping his lid. El and Mike are preteens swapping a lot of spit and that’s a lot for Hopper to take. I get that. I, as the viewer, found myself more than once hoping the kissing scenes would get cut short. This begins Hopper’s tirade of aggression throughout the season. He is seemingly unable to use his words thoughtfully and must resort to threats to separate Mike and El. It only goes downhill from there where he assaults the corrupt mayor of Hawkins and almost chops his finger off in a cigar cutter. Later in the season he shoots down a bunch of Russian soldiers for no other reason then he was tired of waiting for Murray (a welcome surprise to the season, and almost made me forget how much I hate Brett Gelman’s character in Fleabag) to calm them down. We’ve seen people casually killed in Stranger Things before. El has killed her fair share of people before in acts of self-preservation. However, all of this seemed more and more extreme with Hopper. Last season we see him almost exclusively fighting supernatural creatures and for him to turn that aggression on people felt scary. It didn’t help that most of this season found him yelling at someone for things not going his way. He began to come off as petulant with a gun.

So by the end of the season, when Joyce is left with no choice but to destroy him for the greater good, I was again left with a hollowness. My sadness was not for the loss of Hopper but for those who had lost him. Had Hopper been axed last season, it would have had a much greater resonance. He had just begun to become the father that El needed, he was the friend that Joyce wanted and though he may have screwed up here and there, you always felt that he was trying. There was always an underlying goodness. To have that loss last season would have been a gut punch. To have it delayed to the end of this season and to see his character shift so negatively, it felt shallow instead.

There were so many positives this season, like the evolution of El’s and Max’s friendship, the introduction of the intriguing Robin, bringing back fan-favourite Erica for a larger role, any and all Steve content… Unfortunately, I felt the season was weighed down by aggressive men and the unrealistic belief that we should come to care for them. The show may be set in the 80s, but it’s 2019. It’s time to stop relying on this trope. Now that those two characters are out, what will season 4 bring? Murray as a main character? More Mr. Clarke (who was criminally underused, but shone in his scenes)? No adult men at all? We play the waiting game once more to see what Hawkins ‘86 has to offer.

And tomorrow… my top 10 moments from Stranger Things 3.

[moviemagistrate]

“Wonder Woman” review

I’m sure I wasn’t alone in being not-particularly-excited for “Wonder Woman”, the latest entry in the DC Extended Universe; after all, I did see the other films in the DCEU. There was the two-and-a-half-hour long trailer “Man of Steel”, the ambitious but notably flawed “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”, and “Suicide Squad”, a film that if I were forced to choose between seeing again and taking my own life, I would spend far too long considering. With skepticism in hand, I saw “Wonder Woman”, and I cannot remember the last time I was so happy to be so wrong about a film. This isn’t to say that the movie doesn’t have its own fair share of flaws (it does), but in at least one significant area, which is to inspire hope for the DCEU, it works wonders.

After a brief framing-device setup, the movie tells the origin story of Diana, princess of an isolated island of muscular, Amazonian warrior-babes. In a slow-but-alright prologue, she grows from an eager young girl who is sheltered from combat by her Queen mother to a formidable fighter when suddenly, dashing American soldier Steve Trevor crash lands in their waters. From him, she discovers the ongoing conflict of World War I and sets out alongside him to Europe to help save humanity from what she believes to be the machinations of Ares, the wrathful god of war. Writing it now, this sounds like silly, comic book-y stuff (and it is), but it works within the context of the movie, and the plot isn’t really the reason the movie works as well as it does, anyway.

Let’s talk about Gal Gadot. I was among those who were skeptical when Zack Snyder first cast her as Wonder Woman in BvS, despite his usual excellent penchant for casting his films. A model with acting experience that mainly consisted of “Fast & Furious” movies (not exactly acting showcases) being put in the shoes of the most famous female hero in comic book history has a lot to live up to, and while her limited role in BvS was decent, it didn’t exactly set the world on fire. Such is not the case here in her solo film. Finally given a character with outward personality and depth, she is absolutely phenomenal in what is legitimately one of the best portrayals of a comic book character in any movie. Diana is an idealist, a good-hearted and eager young woman (despite being centuries-old) with no small amount of naiveté and innocence but also someone who is also fiercely strong-willed and independent, and Gadot nails every aspect of her character and every bit of her development throughout the course of the movie, as well as being surprisingly funny. Sure, you could argue that there are probably some actresses out there who could offer some better line-deliveries, but in terms of sheer charisma and how she carries herself and how she makes you believe that she is Wonder Woman, I’d say that Snyder’s mostly-superlative casting record continues. By the end of the film you’ll be convinced that Gal Gadot is a fucking megastar.

The main reason the movie works so well for me is Diana’s relationship with Trevor, played by Chris Pine. A likable, cynical rogue who isn’t too much of a stretch for Pine considering he plays Kirk similarly in the new “Star Trek” films, but a character who is still given enough dimension and gravitas to make him memorable, which the naturally charismatic Pine plays to a tee. Their lack of familiarity with each other’s worlds and their clashes in communication leads to some nice fish-out-of-water humor (see Trevor’s bemusement at the glowing water on the island or Diana’s reaction to her first ice cream), but it’s their chemistry that is the beating heart of this film. The characters’ opposing worldviews supplies the needed character drama, but also helps creates a bond that feels as natural and fresh as any pairing in recent history. Just try watching the boat scene about 30 minutes into the movie without smiling, laughing, or feeling the fireworks these two create. This leads to a bond atypical of most movies, where their deepening relationship is based not on superiority of one over the other, but one of equality and respect, where you actually feel these two grow both individually and together. I might be harping too much on this matter, but this is easily the best romance in any comic book movie (yes, even better than Cap and Bucky). Other film couples have chemistry; these two are cooking Heisenberg-quality meth together and making it look effortless.

The rest of the cast is solid, as well. Of note are Steve’s three buddies who tag along with him and Diana on their mission. They initially seem like the typical diverse comic-relief sidekicks, but are surprisingly well-written and are even given their own moments that flesh out and humanize them more than you’d expect in this kind of film (and I’m always happy to see Scotsman Ewen Bremner onscreen). Connie Nielsen and Robin Wright are alright as Diana’s Amazon queen mother and warrior aunt, but they’re only in the opening third of the movie and spend much of it speaking in stilted “Game of Thrones” dialogue. While the actors who play the villains are good, their actual characters are one of the film’s main weaknesses, somewhat lacking in terms of depth and being interesting. We never really understand why Doctor Poison stoops to creating her devastating weapons of war, and [SPOILERS] the “surprise” late-reveal of Ares can be seen coming a mile away. [END SPOILERS] It’s somewhat ballsy to take a historical figure such as German general Erich Ludendorff and make him the cackling bad guy in your movie (with some unusually accurate attention to detail like his view of war and his pagan Norse worship), and while entertaining, he too suffers from a lack of depth and motivation beyond conquering the world (which again should be noted, is not entirely historically inaccurate).

Patty Jenkins is the first time a woman has directed a major superhero film (not counting Lexi Alexander’s low-budgeted but face-explodingly awesome “Punisher: War Zone”), and she brings a uniquely feminine perspective to Diana’s story, from her upbringing in an all-female society to her learning of the frustrating world of mankind to her loving and compassionate nature. Jenkins has only directed one movie 14 years ago and has only done a handful of TV stuff since then, so her ground as an action director is understandably a bit shaky. The action itself is pretty good, but between the slight over-reliance on Snyder-esque slo-mo and over-editing, you can kind of tell this is Jenkins’ first time doing this sort of thing (not helped by some shockingly crappy CGI). However, she makes up for this by spacing out the action well over the course of the movie, and giving each fight weight, story meaning, and character development for Diana. Along with Rupert Gregson-Williams’ pounding soundtrack, this comes together best in an outstanding mid-movie charge across no man’s land to liberate a Belgian village. 

Putting aside the action stuff, Jenkins’ strength lies in the character scenes. The boat scene and others like it feel so natural and well-done because Jenkins knows the importance of slowing a movie down to let us take in the characters and making us care for them. In these scenes, she shows moments of such humanity and personal growth that it really catches you off-guard how moving this film can be. Later in the film, there’s a scene where a character sacrifices themselves and the camera holds on their face for a while, and seeing this person come to terms with their death will both break your heart and take your breath away. Moments like this involve you in a story more than any giant CGI clusterfuck or ironic Marvelquip. Speaking of which, the film itself has a refreshingly good sense of humor, that in deference to modern superhero tradition never feels forced and feels like it’s coming naturally from the characters and their quirks instead of soulless hack writers making pop-culture references.

Despite all that the film does right, it’s not without its flaws. Along with the aforementioned dodgy special effects and the so-so villains, the film also tends to get bogged down in exposition. It has not only the early backstory narration (which at least has context since it’s a story being read to Diana by her mother) and the third-act “villain explains their motivations” monologue, but also fairly frequent occurrences of “newly-introduced character tells us who they are and what the situation is”. It’s still done relatively well, and I prefer it to a movie rushing through just to get to the next studio-mandated action beat, but they could have been more economic with these parts. Also, the third act is a bit of a letdown. Without spoiling much, it disappointingly becomes another huge CG-battle after the baddie monologue, the kind we’ve all seen dozens of times. Maybe some producer or studio exec is hoping that these types of climaxes will one day go full-circle and become exciting again. Finally, the very last shot of the movie is kind of silly; it has no real purpose and is only there because someone out there mistakenly thought it’d look cool.

Nevertheless, I’m writing this review a few days after seeing it, and I’m honestly still shocked at how much I was thrilled, entertained, and even moved by “Wonder Woman”. It’s just so rare for me to find a movie that actually clicks with me on an emotional level that I can easily recommend it despite its relatively-minor foibles. I’m not convinced the DCEU has its shit together as this film could just as likely be an anomaly, but “Wonder Woman” is miraculous solely by giving one the slightest bit of hope that “Justice League” will be good. As long as Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins make another one of these, I might just become optimistic about this franchise. You go, girls.

[heartsdefine]

↪ memes — accepting!

@isbrilliant said: ❛  i’ve  been  meaning  to  introduce  myself ,  i’m  donna.  ❜ @ 13 :)

        “Right,” the Doctor says, without really thinking. Then: “Of course you are! Donna. Good name, Donna! Strong. I'm—Joan.” They seize the redhead's hand and give it an overly enthusiastic shake. “Pleasure to meet you for the first time ever in this particular lifetime.” Not a lie, technically...

[heartsdefine]

↪ memes / accepting!

@stormlit said: " i am in awe of your heroism. " billie & 13 (but like, it's sarcastic)

        the doctor frowns. “well. lucky i didn't come here to impress you, then, isn't it?” they move swiftly from one console to the next, typing quickly on keyboards they mostly understand. “what i did come here to do, is save everyone.” they step up to billie, stopping just short of her personal space. “if you don't mind getting out of the way.” 

[heartsdefine]

↪ memes / accepting!

@riiese said: "now you stop being hard on yourself. all is forgiven." (Ingvar for 13?)

        “How d'you mean ‘all’?” the Doctor asks, turning abruptly from their fevered pacing to face the giant. “I said I would find a way to help you with this problem, and I will. I haven't finished trying yet. In fact, I haven't even begun!” They're suddenly so filled with vigor, it's hard not to believe every word.

[heartsdefine]

↪ memes — accepting!

@captseven said: ❛ i’m not leaving you. ❜ (for the thirteenth doctor, please!)

        “You've got to,” the Doctor says, in a tone that echoes with a few billion years' worth of authority. Their hands pause, hovering over the blinking controls. “When I send out this signal, it's going to short out any tech within a thousand feet of here. I don't know what it might do to you, and that's why you need to be inside the TARDIS before I hit the last button. Her shields will keep you safe.” She puts a hand on Seven's shoulder. “Go. I'll be fine.” 

[heartsdefine]

↪ memes — accepting!

@isbrilliant said: ❝ i’m also worried about me, but i somehow seem to be worried about you more. ❞ thirteen

        “Dunno why, because I'm fine. Honest.” Rule One: The Doctor lies. This time they do it with their hands in their pockets and a shrug that's so much like a man they were once, all ego and rage in a pinstriped suit, before knowing her changed them so much for the better. “You know me, though. I'm always all right. And you, Donna Noble, have the whole rest of your life to live!” The Doctor smiles, but it doesn't quite reach their eyes. Still, there is some warmth in it. “Can't have you wasting it worrying about me. Not when you've a husband and a daughter now to worry over.”

[heartsdefine]

↪ memes — accepting!

@highaver said: "This isn't the sort of thing I do anymore." doctor! post unit bal

        “Right, right. I had heard you retired from the old game.” The Doctor exhaled a sigh through buzzing lips. “You don't have to come along, if you don't want to. Just thought it might be a bit of...fun.”

[heartsdefine]

↪ memes — accepting!

@stormlit said: ❛ the only thing i do know is we have to be kind. be kind. especially, when we don't know what's going on. ❜ (molly & 13)

        “quite right you are, too.” the doctor pauses, taking a moment to consider molly's words, then nods. they were being too hasty. “what would you suggest?”