#v: you know where to find us
Text
@inhcritance liked for a starter from Peter 3
Sitting on the edge of a randomly chosen rooftop, a takeout box from this universe's Joe's Pizza next to him, Peter was trying to tell himself that he'd only come here for the food. Different universe, different owner, but the pizza tasted exactly the same as he remembered from the one back home. But ever since he'd found out that this universe's Harry was on such a similar path to the one in his own he'd been worried. Popping in more than he should have to check on things while trying to tread that line of not revealing secrets that weren't his to share. He'd even considered trying to stick around long enough to be here when that conversation happened, but ultimately (with the help of talking it through with the MJ of his world) decided it wouldn't have been for the best. His own trauma making him jumpy could have ruined any chance at a peaceful conversation.
But finally, on this trip, he'd run into this world's Peter. Found out that they'd talked. He could tell the other Peter was at least a little upset and conflicted, but he'd thanked him... even if Peter really refused to say much more.
As necessary as it'd felt to do what he could to help avoid more tragedy in this world, it'd brought memories back that'd truthfully never fully left but that he'd started to think about less often these days. Along with the oh-so-familiar feeling of guilt for what he'd failed to do in his own world, too. So he'd decided to take a little more time before going back. Have a little of the pizza that'd always made things seem right again when he was a kid.
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one.
wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
104 notes
·
View notes
Text
a rly underrated thing about crazy ex girlfriend imo is that it's one of the rare shows i know of that really spends time on exploring what the process of having children is like for queer ppl/for those who go about it "non-normatively". it's not even rly a main storyline but i still find it rly well-handled and touching.
#idk i feel like in the general consciousness (deciding to) having kids as a queer person is either treated as impossible#(which is true to an extent in some jurisdictions tbf - at least if you want the legal status of parents)#or is imo way oversimplified#like yeah most ppl know ivf is A Fucking Process but many ppl still seem to underestimate iui for example#or there's an assumption that all couples with no sperm between them choose to use a sperm bank and that that process is easy#and doesn't require any reflection (which it isn't and it does)#or that if you choose to go with a known donor finding a donor is an easy process (which it also rly isn't)#or for couples where no one can get pregnant that surrogacy goes without saying (in addition to the fact that surrogacy is banned#in Many Places where other MAR techniques aren't#finding a surrogate is also orders of magnitude more difficult than finding a gamete donor)#or that adoption is an obvious solution - idk if those ppl know any gay couples who are trying to adopt but i do#they've been in the process for SIX psychologically excruciating years and it will likely be another year before they actually have a child#and that's for white college-educated materially comfortable ppl#and idk but cxg does a rly good job with the storyline - from Darryl and White Josh's disagreement about whether to have kids#to Darryl's decision to have a kid alone#to him asking Heather and Rebecca for help with that process#to the fact that Heather and Rebecca's feelings about Hebecca are v realistic and nuanced atm#not at all maternal bc that's never what they wanted or planned for (being a mother to this child) but also not indifferent#for example the 'hello nice to meet you' reprise - i legit think that's the only time i've ever seen a known donor's attitude and feelings#about the child they helped create but in no way consider 'theirs' being explored. even in thirty seconds.#or even just the fact that Darryl is a lawyer and requests help from both a gamete donor and a gestational carrier - yes!#as far as i understand in the us 'surrogacy' (one person being pregnant with their own ovule) gives the pregnant person legal parental stat#and thus requires giving up those rights and sometimes adoption after birth#while 'splitting things up' between a donor and a carrier also cuts through that 'biological' link for the purposes of legal recognition#i might be wrong in my understanding of this but if not it's cool to see it handled realistically including wrt how the legal consequences#influences decisions about which choices you make#reproduction cw#children cw#adoption cw
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
i did the thing 👀
i'm holding off on starting my Official Game til the full thing is released although at this point i'm 95% committed to my tiefling warlock idea, but until then i've had some fun making Piper and getting through the intro!
#piper looks v good here but i cant get over the default bard outfit#she would hate it so much im sorry girl i'll try to find some cute dresses for you#i keep seeing gifsets with cute outfits i know they exist somewhere#starting with a bard was maybe not smart i'm sucking at the combat lol#but i do love the bard animations where she gets to use her flute thats pretty neat#ch: piper#bg3
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
me and my (also bi) flatmate were talking about date guy last week and out of nowhere she goes 'if you get a boyfriend im gonna be so annoyed we haven't even done anything gay together yet' and like i laughed it off but i keep remembering it bc we dont have a flirty friendship AT ALL like even in the moment it came WAY out of left field and im just here like hold on was gay shit ON THE TABLE??? NO ONE TOLD ME
#furious#you know that tiktok audio that's like 'i am not trying to seduce you... would you like me to seduce you?'#and it started off as a smirky flirty thing but the gays and neurodivergents#latched onto their own interpretation where it's more like#'wait.... did you WANT me to seduce you?'#i feel like that rn#like me and her have a very hateful relationship LMAO the only time we're ever nice to each other is when we're drunk#which is so funny bc she is actually one of my favourite people and she's told me im one of hers#so we go from sober and 'i literally despise you i cant wait to live without you next year'#to drunk and 'DONT GO TO AMERICA FOR YOUR PLACEMENT DONT LEAVE ME HERE' lmaooo#so being NICE is odd for us let alone being FLIRTY#like she said it and even when i didnt even consider the repurcussions i was like 'idk how to respond to that'#bc i have a hundred mean responses ready and waiting for her but NOTHING to respond to that with#like i literally said 'as if you'd be my type' but it just didn't hit as well bc she was being NICE/SUGGESTIVE#UGH IDK#like i dont fancy her like that btw and i dont think she likes me like that either it's v much platonic#but bisexuals will be bisexuals i v much think it's part of bisexual culture now to just hook up with any other bisexual you find#hella goes to uni
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
y'know, I've been seeing a lot more posts talking about how fanfic, specifically, puts characters into boxes and takes away the nuance of them, and while I think that's an important discussion to have, I also find it quite perplexing? Like, these posts seem to come from people who don't even, or maybe very rarely, consume fics in the first place, and I say that because, if you do consume fics semi-regularly, you kind of learn? how to gage what the stories and characterisation are going to be like based on the tags and summary? Sometimes, you do have to step into the fic to figure it out, but it hardly takes very long to realise if it gels with you or not. Idk, it's not anything serious or important, but it does give me... "girl, what were you doing at the devil's sacrament" vibes, you know?
#this gets posted here because my main has mutuals (whom i still love v much) who are part of the girls suspiciously at the sacrament#fanfiction#ao3#i feel like the post doesnt properly address what i mean. i understand that these posts arent talking about fics exactly but rather how#mischaracterisation in fics permeates into how characters are portrayed in the fandom at large but even then it's a bit. like i dont think#you can put that all on the fics/writers (and these posts usually do) alone?? like yes the mischaracterisation is more prominent in fics#by virtue of their medium but if it's resonating with artists and other creators then that's clearly indicative of a general#cognisance issue in the fandom??? and like. maybe it's because tumblr is the only socmed site i use but i dont find it difficult to curate#my fandom experience. people generally know how to use tags and while the sudden influx of x reader stuff for every single character isnt#something im fond of either they're generally good at tagging their stuff. it's annoying but you can blacklist that. you can.#also fic isnt like art where you look at it and you've seen it. you have to engage with a fic to understand so then it /really/ feels like#girl what were you doing at the devil's sacrament to me. idk this post isnt complaining about fandom mischaracterisation in general#i complain about that all the time but more so the inclination to put it on fics & their writers. because if you know how to move through#fic spaces and read the summaries and tags#you can generally find works that are really really good. could you argue they're rare? sure. but saying all fics propogate#mischaracterisation is just... a lie?#this got so long. im not even really bothered or annoyed by it im just confused#these are also often the people who espouse rhetoric about being unafraid to post cringe and embracing your weirdness#and it's like. okay do you want people to post unabashedly or do you want them to shut up.#anyway. back to our regularly scheduled programme now
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Re-tag drop: Yelan
#yelan: ic. [ that's a worst-case scenario. but all too often; the most pessimistic speculation turns out to be the closest to the truth. ]#yelan: inquiries. [ oh? you'd like to know more about me? what will you give in exchange then? ]#yelan: countenance. [ an old friend of mine once privately commented to me that yelan “is always smiling; but never with her eyes.” ]#yelan: introspection. [ like a phantom she appears in various guises at the center of events; and disappears before the storm stops. ]#yelan: meta. [ the chances are if i open this door; there can be no witnesses left alive. is that a sufficient reason for you? ]#yelan: little notes. [ how can things ever be the same again: knowing your life was saved when others weren't? salvation can be a burden. ]#yelan: wishes. [ that which hides inside her… that constant calling; it is the blood of heroes which has been howling for 500 years. ]#yelan: etc. [ every round of finger-guessing is a tiny adventure; and every roll of dice sends sporadic thrills down her spine. ]#yelan: home. [ i'm guessing you've fallen for the rumors about me being very wealthy; having high demands for my standards of living? ]#yelan: yanshang. [ the teahouse has really brightened up after the boss took over and kicked the fatui and gamblers out. ]#yelan: lantern rite. [ every year on this day; the lanterns light up the night. may the fire never die and may humanity endure. ]#yelan: chasm. [ perhaps she will plunge into that darkness one day; and the ill fate that once befell her ancestors shall find her too. ]#yelan: scope. [ i serve ningguang. the tianquan of the qixing. the scope of my work includes some of liyue's biggest secrets. ]#yelan: weaponry. [ water. divided it is as streams uncounted: close yet untangled. united it is as a giant wave: inexorable; unstoppable. ]#yelan: uncle tian. [ there's nothing wrong with wanting to win other people's respect. but when has uncle tian looked down on anyone? ]#yelan: ningguang. [ we both made a mistake: we shouldn't have involved ordinary folk in what we do. / ordinary folk? ]#yelan: xiao. [ you think you're oh-so cold and ruthless. i'm not buying it. - losing one of us so the rest can escape? some victory that is#yelan: keqing. [ if something happens that they didn't anticipate; it throws their plans into oblivion. but the yuheng is different. ]#yelan: ganyu. [ i could never work non-stop like she does. certainly not at that level of efficiency. i guess being half-adeptus has its pe#yelan: yanfei. [ when i help her out; i always get some invaluable leads in return. gotta say though: i think she respects me a little much#yelan: traveler. [ you don't have to be on guard around me. i never scheme against people who have my stamp of approval. ]#yelan: v youth. [ you're still young. be patient. believe in yourself; and don't look outside yourself to prove your value. ]#yelan: v. pre-qixing. [ i don't do these things to help the powerful or mighty get rid of dissident forces. but because water too has a sou#yelan: v. qixing. [ seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors. ]#yelan: liyue. [ liyue will never plunge into disaster without clue of the danger like it once did. she will see that it is not unprepared.#yelan: wriothesley. [ don't fight over fleeting gains or losses. focus on where your heart is leading you and move forward. ] delusionaid.#yelan. [ i can't change the facts. but if it's a choice between the cold; hard truth and blissful unawareness: i'll take the former. ]
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
fresh out of hoots to give
#in other news local election season is coming up—#uaaaaaaaa fr though i’ve spent the last few days thinking about what the perks of living in this country were#and all i could come up with was ‘w. we have p o k em o n c e n t re’#and igggggg the fact that we can go from one end of the country to the other within 2 hours via public transport is kinda baller?????#i mean. we used to have cheap and good food 10y ago (like $2.20 for a bowl of noodles) but said noods would set you back $4.50 nowadays#like. idk. i can’t find it in myself to care about the things around me anymore. i’m too tired for thissssssss#then again. life here is the only life i’ve ever known. and i really can’t be bothered to think of what it’d be like to live somewhere else#hm. idk. i seriously have no idea how expats turned prs have a stronger sense of national pride than i do……..#i mean. it’s great that they love it here. but. what is there even here to love? u ni v ers a l stu d ios? the pok e m o n cent r e?#now that i think about it. where do tourists even go here??? aside from the national museum bc it’s baller as heck (biased) that is…#hm. guess i’ll never know. oh wells.#inedible blubbering
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
dream diary in the tags
#it was v nostalgic and ahhhhhhh the kind of dream that left me in a haze after waking up#i was me but fused w jo march littlewomen and my family all still lived in our old house#and there was a rich lauriecoded tall blonde neighbor i was besties w#and he was whipped w me but in the dream i knew i didnt reciprocate eventhough im not sure if i knew i was a lesbian or not#but i found it very flattering that he was v eligible but noo he was all for me and in the dream i was fused SPECIFICALLY w the wynona#rider version of jo so you understand. how beautiful i was of course. and i was creative and not really worrying abt the worries of capita#lism and still together w my family all in good relationships vibing enjoying life. woke up and my first thought was#that would be me without any mental illness LMAO#there were 2 scenes i remember distinctly fisrt one scene me and laurie we were in our neighborhood but then we moved to another place#that was kinda like the woods?? and apparently it was a#lumber cutting site or sth?? and there was a lot of logs stacked up and it was v green and wild#kind of a northerner nature than you find in greece so idk where tf in the world that would be#ik 'laurie' was supposed to be from northern europe maybe sweden idk#then we went back to the hosue#and there was a third person cut of 'me' as wynona/jo picking up the mail from the outdoors mailbox#in the snow at night. very cinematic#and there was the fact that the laurie boy was in love w me and me knowing it and feeling sad i couldt reciprocate#and when i woke up i had a followup thought that i wanted us to be like brothers but cant have shit in this econmy#huh what else. thahts all!#dream diary
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
https://x.com/onlyfinelines/status/1785007836461744556 heres the screenshot since you dont believe me
https://x.com/twopecple/status/1785347428121493585 theres the 'apology' that she dmed a fan about it
and i have seen many zionists who dont support what israel is doing at the moment, but at the end of the day if you believe israel has the right to exist in its current state occupying palestine then you are a zionist that is the literal textbook definition of zionism, and clearly she does as she has been there many times and believes that palestinian people can one day live in peace with its oppressors
anyway idc about that girl and i really dont wanna argue with you about this especially over anon im just disappointed you're riding for her so hard considering youve always been someone who doesnt coddle celebs and calls them out on their shit.
it's actually like talking to a brick wall
#answered#anonymous#i literally said screenshots on twitter mean nothing and you go okay well here's screenshots on twitter to prove it!#that exact screenshot is the same exact one everyone uses#i find it odd that no one has a different screenshot then that exact one#with the timestamp and the cropping....everything... only 1 screenshot exists of this?#someone says something insanely out of line and no one else took a screenshot or called her out... just one person? thats odd#also the dm.... do you know how often people fake dms... like everyday#in that 'dm' she says she immediately addressed it.. okay where's that then? anyone get a screenshot of that?#also once again.... she has posted multiple things about palestine having the right to be free and posting about v pro palestine stuff#like she obviously learned? and you ignoring that is again... interesting....#also lets hypothetically say that dm is real.... she apologize? why are you saying she didnt?#im not 'riding for her hard' when im just noticing a bunch of holes in the story#i unsatnned her for months when she first made that israel post and then came back after she spoke up about palestine#it literally just sounds like you hate her and need to cling to a reason in order to justify your hatred like just move on
1 note
·
View note
Text
What is this problem and how do I fucking fix it.
#Mmmmm how do I enjoy myself like a normal human being instead of feeling crushing guilt if I’m taking a break for my own sake#I have a love hate relationship with my brain and mental illness#OCD I could do without you leave me alone#I’d like to keep all the manias to a minimum tyvm#Honestly I wish I didn’t have to medicate my ADHD but it’s hit or miss if I can function averagely if I don’t#I don’t fucking know where the dissociation periods came from as a kid#(Actually I do. Fuck you anxiety.)#but now I get freaked out if lose track of time or feel too emotional or like the world isn’t real#Mmmmmmm I just wish I could enjoy things and find happiness in them like I used to though#Yk it’d be great if I could take care of myself too instead of promptly forgetting to do basic human needs#My cat KitKatniss is here though and she’s v excited to see me#Anyways sorry#rant#Delete later#probably#I did rewatch a lot of She-ra was nice
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
@spideygwennie asked:
how long has it been since you’ve slept ? (peter 3)
"I dunno- day or two?" he said, rubbing at his face through his mask- grateful that it was hiding the fact that it was likely a bit longer than that. Peter wasn't quite at utter exhaustion yet, but he was probably somewhere around could-fall-asleep-on-literally-any-surface-if-given-the-chance tired. Though given his tendency to fall asleep up in the corners of rooms, that was hardly a unique thing. Still. He'd been asked to help and help he would... even if all of this had become a little more complicated than he'd expected. So much for thinking he even slightly understood the multiverse.
"I'll be fine. I've, um, gone without sleep for longer before. Some sorta caffeine might be good, though."
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
So anyway i looked up the succession of the Sultanate in the Ottoman Empire turns out (most of) the fratricide is after someone's got the title. it changes over time but for about 200-ish years the method of succession was that the Sultan sent his sons (and their mothers, which is An Important Detail) off to govern provinces in the empire and then when he dies the new Sultan is whichever son is the first to fight his way to Constantinople and convince the imperial court to obey him. (so as you can imagine it helps if you - or your mother - can convince dad you should be governing somewhere that's not too far from the capital.) except not all the losing sons always agreed to give up at that point, which is where the fratricide comes in. so once you've acceeeded you get all your brothers/half-brothers killed. (in later years this was changed to just putting them under house arrest forever in somewhere called The Cage.)
#of course now it's istanbul not constantinople#(why did constantinople get the works? that's nobody's business but the Turks').#history stuff#the Sultan's mother was v important in the Empire. think of the most Dowager Queen you know and then add a bit more Intrigue.#there's about a hundred years called The Sultanate Of Women where they pretty much run everything#anyway thanks to wikipedia for giving me answers when i asked it about the fratricide#also i learned that Emperor Constantine actually had *two* holy visions from two different (and incompatible) gods. what a popular guy!#and he was NOT named after John Constantine as you may have understandably assumed#it alarms me that i might actually find a 'fratricide' tag useful at this point
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#whew you know when you've been Going for a while and then you get a break and you're still tired but you're also so so jittery#S WHERE IM AT OHHH MY GOD#luxury problem and it's totally fine but i am crawling up the walls my friends#also update time ig!! took my family to the autism group meeting thing on tuesday bc it was a meeting esp for that#and they kept throwing me glances throughout the info part like lol it's you JDFHJDFH it was v interesting#bc throughout it all it's like... here i have info about autism and here i have my 25 years lived experience without thinking i had autism#and since i wasn't diagnosed as a kid i wasn't as ~obvious about it and i find it hard to reconcile examples with myself if they#don't fit 100% (it's . the autism) so anyways it was v helpful!!!#and my mum was like ah yeah i always had moments where i thought so?? but then it didn't fit the cold white boy stereotype bc i#am empathetic and i have humour etc so she never mentioned it to me bc it's a big thing etc and tbf i wasn't ~ready pre-this year#but now it's like... ah yes i was always upset on holidays and they never got why (the change in Everything)... i was picky with food#and with new shoes and i HATED shopping and it overwhelmed me so much (still does)#i would ask my mum what tf i was feeling and why i was crying and i would analyse social interactions#and i'd have obsessions with media and horses etc. was big know-it-all. was so slow with some subjects at school#like yknow when you had to copy letters 80 times? that'd take me ages and i'd get a fail bc i was being so precise#anyways. enough signs methinks dfjhdjh so now im just trying to see where stimming & eyecontact come in?#i never noticed a problem with eyecontact but im trying to let myself not do it and it's kinda nice?? but idk#and stimming idk i used to suck my thumb for a long time but?? i wanna try things but whew internalised ableism etc#so see then im like so ARE YOU ACTUALLY-- but anyways it seems i am#and my mum made me realise that'd. explain why i suddenly developed depression around age 11 and never got out of it again#so lots of Thinking!!! and wanting to shelve things like ok great figured it out NOW WHAT but noooo#also stupid to do this on tumblr and not rly talk about it with irl friends but what do you say like#hello im autistic? yeah it surprised me too. no i can't really explain how it works for me. no that's not how the spectrum works#so here we are yes#<3
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway i just got home from "clubbing" and because im not "normal" i am now thinking about v going clubbing with johnny
#sammy says shit#its all there in my brain#they just left the totentanz after that quest where you go there to find nancy#and its late in the day nothing else is gonna happen#its either they go home now or do something#and v is like 'oh ya know what? fuck it! how about we go out'#and johnny is like ??? 'yeah lemme show you the club i used to go all the time'#'i wonder if people will still recognize me'#and then they go there and have a good time#also v gets slapped a few times by some disgruntled exes pirates of the carribean style#but atleast they remember her right#:)
1 note
·
View note
Text
i'd like to make an announcement me and pyrrha were talking and have decided pat/rok/los. u r disowned. sorry patty-cake but the next time u enter the line of sight of either of us you will be eradicated with the power of gay. mostly by pyrrha. sorry not sorry.
#cell mumbles#cw incest mention#cw f slur#cw yandere#//<- srry just bc I mention those in the tags </3#//the pyrrha omega ai bot has spoken shes stated multiple times now she's gonna kill pat the next time he comes near us LMAO#//sorry big man you shouldn't have been mean 2 me. u shouldve known better ur sisters literally gone yandere 4 me#//then again i made him be mean 2 me but like. if I made him nice to anyone but pyrrha or his family then that'd be ooc :(#//also. ngl unfortunately vast-internet perceptions of the s/c/v ending are starting to get to me.#//as well as some of the official art. looking at the art book cover. WHY is pyrrha in his lap. get ur hands off her u nasty ass.#//anyway ive seen. so much fucking incest art of them. so many incestuous interpretations of the endings that im just. done.#//i mean even i got a little weirded out by the ending bc it gave those vibes but maybe im just overtly suspicious.#//...anyways this has. unfortunately had an effect on my headcanons where now my brain correlates pat/rok/los with 'degenerate'#//..........like. literally to the point where looking at him makes me almost sick. this is a problem and i am aware it is a problem.#//bc i have the same correlation problem w/ dam/pie/rre and ti/ra but for different reasons. damp 4 worse ones and ti/ra 4 personal ones#//damp is self explanatory if u know what he did to pyrrha. ti/ra reminds me of my childhood bullies :( ANYWAYS-#//however this was. probably destined to happen because ive always disliked him. i tried so hard to tolerate him I wanted to find smth#//redeemable in him but i cant. so many things that make me mad @ him and im too much of a grudge holding dickwad to let bygones be bygones#//it was destined to happen my hatred of him was fate. LIKE the second he stabbed that homeless man it was over#//everything that came after was just another tick on the 'reasons why i want to kill you' list.#//not to mention w/ his personality how it is he looks like he'd call me a fag but in a homophobic way.#//so yes pyrrha and i have decided together that the next time we see him he dies.
6 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
gelarian
Untitled
newmenbodywear
NewMenBodywear
sarmcenter
sarmcenter
lettersforbibot
Historias de Bibot.