#v eager for friendships and connection even if she doesn’t Know How To Do It

[aimfor-theheart]

—————————————— Nynseph ——————————————

daughter of death, born with too much life. clawed her way out of her own grave, from the underworld, from her father’s frigid embrace. sister killer, life saver. the great change of the seasons, from pale winter to shuddering, hot spring. the flower and the serpent underneath. death’s lost love; the seed to his scythe. so desperate to defy fate and their red strings. life-sworn; promised to protect nature and in doing so, defying her own. wayward, aching, furious soul, begging for forgiveness. begging for life, for love, for a world untorn. begging to bury her father’s sickle, so that she may bloom.

[mxxnspells]

Pick a Teacup — What do you need to know right now?

Hello! Today I am bringing you my first pick a card on this blog! I have decided to do it around “What do you need to know right now?”. I will intuitively pick up messages from the images and use tarot as well.

How to make your pick: Firstly, take a deep breath. Close your eyes and become aware of your body and ground yourself in the question “What do I need to know right now?”. When you are ready, open your eyes and look at the different images. Select the one that sparks a memory in you. If you are drawn to more than one pile, then start from the one who’s connection feels stronger.

Disclaimer: As always, these readings are for fun. Take what resonates, leave the rest. I am not qualified to give any legal, medical advice. Any major decisions should be consulted by a professional. This reading should not replace any of that. 

Feel free to let me know if this resonates with you or not! I’d love to hear your thoughts about this so that I can improve and give you more quality pick a cards in the future! Any suggestions you may have, feel free to leave them in my inbox!

Teacup 1 

For some reason, I am seeing a wedding. I can hear bells chiming (I hope that’s the word), people smiling, it’s a wonderful time. Everything happens outside, in what appears to be a small farm. The feeling I get is content. Finally, everything is where it’s supposed to be. You should not take this interpretation literally, if it doesn’t apply. However, I get a sense of happy ending, everything is where it’s supposed to be. It’s the culmination of something that has been in the works for a long time, finally coming to fruition. I sense comfort, happiness, bliss but also worry about what’s ahead.

You are probably about to make a major choice that will influence the rest of your life somehow. You have been thinking about this, planning and you are ready to commit. You may not know what tomorrow holds but you are willing to dedicate yourself to this for a lifetime. You feel good about your decision, there’s a certain excitement within you.

Tarot: VII (Seven) of Wands, II (Two) of Swords, Ace of Pentacles

I feel like in some ways, the tarot cards mirror the ideas I already had picked up from the image. This is something that you have been doing for a long time, you have reached a point where you are slightly satisfied but there is something blocking your next step, a step you are eager to make. What I picked up from the image is reflected in your last card, the ace of pentacles. This choice is a new beginning, one that you have been tendering for quite some time. Whatever will come after this will be strong, meaningful and grounded.

———☽☆☾———

Teacup 2

I am tired. I feel like you are either studying a lot for something or you have been giving your all to something that has made you exhausted. I see this image of someone at a library, furiously taking notes and reading books to prepare for an exam or a test. Some of you might wear glasses and may have bangs. Some of you might be brunettes. I felt like this information will be relevant to some of you, not all. I have a feeling this is going to be something unexpected. You had everything planned out, I am getting major Virgo energy from you, and this is going to hit you in ways you weren’t expecting. You are going to spend more hours than expected dedicating yourself to this. My heartbeat changed just now. You are not going to be alone in this. Someone is going to join you, either to help you, guide you, or motivate you. They have an enchanting smile, that will be something you’ll notice about them.

Tarot: Knight of Wands, The Devil (reversed), III (Three) of Cups

This is beautiful. I feel like this reading is about this person you’re about to meet. They will come out of nowhere but their influence on you will be undeniable. They will help you see your true potential. They know you are capable of great things and they will help you get rid of this pre-conceived notions you have about things. I feel like they will help you relax, understand where your true worth is coming from, it goes beyond what you do, it’s connected with who you are. Whatever the two of you will have, will build into an incredible friendship.

———☽☆☾———

Teacup 3 

Overdrive by Conan Gray started playing in my mind. The colours of this image speak a lot to me. Sunset, summer, freckles. You might have freckles. For some reason, I also picture someone wearing a blue checkered dress with a straw hat. Very specific, I know. Take what you will with that. Summer. Whatever this is will either happen during Summer or has happened last summer. I have a sensation that this is about a memory, because the flashes I have in my mind seem like they belong to the past, not so much the future.

Right now you’re calm, contempt. It’s not like you are preparing, I feel like you are resting, allowing the rest of your life to unfold. It’s not like you have become passive to your life, opposite of that. You have finally realised you can’t control everything so you are focusing on what you can and making the most out of it. I hear people laughing. You either have a group of friends that you enjoy doing shenanigans with or you’ll meet people who will understand you and with whom you’ll connect deeply.

Tarot: X (Ten) of Swords, V (Five) of Swords (reversed), VI (Six) of Cups

The cards just confirmed what I was saying but gave me some more context to the memories. Something extremely painful happened to you in your past and you felt betrayed. You did everything, I feel like some of you might be people pleaser’s where you change yourself to fit the idea you want people to have of you. And you’ve done that, a lot. However, you got tired. It wasn’t worth it. You decided to move on. Even though you resent these memories, there is a part of you that lingers for this time. But now you know better. You are finally starting to know your worth, and you are allowing yourself to blossom slowly but firmly into the person you want to be. My darling, you are closer than you think. Maybe summer is indeed your time. 

———☽☆☾———

Teacup 4 

Life feels pretty stagnant for you, doesn’t it? I feel like you have the exact same routine every day and every day you get tired of it but you don’t allow yourself to change. I feel like family may have a saying in this. I am feeling a strong influence for your mother who either monitors everything you do (even if you are already an adult) or she is highly critical of your choices. Still, within this routine, there is something that brings you immense joy. I picture someone sitting in front of a TV, in the afternoon, with a cup of tea (or coffee) in their hand, watching a TV series. It may be a comedy because this person is laughing. There’s something about this TV series that resonates deeply with you. I think it’s a character who’s life story reminds you of your own. They might inspire you to take a stand for yourself and take ownership of your life. Also, this pile feels like the happy single. Someone who lives on their own but enjoys that. Maybe the pressure you feel from your family comes exactly from this. Maybe they want you to find someone but you just want to be by yourself for a while. I have the feeling you haven’t lived everything you want to live yet.

Tarot: V (Five) of Pentacles, IX (Nine) of Cups, The Empress

I feel like this mirrors the message I just got from the image as well. You have stepped out of something that wasn’t fulfilling to you. I feel like you are someone who recently moved out on their own because this energy is from the past. Now, you feel much more comfortable, happy, although you know that is still space for something else. I get that. The Empress can represent your mother but in this reading I don’t get that feeling. I get that this is what you are walking towards. You are about to step into your power with kindness.

[angelic-holland]

Alice’s Masterlist

Series

Blurbs 

Commission Info

✼  - 1k notes! 

Fluff

Dirty Shirley 

- you’re an actress in Endgame and have a little too much to drink for your 21st birthday.

Fooled Around and Fell In Love 

- Tom is a photographer, you’re a single mom, and Tom is falling for you in your little bookstore. 

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy 

- Tom and his boyfriend get dressed up, go on a fancy date and dance the night away. 

Oh, Fiddlesticks!

- In a world where the first word your soulmate says to you is tattooed on your skin, your soulmate is left wondering who uses the words ‘oh fiddlesticks’. 

The Mitten Tree

- You just want to give the children at Saint Paul’s a great Christmas, what happens when a celebrity you aren’t expecting is thrown into the mix?

Not Like This 

- You and Tom aren’t meant to be, not according to fate, not according to the rule that dictates who your soulmate is. Will that stop you from falling for each other?

Smut (18+)

Dinner Party  ✼

- A dinner party with the cast of Far From Home, with a smutty twist. 

Unexpected  ✼

- You didn’t know your best friend feels the same way about you, until you’re forced to share a bed in a hotel one night. 

Know Your Enemy 

- You hate the son of the CEO of your father’s rival company, right? 

So It Goes 

- You’re sick and tired of other college boys. Tom shows you how a real man should treat you.

Good For You 

- You and Tom get a little riled up after a premiere.

Teach Me 

- Boxer!Tom teaches you how to defend yourself, you end up on top of him.

Happy Birthday Tommy 

- You make sure your boyfriend has a great birthday, including a special treat from you.

Video Games  ✼

- Tom plays video games and you try not to distract him, although he doesn’t last very long. 

Good Girl 

- You tease Tom, he decides to tease you back.

Lesson  

- Tom teaches you a lesson. 

Switching Things Up 

- You normally let Tom take control in bed, here’s what happens when you change things up. 

Long Night 

- You and Tom use a remote control vibrator at a premiere. 

Night and Day  

- Tom decides to punish you, it’s a shame you seem to enjoy it. 

Getting Even 

- You come without permission, Tom teaches you a lesson, one day at a time. 

Cherry Knots  ✼

- You’re just a stranger in a bar, trying to stay as anonymous as possible.

Familiar  // Navigate  ✼

- You’re a famous Youtuber and your fans figure out you and Tom are dating.

Arcade 

- Being friends with benefits can be tricky, especially when one person catches feelings before another does. 

New Girl, Old Feelings 

- You and Tom take your friendship to the next level.

Pretty As A Polaroid Picture  ✼

- You and Tom really like the gift Harrison bought for you.

Try Again 

- A sequel to Dinner Party, you and Tom mess around at dinner.

Wasabi ✼

- You and your lab partner decide to ditch a party and have one of your own.

We’ve Got Chemistry  ✼

- Tom teaches you how to use a vibrator.

Eighteen (mini-series) ✼

- You ask the tattooed boy you’re tutoring to be your fake boyfriend, imagine your surprise when it turns into something more. 

Best Friend’s Brother  ✼

- You’re Harry’Holland’s best friend, what happens when you have a crush on his brother, Tom?

A Touch of Cinnamon

- You own a bakery, Tom owns a record store. You’re neighbors, just neighbors, right?

Watermelon Sugar  ✼

- Tom gets jealous when you seem to be paying more attention to your favorite singer than him. 

Feel Your Love

- Tom loves to be blindfolded.

Your Shirt

- You can’t wear Tom’s shirt after sex, neither of you seem to mind much.

Counselor in Training

- Tom is supposed to help train you be a counselor at Camp Pine Islands, what happens when he finds you alone in the showers one day?

Call Me Angel

- Tom is lonely, craving a connection he hasn’t been able to find in meaningless hookups. He stumbles across your profile on a phone sex website, a little bit too eager to talk to the girl in the Spiderman t-shirt. 

Figure This Out (coming soon!)

- Tom is a hopeless romantic who writes songs for girls he falls in love with. You’re just a bartender who is great at keeping secrets and manages the bar where Tom performs his love songs. 

Threesomes +

Just Desserts (Tom, Jake, Sebastian, Mackie, reader)

- You have some fun after the Far From Home premiere.

When Two Becomes Three (Tom, Jake, reader)

- You and Tom decide to bring a third into the bedroom. 

Cover Me In Your Love (Tom, Jake, reader)

- Tom and Jake treat you for being such a good girl for them.

Four’s A Crowd But Baby I Like to Party (Tom, Sebastian, Mackie, reader)

- Tom surprises you after comic con. 

Good Boy (Tom, Jake, reader)

- Tom is a good boy for you, Tom is a good boy for Jake. Can you and Jake work together to put him back in his place?

Do Not Disturb (Tom, Laura Harrier, reader)

- Tom and Laura invite you up to their hotel room. 

Tutors (Tom, Jake, reader)

- You and Jake teach Tom a thing or two. 

Office Hours (Tom, Jake, reader) // See Me After Class  ✼

- The escapades of Professor Jake, teaching assistant Tom, and you.

Let’s Play (Tom, Jake, Harrison, Zendaya, reader)  ✼

- Tom wants to show everyone what a good girl you are.

It Will Last Longer... (Tom, Harrison, reader)

- You and Tom invite Harrison into the bedroom, a sequel to Pretty as A Polaroid Picture.

New Seeds In the Melody (Tom, Harry Styles, reader)  ✼

- Tom surprises you by inviting your favorite singer back to your hotel room.

Angst 

What We Deserve 

- Tom shows you that you deserve so much more than you believe you do.

Puzzle Pieces 

- Tom and you are two pieces of a puzzle, you fit together perfectly. Right?

When the Levee Breaks

- Tom loves you, but you don’t love Tom. Is there anything you can do to fix this?

Halo Effect

Y/N just wants to save her little sister. What happens when a handsome stranger promises her so much more? 

Wildflowers and Vanilla

You and Harrison get high and fool around. 

Misattribution of Arousal

You run into a cute boy while on a jog, you’re not mistaking adrenaline for attraction, right?

Penny For Your Thoughts...

- You try to make Harrison jealous. It works out for both of you. 

Craft Store Secrets 

- You and Harrison do some last-minute Christmas shopping. 

Take A Seat

- You and Harrison reveal a little more about yourself during a party. 

The V Word

- You and Harrison have always been close. Close enough to ask him to take your virginity? 

Lonely Blue Eyes

-  You’ve always gotten flowers from the florist across from your flat, a small way to keep your place lively and happy. When he notices you’ve stopped coming by as often, he makes a surprise visit. It turns out he has exactly the shade of blue you’re looking for.

Jake Gyllenhaal

On My Mind

Y/N’s been tasked with interviewing Jake Gyllenhaal during a press junket for his new movie. What happens when she runs into him later than night at a bar?

Princess Party  

- You and Peter get to know each other at your dad, Tony Stark’s, party.

Thick Thighs Save Lives 

- You find out your boyfriend is Spiderman. Cue earth-shattering sex.

Do You Want Me? 

- You don’t need Peter to tutor you, but you want to spend time with him. 

Touch Me 

- You and Peter try to sort through your feelings. 

Dear You

-  A mysterious boy in a red and blue suit leaves you letters on your windowsill. Will you finally find out who the boy behind the mask is?

Church 

- You and MJ fool around in church. 

RA on Duty 

- You like your roommate. She likes you. It should be easy. Right?

Too Late 

- Peter loves Ned. Ned loves Peter. Is it too late for them to tell each other? 

**

Special shoutout to @honeymoonparker for making these headers for me! 

[riceccakes]

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter One Analysis

helloooooooo :) welcome to my chapter analyses for my fic Earth, Wind, and Coffee. here, i’m just going to be breaking down my writing process, choices, and fun stuff, among other stuff as well. you can read this after you’ve finished the first chapter (i’ve excluded spoilers!) or you could read all 45k words and then come back to these one by one. either way, i’m v excited to be doing this so i hope you guys like it too. lets begin with chapter one, shall we :)

some fun stuff before we start!

every chapter title is modeled after the fic title!

you may have noticed that there are two center line dividers in the chapter(and every chapter after), meaning there are three sections to a chapter. going off of this, i thought it might be cool to title each chapter based on the sections, either of its main topic or my favorite part of it. so, chapter one’s first section is korrasami meeting (hence, Meetings), section two is where i introduced Artist!Korra, and i really love Artist!Korra so naturally i had to name the chapter about her (and the thing that brings korrasami closer, Sketches), and the third section is where their friendship is solidified (i think i achieved this by giving their numbers to each other, but i also just thought it was a cute scene, Phone Number Exchanges) and now we put it all together and get: Meetings (Earth), Sketches (Wind), and Phone Number Exchanges (and Coffee) (pretty cool right??? *wink wink*) the same formula is used to title every chapter afterwards. i usually suck at chapter titles but i thought this was a super cute thing to do and it ended up working fairly naturally :)

i started this fic on sept 23, 2020. chapter one didn’t get posted until oct 15, 2020

so basically, i sat with this first chapter for almost a month before posting (which actually was a good thing, i’ll tell you why later!) i really wanted this first chapter to stand out and be lowkey perfect, so i kept writing and rewriting and rewriting my rewrites. then you know, i’d start reading and then edit and then edit the edits; it’s a vicious cycle but one that i’m used to. i finally decided to post the fic when i read the first chapter through and thought “yep, this is it” 

i was inspired by the fic it’s such a gorgeous sight to see you in the middle of the night by softshocks

mostly for the idea of having a full-length fic in only three chapters. buuut, that was also one of the first korrasami fics i read after finishing lok on netflix and i remember thinking “damn, now THIS is how you do an au” character progression in the story is great and not once during the fic did i feel bored or in a lull. i really wanted to do the same with my fic and tried my best

now, lets get into the chapter itself.

sentence structure:

i used sentence structure to (hopefully) show that something is off with korra. we don’t know what yet, asami chalks it up to working through the night, but just like the summary states, there’s more going on here with our new favorite barista, it’s just a matter of what. even with this being in asami’s pov, i wanted to show a sort of disconnect between her and korra. let me show you an example

“Asami smiles warmly, excited to try the drink. She thanks Korra and watches as the girl nods lightly and walks back over to the counter. She begins cleaning the espresso machine. Asami takes a sip from the mug, lightly moaning from the taste. She feels Korra’s eyes peer up at her for a moment. Their eyes meet and Asami blushes, putting the mug and her head down. She opens the binder on the right side, pulling out the pen tucked into the inside cover. She thumbs through to the next clean page and begins squinting at her sloppy notes, rewriting them neatly once they’re deciphered.“

i’ve italicized sentences that, even while in asami’s pov, describe korra’s actions. in comparison to the sentences around it, the two italicized sentences are rather plain and simple. they’re very subject-predicate - “She (subject) begins cleaning the espresso machine (predicate)” you have your noun/subject and verb/predicate, give or take some words for proper english and action. asami’s sentences are more complex. colored in red is what i’ve donned as my classic form of writing, which basically takes two sentences - “She opens the binder on the right side. She pulls out the pen tucked into the inside cover.” and smushes them together by keeping the first sentence as is and taking away the subject of the second sentence and tacking on an -ing to its verb. i’m not sure how writing sentences like this started but i feel like i always come back to it because it gives sentences just that lil bit of edge. the sentences are not super simple but they’re also not super hard to understand. it’s a nice balance of simplicity and complexity, in my opinion.

now in bold is the combination of korra’s - “Their eyes meet and Asami blushes.” and asami’s - “Asami blushes, putting the mug and her head down” sentence forms. it’s a nice little indication that even with this disconnect from korra, these two girls are going to come together and make magic.

this play with sentence structure pretty much continues throughout the rest of the chapter, have fun finding them :))

next on my list is what i brought up earlier! i saved this lil first chapter in my back pocket for almost a month and you know what, it was a really good thing i did. for one thing, asami’s original “tormentor” we’ll call him, was going to be tahno. the same idea of this character being a soccer player was kept but i changed the character from tahno to iroh for a number of reasons:

1) iroh’s connections to the fire nation throne were a biiiig thing in me deciding to change him. 

i loved iroh ii in lok, i thought he was super cool, but we needed someone in this story to be an obstacle for asami to face. we already have her dad hiroshi, and some of you may be thinking “isn’t that already enough??” and for a while i thought so too, but we needed a vehicle to show how hiroshi is an obstacle asami is facing. and i decided to do that with iroh.

2) i really wanted said character to be a conceded jerk and who better than a well known heir to a nation’s throne? (it really went to his head)

tahno was really already a jerk and pretty ruthless character in lok, which is why he came to mind first. and i’d had him only be a soccer star but that was cause for explaining how he and hiroshi have connections. i was struggling for a bit of how to tie the two together but ultimately realized, “hey hiroshi is a business man, he’s bound to do business in the fire nation. and iroh is from the fire nation, he’s prince! he could be a key factor in pulling strings to get more business there” and so that is why i changed tahno to iroh

3) it doesn’t stop there though! at first, iroh was only son of the firelord and soccer star mvp. he was in asami’s stats class but that was it. i realized he needed a bigger role to have connections with hiroshi, which is why he’s now a business major too

this reason is why it’s great i waited!! had i been an eager beaver and posted whatever the first draft of the chapter was, i would’ve been facing some challenges later on, so thanks past me for giving future me some help! this was the perfect way for iroh to be a conceded dick who’s in asami’s life even tho she doesn’t want him to be. i added on the bit about him joining future industries in section two of the chapter and was suuuper glad i figured it out because it helped me envision the rest of the story.

honorable mentions:

korra was going to be wearing a tee shirt when korrasami met but i changed this 1) so asami could leave up ✨korra’s muscles✨ to her imagination and 2) because gloves are a regularly used trope that someone has something to hide. i couldn’t really find a way to give korra gloves but i thought the next best thing would be covering up, so now she wears a sweater.

i googled different types of coffee. The Avatar is a latte macchiato, it’s a play on an espresso macchiato. espresso is added to milk rather than milk to espresso and features more foam than hot milk. i used this one cause i’ve always enjoyed seeing foam art and thought making aang’s classic arrow in foam would be cool. Aang’s Special is a play on his favorite treat, egg tarts. this one is a vietnamese drink and is exactly as i describe in the fic.

earth, wind, and coffee is very much a pun. one so many different levels though: earth, wind, and fire, esteemed multi-genre singing group, known for songs like september and fantasy. earth, wind (air), and fire are elements that are bended in the atla universe and while this isn’t a bending au, it’s still pretty cool. and now earth, wind, and coffee, it’s a coffee shop au. i mean come on, so many layers, i love myself for creating it but hate myself for how much i love myself for creating it.

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

honestly, no. i think because i’d already did all of the changes before publishing, but also cause any time i read through the first chapter, i just feel satisfied. i achieved all of my goals in that first chapter about setting up what would happen and it’s also just a good read.

have any questions? let me know! wanna comment your favorite things from chapter one? do it !! interact with me !! i demand it.

thanks for reading, i really liked doing this :)) (even tho more than once my writing for this got deleted and it was big sad because i’d gotten a good portion done but whatever we’re still here)

[chickensarentcheap]

Sanctuary -Chapter 49

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @thunderintheshadows​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @valkyrie-of-the-light​

Nik has arranged a private flight; her list of wealthy and well established connections is long and prosperous, with more names being added as the days go by. Most are former satisfied clients offering services in exchange of hefty payments, others are associates of big name and influential marks. Word travels fast in the dark underbelly of the soldier for hire world, and once you've established a reputation, it follows you; your client listing growing larger, the money offered much more substantial, the jobs more dangerous and life threatening.  

She'd reluctantly given him the departure time; slightly remorseful for causing an even bigger issue than she'd intended, and eager to keep the peace between Tyler and her herself. It would never be the same. They both know that. The last thread that had been keeping their friendship intact has finally been severed, relegating them to nothing more than colleagues. There's been too much damage done; the years of pursuing him and attempting to convince him to commit adultery, the trust issues that have been plaguing them since he refused to dump Ovi in the street in Dhaka (going against her direct orders), and now going behind his back and almost single handily ruining his marriage.   The latter is partly his fault as well; he shoulders his blame and has had a little more than twelve hours to torture himself over the decisions he'd made. With more meds in his system; he's finally starting to think straight again; the confusion beginning to lift,  the doom and gloom dissipating, the harsh reality of what he'd done sinking in. He's disgusted with himself; for resorting to the means he'd had, for allowing himself to spiral so far out of control that he hadn't even realized he was making a mess out of himself and his life,  for keeping such a horrendous and vile secret from his wife and for not letting her help him sooner.  And for reacting the way he'd had during their fight; for that brief moment when he'd come so close to not being able to control his temper and had thought about grabbing her or hitting her.

It makes him feel sick even now. When he thinks about getting to that point. That he'd allowed his brain to get so fucked up that hurting her had even become an option.  Under normal circumstances, the thought would never have even crossed his mind, not even in the midst of their nastiest and most intense of fights.  And the fact that it had had been enough to make him realize just how much things needed to change. How much he needed to change.  So instead of going on a bender and drinking away his misery, he'd proceeded to raid the mini bar in favour of dumping every bottle of booze down the drain to avoid temptation, and instead of going into an uncontrollable rage and trashing and destroying the hotel room, he'd sat down and had an emotional breakdown instead. Allowing the tears to fall and the sobs to wrack his body; feeling emotionally and physically spent afterwards, but determined to make his life better. He wasn't going to lose his wife and his kids. And he was going to make whatever changes he needed to make to ensure that didn't happen.

His hands are shoved in the pockets of his flack jacket as he crossed the tarmac; Nik and Esme are at the bottom of the stairs that lead up to the floor of the jet, quietly conversing as one of the stewards finishes loading the bags. Nik sees him first, attempting a small smile that he doesn't return, and her lips set themselves into a grin -almost remorseful- line before she whispers something to Esme, gives her upper arm a tight squeeze and then climbs the stairs to the jet without a glance back.

“Hey,” he simply greets, and attempts a smile. He's been miserable since she walked out the night before; heartbroken and desolate instead of angry and destructive. But he'd kept his promise; staying away from her, not even calling or texting, no matter how desperate he was to talk to her.  It's the first time in almost the entire five and a half years they've been together that they've gone that long without talking; always finding ways to communicate even when he was halfway around the world.  And he didn't realize that he'd miss her that damn much in such a short period of time.

Hey,” she sounds tired, sad. And he hates that he's done that to her. But her smile is genuine; it makes her smile sparkle and the bridge of her nose to crinkle. She's still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen; no make up gracing her still youthful features, clad in a pair of jeans and one of his hoodies.

“I was looking for that,” he teases, and nods at the sweater.

“You know it's my favourite one. I wasn't going home without it. And it still smells like you, so...” her voice trails off. “...what are....?”

“I know...”  he begins at the same time, then gives a small laugh. “Go ahead. Ladies first.”

“Age before beauty,” she playfully retorts, and even this small return to their often playful banter gives him hope.

“I know I said I'd stay away from you, when you called me to let me know you were leaving, but Nik told me what time the flight was at.  And before you get mad at her, I kind of put a huge guilt trip on her and forced her to tell me.”

“What are you doing here? I thought we both agreed we wouldn't see each other until you came home.”

“I'm not here to try and convince you to stay. I want to. But I won't.” He wonders if she wants him to; if she wants him to grovel and beg. Because if if that's what it will take to change her mind, he's more than willing to do it. He's far beyond worrying about his pride.

“You need to concentrate on the job,” she says. “And you can't do that if I'm here. You'll spend too much time worrying about me and the baby. And that's dangerous. If your head isn't one hundred percent in things.”

He nods in agreement. “I got a hold of Ovi. He's going to give it a couple of days and then they're going to make their way back to Colorado. I told him not to go to the house and to go to your mom's instead. It's going to be crowded as all hell there. Especially with Nik staying with you.”

“I told her she didn't need to, but she says it's for the best. She feels better if she can keep an eye on all of us. She said it would probably be okay if we went back to the house, but I don't want to be there without you. I'd feel better if you were there with us.”

“And I'd feel better if you stayed away from the house,” he says. “Until I got back. Just in case.”

“Are you okay?” she asks, and takes a step towards him.. “And don't say you're fine. Because I know you're not.”

“I'm not okay, but I will be.”

“You're taking your meds?”

He nods.

“Are you sober?”

“Yeah. I am. And I'm going to stay that way.”

Her smile is a little bigger this time, and she moves even closer to him.

“Have you been back there?”  she inquires. “The storage place?”

“No. Not since yesterday. Not since we...well...you know...”

“And are you going to? Go back?”

He shakes his head. “I told Mark to handle everything. That I wanted nothing more to do with it.  That I never should have done it in the first goddamn place. And I'm sorry. That I ever did do it. And that I never told you how fucked up my head actually is. As soon as I did it, I should have told you.”

“You thought you had a valid reason,” she says. “That's what your brain was telling you.  And I get that. That it was you but it wasn't you all at the same time. Promise me this won't ever happen again. That that's a direction you won't go in again. Because that isn't who you are. No matter what your brain tells you.”

“I promise. It won't ever happen again. That's not who I am; you're right. And it fucking makes me sick that I even thought about it.”

“Don't do that to yourself, Tyler. The guilt. Don't dwell on that. It happened. You can't go back and change it. For what's it worth, it wasn't all your fault. You had people enabling you. Making you think you were doing the right thing. And that's not who you are either. You don't normally give a shit what anyone says.”

“Guess I'm even more fucked up than I realize.”

“You're sick, not fucked up. And when you get home we'll deal with it. Together. Not on your own. You're not in this alone.  And the sooner you realize that, things will get better. You have to let me help you, Tyler. I know that's hard for you. You think I've already done so much. After Dhaka.  But I'd do it all again. I'd make the same decisions. In a heartbeat.”

“I didn't mean what I said. About wishing you'd let me die. I was just pissed off and on the defensive and...”

“I know...” she lays her hands on his hips.  “...I know you didn't mean it. And maybe things would have been easier. If I had have. But I wasn't letting you go. Not that easily anyway.”

He smiles at that.  

“I'm going to call the doctor when I get to my mom's. I should probably get into see her as soon as possible. I think I'm further along than I either of us think. Probably close to three months. If not a bit past it.”

“When I came back from El Salvador,” he easily recalls, and she nods. “Yeah, that was a wild eighteen hours. When I first got back. You were kinda...noisy...that night”

She blushes. “Yeah, well you have that effect on me. I just can't let it out when there's kids in the house. And if that's the case, that that's when it happened, I  need to get in to the doctor sooner rather than later. Just to make sure things are okay.  But I'll call you and let you know what she says. She'll probably want to do an ultrasound. To check on everything. I can send you copies of the pictures if you want.”

“Yeah, I'd like that. Then I go around showing them to complete strangers, bragging about my super sperm.”

She laughs, and shakes her head. “You're never going to let that go, are you.”

“Probably not.  Billy Flynn called. The IRA agreed. They'll take him off our hands. For everything we asked for. I'll let him know where you and the kids are. So he can have his people go there. So once I hand McMann over, that part of the job will be done. And no, I won't be doing it alone. I'll have someone there with me. So I don't flip my shit and fuck him up even more than I already have.”

“He'll get what's coming him to Tyler. Even if it's not you that does it. And I don't want you to be the one that does it.”

“I won't be,” he assures her, and reaches out to take her face in his hands, thumbs gliding across the tops of her cheeks. “I leave for New Zealand, In two days.”

“You found them? The kids? He told you where they are?”

“He just said they're in New Zealand. It's up to me to find out exactly where. But I'm thinking you were probably right about the grandmother's old store. That it's somewhere I should check out.”

“Don't go alone, okay? Because McMann may be out of the picture, but the Buckmans are still in it. And those are people you do not want to cross by yourself.”

“Mark and one of his guys are going to come along. Just in case.  As much as I can't fucking stand Mark...”

“He'll have your back. Mostly because he knows I'll kill him if he lets something happen to you. Please be careful, Tyler.”

“I will.”

“Because I kind of want you to come home,” she says, and fights back tears. “I really, really want you to come home.”

“I'm coming home, baby. I promise.”

She nods, and then drops her forehead onto his chest, arms wrapping around his waist. And he can feel her body trembling against him as she cries.

“It's going to be okay,” he drops a kiss on the top of her head, then places one hand on the nape of her neck, the other on the small of her back. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“I'm sorry. For some of the things I said. I know how bad they must have hurt you and...”

“Don't be sorry. They were true. I needed to hear them.”

“I would never, ever, take your kids from you. And I never should have said that. That was a horrible thing to say you but I was just so shocked over the whole thing and I was so angry with you and I was so hurt when you said you wished I'd let you die that I just snapped and....”

“Esme, it's okay,” he presses a kiss to her temple. “What I did was fucked up. And I'm sorry I did it. That I lied to you. That I disappointed you.”

“You're a great dad, Tyler. And when I said that you should try being a dad for once...”

'Baby, stop. Just stop.  It's okay. And it's true, I've been away more than I've been home. I've missed a lot. But I always tried to make for it. With them. But I never tried hard enough to make up for it with you. And I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry.”

“There's things we both need to work on,” she says, and he nods.

“Me more than you though. I've got a lot more shit to work out.”

“We'll do that together, right?” she sounds worried, and she looks up at him, her top teeth digging into her bottom lip. “This isn't something you want to alone or...”

“I'm coming home, baby. I already said that. Neither of us are going to do this alone.”

She smiles at that. “How long do you think? That you'll be in New Zealand?”

“Few days. A week at the most. It'll take us a couple days once we get there to track down a location. Unless the IRA can get more info out of McMann before they kill him. And I asked for proof. That he's dead. So we know for sure. So we don't have to worry about showing up on our doorstep a year from now.”

“I'll definitely be able to sleep better at night if I know for sure he's gone. And when you're home and I don't have to sleep in that big old bed by myself.”

“Yeah, that'll be nice. I know I know I'll sleep like shit until I get home.”

“You sleep like shit anyway,” she sniffles.

“Well I'll sleep like bigger shit until I get home,” he chuckles.  “You should go...” he rubs his palms up and down her back. “...Nik's probably starting to get antsy. Your mom picking you up at the airport?”

“Kyle said he would do it.”  The youngest Drummond boy. The only 'non cop'. A firefighter in Denver. For the most part he's neutral when it comes to his opinions on his sister's choice in men and her hasty marriage and pregnancy. But when his mother gets out of hand and he can't handle anymore, he becomes what they call 'Pro Tyler'.  It's mostly to piss her off, but they appreciate the support. And he's a good uncle; taking the time out of his schedule to spend time with his nieces and nephews, unlike the others who have a hard time even remembering birthdays.

“You'll call me?” he asks. “When you get there? So I now you're safe and sound?”

She nods.  “Don't go to New Zealand without letting me know about it, okay? I'm thousands of miles away, but I still like to know where you are and if you're alright.”

“I'll call you,” he promises. “Give the kids hugs and kisses from daddy. Tell them I miss them. That I'll see them soon.”

“I will,” the tears are threatening again. “Be home soon, okay? I'll miss you.”

“I'll miss you too,” he takes her face in his hands and kisses; tender, sweet, long. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Tyler. Please stay safe.”

“Always,” he says, and places a kiss to her forehead before taking a step backwards and watching her as she climbs the stairs to the jet. Smiling when she pauses in the doorway to give him a small wave before disappearing inside.

****

Kyle is already waiting at the edge of the tarmac when they arrive; leaning against the passenger's side door of his pick up truck, hands stuffed in the pockets of his navy blue Denver Fire Department jacket. The third youngest, he's the tallest and biggest of the three boys; just hitting six feet, with broad shoulders and chest and strong, powerful arms. He's the spitting image of their late father; brilliant blue eyes, the same easy smile and witty and sarcastic nature,  the graying hair clipped short to his head in a brush cut. He gives his sister a bright, cheerful smile as she raises her hand in greeting as she descends the jet steps, then hangs back as she and Nik exchange a brief conversation and a quick hug before Nik departs to meet with the waiting 'security experts' she'd assigned to the family.

“Who's that?” he asks, as he quickly strides towards his sister, relieving her of her carry on bag and suitcase. Watching as Nik...in her well tailored charcoal grey pant suit and pink blouse...climbs into the back of a Lincoln Navigator.  

“That's Nik. She's going to be staying at mom's too.”

“Friend of yours?”

Esme nods. “She's also Tyler's boss. Sort of. She's the one that calls him when she has work she needs done.”

“What kind of work?”

“We've talked about this. A million times. Private security.”

“Private security, huh?” he slings the strap of the carry on over his shoulder. “Why do I get the feeling that's code language for something else entirely?”

“It's been five and a half years, K. Let it go.”

“Yeah? Well It's been five and a half years of thinking you're full of shit. Hold up...” he places a protective arm across her stomach when the Navigator comes within feet of them on it's way off the tarmac.  And he notices how Nik is watching them; oversized sunglasses covering her eyes, a slow smile spreading across her face.  “She's cute,” he says.  “Your friend.”

“She's with Mark.”

He frowns. “Mark as in...”

“As in my ex Mark. The Mark who you dragged out of a bed at a hotel in Aspen and beat the shit out of in front of a prostitute. That Mark.”

“He's lucky all I did was beat the shit out of him. I should have killed him. I could have, you know. With my bare hands. I could have honestly killed him. Why would someone like her want to be a dick like him?”

“Maybe she didn't realize that you're single and 'looking to mingle',” Esme playfully digs her elbow into his side. “I mean, what's not to like about you? You're buff, crazy handsome, a firefighter. Chicks dig men in uniform. Even someone like Nik, I bet.”

Kyle chuckles. “Easy now. All I said was that she was cute. I'm not looking for you to hook me up.  Besides, I don't know if I could get with someone that's been with that prick. Not after all the stuff he's done to my little sister.”

“Typical, K. Always the protective older brother.”

“Always,” he declares. “How you doing, kid?” He wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her tight into his side, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Not sure about the red. Never thought I'd see you with that colour. What's that all about?”

“It is a long story that I do not have the energy to tell. But I'm dying it back as soon as I can get to a store and get a box of hair dye. I want this part of my life to be over. It's been a nightmare and I need every memory of it gone.”

“It's hair.”

“And I want it gone. It needs to be gone.”

���We can stop at a store before we get to mom's, if you're that hell bent on changing things. What did Tyler say about? Did he like it?”

“He was okay with it, I guess. He never complained about it. But I just want it gone. I don't like what it represents. I don't want to hang onto those memories. I need this part to be over.”

“This part as in Tyler or...”

“What?” she gives a short laugh. “No. Not as in Tyler. Tyler and I are fine. Sort of.”

Kyle arches an eyebrow.

“We aren't splitting up, so don't get hopeful.”

“Why would I be hopeful? I actually like the guy. I'm the only one who does. Everyone else has their heads so far up mom's ass they just go along with whatever she says. But I think he's  a good shit. It's kind of cool having an Australian as a brother in law. And he's good for you. Good to you. Worships the ground you walk on. And he's a great dad.”

She nods. “He is.”

“But? Why do I feel like there's a but coming on?”

“But, we're having some issues,” she admits.  “Not bad enough for us to call things quits. But bad enough that I had to come home. He's got a lot on his plate. With work. The thing he is working on is stressful and it's taking a lot out of him and he's not doing well. Mentally. I was only in his way in Ireland. He couldn't concentrate on doing his job when he was too busy worrying about me all the time.”

“This all sounds a little ominous,” he loads her things into the back seat of the truck, then opens her door for her, a hand on her elbow as he helps her climb into the seat. “All the more reason I think this private security business goes way deeper than you're letting on. What would he be doing in Ireland that would require private security?”

“Nik has a lot of international clients,” Esme explains, as she buckles her seat belt. “Tyler goes where she needs him.”

“For private security.”

Esme nods.

Kyle shakes his head. “You're full of shit,sis,” he says, and slams her door closed.

****

Their on the highway for several minutes before either of them speak again. Kyle turning down the volume on the radio and then taking a sip of coffee from the take out cup sitting in the holder between the seats.

“You want to talk about it?” he asks. “Whatever is going on? Whatever is happening between you and Tyler?”

She gives a small, almost apologetic smile. “Not really.”

“How bad is it?”

“I already told you. Not bad enough to split us up. There's no reason to hire a lawyer and get divorce papers drawn up.”

“What if I told you that mom's already been on google looking up good lawyers and taking their numbers down?”

Sighing, she shakes her head in disbelief.

“I know,” Kyle snorts. “What a bitch, right? Considering her marriage is a huge dumpster fire. She should be the last person judging anyone for their choices. You know she's convinced that he has women all over the globe? That he's hooking up with different people every place he goes?”

“She's a piece of work. I can't believe I'm willingly going there.”

“Does he? Have different women everywhere?”

She laughs. “No. He doesn't.”

“Is he cheating on you? Is that what the issue is? You found out about it and you're pissed and...”

“Tyler is not cheating on me. Tyler would never cheat on me. In the same way I'd never cheat on him. Why the hell is everyone so against us being together? It's been five and a half years. We have four children together. We are people still so bent out of shape about this?”

“Well you did run off to Australia, meet some random guy, hook up with him, and never come home. First time we're hearing about him is when he's in the hospital near death? In some messed up work related incident? What? What is a work related incident when you're in private security.”

“It's like being a cop. In a way. It's dangerous. Maybe even more dangerous than being a cop.”

“So he's packing heat, then.”

She nods. “And being shot at by other people packing heat. Among other things.”

“And he almost died?”

“Yes. On the job. He was shot...in the neck...and almost died.”

“Almost bled out. In your arms.”

She sighs. “Yes.”

“How the hell would that even happen? Why would you even be there? Where he's working? While he's working?”

“Because I was working too. With him. On the same thing.”

“Wait? What?” Kyle laughs. “I thought you were in Australia on a business trip.”

“I didn't meet him in Australia, Kyle. I mean, I did. In a way. I went to his place in Australia to meet him because we were going to be working together and Nik thought we should meet each other first.”

He frowns. “Nik? His boss? She's also your boss? What? How? I thought you were in business. Why would you and Tyler be working for the same person if he's in private security and you were in business?”

“This is a very long story. And it's weird and it's twisted and it's complicated and...”

“And we've got a two hour drive so start talking,”  he interjects. “What the hell is going on, Esme? Because there is something that you're not telling me. There's a lot you're not telling me. So talk. Now.”

She sighs heavily, chewing nervously on her bottom lip.  “I wasn't in business. I was in intel. I was hired by people like Nik to go places and get information. Valuable information. That no one else was able to get. On people that are suspected of doing some horrible things.”

“Like a spy?”

“Sort of, I guess. I don't know. I would just go where I was sent and weasel my way into peoples' lives and I'd get the information they'd need and then they'd go in and take care of things.”

“They? Who are they?”

“Mercenaries.”

Kyle's eyes narrow.  “Excuse me, what? Did you just say mercenaries?”

Esme nods.

“As in soldiers for hire?”

Another nod.

“You're kidding, right?” he gives a short laugh.  “You've got to be kidding. So what does this have to do with Tyler?”

“Tyler isn't in private security, K. He's a mercenary.”

“What?” he chuckles. “You're really expecting me to believe that? This is all a joke right? Some big joke that the two of you have cooked up to play on mom. Get her riled up. Give her some more gray hair and maybe some heart issues. There's no way you're being serious. Tyler? A mercenary?”

“It's how we met. Nik recruited him for a job that she needed me to take. We were sent to Dhaka.”

“Isn't that the capital of Bangladesh?”

“A drug lord kidnapped another drug lord's son. But Nik couldn't figure out where they were keeping the kid other than somewhere in the market area. So she went me in to poke around and make nice with the locals and see what I could dig up. And she sent Tyler with me to protect me. And to eventually get the kid away from bad guys and home safe to his family.”

“I am having a really hard time wrapping my head around all of this,” Kyle admits, confusing on his face, brow deeply furrowed.

“Tyler and I were pretending to be newlyweds there for humanitarian work. That's how we ended up...well...you know...”

“Fucking,” her brother finishes for her.

“And it went really well until it didn't. Things fell apart on the way to the extraction point. Tyler wasn't able to get there safely because the kid's father sent someone to try and steal the kid off of Tyler and....”

“What the fuck? What are you talking about right now?”

“I'm explaining it to you!” she snaps. “They didn't want to pay Tyler his money so they tried to steal the  kid back and all hell broke loose and we were the only two people from the team that didn't die and I had to hide out in the forest until the coast was clear and then walk back into town to meet you with Tyler and Ovi and...”

“Hold up...just hold up...Ovi? As in Ovi who lives with you?”

“There were cops everywhere,” she continues. “And the cops were in on it. And this drug lord Asif had these street hooligans chasing after us and it was still a big mess, so we had to hide in a sewer and Tyler's friend had to come and rescue us and he took us back to his house and then he back stabbed Tyler and Ovi had to kill him and...”

“Jesus Christ, are you honestly serious about all of this? What the hell, Esme? What in the ever loving hell?”

“...and we had to try and get across the Sultana Kamal Bridge but we needed help so Tyler got the guy that originally tried to steal Ovi back in the first place. And we had to split up and I went with them and Tyler stayed behind and...”  her hands begin to tremble, tears brimming in her eyes. “...and Ovi and I got across okay but Tyler had a harder time and a sniper shot him and get back up and then this kid...this fucking kid shot him in the neck...”  she wipes at the tears that manage to escape. “...and he was bleeding out and I was holding him and I was telling him not to give up...that he'd promised me we'd do all these things together and get to know one another better. And I had to put my hand over his  neck and there was so much blood. There was so much of it and there was nothing I could but watch him die.”

“Okay...okay...calm down..” Kyle drops one hand from the wheel and rubs at the back of her neck.  “Do you want me to pull over? I can pull over. Want me to?”

She shakes her head.  “That's how it happened How it really happened.  That's how Tyler nearly died. When he was stable, they transferred him to Australia and I went with him and I decided to stay with him. I didn't want to leave him there alone. I didn't want him to wake up and not have anyone there for him. So I stayed. And then I realized it was because I was in love with him and I wanted to be with him. And then I found out I was pregnant with Millie. So when he was well enough to be released, we moved in together and he asked me to marry him. That's how I ended up in Australia. With Tyler.”

Silence descends on the truck. Nothing but her soft sniffling and the windshield wipers back and forth as they clear away the light rain that's begun to fall. Out of the corner of her eye, Esme can see her older brother watching her; mouth slightly again, rendered speechless by her incessant rambling. And the hard truths it brought forth. His eyes rapidly -and repeatedly-  flicking between her and the road. Eventually, he pops open the compartment between their seats, pulling out a bottle of water and a handful of fast food napkins, gently drop the bounty in her lap.

“Thank you,” she manages through the remainder of the sobs wracking her body, and when she has a hard time opening the bottle because of the tremors in her hands, he does it for her.  Rubbing her knee softly when she gives him an appreciative smile.

“It's okay, kid,” he says. “Just try and stay calm. Everything's okay.”

“It's not. It's really not K. It's fucked up and it's a mess and I wish we'd never had to keep it a secret. But we didn't have a choice. It was to protect you guys. Just in case someone ever wanted revenge on Tyler. Just in case they didn't go right after him and went after family first.  We didn't want anything happening to any of you.”

“I get that. I do. I understand why you couldn't say anything. But...Esme...what the fuck right from the beginning? Why would you even get involved in all of this? Why would you even get involved with him?”

“It just happened. We didn't go into it wanting it to happen. Or expecting it to happen, It just did. And then it kept happening. For the entire five days we were there. We couldn't stop. And then when the job was done...my job was done...we realized that we wanted to keep seeing each other. We were going to take some of the money we were paid and travel. Spend time getting to know each other. To see if we could have something. Something real.”

“But why?  Why would you want that for yourself? Someone like him? That does that for a living? Something that's dangerous and scary and...”

“Being a firefighter is scary and dangerous,” she interjects.

“Being a firefighter and being a trained killer are two totally different things.”

“He isn't a trained killer. I mean, he is. If he has to be. He kills because he has to. He doesn't do many jobs where he has to kill people intentionally. Like assassinations or hits.”

“Oh my God,” Kyle groans. “This just goes from bad to worse.”

“He mostly does extractions. Like he did for Ovi. He gets hired to save people. And sometimes he kills other people to save them. To save himself.”

“Are you listening to yourself right now? Are you? Your husband kills people. And he gets paid for it. Does that sound at all normal to you?”

“I just told you! He doesn't just kill people. He helps people. Sometimes he has to kill. Especially if it's to save for himself.”

“Jesus...fucking...Christ...” Kyle mutters. “And you're okay with this? That he has to sometimes kill people?'

“It is what it is. It's the job. The people he kills deserve to be killed. He's not killing innocent people.”

“How do you know that? How do you know someone doesn't hire to take out someone that is innocent?”

“Because I know Tyler. And Tyler would not do that.  Every job he takes, he's very thorough and very detailed and he leaves no stone unturned. And he has great instincts and they never let him down.”

“I can't believe you're trying to rationalize this. How long has he been doing this?”

“Since he left the army. So about fifteen years, almost sixteen years, I guess.”

“And he's still doing it ? Even though you guys are married and have kids.”

She nods. “This is his last job. He has two kids he has to be find. They're being held somewhere in New Zealand.”

“And you came home because...”

“Because I knew he wouldn't be able to focus if I was there. That he'd be too worried about me and his head wouldn't be right into the job and those kids need him to be totally on his game. He wouldn't have been if I'd stayed.”

“Why? You're a big girl. You can take care of yourself. What would he be worried about?”

“I'm pregnant,” she reveals.  “He didn't want anything happening to the baby.”

“Esme are you serious? You're pregnant? You're having a baby?”

She nods.

“Holy fuck...” he runs a hand over his hair and down onto his face. “....what the hell have you gotten yourself into? Are you sure? That you are?”

“I'm one hundred percent sure. We've been trying. To have a baby. It's just happened sooner than we thought it would.”

“You're willingly bringing a baby into this goddamn mess?”

“I already have four. Tyler's been a mercenary longer than any of them have been alive.”

“Is that why you sent them away? With Ovi? Because of this mercenary shit?”

“Someone was after Tyler. They threatened to grab the kids and hurt them. So Tyler told Ovi to take the kids and run. To protect them.”

“This is insane,” Kyle breathes. “This is fucking insane.  My brother law kills people for a living.”

“Stop it!” she orders. “That's not all he does. He helps people.”

“I'm going to break his fucking neck. I'm going to hunt him down and I am going to beat the ever loving shit out of him.”

“For what? What has he done? Other than provide for his family?”

“What has he done?” He's gotten you...my sister...mixed up in this bullshit. In this life!”

“He didn't get me mixed up in anything. He didn't force me to stay with him. To fall in love with him. I did all of that willingly. It's not like he held a gun to my head and forced me to have sex with him or to marry him. You can't blame this entirely on him.”

“Like hell I can't! He got mixed up with you knowing what kind of life it would bring you. He could have just walked away and left you alone. And that's what he should have done. Even if you guys just fucked each other and then went your separate ways! But to get you tied up in more than that? Let you get mixed up in that life? He should have just fucked you and left you alone.”

She smirks. “I honestly never thought I'd hear you say that. That a guy should have just fucked your sister and took off.”

“I never thought I'd have to say it. But this isn't a normal guy. He's a fucking mercenary! He kills people!”

“And saves people,” she reminds her brother.

“I don't give a shit. Killing people sort of takes the shine away from saving them, don't you think? He had this life all along and he never should have let you get mixed up in it. If you loved you the way he says he does, he would have cut you loose. He wouldn't have wanted you to live this life. Why would you want this for someone you love?”

“Kyle, I got into this life knowing what he did and knowing what he's capable of. He didn't force me into anything, okay? You can't hold Tyler totally responsible for this. Because he's a good man and he's a good husband and he's a great father. And you can't deny him any of those things.”

“I didn't say he wasn't any of those things. But just because he's those things, doesn't mean he's not a goddamn hired killer.”

“For the last time!” she shouts. “That's not all he does! He helps people! Innocent people like Ovi! And if wasn't for Tyler, I never would have gotten out of Dhaka alive. So you need to shut the fuck about him being 'hired killer' and show him some respect. Because he's so much more than his job. So much more! And if you'd all give him a goddamn chance,  you'd realize that and stop shitting all over him all the time!”

“Whoa...whoa...settle down.  I'm not mom. I don't hate the guy. You know that.”

“He's my husband. He's the father of my children. And I am fucking sick of how she treats him all the time. Because he doesn't deserve that. He's not the horrible person she thinks he is. That she tells everyone he is.”

“I know that.  And I've never thought that about him. Ever. Like I said, he's a good shit. And he treats you well and he treats my niece and my nephews even better. And you know much I adore those kids. Like they're my own. I would do anything for those kids. And they wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him kicking in some DNA.”

“I'm just so tired of her shit and I know she's going to get on a tirade about him and I'm not in the fucking mood to deal with that. I'm worried about him and I miss him and I'm sick all the time and I'm so goddamn hormonal because of this baby!”

“Alright...easy...easy...” Kyle chuckles, and rubs the back of her neck soothingly.  “Just calm down.”

“I don't know what is wrong with me. It is so bad this time around. My hormones are out of control! They've never been this bad before.”

“”You're kidding right? They have been this bad before.”

“When?”

“When you were pregnant with the twins. You were off the charts insane when you were having them. Don't you remember? You were either crying or you were raging. No in between. Who was the one that was there? When Tyler was away? Who came to spend time with you and help out with Millie? I did. I was the one who had to bear the brunt of your hormones. I remember it very well.”

“Maybe I was a little...off.”

“A little off the reservation, maybe,” Kyle laughs and she glares at him.

“You're going be okay, kid,” he assures her. “You and that baby are going to be just fine. And I promise I won't kill Tyler when he gets home.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that. Because I kind of  like him and I like having him around.”

“I may break some of his bones or mess up that face of his.”

“Yeah, not the face, okay? He's kind of nice to look at it and I'd like to keep him that way.  Just don't go off on him. He's having a hard time and he doesn't need that shit. He's trying so hard. To keep his shit together. To keep us together. He's not a bad person, K.”

“I know he's not. And I know he's wildly and crazily in love with you. I've never doubted that for a second. I just worry about you, Esme. This is a hell of a life to be caught up in.”

“He's keep me and the kids safe for five and a half years. I trust him. With my life. With their lives. I'm safe with him. We're safe with him.”

Kyle nods slowly, considering her words.

“I just want this to be over with,” she laments.  “I just want him to come home. And stay home. Is that too much to ask?”

“You'd have to ask him that. Does he want to give it up?”

“This is his last job. He's done after this. And it's time. Because it's starting to break him down. I hate what it's doing to him. What it's doing to us.  I just want him home.”

“Soon,” Kyle says. “I'm sure whatever he's up to, it'll be over soon and he'll be back. He'll come home, kid. You know he will.”

She nods in confirmation, then leans the side of her head against the cool glass of the window. Seeking some relief for the overwhelming fear and loneliness threatening to swallow her whole.

[chipmunkfanno1love]

Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure Speculation: Varian and Vex Shipping

Though Varian has often been shipped with Cassandra, lately it has been a mixed bag of very strong opinions regarding the ship, especially some negative ones about Varian being too young for Cassandra who is in her 20’s while he’s in his teens. Personally I don’t have a problem with them becoming a couple, so long as they wait until Varian is legally an adult (such as it was with Ferb and Vanessa in “Phineas and Ferb”). I could see them as a couple if the creators of the show flashfoward to the future with an older Rapunzel and Eugene are telling their story and the fates of their friends to their children.

Personally I want to keep out of the arguments, and talk about this from a purely fictional opinion. While I do think Cassandra and Varian had great chemistry together in “Great Expositions”, so far Varian’s feelings for Cass are just an innocent crush (I even heard a rumour that Chris Sonneberg said it wouldn’t go any further than this) which Cass doesn’t requite. So I think the chances of these two becoming a couple, even when Varian’s older is pretty slim. Still, I do hope these two become friends again.

Anyway, the point of my topic is to bring up a potential new love-interest for Varian, and while I am pretty open about his love life and who his future girlfriend could be, I’m pretty keen on this ship I’m about to suggest.

The ship is between:

Varian

and

Vex

I imagine this ship is going to have a lot of mixed feedback. Some may not like it because they’re strong for the ship between Cassandra and Varian, while others won't like the ship because they simply don’t like Vex. Hear me out though, here are some good reasons why I think Varian and Vex could make a good couple.

1. The two appear to be close in age to each other. I imagine they’d be some cute teenage romantic tension between these two. It would be adorable to see the growing puppy love (which may eventually blossom into true love) between them.

2. Vex seems to me like a younger counterpart to Varian’s old crush, Cassandra, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Varian becomes attracted to her. Plus the fact that they both look up to her could give them something to bond over (though it might also cause some jealousy too if Vex develops a crush on Varian).

3. I get the feeling that Varian is attracted to tough women. While his crush on Cass was partly to do with her saving his life, I also think it could be that he admired her for her strength and courage. I reckon if he got to know Vex he would come to admire her own strong qualities. Perhaps like Cassandra before her, Vex could also learn to admire Varian’s compassion and smarts (though she may find his optimism annoying at first). I reckon in time these two opposites could attract.

4. Both are former juvenile delinquents of sorts, what with Varian taking over and almost destroying an entire kingdom, stealing a precious ancient relic, not to mention kidnapping Queen Arianna and later attempting to murder her and Cassandra. While Vex as far as I know hasn’t done that, she had her fair share of crimes including bribery and playing part of a kidnapping. Plus who knows what else (her selling weapons suggests a few possibilities). Over time I can see these two learning to empathise with each over their past crimes and connect over their desires to redeem themselves in their current roles, e.g. Varian in helping Princess Rapunzel and Vex in being Deputy to Captain Quaid the Sheriff of Vardaros.

Fun Fact: I reckon their ship name could be V.V (Varian and Vex). Unless of course Vex isn’t Vex’s real name. I believe she could have changed her name, much like two other former criminals we know (Eugene and Lance).

-

Here are several movie and TV couples that I think could be good examples of how these two could interact as a couple and/or even friends:

Zuko and Mai from “Avatar: The Last Airbender

The one thing I have noticed is that Varian and Zuko’s falls from grace and eventual redemption stories have a lot of similarities to each other, especially since they both had something to do with their estranged relationships with their fathers’ (though I am no way saying that Quirin is cruel and abusive like Lord Ozai was). Both are also rebellious risk-takers who want to do the right thing but often take misguided actions which have terrible consequences to them, though both are eager to make up for their past mistakes and help their respective main character (Rapunzel/Aang) in their destiny. Of course, nerdy alchemist Varian is much more friendly, optimistic and clumsy compared to the hot-tempered, moody and athletically-inclined Fire Prince turned Fire Lord, Zuko. Still, he certainly has his angsty moments which are very similar to Zuko’s. 

I think it makes sense that Varian gets a girlfriend with a lot of similarities to Zuko’s girlfriend, Mai. Mai and Vex are certainly similar in the sense that both are moody, cynical action girls who both seem to have trouble expressing their feelings. Maybe Vex’s cynicism is the result of growing up in her rough town. She had to be tough in order to survive, plus there is a hint that maybe she’s an orphan, so there’s potential that she could be carrying a lot of emotional baggage and even fears of abandonment. She probably pretends not to care about anything because she’s scared if she does she’ll get hurt, similar to how Mai pretends not to care because she was taught to repress her feelings from a young age by her controlling mother.

Either way, like Zuko and Mai, I think both Varian and Vex could bring the best out in each other. Varian could help Vex to open up more, while Vex could help Varian recover from his past wounds (in her own Vex way). I’m sure she can empathise with Varian’s dark past as she wasn’t always on the right side of law herself, or at least her neutral siding didn’t exactly make her stand out as a good guy, until she made the decision to become Captain Quaid’s deputy and therefore firmly planted herself on the good side.

I can definitely see Varian and Vex having a fight similar to Zuko and Mai’s during the party scene of “The Beach”. Also I can also see Vex wearing the pants in the relationship like Mai does (Mai’s warning to Zuko in the series finale never to break up with her again sounds like something I imagine Vex saying to Varian). I believe they will show affection to each other in the same way Zuko and Mai do. This confession of love from Mai sounds like something that Vex would definitely say herself: “I don’t hate you.”

-

Wednesday Addams and Joel Glicker from “The Addams Family Values”

A lot of people have compared Vex’s looks and personality to Wednesday Addams from The Addams Family franchise:

While I certainly won’t deny the similarities, I believe that Vex was inspired by Mattie Ross from the 2010 version of the film True Grit:

Nonetheless, I can’t deny there are similarities between Vex and Wednesday. I just hope Vex isn’t quite as morbid, lol. Still, I do wonder if the writers do bring in more of the similarities into later episodes (if Vex does make future apperances).

Personally I don’t find that Joel Glicker was the most well-developed character ever. He was more the overprotected nerdy boy who fell for the dark gothic girl. Still, I guess that Varian has similarities to Joel in the sense they are both nerdy characters who are a little insecure and intense (though I do hope Varian has better self-esteem than Joel). I think it would be funny if Varian had a reaction to seeing Vex for the first time similar to Joel’s when he met Wednesday. Somehow I doubt it will happen, but it’s still funny and kind of cute at the same time

Wednesday meets Joel. See 1:59 to 2:17:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us3JQh-m2FM&list=PLlXqHikVVQDQerwZg0GuBzJPXel5MIPHi&index=6&t=142s

I wouldn’t call Wednesday and Joel’s relationship the best, and I certainly wouldn’t want the ending of their relationship to happen between Varian and Vex, but underneath all the morbidity and insecurity, I think there’s a lot of cute moments between these two. They are definitely an interesting example of opposites attract, plus there is some adorable awkwardness between them that I think could be brought to Varian and Vex’s relationship. I personally see Wednesday and Joel’s relationship being an example of how Varian and Vex’s friendship and eventually relationship starts out, perhaps even hinted at as spoof material within the show.

Some examples could be Varian attempting the “yawn and stretch move” on Vex, but she holds up a knife and says “Touch me with that arm, and you’ll lose it.” or simply “Don’t even think about it.” causing Varian to fearfully back away from her on the seat. Though perhaps Varian does something that really impresses Vex, whether it’s showing his braver, angsty side (which I believe that Vex would find attractive) and/or he uses one of his inventions to help the town of Vardaros. Because Vex is a little reluctant to show she’s impressed, she simply says thank you and a half-hearted comment to Varian for his good work. Though Varian can tell that how moved Vex is from a small smile she shares with him and a sign that she’s warming up to the possibility of being affectionate with him, as shown by Wednesday here:

Even Wednesday and Joel’s farewell and first kiss I could see Varian and Vex spoofing, though in their own individual way.

Wednesday and Joel’s first kiss

https://youtu.be/ZibUVA54BWY

So while I hope they’re not exactly like this couple, it would be cute if we saw some spoof references like this. :)

-

Arnold Shortman and Helga Pataki from “Hey Arnold!”

I’ll be honest with you guys, I’m probably one of the few people who hasn’t seen the most of the Hey Arnold! TV series and movies. I’ve only seen a few episodes. Still, from what I’ve seen of these two, they seem to have similar personalities to Varian and Vex, plus I imagine their relationship being similar too.

Like Arnold, Varian is friendly, optimistic and always there to help out his friends. While Helga and Vex are similar in that they are both tough, aggressive girls who don’t like to open up about their feelings.

I could definitely see Vex being rather mean to Varian at first, calling him “dork” or “nerd”, but overtime maybe she’ll start to lessen up on the insults and starts to respect Varian for his smarts and the positive affect his inventions could possibly have on Vardaros, though she still keeps him at an emotional distance due to trust issues, and it will probably take a bit of time but perhaps Varian’s mixture of kindness and tough love towards Vex could eventually be the thing that slowly breaks down her emotional walls.

I could probably see Vex developing a crush on Varian (though perhaps not as obsessively as Helga though) but has a hard time showing it. She’ll probably show him affection by punching him in the arm, which is meant to be friendly but hurts because Vex is stronger than she looks.

Maybe she might convince Captain Quaid to give Varian a job as the Alchemist of Vardaros, saying that he can help the people of Vardaros with his inventions and alchemy. Though this is possibly true, I believe she would more suggest the idea to Quaid so she can convince Varian to stay in Vardoros. Varian considers the offer, partly because he believes he can be helpful to the people of Vardaros and the other half because he’s starting to fall for Vex and wants to stay with her. I think he turns down the offer at first (which will probably hurt Vex) but promises he’ll return to visit once he’s helped Rapunzel achieve her destiny and reunite her with Cassandra. Though he may even decide to stay in Vardaros as their professional Alchemist after the mission is finished, eventually becoming Vex’s boyfriend.

-

A bonus unofficial couple I could compare them to is:

Hiro Hamada and Karmi from “Big Hero 6: The Series”

There’s no denying that Hiro and Varian are very alike. Both are intelligent and creative child prodigy inventors who are both adorkable and clumsy. Both have lost and/or almost lost family members, and as a result have almost committed murder in order to avenge their loved one’s, though have tried their best to make up for their past mistakes. They are also the one of youngest in their respective group of friends (though not quite with Varian as Keira/Angry and Catalina/Red have now officially joined the group and are a few years younger than him).

While Karmi is rather different from Vex, they do share anti-social and moody tendencies. Deep down underneath their moody exterior though, both have the drive to do the right thing.

Like Hiro and Karmi, I could imagine Varian and Vex having a rivalry of sorts during their first meeting. Perhaps Varian gets jealous over Catalina (Red) and Kiera (Angry) looking up to Vex over him as an older sibling/mentor figure due to them respecting her “tough as nails woman” exterior. Also maybe Vex could get jealous if Quaid starts paying more attention to Varian and his inventions, e.g. maybe he could invent a special smoker to calm Quaid’s bees, impressing the Captain of Vadaros greatly and gaining Vex’s envious resentment.

Over time though, like Hiro and Karmi, these two could learn to respect each other and their talents, eventually forming a friendship, which over time shows signs of romantic attraction between the two teens.

-

Even if Varian and Vex don’t become a couple, I would still love it if somehow they did meet on the show and eventually become friends. I’m sure it would be cool to see how they interact with someone in their own age group.

What do you guys think? I’d love to hear your feedback, but please refrain from harsh negativity.

[auradonuniversity]

Meet The Credulous. They’re the child of Mother Gothel, a sophomore at Auradon University and hails from The Isle. Some say they look like Natalia Dyer and they’re TAKEN.

Name: Eleanor (Elle) Gothel

Age: 20 years old

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Ace/Aro

Occupation: Library Assistant

Sports and Clubs: Dance, School Website, Hospital Volunteer Group, Rushing Theta Pi

Major: Astronomy (B.A.) and Music (B.A.)

Biography

Elle Gothel never would have even dared to dream that one day she’d be attending Auradon University. Growing up as one of the Gothel twins, one would think that Mother would have learned her lesson about keeping the TWO children she was somehow allowed to have as shut-ins… but not quite. Eleanor and her brother weren’t locked in a tower (no such structure actually existed on the Isle), but they were heavily encouraged to find ways to entertain themselves at home that were culturally enriching. While her brother had his books, Elle took a different approach.

The stars.

There’s something comforting about looking up at the stars and knowing that people who have been in and survived much worse situations have looked up at and sought strength from the same constellations. It’s enough to keep someone going even in the roughest situations, if they’re open to it. Obviously, Elle has always been open to it.

Being a negative ten on the bad scale, Elle began searching for signs that everything would be okay before she could even possibly begin to comprehend what she was doing. She was a cheerful child, with way too many imaginary friends considering the fact that she had a twin brother around who she could actually talk to, but even now she’s retained that positivity. Back then it was the only way for her to get through the day; she had to believe that everything happened for a reason and the universe had a plan, because otherwise she’d be nonstop questioning why bad things happened to good people (her, obviously). If she (and the stars) didn’t tell herself that everything happened for a reason and she’d be okay, then who would? Nowadays, her carefully constructed upbeat facade isn’t going anywhere. And neither is the fact that, by her own admission, she can occasionally make… quite poor choices.

Blame the optimism! The first friend she ever somehow managed to make ended up being a dud that got her into some pretty big trouble on the Isle, but hey, at least they introduced her to classical music and the piano, two major factors in her life even to this day. Everything happens for a reason and you will be okay. Good behavior from her major mistake moment onward didn’t exactly help when the Auradon University pilot program began, but now that she’s been accepted for the second year of it, able to do what she loves with her newer (but not, like… brand new) best friend leading the way, there’s no way true happiness isn’t in her future.

Character Traits

positive: positive, trusting, loyal negative: clingy, dependent, quixotic

Headcanons

Elle is enamored with the idea of dating (and love!), but is not so much interested in the execution. She knows her fragile heart couldn’t really take the heartbreak of a truly loving relationship crumbling… and she also deep down is aware of the fact that she’s never liked anyone enough to even consider using dates as anything other than an opportunity for a free meal and a chance to improve her lacking socialization skills

There hasn’t been a DNA test or anything, but on some level Elle has always sort of questioned whether or not Mother Gothel IS her mother. There’s no denying that she and her brother are for sure twins, but… Gothel stole a child once. She could do it again.

Though she and her brother aren’t close, she got really used to being around someone else all the time on the Isle, and now she desperately seeks a general life companion at all times. She may be independent from her family members, but she’s co-dependent with her friends, latching onto them and essentially letting them take the wheel.

It’s something she doesn’t even question doing, either. She trusts anyone she considers a friend implicitly, and though that’s backfired on her here and there, she’s never going to let that change. If you can’t trust your friends, why are they your friends?

Elle is an art appreciator, but is definitely not an artist. Her drawing skills are permanently at the level of stick figures, birds in the shape of v’s, and trees with holes in them for no apparent reason. It’s something she’s always wanted to get better at, but finding expression through dance and music has allowed her to put that off for as long as possible.

Connections

The Bellwether: The Credulous and the Bellwether may have almost opposite personalities, but they get along surprisingly well. Maybe it’s because in the Credulous, the Bellwether has found someone eager to influenced or maybe it’s because in the Bellwether, the Credulous has been given some direction, you’d be hard pressed not to find one within the vicinity of the other.

The Bibliomaniac: They may be twins, but the Credulous and the Bibliomaniac have never truly gotten along. They’re very different people who have been doing their own things for about as long as they could remember, and that’s definitely how they prefer things. However, deep down they do care about each other. Maybe someday they’ll show it.

The Dreamer: The Dreamer was the first person from Auradon to show the Credulous any amount of kindness, and the Credulous has sort of latched onto that. They’re definitely still acquaintances at the moment, but the Credulous makes sure to say hello whenever the Dreamer is around, and is actively pursuing a friendship.

[secretceremvnials-blog]

( daisy ridley, cisfemale ) MARINETTE BEAULIEU, the GIRL ON THE PEDESTAL, is TWENTY-THREE and a SOPHOMORE. She is majoring in LAW. In addition to being Quentin’s UNATTAINABLE FANTASY, they are part of the Imperium Society. Marinette was probably selected because she is a FAMOUS AUTHOR. They remind me of LONG SKIRTS, YELLOW POST-ITS, and A CERTAIN JE NE SAIS QUOI.

I’ve had this baby since about last November, and I’ve written her in many different ways — this particular version is an AU divergent from my novel universe where I’ve primarily written her — but she’s probably my favourite character I’ve ever created and I love her dearly, so I really hope you love her too. 

Why the late start?

Well, some would certainly ask this question, and they’d be right to be curious. Marinette’s late start at university has to do with her writing career, which has included dabbles in screenwriting and an experience assisting with artistic direction on London’s West End. While this has all proven very lucrative, it’s always been Marinette’s goal to find something stable to complement her wife — a highly famous Italian-French actress — and properly ensure they can support her future children; so, while at Ashcroft, she’s working on her next book and a law degree. There are author-politicians, so why not author-lawyers?

RANDOM NOTES

FULL NAME: Marinette Océane Katarin Beaulieu

AGE: Twenty-three

DATE OF BIRTH: 11th October, 1995

PLACE OF BIRTH: Paris, France

ORIENTATIONS: Homosexual / homoromantic

CURRENT RESIDENCE (OUTSIDE TERM DATES): Marseille, France

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Married

MBTI: ENFJ-T (The Protagonist) — 92% Extroverted, 73% Intuitive, 82% Feeling, 69% Judging, 97% Turbulent

ENNEAGRAM: Two, with a Three Wing (The Hostess)

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Hufflepuff

THEME SONG: The New Great Depression by The Moth & The Flame

ZODIAC SIGN: Libra (sun), Scorpio (moon), Virgo (rising)

PERSONALITY, BACKSTORY + ALL THAT GOOD MCSHIZZLE

- she's the youngest child of five — as far as anyone knows — and known to be the golden child, her father's favourite. if there are a french family comparable to the kardashians, it's this one

- she's twenty-three + a sophomore. she started uni v late because she's been pursuing a career in writing and artistic direction, which has included on the west end, but she's studying law because she wants something that's concrete / totally secure

- she doesn’t need to. her book series (mostly based on her life, though few people have figured this out) are incredibly popular and a company has brought the for-tv rights.

- her connection to quentin is his 'unattainable fantasy.' he knew about her, and she was one of those . . . far-off fantasy crushes who you doubt you're ever really going to meet... until she turned up at ashcroft to study, but also as a married woman, and an out lesbian.

- her wife is a famous actress who's living in london while marinette studies

- this is . . . literally to a fault, she doesn't know how to prioritise herself even for one minute. you'd not know it from looking at her unless you know her really well, but her self-esteem is actually just: none

- she has an absolutely AMAZING facade of happiness a lot of the time

- a lot of it comes from the fact her older siblings very much resent her. her age gap with them is considerable, and she's never had a functional relationship with any one of them.- her father always kind of put her on a pedestal (hence 'the girl on the pedestal') so she's always felt a pressure to impress people, to make them like her.

- but this favouritism... completely fucked over any chance she might have ever had at a proper family relationship.- and if that wasn't enough for her, her mother outright despises her. and isn't exactly quiet about it

.- marinette assumes this was because she was reluctant to have another child, but what no-one of them except her mother knows is it is because marinette is actually the only true-born child of her marriage- the other four are all by her sister's husband, nikolaus, a german ceo who she slept with at her sister's engagement party.

- she's always grown up with this atmosphere of wanting to keep the peace to make up for the turbulence of her home life, and keep her father proud of her, because she is terrified of what life will be like for her if he suddenly wasn't (she's never known anything else.)

- a lot of the time it led to marinette kind of... excluding herself to keep the rest of them happy.- and from all this comes  her tendency for self-blame. if something goes wrong she WILL blame it on herself even if it makes completely no logical sense to do so.

- at one point she was coerced into getting engaged to an english nobleman's son — mostly her mother's idea — but by that point she'd been in a relationship with a girl (her childhood sweetheart) for some years. so she came out and got engaged to her, marrying her at the age of seventeen: the one thing she's ever done just for herself regardless of her father's opinion

- she is the GREATEST french patriot. you literally cannot ignore how incredibly proud of her country this woman is

PLOTS MAYBE?

CRUSHES — obviously, these are unrequited on marinette’s end ( she legitimately refuses to exist without luce ) but i’m totally down for anyone to have a thing for her !

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND — marinette’s best friend from when she was growing up. probably the only one who knows the real dark truths of her life, the only one whose shoulder she will cry into when she’s feeling broken. 

EXCITABLE FANS — anyone who might know marinette from her family’s fame, her career as a famous writer, or even from her work on the west end ! these characters would be really eager to be in marinette’s friendship circle.

ANTAGONISTIC PLOTS — marinette really doesn’t respond well to people not liking her, so it’d be interesting to see her squirm.

FAMILY ACQUAINTANCES — people who she knows through her family. they can be really close through this or they can be really stilted, we can work this out !

BAD INFLUENCE — someone who is trying to lead the golden child off the rails. 

ROOMMATE — self-explanatory. ( taken by lissa! )

ACADEMIC RIVAL — especially if they study law, the defence to her prosecution. the competitive element in her quest for success. 

[catty-words]

true happiness is so neeeeaaaar

a special thanks to @bethanyactually for reading this over and @notbang for talking some of this out with me. 💖

During my latest watch of Crazy Ex, I kept an eye out for the first time each character breaks into song without Rebecca present or directly involved. It’s well-covered ground that her arrival in West Covina sent ripples through our cast of characters. Inspired by Rebecca’s pursuit of happiness, they started asking themselves—consciously or subconsciously—what would make them happiest. So when does each of them adopt her musical lens, and how does the song they sing inform their journey toward happiness?

Greg – Not surprising considering he wears his unhappiness on his sleeve, Greg is the first one to break into song without Rebecca in episode 1.06 with “What’ll It Be?” The song isn’t really a revelation because there’ve been plenty of hints at just how dissatisfied he feels with his life. Greg hates West Covina (as evidenced by him telling Rebecca it’s not a compliment that she’s starting to fit in around town) and he hates the circumstances that he feels keep him from making any meaningful changes (at the party in the first episode he wastes no time complaining to Rebecca about missing out on Emory because of his sick dad).

Still, “What’ll It Be?” acts as Greg’s thesis statement for that unhappiness. Despite knowing exactly what it is that’s causing his unhappiness, he feels powerless to change it, instead blaming outside forces for keeping him in his current situation. “Hey, West Covina, look what you’re doing to me.”

The unfortunate part is that Greg himself is actually the largest obstacle standing between him and happiness: not his dad, not his job, and not the people of West Covina. His dad, while he seems to appreciate Greg’s presence and care, has clearly decided he’s going to pursue his vices instead of actually maintaining his health. Since he doesn’t actually need to be looked after—he’s made the conscious choice to be unwell—he gives up Greg pretty easily when the time comes in 2.02. Though Greg asserts that he’s going to be upset by his leaving, Marco’s behavior (i.e. chastising Greg for wasting his savings on him because he was supposed to use it for school) actually point to the fact that he’d be happy to see his son leave even back in 1.06.

As for his job, yes, all food service professions suck on a certain level, and Greg’s certainly not getting rich for the drudgery he has to endure. However, in 1.06, we see that Greg’s attitude is really what makes the job such a drag. Kevin, his boss, is in fact a pretty understanding and amiable guy. He takes feedback well and genuinely wants his employees to succeed. The fact that Greg feels so smothered there has as much to do with how he approaches the situation as it does the nature of the job itself.

Finally, the people of West Covina/the town itself only seem like they’re keeping Greg trapped because he actively dismisses and looks down on it all. In reality, the people he associates with most closely—White Josh, Hector, Rebecca, and again, even his father—actively encourage Greg to make changes with an eye toward pursuing business school, as well as call him out on his most destructive behaviors. It’s just that Greg can’t take their encouragement at face value because he’s dwelling on the negativity in his life and can’t seem to break that habit.

Of course, alcoholism plays its part in the unhappiness equation, and that’s no small thing. But, again, that’s something Greg has to deal with and overcome internally. It has little to do with his external circumstances, as the Greg who’s singing “What’ll It Be?” would have us believe.

It makes sense, then, that when he finally takes ownership of his hand in his own shitty situation, he’s able to break the pattern and actually pursue the career of his choosing. He removes himself from the environment that tempts him back into stasis and takes control of his life. No longer feeling powerless, Greg is at least on the path to knowing happiness.

Paula – Paula’s the next one to get caught up in the music with “His Status is Preferred” from 1.07. On the surface, this song seems like a trite expression of unhappiness, of simply wanting a more exciting life, but, as we know, the situation’s a lot more nuanced than we think.

During the course of season one, it becomes clearer and clearer that Paula’s over-involvement in Rebecca’s pursuit of Josh has more to do with her than it does Rebecca and Josh being genuinely good for each other. I believe 1.03 is the first time we see Paula and Scott interact and boy is it uncomfortable. Scott is distracted, Paula’s passive-aggressive, and the kids are a mess.

The further we move into the show, the more we understand Paula’s state of mind. She’s been raised to believe that starting a family is the most important thing she’ll ever do (“My dad was right, I’m a breeder not a leader”), but she feels very disconnected from both her kids and her husband. Part of the reason is that she thinks she missed out on her fairy tale romance, so how is anything she actually built supposed to compare to that? On some level, Paula’s always living in a fantasy realm where everything worked out with Jeff and she’s truly happy.

It should be pointed out, though, that while Jeff gives Paula’s yearning for something different a face, the problem itself is not specifically that man. Any fantasy would do in keeping Paula from fully accepting how her real-life relationship played out. In point of fact, Calvin fills that role here in 1.07. He’s just another expression of Paula chasing a fantasy to avoid dealing with her reality.

As such, Paula’s just as much a product of the damaging “patriarchal love narrative” as Rebecca. The notion that real and true love is all about the spark, that it’s a force of nature you can’t possibly fly in the face of, that it’s something easy and all-consuming keeps her from doing the hard work necessary to maintain a relationship with her husband and family. And, because she feels the spark with Calvin, she gets caught up in the fanciful notion that being with him will make her feel happy, important, and valued — “My whole life has been stuck in economy, I have waited and waited to someday be upgraded, to spread my wings and fly…”

Of course, we have Rebecca swoop in and point out that Paula’s pursuit of Calvin isn’t an authentic or healthy remedy to her true unhappiness before anything regretful happens. Because it’s Rebecca imposing her own revelation on Paula though, this is far from the last time the issue comes up. At this point, Paula hasn’t learned the lesson herself, and she needs to fumble a little more before she does.

We still haven’t seen the final resolution to this conflict, and I don’t think there will be one scene or moment that wraps it up with a nice bow. Deep-seated issues like Paula’s unhealthy relationship to what it means to be a mother and a wife don’t simply go away. 3.07 showed us that she’s mindful of what her patterns are, but we have yet to see evidence that the work is being done to avoid falling back into them. She’s finally let go of the fantasy, but that doesn’t mean she’s ready to feel content with reality.

Valencia – In 1.09, Valencia is the next character to break out into song by herself with “Women Gotta Stick Together.” When I first sat down to write this meta, the fact that Valencia was the third most affected by Rebecca’s pursuit of happiness seemed surprising. They have such a complicated, antagonistic relationship at this point, it’s kind of jarring to imagine Rebecca having a hand in connecting Valencia with her happiness.

Upon further reflection though, it makes perfect sense. Valencia has constructed a life that makes her so deeply unhappy, of course Rebecca swooping in and going after the foundation on which Valencia’s built her on-paper fantastic life would bring all her dissatisfaction to the surface. “Women Gotta Stick Together,” then, is Valencia’s acknowledgement of everything that keeps her feeling trapped, just buried under a few layers of satire and subtext.

You see, Valencia is a classic case of how female socialization teaches us to view all other women as threats because we’re competing for male attention, and this perceived competition has kept her from truly connecting with other women. However, as we know from her interactions with Rebecca in 1.02 and her eager initiation into the #GurlGroup4Evah, Valencia actually craves female friendship above all else. She regrets losing her high school friends because she was given male attention instead of them (read: sexually assaulted, yikes). She is willingly wooed by the potential relationship with Rebecca even though she was clearly skeptical about ulterior motives. And she throws herself into the group activities—embracing everything from going to the bathroom in pairs to awkward sex toy parties with vigor.

So, even though she’s using satire to mask it, Valencia definitely desires the picturesque, supportive relationships she describes in the beginning of the song: “Females helping females for the greater good. Sisters helping sisters, that’s called sisterhood.” Unfortunately, at this point, she’s also unable to get past her compulsion to attack and belittle every other woman with the end goal of proving she’s the most desireable.

It should also be noted that Valencia’s wholehearted acceptance of the competition narrative is born of her need to ignore her attraction to other women. Though I personally think Valencia’s coming out arc was a travesty because it was handled so poorly, it still confirms in canon that her relationship with Josh was a big, honking example of a woman struggling with compulsory heterosexuality. For evidence, look to V’s 2.05 speech about how she knew the relationship was dead a long time ago—she felt it necessary to keep pushing this relationship forward without love and affection from Josh because a) love and affection was not actually what she wanted from any man and b) she feared having to adapt to the change and examine her life if her and Josh broke up, forcing her closer to the truth that she’s a lesbian—and the scene between Valencia, Josh, and Beth in beginning of 3.12 where it’s revealed that Valencia had a problem with Josh touching her but has no such reservations when it comes to Beth.

That being said, her constant putting down of other women and their appearances functions as a way for Valencia to distance herself from her attraction. It’s easier to remain locked in competition and criticize other women’s bodies than it is to accept her attraction. (Valencia’s clear overcompensation is the reason it’s totally OOC for her coming-out process to be easy and easily glossed over.) But, of course, without acknowledging her true self, Valencia can never be truly happy with her relationships.

Finally, “Women Gotta Stick Together” hints at the unhappiness Valencia feels trying to live under the pressure to look physically appealing to men. There are clear mentions throughout the series of Valencia’s disordered eating (in 1.06 with the “I’ve been starving since 1998” line and plenty of dialogue in 2.05 and 2.07, to name just a few examples). Not only is she overcompensating for her attraction to women by dissecting their appearance, she’s overcompensating for her clear discomfort with her own body by building herself up in relation to how much skinnier she is than her “competition.” Not only is she starving her physical body of sustenance, she’s starving herself of the chance to be content.

Darryl - In 1.10—consequently, right after he spends time with Rebecca socially for the first time by crashing her bus trip to the beach—Darryl gets his solo number. “Having a Few People Over” is far from the deepest song the show’s ever done, but it is still a very clear statement of Darryl’s unhappiness.

The man is obviously lonely, and he tries way too hard to manufacture interpersonal relationships he feels will assuage his loneliness. He’s constantly pushing a friendship with Paula despite her implicit and explicit desire not to have one. He inserts himself into Rebecca and Paula’s private conversations because he wants so desperately to be involved. In 1.10, he hires a bunch of escorts so the guys won’t be bored enough to bail on the evening. He even goes so far as to bully Maya because he sees the same unflattering desperation in her.

And the fact that he tries so hard, that he uses flashy bells and whistles to attract people to him, shows a deep dissatisfaction with who he is at his core. Darryl doesn’t think that his personality, alone, is enough to earn the bond and acceptance of friendship. He feels he has to dress up his company in something fancy—like, say, an EDM song—to be good enough.

Because this is such a consistent character trait of his, I was disappointed with the framing of his season three storyline. At this point in his life, Darryl has forged more meaningful bonds than he had before with White Josh and the people at Whitefeather. I wish the writers had taken the opportunity to let Darryl explore why he still felt so unhappy with his interpersonal relationships, gone more of a “if I still feel lonely with WhiJo around, if i feel like I need to manufacture a more serious relationship with a baby, what would it actually take for me to find happiness?” route.

Heather - Heather is just about the last person to break into song without Rebecca present with “Don’t Settle for Me” in 1.13. As possibly the most self-examined character on the show, her expression of unhappiness has nothing to do with internal conflict. Instead, she expresses dissatisfaction with her situation. Heather knows her worth, and won’t allow Greg to keep them both in a relationship if he’s not being honest about his intentions.

Interestingly enough, though Heather has an identity crisis in season three because she likes being a student, the arc of her conflict centers on her not knowing what the world has to offer her besides the opportunity to learn. While the character feels unmoored from her identity, she still approaches the situation with a kind of self-assuredness everyone else lacks. Her unhappiness in season three, again, has more to do with external circumstances than deep-seated emotional trauma or hangups.

And it’s fitting, then, that the resolution to this specific storyline is that Heather creates her own place in the world. She sees an opportunity and takes the chance to become gainfully employed at a job that still allows for creative expression through the various hobbies and special interests she wants to pursue.

Josh - Pretty much for the opposite reason as Heather, Josh is the last main cast member to get his own musical number with 1.17’s “Angry Mad.” The reason he’s so late to join everyone else in their examination of unhappiness is because Josh is typically pretty satisfied. He’s not looking for any deeper meaning or purpose. All his conflict in season one is surface stuff, like feeling too adult to celebrate Christmas.

And even when he does start to feel unhappy about something—i.e. losing Rebecca’s affirming attention and affection when her focus shifts to Greg—he doesn’t have the self-awareness to really explore what’s at the root of that emotion. He’d rather not acknowledge or face the problem head-on. As a result, “Angry Mad” expresses that Josh is unhappy because he’s unhappy instead of taking a closer look at why seeing Rebecca with Greg makes Josh uncomfortable.

This inability to take stock of his life definitely bites Josh in the ass more than once. It’s what gets him in over his head with Rebecca in season two. It’s what leads him to leave Rebecca on their wedding day instead of calling off the wedding (or perhaps never proposing in the first place). It’s what stops Josh from taking action to halt his downward spiral in season three because the poor oaf doesn’t even realize he’s spiraling until it’s too late.

That being said, season three did a major disservice to what little interiority the character had. I hope season four regains some focus when it comes to Josh, and he’s at least set on the path toward understanding himself and his needs better.

Nathaniel - Finally, we have our late-comer Nathaniel. It takes him eight episodes to get a solo without Rebecca being there with the 3.03 number “I Go to The Zoo.” This puts him right between Paula and Valencia in terms of how long it took Rebecca to influence his worldview enough to get him breaking into song.

Not surprising considering he’s one of the most emotionally stunted characters, his big number is essentially about retreating into childhood comforts when he’s feeling upset. The thing is, while Nathaniel’s trying to find solace in the simplicity, his upbringing is also the source of his unhappiness. His withholding parents never gave him the tools he needed to process his feelings and deal with them healthily. The effects of this have reached well into his adult life as he seems incapable of forming lasting, meaningful bonds with any person—from his disinterest and mistrust of long-term relationships in season two to his series of dick moves with Mona in season three.*

Even his interactions with Rebecca, the person who he confesses makes him want to be better at feeling his feels, lack authenticity eighty percent of the time. His confession of love in 3.04 is an inarticulate mess that devolves into a tangle of misused cliches. He’s clearly working off the Patriarchal Love Narrative, trying to be the definite-article Love Interest, instead of allowing himself to have a genuine moment with Rebecca. In the season finale, their duet is, at least on one level*, a big long joke about how little progress Nathaniel has actually made in accessing his emotions and feeling more empathetic.

Though he’s made progress toward being more open—look to the final scene of 3.06 or even his confessions during the masquerade—he still can’t seem to consider how his actions or emotional needs might affect others. Once, he might have considered this machiavellian approach to interpersonal relationships a strength. Now that he’s found some people he really wants to form lasting emotional bonds with, though, it’s the weakness that’s standing between him and happiness.

*I’d like to clarify that I’m not trying to make the argument that Nathaniel’s upbringing in any way justifies his behavior, especially when it comes to the affair, but it does give us at least a better understanding of his motivations, a clearer lens through which to view the character. And I think that’s another important element of Nothing is Ever Anyone’s Fault. While taking empathy for people’s trauma to the extreme makes it almost valueless and a mockery of itself, the ability to understand why people behave the way that they do is fundamental to liking any of the characters on this show. The line that you have to walk, then, becomes messy and complicated, but it makes for a truly fascinating look at human nature.

[dweemeister]

2017 Movie Odyssey for-fun awards

The 2017 Movie Odyssey Awards are being posted sometime soon, but, as is tradition on this blog, here are some for-fun honors and dishonors based on a year of watching 200+ films that were new to me this calendar year.

Actor I wanted to smack most in the face: Mark Wahlberg, The Happening (2008)

Good lord, he was AWFUL. “Planning on murdering me in my sleep?” “WHAT, NO!” Here’s Wahlberg talking to a plastic tree.

Attempted political messaging, but says less than it wants: State of the Union (1948)

Frank Capra, you are better than this!

Attempted religious messaging, but says less than it wants: Conflagration (1958, Japan)

Best Film Title: What Dreams May Come (1998)

Best individual cue from an original score: “End Titles” from Independence Day (1996), composed by David Arnold

Best lyrics passage from an original song: From “No Wrong Way Home” from Pearl (2016 short)

One blue-green world, round as a pearl, doesn’t matter which road you take, you’ll wind up in the same place. That’s not philosophy, it’s geometry, and if things don’t look the same, well it’s only you who’ve changed.

There’s some interesting messaging and rhyming going on here. Damn.

Best Moment: An act of sportsmanship, followed by a grandstand finish, Akeelah and the Bee (2006)

If you have kids and they haven’t seen this movie, find this movie. If you haven’t seen this movie, find this movie.

Best Montage: Body-switching and “Zenzenzense”, Your Name (2016, Japan)

Best Movie Dad: Raymond from My Life as a Zucchini (2016, Switzerland)

The first non-biological father to win here, I think. It matters not, though. He is wonderful here.

Best Movie Family Member, non-parent: Aunt Mattie (Clara Blandick), A Star Is Born (1937)

For supporting Esther’s dreams of going to Hollywood without fail. You go, Aunt Mattie. She really is not in this movie long enough.

Best Movie Mom(s): All of the Boatwrights (Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, and Sophie Okonedo) and Rosaleen (Jennifer Hudson), The Secret Life of Bees (2008)

Again, a first in that these are adopted parents. Thanks to a good friend of mine for introducing to me the book.

Best on-screen friendship: The friendship between all the orphans in My Life as as Zucchini

Best use of non-original music (and best musical callback to a past movie): The many uses of “You’ll Never Know” from Hello Frisco Hello (1943) appearing in The Shape of Water (2017)

Hello Frisco Hello remains on my watchlist… we’ll get there someday!

Best dance segment (for two): Rita Hayworth and Fred Astaire in “I’m Old Fashioned”, You Were Never Lovelier (1942)

Best dance segment (solo): Donald O’Connor in “A Man Chases a Girl (Until She Catches Him)”, There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954)

Best sword fight: Errol Flynn v. Basil Rathbone, Captain Blood (1935)

Yeah, sorry folks who expected Rey and Kylo Ren v. Praetorian Guards or Kylo Ren v. Luke here.

Bestiality: The Red Turtle (2016, France/Belgium/Japan)

SPOILERS!!!

Biggest Disappointment: Marnie (1964)

Oh god, this may be the first Hitchcock movie I truly loathed (nor do I think it will be the last… I’ve basically seen all the greats by now).

Biggest (pleasant) surprise: Pear Cider and Cigarettes (2016 short)

I was worried about the explicit content for this Oscar-nominated short film, and that it might meander around its topic a bit. But no it didn’t. Well done, well deserved nomination.

Biggest (unpleasant) surprise: Detroit (2017)

It becomes torture porn in the final third. The black victims are not nearly developed enough here as they should be.

Bloodbath: Logan (2017)

Is it the movie with the highest body count? Maybe not, considering I saw both Independence Day movies this year. But it was certainly bloody!

Bravest: Parvana, The Breadwinner (2017)

Going full-out Mulan to help her family survive in pre-American invasion Afghanistan? I was astounded by Parvana’s resilience.

Don’t take opiates, kids: Pink Floyd - The Wall (1982)

Greatest Discovery (Actor): Pierre Étaix, Yoyo (1965, France)

Greatest Discovery (Actress): Brooklynn Prince, The Florida Project (2017)

Greatest Discovery (Director): D.A. Pennebaker, Don’t Look Back (1967) and Monterey Pop (1968)

Hardest ending to watch: The Coward (1965, India)

Satyajit Ray pulling no punches here.

Hypnotic: Notes on a Triangle (1966 short)

A beautiful experimental animated short film. Someone’s going to connect it to the Illuminati or some vast Canadian conspiracy somehow.

Kept me on the edge of my seat: Seven Days to Noon (1950)

A Cold War thriller at the very beginning of the Cold War has so much going for it than so many modern thrillers can never hope to achieve.

Kick-ass moment: This riding scene from The Man from Snowy River (1982)

I’d like to see a chimpanzee with dual-wielding machine guns do that! Make it happen, 20th Century Fox!

Laziest (not worst) film title: Summer Magic (1963)

I mean, the songs are decent and Hayley Mills is, too. But come on, Disney!

Least funny comedy: That Funny Feeling (1965)

Least likely to deserve my negative review 10 years from now: Justice League (2017)

Because you know Zack Snyder will find a way to screw the DCEU up even more.

Least likely to deserve my positive review 10 years from now: I have a hunch it’s gonna be Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)… but I don’t want that to be official here.

Line I will repeat the most down the years: “Apes. Together. Strong.”, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) and War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

Made fashion designers compelling: Funny Face (1957)

Most Inspiring: Swim Team (2016)

A documentary that follows three members of a New Jersey Special Olympics swim team. All those kids have autism, and it is fantastic to see them learn, grow, and live over time. It isn’t a Hoop Dreams, but it doesn’t need to be.

Made me laugh the most: Blackbeard’s Ghost (1968)

And I’m not ashamed to say that. It’s not the best comedy by any means, but I got more laughter and mileage out of this one than anything else.

Most Memorable Use of an Icepick: Scarlet Street (1945)

Don’t spoil if you know!

Most Overrated Picture: Manchester by the Sea (2016)

Casey Affleck had no business winning that Academy Award.

Most Underappreciated: The Great Man (1956)

In our world of “fake news”, this movie - which also comments on how we idealize our heroes - has many echoes on today. It’s a good journalism/news media movie, even if it’s concentrated on early TV and especially radio.

Most Underseen: Bardelys the Magnificent (1926)

A good, entertaining adventure-romance silent film with John Gilbert and Eleanor Boardman. The reason why it’s underseen was because it was considered a lost film until recently, when a near-complete print turned up in France.

Movie I most wished to write on, but wasn’t able to (because I ran out of October to do it): A retrospective on Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) and regular reviews for Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) and War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

Movie that I’m most eager to rewatch: Castle in the Sky (1986, Japan)

There was so much going on, and so many departures from Nausicaa that I need time to do a Retrospective review on this some day. It’s a gorgeous film.

Nearly resulted in someone killing me in a theater: In This Corner of the World (2016, Japan)

Yeah, if the main character had gone to Hiroshima, I would have been a goner (and it wouldn’t have been by my own hand).

Raunchiest: Destry Rides Again (1939)

Holy hell. There are so many entendres in here, and Marlene Dietrich is going all out on the sexuality! How did this get pass the Hays Code?

Sorry, I didn’t get it, and I still don’t get all the love for David Lynch (even though Mulholland was great): Eraserhead (1977)

Sounds most like a porno (other than Octopussy because that’s too easy): Peeping Tom (1960)

With apologies to Michael Powell.

Star Trek alumni award: Patrick Stewart, Logan (2017)

Surprisingly relevant political commentary: They Won’t Forget (1937)

Northern-Southern attitudes in the United States? Even a touch of racial relations? Now if only Warner Bros. kept the defendant in the movie Jewish, as he was in real life.

Underrated: Lonely Are the Brave (1962)

One of the best neo-Westerns you are likely to see.

Worst film title: The Hound That Thought He Was a Raccoon (1960)

For chrissakes, Disney.

Worst Moment: All the rapey-ness of Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

It reminded me why the 1980s is in contention for my least favorite decade of filmmaking.

Stay tuned, the 2017 Movie Odyssey Awards will be up shortly! Thank you all for following. Thank you all for being here for as long as you have. Thank you for supporting all this blog does.

[imagine-it-like-this]

Title: Secrets Relationships: Rowena/reader Genres: Drama, Hurt/Comfort Warnings: Fluff Rating: T

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I don't know what made me think this would be a good idea. Crowley, while somewhat softened by that whole human blood fiasco (turns out, demons tend to be pretty chatty when you toss them the right hex bag. Who would've thought?) , was still the King of Hell, one who could hold a centuries-old grudge. There was no way he was going to release Rowena to my custody; not if I asked nicely, and definitely not if I tried to threaten or blackmail him into it. He could kill both me and her with a snap of his fingers without giving it much thought.

I had to tread lightly.

I told Rowena to be wary of her son and the Winchesters, yet somehow she always ended up being roped into doing their bidding. It was always the same thing. She'd say no, they'd capture her, she'd go free, and then I would be forced to listen to hours–long tirades about how awful they all are and how she was going to kill them the next time she saw them.

She never acted on her threats, and each and every time it was me who had to reassure her that yes, she was perfectly capable of killing them, and no, being captured didn't make her weak.

Even if it did, I wouldn't mind.

Since the moment I asked her to mentor me, I thought of her as more than just a teacher. She was my best friend, an ally a rookie witch could only dream of. And, if I had any say in the matter, a lover.

I chuckled at the thought. As if someone as powerful as Rowena would ever lower their standards to settle for me. She was honest with me from the very beginning. She couldn't love, she couldn't care, and she certainly had no intention of learning how to anytime soon. Love is a weakness, she claimed, and she much preferred power and control over weakness that came with emotions.

There weren't many things we disagreed on, and this was one of them. I believed in love. I believed in happiness and redemption and a better future. Rowena always found it funny, calling me naïve and saying I would change my mind when I grew older.

Perhaps I would. That didn't change the fact that I loved her and wanted her in ways I knew I could never have her.

And honestly, who could blame me? She was a lot older than me, yes, yet somehow that rich life experience of hers made her all the more appealing. She was one of the most powerful witches alive, and I couldn't help finding it adorable how such a tiny person could possess such devastating power.

Her hair was the most beautiful shade of red I have ever seen, and there was no greater joy than when she let me play with her bouncy curls in times when I needed comfort. Running my fingers through those soft, silky locks calmed me down, and Rowena, enjoying my compliments, was more than eager to sit beside me and allow me to caress her hair as I told her of all my woes.

For someone who couldn't love, she was a surprisingly good listener, and an even better comforter. Her sweet tone of voice, alongside a casual "dear" and "darlin'" calmed me down like nothing else.

Voices echoed in the dark, gloomy corridors I was walking through; Crowley's was soft, completely uncharacteristic for him, while Rowena's had that usual sternness, hissing out words and breaking at certain points.

Was she crying? She couldn't be. Rowena never cried, not unless she needed tears for manipulation.

I thought I'd heard it wrong, but when she continued, my suspicions were confirmed. I couldn't make out what she was saying, but there indeed was a tinge of weakness in her tone.

A pang of pain shot through my heart, instantly replaced by anger. What did he do to her? Did he hurt her? I knew the possibilities to inflict pain on her were endless, what with that witch catcher he'd snapped around her neck, but a part of me still hoped he'd show her at least a tad bit of mercy. She was his mother, after all. A terrible, neglectful one, but his mother nonetheless.

I told her not to do this. Told her to stay out of it, to let them deal with Lucifer on their own. But, being the power–hungry bitch she was, she couldn't miss a chance to meet the dark prince himself, in his own flesh and blood. I told her that he was dangerous, warned her to stay away, but she wouldn't listen. She never listened.

It was hard, watching her swoon all over him like a teenage groupie at her favorite boy band's concert, but I didn't dare protest much. My feelings for her had to be kept secret. If I kept pestering her, suspicion would arise, and I couldn't have that.

If she was to find out what I truly felt for her… I couldn't even imagine what her reaction would be. Rejection, for certain. She'd probably laugh in my face and call me stupid for allowing myself to fall for the likes of her. And maybe she'd even tell me to leave.

I couldn't have that, not now when I was doing so well with my magic. Not now that I had her trust, her friendship. I could live with being just her friend. As long as she was with me, teaching me, encouraging me, romance didn't matter. What did matter, however, was her having my back and me having hers.

Which was why I was here in the first place. Out of all places I've been to, Hell ranked amongst the top ten worst ones. I usually preferred the dark, but there was something about these grim, torch–lit halls that made me feel uneasy. Perhaps it was all the sulfur smell left behind by its demonic inhabitants. Or the fact that this is exactly where I would end up once I'm dead.

"Castiel?" I heard Crowley ask just as I was about take a turn for the room they were in, and frowned, confusion spreading across my face. What was the Winchesters' lapdog still doing here? He usually never left their side and, being an angel, wasn't exactly fond of Hell.

The angel let out something akin to a snort and, in a maniacal voice completely different from his usual gruff one, said: "Guess again."

"No," Crowley said, his voice strangely frightened.

It was only when Rowena spoke that the reality of the situation dawned on me, and I clasped a hand over my mouth to suppress a scream that threatened to tear from my throat.

"Lucifer," she purred, not even attempting to hide her admiration.

I pushed myself up behind the nearest wall, one hand covering my mouth, and the other pressed against my chest, feeling my heartbeat whose pace was rapidly increasing, thudding against my chest loudly enough to echo. My body shook like crazy, all control lost in an instant as fear overcame me, rushing through my veins like a highly addictive drug.

She couldn't have done that. She couldn't have. Not after everything I told her, after I made her promise she wouldn't do anything stupid.

Why? I thought. Why would she do this? Why would she break the promise?

Because she doesn't love you, the sane part of my mind said.

Because she loved him.

That thought alone was enough for my eyes to well up with tears.

"I'm back, baby!" Lucifer beamed, prompting Rowena to let out a joyous gasp.

"It can't be," Crowley said. "You finished the spell."

"But if he was already in another vessel…"

"Loophole!" Lucifer said cheerfully.

"Bloody hell," Crowley swore.

I didn't think there would ever come a time when I would agree with Crowley, yet here I was, doing just that.

A sound of steps echoed, then something, presumably a body, connected with a wall, falling to the ground with a loud, painful thud.

"Ooh, Rowena," Lucifer said in a flirty manner that made me both sad and angry.

I took a cautious peek inside, tears falling freely at the sight of her walking over to him. No, my mind begged. Don't do this. Don't trust him.

"My liege."

No. I swallowed back a painful squeal, pressing my hand over my tightly shut lips with all the strength I could muster.

"You know," Lucifer said, cautiously approaching her, "what you've done for me, I'll never forget it."

"It was my honour."

She looked at him with utmost devotion, the way she looked at me in all my wildest daydreams. It broke my heart to see her so flustered over a man who would never love her, a man who didn't give a damn about her. The look on his face was surprisingly easy to read. He was using her, and he didn't bother to hide it. Her devotion had blinded her to the obvious, and I could tell he was enjoying getting her hopes up.

He was going to hurt her. I knew he was. He was going to do something to her, and the worst thing was, I couldn't move a muscle. My entire body froze in its place, still like the statues adorning the halls.

"Yes," Lucifer said, removing the witch catcher and tossing it onto the nearby table. "It was. You deserve a reward."

He gently tapped her nose before lowering his finger to her lips.

"Or some little token of my affection."

Rowena whimpered, letting out a breathless: "I… Thank ye."

A tinge of jealousy squeezed at my heart, followed by a fresh stream of tears sliding down my swollen cheeks. He didn't deserve to touch her like that. He didn't deserve to be near her.

It should have been me. I should have been the one to caress her, to tell her sweet lies. I should have been the one she looked at like that.

Not him.

Me.

I gulped as he leaned in to kiss her, and let out a sigh of relief when he backed away.

"Oh, just one teensy, tiny little question. Can anyone else open the cage?"

Say yes! Please, say yes!

"Just me."

Damn it!

I took in a deep, steady breath, in a futile attempt to calm my trembling body. This wasn't going to end well. I knew it wasn't. He was going to hurt her.

With dread written all over my face I watched as Lucifer's lips twisted into a crooked smile.

"Good," he said

Rowena shot him a smile of her own, relaxing under the tender caress of his hand on her neck.

He leaned closer, resting his cheek against hers.

No, I thought. Please, no. Don't do this.

Throughout the barely lit hall, Rowena's eyes found mine and her smile widened. She gently nodded at me, ignoring the wild shakes of my head, ignoring the tears that stained my face.

It's okay, she mouthed.

It wasn't. Nothing was okay. I gave my head a few more shakes, making it perfectly clear that I disapproved. She was foolish for trusting him. I loved her with all my heart, cared about her in ways I've never cared about anyone in my life, but I couldn't forgive her for this. She'd done a bad thing, and she was going to pay.

If being a witch has taught me anything, it's that karma is a cold-hearted bitch.

Rowena knew she could count on me, just like I knew I could count on her. I've always been on her side, stuck by her at her worst, gotten her out of trouble more times than I could count. Not once have I complained. Not once have I found it hard or wanted to back out.

Now a part of me wished I've never allowed myself to fall for her.

If I didn't love her, watching her be used by the man she worshipped, the man I envied more than anything in the world, wouldn't have hurt as much.

If I didn't love her, letting her go wouldn't be as hard.

Just as the thought passed, a spine–chilling cracking sounded and my eyes widened at the sight before me. Rowena's head flew sideways, Lucifer's hands tightly gripping her neck. In a swift move he released her, letting her limp, lifeless body collapse to the ground.

Both my hands covered my mouth as I swiftly backed away, huddling against the wall. Careful not to make a sound, I slid to the ground, choking back the sobs that arouse from within me.

She wasn't gone. She couldn't be. Not after everything we went through, after all the promises we made. She was supposed to teach me magic, make me into a witch as strong and powerful as herself.

Squeezing my eyes shut for a short moment, I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. Who was going to tease me now? Who was going to greet me after nights of heavy drinking and, in a heavy, incredibly charming Scottish accent, wish me a good morning and bring me tea and healing potions?

Who was I going to love from afar, growing silent hopes of my feelings being returned?

There was no one left for me anymore. I had no family and no friends. The only other people I knew were the Winchesters and Crowley, and they weren't the kinds I wished the associate with.

Rowena was all I had. Ever since I met her, my life had a purpose, a meaning, something I've been lacking all throughout my childhood. There was always someone better than me, someone stronger, more talented. To hear her say I was better than them, that I had something they didn't…

It was wondrous!

And now she was gone like dust blown away by a gust of wind, along with all my hopes and dreams of a better future.

Maybe she was right. Maybe I really was naïve to think I could ever have a bright future. People like me – loners, outcasts – rarely had one.

Was there even any point to being a witch anymore? I had no one to teach me, no one to show me how to improve my natural talents.

I was a beginner, a mere nothing.

With her I had hopes.

Now I was back to square one.

I heard Lucifer mutter something to Crowley, and then the two of them exited the room, leaving the gate agape. I pressed my knees to my chest, curling into a fetal position, praying to all deities I could think of that my presence goes unnoticed.

My prayers were answered.

I waited until the sounds of footsteps faded before cautiously tiptoeing into the fire–lit room. I froze at the sight of Rowena lying motionless, her skin paler than usual, with her head facing the wall in an unnatural position the mere glance at which sent shivers down the back of my neck.

"Rowena?" I whispered through shivering lips, taking a slow, careful step forward.

I knew she couldn't answer, but I needed to try. I owed her that much for letting her die.

I knelt down next to her, taking her outstretched hand into mine. I flinched at the coldness of her skin, used to its usual soft warmth. The gold nail-polish still adorned her perfectly manicured fingernails. It was me who got her to try something different, picking out a random nail–polish color off the shelf of one of the stores we visited and daring her to pull it off, teasing her that she couldn't.

She more than just pulled it off. She rocked it!

"I'm sorry," I said, my thumb caressing her soft skin. What I wouldn't give for her fingers to squeeze mine just one more time, for her eyes to flutter open and lock with my own, so I could say the proper goodbye. "I love you."

Letting out a pained whimper, I brought her hand to my lips and pressed a light kiss atop it.

"I'll never forget you. You will always be my girl that wasn't really mine. I love you so much, Rowena. Always will."

All of a sudden her body stirred and I let out a shocked gasp, releasing her hand. My eyes widened at the sight of a purple light that trailed up from her leg before finally settling on her chest.

Taking a deep, sounding breath, she shot up into a sitting position, snapping her neck back into place with a crack that sent cool chills down my spine.

This can't be real, I told myself, trying my hardest to maintain my calm demeanor while my insides raged like a thousand storms. This can't be happening! Still, I kept my eyes on her, not daring to blink, not daring to make a simple move for the fear of her disappearing if I was to do so kept me frozen in place.

"Rowena?" I said softly, the word barely leaving my shock–constricted throat.

She frantically looked around before her eyes finally settled on me, allowing relief to replace the panic on her face.

She softly whispered my name, and then her eyes narrowed in fury as she hissed: "Where is he?"

"He's gone."

Without thinking of the consequences, I threw my arms around her, wrapping her in a bone-crushing hug. I didn't care how it was possible for her to be here again. I didn't care that my secret was in danger of being revealed. The only thing that mattered was Rowena; her safety, her life.

"He's gone," I whispered, over and over again, tears falling freely down my reddened face. "He's gone…"

It took a moment for Rowena to recover from the shock of my sudden actions. Her arms soon found themselves around me, rubbing gentle, soothing circles on my back.

"I'm sorry," I wept. "I'm so, so sorry."

"What're ye apologizin' for?" she asked, genuinely confused.

"I should've tried to save you," I squeaked.

"My sweet girl," she cooed, her voice sweet, nurturing, like that of a mother soothing her frightened child. "There's nothin' you could've done."

"I just stood there and watched."

The guilt will follow me to the grave.

"Ye kept yerself safe." She took a breath before continuing. "Ye were right about him. I should've listened."

"It doesn't matter. None of it does. What's important is that you're here, you're alive, and I love you so much. I thought I'd lost you and now you're here, and I don't ever want to be away from you again!"

The confession slipped from my lips before I could process what exactly I was saying. I didn't care if she rejected me, not anymore. She could send me away all she wanted; she could curse me out and laugh in my face, but she would still be here, among the living, and that was what mattered the most. Even if I didn't have her, even if I had to leave, I would know that she was safe from any harm.

I could live without her as long as she lived.

She withdrew from the hug, looking me in the eye. "What did ye say?"

"I love you, okay?"

There was no going back now. The least I could do was stand strong, show her that I meant every single word. If one thing was for certain, it was that she mentored no coward.

"I love you. I know you can't love me back, but I needed you to know that. You mean so much to me. When he… when he killed you, it was like my entire world fell apart. I've never felt more alone than when I thought I'd never see you again. You're all that I have left and the thought of living without you drives me crazy. You can laugh and say I'm naïve, but I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore. You're here and I love you. That's all that matters to me, the rest of the world be damned."

For a while she said nothing, just stared at me while I wiped the incoming tears with the back of my trembling hand, futilely, for more would come rushing after every batch I'd wipe.

Then, her hand reached for my face, the softness of her palm caressing my tear-swollen cheek. "Don't cry, darlin'."

That only made me cry more.

"Shh," she cooed, her finger tracing one of the tears that glistened on my cheek. "How long have ye felt like this?"

"Since we met," I admitted.

Rowena's face softened, taking on a guilty look. "Ye kept it a secret all this time?"

I discerned a hint of pride in her voice. She was impressed, I realized, and my heart jumped with joy. She wasn't laughing. She wasn't calling me names.

She was, I noticed happily, genuinely proud of me for managing to keep such a huge secret to myself for so long.

"You always said I was naïve for being so optimistic all the time," I explained. "I thought, if I told you how I really felt, you wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore. I thought you'd tall me to leave, so I decided to keep quiet. I didn't want to lose you. But now… I couldn't keep it in anymore. Almost losing you made me realize that I could live without you as long as you're alive."

"Nobody's leavin' anybody," she assured me.

"Aren't you freaked?" I said, trying to hide my surprise. Out of all scenarios I've thought of, this was one that I couldn't have conjured in my wildest, craziest dreams. To think she would be so calm, so damn understanding…

I never pegged her for such a gentle soul.

"Now, why would ye ask that?"

"Well, y'know… you're my mentor. My friend. I mean, if my friend", if I had one, save you, I thought bitterly, "told me she's in love with me, I'd probably be a little freaked."

"I'm not," she chuckled, waving off my concern. "I'm flattered."

I frowned. "You are?"

"Aye. No one has said they loved me in a long time. I almost forgot what it's like to hear those words."

"Is it good?"

She nodded. "I have to tell ye, I–"

"I know you can't love me back," I cut her off, pulling on a small smile. "It's okay. I understand."

"It's not that. I'm very fond of ye, Y/N."

My heart swelled with joy. "What about Lucifer?"

A look of pure anger flashed over her face at the mention of his name. "Lucifer," she spat his name, "was a mistake. An infatuation."

"I saw the way you looked at him." A tinge of jealousy crept onto my tear-stained face. "You never looked at me like that."

"Aye," she said, "I haven't. I allowed myself to fall for his lies."

She gave my cheek a tender tap.

"Ye're the only one who's never deceived me. I don't say this much, but I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I whispered softly. "Everything's okay now."

"I can't promise ye I'll be able to return yer feelings, but know that out of everyone, ye're the only one I'd trust with my life."

"That's enough for me," I told her. It was, in all honesty, more than enough. I shot her a grateful smile. "Thank you."

"It's nothin', dear."

I pulled her into another tight hug, burying my head in the crook of her neck. "Don't you dare leave me again."

"I don't plan on it."

"How did you even come back?

She rose up her dress, revealing a long, crooked scar along the upper side of her thigh. "It's a Resurrection Seal," she explained. "When you've lived through what I have, you learn to be prepared."

I reached to touch it, running my finger over the protruding bit of skin. "Does it hurt?"

"Not anymore."

I nodded in understanding. "Why didn't you tell me about it?"

"It was a secret," she said guiltily. "I suppose I should have told ye."

"Yes, you should have."

It came out a tad harsher than it was supposed to and I instantly felt bad. As angry as I was, the sane part of me knew she had no ill intentions. It was, after all, supposed to be a secret. The less people that knew, the better.

Still, that didn't change the fact that, despite admitting to trusting me with her life, she never once thought it important to mention that she had a failsafe in case things went south.

"No more secrets, okay?" I asked, prompting her to give a decisive nod.

"I promise."

There wasn't a shred of doubt that her words were true. It was sudden, but she really had changed. She wasn't the same person she was a mere few hours ago. This was a new, better Rowena I was talking to, and I knew, I knew it with all my heart, that she wasn't lying to me.

"Can I have one of those seals?" I asked. I was in no hurry to die, especially now that I had a chance to win the girl of my dreams.

"Of course," she said.

"Will it hurt?"

"Not as much as death."

She had a point there.

I let out a small chuckle. "We should go before he comes back."

She instinctively looked around. "Where did he go?"

"I don't know, but he could be back anytime. We wasted enough time already."

Talking about our feelings. In the very heart of Hell, no less. At the very least we weren't cliché when it came to location. How many people can say they professed their love in Hell?

Rising to my feet, I helped Rowena get on hers, my hand tightly squeezing hers. Feeling brave, I leaned in and pressed a light kiss to her cheek, shooting her a bright smile.

She frowned, a small, playful smile creeping onto her lips. "What was that for?"

I smiled. "Everything."

[charityburbcge]

CHARITY BURBAGE is AN ORDER MEMBER in the war, even though HER official job is as MUGGLE LIASON OFFICE EMPLOYEE. the TWENTY-FIVE year old PUREBLOOD is known to be ENCOURAGING and FAITHFUL but also SENSITIVE and SCATTERBRAINED. some might label them as THE CREDULOUS. fc: haley lu richardson.

Hi y’all! It’s me, Faye, coming back at ya again with another child. I’ll be honest, this got pretty long and it’s a lot of word v*mit considering I barely scratched the surface. Sorry in advance!! Tbh, please feel free to skim or ask for a summary of her if you don’t wanna read it all.

family,

Louisa Burbage — Mother, healer, put the stars in the sky. Will expand on her later.

Augustine Burbage — father, potioneer, the best man she knows. Will also expand on him later.

Justice Burbage (I headcanon that his fc is Justice Smith bc irony) — Older, halfblooded half-brother from her father’s relationship prior to his marriage to her mother. Being raised to buy into the pureblooded ideals, the couple was a scandalous one, especially given they had a child out of wedlock. They were young and in love, but sadly, all good things must come to an end. Not long after the birth of their son, she passed due to complications in labor, leaving him with a child he never planned on. Instead of resentment fueling him, he carries on in the name of his lost love and their baby, vowing to work every day for the rights of halfbloods. His marriage to Louisa, another like-minded pureblood, had nothing to do with their blood status’ and everything to do with what was in their hearts. They were in the same year at Hogwarts, the same house, and had dated in their youth; their eventual re-connection  took in Justice like he was her own, refusing to raise him any differently than any children she were to have. When Charity comes along, they truly become one happy family. She loves her brother with everything in her, and he’s part of the reason she was so steadfast in her decision to join the Order.

She comes from a relatively small family on both sides. This is her hell, considering she’s so family-orientated.

childhood,

Unlike many pureblooded children around her, Charity’s early life was not spent in and out of lessons, being trained to be the perfect representative of her family. There were no events, or expectations, only love and light.

Though the Burbage’s had money and rarely did she want for anything, she and her brother were raised quite humbly. Their estate was comparably smaller than that of their peers, and for as much money as her parents brought in, they donated nearly as much back into the community. 

From a very young age, Charity remembers her parents both being outspoken allies of muggles, muggleborns, and half-bloods. Because of this, she was raised with tolerance and inclusivity in mind. 

They have a House Elf called Winky, affectionately named by the siblings because of the perpetual twitching in her right eye. More than anything, she acted as a nanny to them when they were growing up, but now that both children are out of the house, she looks after the house while Louisa and Auggie are away.

Her first signs of magic came through when she encountered a bird with a broken wing at age five, which healed itself not long after she scooped it up into her arms. Fussing over it being in pain and trying to get her mum’s attention took longer than the actual healing once she’d calmed down.

With their work as healers, her parents had the tendency to be away for lengthy periods at a time, leaving their two children to their own devices. They developed a very close relationship as a result, which only grew stronger during their years at school. The year that he left for his first year at Hogwarts was, however, very difficult for her to handle. It was her first time being truly alone since birth, so she did not cope well (pls give me a childhood friend connection!!).

hogwarts years,

Her sorting into Hufflepuff was as accurate as it was exciting, because to her, no better house existed (srsly, the only superiority she believes in is that Hufflepuff is The Best™, no question). Her parents were both in the house, as was her brother, which made her feel closer to them and like she was carrying out a family tradition of sorts.

There was not a single person that she did not try befriending during her time there, like tbh the girl would befriend a statue if at all possible. This 100% got her into trouble, considering she generally lacks the necessary instincts to stay away from people who would be no good for her.

As much as she wished she could have joined the Quidditch team, her uncoordinated, bumbly self would never have made it past the first tryout. 

Instead, she occupied a passionate spot in the stands and was an outspoken fan. Please picture with me a quiet, polite Charity loosing her damned mind during a match.

Even though getting in trouble utterly terrified her, the girl served her fair share of detentions. The reasons varied, but typically the cause was her hexing her more...intolerant classmates.

Admittedly did not make the best grades, which boiled down to testing anxiety and insecurities about her intelligence. Where she was capable in class, when it came to sitting down for her OWL’s and NEWT’s, she struggled immensely.

Her best classes were Herbology, Potions, Charms, and Muggle Studies (that she later goes on to teach ofc!! fun, fun, fun), everything else was very much hit or miss.

She tested at NEWT level in her stronger subjects, which was the only thing that kept her parents off her back when transitioning from school to the work force.

present day,

Her recruitment to the Order came almost immediately after her graduation, with full support from her family, who are avid supporters.

She’s really not sure if she has any real use to the cause, but she certainly tries her best to help out wherever needed. 

Is currently apart of the Muggle Liason office, which is, as far as she’s concerned, the best branch in the entire Ministry.

I mean!! Dealing with Muggle-Wizard relations? WHAT A DREAM! 

Her work is meaningful to her, especially when she actually gets to interact with muggles on memory modification assignments.

She bought a small, secluded cottage in London with part of her inheritance, partly to be close to work, but also because she wanted a place far enough away from the general public if ever a situation arises that people need a safe (and convenient) place to hide.

personality,

Kind, gentle, soft, dedicated, passionate, thoughtful, stubborn.

She’s a certified Mom Friend™ and proud of it.

Would literally go to any length necessary if it means keeping those she cares about safe.

Charity’s also got to be one of the most attentive people when it comes to her friendships and loved ones. She is always taking time to spend time with them no matter how busy she may be, will stop whatever she’s doing if they are in need, and gives the best gifts. Her philosophy is that if she’s got to spend her money somewhere, it may as well be on

That same naivety that got her into trouble growing up has ABSOLUTELY stuck with her into adulthood.

She tends to see the best in people, even those who don’t deserve a moment of her time. 

She’s enthusiastic, eager to please, and wildly ambitious; both at work and in her personal life.

Is very, very protective of muggles/muggleborns/haldfbloods. She doesn’t believe in violence as the answer, but hates the prejudice against them even more. If she sees anyone being mistreated, she definitely steps in ready for a fight. 

facts/misc info,

WAND: Hawthorn wood with a unicorn hair core, 11" and quite bendy flexibility.

PATRONUS: Though she has yet to actually attempt casting the spell beyond a classroom, her Patronus would take the shape of a Fox Terrier. 

CHARACTER TROPES: The Idealist, Nice Girl, Running Gag, To Be Lawful or Good, Workaholic, there are more but I’ll never get off the trope site if I keep going.

CHARACTER INFLUENCES: Leslie Knope, Kimmy Schmidt, Peggy Carter, April Kepner, Phoebe Buffay.

[byvenomssweetsting]

🌒 Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon

Act 3 - The Third Senshi Is the Miko Named Rei

Ami's first time at Sailor HQ

Lol @ this quiz

Aw poor Usagi she is so eager but is flopping

It's nice that the details are finally being laid out on the table though.

Rei is sensing evil

I wasn't expecting the leaf monster to have robot arms lol

Aw Usagi doesn't like scary stories.

Ami wants things to be secretive

Wait Luna is away some place? Did I miss that being said before or is this the first time it's mentioned?

Rei!! Their first meeting!!!

Oops lost her bracelet.

So leaf monster is an aeroplane? Okay then.

Usagi got so creeped out she didn't even get to give the bracelet back.

Sailor V!

So Luna went to see her it seems

Damn an angry mob

Usagi disarms the mob with her smile lol

Ah so that's how the victims are connected. Well done Ami.

lol damn what an ugly wedding dress

Rei spotted on the scene

Get those leaves Rei!

They got sucked into a portal with Ami left behind

Hmmm maybe areoplane is really a wind turbine??That would make more sense.

there is so much twirling in these fight no wonder sm is popular at balls.

Rei's bracelet is a magical item

No wait it still looks like a fucking aereoplane

Rei's first transformation!! They kept the petals!!

I thought it was cool too Usagi.

First attack move is a giant fire ball.

Ami has made contact and the portal is open again.

Oh shit

Thanks tuxedo Mask.

Now they're all out of the portal/dimension/whatever

He looks great walking away.

Aw she cried. I'm happy for her.

lol Rei is not here for karaoke or friendship.

Act 4 - Sneaking Into the Party!

Trying to figure out what to do with Rei while sipping mocktails

Queen Beryl is so camp lol

Hey Nephrite.

Usagi is excited to party

Bumps into Momaru again

I think this is the first time the show has directly connected Mamoru to Endymion and to Tuxedo Mask. even though the audience went in knowing they were all the same person they never laid it out plainly like this before.

Also it just now hitting me that the reveals of Negaverse agents coincides with the intro of new scouts. Mercury=Jadeite Rei=Nephrite. There's also Moon=Endymion too but he's not evil currently so...

Rei has always been alone so she thinks it's the best way to be :(

Rei is supposed to be an Aries so it's weird that she's a loner but I guess it has to do with you know actually life experiences instead of made up astrology but then Rei herself is fictional too so... Now I want to see if all the scouts actually match their respective astro traits for fun.

Those dresses are ugly Usagi smh

Lol Kitty Maid Ami

I guess it's a way of getting Luna in without looking weird

Lol I love Usagi's bear costume.

Rei is about minimalism.

Also I was expecting something more fancy but I guess a young girls would like a Halloween theme I guess.

Plant monster looks like a hair brush to me a bit? lol

Tuxedo Mask is also about simple costumes

Lol @ Usagi right now

Hugging on him and smelling him. I don't blame ha though.

Aw Ami is relating.

Poor Rei, she's afraid of making friends because she thinks she'll lose them :(

Monster body snatched the girl and got caught so the girls are transforming to kick his ass

Duplicating monster

Usagi gets called for help but can't get out of her bear costume lmao

Aw they shared a smile

Aw they said the catchphrase together.

Damn when did the monster multiple to three?

Aqua Mist

But the others revive him

Yes I was just thinking about how they needed to attack at once!

Fuck it didn't work

Twirl it out

omg Minako to the rescue via ha music!

Lol why did I just now get the pun with C'est La Vie?!

Also this show continues to be gay as fuck. The twirling, the synchronized attack to music....

Tuxedo /mask better fuck this guy up

Lol oops

Oh fuck

Oh good he caught her

Fuck they both fell

Lol the scepter activated to save them

Lol they are amazed and she's singing. He thinks she's cute lol

Lol this compliment when her singing is weak as fuck

Lol that smile didn't make you look evil at all Tuxedo Mask

Lol even Rei thinks it's a bop now

How many times have a written "lol" in this?

Rei will still not do the karaoke but is willing to hang out with the other girls now and Usagi is elated by the events of the day.