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queenofanime · 1 year ago

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Matching Tattoos

"You know I can see you, right?" The girl, who until now was strolling through the dark alleys, stopped. Her question was met with silence, with complete stillness. Y/n just wanted to get home, but she knew that as soon as her back was turned, the person walking behind her would follow.

"Just come out already. I really don't have time for this." Irritation laced her words... honesty too. She truly didn't have the time nor the patience for this. Y/n had lied before though, for she couldn't actually see the person. She could only assume it was a man. Living in the red light district had changed her perception of life, of love. She was cynical and street smart. By now, she had heard too many stories of raped women, too many horrors happening a couple of blocks away from her flat. She had experienced quite a few scares herself.

Despite her efforts, nobody answered.

At the other end, Gyutaro felt conflicted. The demon had gone out to town, trying to find a meal. His standards were never high, therefore, when he saw a bunch of middle aged hags, he was ready to devour at least two, but then he got distracted by the commotion from across the street.

Apparently a woman had trespassed into Triple Thread territory, and was now having a hard time getting out of trouble. 'The Triple Thread' were nothing but a bunch of low-level thugs. However, over the years they had become quite the gang. Nowadays, they basically ruled part of the district and controlled more than half of the whore houses.

Three of them had corner the young girl, who he, was currently trailing. Gyutaro hadn't thought much of it at first, but when the men got their asses kicked and send to the hospital, he became intrigued.

Looking back, he should have just minded his business and try to eat someone, instead of trailing the poor girl, who seem to have an attitude and was now asking questions... questions he wasn't ready to answer.

He wasn't used to being noticed. And if he were to step into the light, she would probably faint.

Maybe he should just eat her.

"Okay, you clearly are taking your sweet time so I'm coming over." Y/n's voice and the fact that she was closing in, brought the demon back to reality. However he couldn't move, his feet were completely glued to the ground. Maybe he wanted to see the girl's reaction and entertain his sadistic side. Or maybe he simply was a full-on masochist and wanted to damage his self-esteem even further. Maybe he just wanted to hear more of the girl's voice, even if it meant hearing insults and hurtful words. Whatever the reason may be, he didn't move, he didn't hide, no... Gyutaro just waited patiently for his arm to be yanked into the light.

Yet the moment never came. Gyutaro most certainty was not yanked by the arm as he had mentally script. No, no, he was yanked from his ear. The nails from the girl painfully pinching at the tender skin, almost drawing blood.

An audible yell escaped the demon as his thoughts ran wild. 'Did this human just had the audacity to do something as stupid as this!?'

Unpleasantly, Gyutaro was thrown just below the lamp-post, the only lamp-post within 5 blocks.

Recovering from the shock and the slamming of his spine against the metal tube, Gyutaro's eyes glanced upwards in rage. "You BITCH! What the hell was th-"Kill me now, because I'm done saving myself."

The interruption of the girl quickly had the demon shutting up; his mismatched eyes staring in disbelief. In return, the girl's gaze looked back at him. Not a single hint of fear or disgust could be seen through her orbs, just boredom and completely unimpressed. As if seeing a demon was a daily occurrence. 'Just another Tuesday for this asshole', thought the male.

Somehow the night seemed darker than usual. Small droplets had started to appear, littering the street. Soon, the sound of rain was the only thing that could be heard.

Gyutaro took the moment to actually analyze the girl's features. She was quite pretty, but it was an unconventional pretty. She had a knife-cut scar gracing her left cheek. Unlike Daki, her nose wasn't a round perfect button shape. Her hair was messy, her eyebrows were bushy and edgy. And her makeup wasn't the usual pastel colors that girls loved to wear. Maybe unconventional pretty wasn't the right description. The girl was harsh pretty... warrior pretty pretty.

"Are you going to kill me?"

"I'm not sure yet."

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"Quit watching me."

"Did you do something different with your hair?"

"No."

To put it shortly, Gyutaro didn't kill Y/n, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he became a guardian demon angel of some sort. He knew Y/n could handle herself, as she had demonstrated weeks prior. Still, he felt useful watching over her. Both parties had come to some sort of mutual silent agreement, allowing Gyutaro to crash in Y/n's flat, as he was doing tonight.

"I really think you did something with your hair."

"I didn't! Cut it out!"

The girl decided to stop asking, as she had clearly irritated the demon, but her staring didn't weaver. Annoyed and self-conscious, Gyutaro shot Y/n a menacing glare, however she seemed unaffected by it.

"Where did you get your spots done? Which artist was it?"

"What?"

Y/n's question had genuinely confused the man. What did she mean by artist? Did Y/n actually think his ugly birthmarks were made with ink? Gyutaro hated everything about himself. He hated his face, his body-shape, he even hated his attitude. But... if there was one thing he hated above all else, were those ugly dark spots which adorned his body in the most horrible way possible. He hated them the most because they were a constant remainder of the lack of love his mother had had for him.

"Woah, you really are dumber than I thought." The words slide from his mouth harsher than ever before. For the first time Y/n was taken aback. For the first time, she actually felt cold sweat run down the back of her neck, fearing what the demon would do.

"I-I j-just- "You really think I'd litter my face like this, by choice?"

Before Y/n could say something else, a giggle escaped the green-ish creature. A giggle that soon turned into a psychotic laughing fit. The girl could only watch in horror as the demon, with its nails, scratched and teard at its skin, drawing red blood lines.

The flame from the alcohol lamp flickered with the wind. Y/n prayed the only source of light wouldn't go out, leaving her defenceless.

"My mother tried to kill me several times before I was born. She ended up dying of syphilis, the hateful bitch."

In reality, Gutaro didn't know why he was sharing. His tongue was faster than his head, which was a very rare occurrence. Trauma dumping the woman in front of him was a test. Just like the night he met her, Gyutaro wanted to see what she was made of. What unexpected reaction she would come up with next.

The girl was at a loss of words, now understanding it was likely that Gyutaro suffered from congenital syphilis. She wanted to say 'sorry' but that seemed superficial. Sometimes words aren't enough, but actions were.

Without looking at the demon, Y/n's hand slowly reached out for the small nightstand. Gyutaro watched her intensely, knowing for sure a woman like her would have a blade or some kind of weapon hidden. However, Y/n had something else in mind. Seeing as the demon hadn't move from his spot and wasn't trying to stop her, Y/n pulled out a paper rice sheet, an ink pen, and a needle. That certainly got Gyutaro's attention.

The night was cold. Shadows danced across the room, casting an ethereal glow upon the worn furniture and faded walls.

Y/n approached the boy cautiously. Her steps measured and deliberate towards the skinny boy, who still looked angry and distrustful. She understood the depths of his longing, his hunger for affection, yet she knew all too well the fortress of distrust he had built around himself. But she was determined to bridge the gap, to breach the walls that confined him. Slightly gulping, Y/n closed the gap between the two of them until they were just a few inches apart.

With gentle grace, she extended her trembling hand, her fingertips craving the warmth of human connection. She closed in slowly, mindful of every fragile moment that passed. Her touch was like a whisper, delicate and tender, a beacon of solace in a world that had shown him little to no kindness.

Y/n didn't think her next action through. If she did, she would probably have never done it. She reached and delicately traced her fingers across the black spots covering his left prominent hip-bone. This time, it was Gyutaro who gulped, feeling the chill of her freezing hand.

Since he didn't move, Y/n took the opportunity to take out the sheet of paper and the ink pen. Gyutaro's yellow eyes widen, gleamed with an otherworldly glow, reflecting the untamed curiosity that coursed through his veins. The girl, with full-on concentration, covered his hipbone with the paper. And with the pen, started tracing the birthmark's shape.

Once she was done, Y/n removed the paper and set it aside.

She then proceeded to undress herself, shocking the demon (even further). And soon, Y/n was left in her undergarments, exposing her own hipbone.

Slowly but surely Gyutaro started to understand... understand her, and he couldn't help but feel a tug within his heart (if he had one).

The air was thick with a sense of determination as she prepared to embark on whatever journey this was. With trembling hands, she carefully grabbed the needle, that until now had been forgotten and started burning it with the flame. Once the tip was dark, bordering black, Y/n removed the insignificant metal item, recovered the paper, and placed it over her own skin.

Part of him wanted to stop her, wanted to tell her not to ruin her own perfectly soft skin, but Gyutaro has always been selfish. So he didn't.

Y/n had a million thoughts running though her head: 'Was it safe?' 'Should she do it?' 'Was it too late to turn back?' 'Was it going to hurt?'

No it wasn't safe. She shouldn't do it. It wasn't too late. Yes, it was going to hurt. But she had made up her mind. She wasn't going to back down from a promise, a promise of a better, honest world.

Despite knowing that this act would forever mark her skin, Y/n took the needle and grazed her flesh. It burned. A searing pain jolted through the girl's body. Pain the demon could see through her eyes. The smell was probably the worse.

Wherever the needle grazed, splatters of blood followed. Instinctively Y/n wanted to pull away, but the logic within her wanted to get this over done quickly.

Y/n spent over an hour carefully filling in the area while Gyutaro just watched, mesmerised.

When she was finally done, the burned birthmark took and ugly red-brown color. The angry blood lines starting to dry up.

Despite the painful experience, Y/n was satisfied with herself.

Finally she looked up towards the demon, acknowledging him with a cheerful smile.

"See, now we match..."

______________________

(image taken from Pinterest by Jenn)

______________________

If you enjoy my writing, even just a little bit... can you follow my insta?

I'm trying to grow my newly created art account: nena_rpa

Your support would mean the world to me :)

#demon slayer #demon slayer fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #femreader #gyutaro #gyutaro x reader #fluffy and sad #demon slayer x reader #matching tattoos

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spacelazarwolf · 1 year ago

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tldr scroll down to see my new plants.

this is a departure from my usual posts, it's a bit more like hybrid blog/diary entry, idk, but here u go.

for those of y'all who don't know, one of my hobbies is plants. i like to collect them propagate them, trade them, etc. and my favorite type of plant is aroids, particularly philodendrons. it was a very difficult hobby to maintain after the plant boom during lockdown caused plant prices to skyrocket, so for the past year or two i haven't relaly been buying that many new plants, and when i have it's just been from garden centers or local nurseries.

yesterday, however, i went to an aroid show where there was a vendor from south america who had brought a bunch of specimens people could purchase. they're a family owned business that focuses on protection and preservation of biodiversity and native plant species, and all their plants are ethically sourced, usually grown in their own greenhouses from propagations instead of taking them from their natural habitat and selling them. so obviously i had to check them out.

but this is where i sort of pause while writing this post, because i get really nervous talking about spending money, especially on here. i've frequently asked for help when i needed assistance getting my account out of the red or paying late rent, so part of me feels like it would be insulting to post about things i spend money on that aren't the essentials. but my plants make me happy. they give me something to take care of. they brighten up my apartment. they give me something to be excited about. so i'm just gonna tell you about my new plants.

about a month ago when i left my old church job, they gave me a gift card that the choir had pitched in for. i couldn't get cash out, use it for rent, or transfer it to my bank account, so i decided it would be my hobby fund. when i found out about the aroid show, i set aside a portion of that fund for plants because i knew that the specimens at the show would be significantly less expensive than anything i could find online or in local shops, and it might be one of the only chances i would ever have to actually buy some of my wishlist plants.

this is a philodendron esmeraldense. this is what they look like when the leaves get bigger and more mature. this is one i hadn't seen before so it wasn't on my wishlist, but when i was checking the vendors' stock last week i loved how it looked. i'm gonna put it on a moss pole and let it climb. the leaves probably won't ever get as big as the one in the linked photo, but i'm still excited to watch it grow.

this is a terrible picture but this is a philodendron patriciae. they get super long. this one’s putting out like two new leaves. it’s also a climber. the ripples in the leaves get more intense as it matures, so paired with the very long leaves it looks so cool. i can't wait to grow this one bigger.

philodendron pastazanum. it’s a crawler so i’ll be getting a window box to put it in so it has space to grow across the substrate. this has been on my list for a while but i couldn’t find it anywhere. the big heart leaves are just gorgeous.

this is a philodendron melanochrysum. the leaves can get huge. technically i already have a smaller one, but this one was just so gorgeous. i will probably end up planting them together on one moss pole. it’s one of my favorite plants, i am a sucker for velvety leaves. you can see one of the older leaves is getting ready to drop, and i think i'm going to try to make a project out of it.

philodendron tortum. it feels like the kind of plant that would have been growing while the dinos were around. it's very reminiscent of a fern, but it is also a climber. i had one like two years ago but i had to sell it to pay some bills, so i'm happy to have it back in my collection.

the one in the center. anthurium veitchii, or king anthurium. this one was kind of an impulse buy. i don’t usually do anthurium but it was cheap and looked incredibly cool. they look even cooler when they get mature.

what is a king without his queen. anthurium warocqueanum, or queen anthurium. i wasn't sure if i wanted to tackle this one bc it's notoriously hard to take care of, but it was very cheap so i took the plunge. these also get super long, and the velvety shiny leaves are so pretty.

monstera obliqua peru. this was a unicorn plant. it is difficult to find in the wild, grows slowly, and is hard to propagate, so it was mostly just passed from collector to collector until the plant boom during covid. nodes of this plant, literally just bits of stem you would cross your fingers and hope would root and grow leaves, were going for a thousand dollars and a single leaf up to three thousand dollars a year or two ago. and now i have a very full plant for only forty bucks. 2020 me is screaming. this specimen looks a little squished from the trek from south america to the midwest, but when it acclimates to its new environment, it's going to look so cool. this is another plant that has dino vibes.

and finally the grand finale. philodendron spiritus sancti. i honestly can't believe i'm typing this. this plant is considered to be one of the rarest philodendrons in the world - if not the rarest. it only grows in one place, and there are reportedly only 10 known plants left in the wild because of a combination of poaching and the excessive clearing of their habitat. it was another one that pretty much only existed in high level (wealthy) collections for a very long time. now, more specimens of this plant exist in private collections than in the wild, which makes ownership of this plant very emotional for me. this is a plant that was going for upwards of $14k for large specimens at the height of the plant boom. people were scrambling to get their hands on that one plant that no one could get, the highest prize, a bragging point. no one cared if they were getting it ethically. someone even stole a cutting from a botanical garden just to sell it.

this plant was not on my wishlist because i never thought i would even get to see in person, let alone hold, let alone own. and yet yesterday i picked it up, held it in my hands, saw the two digit price tag, and decided yeah. i think it's only fair that the money a bunch of presbyterians gave me should go to adding a plant called a "spiritus sancti" to my jewish plant collection.

it still doesn't feel real. i can just look over at my plant cabinet, and there it is. a spiritus sancti. bc for me it was never about having a big name plant in my collection. it was never about bragging or showing off or just checking names off a list of things i was supposed to want if i was into houseplants. this plant still exists because botanists and aroid enthusiasts have worked tirelessly to conserve it. and having this little piece of history and the world in my little plant cabinet feels more like a responsibility to me than a prize.

so yeah. those are my new plants. i'm excited to see them grow and still a little starstruck that i was even able to bring home the last two.

#plant collection

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j0hnj4ej3n · 1 year ago

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i crave for some nct dream's angsty imagines🥺 can you do it if you are free? thank you in advance!

nct dream falling out of love with you

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: angst angst angst, some of them really are red flags and assholes but this is just a work of fiction we all know our 7dream boys are a bunch of sweeties, curse words, mentions of drinking

Notes: anon asked for an angsty post and i am here to deliver one! and honestly i think the writing style is a little different? it's a bit more stream of consciousness vibes but yes, i am also an angst lover so this was quite fun to write :”) i am so sorry that this took a while, i’ve been really busy but i am back to posting more regularly now~ so continue to send in more request if you have any! until my next post, be well and take care my loveys <3

𔘓 Mark:

mark has been so busy but at the same time, he loves his job. these days, he much rather spend time working than anything. or maybe these are all excuses for himself to justify why he hasn't been making time for you. it's getting easier and easier to forget the plans you've made or the things you've said. seeing you at the end of every day used to be something he looks forward to, he remembers how he always gets so excited. when he finally sees you, when he gets to just soak you in at the end of his busy day. it relaxes him, he'd look into your eyes, tell you he loves you and everything just feels right. but now, even when he gets to go to sleep next to you, it just isn't the same anymore. you still look at him with so much love in your eyes, but it's been harder and harder to return your 'i love you's while meaning it. he doesn't know what went wrong or if anything went wrong in the first place. did the two of you move too fast? was it because you had thoughts of settling down and mark didn't have the heart to tell you he wasn't ready? is the pressure of marriage getting to him? or is it the fact that he never really wanted to get married at all? it kills him to admit it, knowing how much you love him still. but it's been a while since he noticed that his love for you has faded. and he wonders if it'll be kinder if he just lets you go.

𔘓 Renjun:

renjun has always been a fighter. you mean it in the best way, it's not unusual for you two to get into fights. everytime you do argue, it almost makes you love him more. he has always fought for your love, and you do the same. that's why he loved you so much. you two would never let each other go to bed upset. despite being quick to anger, he always reminds you that the two of you are on the same side. "i'm not trying to fight with you. it's us against the problem, not me against you." so really, you don't know when it started. the longer you've been together, the harder it's been to solve your problems. "why are we even fighting about this again?" "cause you just can't seem to let that shit go" "me? you're the one who-" "let's just stop, i'm not going to argue with you again" renjun is growing tired, it's easier for him to just walk out sometimes. you've gone to sleep angry and crying. "where the hell are you going at this hour?" "can't sleep, going out for some fresh air. don't bother waiting up." and some nights renjun never comes back at all. he usually goes to drink his thoughts of breaking up away, he doesn't want to be the one to say it. but he no longer wants to fight, maybe it's better this way. to stay with you till the end, until you say you're tired too and you can both part ways.

𔘓 Jeno:

is love supposed to be like this? it never used to feel like this. jeno has a lot on his mind. with you, he used to always feel like his floating. on cloud nine. really, you used to be the person who could put him in a good mood just by looking at him. so what changed? when did this love you shared start to feel burdensome? when did it all get so heavy? jeno isn't usually phased by burden, he has carried loads throughout his life. but for some reason, this load is one that he doesn't want to bare. love isn't supposed to be unpleasant like that. has he fallen out of love with you? is that why it's so difficult to leave his friends to meet you these days? it never used to be a problem, he'd always run to you in a heartbeat. he caught himself sighing when his phone lit up and it was a call from you. a frown found it's place on his face because he had to pause his game to pick up your call. and you didn't even have anything important to say. "i miss you jen" "mm, me too" he hated how easy it was to lie to you like that, he promised to always be honest. maybe it's true, his friends always used to tell him that your first relationship never lasts long. and perhaps it's time for him to be cruel to be kind, he'll break your heart sooner than later. he believes you'll come to thank him some day.

𔘓 Haechan:

"you really don't see why i'm upset?" "no, no i really don't," haechan tells you, annoyance laced in his voice. "it makes me uncomfortable, i don't like the idea of you going to lunch with her so often" "it's just lunch? i need to eat, don't i?" "so why don't you ask me then? it's not like i was busy?" "babe, i was already with her! we just went to get lunch after class, what's the big deal?" "it's not about just... lunch," you tell him, trying to stay calm even though your eyes are already stinging. "then what is it? all i'm hearing is that you're jealous. can't you trust me when i say we're just friends?" "yes. so what if i am jealous? you've always known that i'm insecure and that i don't like the idea of you hanging out with girls one on one. and you promised me you wouldn't, we made a deal, and you broke your promise..." "oh my god...." "h-how do you expect me to trust you when you keep going back on your word?" haechan takes a deep breath, he's so sick of having the same god damn conversation with you. he runs his hands up and down his face, before running them through his hair. "okay, fine. i'm sorry... i'm really sorry, you're right. i fucked up again... i'm the bad guy." haechan stares at you as you shake your head, beginning to break into sobs. it's like the two of you are stuck in an endless loop, never escaping this miserable cycle. and his heart used to break seeing you cry like that, knowing that he was the cause. but now his hooded eyes are tired and empty. so he stands up and walks to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of wine, before he comes back out to join you on the couch and turns on the TV.

𔘓 Jaemin:

you and jaemin both knew long distance wasn’t going to be easy. that much was clear the week leading up to jaemin’s departure, the two of you spend every waking hour together. sometimes even breaking into tears over the fact that you two would be miles and miles away from each other. but they always say distance makes the heart fonder right? so you and jaemin, you two were going to be fine right? it’s been 4 months since the two of you started long distance and jaemin is literally on his wits end. everything was going well initially but now he just thinks you’re asking for too much. he is literally on the other side of the world, trying to begin a new, exciting chapter of his life. and of course he misses you too but that doesn’t mean he has to sacrifice his sleep every night, choose staying at home to pick up your call instead of hanging out with new friends and going on new adventures. he’s trying so hard to just begin chasing his dreams and it’s like you’re doing everything in your power to hold him back. he knows in his heart that you’re not doing this on purpose but he can’t help but grow annoyed at you. he’s growing comfortable to this new life, without you. and he begins to wonder if you’re just another chapter in his life, one that doesn’t last till the end.

𔘓 Chenle:

chenle thinks he made a mistake. yes, he really did find you attractive. and yes, he really really did like you, very much. but maybe he was never really ready for a relationship. it was, to him, just too much commitment for right now. it definitely helps him feel less lonely but it was more of an inconvenience than anything. it wasn’t like he wanted to have other casual relationships or anything, mainly, he just wanted to be free. free to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted and not having to be accountable to someone all the time. but it was nice to have someone care for him like you do. he doesn’t think he has anyone around that loves him like that, he can tell you love him and it makes his heart ache a little. because he came to realise that he mistook his infatuation for you for love. but it was too late to retract any of these things without breaking your heart. chenle is conflicted, he thinks he could choose to love you if he wanted to. love isn’t just mere feelings after all. but he doesn’t really want to, chenle doesn’t really want to be in a relationship anymore. you’re a beautiful girl, both inside and out, who deserves a lot more than he could offer you right now. and he knows you know it too. you might be naive, but you weren’t an idiot. you could tell that something in your relationship shifted, though you weren’t sure what exactly did. and maybe one day, when chenle gets the courage to finally settle down, maybe then he could be someone deserving of the love you have so readily given to him.

𔘓 Jisung:

when the two of you just met, jisung thought you were the most interesting person he has ever met. you were so different from him, from your passions to your personalities. and personally, jisung saw that as a great thing. afterall, opposites attract, right? yes, the two of you were indeed really attracted to each other and eventually fell in love enough to get into a relationship. but that only began to test each of your patience towards each other. a relationship is hard work and it proves to be even harder when both partners simply fail to see eye to eye. “but ji, you’re not listening to me,” you kept telling him. “baby, i am… but i just don’t agree with you”. it’s really draining, when the two of you are so persistent and stubborn in your own opinions. after a while, jisung just doesn’t feel very happy being together anymore. things seemed to be better when you two were just friends, maybe things should have stayed that way. it saddens him to even think like this, because he still likes you so much. but he sees how destructive this could eventually become. you’re already beginning to say hurtful things to each other just to try to get the other person to understand. you’re both unhappy and the feelings have definitely begun to fade. would it be better to just call it quits? jisung doesn’t know what to do but he wants to do something before it’s too late and it comes to a point where even being friends becomes impossible too.

#nct dream #nct dream scenarios #nct dream reactions #nct angst #j0hnj4ej3n

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manonamora-if · 1 year ago

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Last one of the month!

So this one was an unexpected surprise... Essentially, woke up in the middle of the night with an insane idea, could not go back to sleep, wrote/coded for 4h (and spent 4h-ish the next day to translate), and BAM! this happened.

You can find the game here! I've shoved it into 3 ranked jam (well, two, but one of them for 2 diff languages), if you want to vote for it too...

small note: essentially half the plan was scrapped because of time constrains. I might do an extended version in the future?

Current wordcount : 9.327 (FR) + 920 3.898 (EN) new Coding update : 20% change

Oh boy, did we manage to do some things this week for this one!! I wasn't able to add much in the French version (it is still incomplete), so I focused on the translation, filling the gap for the former when needed. This meant I could clear out the first beat of the game, and part of the second one (currently working on it). I am about 1/3rd fully complete. I also worked a bit on the UI, fixing the sizing (essentially copy/pasting the template again) and adding themes.

Will it be ready for EctoComp? I have two more days to try!

After reviewing 40 IFComp entries, I am tapping out for now. There are still 3 more weeks left, so I might play but not review them. It is a bit more than half of the entries, and more than last year… So many long entries. I'm tired.

I did an AMA last Friday, and answered all your burning questions until there were no more (about 2h). It was loads of fun! Thanks again for sending questions :)

What's happening in the IF sphere:

Speaking of the IFComp: 3 more weeks to play and vote for 5 games! If you have about 2h to spare... there are a handful of 15min entries :)

The voting for the inkJam is underway (wink, wink, scroll above): there is a 5-game voting queue before you can vote for any other entries.

The entries of the EctoComps are about the be released. This is ALSO a ranked jam, so consider voting for a few. La Petite Mort category are games created under 4hs, so they are usually fairly short.

Last chance to enter the Bare-Bones Jam!

Missed a jam deadline or you have a concept you're not sure you can finish? Throw it to the @seedcomp-if.

Now, there's a lot I've been wanting to reorganise with the way I've been sharing progress/communicate and where, especially since working on revamping @crimsonroseandwhitelily.

This is pretty long, so I stuffed it all under the break.

First order of business: Monthly check-ins A shortened version of the monthly check-in will be publish on itch from next month on, on the first of each month (unless IRL gets in the way). It will recap what I did the previous month and the plan for the next one, as well as other news of what I am organising/doing aside from game-making. The longer versions going into more details and wishy-washy feelings, also including fun events to participate in and recaps. You know, the usual. Those too, will be posted on the 1st of every month. I'll also have separate posts for jam announcement.

Second: Weekly check-ins These will continue to be published every Sundays (usually mornings EST), even if Sunday is the 1st of the month (will be up before the monthly check-in). The format won't change: recap of progress on projects, other stuff to mention, maybe some events to participate in.

Third: AMA I've been doing AMAs at hella random times, and on a whim, but I'd like to do those more often, because they are fun, and with a more set date/time, so more of you can participate/not miss it (like I did last Friday). Maybe once a month type of thing, around the start or end of the month probably. I'll at least do one more before Christmas.

Fourth: Where else to get updates I've tried out a bunch of places, and while Tumblr feels the most easy/comfortable right now, I don't want to rely on one place only to share releases and big updates (who knows what will happen to Tumblr). I want peeps to be able to have options about where they can get news/updates (esp if you don't want to create an account on a specific website). I'll need to update the nav post about this (maybe have a carrd? or mailing list?), and be more consistent about updating all these places. I need to find some log-ins again... For now, Tumblr will be the most comprehensive one. And I'm not updating Twitter, btw.

Fifth: Update calendar So this year has been so far pretty different from what I hoped to do (mainly because I've participated in so/too many jams), good progress has been done in some places, none in others. That's on me, obviously, I get distracted by new ideas. I can't promise that next year will be much different and that I will stick to a rigorous calendar of updates. Time management and hobbies are like oil and water... But I want to be more careful with how I map my year and where I put effort. Working on remasters and participating in jams has shown me I can do quite a bit in short spurs. And I think I could manage to close more small WiPs if I put my eggs in order (participating in jams/comps usually stops quite a bit of that progress). I think coming to term with leaving some projects be would help a ton. Not everything needs a remaster/update.

Sixth: Itch Pages Update + Trailers? With each remasters, I've tried to be more consistent with the formatting of the itch game page, with screenshots and links to relevant pages. While this should be something to do from the start (with the OG release), with the way I've been release things, I can at least try to make it happen after release. I've struggled a bit for some entries in what to include, ngl. Text-based game seems much duller than non-IF. Also, and somewhat related, I'd like to make trailers for some of the games, mainly the longer completed ones. Also because they look neat and I've never done that before. I have no idea where to start, how to do them, or what to include, but I'm excited to learn! But realistically, this won't be something I'll start this year...

Seventh: Stop with this jam nonsense. So this is more something that's been requested by anons relentlessly in my inbox (esp CRWL's inbox, which I've been deleting every time), than me actually stopping participating in jams. First of all, lol at those request. I participate in/organise them because it's fun and it makes me want to create more not before I personally want to make you suffer by making you wait for months for an update (legit got this as a message). Should I calm down with participating in jams? Maybe. I've made 9 new games this year alone (not counting promps and templates), with varying length and completion (1 is incomplete, 2 needs fixing, at least 1 should be longer), which 50% more than last year. It's not sustainable for me to do the same next year, especially if I want to finish more of my WIPs (I can't just add more to the pile). We will see what next year brings in terms of jams... I will probably submit an entry to multiple jams. Jam FOMO is real...

Eighth: Blog(s) regorganising I've started with CRWL already (it's back up with limited posts), and it will take a bit of time to have everything back in tip top shape. Aside from purging/re-writing posts, I'll also be updating the interface (I'm thinking or re-wroking it from scratch) to make it more mobile friendly. The same will happen at some point with this blog. I want to clear out unnecessary posts/reblogs, and have a better tagging system (the more projects I have, the worse it becomes...).

And finally, I think I'm gonna need a few weeks of a proper break. IRL has been weird and I'm mentally exhausted. I don't know whether I need a break from everything or just the internet... but I might be away for a bit for sure. doomscrolling has not been helping either...

#progress #devlog #update #ibe #lpm

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ambiguouspuzuma · 1 year ago

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Just saw your post and want to say that i’ve been where you are (can’t comment so i’m here on an ask). When i went through a slump (months long), i felt like the only good thing about me was gone, it felt like something left me….but it was unlike a friend or a lover, it felt like something much much more than just the end of a connection. I didn’t know if it would come back at all, i couldn’t even worry, because what is one to do in this situation? It’s not like i can “ask” inspiration to come back. I patiently waited. I usually have a lot of ideas, too many really. It felt so strange to have nothing simmering in my head. I tried to read, i tried to watch a bunch of movies and shows, i tried another hobby, i dipped back into the media that once inspired me…it wasn’t that i was hoping to find something to write about, it was that i was trying to busy myself. I thought this was it, like, i was just not gonna be able to write anymore, that somehow, i had used up all of the creativity meant for me in a lifetime, within the span of 2 years. I can’t do any other art besides writing. I love it. I absolutely love it.

I say all this to tell you that nothing stays the same. The only constant in life is change. Be still. Be ready.

Thank you for sharing - you've put a lot of the feeling into words. For me it's only been a couple of weeks so it's nothing to really make a fuss about, it's just that I'm always writing, every scrap of spare time I get - and when I don't have any, I'm daydreaming and desperate to get back to it. It feels strange not to do it, and not to want to.

I do realise that it's sort of a crutch and I'm less sure who I am without it, so the idea that I might one day have to stop, as you describe, is similarly terrifying. I still have a hundred unfinished ideas, but for the first time none of them interest me. I have so many novels I desperately wanted to write, so if I burn out and run out of steam before I get there it will be heartbreaking, not to mention that I won't know what to do with myself. I will try reading more in the meantime!

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fourseasonsfigs · 2 years ago

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Clever Little Daoist

Dong Fang Yuechu is looking very resolute here! This is our third in this series of Gong Jun in action as his character in Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Yue Hong.

I posted about the other two here and yesterday, and the last one in this series is actually touching ground in the Port of LA today! I should be able to post it this week - I'm so excited about it I'm going to pull it in front of the line when he gets here 🎉

But in the meantime, let's focus on this clever and determined little man. He is in fact, ready for action with his fulu in hand, ready to hurl some magic at the enemy.

I don't actually have the photo inspiration for this fig, which is unfortunate...I'll have to keep looking. I do at least have these behind the scenes pictures of his costume:

Gorgeous! I wish I had HD closeups of this (and all of them). I've been noticing how a lot of his costumes have asymmetrical prints to them, which I find really lovely. I think it adds some interest to the looks.

Another fig delivery in custom cutout polystyrene! You can see the extra special height they gave this fig for his two little hair strands on his topknot. When I ship these type of resin figs I always try to get them air-column wrapped, which unfortunately adds to the shipping expense, but I think does a great job protecting them during the sea travel.

However, with my work travel schedule and the amount of figs in my warehouse, in the fog of war I totally missed getting these wrapped (along with a whole bunch of others!). Luckily, they sailed right though without any mishaps.

Thank goodness too! I love him. Since his costume is so white here, I'm foregoing my usual white background to try to get some better contrast in here. My weak winter daylight doesn't help though.

Oops, I just realized I missed photographing the first 1/8 turn here - I, like this fig, was clearly all business here. Well, we'll start at the first 1/4 turn, with his perfect posture and a nice view of his action pose. I like how this fig and the one from yesterday are standing very still and upright, but you get a sense of motion from them because of the way their robes flow. Yesterday the robes were flowing behind, like the fig was moving forward, and here we have almost a backwards motion with the arm going behind, giving us some great sleeve and robe movement.

Which you can see more of here with his arm and hand rising up. The hair is coming off the neck and back as well due to the motion.

This is a slightly better view of the hair motion! And also of his hairpin and his hair topknot "antenna".

Ah, this is an even better view of the motion in his hair. This is a fairly simple fig in some respects as the costume is almost pure white, but you get a lot of thought in the fig physics here.

Speaking of fig physics, you'll notice that unlike yesterday's Yuechu, this one stands up just fine.

I've noticed a lot of his costumes (as near as I can tell from the previews and the BTS shots) seem to have a tiny little bit of a train on them. I'm a big fan of that aesthetic choice for sure. Here, I think it's less of a mini train and more of the way the fabric is flowing to show motion.

Like yesterday's fig, this last 1/8 angle view is my absolute favorite. A lot of personality and you get a lot of the elegant motion here too.

And back around. Here you can see the asymmetrical blue band on one of his collars.

I took this a little bit to the side so you could see his color coordinating white pants and white boots.

Not as quite as many layers to this fig's costume as yesterday's but still quite the respectable detail for the underside you'll generally never see!

This is actually straight on the center of the fig, so you can see all the motion and angles in the hair. Sorry there's a bit of a shadow there obscuring the right side of the pic.

Oh no, my box card met with some mishap! Sorry Yuechu, your beautiful face has some battle damage there.

I'm still not entirely sure why the box card side's art of this fig has a ghostly white face compared to his ears, when the card art is normal, but who can say what mysterious things happen during printing!

Alright, saving the best for last...soon we'll see the last fig, that cute little bunny lantern one we have there.

Material: Resin

Fig Count: 308

Scene Count: 23

Rating: Magical!

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

#gong jun #dong fang yuechu #fox spirit matchmaker merch #fox spirit matchmaker #woh cast #shl cast #word of honor cast #jzeu

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inkoherentbabeler · 1 month ago

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i just want to feel accepted by the people i live with. is that a lot to ask for?

bit of a vent post

like after my little brother got mad and stormed off for me posing a good reason for not playing along with my parents' game. my mother was literally acting like a bored goddess who doesn't want to solve people's problems by making a simple decision or parenting. she told my little brother to have me play rock paper scissors with him for who took out the dogs. i wasn't even in the same room as them.

I was minding my business in my room, getting ready to write through the night. and my little brother just starts spamming me with texts.

long story short, he comes into my room to argue that i should just play along, but i say "no" and explain that if i'm wanted for it i should just be asked not play some silly game. being done with my bullshit, he starts insulting me calling me lazy. i call him out on being rude, he says that's fair and goes right back to arguing before storming off to do it himself.

now he is getting snarky with me like, "you were told to do this" when i was never informed to do such things.

should i have conceded at some point? no, because then i would have given ground to those who only make me feel bad.

as i usually remind myself, I am not a good man all i can do is my best for those who give me theirs. and for those who only make me feel worse, i will not feel bad for anything that comes from my pettiness.

if there is an afterlife, i already know i'm going somewhere pretty bad. i betrayed someone, so there isn't much worse i can do. killing is pretty bad, id say it is worse than betrayal. thankfully i do not plan on killing anyone in this life.

i hate that the words, "it will get better in the future" and "you will feel better" and all the sort of anti depression stuff has been ruined for me. because, dear god, what i would give to feel the relief of those words from a person i love.

i want a hug. a long one. i am such a fucking waste of potential. but i'm the only one who can judge that. i could still use all of that potential energy to shoot right back up to an all time high. but i need to throttle that line just a little more, if i hold on too long i'll crash and burn, but if i pull up at the right moment i will find my cruising altitude soon.

did i just use a bunch of flight lingo in the worst possible way that will give pilots and other people a headache? probably. did i just use all of my knowledge to make myself feel better? yes!

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sluntch · 1 year ago

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A Simpler Day, a Simpler Week - A Writing Experiment - Day 6

Ayo. Welcome to day 6 of me writing something every day. This one is pretty short and sweet, but here we go anyway.

So, in the last post, I mentioned injuring my ankle through overuse on a Friday, taking a 2:30 AM ER trip on Saturday and getting home around 7:30 AM the same day. Since then, I've been keeping off the ankle and wearing a boot to keep it from moving around on me. This means I can't really drive anywhere, can't go up and down stairs very easily (which is fairly comical given how many flights of stairs are in the duplex I live in), and can't workout during the week. Abbey is also on a business trip for the week so I'm alone for the time being. Turns out you really miss the extra caloric room built into the day from just a workout. Today I went over the limit into equilibrium territory to get rid of some leftovers that needed to be eaten. In that same vein, I also miss Abbey as, not only is it fairly lonely without her (though I can cope with help from Dil and the lads, especially during the day or in discord) but also that she helps eat some extra lefties that need to be eaten when she takes them for lunch and I don't have to be responsible for everything in the fridge. I suppose that's the tradeoff for only doing cooking up to this point to be specifically having two portions for dinner and then having some lefties ready for the rest of the week. I suppose the bonus was that the grocery bill was much this week as I'm only cooking twice (to stay off the foot) and only for myself.

Last night I made a creamy tomato-base soup and added cubed tofu to it. We usually have it with tortellini, but I wanted to try and make it a bit lower-calorie and use one of the two packs of tofu I had gotten for the week. to go under it, I oven-roasted some broccoli and sweet potatoes, a go-to vegetable in our apartment as they 1). are delicious and 2). make a bunch. They go really far into the week and are great as impromptu veggies for meals, should I not have another one, and are great on the salads (I call them "Big Salad" because they are colossal and delicious) I sometimes make for lunch throughout the week. I invited Dil over to partake for some company and to just chill. It was super fun. We watched the first episode of Arcane again, semi-preparing for season 2 of that, and the first two episodes of the newest season of Jujutsu Kaisen, which he is binging to catch up to as I write this. The week is, about as much as it can be, off to a rip-roaring start. I just need this ankle to cut it out and we'll be ok. But now my right knee started kind of hurting too, so I'm worried this might be going a bit deeper than I previously thought. That or I'm still somehow using the leg too much. Time will tell, I suppose.

Second-to-last thing for this entry: I start with a new therapist tomorrow. The therapy office I was going to had a change in how they can bill my insurance and the therapist I was working with at the time was one of the ones that wouldn't be covered. Our jobs are paying a bit better now but we're trying to buy a house and possibly have a kid within the next 3 or 4 years so every penny we can save is important. So I opted to get transferred to a new therapist that would be covered. It sucks to have to start over entirely but I was only about 5 sessions in with the initial therapist, so it's not like there was a years-long connection being severed. I still liked her a lot, though, and I had made some really good progress even in that short time. We'll see how this shakes out.

Last thing, short and sweet: I'm really nervous and scared that the endocrinology visit won't be able to be moved up before 11/29 and it'll take till even longer after that to get the surgery scheduled. I feel more and more like I'm just deteriorating or wasting away. This ankle thing is really rough and with another several months to wait to get this stuff treated I'm genuinely frightened of how bad it may get. I've got patience but I don't know how much is left.

60 days to go.

#sluntchposting #daily journal #writing challenge #health journey

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rambleswhatsthepoint · 1 year ago

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08/08/2023

My phone has the setting on that rotates through landscape scenes and pet photos i have. I notice when I see any of my other pets I look at their faces with a fond happiness. When I see Stella's I don't feel that same peace. And that's because every other fur baby i've lost has been to sickness. Which means they were "ready" to go, to release the suffering and sickness.

but not for Stella, she had countless years in front of her. Except for my mistakes. I feel like i'm fine for a lot of the time and then suddenly i'm bawling. but, i guess it's good to feel the pain. someone's reels were just telling me that she gets through all the tragedies and trials in her life because she actually lets herself feel them. I think that's the opposite of what i usually do. Usually i ignore, i avoid, i busy myself to not think about whatever it is.

I didn't cry this much over my my failed marriage. but maybe i should have.

so much terrible stuff happened i didn't even get to write about any of the good stuff that happened prior. Leo's Bachelorette party weekend. Marathon training going good and actually running with my old friend.

i had Taylor Swift on repeat a bunch today, all the posts about people going to her Eras tour puts her in my mind lol. I can't wait till this tour shows up on netflix lol. though since she's touring in 2024 still, who knows when that will happen now :( I was lucky to get to see her Reputation tour.

Anyways this song came on and the Lyrics made me cry for obvious reasons, though I'm sure they meant something else to her when she wrote them

Taylor Swift - Bigger than the Whole Sky:

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye You were bigger than the whole sky You were more than just a short time And I've got a lot to pine about I've got a lot to live without I'm never gonna meet What could've been, would've been What should've been you

#online journal #grief/mourning #my life #rambles #pet loss #grief

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serenityseventeen · 3 years ago

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Dino (이찬):

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“Man in a Movie”

synopsis: Chan is the CEO of Dino Films, one of the top movie-making companies. You are a hotel housekeeper who dreams of having a job within the film industry, and Lee Chan is your role model. To settle two contracts, Chan has to travel and stay at a hotel for two months. A hotel that you work for.

parts: one | two | three | four | epilogue

genre: ceo au, hotel au, romance, based on dino's esquire pictorial

warnings: mentions rude customers, rude hotel guests, belittling someone else's job, accusations of stealing, a bit of profanity

characters: ceo!chan x hotel housekeeper!fem!reader, ft. housekeeping manager!jeonghan, front desk clerk!reader's friend!joshua, barista!wonwoo, secretary!seungkwan

word count: 5,228

a/n: The whole story is not done yet; I have just a bit more to go but I think the first part should be finished and I thought that I should post it! This one is going to be split into many parts since it's quite long (currently it's 13k but I believe it'll be over 15k in total). The beginning is quite slow-paced though as it gives quite a big bunch of background and introduction to the characters ^^ + I feel like a genius for connecting this one with the barista Wonwoo one- it feels like this one could be the main story and the Wonwoo one could be a spin-off even though the Wonwoo one came first lol + gif credits: (usually I have no clue who creates the gifs that I use but this time, since the gifs I wanted were specific, I know who created it) @woozi

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Chan was exhausted.

His body was worn out and his intelligent brain was drained of mind power. He just wanted to settle down and go to bed and call it a night. With so much to do at company headquarters, then having to fly over to a different country to settle a few deals and contracts, Chan was ready to pass out.

The main purpose of this business trip was so that he could sign an investment contract with an advertising company, along with a production business. He doesn't know how long the negotiations would take but from the looks of it, both contracts weren't going to be easy to sign. He tried to settle over a phone call, but it didn't end well.

“Have you arrived at the hotel yet, Chan?” Seungkwan asked. His tone sounded concerned for the younger CEO but at the same time, he sounded somewhat mischievous.

“I'm right outside of it, I didn't know the hotel would be by the sea. You're sure you booked 60 days, right?” Chan replied, his phone held between his shoulder and head that pressed it down.

The wind blew by softly against Chan's arm. The shirt he was wearing was tan, buttoned-up, thin, and short-sleeved with little snowflake-like black circles dotted on it, making it a comfortable summer shirt. Some may have thought he was an idol rather than the boss of a film company based on how casually he dressed. Of course, he was just joking with that thought.

Seungkwan, who was on the other line, was Chan's trusty secretary and one of his bestest friends. He's only a year older than Chan. Ever since day 1, when Chan became an entrepreneur and founded his business, Seungkwan was there to lend a helping hand. Founding a business was not easy and even through hardships, he tried his best to help Chan become a bigger film business. For the sake of helping Chan's business grow, Seungkwan began to study business as well, instead of chasing his dream of being a singer. Now, look at them, successful to the heavens but still the most chaotic duo.

“Why are you speaking to me like that? Did you forget that I'm your boss?” Chan joked. He placed his hand on the door handle and walked through the entrance of the hotel, his suitcase leaving a crusty sound as the wheels rolled against the sidewalk, before smoothing out as Chan dragged it into the hotel lounge.

“Goodness, sometimes I regret that you were the CEO and representative instead of me.”

Chan chuckled as he walked down the large, sleek lounge. The floors were wiped squeaky clean and it was large but emptier than he thought. It almost felt like he could hear his own voice echoing in the distance.

“I'm arriving at the front desk, so I'm hanging up, Seungkwan,” Chan said, bringing the expensive, glistening phone into his hand. There was a crack on the screen, a nice, clean line down one corner and stopping at the middle of the side.

“Okay then, Mr. Lee, get a lot of sleep. Next week, you have some deals to make. I've already arranged the meeting plans for that, I'll send you the company profit files I compiled via Email,” Seungkwan let out a soft sigh. “Get some rest, Chan. You've worked hard today.”

Chan almost laughed but the unsettling silence of the empty lounge being filled with only his voice made him quite uncomfortable. He didn't want to laugh too loudly or even talk normally because that would seem to draw all of the attention onto him. Instead of a spirited laugh, he only chuckled dryly.

“What's with your sudden change of words?? Do you miss me or something?” Chan playfully asked, grinning. Seungkwan, to Chan, was like a brother that always cared and looked out for him.

“What do you mean?? You're making me feel like I never say these things!” Seungkwan replied from the other line. Chan could already feel his secretary's blood beginning to boil. For some reason, Chan always found it amusing to joke around like that with Seungkwan and his other brother-like best friends.

“I was just kidding. Sleep tight, Seungkwan hyung, you also worked hard today.”

“Whatever, I love you, you punk. Go to sleep soon.”

Chan nodded habitually and hung up the phone, coming to the front desk. The clerk was a man and he looked pretty laid-back, he was typing something onto the computer, not seeming to have noticed that Chan had walked in.

The lounge was luxuriously decorated, with large historical and abstract paintings in an old-fashioned bronze frame. The walls were brown with some parts being decorated black. The ceiling light reflecting amongst the interior made the place glow orangish with a retro vibe, but at the same time, gleam with elegance.

Chan couldn't help but admire the fine man's features. From the look of it, the man seemed a few years older than Chan but looked deceivingly young. He had double eyelids and big, beautiful eyes that twinkled as if they held the stars, full lips, a beautiful, slim nose, and sharp jaw. His black hair was shining healthily and his skin was glowing too.

When the man finally realized that Chan was standing there, he stood up and apologized, explaining that he was caught up in something, which was an obvious no-brainer.

Chan quickly read the man's name tag, ‘Joshua’, and gave a gentle smile while waving his hand reassuringly. “Nothing to apologize for.”

Joshua, the front desk clerk, was wearing a neat black dress shirt. His hair was slicked back, leaving a few strands to cover his forehead. He had his hands in front of him, posing respectfully as he asked, “Are you here to book a stay? Or have you already made a reservation, sir?”

Even his voice was gentle. Chan found himself feeling somewhat envious of Joshua's visuals. He was a glowing god, no wonder he was the man at the front desk. His visuals were mesmerizing and his voice was as calm as a breath of fresh air. Chan considered whether or not to give him his business card and possibly recruit the man as an actor, but didn't push through with it in the end because that wasn't his main purpose for this trip.

“My secretary had booked a VIP stay for two months at this hotel. My name is Lee Chan,” Chan said.

The man sat back down and Chan wished that the process would go by quicker. Time was ticking and his brain was telling him that he needed rest soon.

“Here is the key card, your room, and floor number, and your guest ID,” Joshua said, sliding the two pieces of paper and smooth, plastic card across the wooden counter. “Let me explain the hotel room and floor numbers to you-”

Before he could finish, the phone rang.

Of course, he couldn't just ignore the call. Chan could tell from the look in Joshua's puppy eyes that it was from a customer. Joshua quickly apologized and picked up the phone only to be met with screams loud enough for Chan to hear, even though the phone wasn't on speaker mode.

Growing impatient, Chan waited for a minute or two, one side of his body leaning against the counter, holding the card with two of his fingers. Antsy, he tapped the key card against the wood of the front desk, going tak tak tak.

When he was sure that the man's conversation with a hotel guest wasn't heading anywhere, Chan looked down at the paper that read:

“HOTEL ROOM: 317

GUEST: LEE CHAN

ID: 05262015”

Like every other hotel, Chan assumed that the first number was the floor, and the second would be the room number. Chan looked up and glanced at Joshua, who was busy writing demands down into a small notebook.

Without a word, Chan swiped the papers and key card into his pocket, took his suitcase, and walked away, his fancy shoes leaving soft footsteps echoing against the marble floor, the rolling sound of his suitcase following behind him as he walked.

There were two people in the elevator already and they waited for Chan without quickly closing the doors. Chan got into the elevator, where another woman also got on after. They didn't look like they were a new temporary resident but instead seemed like they were familiar with the place already.

The elevator ascended toward the second floor at which the woman that came in last pressed. The other two were heading to floor 4.

The way up was smooth and fast.

Once the woman left the elevator, her heels clicking as she walked down the corridors, Chan was getting ready to close the doors when he heard the shouts of someone.

His hand froze and hovered above the 'close' button. The other two seemed a bit confused as to why he was not pressing the button but they didn't seem to mind. From the corner of Chan's eyes, he could tell that their small glances at each other were enough to pass the time and block out all kinds of noise. The elevator still had a few seconds before the doors would close and Chan's ears couldn't help but pick up an argument happening.

Right down the hallway, one of the hotel room doors was half-opened, and a woman with short curly hair and arms crossed was shouting at one of the hotel staff, who weakly took the screams, head hung low and hands held tight. The woman seemed to be in her mid-thirties and her entire body was decorated in riches; from head to toe, she was wearing luxury brands, some of which were partners with Chan's famous film company.

The argumentative shouts from the woman were loud and Chan could catch a summary of what it was about. The next sentence from the lady in her mid-thirties was enough to describe it all.

“I know you're lying, you little, dirty, pathetic, thief!”

The doors of the elevator were beginning to close.

Chan sighed with clenched fists. He didn't want to get involved in anything like this since he didn't know the truth to anything. However, hearing those disrespectful insults from a customer, Chan could recall the moments in his youth that he spent getting yelled at by his clients and customers for things he did not do.

Even though Chan was still an unbelievably young man for a CEO position, the days he spent getting yelled at by his customers for ridiculous reasons might have counted to at least two years. He devoted his life to working, earning money to build up the life he had now, and of course, to achieve that, he had to tolerate bullshit sometimes.

Sometimes, he felt like a punching bag, being used by his customers to make them feel a bit more delighted to live their own lives. Even if he allowed people to push him around as they liked, even when he could have fought back, he didn't complain about anything. Fighting back had earned him nothing but getting fired when arguably, he wasn't the one in the wrong.

He knew how it felt and he wasn't going to let it brush past him like the wind that would leave him unbothered. Words like that were sometimes like tsunamis or tornados to the chest.

Chan reached out his hand, sticking it between the doors that were less than half a foot away from locking shut. The doors opened and with his suitcase being dragged behind him, Chan walked over to the commotion, one of his hands tucked inside the pockets of his jeans to hide his raging fist.

“I'm sorry,” Chan said, sounding calm but sharp at first. “but please don't say that.”

The hotel housekeeper continued to bow her head.

The woman scoffed annoyingly, her arms still crossed. Chan could tell that she was full of herself, confident, and stubborn from her gruff tone. “Young man, you're not even a part of this, why don't you get lost? Do you know what this filthy maid did? She stole my expensive 5 million dollar clam necklace! So before you speak-”

Just as she was about to snap some curse words at Chan, she stopped to get a better look at his face. She leaned in a bit closer and, disgusted, Chan took a few steps backward. He glanced at you, the hotel housekeeper who was taking all the hits without fighting back, then turned to the woman again.

Contrasting her rude behavior before, she smiled warmly and held out her hand.

“Wait- are you Lee Chan? The CEO of Dino Films?” The woman's husband walked up from behind, peeking his head out at the mention of Chan's company and name. “God, we are super huge fans of your films! The artistic cinematography is beautiful! We are beginner movie critics, you see.”

Chan didn't know how to react at all. He was left speechless at the woman's behavior. All he could do after a moment of silence was glance at the housekeeper, who was suddenly gazing at him with sparkling, beaming eyes.

Chan sighed and placed the hand that was in his pocket before on his hips, deciding to just ignore that they were fans of his work. “Please... don't act this way toward the hotel staff. They are in no way less than you as a human being. Even if they did-”

Just then, there was an excited shout from what sounded like a little boy, coming from inside the hotel room. “Mom! I found a clam on the sink! It's so shiny!”

Chan sighed again, unable to believe that he just wasted his time on something so stupid. Even with good intentions, maybe it wouldn't have changed anything if he didn't get involved. So, he decided to quickly finish up his sentence. “In this case, they did not steal. Please don't falsely accuse an employee. If you have a complaint, please, tell the hotel manager about it. There is not only one hotel housekeeper here, please be respectful and mind your words.”

The woman turned to Chan. “Look, this is still none of your business. You can quickly leave before I rate one of your movies poorly. I don't want to be engaging in an argument with a director I love.”

Chan wanted to laugh.

“The consequences for creating a problem with me is much larger than what you assume, ma'am, plus, one bad review would make the overall reviews more realistic,” He replied, grabbing his suitcase again, and ignoring the woman's prior comments. “One last thing, if you disrespect this hotel worker, or any hotel worker again, you'll be aware of the consequences that have to be dealt with, right? I don't care what happened, it was disrespectful for you to say those things. I don't care who you are, I know, I can win it.”

Chan didn't even wait for a reply. In the hurry he already was in, Chan headed back to the elevator, pressing the button to the third floor, and closing the doors. The woman didn't seem to know how to reply, because she probably knew, in a world like this, power overcomes everything. Chan, when he was just a flower bud, didn't want to use power to win things over. Sometimes, nothing would change unless another customer got involved, and he would be that customer, helping out the wronged staff.

However, now that power was given to him and he was one of the top film-producing companies, he could almost get anything he wanted. Almost everything could go his way because he was rich and his company created movies and dramas that the majority of the public audience liked. He never wanted to use it, but now, he could only use it during times like that. Even if he tried his best to point out the wrong, people wouldn't realize it until he brought up his power.

While the doors were closing, through the gap of the closing elevator doors, Chan caught a glimpse of you, who was staring at him with fascinated, scintillescent eyes. It was like everything was in slow motion. It looked as if you were in awe. He wondered if you could be one of his fans too.

Chan shook away the thoughts. He didn't know why you were looking at him like that and he was in too much of a hurry to get to bed than think about it.

He quickly assumed that you just felt thankful.

Upon arriving at the third floor, which was only a short ride up the elevator, the doors opened to reveal the hallway. What caught his eyes first was the ceiling. Even though he had seen many ceilings like it before, he was still fascinated. The hallway reminded him of vintage decor and the dim lighting made him feel as if he was in one of his future films.

As Chan walked down the hallway, he couldn't stop looking up at the ceiling. The ceiling lights were built in a pattern, there was average white, flat space, and then, similar to upside-down stairs, the corridor ceiling would shift to be slightly higher, then turned average again. The ceiling light was wrapped with a round, white with brownish strokes cover, allowing the light to fall dim, making the atmosphere somewhat eerie.

The floor was carpeted with a colorless tan and floral patterned carpet that led down the hallway. Chan had one hand in his pocket and one hand dragging his suitcase as he walked down the corridor. Attached to the walls were lamps as well, to help give a bit more light in between the spaces that would have been too dark.

After turning a few corners, walking a few paths, taking around 10 minutes in the maze-like corridors, Chan came across the room that he needed to be in. His hotel room, 317.

He was a bit surprised at the complexity of the hallways, but even so, Chan let out a relieved sigh and reached inside his pocket, getting out the key card. When he swiped it to unlock the door, Chan initially thought that the way he inserted the card was lacking in some way. However, minutes continued to waste away as Chan continuously tried inserting the card in any way he could, only to get the same denying beep.

Confused, Chan began to wander around. It took him long enough to find his stated hotel room, Chan could only wonder how much longer it could take until he found his way out from this complicated floor. Chan had always been terrible with directions and sometimes when he was focused, his memory would be great. For times like these, he let his guard down that something like losing his way around a hotel floor would happen.

Chan was slightly pissed and the silence on this floor, contradicting the 2nd floor, was growing annoying as well. Chan could only sigh as he turned around and walked the way he believed to have come from. He wasn't in an exactly bright mood anymore to be looking at the ceiling, so he only walked forward with his head forward. Occasionally, he would glance over at the lamps glued to the wall.

He had to find his way out. Chan had to, his legs were killing him, and as if he didn't arrive late at night enough, here he was, at 11 pm, lost in the corridors of the hotel's third floor.

‘Why does there have to be so many rooms? I thought Seungkwan booked me a VIP guest room?’ Chan wondered frantically, slowing down the pace at which he walked, eventually coming to a complete pause beside a lamp. Chan brought his hand to his temple and began massaging it. He wanted to burst out into laughter but all that could escape his lungs was a wry chuckle at the irony. ‘One of the top film production company CEOs gets lost in a hotel while thinking he was going to get to sleep... that surely is amusing.’

The false accusation from earlier was still making your blood boil but you knew, based on what the hotel housekeeping manager Yoon Jeonghan always repeated that you would never be able to do anything about it, no matter how rude or disrespectful they were.

“You must always cave into the guests' requests,” Mr. Yoon would say, his hands on his hips. “If you can't, just apologize quickly and offer another solution. I don't like rude customers either, but we can't do anything about them. We must, as a 5-star, keep our reputation golden. You don't want our hotel to be on the news because you yelled back or fought a guest, right?”

You could only sigh. Sticking up for yourself was not an option and though your co-workers were all caring, they all become losers and pushovers in front of customers, though you knew they badly wanted to argue back. At first, you were a bit uncontrollable. You absolutely hated it when someone pitied, looked down on, or pushed you around so you would always stand up for yourself. Oh well, lesson learned, the world just moved that way. You couldn't do anything for the sake of reputation, money, and customers.

However, now, you've gotten used to it. Words that came from filthy mouths often got brushed off sooner or later and you were not the type to hold a grudge against a stranger.

There was a little ding as the elevator doors opened. You were doing an extra cleaning shift for extra money. It did not involve cleaning the hotel rooms but more like that hallways and walls, check if there was any gum, all that stuff. You were basically a janitor at night and a hotel housekeeper in the daylight, but you always wore your black and white hotel housekeeper uniform.

You pushed your cart through the third floor and turned a few corners and walked over to room 313, where you saw a man. He didn't seem to realize that you were behind him and continued walking while muttering things, and based on what you read from his lips, it sounded like curse words to himself.

You stared a little at him skeptically before your eyes widened in realization. He was dragging a suitcase and his hair was slightly disheveled. His figure was familiar and you recognized the denim jeans he was wearing, paired with that tan button-up shirt with strange circles.

You felt like squealing. You pushed your cart to one of the storage rooms and quickly went to find the man again.

He was easier to find than you thought. When you found him, he was staring at the ceiling, one hand in his pockets, the other resting by his side. His suitcase sat down beside him and you didn't know how long you looked at him. It was like a scene from a movie. You knew that Mr. Lee Chan would definitely make something like this. A shot from where you were would have been a great inclusion if he was shooting a movie now.

You were a huge fan of him. He was your biggest inspiration and motivation. You admired him so much.

You quietly cleared your throat and with gentle footsteps, you walked toward him, calling out softly, “Hello? Mr. Lee?”

He didn't reply. You walked close enough to pat his shoulder and heard him muttering to himself, “You're such an idiot, Chan. Why must you be so bad with directions? Just exactly who would get lost in a hotel? A CEO like me? Oh right, I'm Lee Chan, a CEO.”

You held in your laugh. This CEO was definitely cuter than you imagined. You recalled the many times he seemed so fierce, serious, sharp, and cold, from interviews, press conferences, behind the scenes, clips of whenever he was at work, and the instance from before. Who knew a charismatic CEO was bad at directions and got lost in one of the smallest floors of a hotel?

You found it adorable.

“Excuse me,” You said, bringing your finger to pat his shoulder. He jumped in surprise cutely and turned to you with a bow, in which you returned. “Do you need help with something?”

Chan seemed to recognize you as the girl that was getting yelled at around 30 minutes ago as well. He looked at you and you could tell he was hesitant to say what he needed to say.

Finally, he let out with a small stutter, “Do you know where room 317 is?”

You nodded because you had memorized where every room was during your 7 months of working at this luxurious hotel. “Of course but it's not on this floor. Didn't the guy at the front desk tell you about how the numbering works for VIP rooms?”

Chan smacked his lips together and dryly smiled, avoiding your twinkling eyes. “I was in a bit of a hurry and he was on the phone with someone so I left.”

Upon hearing his short but reasonable explanation, you gave him a friendly smile that made Chan feel a bit more comfortable and reassured.

“Well, that's okay. I'll show you where your room is. The rooms on floors 2-4 are pretty small. The higher you go up, the bigger the rooms get,” You explained, walking forward and gesturing with your hand for Chan to follow. You had to keep yourself under control. Right now, you were in the presence of your role model, who had also defended you from a false accusation earlier. Were you the most successful fangirl? Possibly.

Fangirling aside, you continued to explain as you two came to the elevator. “A lot of celebrities from all kinds of fields come to this hotel and to prevent fans from invading the privacy of these celebrities, we try to keep it confidential that the floor numbers are switched for those who book a VIP room. So, anyone who is on floors 5 through 8 often has their number switched. I'm still a bit confused on whether or not it was a smart idea, but everyone else seemed to like it.”

Chan nodded, though inside, he was only partially listening and he felt a bit embarrassed at how easily you exited the maze-like hallways of the third floor when he spent nearly half an hour just lost in the halls.

You two arrived on the 7th floor and you guided him to room number 31. The conversation in the elevator was short-lived and because you were nervous, being around Mr. Lee Chan for the first time, you couldn't speak properly sometimes even though you badly wanted to.

As you two were walking down the hallway, you finally said, “I really like your films, Mr. Lee.”

Your hands were shyly clasped in front of you as you two walked at the same pace, side by side, your feet leaving pit-pat echoes. The 7th floor was designed similarly to the 3rd, but there was a noticeable difference in the number of rooms. From up here, he could see the dark, nearly midnight sky from the small window across the straight hallway.

“I also didn't say this earlier but thank you for helping me get out of the problem I had with that guest...” You finally said. Walking alongside your idol had made your brain malfunction and only now, you realized that you should have thanked him sooner.

Chan shook his head humbly. “It's nothing.”

He was in a hurry to sleep but for some reason, he didn't want to send you away and walk by himself. He liked the pace at which you two were taking steps. Rhythmically, your right foot would step out when his did, and your left foot would take a step when he did as well.

“I'm wondering... why did you help me? Was it because you thought it was the right thing to do?” You asked, looking at him.

He glanced forward but then lowered his head again, fascinated by your matching walking pace, while not hesitating to reply. “Yeah. I know how it feels to be falsely accused of something or be used by customers to let out their anger. I don't ever want to see that kind of language being thrown at staff like you, if anything, they wouldn't blame you but call the manager.”

You nodded, smiling gently as you two walked. You could see his room ahead, which made you want to slow down so that you two could share a bit more conversation. Gradually, you began to slow the pace, not realizing that Mr. Lee Chan's footsteps were continuing to match with yours even after the change.

“What films are your favorite?” Chan asked without realizing, his eyes focused on your cadence feet. The words had escaped his mouth and rolled off his tongue as if he had been wanting to ask that question all along. When he did come to realize that he said something, you were already answering his questions with glee.

“I like all of them but your first film forever stays in my heart! ‘Danceology’ was such a moving, heart-wrenching movie, it was the most beautiful masterpiece I'd ever seen!” You exclaimed, your eyes beaming with enthusiasm. Chan looked up at you and couldn't help but smile. You paused in front of a door, which he noticed was room 317.

“I was really touched by your acting... though it was your first project, you did a really beautiful job of acting out the emotions, I remember that I cried a river on my sweater when I watched that movie in the theater!” Your eyes met with Chan's and your heart skipped a beat but you continued, excited about the topic of his movies. “But what I love the most is the cinematography of the movie! I heard that you directed and wrote the movie yourself with the help of a few friends, I really admire you for that, Mr. Lee!”

Chan smiled, flattered by your words. He did have thoughts after he finished a film, usually thoughts like “this one was filmed beautifully” or “this one was acted out nicely”. However, even when movie critics told him he did well and his movies became hits, he never felt as happy as he did now and on the day his first movie won an award.

There was just something about your genuinely excited expression and passion when you spoke that drew him in. Your charming voice made him want to watch his first film again.

You rambled on and on for who knows how long but Chan didn't insert his key card. You forgot about the fact that you were doing an extra cleaning shift and got caught up in the conversation with Chan, and Chan, who was initially tired, suddenly wanted to stay up all night talking.

There was just something about the way you spoke spiritedly that drew him in. There was just something about the way your hands moved messily whenever you were explaining a scene you loved; something about the way you didn't stop smiling at all, like his movies gave you pure happiness.

There was just something about you.

----------------

request: *I changed it so that Chan would be a CEO instead of an idol*

time finished: I don't remember lol since I wrote it all at once (including the upcoming parts that still need revision)

154 notes · View notes

everlasting-stories · 3 years ago

Text

To Feel Again [M]

Genre: light angst, romance

Warnings[!]: smut, penetration, creampie, unprotected sex, mentions of adult toys

Pairing: Doyoung x Reader

Words: 4.4k / One-shot

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Valentine's Day: the day of roses and hearts and chocolates and romantic candlelit dinners. When people proposed marriage and professed undying love.

You sighed, staring unseeing into your bowl of cornflakes as they succumbed to their milky grave and turned to soggy goop. Funny how a date on a calendar could open the pit of despair that lived somewhere near your stomach. It had to be near your stomach. You've been reasonably hungry until you've noticed the date and the pit opened. Your hunger had fallen into it, and the memories and pain rose out of it.

There was a time when this day had been wonderful. Life had been wonderful, you didn't need Valentine's Day, but you celebrated it with reverence and, sometimes, wild abandon.

You knew what love was, what it felt like to love a man and how it felt to lose him. You remembered what he'd said that last morning, how he'd kissed you; how the sun had lit his face as he smiled, promising he'd be back. You also remembered the police, how the sun seemed to dim as they told you the phrases out of courtesy. They were sorry for your loss. They will let you know of details as soon as the investigation on the accident comes to an end.

Since that time, Valentine's Day had passed unheralded, unheeded and uncelebrated. You knew you were a joke of the office - entering thirties soon and never been fucked, that's what they said. The borning woman who had no idea what fun was, wouldn't have known what to do with a man if by some miracle you did catch the attention of one. They were wrong, of course. Not that it was any of their business; it certainly didn't affect your ability to do your job.

If you chose to act and dress your age and spend your evenings quietly, rather than as mutton dressed as lamb in some gaudy nightclub, surely that was your right?

You sighed again, getting up from the table, taking your cereal bowl and dumping the gloop down the sink. A bleak day of petty jibes and pitying looks lay ahead. At least you knew what to expect this year.

Last year had been your first Valentine's Day with this particular company and, therefore, your first with this particular bunch of malicious people - your fellow employees. As front counter receptionist, you were the company's first "public face" and some of your co-workers had decided it didn't look good if that face wasn't surrounded by gifts from admirers on this day.

When the first bunch of anonymous flowers had arrived, you've been flustered, flattered and flabbergasted that anyone would send you flowers. You had hurriedly cleared a space on the counter for them, proudly displaying them, fussing with them to show them off at their best and make them visible from the greatest distance. You kept touching them, moving them slightly, reaffirming they were really there. Your heart sang; someone had noticed you. Maybe he was too shy to reveal himself; maybe he was married and couldn't: your mind was alive with questions, trying to solve the mystery of their origin. You were all in all happy.

Then a large box of chocolates arrived, closely followed by more flowers. By lunchtime, these had been joined by a little plush cherub, two red plush love hearts, a pair of earrings, three more bunches of flowers, four assorted boxes of chocolates and a large jar of candy hearts. They all carried the same anonymous message. And you knew then and there what is the catch behind this.

By the end of the day there were nine flower arrangements, ten boxes of chocolates, three cherubs, the two red love hearts, three teddy bears, two jars of candy, the earrings and a gift box containing four pairs of edible undies. Just before the close of business the final humiliation came - a fantastically wrapped see through box containing an inflatable male doll with vibrating tongue, a massive purple vibrating dildo and a copy of the Sex for The Beginners book.

You had to stay at your post until the last visitor or client left. But the rest of the staff was already heading out of the building. Some boggled at your desk, some snickered, a couple made loud crass comments and a very few had appeared horrified at the pile of stuff surrounding yourself. The building had almost emptied before that last visitor departed. You were sure that, too, was a set-up, particularly when you saw it was the client that had been visiting quite frequently lately.

Myungsoo ushered the man to the street and turned back to you as you gathered your coat and handbag, ready to escape.

"Gee, you're a popular girl. Who would have thought?" He reached your counter and began collecting up the flowers, grinning madly. "Let me help you with all that."

Before you could say a word, he bundled all the flowers, chocolates and assorted other items into your arms. You could barely see where you were going. Myungsoo put his arm around your back and shepherded you out the door, peeking at the vibrator in its transparent box. "There you go, sweetheart. Looks like you're definitely gonna get some action tonight." He turned smartly away, laughing as he rapidly put distance between the two of you.

You obviously had thrown the whole lot in the nearest dumpster and hurried to the relative sanctuary of your car before breaking down and sobbing, burying your head in your hands to hide from prying eyes of curious passer-bys.

Standing at your kitchen sink, you wondered what they'd pull this year. It couldn't be worse, could it? You sighed again and then abruptly shook your head, standing straighter. To hell with it - you were not going to let them get to you today.

It had already begun when you arrived. A bouquet of irises sat at the front of the counter. You were tempted to throw them straight in the garbage, but decided they were too pretty, too unusual. So they stayed. Curiosity got the better of you as you looked at the card, expecting it to say something sappy and insincere, as last year's cards had.

"You are worth far more than they will ever realise. Hear the flowers."

You pondered the card. Hear the flowers?

What on earth did that mean? You raised an eyebrow as you settled into your post: at least it seemed this year would be more intriguing than last. During quiet moments throughout the morning, you'd pick up the card, reread the cryptic message and study the beautiful bouquet, but its secret was never revealed.

No gifts arrived for you, no more flowers. You were relieved, but it only served to deepen the mystery of the flowers. As your lunch hour approached, other staff began filtering out of their offices to take a break. They all noticed the irises. Several of the women stopped and commented on their beauty. No one laughed.

As always, you left the building for lunch. You would usually grab a sandwich somewhere and do a bit of window shopping. Anything to get away for an hour - if you stayed in the office, someone always "needed" you for something.

When you returned, a neatly typed page was on your desk: "The meaning of flowers". One line was highlighted in blue: "Iris: Have Faith. Don't Give Up On Hope." A single purple violet was pinned to the page. You scanned the page to find "Violet (Purple): You occupy my thoughts". You put the page to one side, but still in view, unsure whether to laugh at it and throw it along with the flowers away before the punch line or wait it out. This was definitely a far more sophisticated assault than last year.

Throughout the afternoon a steady procession of couriers arrived, carrying flowers and gifts. You nervously watched each one approach your counter, only to breathe a sigh of relief as the teddy bears and hearts, the chocolates and flowers were all destined for other souls.

At 4:30PM a man approached your station: nothing unusual in that; everyone that came to see someone had to check in with you. What was unusual was that he actually saw you as a fellow human, not a robot programmed to take names and give directions. He smiled at you, a real smile that reached his eyes and warmed your heart. Something familiar in his eyes...

"Good afternoon. My name is Kim Doyoung. I have an appointment to speak to Choi Myungsoo. Would you mind letting him know I am here, please?"

Quickly, you dialled Myungsoo's extension, giving him the information. Myungsoo, as usual was brusque to the point of rude, telling you to "entertain the idiot 'till I'm ready for him - he's not supposed to be here for another 15 minutes".

You were tempted to tell the polite gentleman exactly what Myungsoo had said, but instead used your tact and diplomacy (that was why you were hired after all) to tell him that "Mr. Choi is a little delayed. He will be available in a few minutes."

With that being said, you offered him a seat.

Again he smiled. "Those are beautiful flowers," he said, nodding towards the iris bouquet. "A discerning choice for a lovely lady."

You lowered your eyes, feeling the heat rise in your face, knowing you were blushing.

His voice softened and became much quieter. "You don't remember me, do you?" Your eyes flew to his face, confused. Were you supposed to know this charming man?

"I had an appointment here at the same time, on this day last year. I was waiting outside for a taxi when you left. That was uncalled for, the whole situation that happened - mean and heartless and exactly what I would expect of Myungsoo and his friends. I deal with them only because I must. They offer a service unparalleled in this town."

He leaned across the counter, his voice so low only you could hear. "How they manage it, I cannot tell. They are pig swill and don't know a pearl when confronted with one." Doyoung paused, seeming to weigh up his next statement, then leaned closer to you. "Did you hear the flowers?"

Your eyes again flew to his face, your mouth falling open a little. "You sent them?"

"I did. And the violet. I had hoped to counter whatever crass display they had planned this year. Would you possibly consider spending the evening with me?" His face was eager, hopeful. "A nice dinner?"

You were stunned, flattered, amazed - but also wary. This was Myungsoo's client. He could easily have been put up to this. You studied his face closely, seeking any hint of a lurking cad. His face fell. "But, of course, you have other plans. I apologise for embarrassing you." He moved away and sat, abashed, on one of the hideous lounge chairs to await his appointment.

You studied this man. He didn't seem to fit the mould of Myungsoo's usual cohorts. For one thing he was unerringly polite. He was also good looking, very, very good looking, without being outstanding or flashy. He was also much closer to your age than Myungsoo's and had an air of quiet confidence, like he had nothing to prove to anyone and nothing to fear from them either. You looked at the flowers. Could Myungsoo have possibly thought of something this elegant? You didn't think so. You took a deep breath: to hell with it.

"Mr. Kim?" He looked up. "What time would you like to pick me up?"

In your bedroom, staring at the clothes hanging limply in your closet, the cool bravado that had claimed you as you agreed to the date vanished. In its place indecision, doubt and outright terror took hold. It seemed painfully obvious to you now, away from the office and that lovely man, that it was all another twisted joke, something for the office beautiful people to laugh at during tomorrow's coffee breaks. Why did you say yes? Your wardrobe was woefully inadequate. It was years since you'd been out with a man; you were bound to make a fool of yourself, even if it wasn't a set-up.

At that thought your heart jumped and lurched. The possibility that Mr. Kim - no, Doyoung; this was a date not a business appointment - was sincere in his wish to take you out only heightened your confusion and indecision.

Finally, in desperation and the realisation that if you didn't decide soon, you'd still be in your underwear when he arrived; you chose a chanel-knee length cremé skirt and baby pink cashmere sweater, topped off with knee length boots. The heels were quite high, but you remembered him being tall, so that wouldn't be an issue, as long as you didn't fall over in them.

You were saved from an overcritical examination in the mirror. You had just completed applying your makeup when Doyoung arrived. You grabbed your coat and quickly walked out the door, before you had time to rethink and back out.

"You look lovely," Doyoung said, smiling down at you. Feeling the heat creeping up your cheeks; you weren't used to receiving compliments, particularly from someone like him. You mumbled a shy thanks as he helped you put on your coat and led you to his car.

Sitting in the car as he drove, you were able to study the mysterious man that is Kim Doyoung. He was extremely handsome, not in the classical sense, but he certainly was far from a plain looking man - a man at peace with himself. He knew who he was and was content with that; he knew what he wanted and how to get it; and what was beyond his capabilities and lost no sleep over it. He obviously managed quite well; his car was expensive but not too flashy.

The restaurant he took you too was a quiet small place, away from the standard eat-and-entertain strip. It was intimate without claustrophobia; the decor was elegant without being overbearing; the lighting low but not dim; the service attentive without being intrusive. The food you could not describe - later, you barely remembered what you had eaten beyond it being "nice" - your attention was totally taken by Doyoung.

He was gallant and charming; helping you with your coat and holding your chair for you at the intimate table for two tucked away in a corner. Doyoung quietly suggested items on the menu he thought you might like. It was obvious he'd been here before, was a regular, but usually without company. His choice of wine was perfect to go with the excellent food as you enjoyed each other's company.

And you talked.

You learned a lot about him. Doyoung was 34, older than you had thought; he had been engaged, but his fiancé decided to break off the engagement for simply falling out of love. He had had a series of short term relationships that had petered out and, for the past several years, had lived a solitary life, rarely going out with women. He didn't work as such; his livelihood came from investments, which explained him being a client of the company you worked in. Myungsoo may be a jerk, but he was the one of the best investment brokers around.

He had been attracted to you the first time he met you, a year ago, but had been intimidated by the evidence of all your admirers. When he realised it was all a cruel joke played by his adviser and the other brokers, he was mortified. He had seriously considered changing brokers, going to another organisation but that would have meant he had no chance of meeting you again. So he stayed. He had been in your office on three occasions since then, and each time had seen your quiet, unflappable charm and how your talent and lovely nature were either ignored or taken for granted by those around you. He was determined to gain your attention, but without the office cricus freaks being able to use it against you, hence the mystery flower delivery this morning.

You found yourself opening up to Doyoung. He seemed sincerely interested in hearing what you had to say, hanging on your every word. It was a liberating and wonderfully powerful feeling. You weren't used to being the centre of anyone's attention. You told him of your pride at the independence since the loss of your lover, all those years ago. You were happy in your little home, content with your work, rarely coming to the attention of the office jokers.

It was over coffee that you admitted to Doyoung something you haven't admitted to yourself: your life was lonely and you missed the affection of another person. You missed the companionship of sharing your life with someone.

Immediately after the words had left your lips you regretted them. You have given away too much of yourself, been too forward. You lowered your eyes, not wanting to see the closed expression you knew would be on his face, so you didn't see the fleeting look of pain, quickly followed by understanding and hope.

However, you did feel his hand close over yours and squeeze lightly. You looked up into a face of gentle eyes and soft smile. "Would you like to take a walk with me," he said quietly. "I think it's time we leave - they want to close the restaurant anyway."

You looked around yourself noticing that you two were the only people other than staff left in the restaurant, and many of the lights were dimmed. You gasped in wonder - you had no idea you've been there so long. "Yes, a walk would be lovely."

Doyoung ushered you along the street and across a small, neat park to a promenade along the riverbank. It was enough lit to feel safe and you walked along arm in arm. You felt his arm snake around your waist hugging you closer to him, and you snuggled against him, your arm around his back. The moon was up, the stars were out and the night was peaceful and clear.

Your heart was singing and your eyes sparkled. You've been right to take this gamble. He was sincere, and it was wonderful. But the night was late, and it was rather cold.

You shivered. Doyoung felt it immediately and turned off the promenade proposing to head back toward the street where he had left the car. "I'd better take you home. It wouldn't be much of a date if you ended up ill."

At your door, Doyoung formally thanked you for a lovely evening and asked if he could see you again. You smiled and surprised yourself only a little by reaching up and kissing him lightly on the lips before saying: "Would you like to come in for a nightcap?"

Doyoung blinked, looking mildly bemused for a moment before studying your face. "Are you sure?"

Oh, most definitely, you were sure. You have thought of nothing else since you two have left the river. He looked right, he felt right, and he smelt right. You wanted him but was sure he'd never make a move. He was too much of a gentleman to ever force the issue.

You took his hand and led him into your home, kicking the door closed with your foot, shutting out the rest of the world with its mean people and ugly attitudes. You reached up to kiss him again. This time he lowered his head to yours, cradling your face in his hands as he returned the kiss. The lips met and parted, allowing the tongues to join and caress each other. His hands moved down from your face to caress your body, yours moving up from his hips. Both of you parted, searching each other's faces for confirmation of your desires.

"I think we're on the same page," you said. "Why don't you leave your coat on the couch? Do you want the nightcap now, or after the tour?"

"I'll put a hold on the nightcap," Doyoung answered, reading the desire in your eyes and knowing it was mirrored in his while stripping off the coat.

"Right."

You took his hand again. "This is the lounge. There," you pointed to the right, "is the kitchen and dining room. This way," pulling him down the hall, "is the second bedroom, the bathroom and," dragging him through a doorway, "here is the main bedroom."

"Very nice," he said, looking around, trying not to focus on the bed.

Suddenly shy, you both looked at anything but each other, awkward in a lack of intimate knowledge of each other. Doyoung tentatively reached out a hand to you, aiming to caress your breast, veering off at the last moment to your shoulder, but still lightly brushing your breast with his fingertips. Your gasped breath emboldened him and he reached his other hand, caressing your other breast lightly as you shivered under his touch and sighed.

Your own hands went to his chest, running down the front of his shirt and back up, then beginning to undo the buttons, pulling the shirt from his trousers and teasing his bare skin with your fingers.

Doyoung pulled his shirt off and then raised the sweater over your head and off the arms, moving in to kiss you as his hands went around your back to undo the clasps of a bra and returned to cup your breasts. The sensation on your breasts as he caressed and pinched the nipples sent a sharp message straight between your legs. You could feel yourself becoming moist and shuddered under his touch; breath becoming uneven.

Pushing him away you removed the skirt, letting it pool at your feet while looking into his eyes. Doyoung took the hint and began unbuckling his belt, then grinned foolishly and sat beside you to take off his socks, sneaking kisses of your neck and shoulders as he did so. You both stood again, slightly apart. He dropped his trousers and you could see his briefs pushed out of shape by his erection, the fabric straining.

Doyoung stepped up, taking you in his arms, kissing down your neck and across the collarbone, his hands lowering to your hips, sliding under the elastic and beginning to tug your panties down. Your own hands flew to the top of his briefs. Together, you pulled down the underwear, stepping out of them and standing naked before each other. Again Doyoung moved first, holding you and gently pushing backwards onto the bed, following after you onto it.

He ran one hand down the body of yours, teasing and tickling the beginning of your womanhood and beyond, teasing you with his fingers, tickling across your mound and easing around your damp centre. You moaned as he explored, your hips twisting and twitching. It had been so long since another man had touched you there. It felt amazing, wonderful, but achingly short of what you needed. You could feel his hardness against your thigh. Reaching down, you took his cock into your hand. It was hot, hard and pulsed under your touch. Doyoung groaned and his hips jerked convulsively. You kissed him hard and whispered fiercely, "Please, it's been too long. I need you, now."

"For me too, far too long," Doyoung gasped back, rolling you onto your back and positioning himself before gently splitting your lips and sliding steadily but firmly into you. Your moans were prominent in the air as he stretched and filled you right, not stopping his steady thrust until he was wholly inside you, your warm walls gripping him tightly. Your eyes met and locked as you lay still, immersed in the feeling of each other's body.

Being warm, wet and a safe haven, you were engulfing his cock. Doyoung was filling you with his hard heat, owning your body completely. You fit each other perfectly; you could see it in each other's eyes. You belonged together.

As great as this feeling was, you needed more. Doyoung slowly withdrew, till only the very tip split you. Both groaning as he pushed back in, again slowly feeling each other with delectable inch. Slowly in and out, in and out, revelling in the feeling of each other's bodies, gradually building up speed as your need increased.

You could feel the fire building, the tension increasing as sensation on sensation smashed into you with each thrust, your body twitching, your hips writhing. Still it built; higher, tighter, fiercer. Your entire being was wrapped around Doyoung's cock as it pumped in and out of you. You could hear him grunting with each thrust, feel his body trembling as he got closer to his climax. His speed increased and you breath got caught in your throat, your back arched, legs went stiff as you began to twitch when the white light exploded through you, spreading warmth and scattering your senses.

You felt, from far away but deep within you, Doyoung losing his rhythm before coming, pumping wildly into you, grunting and thrusting hard one last time as he shot deep inside you feeling spent but overly fulfilled.

Your hand was making lazy circles on Doyoung's chest as you lay, curled against his side with a head on his shoulder. You weren't sure how you've come to be in this position, but it felt so right and he smelled so good.

You were at peace while drifting off to sleep.

Waking up without feeling body by your side, you immediately felt the loss. Doyoung wasn't there. Your heart dropped, the pit near your stomach threatened to open and engulf it. Sensing the tears coming up, you accidentally feel something on your side with a hand.

He wasn't there. But there was a note.

"I am so sorry. I hate to leave you, knowing you will wake alone. There is something I must do."

You had just finished reading when the phone rang, disturbing your thoughts. Grudgingly, you moved to answer it. "Hello."

"Wish I was still beside you."

Your heart flipped again. The pit dissolved so you could breathe again before whispering, "Doyoung."

"Y/N. Tell me, what are you planning for breakfast?"

"Uhm. Coffee? Maybe some toast. Why?"

"Don't move. I'm on my way. With breakfast. And it's better than toast."

You lay back in bed, listening to the dial tone after he hung up. Surprised, you smile softly. You must remember to thank Myungsoo for introducing them.

If this is how you will feel loved and feel free to love again, you have no complaints.

Your new chapter is about to begin and hopefully, it will last for a very long time with a man named Kim Doyoung.

#one shot #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct fanfiction #doyoung #kim doyoung #doyoung x reader #doyoung scenarios #doyoung fanfic #doyoung smut #romance #nct romance #nct angst #nct 127 #nct u #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 fanfic

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sapphire-dreamsky · 4 years ago

Text

Headcanons of Sukuna being turned into a child for an entire day

A/N: This is my first time doing headcanon, hopefully I do it right. I find the idea of Sukuna, the feared king of curses getting turned into a child hilarious for some reasons. Might be my tired mind which wants a break from studying😅. For this idea's sake, Sukuna has his own body. I leave it to your imagination if he is still a curse but was somehow enrolled into helping sorcerers (highly improbable), or he is born as a sorcerer.

Also, I wish to thank my followers, for liking my content enough to want to stick around. I won't be posting much (University just started but I am already so busy with assignments and such). I will try to write as much as I can but there will be months where I won't be posting lengthy stories. So yeah, sorry for the long ramble, just wanted to let you know how grateful I am. Without futher ado, let's jump right into the arms of Sukuna lol.

You were sent on a mission of high importance.

It was your first time doing it and you were proud to be the one chosen for such a task.

However, Sukuna was bored and according to him, you were the only interesting person in his eyes (besides Megumi of course) when it comes to hanging out with either Itadori or Nobara or god forbid, Gojo Satoru. Beurk, his own words.

Actually, he was kind of forced to say that since you are dating.

And Sukuna doesn't date boring or weak people.

So, with him in toe, after you made him swear he won't interfere unless necessary, you both headed to the place where the exorcism would take place.

It was a special grade curse. One of which was that the nature of it's jujutsu was unknown since it was only discovered recently.

In hindsight, knowing the elders, the mission could have been a suicide missio meant to get rid of you because you disagree with the system.

And it doesn't help that you are Satoru's student. A well-known thorn in their side despite his immeasurable strength.

Despite that, a mission was a mission. And with Sukuna by your side, you were quite confident of coming out of this alive. Not that you couldn't on your own, but he is like a booster...or a support character. But don't tell him that.

The mission was going smoothly. The curse was not as impressive as the document made it out to be.

Or so you two thought.

When you were ready to go, a beam of light was thrown at you.

Sukuna threw himself in front of you.

You were quite worried. He is your boyfriend for God's sake! Despite him claiming he is the strongest, you were still allowed to fret over him at times! And the curse was already exorcised. So where did the beam come from?!

However, there were more important matters at hand.

Like where did he go?

Why were his clothes lying down like back with a bundle in the middle?! Why was the bundle moving?! Why was it cursing?!

Then...the cutest red eyes emerged from the kimono and stared at you. His eyebrows were furrowed as were per usual.

You had to hold in a squeal because...how could you imagine he would be as adorable as this as a child?!

"Oh my God! Sukuna! You are so cute!"

He grimaces.

"Shut up, woman. Help me out."

Immediately after getting him out from the mountain of clothes, you find out that he is naked.

Quickly averting your eyes, you bunch up his clothes and try your best to protect his modesty.

You returned to the school by teleportation and went to find Ieri-sensei.

She was perplexed but didn't see anything wrong with his body or soul.

"The effects might last for a day or two. Don't worry about it."

So you didn't worry over it. But you had to find him clothes.

So you got off to the city to buy appropriate clothes for a grumpy Sukuna who was clutching at you tightly while glaring at anyone who looked at him for more than two seconds.

It was the first time you entered a baby's clothes shop and you were in awe at the multiple array of choices of clothes and toys they sold here.

You went over to the male isle and with some convincing, managed to buy a tiger onesie for him. And another with the saying "I'm a little adorable cuddly monster"

A man tried to flirt with you there.

To which he glared and declared, "She is my woman, you idiot."

You had to clear up the misunderstanding.

"He is the son of my neighbour, haha. I'm babysitting him."

Still his glare scared off the guy.

You gave Sukuna a disapproving stare.

As punishment, you told him he would have to let you take pictures of him in the onesies.

This got you the scariest glare he could manage and a cute pout.

After your little shopping trip, you guys decided to drop by a cafe for some sweets.

He would have refused if he knew they would meet that annoying blindfolded kinky bastard again.

"AH! (Y/N)-CHAN! I didn't know you and Sukuna had such a cute kid!"

Cue, he tried to poke at Sukuna's cheeks.

..."ITE!!!!"

Satoru held his offending finger which was now a glaring red. Because he was wearing his sunglasses, you could see big fat tears droplets at the corner of his eyes.

You were skeptical because, shouldn't Sukuna have bitten down on the infinity separating him from the world?

"Your kid is as mean as his dad! That's so unfair!"

Sukuna swore angrily while trying to kick the man as best as he could in your arms.

You explained the situation to Satoru who only started cackling as if he was mad.

"That's Sukuna? Hahahahahaha."

Sukuna hopes he dies on the spot.

After that humiliating meeting, you head back to your dorm.

The only good thing that came out of this was that he could stay with you.

After dressing him up in these adorable onesies, a photoshoot was a must.

He glared at you during all this.

Midway through, he fell asleep.

You decided to tuck him in safely in case he rolled over.

This was truly a blessing in disguise, you decided before your eyes closed, tired of the excitement of the day.

Bonus

You woke up to someone holding you in a death grip.

It was way too warm.

Trying to push the offending furnace away, your eyes suddenly opened.

"Wha-?"

There was a sight that was even more precious than kid Sukuna.

The man was sleeping soundly, soft snores exiting his parted mouth.

Truly, he is the most adorable man in the world...when he wasn't being murderous and mean that is.

One of his eyes cracked open.

"Take a picture, it will last longer."

With a smirk, you did that.

#ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk sukuna

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roll-da-credits · 3 years ago

Text

HC: 104th Corps Forgetting Their S/o's Birthday

Characters: Mikasa, Jean, Connie

A/n: sorry for not posting for a while, I was caught up in writing a book I want to make for a friend of mine birthday, this was hilarious to write cause I'm just thinking of Modern Mikasa setting a hundred reminders about your birthday. Anyways, hope you guys enjoy this!

🖤❤️🖤

Mikasa Ackerman

I don't even know how it's possible for Mikasa to forget your birthday, she has prepared for your birthday MONTHS before your actual birthday

But then, on the day of your birthday, she was too busy with everything around her

From Eren planning mass genocide again, Armin freaking out that Eren is planning mass genocide, to Sasha stealing every single food from Nicolo (this is set around Nicolo arrives in Paradis and before Eren went batshit)

Needless to say, she was so busy that she completely forgot

To be honest, because of how hectic the day was, you almost forgot as well, if not for some of the scouts wishing you a very quick happy birthday when they passed you by, before going back to whatever they were doing

Even Levi wished you a happy birthday, so you were a bit sour when you realized Mikasa wasn't going to

Though you waited until nighttime before making any assumptions, when it came and she got ready to sleep then you truly realized she forgot

Of course, you told her that it was your birthday and, cue Mikasa freaking the fuck out.

She immediately apologized a lot, getting your gifts and explaining what plans she had planned beforehand to do on your birthday, only for her to forget

She feels INCREDIBLY bad, almost like when she thought Eren died, kind of bad. You'll have to be the one to say it's alright and that you understand because you knew she wouldn't have forgotten your birthday at all if it wasn't for how busy the day was.

The next day though, she PAMPERS you, she feels really bad for missing your birthday so she follows you around the next day helping with anything and everything that you were doing, getting you water when you were tired, and basically helping you out.

Jean Kirstein

Another person I literally could not see forgetting your birthday, this man probably is one of the person who most cares about his friends, but still acts low-key about it

So again, for him to forget your birthday, it was probably a hectic day.

He had already drawn you a beautiful self portrait of yourself and was planning to give that as a gift alongside other small trinkets the night before.

But when morning came, he's immediately dragged out of bed by Sasha and Connie, since he woke up late, and you were missing. So your birthday didn't really register in his mind.

After being dragged out of bed he was immediately pushed to do his duties, from a lot of discussions with the Anti Marleyan Volunteers, to building more stuff to accommodate the new trade with the Azumabito clan

Long story short he forgot because the entire day he didn't see you and he was too tired with the grueling tasks he had to endure to remember

When you realized he forgot since he wasn't seeking you out, you were rather pissed, so when you did meet him and he still didn't say any kind of happy birthday you gave him the silent treatment, much to his dismay

He's been through the silent treatment with Mikasa before and when you started doing it he panicked, trying to think what he did wrong, only to remember it was your birthday.

No matter how late it is he will suddenly just surprise you the moment you come in to your room, you looked around and you realized he set up a small birthday party extremely quickly and a bit messily.

Candles everywhere for the romantic aspect, a small cake he begged Nicolo to make last minute on the table, and his beautiful drawing completed with him begging for you to forgive him.

Which how could you not??? The man drew a beautiful portrait for you.

Connie Springer

Connie is one of those guys that I could def see forgetting your birthday, he's one of those guys that remember like 2 months before your actual birthday and prepares your gift then

But the next week, completely forgets what he bought and if he did buy you a present

Well the day of your birthday, the two of you woke up and you expected him to say Happy Birthday to you first, but instead he simply said good morning and went about with his day

It wasn't even a busy day, it was a normal day whereas usual he had to do a lot of things but it wasn't a hectic day like in Mikasa's or Jean's case

He just forgot

And somehow, he didn't realize it when Nicolo gave you a small pastry to go with your lunch, nor did he realize it when he sees a bunch more people go up to you only for them to say a couple of words and go on with their day

Dense

Mother

Fucker

Obviously, you feel really annoyed, he was your boyfriend for god's sake and somehow he forgot about your birthday.

Sasha and Jean at this point had already wished you a happy birthday though after seeing how sad you seemed asked you what was wrong. After explaining that Connie probably forgot, they both were pretty pissed.

Connie probably got a good scolding from Jean whilst Sasha watched.

Afterward, he'd actually remember he got you a gift a while back, and after apologizing and setting up a small apology date for the two of you with the help of Jean and Sasha, he finally wished you a happy birthday.

Btw you can definitely use this incident to guilt-trip him any time in the future.

#jean x reader #connie x reader #mikasa x reader #jean kirstein x reader #connie springer x reader #mikasa ackerman x reader #attack on titan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #connie springer headcanons #connie springer #jean kirstein headcanons #mikasa ackerman headcanons #mikasa is a baddie who'd I'd let step on me

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mrslittletall · 4 years ago

Note

saw your whump post, honestly the "I'm fine" screams Hornet to me, so it'd be cool to see that! - dooblebugs

Title: The Idol Fandom: Hollow Knight Characters: Hornet & Little Ghost Word Count: 2.825 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30941981

Summary: After the Hollow Knight is freed from the temple, Hornet does her best to take care of the ones that are still left in Hallownest. Everything should be fine... until it isn't.

(Author's note: @dooblebugs

I thought about using canon verse with “Almost everyone lives AU” or your Mer AU. But ultimately, canon verse won, because I still miss some context for the Mer AU. I hope you enjoy.)

Hornet opened her eyes and jumped on her feet right away. Her day would always start with hunting and gathering food, preferably before Hollow woke up and tried to move, and it was a whole other problem trying to haul a bug their size back into bed, especially when they rigorously ignored their wounds.

While Hornet trusted Quirrel and Cloth enough to leave Hollow in their care for a while, she always felt better if she could look over them personally. However, the longer she hesitated with leaving, the longer she would need to come back, so Hornet left the house in Dirtmouth they had inhabited for Hollow's recovery and went towards the crossroads.

The little pitter-patter of tiny feet next to her prompted Hornet to look down. Ghost had decided to accompany her again. They always would. She could tell them a hundred times to stay behind, they would never listen. For a vessel meant to be void of mind, Ghost was one of the bugs with the strongest will that Hornet ever had seen.

“You will still come with me, even if I say no, right, little Ghost?”, Hornet said, shouldering her needle. Ghost didn't nod or sign at her, they simply stared, with their unblinking, never changing expression. It was enough for Hornet to know that they wouldn't leave.

“Alright, but don't get into my way.”, Hornet said. At this, Ghost swung their nail and jumped in front of Hornet in a pose that depicted a challenge, then their nail went down on the ground in a strike, the swing of it breaking through the calmness of the morning.

“I know! I know! You've beaten me twice, but... I have gone easy on you.”, Hornet half hissed. It was a blatant lie and she knew it. The first time she had simply underestimated them (or she simply had become tired of fighting) and the second time... she had given it her all and they still had remained victorious. In a sense, Ghost was the new king of Hallownest, but they didn't seem to put any mind on the title. They didn't even seem to be wanting to be celebrated for being the saviour of Hallownest. They simply joined Hornet every morning for hunting and went off on their own afterwards, always coming back to play with their friends in Dirtmouth.

As the both of them jumped down the well, Hornet couldn't help but think about that there wasn't much to rule anymore. This kingdom was in shambles. It had been two weeks and the dried off infection still crusted the crossroads, too little bugs alive to care much about cleaning the place up. It was becoming more and more difficult to get food, because so many of the infected had simply been reanimated husks, without any meat left in them.

They surely would have to wander to Greenpath again, hopefully finding a few vengeflies and mosscreeps to bring home.

Hornet was used being alone. She had been alone for a very long time. She had managed. She never was lonely... well, maybe a little lonely and now there was a bunch of strangers up in Dirtmouth who relied on her. Hornet never wanted for anyone to rely on her. She had seen what happened when bugs relied on someone and... there wasn't a solution.

She looked down on Ghost again, they had their nail on the ready and stared vigilantly in front of them. They must have crossed this crossroads a dozen times on their journey, still expecting to be attacked by the infected every given minute. Hornet could understand that it was hard for them to let go of old habits.

She was the same. She never let go of her needle as well. Even with the infection never being able to come back, she had to remain vigilant. She would protect her siblings, no matter what. She wouldn't, no she couldn't, let anyone down.

“We are nearing Greenpath.”, she said, only to cut through the silence between them. She knew it wasn't Ghost's fault that they didn't have a voice, but after years of not being able to talk to anyone, Hornet barely could stand the silence, when there was someone she could talk to. “Remember, when we hunt the mosscreeps, take their leaves as well, for the herbivores.”

While Hornet was able to eat plant matter as well, it never had been satisfying to her. She was the daughter of a spider and a wyrm, both predators, and therefore she usually would hunt for food. She was unsure about what kind of diet Ghost and Hollow needed, but they seemed to be content with the prey she brought back, so she wouldn't change anything about it.

“And remember, we can't hunt too much. The population needs a chance to recover.”, she said as well. The infection had done a number on the whole of Hallownest... it wasn't a surprise that there was such a food shortage. In fact, Hornet had cut her own food intake in favour of her siblings and anyone who couldn't hunt or still needed to recover. That bug, Tiso, came to mind. Had a far too big stomach for having been utterly destroyed by the colloseum of fools. Why Ghost had dragged him back to Dirthmouth, she would never understand.

Ghost showed that they understood with a little nod of their head and the both of them entered Greenpath. It was a MUCH nicer place without the infection, but they still had to pay attention, the fool eater plants were easy to overlook (not that Hornet had ever overlooked them, but Ghost tended to forget...) and there were some predators still around, though they were no match for her needle. The problem was to avoid them to not hunt too much. Like she had said to Ghost, they needed to give the population time to recover, if they wouldn't want all to starve beforehand.

“We get only enough for everyone back in Dirtmouth.”, Hornet said again. “Then we leave again. Let's search for some mosscreeps first.”

The both of them jumped and slashed their way through the vegetation of Greenpath. While Hornet preferred to use her needle, Ghost had found a lot of new ways to move around since the first time they fought and they dashed (literally leaving their shell behind and somehow phasing through time and space) and jumped with wings that reminded Hornet of her father... and she got a bad feeling in her guts every time she saw them.

After a bit of time, they had managed to hunt two vengeflies to bring back, Hornet keeping them cocooned up for transportation and were now searching through the vegetation for some mosscreeps. Finally, Hornet found one and struck it down with her needle, preparing a cocoon for it again, when Ghost picked something up from the grass.

“Ghost, what do you have there?”, Hornet asked. The item was too small to be prey and they tended to hoard stuff they found. It probably was just something that was completely worthless nowadays, only generating Geo when given to this historian in the City of Tears. She still wanted to know.

Ghost came over and laid the thing they had picked up in her outstretched hand. When she looked down on it, she froze.

It was a King's Idol, the item that the citizens of Hallownest had crafted to worship her reclusive father. Each of them looked different, but they all shared the general shape and depicted his most salient feature: The horns that resembled a crown.

Staring down at it, something in Hornet broke. It might have been the stress she felt since Ghost had arrived. Or the fact that Hollow recovered from years of abuse from both the gods of Hallownest. Or that she was running on an empty stomach most of the time. But once she saw that thing, all her frustration crashed down on her at once.

You!”, she hissed. “It was all your fault! You knew that the plan wouldn't work! You knew that they would suffer and you still have let it happen! The teacher, the watcher, my mother, all sacrificed for nothing! And then, in the moment you were needed the most, you vanished, you damn coward! We needed you! I needed you! I hate you. I hate you and I can't even say it to your face anymore!”

Hornet threw the king's idol on the ground with so much force that it skipped on the ground and then fell on her knees, slowly getting aware of the tears on her face and the presence of little ice cold hands patting her arm.

“I am fine.”, she said, wiping the tears away. Just a moment of weakness, nothing else. Even though she could feel the judgemental stare of Ghost, she was fine. She had to be. “Seriously, I am fine.”, she continued once more. “Let's continue hunting.”

As Hornet was putting her composure back together, she didn't notice how Ghost continued to stare at her, picking up the idol from the ground, and only starting to move again once she called out for them.

The hunt had been more or less successful. At least they had found enough prey that nobody should go terribly hungry (at least when Hornet halved her own portion again). As usual, hunting had taken the better part of the day. Hornet would have liked to go hunt at some different locations, but the Old Stag from the stag ways wasn't around lately, apparently he was taking care of some personal business. With him not being around, it was just too far to walk to the Fungal Wastes or Deepnest, at least not when she wanted to come back the same day.

Currently Hornet took in her meal in Hollow's room with Ghost present as well. She was busy thinking about if there was another route that would make sure she could hunt elsewhere but Greenpath for once, when she felt a nudge. When she looked down, she saw how Ghost offered them a half of their mosscreep, holding the prey up in their little hands, seemingly eagerly awaiting for her to take it.

“I can't take this, Ghost.”, Hornet said. “You need all the food you can get, you are still growing.”

Ghost cocked their head and for once their eternal deadpan expression was on point. Hornet knew how ridiculous her argument was. Ghost had been born before her. They hadn't grown in years. Their body had been unable to grow because they didn't had access to void. “You know what I mean.”, she defended herself. There was the possibility that Ghost would start to grow as long as they stayed in Hallownest.

Ghost offered their meal a little while longer and then gave up with a little frustrated stomp of their foot. It was then when Hornet felt another nudge... this time it was Hollow, who had simply watched the scene unfold in front of them, offering their part of their meal.

“Oh no, not you too, Hollow.”, Hornet sighed. “You need the food much more than me, you are still recovering. I won't accept anything from you.”

The both vessels shared a look and once again Hornet asked herself if they could talk to each with some kind of void telepathy, before both of them looked at the ground in defeat.

“I am fine.”, Hornet repeated herself, she knew that. “Really, I am fine...”

Hornet awoke the next morning... not because her stomach cramped and she had trouble sleeping because of it, but because someone nudged her. She cracked one eye open and murmured: “It's barely morning...” She just craved to go back to sleep, to forget about the day in front of her for a few minutes longer, but the nudging got more and more intense, until she shouted: “Fine! I am getting up! Stop bothering me!”

It was Ghost in front of her and immediately Hornet stopped being annoyed. What if something had happened? “Is something the matter with Hollow? Or is a threat approaching the village?”, she asked, already fumbling for her needle, once again forgetting that Ghost was more than capable of defending the village themselves. They just looked too much like a little, defenseless child, even though Hornet had experienced otherwise.

Gladly, Ghost shook their head, though this put Hornet right back into annoyance. “Then why have you woken me up?”, she said, falling back down in her pillows, ignoring the urge to close her eyes and looking at Ghost again, making sure to give them a judgemental stare.

Ghost did grip something under their cloak (wings? Hornet never knew what this thing around the vessels was) and after a bit of struggling, they produced a jar... a jar filled with honey. The smell actually made Hornet's mouth water. Honey was one of the few things she liked to eat that wasn't meat, mostly because she had trained in the Hive in her youth.

Though, as lucky as she felt about having more food, she couldn't help but scold Ghost. “Ghost, did you get this on your own? The Hive is dangerous, even without the infection! What if the Hive Knight would have found you?”

Ghost shook their head and then outstretched their hand, showing Hornet a shiny little charm. A charm she remembered. The charm of the Hive. “Wait, you have been there and challenged him already?” Hornet wanted to be surprised, but Ghost couldn't really surprise her anymore. When they could surprise her somehow, then it was that they were full of surprises.

“Anyway... I guess I have to thank you, though I don't approve that you sneak out at night into the Hive.”, Hornet murmured. “At least we have more food for the group now..”

Ghost rigorously shook their head and pressed the jar in her hands. “For me?”, Hornet asked and Ghost nodded.

“But... Ghost, I appreciate it, but I don't need.. the others need the food much more than...”

Another shook of their head and a stomp of their foot along with crossed arms and a slight turn around. Hornet suddenly felt very small, she had never seen them that upset.

“Alright, alright...”, she said. “Maybe I have eaten insufficient lately...”

Ghost nodded again and gave the jar of honey another press, so that she had to hold it firmly in her hands.

“Alright alright...”, Hornet finally gave in. “I will take your offer, Ghost.”

As she opened the jar, her hunger became more and more apparent and soon she dug in and had finished the whole jar in what felt like no time and finally, for once, she didn't feel overly hungry. Satisfied even.

She then saw Ghost holding up something. A little rock with a few letters written on it. Lately Cornifer had given them writing lessons, though it still was a work in progress.

“Fine?”

That was the word they had painted on the rock (where did they even have the colours from?).

“I am fine.”, Hornet said. “This time for real. I am sorry, Ghost, I shouldn't have lied to you. I just feel so... responsible for everyone. I can't show weakness in front of anyone.”

Ghost shook their head again and then got something out. Hornet recognized it as the King's Idol they had found in Greenpath. They tossed it at the ground, just as she had done and then hit it with their nail, leaving a notable crack in it.

“You as well don't have the best memories of him, right?”, Hornet said. Both of them had been left behind, though in a different kind of way. Ghost had been discarded and Hornet had been left with responsibility far too huge for her age.

Ghost nodded again and gave the King's Idol another smack, so that it landed in front of her. Hornet took it into her hands and stared at it. She did miss him, that she had to admit to herself, but she also knew that her anger and her disappointment were real and there was no reason to hide it in front of Ghost.

She squeezed the Idol until it cracked into two pieces and just watched as they fell down. “Thank you, Ghost.”, she said. “But make sure to not tell Hollow about this.”

The way Hollow idealized their father... it would break their heart seeing his image being defiled like that.

Another quick nod and then Ghost actually got another one out, their face clearly saying: “Wanna break another?”

A grin crept over Hornet's face. She would never get her mother back or escape her responsibilities, but at least she could vent out her frustrations, even though it took her sibling for her to realize.

“Oh you bet I want.” (Author's note: Little Ghost is kinda fun to write. I think they are a character mostly showing what they feel through body language and it was fun to come up with how they would act. I also like to think that they can stare very judgemental, even though their expression never changes, a stare of them can make anyone falter. Hornet's relationship to PK is... complicated. He hasn't actually been a bad father to her, but as the infection came back and depression took over, he left her alone more and more and she got angry about it... especially when he decided to just vanish. She felt utterly betrayed by it and it is a huge source of her frustration and anger. I put in some little references to the game in there, try to find them if you please.)

#hollow knight #fanfiction #hornet #little ghost #march of the whumps #request fill #hornet has issues #whump #emotional whump #ask answered #thx for the ask #littlewritesstuff #Anonymous

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dannyisdone · 3 years ago

Text

Patton's First Encounter With Little Logan (Scrap)

This one is kind of difficult to scrap bc I've been trying to make it work for weeks, and I really loved the premise when I first wrote the idea down, but everytime I've tried to write for it I've just disliked it more and a more 😔😔 It just wasn't feeling genuine, and I don't even think a rewrite could make it work. I might keep the idea and just write a one-shot with it in the future, but for now, I'm completely scrapping this.

It never really got to anything Agere related, but I'm still posting it anyways bc 1. It will make me feel better about essentially scrapping 2000+ words of work just bc the vibes are off, and 2. In case I ever want to come back and steal some ideas from it in the future lol

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“Oooh, this is going to be so fun!” Patton proclaimed, adding the finishing touches to his decked out living room. He had invited over Roman and Logan for a sleepover at his place, and he wanted everything to look perfect for his friends! It had been a long time since they had had a sleepover with all three of them, probably since the two of them had decided to make their own houses to stay in the Mindscape, rather than them all living in the default Thomas one his brain seemed to supply them. Patton had been saddened, of course, but now it meant he got to do a whole bunch of fun dad stuff, like throw barbecues, host holiday parties at his house, and, of course, sleepovers with your friends!

Plus, now that they had all revealed themselves to Thomas, their workloads had gotten much heavier. They recorded youtube videos, Roman and Thomas talked lots about ideas he wanted to try and avenues of film and theatre he wanted them to pursue, and Logan was busy usually trying to ground those ideas in something a bit more logical and manageable, and of course throwing his own ideas about career avenues Thomas ought to be persuing. And Patton was perhaps doing the most important job of all, making sure everyone was happy! And he felt like he was doing a pretty good job at that! Even if there was occasional fighting, and of course the pop ins from a certain He-who-did-not-have-a-name, he was still thrilled by all the progress he and his friends had been making!

Which is why they deserved a sleepover!

It had taken quite a bit of convincing to get Logan on board, who was mostly rebutting with ‘We’ve only been moved out for a few months, and you see us all the time for work,’, but Patton didn’t care! He wanted to spend time with his friends in a not so serious setting! (Not that work got all that serious anyways, unless scaredy-bats decided to show up, then sometimes things got serious, seriously batty!!) What eventually convinced him was that Patton promised to make thumbprint cookies with Crofters, that jam being about the only bargaining tool anyone had with Logan.

Said cookies were set out already, having been given plenty of time to cool and would be ready for consumption as soon as the others arrived. Everything was perfect. There were fairy lights around the living room, way more snacks than were necessary for three people, blankets that he’d just pulled out of the dryer so they were extra warm, an array of different movies for them to watch, and a backlog of puns to go with whatever movie they picked. The only thing that could have made the scene more perfect would have been--

“Patton! We’re here!”

His friends!!

Roman walked into the living room, since the formality of doors were a foreign concept in Patton’s home, just as he preferred it! He was closely followed by Logan, who was wearing his standard outfit unlike Roman and Patton, both who had elected to wear more casual clothes. He also carried with him a small drawstring bag. Roman had his large book bag on his back, and he was carrying two sleeping bags in his arms, one red and one blue.

“Mr. ‘Always prepared’ didn’t have a sleeping bag, can you believe it?” Roman asked in fake exasperation, fondly shaking his head as he dropped both sleeping bags onto the ground, right next to Patton’s. Logan rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t think it necessary to have, considering my old room is right up the stairs.” He explained, gesturing towards the stairs. Patton chuckled, that made logical sense, he supposed. But this was a sleepover! Half the fun was sleeping on the floor right next to your friends! Unless Logan really didn’t want to, of course. But Patton couldn’t lie, he would be mighty disappointed if Logan didn’t at least sleep in the same room as them.

“Well, sleeping isn’t part of the plan tonight anyways!” Roman exclaimed as he took his book bag off as well, setting it on the couch. Patton presumed it had all of Roman’s sleepover essentials, including his clothes, and anything else he would have felt necessary to bring. “This is a sleepover! Who sleeps at a sleepover?” He added with an eye roll, before flopping down onto the couch in his normal spot.

“It’s implied in the name.” Logan responded, before sitting down on the far end of the couch as well. Patton couldn’t help but notice how stiffly Logan seemed to hold himself. Well…Logan always looked a little stiff in Patton’s opinion, but for some reason he looked uncomfortable, even though he’d said it himself, he had lived here before! And even if he hadn’t, this was Patton’s home! Logan was always welcomed to anything he wanted here! So seeing Logan looking so uncomfortable, Patton knew he needed to do something to ease his friend's nerves. And he knew just how to get that started!

“Roman, you’ll be the first to fall asleep, you always are.” Patton teased, and earned himself an offended scoff from Roman, who immediately began his rant about how he needs beauty sleep, and that you can’t hurry perfection. Patton had heard the speech time and time again, and it never failed to humor him when it came up in a totally contradictory manner to Roman’s original point. While Roman continued his speech, getting into the part where humans needed anywhere between 6 to 10 hours of sleep, an anecdote which Logan was quick to corroborate, Patton stepped over to the coffee table, which he had moved out of the middle of the room and over to the walk in order to make room for sleeping. He picked up the tray that held all of the thumbprint cookies, before walking over to Logan.

“Cookie?” Patton asked, offering them out to Logan. The offer managed to grab Roman’s attention as well, and he very hastily wrapped up his argument that no one was disagreeing on, in favor of looking over the cookies.

“You made these?” Logan asked, and Patton smiled brightly.

“Yup!” Just for you, the jam is Crofters, of course.” Patton explained. Roman scooted over on the couch so that he was within arms reach and grabbed one of the cookies off the tray, taking a crumbly bite.

“Delicious as always, Padre!” Roman declared, mouth full. Patton couldn’t help but chuckle, though Logan didn’t seem to find Roman’s antics as amusing. He did take one of the cookies off the tray though, and munched into it.

“Do you like it?” Patton asked, eager to please his friend. Logan, polite as ever, waited until he was finished chewing and swallowing, before responding.

“Your cooking has always been very satisfactory, Patton.” Logan said, a small smile pulling at his face as he took another bite. Patton beamed at the tidbit of praise, which was always rather coveted by Patton and Roman, even if Roman was hard pressed to admit it.

“Thank you!” Patton cheered, before setting the tray down within reach of everyone. Good cooking was always a quick and easy way to get an excellent get together started, and now that Logan had even just the tiniest of smiles on his face, Patton felt more and more confident about how this sleepover was going to go! Now, all they had to do was decide what other staple of sleep overs they should do next.

“Should we play a game? Watch a movie? Gossip until we’re a giggly mess?” Patton suggested, slightly teasing, at least for the last suggestion. It wasn’t like there was all that much to gossip about, except maybe the newest greyfriendo (Though there wasn’t much to say about him, since no one really seemed to know much about him).

“I don’t giggle.” Logan quickly defended, but it wasn’t like he needed to prove that statement to anyone.. Patton was pretty sure he hadn’t seen Logan giggle since childhood, and even then it had been a rather rare occurrence, he was pretty stoic as a kiddo too. The closest Patton had ever seen to Logan giggling was when he got a bit silly while wine drunk, but Patton wasn’t a fan of drinking, so he was never really around long to see that side of Logan.

“And you guys cheat everytime we play games.” Roman said with a pout, crossing his arms. Now that he had a handful of cookies, Roman had made himself comfortable on the couch, stealing Patton’s quilt and having thrown it around himself. Patton’s house always did run on the cold side, but that’s just how he liked it!

“I do not!” Patton argued back. He didn’t cheat, he was just down right rotten at most of the games he played, so he tended to just forget the rules.

“And it’s not cheating if I am using the exact rules of the games to my advantage.” Logan added. Patton chuckled, recalling the last time they had all played Monopoly together. It had been so much fun in Patton’s opinion, but it was now explicitly banned from being played by them.

“Well, I don’t want to play anyways, so movie it is!” Roman said, and Patton couldn’t be more inclined to agree. A movie sounded great! It would be a good way to get them all relaxed and into the sleepover spirit!

“Let me get it set up, anyone have any movie preferences?” Patton asked, giving Logan a pointed look. Anytime they did movies together, Roman tended to dominate the decisions. Patton didn’t mind for his own sake too much, since he always liked just about anything they watched. But if Logan had a suggestion, even though he normally didn’t, then Patton wanted to prioritize that!

“Ooooh! Patton! We should watch WALL-E!” Roman suggested, not having paid attention to the fact that Patton had clearly been gearing the question towards Logan. Patton chuckled, then looked back at Logan, who merely shrugged.

“A perfectly fine suggestion.” Logan said, and Patton was inclined to believe him. Plus, it was kind of like a space movie! And Patton was pretty sure Logan liked space! He definitely liked Star Trek, so space movies seemed like a safe bet to him!

“WALL-E it is!” Patton said, trying to do his best impression of WALL-E itself. Roman laughed and proceeded to try his hand at his own impressions from the movie while Patton searched through the cabinet to find the dvd. He knew he could just summon it into his hands, or directly onto the tv, but he always liked to enjoy the more mundane human way of doing things.

“Got it!” Patton proclaimed when he found the dvd. As he pushed the movie into the dvd player, the lights in the room suddenly dimmed, casting it into a cool darkness.

“Can’t have a movie marathon in the light.” Roman said when Patton turned around to question it. It wasn’t late enough for the sun to have gone down, but Patton’s curtains did a fine job at blocking out the light.

“After the movie, I’ll make us a pizza. Unless you guys just want to snack?” Patton asked, hurrying over to the couch and plopping down right next to Roman. It still bothered him a bit how separated Logan was from them, but he didn’t want to crowd him. If Logan was content with being on the far end of the couch, then Patton would just have to accept that.

“Sounds grand!” Roman said, scooting closer to Patton and wrapping him up in his blanket. Patton giggled and accepted the cuddle.

The beginning of the movie began to play, and the room felt quiet save for the tv. Roman’s attention was instantly captivated by the movie. It was usually a 50/50 chance on whether or not Roman was going to be quiet during a movie, or if he was going to talk through it, pointing out flaws in the plot or inaccuracies in the costume designs. Patton didn’t mind the commentary, but he would just have to wait and see which way he ended up falling.

Patton tried to get invested in the beginning.The first half of WALL-E was truly a masterpiece, and it was merely a coincidence that Roman had suggested one of Patton’s all time favorite Pixar films, but Patton was thoroughly distracted by Logan. Every few seconds he would peer over at his friend, and see just how lonely he looked. In fairness, Logan didn’t look bothered by his unintentional exclusion. Patton knew he wasn’t a big cuddler, and he liked his space. But Patton couldn’t brush aside his own feelings. He knew if it was him, he’d feel so lonely. And it was that sympathy that had him suddenly summoning one of his stuff animals from his room, a big, soft Walrus plush that Patton liked, but usually ended up sitting in the closest in favor of all his other stuffed animals.

When it appeared in his hand, Roman must have caught the action out of the corner of his eyes, because he was suddenly staring at Patton in confusion. Patton ignored him though, scooting a little bit out of the warm blanket in order to be closer to Logan.

“Psssst, Logan!” Patton whispered loudly, as if he was trying to avoid attention rather than the reality, which was that everyone was looking at him. Logan had grabbed another cookie, and looked almost embarrassed at having been caught eating another one, which Patton thought was silly. He loved that Logan loved his treats! Logan didn’t respond verbally, but was staring at Patton expectantly, encouraging him to keep going.

“Here.” Patton continued to whisper, handing the walrus plush over to Logan. Logan stared at it in confusion.

“You need a cuddle buddy too.” Patton said with a smile. Logan rolled his eyes, and Patton could hear Roman snickering behind him.

“Patton, while I appreciate that you enjoy hugging stuffed animals, it isn’t something I engage in.” Logan pointed out. Patton nodded in understanding, but shook the toy anyways.

“Humor me? Please? It would make me feel a lot better, knowing you had something to snuggle.” He gave Logan the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster, though those only had about a 50 percent chance of working on him. Logan stared for a few more seconds, before sighing and holding out his hand for the toy. Patton had to suppress his happy squeal as he handed him the plushie.

“Enjoy!” Patton cheered as Logan sat the toy on his lap, though he made no effort to hug it or anything, which Patton found a bit disappointing, but baby steps were made! He scooted back over to Roman, who was smirking.

“What was that about?” He whispered, bending down so only Patton could hear him. He merely shrugged though as he wrapped the blanket back around him and laid his head against Roman’s shoulder.

“I thought he looked lonely,” Patton admitted, his own face heating up a bit. Roman snorted quietly, before shaking his head.

“You’re absolutely the kindest and sweetest dork this side of the Mindscape.” Roman teased, and Patton smiled brightly. Roman turned his attention back to the tv, and Patton followed suit, though would occasionally spare glances over at Logan, just to see what he might do with his new friend.

#patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides agere #dannyiswriting

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