#used pen so i wouldn't agonize over mistakes
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cheesycheesyches · 3 months ago
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guess who started learning how to draw their favorite babygirl
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myragewillendworlds · 1 month ago
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I’m a 18 year old transexual male, have known about it since I was about 10 or 11, and have been struggling with a bad dysphoric episode this past month, so forgive the irrationality and how stupid this may sounds.
Lately I have been frequenting some ‘truscum’ forums online and, though I agree with most of their premises (main point being ‘you need sex dysphoria to be trans), I’ve found some ideas that have been making me feel ‘less of a man’. Though I’m not generally feminine in posture and habit, I’m highly introverted [bordering on shyness] and have some ‘girly’ habits and likes, such as still liking stuffed animals even at my age [please, don’t take it as infantilizing myself] and enjoying making colorful notes, with nice pens and nice titles as well. My friend group is mixed gender-wise, but the majority is made cis female. For some of these ‘truscum’ individuals, this makes me merely GNC, and though I am sure my dysphoria is real and I am caving the path towards my medical transition, it does make me feel weirdly insecure and intensifies, somehow, the dysphoria.
I’ve seen you are somewhat of an specialist when it comes to topics like this, therefore I wanted to have your insight, if possible.
Thank you for reading this and forgive me for any mistakes regarding the English language, it isn’t my mother tongue.
It took perhaps mere months before the word "truscum" began being used by underage morons who had neither the maturity nor the general desired level of intelligence to be speaking for an entire community in trying to convince outsiders of its need to be taken seriously. And it was a meme word before then too, one that I always warned against using for the very reasons it almost immediately became a problem. Point being: it means nothing to me that someone calls themselves "truscum", other than that it makes them sound like an immature asshole. I have never used that label.
That being said–
I don't think behavior alone makes someone transsexual or not transsexual. Sex dysphoria does.
The only relevant question is: do you experience sex dysphoria because of the sex of your body? And because people have severely watered that definition down over the years as well, here are some follow-up questions; which, no, aren't specifically covered in this wording in the DSM or ICD, but any diagnostician worth their salt would ask you:
Is the level of distress you experience life-debilitating?
Have you experienced this at least since the onset of puberty?
Looking back at your childhood, can you (with hindsight) recognize that your male gender identity was in fact present then as well? For example: did you feel a familiarity/kinship towards male family members, did you prefer playing with boys, did you prefer boy clothing/toys/items, did it feel natural to identify yourself with male characters, did you feel you didn't belong in groups with girls/women, etc.
Does a future in a female body seem impossible, surreal and/or utterly agonizing and miserable to you?
Do you experience sex dysphoria over all your natal sex characteristics; meaning, including the actual sex organs? There is no such thing as a transsexual male that lacks dysphoria over having female sex organs. Then you're just not male, therefore not transsexual.
Finally: are there no alternative explanations that could believably explain your dysphoric feelings, such as relevant trauma or mental illness? Do you wish to transition for the sole sake of changing your sex, and not for any ulterior goals or beliefs possibly linked to trauma or mental illness?
You should be able to answer 'yes' to these questions if you are transsexual.
The things you're mentioning aren't typical in guys your age, no, but those are taught things, not biologically innate things. Chances are, if you were raised as a boy, you likely wouldn't have done or enjoyed these (as much) as they would probably not have been encouraged, either by your parents or your peers. On the other hand, if you had been born male and still had these interests, you probably would've ran into the exact same sentiments from your peers that this makes you less of a guy. You'll find that many cisgender men have similar experiences with having their masculinity questioned.
Most transsexual people, I would say, do 'outgrow' most of these social behaviors as they fully embrace and live as their desired sex (and HRT may play a role in these changes as well). Perhaps you will too, when/if you start HRT and grow up into a man. Or perhaps you'll be a man who likes coloring pencils. It's hardly the deciding factor. Not like men have to trade in their cocks the moment they're ever found guilty of pulling out a glittery marker.
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