#us: for the vague 'we don't feel like we have enough support' problem? hm.

[queenerdloser]

yesterday we had like. yet another meeting where my supreme boss (the head of the admins) once again failed to tell us about negative feedback from the providers we work for in a useful manner and really just. had nothing helpful to say about mitigating mistakes. cut off the other supervisor who was trying to talk, acted like we were being defensive when we were asking questions about the feedback we were getting, and threatened to bring us back to five days a week in person even tho we're all very aware that it won't help or solve the problem. meeting so bad it makes you go look at job boards, that's what it was like!!!!

[clonerightsagenda]

hey do you have any life advice? I've always looked up to you and I respect your opinion and didn't know if you had any strategies living in the usa with limited money and healthcare or just with getting a decent job that you don't hate. or honestly any advice at all about anything. the world is really stressful. and reading your blog always gives me hope for the future because you're just doing your best and existing i guess? sorry if that's weird

Hm. Well, first of all, I'm flattered. As you say, I'm doing my best and existing. I don't know whether that makes me a great source of wisdom, but I'll do my best.

I have been privileged enough to always have access to health care, either from my parents or my own job, so I don't have a lot of practical tips on that front.  I hope our country gets it together soon and catches up with everyone who's already set up socialized medicine. The good news amidst all of our nightmare politics is that even though it feels like everyone's ignoring the obvious solutions, which they often are, there's stuff on the table being considered that would never have been mentioned not long ago (like free college, for example) so we have to stay hopeful. The one thing I'd say about this is if you're ever in a bad situation where you have to choose where to put your money, I would tend to make sure you get dental care, because teeth problems can haunt you for the rest of your life. My local dentist actually just set up a program that's kind of like dental insurance for people without it, so you can look for things like that from the health providers in your community.

As for limited money... again, I've been pretty lucky in this regard. I can support myself ok on my income, so I don’t have the same perspective as someone who’s really had to worry. Checking for stores that sell at a discount is always a good idea - places like Dollar General, Cash Saver, Aldis, etc. There are some things I prefer to buy name brand for, but a lot of the time store brand is fine. Cooking can save a lot of money, but it is a skill that has to be developed, and I acknowledge not everyone has the time or access to good equipment and ingredients. If your money is tight, developing a budget is probably a good idea to keep track of everything. And if you have a bulk store like Costco in your area - it might be worth finding a buddy to pool your money and split big purchases, because you will save by doing so. I also know more and more areas are developing mutual aid networks, and I know my city has a Food Not Bombs group and a free market. You may have to do some digging to see if any of those things are local to you, but they can help.

Jobs... check your local library if you have one; they often have databases for searching job openings and may have programs to review your resume and cover letter. If you're still in school, use your career center. In this country there's a lot of emphasis on your dream job, because capitalism wants us to identify with our roles as workers much. It's certainly nicer to go to jobs that you like, but it's also perfectly OK if you go to a job that's just something you do in the day, and then you go home and do things you want to do. This may vary from person to person, but I actually found that I have more free time working fulltime than I did when I was in college, which was a nice surprise. I felt more free to read and write and enjoy myself because my work time and me time were more compartmentalized. Our generation is also far less likely to stay in one job for our entire lives, so it's totally ok to take a job that you don't *love* for a while, just to get your bearings, and then move on. You don't need to feel trapped, or feel like because you "settled" once you'll never get where you want to go. So much is changing, I don't know that many of us know what our jobs might look like in a few decades. As much as I always hated people talking about networking, it is true that knowing people helps, even if it’s just hearing about a job opening you might have missed otherwise. Keep an ear to the ground, let people know you’re looking... I had a well-meaning grandparent send me a job opening in Hawaii once.

For some other advice about this stressful world... 

I think it helps to make things occasionally. Now, I know a lot of people on here are artists and writers, which is good, but that kind of creation can be really frustrating and exhausting sometimes. It's nice to be able to make something a little less stressful and more substantial. For example, I bake. Some people knit. Some people paint, but not to polish their craft, just for fun. In a world where so much feels out of our control, it's nice to have something tangible you brought into being.

It also helps to do at least one good thing. You can burn yourself out trying to change the world, and in America we're raised on a lot of individualist stories where a single person is a hero and brings down a terrible regime.  If you have the energy to throw yourself into being an organizer for a new group or running for local office, great! But if you don't, and you're feeling really helpless, even writing one e-mail to your senator or checking in on a neighbor or tossing $5 to someone’s gofundme can make you feel a little less trapped. I'm doing phone banking this weekend. I hate it, and I will be miserable the whole time, but I'll feel better afterward. Do what you can, and then give yourself permission to let go and not stress for a while. 

I say this as an introvert, but some kind of community is good too. I don't have that many people in person, although I was trying to work on that before the pandemic started by going to more events hosted by my local library. This is actually a pretty good time to explore - a lot of groups that would normally meet in person are meeting online, so it's much easier to drop in and see if it's right for you. I've attended some meetings I never would've gone to when they were in person all the way downtown in the evenings. And there's always having a few people online that you check in regularly with - it's good to have someone, whatever form that takes. Even if it’s a Discord chat where you make jokes about podcasts. 

I feel like that was all..... very vague, and I hope any of it was helpful? If you have any more questions I can try to be more specific, within the limits of my experience. I have been very fortunate in a lot of ways throughout my life, which may be preventing me from being super helpful, but I’ll try!