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clevercatchphrase · 6 years

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You Monster Chpt 33

(Full story found on my ao3 under the same username. I’m no longer linking chapters because tumblr won’t show them in the search results otherwise!)

Mettaton’s parts are heavier than they look. You aren’t surprised. After all, they did pack a pretty hefty punch every time he hit you, but trying to carry all four of his limbs is nearly impossible. Beside you, Alphys is having similar troubles, trying to get his body off the ground. All the while, the robot still hasn’t decided to enter sleep mode, instead insisting he provide words of encouragement.

“You’re doing excellent, darling! Remember, lift with your knees, not your back! Atta girl!”

“This is taking forever,” Alphys groans wiping her brow. “I’m gonna call for back up.”

Pulling out her phone, Alphys taps away on the keys as she writes out a text message. A moment later and her phone chimes with a response.

“Okay, Undyne, Sans and Papyrus are on their way to help move him. They’ll meet us in the MTT resort, so we just gotta make it that far.”

You push onward, carrying Mettaton’s arms draped over your shoulders and one leg under each of your arms. The going is slow, and the limbs drag on the ground and constantly trip you up as you get into the elevator and down the corridor back towards Alphys’ lab.

You’re greeted with screams of excitement when you open the door to the hotel lobby. The room is packed with monsters holding posters and t-shirts with your and Mettaton’s images plastered to them. News reporters with cameras and mics are asking for interviews and pictures.

Overwhelmed, you and Alphys clump together as the paparazzi surround you. Nervously, you smile and wave as cameras flash.

“Ah! There are the photographers!” Mettaton says, and begins cycling between faces of teasing winks and flirty kissing lips as his picture is taken. “I was wondering when they’d show up! Smile for the camera, darling! You’re a super star now!”

People crowd closer and ask for autographs while the reporters beg for exclusive interviews. You’re just about to get overwhelmed when I voice you didn’t think you’d ever find yourself missing shouts over the crowds.

“NYAGH! OUTTA THE WAY, PUNKS! VIP ROYAL GUARD COMING THROUGH!”

“And future royal guard also coming through!” A more nasally voice echoes.

“And also a sentry, if you want my two sents,” a third voice drawls at the end.

Reluctantly, the masses part as Undyne muscles a pathway through to them with Papyrus and Sans in tow.

“Guys! You made it!” Alphys beams.

“You called for backup?” the warrior asks. While she’s no longer in her iron uniform, Undyne is no less intimidating when she flashes that toothy grin at the both of you.

“Y-yeah!” Alphys blushes. “W-we need to get back to my lab pronto before Mettaton’s batteries completely drain. C-can you help?”

“Can I?” Undyne tucks Mettaton’s body under one arm and Alphys under the other. “Papyrus! Grab the kid and let’s blow this popsicle stand!”

You pass Papyrus Mettaton’s legs, which were definitely the heavier pair of limbs, but no less cumbersome than his noodle arms which still threatened to tangle up your legs. Beside you Sans watches with passive amusement.

“Do you want to give us a hand, Sans?” suggests Papyrus with irritation when he catches his brother just standing on the sidelines.

“Good job, bro” Sans claps lazily. “I’m really proud of you for giving a leg up.”

“Ugh! Never mind!” Papyrus groans.

“We’re ready, Undyne!” you announce. “Lead the way!”

“In that case, hang on tight, ‘cause we’re outta here! NYAGH!” Undyne bursts forth, leaving it up to the monsters to decide if they want to get out of the way or not as she charges through the lobby. The royal guard explodes out the front door, leaving you and Papyrus to do your best to keep up. The public scream in delight at your flashy exit and surge after you like a tidal wave.

“SANS!” Papyrus shouts, glancing back. “This is no time for antics! Keep up, brother!”

“It’s too late for me, bro. I’m a goner.” Sans says nonchalantly as he surfs the crowd, being passed around by monsters like a beach ball. “Save yourself. I’ll meet up with you again back at the lab.”

With Undyne waiting for no one, you’re forced to abandon Sans to the whims of the crowd and dash out of the hotel. The streets of Hotland are only a little less crowded as you make a break to the elevators. Along the way, monsters begin to point and whisper and cheer as your party scampers past and a few very overzealous fans begin to give chase.

“Crud, how are we gonna lose them?” Undyne asks when she sees the pursuers.

“I know! Head to the west elevator!” you say. “Go through the spider parlor!”

A wicked gleam flashes in Undyne’s eye as she follows your train of thought. She takes a sharp right, away from the hotel and into the narrow tunnel.

“Muffet! Are you here?” you call out when you reach the main foyer of the spider parlor.

“Back again so soon, dearie?” Muffet says as she crawls down the walls. “I just saw your performance on TV. Beautiful dance, mon ami! I’ll have to show a few of those moves to my spiders!”

“Yeah, the dance off was… certainly something!” you tell her. “But now we really need to get Mettaton back to the lab, and we’re being chased by rabid fans! Do you think you can slow them down for us and sell them a few of your backed goods?”

Muffet’s eyes crinkle with mischief. “Oooh, mon ami, that sounds delightful! Okay, girls!” she claps her three pairs of hands. “We’ve got a lot of customers headed our way! Let’s make this place spic and span so they never want to leave! Break out your oven mits!”

“Thanks, Muffet!” you shout as you jog on your way. Muffet merrily giggles and waves you farewell.

You reach the west elevator with no trouble and make it to the ground floor without any hiccups. The doors part and you’re greeted with clear streets, and at last you relax.

The sight of Sans reading a newspaper and leaning against the wall of Alphys’ lab meets you when you approach the building.

“Sans?” you speak up, looking back in confusion. “What- How did you get here before us?”

Sans shrugs. “Eh, I took a short cut. But that’s not important. Check this out, Kiddo. You’re in the newspaper.”

Sans turns the sheet over to show you the front page. Right smack dab in the center is a picture of you and Mettaton dancing together on stage. The editor captured a brilliant shot just when you and Mettaton both struck a pose while fireworks were exploding behind you.

“Wow, they work fast.”

“Eh, there’s never really much to report on down here, so the journalists ain’t exactly busy.”

From under Undyne’s arm, Mettaton squeals with joy.

“Oh darling! We made the front page! We’re headlining! This is the highest point of my career to date!”

“Hey, Sans! No fair!” Papyrus stomps. “I want a newspaper with a picture of my cool friend and favorite robot on the front to commemorate this moment too!”

“No problem, bro. Take mine,” Sans says, handing the newsprint to his brother.

Now it’s Papayrus’ turn to squeal like a school girl. He unceremoniously drops Mettaton’s legs and swipes the newspaper from his brother’s hand. “This is the greatest day of my life! My cool best friend is friends with a famous super star, which means I’m friends with a famous superstar by vicarious extension!”

He turns to you, hope in his eye sockets.

“Hey, pal? Mettaton? Do you think you could both autograph this for me?”

“Of course, darling! Bring it here!”

“Uh, sure. Anyone got a pen?”

Borrowing a pen from Alphys, you put your signature above your head, and then pass it to Mettaton, before remembering his current state.

“Er, do you need help holding the pen?”

“No need! Bring the newspaper close to my beautiful face.”

You do as instructed. Mettaton sucks his lips in, then puckers them out and smooches the space next to his image.

“Mwah! There we are!” He says craning his head back, and you pull the paper away to find a silvery blue lipstick mark.

Papyrus shrieks with joy when you hand him back the newspaper.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Papyrus says squeezing you in a hug so tight that your lungs threaten to collapse, before letting you pass out. He twirls around and raises the newspaper high above his head to admire it.

“Hang on to that autograph, darling, because it’s the only one of its kind. I’ll be worth a fortune one day!” Mettaton winks.

“As if I’d ever sell this!” Papyrus scoffs. “This picture here commemorates the exact moment when my super cool best friend and super cool robot idol made their break out performance and went from rivals to allies! This is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me! I’ll cherish it for as long as I live!”

You realize, too late, to warn Papyrus to knock on wood for such overconfidence, but either the universe like a cruel joke,

“Arf! Arf!”

Or fate does not like to be tempted,

“Arf! Arf!”

Or maybe a certain little someone had an ear for hubris and just loved to wreak chaos wherever he went.

“ARF ARF ARF!”

Three quick barks are all the warning he gives as he darts through your legs. From out of nowhere, the small white dog leaps from the crowd and snatches the newspaper from Papyrus’ raised hands.

At first no one says anything- too dumbfounded by the sheer fact this tiny toy mutt cleared a vertical leap ten times his height.

The annoying dog does a graceful half turn in the air and lands with masterful precision, back into his signature play bow, facing the flabbergasted group.

There’s a tense moment as he stares you down with that devilish canine grin of his. And maybe the wind had blown the fur on his face the wrong way for a second, or maybe a cinder got in his eye, or maybe, just maybe the dog knowingly-

and intentionally-

winked at you.

“GET! HIM!” Papyrus explodes and tears after the pooch.

Apparently not understanding Papyrus’ rage, the dog wags his tail harder as the screaming skeleton runs up to him to play. Bursting with overstimulation, he races off, running circles around the other monsters, faking lefts and rights to trip Papyrus up and even running back through the skeleton’s legs. Yelling in borderline mania, Papyrus closes in on the dog, coils his legs beneath him, makes a desperate lunge with outstreched hands- and falls just short of grabbing the pooch, spilling to the ground.

The dog stops, play-growling and panting simultaneously so that it sounded suspiciously like huffing laughter, before skipping off in the direction of Waterfall.

“Noooo!” Papyrus wails, face down in the dirt. “I can’t! He’s won! This is the last straw!”

“Never fret, darling!” Mettaton says. “It’s not the end of the world!”

“Yeah, Papyarus,” You console him. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“No you don’t understand!” Papyrus pounds on the earth, throwing a tantrum on the floor. “That dog is always stealing MY things! MY action figures! MY cellphone! MY special attacks! NEVER anyone else’s! He intentionally went after MY newspaper! There are dozens being circulated right now, but he had to have that one because it was MINE! And knowing him, he’s probably running off to line is crate with it!”

“Darling! Don’t worry!” Mettaton assures. “We can get you another newspaper and I can autograph it again!”

Papyrus is silent for a long minute as he laments to the soil. “Fine,” he sighs at last when he regains his composure. “Though it won’t be as great as the original. This one just won’t have the same sentimental value, but I guess it would still suffice as a memento...”

Picking up Mettaton’s limbs once again, your group finally makes it inside Alphys’ lab where she guides you and the others to her upper balcony to deposit his pieces.

“Hup! There you go!” Undyne huffs as she slips Mettaton back into his docking station.

“Oh yes!” the robot sighs once plugged in. “That feels miles better already. Thank you, darlings.”

“Th-thanks for your help, Undyne,” Alphys stutters. You place Mettaton’s arms on the table while Papyrus drops off the legs. Is it your imagination, or is there a rosy hue on Alphys’ face? It could just be due to exertion from lifting Mettaton’s heavy parts, but the dreamy adoration shining in the royals scientist’s eyes as she watches Undyne stretch makes you think otherwise.

“Heh! Anything for you Alphys!” Undyne beams, her smile wider than you’ve ever seen. You blink, suddenly remembering the last conversation you had with the royal guard and Kid before you parted ways, and the teasing you heard from Bratty and Catty. Silently, you study the two out of the corner of your eye, noting the way they shyly brush hands and awkwardly fidget, and a realization hits you like a ton of bricks.

“You like her don’t you?” you ask the scientist when Undyne moves a ways off.

Alphys jumps. "W-what?! Wh-who told you!?”

“No one. I figured it out for myself just now. And, well, I guess it was pretty obvious when you said Undyne’s name to Bratty and Catty, too, but I didn’t make the connection then.”

“W-w-well d-d-don’t go telling anyone! Especially Undyne! Just the thought of her laughing at me makes me nauseated.”

“Laugh at you? Why do you think she’d do that?”

“Look at me!” Alphys throws her hands in the air. “I’m already a huge science nerd! She’d never want to be with a geek like me! All my statistics say so!”

“Says who?”

“Says ever media trope and dating simulator ever! When has the jock EVER hooked up with the nerd? It’s statistically impossible! Just… just keep it to yourself, will you? Please?”

Reluctantly you nod, and Alphys seems satisfied. You keep your eyes trained on her as she moves closer to Mettaton to back up his coding, then you uncross your fingers from behind your back.

You tiptoe around Alphys and Undyne and head back down stairs where Papyrus and Sans chat.

“Papyrus, I have a problem and I need your help,” you tell him.

“Fear not, friend! For I, the Great Papyrus, shall find a solution! Now tell me of this trouble!”

“It’s Alphys and Undyne. I think they’re friend zoning each other.”

“I… I am afraid I don’t follow,” Papyrus admits. “Alphys and Undyne have always been great friends! Why is being in the friend zone an issue?”

“Because they both want to be in the date zone but neither will tell the other, and they don’t know how the other feels about them.”

Papyrus gasps as if horror struck. “I see! Yes, this is a very serious problem indeed!”

“I need your help to get one to admit to the other how they feel. Then they’d both be happy.”

“Noble plan!” Papyrus says, giving you a fist bump. “And I have the perfect idea to get them together! Let me run home and get a plate of my spaghetti and meatballs. Sans, can you play the accordion?”

“No, but I can play the trombone.”

“Close enough!”

“Um, how is any of that supposed to get Undyne and Alphys to confess their feelings for each other?” you ask.

“Don’t worry! I saw this in a movie with dogs once! The lovely couple share spaghetti and end up kissing! Viola! Instant relationship!”

“Um, I was more or less thing something along the lines of forging a note from one of them to give to the other, and I was wondering if you could help me write it, since neither of them seems brave enough to do it themselves.”

“Also a brilliant idea!” Papyrus claps, and begins searching Alphys’ desk for blank paper. “We may have the best luck if we impersonate Alphys. Undyne’s writing style is a bit too flowery to imitate, with all her pink poetry and what not.”

“Purple prose,” Sans corrects.

“That too!” Papyrus smiles, placing a wad of paper and pencils between the three of you. “Okay! How do we flatter a fish?”

“Run over it a second time,” Sans quips.

“SANS!” Papyrus interjects while you barely contain your giggles. “…That was, admittedly, a really good joke, but slightly inappropriate for our current situation! But I like your enthusiasm! Keep it up, brother! We will woo Undyne yet!”

Grabbing a pen and paper, you begin jotting down as many cheesy pickup lines and science puns as you can think of.

It’s barely twenty minutes later when Undyne decides to take her leave, much to your dismay. You and Papyrus have only written one draft of your love note, but it will have to do.

“Well, I guess I’d better be going, then.” Undyne says as she moves towards the exit. “See you around sometime, Alphys?”

“Uh, s-sure Undyne!” Alphys fidgets, like she’s dying to say something else, but can’t find the words. “O-our usual anime night?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Undyne says, but you can tell it’s forced, like she want to say more as well, but can’t find the nerve. “See ya on your rounds tomorrow, Papyrus. Sans.” She nods at them. “And I guess… good luck with Asgore, kid.”

Undyne leaves through the front door and Alphys sighs. “W-well, I guess I’d better get started on reattaching Mettaton’s legs…” with a defeated exhale, she heads back upstairs.

Once you’re alone with the skeletons, you give them a nod. They nod in return and pass you the note. You flash thumbs up and run out the front door to catch up with Undyne.

“Undyne! Wait!” You shout as she makes her way to the ferry, waving the note above your head. “Alphys forgot to give you this before you left! She said it was very important and that you had to read it right away!”

You hand Undyne the letter and she opens it without hesitation. Her eye scans the page, creased with seriousness before her brow raises in surprise. She blinks a couple times and rereads it again, slower this time as she absorbs the words.

“Wow… I can’t believe this…” She says looking at you. Your spirits rise with hope. “I can’t believe… you’d thought I’d actually fall for this crap!”

And just like that, you’re hopes are crushed. Panicked, you try to back away, but Undyne presses closer to you, jabbing you in the chest with one finger. “What’s the big deal, punk?! Everyone knows Alphys’ handwriting is worse than chicken scratch! She’d never write this legibly, and not to mention in PAPYRUS FONT! Why under the earth are you trying to impersonate her and send me fake love letters?”

“Because she won’t do it herself!” you huff. “She’s crushing just as hard on you as you are on her, but she doesn’t have the nerve to tell you!”

"Wait, who told you I have a crush on her!?” Undyne demands, recoiling in horror.

“Oh, come on, it’s clearly obvious to any monsters with eyes that you two like each other,” you snort, crossing your arms in indignation.

“Wait…so what you’re saying is that Alphys… feels the same way about me?”

“Yeah, but she thinks if she tells you, you’ll turn her down or worse, that you’ll laugh at her. She already thinks you just put up with her weird interests to be a good friend.”

“That’s ludicrous! I’d NEVER laugh at her for what she’s passionate about! It’s what I love about her the most!” Undyne grips your shoulder as if ready to shake some sense into you.

“Then why don’t you tell HER that?” you retort.

The pupil in Undyne’s eye dilates, as if seeing clearly for the first time.

“You’re… you’re right! I DO have to tell her! And now that I know she shares the same feelings as I do, I don’t have to worry about her turning ME down!”

Without warning, Undyne grabs you by the arms and lifts you off the ground.

“C’mon I gotta tell her I know and I feel the same way! I gotta tell her everything!”

Undyne tucks you under one arm like a football and takes off at mach speed. If feels like you only blink once before you’re back at the lab, where Undyne drops you to pry open the doors when they don’t open fast enough.

“ALPHYS!” Undyne shouts, standing proudly in the door way, dramatically back lit from Hotland’s glow. “I have something very important to tell you! A confession, if you will!”

“U-Undyne??” Alphys jumps from her computer chair. “Y-y-you’re back! I-I-I wasn’t expecting you to come back so soon! I-Is something wrong?”

“Yes! Alphys, I am afraid I’m sick.”

“You are? Well, quick, come sit over here and I can give you a diagnostic-“

“-SICK OF KEEPING MY FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU A SECRET!”

Alphys pales and you don’t blame her. You thought Undyne was going to be gentler about this. You didn’t expect Undyne’s confession to be so… abrasive. Undyne sounded more like she was about to command you to do a hundred pushups instead of confess her crush. She storms over and lifts Alphys up until they’re eye level.

“Alphys! Ever since the day I met you in the dump, I saw the dedication in your eyes! The passion you had for the work you did, and the things that inspired you! That fervor! That zeal! Your ability to accomplish anything you put your mind to! It’s infectious!”

“U-Undyne, I never knew you felt that way about me!”

“Alphys, it’s your dedication to your goals that inspires me! It’s what I love most about you!”

“Y-you do?”

“Yes! And I would be greatly honored if you gave me the privilege to be that partner to help you achieve those goals!”

“I-I-I… y-yes! Yes, Undyne!” Alphys cries out in delight, wiping away tears of joy. “I-I would love nothing more!”

“My, this certainly seems cause for celebration!” Mettaton says from the upper level, having overheard the conversation below. “This day has been just full of dramatic revelations, hasn’t it? All in favor of a little festivity?”

“I would, but I really should be going now,” you say. Your work here is done, and you’ve still got a king to meet.

“Darling, you can’t leave just yet!” Mettaton insists. “You must stick around for the after party where we’ll do Q and As and talk to the press, strike up some brand deals, and then following that is the after-after party where we’ll shoot the behind the scenes 'Making Of' special, and then there’s the after-after-after party where you can only get in if you know someone who knows someone-”

“And d-don’t forget,” Alphys says from within Undyne’s embrace. “There are still throngs of people out there in the streets. I-It’d be impossible to get back to the MTT resort without being mobbed by your new fans looking for an autograph… H-how about you wait it out here for a while?”

“Yeah, punk!” Undyne adds. “Alphys and I can finally show you what anime is!”

“Oh! And we can finally have that sleep over! For real this time!” says Papyrus.

“Just… one more night, Kid?” Sans asks, clasping a boney hand on your shoulder. “What do you say?”

With four faces looking at you expectantly, it physically hurts to think about disappointing them.

“Alright,” you fold, smiling in good nature. “I guess one more night won’t hurt.”

The impromptu party is thrown together with remarkable speed. Papyrus and Sans are quick to arrange a table full of snacks while Alphys and Undyne queue up at least five movies to watch on her big screen monitor. The first movie on the list is one about dinosaurs trying to find a new home, then it’s followed by a movie about the trials of a baby deer, and after that is a movie about lions in Africa, and after that is another movie about dinosaurs trying to find a new home, except this time the dinosaurs are CGI, and to wrap things up is, finally, an anime about a wolf and a goat. It was a great pain Alphys had to go through not to find anime with humans in it, but she succeeded in the end.

It takes a while for the party to settle, for the thrill to die down and the atmosphere to shift from alert, high energy to a relaxed air where one could just enjoy another’s company. The human hangs around the sidelines around the time the first movie ends, waiting for when either of the two newly announced daters needed a break to catch Alphys alone, and finally manages it when she gets up to refill her popcorn.

“Hey Alphys?” The human says carefully, not wanting to draw too much attention to themselves while Undyne laughed at some anecdote Papyrus retold.

“W-what’s up?” The scientist asks.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” they fiddle with the sleeves of their sweater, clearly nervous. “I’ve been meaning to say this earlier, but I never found the chance with Mettaton constantly getting in the way and all, but… thank you.”

“Th… thank you?” Alphys stammers, completely taken off guard. “For what?”

“For everything,” the human says. “For helping me solve the puzzles, to helping me escape Mettaton, and everything in between.”

“What, that?” Alphys smiles weakly. “Th-that was nothing. I didn’t do anything important. You did all the hard work.”

“But you did!” The human says firmly. “Maybe you don’t believe what you did was that significant, but for the first time since I left Snowdin, I feel like you’re the only one who actually tried to HELP me get home. Everyone else just tried to get in my way to slow me down, but I feel like you made an honest effort to get me through Hotland. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

They smile at her, and Alphys forces a smile back, but she can’t hold it.

They’re… thanking her? But… she HAD tried to slow them down. Honest? But she had lied worst out of any of them.

“S-sure thing,” she says quietly.

“And when I see the king tomorrow it will be all thanks to you.” And the next thing she knows, they’re hugging her, tight and safe and trusting, and she can’t take it. Oh, no. Alphys didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to get the girl of her dreams, she didn’t deserve to be the hero, she didn’t deserve their praise. Not when she's deceived them. Not when she's kept secrets from them- from everyone- worse than anyone could imagine! And when they smile at her, genuine and true, it’s the last straw. The last drop of guilt that makes the dam crack and break, and her outward reputation built on a foundation of lies starts to crumble.

“N… no…” Alphys says grimly, pushing them away. “You shouldn’t.”

“Oh, sorry,” the human apologizes, thinking they’ve invaded her personal space. “I didn’t mean to-“

“No, not that.” Alphys says, gripping her upper arms. “You… you shouldn’t be thanking me. I’m… I’m no better than anyone else you’ve met. In fact, I’m probably the worst of them all.”

“What?” the human laughs nervously, probably wondering if this is some elaborate self-deprecating joke. “Of course you are!”

“No, you don’t understand!” Alphys sniffs, raising her voice, and other heads turn her way. “I’m probably the least honest monster you’ve met so far! I-I’ve been lying to you from the very beginning!”

“Alphys…” Sans says in a cautious tone.

“Lying about what?” The human asks, worried.

“About everything! I-I-I was working with Mettaton the whole time!” The scientist sobs. “Y-y-you were never in any real danger up until the hotel. All those traps he caught us in were set up. I knew how to get out of them from the very beginning.”

“What… what do you mean?” The human takes one step forward towards her, and she takes three steps back, determined to keep distance between them. Her friends nervously get to their feet, worry clearly on their face, but unsure about moving forward if it would only push her away.

“Alphys?” Undyne says cautiously from the other side of the couch.

“A-a-and I’ve lied about helping you! I was trying to slow you down just as much as everyone else! In fact, all this time I was really studying you, because-!”

Across the room, Alphys’ phone blares an alarm. All the monsters in the room jump at the sudden noise, being as tense as a loaded bow string.

“It’s six o’clock,” Alphys gasps, hands flying to her muzzle. “Oh no, I forgot to give them dinner!”

“Alphys…?” the kid speaks up nervously, clearly distressed about the sudden outbreak. “Are you okay?”

Alphys looks at them sadly, and then to her friends who all wear pleading, desperate expressions.

“No, I’m not,” the lizard monster says sadly, inching towards the “restroom” along the north wall. “M-my lies go deeper than anyone realizes. I didn’t just deceive you; I deceived everyone in the Underground and I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got to… take care of something now, and whatever happens next, please don’t follow me.”

The “restroom” door parts and Alphys backs into it. The door slides back down before anyone has a chance to react.

“Alphys!” Everyone leaps for the door, scrambling over and around furniture and work benches, but none get to it in time. Undyne bangs on the metal panel so hard that it starts to dent, but still they don’t give.

“DAMNIT! Why won’t the door open?”

There’s a soft ding, and a faint light shows up on the restroom sign to the right of the door. It’s then that you notice that the restroom label is slightly crooked and… peeling?

Curious, you reach for the corner of the label, betting on a hunch, and tear it away to reveal a panel with two letters and a row of colored dots between them.

“G and B…” You read out loud. The letter ‘B’ is currently illuminated.

“Hey, this isn’t a bathroom!” Papyrus says. “It’s… an elevator?”

“But where does it go?”

As soon as the question is asked, the lights of the sign begin to shift, tracing backwards from B to the G. It chimes a pleasant note when it reaches the ground level once more and opens its doors expectantly.

“Down, apparently,” Sans notes. “Should we go after her?”

“Well DUH, dummy!” Undyne says, stepping in without a second thought. “You heard how upset Alphys was! We gotta make sure she’s okay!”

“Agreed!” Papyrus seconds the notion. “Alphys is our friend! We should be there for her if she needs us!”

Everyone piles into the elevator. There are no buttons on the inside. Instead, the doors automatically close and the lift descends, lowering far too slow for anyone’s comfort. All four occupants are tense and antsy as they try not to bump into anyone else in the tight space. Everyone keeps their eyes straight forward, anticipating the second the doors reopen.

At last the elevator rumbles to a steady halt and the door slides open. The group stumbles out of the lift, into a dimly lit hallway that echoes with bad vibes that instantly give everyone second thoughts about coming down here. A wave of cold, musty air hits your face as you step forward into the dim, murky hallway. Motion sensor monitors blink awake as you pass. You only pick up snippets as you try to keep up with the group, but you think they mention something about research on fallen monsters, human souls, and flowers.

“What is this place?” Papyrus asks, marching down the hallway.

“It’s like… some sort of sublayer of Alphys’ lab,” Undyne says, pointing to the blueprints on the wall and the shelves of beakers and vials. “Sans, you used to work with Alphys, right? Have you ever seen this before?”

“No, I haven’t,” Sans says mystified. “My main area of research was the CORE. To be honest, I never really saw how Alphys’ “research station” on the ground floor was considered a good set up for soul research, but this… THIS is a true lab.”

An ominous warning feeling prickles at the back of your neck in trepidation. You avert your eyes and keep your head low as you pick up the pace. The corridor opens into a lobby, complete with fake ficuses, fold up chairs and a vending machine. Across the other side of the room is another gaping doorway leading into darkness. The four members of the party stare at it. In the silence, scraping noises could be heard in the distance.

“I don’t like the looks of this,” Sans says.

“Well, there can’t possibly be anything… bad… down here,” You point out. “I-It’s just dark. We know Alphys is down here, so there can’t be anything dangerous nearby… right?”

“Yeah! We can’t wimp out now! It’s just Alphys!” Undyne says. “C’mon! Let’s find her!” And with that, Undyne forges ahead into darkness.

The hallway immediately turns right as it guides you past rows of locked offices, the names on each door long since peeled off or have been scratched out by some resentful claws. At the end of the hall is a door labeled “Dormitory”, and it’s slightly ajar. Is it your ears playing tricks on you, or do you hear breathing coming from the room beyond it?

“Looks like she went this way.” Undyne says, grabbing the doorknob and pushing it open. The hinges whimper only a little, as if frightened they’ll be punished if they make too much noise. A strange mist curls at your ankles, curiously poking at your footwear.

The four of you enter. It takes a while for your eyes to adjust. In the gloom, Undyne’s eye has dilated until her black pupil almost obscure her yellow sclera. San’s eye lights seem to have grown as well, but only cast about as much light as a glow stick in the dark.

When you can finally distinguish shapes in the low light, you discover the room is filled with medical cots, arranged in perfect columns and rows. Along the far wall, you spy more hallways branching off into the unknown. The four of you fan out, standing shoulder to shoulder. You take a step forward and your foot kicks a bowl. Bits of dry dog food scatter on the floor. You can’t shake the feeling you’re being watched.

“This place is huge,” Sans whistles as you creep along the northern wall. Your party turns north into the first branching hallway you find, but before long the corridor splits again at a T intersection. Hesitantly, you all look down each fork as far as you can see. “Should we split up to look for Alphys?”

“You dolt!” Undyne scolds him, flicking him on the top of the skull with her thumb and index finger. “Haven’t you ever watched a scary movie in your life? You NEVER split up from the group! There’s safety in numbers!”

“Yes, but we could cover more ground, Undyne!” Papyrus points out.

“Yeah, not to mention the whole “arguing about not splitting up thing” is becoming a trope in of itself,” Sans adds.

“It’s way too dark to see safely down here,” you add, siding with Undyne. “This place could be a labyrinth. We could get lost.”

“Yeah, but if we split up, one of us might get hurt, or something worse, and no one would be able to help!”

“We could travel in pairs!” Papyrus suggests.

“If we all stick together we could just as easily all get lost at once compared to if we split up,” Sans notes. “Mathematically speaking, spreading out is more beneficial to our cause. After all, it’s just us and Alphys down here, right?”

The question is rhetorical, but no one makes a noise of agreement. Everyone’s eyes shift side to side in uncertainty.

It’s just you and Alphys down here. And maybe if you say it enough times, you’ll start to believe it.

“R-right. Pairs it is, then. Papyrus, you and your brother start searching the west corridor. Me and the kid will head east.”

There’s a silent nod of agreement as your group splits into pairs. Turning right, you take one last look as the skeleton brothers’ head west before following Undyne into the pitch black hallway east. The air seems to drop in temperature the further you go.

“Alphys!” you call out into the darkness, your voice reverberating off the walls. “Please come out! We just want to talk with you!”

“SShhhh, punk!” Undyne hisses. “You gotta be quiet!”

“Why?” You ask. “Aren’t we the only ones down here?”

“Well, yeah! I mean, I think. Ugh! I don’t know anymore! The longer we’re down here, the more I feel like we’re not alone…”

“But we can’t be quiet if we’re trying to find her! How else will she know we’re here?”

Undyne can’t seem to find a response to that, and instead marches on.

Side by side you tiptoe down the hallway. Half way down, you unconsciously reach up and take the warrior’s scaly hand for comfort. You don’t even notice what you’ve done until Undyne is squeezing your hand back for her own reassurance. You hold her tight, not wanting to lose her in the low visibility.

The path you’ve chosen ends in a dead end room packed floor to ceiling with cooling fans on two of the three walls, quietly emitting an ever-present hum. At the far end of the room is a switch.

“Light switches?” you say optimistically.

“A light switch? All the way down here in this dead end hallway on the other side of the room?” Undyne says skeptically.

“Hey, you never know,” you argue and go up and flip it.

The monotonous thrum of the fans dies down instead as their blades still, leaving the room more deathly silent than before.

“Tch,” Undyne clicks her tongue as she studies the ceiling. “Well, it was worth a shot, I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess this means we can go back the other way and meet up with the guys now, huh?”

A low rumble sounds behind you.

“What was that?” you say quickly.

“Maybe it was just one of the fans who didn’t get the memo about turning off?”

The grumble from across the room turns into a growl. The two of you spin around on your heels to catch an amorphous form emerging from the darkness.

There’s… a creature lurching towards you from across the room, but it doesn’t look or behave like any monster you’ve met so far. Its body is stark white and dripping like melting snow. An ever-changing, uncountable number of limbs protrude from his body, sprouting and retracting back into its mass, a self-contained shadow, darker than darkness is collected under its legs with glowing eyes peering at you from between its shifting limbs. The bulk of it tapers off into one lump you dare call a head, but instead of a face, there is just a circle of blackness with no texture or shape to hint its depth, just a pure space of void that is aimed right at you. The creature is huge, bigger than you and Undyne combined.

And it’s blocking the only exit.

“St-stay back!” Undyne shouts, throwing her arm in front of you like a shield. You are not sure if the statement was directed at you or the creature. She summons a spear to look threatening. “What are you, and did you do anything to Doctor Alphys, you freak?!”

The thing in front of you seems confused as well. Its many legs jerk and spasm as it clamors toward you to inspect you closer.

“I’m warning you!” Undyne yells, pointing her quivering spear in its general direction. “T-take another step and you’ll get to know this spear up close and personal!”

The beast makes a snuffling sound, the void on its head constricting with each huff of air. Two protrusions on its head perk up as it begins to erratically inch closer.

“H-hey! Didn’t you hear me, freak? By order of the Royal Guard, stand down! I’m giving you to the count of three to back off or I. Will. Fire!”

Undyne lifts her spear high and stands at the ready. In the same moment the beast in front of you crouches as if ready to pounce. Its whole body quivers violently.

“One…!”

You narrow your eyes. Why is there something so familiar in the way that it’s poised? The tilt of its head, how its hindquarters are up in the air…

“Two!”

The wag of… its… tail- oh god you know what this is.

“Thr-!” “Undyne! Don’t hurt it!” you tackle the guard in a panic, barreling into her waist just as she looses her spear. The weapon goes flying far off target to the left, and the creature immediately spins around and lunges after it.

“Punk, what the hell???” Undyne screams at you. “That thing was about to attack us!”

“No, it’s not,” you say as you get up on your shaking knees. “I-it’s a dog, Undyne. It’s just a dog.” Your voice won’t stop trembling.

“A dog!? Brat, I work with dogs, and I can tell you that thing ISN’T a dog!”

“B-but it is! Watch,” you blow a shrill whistle, then turn your attention to the room’s exit, and just as you figured, the white mass comes charging back. It skitters to a halt, its head turning to each of you, not sure who summoned it. You step forward to catch his attention.

“H-hey boy,” you coo, patting your knees with all the bravery you can muster.

“Sh-show Undyne here that you’re just another old pooch. Come here!”

The amalgamate’s body goes ridged at the command, before its ears fold back and it leaps forward, It lets out an ecstatic ear-piercing shriek as it knocks you flat, its tail wagging so fast it’s just a blur. It rubs its face all over your sweater, coating your shirt in dog hair and a cold aqueous gel you’d rather not think about.

Behind you, Undyne screams and grabs the collar of your shirt to yank you out of harm’s way.

“Brat, are you trying to get yourself killed?!” Undyne says, holding you two feet off the ground.

“No, look! He’s calming down!” You fight back. “Really! Try petting him!”

“I’m not going anywhere NEAR that thing and neither are you! What if this hell spawn ate Alphys?”

The culmination of canines whines as if struck and cowers, placating.

“It’s okay boy, or… girl, or whatever you are. You’re not in trouble. You’re a good dog.”

Seeking affection, the amalgamate crawls closer and stretches out its neck to meet your out reaching hand. You ruffle the fur on the top of its head and the monster’s body shakes with joy.

Half way through your pet, the monster pulls back and begins to heave, and its whole body spasming as it hacks something up from what you only hope is its stomach.

With a violent cough, Undyne’s blue spear falls out of the hole in its face and onto the floor, coated in slobber.

The three of you stare at it for a second, and then the amalgamate puffs up its chest proudly.

“Ha ha, see? It is a dog,” you tell Undyne. “It brought your spear back for you.”

“Well if it’s a dog then it should be able to find someone by scent!” Undyne says. Her shoulders un-tense at last, and she almost looks impressed at the monster. “Hey, mutt! Find doctor Alphys!”

The monster’s ears twitch at the name, but it doesn’t move.

“Go on! Sniff her out!” Undyne repeats.

The canine tilts its head.

Undyne rolls her eye. “You know; FETCH.”

The amalgamate leaps to its feet and does a one-eighty so fast that its claws skit on the tile, making it cartoonishly run in place for a second. The creature lets out a bark so deep, you feel it in your bones. When at last it finds traction, the amalgamate tears off, its rear end fishtailing and crashing into the wall of fans as it lunges for the door way.

“Guess we’d better follow it,” you say. “It’s as good a lead as any.”

You catch up to the amalgamate in the hallway. Its face is so low to the ground its almost touching it as it snorts at the floor, head swiveling back and forth as it searches for the scent. Its face traces over one spot before it slingshots back, and studies it intently. After a tense moment of sniffing, its head comes up and it brays, loud and deafening when it finds a trail and takes off towards it.

If the halls weren’t so narrow, you don’t know if you’d have been able to keep up with the amalgamate. Its feet constantly scramble to keep it up right, as if not acquainted with having so many legs. Sometimes the amalgamate doesn’t even stay on the floor, instead choosing to crawl along the walls and ceiling as it snakes through the tunnel.

Making a hard right, the canine amalgamate leads you through the showers and into a room lined floor to ceiling with shelves of video tapes, where it proceeds to spend several minutes sniffing the shelves.

“She must’ve been here recently,” you note, eyeing the strange VHSs and old TV in the middle of the room.

“Well, she isn’t here now,” Undyne says, before the amalgamate takes off once more. “Come on! We can’t lose it!”

Ahead the amalgamate makes a sharp left, skirting a pit so deep, you can’t see the bottom of it. The amalgamate disappears down another hall, only to have screams answer a second later.

“Sans and Papyrus!” you gasp. “Quick, we gotta stop them before they hurt the dog!”

You race into the room as fast as you can. “Stop! Heel!” you preemptively shout, only to find a cage of blue bones trapping the amalgamate.

“Nobody move!” Undyne orders as she enters the room.

“No need to fear!” Papyrus says when he catches the sight of your confused faces. “I have detained the threat! We are uninjured and safe!”

“It’s not a threat, Papyrus. It’s a dog!” you explain.

“He won’t hurt you.” Undyne grunts. “Typical dog. Can’t stay focused if there’re bones nearby!”

The amalgamate twists around in circles. You can’t tell if it’s fascinated or confused by the blue bones, but then to everyone’s surprise, it hunkers down close and then the void on its face begins to expand. With a great intake of air, like the magnetic pull of a black hole, the amalgamate inhales one wall of bones into its orifice, completely unfazed.

“Well then!” Papyrus says only slightly perturbed. “I should have anticipated that bone attacks would have no effect on a dog monster!”

The amalgamate lets out another earth shaking bark before pouncing on Papyrus.

“Hey! Paws off the little brother!” Sans shouts, his eye flaring blue.

“Sans! No! It’s okay!” you scream. “It’s just a dog! It won’t hurt him!”

Beneath the pile of white sludge, papyrus shrieks a bone rattling cry. “Help! I’m being affectionately licked to my death!”

“A dog?” echoes Sans, eyeing the enormous conglomerate of canines. “If that’s true, what kind of dog, then?”

“Uhh, mixed breed?” you offer. In the distance, you think you hear a snicker and a shiver runs down your back. Blinking, you momentarily put the thought to the side but keep your eyes peeled. “It likes to be pet and knows how to fetch, at the very least. We were hoping it could help us find Alphys, but it looks like he caught the scent of you two instead.”

“Leave it to a dog to find a bunch of bones!” Undyne snorts. “You two having any better luck?”

“No sign of Alphys so far,” Sans reports. “It was really foggy in here and we couldn’t see anything for the life of us, but then it suddenly cleared up. Maybe a second look around wouldn’t hurt.”

“As much as I’d love to find Alphys,” Papyrus grumbles, affectionately stroking the canine monster, “I can’t get any searching done if I’m constantly being assaulted by over excited canines! Can we please get this guy out of the room?”

“Sorry, Paps. You know the rules.” Sans shrugs. “Once you pet a dog, the pact is sealed. He’s yours now.”

“But he’s impeding our search and rescue efforts!”

“How about we regroup?” Undyne suggests. “It seems pretty clear this mutt isn’t going anywhere without you, Papyrus so how about you and I take him back to the dormitory where he can stay out of the way, while Sans and the punk keep looking for Alphys?”

“UGH! Fine! I will be on dog-sitting duty!” Papyrus grumbles, wiggling his way out from beneath the amalgamate. He looks over his shoulder blades at you and Sans as he leaves the room with the canine in tow. “You two! Be quick about it! We don’t have all night to find Alphys!”

“No worries, bro,” Sans assures him. “We’re keeping our eye-sockets out for her.”

Undyne and Papyrus groan as they exit the room. But from somewhere behind you and Sans-

“Ha… ha…”

That uneasy shiver runs down your spine again. Sans must feel it too, for his eye lights shift from side to side as he tries to pin point the haunting laughter.

“Who’s there?” he flinches, looking sharply over his shoulder. In the very back of the room, you think you see a figure wince and withdraw into the shadows behind a row of refrigerators. Whatever is over there sure isn’t Alphys, but if it’s just as scared of you as you are of it, then it can’t be all that dangerous.

“Sans…” you say quietly. You point to the last fridge. Sans nods. “No sudden movement. Turn around… very… slowly.”

You creep over to the ice box and slowly peer around one of its sides while Sans does the same on the other. Huddled in a corner is another amalgamate, pale blue and white. Timidly it squawks when it realizes its cornered, shedding snowflakes from its ruffled feathers and forcing you to back away.

“Hey there,” Sans says softly to the creature. “Sorry if I spooked ya. I didn’t mean nothin’ by it. Mind coming out?”

“Who’s … there…? Who’s… there…?” The monster mimics Sans in a tired voice. “Knock… knock?”

“Is…. Is this a knock, knock joke?” Sans asks, beads of sweat forming on his brow. “’Cause I’m great at those, but it doesn’t’ really work if you tell ‘em backwards like that.”

“Maybe WE should try telling the knock, knock joke?” you suggest, inching closer to Sans. “It did laugh at your eye socket pun.”

“Worth a shot.” Sans shrugs. “Can’t do any harm, anyway. Knock, knock.”

There is a moment of silence before the monster pokes its head out from around the side of the fridge again, and you get a clear look at it for the first time. Its eyes are sagging and vacant. It’s got a beak and wings like a bird, and much like the canine amalgamate, it seems to melting, or, err, molting in this case. Parts of it seem more plant-like than feather like. A cold mist clouds around its beak when it exhales, and the general air around it is so cold…

“Who… is… there?” It asks curiously.

“Their snow.”

“Their… snow… who?”

“There’s snow door bell, so I have to knock!”

“Ha… ha… ha...” the melting monster chuckles, feathers and slush dripping from its amorphous body. “Sn… snowy…”

Clumsily, the amalgamate steps forward and you have to fight back a gasp of shock. In better lighting you can see the monster more clearly. It looks like some hybrid of the Snowdrake you met in Snowdin combined with the Vegetoids you know in the Ruins.

“Hey, I think it worked.” You say let’s try another.”

“No problem, kiddo,” Sans winks. “I can dish out jokes for days. Listen to this one- where does a snowman keep his money?”

“Where…?” The amalgamate asks.

“In a snowbank!”

“Ha… ha… Thank you…” the amalgamate laughs.

“Pardon us, but I didn’t realize you hybrid monsters could talk.” You ask quietly. “Who are you?”

“I… don’t… remember…” It says, ruffling its feathers. “Got… got lost… so… long ago…. Where…. Where did… they… go? I… need to… go home… want to… go home… Where is home?”

The more it talks, the more agitated the amalgamate becomes and the less definite its shape holds, like it’s losing itself.

“Hey! Hey! No worries,” Sans says comfortingly. “We can help ya. No need to fall apart on me.”

“Heh… heh…” the amalgamate smiles weakly. “I… remember… now.”

“You do?” You say hopefully. “What happened to you?”

“We… I… Missssess drake… me.” The monster says, trying to keep its words straight. “F… fallen… down… The doctor… said… she could… help…”

You stifle a gasp. Beside you Sans goes ridged.

“Mrs. Drake? Snowdrake’s mother?” you say nervously.

“Ah… little… Snowy… so funny…” she smiles fondly. “Just… like his… father.”

“Mr. Drake…” Sans says absently. He turns to you. “His comedy routine’s been in the pits since his wife fell down and his son ran away from home.”

“Did Alphys do this to you?” You ask sadly, looking at the depressing amalgamate.

“Al… phys… doctor…. Alphys said… stay determined… she… would… help…”

“My God…” Sans says. His eyes go dangerously dark. “I knew Alphys had wanted to run tests on monsters, but I didn’t think she’d do THIS to you.”

“Not… her… fault…” Mrs. Drake says. “Not… her… fault… no… one’s… fault… no… one… knew…”

The amalgamation begins to shiver again, becoming upset once more.

“It’s okay, Mrs. Drake,” You comfort her. “Do you know where Alphys is now?”

“Know?... No…” the amalgamate says.

“We’re gonna help you get home,” Sans promises. “Don’t worry, we won’t be mad at Alphys.”

“Let’s take her back to the dormitory with the others,” you say, lending her a hand. Mrs. Drake places a wing into it, and at once your hand goes numb as it’s enveloped in the strange gelatinous sludge.

“Might as well. This way is a dead end.” Sans notes, nodding at the room. “Alphys wasn’t down this direction. Was there more to explore where you found the pooch?”

“No, but I think there was another hallway that led out the dormitory. We can still go that way.”

You retrace your steps back to the main room with the beds, where you discover Undyne and Papyrus have shoved several cots together for the canine amalgamate to curl up on.

“Sssshhh!” Undyne hisses at you when you enter the room. “We just managed to get Endogeny to calm down, so don’t make any loud noises!”

“Endogeny?”

“Yeah!” Undyne says, pointing to the dog bowl you had kicked when you first came in the room. “That’s their name! Or at least, that’s what Papyrus and I assumed. They respond to anything you call them if you say it in a mushy voice. Isn’t that right, stupid face?” Undyne coos. Endogeny whines ecstatically.

“Wait, where is Papyrus?” Sans says, looking around the room and noticing a lack of brother to be found.

A lump beneath Endogeny’s fur begins to move and a gloved hand pops out between one of its many pairs of legs.

“Over here!” Papyrus says. “It seems Endogeny feels anxious when they do not have a chew toy to cuddle with, so I had to be a substitute.”

“Chew toy?” Sans asks in concern.

“Ah! Do not fret dear brother! I may have been the role of chew toy, but I was not in harm’s way, for Endogeny has no teeth! Or mouth! Or a face for that matter! So there was never any danger!”

“Never mind all that!” Undyne interrupts. “Did’ja find Alphys?”

“No, but we found someone else,” you and Sans step aside to let Mrs. Drake enter the room. “Oh God, another one?” Undyne says.

“It’s Snowdrake’s mom, Undyne,” you explain. “One of the monsters Alphys was trying to prevent from falling down. We think Alphys accidentally did this to them.”

“Wait, these guys are the monsters that Alphys TESTED on?” Undyne shutters. “Then that means… these dogs-“

“Were probably formal guard members.”

Undyne looks at Endogeny with new light. A look of sadness shadows her face. “What did Alphys do?” she whispers sadly.

“Not her fault… not her fault…” Mrs. Drake repeats, shaking. “The doctor… is good… she did not… mean to…”

“Hey, hey,” Sans says, patting the amalgamate’s back the best he can. He has to stop when his hand starts to meld into her form. “We aren’t mad. Just worried and concerned.”

“There’s still one more hallway we haven’t searched yet,” You point out. “Alphys could be down there.”

“I think I’m gonna have to stay here, bucko,” Sans says. “Mrs. Drake seems pretty shaken. I think I’ll keep her company and tell her a few more of my stellar jokes that are out of this world.”

The amalgamate chuckles and begins to grin.

“See? There’s the smile I’m looking for.”

“Okay, then. Undyne?”

“Don’t think I can, punk.” Undyne says. “Endogeny only stays relaxed if someone can maintain a constant petting environment with supplemental head scratches at a Mach Five speed, and if I don’t do it there’s no doubt in my mind Endogeny will go on another rampage that will surely kill hundreds via love tackle. D’you think you’ve got the endurance for that?”

“Uh… I don’t think so.”

“Ah! It looks like it is my turn to go exploring dimly lit corridors with y new best fried!” Papyrus says, squeezing out from under Endogeny’s legs. The amalgamate gives a small grunt of displeasure before rolling over for belly rubs. “Come on, friend! Let us succeed where other great monsters have failed and find the doctor! We shall return triumphant!”

“Okay. We’ll be back as fast as we can, guys!”

You exchange ‘good lucks’ and ‘farewells’ with Sans and Undyne, and take off down the east hall with Papyrus. It’s not long until the dormitory fades out of sight. Ahead of you, the hallway brightens a little, filling your heart with hope, but when you round the corner, you’re met with just another hallway. On the left side, the wall is lined with mirrors that trick your eyes into believe the corridor is actually bigger than it is. On the right side, a row of tables covered with flower pots growing under artificial lights borders the wall. Ah, so that’s why it seemed brighter.

Your heart skips a beat when you recognize the plants grown. They’re golden flowers. Why are there golden flowers way down here? Wait… If… if Alphys had created these amalgamations, then… was it possible she had created other things as well?

“Hey, do you hear that?” Papyrus whispers to you. You listen close and pick up the faintest sound of… a crinkling wrapper?

Stealthily inching forward, you and Papyrus edge the wall. It’s yet another monster, this time with a body of blue and green, with arms of brown and a head of deep purple. It hunches over something in front of you, its head nothing more than a giant mouth and a pair of eyes. Its body is slug-like with two muscular arms and no legs.

“It’s another amalgamate,” Papyrus says.

“Is… is it eating something?” you ask when you hear its jaws crunch and snap. You swallow hard. What if it’s eating- no. No, it couldn’t have. The other amalgamates you’ve met so far have bend nice and friendly, so why would this one be different? Besides, dust doesn’t crunch. “Should we approach it?”

“I think not! It would be rude to strike up a conversation with someone while they have their mouth full!”

You strategize with Papyrus on what to do, when a new noise distracts you from behind. It’s a tapping noise that echoes above you, and you turn around to find a lanky figure emerging from the overhead vents like viscus fluid.

It’s ANOTHER amalgamate, twice the height of you and Papyrus combined. Its body is a mottled color of red and orange, with two skinny legs, a pencil thin neck, a massive, pointy bill and razor sharp wings. It has one eye that makes up all of its face, and when it blinks you can’t help but notice its eyelids are lined with teeth. As soon as the amalgamate sees you, it lets out a blood curdling screech and charges forward.

“Papyrus! Duck!”

The skeleton snatches you up and covers you like a blast shield. “I think it looks more like a stork or a crane, but still definitely avian!” he says in a panic, as the monster rushes past.

The amalgamate doesn’t pay you any mind as it dashes past you and Papyrus, instead going straight for the other amalgamate in the room. The first amalgamate hisses in defiance at the newcomer’s approach, turning its back on the bird as it tries to protect the thing it had been snacking on.

With angry screeching that sounds like twenty different bird calls at once, the bird monster attacks the other with rapid-fire pecks from its beak and raking stomps from its claws. The big lipped monster screams in protest, grabbing the bird’s neck with its muscly arm in an effort to keep it at bay, but it’s no use against the bird’s sheer amount of reach. Flapping its razor wings in retaliation, the bird pecks at the slug-monsters eyes. The assaulted amalgamate shrieks in pain, and releases the bird to cover its face. The attacker, now freed, swoops its head low and snatches at the prize the injured amalgamate had been guarding.

“No, Reaper Bird!” it cries out, it’s voice many-layered like a chorus. “These are Lemon Bread’s! Get your own!”

Reaper Bird raises their head triumphantly, the prize held high out of Lemon Bread’s reach, safely in its serrated jaws. It’s then you can see clearly what they are fighting over.

“It’s… a bag of chips!” you say in disappointed annoyance. With a cry of outrage, Lemon Bread swipes at Reaper Bird’s legs with their thick tail, knocking the thieving amalgamate to the ground. The chips scatter across the floor and the skirmish starts anew.

“They’re fighting over junk food! You tell papyrus. “We have to break it up!”

“Hey! Be careful!” Papyrus warns you as you wiggle free of his grasp.

“Stop! Stop it you two!” You demand, pushing the monsters apart and holding your hands up between them. Reaper Bird screams something that sounds like ten different insults at once at you as it stomps it feet angrily, scratching up the title.

“Listen to them!” papyrus demands, stepping close to your side. “Look at yourselves! You two are clearly adults, yet you can’t even share? Did you learn nothing in Kindergarten?”

Reaper Bird says something that you can’t make out and snaps its beak.

“I’m… I’m sorry, could you run that by me again?” Papyrus says.

Reaper Bird screams and doubles over, contorting its jaw before shouting;

“We are starving!” “Supper is late!” “He took the last bag!”

“The doctor never came,” Lemon bread grumbles in its many toned voice. “Said she would bring dinner, but nobody came. Forgotten about us again. Forgotten forever.”

“That can’t possibly true!” Papyrus scoffs. “If you are a patient of Dr. Alphys, then she would never abandon you!”

“That’s what they all say.” Lemon bread hisses, narrowing their eyes at you.

“H-hey, what’s going on here!” A familiar stuttering voice demands. A wave of relief washes over you when you turn to find Alphys carrying a box full of canned goods “I’m f-f-five minutes late to give you dinner and you start going at each other’s throats? H-have some manners!”

Reaper Bird and Lemon Bread hang their heads apologetically.

“H-here,” Alphys says, passing them each a can of ravioli. “T-take turns using the microwave, a-and cover your bowls with a paper towel so it doesn’t splatter everywhere!” Alphys tells them as the two amalgamates excitedly rush off down the corridor. “A-and Reaper Bird, will you quit turning off all the lights? It’s bad for your eyes to stay in the dark!”

“Florescent lights hurt my eye!” “I am just one big eye!” “I have night vision!” it says all at once.

After they’ve vanished from sight Alphys turns towards you, but doesn’t look you in the eye.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that. That you had to see any of this,” she says quietly. “I-I guess you know the truth now, don’t you? About all the horrible things I’ve done to these monsters. I-it’s okay if you’re angry at me for hiding such terrible lies. I understand…”

“Alphys!” you and Papyrus say in unison as you rush forward to embrace her in a hug.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you hurt?”

“We thought we’d never find you or see you again!”

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“You… you have?” Alphys blinks confused. “I thought… I thought you’d be angry with me.”

“We’ll admit we’re a little upset, but we were more scared and concerned about you above anything else!” Papyrus says. “We were so worried!”

“Y-you were?”

“Of course! You’re our friend, Alphys!” you tell her matter-of-factly. “We all came down to look for you!”

“You were looking for me?” Alphys parrots, disbelieving. “Why?”

“Is there an echo down here?” You giggle. “We all came looking because we were worried, Alphys. We all care about you and didn’t want to see you get hurt.”

“That’s… That’s so kind of you,” Alphys sniffs. “I- I don’t deserve any of this. Y-you should have just left me here. I d-don’t deserve to be forgiven for what I’ve done!”

“Yes you do, Alphys!” you huff. “So stop putting yourself down like that! Sure, it looks like you’ve done some… questionable things, down here, but whatever you need to confess, we’ll still support you, no matter what, okay?”

“Yeah… yeah, you’re right,” the royal scientist perks up just a little bit and stands a little straighter. “Let’s go back to the main room. I still have to give Endogeny and Mrs. Drake their dinners, a-and I’ve got a lot I need to come clean about to you guys and… and to everyone.”

Alphys follows Papyrus and her lab partner back into the dormitory, albeit reluctantly. Sans, Undyne, Endogeny and Mrs. Drake meet her there. She braces for a bunch of raised voices and accusations and angry questions but instead she is only met with more worry and concern. When the anger she had been preparing herself for ultimately never comes, she finally has a break down.

“This… is what happened to your soul research?”

“Y-yeah,” Alphys sobs. “E-everyone seemed fine at first. I.-I w-was going t-to send them all ho-ome but then when they melted together and st-started to lose their identities, I-I couldn’t do it. A-all their fa-amlies would hate me and blame me, and they’re not wrong! I did this to them! The longer I kept putting off sending them home, the harder it became. Every day I got more angry phone calls, a-and I just ignored it like a c-coward until they eventually gave up and stopped calling.”

In the comfort of Undyne’s arms, surrounded by her closest friends and a dog ready to offer sympathy at a moment’s notice, Alphys recounts her tale, how she extracted determination from the king’s collection of human souls, to injecting monsters with concentrated doses of determination, to hiding them in the basement when the experiment had failed.

Her audience listens patiently, and while not once they ever raise their voice or scold her, Alphys can see the horror and frustration in their eyes at her words.

“Th-that’s why when you thanked me, I p-panicked,” Alphys says to the human. “You… you were the first person to not know of anything I’d done prior, and working together with you was fun! Helping you was fun! You g-genuinely liked me, and for a few moments, I didn’t feel like a disappointment anymore! I remembered what it felt like to be depended on by s-someone, but I knew in my soul that image of me in your mind was smoke and mirrors, and I didn’t deserve that praise. I… I originally liked to you because I wanted to study you, b-but by the end of the day I really did want to be your friend, but if I c-can’t even tell the truth, then how can I ever make a friendship work?”

“So it’s true, then?” The human says, distracted. “You wanted to study me? Mettaton said as much when we had the dance-off, but I thought he was just trying to get in my head.”

“Uh, y-y-yeah,” Alphys sweats. Beneath her, Undyne tenses, and she can feel Sans and Papyrus watching her nervously. “B-b-b-because, I, uh, you, aah…”

“Because I’m a Boss Monster, right?” The human fills in the blank. “My soul is a little stronger than average monsters, right? And you wanted to learn more about it? You couldn’t really do that to Asgore, since you work for him. You wanted to study it to help the other monsters?”

In that moment Alphys realizes she has a choice; to stick to the truth and come clean about EVERYTHING or take part in a lie she hadn’t even started. She realizes then, if she told them the truth, it would hurt them, and that she’d be taking down everyone else with her. All this time she had been lying and keeping secrets to protect herself. Was a lie still just as bad if it was to protect someone else?

“S… something like that,” Alphys says, neither lying flat out, nor telling the truth either. If the kid would offer her a way out, then she would take it. No need to complicate things further. She’d already come clean about most of her lies. The lies of others are a different matter.

“Alphys, I know how you feel, and I know what you’re going through,” The kid tells her. “Because I’m the exact same way. You feel like you’ve screwed up so horribly that there’s nothing you can do about it, that it’s all your fault and there’s no way you can be forgiven no matter how hard you try, but those thoughts are wrong, Alphys.” They glance at Sans. “Someone once told me as long as you own up to your mistakes and do your best to mend them, no one can fault you for bad intentions.”

“Y-y-you really think that?”

“Of course, dummy!” Undyne says, hugging her tight. “We got your back no matter what! As long as you honestly try your hardest to help those around you, we’ll be there to support you!”

Alphys whimpers and sheds a few tears of relief. “Th-thank you guys so much. I-I-I want to be a better person, I really do, and knowing you’ll forgive me for the mess I didn’t mean to cause really helps.”

Gently, Alphys pries Undyne’s arms off of her and gets to her feet. She lets out a sigh, and then stands up tall. “Now that I know you guys don’t blame me, I’m ready to tell the rest of the Underground what happened as well.” She waves the amalgamates to come close. “Come on, everyone. It’s time for me to take you all home.”

#Undertale #undertale fanfiction #fan fic #my writing #you monster #alphys #sans #papyrus #mettaton #endogeny #reaper bird #it's so cold #lemon bread

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darkhymns-fic · 7 years

Text

The Official Flowey Fan Club!

Flowey had gone through so many timelines, so many runs, that any thrill they once had were starting to wane. Still, there was one certain route Flowey had avoided to take for so long.

Welcome to the Flowey Fan Club.

Fandom: Undertale Characters: Flowey, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys Rating: PG Mirror Links: AO3 Notes: Happy Holidays to @cutecatdoodles! I was your Secret Santa for @undertalesecretsanta. I latched onto your ‘Flowey during one of his resets prompt’ and went a little nuts with it. Flowey is always a fun character to write for and the idea for this story just took over (at 7000 words..) I hope you like it!

He could do this again, if needed.

That’s how it always is though, isn’t it?

When Flowey passed traveled through the dim marshlands of Waterfall, he let his roots drag behind him. The dust that coated his petals became chalky withdue to the constant mist around him. It felt disgusting, nothing that an easy dunk in the nearby puddles couldn’t fix. But he stayed away, walking as best as a flower ever could. The view around the place was scenic; the soft pattering of the recycled rain, the glow of the echo flowers that stared out at him, their faceless heads mocking him with their whispers, and the glittering stars above – fake and worthless as they were.

Just like those stars, everything around him was a mockery. Right now it was nighttime, but the darkness was always present here. The waterfalls were not real phenomena of nature either, just the stream always being redirected back through the stones. There was no dark sky overhead, just miles of rock that none had hope of ever breaking through.

Flowey finally made it past the marshes to reach a stone path, but all was empty. Not even a stray Temmie vibrating by.

This run was already getting boring.

“I’ve already done everything else,” Flowey muttered to himself. Long, curling gnarled roots and vines bunched up behind him like a waiting beast, their nature as twisted as he was himself. The length of them was staggering, already taller than his small frame. No other monster could hope to match such genuine monstrosity. “How many ways do I need to kill them again before I get something different?!”

When making friends had lost its appeal, Flowey began to deal in death instead. But the reactions were already getting stale; the brief terror of that Snowdrake, the bunny woman’s empty shop, and the stare of a hooded figure in the distance.

Nothing Flowey had done ever prompted that figure to fight him. Not until the very end.

“I need a new strategy.” He thought about a certain something, a turn of events that he had been avoiding for so long before. “Ugh, but that…”

What a stupid idea. Only an idiot would ever think of that! And granted, the idea had been thought up by one such idiot, but that same idiot had at least given Flowey the most entertainment he could wring out of this bore of a world.

And out of so many endless runs, what harm could there be in trying it out? After all, he could always just RESET.

Not like that figure in the distance was going to do anything.

“Fine.” Flowey’s roots and vines then submerged into the ground, like a beast burrowing frantically into its den. Soil and stone flew into the air due to the force, the crunching sound deeply disturbing to literally anyone else. To Flowey, this was normal.

He had heard the silence, with its aftertaste of fear. He had heard the repetitive echoes of his own voice, bounding back to him from the meadows of blue flowers. He had heard the clattering of bones as they fell against polished tiles.

There are far worse things to hear.

He closed his eyes.

CONTINUE. RESET.

There were more monsters to kill. Undyne would be near the edge of Hotland if he continued ahead. But this timeline had nothing else going for him anymore.

Flowey smiled then, his face morphing into something that should not be seen. And luckily, no one would. They were either dead, or fled deeper into the Underground. But none of that mattered. He would make this next run count.

“This time, I’ll humor the idiot!”

RESET.

“ya ready?”

Flowey sighed, his petals already damp from the drizzling snow. But he kept on his smile, friendly and happy and oh so excited! “Of course! I’m ready for anything!”

“ok.” Sans placed his hand on the front door. Flowey ignored the lazy tread of the skeleton, as well as he ignored the full mailbox behind them both, which looked ready to topple over from its weight of envelopes. “just uh, don’t tell papyrus about me spoiling the surprise. guy’s been looking forward to it all week.”

Flowey slid a leaf over his mouth, mimicking a zippered-up motion. “My lips are sealed! Well, if I had any!”

“heh, nice.”

Once Sans turned back to the door, Flowey let slip the tiniest of frowns.

Just get this over with.

When he first heard of the idea, he had avoided this turn of events at all costs. But after doing the rest, what else did he have? So he chose this route, and would stick with it to the end. He took another deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what would come.

Sans opened the door to their home, and immediately, came a screaming voice.

“HELLO!” Papyrus waved erratically. Streamers and numerous other party favors fell out of his arms, the skeleton having promptly dropped them all to greet his brother and flowery friend. “WELCOME TO THE FLOWEY FAN CLUB!”

Flowey did all he could to not outright cringe at the sight.

Papyrus had gone completely overboard in the celebrations. The wallpaper was no longer a single color, but flower-patterned. Streamers covered the stairway railings, and the floor, and the television set, and also the couch. And there were party balloons everywhere. It was a fine array of gold and green that looked to have been vomited all over the skeleton’s living room just then. Flowey looked up to find what seemed to be a Flowey head piñata, face in a wide smile, so happy to be knocked around at any moment. There were also party snacks on the table by the couch – which mainly consisted of both burnt and frozen spaghetti, arranged in bowls, tin trays, small cups, and sometimes just wrapped up in napkins like some kind of fancy hors d’oeuvres. He was already getting nauseous.

Still, what caught Flowey’s attention the most was the mind-numbingly bright yellow banners that were stretched across the ceiling, each one in Papyrus’ unique handwriting. All were written in various ways of saying the same message, such as THE FLOWEY FAN CLUB! and FOR ALL FLOWEY FANS! as well as COME JOIN THE FLOWEY CRAZE (BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO!!) and there was also don’t have a stigma against us which was radically different- oh wait.

“SANS!” Papyrus placed bony hands on his bony hips, glaring down at the smaller skeleton that was now suddenly laying down on the couch. “YOU’VE RUINED MY SPECIAL DECORATIONS WITH YOUR VANDALISM.”

“just showing my own fanaticism for the weed, bro.”

Flowey decided not to take offense to that. Still standing before the door, where his roots could comfortably reach into the soil, he smiled at the tall skeleton. “This is amazing, Papyrus! You didn’t have to go through all this trouble for little old me!”

Papyrus’ eyes were shining from the praise. With quick reflexes, he brought out a flowerpot which also sported a logo of Flowey’s winking, smiling face, and brought it near Flowey so that he could enter their home. “NOTHING IS TOO MUCH TROUBLE FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS! NYEH HEH HEH! AS WELL AS HIS BEST FRIEND, FLOWERY!”

“It’s Flowey,” Flowey corrected, hopping from Snowdin’s soil to the packed one in the flowerpot. “I mean, you got it correct on your banners, but, um, never mind! I’m really happy that you thought so much of me!”

Papyrus kept soaking in the praise. He was ridiculously easy to please, one thing that Flowey liked about him. It took very little effort from him to get positive reactions from the monster, and so many of them, too.

“AS MY BEST FRIEND, I HAD TO DO SOMETHING! A FAN CLUB TO TELL YOU HOW TRULY SPECIAL YOU ARE, AND ALSO MY CURRENT OBSESSION. BESIDES, YOU’VE NOT ONLY HELPED ME, BUT SO MANY OTHER MONSTERS IN THE UNDERGROUND, WHO I AM SURE ARE JUST AS OBSESSED WITH YOU, TOO.”

Sans agreed with a thumbs-up while he laid on the couch, eye sockets closed.

“Aw, shucks!” Flowey made sure to act all humble, face turned away in well-acted embarrassment. Too easy, really. (And the decorations were, in fact, plenty embarrassing). “Nothing’s more important than helping out your friends! It’s almost a shame they didn’t make it to this wonderful…” A party balloon had popped, its now deflated form falling on top of Flowey’s head. He continued to smile. “…Party.”

Now, the thing about Papyrus was that he was absolutely terrible at hiding his excitement. It’s why Flowey could already tell that the skeleton was setting up some surprise for him in the first place – only later confirmed when Sans told him straight away about it when asked.

Papyrus right now was acting just like that. His bones were rattling, and he hopped up and down his feet, his red scarf bouncing with the movement. His eye sockets continued to shine, emitting sparkles that floated over his skull.

“bro, you’re going to spill the beans.”

“NO BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILT, BROTHER.” Papyrus, however, continued to hop, and then even that was not enough. “OH, I CANNOT WAIT. I’VE BROUGHT ALL THOSE YOU HAVE HELPED OVER HERE AS WELL!”

Flowey had to take a second to parse the meaning of such words. “You did?”

“YES. ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!”

Right on cue, the house seemed to explode with noise. “Surprise!!”

One of the doors from upstairs slammed open. Undyne had kicked it forcefully, pulling the door off its hinges, though Papyrus seemed to pay little mind. In her arms, she carried a blushing Alphys, who was looking every which way in fear. “NGAAH! Welcome to the Flowey Fan Club, nerd!”

The door next to Undyne’s entrance also slammed open. This was accompanied by frantic barking and howling. The entire Royal Guard was there, all of them scurrying around the upstairs area with boundless energy. Everyone except for Doggo, who turned his head at every telltale movement around him. “Hey! Too much moving!”

With less violence, some more monsters walked out of the kitchen area. Many of these, Flowey could indeed recognize. The failing comedian named Snowdrake and his sunglasses-wearing cousin, the tall orange monster with the clownish face and his scarf-wearing mousey friend, the bear and horse monster who were already going at it with political blabbering, the firey Heats Flamesman (and yes, he very much remembered that name. Hard to not after so many resets), and even a few from the hotel’s comedy club. Not that he ever liked going there in the first place, but he always made sure to make a pit stop during the more peaceful runs.

Then he felt a scuttering on his leaf. He looked down to find a tiny spider crawling on him, wearing an equally tiny party hat. Flowey shrieked and flung it away.

“Ahuhu! I apologize for my dearies. They’re just so excited to be part of this wonderful club.” Muffet descended down on an invisible thread from the ceiling, her many hands carrying her tea and pastries. Flowey looked to the floor where more of the spiders were dashing around. Ugh, he never liked these things…

“Wow! Howdy, everyone! And thanks again, Papyrus!” He said, a little overwhelmed. Okay, so he hadn’t really expected such a turnout. It had seemed like a lame thing that the equally as lame boneheads would make up. And besides, it’s not like Papyrus usually had any other friends to invite over, too. “I can’t believe so many came-“

The left wall suddenly crashed, followed by a square robot that went through the tear in the home that he had just made.

“OHHHHH YEEESSSSS! The fabulous and most talented Mettaton, here to spice up the Flowey Fan Club with his presence! All for you, darling!”

Flowey stared at the robot for a few seconds, blinking in deep confusion while the rest of the monster crowd cheered at the arrival of their most famous (and only) celebrity. He turned back to Papyrus.

“I can’t believe so many came by! And… for me!”

“NYEH HEH HEH! ALL BECAUSE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS. ONCE I TOLD THEM THAT THIS CLUB WAS FOR YOU, EVERYONE SAID THEY WOULD JOIN! WOWIE! I CAN’T WAIT FOR WHEN YOU ALL COME TO MY COSTUME PARTY NEXT WEEK!”

There were several mutters around the room here and there, which were all vague assertions at politely declining the invitation.

“AND WE JUST WANT TO REPAY YOU FOR ALL THE GOOD THAT YOU’VE DONE.”

“Yeah, punk!” Undyne leaped off the second floor to land heroically to ground. Alphys opted to take the stairs instead. “I thought you were just a wimpy weed, but you’re a plant that packs a punch… of friendship!” She grinned her slightly scary grin. It always made Flowey itch with a little worry. “Seeing you help out that kid really proved to me that you care about everyone, even for a weird freak of nature!”

“Yo! You’re really great!” Flowey swiveled his head to see said monster kid, as armless and clumsy as always. Kid nearly faceplanted into a swarm of those disgusting spiders. “That speech about how you know what it’s like to be me, but without both arms and your legs! It really inspired me! I can definitely still be a cool hero for all monsters!”

Yeah, Flowey had figured some worthless words like that would help the dumb kid. He had figured out the trick on his fourth run through the Underground. It had the benefit of pleasing both Undyne and this brat.

“M-me, too!” Alphys finally made it down, panting from that legwork down the stairs. “Admittedly, I-I was a bit worried… about…” She shook her head. “B-but never mind! Knowing you also agree about Mew Mew Kissy Cutie and that garbage of a sequel helped me feel less alone about my opinions!”

Also simple to figure out. The fact that the scientist was willing to ignore his possible origins for the sake of her stupid anime was laughable. Third run.

Undyne then wrapped an arm around Alphys, grinning like mad. “And setting us up, ha! That was the best date ever!!! I knew I could count on you to give Alphys my letter!”

“Y-yeah! That, too!”

Another easy, if somewhat drawn out task. He would never get rid of the memory of those roleplay sessions with Alphys out of his head. Sixth run.

“And thank you for playing with us!” spoke Dogamy from above.

“(And for petting us and giving us treats!)” spoke Dogarresa.

“Bark bark! Woof!” spoke both Greater and Lesser Dog.

“What? Where is everyone?” spoke Doggo.

Yeah, the dogs were way too easy to figure out their quirks. First run.

“Also thank you for helping us repair that orphanage!” One random monster shouted from the kitchen crowd. Who was that again? “It was so selfless and kind of you!”

Well, yeah. He had already burned down that orphanage more times than he could count. Eighth run.

“Ahuhuhu! And your business smarts got me to rake in all the dough in Hotland. I should just hire you as a salesman already.”

All Flowey had to do was threaten one monster to go into Muffet’s parlor and never leave, so that he was forced to buy and buy all the spider donuts he could never hope to finish in entirety. Also third run.

“Thank you for finding my child in time before someone used him in their skipping stone game! Truly a hero!”

Twelfth run.

“And for helping my Bun-Bun out of a tree. I would have never got him out myself.”

Ninth run.

“The political forum you devised for us so that we can have calm and concise debate instead of berating one another for our perceptions really helped us pave the way to truly figuring out the political future of the Underground.”

Ugh, the bear talked too much. And Flowey had just been winging that one. Eighteenth run.

“and also…thank you for helping me make more music… now I have an album coming out that people keep telling me they’re excited about…” The shy ghost nearly faded into the flower-patterned walls. “oh no… i’m getting emotional again…”

Not like it was hard. Second run.

“And like, thanks for getting us tickets to Mettaton’s concert. It was such a blast, right, Bratty?”

“Well, duh, Catty! Also the V.I.P passes you scored for us were super cool! You the best, babe!”

Fourteenth run.

“…Thanks for helping me get the burgers out of my pants that time. And the second time.”

What a loser. Thirteenth run.

“Sweet darling! Your innovative ideas for my cooking show has helped shoot up my ratings! The competition against terrible contestants and their terrible ideas gets the viewers’ attention while also making me look even more fabulous in comparison.”

Sure, whatever. Tenth run.

He then saw Grillby walk forward, just a few inches from the crowd. He stood there silently, only giving a nod of approval.

…Okay, this guy, Flowey admitted, had been a challenge. Twenty-sixth run.

“yo and thanks for finding one of my socks.”

“That took way too long!” Flowey snapped out suddenly. Sans made no reaction, though he saw Alphys flinch with worry. “But, um, you’re welcome there, buddy! Who knew it was just right on your bed the entire time! Where you were sleeping on…all while I was looking for it. For three weeks straight.” Flowey twitched. “I’m glad to have helped you.”

That run had been embarrassing and for something so stupid. He didn’t want to remember that run number.

“OH, ALSO! ALSO!” Papyrus jumped up and down, still holding onto the flowerpot. Flowey had to ward off the coming motion sickness. “WE DID SOMETHING ELSE, TOO!”

“Oh?”

Undyne was wearing that scary grin of hers again. “We also… all got fan club t-shirts, heck yeah!”

With that, nearly everyone ripped off their outer clothing (or… whatever else if they weren’t wearing anything) to showcase what they wore underneath. They were indeed fan club t-shirts; complete with a winking, smiling Flowey head, giving the V for victory sign with one of his leaves. The words FLOWEY FAN CLUB were printed on the shirt with some kind of obnoxious font.

Papyrus was in such a hurry to show off his own shirt that he nearly upended Flowey’s pot to take off his battle body costume. But he succeeded, showing his Flowey Fan Club ensemble – but with one minor difference.

“AS THE LEADER OF THE FAN CLUB, I GOT MY OWN SIGNATURE LAPEL!” He pointed to said lapel; again with the Flowey head, perched on his shirt like a treasured badge. It had been made rather well.

Again, there was so much going on at once. But Flowey took a breath and said some practiced words.

“Oh, gosh, you guys!” He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. “To think all of you care for me this much, to do all this! I couldn’t have asked for better friends!” He then faced Papyrus, the most idiotic of them all. “And thank you, Papyrus. I have to say, you starting this fan club for me is the kindest thing you have ever done for me! And I will never forget it!”

Cue the applause and the cheering. People loved cheesy stuff like that, and at least some of Alphys’ slice-of-life animes helped him form the core of his own lame-as-hell friendship speech.

Papyrus grinned, and then said, “ACTUALLY IT WAS ALL SANS’ IDEA!”

Flowey froze. “What.”

“I KNOW! I WAS SURPRISED, TOO! BUT SANS CAN TRULY COME UP WITH SUCH INNOVATIVE PLANS WHEN HE PUTS HIS MIND TO IT! HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANY OF THE WORK WITH THE ARRANGEMENTS, INVITATIONS OR ANYTHING, BUT HE DID GIVE ME THE INSPIRATION TO DO ALL THAT!”

“heh, yeah, after all,” sans said, pulling open his jacket to reveal the Flowey-printed t-shirt that everyone else sported, complete with the FLOWEY FAN CLUB lettering. “i’m a huge flowey fan.”

At that, Flowey had nothing to say. Sans’ face still had that same stupid grin. The shirt was already stained with ketchup and other foodstuff, but Flowey couldn’t even think up insults to himself.

Luckily, no one seemed to notice his speechlessness. Everyone was already moving on, setting up the games, the music, the food, and all sorts of entertainment. Grillby was using the kitchen to set up as his own bar, while Napstablook, Mettaton, and the timid Shyren were quickly arranging a stage to do a little music show for the teeming masses crowded in the skeletons’ home. Undyne was making due with the games part, going to the dining room table and challenging anyone to beat her at arm-wrestling.

Flowey barely noticed any of that. Sans had long gone back to sleep on the couch, yet the uneasiness remained.

The flower tried to ignore that. He looked around, noting so much motion and color, all of it accompanied by the loud commentary of Papyrus. Everyone was here for him. They, and Papyrus, and apparently even Sans, went to all this trouble to make him feel accepted.

…But he didn’t feel anything.

Anything at all.

All their praises for him felt like nothing.

As he thought on this, Papyrus continued to haul him around in his flowerpot, bringing him to each and every monster, just so they could tell him again about the great deeds he did.

“FLOWERY. YOU ARE INDEED A WONDERFUL PERSON.”

Flowey stared.

He thought back to the last run, where he had broken off each and every rib of Papyrus’ one by one, until he finally disintegrated into dust.

He thought back to Undyne, done in by her own determination, denying her own death as he strangled her.

He thought back to Alphys, cowering in a corner of her lab, crying as the amalgamates deteriorated to puddles of goop and dust, and then screaming as he lumbered towards her with laughter.

He thought back to chasing that monster kid down in Waterfall, before finally making him fall off the bridge onto the sharp rocks below.

He thought back to Grillby, killing all of his patrons before his eyes, before taking a glass of water and throwing it at the bartender’s face, literally snuffing him out.

He thought back to the dogs, hearing them whimper as he took out each of the Royal Guard in the snows.

He thought about all of that.

And still, he felt nothing.

But that’s how it always is though, isn’t it?

“Darlings and gentledarlings! Do I hear an encore? For the eighth time this night!?”

Cheers erupted from every part of the home, even from the webs where all the spiders had quickly woven, their tiny bodies already dancing to the beat. Napstablook played the record, Shyren hummed a tune, and Mettaton glided about the hastily crafted stage, which took the spot of the television set, to everyone’s awe. Everyone’s except Flowey’s.

This fan club had long overstayed its welcome.

The problem with being in the house was that Flowey couldn’t just retreat back into the ground like when he was outside. The pot he was residing in severely limited him. That and Papyrus had not once set him down, where he could have at least maybe hopped over to a window. But no. The skeleton insisted on carrying him around, bringing him to each monster repeatedly, including his brother who still had not left his spot from the couch.

“ARE YOU ENJOYING THE FESTIVITIES?” Papyrus asked his friend.

Flowey once again smiled wide. “Oh, Papyrus, it’s amazing! I’ve never seen so many monsters in one spot!” The noise was killing him. Nothing sounded so nice as the suffocating, dark silence that was the ground beneath him.

“I HOPE YOU ALSO ENJOY THE PRIZES WE’VE ARRANGED FOR LUCKY CLUB MEMBERS TO WIN FOR. IN A DARING GAME OF FLOWERY FAN CLUB PUZZLES. I MADE THEM MYSELF!”

That piqued his curiosity, if not his long-gone happiness. “Prizes? That sounds so exciting! Like a free stay at the hotel?” Where the service sucks, the food was abysmal, and their comedy club’s jokes were so last year.

“it’s the merch.” Sans decided to intervene, body still sprawled and looking close to dead. (Well. Not surprising). “thinking about hosting up a flowey convention at some point to sell off the rest. gonna need you as a guest panelist. you know, for marketing.”

“YES. AS A FAN CLUB, WE HAVE TO SELL OUR FLOWERY MERCHANDISE TO ALL OF THE UNDERGROUND!”

“It’s Flow- wait, what do you mean?”

At that, Sans decided to finally rise from his slumber, already standing next to Papyrus suddenly. “gotta make some profit to at least break even from all the stuff we did today. good (heh) food, bad laughs, and nice friends don’t come cheap.”

Again, Flowey felt a little slow in catching up. “Profit?”

Sans nodded. “gotta give the people what they want. and that includes some good ol’ third quality merch. some mugs, some more t-shirts, some socks (those are my favorite), some plushies, some posters, and, oh yeah, some pillows, too. those are going to be our best-selling.” He winked. “guaranteed.”

Pillows didn’t sound that bad, but then he remembered he was talking to Sans. “What kind of pillows?”

“OH! OH! LET ME SHOW HIM, SANS. PLEASE?”

Sans made a shrugging motion. “sure.”

With that, Papyrus went to a conveniently nearby closet, still holding onto the flowerpot, and started to rummage through it. He took out what looked like a hefty and fluffy object in his free hand. “THESE BODY PILLOWS WERE DESIGNED BY DR. ALPHYS. NOW YOU TOO CAN RIDE MY RACECAR BED! IN MY DREAMS!”

And there was Flowey, printed on said body pillow, all smiling and posed, and proportions all whacked. He couldn’t exactly ignore it. It was pressed right against his face, making him see himself in too much detail. The colors were stupidly bright, the expression downright weird. Flowey felt very… he felt…

“No,” he said reflexively.

Papyrus looked a bit confused at the answer, so sudden, the tone so very low. “NO TO WHAT? I DO THINK DR. ALPHYS PUT A LITTLE TOO MANY CURVES ON YOU, BUT SHE DID INDEED TRY HER BEST!”

Flowey wanted to tell him that he didn’t care if that loser scientist did her best. After all, her best got all those abominations running around her lab. Her best denied those suffering even the peace of death. Her best got him to where he was today. Her best ruined everything he could have-

“Pin the tail on the Flowey!” Someone shouted, breaking Flowey from his thoughts. “Pin the tail on the Flowey! Woo!”

Movement was too much for him again. Papyrus seemed to forget about the current conversation, instead bringing Flowey to a gathering crowd that was by the left side of the wall, just a few feet away from the hole Mettaton had created earlier. Everyone ignored the snowy draft from outside, instead clapping and cheering when Flowey was seen again.

Papyrus, with his cherished flower friend, stood in the middle of the crowd. Someone shoved something in Flowey’s grip, something sharp, nearly pricking straight through the leaf.

“go on.” There was Sans, looking entirely much too pleased with everything. That grin filled Flowey’s vision. “pin the tail on the flowey.”

“Uh, what.” Flowey looked at said pin in his leafy hands. Sans gestured ahead at the wall. Flowey turned to see a poster of himself, winking and smiling and way, way too happy at shoving the lower part of his stem at the viewer. The hell?! The tell-tale array of sparkles and way too much lens flare gave him a hint as to who designed this poster, just like that travesty of a pillow. “I don’t have a tail. I don’t even have a butt!”

Sans not so surprisingly chuckled at the words. “heh, butt. don’t worry though. it’s all in good fun. now come on, the good folks are waiting.”

Flowey slowly turned to the crowd around him and Papyrus, all of them grinning and laughing. The pin felt so wrong in his hand. Were they… were they mocking him?

“Come on! Don’t be a wuss!” Undyne’s fists were clenched as she stood by the side, looking quite eager to rip away the pin from Flowey so she could do it herself.

“Darling! The show must go on!” Mettaton swerved around on the floor, keeping his microphone close to his speaker unit. The music (which sounded very much like one of those spook tunes) from his concert continued to play in the background. “And you can’t disappoint all of your adoring fans!”

“Yo! You gotta do it!” The monster kid really did faceplant this time in his excitement. Flowey hoped that it hurt.

“Like, that picture of you is soooo cute!” Catty pawed at it, specifically at the… behind. “I just wanna pinch its cheeks!”

“Wow, like, which one do you mean, Catty?” Bratty laughed, her fangs glinting from the party lights. Catty cackled along with her. Flowey winced. How he always hated how they laughed.

“P-pin the tail, Flowey. I, um, I t-tried to make the pose obvious as to where you should p-pin it!”

“Woof! Do it, hurry! (Crush that poster, woof!)”

“; ) Need to do a little flexing competition to warm up, Flowey? ; )”

“YES, PLEASE! PIN THE TAIL ON YOURSELF, FLOWERY!” Papyrus shouted from behind him. The decibel level on those non-existent vocal chords was too much. Flowey winced, but could find no reprieve from it. “IT IS PART OF THE PARTY TRADITION.”

“My name…” he whispered. “…Is Flowey.”

No one could hear him. They were all shouting like-

“DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE? I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET YOU TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL.” Again, he shoved Flowey way too close at the stupidly drawn image of himself, which had way too big eyes. “YOU CAN DO IT. I BELIEVE IN YOU!”

He had enough of this.

“I don’t need your help, you idiot!”

Flowey threw the pin to the ground, but not before a gargantuan vine shot forth from the small soil of his flowerpot. The appendage extended forward towards that poster, wrecking it and the wall behind it to pieces.

The music stopped on a record-scratch. Everyone was silent.

And then that was followed by instant cheering.

“YEAH!! You showed that poster who’s boss!” Undyne was so pumped, she was ready to suplex her girlfriend right there, who was crying at the loss of her work of art.

“WOWIE! I DIDN’T KNOW MY WORDS OF FIERY INSPIRATION WOULD HELP SO MUCH! PERHAPS I SHOULD HOLD BACK JUST A BIT? STILL, I AM PROUD OF YOU!”

Flowey looked at everyone, at all of their smiling, laughing, and stupid, stupid faces. He looked everywhere, and suddenly noticed something was missing. That smiley trashbag was gone.

Good.

Flowey no longer held back. This run was over. That single vine was soon joined by many, all of them writhing out of the pot until the sheer amount of them, along with their strength, broke the frail pottery. Like giant serpents, those vines curled and wrapped around many monsters who were caught off guard. The rest either went screaming into the Mettaton-made hole, started running around in circles, or, like Undyne and the Royal Guard, were getting ready to fight, suddenly realizing that this happy, bundle-of-joy flower was a threat.

Flowey took one moment to look behind him. No longer was someone holding him, now fully supported from his own vines, which some he latched onto the ceiling and railings so that he could look down on the screaming crowd. He saw no sign of Papyrus – nothing but a pile of dust in the middle of the floor. In his outrage, his vines must have struck the skeleton, killing him instantly.

Flowey’s smile became a nightmare.

“You idiots!” He laughed and laughed, uprooting the house’s foundations, and smacking away at fleeing spiders with precision. “Now we’ll play -my- game!”

He still felt nothing, even after it was all over.

RESET.

Before he would meet up with Sans, Flowey trudged through Snowdin, into the more solitary areas of the snowbanks. He found the obnoxious Snowdrake with little effort, the monster already searching desperately for an audience. It came up to Flowey with no thought as to the other’s privacy.

“Hey!” Flowey shouted. “Get out of the way! I’m in a hurry!”

Snowdrake just said, “H… hey… uh… putting that ‘petal’ to the metal then, huh?” He weakly laughed. The wind blew harshly.

Flowey felt the ground rumble beneath him. That comedian.

He was already deep in this run, but he had so little patience.

Flowey immediately noted that this fan club meeting/party/waste of space was already missing a few key attendees. Snowdrake and his family were out of the picture, along with the bunny monster and her leashed brother, the rocks from two doors over, and even most of the dogs. There was only Lesser Dog, looking left and right with high-pitched whines.

“UNDYNE WAS GOING TO COME,” Papyrus said, as if reading the flower’s mind. “BUT SHE HAD HEAD OF ROYAL GUARD DUTIES TO ATTEND TO. SOMETHING ABOUT MISSING THINGS???”

“think she means missing people.” Sans blinked slowly. “just a few of ‘em vanished within the past few days. pretty weird.”

“Oh gosh!” Flowey said with clear concern. “I hope they’re okay! Let’s all go look for them together then! After this party you all worked so hard to arrange, of course!”

“eh, i’m good.” Sans shrugged. “you go on ahead.”

Flowey was tempted to end the run then and there. But he went through with the whole fiasco. No Undyne also meant no Alphys, which meant no gross body pillow or poster. Just some bad food, stupid laughs, and idiotic friends. He even made sure to thank each and every one of them once the fan club’s party was winding down to a close.

“Thank you all so much!” he said, noting the cheer and gratitude in all of the monsters’ faces, especially Papyrus’. He then noticed that Sans was gone. Again.

Yet when he killed them all, he still felt nothing.

RESET.

“WE HAD PLANS TO SELL ALL SORTS OF FLOWERY PLUSHIES AND POSTERS AND OTHER COLLECTIBLE MEMORABILIA. BUT… DR. ALPHYS HAS NOT BEEN RETURNING MY CALLS.”

“weird,” Sans interjected. “did you text her, too?”

“OF COURSE I DID, BROTHER! I ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO DO BOTH, EVERY HOUR, ON THE HOUR. I TIME THAT SPECIFICALLY! YET STILL I GOT NO RESPONSE. UNDYNE SAID SHE WOULD TRY TO FIND HER THOUGH.”

Flowey said nothing, didn’t feel like saying anything. He had made sure to pay the so-called ‘doctor’ twice over for her fanmade Flowey creations. It was only fair.

Sans had left again before the party’s end. Flowey hadn’t noticed until the dust finally settled, Papyrus’ stupid smile still in his head.

RESET.

He didn’t always win though. He decided to let himself lose a few times – it was the only way that he could make sure that he did everything.

“I won’t let you hurt anyone here!” Undyne had shouted. Papyrus had tried his best to plead with both of his friends, but Undyne ignored him while Flowey just pushed him to the side. Flowey, at least, always had be on top of his game when facing her. He saw the opening to stab her in the gut, but instead waited for her spears to slice him to pieces. She couldn’t encase his soul – didn’t have one, after all – but her speed and strength was more than enough.

Smiley Trashbag was still nowhere to be found. But Papyrus was here.

Undyne ended him quickly. At least he could count on that stupid fish face for something.

RESET.

And other times, he would kill her. He would watch her melt into nothing, done in by her own determination.

Sans was still missing.

And Papyrus was usually dead before then.

RESET.

At the next gathering of the Flowey Fan Club, no music played. He only needed to get rid of one of the performers anyway to achieve that.

Still no posters.

Still no barking.

Still no Sans.

Just Papyrus and his dust.

RESET.

He didn’t feel like dealing with gross spiders later on. He’d rather endure more of Papyrus’ spaghetti than crawly-crawl donuts.

More importantly, his devoted fans were shrinking, he realized.

Good.

RESET.

He interrupted his usual strategies to do a little eavesdropping, early on in this timeline. He found Papyrus recalibrating his puzzles, while Sans laid on a snow poff.

“DO YOU THINK FLOWERY WOULD LIKE THE NEW PUZZLE I MADE? I MADE SURE TO COLOR-COORDINATE IT TO HIS PETALS.”

Flowey sighed. It’s Flow-

“thought it was flowey. also, bro, you’ve been talking non-stop about him for weeks. what are you, the head of his fan club?” He winked.

Flowey saw the gears in Papyrus’ skull work. “OH MY GOD, SANS! YOU ARE RIGHT! I SHOULD BE THE HEAD OF HIS FAN CLUB.”

“hey, cool.”

Flowey didn’t feel like dealing with this run anymore.

RESET.

“HELLO!” Papyrus waved erratically. One haphazard streamer and a plate of overheated spaghetti fell out of his arms to make a mess on the floor. There was just one banner, the writing a bit disjointed, its misspelling making The Librarby look like a masterpiece, simply saying FLOREY FUN CLAP.

Flowey had gone to the house by himself, his stem still immersed in the snows. Sans was nowhere to be found.

He knew that no one else would come to the fan club.

“WELCOME TO THE FLOWEY FAN CLUB! I HAVE NOT HAD TIME TO FINISH MY DECORATIONS! PEOPLE WHO WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP KEPT DISAPPEARING! AND UNDYNE, DR. ALPHYS, THAT ADORABLE MOUSE…” Papyrus paused. “I AM SURE THEY WILL COME WHEN THEY CAN. IN THE MEANTIME, WELCOME!”

It all looked so pathetic.

“Why did you let your brother put such a stupid idea in your head?”

It was one of the few times, he thought in amusement, that he could render the skeleton speechless. At least for a moment.

“OH!! DID SANS TELL YOU? HE’S USUALLY SO GOOD AT KEEPING SECRETS! HE NEVER TELLS ANYBODY ANYTHING. EVEN ME!” A pause. “HAVE YOU SEEN MY BROTHER?”

Vines unearthed from the ground, their surfaces draped in snow.

“Who cares about that smiley trashbag!?”

Each time, he hoped for something different whenever he killed Papyrus. And not just letting his skull live for a moment longer. He expected to feel something different.

Of course, nothing.

Flowey waited by the open door of the brothers’ home before Sans finally showed up. He walked slowly, as if ready to fall asleep right there. Eye sockets peered at the flower, at the wreckage of the home, done because of Flowey’s boredom. And, Flowey was sure, that gaze peered at the dust, already pulled in by the wind.

Sans turned around, and started walking away.

“No!” Flowey snaked out his stem, his makeshift teeth curled into fangs, his mouth agape with darkness. “You’re not leaving this time!”

“ok.” Sans stopped, hands in his coat pockets. He slightly angled his skull to peer up at the serpentine flower.

“You always leave, you always leave!” Flowey raged at the monster, vines encircling the bonehead, ready to pluck out his spine and all its ligaments in pain-staking patience. “What is wrong with you?! You keep leaving! You keep letting your brother die!”

Sans continued to smile that blank, tight smile.

“I’m not waiting until the end! I’m not gonna go through New Home just for you to finally do something! I’m here right now! And everyone’s already dead anyway! Do you enjoy this?! Are you some kind of sick freak!?”

Sans shifted a damp slipper through the snow. “huh.”

“You stupid smiley trashbag! Hurry up and-!”

A prison of bones encased him suddenly. One of the jagged things pierced his stem, where his neck would have been, had he been made of fur and tears instead of petals and hollowness.

He could barely see Sans through his blurring vision. “E n o u g h.”

A quick motion. Flowey was brought back to the ground. His being – if not his soul – shattered.

That was the last time he could ever RESET.

Flowey hated how familiar the human was – in actions and in clothing choices.

“So you’re here again,” he said with a scoff. “What’s wrong with you?”

Then, a memory. Flowey chuckled, looking back to that dumb, blank face. “Are you trying to start the Flowey Fan Club?”

With its good food, bad laughs, and nice friends. Ha. What a joke. He laughed that bad laugh, but it did nothing to lift up his mood.

“You’ll have to talk to Papyrus. Yeah, he started one.” Flowey had no muscles, just imitations of anything that was once alive. When he transformed his expressions, it was as easy as scribbling a crayon on construction paper. Very little work involved. Yet, he could feel it – something that pulled his face into worry. “A few different times, anyway. Took me a long time to get bored of that one.”

What were they doing here to begin with? Should he warn the human about Smiley Trashbag? Should he tell them that Papyrus would always, always believe in him, even as half his body disintegrated?

...Nah, that wasn’t fun.

He went back to full on smiling. “Talk to him about it.”

Flowey left.

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