#urdamage leaf

[ianfm]

who are the five most important people to ian right now? why? and do you think they know they're the most important to him?

There's a lot of people that are important in Ian's life but to narrow it down to five would be:

Bo Turner ( @urdamage ) goes without saying. The man is Ian's fiancé and Ian's very first and longest best friend. Bo just gets Ian in a way that other people have never been able to and the love that Bo shows to him on a seemingly hourly basis is unmatched to anything Ian has ever experienced. Due to everything the couple has been through and their present status Ian is sure that Bo knows how important he is to him and if he didn't Ian would be quick to show his appreciation.

Finn Dunne ( @highfears ) is another one of Ian's best friends. The two have been close since high school and he is someone who also balances Ian out in their own different way. It's true that Ian is drawn to opposites of him and Finn is certainly a different breed of person than Ian. Ian knows that Finn is someone he can turn to and often ask for advice about things and is sure that Finn knows that he's important in Ian's life. After all Ian has been asked to be Finn's best man in his wedding and that's a status that isn't just handed out to anyone.

Dolly Jensen ( @finaldarlings ) was Ian's first love and while he no longer has romantic feelings for her there is still a platonic love that he feels towards her. She's always been a caring and loving force in Ian's life and he knows that his life is made better with her in it. Ian opened up to her about a lot in the past and that is another person Ian knows he can talk to who might not offer him advice but the care that he might be seeking. Ian is sure that Dolly knows that she's important to Ian because she was one of the first to show up for him when he was at the hospital and Ian was also quick to be at her aid when she came in contact with the killers herself.

Leaf Wozniak and Ian have a complicated past. They briefly had a romantic relationship that was prematurely cut short and left Ian thinking quite a few "what if's" towards them. They've moved past those complicated feelings now and Ian considers Leaf to be one of his closest friends. Leaf has always followed the beat of their own drum and Ian is quite impressed by that when it comes to Leaf. Leaf has a large heart and is someone who Ian can depend upon and has always accepted him with open arms if needed. Ian isn't sure if Leaf knows just how important they are to him but he hopes that through their continued friendship that they see it.

Romy Davis ( @fearsless ) has been a big part of Ian's life since high school. Being accepted into Romy's D&D group back as a freshmen was one of the first times Ian really felt accepted by a group and found people like himself to really relate to. Romy has helped orchestrate a lot of very fun times in Ian's life and is one of the most creative and cool people Ian knows. Even though the D&D group hardly meets up anymore Ian is still fortunate to have his friendship with Romy. Ian thinks that Romy knows that they're important in Ian's life because Ian had sought out their help in his proposal to Bo and only the closest to him were involved in something so important though their continued friendship into adulthood is also an obvious indicator.

[finclxgirl]

evie never made promises she couldn’t keep. all her interactions were genuine. her promises were never made without thought behind them. promises meant a lot to her. and she was glad she could give someone comfort with it. seeing people smile made her genuinely happy. she had a sixth sense of sorts. she could sense people’s emotions. tell when someone was truly happy. she could tell leaf was truly happy at this moment. she hopes that she was at least some part of it. she stood knee deep in the lake and watched as leaf joined her. as they splashed in she shielded herself, before splashing water back in their direction. “so when’s the last time you’ve done this?” she asked with a laugh.

" thank you , " leaf smiled sincerely . the promise to be there for days spent at the lake might not have sounded like an extremely sentimental or grand promise , but it did mean a lot to leaf . particularly ever since he experienced such a traumatic near death experience at the hands of the shrike killers , any promise , big or small , held so much weight ; it was no difference here , with evie . " i couldn't agree more , " leaf told her with a grin - talking about making the most of the day , not agreeing that every day was a perfect day . leaf had been through far too much to ever believe in that , no matter how bubbly and positive they still were regardless . they copied her actions , pulling their shirt over their head and dismissing it on the ground before enthusiastically running behind her , into the cool water . as the water splashed up around his legs , he let out a happy laugh ; he had missed these moments , these days .

[deadcralive]

Leaf & Holly Loc: LaPaws

"Welcome to LaPaws, how can I help--" Holly glanced up from rearranging a display of leashes, locking eyes with a familiar face rather than a strange customer.

"Oh. Hello, Leaf." Holly straightened and tucked a stray curl behind her ear, suddenly feeling the need to shift her weight from foot to foot. It wasn't that she wasn't often confronted with the reality of proximity to her old home on the commune-- she was, that was inevitable in a place like Shrike Heights-- but she rarely had to speak directly with members anymore. She made it a point to stay out of their way, lest the guilt start to fall too heavily on her ribcage for what she walked away from. Of course, that didn't always mean that they stayed out of hers. "Can I help you find something?"

@urdamage

[horrorbxby]

closed  starter  ;  ft.  orwell  washington  +  leaf  wozniak.

location  ;  the commune.

@urdamage​

orwell  paced  the  greenhouse,�� carefully  checking  the  plants  for  anything  that  may  cause  concern,  whether  it  be  parasites,  too  much  moisture,  not  enough  heat,  etc.  they  were  impressed  with  the  current  growth,  but  at  the  same  time  disappointed  that  there  were  no  problems  to  solve.  everything  had  seemed  to  be  going  wrong  for  them  lately,  outside  of  work  at  showtime  and  with  leafwell.  they  felt  that  it  was  only  a  matter  of  time  before  it  was  them  in  the  hands  of  the  killers  of  shrike  heights.  and  they  also  felt  that  they’d  never  get  the  chance  to  experience  the  world,  or  even  something  as  simple  as  real  romantic  love  before  it  happened.  they  felt  rather  sorry  for  themself  –  and  leaf  was  the  only  person  they  felt  safe  confiding  in,  knowing  that  bo  and  ian  had  their  own  issues  to  deal  with.  the  last  thing  they  wanted  to  do  was  make  it  about  themself  when  they  were  concerned.  “ i  keep  trying  to  throw  myself  into  work  so  that  i  can  keep  my  mind  busy.  i  think  i’m  a  lot  sadder  than  i  want  to  admit.  i  don’t  know  if  i’m  ready  to  feel  it  all,  you  know ?  i  get  scared  about  that.  it  makes  me  think  about  all  the  emotions  i  felt  when  i  was  bouncing  around  from  place  to  place,  not  knowing  how  to  deal  with  any  of  it.  does  that  make  any  sense ? ”  she  asked,  turning  to  face  him,  “ like,  i’m  not  sure  if  i  would  know  how  to  deal  with  any  of  it  now.  no-one  really  taught  me  how.  i  don’t  even  really  know  how  to  process  my  emotions  surrounding  her  leaving,  before i  even  really  had  the  chance to…  i  don’t  know.  confess  my  feelings  or  whatever.  how  on  earth  do  you  do  it ? ”

[takemecn]

closed for @urdamage​‘s leaf wozniak.

“oh hey, leaf!” he summoned the other as they were on their way out of the store. dustin hadn’t even realised they had come back from their deliveries, but he was glad to catch them before they left. “can you come here for a second? i just have a couple of questions.” he was relatively straight to the point, not having much time to sugar coat anything as they were delicately working on sealing letters with wax. being too preoccupied for sugar coating meant that dustin was definitely too preoccupied to realize he wasn’t being as gentle as he might have been otherwise; it was only when he finished sealing the letter he was working on and when he saw leaf’s expression that he realized he must have caused a worry. “it’s nothing too bad, i promise.” he felt the need to specify, knowing that the two of them had a past of bickering and struggling through their differing opinions.

[bitcme]

POSEY & LEAF

Closed starter for @urdamage​, located just outside of the commune.

Posey lays down on the soft grass, pushing their hair back out of their eyes as they follow the gaze of the other laying next to them, looking up to the bright, sunny sky. They exhale a loud breath. They’re in no rush to speak, no rush to engage or pull the other out of the thoughtful look they give the sky as they lay in the field unmoving and silent. They understand Leaf well enough to know the mood they’ve found them in and the reasoning behind why they’re laying stationary some way away from the commune’s usual residence; they worry for Leaf, but they don’t push them by hurrying into the conversation that will inevitably be tough. Everything’s tough right now, the least Posey can do is give them both a moment to just lay there, breathing slowly, soaking in the sunlight and breathing in the scent of the wildflowers around them. 

They don’t keep track of the time as they lay with the other, but eventually they turn their head to look at them. “You’re not doing too well.” It’s not a question, but a statement; they’d be stupid to ask if Leaf was alright, knowing how much they’ve been through in the past year. “What’s brought you out here today?” Their tone of voice is gentle. Posey doesn’t want to be intrusive, they only wish to be there for Leaf, wanting to act as the support that they know is so sparse in Leaf’s life currently. “What’s on your mind?”

[maullworkers]

status closed starter @urdamage​​​​​​ location the commune

he wasn’t sure why he had done it. to prove something to himself, maybe? hopefully? if that was the right thing to hope for at all... his injuries hadn’t even fully healed, yet there he had stood, in the very building that he had almost lost his life. it wasn’t the first place he had almost died at the hands of the killers, however, so maybe that didn’t pack the punch he had wanted it to. sober and more clear minded now, all florian could feel was unease. why had he done it, why had he gone back there? it was a thought he could hardly stomach now that the effects of the last of his stash had worn off. he was so stupid, for pushing himself like that, for thinking something good might come of it, for thinking he had to prove to himself that going back there wouldn’t result in the exact same thing that had happened the last time he had become brave enough to head back to the hustle and bustle of shrike mall... 

he had felt good at the time, but that was only the drugs. it certainly didn’t feel worth it in the aftermath as he felt such dread over the simplest things such as messing with a radioshack worker and batting his eyelashes at ice scream enough times to get himself extra free samples. he cried so terribly hard all the way to his destination. he had been foolish, thinking pot would both get him through the interaction and help with the aftermath, and the foolishness was an intense feeling that only worsened his already troublesome mix of nasty and negative emotions. he knew leaf wasn’t having an easier time than he was right now, but he knew leaf was one of the only people that he trusted with his vulnerability and his emotions like this. he knocked on the side of the van, though the back doors were wide open - presumably to help with the heat - and once he had warned the occupant of his presence he didn’t wait for a response before he was stepping into the back of the vehicle, not at all hiding his tears because he honestly just couldn’t. “leaf, i did something so stupid.” he explained through a cry.

[ofkingsnqueens]

starter for leaf wozniak ( @urdamage​ )

he had done a little bit of extra work during the night. just enough to get him through the week, and still be able to get himself some nice meal that wasn’t mcdonald’s this week. the pay at the shop wasn’t bad, but it didn’t suffice for river’s expensive taste of beer, and fish and chips he was craving that week. “i’m taking ten,” he yelled to his coworker, who wanted to say something back, but river was far gone to the back alley of the mall, where he pulled a pre-rolled joint and put it between his lips. after a little bit of searching, river pulled out his lighter, and took a long first drag, only then realizing he was not alone in the alley. “it’s been a long day, yeah?” he asked, hoping for some sympathy, despite it being just a few minutes after noon. he smiled, and held out the joint. “want some?”

[everandevermcre]

      good with faces and greeting them in a way that felt  familiar  no matter how long it had been, kimo approaches leaf, two years their younger in high school, someone kimo would always nod to or greet, never one to pretend someone they clearly knew was just a stranger passing by, even if some people preferred that. kimo's on their way to the food court when they see leaf outside of cupid’s. ‘  hey, i’m going to get some fries. you want anything?  ’  //  @urdamage​

[ianfm]

IanFM: Out of Context pt. 2

A collection of references from threads. Pt. 1

Featuring (in order): Dustin Waerea ( @takemecn ), Patrick Webb ( @bitcme ), Arne Berman ( @highfears ), Viola Lancaster, ( @viola--lancaster ), Orwell Washington ( @horrorbxby ), Leaf Wozniak ( @urdamage )/ Kit Sombun ( @shrieks ), Romy Davis ( @fearsless ), Dolly Jensen ( @finaldarlings ), & PJ Bolton ( @rufficns ). 

Part 6 of 13 Days of Halloween Part 5

[ianfm]

closed starter for Leaf Wozniak ( @urdamage​ ) location: Turner-Vogt bedroom

It was hard to wake up in the morning most days. Ian hurt and he’d been going on weeks now where he just felt like anything he did made him ache. He found himself in a sour mood more often than not any extra inconvenience in his day could be the last straw and it was extremely tiring to feel so fragile. The plan Bo told him for the day made any shot at a getting through the day without heartbreak impossible. All morning as Bo got Ian ready for the day and for his friend to arrive Ian found himself protesting against this turn in events. The mall was the last place he thought anyone should be right now but especially not his partner. At one point Ian found himself offering to drive Bo to the mall a task he wasn’t cleared to do due to multiple of his injuries and medications. His stomach had been in knots and he’d nearly missed taking his pills all together when he needed having distracted Bo with his tears.

Once Bo had calmed Ian down he fell quiet unable to speak until he heard the knock at the door. “Tell Leaf you changed your mind. Send them home,” Ian pleaded with his partner one last time. Leaf had seen him at some very low points in his recovery already so embarrassment over the emotions he’d gone through that morning didn’t cross his mind as he watched his partner get up from their bed. Ian had to look at the ceiling just to keep himself from crying. It was really hard feeling so out of control and times like this he felt like Bo just wasn’t listening to him.

[ianfm]

𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚊𝚛 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚢𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑 𝚆𝚎'𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚎 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚊 𝚋��𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚢 𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎, 𝚠𝚎'𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝙸𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚝.

A moodboard for Ian Vogt & Leaf Wozniak ( @urdamage )

[ianfm]

urdamage​:

               leaf shook his head . ian didn’t need to thank him for anything , he was only speaking from the heart ( the only way leaf knew how to communicate ) and doing what he should do as a good friend ; it didn’t inconvenience him , the real inconvenience would be if ian got in such a bad shape that he couldn’t come back from . “ alright , they might not all be about you , but they all include you . ” he countered with a laugh . it was sweet , hearing that ian wished bo and orwell’s creativity could get more recognition , though leaf was personally content with the status of movies already . “ i’d be worried putting more hands on their projects would ruin the natural magic they have together , though . i think oo productions is meant for the eyes of trusted shrike heights residents but no others . ” bo and orwell weren’t fit for fame , and leaf had been misunderstood so badly throughout his life that he could already sympathise for the two filmmakers in the hypothetical situation that their puppet movies weren’t received well or understood . it was kind , hearing ian reassure him that he would find somebody , though it was a sensitive subject for leaf to think about . he hadn’t grown up with his soulmate like ian had , he wasn’t lucky enough to have had such a strong connection with somebody , and honestly it was in situations like this that his insecurities and all of the things he was made fun of in school came to mind ; he didn’t think he would be meeting the one any time soon . he couldn’t respond , just giving ian a smile to finish it .

“ she’s still the exact same , ” he laughed , thinking about his mom who was far more eccentric than he was . it was nice that he had never once felt judgement from ian for his family , nice that he felt comfortable bringing him home - unlike other friends he had had . “ she hasn’t even stepped foot in the mall before , and has no plans to , so she isn’t at all changed . ” he gave a shrug , thinking about how much he wanted to share about his mom at a time like this . “ but she doesn’t like me working . ” he finished . his mom influenced the biggest parts of his lives , but she still always trusted leaf to be independent and to make his own choices ; she didn’t like him working somewhere so unnatural like the mall , and didn’t like him being around where the attacks happened , but she still sat down in the back of his van every night when he returned home so she could be filled in on the gossip he learnt throughout the day .

it broke leaf’s heart to hear ian asking them for a hug . it wouldn’t be the first time leaf had ian in the back of his van with intentions of making him feel good - be that physically , emotionally , or both - but he hadn’t expected there to be any physicality this time . he hadn’t ruled out things like hugging him , kissing his head or rubbing his back soothingly , but he just hadn’t known that ian was so depleted of everything , and he hadn’t known that bo was struggling so badly to the point where he couldn’t even help ian meet all of those physical needs . he should have known , though , and found himself feeling guilty that he didn’t . “ always , ” he nodded his head , scooting closer to ian . “ always , ian . ” he wrapped his arms around him , pulling him in close and making him somewhat small as an attempt to cover him with comfort , encouraging his face to find his shoulder with the hand that found its way into his long , dark hair . “ you can get as many as you need , you don’t have to explain anything right now . ” his voice was quiet and soothing , his arms holding him tight , their bodies rocking side to side only the slightest bit . he was prepared to hold his friend for as long as he needed it , the younger male not once budging to move away from the affection as he left it to ian’s discretion to call those shots . “ it’s okay ian . ” he whispered , truly wanting ian to know that he was supported right now .

An eye roll was all Ian could muster as a rebuttal. That much Ian couldn’t deny. Even he saw when his influence was deliberately showcased aspects of himself. It flattered him in ways that left him speechless even when he wasn’t talking with Bo about it. Besides it wasn’t as if Leaf hadn’t played a few cameos in their stories. Still it felt almost more embarrassing having Leaf point it out. Ian didn’t feel worthy of being Bo’s muse even if he knew he was. “Yeah I feel that too but I don’t know. Maybe if it wound up in the hands of Jim Henson it wouldn’t be too bad,” he guessed though he didn’t like thinking about that thought. It’d be tough losing Bo to that sort of fame and limelight. He liked Orwell and Bo being big fish in the little film community in Shrike Heights. He could handle Bo’s seemingly smalltown celebrity status (at least in Ian’s eyes). 

Ian smiled hearing Leaf’s mom was unchanged. He didn’t know her well (it would’ve been painful to get too close) but he liked knowing she was still the same woman Ian grew up around in his teen years. She wasn’t perfect.... but Ian was more than a little envious of the relationship Leaf retained with their mother. Ian gave up humoring the idea of ever searching for his own mom long ago. She knew where to find him and the older he got the less likely it felt she planned to make an effort either. “How do you feel about it?” Ian asked Leaf kinda already feeling out Leaf’s answer. “I mean you could always work for the post office too. I wouldn’t go snooping through those notes though,” he teased them a little. Ian definitely didn’t feel Leaf was trapped working at the mall like Ian was. He’d worked at the arcade for forever and couldn’t exactly leave that job even if he tried. 

Talk about work didn’t last long though. The mall was the last think Ian wanted to make small talk about. Thinking about the place in any capacity was only making him feel worse and they could have more productive conversations even if they were hard ones… or no talking at all. That’s what Ian hoped for as he let himself be embraced by his friend. It was the exact kind of hug Ian had been needing for longer than he could admit. Ian hadn’t been without hugs. Him and Bo hugged just about every moment they were together but it was different. Bo couldn’t even squeeze him the way Leaf did right now and by the way Ian melted into his friend it showed he needed it. It was hard to be taken care of when he had someone else who needed such a significant amount of his attention. He hadn’t forgotten himself he just hadn’t had the ability to catch a breath until now. “It’s been really hard, Leaf,” Ian finally broke the comfortable silence that fell between them as Ian made no efforts of breaking up the hug. He didn’t know what exactly he needed but this hug was a good start.

[horrorbxby]

                                          i cannot put my finger on it now                                      the child is grown • the dream is gone                                         i have become comfortably numb

                                                    ⋆ orwell washington ⋆

[ianfm]

Happy 22nd Birthday, Leaf Wozniak 

Birthday present moodboard for Leaf Wozniak @urdamage 🎁🎄🎁 Mad’s 12 days of Moodboards 05/12 🎁🎄🎁  🎄🎁 🎄 Day Four 🎄 🎁🎄

Hand delivered to Leaf is the bracelets and book as well as a homemade card. Hand drawn by Ian’s partner (and Leaf’s fellow friend), Bo, is a birthday card with a rendition of Leaf’s beloved van in a fantastical scene. A luscious alien landscape rich with neon vegetation and unidentifiable plant life. The card was Bo’s largest contribution to the present they’d agreed on giving their friend as a couple. Two woven leaf bracelets they’d purchased at one of the holiday vendors at the lodge and a book on native fauna they’d been recommended at A New Chapter. Ian had been in charge of writing the message.

Happy 22nd Birthday, Leaf! Words can not describe how important you are to us and we are so happy to get to call you a friend. We owe ya at least 22 drinks and be sure you make good on that unlike my offer last year!

                                             Love, 

                                           Ian & Bo

Delivered through Cupid’s Ian arranged Leaf’s larger and (actual) gift along with a letter from Ian to the commune after festivities had died down. Bo knew about the blanket and also thought that this year Leaf deserved something extra special but it was Ian’s gift to give-- they both knew that. Not only had he been the one to have burnt a hole in his other that he already felt on the hook to replace since it happened, Ian just had extra appreciation to show his dear friend. As someone who Ian gave a birthday present to every year it was decided not long after the attack that he was going to have something of this caliber for Leaf when his birthday rolled by. It wasn’t long after Leaf had saved him from drowning that he went to Stitch by Stitch in search of someone who’d be able to (and willing) to take on an undertaking like a crocheted blanket. Someone did, a man named Michael whom he’d checked in on the last few months about the progress and whom Ian paid fairly for his work (which had been a pretty penny). Leaf had spent the last half of 21 as a rock for Ian through this time and no amount of words, or thoughtful gifts could ever encompass how though this was an attempt. 

Leaf,  I wanted to give you this in person but you’ve already seen me cry enough already that I wanted to spare you the tears on your birthday of all days. I don’t think I would’ve been able to say everything I want to in person anyways. I think you more than anyone knows it’s a lot easier to say things in a card than someone’s face and you more than anyone deserve a letter addressed to you too.  

Even writing though I’m finding it hard to get the words out that I want to say. Maybe there just aren’t enough words for how grateful I feel to have you in my life. You’ve been there for me in ways I didn’t know I even needed since Bo’s been attacked. You saved me really and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay you for that but please know that I’m going to try. 

You’re one of the kindest, most generous, and intelligent people I know and I hope this day and your next rotation around the sun reflects that. 

Happy Birthday, Leaf. 

I promise I won’t burn a hole in this one. 

-Ian

[ianfm]

Shrike Heights Floral Profile

Eilonwy Finch (Earl Grey Roses)

Malakai Kings (Black Eyed Susans)

Jamie Walsh (Button Mums)

Florian Bonavita (Anemone)

Leaf Wozniak (Lily of the Valley)

Sloane Sanders (Lilies)

Loki Romanov (Daffodils)

Desi Calderon (Fiddleheads)

Geo Olivia (Pin Cushion Protea)

Featuring: @urdamage, @malakaism, @horrorforged, @maullworkers, @hclyghosts, @horrorbxby, @highfears