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kjmsupremacist · 4 years ago

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guys my age (taeyong/yuta)

Taeyong, fresh off of his first year of college, finds himself in a new city for his summer internship. He keeps running into a beautiful man, and Taeyong can’t help but be attracted to him. The problem? This guy is around 40, and Taeyong only just celebrated his 20th birthday.

Chapter 13 - (the summer’s wild) and i’ve been waiting for you all this time YUTA POV | Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Masterlist

Characters: Taeyong, Yuta; the rest of nct intermittently

Genre: fluff, angst, smut

Warnings: AGE GAP (like taeyong is barely legal)*, daddy kink, somnophilia, alcohol mention, vomiting, some alcohol poisoning-related scenes

Rating: Explicit

Length: 5.2k

official playlist here! | if ur able, u can buy me a coffee here!

*please mind the gap! I am in no way condoning or encouraging real life age gap relationships with this fic. I think there is an inherent power imbalance, and that they are rarely healthy. I still like them in fiction though, because im fucked up :) if you think it will upset you, then please don’t read it!

(divider cropped from a photo taken by @/double_cats on twt!)

(A/N): i find it quite hard to believe that we’ve come to the end of this fic--and to such an end! more of my sentimentality at the end, but for now, please enjoy.

The night following the breakup is a long and empty one for Yuta. He considers following Taeyong after he storms off, but ultimately decides against it, realizing quickly that seeing as he was the one that wanted to break things off, he shouldn’t really be chasing Taeyong down. Besides, Taeyong’s an adult—he won’t let Yuta forget it, either. He should be fine.

He doesn’t sleep easy that night, and rises early the next morning. The house is so still. It’s not like he’s not used to being alone, it’s just that the world seems wrong. Even the bright sunlight does nothing to improve his mood; he slogs through his work halfheartedly. It does nothing to distract him. He keeps expecting Taeyong to be around every corner.

You did the right thing, he tells himself firmly as he starts the dishwasher and heads upstairs. Eventually, this hurt will fade, and Taeyong’s will too. He’ll agree, and everything will be fine. You just have to get through the first couple of days, that’s all.

But if it was the right thing, why does he feel so empty? He curls up in bed that night feeling cold and alone. He knows he should start the process of removing traces of Taeyong from his life—he should delete his number and erase their text threads and call history, he should check around his house for things he may have left behind and box them all up, maybe even throw away some of his clothes that he remembers seeing Taeyong wear. But he can’t. His heart is too heavy, and he’s so tired.

He actually manages to fall asleep relatively early, and doesn’t wake until his phone rings right next to his ear. He nearly jumps out of his own skin, scrambling to find it in the sheets and turn the ringer off. He’s about to deny the call—it’s three in the morning, for fuck’s sake—but he catches the caller ID and freezes.

Lee Taeyong.

Why the fuck is Taeyong calling me at three in the morning? He runs through possibilities in his head. He’s probably drunk, and it’s quite possible he’s in trouble. Yuta sighs. Maybe he should just ignore it. But he knows if he doesn’t pick up, he’ll regret it, and he won’t be able to sleep without knowing if Taeyong’s okay.

So he picks up the phone, feeling around his room in the dark for clothes as he talks to Taeyong, half running, half falling down the stairs to go pick him up.

Taeyong is more or less incomprehensible by the time he arrives. Yuta catches him when he falls into his arms, making sure he doesn’t lose his phone, which is dangling precariously in his fingertips. He slings one of Taeyong’s arms over his shoulders and wraps an arm around his waist, and helps him into his car.

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong slurs out, again and again. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, honey.” Yuta clicks his seatbelt into place. His hands are shaking. The last time he saw someone this far gone, he was at university and it was a rough night. He tries not to show his fear, handing Taeyong a plastic bag. “I’m glad you called me. I’d rather you call me in the middle of the night than get hurt.” He goes around to the other side of the car quickly, sliding in and starting the engine. Taeyong groans softly. Yuta looks over at him and his heart twists in his chest. Taeyong’s head is lolled forward and his eyes are screwed shut. There are tear-tracks streaking his makeup. I did this, Yuta thinks miserably. Oh god, I did this. It’s all my fault. He reaches over to rest a hand on Taeyong’s knee as they pull out onto the street. “We’ll be home soon,” he says, hoping to soothe him. “You’re gonna be okay.”

“I know,” Taeyong replies, and it breaks Yuta’s heart. “I’m with you.”

Taeyong throws up about halfway up the hill, but luckily he’s aware of the plastic bag in his hands, and he doesn’t spill anything. Yuta rolls the windows down a little to help with the smell, apologizing for the sharp twists and turns as they make their way to his neighborhood. At last, they pull into his garage. Yuta swears he’s never moved faster in his life, parking the car and basically jogging around the hood to go help Taeyong.

“Think you can make it upstairs, honey?” Yuta asks, gingerly taking the plastic bag from Taeyong as he guides him into the house.

“Mm-hm,” Taeyong says, and he does, vomiting again as soon as he’s safely in front of the toilet. Yuta presses his lips together and rubs his back. He wants to hold him, but he thinks it might be a bit inappropriate now—especially with Taeyong blackout drunk. But god, his hands itch to take Taeyong into his lap and promise him everything will be alright.

Taeyong quiets after a bit, resting his cheek on the seat of the toilet. Yuta coaxes him backwards so he can flush it, murmuring apologies when Taeyong startles at the sudden loud noise. He lets him lean against the toilet again once the bowl has finished filling, and crouches beside him, brushing his damp hair off of his sweaty forehead.

“If I run downstairs to get some snacks and some water, will you be okay on your own for a couple of minutes?” he asks. Taeyong nods mutely. “Okay, I’ll be back in a second.” He curbs the urge to kiss the top of his head, and hurries down to the kitchen. He fills a large bottle with cool water, and grabs a small cup, a box of plain crackers, along with a couple of slices of white bread. It’s not ideal, but it’ll do.

Taeyong’s exactly where Yuta left him when he returns, and he barely reacts when Yuta enters the room. Yuta sets the items down on the floor and pours some water into the cup.

“Hey,” he says softly. “Drink this for me, please.”

Taeyong is compliant, Yuta has to give him that. He’s met (and babysat) so many people in his life who refuse to cling to an ounce of sense the instant the alcohol hits them, and he’s grateful Taeyong isn’t one of them.

They sit together for about an hour. Taeyong throws up a couple more times, and Yuta forces him to rehydrate after each round, even though he knows it’ll just give him more to throw up later. And then, Taeyong stops responding to him. Yuta keeps him on his side on the floor, using a damp paper towel to clean off his face, and tries not to catastrophize.

“Baby,” he whispers, fear making his throat hoarse. “Can you answer me?” He brushes Taeyong’s hair back and watches the shallow rise and fall of his chest. “You’re breathing, so I know you’re okay. It’s okay if you’re too tired. I’m just worried.”

Eventually, he pulls Taeyong’s head into his lap, ready to sit him up real quick if he starts vomiting again. But he doesn’t, he just lies there, not asleep but still not lucid. Yuta doesn’t know how long this goes on; though he’s tired, he forces himself to listen for Taeyong’s breathing. But after a while, it starts to blend into the background, and he can’t tell anymore.

“Taeyong?” Yuta brings a hand up to his cheek. “Taeyong, honey, please say something.”

And Taeyong, to Yuta’s great relief, turns his head and presses his lips weakly to Yuta’s palm. “Thank you,” Taeyong mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Yuta whispers. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong repeats. “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” Yuta pulls them both to their feet, propping Taeyong up against his shoulder as he turns on the shower. He makes Taeyong swish out his mouth, and then gets him to drink a little more water before he undresses him. It feels improper, but Taeyong’s clothes are covered in vomit and alcohol, and he can’t do it himself.

Yuta rinses him off while still fully clothed himself in an effort to maintain some distance (though he’s kind of aware it’s not helpful, and also very stupid). He dries Taeyong off, putting him in one of his old t-shirts, and lies him on his side on his bed. He takes the fastest shower known to man, just so he can get the layer of nervous sweat off, and then joins Taeyong in his bed.

Taeyong curls into his side instinctively, and Yuta can’t help but let him. What am I gonna do with you? he thinks. Why won’t you let me let you go? The same guilt surfaces again, and he feels it everywhere—pounding in his head, sitting on his chest, crawling across his skin. I like you a little too much. And that’s scary to him—the care he has is overwhelming, even now as he watches Taeyong sleep. And it’s not fair of him—it’s selfish, to want to keep him when Taeyong has his whole life ahead of him, and Yuta’s on the other side of it—he should be settling down now, just like his mother always asks. But here he is, in a summer fling turned whirlwind—well. To say romance feels wrong somehow. Because how can there be romance here? Here, where Taeyong is being taken advantage of by the very person who’s supposed to be looking out for him instead. He’s tricked Taeyong into thinking that this is what he wants; that this is good, that this is right.

But what’s scarier than his care for Taeyong is the possibility of losing him, somehow. Yuta knows it, and hates to know it. Even with all the insanity of tonight, it still felt better than the day that they spent apart. Maybe Yuta’s just weak—maybe he isn’t used to people liking him openly, so the instant somebody did, he latched on and didn’t know how to let go.

Or maybe… He traces over Taeyong’s face with his eyes, the sweet pout of his lips, the faded blue hair that brushes across his eyebrows. Or maybe it’s okay, he thinks carefully. It doesn’t mean that we have to promise ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives. But—maybe, as long as we’re responsible, maybe it’s not as bad as I’m making it out to be.

He resolves to talk to Taeyong about it in the morning. But right now, sleep calls, pulling his eyelids shut and sending him swirling into dreams. As expected, he dreams of Taeyong.

~ * ~

And so after not-so-careful deliberation, Yuta decides to keep Taeyong in his life. It worries him, faintly, but Taeyong seems to have a good grasp of their boundaries, and doesn’t push Yuta to do or say more than he wants to. If anything, Yuta’s the one pushing it—buying him flowers, offering to come help him pack, offering to see him off at the station. But he can’t stop himself from offering. And, like always, when he asks, Taeyong says yes.

The Monday of their final few days together, they agree Yuta can try to see how many times he can make Taeyong come. The night before, Taeyong looked at him with shining eyes, and said, “If you don’t make me pass out, you didn’t do it right, okay?” He was being entirely earnest, but it made Yuta laugh.

So Monday morning, Yuta wakes up next to a still-sleeping Taeyong, and only looks at him for a second before getting to work. He rolls over as gently as he can, trying to push away from Taeyong without disturbing him, and grabs the lube from his bedside table.

“You’re lucky you’re a heavy sleeper,” he murmurs to Taeyong, smiling to himself when Taeyong doesn’t move a muscle. He scoots back down behind Taeyong under the covers—heavy sleeper or not, the cold will wake him—and carefully hooks his arm under Taeyong’s right thigh. He opens the lube with his other hand, squeezing out a small drop, and pressing it between his fingers to warm it up. Slowly, he presses his index finger against Taeyong’s entrance. He’s still a little loose from the night before, so it’s not a bad stretch. Still, Yuta takes his time. Taeyong’s body has a long day ahead of it, and he also doesn’t want to do anything too suddenly and wake him up.

Taeyong barely reacts, even when Yuta has his finger completely inside him, and even when he starts drawing it in and out—measured and relaxed at first, and then faster as Taeyong opens up around him. The second finger goes mostly the same way, though when Yuta brushes his prostate, Taeyong lets out a soft huff.

The way Taeyong manages to be so cute but so hot at the same time honest-to-god fries Yuta’s brain. It’s probably a little perverse of him, but—well. Yuta supposes he’s always considered himself a pervert. But god, it’s like Taeyong was made perfectly for him; he just checks all of Yuta’s boxes—except for his age, but right now that’s neither here nor there. Right now, Yuta pulls his fingers out and Taeyong whines softly in his sleep, fidgeting.

“So needy,” Yuta whispers, reaching up a little to wrap his hand around Taeyong’s cock, which is just starting to harden. Taeyong gives a soft sigh of satisfaction, but he still doesn’t wake up. Yuta ducks his head to press a kiss to the nape of his neck. He stays there, lips to his skin, breathing in the scent of Taeyong’s shampoo as he pumps Taeyong’s cock. The sunlight is getting stronger; soon it’ll spill through the cracks in his blinds, illuminating spots of gold on the bed and on their bodies. The day will be spent in that same sort of gleaming warmth.

Yuta goes back to opening Taeyong up, adding a third finger. It’s a bit tight, but they have time, so he just goes slow. And because Taeyong’s asleep, his body gives way to Yuta quickly, and soon he’s moving his fingers with ease. Yuta keeps going until Taeyong is loose around him, and then squeezes his pinky finger in beside the other three.

Taeyong inhales sharply, but still he doesn’t stir, relaxing back down into the pillows as his body gets used to the intrusion. Taeyong’s cock is drooling precome onto his inner thigh by the time Yuta’s content with his prep.

He puts Taeyong’s leg back down and rolls onto his back so he can slick up his cock, then slots his right leg between Taeyong’s and lines himself up with his hole. He spreads Taeyong’s ass with one hand, the other holding onto his waist to keep him close, and pushes in. It’s hot and wet and tight, and Yuta has to hold his breath to stop from moaning.

Taeyong makes a quiet noise in the back of his throat and Yuta freezes, but he doesn’t speak, and his breathing is still deep and heavy, so Yuta keeps going until he bottoms out.

It’s nice to just be inside him, but Yuta knows they have an agenda today, so he only sits and waits for a couple of minutes before beginning to move, rolling his hips up into Taeyong while he presses light kisses to his shoulder. Taeyong hiccups out a moan, finally blinking his eyes open, one hand flying to the hand Yuta still has on his waist.

“Hi, honey,” Yuta says, and his voice comes out rough and deep.

“H-hi, daddy,” Taeyong stutters back breathily. “Oh,” he whispers when Yuta thrusts up into him again. “H-how long?”

“Mm, only about twenty minutes or so,” Yuta admits. “I know you like it, but I wanted to speed things up a little, you know? We have all kinds of plans today.”

“Y-you have all kinds of plans,” Taeyong corrects, as adamant as he can be when he’s biting back moans. “I’m just a willing but ignorant participant.”

“My point still stands,” Yuta replies, half amused and half amazed by Taeyong’s sharp clarity and wit given his current state of being. “Here.” He pulls out and taps Taeyong’s hip. “Roll over so I can see you.”

Taeyong obeys, blinking up at him with a sweet sincerity. He links his hands behind Yuta’s neck and sighs happily when Yuta pushes back in. “Thank you, daddy,” he says after a moment. “You always know what I like best.”

Yuta gives him a charming smile, sort of at a loss for words. “Don’t think I’d be doing my job right if I didn’t,” he points out, and Taeyong just hums, tugging him closer so he can kiss him.

Yuta kisses him deep and rough, letting himself get lost in the feeling of Taeyong’s body. Taeyong’s breath is soft but hot against his lips, and it’s kind of ridiculous, but Yuta doesn’t even mind the taste of Taeyong’s morning breath. How can he, you know?

Taeyong has a hand between their bodies now, stroking himself slowly, moaning low and sweet into the quiet morning. Yuta stops kissing him in favor of knocking his forehead against the sharp line of Taeyong’s shoulder. Taeyong giggles through his moans.

“Yuta,” he giggles, for no reason at all. Just to say his name, Yuta thinks. He doesn’t mind. His brows pinch, a funny feeling when the skin is pressed up against something else. “Daddy,” Taeyong adds. Yuta reaches up blindly to cup his cheek, groaning softly into the shadowy dip of Taeyong’s collarbone. He tightens his hold on Taeyong’s jaw once his palm shifts into place. Not to hurt him. Just to hold.

He ends up hooking his thumb into Taeyong’s mouth. It’s probably a little uncomfortable for him, but Taeyong just gives a sweet little whine of appreciation, so Yuta doesn’t worry about it, focusing instead on chasing his own release. Taeyong lets out soft cries, drooling around Yuta’s finger, and then Yuta feels Taeyong’s come hit his stomach as Taeyong trembles beneath him.

Taeyong clenches around him even as he disintegrates into the mattress, swimming in a post-orgasm haze, as if to say now you, daddy. Now you. And Yuta doesn’t need much longer before he’s spilling into Taeyong with a choked out moan while Taeyong makes happy noises around the thumb that’s still in his mouth.

“Was this a satisfactory start to your day?” Yuta asks, only half-joking, when he has his breath back.

Taeyong laughs, pressing a loud kiss to Yuta’s temple. “Yes,” he says. “You’ve set a high bar for yourself, though, I have to warn you.”

Yuta grins. “I’m not too worried about it,” he says, half a promise, half a threat. Taeyong shoots him a delighted look as he pushes him away so he can slither off the bed. Yuta follows, watching in amusement as Taeyong steps carefully across the floor and goes digging around in one of Yuta’s drawers for a butt plug.

“It’ll be easier later,” he says, shrugging, when he notices Yuta’s silent observation.

Yuta follows him into the bathroom to grab a washcloth to wipe down with—nothing thorough, since it won’t be long before they’re dirty again—and then they find something to wear.

“Do you have a goal in mind?” Yuta asks. “For the number of times you wanna come?”

“Mm, maybe like ten?” Taeyong shrugs. “I don’t really know. I mean, we’ll see how long it takes before my body gives out on me, right?” He giggles as he pulls on a pair of Yuta’s sweats. “Let’s go get something to eat.”

Yuta watches him totter down the hall on shaky legs, grinning as he fastens the ties to his shorts, hurrying to catch up with him so he can kiss his hair.

The rest of the day passes this way—warm and slow and pleasant. Yuta makes Taeyong come again after breakfast with his mouth, and again by twisting the plug against his prostate, cruelly, until Taeyong is crying through a mouthful of t-shirt.

They take a break after that. Taeyong offers to help him sort the the pile of god-knows-what Yuta’s been storing in his bonus room, and they do that for a little before they both get tired. It’s kind of like they’re just waiting for the day to happen to them, but Yuta doesn’t really mind. They end up back in Yuta’s bedroom, and Taeyong crawls into Yuta’s lap where he’s sitting on the bed. Yuta fits his hands around Taeyong’s tiny waist, helping him settle, and then wraps an arm around him and trails his fingers up and down Taeyong’s spine.

Yuta’s not, by any stretch of the imagination, a big dude. He’s medium on a good day, with strong limbs but still a more slender and lithe figure. And yet around Taeyong he feels like fuckin’ Superman, even though they’re the same height. Taeyong is just so fucking little—an impossibly small waist, narrow hips, bony fingers. All sharp edges, except for the gentle plushness of his lips. And god, it drives Yuta insane.

Taeyong starts squirming in his lap, and Yuta just rolls his eyes. “Up,” he says softly. “Pants off. We’ve let ourselves get distracted for far too long.”

Taeyong just laughs, though he does as he’s told, stepping out of the sweats and folding them neatly on the mattress next to Yuta. “How do you want me?” he asks, his tone playful and light.

“Back in my lap, come here,” Yuta says, gesturing him closer. He pulls him close, pressing kisses to his shoulder, and reaches around him to grab the base of the plug. He works it out slowly, nudging Taeyong’s head with his own—”Relax, baby.”

Taeyong trembles in his arms as Yuta sets the plug aside. He offers his fingers to Taeyong to suck, letting him get them sufficiently slick before coaxing them back out of his mouth. He reaches back around again, and pushes his fingers into Taeyong’s hole. As expected he’s still loose, and it’s not long before Yuta is pumping his fingers in and out, grinning as Taeyong whines.

He adds a third finger and then sets a relentless pace, ignoring the way Taeyong is pressed to his chest in a failed attempt to escape. He doesn’t ever actually tell him to stop, just babbles out moans and lets Yuta milk his prostate until he’s coming between their bodies, his cock completely untouched.

Yuta doesn’t stop, though. They’re only on four now, and he knows they both want more. So though he slows for a few minutes to give Taeyong a chance to catch his breath, he never pulls away completely, and Taeyong’s cock doesn’t even have much of a chance to go soft before it’s hardening again, an angry sort of red now.

Taeyong slumps against Yuta’s chest, only managing an exhausted whimper when Yuta speeds up again. “Daddy,” he slurs. “’S’good, but i’ hurts.”

“Too much?” Yuta asks, just to check.

“Mm-mm,” Taeyong insists with a tiny shake of his head.

This time when he comes, it’s only a small amount of clear slick. Taeyong moans, looking faintly embarrassed but mostly pleased, his head tilted back while Yuta stops him from falling with the hand that isn’t knuckle-deep in his ass.

“Okay, you deserve a nap,” Yuta says, chuckling when Taeyong makes the quietest of noises in response. “But we gotta clean you up first, okay?”

It takes a little maneuvering, but soon Taeyong is dozing in his bed and Yuta is down in the kitchen scrounging up some lunch. He lets Taeyong sleep for about an hour before luring him downstairs with the promise of noodles.

They’re up to seven by dinner (one from Yuta’s hand and another from Yuta fucking him on one of the stools that go with his kitchen island) and after dinner they curl up on the couch to watch an episode of a drama that Yuta pretends to pay attention to for Taeyong’s benefit. After the episode, Taeyong demands Yuta choke him on his fingers while he jacks himself off, and Yuta is in no position to say no.

“So?” Yuta says when Taeyong sleepily licks his own fingers clean. “Are we going to call this experiment successful?”

Taeyong thinks about it for a moment. “Well, I haven’t passed out yet,” he says slowly.

“What do you suggest?” Yuta asks, already resigned to fulfilling Taeyong’s wishes, whatever they may be. Like always.

Taeyong wishes end up being Yuta fucking him there and then. “I think it would be fun if I could get to ten,” he says rather matter-of-factly, “but we’ll see what happens.” He gives Yuta a tired grin. “As always, if I fall asleep, I want you to keep going.”

“Okay,” Yuta agrees, bending down and kissing his forehead.

It’s a precarious process, really, because as much as Yuta tried to spare Taeyong’s ass today, he knows he’s going to be sore as hell tomorrow. And though Taeyong has an unusually resilient body, Yuta knows he, too, has his limits. So he tries his best to be gentle with his prep, adding more lube than is probably necessary, just to play it safe. He knows it’s okay; Taeyong likes to feel messy anyway.

He fucks him slow, too, even when Taeyong begs him to speed up. “I’m hurting you as it is, honey,” Yuta chastises. “Don’t think I can’t tell.”

Taeyong pouts, but he stops asking. He lets his head loll to the side, only stiffening slightly when Yuta wraps his hand around his cock.

The other reason Yuta’s going slow is because he knows it’s gonna take a while to get Taeyong there after all his body has been through today. He knows he won’t be able to last if he does, so he focuses more on getting Taeyong to come, his own pleasure entirely secondary.

“You look so tired, baby,” Yuta teases.

“Yeah,” Taeyong admits. “But not too tired for this.”

“Of course not,” Yuta agrees. “My little boy likes getting fucked more than anything else in the world, isn’t that right?” Taeyong looks like he’s about to argue—an unnamable emotion flickers across his face—but then he just nods meekly. “Even when your body gives up on you, huh?” Yuta continues.

“Especially then, I think,” Taeyong agrees. “Especially now.” Yuta meets his starry gaze, and he can’t look away.

And it does take a while; it’s long minutes of Yuta forcing himself to keep the same even, gentle pace, soothed by Taeyong’s dark noises of desire. But even with the time that has passed, it happens somewhat suddenly—Taeyong is twisting and writhing against the cushions, and then he’s coming with a silent scream in Yuta’s hand.

“So beautiful, honey,” Yuta tells him. Taeyong doesn’t reply. “Baby?” Still nothing. Yuta considers stopping, but he knows how indignant Taeyong will be if he does. Taeyong told him to keep going, and he also told him he wanted to hit ten orgasms by the end of the night. And besides, Yuta still hasn’t come.

Still, he doesn’t go fast, doesn’t treat him rough. He rolls his hips slow and distracts himself by looking over Taeyong’s body. He bends over him and flicks his tongue across his nipples. Even unconscious, Taeyong’s whole body twitches in response, so Yuta keeps going.

Truth be told, though his body hasn’t been through the wringer like Taeyong’s has, Yuta’s tired, too. So even though he tries, his thrusts get uneven and hard as he loses focus. Taeyong still doesn’t wake, though, and Yuta hopes he stays asleep until he’s gotten him upstairs and in the bath. He doesn’t need him asking for more, because Yuta’s quite certain he won’t be able to give it.

The pressure is building in Yuta’s stomach whether he likes it or not, and it might be awful of him, but he loves the idea of coming in Taeyong when he’s unconscious. Part of it is that he knows Taeyong wants him to, but part of it is because it makes him feel like he’s staking some kind of claim over Taeyong’s body.

And when he comes, Taeyong doesn’t move at all. Yuta gasps quietly, then grits his teeth so he doesn’t make any more noise. He still owes Taeyong a tenth orgasm, and he’d like to try to make it happen while he’s sleeping.

As soon as he’s spent, he pulls out and drops to his knees, taking Taeyong’s cock in his mouth. He holds Taeyong’s hips in place and lowers himself down, closing his eyes and willing his gag reflex away. Yuta knows he’s good at sucking cock, even though he doesn’t do it that often anymore. So he’s not surprised when Taeyong’s cock hardens further under his tongue—isn’t surprised when Taeyong’s coming more of that clear slick down his throat a few minutes later. Taeyong sleeps through it all.

Taeyong sleeps until Yuta’s lowering him into a hot bath, when he stirs as his feet touch the water. “Yuta?” he murmurs.

“Hi, honey,” Yuta says, unable to suppress a small smile.

“Did we hit ten?” Taeyong asks hopefully.

“Yes,” Yuta says, rolling his eyes. “Are you happy now?”

“Are you lying to me?” Taeyong asks, a hint of accusation in his tone.

“No, when have I ever lied to you?” Yuta defends.

“I suppose,” Taeyong acquiesces, adding, “I missed it, then.” Yuta can’t decide if he sounds excited or disappointed.

“Well, that’s what you get for asking for ten.” He steps into the tub beside him and hands him a washcloth. “Now get clean so we can go to bed, yeah?”

Once they’re clean and Taeyong is happily tucked into bed, out like a light, Yuta props himself up on one elbow and watches him sleep. They’re both sated and happy, and though Yuta’s body is screaming with exhaustion, he can only feel satisfied. He knows in a couple of short days, this will all be over, and he’ll see Taeyong very, very rarely. But for now, this is good.

As he drifts off to sleep, he recalls that this whole day was supposed to be about figuring out the limits to Taeyong’s libido—that maybe this would stop him from being such an incurable little slut. I wonder if it worked? Yuta muses to himself.

Taeyong wakes him up the next morning with a blowjob. So, in short, the answer is no. Yuta’s pretty sure nothing could curb Taeyong’s sex drive. Not that he’s complaining. And it’s like they said. They like each other the way they are.

~ * ~

Yuta sighs, dropping his overnight bag on the floor where it lands with a soft whump. He nudges it inside the door of his laundry room. He’ll deal with it later, but right now he just needs to disappear into his couch with a drink in hand.

The weekend with Taeyong was wonderful. It was so good to see him again, even though they’d only been apart for a couple of weeks. It’s not that Yuta doesn’t know what to do with himself without him, it’s just that he’s better when he is with him. And besides, it had been nice to get a look at Taeyong’s university.

He pulls a beer out of his fridge and wanders into his living room, turning the TV on just for some background noise. He peers out his windows into the inky darkness. The nights are getting colder, even if the days remain warm. There’s no longer a palpable buzz of life outside to keep him company. Yuta settles back against the cushions of his couch, drawing his legs up to sit criss-cross-applesauce. It’s a little tight, but it’s still comfortable. He takes a swig of his beer, and closes his eyes.

And thinks of Taeyong. And thinks of him and Taeyong. It’s all he thinks about, really. It’s all he dreams about. In a dream, Taeyong moves back to this city after he graduates so they only live a short drive away again. He starts his musical career, and their professional paths end up crossing. In a dream, they begin to date in earnest. They go out to dinner, take walks on the beach and hold hands. All the cheesy shit Yuta has always liked to pretend he didn’t like because he thought he could never have it.

In a dream, Taeyong and Yuta get married. Yuta’s parents probably won’t come to the ceremony, but Taeyong’s will. And hopefully some of their friends; not too many. Just enough that there are witnesses, even for just one night, to their love. Because that’s what it is, in a dream—they’re in love.

In a dream, Taeyong and Yuta are in love, and Taeyong moves into Yuta’s house and finally helps him clear out the bonus room so they can turn it into a game room. Taeyong insists they repaint it while they’re at it, and they work side by side in ratty old t-shirts and too-small shorts, windows open to help with the fumes, and the sweet summer breeze drifts in. Taeyong laughs and tells Yuta the smell of it reminds him of the summer they met, even though he can’t possibly smell anything over the heavy stench of wet paint. Yuta will nod anyway. Covered in paint and sweat and with a stray piece of masking tape stuck in his hair, Taeyong will have never looked more beautiful.

In a dream, Taeyong and Yuta are in love, and they adopt a dog and two cats. And a bunch of fish, and probably some snails, and shrimp too—whatever little aquatic pets strike Taeyong’s fancy. Taeyong will stay up late one night to remove one of his fish’s parasites, calmly and gently, while Yuta watches him and panics. Taeyong will finish the little operation and laugh at Yuta as he wipes his hands and puts his tools away. He’ll tell him to stop looking so worried. He’ll tell him their kid is just fine.

In a dream, Taeyong and Yuta are in love, and they work together and travel together and live together. In a dream, they’re never more than a few meters apart for more than a day. In a dream, Yuta finishes an album while Taeyong cooks lunch. Or Taeyong comes home from recording to find Yuta setting the table. Or they both get home late and order takeout, and sit on the couch that is no longer just Yuta’s and pet their cats and play with their dog and talk about their work, and everything is good.

In a dream, Taeyong and Yuta are in love, and they are happy. In a dream, nothing matters except for that. In a dream, Yuta isn’t running, except towards Taeyong. Always towards Taeyong.

But, at least for now, it’s just a dream.

~ * ~

(A/N): I hardly know what to say here except that I have to say something. Thank you to each of you who encouraged me as I wrote and developed this story. I expected it to do well, but never this well. I adore the little community we’ve created and I hope you’ll all continue to stick with me. Lots of writing (and specifically yutae!) to come from me in the future! But regardless, thank you all for your patience, your kindness, and your love.

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cravingcrazewriting · 5 years ago

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Doubts {Treebros}

A/N- This is for the DEH gift exchange! @sincerely-us They're @unoriginalurl77, and one of their prompts was Evan has a bad day, cue hurt/comfort. Trigger Warning- mentions of cutting

The second Evan can't get out of bed, he knows it'll be a bad day.

He couldn't feel anything. Whatever emotion resigned from the day before had completely left, leaving him feeling numb. Well, emotionally numb. It felt like there was a giant weight of expectations and wants everyone expected from him but he just couldn't.

He couldn't even get out of bed.

"Evan? Aren't you going to get ready?" Heidi knew Evan usually got up early so he had plenty of time to eat and get ready to go. She was a bit worried, but she tried to have a little fun with him, for both their sakes.

"I— I can't," Evan choked out, bunching his blankets up and shutting his eyes tight.

"You can't?" Heidi asked slowly, almost to herself. "Is it one of those days?"

He was freaking her out, making her worry, just like always. She'd have to call in and waste her time. She could be resting but no, no Evan had to have issues, like usual. He had to keep bearing her down, keep being a burden, keep being worthless.

"I'll take that as a yes," oh, he hadn't said anything. Faintly, he registered her sigh and run her fingers through his hair. The familiar touch was grounding and nice. "I'll call in for you, okay?"

Evan could only nod as she pulled out her phone and called the school. He didn't catch everything she said, just that he wasn't going to school. Everything else was faded and a blur. It didn't feel real. Nothing felt real.

After Heidi left, Evan fell asleep for an hour. When he woke again, he saw some eggs sitting on his nightstand, and was reminded of the fact he hadn't eaten anything, from the emptiness of his stomach. He willed himself to slowly sit up from the confines of his blankets, and carefully took the plate onto his lap so he wouldn't spill it (even if he did, he didn't think he was in the right mental state to clean it up).

Heidi always made pretty much everything great, which was a shame she wasn't home as much, but it was a treat when she cooked for Evan. Part of his mind scolded him for making her use probably the last of the eggs when she could've given him pop tarts or something. Evan sucked in a breath and closed his eyes tight, trying to will away those thoughts. He fisted his blankets as he tried to stay calm and not spiral. They didn't use eggs much, anyways. There wasn't a lot of harm done, and they could go a week or two without them.

Once he managed to relax, he set the plate back on his nightstand to put away later and grabbed his phone, and well. He wasn't expecting a barrage of messages.

Con: hey were r u?

Con: r u ok? I'm hella worried

Con: should I get ur math??

Con: fuck it

Con: I'm getting ur math

Con: r u sick? I kinda just wanna skip and come see u

Con: evvvvv please answeeerrrr

Evan shook his head, finding those messages from his boyfriend just a bit endearing. Briefly, he knew it was around third hour and that class was still in session, but he couldn't ignore him, because would Connor get the wrong idea? Would he be bothered by what he'd say? He'd hurt him if he ignored the message because it'd seem like Evan didn't care enough to reply, which was not the case, he did care, almost too much, and then Connor would break up with him, his mom would see how heartbroken he was, get even more worried, and he'd end up being one of those guys that couldn't leave his house due to an overbearing family member.

It was extremely unlikely, but Evan's mind was all over the place that day. Deep down, he knew it was unlikely, but some parts were far too probable.

Evan: Just taking a mental health day. I'm okay.

Evan: You can come after school?? If you're not busy??

Evan: I just don't want to make you skip.

After an agonizing few minutes, he got a response.

Con: hell yeah i'm coming over. Gotta be crazy not to.

Ironically enough, that was enough to make Evan smile a little.

Con: and ur not a burden. Don't care how many times I have to say it, cuz I always will.

Con: I love u, Ev.

Con: <33333

Evan: I love you too, Connor. So fucking much <333

Evan tried to use Connor's words to motivate himself. He was loved, he was loved, he was loved, he stubbornly kept telling himself as he moved to sit on the side of the bed, and elevated himself upwards, stumbling only once to regain his footing. He took the plate and let out a breath.

'Small steps,' he thought to himself. 'Small steps. Take it at one, small step at a time.'

It wasn't anything big, but he made his way to the kitchen, washed his plate with a few others, and put it in the dishwasher for a more thorough rinsing later on (when it was full, at least). Afterwards, he walked out onto his backyard porch, in need of some fresh air.

Evan let out a small breath, leaning against the wooden railing as he gazed at the trees that stretched outwards beyond him. Normally, he would've been freezing, as he was only wearing grey shorts and a long sleeved blue t shirt, but in that moment, it didn't bother him. The only thing he could register was his own thoughts that made him spiral further and further downwards.

'He was completely worthless. It took him hours to get out of bed when it's supposed to come naturally. He can't talk to people, he can't do anything worthwhile. So many people have it worse than he does. He's just a burden on his mom and Connor. He's a burden on Alana, Zoe, and Jared. They don't care. Nobody does. It's all just an act, a sham. Why would they care?'

Evan spent almost an hour outside, crying softly as he held onto his arms. The bitter air was only warming up slowly and slowly, but it wasn't enough for his body. Deep down, he knew he had to go back inside. He assumed he was pretty much guaranteed to get a cold at this rate, but he didn't want anything worse.

Warmth cascaded all through Evan as he re-entered the empty house. His body felt like it was ignited as he got uncomfortably warm. He rubbed at his arms as he went to the bathroom to try and cool down.

He shed his clothes quickly and stepped into the shower, flinching at how cold it was. He didn't have the willpower to change it, though, because really, that was why he went in. To cool off, that was all.

Evan caught a glimpse of his hips and legs. They were barraged with various scars, some short and ending roughly while others were long and carefully planned out. He began to shake slightly, willing his eyes away as he curled his hands into fists. Despite trying to shake away the self deprecating thoughts that clouded his mind, he began to cry. He felt ashamed of those scars, and he wanted to heal so badly. While granted, none were very recent, there had been some lapses he wasn't proud of.

He spent a half an hour inside the shower, occasionally letting a couple of tears drop from his eyes, and once he's out, he feels awful about the time he took, and that the water bill would probably go up because of him.

Evan didn't feel like changing his outfit drastically, as he slipped on some sweatpants to forget about what caused his (second) breakdown in the first place. After he grabbed his phone and a blanket, he curled up onto the couch with said blanket and began watching whatever was on television. He didn't move from his spot, despite knowing he needed to eat lunch, but couldn't find the motivation to.

Con: hey Ev, I just got out and I'm coming to see u rn :3

Evan: You can just come in when you get here. Just ring the doorbell for a forewarning

Con: got it. Omw

About ten minutes after their short conversation, the doorbell rang, and a moment after, Connor stepped inside.

"Hey Ev. Doing okay?" His expression had worry printed all over.

When Evan attempted to reply, he realized he hadn't uttered a single word all day. So, he cleared his throat and said, "Kinda."

"Your eyes are red," one thing Connor was trying to work on was not jumping to conclusions, but he still slipped up more than he cared to admit.

Evan couldn't deny a statement like that. So, he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Can I— is it okay if I touch you?" Connor took a seat beside him, keeping a little distance.

Evan, who didn't feel like using his voice, just nodded.

Connor scooted closer to him, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "You wanna talk about it?"

Deep down, he sort of wanted to, but at the same time, he couldn't because it was too much. "Um— later?"

"Okay," he whispered, giving his shoulder a little rub. "What'd you need right now?"

"A distraction, p-please?" Evan was shaking slightly, and leaning into his touch.

Connor seemed happy to oblige, as he began talking about stuff that happened at school. Heidi had apparently told his mom that Evan wouldn't be there, but he didn't learn this till fifth hour from Jared, after they'd already established that. He talked about how Alana apparently didn't take mental health days, but that she hoped he'd feel better. Apparently Zoe had been worried at first too, because she informed Connor of a small routine they had. When they were passing from first hour to second hour, they'd cross paths and wave. Connor surprisingly found it nice as they had their own thing.

He then launched into rant about the math teacher, how she didn't know what she was doing, and how easily she gave up on kids. Apparently she told Connor he just wasn't going anywhere in life (that was absolutely not true at all, she said that to other students), and he had to resist the urge to just scream at her with how wrong she was, because that'd just prove her point.

When he was done talking, Evan cleared his throat, "Er, I'm ready, now."

"Okay," Connor moved his arm from his shoulders to grab his hand. He was waiting for Evan to start.

He took a deep, slightly unsteady breath, and began, saying, "This morning I couldn't get out of bed. I just... c-couldn't face the world as the disappointment I am. I couldn't— I couldn't force myself up, everything was just— t-too much."

Evan spared a glance at Connor, who looked upset at this new information, but didn't say anything. He made a gesture for him to continue.

"I managed to fall back asleep. When I woke up uhm, mom l-left some eggs for me and you texted me. So I did all that.. s-stuff and went outside. It just... hit me, that I'm b-burdening everyone, that all of you would be better off without me," Evan feebly rubbed at his eyes. He didn't want to start crying for a third time that day.

He felt Connor's grip on his hand tighten. "Evan, no... that's not true at all. It's okay to need a break, or to break down, because I know you'll get back up. That's what you always do, and that's what makes you so strong. If you... were gone now, I'd be heartbroken. I wouldn't know what to do with myself, but mostly, I'd wonder how I could've helped.."

Evan sniffled, and rubbed his nose.

"You're my light at the end of the tunnel. You help me find my way and keep me going. If I lost you, I’d be lost,” he smiled sadly. “I love you, Evan, and I’ll try to be the same for you.”

He was crying again, but this time, it was happy tears. He pulled Connor into a hug and whispered, “Thank you, Connor. I love you, too.”

And as he felt Connor’s arms wrap around him, he finally felt okay.

#treebros #connor #connor murphy #evan #evan hansen

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

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Survey #222

“hold your breath, my dear, we’re going under.”

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? No. Have you ever stayed online for a long time waiting for someone? Ha ha, yeah... I did that for Mini a lot when I was younger. Would you survive in prison? I can almost guarantee I'd find a way to kill myself, no. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Probably ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Obsess over if I'm making eye contact correctly. Like the WHOLE time I will be thinking about it. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? I had a lot of childhood cats run over, and that was always hard to see. As for coping, I just... did. What else do you do. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. Mini skirts, slutty or stylish? Um, what you wear doesn't determine whether or not you're "slutty." They don't bother me. Do you like a partner who is clean cut or rugged? A mix. Pale or tan, which would you rather be? I like pale skin, I just don't like the texture of mine. The negative of pale skin is the fact you can see flaws more clearly. Is walking cats strange? (like walking dogs) No. What about kids on leashes? What do you think about that? That shit is wild. Teach your children better, or keep them in your sights at all times if they have some kind of condition that makes it challenging to teach them properly. How many piercings have you had, BESIDES ears, no one cares. Two. New tats in your near future? Whenever I myself have the money, my next tattoo appointment will be to enhance my Mark tribute one to better the galaxy texture. I love the guy who's done my tats so far, but there are better out there, and I don't feel he achieved my vision. This tattoo is WILD important to me; it has to be perfect. After that, a "new" tattoo probably won't happen until I have a job or I'm gifted money. How about piercings or re-piercings? "In the near future" is the criteria I'm guessing is still relevant? It depends on how quickly I lose enough weight for my collarbones to be clearly prominent to get dermals. I've been fucking stagnated for a year, though, so I don't know when the hell that's happening... Who would you like to hang out with? There's a lot of old friends and acquaintances that fit this. Next new thing you are wanting to try! Idk. Some sort of job I can actually accomplish. Would you ever visit a psychic medium? Definitely not; I don't believe they're legit. Are some days a waste of makeup? Um so idk if you know, author, but people wear makeup for their own satisfaction. If it makes you feel beautiful, then hell no it's not a waste. Do you watch any beauty gurus on YouTube? Okay I fucking adore Jeffree Star y'all. He's a goddamn Mood and inspirational as ALL hell in terms of his determination, work ethic, and open-mindedness. I watch everything he uploads ever, even though I'm not really interested in makeup. It's cool to watch though; it's an art to me. Do you have a PillowPet? No, but omfg. One of my favorite Christmas memories ever is the night my niece, when she was around two or so, was given one (or something like it?) the night before, we turned the lights out, and lit it up so the colorful stars were all over the room. She was absolutely marveling over it. That was the same night my sister revealed she was pregnant with my nephew, actually. That was a great night. Actually felt like a family. Do you have sleep paralysis? Thank FUCK no. Have you ever wanted an ex back, but found out they were dating someone? I've talked about Jason and Ashley before. God that was a bad. Bad. Fuck-ing. Time. Do you like Placebo? I don't listen to them. Has anyone ever carried you to bed? I mean as a kid, yeah. Idr as a teenager or adult. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? The greyhound. Dachshunds are precious, but as of semi-recently, I'm personally against breeding pets with damaging/unhealthy traits, and dachshunds are very susceptible to spine issues. Idk if greyhounds have any issues like that. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Bitch we poor, no. What is the next craft you are going to make? Probably something for Sara for some special event. I don't think that's much of a spoiler, so I don't mind sharing it. Do you learn choreography easily? I was decent when I was a dance student, but no, I can promise you no. My memory is laughable. If you had to choose, would you rather be taller or shorter? Taller, I guess? Idk. Do you believe that Jesus will come back in your lifetime? No, I don't believe he ever will. What color is your winter coat? ... Shit dude, idr. Idk if I even have one, actually. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Gimme all ur Reese's cups. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? No. Have you ever had a themed b-day party? I'm sure I did as a kid. Were you afraid of heights as a child? No. I am now tho. Which dollar store is your favorite? Here, Dollar Generals are everywhere and generally the preferred one, I believe. What food gives you diarrhea? Totally serious, most exceptionally "fancy" foods; by that, I assume things with lots of intricate spices and other ingredients. At least severe gas pains are almost guaranteed when I eat out somewhere. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Ha ha man, I remember as an elementary school student though, we had a play where I SO wanted to be Snow White. What is the most fascinating part of nature? Evolution. I don't know how I once didn't believe in it. Would you ever go vegetarian? I am serious about returning to vegetarianism when/if I get to a weight I'm satisfied with (losing weight w/o meat is more difficult than with, particularly for an extremely picky eater). I wish I could be a total vegan, but I know I'm not capable of that. Once you actually learn about slaughterhouses and farm life... no. What berry is your favorite? STRAW!!!!!!!BERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is your dream house? Something in the woods with a nice yard/outdoor decor, flowers, wildlife... What was the reason in you crying last? PTSD. Are there any movies in the theater that you’d like to see? The new IT and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. What do you think of Coca Cola? It's my third-fave soda. What about polar bears? Gorgeous animals. I will R I O T if they go extinct. My best friend(s) are/is... Sara. When do you want to have your first kid? Never. I am faaar from cut out to be a mother. Which stovetop burner do you use the most? I don't cook, so. The times I've made eggs, uh... I think I use the bottom right? Do you use a dishwasher or wash dishes by hand? Ugh, we don't have one. What year did you graduate high school? 2014. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I should with how paranoid I am. What is your favorite gas station? Sheetz is the way to go down here. What have been some of your best garage sale finds? *shrugs* Idr the last time I went to one. Ever worked two jobs or more at once? Hell no. I wouldn't survive. How often do you check your email? Every day, mainly for school. What would you do if your ex came to you crying? It would depend on who. "The" ex, I don't give a fuck how I feel about him, he's getting a tight-ass hug because seeing him cry is awful, and I will always care about him to a certain degree. Well actually, I'd ask him before hugging; I don't know if he'd be fine with me touching him. Girt would get a big 'ole hug for sure. Juan, Tyler, and Aaron I'd ask if they wanted a hug. I'd definitely ask any of them if they wanted to talk/vent to me about whatever is wrong; I can't stand seeing people cry. What school do you go to, what grade? I'm a super late freshman in college. How do you feel about school? It's been a drastic change in my daily life and thus has caused stress, but nevertheless I'm ecstatic to be back because I'm actually making progress towards going somewhere. Are you still a virgin? So I know it sounds like it makes NO sense w/o details, but seriously, I don't know. We had "cheaty" ways to just barely skirt around it because at the time I was abstinent, but pretty sure at some point it became sex. Do you eat chips or crackers more? Man, I haven't had chips in a loooong time... though I love them, man. We have crackers at the house usually, and I snack on them occasionally. Is your bed next to a wall? Who doesn't have their bed against at least one?? Is your bed next to a window? There's one beside me against the wall. Do you have neat handwriting? I think so. The only thing I don't like is I write SOOOOOOOOOO slow. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer? Dancer. Would you rather be a musician or a painter? Painter. What did your hair look like in high school? Long and normally brown, but sometimes I dyed it black with colored highlights. Favorite flavor of hot chocolate? Normal?? What is your top priority in life? My happiness, probably. Have you ever made a gingerbread house? Yeah. Sucky ones, but they were gingerbread houses, lol. Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? EW both are gross. Skeletons or scarecrows? I'll see you in the Skeleton War, fuckers. Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? My Writing teacher. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? I did a TOTAL 180 on LGBT rights, and my former, intense pro-life stance has altered quite a lot to mostly pro-choice. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? Man, a lot... A total ban from plastic and finding an alternative for it would be great, as well as the cure of cancer and H.I.V. Make gay marriage legal worldwide. Make great progress on cleaning the oceans. I could go on and on. Do you know anyone who has a PhD? As far as personally, possibly. Like, obviously my doctors do. How do you feel when you’re the center of attention? *buys that red button that says "no" in various fashions solely for this occasion* Are you and your S/O Facebook official? She doesn't have a FB, but mine does say "in a relationship." Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? Not that I know well anymore; a former best friend is in the process of becoming one, though. So proud of her. Which would bother you more: being told you’re not likable or being told you’re not sensible? Being told I'm not likable would really hurt. How many bedrooms does your house have? Two. Have you ever had a dream in which you died? Yeah. Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not really. Everyone gets them. Do you use Snapchat? No. Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? Yes. What was your first job? And how long did you work there? I was a sales associate at GameStop. I was employed for like two months, but I worked very few days before I crumbled. Where is the last place you were other then where you are right now? School. How do you feel about the last person you kissed? I adore her. Lol, Lawl, Rotfl, Lmao, or Lmfao? (Which you use most) Lmao or lol. Have you/Do you know anyone that grows weed? Not knowingly to me. Do you really care about name brands? Not just for the sake of being a certain name; I do, however, care about the quality of brands, of course, such as taste for foods or being comfortable in clothes. Describe your favorite pair of jeans to me please. I don't have any. When I was actually slim though, I had a pair of maroon skinny jeans with a black dappling texture, and there were holes in them where the fabric was just black, and I loooooved them. Those and my leather boots was A Look. To wash in the shower, do you use a loofa? That's not the technical name for what I use according to Mom when I've called them that, but rather a body sponge or something like that, but it's like the same thing. Have you ever ridden on a horse? Yes, though not at a gallop or anything "real." Just at things like school fairs. Are you polite? I think I'm very polite, honestly. Do you prefer bright or muted colors? Bright, usually. Can you roll your tongue? I used to be able to after practicing all day once with a friend ha ha, but I haven't been able to for a long time. Definitely can't now with snake eyes. Are you a light weight when it comes to alcohol? No, apparently. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? British and country. How loud do you listen to music? Too loud, I know. Are you more awkward talking to people in real life or online? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, real life. I don't think I'm half bad online. Do you bruise easily? So easily that I was tested for anemia or whatever it's called where you bleed easily (the test was negative, thankfully). Despite feeling bruised, though, I usually don't have an actual mark. Have you ever bought pre-ripped jeans? All my jeans were. I hate plain, boring jeans. What are you most likely to spend money on? Tattoos, lol... I genuinely think I'm good with money, I feel because of the financial position I've grown up and lived in, although I have never had a stable source of income, so it's hard to really determine that yet. I'm quite sure I'll be fine, but I really do hope I handle my money well when I do and don't invest all my spendable (as in, not money that I'm saving for emergencies) money into just tats. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Welcome to my life, lol. I'm at an age where it's starting to get embarrassing, but. Idk how to change it. What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever heard somebody die of? *shrug* When was the last time you (dis)liked someone without really knowing them? I dunno. I try to not do that. When was the last time you wore a mask? What did it look like? Hell if I remember. I don't even remember wearing any on Halloween as a child. What comes up on your recommended list on YouTube? Mainly let's plays or music. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? Hell no, that wouldn't last long. How many true heart breaks have you had in your lifetime? One. Do you have any gay family members? My mom has a gay cousin. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Sara. Would you ever get a boob job? No; I don't care enough about them too. I wish they were smaller. I liked mine when I was a healthy weight, so, let's get back to that size, please. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? Aaron, I think he actually is. Juan, trust me, he's not. Jason couldn't convince me he was gay even if he tried. I very highly doubt he'd be bi/pan, either. Girt, I would be surprised, but not like, immensely. I don't have a clue about Tyler and if he has any gay tendencies/history. Would you ever take someone back if you found out they cheated on you? NO SIR-REE. Do people ever compliment your eyes? Yeah. Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? I don't know. I used to feel REALLY strongly about porn just being a big 'ole fucking nope, but whatever man, we're sexual animals. Better you take care of urges yourself rather than, you know, raping someone or something. If I personally caught my s/o doing it, idk how I'd feel, but knowing me and my self-esteem, I'd feel I'd probably jump to the whole (if we were serious) "um hi I'm your fckng gf what am I not enough" thought path. I don't think I'd be livid, though. Ask the old Britt, and we would've broken up there, probably. Who’s the last person that hung up on you? *shrug* Do you have a common first name? Yeah. Have you ever been engaged? No. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Four, currently. They're gonna be covered one day. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? No. Have you ever been punched? No. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? I will, without fail, get the spicy shrimp fritas and be the happiest human being on Earth. How do you feel about bats? I absolutely adore them. Do you get excited when you learn you have to dress up? Quite the opposite, actually. What brand of hair spray do you use? I don't use it. Do you like it when guys wear hats? I have zero opinion on this. Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's? I prefer Wendy's. If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? No. Are you the type of person who would study for a test for hours? No, I'm not. I generally don't even have to like, intensely study; I tend to learn upon reading things, or in like math, performing the actions just a couple times. "Studying" doesn't tend to work for me; if it gets to that point, it probably won't stick, regardless of how many times I try. Are you a lazy person? I hate admitting just how lazy I am. But I mean again, it also depends on what is at stakes. Does your house have a doorbell? Yes, though I actually don't know if the doorbell works... Favorite album? Ozzy Osbourne's Black Rain. Favorite farm animal? PIGS! Has your Facebook ever been hacked? No. Do you spell gray with an A or an E? I use the American spelling ("gray"). Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? I would be perfectly and entirely happy with purely money for my birthday, because that equals tattoos, lmao. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Have you ever played laser tag? Once on a double-date with Jason and our old roommates/friends. Do you ever share things on Facebook? Almost all I do are share things I support, find funny, find as inspirational or cute, stuff like that. I can confidently say the majority of people I even have as "friends" on there do not care that much about my personal life. Is anyone you’re close to in the hospital right now? I mean, define "close." My grandmother's going through chemo, but we're not like... my definition of particularly "close," though she's close-ish family, so idk. Is your Wifi protected? Of course. What did you have for lunch today? I didn't eat lunch. How often do people write on your Facebook wall? On my birthday, lmao. Does your phone have a cover on it? No. I'd say I want one, but way more than that, I want a new phone. Mine is godawful. What color was your swim suit this year? I mean my most recently-worn is black, but I think it'd probably be too big for me now. I haven't swam in a long time. Do ladders scare you? Yes. Do you have any pictures of you and your friends in your bedroom? No. How do you eat Oreos? I'm one of those people that breaks the cookie to eat the cream first. Who or what sleeps with you? My cat Roman. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yes, but spelled differently. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? Honestly, it's become almost embarrassing to say I was ever pro-life. I'm vehemently pro-choice now. What color LED is the display in your car? Okay so Mom's has a rainbow of options, but I think it's currently stuck on... purple? I think? How am I unsure???? I'm in it every day?????????? Who was your first kiss with? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. What kind of milk do you drink? I'll drink anywhere between skim to whole milk, but I'm not really a fan of skim despite having grown up with it. What aren’t you afraid to stand up for? I'd stand up for gay rights if it killed me. Do you know anybody in the military? Loosely. What was the last hotel you stayed at? I don't have the slightest clue. Do you have any STDs? No. What’s your preferred salad dressing? YO the Olive Garden dressing is b o m b. Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver? No. Who’s your celebrity crush? I'm almost 24 years old ha ha ha hahaha I'm too old for a celebrity crush aha hahaa haa aahha ah hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa- What color is your fridge? Black. Do you know the metric system well enough to live in Canada? No, admittedly. What was the biggest bruise you’ve ever had? Tell me the place (on your body) and the story of it! Idr. If you have Etsy account - show the very last item you added to the favorites. If not - either skip or just visit Etsy and find one thing you like: I think I have one, but I don't use it. I don't feel like looking. What would you do if you knew that you will be single to your very death (even if you’re in a relationship now)? Nothing would change...? My relationship status doesn't alter my goals and such. Are there any exchange students at your school? We have a LOT of foreign students at my school, so I'd assume so. Have you got any half or step siblings? I have three (actually four, but I don't know one tho) half-siblings and technically a step-brother, but I don't see him as a "brother," really. What cars do your siblings drive, if they do drive? My older sister has a red car, and my younger has a... black Kia, I think? It's dark is all I know for sure, and I only know the brand because it's new. I don't live with either or see their cars frequently elsewhere, so idk. What about your parents? Idk what kind my dad drives, but BOY do I know my mom's car, lmao. It's an older white Kia (I think?) with the bumper fuckin zip-tied onto the car bc it was given to us after a dance friend hit a poor deer, lmao. Look, we don't complain, shit was free. Do you like kid’s movies? Yo I do NOT trust you if you claim you like NO "kids' movie." Describe your handbag. I'm actually gonna look it up. (https://sourpussclothingwholesale.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/night-owl-bag.jpg?w=584&h=364) When was the last time you had to take someone home? ME, never. I don't have my license because I'm terrified of driving. Who was it, and where did you take them home from? N/A Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? Sara Jaaaaaane!!! :'> There are other friends I'd like to meet, too. If so, which website did you meet on? Sara and I met via YouTube when it was actually community-oriented. Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah, multiple times. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Yeah, I guess. She didn't actually like, force me outside, but I had to call my mother to pick me up. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. Did you get swine flu? No. What is your favorite type of cat? Aesthetically, I find Persians to be way too cute, though I don't support their continued breeding. It's literally abuse to breed animals that deformed. Do you support the LGBTQ community? I'm bisexual, so like- Have you ever eaten a veggie burger? Yeah, the Morningstar brand from Burger King (not the Impossible Burger one). It's genuinely not bad. If you could meet any major political figure, who would it be? I'm not educated enough on like, any, to properly answer this question. If you drink Monster, what is your favorite flavor? N/A Do you own any Webkinz stuffed animals? I was that Bad Bitch(tm) with like,,,, almost all of them back in the day. If so, do you have a Webkinz online account? It exists, but idr the password sobs. If you had/have a Club Penguin account, how old were you when you got it? I would have a character for like two days, not go back on for years, repeat a couple times... but idk how old I was. Do you own any Nintendo video game consoles/handhelds? GameBoys and a DS Lite, yes. What religion were you raised in? Roman Catholicism. Are you still that religion, if you had one? Far from it. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Buddhism and Wicca. What ancient culture intrigues you the most, if any? Idk. Were/are you a teacher’s pet? Not like, the kind that sucked up to the teacher for their personal benefit, but if you mean just as in the teacher's favorite, yeah. Do you like pink lemonade? Hell yeah man. What’s your favorite U2 song, if you have one? I don't listen to them. Were your parents born in the United States? Yeah. Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? I want it to be perfectly and violently clear that I fucking despise you if a child being fed fucking offends you. Why or why not? Because women's bodies aren't sexual fucking objects designed for your viewing pleasure. Write an unpopular/offensive opinion of yours here. I’m interested. Buckle up, lads. Seatbelts fastened? Ass properly in the seat? Airbags in place? There are two genders.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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spitestudies · 7 years ago

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hello everyone!! as a high school junior taking 4 aps, 3 other classes, preparing for the act, trying to do college research, stage managing a musical, and trying not to lose my mind, here are some fun n handy tips for not Dying when ur schedule is hell!

if you found this post helpful maybe give it a like/reblog and check out my other posts here!

01 | PLANNING AND PREPARING

so much of getting and staying organized has to do with organizing your time in advance. there are a million ways to do this--google calendar, a bullet journal, a planner, some post-it notes. my system involves three parts: a google calendar, a planner, and an online to-do list app.

google calendar: this is mostly for events. i can see when i have rehearsals, classes, doctor’s appointments, etc. this helps me see how much available time i have and budgeting it properly.

planner: i take this with me to school, and i use it to right down when i have assignments and tests. i use the ban.do planner, but these are a bit pricey, and really anything will do. just somewhere to put down tasks so you can keep track of them

getplan.co: this app is, honest to god, the only reason i am still alive and breathing. it plugs into your google calendar and then allows you to create and schedule tasks around events. @studycxlture has an amazing post about plan here that i def recommend checking out!

general tips about planning:

plan out the events of your month at least two days before it starts

set aside a night (i like sunday evenings) to set up a system for the upcoming week and go over what you have planned so you don’t forget anything

you are NOT gonna remember that assignment that teacher told you about. write it down.

you do not need a fancy system. it’s okay to try lots of different things until you find what works

never spend more time planning out tasks than completing them. unless you have that much free time, don’t dedicate two hours to making a lovely weekly bullet journal spread.

color codes!!! are a life saver. i have one with a color for each class (red for english, orange for spanish, yellow for history, green for science, blue for math, etc) as well as some for my extracurriculars (pink for the musical, teal for model un, etc).

always have ur planner open when ur working, so that you can make sure u r actually completing all the tasks u said u were gonna complete

02 | STAYING ORGANIZED

oh my god oh my god oh my god staying on top of your work is SO important when you’re busy. being able to find your worksheets and keep track of your homework and your million responsibilities is essential to being successful. to stay organized, i have an expandable file folder with tabs for each class. because i take most of my notes in notebooks instead of binders, this is a good way to keep all of my handouts, worksheets, and syllabi centralized.

also, make sure you have a way to keep your online materials organized. create a folder for each school year, and within that folder, create more folders for each class. from there, it’s up to you about how you’ll organize files. you can create even MORE folders (yeet) for things like homework, notes, study guides, etc, or folders for each unit you study. the possibilities are endless!!!! isn’t technology exciting

here r some pieces of advice for staying organized:

have a series of folders/binder/expandable file folder to hold your worksheets. or one for each class, though i prefer to keep all my papers in one a) to save money and b) to save space.

label your notebooks/binders so that you know which ones to bring home with you

never just shove something into your backpack. never. i’m gonna manifest into ur classroom and FIGHT you if u do that. it’s not good, it’ll end up getting lost or crushed under the weight of all ur textbooks, and you’ll end up panicking when u can’t find it

have ur planner on u at all times

keep a good filing system of ur stuff at home. u don’t need to carry around every single bio assignment you’ve gotten back, but by the time ur final rolls around ur gonna want 2 b able to look at all the materials you’ve gotten during the semester

that being said, throw stuff away when the year is over! i, for one, know i’m never gonna think about calculus after this class is done, so i will be recycling all of my papers (save the earth) and moving tf on

keep a recycling bin in your room! even if it’s just a paper bag, it’ll make throwing paper in the trash way less tempting (save the earth)

u don’t need a ton of pens. i’m being a giant hypocrite saying this but you really don’t need all that stuff. if you want it and you can manage it, great, but if it’s just another thing to keep track of, leave ur staedtlers and ur mujis and ur fineliners and ur calligraphy pens at home, and just take the essentials with u to school

03 | MAKING THE MOST OF UR TIME

in order to succeed, it’s v important to make every second count. this doesn’t mean studying 48 hours straight (pls don’t), but try not to waste time. whether this means you spend fifteen minutes napping, doing some reading for english, or having a quick snack, make sure u are being productive and healthy! i, for one, sometimes have 1-2 hour breaks between school and rehearsal, and i like to use these to walk to the grocery store by my school and get some food and then study in the deli.

some ideas for being productive!

carry a clipboard around everywhere. this way, u don’t need to spend as much time transitioning in and out of tasks, u can just put ur work onto the clipboard, and put it in ur backpack at the end of a break, and then the next chance u have to work on it, just take it back out. easy peasy

work during commutes! nOT if ur the one driving the car though that’s VERY dangerous and distracted driving = bad. but if ur on the bus, or ur mom is driving u to school, that might be a good time to go over some notes you took last night, or some reading you need to catch up on. nothing too insane, please don’t do ur chem labs on the public bus but. u know.

read over the notes you took that day on the ride home. this will help reinforce the information in ur brain, and it’s not super difficult. i go over my apush notes during the 40 minute drive home and sometimes talk about them w my mom, which gives me a much better grasp of the material

don’t waste time on social media. either delete instagram altogether, or log off/mute notifications before u start work. same with tumblr. don’t start scrolling obsessively if u have three tests to study for.

power naps!!!! napping for about 10-20 minutes, maybe on the way home or to practice/rehearsal/whatever u gotta do, can help u feel refreshed! anything longer will make u more tired tho, so be sure to get up when u say ur gonna get up.

study smarter: when ur going over material, u don’t need to handwrite 60 beautiful flashcards. use quizlet instead. don’t revise if it’s not gonna help u. prioritize which assignments r gonna be most impactful over the little ones u can easily make up

take good breaks!! breaks r VERY important and should be utilized properly. here r some good suggestions for things to do:

throw in a load of laundry

empty the dishwasher

stretch/do some jumping jacks

drink some water!

go for a walk

talk to a family member

get a snack!

read some fun novels n such

scream?

!! in case of emergency !! the following tips should only be employed when ur short on time. don’t use these just bc u can, this is just when it’s about getting close enough to grasping material, not actually grasping it

do every other math problem assigned, and either star the ones u didn’t do, or get the answers from the back of the book. this way, u get some practice but u also save time

sparknotes ur reading beforehand. this way, u can recognize what’s going on. it’s not v good for developing ur reading comprehension, but assignments will go by quicker

NEVER google translate ur language homework, but u can use word reference for helping u find the right word and proper conjugations

flagpole it: didn’t study enough for a test? are u guessing on like 10 of the questions? if it’s multiple choice, but the same answer for all the ones u have no clue about, unless that answer choice seems highly unlikely. then pick a different one. this way, ur statistically more likely to get some of the ones you guessed correct.

when u have an online assignment due at midnight and it’s 11:53 and u haven’t started, find another assignment you’ve already completed that has a similar document name. for example, “scarlet letter chapters 9-11″ instead of ur actual assignment “scarlet letter chapters 12-14″. submit the other one, and then when u finish the other assignment (either that night or the next morning) email ur teacher and apologize, say u accidentally submitted the wrong document

if ur parents will let u (if ur in high school) or u can let urself (if ur in uni), it’s okay to skip a day to catch up. just make sure u actually work, get the notes u missed, and talk to ur teachers/professors abt the material u missed.

04 | STAYING HEALTHY

ur health comes before any assignment, test, or extracurricular. i know lots of ppl r probably telling u that and it doesn’t seem like they mean it, but i mean it. no exam is worth sacrificing ur mental, physical, or emotional health for. yeet! so here r some things to keep in mind

eat! ur fuckin! breakfast! whether it’s a smoothie or oatmeal or a cup of orange juice or an apple or an elaborate french toast dish, u need some food in ur stomach so that u have the energy to start ur day

remember to take ur meds if u need to!

drink water! drink! water! have a glass when u wake up, and then at least one with every meal, and one before u go to bed. hydration is v important. if u can, invest in a water bottle and take it with u to class.

pack a lunch! and if ur staying later after school, pack snacks! tech week for me is always hell because i get to school at 7:30 am and don’t usually leave until 11 that night. it’s v important to stay nourished and hydrated so that u don’t get dizzy or faint.

remember! that u are beautiful, and ur body is beautiful, and it deserves 2 b loved! especially by u.

get 6 hours of sleep. aim for 8, but six at the very least. if ur done with ur work, go to bed early! don’t just stay up for no reason.

shower everyday, or every other day at least. give yourself those 15 minutes as a break from work or school or anything else that’s keeping you busy

write down ur thoughts in a journal?

talk to a friend if ur feeling sad, or just feeling things very intensely. share ur joy with other people! vent ur sadness and anger so u aren’t carrying it around everywhere.

make some time to have fun. see a movie w ur friends or ur bf/gf/datefriend or ur family over the weekend. go to a museum. hang out at the mall. sleepover at someone’s house. taking breaks is healthy.

make an effort to have dinner with ur family if u can (also if u like ur family. i know some ppl have bad relationships w them so skip this step if that’s u). it can be nice to reconnect w everyone, even when ur stressed or they’re annoying u, it can be nice.

remember that it’s okay to be imperfect! u don’t need to be good at a lot of things. i got a b for the first time last semester, i just got a c on an apush test, i failed my driver’s test again yesterday. but i also aced my math quiz, i celebrated six months of knowing my best friend, i walked my dog, i helped put a production together. it’s okay to have rough days and bad days and bleh days, as long as you keep pushing through them and working for the days to get better.

i love u!!! stay hydrated and nourished and get enough sleep. put on some lotion if u have it available. brush ur hair. if u ever wanna ask a question, my ask box is always open! <3

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