#ur not dying wtf ameridan

[recitedemise]

Perhaps Ameridan has ought to speak to him in smaller parts. They could then gather in the morning, expounding on their slumber as some light aperitif, and their moving onto topics of a cut more tender? That, their grand entrée, would so delightfully fill him. He'd then the time, he would wager, to both savor and consider each succulent portion. As it were, he's drowned in half a deluge, palate dumbly struck with a thick, sweet mead. His cheeks would color and his world would tremble! He's on the bloody appetizer and he's half-way drunk.

Truthfully, there's not a world where he'll leave this with the whole of his senses, but...well, a pride-death tonight would be merciful, indeed. Ameridan, as is he's wont, stuns him mad, mad, agog.

"If there's but one thing I've learned, Ameridan," Gale somehow recovers, "is that arguing with you is but an exercise in futility." It's fond. "You would astound me always, and there's not a conceivable world where I could say that enough. Believe me, I am very much aware of my considerable vocabulary, but the whisper of a moment in an evening by your side? That alone would leave me stumbling without them."

Selfishness, is that right? To his horror, Gale decides that he likes it, that grasping, self-serving, and remorseless greed. Of course, it isn't new to him, most certainly, the clinging of those cobwebs of another soul's wants; however, it's but the nature of the wanting proving more the whirlwind. In fact, it's like an ocean and some star-jumps away from Hers. Dizzyingly, Gale wouldn't question his sincerity, that need for Gale's survival so blisteringly naked. It hardly matters to the price tag, to the lives he'd put at risk for this wizard so rotted, and it's this wholehearted selfishness that catches in his swallow. Gosh. At long bloody last, some honest regard.

No, he won't grieve any longer. He won't put the nail to wood in another damned coffin. He sooner roils at the notion, beleaguered enough already by a phantoming weight of a million wakes. He'd rather it were him, Ameridan with the nova in the chasm of his bones — and, well, what if the pleasures of life has lost its luster?

No more funerals. Determined, Gale corrals him closer with a tug at his hand.

"You've really ought to be more careful when making those grand offers of yours," Gale heatlessly remarks. "Otherwise, at the rate I'm supposing you're keen on keeping, I'm afraid that I'd have to insist you keep me had." Naturally. As clearly as the morning, he's endeavoring like a hero for a hint at levity. At any rate, some morself of cheer couldn't hurt them, right? At Gale's tent, an untaken pillow fluffily beckons. "I can't speak to a million lifetimes, unfortunately," he picks up again, "but if you're determined to have me for the one, then I will see to making it feel like a substantial deal more. You know, Waterdeep is lovely during this time of year. As soon as the trees begin to golden, the scene from my tower is unparalleled. You would take to it remarkably. I should like it if you came."

Grabbing his pack, Gale unwraps some delightful little cakes to chew on over wine. "If, of course, you've no plans after all our adventuring. Everyone but you seems to have drafted a manifesto of sorts."

"You speak of charms as though it wasn't obvious when we first met you were the one who has a way with words." They both do, in truth, though in different ways. Ameridan is concise, straightforward --- some have praised him for eloquence on occasion. But language is a tool to him, albeit one he wields with care and grace, whereas for Gale it seems a paintbrush or a lyre, turning his thoughts into the most exquisite art or the sweetest music.

And still the wizard does not even seem to realize what he did with those words, what they meant. "It was enough. It took me through. We are here now, and though we do not know the path ahead we are more prepared for it than before. This hope, this faith --- it is yours. I am returning it."

It is selfish, perhaps. Were the orb his burden, doubtless Ameridan would use it at the first opportunity. He may not be convinced it would work, but he would judge it worth the attempt, because the gain would be so much greater than the loss. If it did work it may save hundreds of lives, thousands perhaps, all those the Absolute would lay claim to while they searched for an alternative. If not, still only a single person would be lost. Like Gale he can see the logic. Like him, he doesn't consider his own life worth more than those hundreds or thousands, even if saving them is only hypothetical.

But it's not his life being offered up in trade, it is Gale's. And Ameridan doesn't want to lose him. This brilliant mind, this passionate heart, those kind yet blazing eyes. Those hands so soft to his skin, that troubled chest. The way he looks at anything beautiful or curious, how a small wonder lights up his face. The way he looks at Ameridan sometimes, the way he finds words of comfort whenever he needs them, the trust he has placed in him. He's not Ameridan's first, just as Ameridan would never be his first. If anything, he may be the last. For Gale is still quite young for a human, and Ameridan is old, and maybe...

maybe it will even out.

Maybe there is no more life left in Ameridan, even if they survive this, than there is in Gale; maybe there is even less. Maybe if they see this through he can be the first to go. Maybe he will no more be the one left behind while friends and lovers die and are buried.

It's selfish, perhaps. But he's tired of being the one left behind. As his hands soften by Gales touch and his heads bows low, he is so tired.

He cannot say these thoughts to Gale, of course. Was he not just speaking of hope? "It was never my design to trap you, but if that is what it takes you keep you here, alive..." Yes, hope. May Tymora grant him enough for the both of them. He lift shis head again and smiles, and his other hand clasp's Gale as though to give him no room to slip away. "... then i will keep you. Not for a million lifetimes, but maybe for one --- and if not, then for now, and as long as you want."