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javigutierrez · 9 months ago

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Are you alright, Honey?

Javi Gutierrez x afab!reader oneshot

Summary: You’re going on a long weekend with your gorgeous new boyfriend, and after a day of unresolved sexual tension out on a roadtrip you’re ready to jump him the second you get home. Unless he finds a movie at the gas station he had been looking for for years and he wants to watch it with you. Will you be able to mask your desire for him, to enjoy a movie that means so much to him? (Spoiler alert no you won’t)

Rating & Word count: Explicit | ~8500 words

Warnings/tags: fluffffff, freshly established relationship, pining like whoa, very explicit smut, f!oral, f!fingering, tons of nipple play, non-penetrative sex (sumata ig?), unprotected penetrative sex, multiple orgasms, allusions to squirting, pleasure dom!Javi vibes, tw alcohol, tw food mention, Javi is a major dumb of ass but he makes up for it, reader has female genitalia, some boobs, and long enough hair to tuck it behind their ear but no other descriptions (let me know if you find anything else!), no age references

A/N: Here it is, after years of contemplating I'm posting my first fanfic in 12 years and my first fanfic in English ever. Please be kind, English is not my first language ❤ This is a huge thing to me, and I wouldn't have been able to get there without the help and encouragement of my lovely friends - I owe a kidney to @psychedelic-ink and @shellshocklove for their tremendous help as my betas, and to @iamasaddie @perotovar @chronically-ghosted @wannab-urs for listening to my bitching and moaning along the way and still staying my loyal cheerleaders 🥺 The whole idea popped into my mind like a movie while editing this gifset (which was inspired by @prolix-yuy’s Javi story, so special thanks to LJ 🥰), that 5th gif corrupting my mind for the next 2,5 months and this was the only way I could finally get it out of my system. 🤡 I hope you'll enjoy it! ❤

This was quite an eventful day. You spent your whole day out with Javi, having a road trip at Côte d’Azur. After a little bit more than a month of dating you had decided to go on a long weekend together, choosing the French coastlines. You had been absolutely amazed by the experience; clear azure waves embracing golden shores, the streets of seaside towns winding through history with beautiful architecture and warm colours, mountain tops lurking on the horizon behind the town. After Javi had told you he would get you into the Cannes movie festival, you were already talking about coming back for a few days.

The sights were unbelievable and the food was delectable, but what really made the trip unforgettable was your new boyfriend. Spending time with Javi was so easy. With him, all your anxiety washed away - his sweet and caring personality was like a soothing balm for your soul, and with his fun-loving side, you really felt like living your life to the fullest. Not to mention how he showed his true colors in the bedroom. Absolutely devoted to your pleasure, he could be worshipping you, making you feel like a goddess, other times he would make you beg, then shower you with praises while he was giving you exactly what you needed. Who would have thought only a few weeks before, when you had started chatting with a stranger waiting in line at the cinema, that he would sweep you off of your feet almost immediately and turn your life upside down in the best way possible?

There you were right now, coming home from another amazing day spent with him, laughing with him, staring at his profile while he was driving, smoothing out his sun-bleached locks tangled up by the wind in the cabrio while he was looking at you all doe-eyed and dopey-smiled. You were holding his hand, feeling his hand on your bare thigh, resting at the hem of your bunched-up sundress comfortably and sometimes you had caught him looking at you with the same intensity. It was safe to say, by the time you got in the car to get home you were ready to jump him.

There was only one tiny thing you hadn’t calculated for when you had been planning your night (or rather imagining it dreamily from all angles): finding a DVD at a gas station. When his eyes fell on the item, he’d looked confused for a few seconds, but then taking it from the shelf and reading the cover his face lit up like a child’s in a candy store.

As it turned out, it was an indie French movie he had watched with his parents back when he was young and they had been on a holiday. They had rarely spent quality time together, so he cherished those few occasions he’d felt like he belonged to an ordinary, loving family. He remembered the time fondly and he always wanted to find the movie because of the nostalgia of it all, but he had forgotten the title and didn’t know the actors, so after a lot of unsuccessful attempts, he’d given up trying.

“Can we watch this tonight? Please?” He looked at you with big brown eyes, enveloping the DVD in his hands, (dwarfing it, really) and pressing it to his heart. And how could you say no to him? If he looked at you like that, you would have agreed to watch a 10-hour-long film about paint drying on a wall.

“Of course, Javi,” you smiled at him gently, your heart melting from his child-like joy as you watched him gallop to the cashier to pay for the gas and the DVD. You pushed the slight disappointment of not being able to climb this gorgeous goofball of a man as soon as you get home, to the back of your mind.

At the end of the day, you were genuinely happy to just spend time with him. You blamed your hormones and the fact that you were still in the honeymoon phase for being pent up all day. You couldn’t help it, but you are a big girl in an adult relationship, you decided, you can have one night without having sex with this tall, broad, gentle but surprisingly strong, passionate, generous, highly skilled–

“Let’s go!” he urged you with an adorable grin and shining eyes, grabbing your hand and tugging you out of the gas station. Your heart swelled from the sight. Yes, you can have a peaceful night if it makes him happy, and you will be just as hyped to watch the movie as him. It did seem like a good movie based on the cover, and you knew it meant the world to him, so you wouldn’t spoil his fun with your neediness.

By the time you got back to your rented house, it was already dark, and the early autumn weather had gotten a bit more chilly. Javi practically jumped out of the car (but still rushed to your side to open your door).

You agreed that you would prepare the snacks and set up the TV, while he would start the fireplace and get a bottle of wine from the cellar. He gave you a soft peck on your lips, one hand resting on the back of your neck, then he pretty much ran to the cellar - you think you even heard him giggling on his way. His enthusiasm was infectious, even though you’d never even heard about the movie before, now you were excited to watch it.

When you found out how to get the DVD to work Javi was already tinkling with the logs on the fireplace, a bottle of wine with two glasses on the kitchen counter already. You let yourself get lost in the sight for a good minute, your cavewoman brain activated by looking at him focusing on his task with his arms flexing, but then you shook yourself from your reveries, going to the American-style kitchen to put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and wash some grapes, then putting the wine on the coffee table next to the couch.

You couldn’t help but steal a few more glances at him. His short-sleeved shirt was now unbuttoned, hanging on his shoulders and your eyes fell on his white tank top straining over his torso. He seemed especially broad like this, and you couldn’t wait to cuddle with him and bury your face in his chest, kissing over the constellations of freckles on his shoulders and chest you were so familiar with by now.

Once the fire was lighting, he looked at you proudly and you beamed back at him. The more his eyes were on you, the more his look grew softer. His gaze full of adoration made butterflies whoosh in your stomach - you were overwhelmed by emotions for this man, sometimes it even made you scared of falling too hard.

“Are you sure you’re okay with watching this movie tonight, cariño?” He asked tenderly, his voice raspy and deep. He walked up to you to put his hands on your waist, caressing you with his thumbs and lowering his head to really look into your eyes. “I know these four days are supposed to be about the two of us.” There was no hurt or any malice in his voice, he was ready to drop the plan the second you said so. It felt like he was staring into your soul and suddenly you felt guilty. You obviously didn’t try hard enough to support him if he felt the need to ask and that made your guts tie up in a knot. You put your hands on the sides of his neck, then lowered them to his shoulders, then his chest. You never broke eye contact.

“Honey, I’m absolutely sure. We had a long day so a movie night is perfect to wind down and this movie seems super interesting! I swear, I can’t wait to start it already!” You rose on your tiptoes and laid an innocent kiss on his lips. He didn’t let you go, holding your face to deepen the kiss and a zap ran through your body as his tongue slipped between your lips to taste you.

You felt his little huff on your upper lip, and you couldn’t resist the quiet moan that escaped your throat. The sound somewhat sobered you up, and you broke the kiss, feeling a little dizzy. He opened his eyes slowly, looking a bit disheveled himself. You had a mission to accomplish, you couldn’t get distracted all the time… you went back up just to give a small kiss on the tip of his nose, which made him smile bashfully, his eyes crinkling adorably.

“Come on baby, let’s start it!”

You grabbed the snacks, but he took them from you with a kiss on your temple, and you both headed to the couch. He put the snacks down on the table and plopped down on the L-shaped furniture as you went on a quick round to light some candles around the room, bathing it in warm colours. You started with the candles in the back and as you worked your way back up you caught him pouring wine into your glasses, then he started to explore the menu of the DVD to set up an English subtitle. With a small sigh, you allowed yourself to indulge yourself in his sight one last time while you were finishing up the candles.

He quite literally took your breath away. His lovely locks you adored to bury your hands into so much, his eyes sparkling from the TV’s light and crinkled with a smile he probably didn’t even notice he had on his face. Your eyes followed the curve of his prominent nose and fell on his lips under his neat mustache. Those pouty lips... you had some vivid memories involving them. The man might look innocent, but he sure knew how to do sin when he wanted to.

He leaned back with his legs propped up and reached out to you. You climbed on top of him and nestled yourself into his chest. He held you close to him, situating himself so you were sitting between his legs, resting your back on his chest.

“Ready, cariño?” He hummed into your neck, pressing a small kiss there. Your blood sizzled under your sensitive skin.

“Never been more ready! Let’s go!”

Javi started the movie and scooted even closer to you, if possible. Strong arms resting on your stomach, caging you in, he nuzzled your neck with a low hum, leaving a trail of kisses up your jaw, finishing with the softest of kisses on your cheek. You felt intoxicated, despite the untouched glasses on the table. His warmth was making your whole body melt, the way his chest rose and fell rhythmically behind you soothed you, and his cologne filled your nostrils with something warm and spicy and citrusy. But below all those layers it smelled uniquely like him, perfectly complementing his perfume. You would recognize it anywhere, after so many times of tasting his skin all over his body – it was the perfect concoction.

He was none the wiser about your… rather delicate situation, eyes glued to the screen, hands absentmindedly caressing your hips and stomach. You tried to focus on the movie, and you were able to catch glimpses of it and laugh at the jokes, but his touches kept distracting you. More often than not you caught yourself looking at his sinewy forearms, the golden watch on his wrist, and the ring on his pinky catching on your dress from time to time. You slowly traced the veins on his arms, and as you tried to focus on the screen again you played with the edges of his watch and ring. He gently caught your hand, intertwining your fingers and raising it to his face for a kiss on your knuckles.

“Some wine?” He murmured sometime later.

You were grateful for the opportunity, slightly going mad from the tension as you were stewing in your juices. He barely finished his question, you were already leaning for the glasses, handing him one. “Oo-kay,” he chuckled at your enthusiasm, albeit a little confused by your behaviour. He paused the movie and sat up at the corner of the couch. You were still between his legs, but you both positioned yourself to turn to each other more at the corner. His left hand held the glass, and his right was on your waist, keeping you close to him. His eyes were glazed over looking at your face and you could only imagine how ridiculously smitten you must have looked like.

“For this perfect day, and for the unexpected gifts it has brought us,” he said, raising his glass.

“For this perfect day, that is about to get even better,” you answered, making him grin with his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

You clinked your glasses and raised it to your lips, him barely tasting the wine through a sip, while you downed the whole glass. Leaning back against the backrest of the couch, you tried to look put together. The taste really was divine, and you had hoped it would help to calm your nerves a bit. Javi was visibly amused looking at you.

“You liked it, huh, cariño?” He asked, getting your glasses and putting them on the table leaning over your legs.

You giggled in response, smiling shyly at him with a small shrug, “It tasted amazing, Javi. It was a great choice.”

“I knew you would love this. Say the word and a box of these will be at my house by the time we get home,” he said, as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ears and kept his hand on the side of your face.

“Consider it said.” You winked at him and he breathed out a silent laugh, but he tilted his head a little with a small frown between his brows, seemingly inspecting you. You had a feeling you had looked a bit nervous, only because you’d tried to clumsily mask your desire for him, wanting to give this night to him to enjoy a movie that meant so much to him but… you clearly weren’t succeeding. You knew he was about to ask you about it, so instead you grabbed the remote before he could speak.

“Shall we?” You asked nonchalantly.

His hand dropped from your face. “Of course,” he said.

He shook his head a little, failing at figuring you out as he leaned back on the couch. You laid down in front of him so you could continue watching the movie while he spooned you, and pressed the play button. You’d hoped that with this new pose, there would be less temptation as you’re not laying on him anymore, but boy, were you wrong.

He hoisted you closer to his body, his hand splayed out on your stomach, and kept you there, almost protectively. Staring at it, you dumbly wondered about how much smaller your torso looked under his hand than your own and that activated something primal in your mind again. You felt his crotch pressed up to your ass, and though he wasn’t hard, it made your cunt throb around nothing. It was so close, yet so far, and you weren’t allowed to do anything about it. Your guts twisted, and you wiggled every few minutes, pressing your thighs together, uselessly fighting the arousal that kept getting more and more suffocating.

A few minutes later he nuzzled at the back of your ear, and the combined sensations of his breath in your ear and the soft tickle of his mustache and stubble made a shudder run through your body, followed by goosebumps everywhere.

“Are you alright, honey?” He murmured, looking at your profile.

“Of course, Javi,” you said, not very convincingly. “Just trying to find the perfect angle.” You explained as you wiggled some more, still staring at the TV, as your thumb gently smoothed across his knuckles to soothe him.

“Right…” he replied.

Whatever he thought, he didn’t say anything else.

However, a few minutes later the hand that had been on your stomach slowly wandered down, below the hem of your sundress, and he gently, but firmly lifted your thigh to fit his between your legs. The movement was so unexpected that you couldn’t hold back a small groan from the pleasure the friction gave you.

“You sure you’re alright?” Javi asked innocently behind your back, his hand now smoothing over the bare skin on your thigh, leaving an electric feeling beneath your skin in its trail. Every single one of his touches made arousal pool between your legs. You silently cursed at your body for growing more and more sensitive, begging for him to come closer.

“Yeah…” you practically squeaked. You were close to your breaking point.

Javi only hummed, his hand stopping to rest it on your stomach again. You were fighting your instincts to rub yourself on his thigh for a few minutes, and you were proud of yourself for resisting, but then he moved between your legs a little, enough to give attention to your aching clit, and the hiss that escaped your lips made him come to a halt.

It felt like the time froze for a few seconds, none of you daring to move. You, trying to take back control over your treacherous body, and him obviously assessing the situation. You mentally did a facepalm as you felt your wet underwear sticking to his pants. He didn’t say anything, but his hand moved down from your stomach and bunched up your skirt. He breathed out your name, almost admonishing, and it made your heart jump. His hand was dangerously close to where you wanted him the most, and as his palm covered your mound, thick fingers reaching your soaked panties, he buried his face in the back of your neck.

“Oh, honey…” he choked. He took a deep inhale, smelling your scent, then suddenly sat up and paused the movie.

“No, Javi, I was watching it!” You wanted to wince at yourself, your act was truly ridiculous at this point.

“None of that, cariño.” He shook his head, turning you on your back with a firm hand on your hip. “You obviously need me, please let me take care of you.”

“It really can wait, I don’t mind!” You protested. You wanted nothing more than for him to touch you, but you didn’t want to be selfish.

“Well, I don’t want to wait!” He declared, his gaze burning you as it fell from your face, scanning your body splayed out in front of him. “What about this: I eat you out, then we can continue the movie. Would that be okay for you?”

You stared at him like a deer caught in a headlight. Is he serious? But his words definitely affected you.

“Please, cariño,” he continued in a gentler tone, his pleading eyes finding yours again. “Let me eat your pretty pussy, now.”

That was the last nail in your coffin, you swore under your breath as you almost went cross-eyed from his words only. “Fffuck, okay… okay let’s do this” you croaked after a few seconds, your defenses crumbling like a house of cards in a tornado.

“Atta girl,” he smirked, and in an instant, he was on top of you.

His fingers found their way into your hair as he put his lips on you, the press of his body a comforting weight on you. His kiss was electric, hot, and sensual. He sucked your lips in with a primal hunger, his tongue licking against the seam of your lips, opening you up to him and claiming your mouth with dominance. You barely noticed the soft sounds coming from your throat, only when you felt the corners of his mouth curl up slightly in a smile. You felt like you had to anchor yourself as you gripped the back of his open yellow shirt so hard, it was protesting against your ministrations on his shoulders.

“Mmmtake—this—off,” you whispered desperately against his all-encompassing kiss.

Javi leaned back, his hair disheveled, to practically tear the shirt off of himself. With a huff through his nose, his eyes gazed at your kiss-swollen lips with hunger. You were out of breath from the intensity of the kiss, panting softly as you took in the sight of him.

He still had his tank top on, your mouth already dropping from the show. His top only accentuated his wide shoulders and narrow waist, and his skin kissed by the firelight was glowing in a golden light, its colours and the way the lights and shadows exaggerated his features made you drool. You could never resist the freckles on his shoulders and chest either. If you weren’t already on the edge of insanity, you would spend hours kissing and biting along his torso, but now clearly none of you had the patience for that.

He came back to you and started suckling on your neck, one of your hands flying to his back to weakly trace the ridges of his shoulder blade, while the other clutched his bicep. Keeping up his ministrations on your neck he gently bunched up your dress above your stomach. His thigh found its way back between your legs and this time you bucked your hips up shamelessly. He groaned as he felt your wet warmth staining his pants and his lips traveled lower. As he trailed your collarbone with the tip of his tongue between his lips, two of his fingers touched you through your panties and you moaned out loud.

“Javi, please!” you whined as he trailed his middle and ring finger up your seam, and tapped on your clit through the soaked textile. You were so worked up, you felt your heart pounding in your ears.

“Shhh cariño, I got you,” he murmured, his voice impossibly low and his breath burning your chest.

His fingers never gave up, but he always kept his touches light, making you throb uncontrollably. You watched him move lower, and you couldn’t decide what to stare at: his lips and tongue molding against your fevered skin, or the dips and hills of his shoulders and biceps flexing as he kept himself up with one arm while torturing you with the other. He traced his tongue around your navel and he looked up at you as he licked over its valley, his fingers mimicking the movement below. He then had the audacity to send you a cheeky wink as your whole body shuddered.

“Fuuuck, stop teasing me, I can’t take it anymore!” you sounded pathetic, but you didn’t care at this point.

“Okay, baby. You earned it.”

He consoled you quietly with a final kiss to your lower stomach, before hooking his fingers into your panties to slowly drag the piece down. If it was anyone else you probably would have felt awkward about how the fabric protested at first, sticking to your cunt, but with Javi, if anything, you felt powerful.

He was visibly trying to compose himself as he gently helped you get both your legs out of the ruined piece and with a shaky exhale he scooted back. He shove a cushion under your ass as he laid down on his belly, navigating your thighs over his shoulders, eyeing your center with blown-out pupils.

“I will never get used to this,” he mused to himself with wonder in his voice, as he splayed his hands across the crease of your ass to softly spread your cunt wide open with his thumbs. You felt his heavy huff on your pussy, and it made you twitch again. He looked captivated by the sight.

“Javi, I swear to go—oohhh my god,” Javi cut you off as the flat of his tongue licked a broad and firm stripe through your folds with a depraved moan.

Your whole body lifted up, and he hooked his arms around your legs, grabbing at the top of your thighs as he held you down, keeping you close to his ravenous mouth. He gave you a few greedy laps, slowly exploring all of your cunt before his tongue lazily went around your hole. Your muscles were twitching, your chest and neck aflame, and if his sight weren’t so hypnotizing you would have thrown your head back already. You felt boneless.

Your abs shaking from the strain of keeping you upright, you grabbed a few cushions you could reach from your position, and shoved them under your head, angling yourself perfectly to watch him at work. He was licking at you tirelessly, mapping all your sensitive spots, before he started to fuck you with his tongue, slowly but deliberately grazing your walls all around.

You let out a raspy moan at the sensation - he was the first person who had ever done this to you and you were still surprised by it every single time. The feel of his agile muscle prodding at your sensitive flesh made your vision blur and sweat gather around your temple. He went as deep as possible, and after an inhale he buried his nose in your clit, slightly moving it left and right. You felt him everywhere as if he was surrounding your entire body. One of your hands grabbed a cushion so tightly, it made your knuckles ache, your other hand finding purchase in his soft locks.

You were scraping his scalp with your fingernails, and he practically purred, the sounds vibrating against your raw flesh, starting a fire in your guts as goosebumps erupted on your skin. You couldn’t help pulling at a handful of hair as your pussy spasmed around his deft tongue. His purr turned into a growl as he removed himself, gulping some air still a few inches away from your cunt. Your hands lifelessly plopped down around you.

“Fuck, cariño, I won’t ever get enough of you,” his speech was slurred like he was drunk and he looked up at you with disoriented eyes. “You taste so good, I would happily drown in you.”

You wanted to react, you really did, but as he was talking one of his hands left your thigh and traced an invisible pattern down the apex of your thighs, fingers traveling through your cunt and gathering your juices, then reaching their destination, a thick digit slipping into you just when you wanted to answer him. Whatever you wanted to tell him, he rendered you speechless with literally a swipe of his finger. The cracking of the fire and the slick sounds of your pussy were the only noises around you, until you felt his mouth on you again. He lapped up the juices escaping you around his finger, sucking on your lips with obscenely loud noises. You wanted to cover your face because you suddenly felt self-conscious, but his free hand grabbed your wrist as you heard him call your name brokenly.

“Please don’t hide away from me, I want to see your face as I bring you pleasure,” he pleaded, his accent a bit stronger than usual.

The mere look of him was debauched, all messy-haired and shiny-faced, looking at you like you hung the moon and the stars in the sky. Your heart skipped a beat, and you held onto his hand, his thumb tracing reassuring circles on your knuckles immediately. Your other hand smoothed his unruly hair out of his face, and he went back, keeping eye contact with you.

“Look at me,” he rasped one last time before diving in.

He dragged his tongue up between your folds as his finger started moving again. He looked up at you the entire time from under his lashes, eyes half-lidded. As he reached your clit you jumped a little, and he opened his mouth wider so you could see his tongue moving against the tortured little nub with a small wiggle. You had to compose yourself not to let your eyes roll back, the sight somehow multiplying the already devastating sensation tenfold.

“You’re so fucking good to me, Javi,” you uttered, caressing his hair and you could see a shiver running down his spine. “I’m so—so—“

“I know, mi amor, I can feel it. Let go for me.”

He groaned and sucked your clit into his mouth, laving it with his tongue. You squealed, not knowing if you wanted to escape from his ministrations or let him consume you. You tried to trash around but his hands came up and covered the bottom of your stomach, holding you down again. You had half the mind to notice him slowly grinding onto the couch, but then you felt his tongue swirling around the sensitive nub, along with his finger rubbing that perfect spot inside you again, and you felt like a lightning struck you.

All your muscles seized up as white-hot pleasure coursed through your veins. At first, you couldn’t even breathe, let alone make a sound, but then a groan tore out from the depth of your chest and you fell back on the couch lifelessly. Javi never let up licking at you, prolonging your catharsis, not stopping even when you tried to squirm away from oversensitivity.

“No, no wait—“ you pleaded with a shaky voice to no avail. Everything was too much, but you couldn’t escape from his iron grip. Javi greedily explored all your sensitive spots around your swollen vulva and hole with firm strokes, before he found the button of your clit again, sucking on it harshly dragging you under the waves of ecstasy for a second time that night with a squeak. His mouth was sucking at you relentlessly through the helpless spasms of your body, draining all the energy from you and filling your brain with fuzzy cotton. You fell back limply, muttering nonsense while his mouth gently cleaned you up.

You had no idea how long you were just laying there uselessly, basking in the afterglow with Javi still between your legs. His face rested on the plush of your thigh, his breathing slow but heavy, his eyes closed and his hands flexing.

Once your wits came back to you, you noticed a faint dent on your thigh from Javi’s ring, a thought of how you wanted to tattoo it on your skin filled your mind – to keep it there forever.

You played with his hair again, curling a silky strand around your finger by scraping little circles on his scalp. As if you woke him up from a stupor, he looked up at you, breathing now almost normal, but his pupils were still blown out. He wiped his face on your inner thigh, then kissed and sucked off the remnants of your wetness there and you giggled, his facial hair tickling you. He crawled up your body with a smile across his face, before he laid next to you. You immediately followed him, decorating the hot skin on his shoulders and collarbone with lazy, open-mouthed kisses. He weakly pawed at your waist to bring you closer to him, then dragged the bottom of your dress over your thighs to give you some decency.

“Sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted,” he pondered and gently pinched your ass. You snickered as you playfully swatted his chest, before laying your head on his pecs. His heart was beating wildly and it made you swoon, so much so that you had to lay a soft kiss between his pecs, just above the hem of his top before nuzzling even more into his blushed chest, as a content sigh fell from your lips. Your gaze couldn’t help but fall to his bulge - he was visibly affected by your previous endeavors.

“Javi…” you whispered in his neck, while your hand gently caressed his stomach. You felt his heavy exhale under you. “If you want… we can continue…”

“Oh! Of course, cariño!” he said, perking up, reaching out for the remote control and pushing the play button again, eyes immediately glued on the screen.

You laid there, having a mental tantrum. Well, things weren’t going the way expected. How can he still be thinking about the movie?

Squashing that ugly disappointment down, you turned in his arms to try to focus on the TV again. You weren’t allowed to complain, he said he would make you cum and you would continue the movie, and he did just that and more. You couldn’t help the ravenous hunger you had for this man though, it was never enough of him. You laid a soft kiss on his bicep below your head and your arm reached behind to gently shove him back against you. He followed you diligently, but he tensed as his bulge, now hard, rested against your ass again.

“I’m sorry honey, I’ll just need a minute,” he apologised quietly, voice strained from embarrassment and barely veiled desire.

The devil on your shoulder took over you as you rolled your hips against him slowly but deliberately. The filthy sound coming from deep in his chest melted your bones, making it hard to keep back your own needy whine.

“Wh—what are you doing?”

His strong grip on your hip felt like a warning, but his voice was so weak. That’s what made you throw all your culture out the window, giddy roiling in your guts from feeling him get fully erect against you. You barely registered your hand moving mindlessly, grinding your palm against him. His hand clenched around your forearm easily, but he didn’t move it away.

“I need you, Javi,” you begged shamelessly, turning your head back in his direction as much as possible.

“Fuck…” he breathed, eyes closed shut with a loud gulp. When he opened his eyes again his gaze was intense, one of his hands cradling your face as he propped himself up on his elbow to look deeply into your eyes. “I thought you wanted to watch the movie…”

That made you freeze with confusion, even your hand stopped moving over him.

“…me?” You asked incredulously. “I mean yeah, it does seem like a great movie and I’d happily watch it any other time, but I couldn’t wait to be alone with you the entire day. I’ve wanted to eat you up since we crawled out of bed this morning. But I’m happy to do anything as long as I’m with you– and you looked so happy to find that movie… I don’t know… I just didn’t want to ruin your joy with my neediness, I guess” you confessed hastily with warm cheeks.

A soft sound of surprise got stuck in his throat as he looked at you with saucer eyes, gaping like a fish. It looked rather comical if you were honest. If you didn’t feel so sheepish about your clumsy confession, you would have giggled at his expression.

He shook his head lightly, as if processing your words. “So that’s why you were acting so weird tonight!” He exclaimed, relief evident on his face. He breathed out your name softly, his thumb caressing your face ever so gently.

“I felt the same way the entire day. I got distracted by finding the movie, I give you that, but up until that moment, I was contemplating taking you in the bathroom in every single place we visited. Even in the car, consequences be damned,” he huffed, and you had to clench your thighs to alleviate the need growing between them again from the mental image.

“Cariño, I have the DVD now, I can watch it whenever I want!” He tutted, “I swear, one day I’m gonna write a screenplay for you to be the lead in it, you’re such a talented actress. You seemed so eager to watch this movie that I felt guilty for trying to distract you,” he smoothed a strand of hair behind your ear with a chuckle, “I suppose both of us were fools…”

You couldn’t hold back a rather unsexy snort at that, but it made him beam at you with crinkling eyes.

He cupped your jaw and leaned over to press a sweet kiss on your lips, but it immediately grew hungry. The stark difference between his precious face and the taste of yourself still on his tongue made a shudder run through your body.

Javi can really do both, you thought dreamily, but you were quickly snapped back to reality when he rolled you on top of him and deepened the kiss as he slowly sat up, helping you to position yourself on your knees around his hips. He planted his feet on the couch and grabbing your bare asscheeks firmly he dragged your pulsing center down on his bulge.

Your hands flew to his hair, arms resting on his shoulders, feeling like passing out when you felt his cock twitch against your bare pussy, tearing a low hiss out of him. He bunched up and gripped your dress around your torso.

“This little dress was teasing me all day,” he groaned, slowly pulling down the zip on your back, the edge of his thumb caressing your bare spine in the process. “It looks fantastic on you, honey, but I need to see all of you, right now.”

By the time he finished his thought, he already tugged it off of you, your breast jiggling in front of his face from the impact of falling out of the secure hold of the dress, his heavy gaze falling to them immediately, your body now bare in his lap.

“Oh god, look at you… tan bonita,” he murmured as his hands slid over your ribs firmly, before they slipped under your breasts with a feather-light touch.

He cupped the mounds gently as his thumbs smoothly explored the skin. The pad of his fingers traced your areola, then softly rubbed over your sensitive nipples. You arched your back, leaking some more wetness on his trousers as you rubbed yourself heavier on him. One hand molded a breast into his waiting mouth, tongue wiggling around the achy nub and the other slipping down your shivering stomach, across the top of your thigh and teasing at your seam across your ass.

The suckling sensation on your nipple, while his hand was prodding teasingly at your swollen entrance made you go insane. You had to center yourself around something. You clasped the back of the couch tightly, using it as support as you pushed your chest more in his face. Without hesitation, you vigorously moved your clit against his bulge, your head arched back in ecstasy.

His wrecked moan was the prize, your breast slipping from his lips as you watched a tremor course through his entire body. Once he came back to his senses he doubled down his efforts, nuzzling the other breast and sucking the pebbled nipple in his hot mouth.

His tongue started to swirl around the hardened nub at the same time as two of his fingers drowned in your slick pussy, finding your most sensitive spot with devastating accuracy. Your mind went blank, and your gasps came out in hiccups. Your instincts took over as you were riding his bulge with trembling legs, chasing your blinding pleasure. You only had enough wits to sit back to undo his belt, ripping off his fly, and with his help, you were able to push his pants down his thighs, freeing his erect cock.

His hand grasped the base and gently tapped it against your sensitive clit, and your hips started moving again, trapping his length under your pussy as you continued to slide over him. He softly bit on your nipple in response which blazed off fireworks in your lower stomach, his other hand never stopping its brutal pace grinding against your most sensitive spot. You were so close to cumming you could practically taste it on your tongue.

“Feels so good—,“ your voice was desperate, and he let out a wrecked moan around your breast.

The soft pulling sensation, coupled with the warm, wet caresses of his mouth on your nipple, the expert touch of his fingers on your g-spot, and the tantalizing friction of your clit rubbing against the ridges of his cock, quickly sent you spiraling into a world of ecstasy and pleasure. You came with a wail, your back arching and eyes rolling back. You faintly felt Javi’s hands at the base of your back and along your spine, keeping you close to him while his eyes feasted on you falling apart for him. You fell back on his shoulders, weakly grasping at his elbows as his palms caressed your back and he showered your neck with small kisses, humming quietly between them.

“You did so well, you’re fucking amazing,” he breathed against your skin, as you felt your pulse slow down a bit. He kissed a path down your sweaty chest and came back the same route. After some blissful peace, you felt his cock twitch against you and you whined.

“Do you have one more in you, mi amor? We can rest,” Javi asked gently, his eyes searching for yours.

Bless his heart, he made you come three times and he would finish the night here and there, hard as a rock. Your body was still buzzing and you felt sore from his thick fingers but one look at his sinful state was enough to get you in the mood again.

His lovely locks were now sticking to his face, the perspiration on his chest only making him glow even more. His mouth was agape, plush lower lip kiss-swollen, and his dark eyes silently pleading with you. Instead of giving him an answer, you gripped the hem of his tank top and peeled the offending item off of him as he held up his arms, helping you and keeping his lustrous eyes on yours.

Resting your hands on the top of his chest you kissed down his neck, between his collarbones. Sitting back lower on his legs, you could trace your tongue between his pecs and down to his soft stomach. You couldn’t help but kiss around his little belly, giving him a playful bite which made him jolt with a small laugh. Your finger traced the soft patch of hair below his navel, and understanding your silent request, he kicked down the remaining of his clothes while you kneeled on the side.

You were fascinated as you watched his cock in all its glory, shiny from your juices, precum already leaking from the angry, red tip. Your mouth watered at the sight, and you were already in motion to have a taste for yourself when he stopped you, gently putting his hands around your arms.

“It pains me to stop you, but the second I feel your mouth on me, I would be a goner.” His husky voice was layered with desire. “C’mere, I need to be inside you,” he added, and you almost jumped on him.

You crawled back over his hips while he pumped his cock a few times, his veins bulging in his cock and forearms. It was one of the hottest things you’ve ever seen and you filed the idea for later exploration. You went lower on him and he smeared his member over your slit, covering him in your juices generously again, then he prodded the head at your entrance.

“Come on, cariño, let me feel you, please,” he growled, and you carefully descended down on him.

You were over quite a few nights with him, but your pussy still struggled to accommodate his size, especially now that you were still sore and sensitive from earlier. The struggle felt like a pinch and you whined, but he cradled your face and kissed your forehead.

“It’s okay honey, take your time,” he whispered and let you take the lead for the moment.

He caressed everywhere he could reach. He sucked two fingers into his mouth and lead them to your clit, ever so slightly drawing circles around it. At first, it felt like a needle stab, but a few seconds later it turned into pleasure. You swallowed more of him with a quiver. You felt so full, even though you were still a few inches apart from sitting down completely.

His tongue found your breasts again, laving at the skin with bites and kisses alternating between them, tongue chasing your puffy nipple with confident laps. When he sucked in your soaked bud to bite down on it your cunt bottomed out, swallowing his cock entirely as a fresh wave of slickness coated his base. He tore away from your glistening nipple, burying his face between your breasts with a heavy groan.

“You’re so fucking tight around me,” he rasped into your damp chest. “You were made for me. And your skin is so fucking silky.”

Just to prove his point, his greedy tongue made its way up your chest, across your neck and jaw and to claim your mouth in a hedonistic kiss, as his hands grabbed the meat of your ass; not to force you to move, but to ground himself.

The kiss was a little clumsy, but no less toe-curling, his tongue exploring your mouth and teeth clashing as you started to rise and fall against him. You felt so full, as if he was in your guts. Your lungs burned as you felt more and more overwhelmed by the inferno in your body. You broke away from him only to lay back, hands grabbing his shins while continuing to move up and down on his cock.

The new angle was exhausting, but it rubbed your insides from just the perfect direction, and your vision blurred from the sensation. From this angle he had the best view of his cock disappearing in your puffy cunt, then appearing again, covered in your juices. Javi was hypnotized by the sight, his mouth dropping, and eyebrows knitted tightly together.

“That’s it, use me, just like that,” he grunted, trapped under your spell over him.

Heavy-lidded eyes followed your every move, and as he reached out to touch your overworked clit again your thighs started to tremble so hard that you couldn’t continue gyrating against him. He swore under his breath as you throbbed around him another time, and you leaned over his body to grab his shoulders.

He prompted you to rise higher on your knees above him as he secured his feet on the surface of the couch. One arm braced himself next to his torso, while the other slipped up your back to grab your shoulder from the back, and he started to pound into you mercilessly, stealing your breath. You could barely stay in place, so you grabbed the backrest of the couch as you felt tears pricking your eyes from the intensity.

“Are you close, baby? I’m so close but I need you to come first,” he strained, seemingly every muscle in his body tensing from the exertion.

He looked like a sculpture of a deity from ancient times, especially when his head fell back, the thick column of his gorgeous neck on full display. You could only nod, not being able to even form a coherent thought anymore as your desperate whines became constant. He raised his head again - he couldn’t keep his gaze away from where you connected, his face almost looked angry from the concentration.

“Fuckfuckfuck, rub your clit for me,” he roared, and you followed his order immediately.

Almost as soon as you touched your clit, you started shuddering violently with a loud and raspy cry, tears running down your face as he kept grazing your g-spot with every powerful thrust. You felt possessed as your entire body short-circuited, and your ears started ringing. You faintly registered his load painting your walls as your throbbing core milked him dry, his growl echoing in your ears.

You collapsed on him like a ragdoll, your sweaty bodies colliding as he kept you close to his chest. As you came back to your wits a few minutes later you felt raw and weak and vulnerable, but it was okay because Javi was there, embracing you with strong arms and gentle kisses across your face, swiping away your tears. His body was like a shelter as you clung to him with all your limbs and he kept you safe from whatever was happening outside of your bubble.

“Are you okay?” He whispered, your name falling from his lips like a prayer as his hand smoothed over your hair while his body swayed you gently.

“I’m… I’m more than okay,” you croaked, still feeling boneless as you weakly clasped into his body. “Thank you, this was a spiritual experience.” He huffed a small laugh at that.

“You are incredible,” he cooed.

You lazily nuzzled deeper into his neck with a hum, letting his scent calm your frayed nerves down. You stayed like that, limbs intertwined for a while, before Javi reluctantly pulled out of you, making the both of you groan as he gently helped you to lay on your back and he hurried to the bathroom in all his naked glory.

He came back soon, but that little time was enough for you to realize that your thighs and mound were drenched. That explains the out-of-body experience.

Javi sat down next to you, a warm and wet washcloth in his hand. He cleaned you up with reverence, eyeing the marks he had left over your body. He seemed worried, but you wore them with pride.

“That’s very kind of you, but I think we will need to shower anyway,” you smiled bashfully, and he placed a smooth kiss on your forehead.

“I wasn’t sure if you had enough energy for that,” he rasped.

“If you help me, it won’t be an issue,” you sat up slowly, your coordination akin to a newborn foal, his hand held out to help you to stand.

“Of course, cariño.”

His warm eyes made your knees buckle, this time not from your physical activities. As if on cue, the credits rolled on the screen with a blaring sound, and both of you jerked your head in its direction with alarm, obviously forgetting about the movie going in the background the entire time. You looked back at each other with wide eyes, laughter erupting out of you at the same time.

“So, you wanna watch the movie when we get back home?” He snickered.

“Definitely!” You perked up at the prospect of spending more time with him after your getaway. Besides, now it was your mission to finally really watch the movie. “Unless you’ll need me again,” you added, wiggling your eyebrows at him. He chuckled and smacked your ass gently.

“I was hoping for that answer.”

—————

THE END.

Thank you for reading! Reblogs & feedbacks are highly appreciated ♥️

#are you alright honey?#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #javi gutierrez #javi gutierrez fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #javi gutierrez smut #javi gutierrez x reader #javi gutierrez x f!reader #javi gutierrez x you #javi guterrez oneshot #fanna writing

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hotxcheeto · 1 year ago

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Hi hi !

Can you please write a vi x female reader where vi always cooks for her and the reader wants to reward her while she’s cooking if you know what I mean ? 😇😏

━ 𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Vi x Fem!Reader

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Smut, v fingering ( vi receiving ), kisses? ig, mentions of being really exhausted/tired/overworked, top!reader, bottom!vi

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖��𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - short and sweet, didn't really know how else to add to it lol, ty sm!!

REBLOG MY WORK! I WORK HARD & IT'S APPRECIATED!!

It smelt so good the moment you stepped through the threshold of your home. A sigh subconsciously leaving your mouth while you shut the door and began slipping off your shoes feeling the relief almost immediately.

You'd been working more than you had in a long time, more than Vi had in the past few months leaving her to watch after the home while you spent long days making money.

Then you'd waddle in exhausted at the very end of the day, sometimes too sleepy to even eat a snack or shower leaving her to wake up extra early to make you breakfast and give you a shoulder massage while you ate.

She was always a gem when you'd get back, taking care of you and making sure you were comfy to sleep over giving you a bath when you were just too tired to wash your own body.

God you were so deprived of actual conversation you wondered how she felt after having to care for you for so long. Thankfully though, for the next few long while you wouldn't have to work to get paid since an accident had happened fucking you over big time.

Working on the upside had it's benefits, mostly due to the fact that half the things were illegal and they'd do anything to keep you quiet.

Fuck it, vacation time.

"Hey pretty girl." You rounded the corner, grinning at the sound of her voice making Vi smile at your lopsided expression. "Hi Vi."

God she looked so good standing at the stove in her tank top and sweats, her muscles flexing while she gripped the spoon in her hand.

You wanted nothing more than to hug her, wrapping your arms around her torso, burying your face into her back as she moved while stirring something on the stove. Her other hand shifting to rest on your wrist while humming.

"Go take a shower, I got this." She must've been so lonely in the past while when you worked. Your nails running over her abdomen while you sat in deep though about how much touch she's missed.

"Hm." Was all she heard you say, eyes flickering down when your fingertips moved to the band of her sweatpants. "I miss you." Spoken in a non-past tense it was surprising for her, her want suddenly coming rushing to the forefront of everything.

You could hear her breathing quietly hitch, trying not to give it away by coughing directly after. Though, it was a bit more obvious then she or you were ready to admit.

"You miss me?" You questioned, fiddling with the very top of her boxers that stuck out from her pants. "Yeah, of course I did." You kissed her bicep, sneaking your hand just the slightest lower.

"How much longer with the food?" You asked, slipping into her layers and running your hand over her lower belly. "A while, that's why I said to-" You went lower, catching her off guard and stealing away her breath along with the rest of her sentence.

"I'll be quick, I promise." You inched just a little bit closer to her slit, waiting for her nod of approval which didn't take long to come.

Her head moved and so did your hand, fingertip running tiny circles around her bundle of nerves making her let out a small noise. It had been so long for the both of you, you had been enjoying just watching her subtle reactions as you moved.

The way it got harder and harder to focus on cooking, it would be okay to stop stirring for a few moments, right? She decided yes when you moved faster, moving down to tease her hole before moving back up. Going back and forth between these two motions.

"Fuck Y/n..." She held the counter as to not burn herself, her face hot from both the steam and your movements. "Don't stop..."

"M'not gonna." You sang, picking up your pace.

She was so close already, after not having been touched it was like a cliff was asking for her to fall off. Choking back something you could compare to a moan while her legs shook in place. It was hard to even stand as you worked her over the edge, enjoying her trying to swallow her whimpers.

She was so fucking close, you just needn't stop and she'd come right there and then. All thoughts other than you were abandoned, and a low groan trickled from her throat, hips grinding towards your fingers.

Her orgasm washed over her before she got a moment to tell you, not that you hadn't noticed. Smiling and kissing her arm a few times while fingering her through her climax.

"Holy shit, cupcake." Vi breathed, grabbing the spoon while half stirring whatever she was making, the rest of her attention elsewhere. "Don't burn the food Vi.." You sang in response, turning around and beginning to walk away.

"Where you going?" She sounded disappointed, watching you waltz your way to the bathroom.

"I gotta shower, remember?"

"Of course."

#vi x yn #arcane vi x reader #vi x y/n #vi x reader #vi smut #vi imagine #nevy writes

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rosie-b · 1 year ago

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🦮 fill this empty space (ask game)

(link to the summary)

This turned out to be... longer than a snippet, and like the summary, angstier than I expected. It's been that kind of week ig! But there's a promising ending because I needed one :)

It had been a warm summer day when the old Marinette died.

The new Marinette woke up surrounded by golden light, soft, green grass, and the soft murmurings of a stream in northern France. It was perhaps the best way for her rebirth to happen, in a calm, relaxing environment far from the place she somehow knew was home.

She met her family there. They already knew her, and called her "maman," or "ma femme," or "my lady."

Marinette was no one's lady. She never had been, but according to video evidence and the testimony of her husband and children and best friend, that was one of the many roles her past self had filled.

Marinette did not know how to fill any of those old roles anymore. But because of the secret, magical way she'd chosen to lose her memories, she couldn't let anyone know this fact. She had to study years worth of business lessons in mere weeks, preparing for her return to Paris and the international company she would soon be in charge of running again.

At least her past self had accounted for this new Marinette's incompetence. But no one else seemed to see that she wasn't the same woman she had been once, back when a kwami lived in her purse and villains of the day (and year) kept plaguing Paris.

Adrien, the man past-Marinette had married, professed to still be in love with her. He saw some of the differences between the new Marinette and the old one, but claimed they weren't nearly as big as Marinette thought they were. And he chose to spend most of his time around her, so maybe he was right. He whispered praises for each small thing she did, both when they were alone and in public; took the time to learn her new habits; made her fresh coffee for when she woke up two hours after he did; stayed out of her bed to help her feel comfortable.

Marinette could see why her past self had loved him. It was something both halves of her were beginning to share, a love for this man who found a way to bring joy to her life even when it had been turned upside down.

But it didn't change the fact that the new Marinette was not the same woman he'd married. That fact was written into the vows Adrien and the past Marinette had exchanged; the way they had split up their chores; the daily schedule that Adrien still remembered while the new Marinette did not.

To Marinette, this new self of hers was nothing more than a facade made to cover the void her past self had left behind. She was thirty years old and as empty inside as a newborn baby, with no memories to guide her through this unfamiliar world.

Marinette was an icon, the magazines said. A paragon of virtue in an age of corruption, one half of both Paris' favorite couples, a woman who managed to be a world-famous CEO and an attentive mother at the same time.

That wasn't the new Marinette's reality. She didn't even know her children's middle names, though she was learning their favorite desserts, sports, and hobbies.

Most days, it was like learning a foreign language, and it felt just as isolating when she got something wrong or tried to remember something she thought she knew but actually didn't. Sometimes, this new life of hers was crushing, a drain on her already empty self, taking the last bit of Marinette out of her.

But not always.

As out of place as Marinette felt in her own life, the people in it still felt right somehow. They'd been there for her when she woke up; they were there to hug and comfort her when she cried in the night, to help teach her about her own life and tell her about theirs, and to listen when she said she felt different. They loved her, that much was clear, and they promised to love her no matter which Marinette she was; the old one with all her memories or the new one just fumbling through life.

And somehow, even though she claimed not to feel anything more for them than for other strangers at first, Marinette still loved them back. Their presence soothed the ache she felt in her chest, the one she felt when she couldn't remember, and she found herself more than missing them when they weren't there. She looked forward to hearing about their day, to learning their middle names; she held on to the facts they told her about themselves like sweet gifts of gold and honey, like they were all she needed to survive, to fill the empty space her memories had left behind.

The new Marinette was not the old one, and she never would be.

But maybe that was okay. The new Marinette had her own space, too; it began here, in this remote, rural town near the seashore, and it would expand back to Paris, to the place where the old Marinette had lived.

Marinette's home had always been her family, the people she loved. That was something she knew without having to remember it, and something she was more sure of every day.

So she studied the journals her past self had written, re-learned how to design, baked bread beside Adrien, sang songs with her children and stayed by their side. If her mind was an empty slate, then she was going to fill it with love, the same love she'd chosen before and was choosing again.

And someday, this new Marinette would feel whole again.

Thanks for the ask! I hope you enjoyed <3

#ask game #anon #sooo some backstory #this au takes place in the future obviously #after adrien and marinette got married and had those three or four kids they want #marinette didn't want to give up her memories #but they finally got all the miraculous back and the celestial guardian said she had to #(i don't usually vibe with that happening but hhhh it's been a week)#so marinette picked a time and place where she'd feel safest giving up her memories and took her family with her on vacation #gave up the guardianship and gave herself the rest of the vacation to figure out what exactly she'd forgotten and who she is #she doesn't have to stay with adrien and the kids. like they accepted she might want to leave #and sometimes she wants to #but ultimately she's choosing them and they're choosing her and she's starting again #as a new Marinette and as the old one who still lives in her even if she can't see it herself #she's always Marinette and she will always have a place in the world and with her family #ps: if you are still reading. let me know if I should put this on ao3 or not ^^#rosie-b writing #adrinette #ml au #ml fanfic

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pumpkinsy0 · 2 months ago

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Pony and Curly are soo stupid I love them so very much. Hc it takes them forever to actually recognize their feelings for one another cause they’ll be like “he’s just fun to mess with” or “we’re just close friends”. Like oh my GOD just KISS ALREADY. Curly yapping about Ponyboy to his siblings with every breath and then proclaiming he doesn’t like guys, he just likes hanging with Pb. Pony confusing his feelings for annoyance because Curly IS an annoying fucker. “God he is so annoying; I can’t get him out of my head”. They’ll do dumb stuff like learn the other’s favorite food or drink and then deny it like their life depended on it if questioned

Anyways hiiii do you remember that post you made a while back with Spider-Man PaperCut hcs,,, do you perhaps have any more to spare,,,,,

i DO remember that post and i DO have more hcs to spare

•curly does have spidey senses and he uses them to his advantage during fights, but if hes play fighting w pony sometimes he’ll b nice and wont rlly react in time to level out the playing field and give pony a chance

•his spidey senses also makes curly pretty good at gambling and he wouldnt tell ANYONE this, everyone just thinks hes regularly cheating which ig isnt too wrong, they just cant prove it, pony REFUSES to play any card games w the bastard

•do yall think he purposely stuck his and ponys hands together,,why not their whole bodys together actually

•once he decided to b an extra creep and crawl on the walls of ponys room after getting in through the window to sneak in and ponys never felt such fear as he has in that one moment before, all he saw was a blob

•apologies to all the “curlys shorter than pony” luvrs out there, bc of that spider bite, curly actually had a growth spurt and is taller than pony here and hes so annoying about it

•im pretty sure spidermans blood just always flows in one direction no matter what, and thats y he can stay upside down for so long, and i promise u, curly us juat always upside down, hes jump scared pony so many times by just dropping down, but even when talking hes just,,,,upside down at times, usually on the monkey bars in a playground

•he really only needs a few hours of sleep, so when ponys just cannot sleep, curlys up w him trying to get him to lose his energy, if ponys sleeping he just,,,,watches

•which is a lil scary cause if the moon reflects just right and ponys up, curlys eyes can shine and jesus fucking christ does that wake u up😭

•hes really good at gymnastics now and pretty flexible, AND he can self heal, which is great for him bc the main reason y pony didnt teach him flips n stuff was bc he was scared curly would just bust his ass, and hes not wrong, but now he can do flips AND more and heal pretty quickly, be teases pony about being better

•IMMMM giving curly retractable stingers and yes, he DOES use them in fights but most importantly he uses them to poke pony w in the middle of class to see him jump

#curly shepard #ponyboy curtis #purly #PaperCut ship

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farfromharry · 2 years ago

Text

Enough is enough | Eddie Munson fic

Summary: Eddie turns himself in after deciding he doesn’t want to be on the run forever

Word count - 4590

Warnings - angst ig

a/n - sorry for dying lol, this was in my drafts

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

You were well aware that life was unable to stay exactly how it was in the moment you were in right now. In your own little bubble, with Eddie by your side. Just the two of you under an old, raggedy blanket, on a mattress in Dustin Henderson’s basement, wrapped in each other’s arms. So close to his face, you could see every tiny detail of his face. Those big brown eyes, the way his lashes curled, and the few sparse freckles dotting his nose. Neither of you felt like you needed to say anything. Despite all the crazy shit that had been happening over the last few days, you both felt at peace when you were with one another like this. You didn’t know how many more opportunities like this you were going to get with your lover.

“I’m tired,” he muttered, breaking the silence with tears brimming in his water line at the thought of what he was about to admit. It didn’t help when he looked at you– only made things feel so much more real. You were looking at him with the utmost sympathy, your hand tangled in his hair, scratching at his scalp as you attempted to make him feel comforted. “I’m so fucking tired.”

You frowned. These awful things couldn’t have happened to a sweeter angel of a person. “I’m so sorry, Eddie.”

You wanted to be closer to him, as close as you could possibly be. You leaned your forehead against his, uncaring about the tears that were making their way from the corner of his eyes and hitting your skin. He briefly closed his eyes, his lashes tickling the tops of your cheeks as he did so. If it had been any other situation, maybe you would have laughed at the feeling, but you didn’t think it was the right time. He didn’t need laughter, he needed his name cleared.

“What did I do?” he whispered. “What did I do to deserve this?”

He sounded so distraught that your heart clenched. No one had really taken the time to ask how he was doing, everything was too chaotic. He had just had his life turned upside down, in more ways than one, and he was sort of expected to just take it all in and move on. “You did nothing, Eds. Sometimes awful things happen to good people,” you told him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You don’t deserve any of this.”

He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. The gesture forced a few tears out of the corners of his eyes. “I don’t know how long I can keep this up. How long I can– Can give up my life to hide from everyone.”

Your brows pulled together in confusion. “What do you mean?” Wherever he was going with this didn’t sound good.

“What if I turn myself in?” he suggested. He had been thinking it over for the last few days. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate everything people were trying to do for him over the last few days, but it was too much. He didn’t know how much longer he was able to keep up the front of optimism. He was being hunted by an entire town for something he didn’t even do, how was anyone supposed to react to that? Let alone live through and try and continue like everything was going to be okay in the end.

The words felt like a stab to the chest. “What?” That sounded like the worst possible idea someone could have.

He couldn’t bear to look at you. He knew what he said was inherently selfish, but he thought he deserved to be a little selfish right now considering the weight of the stuff he was going through at the moment. “I don’t want to run away any more. I’m tired, a-and I think it’d be better if I give myself up.”

“I- A-Are you sure?” Part of you wanted to get angry and run away, yell at him for trying to do something that would not only ruin his life forever, but a handful of other people’s as well. You knew that wouldn’t solve anything though, and he was probably already feeling terrible as it is. If this was what he wanted, then this was his life, his decision and you would support him. “Eddie, they think you murdered multiple people. You could be in jail for a long time if we can’t figure out how to help. Can’t you give us some more time to try and figure this out?”

His head turned, eyes peering into yours for the first time in a while. “I don’t know how much longer I can pretend things are okay.”

You were silent for a while. He was trying to gauge your reaction to what he had just admitted to you, but he was coming up empty. Usually he could read you pretty well, but right now you didn’t want to be read. You were worried he would be able to see the real emotions you were feeling, rather than the ones you were pretending to have to make him feel better. You refused to be another person that would make him feel guilty for existing.

“First thing tomorrow, then?” you suggested. “I want to spend tonight just pretending everything’s fine.”

He forced a smile on his face, despite the underlying feelings of anxiety lingering in his chest. Just because he had chosen to do this, didn’t mean he was all that confident in his decision, it was a terrifying thing to think about. “I can do that.”

Conversation came to a close quickly after that. Neither of you wanted to spoil the last moments you were going to have together more than they already have been. Instead you just laid there together, clinging to one another with the ideas of what was to happen tomorrow morning lingering in the back of your mind. If he felt the few tears that soaked through his shirt, he didn’t say anything to you. That was for the best, you really didn’t want him to feel bad.

“I love you,” you whispered. Your voice sounded so weak that he almost rethought his decision, but he knew it was for the best. He couldn’t drag you or his friends into this any longer, you didn’t deserve to be accomplices to the stuff he was accused of. It wasn’t fair to any of you.

“I love you too.”

»»——⍟——««

At some point you must have fallen asleep, though you didn’t remember doing so. All you knew was that Eddie wasn’t there when you woke up. You’d reached out for him, hand feeling over the old mattress where he’d been, only to find it cold. Your first reaction was annoyance, you had just wanted to cuddle closer to him to try and block out the cold of the room you were in. Your next reaction was fear. Chills ran through your body, freezing in your place at the thoughts of the worst. You couldn’t believe he would leave without telling you– or letting you say goodbye.

“Eddie?” you tried. It was useless, he wasn’t there.

You had never moved so fast, throwing the blanket off of you and racing up the stairs into Dustin’s house. You hoped you would find at least one person in there that could tell you what was going on, but you had no idea what time it was. For all you knew the two Henderson’s could be out already at school and work.

“Eddie?” you called, voice wavering. There was no response for a second time.

You thought you could hear movement from the kitchen, so you rushed in that direction, only to find Eddie and Dustin staring at you like you were crazy. “Hey,” your boyfriend greeted. “Everything–” He was cut off when you bounded into his chest, arms thrown around his midsection tightly. He humphed quietly, not expecting the sudden weight against him.

“I thought you were gone. I thought you left already,” you cried. He set down the bowl of cereal he’d been holding, letting his now free arms wrap around you to keep you close to him. One of his hands was rubbing your back, the other settled on the back of your head. He tried to ignore the confused looks Dustin was sending his way, he could feel his gaze burning into the side of his head.

“I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. Never, baby.”

You sniffled, but your cries hadn’t quietened down just yet. Eddie swayed the two of you in the middle of Dustin’s kitchen, while the kid was still watching you both. He wasn’t going to answer any questions before he got you to calm down. That meant you were standing there for longer than he originally thought, but in the end you were pulling away and flashing him a sheepish smile, embarrassed about your miniature breakdown.

“What do you mean you’re leaving? Where are you going?” the kid asked. His breakfast was completely abandoned now, just like Eddie’s. He didn’t have long before he should have been heading to school, so you didn’t think this would go down well if he told him now. You might have been happy to support Eddie’s decision, but Dustin surely wouldn’t be.

Your boyfriend cleared his throat, wiping any trace of upset from his face as he turned to look at the kid. You didn’t know if he was going to lie or tell the truth, but you were leaning towards the former. “‘M not going anywhere Henderson. Was just a nightmare she’s been having for a couple days,” he effortlessly lied. It felt wrong to keep him in the dark.

You avoided Dustin’s gaze entirely, not wanting him to suspect that it wasn’t the truth. He wouldn’t be able to tell from looking at Eddie, but he could definitely tell if he looked at you. You were way too distraught to hide how you really felt at this point. It didn’t matter all the things you’d tried to hide from him last night when you wanted to support him, that mindset was gone.

“Shouldn’t you be heading off to school, kid?”

He sighed, taking a last bite of his cereal before rushing to grab his bag and slip on his shoes. He didn’t want to be late for another time this week. Taking care of a hidden criminal really wasn’t an ideal task before school. It took far too long sometimes. “I’ll see you guys when I get home,” he said. “Remember, you can’t leave and you have to stay away from the windows.”

Eddie nodded. “I got it. Now go, get out of here.”

As he moved to leave, the brunette called his name, forcing him to halt in his footsteps. He looked over his shoulder expectantly, but never did he think Eddie would pull him into a tight hug. “Thank you, Henderson. For letting me stay and-and stuff.”

He spared one last look at the metalhead when they pulled apart from each other, a sense of uncertainty there before he smiled, wishing you both a bye and a promise that he’d be straight home after school to see you. Those words almost made you choke up, with the thoughts of what was to come soon enough today. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when you heard the front door close behind Dustin. “Why’d you lie to him?” you asked.

Your boyfriend couldn’t tell if you were upset with him or not, but you didn’t sound particularly impressed with him.

“He’d try and stop me,” he said simply, shrugging his shoulders. He refused to stay still, messing around the kitchen and cleaning up the dishes from breakfast. He was worried that if he stopped in place he would have to talk to you and look at those puppy eyes that begged him not to do this. There was no way he wouldn’t break if you looked at him a certain way for long enough. “I have to do this. For me.”

When he did manage to spare a glance at you, you just nodded, clearly not okay with the idea. You didn’t speak up and protest, instead you just left the room, heading back down to the basement where all of your stuff was. He didn’t follow for a while, assuming you would want some time alone or something to gather your thoughts.

He was walking like he was on eggshells when he came back down to find you. You’d changed, trying to keep yourself busy so you didn’t have to face your thoughts, but he was going to make you.

“Y/N,” he called, watching you rush around the place. “I-I won’t do this if you aren’t a hundred percent with me on it.” Those words left his mouth before he could stop them, and he didn’t even know why he said it. He wasn’t planning on doing it with your approval, this was for his own peace of mind.

You dropped whatever stuff you were doing, letting out a loud breath. “I don’t want you to do this,” you said, simply. “I think it’s selfish and unfair. And I think you’re gonna regret it.”

He was a little shocked at that answer. He hadn’t expected you to properly speak your mind. It wasn’t a surprise though that your words had made him feel bad, that was probably your exact intention. “Don’t look at me like that,” you grumbled. “You asked, so I was honest.”

“I-“ He paused. “That’s fair. My bad.” In any other scenario you might have laughed with him, but you were much too annoyed right now to do anything close to that. “But I need you to see my side of things, where I’m coming from. Please.” He was close to begging at this point, willing to even get on his knees with his hands clasped together if that’s what it would take for you to truly accept that he was doing this.

You sighed, shoulders sagging. “Do you know what you’re asking me, Eddie?” Part of you thought he hadn’t really considered the weight of his words. “How am I supposed to just give up my boyfriend like this? A-And let you go to jail? It’s not like you’ll be right back.”

“No, I know that. But maybe Hopper can convince them to give me an easier sentence, or maybe a miracle might happen and they let me go.” He was just saying whatever came into his mind now, hoping it could settle you, but he wasn’t even believing it himself. By some point you didn’t even want to argue anymore. You were wasting your breath trying to persuade him, you weren't going to get anywhere at this rate.

He could pretty much see the exact moment on your face where you gave up the fight. “Is this really what you want?” you asked. Your tone was sad, and it did make his heart sting, but this was as close to acceptance as he would get.

“No, but it’s what I need. Enough is enough, Y/N.” You eyed him for a few seconds, hoping he would change his mind at this last minute. It was incredibly unlikely, but there was hope. It was pointless though, he was stubborn. “Fine. But I’m coming with you. I’m not letting you go there alone.” And if that was all he had to get your approval on this, then he supposed he could let you. He was asking a lot.

»»——⍟——««

The two of you decided to walk to the station, considering it would give you more time together. You were worried at first about people maybe seeing him and causing a fuss, but considering he was turning himself in anyway, you didn’t think it particularly mattered. The time the two of you would have together on this journey was all that mattered now. It could be the only time you got to spend together for a while now.

Your hands were locked together tightly, and your head found home on his shoulder as you walked. An occasional tear would soak into the sleeve of his shirt every now and then, which reminded him just how much he was hurting you with this.

The walk to the station had never felt shorter. From Dustin’s house it wasn't particularly miles, but by no means was it a quick journey. Now it was a different story. It felt like you had barely been able to speak a couple sentences to each other before it was in your sights. Not that there was much else for you to say by now. “Can, uh, can we just stand for a while?” you asked, clinging onto him so tightly.

“Yeah. Yeah, we can do that.”

And you did. The two of you stood there in each other’s arms for probably longer than you should. If you really wanted to let Eddie do this of his own accord, then you shouldn’t really spend so long outside of a police station where he could be easily spotted. When that thought hit you– not wanting to see your beloved boyfriend dragged away in handcuffs in some humiliating gesture– you moved things along. “Are you sure about this? O-Once you do this there’s no going back, Eddie.”

He knew that, that was the one thing that was plaguing his mind the most. He might have been doing this to help out those around him, not wanting their lives to be ruined by his image, but he realized if no one figured out how to convince a court or a judge that he was innocent, he could be stuck in there forever. “I know. Just promise me you’re gonna keep trying. You and Dustin, and everyone else.”

You nodded, flashing him a watery smile. “We’re never gonna stop trying to figure this out. I swear.” Your promise meant everything to him. His heart could slow a little knowing he had your word on this.

He stepped closer to you, setting his hands on your cheeks and keeping your eyes on him. “Even though I’m doing this, I will never not love you, Y/N. I love you so much it hurts sometimes.” If this would be his final chance to confess his love for you wholly, then he wanted to do it. He didn’t want to leave anything unsaid between you both. “You’re the love of my life. And I’m so grateful that you’re willing to stick by me with this.”

“I wouldn’t dream of doing anything else. There’s no way you’re getting rid of me that easily,” you said, honestly.

The sound of his laugh was something you were trying to commit to memory, just in case you didn’t get to hear it from here on out. “I’m gonna miss you,” Eddie told you, leaning his forehead against yours affectionately.

“‘M gonna miss you too.” You didn’t think that put into words just how genuine you were being. There were no words to describe it. “I love you, Ed.”

The kiss the two of you shared was a true goodbye kiss, all of your emotions poured out into it. It said more than your words ever could. You almost didn’t want to pull away from him, ever, but he wasn’t leaving you that choice. Even though you weren’t anywhere near ready to let him go, he was pulling back, making the choice for you to end the interaction.

“I have to go,” he said. “Before they find you with me and think you’re an accomplice or something.”

The thought was an awful one, that anyone who was associated with him recently could also be potentially put at fault. It was one of the biggest factors in his decision.

“Okay. Just, be safe and don’t do anything dumb,” you told him. Hopefully, he would be able to stay in Hawkins for a while rather than be moved to some bigger place where there were so many dangers for him. You really wished you could figure something out before that moment came– it would be your only mission from now until that day was announced. “I love you.”

He placed one final kiss to your lips, a much quicker one than last time. “I love you, too.”

Before he stepped through the doors, he looked over his shoulder to get one last look at you. It was obvious you were fighting back tears, and you were extremely close to failing, but there was nothing he could do now. He’d committed to this and he needed to go through with it for himself. There was a quick nod that finalized his decision, the man leaving you standing there in the parking lot, tears in your eyes.

“Hi, I uh, I need to speak to the chief,” he told the woman sitting at the front desk. She didn’t look up to see him, continuing scribbling on whatever was on her desk. Your heart was racing as you stared through the window. You were surprised he couldn’t hear it from where he was. The woman must have asked him a routine question like what his name was. “I’m Eddie Munson.”

That was when you watched all the heads in the space shoot up. You had no idea how a police station full of officers hadn’t seen him enter the place, but they certainly did now, and they were taking all the measures.

Through the window, Hopper’s eyes locked on you, though you didn’t see him. He knew he would do everything in his power to help Eddie, he knew of the strange happenings in Hawkins, and though he couldn’t exactly explain it to his co-workers, he’d find some way to prove the kids innocence. He let Eddie be taken by someone else to be processed, insisting they treat him with care. Meanwhile, he was going to concern himself with you.

“Hey.” Your head turned to look towards the voice, finding Chief Hopper standing just outside the door of the station. “He’ll be fine. I’ll make sure he gets the king treatment. Promise.”

There was no use wiping any of your previous tears that had fallen, his words only spurred on more. He got a little nervous when hearing your sudden sob, blaming himself for it. After the sudden shock wore off, he jumped into action, rushing over to where you were sitting on the curb to pull you into a hug.

You practically melted into his side. He guided your head into his neck, letting you cry there while his hand rubbed up and down your back. The gentle touch was enough to make you pour all of your emotions out that you couldn’t when Eddie was with you. These were the things you didn’t want him to see, not wanting this image of you to remain at the forefront of his mind everyday in that jail cell. “I hate him,” you cried. There was no weight behind your words, you hated his actions, not him— you loved him more than anyone could ever possibly understand. Which was exactly why you were so distraught.

“He’ll be out in no time, kid. ‘M gonna figure this out, and do everything I can.”

You wanted to believe him, desperately, but you weren’t in much of an optimistic mindset. For now you just had to listen and hope for the best. Unless you wanted him to stay in there and rot, there was no way you’d be able to focus long enough to figure out how to prove his innocence if you couldn’t get in the right state of mind.

It hit Dustin suddenly on his way to school. It felt like a slap in the face, he didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it at the time Eddie said it. He hadn’t yet entered the school building, so he was free to ditch his bike— coming to the conclusion there wasn’t time to unchain it from the rack— and run as fast as he possibly could to the station downtown.

He got odd looks from people on the streets as he passed that, almost knocking over a few when they didn’t hear his calls to get out of his way.

But eventually he was running through the parking lot that housed all the police cars. He didn’t see you at first, or Hop, but you heard his quick footsteps, which drew your eyes to him. The sight of him, so clearly distressed and completely disheveled from having run all that way, made your heart burn. You felt such pity for the boy who didn’t properly get to say goodbye, or at least a goodbye where he was fully aware of what was happening.

“You’re too late,” you told him, shaking your head. Eddie had been long inside before the kid arrived. You still thought he deserved to get his proper goodbye, but there was no convincing your boyfriend to do anything today. Dustin hadn’t expected to see you sitting there, tear stained cheeks, in Hopper’s arms.

He was still panting from all the exercise, but he somehow let out a breath, running his hands through his curls. “No,” he muttered. “No!”

Neither of you sitting there expected him to have an outburst, but you weren’t nearly as fazed as Hopper seemed to be. His back straightened, worried he would have to jump in and calm the kid down before it got out of hand.

“How could you let him do this? You were supposed to take care of him, and you– You let him go and do this! You’re so…stupid!”

Hopper thought he was being unfair. Eddie was many things, and insane was one of them, there was no way this was your idea. Anyone who had been a witness to yours and Eddie’s relationship could guess that you would have tried to sway him against the choice he made, but the man was headstrong, it would take an army to change his mind. “Kid, hey. That’s enough!” He looked as though he was going to say something else, but Jim beat him to it. “Go take a walk.”

Dustin almost protested, the look on his face one of pure rage, but he realized he was nothing compared to the Chief. It was safer for him to do as he said. He still muttered angrily under his breath as he walked away.

“Don’t listen to him. He just– He’s worried about his friend,” he told you. You didn’t need to hear that from him, you knew that. Dustin was an expressive kid, and when he got upset it could be a lot, especially when it’s aimed at one person. But he could be forgiven. You were having the same exact emotions as he was, you just weren’t taking them out on someone. You were possibly the best person to understand.

“I know. It’s okay.”

Hop admired how you were taking this. Sure you might have shed some tears, and shown you were hurting, but you were taking this a hell of a lot better than he would if he was in this situation with the person he loved. This new situation was going to take a lot to get used to, and it would be hard for a long time, but Hopper had faith you would make it through this, and by the end of it all you and Eddie would be just fine.

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

eddie munson taglist - @pastel-abyss-x @lilylilyyyyyy @spideysbae @lexi-2004 @escape-in-time-x @liltimmyst @fandomxo00 @youcantseem3 @sharnnnnnn @dreashappyworld @audhd-dragonaut @liltimmyst @ruinedbythehobbit @eddiemsbandana

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson angst #eddie munson oneshot #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things fic

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cozyletters · 1 year ago

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Snail Mail Wanted

|| ~ Millennial Bookworm & Fangirl ~ || I thought I'd try Tumblr because IG penpal community seems too intimidating. Everyone has such gorgeous letters and I am one very tired millennial who doesn't have time for artistic and scrapbooky-like envelopes and letters. In saying that, however, I do enjoy writing 10 page letters of anything and everything and nothing all in one. The type of letter where, as soon as you see my letter arrive in the mail, you know to put a cup of tea on and get settled in... and it's like I'm there talking your ear off. (Which is hilarious because I'm a massive introvert who doesn't do that in real life. Unless I'm comfortable enough in your presence and you'll get that crackhead goblin energy from me). I do want to say that I would prefer writing with someone between the ages of 23 - 35. I feel like that's a good age bracket to vibe with, as I certainly don't act my age. So if you're expecting a wise, old woman. That ain't me. Wise? No. Old? ...well being 30 does feel old. Obviously I want to state that: Please do not expect fancy letters, or scrapbook-y decorated letters. I don't have the time or budget to maintain that. I just miss simple, long(ish) handwritten letters. That's it. With the added surprise of a few photos sometimes. Whilst I live comfortably, I am still someone on a budget, so sending parcels is just not doable for me, so if that's also what you're expecting...please find someone else. I would love, love, LOVE to be able to send Parcels but it's just not financially feasible. Alright... Now that we kinda know what to expect from my side of things... onto the daunting 'About Me' section! Hi. My Name is Charlotte. I am 30 years old, from Australia. I am a massive fangirl who jumps fandoms every six months or so but circles back to old fandoms too. I have 3 or 4 Tumblr Blogs floating around dedicated to Fanfiction etc for specific fandoms. I love reading! I have my own lil IG bookstagram account. But it's more to keep myself accountable for actually reading, rather than giving forth my opinion/review and annotating stuff (I don't know how to annotate). I've gotten back into reading after losing out on that long-lost hobby of many years ago. I am a creator of characters. I create and write OCs alongside my friend. 'Roleplay', it's called. But in written form. I love to play video games but I totally suck at them. However, it doesn't stop me from playing. I've also been wanting to get back into Animal Crossing to redo my Island but it feels too overwhelming to do that XD I used to do snail mail before Covid but...y'know...Covid happened and life got turned upside down for everyone. And then, I guess, 2023 became that 'healing back-to-normal' phase. So I guess...as we enter 2024, I think I'd like to have a penpal or two. I don't want to be part of anyone's collections. If you have five penpals already, please don't add me to the list. I'd like one or two because it feels like we're building a meaningful friendship, and I'd 100% like that. I would love to find a penpal from Scotland and Greece, but that's also not a necessary requirement. Anywhere is fine! Erm... I don't know what else to write? If I write too much about me, I'll have nothing left to write in letters. If I write too little here...I'll sound boring as hecc! (Which I am, but that's beside the point). OH! I guess...one thing I do enjoy collecting is coin from other countries. So... y'know...Ka-ching! but with coins. Not notes. I know life is expensive. I couldn't send a $10 note to you because... that $10 could be used! Um...What I'm currently into? Hobby-wise: Books! I do play D&D (Dungeons & Dragons). I am into Formula 1, I love my racing boys and have created my own F1 world with my friend (OCs!). I'm also into Band of Brothers, Generation Kill, Top Gun & Top Gun: Maverick. I vibe with those things right now. Okay. I'll stop talking because I don't know how to make myself sound interesting. You can message me here or email at [email protected]

#snail mail wanted #snail mail #penpal wanted #pen pals #snailmail #letters

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afortoru · 7 months ago

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𝑴𝒚 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑰𝒔 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒆

Summary: you express your love to him in this soft moment when you're both cuddled up on the bed.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader

Genre: smooch ball fluff

Warnings: you might fall in love...none lol

Word count: 925

A/n: wrote this when I was crying while missing him once, pretty much self indulgent....also a comeback fic ig <3

It's not easy....

It's not easy to love The Strongest but it sure was easy to love Satoru.

The way he holds you,longs for your touch when he comes back from a long mission,when he smiles softly playing with your hair strands while you're half asleep.You know he loves you,he never fails to keep raising the bar for himself. Sometimes it's the intimacy you share, sometimes when you both are coddled up in the quiet peaceful nights and sometimes it's just you two laying under a bright sunny sky in the winters.

You know your man deserves the world. You'd do anything and everything for him,too much to say that you want to protect this precious being.

But mostly it's him,he's always there. God,Satoru would turn the world upside down for you.His world brightens when a smile spreads across your face.

It's 12 in the midnight right now.You rested your head on his chest feeling his heartbeat,your heartbeat.

Satoru smiles gently,caressing your hair. Oh how much he longs for moments like this.

"Do you have work tomorrow?" You asked,breaking the silence.He looks down at you,wondering what made you ask it.

"Uh...not really since I just got some important work done.Why sweetcheeks?"

"Can you take a day off?"

Satoru smiles before nodding."Why, Missing me too much?",he teased with a light smirk across his face.

"Yes.Hate it when you're not around."

Oh....

He loves when you show your dominance over his love,after all he's all yours.He loves it when you ask him to stay instead of telling him to go otherwise principal Yaga and the students would be mad at him. He wants you to pull him closer when he's about to get up from the bed at dawn to face the world. He longs for when you actually show your longing for him.

"Don't worry, I'd take a week off for as long as you want my lovely wife",he smiles cupping your cheeks.

You lean forward,your chin pressed on his chest as you face him up.

And when you notice his eyes,those beautiful crystal blue eyes deeper than the ocean you feel like there's his younger self behind those eyes wanting to be held closer,wanting to be loved without being demanding, wanting to be loved without being called out too clingy or childish,wanting to be loved as a human, as Satoru, as your Toru.

Your Toru….

You didn't realize when the tears brimmed into your eyes and came right down to your cheeks.Satoru's eyes widened...why are you crying,he's right here.Why'd you cry?

"Hey baby....look at me I'm here. I'm staying here forever,by your side.", he tries to convince you but you hide your face in his chest before looking up at him.You wipe your tears and smile lightly hitting the side of your head.

"God I'm so stupidly in love with you,I'm not crying it's just....happy tears."

Satoru smiles softly before putting your hair strands behind your ears and cupping your face.

"I love you and we both are stupidly in love with each other, ok?",he said, making you chuckle as you nodded.

His heart swells with the amount of love you couldn't help but shower him with as he pulls you gently into an everlasting hug.

You know this is your love,that you and Satoru build through all the ups and downs.

He looks at you like you're some blessing that was granted to him not knowing how much he needed it.

“I love you too,Toru.Love you so much that I might say the corniest stuff right now so I'll shut up.”

You both chuckled and you swear how much you love his voice, his soft chuckle is what your heartbeat sounds like.

“Then say it…”,he bends his head down gently biting your soft cheeks.“...please I wanna hear it, sweet cheeks.”

You looked up at him smiling giddily.“I'll hide the sun if it bothers you,I'll stop the rain if you don't like it, I…I wanna take away your pain from the past and give you the happiest future.Just come back to me,I don't care about anything. Never hide your emotions from me, Toru…never please.Promise on our love, I'll fight the world for you.”

Why would you say something like this? How can Satoru love you more than he already does?

He could hear the desperation in your voice, the longing which made his breath hitch.

“Baby…” he cups your cheeks into his palm and leaned closer to kiss you as you wrapped your hands around his head and caressed his hair, pulling him into a slow and passionate kiss.

The emotions he's feeling right now is overwhelming. He kissed you since he doesn't know how to respond. It's mostly him being so vocal like this but today you decided to switch roles and oh god, his head is spinning. If it wasn't for you holding him so close right now, feeling your soft touch on his skin he'll think this was all just a dream. But it's not, it's real.

Satoru could die a happy man in your arms, but he can't die now since he has to live for you. He'll come back to you, doesn't matter wherever he is.

In this world where nothing is his, he's assured that you're his forever. His love is all his.

Dividers by @rookthornesartistry

#𝒶'𝓈 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝑜𝒾𝓇 ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶ #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #satoru x you #satoru x reader #jjk fic #jjk fluff #gojo x you #satoru x y/n #jujutsu kaisen

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disappointedcreeper · 8 months ago

Text

Okay I do this now

A - about five months ago soon after I joined Tumblr (realized I was a fox be4 that though, I just didn't know the language)

B - it kinda makes social interactions more awkward sometimes

C - yes, and kinda to the not being super connected to nature (but I'd be a city fox so wtv, the climate is worse than the fact i live in a city

D - no and not really

E - well on Tumblr it's great, Ive met some wonderful creatures :3

F - two of them (most of my friends though would not understand at all)

G - no, but that might change in the future

H - did u forget h or just not think of anything for it?

I - red fox, that's all

J - yes I do make some jokes (would be more serious around specific people if they knew)

K - probably around a 6 or a 7 because I've done a decent amount of research on therianthropy and I have a decent amount of understanding on other alterhuman identities

L - yes I like foxes. actually they are one of my favorite animals now that I know I am one (bias go brrrrr)

M - again, did you forget, or just not think of anything? /genq

N - yes I'm a fox, we tend to live in forests but also do live in cities

O - nope, not as far as I know (actually I'll put a big m a y b e for this. probably not but there is a possibility)

P - yes, I'm a fox. sadly there is a lot of negative steryotyping of foxes in media though which I hate

Q - ok yeah I understand not being able to think of anything for q, so I'll put the few q words I know for fun. Que, question, query, quesadilla, and I think thats all I can think of lmao

R - no not really I don't like having to live in the body of a human permanently (there are upsides that I wouldn't want to live without though)

S - ? I mean im agender so I don't think about that

T - I act mutch differently than other humans, I tend to go up stairs on all fours, I sometimes think about eating roadkill (doesn't last for long though) I absolutely destroy most meat I eat, especially jerky, I feel the need to express my emotions with a tail and ears but I can't, I am skittish and get startled easily, sometimes I pant, and there are probably many more I forgot to mention here

U - yes and it depends. As I said in the last one I sometimes think about eating roadkill which would be very bad for my human body. I also sometimes walk on the front of my feet, or really want to. Also when I'm going uphill I want nothing more than to get down on all fours as going uphill for me is exhausting.

V - same as with H M and Q ig

W -

Almost exactly like this but with blue eyes. Also my tail would be orange with a white tip probably

X - yeah there aren't many x words. Xylophone is the only one I can think of

Y - yes. Also probably yarn so it would be the right size proportional to my body.

Z - as long as they treat the animals well, and the animals are happy. And honestly I'd rather prefer to go somewhere I could physically interact with a fox, or at least be closer than looking at an enclosure.

Aaaaand that's everything! That took a while, but was fun

Alterhuman alphabet!

(feel free to copy, paste, fill in and credit me!)

A - awakening

When did you realise you are an alterhuman? At what age, how long ago?

B - balance

Does your identity affect your social life (school, work, ect.)? Does it cause troubles or not?

C - city

Do you live in a city? If yes, is it hard for you to be away from nature? Does your therio/kintype even need nature?

D - diary

Do you have a diary about your alterhuman experiences? If not, do you want to start one?

E - experience in the community

What is your experience and thoughts about the alterhuman community?

F - friends

Have you told your friends about your identity?

G - gear

Do you have any gear? If yes, is it handmade or bought?

I - identity

What is (are) your therio/kintype(s)?

J - jokes

Do you like to make little jokes about your identity or is it rather serious for you?

K - knowldege

In scale of 1-10, how big do you think your knowldege about alterhumans is? Are you new to this topic?

L - liking, loving

Do you like your therio/kintype(s)? Do you love or dislike it/them?

N - nature

Does your therio/kintype live in the wild, or rather not? (E.g. it's a house pet, or it's a robot.)

O - otherhearted

Are you also otherhearted? If yes, what is your kithtype(s)?

P - popularity

Is your therio/kintype "popular" or is it rather rare?

R - real body

Do you feel good about your psychical body? Do you experience gender dysphoria?

S - sex

Dies therio/kintype have a different sex than you?

T - traits

What are your alterhuman traits? (E.g. a need to hunt, bark, ect.)

Urges

If you have a theriotype, are you good at controlling your animalistic urges? Do they bother you?

W - wondering

How do you think you would look like, if you could psychically shapeshift into your therio/kintype? (Describe or put an inage here!)

Y - yarn

If you wanted ti buy/make a tail, would it be real fur or fake/yarn fur?

Z - zoo

How do you feel about zoos (a place, not z00philes)? Are they good or bad in your opinion? Do you want to go there to meet your theriotype (if you are a therian).

___________

That's all! Bye!🍄

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timetraveltodystopia · 3 years ago

Text

Wavy current energies - shufflemancy reading

♡ Shufflemancy reading - 25/02/22

Disclaimer: I’m a beginner with tarot and my readings could be correct and could be not. I am still learning so please take everything with a grain of salt. These readings are for fun and for entertainment purposes only <3

This is all alleged. I don’t want to hurt any idol or send them hate.

Kun

Love I'm Given - Ellie Goulding

And maybe I'm paying for the things I've done And maybe I'm paying for the ones I've hurt But I feel a change in the love I'm given I'm turning the page on my indecision And maybe you'll stay if I overcome The highs and the lows and the rising sun But I feel a change in the love I'm given I'm turning the page now, am I forgiven?

Kun is in a relationship. But you know what makes him attractive? He is always accountable for his actions and if he did something wrong, he will say it and if he does something right he will be flattered by the compliments of his SO. He is working hard to have this connection afloat.

Xiaojun

Remedy - Alesso

I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe That loneliness is my disease I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe That you are the remedy

Xiaojun feels alone lately. He broke up with someone and they are the only one who understood him (besides Bella, Bella will be always his daughter and support system of Xiaojun).

Ten

Oh my Gawd - Major Lazer

Oh my gawd, I've never seen a bottom like this See the way she hula-hoop, come and jump on like this See the junk in the trunk, I had to bag her right quick Feel like magic all together, multiplied by six Oh my gawd, I've never seen a bottom like this See the way she hula-hoop, come and jump on like this See the junk in the trunk, I had to bag her right quick Feel like magic all together, all together by six

*a bit NSFW this song lol

Probably I don't have much to say that he is having much fun with his person. Maybe an FWB but mostly s€x, and he loves it.

Hendery

Upside Down - Oliver Tree

It seems that sometimes I'm stuck upside down And it seems that sometimes I'm stuck upside down It seems that sometimes I'm stuck upside down And it seems that sometimes I'm stuck upside down

He feels misunderstood. Like the outsider from a group is the POV a receive. He is definitely quirky but because of his personality, he doesn't feel he found someone compatible with him.

Lucas

ok on your own - mxmtoon, Carly Rae Jepsen

I need some time to myself So I can comprehend I'm not so scared to admit I could use a friend I need some time to myself To gain some confidence Another confidant 'Til I can fall again

After a long period of time, Lucas came back with a photo in ig. He is alive people, this does not mean he will back to NCT. He feels betrayed and alone and thanks to the hiatus gave the spotlight to other members who didn't have before. He is the underdog, he is bearing the hate and his own hatred and feels defeated.

Winwin

Beamer (Bad Boys) - Rema, Rvssian

African girly come and hop in my beamer You know me, I really wanna take you for dinner You know me, I get the money pass, Shina Peter For my area they dey call me Godzilla For the boy there wey dey yarn kpatakpata If you catch am make sure, say you beat am If another nigga wan carry my seniorita I go chop am like say na semovita, oh

Winwin being in China gives him a huge amount of possibilities, one of them speaking mandarin and probably sneaking out to see a person. Any who, Winwin is a flirter and knows how to charm people.

Yangyang

Hang On - X Ambassadors

You know you got to hang on, hang on Put your whole five fingers on, you got to hang on, hang on, yeah Put your whole five fingers on, you got to hang on and don't let go Like Indiana Jones, you got to hang on, hang on Put your whole five fingers on, you got to hang on

After a long period of post- breakup, Yangyang is surviving and maintaining his feet on the ground. He considers himself stoic and capable to do anything and one of the things moving on from this breakup.

This changes over time. Everyone has free will and vibrations change. Hope you like this reading <3

#kpop tarot #kpop readings #tarot readings #wayv tarot #nct wayv tarot #nct wayv #kun tarot #xiaojun tarot #ten tarot #hendery tarot #lucas tarot #winwin tarot #yangyang tarot #tarot community #tarotblr

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linnamonrolls0 · 3 years ago

Text

The Thing About Illicit Affairs... : Chapter 6

Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader

Summary:

“And you know damn well, for you I would ruin myself, a million little times…”

When you pictured moving to New York City, an apartment in Washington Heights was a far cry from your Gossip Girl dreams. That was, until the guy next door flashed you a smile that could light up the entire city and your world turned upside down…

Mature / Warnings: idk, cheating and an almost-road-accident ig? / 2693 words

Chapter 6: Defying Gravity

I want nothing more than to see him again.

Though my mind is occupied by work and my free time by spontaneous nights out with my friends, Lin still lingers in my thoughts when I’m alone. Every now and then, a flash of his smile will appear in the back of my mind, or some stranger will walk by wearing the same cologne that he does, or I would just…. wonder about him.

But real life has a tendency to creep back in, pushing daydreams into the background; and the reality of it is, I don’t see Lin for far too long after that. Days turn to weeks, work swamps me and he’s busy working on so many things at once, I can’t comprehend how his brain keeps up with it all. One day he’s here, the next he’s travelling to who-even-knows-where.

Our text chain never seems to end even whilst he’s away; sometimes it’s him, sending me cute morning texts and things he’s written, and most times I’m out, I catch myself actively seeking out things to photograph just to share them with him. And of course, when he’s around, there’s the matter of his music - he knows exactly what he’s doing when he would sing me to sleep through our shared wall, and then over phone calls and FaceTimes when he was feeling braver, whether it’s a new tune or one that we both know and love. Maybe that’s why he occupied my dreams far more than anyone should, and that kiss started a raging, insatiable fire within me; that struggle only worsened day by day.

I replay it in my mind more than I’d like to admit. What I wouldn’t do to kiss him again…

Although fall is well and truly upon us and the city glows with warm autumnal hues, the mornings are still bright. I’ve taken to running regularly to clear my head, if not in the hope that I’d bump into Lin in the hallway in my running gear again and… well, that doesn’t happen. So far it has done little to help and I find myself fantasizing yet again, feeling hotter from my thoughts than from the exercise despite the crisp morning air. So it’s no wonder I’m surprised when I return from my run this morning, a sweaty mess, obliging my daily ritual of scanning the surroundings before heading back into the apartment block.

As I wait to cross the road to get to the building, I spot a little boy on a bicycle just outside, riding across the busy street, and a car approaching at a speed that I doubt is legal out here. Is that car going to stop? The driver is speeding, the kid is dangerously close to it and I barely think before running out and pulling the kid out of harm’s way.

But my impulse reaction is a good thing; the driver completely disregards the situation and accelerates straight over the bike, leaving it a mangled mess on the road as he speeds off - but thankfully the boy is safe.

“Are you okay?” I ask the shaken child. Probably about six or seven, and the poor little guy looks like he’s seen a ghost. That was a dumb question to ask, but at least he’s only scared and not hurt. The kid shakes his head, but says nothing. Don’t talk to strangers, maybe?

And fate seems to be playing games with me again, because who else but Lin comes sprinting across the street towards us, looking absolutely horror-stricken? He’s in his typical graphic hoodie and jeans getup; wearing your own merch is borderline cringe but it’s strangely adorable on him. How he makes that work is a mystery to me, though I know full well there are more important things to worry about right now. Glancing between him and the little boy, I quickly put two and two together just from looking at them; somehow I still hadn’t met his kids, but seeing them together now, the resemblance is impossible to ignore.

“Daddy!” the kid exclaims, terrified, leaping up into Lin’s waiting arms.

“Hey, what happened, buddy?” he whispers in a soft, soothing voice, hugging his son as though he’ll never let go.

“I almost died! She’s like… Spider-woman or something!”

I stay quiet, seeing it wisest to let them be. Lin looks over at me, somehow looking even more shaken than his child, “Thank you. I… swear I’m not like, neglecting my kids or anything. I just… didn’t make it across the road in time. God. Thank you so much.”

“It’s fine, Lin. He’s okay, he’s safe,” I reassure him with a slight smile.

“Thanks to you,” he says, “I know we need to talk, but…”

“But right now, you have a terrified kid that needs you. I understand. It’s okay,” I nod.

“Are you busy today?”

“I’m working from home, so technically…no. Why?” I was far ahead on my work and I had planned to spend the day running errands, though I can’t help but wonder what he’s proposing.

“Up for a coffee later?”

“Yeah, of course. Just knock when you’re good to go.” Coffee and him, both? That sounds like a good morning indeed, and just what we’d need after this.

“Alright. I’ll catch ya later.” He nods, rushing off with his son, tightly clasping the child’s hand in his own. How adorable, how domestic.

Seeing him with his kid feels like a hammer on my heart, the kind that hits slowly and cracks the glass bit by bit until it completely shatters. Surely I can’t be trying to ruin that? Wouldn’t that make me a horrible person?

Apparently moral dilemmas are aplenty in this town.

—————

I head back to my apartment and change into a more presentable outfit; jeans and a warm sweater should do just fine. As I wait, I busy myself with work, grabbing my laptop to return some emails until I hear a knock at the door. Followed by another knock. He’s turned the freaking knock into a rhythm again; good to know this is a thing now.

I walk to the door and open it. “Hey, you,” I smile, making no effort to hide my appreciative look as I check him out properly this time. It’s been just over an hour; Lin looks a lot less stressed now, and it seems less inappropriate with no-one else around.

“Hi,” he says, doing exactly the same with a slight blush creeping up his cheeks. He nervously shifts his gaze to the ground when he realizes I’ve noticed him staring, and my heart practically melts. He’s acting like a teenager on a first date and it’s near about the cutest thing I’ve seen him do. His words snap me out of my little trance, “You good to go?”

“Give me a minute? Come on in if you’d like,” I offer, grabbing my sneakers from the closet beside the door. Lin steps through the doorway and I can tell he’s looking around the apartment, taking in all the little details. “Is everything okay?” I ask, looking over at him as he sits down on the sectional sofa in the centre of my living room. I sit down on the perpendicular chaise edge, pulling my sneakers on.

“Yeah. Seb’s with Vanessa now, he’s… calm.” Lin nods, seemingly reassuring himself as much as me.

“And you?” I ask, looking up at him as I lean down to tie my shoelaces. I feel his gaze fixed on me the entire time.

“I… just need coffee,” he chuckles lightly, running a hand through his hair.

I get up to grab my phone and keys, and when I return to the living area, I find Lin peering into a box of books at the top of a precariously balanced tower of boxes still waiting to be unpacked. Being busy is not fun, it’s been long enough but I have still not fully ‘moved in’. “Sorry about the mess,” I say, “I bought bookcases but I can’t find the time to build the darn things.”

“Well, I’m pretty handy with that stuff if you need help,” he offers kindly.

“I’ll have to take you up on that soon,” I tell him. I’m generally not one to accept help so easily, but it’s far too good an offer to say no to. And I can’t build that enormous bookcase alone! I pull on a jacket and grab a scarf from my coat closet. It may be bright outside, but I’m no contender to the unpredictable fall climate. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Come on. There’s no way you’re a Slytherin!” Lin laughs at me, tugging on the end of my green and silver striped scarf, “And it is not that cold.” I can’t hide my smile at that; people who get your references really are the best kinds of people.

“You grossly underestimate my capacity as an evil genius, Mr Miranda.” I playfully snatch the scarf back and wrap it around my neck. “So, where are we going?”

“There’s this new coffee place a few blocks over, I’ve been wanting to check it out since they opened… Shall we?”

We head out, and once we’re a safe distance away from our apartment building, he seems a little braver as he links my arm through his as we walk and talk. Though he’s still understandably uneasy after the events of this morning, I try to distract him, asking about his time away and whatever he’s working on lately. Luckily it works, and he has a never-ending list of questions about what I’ve been up to, which I find incredibly endearing. It seems to be getting colder as we walk, and we’re practically huddling as the wind shows no sign of calming down.

“I really didn’t plan on it being this cold,” Lin says, shivering slightly in his hoodie.

“Well, you should know better,” I tease, “But I’m only evil if I don’t like you, so here.” I throw my scarf over him instead, and he wears it with a grateful smile.

“Whatever would I do without you?” he asks dramatically.

“You’d be very cold.” Taking his lead, I wrap my arms around his waist with a cheesy grin, earning a laugh from him.

“Oh, you have no idea,” he mutters, holding me closer to him as we walk. I give him a curious look, but he shrugs it off and jokes, “The cold never bothered me anyway… Hey!”

This is all starting to look like cute rom-com shit, but like an uninvited guest at a private party, the voice in the back of my mind pipes up.

Is this really appropriate?

Why do you fucking care?

He’s married! He has a family!

Then why doesn’t he care?

How does that matter? You know better.

Maybe I don’t. This is innocent enough now, but maybe I want him and I won’t say no if he wants me as much as I think he does.

But maybe the powers that be have other ideas, because suddenly Lin spots something in the distance and abruptly lets go of me, leaving me to shiver a little as he puts a safe distance between us. “Fuck, no.” He quickly pulls his hood over his head, looking down as we walk on.

“What happened?” I ask, trying to figure out what he saw, but to no avail.

“That cop.” He subtly nods in the direction of a middle-aged man in an NYPD uniform, walking in our direction, holding a doughnut and grinning without a care in the world. Once the cop passes us, Lin explains, “He’s a family friend. He would’ve stopped to say hi if he saw me… and if he saw us, we’d be screwed.”

“Close call…” I sigh, thankful this hasn’t ended before it even begun.

The walk ends quickly enough and before I’ve fully processed what just happened, we arrive at the cafe. We enter; though the place is new, it looks like it’s been here forever, a cozy little local spot with warm wooden interiors. Thankfully it’s reasonably quiet, save for the light chatter of a few patrons, the soft whir of the coffee machines and if you listen closely enough, the playlist of showtunes far in the background. We quickly decide on an inconspicuous table with two leather tub chairs in a corner of the coffee shop, and once we’ve ordered our drinks, Lin glances around before speaking again, sounding alarmingly serious.

“I know this is going to be weird, but we need to talk about what happened that day,” he says, “And, today, I guess.”

Ah, addressing the elephant in the room. It’s hardly the sort of thing you can casually mention over texts or FaceTime. That was the purpose of this whole thing after all; the one conversation we had been avoiding with a veil of lightheartedness.

“What is there to say?” I ask cautiously, trying to gauge how he’s playing it.

“I don’t… Do you…” Lin hesitates and pauses for a second, “Was that a mistake?”

“Not for me, it wasn’t. Because it was real, apart from and in spite of everything, it was what I wanted and I don’t regret it. Do you?”

“I feel like I should regret it.”

“And?”

“I don’t. I want to feel like I’ve done something stupid, but I… don’t.”

“And the guilt?” I prod. I don’t want to push him too far, but if we’re setting boundaries here, I need to know what page he’s on.

“It fucking kills. But then I think about you, and it feels like it doesn’t matter, it’s all worth it…” Lin sighs, “I’m sorry for making this so complicated. You deserve someone who’ll make you happy, not… whatever this is.” He drags a hand through his hair, leaning back in the chair.

“Yeah, well, too bad for you, that someone is you,” I say playfully, trying to ease the tension a little, “And if you don’t want to label this, we won’t.”

We remain silent whilst a young server sets our coffees down on the table, only breaking the silence to thank him.

Once the guy is out of earshot, Lin reaches out and rests his hand over mine on the tabletop, with a heart-stopping smile. I lace my fingers through his and sigh with contentment - this feels so normal, so real that I almost forget who, where, or what we are for a moment. Watching him tip a mildly terrifying amount of sugar into his cup, I sip my coffee, feeling its warmth flow right through to my heart, which feels like it’s melting more by the minute, and not from the caffeine.

“You just saved my kid’s life. How am I supposed to repay you for something like that?” Lin asks, almost in disbelief himself. In that moment, I didn’t even think about what I was doing before bolting out into the street to pull the kid out of harm’s way, and Lin’s reaction is entirely understandable - but now the magnitude of it all makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

“You don’t.” I smile, glancing down at our hands and adopting a lighter tone to ease the mood, “You could come over and help me build those bookcases, though.” I trace the lines on his palm with one finger, causing him to flinch and grab my hand harshly, stopping me. “Ticklish?” I tease, smirking at him.

He glares at me, dark eyes searching mine. “Don’t…” he murmurs, loosening his grip on my fingers, “When do you want me?”

Anywhere, any damn day of the week, babe. I don’t dare tell him that, obviously, settling on gently squeezing his hand instead. “Saturday, unless you have any big plans?”

“I guess I do now?” He smiles, slowly raising my hand to his lips and pressing a seemingly chaste kiss to the back of it, his gaze never leaving mine.

I fear I may melt completely. I take another sip of my coffee, mainly to hide my blush behind the cup. Because sure, the coffee’s sweet, but it’s got nothing on Lin.

Chapter 5 / Chapter 7

#lin manuel miranda #lin manuel miranda x reader #lin x reader #lmm #in the heights #lin sin #linnamon roll #lin manuel miranda fanfic #hamilton #hamiltrash #lin-manuel #illicit affairs

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cotncandyboifics · 3 years ago

Text

Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?

AO3 Link

My Main Masterpost

Pairing(s): Romantic Dukexiety

Word count: 6.9k (Remus would be proud)

Story summary: A pseudo-songfic; 5 times Remus called Virgil high, and one time Virgil called Remus high.

Content Warning: Marijuana, Characters high on Marijuana, Description of the experience of being high on marijuana, Food, descriptions of eating, descriptions of preparing food, vague anxiety descriptions, insomnia, cursing, Remus Being Remus,(let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: this is just. dorky fluff stuff. Idek lol. Enjoy

...

Virgil grimaced vaguely at his phone, which had begun to buzz periodically. More specifically; Virgil was glaring at the displayed name at the top of the screen, communicating who was currently calling him.

TrashMan 42069 is calling...

Remus never called Virgil. As in... never never. And even if he did, it was 7 am; Virgil sincerely doubted that Remus I-wake-up-at-2-pm-every-day Prince had ever been awake at this time of morning in his life.

The call didn't stop after 5 buzzes, and so Virgil picked his phone up, hurriedly accepting the call and pressing the phone to his face.

"uuum, hiiii...." Remus drawled from the other end of the line. Virgil scoffed under his breath. "I'll have a.... extra large cheese pizza, and another extra large with... extra anchovies...." Remus continued. Virgil genuinely couldn't tell whether Remus thought he was actually talking to a Pizza parlor employee or not, but more pertinently, he was very much disconcerted by the way Remus was acting. He had half a mind to ask if he'd hit his head on something, but... Virgil was gradually growing used to Remus' antics, and every time he'd asked out of his own anxieties in the past, Remus had been More Than Fine. He pushed his nerviness aside with a heavy sigh.

"Re, what are you doing?" his voice came out a bit husky, and Virgil realized this was the first time he'd spoken that day.

Remus didn't reply for a few long moments. Of course, this had exactly nothing to do with the fact that he was having a gay panic over the sound of Virgil's morning voice, which - again - was decidedly not happening.

"Haay Virge," Remus scarcely strung his words together, and they fell on top of each other as they rolled off his tongue in a quite klutzy fashion. It was almost soothing, in its way. "I thought if I pretended that you... that I was... that I thought you were a pizza man, then I'd forget to do... why I called you." Remus scrunched his nose to himself, taking his time to find his words, but eventually he got there. Virgil had been struck with realization part way through Remus' rambling, and was now scowling as if Remus could hear his facial expression through the phone.

"Remus, are you seriously high right now?" Virgil hissed.

"I mean... I think so... I definitely remember..." he pointedly enunciated each syllable of 'definitely remember,' before seemingly getting distracted by his thoughts. Virgil cleared his throat to prompt him. "...uhhhh... I don't wanna call you. Why did I... think that was...good." Virgil couldn't tell if Remus was talking to himself or not.

"Dude, go take a shower and... like, drink some water or something. I'll see you at work later. Please come in a better mental state than you're in now." Virgil hung up, setting his phone back down on his desk face-down, resuming his script read-through of the next production being put on at the theater he worked for.

Several hours later, Virgil was adjusting a few bolts on a light fixture, one of many all lined up on the long bar that he'd lowered from the fly deck earlier. He and Remus were stage technicians, and had both worked at this theater together for nearly two years now.

Remus burst through the set of doors off stage left, arms wide and his custom green tool belt slung over one shoulder like a sash. He bowed a bit dramatically to the stage and everyone on it (which, at the moment, was only Virgil; they were the only two in the theater, since Virgil regularly showed up early and Remus was here early too for once for... some reason) before stepping in long strides toward a burnt out light fixture, a few feet away from Virgil.

"You good?" Virgil murmured, feigning intense focus on a particular few wires. Remus had learned by now that Virgil was a man of few words and many thoughts; there was always a lot more to what he was saying than the small string of words he poured out.

"Heh. Sorry about that. I woke up in a funk, and though a wake and bake might... help. Didn't anticipate calling... you, though." he rubbed the back of his neck a bit sheepishly, focusing his line of sight on the company logo branded into the lighting fixture. "Can't say it won't happen again though! If I call you when I'm that stoned it means I really, really like you," Remus waggled his eyebrows, winking (specifically to highlight his sarcasm - a wink was a telltale sign that Remus' words were entirely a joke) at an utterly deadpan Virgil.

"Sure." Virgil paused for a moment. "Why're you here so early though?"

"Huh?" Remus replied, finishing twisting the bulb out of the fixture before looking up at Virgil, who was now presenting his phone screen to Remus, showing him the time. "Damn! High me can get punctuality! I thought it was three, not two... I was wondering why you were the only one here!" Remus had resumed his adjusting of the light fixture, hunkered over and partially upside down in a way that made Virgil's stomach churn. He only grunted in reply.

...

A recent sound design project had Virgil and Remus talking a lot more than usual - nearly every day. Virgil thought Remus would be a massive pain in the ass to work with, but he was a surprisingly diligent project partner. His ideas were often... eccentric, and at times too far-fetched, but they served as an excellent foundation. They clashed well with Virgil's taste and general groundedness (by extension, a minuscule helping of insecurity) that he brought to the table. They'd worked together over discord for the last few days, voice chatting and messaging through brainstorming sessions and developing their project.

It was 5pm, and Virgil was just beginning chopping some potatoes for a mash dinner when a message notification popped up on his phone.

TrashMan 42069 im tiiiired. gotta get up early to head into the theater, can we work tmrw mornin instead of tn ? wanna have an early night

Virgil smirked to himself, typing out a response.

since when do you sleep before 1am

but like, go off ig

see ya in the ams

Remus never responded, and Virgil resumed his chopping, and soon was plopping the potato portions into a pre-simmering pot.

Night arrived and fell entirely, leaving Virgil alone with his thoughts in bed, staring at the ceiling desperately as if it would put him to sleep. His bouts of insomnia made for horrible company, and yet another reminder of just how awfully lonely he truly was. He rolled onto his side, facing his bedside table just as his phone lit up and started buzzing.

Remus. Again. Odd. And it was... 11pm, according to the bleary text in the top corner of Virgil's phone screen. Not too bad, I might get to sleep by 2, Virgil noted to himself. He accepted the call before his drowsy brain could think through the decision.

"Shit, hi," Remus breathed. The usual sharp edge of his brash voice was gone, leaving soft, rolling words in its wake. Virgil sighed to himself.

"Hi."

"Did I awaken you from the sleep? I didn't think you'd answer..." Virgil recognized the drawl in Remus' voice then, but he didn't mind it so much. He was too tired to be grumpy about this.

"No, I couldn't sleep. I thought you were having an early night?" Virgil ran his fingers through his hair, rolling back onto his back.

"Ah... right... I told you that..." Remus spoke slowly, as if carrying each word, each syllable the way a mother carries her child. Virgil smiled softly into the darkness. "I was feeling like shit, so... I was just gonna, toke up. Knew I... wouldn't be able to... do any of the project... like this."

"Gotcha," Virgil mumbled. He had closed his eyes, letting himself ease into the sound of Remus' uncharacteristically gentle voice.

Remus started humming on the other end of the line, and that only proved to relax Virgil more. He felt himself grow heavy in the bed, limbs going slack and muscles and tendons untensing.

"Are you still alive?" Remus spoke suddenly. Virgil hummed.

"Yeah, I think so," Virgil said. "Your humming is putting me to sleep," he laughed lightly. Remus grew silent. "Uh, that's not a bad thing," Virgil resolved, "I have a hard time... sleeping, sometimes. Nothing usually helps. That's... uh, helping. If you wanna keep... humming, or talking..." As he spoke, Virgil realized just how weird what he was saying - what he was asking for - truly was. He cleared his throat. "Nevermind."

"I have nothing better to do right now, I can hum you to sleep, Virge," Remus' careful voice replied, ever so slowly. "If that's... what... you meant."

"Um," Virgil chewed on his hoodie sleeve absent-mindedly. "Yeah," he finally huffed, "I'd... like that."

Virgil anticipated a lot more awkwardness at this entire situation from Remus. But Remus was a generally oblivious person to awkwardness, seemingly especially so when he was stoned. He almost immediately resumed his humming, and Virgil was out like a light less than ten minutes later.

"Virgie? Did you go... fall into the sleep?" Remus asked after a while. When he was met with silence other than subtle, even breaths, he smiled to himself. He'd helped someone, even while he was like this. He truly didn't want to be doing anything else right now, so he just kept humming into the phone for a while. Maybe it'll help Virgil sleep even better.

The thoughts that an intoxicated mind produces truly are an enigma.

...

Remus and Virgil's sound design project was one of three being proposed to the directors and head technicians for the next production. The three were created as presentations, just the general idea of the design put together so that the one chosen of the three could be put into proper production by the entire sound team.

Virgil's and Remus' won.

They celebrated by indulging in a pizza lunch together before they were to head into work. A large, half pepperoni and half anchovies.

"Are those things actually good, or do you just eat them because everyone else thinks they're gross?" Virgil asked, chasing the floppy end of his next slice with his mouth. Remus grinned with a glint in his eye that Virgil knew all too well; it meant one thing, and one thing only. Mischief.

"Whah if ih's bof?" Remus spoke through his mouthful of anchovy pizza. Virgil scrunched his nose, punching Remus in the shoulder.

"Chew your food and don't talk with your mouth full, that's hecka nasty dude," Virgil laughed. Remus rolled his eyes in a very unconvincing manner, considering he was still smiling.

"Yef, mom," Remus spoke again through his unfinished mouthful. Virgil shoulder bumped him, and finally took the first bite of his next slice.

Not a week later, Virgil woke up rather late. Well, late for him; around 7am. He slapped a hand to his forehead, sitting up a little too fast. He set his hands on the bed beside himself to try and fight the onset of dizziness. After a few deep breaths and shaking his head and hair out, he reached for his phone.

No notifications, other than 2 missed calls from Remus, at 3:12am. Virgil sighed, laughing to himself slightly. He opened his messaging app.

why do u only call me when ur high lmao

...

Virgil was at the grocery store, milling through the dairy aisle, when his phone started buzzing in his pocket. He was surprised to see Remus' contact as the displayed caller ID, although not that surprised. Remus had called Virgil a few times while he wasn't high since Virgil had sent that message, usually to discuss theater-related things. Though, it wasn't like him to call at 8 in the morning. Virgil pressed the answer button, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey Re, what's up?" Virgil said as he started checking the expiration dates on a few cartons of heavy whipping cream.

"Virgieee... Are you walking around with no shoes on?" Remus' voice was calm and subdued.

"Uh-" Virgil was so caught off guard by the question -and the petname- that he literally looked down at his feet to check. Nope, he'd definitely put on his black high tops that morning. "No? I'm at the grocery store. Wh... what?"

"I saw someone," Remus blurted, speaking slowly. Oh, right. Virgil's lips tightened into a annoyed-and-disappointed expression. Of course he's just baked again. "They looked like you, kinda... no purple hair... but jacket- or, i mean, sweater... uhhhm, no... what's it called?"

"My hoodie?" Virgil offered, glancing down at his purple patchwork hoodie.

"Yeah, yeah, that," Remus drew in a long heavy breath. "they had a hoodie." Remus stopped then, as if awaiting Virgil's explanation expectantly. Virgil scoffed.

"So. You saw someone walking around with no shoes on, who looked kind of like me only based on the fact that they were wearing a hoodie?" Virgil recited.

"Well, yeah!" Remus said as if offended that Virgil needed to ask. "They were black shoes, and... and the hoodie was... just like your black plaid one."

"The one that I like... never wear? How do you even... have you even seen me wear that?" Virgil didn't know why he was asking; he must have if he knew of it.

"You did," Remus started slowly, "one time. The pizza time. Said your other one was dirty." Remus spoke like a small child who was being scolded and felt really bad for what they'd done. "And I thought... maybe you'd... dyed your hair back. I don't know why." Virgil sighed.

"Okay? Well, I promise I have my shoes on, and my hair is still purple, and I'm not wearing that hoodie today. I'm at the grocery store right now." Virgil's voice was harsh and quick, and he immediately felt guilt drop into his stomach like a brick. He had no real reason to be this cross with Remus... he was just a bit cranky that morning. "Can I... pick you up anything while I'm here?" Virgil immediately cringed at his attempt at amendment. What a weird thing to say-

"Ooh! Are you at Trader Joe's?" Remus' voice had a newfound excitement. Virgil smiled to himself, glad that his fumbled recovery wasn't really very fumbled, thanks to Remus'... Remus-y-ness. "They have these chocolate truffles that are soooo good..."

Remus gave moderately incoherent directions to where the truffles were shelved, though Virgil knew his way around the store enough that it didn't matter. After a few minutes, he came upon a small red carboard box with cursive gold lettering and a picture of a chocolate truffle on the front.

"Found them. I... text me your address? I can be over in... well, soon. I guess I don't know where you live." Virgil invited himself over extremely awkwardly.

"You got it, sunshine! See you soon," Remus' tone was a lot lighter and he spoke more quickly and sharply, as he did when he wasn't stoned out of his mind. Perhaps the prospect of having his favorite chocolate truffles had granted him some mental clarity.

The call ended, and moments later, two texts came through from Remus. The first was an address, as promised. The second left Virgil with a familiar sense of blind confusion.

ill start heating the milk

Virgil slid his phone back into his pocket, humming to himself. He'd gotten all the items on his grocery list already, so he headed to checkout. Soon after, he was loading a couple bags into the back seat of his car, setting the two boxes of truffles for Remus on the passenger seat as he strapped in.

The drive was surprisingly short to Remus'; less than ten minutes. He triple checked the address when he pulled up to a three story Victorian house, three doors lined up at the top of a set of marble steps.

He took a breath or two, staring down at the boxes of truffles in his hands and reassessing his situation. You're standing in front of Remus' house like a massive dork because you felt bad for getting annoyed at him on the phone. You decided completely on a whim to bring him some chocolate - of all things, but at least he's the one who specifically asked for it - and show up to his house???? his house. Yeah, this totally isn't weird at all.

Virgil took the steps two at a time, ringing the doorbell at the door farthest to the right. He heard the chime from inside, followed shortly by a shrill screech. A few moments later, there was stomping sounds, and Remus came into view through the window on the door, trampling down the stairs like an eight year old rushing to an ice cream truck. He made it to the door, unlocking it and flinging it open.

"VIRGIE!" Remus yelped, looking ready to bear hug Virgil, but was quickly distracted into marveling over the boxes of truffles Virgil was clinging to his chest. "You bought two!? Gods, this is better than Christmas! Get in here," Remus stepped behind the door, allowing Virgil to step inside.

"Did you... screech, a minute ago?" Virgil asked, looking around. He and Remus were standing in what served as a tiny, tiny foyer, a small rectangle of flooring that gave direct way to a rather large flight of wooden stairs. Virgil could see a shoe cubby and coat rack at the top of the steps, and started stepping up them cautiously as Remus closed the door behind him.

"Yeah. People usually can't hear if I say words, like 'COMING!', so I just kinda... scream. It works!" Remus was tromping up the steps a few stairs below him, and Virgil quickened his pace.

"Got it..."

Virgil slipped his shoes off at the top, stuffing them in the cubby. "See? Shoes," he gestured to the shoes now fit snug in one of the cubbies. Remus smiled a bit too wide, nodding his head harshly. "I also don't have that hoodie on today," Virgil spread his arms, displaying his usual patchwork hoodie.

"I'm mainly glad your hair is still purple. It looks h- I mean, I like it." Remus coughed slightly to himself before stepping around Virgil, starting to sock-slide down the hardwood floor hall. "Kitchen's through here! The milk should be ready!"

Virgil laughed to himself, stepping into the hall to follow Remus' trail. He came upon a slightly ajar door, and seeing a glimpse of a stovetop, he slid into the room.

"I also made some whipped cream!" Remus gestured behind himself at a bowl of whipped cream on the counter as he stirred at a simmering pot of milk.

"What's... what's it for?" Virgil asked slowly, feeling like he missed something entirely.

"Oh! Right," Remus seemed to realize he hadn't filled Virgil in. "The truffles are so frickin good by themselves, but I discovered - sort of by accident, don't worry about it - that they make the best hot chocolate. And I... well, I figured we could have some!" Remus spun around at the last part, saucer of milk in hand and smiling a bit maniacally at Virgil. He stepped over to the counter where there were two mugs beside the bowl of whipped cream. "Bring them things on over here. This show can't go on without the starring role."

Virgil shuffled over to Remus, setting the truffles down beside the whipped cream bowls. He felt the need to speak, but couldn't think of any suitable words.

"one or two? I usually do two, I like mine real rich," Remus said, tearing open one of the boxes of truffles.

"Two," Virgil coughed. Remus smiled brightly at him again.

Virgil observed Remus' process. He plopped two truffles into the bottom of each mug - in the process, popping one into his mouth and offering another to Virgil, who accepted - before pouring the steaming milk over them, nearly to the brim of both mugs. Virgil hadn't expected the truffles to float, but there were two bobbing brown balls rolling around on the surface of the steaming milk in each mug. Remus retrieved a small spoon, stirring gingerly as the truffles rapidly shrunk and dissipated into the darkening milk.

"Will you grab the chocolate syrup? It's in the door of the fridge," Remus commented, beginning to spoon whipped cream onto the surface of the hot chocolate. "Oh, and- nevermind, I got it." Remus reached into a drawer beside him, pulling out a small cheese grater.

Virgil returned with the chocolate syrup, setting it beside Remus' arm.

"Check this out," Remus said, pulling another truffle from the box. He started grating it over the whipped cream dollops, and it gently snowed chocolate shavings. "Isn't it pretty?" Remus glanced at Virgil as he switched mugs.

"Yeah," Virgil breathed, watching the little flakes fall and settle on the surface of the whipped cream.

Virgil felt himself becoming infinitely more relaxed and less anxious the longer he basked in Remus' presence. It had always been this way with him, although maybe it was slightly amplified now that they were alone. He leaned himself on Remus, chin on his shoulder. Remus didn't react, other than softening his movements significantly, as though he were afraid he'd scare Virgil away.

"Yes, yes, yes! Man, this is the good stuff!" Remus exclaimed as he squirted a trail of chocolate syrup over the flakey rain on the whipped cream mountains. Virgil chuckled, reaching for the mug nearest him. "Hey! Not yet!" Remus batted his hand away lightly.

"What else could you possibly want on hot chocolate? Come on, it's getting cold," Virgil whined. Remus only smirked.

"Pantry, top shelf, you'll know it when you see it," He spoke, glancing at the cupboard door a few paces away. Virgil stepped toward the pantry cautiously, opening the door slowly. There, presented proudly on the top shelf, was a bag of mini marshmallows.

"Oh fuck yeah," Virgil reached up, realizing he was far too short to reach the bag. "Uh, one sec," he said, stepping entirely into the pantry, reaching up with all his might. Even stretching as far as he could, he barely reached the base of the top shelf. Remus chuckled from over by the mugs.

"Here, let me help." Remus came up behind him, making to reach over Virgil's head just as Virgil tried to step out of the pantry and out of Remus' way. Virgil essentially walked right into Remus' chest, face to face with his stubbled Adam's apple as he reached for the mallows easily.

Virgil was frozen in place, feeling his face grow hot. Remus looked down at him, suddenly realizing their physical predicament.

"Shit! Sorry!" Remus stepped back, mallows in hand, giving Virgil more than enough room to step out.

"s'fine, don't worry," Virgil mumbled, cheeks red and staring wide-eyed at the floor. Remus laughed a bit nervously, stepping back over to the mugs and beckoning for Virgil to follow.

Once their mugs were properly marshmallow'd (although not s'more'd; neither wanted to go full Ned Flanders on this rainy Saturday afternoon) Remus led Virgil out of the kitchen and further down the hall, to the door at the end which opened up into Remus' bedroom.

Virgil didn't know what he was expecting Remus' personal living space to look like, but whatever it was it wasn't this. There was a very cozy-looking bed that took up most of the floorspace, and a very soft patterned rug at the foot. Against the far wall, beside a wide windowsill, sat an equally cozy-looking loveseat. There were blankets and pillows absolutely everywhere, crowding the loveseat, covering the bed and turning the windowsill into a cozy sitting nook. There was no other furniture, aside from a rustic-looking wooden bedside table that matched a small, overstuffed bookshelf. The walls were entirely covered from floor to ceiling with posters, art pieces, the like; but more than anything, sketches. Scores upon scores of sketches covered every wall, pinned up with colorful tacks and a certain few of them connected to others with small segments of colored string. As well, strung up on some of the hardier tacks were a few strings of fairy lights. Those, plus the salt lamp set on the bedside table made for some extremely lovely mood lighting.

"Woah," was all Virgil could say as he looked around in wonder.

"This is where the magic happens," Remus shoulder shimmied, sidling around Virgil to sit cross-legged on his bed, beginning to nurse his cocoa as he set down the boxes of truffles. Apparently they were far too precious to keep in the kitchen, where Remus' brother could very well steal them.

"Yeah..." Virgil stepped up to a particularly large sketch, one whose tack was connected with string to several others. Something occurred to him. "Are these..." He gestured vaguely at the walls, "are these all yours?"

"All the sketches, yeah," Remus breathed, hiding behind his mug as he took a large sip. He watched Virgil over the brim as the man stared in complete awe.

"That's..." Virgil couldn't think of the right words, and so drew a large sip of his own cocoa. Remus was right, the truffles made for an incredible hot chocolate. He sighed slightly, smiling to himself.

Remus finished his cocoa, tilting his head back to slurp at the residue and remaining whipped cream as he leaned back on his bed slightly. Virgil smirked behind his own mug, licking at his whipped cream.

Remus set his mug beside the salt lamp on his bedside table, beckoning for Virgil to sit with him on the bed. Virgil did, cross-legged an leaning against a pillow that was propped against the wall. He glanced to the windowsill nook.

"You got something of a view," He murmured, craning his neck slightly to see out the window. Remus giggled.

"Yeah! That's where I saw mx. no-shoes earlier." He smiled at Virgil giddily.

"Oh, I see." Virgil smiled back. "Well, I'm here now, purple hair and truffles in the complete package," he spread his arms slightly, and Remus' smile turned into a full grin. He retrieved a truffle from the open box and popped it into his mouth, then throwing a second one at Virgil. It hit him in the chest, and he picked it up, starting to gnaw at it. "You were right, these are super fricking good," Virgil mentioned, taking another large gulp of his cocoa.

"I know right!? Where have you been all my life, beloved truffles," he picked up the unopened box and held it high in one hand, beginning to serenade it. Virgil laughed at him, slapping him on the arm.

"You're a massive dork."

Remus' eyes glinted. "Well I-" He stopped short, the glint disappearing as soon as it returned. Virgil watched his face. No, no dick jokes right now. He gulped and cleared his throat, retracting his arm and pulling out another two truffles from the other box. He held one of them out to Virgil on the palm of his hand. Virgil took it carefully, holding it between his fingers as he took the final sip of his own cocoa.

"Here," Remus reached his empty hand out to take Virgil's mug, setting it beside his own behind them on the bedside table. Remus resumed chewing his truffle, watching the comforter shift with his weight as he leaned back and forth slightly.

"Can I?" Virgil pointed to a few more sketches over the head of the bed. Remus nodded. Virgil got up onto his knees, nearly pressing his chest into the wall as he looked at the many sketches.

Remus got up onto his knees too, sort of knee-waddling over to Virgil's side. Virgil's eyes continued scanning the sketches before they fell onto a particularly familiar looking one. His breath caught in his chest. He reached up to it, tracing the familiar purple plaid of his very own patchwork hoodie. Remus cleared his throat from beside him.

They both spoke at the same time.

"Um, you should probably know that-"

"Remus, I wanted to tell you-"

Virgil turned to look at Remus then, and belatedly realized just how close together they were. Remus' lips were pursed, and Virgil could see that he was chewing at the inside corner of his mouth.

Virgil drew in a breath to speak as Remus moved slightly closer. Pursing his lips shut, he changed his mind, deciding to take a risk.

He surged forward suddenly, shutting his eyes. Remus met him in the middle, and just like that, they were kissing.

It was soft and still at first, lips pressed firmly into each other's. Remus reached one hand up, gently cupping Virgil's cheek.

Virgil pulled back suddenly, but Remus' hand didn't leave his cheek. "I-I'm sorry, I really should've- asked- I meant to say things, i mean, before-" He stopped as Remus set his other hand on Virgil's waist. His face looked incredibly soft and gentle, lips parted slightly as he looked at Virgil like he'd hung the moon.

Virgil intertwined his fingers on the back of Remus' neck, and Remus pulled Virgil back into the kiss.

...

two days later, Virgil was up late again, unable to push himself into unconsciousness. His body was restless even if his mind was exhausted - or perhaps it was the other way around, his mind restless and his body exhausted? He really couldn't tell.

It was nearing 3am, and he was sitting curled in on himself, hugging his knees as he watched the stars out his window. His phone, face-down on the bed beside him, began buzzing.

He tilted his head, sighing as he fought an oncoming wave of exhaustion. He picked up the phone, flipping it to see the caller ID, although part of him hoped knew who it would be.

He pressed the answer button, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Remus."

He heard Remus gasp on the other end of the line, before murmuring a small "hi."

"I... are you not sleeping good tonight?" Remus' curious and confounded expression was almost palpable through the phone. Virgil smiled lazily, recognizing Remus' demeanor immediately.

"No, I'm not, but that's okay. The stars are pretty tonight." Virgil paused, scratching at his chin a bit. "Are you stoned again?"

A long pause. "Yeah," Remus blurted. "Sorry I... I nodded, but then, I realized... you can't see me."

Virgil smiled to himself again. "It's okay."

A long, comfortable silence followed. Virgil was too tired to feel the obligatory need to make conversation, especially with Remus. He'd be a fool to expect any awkwardness after a make out session with the spontaneous blob that is Remus, but he'd still been nervous to see or speak with him again. That all melted away now though, exhaustion and vague contentment taking its place.

"Virgie - uh, Virgil?" Remus piped up after a while, rousing Virgil from his trance.

"Yeah?"

"Do you, remember..." Remus trailed off, and didn't speak for long enough that Virgil almost responded to prompt him. "Did you come to my house, and also, kiss me, or was that a dream?" Even through his stoned lilt, Remus spoke a bit quickly, like he was trying to shove the words out of his mouth before he could change his mind.

Virgil chuckled. "That wasn't a dream, Remus. Yes, I remember." I don't think I could forget it if i wanted to tried.

"Oh." Virgil could hear the smile in Remus' voice. "Can we- I mean, do you want to, uh, do it again? Some time?" he didn't sound hesitant, no; just hopeful, and perhaps as though he felt like he needed to be excessively gentle. It was the sweetest tone Virgil had ever heard.

"I'd like that," Virgil smiled.

Remus sigh-laughed on the other end of the line, and Virgil's smile grew. "Cool," Remus said almost under his breath.

Virgil didn't do it consciously, but a big, loud yawn decided to worm its way out of him at that moment.

"Are you sleepy Virgie?" Remus asked in a strange partial baby voice. Virgil snorted at him.

"I'm literally always tired, so if the answer was no, that would be more concerning," Virgil quipped, but his voice sounded spent. Remus giggled a little.

"Can I hum to you?" Remus asked, smile still discernable in his tone. Virgil felt something warm spark in his chest, like a lighter being flicked and lit.

"I'd like that a lot, too," Virgil murmured, curling up beneath his covers as Remus started to hum.

He was out like a light in less than 5 minutes.

And if Remus stayed on the line for another half hour or so, humming to him and listening to his even breaths, who was to know?

...

Virgil felt like an idiot.

That wasn't an entirely rare feeling to him, but this particular time was different.

Despite his general edginess and rebel-against-society vibe, Virgil had never touched a drop of alcohol or gone near any intoxicating substance in his life. Until today.

He'd been Remus' boyfriend for almost three months now, and it was everything he could have hoped; haphazard night trips to convenience stores that ended in oddly romantic motorcycle rides, the odd gestures Remus's... eccentric mind came up with, and Virgil was in dire need of more hoodies he could let Remus steal. All this, but Virgil was still Virgil. He still had his anxiety disorder, he still dealt with insomnia. Though, sleeping in Remus' arms was proving an impressively effective remedy to the latter.

So, when Remus suggested Virgil look into the medical benefits of marijuana in regards to both anxiety and insomnia, Virgil was... intrigued, to say the least.

He did find a lot of supporting evidence through his research, and... well, he thought, what the hell, right? If Remus smokes it pretty much every day, and if this many articles are claiming its reliability... what harm would it do to try?

So here he was, sitting on his couch, having taken a couple of edibles, waiting for the high to hit him. His hand ghosted over his jean pocket, assuring himself that his phone was there in case he needed to call 911 or something. He was trying to do breathing exercises to maintain some sort of calm, but sitting still wasn't his strong suit.

He'd chosen edibles since he didn't want to have to deal with the whole... smoke and coughing side of things. And he really didn't like the sound of vaping. He figured this would be fine as an introductory experience, but he realized that he had no clue when the edibles would kick in.

He pulled out his phone, typing into google.

Marijuana edibles generally take 30 minutes to an hour to induce any psychological effects on the consumer.

Oh.

Well, he figured, there was no way he could sit still for that long.

He stood, deciding he'd make himself some dinner. Something to busy his hands with, and the leftovers he'd planned on heating up would last another day or two anyways.

He settled on some fettuccine alfredo, fairly simple but one of his childhood favorites. He had a feeling he'd appreciate the comfort food while he was... in an altered state of mind.

Virgil, however, hadn't accounted for the fact that he had an almost unnaturally high metabolism, and before he'd even gotten the pasta in the boiling water, things started to get a little funky.

The first thing Virgil noticed, before he'd even registered that the edibles were kicking in, was how he could hear his thoughts. Not literally, but it felt as though his stream-of-consciousness thoughts were more slow and clear to him, as though he was speaking directly to himself.

As he thought this, his vision suddenly came into alarming focus, and felt oddly like an unstable skyscraper. He stared down at his feet, and they seemed so far away, the floor looked far too far away... He gripped the counter nearest to him, trying to steady himself even if he wasn't actually falling. He didn't feel like he had any control over his center of balance, and even if he was mostly stock-still as a pencil, he thought he might fall down at any moment, down the many stories of building beneath him. But there was no stories beneath him... it was only his legs, which he didn't remember being so long. He stared a little harder at his feet. They weren't abnormally far away, were they?

Virgil vaguely registered the sound of over-boiling water as the realization hit him.

Oh. So this is what it's like.

He turned so that his lower back was stable against the counter, sliding slowly down onto his butt. Standing didn't feel safe right now, even if that made no sense.

He didn't really like this. He felt so isolated, so alone in this moment. He was too out of it to focus hard enough on those thoughts for them to really take root, but he was generally aware of them. So, he did the first thing he could think to do.

He pulled his phone very slowly and carefully out of his pocket, as if he thought it was a brittle sugar cookie. He stared at the dark screen for a solid minute, wondering why it wasn't turning on. Then he realized he had to actually touch the screen for that to happen, and so he did.

From there, it was relatively easy; he unlocked his phone, found the calling app, scrolled around a little haphazardly up and down the contact list before finding Remus' contact.

If anyone could help him feel less alone, if anyone knew what he was experiencing... it would be him.

He took a deep breath and held it as he pressed the call button, bringing the phone to his face as it rang.

It only rang twice before Remus answered. "Hello, Jack Skellington! What can I do for you this evening?" Remus' voice sounded a little extra mischievous, and Virgil couldn't even begin to place why.

He was quiet for a little too long, vaguely trying to decide what to say. "Hi." Not the most eloquent, but it worked for a start.

"Hi," Remus replied, the troublemaking lilt of his voice dissipating slightly. "Is everything okay, Surly Temple?"

Virgil giggled a bit. Your brother is funny. You keep stealing his nicknames for me. "I'm, yeah. Sorry, talking. it's hard. Right now." Virgil spoke haltingly, each word firm but isolated from the last.

"Hmmm..." Remus stroked his mustache from the other end of the line. Virgil giggled again, realizing he couldn't actually see Remus stroking his mustache, but could imagine it vividly all the same. There was no doubt in his mind that he was doing exactly that.

"Oh, 'm high," Virgil added quite belatedly.

"Oh! Well that makes a lot more sense!" Remus laughed, but quickly composed himself again. "What are you doing? Are you feeling okay? Is this your first time? What's happening?"

"Skyscraper," Virgil replied matter-of-factly, as if that cleared the air entirely.

"...right..." Remus replied slowly. "Stormcloud, is it okay if I come over? I don't... I want you to be- uh, to feel safe right now."

"Yes, please," Virgil clung to the phone like it was Remus' arm. "I miss you I'm kinda scared," his words slurred together, but at least he managed to say something slightly coherent. Remus grunted in acknowledgement.

"Okay. I'll be there in ten. Want me to stay on the line?" Virgil could hear shuffling around in the background.

"What're you doin?" He asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at the refrigerator door, since he couldn't actually look at Remus.

"Putting on my shoes, silly! What room are you in right now?" Remus replied, a sense of protectiveness twinged in his voice.

"Kitchen. floor." Virgil swirled his fingers on the wooden floor.

"Okay. Do you want me to stay- oh, fuck it. I'm staying on the line till I get there, okay Virgie?" Virgil heard the sound of a door slamming, followed by vague trafficky noises.

"You're coming," Virgil spoke, registering it in his mind finally.

"Yeah, I'm coming," Remus repeated, and the sound of Remus' car starting sounded shortly after.

Virgil smiled at nothing. "I love you."

The words were a bit slurred together, but he heard them out of his own mouth loud and clear. He almost clapped a hand over his mouth, a little horrified that he'd just said that.

Sure, he'd known he loved Remus for a while now, but they hadn't said it before. He'd almost said it, once, earlier that week while he was laying in Remus' arms on a drowsy Sunday morning, watching the lines of his face shift and harden as he slowly woke up. But he didn't. And now he'd just gone and said it, while he was stoned out of his mind for the first time, sitting on his kitchen floor about to break into tears-

Remus' voice, a little bit strained, interrupted Virgil's thoughts.

"I love you too."

A pause. "I'm almost there, okay? Everything's gonna be fine."

Virgil snuggled down further into his hoodie.

"I know, cus you'll be here."

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #dukexiety #sanders sides fanfiction #ts virgil #ts remus #human au #5 + 1 fic #5 + 1 things #songfic

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infernwetrust · 4 years ago

Text

Luke Langdon [Michael Langdon x Fem Reader] Pt 1.

PART 2

PART 3

Summary: The one where you and Michael have a child together, but like most relationships, there are parenting differences.

Warnings: angst, swearing, a little violence, fluff ig? kinda cute. emotional. I cried towards the end of this lol.

WC: 1.2k

A/N: Short, but a 3 part series! Updating Wandering Eyes, soon. I will be posting another chapter of AHS 1984: Between the Lines, soon as well. Thank you for reading!

"And you'll grow to rule the world." Michael said softly to his 2 year old son who stared up at him, a giggling mess every time his father spoke. "They'll bow to you and attend to your every need. That I will make sure of, Luke." Luke spoke, his sentence barely audible, but it warmed Michael's heart anyway.

"I really wish you would stop telling him all that stuff at his age." Y/N said as you walked in the bedroom, towel wrapped around your body. Michael cocked his head to the side, confused as to why you wouldn't want him speak these things to your son.

"What's the problem?" he questioned, his eyes squinted at you.

"I wish you would stop giving me that stupid look too." You were wrong. It wasn't stupid. It was one of the most sexiest faces that Michael could ever make, but you were mad at him for trying to cement his greatness into the child at a young age. You wanted him to enjoy his younger years without having to stress like Michael did. "You know what the problem is, Michael, because we've had this conversation before already."

"Mrs. Langdon, you've lost me." Michael spoke. "You don't want me to tell our son how great he's going to be? How he's going to rule the world and have people beg for his mercy? Or how they'll drop to their knees and crawl to him, wishing they were in his position, but they know they never will be? What's wrong with boosting his confidence?"

"He's a damn child. I want him to create his own experiences. I want him to tackle the world for what it is. I don't want you teaching him any of his powers until he's the right age. I don't want you to mention what he is. I want him to live a normal life for a while, Michael."

Yes, this wasn't the first time you and Michael had this conversation. He sighed, standing up with the 2 year old, gently placing him in his play pen. Michael promised you every time that he would stop, but then you would catch him saying the exact same thing. You had to admit, him being enthusiastic about his heir, gave you chills and made you smile, sometimes though.

"You know, love." Michael began as he sat back down on the sofa. "I really wish you would be a little bit more honest with the real reason that you don't want me to start instilling my greatness into our son. You're afraid, Y/N. Just say that."

"Afraid of?"

"Afraid that he'll go down the exact same path as I did. Am I right or am I wrong?" Michael's eyes turned a solid black color as he grinned at you. "You're afraid that he'll be rejected, confused, searching for answers, heart broken, just like I was."

"That's not-"

"Don't lie to me, now. I can already hear all your thoughts." He stood up, the room around you slowly getting dimmed as he trapped you and him in your mind. "And while those are all reasons for valid concern, I assure you that he won't have to go through that. I won't abandon him like how I was. As long as I'm here, all of his questions will never go unanswered. He will never have to worry about rejection or feeling loved. He won't worry about needing a place to stay." Michael still wasn't understanding and you were so shy of losing your temper with him.

"Get out of my head." you said, jaws clenched.

"Why do you never just admit things to me? We've been married for 6 years now."

"I said GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" you screamed, causing the both of you to immediately snap out of whatever trance he locked you two in and his eyes returned to their normal color. You had tears falling from your eyes as you shoved him repeatedly in his chest. "I ask you to do one thing and you just can't fucking listen! That's your problem, Michael. You never fucking listen."

"Y/N... I suggest you lower your tone. You're scaring our son." He glanced towards the child, who had an extremely concerned look on his face, then looking back at you. You were over his lack of emotion and stormed out of the room.

"UGH." you screamed as you stormed out, throwing your fists to the side.

"Y/N!" Michael called after you, following you out of the room. "Y/N!" He caught up to you, grabbing you by the arm. You hated that he was so fucking fast. It was like he basically teleported through the room. Still angry, you snatched your arm away, turning around to slap him. And then what happened next, happened way too fast for you to gather your bearings. All the furniture in the room was upside down, some things broken. Michael had you pinned up against the wall, his eyes blacker than the night sky.

"Don't make me, make you, regret doing that." he said with venom in his voice.

"Fuck you." you responded, choking on your own words.

"I could snap your pretty little neck right now and you'd be a thing of the past."

"Do it then. That way I don't have to watch you try to fuck up our son's future." He sighed, his eyes once against returning the normal, him letting you go. This time there was no anger. He stared into your eyes, but not for long before he looked away, squeezing them shut and sighing once more.

"I just... I just wanted to..." he began to say, throwing his hands up in the air and back down to his side. "I get it." A tear fell from his eye as he shrugged. He couldn't even help but chuckle a little bit as he struggled to hold back his tears. This was the first time you've ever seen Michael so emotional, not cuddling Luke, or playing with him, in a while.

"You don't want our son to be a coward like I was. You don't want him to be a failure like I was. Fine Y/N. As of tonight, I won't speak to Luke like that anymore."

"Michael that's not what I was trying to say." you said, walking towards him, but he stepped away, turning around and heading for the backdoor. He pushed them open aggressively, not caring if they slammed into the sides of the walls, before he slammed them back closed, not caring if the glass shattered. All of those things were easily replaceable. You could see him out there, pacing back and forth and running his hands wickedly through his hair. If you couldn't see any better, you would say that he was hyperventilating. Then all you heard was a loud,

FUCK.

You watched as Michael through the lounge chair across the deck before continuing to pace around. You felt horrible. You didn't believe Michael was a coward or a failure. You simply just wanted your son to be able to reach an age where he could fully understand. You didn't want him to be forced out into what he really is like his father was, but like usual, hot-tempered, Michael misunderstood. You sighed, wiping away your tears, deciding that you would give him a few minutes to calm down before even attempting to talk to him. That last time you tried to intervene, it ended with all the new dishes you two bought being completely shattered.

And you would hate for that to happen again, especially with Luke in the house.

Taglist: @jimmason @angelicmichael @whatcodysaid

#cody fern #michael langdon #michael langdon imagine #ahs #ahs apocalypse #american horror story #american horror story apocalypse

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my-darling-boy · 5 years ago

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Heyo! So I am thinking about starting to bind, and was wondering if you had heard of the brand Flavent? If so what do you think of their binders? And are there any tips about binding that would be helpful? I don’t really know how to go about any of it. Also I wanted to say that I really love your blog’s aesthetic!!

Oh I have! Flavnt is a great brand actually, I’ve ordered from them before and follow them on ig. Their binders are so good in fact every time they get them in stock, they go out of stock just as quick!

And if you’re a first time binder, I’ve actually got helpful info for you!

Firstly:

NEVER wear the binder while sleeping. Do not go for a full night’s sleep with the binder on. You should always be conscious and aware of how your body is responding to the binder AT ALL TIMES.

NEVER use first aid bandages, muscle tape, or ACE Bandage if you lack a proper binder. Bandages like those are meant to be wrapped around things you do not want to move, and your ribcage needs to expand for you to breathe!! Wrapping your chest with these tight, constricting products not only heavily restricts breathing but you also run the risk of cutting off blood circulation to the rest of your body, rapidly damaging nerves in your breasts, back, and torso, increased chance of tearing your lungs from the lungs inflating with no space for expansion, bruising your back and ribcage, ruining skin elasticity quicker in your breasts which will limit top surgery incision types, and PASSING OUT due to prolonged lack of oxygen and/or blood flow to your brain. I know you see stereotypical drawings or stories of trans people binding with ACE but DO NOT DO IT. I speak from experience as I still have nerve damage in my back and damage to my breast tissue from doing it when I first started binding at 14. (Same risks apply for wearing a binder that is way too tight!)

NEVER use a binder from a non-reputable seller. If the product is simply this strange looking cheaply priced band which goes across the chest or tries to market itself as a “lesbian, tomboy, woman binder” IT IS NOT SAFE. These “binders” can have the same consequences as listed above. If you’re unsure if a site is safe, a simple web search will usually provide some insight in a few short minutes.

With this in mind, here is some info on reputed sellers:

FLAVNT, with their famous Bareskin Binder in a variety of skin tones and sizes, is starting to be a go-to for binders. The company is run by a trans guy and a lesbian if I remember right, and usually proceeds from their products will go directly towards funding select people’s top surgeries. They also have awesome trans/gender non-conforming themed merch to buy too!

Underworks is the brand I have always used. Originally started for men with gynecomastia, they have expanded their products to trans/gender non-conforming people. Unlike the other companies in this list, they use a medical grade mesh layered material for their binders which some find to be more durable/better binding but others find to be uncomfortable/not suited for their body type. It all depends!

Gc2b has been the go-to for binders for a long time and people are usually really happy with their order! I can’t say too much about them cos I have admittedly never ordered from because cloth binders never seem to fit me correctly? But the reviews are great!

Shapeshifters is one I have encountered recently from this article from a plus-sized trans person about binding as a plus-sized trans person! They offer custom sized binders with a variety of designs and sites like these are often the best option for people who have trouble with finding the right fit among the limited industry sizes!

On sizing/fit:

-BINDERS FROM EACH COMPANY HAVE DIFFERENT SIZE CHARTS. Things like the brand’s fit, material used, and your body shape can all affect how a binder fits. A small from one company will not always be a small from another one. A lot of the time, only chest measurements are used to determine your binder size and some find that alone not to be enough to find the right fit. Thence, some people opt for custom sized binders like Shapeshifters as mentioned above.

-The most important thing is that you are able to breathe in it! If you have any numbness or tingling in your limbs or under the binder, or feel light headed/short of breath (that is not caused by anxiety) TAKE OFF THE BINDER. You may need to order the next size up and continuing to wear a too-tight binder is dangerous.

-During your first times wearing a binder, you may feel it to be almost too snug, and this is because you need to break it in, so some pinching, discomfort, tightness is to be expected at first. However, if it persists beyond your first few wears, your binder may be too small. But do know there are some people who end up always having a bit of pinching/cutting due to their body shape/weight, even if their binder is compressing nicely. If you’ve never used a binder before: take it in small time frames. Wear it for an hour or two at first, remove it, then up the time from there to see how your body fairs with each time you wear it. Don’t start out wearing it the full eight hours.

-If you are in between sizes, DO NOT ORDER A SIZE DOWN. Often, the size is not going to be a little smaller but dramatically smaller.

-Binders come in two lengths: cropped and full torso. It doesn’t always matter which one you buy, but some people find if they have a larger waist, they like the full torso binders whereas I can’t wear them because my waist is way too small and my chest slips down, so I only order cropped binders to focus the compression on just my chest

-If you have a problem with your chest slipping down in the binder, some people like to wear sleeveless undershirts beneath the binder itself to prevent this

-You’ll generally know the binder is too tight. But if you’re still on the fence: if you cannot fully take a deep breath in, the binder is too small!

On safety concerns, effects from binding, and other little tips:

-Avoid wearing it for longer than 8 hours. Some people are able to wear it a little longer than this time due to much less compression from their binder. Regardless, DO NOT bind for more than 8+ hours ON A FREQUENT BASIS even if the binder still feels comfortable. We all get stuck in situations or unexpectedly long work days in our binders sometimes but PLEASE try to avoid wearing the binder for any longer than you need to. Take it off when there’s no need for it. Take entire rest days from the binder if you find yourself in it for long periods of time. YOUR BODY NEEDS REST FROM YOUR BINDER NO MATTER YOUR CHEST SIZE. Trust me.

-Avoid doing any prolonged, strenuous activity such as intense exercise. While I have worn it to the gym for basic workouts and barre classes plenty of times with zero chest/back soreness or issues, I obviously didn’t do this every day and I wasn’t doing this for collectively more than 40 minutes and didn’t wear the binder for the rest of the day because I was home. But again, it is SAFER if you DO NOT wear it during gym time. Opt instead for sports compression bras and shirts that make the chest area ambiguous when you exercise.

-Avoid wearing it on airplanes. This one is often disputed, but it is generally believed that wearing a binder on an airplane will cause restricted breathing due to high altitude even in a pressurised cabin. Yet, I have worn my binder on four 11 hour flights (removing halfway through for sleeping) and had ZERO issues with breathing/comfort. It’s possible that people being unable to breathe comes instead from claustrophobia in the cabin, anxiety with flying, sitting position, or preexisting medical conditions and they attribute it to the binder. Personally, I think it’s safe to wear binders on airplanes because every time I’ve flown, I’ve had no issues, and trans guys I know personally have also had no issues, but this doesn’t mean it’s right for EVERYone. Wear it at your own risk.

-Additionally, avoid wearing it on turbulent/fast rides as the high velocity can increase compression on your chest. Again, I’m a Bad Boyᵀᴹ and I’ve worn it on plenty of upside down rides, including wearing it on that fair ride that spins you around so fast, gravity pins you to the wall. In all these situations, I again felt nothing and even forgot I had the binder on.

-I mention the “less safe” ways I have bound before for a reason. Please don’t think Binder Horror Stories happen to everyone. I used to spend so much time worrying about how Dangerous my binder could be, afraid to wear it even, but guess what? When I felt the binder needed to come off? I took it off. When I thought it might be actually unsafe to do something in my binder? I didn’t do it. I LISTENED to myself and my body, and that is overall the SAFEST thing you can do. This is how I’ve avoided binder complications for 7 YEARS. Even the general rules have a bit of relativity to them. I’ve met people who think they can bind for 8 hours safely when they were in horrible pain at just 4 hours, but continued to wear it because “It’s safe to wear for 8 hours because a trans guy told me so!” ONLY YOUR BODY sets how long and in what situations you can bind in. Bind in a way that is safe and comfortable for YOUR BODY. Additionally, most negative affects from a binder happen over prolonged periods of time after CONSTANT situational misuse, so if you wear it on the rare occasion when you think you shouldn’t have, it’s not the end of the world. Check back with your doctor if you are concerned with how your binder may be affecting you. Even binding using—or not using—the general accepted avoidance rules can prove risky if you do not listen to your body first and foremost. Everyone’s experience and limits vary considerably!

-Binding for roughly over 3-4 years, your chest may begin to droop because of the constant compression slowly wearing down the skin elasticity of the breasts. This could potentially negatively affect chances of minimal incision top surgery. For example, I have been binding for 7 years and now have a tiny chest from T which would’ve made me perfect for keyhole, but alas, binding for 7 years gets me double incision

-Keeping your binder clean is important, as you can get very hot in it regardless of the weather. Be sure to keep it washed in cold water and hang dry to keep its form or use low dryer heat to restore some of the “stiffness” if you find it getting a little loose fitting. A dirty binder will cause body acne as well

-In hot weather, avoid wearing it as much as you can to avoid overheating, or wear light and airy fabrics to reduce the chances of profusely sweating in the sun with it on

-Preexisting medical conditions that affect the lungs, nervous system, or muscles/bones in your arms, chest, neck, or back may cause you a series of unique difficulties other binding people do not have so please be aware of this

-Sometimes panic attack + binder = increased panic attack because you think you can’t breathe. If the space permits it, pull the binder down from your chest area to allow you the fullest breaths possible

Lastly, getting the binder on:

Everyone has different ways to get it on, but the most widely used is this method. Start by making it so the binder is wrong-side-out and upside down. Step into the opening (straps towards the ground) and slide it up your body. Once you get to about your waist, you’ll want to get the binder right-side-out by slipping your wrists in through the straps and “flipping” the garment up your torso as the you slide the straps up and onto your shoulders. You also want to make sure your chest is basically shoved Upwards and Outwards under the binder towards your underarms. To do this, I lay flat on the floor/bed and lift the right and left sides of the binder briefly to allow my chest to naturally fall back towards my underarms. DO NOT flatten your chest downwards by smashing all of the tissue and your nipples down towards your sternum for it will cause your chest to droop faster on top of being painful. I made a handy little doodle to show you what I mean!

Anyway, I hope this helps! x

Anyone who has some other tips that may be helpful for binding, feel free to add on!

#asks #ftm #ftnb #trans #transgender #ok to rb #long post

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