#update: did it for myself and got cinnamon. it's really sweet actually

[chasingtitans]

WHAT FLAVOR IS YOUR SOUL?

vanilla

oh heart of ice and mind of gold, what am I to do with you? you are only good in small amounts, bittersweet fledgling, you are hard for most to swallow. your spirit is strong, your wit is potent, your biting essence drives even the most daring away. but why are you hiding your sweetness? I know within you, you are soft, but humanity has made you bitter. you mask your pain and sorrow with spite and sensibility. you say you do not care about trivial things, but don't you? sweetheart relax. you can let down your drawbridge, the waters are not poisoned. I know you have looked monsters in between the eyes and scoffed at them, but please, relax. you think your armor protects you but it is smothering you slowly. little owlet, when will you learn, words can only get you so far? feelings are what makes this world pulse. do not suppress your feelings. your heart can still thaw my dear. trust.

tagged by: stole from @inkorrnate tagging: @dieasone @auragifted @thechipsaredown @aamusedly + steal it!

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 39 Doomish Hope Posting

Hi internet void. I've got bachi on the brain again.

Chapter 39 is the "if they aren't soulmates I'll eat every hat I own" moment of the series. Also seems like the "Hakuri will be shelved once the mission is done" chapter, which is a fucking shame. But I will remain calm(ish) and wait for Hokazono-sensei to finish cooking. So we start off with some really nice foreshadowing coupled with a little continuity update. Mr. Inazuma found his way to Char and Hinao and sees some of the folks from the storehouse get dropped off at the entrance, but his sister isn't among them. Hmm. Then, we switch back to the fight and see our precious Hakuri struggling. He's got a free-flowing nosebleed and a splitting headache trying to keep up with his dad's manipulation of the subspace. And hey look, some more foreshadowing. (Hint: Kyoura isn't talking to Chihiro full time here.)

Yet once again Kyoura underestimates his son...

… while Chihiro's faith never wavers. Once more, despite nothing being said between them, they fight in perfect harmony.

Aaaaah. THESE GUYS. They've known each other for weeks at most and they're already doing this mad OP shit? Hakuri awakened to his storehouse powers less than an hour ago and he's already copying his dad's techniques to match Chihiro's fighting style? Chihiro fucking yeeted Enten at Kyoura without a word and Hakuri instantly understood that he needed to teleport him to the other side to catch it, then create a hologram for a fake-out so Chihiro could land the blow? Are you KIDDING ME? Our color-coded protagonist/foil pair are acting as one already? Hokazono-sensei's gotta slow down or we won't have anything left to explore with them.

Maybe that's the intention, though.

The little flashback where young Hakuri tells his father that "I'm gonna become a leader who surpasses you!" is a huge moment in the chapter for two reasons. First, the emotional catharsis that I'll rant about later. Second, the next potential bit of foreshadowing. When Hakuri initially met Chihiro, his stated goal was to end the Rakuzaichi, which we took him at his word for. He didn't know he was actually the second coming of Sazanami Jesus and neither did we. But that single panel recontextualized everything. If Hakuri hadn't been deemed worthless and disowned, the Toukuri AU could have been pretty close to canon. He's actually a very ambitious guy- no wonder he was so dogged about getting Chihiro to help him! Obviously, his goal shifted from "become a better leader than my father" to "burn it all down" at some point during the time where he was abused. But what if he never fully let go of that dream?

We see that the Sazanami family is huge and powerful enough that even the government treads lightly around them. So it's not a stretch to think that Sazanamis will be able to continue on even without Kyoura as long as they have a capable leader. Someone perhaps a bit more reform-minded to keep the government off their back while they adjust to a new way of doing things. A guy who's too stubborn to quit and powerful enough to quell the critics; a legitimate heir who invokes the legend of their progenitor's genius, perhaps. Someone who has a deeply personal stake in erasing the legacy they were all groomed to protect. So yeah, Hakuri could very easily get wrapped up in his family's business while Chihiro moves on. Not to say he would never be relevant again- the storehouse ability alone practically guarantees he's sticking around in some capacity (gotta have a safe place to keep those WMDs and all). But I'm steeling myself for seeing a lot less of this lethal cinnamon roll in a few chapters.

Ideally for me at least, Hakuri and Chihiro end the Rakuzaichi and let the government step in to take care of the aftermath. Hakuri, being disowned and having completed his revenge, decides to stay with Chihiro to help him on his own journey. And wouldn't it just be so sweet if much later on Chihiro adopts him into his family register so Hakuri has a last name he can be proud of? But the very real chance of Hakuri being sidelined is preventing me from full investment right now. It all depends on the themes Hokazono-sensei is intending to impart with this arc.

The theme of reforming your family's violent legacy is obviously deeply resonant with Chihiro's current mission. The two of them have basically speedran the development from strangers to soulmates so that this could happen. I just don't understand why we'd do all of this relationship upgrading in a single arc if Hakuri was meant to stick around and grow with Chihiro y'know? What could possibly be left open for them after this? Wouldn't it be too OP to keep them together when they're already silently dancing through battles in perfect sync? They've already reached peak combat effectiveness or close to it. And though Hakuri's family issues are very likely to still be an albatross around his neck, those are for him to tackle now that he's found his strength; Chihiro's got other things to focus on. Leaving the arc with Hakuri posed to reform the Sazanamis would be a worthy culmination of his story. At this point he's practically used goods (narratively speaking)! Chihiro learned a lesson and made a friend. Time for something new… maybe checking in on the Kamunabi? A little downtime before finding the next sword? Either way, Hakuri doesn't need to be there when he could be rehabilitating his family's image and purpose. Unless…

He's used to explore the theme of healing from tragedy as the heroine.

Yes I'm spouting my bullshit again and yes I'm very fucking serious about this. My clown suit is freshly dry-cleaned and neatly laid out because I could easily be wrong but I think (hope) I'm not. Mostly because it seems like Hokazono-sensei wants to keep showing us glimpses of Chihiro's true feelings under his hardened persona. Very smart thing to do in order to get readers invested beyond his badass action stunts and tragic backstory. But we need someone to bounce off of him and be a direct contrast or else we're stuck with lonely ol' :| Chihiro all the time. (I love the deadpan gags but they won't stay fresh forever if that's the only joke to make with him.) We need a real companion for him that's on his level. Chihiro's so far skewed into expressionless determinator outside of battle that he desperately needs a polar opposite to help mellow him out. I raved like a lunatic about it already so I won't retread all that… but if Hakuri isn't a color-coded foil to balance out Chihiro's extreme personality then fuck me for thinking I'm somewhat media literate, I guess. We need Hakuri for levity and being able to relate to Chihiro. Poor guy desperately needs a friend to help pull him out of his own head. If Char is there for protection, and Shiba to guide him, Hakuri should be there for him to grow with in an emotional sense. Someone he can start opening up to in quiet moments.

The memers got it badly wrong assuming that Chihiro was a one-dimensional revenge bot- he's actually a sensitive guy carrying a lot of pain he can't express. Not to Char (small child), not to Shiba, Azami, or Hinao (adults he's emotionally closed off from). It's gotta be a peer like Hakuri who will eventually be able to sit by his side and help him. We've seen the magic of Hakuri's presence already- Chihiro admitting he was fearful of Shinuchi being misused in the elevator scene, helping him overcome his doubts about using Enten, and later helping him let Enten go. Yuge stuff for guys that just met each other, don't you think? Then it was followed by all that soulmate-coded stuff in the raid… It would be awful for Chihiro to lose the friend he can confide in. So if the story pulls them apart my heart will break a little bit, yeah. There's so much more Hakuri can do just by being there for Chihiro in a way no one else can right now. Chihiro needs his heroine to be vulnerable with, so let it be the guy who's already done the heavy lifting! Hakuri's a sturdy guy, after all- I'm sure he can handle being comic relief and emotional support.

Alright. HakuHiro delusions aside, I'm also going absolutely apeshit over the parallels being drawn here during the chapter. Feral. Certifiably insane. Cannot stop myself from jizzing all over the goddamn place. If Hokazono-sensei can keep this quality storytelling through Kagurabachi's entire run it'll be a fucking masterpiece.

I mentioned at the start that Mr. Inazuma's sister was used to foreshadow that the fight between Kyoura and team HakuHiro wouldn't end decisively this chapter. Her situation won't be resolved until the Rakuzaichi is completely over with, so that catharsis will have to wait. What we did get is absolutely stellar though. Kyoura definitely got the ultimate comeuppance for constantly underestimating Hakuri, too. The dialogue and inner thoughts leading up to this were a work of art- the reveal of Hakuri promising to overtake his dad as a kid and finally doing just that after being deemed worthless is mega satisfying (and another sign his arc is complete, but I choose to live in delulu land). However, it was the Daddy Issues theme that really stole the show for me this chapter.

Chihiro's conversation with Kyoura really drives home the irreconcilable differences they have on what it means to be a father, or even a family in the first place:

The Sazanamis are just a "clan" to Kyoura. A group of people dedicated to hosting the Rakuzaichi before anything else. Blood ties are only worthwhile for passing down Isou and the storehouse ability; there's no love lost between any member. And Chihiro most definitely does not agree with that mentality. We're constantly reminded of his rebuke about Kyoura's "best" being belief in Hakuri for a reason...

... because he is the antithesis of everything Chihiro believes a father should be. Chihiro's got some personal beef with this guy beyond reclaiming Shinuchi after seeing how he treats his kids. (This guy gets attached to people and starts killing for them right away if they've got dead or abusive parents… we love to see that empathy being manifested as murderous intent.)

This sequence killed me though:

Kyoura is paying the ultimate price for not loving his kids like a real father should. He's fucking toast because he stopped believing in Hakuri. Chihiro's outlook is validated in this victory, as is Hakuri's entire existence. Obviously there's a lot more still going on with the auction itself but it's almost mission accomplished and emotional catharsis achieved for Hakuri. Then we see the biggest message of this arc so far when Kyoura hides himself in the floor to keep the auction going at all costs… fanatical devotion at the expense of love leads to a Bad End. It's sad to see this guy put his whole being into selling a sword, man. He's dying and his only thought is to finish the auction. Not to seek help from his kids or even check on them, not to spare some dying words for Hakuri or the Tou or anyone else. He doesn't even question the life he lived that led to this point like you'd seen in other manga- Kyoura isn't shaken one bit by his untimely demise. He only cares about giving the highest bidder their merchandise.

That's the lesson here for Chihiro. He's hellbent on revenge right now- gather the swords, fuck up the Hishaku clan that killed his father. But losing himself in it will leave him no better off than Kyoura; even if he succeeds, he'll die alone in the end. His devotion to revenge is as strong as Kyoura's is to hold the auction. Both are rooted in their family's ideals and upbringing as well. Chihiro's saving grace is that he was raised with love and knows how to care. Forgetting all that, or giving that up to see his plans through will be a bad sign for his development. The people close to him will have to keep him centered or else he'll see the same terrible end (as much as it's possible; he's a very sad and broken boy). And we the reader will expect someone to be there to remind him of his humanity if he starts to show shades of this in future arcs. This very chapter, Hakuri had to encourage Chihiro to kill his dad even after he'd already asked him to do it- Chihiro's a kind guy even when he's in a fight to the death. This is precious. He can't lose this quality- we should be very alert for anything that hints at him starting to do so, because that will be the start of a very, very rough arc for him.

What about Hakuri? Well, he's been thoroughly vindicated ever since he awakened to his abilities; this whole raid has been his self-redemption arc. His character will probably be pretty complete once this is done, though there are lots of avenues to explore with him if Hokazono-sensei hears our pleas and keeps him around. He could have lingering trauma that needs to be healed- killing his dad won't help him escape his own demons after all. He's got a learning curve ahead to master his newfound abilities too. And perhaps even after finding his strength, he's still too hard on himself and needs someone to keep pushing him forward. Maybe once his life's mission is done he'll struggle with some dark emotions and need someone to help pull him out. There are plenty of little things to delve into with him to help us gain more insight into Chihiro! Please I'm so desperate to keep him around Hokazono-sensei for the love of god don't separate these boys. They're perfect supports for each other and as we all know, boys who suffer together should find solace together. If Azami/Shiba and Hiyuki/Tafuku can be foil pairs so can Hakuri/Chihiro! (Fuck me, I'm too invested already…)

Anyway. Kagurabachi continues to be peak fiction and I can't wait for what we'll see next week. If Hakuri becomes a permanent crew member I will glady put the clown suit away and start huffing copium that we'll see enough success to get an anime adaptation. I might even start writing fan fiction again (horror). If not, well... he'll still be dear to my heart. Peace out Bachibros who read this nonsense and stay tenoí.

[purplesurveys]

1271

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - When was the last time you were at the beach? What did you do there? 2019. It was a daytrip with a few friends, and for the most part we had just sat by the sand and then taken dips in the water whenever we felt like it. We went when there was supposed to be a typhoon entering the city so the resort was literally empty. Anyway, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing that would’ve been such a fun and wholesome memory in my head if not for the fact that my ex tagged along for that trip.

2 - When was the last time you updated your profile picture somewhere? What is your current photo of? A week or so ago, I think? I had had a few drinks and tipsy-me changed my profile photo to something goofy; by the time I woke up the next day I just changed it right back to the profile picture I had before the change.

3 - Who was the last person you spoke to online? How do you know this person? Someone from HR since I did a minor booboo on the website where we have to clock in and out, and I was asking how I could help fix it.

4 - When was the last time you got a blister on your foot? A fewwww months ago, I wanna say? I remember struggling when I recently bought a pair of adidas sneakers.

5 - What was the last reason for taking painkillers? Did they work to make you feel better? I only ever take painkillers for my headaches. Yeah, they always work.

6 - Which do you prefer - Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr or TikTok? Ooh idk. I enjoy each of them for different reasons, but I guess I’ll go with Facebook since I never run out of funny content/memes over there. TikTok I like too but then again all the TikTok clips I run into are on Facebook anyway.

7 - If you drive, how much does it cost for you to fill your car up? If we’re going from a nearly-empty tank, I think it takes roughly around P1500 to fill it up, or roughly $30.

8 - When was the last time you walked over five miles in one day? Maybe last July when I went to the mall with friends. I remember doing quite a lot of walking that day and I’m sure the total distance was more than five miles.

9 - What's your favourite brand of ice-cream and which flavour from that brand do you like best? I don’t really like ice cream, but I guess the yummiest I’ve had are Aice’s coffee ice cream and Ben & Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough.

10 - Are you a fan of scented candles? If so, what kind of scents do you like the most? I am a fan, but it’s not something I’m obsessed with enough to buy for myself. I’ve gotten scented candles as gifts and I can live off of those alone, lol. As for scents, I like ocean-y or sweet ones, like cinnamon.

11 - What did you order the last time you went out for a meal? The last time I went out for a meal...I think that was Taco Bell. I got one of their burritos and some deep-fried side, but I don’t remember which one it was. But right now I literally also just placed an order from KFC; I got a Double Down (FINALLY), and two orders of Fun Shots – one for me and another for the delivery guy as a way to thank him for taking my order at midnight. 

12 - Who was the last person to visit your house? What were they there for? Ooh we haven’t received visitors in a while. I wanna say the last guests were still Angela and Hans, from the time we watched Sowoozoo together.

13 - If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be and why? I’d fix my teeth so I can finally feel entirely confident when smiling.

14 - How many miles/km's do you drive/walk on an average day? LOL like 0.5. I’m always at home.

15 - What's more annoying, a stone in your shoe or an eyelash in your eye? STONE IN SHOE. It hurts like hell and I have to stop whatever I’m doing to get it out, too.

16 - Do you get your groceries delivered or do you prefer to go the store yourself to pick them? I don’t do the family’s groceries but when I’m craving a snack or need toiletries for myself or whatever, I order online.

17 - How many surveys would you say you take a week, on average? Probably like 5 or 6. I only ever get to take them during the weekends now, but occasionally I’ll get to sneak in one or two in the middle of the week.

18 - What percentage is your phone battery on right now? 76%.

19 - What have you had to eat/drink so far today? Are you planning to have anything else before you go to bed? I had chicken fillet with rice for dinner, andddd that’s all I had for today haha. Right now I’m just waiting for my order to arrive. I do feel bad for giving into a craving but I’m trying to justify it by saying, 1) I literally sponsored three birthdays in the last two weeks, 2) this work week had been particularly been brutal, and 3) the Double Down is a limited-time offer thing so best to get it before it randomly disappears again for the next like three years. 

20 - Have you ever donated to anyone's GoFundMe before? I don’t think so, no. But I’ve shared links.

21 - Have you ever won money on a scratch-card or lottery ticket? What did you spend it on? Nope.

22 - What was the last reason for you to leave your house? I went to Angela’s house for her birthday last Wednesday.

23 - Assuming you had all the money, space and knowledge necessary, what animal(s) would you love to keep as a pet? I’d still choose a dog.

24 - How many times a week do you get takeaway food/drink? I try not to make it into a habit. I get food delivery probably only once or twice a month.

25 - Are there any pets in the room you're in right now? What are they doing? Nope. Both dogs are downstairs.

26 - What was the last thing you took a photo off? Did you upload it onto social media anywhere? Yeah, Anj gave me Taehyung’s Persona postcard. Funny story about that; she had kept pushing it onto me but I vehemently refused because it’s her merch, until she finally said, “it’s fake, just take it” for me to take the bait. A day later she messaged me saying, “by the way the postcard’s an original” :------) Anyway after that I took a photo and uploaded it so I can thank her.

27 - How long have you know the friend you've known the longest? It’s 16 years this year.

28 - Have you ever had a job where you had to wear a uniform? No. We have a dress code, but no uniform.

29 - What time do you tend to get up/go to bed on a weekday? 8:30 AM/1 or 2 AM.

30 - What's your soda/soft drink of choice? I don’t like soda and I try to remain un-into it, but I tried Pepsi a few months ago and actually liked it, so I guess we can go with that.

[gevejsbvdj]

Pt. 2

the continuation of what inspired my leave beneath the cut

I have a friend, who I got along with really well because we are both Afro Latinas (only she can speak Spanish. I don’t, not really) and we are black kids who had an interest in unconventional topics. I messaged her before disappearing about the ending of the server. I was keeping her updated all throughout, but after telling her the ending, I left her on read

I won’t disclose what I got up to during my absence. But again, don’t think that I had a breakdown because of the server ONLY. It was the final straw. I had so much going on in my life and I couldn’t take it anymore. 

Anyways, she took it upon herself to send hateful messages to Ley’s account and thought it was something to be proud of and told me. I...wasn’t impressed. But I still didn’t respond to our chats. Then she (her name is Rex. I’m gonna call her that) dmed Ley and was actually pretty aggressive towards her in an attempt to get answers. Again, not impressed but it was enough for me to actually come online. I feel like that’s why she acted out, to get me online. I don’t think she cared about me and used my pain to hurt others.

I had extremely brief, passing conversations with people who weren’t involved with the situation at all right before I messaged Rex. 

Ley was special to me before her message. I was always very defensive and protective of her like I was everyone else, but her especially because I thought she was nice. And I remembered when people were being mean to me, she reached out. And I still appreciate her for doing that. 

Which was why it was so confusing when Rex told me that they were all mad at me because I ACCUSED JOANE OF GROOMING PEOPLE. They wanted a reason to make me the villain so badly that they made shit up.

Notice how here, she says that I called Joane a FUCKING PEDO. Not even just a groomer but an outright PEDOPHILE. 

I’ve been raped. I’ve been sexually assaulted, groomed, all of that. I don’t say shit. I never say anything. I’ve even been accused- yes, ACTUALLY ACCUSED unlike Joane- to being a paedophile. I’m 19. Not even just that but I’m freshly 19. I got accused when I was 17. But I would never just- ughhhh moving on I don’t wanna get into it. 

When Rex asked for proof, this is way Ley sent her:

In this screenshot, I’m literally discussing how Joane’s childish behaviour could get her killed. I was concerned. Again, where’s the bullying?

Rex told me that Ley said she was wrong for not having proof, and I understand. Ley wasn’t present when it all went down

But really Ley? 

I heard a quote from someone that said something like “if someone believed a lie about you without checking up on you first to see if there was proof, then they were already looking for something to destroy you with to begin with” or SOMETHING like that. So I thought back to that quote and felt awful. I always suspected that they didn’t really like me, but always marked it up to my depression talking nonsense. But after all of this...maybe it was true. Why did I come out the most damage? Why were they making up lies about me? Me, out of all of them. Why was I consistently being seen as the bad guy overall? No really tell me. 

Anyways, this was Ley’s justification to believe that I would say such an awful thing:

Okay. Let’s just say that- Joane WAS a groomer. That she actually is a paedophile and I commented on it. She’s obviously not but I’m pulling a Ben Shapiro here. Everything else is the same only Joane is a paedophile. 

That motherfucking “it’s weird that he only spoke up when they were arguing” argument, and other arguments like that are so fucking toxic. As well as “well it wasn’t a problem that never came up before” so??? That’s what the fucking #metoo movement was all about. Timing means NOTHING when it comes to that. It doesn’t matter if it’s Joane or fucking Bill Cosby. The fact that thought came to Ley’s head is so fucking upsetting and DISGUSTING.THAT mentality is why people never want to believe victims of assault. Same goes for “they could have said that privately” guys she’s talking about that user who said they were uncomfortable with Joane coming onto him. Privately? It was private to him. In that server, we’ve made it known that it’s a very homey and comfortable environment. And who the fuck are you to tell someone where and when they can speak up about something like that???

Also, she accused me of calling her a pedo again. Good for me right? I’m a bully and I’m someone who just blindly calls people paedophiles. Good for me, damn. 

No, you shouldn’t believe someone right away when they call someone a groomer. God don’t I know that. But you definitely don’t say THAT what the fucking fuck. 

Jesus. Okay, moving on. 

Rex aggressively messaged Mel who had something similar to say:

uggh, you WERE the toxic environment i wanted to flee from,.

It hurts. It hurts a lot to see another friend you looked up to call you a bully. And that they just say that you called someone a groomer when you didn’t. 

Mel couldn’t provide proof either. 

Mel also tagged her post with someone kinda ignorant. 

Imagine if (thinking of someone I and others don’t always agree with) someone like James Charles made a post broadcasting all the homophobia he dealt with during his career, and I or some other asshole said something “while I don’t always agree with James…” like now isn’t the time. Now isn’t the time to let people you know you disagree with me ESPECIALLY on a post where you agree with me 100%??? What is the point then? You agreed with me, so agree with me. There. No one is saying that you have to agree with everything I say lord fucking knows I don’t always agree with you guys. fucking DUH. It makes me think you just wanted to put that in to lesson me and my words, even only slightly. Why? That hurts a lot, Mel. It really fucking does bruh.

When Rex called her out on it, she deleted the reblog. Not just the meagre little tag but the whole post. If she couldn’t be slick with me, then she wasn’t going to support me at all. It isn’t worth it if she can’t be shady. That’s the message I got from that. Tells me a lot. 

I am not friends with Rex anymore. She’s always been really aggressive and drama craving and I can’t take it. It’s impacting me negatively as well. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat happy with the screenshots she gave me. Told me a lot about these people I was still willing to talk to. 

Now? I won’t even waste their time.

After all of that. I made the post. The big announcement post. It was too much. I can’t escape the racism in my hometown or in the country in general, but I can leave and distance myself from the fandom. 

I was talking to someone today, and she, as a white woman, admitted that white people act so shitty when it’s implied that they’re racist. Which is so true. 

As I said, people make mistakes. No white person EVER is 0% racist or biased. I’m sorry but it’s not true unless you’re a baby or something. Same goes for other races, but mainly white people who have always had the upper hand, the privilege, the money, the chances, the power, all of that. 

Listen to me. 

When a person of color tells you that you are being microaggressive, biased, ignorant, or prejudice, or straight up RACIST, YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM. Why do you guys get so AGGRESSIVE AND MAD?? That is so fucking WEIRD. 

And yes. I’m talking to you Vulture. 

I really had no ill feelings towards you prior to your comments.

Or your posts. 

peep that clumsily used aave. never fucking talked like that to anyone but me. either way, you sound dumb.

Why?

Why so...mad?

You felt guilty? Why did you feel guilty? 

...I’m gonna let you answer that. 

Moving on. I know that not everything has to be about race. I hate making things about my race. I do, even when I should! But you can be racist unintentionally. Does that mean you’re racist? No! I have yet to receive a genuine apology from any of you, meanwhile, I’ve been over here grovelling and hoping that you like me again. God. Why is it so hard for you to apologize and move on??

No, in that same fucking server, someone sent a racist meme after joking about slavery all day:

And yes, the people in the chat at the time laughed at it... 

I told them that WASNT funny and they freaked out all ���WHY CANT I TALK TO PEOPLE IM SO FUCKING STUPID I SUCK” like oh...my god. You guys make it so awkward being black oh my GOD. I- like it makes me never want to say ANYTHING but I know I have to but god what the hell guys???

I wouldn’t really think that the members of the server chat were racially biased if they just accepted the fact that they were micro aggressive and didn’t flip out about it. Not really, at least. That reaction is so- well it’s sus as fuck. People who aren’t prejudiced will apologize, correct themselves and move on. Not dismiss me constantly and DEFINITELY not freak the fuck out. 

I also wouldn’t assume they were racially biased if this SAME EXACT SITUATION DIDNT HAPPEN TO ME BEFORE. 

Yep! On the Beatles Amino, I was called a bully and was reported by the LEADERS. Why? Because I told a curator she was inconsistent with her rules… that’s it. And that was back when I was sugary sweet all the time and was deemed to be a cinnamon roll. Nah. They knew I was black and I got told that people were scared of me and that I was bullying people. Yeah okay. Messaging ONE curator about her rules is the same thing as bullying people. Chile I can’t. And it only happens in the Beatles fandom. But no when someone calls John Lennon a racist it’s all “Zach! Zach! Tell them they’re wrong.” Ugh...

So that’s that on that. I have nothing else to say. Don’t message me about this post if you didn’t read all of this. I’m an idiot and I’m honestly still willing you hear you all out but don’t expect me to ever want to have anything to do with you. Out of the what- 50 people from that server, only two stood up for me? And two separate people APOLOGIZED TO ME. AND THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. That’s a shame. Thank you Johnny, Lenny, Laurie, and Remy. All of your names rhyme and you didn’t make me feel like I was CRAZY, unlike those I mentioned. There’s so much shit going on in the world rn, especially to do with racism. I know that you guys know. But some posts really....really tried me. oh well. I’m black. I like The Beatles. And I’m a victim of microaggressions, false accusations, gas lighting. I’m also out. bye.

black lives matter resources

[clydeloganisababe]

What I Wouldn’t Do (1/3)

Sometimes, you just need to write the incredibly niche, indulgent smut you wish to see in the world. So, in honor of Adam’s latest SNL appearance, please allow me to present a flower shop ABO au featuring the one, the only, the king, Robbie the Biscutie.

The whole thing is going to be 3 chapters, with the third chapter being a no holds barred smut-fest. Chapter 1 is the meet-cute, Chapter 2 is the date, Chapter 3 is the heat/rut.  Now on AO3.

I’d love to dedicate this fic to other writers whose work has sustained and nourished me over the years and to other Robbie enthusiasts, especially @theweddingofthefoxes. Let me know if you want to be removed or added to any updates! 

Author’s note: Robbie has a girlfriend at the start of this mess, but there’s no cheating.

And now, without further ado:

~~~~~

Many customers, regardless of their designations, liked the sweet smell of the shop. Actual product varied by day but there were almost always roses and lilies in stock, which incidentally were among the most fragrant flowers. When customers weren’t looking for floral arrangements they could also sample the various soaps, diffusers, oils, candles, and perfumes that littered the store front. The barrage of scents was almost overwhelming, but that was how you wanted it. You took great care to hide your own scent, but it was still difficult to hide the odor of an unmated omega without a little extra help. Working in a fragrant shop made it that much easier to blend in, and for that you were grateful. Decorum, and at times your safety, depended on it.

There was an enormous wedding this weekend so by Tuesday you were already in pre-production. You were in the middle of taping floral foam to a tray when you heard the tell tale tinkle of the door bell.

“Welcome! Come on in, I’ll be right with you!” you called, drying your hands on a nearby towel. You were almost to the front when it hit you: the unmistakable musk of alpha pheromones. You whipped around, trying to find the source.

Striding up to the counter was an absolute beast of a man. His navy suit draped attractively against his broad frame, but his languid strides revealed rippling muscles underneath the wool. The first button of his brightly patterned shirt was unbuttoned, revealing a flash of gold at his throat. His messy black waves were pulled back into a knot at the back of his head. You typically thought that man buns were silly, but this guy was pulling it off.

The rational part of your brain said that he looked like a bad New York stereotype. But the secret, primal part of you whispered he’s big and broad and smells like sandalwood and cinnamon, he’d give you healthy pups and a big fat knot.

How could you smell him this clearly? You were on very strong suppressants and shouldn’t be able to smell him, let alone separate the notes of his scent. Maybe he wasn’t on blockers? He looked like the type.

As you slipped behind the counter, his dark gaze finally found yours and a ripple of understanding passed between you both. There you are. Judging by the look on his face he could clearly smell you too.

“Hi, do you need some help today or are you just browsing?” It’s easy to slip into the friendly, customer service persona, even when you are beginning to tremble at his proximity.

“Yeah, I need something for my girl.” His voice is a deep, rough rumble. Fuck. Of course he has a girlfriend. You sniff delicately, trying to be subtle. He’s got a girl, but you can’t smell anything lingering on him. Beta.

You go over all the details as professionally as you can: he needs the bouquet tonight, she likes roses, money’s not a problem because my girl deserves the best. “I wanna pick it up at 5 o’clock sharp. I’m surprising her at dinner and I wanna to be on time.” He’s going on about his girlfriend, but his dark eyes linger over your form. He feels it too.

“Of course! I’ll have the bouquet ready for you right at 5.” It’s an innocuous statement, but his eyes darken at your quick obedience. He pays with a shiny black card.

“Thanks sweetheart, I’ll see you at 5.” He turns to leave and you can’t help but watch his thick thighs as he slips out the door, bell chiming in his wake. You want to be mad about the pet name, but you aren’t. You hope he’ll say it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5 pm rolls around and the hot alpha from before is punctual. His credit card had the name Robert on it, but you don’t think it suits him. Robert sounds much too formal. Does he go by Bob? Maybe Rob?

As promised, his rose bouquet is waiting for him on the counter, spilling out from a delicate crystal vase. You chose pink and white roses, but added some burgundy ranunculus and white anemones for texture, framing everything with eucalyptus, salal, and seeded eucalyptus. The effect is soft and romantic.

“I wanted you to see it before I wrapped it up for you,” you explain. He remains silent, inspecting the bouquet. “Do you like it?” You shift nervously. He’s taking a long time to answer.

“It’s perfect,” he finally announces. “Better than I imagined. She’s gonna love it.” She’s gonna love it. Right.

“Excellent! I’ll wrap that up for you.” You snap to work, trying not to waste anymore time.

“Did you make that?” he asks, leaning against the counter. You catch another whiff of his sweet, spicy scent and you stifle a whimper.

“I did!” you offer, topping off the plastic wrap with a cream ribbon. He whistles lowly. “Stunning work, sweetheart.” He takes the vase from you, his hands engulfing yours for the briefest moment. “I’ll have to remember this place for next time.” You practically gulp. “Please do! I’d be happy to make you something else.” He holds your gaze for just a moment too long, then turns and slinks out the door, off to a date with his girlfriend. Goddammit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life moves on and you try to forget about the hot alpha with the incredible scent, who pinned you with his gaze and complimented your work. Until the next week when the store bell tinkles and the warm telltale notes of sandalwood drift through the shop. Your gland itches and you snap to attention.

“Welcome back!” you call to him as he swaggers confidently up to the counter.

“You remember me?” he teases.

“I do. You’re very memorable,” you admit, blushing. He smirks, pleased with himself. Your gland prickles and you clench your fists, resisting the urge to scratch it in front of him. “So what can I get you this time?”

“I need something classy. Elegant.” He looks at you expectantly, like you know exactly what that means.

“Of course. What’s the occasion?” You hope your probing isn’t too obvious.

“I wanna surprise my girl. She’s been going through a rough time lately.” He briefly looks away and seems momentarily embarrassed. Trouble in paradise? You suddenly feel bad for flirting with him.

“Absolutely. Would she prefer pastels or jewel tones?”

“Whichever one, just make it real pretty.” Fair.

“You got it. What’s your budget?” You hate this question, but it’s necessary.

He smirks. “Money’s not an issue.”

“Alright. Do you want to pick up your arrangement or should I have it delivered?”

“I’ll come by around 5.”

“Perfect! I’ll see you then!” You flash him a winning customer service smile and he extends his hand. “I’m Robbie, by the way.”

Robbie. His hand is huge and warm. You give him your name and unable to resist, you overextend your hand, slipping a finger outside of his grip to brush the gland at his wrist. His scent spikes with arousal, flooding your nose with his intoxicating scent. He growls softly, sending a shiver through you. You know you’re playing with fire, but you can’t let go. Don’t leave me, alpha. He finally releases your hand and stalks out of the shop, leaving you an itchy, unsatisfied mess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You fall into a routine. Robbie comes in every Friday, orders an arrangement for his girlfriend, you both flirt, then he leaves. You look forward to it. You know it’s not going anywhere, that he’s just the hot alpha customer and you’re just the cute omega shop girl, but seeing him still makes your day.

In fact, he’s due any minute to pick up his arrangement. The bell tinkles and you immediately perk up. But the scent is off, it’s a little too woodsy. It’s another alpha.

“Welcome, how can I he-“

He cuts you off. “Hi, do you have any yellow roses?”

“I don’t believe so, but let me check.” You scan the back room and peer through the coolers. You’ve got a handful of spray roses, but you can tell that’s not really what he’s looking for.

“I’m so sorry, we only have small spray roses, were you interested in an-“

“Well, do you have anything yellow?” he huffs. His smell is bitter.

“I’m sorry, we really don’t.”

“You really don’t? What kind of florist doesn’t have yellow flowers?” You miss the tinkling of the shop bell, but it’s impossible to miss a sudden waft of sandalwood.

“I’d be happy to order some for you, I could get them by tom-“

“My anniversary is tonight! What good does that do me?” You fumble for an answer, but Robbie doesn’t.

“The fuck you say to her? Is that how you talk to a lady?” Robbie barks from across the shop. He barrels towards the front and the other alpha visibly shrinks before him, his damp scent souring with fear.

“This is so unprofessional,” the other alpha whines. Robbie starts to crowd him but he immediately backs away.

“Then find another florist before I throw you out myself,” Robbie growls. The other alpha shoots you one last glare, but slinks out of the shop with his tail between his legs.

Robbie finally turns to look at you and you exhale a shaky breath that you didn’t realize you where holding. “Robbie, you didn’t have to do that,” you insist weakly.

“Yes I did,” he comes behind the counter and wraps you in his arms. “I couldn’t let him talk to you like that,” You bury your face into his chest and he purrs, a deep rumble. A shudder ripples through you. “Thank you for saving me,” you murmur, running your hand along his spine. “Any time, doll,” he chuffs.

You linger against him, much longer than is appropriate, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You nuzzle into his chest, soothed by his purring. Robbie’s hands wander up your back and one settles between your shoulder blades, fingertips just shy of your mating gland. You tremble at its proximity. The other snakes its way along your ribcage, just shy of your breast.

The shop bell tinkles and you break away from him, the moment shattered. ‘I’ll be right back with your arrangement,” you murmur. You hand him the flowers and he fixes you with one last smoldering look.

“Have a nice dinner,” you offer weakly. It breaks the spell and he finally looks away. “Right,” he grumbles, taking the vase. He moves towards the door but he stops, looking back. “Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone,” he calls. You smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Robbie.” He gives you one last lingering smirk, but then he’s gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The week drags by slowly. Robbie hasn’t placed an order yet, which is odd, and you wonder if you’ll ever see him again. Maybe your obvious connection is too much, too inappropriate. He has a girlfriend and that should be the end of it, you begrudgingly remind yourself. But you’ve been itchy and antsy all week, and you’re worried that you’ve started something out of your control. Like your heat. You should have another month or so to go, but the close proximity of a compatible partner can still mess with even the best suppressants.

The shop phone rings and it’s a welcome distraction. “Hey, doll,” he rumbles through the receiver. Both relief and anticipation shudder through you.

“Hey, I was beginning to wonder if I would hear from you this week,” even you can hear the needy whine in your voice. “What can I get you this time?”

“Actually, I was hoping you could help me with that.” You can hear him shifting on the other end of the line. “I want you to make something that you would like. Can be anything you want, big or small, any budget, I just want you to make something that you would want.”

“Really? I’m surprised you are letting me decide, you always seem to know exactly what you want.” You can’t help but tease him. Designer’s choice was always a popular option, but it’s odd coming from someone as decisive as Robbie.

“Oh, I do babydoll, make no mistake about that,” he growls. “When do you get off work on Friday?” You gulp. “Usually around 6 unless there’s an event. Nothing this week though.”

“Good. I’ll pick it up at 6.”

“Sounds great, see you then, Robbie”

“Bye, babe.” You both linger on the line, but you finally disconnect the call. It’s not weird, Robbie just likes your designs, you reason. It’s expected that a floral designer should design an arrangement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unfortunately for Robbie, you have expensive taste. You lose yourself in the creation of the handtied that you are making, an asymmetrical bouquet spilling over with greens, black baccara roses, plush dahlias, ranunculus, anemones, queen anne’s lace, and thistle. It’s wild but soft, dark and deep. You throw in some carnations for a pop of color. You have no idea if Robbie’s girl will like this, carnations can be controversial, but you like it, and that is what Robbie had asked for. That thought makes you smile to yourself.

You are a little nervous to see Robbie when he rolls in at 6 pm on the dot. “I wanted you to see it before I wrapped it up,” you explain, handing him the bouquet. He’s silent, inspecting it on all sides. His thorough examination puts you on edge. “I can change it, if you want, that’s not a problem,” you can hear yourself blabbering, but you can’t stop yourself. “It’s unexpected,” he finally offers, looking over and pinning you with his dark stare. “But so were you. This is perfect.” He leans closer and you instinctively inch towards him.

“I got a confession. These ain’t for Sophie. We broke up a week ago,” he pauses, scanning your face for a reaction. “If you want ‘em, they’re yours. If you don’t want ‘em, then I’ll keep ‘em to remember you by. But I hope you want ‘em.” You are stunned into silence. No one has ever done something like this for you before. You gape up at him.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” the sour taste of nerves invades your senses and he begins to back away. “I can be pushy, I’m sorry if I-“

“Robbie,” you reach up and rub the glands on his neck and he moans openly. “Is that a yes, baby doll?” he rumbles. Taking the bouquet, you reach up on your tiptoes and gently press your lips to his.

“That is definitely a yes, Alpha.” He groans, scooping you up and burying his face in your neck. You shiver at the hot swipe of his tongue against your gland. You can feel the gentle rumble of a purr beginning in his chest and you clench around nothing.

“I’m taking you to dinner.” He presses his lips to your neck, eliciting a soft gasp from you. “And then after that, I’m taking you to bed.” He draws back, tilting your chin so you look into his eyes. “Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect.”

[kerfufflewatch]

Candy/ pastries or your pain is mine

everyone asked for candy/pastries, and I wrote way too much, and I’m pretending that’s because everyone asked for it and not because I have no self-control

[on AO3]

--

"Kinda surprised you like sweet stuff that much," McCree remarks. 

Hanzo only gives him the barest of glances before returning his attention to the doughnut box on the counter. McCree had found a proper doughnut shop while they were here in the States--one of those local places that was big enough to be noteworthy but small enough to still have product worth talking about--and brought back a solid half-dozen to the safehouse. It was, admittedly, entirely too much sugar even for two grown men, but it'd been a long and frankly boring mission and he thought they deserved something.

After a moment's deliberation, Hanzo liberates the box of its blueberry cake doughnut and sets it on a napkin that is already dusted with crumbs and flakes of glaze. "And why is that?" he asks as he sets to pouring a cup of coffee. 

"Dunno. You're so fit. Figured you were one of those guys who counted every calorie and eats their body weight in protein every day."

Hanzo snorts softly at that. "The fact that I put some thought into my meal composition, unlike some people, does not make me obsessed."

"Mmhm."

Hanzo shoots him a glare that is more amused than annoyed, then returns to his coffee. "You are not too far off, I suppose," he says, slowly pouring milk into his cup until it reaches the precise color he deems acceptable. "When I was younger, I did maintain a much stricter diet--it was considered childish to indulge in something with no health benefits. After, it simply became one of those things that I did not need and did not permit myself."

"And now?"

"Now I have learned that denying myself cake will not restore my honor." His coffee spoon clinks sharply against the countertop.

"Nah. Not unless it was a real good cake." Hanzo laughs a little and, as always, it makes McCree's heart flutter and his mouth incapable of shutting up just in case he can get Hanzo to do it again. "What's your favorite, then?"

Hanzo has to think on that for a moment. Then he answers, "Taiyaki, I think. Although to be fair, I think it is mostly whatever I am in the mood for."

McCree hides his smile in his coffee cup. He really is too far gone to be helped. "Fair enough."

"What about you?"

McCree shrugs. "Never had that much of a sweet tooth, to be honest. I mean, yeah, here and there," he adds, gesturing vaguely at the doughnut box, "but . . . I guess I'd never turn down a slice of apple pie, though."

The corner of Hanzo's mouth lifts in something that might be amusement, though McCree's not sure why. "Really."

"Used to drive my mamá mad. She must've disowned me six or seven times for it, back in the day. Why not her flan, or sopapillas, or something else she had a family recipe for." McCree chuckles at the old memory, his mother sighing and putting her flour-dusted hands on her hips as her son continued to betray their proud Mexican heritage. "But yeah. That's the favorite, I think."

Hanzo laughs softly. "A troublemaker at every turn."

"That's me." McCree brushes past Hanzo to pour himself another cup of coffee. Going by the files Winston sent this morning, it’s looking like it might be a half-pot kind of day. “Gotta say, though, damn hard to find any decent apple pie out where we’re stationed. They got stuff like it around, I guess, but none of it’s quite right. Think the last time I had any was . . .”

He trails off. He’d been about to say it was probably the better part of a year and a half, but come to think of it, it’s probably been about a year. It wasn’t much, but he remembers now: serving himself a cup of burnt diner coffee and a slice of pie from the display case, sitting in a cracked vinyl seat with the best view of the railroad over the gorge, getting one bite in before having to abandon it. He’d barely appreciated it at the time with his attention focused elsewhere, but the taste of tart apple and sweet cinnamon had lingered on his tongue through the hell that followed, mixed with gunpowder and dust.

“McCree?”

McCree blinks out of his reverie. His sugar spoon still hovers over his coffee, teetering and threatening to spill. He hastily dumps the sugar and gives it a stir. “Sorry. Got a little distracted there,” he says, putting on an easy smile. “Was a bit of a rough day last time, is all.”

Hanzo seems unconvinced, but he knows when to let things drop. It’s one of the many things McCree appreciates about him. 

They lapse into a companionable quiet. Hanzo breaks off a small piece of the doughnut and pops it into his mouth. He absentmindedly sucks a crumb off the pad of his thumb, and McCree forgets all about pointing out that he'd actually bought that particular doughnut for himself. 

—

They're both sent back to the States again within the month, but on separate, minor missions. Hanzo goes off with his brother and Angela. McCree tries not to think about how irritable that makes him. 

McCree's sent out on a solo mission for three weeks, investigating a business out in Canada Winston worries might have some Talon ties. It looks and acts like a standard accounting firm, and three weeks of running coffee and organizing files doesn’t give McCree any reason to believe otherwise. The tedium slowly grates on his nerves, and being treated like a witless errand boy does so more quickly, until he’s certain that he has none left carrying him through. 

The whole thing is made worse by having to maintain radio silence the entire three weeks. He wasn't necessarily the sort to enjoy long text conversations or phone calls, but he could always count on a wry response from Angela or Genji if he sent them updates or complaints, and Lena and Mei sometimes just liked to check in. He gets none of this, though, and it leaves him far too much time to think. 

And of course, because his heart's a goddamn fool, he finds himself missing Hanzo the most. 

For a while, as one does once a crush starts to become a little bit desperate, McCree entertains the notion of telling Hanzo in a variety of ways. With how long they've known each other, just asking for a date seems too distant. Grand gestures are something, but anything too grand would just leave Hanzo embarrassed and irritable regardless of how he felt in return. He doesn't know when Hanzo's birthday is and asking Genji would mean any surprise would be ruined. 

At some point, he remembers the conversation with Hanzo during their last mission, and he thinks for far too long about gifting Hanzo with some sort of sweet thing. Cakes and candies were romantic, weren't they? Except something generic would go over about as well as a snowball taking a lovely vacation in Hell, and Hanzo deserves better than some dime-a-dozen chocolates. 

He dithers and sighs and eventually forgets about the whole thing after a week or so, and the conversation shortly thereafter. The whole idea is a fool's errand, anyway--it all assumes that Hanzo would want him at all. 

Just before he can drive himself mad with hypotheticals,  he digs up a handwritten set of budgets in someone's locked office desk that, even coded and vague, implicate the business in some illicit dealings quite nicely. He activates the little automatic drone that helpfully scans and uploads all of the pages straight to  Athena and Winston, neatly replaces everything, and slips out of the city the moment he is given the all-clear. 

By the time he gets back to Gibraltar, the combination of a shitty mission and an equally shitty flight has him too exhausted and irritable. He checks in with Winston, drags himself through the shower, and flops onto his bed. He’s too antsy for sleep, but he can at least use a few minutes with his eyes closed before he has to dodge the rest of the team to find food. 

He only gets a couple of minutes before there is a knock on his door. He sighs up at the ceiling. “Just a sec.”

His irritation all but evaporates when he opens the door to find Hanzo on the other side. He has a paper bag in one arm, wafting the rich scent of food, and a bottle of whiskey in the other. 

"Well damn," McCree says. "Rollin' out a hero's welcome."

Hanzo rolls his eyes, even as he smiles. "Hello to you, as well. I thought you might like to celebrate your success, but if not . . ."

McCree snorts. "Success. Yeah. We'll call it that." 

His tone makes Hanzo's smile immediately drop in a way that makes McCree's stomach do the same.

"Was I mistaken?" Hanzo asks. "The mission brief suggested you were successful, but . . ."

McCree groans, rubbing his hands down his face. “No, you weren't. Sorry, Han," he says wearily. "Was just a long, frustrating sort of job. Bunch of annoying assholes, then me doing a whole lot of nothin’ to prove that they’re assholes. Got me in a bit of a mood, y’know?”

“Oh. I am sorry. Perhaps I should have considered--would you like me to go?”

His expression of mild concern might have fooled anyone else, but McCree knows better nowadays, and he sees the flash of disappointment as it crosses his face. "No, 'course not," he says. "Just warnin' you I might not be the best company."

Hanzo nods, but his brow is still pinched with uncertainty. McCree reaches to take the bag. "Got a couple glasses if you wanna pour us a drink," he says, nodding to the pair he keeps on his desk just for this purpose. 

"I--yes."

McCree pauses as he lifts the first box out of the bag. "Seriously, what's buggin' you?"

"It is nothing."

It's clearly not nothing, but no amount of prying will get Hanzo to talk if he doesn't want to. He unpacks both their meals, but pauses when he finds a third box at the bottom of the bag. This one is smaller and clearly from a different place entirely. 

He looks questioningly at Hanzo, but he is pointedly not watching McCree, pretending to need his entire focus to pour their drinks. McCree opens the box.

What he finds is an apple pie. A full one, untouched, with the slightly uneven look to the crust that comes from something handmade. He looks to Hanzo again, his mouth running dry. 

"Why . . . ?" he starts, and finds himself unable to finish the question.

Hanzo sits on the edge of the bed and shrugs one shoulder, now very interested in the contents of his glass. "We ended up getting dinner the last night of our mission," he says, too casually. "One of their specialties was apparently their pies, and I remembered what you had said before."

Forgetting dinner entirely, McCree grabs one of the forks from the bag and carves out a piece of the pie right from the center. Hanzo mutters "That is barbaric," but is ignored. 

It's good, definitely one of the better apple pies he's had--tart apples and sweet cinnamon, perfectly flaky crust that just about melts on the tongue. But it's the full realization of what Hanzo's done--not only remembering some inane conversation from weeks ago, but going out of his way to bring back a gift--that has him struggling to speak.

"Thank you, Hanzo" McCree says when he finally has his voice again. "This is real nice of you." Hanzo gives him a halfhearted smile. "Is this what's been eatin' at you this whole time?"

Hanzo purses his lips and runs his fingertip around the rim of his glass, which is now conspicuously empty. It is a long moment before he answers. "I had hoped to--to have a rather different conversation, but now I believe it might be better saved for another time, if you are not feeling well. It is no matter."

McCree's heart feels full to bursting. He sets aside the box and sits beside Hanzo on the bed. He knocks his hand lightly against Hanzo's and leaves it there, fingers resting in the valleys of Hanzo's knuckles. "Dunno," he says. "Seems like it might be somethin' worth talking about to me."

Realization dawns on Hanzo's face slowly. When he finally meets McCree's eye again, it's with a shy, sweet smile.

Much later, after confessions and dinner and a few self-conscious laughs are shared, McCree offers to split the rather large piece of pie with Hanzo. It's good, and he ends up eating most of it, but finds it tastes better off Hanzo's lips.

[tobrodachi]

Nice! My otome game scenario is writing itself up, as expected!

Synopsis: Saito Sakura, a woman working as an author for the famous VN company “N*tr*pl*s” is currently the main writer for an otome game scenario coming up. One night, during The Crunch, she collapses and wakes up in her game world! However, she wakes up as Adelina Fugo, the main villainess/pain-in-the-butt for the commoner protagonist Petra Saenz. Worse than that, since the storyboard was never completed, she’s only got a general idea of where the story’s headed in each of the four main routes, and they all lead up to exile or death of her character!

“Well, worse comes to worse, this all serves as inspiration for when I wake up!”

Tags: Female protagonist, dense protagonist, otome isekai, her hands are rated E for Everyone, we going ham with this bois.

Chapter 01/??:

The Crunch, or how I learned to stop worrying and love coffee.

My name is Saito Sakura, a 28 year old Visual Novel writer for N*tr*pl*s who’s currently struggling to make ends meet. Got myself a nice little apartment over at the Narita prefecture, got enough money for my daily expenses, and I love my job. But if my life is so rose-tinted, then why am I struggling?

Because, and let me be clear here, having all of those nice things means absolutely jackshit when you’re pulling a month-long work into a single week. Especially if it’s the third day of said week, with the blinds closed unless I want to invoke the Mother Of All Headaches, and haven’t slept for the past 72 hours and counting; all while subsisting on a diet based of vending machine potato chips, extra-salty tuna onigiri courtesy of my juniors, and an ungodly amount of that sweet, sweet nectar known to mankind as coffee.

Thank you, God of Coffee, for allowing us mere mortals to harvest your beans for our gain. For giving us the inspiration to think of new and innovative ways to prepare your juices, so that we can pair it up with other produce. Milk for the stomach, sugar for the heart, and cinnamon for the soul.

Mmmmm, spicy~! Just the way mama likes it.

“Excuse me, miss Saito.” a voice I couldn’t identify called out to me in the middle of my coffee break, accompanied by a hand clasping my shoulder at the same time.

Rude.

I blinked to get the fog out of my eyes, and fixed my stare at.... who was him again? All I can recall right now are names of characters and places that don’t exist (yet!), and this self-important NPC comes to talk to--

“Please, go back home and take a rest, we’ll cover for you.”

!!!!!!

I take back everything I said about you, my most favorite intern! May you be blessed by the God of Coffee for anything you may need, without suffering from stress-induced gastritis until you’re late in your 40′s~

“Thank you, but I still need to finish at least some sort of idea for the Childhood Friend route, and I’m still struggling to find ideas for that.” My mouth replied still in auto mode, while brain-me was still off in lala land----

Saito Sakura, you utter and absolute fool! How dare you let your heart dictate what your mouth says!? Apologize to me, dammit!

“As expected of our senior! Please, keep doing your best!” My most hated intern cheerfuly replied as he waved and went back to his work station.

Noooooooo~! Please come back and give me back my well-earned freedooooom~!

As I took another sip of coffee in disappointment, my mind went back to think about the southern regions of the Patagonia, while my fingers started moving on their own to an invsible script.

After what felt like hours, I look at the clock hands, and they’re still at 10. Is it morning? Night? I lost count of the pass of time after my 20th cup (and trust me, I kept count), with my own sleepiness never quite leaving the edges of my mind. And now, even the center.

Can’t.

Think.

The only thing keeping me awake is that burning sensation in at the lower part of my chest that seems to be coming from my stomach, and the sheer sensation of my heart wanting to grow legs and jump out of me. What’s worse is that the burning sensation isn’t even calming down, but rather going up; but I’ll take this over not finishing near the deadline.

My sight blurs once again, and I try to focus back to the screen.

The screen stays blurry.

It’s alright, I can still type, even if I can’t see the keystrokes, it’ll just be that intern’s job to figure out what I wanted to write~

Except, well, my hands stopped moving. Huh, fancy that. I can’t feel my hands anymore drumming their beat against the keyboard, so at least I’m assuming so.

I look back at the still blurry monitor, and I can see it’s coming closer to my face, aaaaaand it just went up and above my head, and ow, now besides having this really annoying burning feeling in my chest, I now also have a killer headache.

But on the flip side, now I’m also feeling really, really, warm and fluffy and wonderful.

Maybe I’ll stay like this for a few more minutes....

______________

“-o sorry, I didn’t mean to do that!” A mop of brown curled hair doing its best impression of a person apologizing actually said to me while bowing down.

Wait, that’s actually a human person. Nevermind, carry on.

I scoffed and resisted the urge to yawn. Who does this girl think she is? Queen Anne? Puh-lease! Not with those clothes!

“Excuses, as expected of someone who doesn’t even know their place.” I replied, while picking myself off the ground-?

Wait, what was I doing on the ground in the first place? I find it unlikely I was taking a nap, I was just finishing admiring the great mountainous view of this campus---

Wait, that’s not it, I was in my office and then everything became blurry before---

I looked back at the talking mop herself, and she seemed even more apologetic than before. It seems she said something else before, but I didn’t pay attention to it. I gazed at my -gloved?- hands -whenever did I put gloves on?- and saw the silk fabric sullied by the gravel from the road. Seriously, a lady shouldn’t pick up herself like this!

“So, who are you supposed to be?” My voice sounds different- I ask to little miss mop over there, what a sorry view. But at least that question made her look up into my eyes.

Good, she’s got at least a semblance of backbone.

“M-my name--” She stuttered, aaaaaand what little respect she earned went down the drain. Doesn’t she have any self-respect? “-is Petra, Petra Saenz. I’m so sorry about---”

“Keep your mouth shut, and zip up your apologies.” I said -isn’t it rude, though?- haughtily because, again, how dare this imitation for a human try to go through life without affirming her presence?

I heard giggles around me, and turned my head to find my followers -wow, even a girl posse, nice- trying to hold their laughter at the situation. A quick glare fixed it, and they stopped the noises, clearly afraid of what may come. Good, it wouldn’t do to have anything else.

Turning back to the mop, she seemed even more cowed than before, as if expecting divine retribution, which may as well be what’s happening here.

“You’re talking to-” Saito Sakura, Saito’s the family name “-Adelina Fugo. Tennis Ace, Treasurer of the Student Council, and New York’s future Best Selling Author!” Wait, where did that come from?

Oh, wait, those were my goals when I was a kid!

But while those girls were nodding and clapping at my declaration, the mop looked more lost than ever, and this time I couldn’t even fault her.

“Uhm.... what’s New York?”

I’m asking myself the same here.

The other girls stopped clapping and looked at me expectantly.

I -want to rub my eyes and drink some coffee- pick up a flower-patterned fan I had hanging on my hip, before hiding my mouth with it.

“OOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!” -damn, that felt good to do, even if it WAS hammy- I laugh before fanning myself.

“If you don’t know about it, then you’re not even fit to be in this school!” Can’t let them see me hesitate after such a blunder. My father won’t let me hear the end of it if he hears I backed down after such a ridiculous claim - wait, why would he have to hear it, I live alone - No, I don’t, I’m not even of age!

This is.....

so confusing......

A/N: Well, after reading one too many otome isekai web novels, I decided to try my hand at writing my own! If the synopsis catches your attention. I don’t know when I’ll update it, but I’m aiming for a once-a-month update schedule, both depending on response and my own workload.

This is still in its rough sketches, so the setting is bound to change eventually.

My first intention is to write a “transported to another world” where the protagonist lands herself in the middle of a visual novel she’s creating targeted towards women, where you can court any of 4 romantic interests, in this case boys. That, however, doesn’t mean that those won’t be her only options (if she ends up actually courting anyone).

Since I’m still worldbuilding, I wanted to get this introductory chapter out of the way before commiting to anything in the world.

I should definitely make a blog for this down the line

[sovonight]

i wanted to try compiling opinions on my gravity falls tea blends, if just for personal reference!

the blends i’ve made are dipper, mabel, stan, ford, the author, the mystery shack, and ford (alt). looking at it now i’m like, wow i made three separate ford blends isn’t that overkill, but y’know what it’s fine

people’s reviews:

there are customer reviews on the listings themselves, just click through to specific blends!

mabel, dipper, stan, ford, the author, the mystery shack, and ford (alt)

stan

ford (alt)

i might be missing some in posts/replies/tags on tumblr, but can’t find em rn

and here are my own reviews/opinions. i don’t do much with steeping times (3-7 minutes or whenever i finally remember i’ve been steeping tea) and sometimes i leave the tea leaves in the cup ‘till the end of time, so it’s whatever. i always add sugar though, and occasionally add milk if the tea’s strong enough for it

mabel

my original review post

my review on the listing says, “it reminds me so much of bubblegum that i almost want to rename it that [...] while i already tend to let loose leaf teas steep in the cup forever i'd actually go out of my way to recommend it for this one; it lets the fruit come through a little better. and ofc, bubblegum is nothing without sugar, so please add sugar.”

my impression since then: adding sugar is correct. also this blend originally had sprinkles, and while i still support that decision, i removed it because sprinkles leave a bit of oil (?) in the tea when they melt-- not the best look for a light tea like this

dipper

my tiny review answer

i remember this one being a nice light fruit tea, but i’m reordering it for an updated opinion! if you don’t like slightly-sour fruit teas, though, you won’t like this one. also, steep it forever, the flavor is pretty light otherwise, and personally both dipper and mabel’s blends taste better iced

update, turns out it’s even better with sugar and milk! i just never had milk on hand when i last tried it so i couldn’t confirm until now. with milk it turns into a nice, warm, vaguely fruity tea that i’m a big fan of

the mystery shack

my tiny review answer

i remember this one as a “whenever” tea that wasn’t too light or too heavy, but i’m reordering it for an updated opinion. no milk, just sugar

stan

my original review post (my impressions of dipper and ford there are obsolete, i redid those blends since that post)

my impression since then: he’s still perfect

make sure to add sugar. and optionally milk. and blow a kiss at that mug, why not

ford

i’m ordering it again to give an updated opinion! from what i remember, the lapsang souchong was a Little much for me, even after editing it down. which is like... very fitting. secretly i call this the portal ford blend, especially with an extra-smoky spoonful of tea leaves, but i cannot let myself get into eras.

i wonder what high school/college ford’s blend would be like though

ford (alt)

my review on the listing says, “Now this is the sweet Ford tea I've been looking for. I steeped it for 4-5 minutes, drank it hot with cream and sugar, then drank it iced with cream and sugar, and it's about as delicious as Ford looks.”

i’m gonna level with you, i just wanted to say the phrase “as delicious as ford looks”. like it’s true i like the tea but i also wanted specifically to say it

i drank it again today (with milk and sugar, of course) and yep, i still like it. i would’ve done the whole plain tea -> tea with sugar -> tea with sugar and milk progression taste-test, but i did that thing where i microwave a bit of milk in a mug, pour the tea leaves in, and fill the rest of the mug with hot water and let it all steep. so. pretty creamy though.

the author

my original review post (my impressions of dipper and ford there are obsolete, i redid those blends since that post) 

my impression since then: while i wasn’t impressed with it initially, the more i drank of it the more i came to like it?? almost similar to how i felt abt researcher ford himself

when i brewed this in college i liked to dump the loose leaves into a mug, pour in hot water, wait ~5 min, and add in sugar and milk. i’d drink some while waiting for the shuttle, then put the rest in the fridge (i know it was still hot when i put it in the fridge and that i’m Not supposed to do that, but my fridge was basically empty in college so it’s Fine) and dash out to go to class

i’d come back from class and bam, i’ve got iced tea that’s been steeping for 4-5 hours! the flavors really settle in with the milk, the tea leaves really settle in to the bottom... perfect. drink that chilled delight up in a sweltering hot room and stay awake for the next 12 hours because i put the most coffee-ish tea into the author blend that i could find

it’s pretty much a caffeine boost, making it more like a tea that ford would drink (if for whatever reason he ran out of coffee), and less a tea that represents him

i don’t consider it an everyday tea for me because it feels a tad more dry than other teas (i attribute that to the blood orange) and that’s why i always made sure to add milk, but, drinking tea often already tends to dry me out. how do regular tea-drinking people do it

and here’s my reasoning for the teas in case you’re like “i don’t get you sovo how could these possibly fit these characters”:

dipper

passionfruit: the boy’s dedicated to solvin’ those mysteries

sour apple: dipper is sometimes a sour apple and that’s Okay

lemon grass: i can’t really explain this one except that you know how there’s that like, lemony plant stalk you’d sometimes see kids chewing in elementary school, and it’s kind of a childhood thing for me?? also it goes with the other sour tastes in this blend

blueberry: it’s in his color palette

fruit tea aspect: to match with his twin!

mabel

watermelon cooler: watermelon’s just such a fresh, pink, summery fruit! also, that mabel sweater that one time

wild strawberry: the description on the site gave off a sugary sweet dessert vibe and those are Definitely mabel vibes

spearmint: i wanted something with a brightness and glow about it-- also once in taiwan i had tea with a minty cooling effect to it and i loved that, it was perfect for hot summer weather. i’ve been searching for it forever because i remember nothing about what it looked like, just the flavor

rose petals: summer romance aesthetic

strawberry pieces: i wanted more pink, more color, and i think that’s something mabel would appreciate. also i love eating those little re-hydrated fruit pieces in tea

fruit tea aspect: to match with her twin! 

stan

rooibos caramel: stan’s heart is like a block of caramel... kinda tough when you start out, but as it warms up it gets sticky sweet and tends to wanna stick to you. i heard from the reviews on the caramel teas that the rooibos version is slightly sweeter than the black tea version, and i wanted the sweetest caramel so i went with rooibos

mambo: i heard smoky, savory, succulent, and rich and slammed that “add to blend” button

lapsang souchong: oh “smoky aroma”? oh “sweet pine flavor”? oh “sometimes gets a bad rep for being brashly smoky”? come on into this blend please

ginger: it’s kinda sharp, a little dividing, and a little too much for some people

lapsang souchong & ginger: to match with his twin!

ford

assam melody: “deep, burgundy-red”? “solid, ‘friendly’”? come be a base in this blend please

pu erh hazelberry: i knew i wanted pu erh for the earthiness, i just wasn’t sure which; i went with this one because it’s the most appealing dessert-like one of the ones i looked at, and You Know ford’s got a sweet tooth

lapsang souchong: partly to match with stan on the whole smoky pine aspect, and partly because ford shaves with fire and in fact, regularly plays with fire

cocoa nibs: it kinda complements the hazelberry & he needs a touch more than stan

ginger: similar to my reason for stan’s

lapsang souchong & ginger: to match with his twin!

the author

assam melody: provides the same character base as ford’s blend

toasted mate: i hear this is the closest you can get to coffee-levels of caffeine in a tea, and i needed that bc this is researcher ford we’re talking about

blood orange: blood splatter in the journal, anyone? splish splash

cinnamon: a dash of cinnamon goes into the cure for zombies, and also into this tea

ford (alt)

earl grey bravo: it’s a black tea base so i don’t stray too far from the original blend, a dash of grey, and a classic that always gave me a “refined” kinda vibe. i never used to think much of earl grey and took some time to come around, which is in line w my experience w ford. the citrus is almost a tie to the author blend,, blood orange becoming just orange

rooibos caramel: i needed to feed my sweet tooth and i'm pretty sure ford would support this decision

gunpowder: because gunpowder, but also because it adds a hint of smokiness that provides a similar-but-different alternative to the previous lapsang souchong. toned down and a little mellowed out, if you will.

cocoa nibs: a tie to the original blend that now complements the caramel

ginger: the ginger-and-caramel is what he shares with stan now, and i love that

the mystery shack

green rooibos key west: just west of weird, amiright??? also it’s got a bunch of summer-y fruit flavors, and the shack probably gets the majority of its business in the summer

earl grey moonlight: i was thinking about stargazing on the roof of the mystery shack and the moon turning into bill's eye, and stan working on the portal in the cover of night

pu erh dante: oh “soft earthy flavor”? “woodsy tones”?? “clean, damp forest aroma, dried mushrooms, leather and earth”??? yes thank you

orange peels: one thing i super associate w the mystery shack is all that arrow-shaped signage and all those yellow-orange question marks. so... yellow-orange bits of orange peel, acting as pops of color to guide your money outta your wallet

[julia-highstorms]

Satisfied (Jax x Lily) - NSFW

Summary: This fanfic takes place in an AU during Chapters 10 - The Massacre and 11 - The Den, when Jax rescues Amy (MC) and Lily and takes them do the Shadow Den as his guests and he shows them how a good host he is. *wiggle eyebrows*

Author’s note: my submission for Choices Creates #65 - Non-canon couples by @clonedhayden! I loved how Lily fangirled so hard over Jax (me too, sis, me too!) and they shared so many things in common (starting by their love for trashy movies lol and especially after Lily chose to go with the Clanless in today's chapter and now I won't see my two favorite characters sigh), and I lived for that threesome scene, so… All characters belong to Pixelberry and some of the dialogues here are from the game. If you don’t want to see this kind of content in your dash, please, filter the tag “#Jax x Lily”. And no hate will be allowed towards my favorite bi mess nerdy best friend cinnamon roll girl!!!! And I'm laughing with this summary because it is so cheesy lol I can't even stand myself sometimes

Pairing: Jax x Lily

Rating: 18+/NSFW (I'm pretty sure it's almost impossible to write a vampire fanfic without smutt so…)

Word count: 4034

Tagging @clonedhayden @priyasayeed @itsalliepg @boneandfur @ladynonsense @walkerismychoice @darley1101 I'm sorry if you didn't want to be tagged on this!!

If someone had told Lily Spencer a week ago that she would have been almost killed by a vampire, then Turned into one by her best friend and roommate's boss, and then be in a (vampire) themed masquerade ball, she would have definitely laughed on their face and asked "dude, what are you smoking? Because I need some of it".

But that was exactly what happened. And now, she and Amy were just back to New York. One second they were dancing and having fun in that ridiculously fancy masquerade ball and the next… a bunch of vampire zombies came in attacking everyone. Adrian told them to flee and stay safe. Since their apartment wasn't safe - she almost died there a couple of nights before - and with both Adrian and Kamilah out - they stayed with the other Clan leaders having an emergency reunion after the attack -, Amy called this “Clanless rebel leader guy” she knew whose name sounded like as if he was a videogame character, Jax with a ‘x’.

“This is the ‘safehouse’?” - Lily asked as both girls followed Jax’s directions to a run-down warehouse in Hoboken. - “Cuz, uh, it feels like sketch city.”

“This is the address he gave me. If he doesn’t show up in five minutes, we’re going back to the—“

Suddenly a shadow appeared next to Lily and Amy, startling them both. Lily hid behind her friend by instinct.

“Amy.” - the dark haired man said with a low, husky voice. He wore a leather jacket that fitted perfectly into his body.

Damn, he was hot!

“Jax!” - her friend shouted in response, a hand on her chest.

Lily felt Jax’s eyes looking curiously at her ripped gown.

“You’ve got a Clan it seems. So what do you need me for?” - he calmly said as he waved his hand towards the Brand Adrian gave her.

“Uh… it’s kind of a long story…”

“I’m immortal. I’ve got time.” - Jax crossed his arms above his chest, his muscles visibly flexing under his jacket. Hmm.

“We were at the Awakening Ball…”

“Pffft. Elitist wankery.”

“Ha!” - Lily couldn’t contain herself.

“Really, Lily?” - Amy glared at her.

“Sorry. I mean, it was fun, but at the same time I agree. Is that wrong?”

“Please, go on.” - Jax said to her best friend, after nodding at Lily in agreement.

“Well, a bunch of Ferals got in and started attacking everyone. The Council members fought back and killed them, but now tensions are running high while they try to figure out who let them in…”

“And unrest in the Council means unrest for the Clanless.” - Jax scowled. - “Come with me.”

He led them down a side alley where the walls were covered in old posters and ads. He stopped in front of an ancient poster for a movie titled ‘Blood Sacrifice: Dracula’s Revenge’.

“Oh man, this movie’s so good. The part where Dracula rips that dude’s throat out and uses it as a straw…”

“That’s my favorite part too. Always nice to meet a vampire with taste.” - Jax grinned at her and Lily felt her cheeks flushing. He was insanely hot and liked cheesy-looking horror movies full of unnecessary violence and bloodshed like her! Maybe that night wouldn’t end so bad after all. He hooked his hand behind the poster and slid it aside, revealing a ladder descending into darkness. - “After you.”

They took the ladder down into an abandoned subway tunnel. Famous last words. Now they were going to be killed there. To where was this dude taking them again?

“This is it?” - it was eerie and dimly lit, and their words echoed off the walls when they talked.

“Um… how well do you know this guy again, Amy?” - Lily nervously whispered to her friend. Jax gave them both an appraising look before continuing down the tunnel wordlessly. She and Amy shared a look, before following.

“How long ago were you Turned, Lily?” - he asked as they walked further and further.

“Not that long. A couple of days.”

“You seem like you’re adjusting well.”

“I’ve had a lot of help and support.” - she smiled, remembering Adrian’s warm welcome to his Clan and Kamilah helping her adjust with her new super sensitive senses and strength. With her new life, basically.

“Must be nice.”

“She was lucky to get a special approval after her Turning, because Adrian saved her life after she was attacked and left for dead…”

“I’m so grateful to him.”

“Screw the Council.” - Jax scowled.

“What?” - why he was so suddenly mad?

“Why should it be up to six vampires of a secret council to decide which of us lives or dies? Shouldn’t we all have that right?”

“Well…” - Lily didn’t think much about what it meant being a Clan vampire. She was just so excited and overwhelmed by her new life that she never thought about the other side. About what that meant to those who were Clanless. She didn’t even know about them, to be honest. But when Jax said it… - “Actually… yeah. It’s a bunch of bull, isn’t it?” - he took a deep breath.

“I’m glad for you. None of us deserves to die. I just hope you see the injustice of it.” - he said, much calmer.

She did.

Amy and Jax got into a discussion about the Clans and the Clanless, his people… Lily felt her head spinning with all the new information.

“So wait, let me get this straight. You’re like the hot, badass leader of the rebel vampires? That’s an actual thing that you are?” - she asked him.

“Clearly, I need to update my business cards.”

“Amy, why didn’t you tell me you had such interesting friends?” - Lily asked her friend, her eyes longing on that man walking in front of her, looking at him under a new light. Oh, he was so her type.

“Wild times, Lil. In our old lives, I would have just introduced you over drinks, not wandering through some deserted, old…” - Amy stopped short as Jax led them around a corner…

...To a vast, abandoned, Art-Deco style train station that’d been turned into a vibrant underground village.

“This is the Shadow Den.” - he gestured around them with a proud grin on his face.

“This place just went from creepy to amazing in two seconds flat.” - Lily said with her jaw dropped open. - “It’s like a Mediterranean village constructed by Imperator Furiosa!” - the 1920s Deco mosaic ceilings arched over shops, food stands, and elaborately decorated private quarters constructed from found objects... - “But what… what is it?”

“It’s our home.”

“I thought you said that you have to move constantly? This looks pretty darn settled.”

Jax started explaining to them about how the Clanless worked. It was far from ideal and Amy said that Adrian would want to help them if he knew how things were, but Jax didn’t want to risk the Council learning about the Shadow Den and he wouldn’t bet his people’s lives on ‘some CEO’s compassion’.

“So… is it cool if we hang out here? Just until it’s safe for us to go back up.” - Lily thought it was better ask him, since he felt all this hatred towards the whole Clan and Council thing.

“Yes. You’re under my protection and welcome to stay here as my guests. Let me show you around…”

He strided deeper into the Shadow Den and she and Amy walked down the main thoroughfare behind him. The residents came running up to him, hugging and greeting him like as if he was some kind of a rockstar. As if he was their God.

“Wow, he’s like the Clanless Beyoncé…And also, like, alarmingly hot.” - Lily murmured with dreamy eyes. Oh boy, she was crushing so hard on him. Amy shushed her. - “What?” - realisation hit her hard. - “Oh my God, did you…?”

“No!” - and then Jax suddenly turned back to them, interrupting their conversation.

“Lily. Have you fed recently?”

“Yeah, but I could eat…”

“We have plenty of blood in our feeding lounge.”

Those were the magic words. Lily suddenly felt her throat dry. She was so thirsty. She was so lost in her mind thinking about the sweet taste of blood, that she didn’t catch up Amy's and Jax's entire chat, just that he could cook something for her best friend.

“You’re good with a sword and you cook?” - what the hell? Where this man had been in her entire life?

“It’s not often I get to cook for guests, but I dabble. I’d like to think I’m pretty good.” - he grinned confidently before turning back to Amy.

“Bad. Ass.” - Lily mouthed to Amy over his shoulder. Her friend rolled her eyes, but she had a smile on her lips. Yep, she was totally fangirling and crushing on that hot cook rebel leader vampire. They both were.

“Or if you prefer, you can find some things to eat in the central square.”

“I’d love to.” - Lily saw a coyly smile on Amy’s face that she knew  very well what it meant. Oh, her girl was getting laid. Hell yeah!

“Excellent! I hope my knife skills aren’t too rusty. That was a joke. I keep my knives sharpened and polished at all times.” - he said as if it wasn’t clear enough.

“I’m sure you do.” - Amy kept smiling at him.

“Lily, I’ll have someone show you to the feeding den.” - Jax said, gesturing to someone to approach them.

“Thanks! You two have fun.” - Lily winked at her best friend, who rolled her eyes again, before wrapping her in a hug.

“You’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. I’m getting the vibe these are my kind of people.”

And then, a vampire led her towards the center of the Den, into an elegantly canopied tent. But there was this ridiculously long line. The vampire told her to wait, although she didn’t want to. She was hungry to the point to starving, and that would be a problem. Kamilah told her about bloodlust and to be careful about it. She thought about asking as gently as possible to trade places with someone, but everyone glared uneasily and suspiciously at her. Lily didn’t blame them - she was an unknown vampire in their house - and didn’t have the guts to talk to anyone either, so she walked back to the central square.

Moments later, a dark haired figure in a leather jacket that she knew met up with her.

“Oh good, you’re here!” - she didn’t try to sound so excited to see Jax. He was alone. - “Where’s Amy?”

“Sleeping. It’s the dead of the night and she’s a human after all. Did you get to feed?”

“Not yet. I tried, but there was a long line, and I didn’t want to butt in… Plus, everyone was like glaring at me.”

“The residents here can be a bit hostile towards outsiders. I can go with you and make sure that they won’t attack you.”

“Oh, I don’t want to cause any problem—“

“It’s not problem at all. You’re hungry and deserves to feed too. And you’re a guest. Guests should always be a priority.” - and then he led her inside to the feeding lounge.

While Jax talked to someone, Lily took a good look around. The place was a room full of humans sitting quietly on couches and floor pillows, allowing themselves to be fed upon vampires. Her eyes instantly light up at all those exposed necks, at all that dripping blood. She licked her lips hungrily, feeling her tongue slightly touching her now extended fangs.

“Done. They’ll find you a donor soon. We just need to wait for a couple of minutes.” - Jax said, bringing her back to her senses.

“Thanks, I mean it. I can’t thank you enough for doing this for me and for Amy.”

“Please. As I told you before, you are my guests and I’ll personally make sure that you find your staying here as pleasurable as possible.”

Hmm, 'pleasurable'. She knew damn well how he could please her...

“...I imagined the feeding lounge so different from this.” - she shook her head, dismissing those thoughts. That was not the time to be all horny too, she already was feeling hungry! - “I imagined it more like a dungeon where you kept people in cages or whatever.” - Jax laughed beside her.

“You watch too many movies.”

“I guess it is because of the videogames, actually.”

“Oh, I liked playing videogames too. I had a Nintendo Color TV-Game myself.” - her jaw dropped.

“Shut up! It was released in Japan only!” - he grinned at her.

“Another perk of being Japanese, I guess. Part of my family still lives there.”

“This is so cool!” - but before she could ask him which were his favorite animes and mangas, someone approached them saying that they found her a volunteer.

Jax guided her towards a couch, his large and rough hand on the small of her back.

“Uh, hey.” - Lily awkwardly waved to the young woman in front of her.

“Hello.” - she simply said, looking used to it. In fact, she was scrolling through her phone.

Her neck was totally exposed to Lily, but she couldn’t move a single muscle.

“Is there a problem?” - Jax asked beside her.

“Uh… actually, this is the first time that I feed on someone with so many people around… In Kamilah’s place the volunteers were each in one room… you know?”

“This is no problem. We have individual rooms for the shyer ones.” - he grinned at her, teasingly. - “I just never thought that you were one of them.”

“Shut up.” - she rolled her eyes, her cheeks flushing. - “Can we go there?”

“Of course. If it’s no problem for you too.” - he asked the girl in front of them, who simply shrugged and followed them towards an adjoining tent.

The rooms were separated by curtains, but Lily noticed that they probably were the only ones there, since the rest was in the main lounge.

The donor plopped down onto the couch comfortably. Lily sat by her side, her finger tracing her jugular.

“Do you know how to do this?” - Jax asked, watching her tensely. He decided to stay close, ready to stop her if necessary. He knew that recently Turned vampires didn’t know when to stop.

“I guess so…” - Lily murmured, her eyes already shining red and her fangs extended.

“Just go slow, Lily.” - he said, standing behind her.

And then, with a swift move, she sank her fangs into the girl’s neck, who gasped in shock, before moaning with delight.

Her blood was so sweet and delicious. Lily groaned against the woman’s neck, her eyes closed, taking in the sensation of the blood running down her throat. She held the donor closer, tightening the grip on her waist, and the girl moaned again, waves of pleasure hitting them both. It was so intoxicating, so delirious. She felt a shiver running throughout the girl's body as her own body started feeling hotter and hotter.

“...Okay, that is enough.” - she felt Jax’s hand on her shoulder. Lily didn’t want to let her go, it felt so damn good… - “Lily.” - she heard his firm voice again.

Reluctantly, she pulled away from the girl and sealed the punctures in her neck. Lily’s tongue ran over her lips, caressing her own fangs, trying to taste any last drop of blood.

“Wow, that was… that was something else.” - Lily grinned at the girl.

"Yeah… It was." - the volunteer had this look of total bliss on her face.

“Thanks for your donor.” - Jax told the stranger as a vampire came into the tent and walked the still looking blissed girl out of there, leaving Lily and Jax alone.

“Damn, that was so good!” - Lily squealed, slumping back down, her hands running over her thighs. She looked up to Jax, still standing up beside the couch. - “Thanks, Ja—“ - her voice died when her eyes locked with his, that were shining bright red.

Lily felt goosebumps all over her body by the way he hungrily glared to her. She could feel the electrified air between them.

“I’m impressed. You’re very good at feeding on people.” - he said, his voice low and husky. She giggled, but he kept saying: - “...I won’t say ‘no’ if you want to do it.”

Her heart leapt inside her chest, and her eyes faded to red again, her fangs back, arousal running throughout her body.

“Is Amy going to be okay with this?” - she asked as Jax sat beside her.

“Why shouldn’t she? I care about her, but it’s not like we’re exclusive or something. This is just the second time we met each other.”

“Yeah, but you already fucked.” - Jax chuckled.

“The flesh is weak, the tensions are high and we should relax, don’t you think? Plus, she never mentioned it, but I know she has feelings towards Adrian Raines. The way she talks about him is much more than just a ‘professional admiration’.” - it was Lily’s turn to laugh. Jax was right, Amy was so into her boss.

She couldn’t blame her best friend, thought. Adrian was a super kind and nice dude and he was her Maker, so she would always have a special connection with him, but… Lily never had the hots for the crazy rich CEOs… and she was as horny as scared of Kamilah. That woman was something out of this world and so out of her league.

But Jax… Jax was totally her type. She would never be able to deny him.

Without saying anything else, Jax leaned in and kissed her lips. Lily felt his fangs brushing on her mouth as they kissed each other urgently and passionately, none of them thinking anymore, just being led by their own lust.

She slid his jacket off his shoulders and Jax tugged of his shirt too. Her hands immediately started caressing his strong chest and powerful arms. With her ultra sensitive senses, she could feel every scar on his smooth skin, his smell enveloping her, his heart beating fast and heavy on his chest.

“Wow, you’re just… wow.” - Jax chuckled with her remark.

“You’re too. But I guess I feel a little undressed now.” - he pointed to the fancy gown she still was wearing.

“Oh, I might need some help getting off of it… will you help me?”

“It’d be my pleasure.” - Jax grinned, his fangs exposed. Lily turned her back to him.

He slowly undid the fastenings of her dress, his hands caressing the soft skin of her back and his fangs gently scraping her neck, clearly teasing her.

God, she wanted him so bad. She was so hungry for him.

As soon as Lily was free from her dress, she impatiently discarded the rest of her clothes, under Jax’s gaze.

“Now, you’re overdressed.” - she said, before leaning in and meeting his lips in a lustful kiss. He kissed her back with the same intensity while he tugged off his pants and boxer briefs in one swift move.

She suddenly shoved him and Jax chuckled softly when he felt his back hitting the couch beneath him. Lily climbed on top of him, her hands clinging onto his broad shoulders, her tongue trancing from his collarbone to his jugular.

“I want you. Now.” - she purred, practically ordering him.

She saw the glance of Jax’s smile before he slid inside her. Lily groaned with the sensation of him filling her, her nails digging into the flesh of his chest.

“So good…” - he murmured, his rough hands around her waist, holding her tight as he thrusted in her. Lily moaned as she rode him.

The sensation of him all around her was so overwhelming. She wanted more. So much more.

She sank her fangs into his neck, sucking his blood. He gasped under her, but melt into it, the sharp pain quickly turning into something much more pleasurable. Lily moaned again. Somehow, it felt even better than that girl’s blood. It felt as dense as a full bodied red wine. So, so good.

“I’m not food, Lily.” - Jax said, although he didn’t sound angry at her.

“Oh shut up. I know you’re enjoying it as much as I am.” - she whispered when she finally pulled out of his neck, licking the blood dripping from her lips.

He grinned at her and pulled her face against his, his fangs deliciously biting her lower lip and he tasted his own blood. She moaned when his hips started pushing assertively forward at her, faster and deeper, bringing her close to the edge. Lily moaned louder and louder until those hallucinating waves of pleasure hit both of them as they came almost at the same time.

Lily laid on top of him, both of them panting, their skins hot and sweaty against each other. She could feel his heart pounding under her fingers, her head resting on his shoulders. His neck was already completely healed.

“Wow.” - she murmured and he chuckled underneath her.

“I’m pretty sure everyone heard your moans from the feeding lounge. And they know that it wasn’t just because of the feeding.” - he said, twirling her purple hair around his fingers.

“Let them hear. This was just…”

“‘Wow’?” - Jax finished her phrase, chuckling again. She felt his other hand running up and down her back.

“This too. But mostly, hot and incredible. Like you.”

“You flatter me.” - he pulled her chin towards his and kissed her tenderly, but passionately. - “But as I said, the satisfaction of my guests is my priority.” - he smirked at her, and Lily giggled.

“You’re a very damn good host, Jax.” - they stayed like that in each other’s arms for a few more minutes, until he finally sighed.

“As much as I wished I could stay here the whole day, I need to take care of some things and do my errands.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t want to take more of your time, hot-badass-rebel-leader.” - she said as they sat on the couch. He grinned at her before starting dressing himself up. She did as well.

“Ugh, is there any place where I can find new clothes? Corsets are awesome, but also, I like breathing.” - she asked as he helped her with the fastenings of her gown.

“Oh, I know the right place.” - he found a pen and draw a map on the palm of her hand. It tickled. - “Look for ‘Elena’. You should take Amy there too.”

“Alright, thanks!”

“I wish I could go with you.” - his dark eyes searched hers. - “Please, be careful. If my people find out that you’re a Clan vampire…” - she nodded at him, brushing her thumb on his worried face.

“I will. Thank you for your help, Jax. And for everything. And for this warm welcome.” - she mischievously smiled at him.

He grinned back at her and they walked out of the tent. Lily felt the vampires and humans eyes all over them as they walked back to the central square of the Shadow Den. Oh, they had definitely heard them.

And she didn’t give a fuck.

Jax gave her the directions to his private quarters and winked at her before going to do whatever he needed to do. As she walked there, she looked around the Den, the vampires laughing and talking to each other and the kids were playing. She got this feeling of a real community, where everyone got each other’s backs, where everyone was as important as the other. They were her kind of people and although she’s been there less than a day, she felt like the Clanless was where she belonged.

But she would think more about it later.

Lily found a peacefully asleep and naked Amy on Jax’s mattress.

“Amy, wake up!” - she plopped down next to her, startling her best friend.

“Lily!” - Amy squealed wide awake as Lily tossed her clothes at her.

“Let’s get us free from these clothes! I’m starting to feel my lungs aching inside this corset!” - her friend rolled her eyes.

“You’re so dramatic, Lil.” - Amy started to dress herself. - “Did you get to feed?”

“Oh yeah, I’m satisfied. There was this long line, but Jax helped me as a guest.”

“Jax is a great host, isn’t he?” - Amy said, with a dreamy smile on her face.

“Oh, the best.” - Lily agreed, grinning mischievously.

[kuriquinn]

Prompt/Request - Gal Friday [Pt 2]

Anonymous said:

Your stories are frigging awesome. I fell in love with Gal Friday and it’s the best boss and Asst fic I have ever read in any fandom. You made Sakura so Bamf without Mary sue tendencies. I am desperately hoping for a small sneak peek into Sakura and Sauce's interactions at the office from Sauce's Point of view. It can just be a one-shot as I know you are very busy. Take your time and keep up the awesomeness Kuri.

AN: Well, I was eventually going to continue this one but I figured, why not, let’s treat it like a prompt/request :P Also, I’m posting early because I might not have time tomorrow and I don’t like to use the queue option because for some reason it mucks with my formatting...

Once again I shamelessly stole from Suits, but I just love the idea of Sakura Haruno being as chill and confident as Donna Paulsen. Inner Sakura is totally reigning in this fic…

Sasuke arrives work the next morning with a throbbing headache and a larger than usual disdain for the world.

He hates mornings on principle, but powers through them because he has to. Today he’s regretting that second tumbler of whiskey – alcohol tolerance is one of the few areas that he doesn’t shine – and wishing he could have just stayed in bed.

The surreal meeting with someone named Haruno feels like no more than a dream, and he thinks it’s entirely conceivable that he hallucinated her –

Except when he exits the elevator and heads into his office, there is a perplexingly familiar pink haired person standing by his desk.

What the…?

He strides forward, trying to disguise his confusion with a scowl.

“What are you doing here?” he demands, his head pulsing painfully with every word. He hopes to convey several other questions with that one demand -  how did you get in the building without identification, who let you up, why wasn’t I informed?

“I have my ways,” she informs him, sounding maddeningly cheerful and enigmatic as she hands him a cup of coffee. “Here – black, no sugar and a dash of cinnamon and chili power.”

He blinks, so caught off balance by the segue that he automatically reaches for the cup.

“How do you know that’s how I take my coffee,” he asks, eyes flicking disdainfully down to the cup, all the while blaming sleep-deprivation and the hangover for his uncharacteristic malleability this morning.

“The same way I know you’ve decided to hire me.”

He narrows his eyes. “You know I’m going to hire you because I haven’t called security yet.”

“Oh, I knew you were hiring me the second you let me help sneak you out of that soiree early,” she retorts easily as he shifts in surprise – he doesn’t remember that – and continues smugly, “I did tell you I know people better than they know themselves.”

Sasuke considers her again for a further minute, and then relaxes. He’s not sure if it’s in resignation or acceptance. At least she’s dressed appropriately for work today, pink hair aside. And she brought him caffeine, which is a start.

“Fine,” he says, reaching for his chair. “When Hokumono gets in tell her –”

“Already done.”

He raises an eyebrow, only slightly taken aback. “You didn’t kill her, did you?”

“While that’s not outside of my power, no, I had Nanmono-san reassign her,” she informs him unconcernedly. As if there’s nothing outstanding about some strange woman walking into a major business and ordering a man three times her size to reallocate another employee.

“Where?”

“Shikamaru Nara.”

Sasuke’s mouth twitches, because he knows how much that will piss off the other man – and have the added bonus of ensuring he can’t nod off watching clouds. Hokumono Tayuya swears like a Yankī at the most random moments, and he’s pretty sure she would rather head a biker gang than be working as a corporate assistant. He vaguely recalls hearing that a powerful relation or something got her the job – which she kept due to the general uselessness of the former CEO and Sasuke’s own distaste for filling out paperwork.

It’s a change he welcomes, although he doesn’t tell this to the unbelievably cheerful woman before him. Instead he deflects, inquiring, “Other than firing my assistant, do you actually know how to complete administrative work?”

“Really, Sasuke-kun, you’re still doubting my abilities?” she teases, reaching for a tablet beside her. It’s this more than anything that stops him from reacting with knee-jerk annoyance at the casual form of address.

“Where did you get that?” he demands, staring at the company issue digital tablet that her fingers dance across.

“I know someone in IT,” she answers, and then passes him the device. He stares uncomprehendingly down at the screen and sees that – somehow – she’s managed to space out his double- and triple-booked meetings and appointments throughout the week according to maximum efficiency. The most important individuals are always scheduled in the morning, just as he likes it, and she has even accounted for his kendo schedule and a weekly luncheon at his favorite restaurant.

She looks as if she’s expecting him to compliment her or acknowledge his amazement at her skills, but he was raised in a family that didn’t waste praise on qualities a person knew were exceptional. She’ll learn that quickly if she expects to stay here.

“Hatake will never be on time for these, no matter how adequate you are at scheduling things,” he points out, gesturing to his Tuesday and Thursday appointments with his head of advertising.

“We’ll see about that,” she says, grinning wolfishly like she has taken that as a personal challenge. Sasuke thinks he doesn’t envy Kakashi having to face that particular resolve.

“Hm,” he says, because he has nothing to say to that.

“On that note, I have paperwork to file, and you have phone calls to return,” she goes on, passing him a notepad with neat writing on it.

“You answered my phone,” he deadpans.

“Well, Hokumono wasn’t going to, she was busy swearing a blue streak all the way down to the fourth floor. Also, your mother called – ”

“… you spoke to my mother?”

“ – She wanted to know if you were coming to your nephew’s birthday.”

Sasuke’s eye twitches. “What did you tell her?”

“That the Taka merger is today and you can’t miss it, but because you know the importance of family you’ll squeeze in a half hour on your way there,” she answers without missing a beat, “which will give you enough time to make a quick round of greetings and drop off a gift.”

“I don’t have –”

“Yes, you do, you’re giving him a giant Lego set, which is fun enough for a boy Haochizuki’s age and is educational – it helps with motor skills, fosters lateral thinking and creativity.”

“Did you memorize the brochure?” he grumbles, trying get over the constant sense of being thrown off balance.

“No, I played with a lot of Lego as a kid.”

“Of course you did,” he mutters.”

“Anyhow, given the short time frame you have, you won’t be able to stay very long – and if you greet the following guests that I’ve noted at the bottom of the page there –”

“Hold on, you know who’s attending?”

“Of course, once I called your sister-in-law to make sure the gift was age appropriate –”

“How the hell did you get Izumi’s phone number?” he demands, all ability to pretend aloofness disappearing.

She smirks at him. “Ways. I have them. Now stop interrupting, you have a tight schedule this morning and don’t have time to be basking in my awesomeness.”

Sasuke’s mouth snaps shut with an audible click.

“As I was saying, if you greet all those people I listed, you can make some valuable network connections, and also limit the amount of time you actually speak to your brother to about a minute and a half. Forty-five seconds if you stop in to compliment Inuzuka-san about his dog. It’s up to you which one you’d rather stomach.”

“Do you ever breathe?” he asks dimly.

“Only when I have to,” she chirps. “I told you – I’m not like any other assistant you could have. I’m Haruno Sakura. And I’m really looking forward to working with you.”

Again, he doesn’t know what to say to that.

It bothers him that somehow this…this person manages to put him off balance to easily, to the point he actually has to interpret what she’s saying to him because it makes no sense. He wonders if this is what it’s like for Naruto when Sasuke talks to him.

So, instead of commenting, he instead says, “Whatever,” and sits down.

“I’m taking my conference calls now – don’t let anyone disturb me.”

“You got it, boss!”

She strides confidently from the room.

“And for the record, I don’t take cinnamon in my coffee,” he calls after her.

“You will when you try that,” she replies without even turning her head.

Sasuke scowls at her retreating back through the glass windows of his office and sits back in his chair, somehow already exhausted.

How can anyone be so…exuberant this early in the morning?

Considering the merits of just firing her and finding a quiet, boring secretary – someone like Hyūga Hiashi’s daughter – Sasuke takes a resentful sip of his coffee.

And then startles at the sharp kick that shoots through him as he swallows.

Because it actually tastes good. Spicy, not sweet, and it feels like someone has hooked up an IV of caffeine directly to his veins.

“I told you so,” he hears Sakura singsong and when he glances up, she is grinning at him from her place at the desk outside his office.

Sasuke scowls at her and pointedly shoves the coffee cup away, reaching for his phone to dial his first appointment of the day.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

つづく

So, as I said, I’ll continue this one whenever the mood strikes me. It might not update as much as other stuff, but hey, when I’m inspired, you’ll get a chapter.

Reviews and concrit are appreciated!

クリ

Next Chapter

[squeaken1]

Gristle is such a sweet cinnamon roll, and definitely has a good heart. And given his situation and life, I think he turned out at an ok king. I can’t imagine it was easy ruling over the Bergens at such a young age. (I think I remember reading somewhere that his dad was exiled when Gristle Jr was young, but I can’t remember if it was apart of a fic, a theory, or something cannon. For this sake, I’ll go with cannon, because my brain has accepted it as fact). And I mean, didn’t Gristle day in TTBGO that Bergens will riot easily if they are upset? I can’t imagine it’d be easy for the poor fella. But being a young king would make him a bit spoiled, since he doesn’t know better. I’m actually gonna be exploring a little bit of Gristle’s past in one of my fics that I’m writing (if I get out of this rut I found after inspiring myself to continue it). I have the whole fic plotted out on my phone, and I really wanna get to the bits where Gristle comes in and I can explore a few things with him.

Remember this picture I did? (Hey, I don’t blame anyone if they haven’t. I don’t post a lot). This is apart of that same fic.

It’s barely started, and Gristle is only just being brought up where I last left off. So, I can’t promise I’ll update fast, but I’m really trying to defeat this writers block. Cuz I really wanna write this fic, even if no one else reads it. I want Branch and Gristle to bond because of both of their pasts which I will explore!

Sorry if I made this seem about me. I really don’t want it to come off that way. I just got excited I’m not the only one that thinks about these things about Gristle. I don’t draw him a lot, but I love him. I also just need someone to talk to right now about this, I guess. So enjoy my little rant. Or don’t. I’m sorry.

Okay, King Gristle may be the rightful heir to the Bergen throne, but does he really deserve to be?

Sure, it’s his right, but look at how delicate he is! He’s only in his twenties, and he can’t even wear clothes that fit! He’s only a little fuzz bear.

Can we discuss the possible theories and canons of Gristle’s life up until the interactions with the Trolls? I’m interested to see what everyone thinks.

[trashtfcanons]

Hello! I noticed that despite just starting your blog has kicked off to a good start! I was wondering, do you have any tips? I'm thinking of starting my own blog but I'm not quite sure how to go about it. I mean I know the process of setting up a blog, but then getting followers and whatnot? I'm just curious.

 Hola! I’m going to be honest, I’m really not sure how I got here, really just blown away with the positive feedback and attention I’ve been getting (thank you!) Really that’s thanks to all you guys, an interested audience is always a surefire way to motivate you to write more, and the more you write I find the more audience you gain. I started this blog super randomly after I joined a discord with sfw-imagines (won’t tag em cuz that’d be annoying I’m sure lol but go check them out!) and expressed that I was thinking about starting a blog just like theirs, and they were all “DO THE THING BOI”…. so I kinda did? The first day I didn’t recieve any asks (naturally as I didn’t have any followers yet). So I reached out to another headcanons blog: letsdiscussrobots (again won’t tag ‘em outta decency but if you haven’t already 10/10 check their blog it’s amazing) asking for tips and they, clearly a cinnamon roll, promo’d me! I was suddenly getting asks and you know the rest ;) 

But here are a couple more tips, tricks and lessons/mistakes I learned in the couple days I’ve spent running this headcanons blog:

This is mostly just personal stuff, I am NO EXPERT ohboi but here goes nothing:

1. Reach out to other similar blogs for promos and advice - this isn’t a competition, and the Transformers fandom, being the positive A++ community that it is, will always cherish new contributors, no matter the medium! Many (including me! hello friend) will be more than happy to help you out.

2. It’s okay to be intense with your rules - I write headcanons on this blog and take on your prompts, but I recognize that at the end of the day, I’m also doing this for myself too. If you’re not comfortable with writing something or writing someone EVEN if there’s really nothing wrong with writing, you have the right to say no or just move on from it. If you have no idea as to what you’re okay with and what you can’t bring yourself to write about, leave the rules general as I did, and then once the asks roll in you can start editing it based on what you see!

3. Take your time - You have no deadlines! Remember this especially. I’ve gotten some messages asking about previous asks that weren’t answered yet, it’ always either because I wasn’t feeling it OR because I’m still trying to work ‘em out to make them acceptable to me. I like to go in with my headcanons, and very rarely are they off the cuff, so I’ll take the time and research and improvise when I need to; which, while I wan’t to get your asks answered as fast as possible, takes priority.

4. Be on top of your inbox and opening/closing requests - This was my mistake, I’m pretty swamped with asks right now, and while I want to have an endless list of asks to pick and choose from, I have quite a few to get through now. So my advice is open for very short periods of time and close often, that will allow you the chance to open more often and the questions to vary more if that makes sense.

5. It’s okay to take some days off - I’ve been having a pretty rough time between being sick and getting my school work done and updating here beyond reblogging and short commentary, so I’ve been taking time off for the past few days. And while I feel terrible about not answering anything lately, I acknowledge that I do it so I can be on top of my game and not just trying to get things done for the sake of them being done. We’re all human, and breaks are needed, otherwise we become the tired amalgamation of mess and sadness and tͭͫ̚h̗͂̂ě̪͍̲̙̿̔̋̊ d͔͔͍͒ͅa͍̫̥͊̆̀͌ͨ̓̚ṟ̻̼̩̭̬̊ͦͬkͤë̠̳̘̙͎̜̙́ͤ̏̒s͓͈ͪͭ̈́ͧͪ͑̽t̹̞̥̝̲̥ͬ͋ͤ̋̚ v̯͔̥͍̉̏̑͡o͍͐̈́ͪ̾̅ͨ̚iͣ̒͡d̠̝̯̬͉͓̑̿͆̎ͫ͋ͮ͝ that is your friendly neighbourhood trash (oVo)/)  

3 words: treat. yo. self.

6. Do your research and use it shamelessly - Find out the small things about a character and add your own depth to it! Or even use the small things to your advantage when writing about them for a different purpose; I like to add references to other continuities or hidden bits of lore in my headcanons, not to mention pop culture references tidbits as often as possible! (You think Swerve’s reference to Juliette Binoche when talking about sweets and Smokescreen wanting to be a red mustang and then telling Arcee about it were mistakes son?) tl;dr I find that characters really resonate with people when you play up the little things: the ticks and subtle touches found in actual canon can very well become your best friend. 

6. Be cheesy. Have fun. Do you boo - This is your time to experiment, and take it from me, you may feel sometimes that your writing is embarassing or not good because it’s sappy or weird or too kinky or ooc, none of this is true. This fandom was made for aimless fan interpretation, ***nothing*** is impossible, because the official works themselves don’t let ANYTHING be impossible for them either. Megatron became a pacifist and an Autobot, Optimus became a dude who travelled to galactic bars just so he could prove how much he no longer gives a flying fadoodle about ‘the cause’ then came back and took a giant dump on Starscreams dreams… because he could. Ergo: Do the thing and be proud of it, no matter how out of wack, because no matter what people will always want to listen to anything that has to do with something they keep close to their hearts. 

AND REMEMBER KIDS: CRAZY IS THE NORM So let Tailgate say fuck and Rodimus have a daddy kink, because at the end of the day James Roberts might just actually indulge you.

[whole30problems]

Reintroduction Update 4: Grains

Yep, still doing this! This morning I weighed myself again because I was pretty sure I’ve been gaining all the weight back. (If you’ll recall, I started out at 138 lbs and at last weigh-in was 127 which is CRAZY.)

Um, it said 116. I told Erik and he said sometimes the scale we have is unreliable. I tried again and it still said 116. Erik said that there’s no way I could lose 20% of my body weight unless I had a daily 1500 calorie deficit, which is impossible because I never exercise. So either the scale’s broken, his math is wrong, or I’m actually already dead. Who can say.

Anyway, I ate some grains today!

I made this crazy thing for breakfast this morning:

It’s kinda hard to see, but it’s a quinoa breakfast skillet - lots of veggies mixed with quinoa and topped with an egg and some bacon. Oh please ignore my filthy stove, by the way. Sorry. This dish entailed chopping up every vegetable on the planet and then cooking quinoa for a confusingly long amount of time, so I ended up spending like an hour making it this morning. I also had to do the dishes, and we ran out of paper towels, and it was a whole ordeal. Erik tried to give me the “hey, maybe be reasonable with this whole cooking thing, maybe you don’t need to wake up at 6 to cook a complicated breakfast before you go work a 12 hour day at your demanding early stage startup job?” and I of course responded by yelling at him and telling him that we can’t go back to eating unhealthy and then we had to have a long talk about how to make this whole thing sustainable blah blah.

To summarize, continuing to eat healthy is proving much harder than the original diet did. I just don’t know what to do with myself now. It’s really unappealing to go back to eating anything that’s not Whole 30 compliant because I’ve seen such positive results. But it really doesn’t feel like this lifestyle is sustainable for us. I literally have zero free time for anything but working and cooking. And Erik is very tired of having to hear about how tired I am of dealing with all this stuff.

Anyway, the skillet was good! I guess I like quinoa. And sweet potatoes. And bacon oh god did I miss bacon. Bacon is very good.

For lunch today, I had leftovers from dinner last night, which was this other crazy thing:

It’s chicken marbella (whatever that is) over sauteed kale. It has shallots and capers and olives and dates (!) and it’s topped with parsley. It was good, although I could have lived without the dates. I just still don’t really like sweet stuff mixed in with my meats. But it was very flavorful. And today for lunch I had the leftovers with corn instead of kale. #grainlife

I’ve had a weird recurring headache all this week. It’s possible that it’s stress, but it does seem suspicious that this has crept up on me the very week I’ve started eating things outside of the Whole 30. My skin is also not at its finest (which also could be stress I suppose) - I’m breaking out like right above my eyebrows which seems like a weird place to break out and not one that usually afflicts me. Just very hard to keep up with what’s diet related and what isn’t. For some reason I just thought it would be very straightforward to track cause and effect with this reintroduction stuff, but I still have no idea really what agrees with me and what doesn’t.

For dinner tonight, we had this slow cooker lemon chicken which Erik described as “...very fragrant” and I described as “what’s the point?”

We’ve been going to every grocery store on the planet this week trying to find a mysterious spice called Garam Masala which the recipe called for, and Erik finally tracked it down today. Turns out it’s a mix that includes things like cinnamon and cardamom, which are flavors that I very much do not like in my chicken (see above re: sweets and meats). This was definitely edible, but I don’t think we’d bother making it again. Way too much work for something that I think would taste way better if it was just straight up lemon and chicken.

But on the plus side, I got to eat rice! Man, this felt like such a ridiculous treat. I even chose brown rice over white rice, which I never thought I would say in my entire life. But even brown rice, seriously, felt decadent. 

Speaking of weird things I’ve been eating, check out this breakfast I had yesterday:

It’s spaghetti squash with hardboiled eggs and ghee and salt and pepper and a little rosemary. I came across it a couple weeks ago when I was on my quest to eat nothing but spaghetti squash ever again. I... am not sure why I thought spaghetti squash for breakfast would make any sense. This was weird. The flavors didn’t go great together (one issue is I really don’t like ghee for flavoring, it’s way too sweet and weird) and it felt like I was eating spaghetti for breakfast. Not into it.

ANYWAY. Still going. Still skinny. Still spending many hours per day cooking. Bye!

[meanderfall]

//tornadoes thru ur window, completely shattering the glass: for the writer meme, 5 - 6 - 8 - 10 - 15 - 21 - 25 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 34 - 36 - 39 - 45 - 47 - 48 - 49 - aaaand 50: how long do you usually let an idea fester in your mind before you're like, "okay, i'll write you down u little fucker"? ALSO IM AWARE THIS IS A LOT, LMAOOO <3

LDJF;KFGSKGF ADRI MY LOVE, MY WIFE, MY KNIGHT, MY SUN AND MOON, THANK YOU OMG, I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR A NOVEL OF AN ANSWER LMAO

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

LMAO I ACTUALLY HAVE THIS CALCULATED PER HOUR just bc that’s how long my train ride is. So I can do about 400-500 words in 50~ minutes.anyway tbh, I write almost never, but when I do, I try to get around 1000 words done??? that’s usually when i lose steam too. (though i guess if i did 500 word spurts instead throughout the day, i’d get more done) (TO CLARIFY, the only reason it’s so much is bc i only write when I know /exactly/ what the scene is gonna be and im motivated. if u sat my ass down in front of a computer each day and told me to write, I’d probably only get 100 in two hours, less even.)

6.     Single or multiple POV?

I’m a multiple pov hoe. I’ve thought before of writing something in entirely one pov, but tbh i dont think i could do it if the thing is longer that a 2000 word one shot.

8.     Oldest WIP

I HAD TO PULL OUT MY USB FOR THIS GODDAMN

Okay so, my oldest wip ever, is an original story I started in, I think, 2011 and wrote throughout the year. It’s got about 22k words down, but tbh i dont think im ever gonna touch it again.fanfic-wise, my oldest wip is a harvest moon fanfic, that’s around 6k words i think? and i was planning on re-writing it bc i didnt like the characterization of one of the characters and i wanted to fix that, but it’s been like five years now, i dont think it’s ever gonna be done. (I still want to though). (and u can find said wip on my fanfiction.net account)

10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

My guy, i’ve never set a deadline for myself in my entire life. I think I tried to do it once, and i completely let it pass by. (Though the fanfic i mentioned previously, im pretty sure i updated once a week before i fucked up)

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

I either set it aside (and never pick it up again lmao) and let it stew in the back of my mind until I get something else, oR I POWER THROUGH THIS MOTHERFUCKER, and I’ll probably only write 50 words and hate every single last one of them, but I got it done and it’s better than nothing and hopefully tomorrow i’ll actually have something. (also, sometimes when powering through, what i write ends up inspiring me and im like “oh of course!” and i blaze through it)

21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?in case u havent noticed yet, about 99% of all my characters are snarky to some degree. I need a character with a wry sense of humour, and I’ll usually stay in their pov a lot. The only other character “type” I have are the sunshine pure cinnamon rolls who care and love everyone. Oh, and I guess also the ones who are pissed and bitter at the world at large. (I should.... probably... try to get out of this comfort zone...)

25.  Favourite part of writing

okay tbh, my favourite part is when I’m winding down from a good writing session, and I just feel so proud and alive, because I was productive and I created something with my own two hands and mind, and there are very few things that are as incredible as that imo

27.  Favourite line/scene

okay so this was hard to pick??? not to mention it’s all crap you’ve seen before but whatever.

There’s this one:

“McCreewas abruptly reminded of when he was nothing more than a teen, snarling andfurious at everyone around him, not willing to trust anyone. And he wasreminded of Gabriel Reyes who stayed calm and collected in front of his fury,gently rebuking him when he crossed a line; who praised him when he did welland willingly trusted him to have his back even though McCree didn’t trust him;who seemed to quietly understand why McCree acted in certain ways, accepted it,but encouraged him to choose better. Gabriel Reyes, who had faith in him whenhe wasn’t even sure he liked himself.“

And this one:

“IfWash’s head was a ghost town, then the Meta’s was a fucking wasteland.

Butthe worst part wasn’t the scorched earth and completely lifeless landscape, norwas it the stormy brown clouds above. No, the worst part was the lava that wasslowly inching its way up the mountain. It bubbled and simmered an awful sicklyorange as it creeped up bit by bit, not fast at all, but inexorably to the topof the mountain, going against all laws of physics. It was so awfully wrongthat he honestly felt sick witnessing it. Not helping was the sizzles it madeas it burned through whatever little vegetation there was and (he had no ideawhy he knew this, maybe it was because he was connected to the Meta’s brain?),it felt like the lava was actually gouging the earth, opening cracks andseeping inside, corrupting and destroying what lay within.

Wasthe Meta even a person anymore?”

(I proooobably would’ve picked something from the tuckington au but.... a lot of my favourite stuff is dialogue, or snarky narration, and idk it’s hard to choose and there aint a lot of depth to it)

28.  Favourite side character

OKAY THERE’S THIS ONE SIDE CHARACTER IN ONE MY ORIGINAL STORY IDEAS WHOM I ADORE (even though he has no name yet lmao) BUT HE’S BASICALLY REALLY SWEET AND CARING AND HE’S TRYING HIS BEST TO BE HAPPY AND SUPPORTIVE FOR ALL HIS COMPANIONS BC THEY’RE ALL GOING THROUGH HARD TIMES, BUT IT’S REALLY HARD FOR HIM AND HE’S INWARDLY SUFFERING SO MUCH BUT HE KEEPS SMILING FOR PEOPLE ANYWAY AND FLDG;DKHGFKG I LOVE HIM

29.  Favourite villain

I’m... cheating for this, I’ve never written a villain ever actually (and tbh what the fuck??? how??? i have so many original story ideas and none of them are villains??? what the fuck (maybe the true villains were the friends we made along the way))

okay so, originally, this character was gonna be the villain alright. She was mean, cruel, snarky, cunning, and manipulative. But as time went on, and I started exploring her character, wondering why she was like this, what her goal is, and I changed and shifted the plot of the story around she... sort of... became the main character. woops.

30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

IM ONLY GONNA USE ORIGINAL STORIES FOR THIS BC HOLY SHIT

Honestly, I’d probably have to go with this idea I had of a living person picking up the scythe of a Grim Reaper and becoming one and having to learn the ropes of the job.

Okay, I lied, it might actually be this detective series idea I had, wherein the main character, a police officer, has to investigate cases that, for the most part, are reminiscent, or re-imagined versions, of Quebec folk tales, and she has to figure out why the fuck this is happening.

34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

FIGHTING AND ACTION SCENES I HATE THEM SO MUCH OH MY GOD THEY TAKE FOREVER AND I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IM FUCKING THEM UP HORRIBLY I HATE THEM (I could give u a specific example, but i dont want to)

36.  Last sentence you wrote

“Shut up.”

(this is actually how chapter 2 of my tuckington high school au ends lmao and there’s nothing to gain from it have fun adri)

39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

OH SHIT I ACTUALLY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION, okay so the i have no clue where the idea came from, but for some reason i had this idea of a character who’s mental stability or whatever was linked to these bracelets she wore??? but it was more like she became more primal and animalistic the more bracelets were taken off until she lost all sense of identity, and i think it’s because she was being controlled or used by an organization or whatever. This was just a random idea that I had and okay i know it’s dark af, but it’s honestly the weirdest one. (tbh…. im not sure i have one that could be considered weird…)

45.  How much world building do you do?

all of it. just. all of it. I need to know clothes, food, architecture, cultural norms, the history of the world, how the fuck people can communicate when there are multiple countries and multiple languages, and this is why absolutely none of my original stuff has ever been written

47.  Best way to procrastinate

Day-dreaming scenes and ideas instead of writing them

48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

W O W ADRI U WANNA CALL ME OUT THAT BADLY HUH?

honestly it’s probably that main character/villain i mentioned previously, bc i just gave her all of my self-loathing and she was supposed to sacrifice herself heroically in the end and there was gonna be an entire speech about why she was the right person to do this. (if it makes u feel any better, I’ve modified it so she doesn’t actually die and everyone is like “wtf? NO!”)

also the protagonist in story, i just gave her my depression and general lostness in life. (most... of my characters... start off with a part of me I want to explore, but over time, as I flesh them out, they become their own people, and actually have nothing to do with me anymore tbh)

49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

THAT SWEET CINNAMON ROLL I MENTIONED BEFORE OMG YES, I WOULD PROTECT HIM WITH MY LIFE

50: how long do you usually let an idea fester in your mind before you’re like, “okay, i’ll write you down u little fucker”?

*LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY* OH MAN ADRI U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’VE JUST ASKED DO U OMG WAIT UNTIL U HEAR THIS

okay so u know that story with the cinnamon roll and main character/villain? The basic plot of that story has been in my brain since around 2011. I still haven’t started to write it. (though, to be fair, that story has changed so goddamn much since 2012 holy shit, and for the better tbh)

tbh adri, ur like 80% of my impulse control, and by that I mean you make me impulsive enough to actually write things instead of letting them ruminate in my brain forevermore. Hell, I’ve only started to get back into writing fanfiction because of you, okay, if u weren’t around I’d probably just give up on writing ever, and let the idea of being a novelist be nothing more but a fantasy i daydream about.

[atravellingfoodie]

Ambrosial No bake Strawberry Jelly Cheesecake Slice is an uncomplicated recipe that results in a lush creamy dessert that’s sets beautifully in the fridge. I have always been crazy about cheesecake, especially strawberry and vanilla cheesecake to be exact. Everything comes together to create the perfect treat for your pleasure.

This No bake Strawberry Jelly Cheesecake Slice recipe is perfect for those who like all things sweet that acquire a variation of flavours. I admit, not everyone has the same taste and enjoy the same things but each time I prepare this it’s gone in a flash.

To be honest, I actually prefer baked cheese cake, with passion fruit and caramel being my favourites. During those dreadful winter months those might be a good alternative but for now when we can still enjoy nice weather, I want to share my good old summer fridge cheese cake recipe with you.

The very first time I fell in love with strawberry cheesecake was one evening at one of the functions at our home in Cape Town. My family was big on entertainment and catering but for this event, everyone had brought something along. I can’t exactly remember what the occasion was but I can distinctively remember the moment my eyes fell on the Strawberry Jelly Cheesecake dessert.

What first caught my attention was the presentation of it. It was beautifully decorated with fresh strawberries and heavy cream and it just looked stunning. When I went ahead and helped myself to a slice or two, the first thing I tasted was the firm biscuit base that had a cinnamon flavour and the smooth texture of the creamy filling. It tasted just as good as it looked. What good is something looking  great but tasting terrible, right? Unfortunately, I have no idea who made the cheesecake that day but I can definitely say that whoever it was did a fantastic job.

This Jelly Cheesecake Slice is smooth and velvety in texture, with a sharp, rich taste. I have to say, this recipe is more of a luxurious kind due to the mascarpone being added, but yet so simple as well. Some ingredients can be left out but the recipe as is, is delightful.

Top tips for the best Jelly Cheesecake Slice filling and biscuit base

For this particular Strawberry Jelly Cheesecake recipe, I add a few additional ingredients to enhance the flavour such as vanilla extract/essence, mascarpone cheese, cinnamon and lemon zest. For me, this creates the kind of flavour that I like. The lemon and lemon zest, along with the sugar content of the other ingredients creates a surge of flavour that you simply cannot resist. For the topping, I use only strawberry jelly and or fresh strawberries and serve it in different ways if I’m feeling a bit creative.

Be sure to use the cream cheese and the mascarpone cheese are at room temperature before proceeding to mix as this will also result in clumps.

Be sure to whip all ingredients thoroughly to ensure a smooth outcome. Failing to whip ingredients together properly will result in clumps.

If you want to achieve a sweeter taste it may be better to reduce the amount of lemon juice added.

If you are looking to find a cheaper option than the mascarpone cheese, you may use full fat creamed cottage cheese or full fat cream cheese with the condensed milk will to give you fabulous results as well.

Be sure to add enough melted butter to the biscuit crumbs for the base. Add additional melted butter if needed and thoroughly work it through to avoid a crumbling base.

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Why add Mascarpone cheese to the Jelly Cheesecake Slice filling

Well, Mascarpone was used for many things cooking related in our home but I was not a fan of it till my trip to Istanbul in 2017. Whilst in Istanbul, we went on a few fantastic food tours. Our first food tour featured the type of breakfast the Turkish people enjoy and for those who don’t know, you cannot travel to Turkey without enjoying the velvety clotted cream bathed in a sweet sweep of honey known as bal kaymak. I literally could not get enough this stuff while we were in Turkey.

Read more: Culinary backstreets food tour of Istanbul

I was a bit obssesed and when I got back to Cape Town I had an unusual craving for it and since we couldn’t find kaymak, I remembered mascarpone. I got me some mascarpone and swooped a bit of honey over it on crispy toast and that got my craving slightly satisfied. It was like Istanbul all over again. I use mascarpone quite a lot and especially in desserts. I use it for waffle topping, fridge tarts, flap-jack toppings and now, cheese cake. In our home you will always find mascarpone. It’s just one of those things that we always have.

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No bake Cheesecake Slice variations and garnish for those who don’t like jelly

Blueberries are also a pretty and delicious way to decorate your dessert. Homemade blueberry jam tastes heavenly.

Whipped caramel or caramel syrup compliments cheese cake really well too.

Chocolate syrup/sauce or melted chocolate is great as well. If all else fails, chocolate is always there to save the day.

Fresh fruits are also a beautiful way to decorate any dessert.

And lastly, jelly makes for an affordable but luscious looking homemade dessert.

Other recipes you may like

Dreamy Moist Strawberry Vanilla Cake recipe

Best Glazed Orange Bundt Cake

Old Fashioned Spiced Boiled Fruit Cake

Decadent Chocolate Cake with ganache frosting

Cape Malay Potato Pudding (Aartappel porring)

Brioche Bread and Butter pudding (brood porring)

Ambrosial No bake Strawberry Jelly Cheesecake Slice

This No bake Strawberry Jelly Cheesecake Slice is an uncomplicated recipe that results in a lush creamy dessert that's sets beautifully in the fridge.

Chese cake base

300 grams Tennis biscuits or coconut shortbread biscuits (approximately 1 1/2 packets)

70 grams unsalted butter, melted (approximately 5 tablespoons)

1.25 ml cinnamon powder (approximately 1/4 teaspoon)

Cheese cake filling

140 grams mascarpone cheese (approximately 60 ml or 4 tablespoons)

250 gram full fat cream cheese or smooth cottage cheese (approximately 1 tub)

250 ml sweetened full cream condensed milk (approximately 1 tin)

60 ml lemon juice, freshly squeezed (approximately 4 tablespoons)

5 ml lemon zest, finely grated (approximately 1 teaspoon)

5 ml vanilla extract (approximately 1 teaspoon)

Strawberry cheese cake topping

80 grams strawberry jelly granules (approximately 1 packet)

250 ml boiling water (approximately 1 cup)

How to make a cheesecake base

Finely crush tennis biscuits with a rolling pin or food processed and add the melted butter. Combine the two ingredients until it is like wet sand with no big pieces.

Add the cinnamon powder and mix to combine.

Press the buttery cookie crumbs into the base of a serving dish with the back of a spoon or the flat bottom of a measuring cup and place into the fridge to chill until required.

How to make cheesecake filling

Mix the strawberry jelly granules with 1 cup of boiling water. Set this aside to cool completely at room temperature, until required.

In a medium size mixing bowl, beat the mascarpone and cream cheese for 3-5 minutes until smooth and fluffy.

Add the condensed milk and vanilla extract to the cream cheese mixture and beat for a further 5 minutes until it is combined.

Add the lemon juice and lemon zest and beat for another 5 minutes.

Pour the filling mixture over the chilled biscuit base and smooth the surface.

Place in the refrigerator to set for at least 30 minutes.

Pour over the cooled strawberry jelly and place back in the refrigerator, allow to chill for 4-6 hours to set completely before serving.

When ready to serve cut the cheesecake into squares and serve with a garnish of fruit or whipped fresh cream.

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Ambrosial No bake Strawberry Jelly Cheesecake Slice Ambrosial No bake Strawberry Jelly Cheesecake Slice is an uncomplicated recipe that results in a lush creamy dessert that's sets beautifully in the fridge.