#update: and upon you my most specialest blorbo I bestow the highest fathomable honor

[mrfartpowered]

Divorced Mort Theory

Despite its name, this is less of a theory and more of a thoroughly-developed headcanon 😭 Another banger mostly from the mind of @cunningweiner, transcribed by me LOL

It begins with a question: where in the world is Mrs. Weinerman?

She is mentioned a whopping ten (10) times over the course of the entire series, and one of those times is only an implied mention. You can argue Heidi’s nightmare in McFear Factor serves as her canon appearance, but Lize and I think that’s just a punchline. We don’t acknowledge it as an official Mrs. Weinerman design lol.

Most of the Mrs. Weinerman mentions are inconsequential. Usually, they are passing comments stating Weinerman family rules: Howard isn’t allowed to do something, Heidi has to let Howard join her on air, the two of them need to share lunch money. But there are a few mentions on which this theory hinges.

Mort-al Combat writes Heidi out of the episode by mentioning that she’s out with her mother on a trip. Yes, it’s perfectly normal for one sibling to take a trip with one parent, and for all family members to be on good terms with each other. But it is also very common for children with divorced parents, typically kids Howard and Heidi’s ages, to choose to spend more time with one parent than the other.

This interpretation is supported by Howard’s clinical-ass business-like relationship with Mrs. Weinerman. In MMMy Bologna, he mentions her singing lullabies to him when he was a baby. Other than that, of the six precious times Howard himself mentions her, THREE of them are about money. He uses her credit card, he receives lunch money from her…and also there’s that one bit about Howard buying expensive hand cream BUT THAT STILL PROVES MY POINT!! Anyway — last but not least, he complains that both Mort and Mrs. Weinerman got him socks for Hanukkah. Sure, parents don’t always shop for gifts for their kids together. But Howard’s phrasing leads me to believe that these socks were given as separate gifts, rather than, like, many socks given jointly by his parents.

I also want to point out that, in Ball’s Well Part 2 when the doorbell rings, he calls for Mort, then Heidi, before just answering the door himself. Mrs. Weinerman either works odd hours, or doesn’t live with Mort, and you know what I’m choosing to believe!

Now, because that’s the most material I can work off, that’s the only evidence I have. Find headcanons below :33

Mort and the former Mrs. Weinerman married young, had kids shortly after, and divorced not long before the series’ beginning

Mort did not take the divorce well…but he also wasn’t doing too hot while he was married, so 🤷‍♀️

Howard gets his temperament from his mother: impulsive, hot-headed, and self-serving. They also look very similar in the face, and Heidi points it out whenever he makes certain facial expressions, which bothers Howard a lot

Much like Howard and Mort in the series, Mort often played doormat to his then-wife’s demands. I wouldn’t say she was a nagging woman, nor an abusive wife, she was just… not well suited to a guy like Mort. He needs someone bold, yes, but understanding — and like Howard, I think Mrs. W struggles with empathy

During the divorce process, Howard asked for Mort to have full custody. He and his mother are so similar that they butted heads frequently and loudly, affecting the entire household. Mort ended up with full physical custody, sharing legal custody with the former Mrs. W.

Though Howard would rather die than properly express it, he was so relieved when he learned he wouldn’t have to live with his mom. He may not respect Mort…at all…but he’s 15, for crying out loud, he’ll learn. That’s his dad, yeah he’s a pushover, but I think on some level Howard knows his dad tries. Theirs is a tense love, but a love nonetheless

Howard’s relationship with his mother is hanging on by a thread. Neither of them have a desire to get to know the other — because Howard is a petty kid whose empathy is still developing, and because Mrs. W is childish and quick to anger.

Heidi doesn’t necessarily get along with her mother, either, but they’re different enough to have a decent relationship, and Heidi feels obligated to her. “She’s my mom, I’ve gotta love her” type beat.

Mort has very complicated feelings about his ex-wife. She’s the mother of his children, but yes, he recognizes that she didn’t treat him very well. He appreciates his daughter trying to maintain a relationship with her. He’s not sure how to feel about Howard. I think maybe he recognizes that she didn’t treat Howard very well, either. It makes him sad but he knows it’s for the better

Mort is honestly kind of terrified that Howard chose him. There’s a part of him that didn’t expect it. There’s a bigger part of him that doesn’t think he can handle it. He wants so, so badly to live up to Howard’s choice, and that’s why he lets Howard walk all over him.

They both have a lot of learning to do before they can have a healthy, fulfilling relationship, but I like to believe yes, with time, they figure it out.