#upcoming seasons do some real legwork

[lichtbrenger]

Since (apart from Susan) there’s a lack of old people in hell (and the glimpse of heaven we got for that matter) I feel like we can assume the age at which you croak has little to do with the age you get stuck in the afterlife. Maybe you get sent down to the age at which you were most miserable? Because otherwise I think hell would be filled with the elderly

[realestateconsultantpune212]

Streamline Your Property Search With An Expert Real Estate Consultant In Pune

The advantages of Working Together With Real-estate Experts in Pune Are you looking to buy or offer a house within the wonderful town of Pune? Then, you’re most likely mindful of the intricacies and complications that can have the method. From choosing the best house to navigating lawful and financial concerns, there is a lot to take into account when it comes to real estate property purchases. That’s why utilizing a seasoned property advisor can be so helpful. Let’s take a look at some of the benefits of hiring a property specialist in Pune.

Knowledge & Information

Real Estate Consultant Pune have substantial understanding and expertise related to buying and selling attributes in Pune. They fully grasp market place tendencies, numerous locations inside the area, zoning laws and regulations, lawful specifications, financing possibilities, costs techniques and much more. An effective consultant can also get associates inside the nearby business who is able to provide important insights into prospective sale listings or buyers. All this information might help make certain you make noise judgements throughout your financial transaction method.

Time Cost savings When you deal with a genuine estate advisor for your upcoming transaction or buy in Pune, you can save yourself some time and trouble by leveraging their practical experience and solutions. Just supply details about what you are searching for—your preferred place, finances, form of property—and your realtor can do the legwork to suit your needs after that. And also since they have accessibility to directories that most shoppers don't have access to (like MLS), they may even be able to find qualities which are not outlined publicly but! This might supply you with a edge against your competitors over other buyers if you shift quickly enough on these possibilities.

Negotiation Support Experts may also be qualified negotiators who know how to get both sides to agree with terminology that everybody is pleased with. No matter if it's hammering out information concerning a cost point or working with contingencies composed into agreements, experienced consultants are able to handle talks like experts while keeping all parties concerned pleased with the end result. Additionally, they might even have the capacity to propose methods for buyers to lessen their costs during negotiations through income tax credits or any other benefits.

Summary: As we discussed, working with a highly skilled real estate property expert in Pune offers many advantages on your property deal procedure. From their skills and data about community trading markets and legal guidelines on their negotiation capabilities and time-conserving professional services, through an expert in your corner helps make every step of the procedure softer and increasingly simple prior to. In case you’re considering selling or buying home in Pune soon, consider contacting a skilled real estate consultant first – it could possibly make a huge difference!

[altekmediagroup]

Proven Ways To Earn Income From Your Blog

11 proven ways to earn lifestyle income from your blog

Over the past several years the blogging has emerged as a strong career option. It may sound almost impossible to earn 8-figure monthly income from your blog (like the top bloggers) but even considering the ground realities, you can expect a decent and regular income stream out of your blog. What you need is just the right strategy, incessant efforts, and determination. There are several ways to earn a good income through your blog. In this article, we are going o discuss some of the best ways to earn a lifestyle income from your blog.

Be committed and practical to the core-think like a businessperson

Every sweet success has a history of incessant efforts and failures. It is good to be impressed by the top bloggers earning 6-figure income but at the same time you should be prepared to put into that much of efforts, day in and day out- without being affected by the outcome. Be practical to the core and attach a quantity to everything- right from the number of daily posts to the weekly social media metrics (shares, likes, tweets & retweets, Linkedin engagement, etc.) It will offer you a definite way to monitor your progress and precisely optimize the efforts for better output.

Create high-quality content and build traffic

Keep on investing and reasonably multiplying your efforts until you have published as many as 40 posts on your blog, across different categories. The easiest way to earn readers’ trust is to post a continuous stream of high-quality content that delivers them the real value. It helps you to create and increase the dedicated traffic which is the key criterion for assuring and determining the regular blog income with reasonable efforts. Adopt definite strategies to build a dependable stream of visitors on your blog (Start with a minimum number). Make sure that your blog is indexed by the major search engines, especially Google. It makes your blog technically eligible to show up in the relevant search queries (though it doesn’t guarantee inclusion or assurance)

Gain social media traction

Social traction is a must. Building a dedicated social community not only helps in increasing blog audiences but can also be instrumental in turning your blog posts into viral success. Of course, there are many other benefits like more shares and engagement, increased trust level and better income opportunities. The social media community and traction is a vital criterion in determining your commercials while negotiating for sponsored articles and guest posts. Once you have got good traffic and traction, you can then start exploring the different income options. Here are a few of the genuine and popular ways of earning blogging income:

Google Adsense

It is undoubtedly the best income option for beginners. You can expect a regular income without having to invest too many efforts. In short you earn a commission depending upon the unique clicks on the Google ads displayed in your blog post.

Salient features

Joining Google Adsense Program is free There aren’t any hidden agendas, costs or obligatory terms (like purchasing their products or services) Only contextual ads are inserted into your blog posts which increases the chances of unique clicks The ads are attractively designed and retina friendly and they do not interfere with the reading experience The ads can be customized to match the theme of your blog in terms of design, colors, and fonts There are multiple ad types available - text ads, video ads, and graphic ads You don’t need complicated technical knowledge or a tedious process to start showing the ads. Just copy the code and paste it on your blog and you are good to go.

Sell services or products

With Google Adsense program you can earn a decent income with zero investment. However, you would only earn a commission- a fraction of the original cost. If you want to play an entrepreneur and enjoy complete control over your earning potential and revenue opportunities then you can start selling products or services through your blog.

Pro tips for beginners

Be reliable, transparent and authoritative to win the trust of your audiences. Build strong one on one relationship with them by active interactions, inviting their thought and promptly replying to their emails or comments. It builds credibility and helps you to convince them to invest in your products. Audiences and potential customers are much smarter than you think. So, avoid fooling them by selling flimsy sounding products like becoming a millionaire in 1 week or similarly named eBooks/presentations) Invest some time in researching the unique pain point or requirements of your target audience and offer the product that provides a precise and practical solution to them Marketing plays a vital role in selling your product. Before launching your products create the buzz. Attract people’s attention by posting about the upcoming products on social media and publishing detailed, engaging posts around your product Have a well-designed strategy to get maximum reviews for your new products/services not only on your blog and social media properties but also across other relevant channels. You can also consider other promotional activities like guest posting about your products on relevant industry blogs and offering exclusive discounts to your blog audiences An easier way to sell your product is via specific marketing mediums like Clickbank. It has a dedicated team and proven strategies to digitally sell your products in different ways and you just need to pay a modest percentage on each successful sale.

Become an affiliate

If you don’t have good entrepreneurial skills or are not ready to take the risks then you can seriously consider joining affiliate programs. The best thing about affiliate programs is that you won’t need to invest any capital. All you have to do is to spread the word about various products and services through your blog and on each successful sale you will earn a specific commission.

Benefits of affiliate programs

You don’t have to incur efforts in creating a product or services There are several exciting affiliate programs available but it is highly recommendable to focus on relevance rather than the commission. For instance, it is impractical to sell fashion accessories on your technology-related blog just because you are getting a high commission. On the other hand, you can expect a good income by selling a relevant technology gadget (even with lower commission) on the same blog due to the higher possibility of sales. No capital investment is required It saves you from adding digital architecture like an order form, checkout, etc. There are no strict corporate formalities or legalities No after-sales worry is involved as you won’t be involved in resolving the customer issue or offering customer services By utilizing your writing and marketing skills you can make a decent income regularly During peak season like Black Friday, Christmas and New Year you can multiply the sales volume earning potential by investing little extra efforts

Join Amazon Associates

If you blog around a specific industry or a product like technology, mobiles, video games or healthcare then you can seriously consider joining Amazon Associates Program. Unlike general affiliates, Amazon Associates promote only relevant products rather than the brand. It helps in connecting better with the audiences’ intent and their precise requirements. Promoting specific products instead of a brand as a whole also allows you to help your audiences in making a well-informed buying decision.

Ad space selling

You may also choose to sell the ad space to private clients but it needs good marketing skills and certain knowledge about the digital ads industry. In short, you sell specific ad spots on your blog to the private parties based on the specific term- say for 6 months or 1 year. For that term, the rented space would be used for displaying their ads. Depending upon the age and traffic of your site, you can either earn just a sufficient amount to cover your running costs or may also expect a substantial revenue source for your blog.

Things to remember

You need to incur your efforts, identify and reach the potential parties and explain to them why they should place their ads on your blog and what are the benefits they can expect out of the same To be frank it is very difficult to convince the potential clients and you would need excellent marketing and communication skills It would most likely involve multiple follow-ups, different communication methods, and even some legwork Unlike AdSense or similar programs, you are solely responsible for taking care of legal/professional aspects in terms of deliverables and payments So, be very careful while creating terms and conditions as the instances of cheating and spamming are not uncommon

Advice to the readers

In short, if you are just a beginner and aren’t good at marketing or corporate legalities then it is best not to consider this option as yet. However, if you are a peoples’ people, have good convincing skills, and are too smart to be fooled by the clients then you can expect a really good income out of this method. Having said, that we would just like to repeat that you would need strong credentials and high traffic to earn a substantial income out of this method.

Other blogging income options involve

Chitika: Chitika places ads on your blog posts but unlike AdSense, these ads aren’t necessarily relevant to your blog post. The positive thing is that it is easier to get your blog approved by Chitika (as compared to getting approved by Google Adsense) Feedburner: You can also include ads on your Feedburner stream and earn through them Exclusive content: If you have unique research and writing skills then you can also offer in-depth, well-researched article available only for the paid subscribers Training Sessions: Offer relevant training to the people through video, chat or personal classes. For instance, if you are a financial blogger then offer finance management training to start-ups or teach people with financial limitations/issues on how to take care of their financial health Syndicated Content: It refers to selling your content to the third party. After creating a good volume of high-quality content on your blog, you can start selling your licensed content at a good price tag

Conclusion

To earn a good income out of the blog you need to invest incessant efforts and time. It is equally important to remain focused and dedicated. After gaining good traction and traffic you need t carefully choose the ideal income option based on your blog traffic, topic, income targets, and your personality traits. In this blog, we presented multiple blogging income options but the readers are advised to use their discretion while choosing the option that best suits their targets, skills and blog traffic.

Articles By Jitendra Bhojwani worldofwords1970@gmail.com Expertise: Jitendra Bhojwani (Jatin) is a versatile creative/tech writer and regular blogger and he loves sharing the latest news and information on WordPress and Blogging. He is a keen advocate of Open Source Technology and considers and respects writing as a meditative technique to get rid of negative thoughts and stress. His favorite niches include history, travel, lifestyle and technology. For certain types of start-ups, NGOs, social businesses he offers free writing services.  

Pulkit Expertise: As the CEO of Softaculous, Pulkit is passionate about different types of software and how to utilize them for the betterment of business and society. He possesses a special interest and knowledge on WordPress and Blogging which he freely shares with beginner and seasoned bloggers alike. More recently he has also started wp Central, a WP plugin to manage multiple sites with ease.       Read the full article

[doctorwhonews]

Torchwood: Aliens Among Us - Part 1

Latest Review: Written By: James Goss, Juno Dawson, AK Benedict Directed By: Scott Handcock ​Lead Cast: John Barrowman (Captain Jack Harkness), Kai Owen (Rhys Williams), Tom Price (Sgt Andy Davidson), Paul Clayton (Mr Colchester), Alexandria Riley (Ng), Jonny Green (Tyler Steele), and Eve Myles (Gwen Cooper) Supporting Cast: Stephen Critchlow (The Mayor), Rachel Atkins (Ro-Jedda), Ruth Lloyd (Vorsun), Sophie Colquhoun (Madrigal), Rhian Marston-Jones (Quenel), Lu Corfield (Brongwyn), Rhys Whomsley (Osian), Sharon Morgan (Mary Cooper), David Sibley (Vincent Parry), Sam Béart (Catrin Parry), Anthony Boyle (Hotel Manager), Sam Jones (Toobert Jailert), Wilf Scolding (Personal Trainer) ​Released by Big Finish Productions - August 2017 In receiving the licensed green light to revive Doctor Who’s first full-fledged TV spin-off show, Torchwood, as an ongoing series of audio dramas in May 2015, Big Finish set themselves arguably their most daunting challenge since embarking upon a mission to do likewise for Who back in 1999. Like its mother show in the 1970s, the four season-strong, adult-geared BBC sci-fi drama had reached the height of its televisual powers by 2009, producing an award-winning miniseries in Children of Earth which suggested its writers had finally perfected their efforts to blend universe expansion with compelling, mature storylines capable of attracting newcomers alongside ever-devoted followers of the Doctor. Just as the arrival of iconic figures like Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy and John Nathan-Turner bred behind-the-scenes troubles which ultimately sealed Who’s 19-year hiatus, however, so too did Torchwood’s golden age of on-screen success reach a swift, turbulent crescendo just moments after its apex. The Starz-produced fourth season Miracle Day lacked the narrative momentum, multi-faceted supporting characters or overall British charm which had reaped Children of Earth such universal acclaim two years beforehand, once again prompting a previously beloved sci-fi saga to enter an indefinite purgatorial state, particularly as its showrunner Russell T Davies faced heartbreaking personal struggles not long after the run’s Summer 2011 broadcast. But between their sensational opening trio of monthly runs featuring beloved characters like Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Ianto Jones and of course the indomitable Captain Jack Harkness (if you’ve yet to try The Conspiracy, Uncanny Valley, Zone 10, Broken or Corpse Day, then head to Big Finish’s website when you’re done here and remedy that error), the tremendous The Torchwood Archive serving as both a fitting series coda and 10th anniversary special, and box-sets like Before the Fall offering profound insights into the titular secret agency’s mysterious past, Big Finish have more than confirmed their status as the brand’s perfect gatekeepers for the foreseeable future. Next up on their agenda, then? Continuing the story where Miracle Day left off, albeit making a few welcome course corrections en route to ensure that Season Five doesn’t trigger another near-death experience for Torchwood. Even with the support of the mighty Russell behind them, can the studio pull off such a Herculean feat, no longer simply hopping between eras of the show for standalone romps but instead conveying a whole new arc over the course of 12 episodes and three box-sets? Let’s begin the quest to find out with Aliens Among Us – Part 1, evaluating each of the four hour-long instalments in detail before ascertaining whether James Goss and company should ever have bothered embarking upon this audacious campaign… Changes Everything: “Torchwood is dead.” There’s an unmistakable sense of irony about wright James Goss’ decision to invert the title of Torchwood’s pilot episode in naming Season Five’s opener. While the Cardiff of “Changes Everything” has undergone no shortage of transformations, between mass immigration, mass homelessness and mass alien infiltration, while Jack and Gwen were fighting to end the Miracle in the US of A, this compelling first chapter largely works to re-establish much of the show’s pre-Miracle Day status quo, from the shattered but still intact Hub to the team’s iconic SUV to Jack and Gwen back in business at Torchwood Three’s helm. Much of the real change, then, comes with Goss’ introduction of two deliciously morally and psychologically complex new – potential in one case – recruits to the team this time around. Enter the irritable but courageous civil servant Mr. Colchester and the intrepid but concerningly ruthless ex-paparazzi Tyler Steele, the former of whom comes off as initially closed-minded yet has plenty more to him than meets the eye and the latter - brought brilliantly to life as an unashamedly slimy rogue by Jonny Green - bound to rile most listeners with his self-serving rationale as much as he does the rest of the team. For reasons that will become obvious by the end of the hour, Russell’s influence upon the characterisation of these two new players is as clear as daylight, lending them the same dramatically layered but equally realistic personalities that one would expect of any of the Doctor’s 2005-2009 companions or indeed any employee at Torchwood until the Miracle. It’s thanks to this pair of ever-evolving characters largely taking centre-stage – especially in Tyler’s case – here that a somewhat necessarily by-the-books set-up storyline revealing the existence of an unseen alien community pulling the strings in Cardiff remains thoroughly engaging to sit through, though that’s not to say the plot doesn’t pack any dramatic heft in its own right. Much as we’ve encountered plenty such shady organisations such as those behind Season Four’s Miracle or indeed the Committee at the heart of Big Finish’s Torchwood monthly range to date, that the latest foes to emerge from the Rift provoke racist sentiments and terror attacks across Wales’ capital city gives “Changes” a disturbingly relevant edge, the depiction of bombings taking countless lives sure to unsettle anyone following today’s headlines but all the more relevant a subject matter for the show to tackle. As with most season premieres aiming to kick-start a season-spanning arc, the extra narrative legwork “Changes” must perform ultimately robs the opening outing of the chance to become a stellar standalone outing, but even so, by injecting the show with a fresh, volatile new team dynamic at Torchwood Three and harrowing poignancy via its topical real-world ties, Goss sets Aliens Among Us off on a promising trajectory indeed. Aliens & Sex & Chips & Gravy: “Right then, let’s go to a hen night.” Has any episode title ever served to summarised the core tenants of Torchwood as a work of mature yet oft-hilarious drama than the epithet Goss attributes to Season Five’s sophomore outing? Probably not, but thankfully the man responsible for helming the brand at Big Finish doesn’t get complacent off the back of this unparalleled achievement, instead finding time to devise a largely isolated storyline which dedicates almost an hour’s worth of time to developing bothEve Myles’ Gwen and Paul Clayton’s Colchester, not to mention exploring the fascinating interplay between these two world-wearied soldiers as they march into one of their most unlikely – not to mention hugely comedic – missions yet. Laden with outrageous set-pieces – from absurd hostage situations to drunken car chases – and unsubtle but warranted politico-religious commentary, Goss’ script follows these veteran crime-fighters in their efforts to determine how young Madrigal’s upcoming wedding nuptials are connected to the still-mysterious powers manipulating Cardiff for their own ends, only for their investigation to result in the increasingly inebriated Maddie causing them no shortage of explosive grief throughout the night. One does admittedly get the sense as “Aliens & Sex & Chips & Gravy” progresses that Goss thought this delightfully disbelief-uprooting premise was entertaining enough to fuel an entire hour of audio drama, since the second act of proceedings feels rather padded, throwing in convoluted further plot developments and additional characters who don’t add a great deal to proceedings beyond further exposition surrounding the nature of Madrigal’s betrothal. All the same, with Myles and Clayton on top form as they explore how their respective characters deal with leading lives of near-total dishonesty when balancing work with family ties, with Sophie Colquhoun’s Madrigal serving up a veritable array of painfully chuckle-worthy one-liners with each successive pint consumed, and with Goss even finding time to resolve loose plot threads from Titan Comics’ Torchwood strip by revealing the fate of the Ice Maiden’s crew, “Gravy” achieves more than enough in its running time – and builds more than enough intrigue for what’s to come – to stave off any occasional sense of plot tedium. Most importantly of all, that Episode 2 gave yours truly the joy of writing out its pitch-perfect title in full for this review is reason enough for its existence. Orr: “Who knew there was an alien black market right in the middle of Cardiff city centre?” Clearly not content with allowing Goss to expand Torchwood’s core roster with Colchester and Tyler, Juno Dawson adds another player into the mix with Orr, a third RTD-endorsed recruit whose alien heritage affords her some, well, alluring abilities that play glorious havoc with each member of the team here. “Orr” once again marks a near-complete tonal departure from its immediate predecessor, returning to explore the haunting implications of extremist fanatics for a Cardiff already at economic war with itself, while also throwing in aspects of romance and series-changing tragedy for good measure along the way. As one might well imagine, handling such a delicate balancing act – and having to carry the burden of progressing Aliens Among Us’ overall arc in a far more substantial manner than “Gravy” with the full-scale arrival of the season’s core antagonist – would prove a challenging at best prospect for even the most accomplished of scribes. Sure enough, what with tackling weighty concepts like housing shortages, illegal commercial transactions hidden in plain sight and shapeshifts forced to cater for their onlookers’ sexual fantasies, Dawson can’t quite avoid imbuing “Orr” with a lingering sense of tonal discontinuity at times, struggling to decide whether to focus on the hearty laughs Orr’s powers inspire, the aforementioned topicality of her plot or indeed setting up a twist set to inextricably alter Aliens Among Us’ trajectory for the next nine episodes. Thank goodness, then, that the merits of those individual plot and character threads are strong enough to leave the listener suitably chortled, emotionally wrought and ultimately captivated to discover what lies around the corner as soon as the show’s iconic end credits sting kicks in. As shown by her sublime Torchwood one-off outing The Dollhouse back in April, when left to her own devices Dawson’s got more than enough comedic and dramatic chops to pull off a standalone storyline for the range, but even if “Orr” can’t quite match that entertaining Charlie’s Angels-riffing adventure’s lofty heights, as a penultimate instalment for Part 1 it’s got more than enough to keep fans and newcomers alike engaged. Superiority Complex: “All life is equal – animal, mechanical and everything in-between.” Those wanting Part 1’s concluding instalment to serve as a gripping mid-season finale which leaves one desperate to hear the next four episodes might need to restrain those expectations somewhat. Much as “Superiority Complex” affords the whole team plenty to do as they infiltrate a prospering alien hotel to determine the source of recent on-site murders, with John Barrowman clearly relishing Jack’s newfound role as a typically flirtatious barman and Orr’s abilities granting her unprecedented access to employees’ psyches, it’s certainly not concerned with resolving or substantially progressing many plot threads established so far, barring a last-minute cliffhanger which promises dire straits for Torchwood Three come October’s Part 2. With that disclaimer out of the way, though, listeners can focus on simply enjoying the sheer lunacy of the team’s present situation, one member hiding a particularly juicy secret as she spars wits with disgruntled guests and Orr’s encounters with the hotel’s true management proving both ridiculous and tangible given the current exponential growth of artificial intelligence. Between uniting Jack with a British monarch in The Victorian Age and transforming Cardiff into a disease-ridden warzone in Outbreak, AK Benedict  is no stranger to devising logic-eschewing premises anyway, but “Complex” tests the extent to which your disbelief can be suspended like never before, an experiment which if nothing else ensures an unpredictable listening experience presumably akin to watching an episode of the original TV series while under the influence of narcotic substances. Better yet, come Episode 4’s credits we’re left with the unmistakable, gratifying sense of a truly reinvigorated Torchwood, one packing a familiar status quo but with revitalising new elements in the form of the team’s latest recruits, and the fresh, unstable dynamic between protagonists old and new ensuring that both the standalone and arc-orientated instalments compel. If Goss and company could work to justify Kai Owen and Tom Price’s top billings as Rhys and Andy – neither of whom get much in the way of dramatic meat until “Superiority” – next time around, and develop the elusive Ro-Jedda as a multi-dimensional antagonist for Jack et al to battle, then Part 2 could take the show to Children of Earth-rivalling heights once more, but for now, the show’s well and truly back on form, and long may it reign as such at Big Finish. http://reviews.doctorwhonews.net/2017/08/torchwood_aliens_among_us_part_1.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[beautifulrzilience]

Sirena del Sol: Rising above the Murky Waters

'Cause this is roll call I'm taking names out We only go raw I'm takin' aim now And when it's roll call They know my name now I make them all fall I'm 'bouta break out

-Ruby Ibarra, “Taking Names”

Wassssss goood errbodyy???? It’s yo girl Andrea back up in this thang! I know, I know, I’m doing the most, but if you knew the kind of week I had, you can’t blame a girl for trying to cheer herself up.

So I just finished my official week back in school and my second week back in the big bad streets of NYC, Harlem you feel me? And man, going from spending time with my partner, Lalo, and my amazing homies (shout out to my CC Krew, Drs. Kenly Brown, Sara Rios, & Alex Garcia, Diana Barajas, Adrian Chavez, Noe Marin, Jacky Fuentes, Valeska Castaneda, David Flores, and my high school Bubble Crew!) to going to staring at the 4 opaque walls of my studio apartment--during WINTER in NY--needless to say, is quite depressing.

(My best friends: Megan X. Espinoza, Mary Giovanetti, Napoleon Davila and I doing some hike in San Francisco, CA 2018)

Now don’t get me wrong, I love me some me time and my solitude, but this week, going through the mundane routine of going from my studio--to the library to do my PhD work-- to school-- and head back home late at night--only to do it all over again Monday through Thursday, with no real human contact or touch--gets depressing quick. 

I had promised myself that this semester I was going to focus on three things: myself, my relationship with my partner, and grind hard in school so that I can get back to my life in Cali A.S.A.P. I know that I also wanted to make sure to not feel alone or isolated, so I had even printed out lots of photos of my family and friends and activist artwork to post up on my desk, so that I could be reminded of who, what, and why I’m doing this whole shit for. I had bought some “self-help” and inspiring memoirs of authors and artists I admire and was curious about. I even bought myself new crystals, stones, and pendants to protect myself from any and all negative energy. 

But let me tell you something--despite my new stones, new war paint (i.e. make up), and rebozo, it was not enough for me. 

And I’m sure a lot of Students of Color--especially graduate students of color-- in predominantly white and conservative departments and universities feel this way-- but damn Gina! This whole art of self-care and self-love is a whole lotta work that doesn’t give you instant gratification.

In case you were wondering what books I bought... here they are:

The Diary of Frida Kahlo

And as the week progressed, every time I stepped near the people I had to be around with at school or look at the amount of work that was ahead of me (low key I’m taking 5 graduate courses this semester, YIKES) my energy and spirit was depleting. I was already in the hunt to find a therapist/psychologist of color (which my God, is a fucking job in and of itself- can we, at a later point, talk about why getting social services is so fucking difficult!?), I was starting to feel quite emotionally clogged. 

I am thankful for the fact that I am part of (what I call) the “Playboy” working group, which is a collective of People of Color who are PhD graduate students at CUNY (City University of New York) that informally meet on Wednesdays at the Graduate Center Library, because it’s the only thing I really look forward to during the week. As I was eating lunch with one of my homies (which I will keep anonymous), I was really touched but also taken aback by his ability to truly see me. I’m not sure whether it was conscious or coincidental (I mean he is a fucking PhD student in Social Work and he’s legit! lol), or if he could feel my energy, but he asked me a simple question, “Yo, you good?” 

With that simple but genuine ask, I could feel my heart sink, and a knot in my throat form. But of course, we’re in this big cafeteria, and another one of our homies was grabbing a plate for food, so I didn’t feel comfortable letting it all out--although, I must admit, my tears were about to start flooding. But I let him know that I just felt isolated and alone. And that although I had some folks here in NY who I know care about me, I just can’t seem to fully connect with them, so I had a lot of feelings of guilt. I don’t want to be or sound like an ungrateful bishhh yaddamean? But I just kind of finally said it out loud. He gave me some encouraging words of support and later text me this response to a text I had sent him later that day:

The context of this text made me feel better. And I think the key thing that I took not only of his message, but of this week, was that just like friends come and go in seasons, so do the emotions that transpire throughout your journey. As the week progressed, I found out that the Graduate Center offers 4-14 free counseling sessions and then do the legwork to refer you out. So you know yo girl signed up for intake and should be hearing back from them this upcoming week to begin my journey in seeking mental/emotional health support. I am feeling hopeful, but don’t mean you couldn’t catch me crying a bit last night before I went to sleep! Healing is not linear ya’ll, but there is only onwards in terms of where me move. Stay blessed ya’ll. We out here!

SIDE NOTE! Can I say, Creator and Creatress had my back because low and behold, one of my former mentees/students/homies from California that I had met in Berkeley, came to surprise visit me with his girl (also a good friend of mine) this weekend. Just being in their presence hella uplifted my spirits and for that I am extremely grateful. Hoping that shit carries me strong through this upcoming week! Ometeotl!

Me, Jesse a.k.a “Introspect,” and his beautiful partner Veronica at Red Roosters in Black Harlem, 2018.

[thisishowyouletgoandfindyou-blog]

PARENTS

07/01/2014 03:07 pm ET | Updated Feb 23, 2016Why Women Need Their Girlfriends

By Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis

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89k

Years ago, I was at the beach with my family when I noticed a group of ladies nearby who appeared to be in their 50s.

With a quick glance, I knew they were on a girls’ weekend. All the signs were there — coolers and cocktails, beach bags with romance novels, straw hats, umbrellas in the sand — but most telling of all was their laughter. Lots and lots of laughter, the kind that draws attention and curiosity from anyone in earshot.

I loved watching these women enjoy each other’s company. Although they were older than me, and well past my season of life in having babies, I could imagine being in their shoes one day, basking in the glow of old friends who still made me feel young again.

That afternoon, I saw two of them in the elevator. When I commented on how much fun they seemed to have, they smiled and nodded. One replied, “Oh, we do have fun. We’ve kept this beach trip going for 20 years and have been through everything — divorce, death, cancer, unemployment. Don’t ever lose touch with your girlfriends, sweetheart. The older you get, the more you’ll need them.”

The conversation left an impression on me. While I’d always treasured my girlfriends, I’d never thought about needing them more with age. And if I’m being honest, it’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve taken their words to heart.

Because now that I’m in my 40s, I’m seeing how real divorce, death, cancer, unemployment and other major life problems are. I understand what they meant when they emphasized the importance of girlfriends, as my age group faces hardships we couldn’t imagine when we were young and carefree.

Last February, I found the advice these women gave me really validated when my dear friend Emily, whom I met when our daughters became friends, lost her husband Joe in a plane crash. Emily and Joe weren’t just any couple — they were the couple who had been best friends since age 15, whose incredible love story was still going strong. What they had was special. To have it end early and suddenly was unfathomable, unfair and hard to comprehend.

Joe’s death impacted a lot of people hard, and throughout their home there was so much sadness and grieving, so many heavy hearts in one place. In the midst of this tragedy, however, there was also so much LOVE. You could feel the Holy Spirit everywhere, working in Emily and the people surrounding her.

As I left Emily’s house the day after Joe’s death, I sat in my car and reflected on everything I’d witnessed. One thing I kept thinking about were the women in Emily’s life, and how amazing they’d been. It wasn’t just the food being carted in, the affection showered on the family, or the fact that so many people had dropped everything to drive or fly to Birmingham. It was the way Emily’s village came together, how friends from every stage of life were represented (adolescence, college, law school, work and motherhood) and how well everyone knew her.

And because they knew her well, they could do a lot to lighten Emily’s load.

When I arrived at Emily’s house the morning after Joe’s death, for instance, someone asked if I’d write his obituary. I agreed, of course, and was given the names of surviving family members to start with. Since Emily was meeting with her pastor about the funeral, I began the obituary with the help of four friends who’d known Emily and Joe for decades. My intention was to write a rough draft and let Emily fill in the blanks.

But guess what? Emily didn’t have to fill in blanks, because her old friends filled in the blanks for her. Together they recalled pertinent details of Joe’s life: the special dates he planned with his daughters, how he graduated first in his law school class, which law firms he’d worked with, his role as basketball commissioner, his love for their church mission trip to Maine — the list goes on.

As they talked and I typed, I found myself wondering: How many people have friends who could write their husband’s obituary? What does that say about Emily and her relationships?

All over Emily’s house, huddles of women were taking care of business. As I passed a group from her church, I heard them planning the visitation and family luncheon before the funeral. “Emily wouldn’t like that, but she would like this,” they said. “Why don’t we give her option A and option B?” When Emily emerged from her meeting with the pastor an hour later, the legwork was done. She was given an obituary to proofread, options for Saturday and updates from friends handling small matters so Emily could reserve energy for big ones.

Our girlfriends can’t save us, for only God can do that, but girlfriends can help make a tragedy bearable. They can read our mind and our emotions, intuitively recognize what needs to be done — then do it. They can listen, empathize and show compassion. They can be used by God to comfort us and provide a timely shoulder to cry on.

It’s hard to nurture friendships when you’re busy raising kids. Some days, I don’t have the time or energy. But one thing I’ve learned from watching Emily cope with her loss is how having strong relationships in place before a tragedy occurs enables the healing process. While faith keeps you standing, friends and family hold your hand as you slowly move forward. They help you find a new normal.

They meet you for yoga, bring Starbucks to your home, take your kids for ice cream, plan a girls’ beach trip for your Mother’s Day, get your dog groomed, text words of encouragement, continue coming to town to check on you and show love in a million heartfelt ways.

“Don’t ever lose touch with your girlfriends, sweetheart. The older you get, the more you’ll need them.” The women in the elevator that day were spot on. And now when I see a group like them having fun, I realize the laughter is only part of the story, what comes after the complicated grown-up stuff. And while we certainly need the wonderful men in our lives, for they play a crucial role, too, men simply aren’t designed to understand us like one of our own.

Sometimes it takes another woman to intuitively recognize what needs to be done — then do it. Or to sense what needs to be said — then say it. Or to take the thoughts and emotions we don’t voice — and know what to make of them.

Having great friends is largely a matter of being a great friend. The reason Emily’s circle is so strong is that she invests in her people. And in her greatest time of need, she reaped the benefit. I hope this story comes as a friendly reminder of why girlfriends matter in good times and bad, laughter and tears, and through the highs and lows that reveal who’s with us for the long haul, and who’s willing to share in our suffering so that one day, when we’re laughing again on the beach, there will be a history that makes the laughter sound richer and stirs the curiosity of anyone in earshot.

This post originally appeared on karikampakis.com. Find Kari on Facebook or check out her upcoming book, 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know, to be released by Thomas Nelson in November 2014.

Follow Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis on Twitter: www.twitter.com/KariKampakis

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