#uoᴉʇɔɐ puɐ IC !!

[jokersmild]

  All around the city, carols were being sung, presents were being exchanged, and cookies suitable for all sorts of diets were being hungrily scarfed down. Someone was eating a fruitcake, too, the freak. In various malls and outside more than one shop, Santa was peddling for cash, or inviting kids to sit on his lap, giving away presents and laughing ceaselessly dressed in red.

  The Joker and Harley were doing some of the same - at least the eating cookies, laughing ceaselessly, and wearing red. 

  Perhaps you heard it on the news, read it on a news update on your phone, or maybe you even saw it in person. A pale, portly man dressed like Santa was strung up outside a Christmas-themed seasonal store. Hung above the door by his hands like some sort of glorified ornament, with a wide smile carved from ear to ear and eyes open wide in what was likely intended to be glee, though was obviously fear. His face was painted white, fake beard pulled down below his chin to properly display the clowny makeover he’d received. Painted on the wall behind him in red (blood, or paint, the detail hasn’t yet been released, though it’s safe to assume blood from the sheer amount splattered across the scene), are a few words spaced and angled to resemble a smiley face just above the body.

                       HA HA HA! HAPPY HOLIDAYS,                          AND A CLOWNY NEW YEAR !

For clarification, Harley and Joker just murdered Christmas. Sorry kids, but it’s cancelled for the rest of the day. The body was found in the morning, just after sunrise, but the official news and statements weren’t released until the afternoon.

NPCS across the city are investigating the crime, but the Clown Royalty made sure not to leave any evidence behind. So they can enjoy the holidays together without being separated by good ol’ iron bars.

If your muse is familiar with the level of brutality these two are capable of, and either has a death wish or is willing and able to throw hands, feel free to approach either myself and/or @harliquinn about confrontation threads !

That said, if your muse isn’t aware of just how Nasty these clowns can be, please don’t use OOC knowledge to connect the dots! As far as I’m aware, our Harley has been pretty well behaved over her stay, and the Joker hasn’t done anything severe enough to be on the news, or been ratted out by anyone.

[jokersmild]

  @harliquinn is in for a treat !!

  Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he knew that he had been here for months. That he had made this city into the beginnings of a home via careful machinations and pieces set into place for later usage. Yet, as he sat in his room smoking his sixth cigarette of the hour, Arthur Fleck knew that this was not his home. It was someone else’s. The TV was on, the screen far too flat to seem workable, yet the comedy playing was certainly visible and audible. His eyes only slightly focused on the screen, as his mind wandered further from that smoke-filled room back to the city he knew and loved. How had he truly ended up here?

  His gaze snapped immediately to the cigarette between his fingers as the embers began to singe the butt, making it uncomfortably hot to the touch. Arthur didn’t stop it immediately, instead letting the heat sting his fingers before dropping it on the dish he’d begun using as a makeshift ash tray. A few beats later, he reached for the box and lit another, taking a long, slow drag. He should get out there… see the sights. There was a disappointing lack of rioting that only a man of his caliber could solve, after all. But all he had was this fake gun and a head full of ideas. The riots would have to wait - for the time being, he simply turned up the volume on the TV and leaned back on the couch, jacket and vest draped over the arm of the couch opposite him, dress shirt unbuttoned well past his chest. He may as well get comfortable in what was apparently his home.

[jokersmild]

  “I’d better not hear any slander against clowns this holiday season. I’m in a good mood, but that could change.”

[jokersmild]

@harliquinn​ deserves a great day !!

  “Hey, punkin’, hear me out.” He sidles over to her on the couch, leaning on the back with his elbow just beside her cute head. The Joker’s smile is as bright and friendly as ever when he’s in a good mood, which can only mean that he’s up to something.

  “I missed Valentine’s Day, and I’m really sorry about that. I don’t know if you’re in the mood to call it a date exactly, but I do have some fun plans. See, I... happened across some money, and I was just thinking that you deserve a night out on the town.” He leans forward further, dangling his arms over the back of the couch, one hand raised toward her, palm up in offering. “Whaddya say, Harls? How about I take my favorite lady ever on a shopping spree? I even found a guy to carry your bags.”

[jokersmild]

@devespertilio​, it just hasn’t been the same without you !!

He dangles, giggling intermittently as the blood begins rushing to his head. His hair is a mess, more than usual, and the adrenaline of the trap is fading, though the high of being near him is more than enough to keep the Joker on edge.

  “You know I ran into this on purpose, right?” He’s all smiles as he hangs upside down, legs bound by some manner of fancy cord or rope, arms loosely swinging below his head. “Not your best work, Bats. Veeeery sloppy. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you set this one up while you were tired - or it was one of the little ones. Maybe a cop you’re training? Another Robin... it’s about time for us to have another kid, isn’t it?” There’s a pause in his teasing for another giggle, and he reaches up just enough to scratch his face. A motion to test him - how on edge is he tonight? “Say, I’ve been looking all over for you, Batsy. Have you been avoiding me? You’re the worst boyfriend ever for missing Valentine’s Day. You owe me, and the only thing that’s gonna fix this broken heart is a smooch. C’mon, I’ll even take a quick one. Don’t leave me hanging !!”

[jokersmild]

@kryptonizes​ stepped onto the stage !!

  Well... Beans.

  He sighs theatrically, running a hand through his hair before lifting them above his head. A show, of course. Anyone who knows the Joker knows that he doesn’t need his hands for things to go his way - and Superman certainly knows the Joker. “Aw, shucks, Supes. Had I known you were gonna be here, I would’ve brought you a present.” And here is in a bank, halfway to robbed with three dead tellers and a pair of hostages - by the smell of which aren’t in such a great place, emotionally. Really all he has left to do is grab the money and go, and naturally Superman of all people had to show up. “Gotta say... and no offense here, I would kill for you to call up Bats. I mean, if a big, strong man is gonna manhandle me, I’d rather it be him.” Promptly, his hands lower in favor of clapping as he remembers something important. “Say, how’s Jonny boy? Does he still have that bunny I gave him? Tell him Uncle Joker said hello, would you? Kid loves me.”

[jokersmild]

@harliquinn, there’s no time to waste !

  “Harley!!! Get in the car, there’s a limited edition sour sorbet by my favorite ice cream brand and we need to get some before they sell out!”

[jokersmild]

  “Good and evil. Right and wrong. Black and white. Stripes and polka dots. Blah, blah, blah! Who cares? I’m only interested in the madness of chaos.”

[jokersmild]

        @twilightgifted​, can you hear those slay bells jingling ?

  “Aren’t you just the cutest thing !” He coos affectionately, resisting the temptation to pinch the little girl’s cheeks. “Say, I could use a helper like you. I’m looking for a good present for my girl, and you look like you have pretty similar tastes. Whaddya say ?  If you help me out, I’ll get you some uh... coffee or whatever it is the kids these days like.”

[jokersmild]

it’s @redwinging’s lucky day !!

  The Joker was no super-powered human radar, but he knew well enough when he was being tailed. After a few minutes of walking in what was essentially a circle just to confirm, he loosed a heavy sigh.

  “Not another one...” First Robin, then another Robin, and now this. “Look, you may as well just come out and kick my ass now. Batsy isn’t here, so I don’t have my usual gusto for babysitting. I’m guessing you are one of his legion of brats, otherwise this is just gonna be plain awkward.” In truth, he hadn’t seen whoever had been following him, but given that he hadn’t heard any puddles splashing, he assumed he was being followed via rooftops, which was so very Gotham hero of his new fan. “Unless you are dear old Bats, but if you were, I wouldn’t have had this much time to talk.” Oh, how he missed Batman... the Joker would do just about anything at this point to be reunited with his one true love.

[jokersmild]

‘ road work ahead? uh, yeah, i sure hope it does! ’

HAVE A LAUGH !!

  “Oh don’t you worry…” His voice is near whispered, yet strained at the same time. Far too many teeth are visible in his smile, and the breath tickling the Archivist’s neck carries the faint scent of sweets. “It’ll work. I made sure of it.”

[jokersmild]

‘ what up? i’m Jon, i’m ten, and i never heckin’ learned how to read. ’

HAVE A LAUGH !!

  “That’s perfectly fine, Jon. You don’t need to read little old this anyway.” It certainly isn’t labelled HIGHLY TOXIC or EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE or anything silly like that! Don’t you worry your precious little head over it.

[jokersmild]

@harliquinn deserves only the happiest of birthdays !

  July 20th. The Joker couldn’t help feeling like he was forgetting something. Like there was a little voice in his head, distant and comically high pitched saying ‘The Joker, you’re forgetting something!’ 

  Cut it out, we don’t sound like that. And you know exactly what it is we forgot, you just don’t want to remember. She brought it up not that long ago, you know.

  The Clown Prince of Crime sighed so heavily his chest heaved with great effort. Long limbs stretched out on the couch he preferred over the bed, arms tucked behind messy green locks. Yes, alright, he knew what today was. But why should he care? She’d forgotten that he even existed, why couldn’t he forget something as childish and pointless as her birthday?

  Because she’s our wife, Joker.

  His eyes narrowed, green growing near black in frustration. Who let this guy out of his box, anyway? The last time he’d been an issue was when the Joker took all those pills, and the clown simply couldn’t be rid of him ever since. Jack Napier. The man he once was, the man who’d died in a tragic chemical accident. Only he hadn’t died, so much as become something unrecognizably different. She wasn’t their wife, the Joker corrected Jack, she was his wife. The Joker was the one who’d said the vows, not Jack. A fact he so loved to rub in Jack’s face whenever he got sassy. The sinking feeling was enough to drag him back down to the unreachable depths he tended to stay in. But this time, it wouldn’t be so easy.

  You owe me. Just... give me three hours. Please? You were only about to sleep anyway. 

  Another heavy sigh and the Joker was sitting up fully, an intense frown pulling down painted red lips. Fine. Three hours. You’d better hope she’s home in time, because you know the rule.

  No extensions. I know.

  About 20 minutes later, he’d covered himself to the best of his ability with a more natural skin tone, prepared to spend extra time in his box for using the Joker’s things without permission, but it would be worth it to see the look on Harley’s face. He just hoped she wouldn’t be upset to see him... after the way they’d said goodbye. Jack frowned softly, exhaling disappointment as he tied an apron around his waist. The makeup was one thing, but he didn’t want to ruin one of the Joker’s suits, after all.

  With one ninth of his time gone, Jack had to make the rest count. He’d used their phone to text Harley a simple message: [ I’m making dinner tonight. ] Jack had wanted to say so much more, but it’d be best not to do anything rash... Harley wasn’t interested in being near the Joker, and Jack didn’t blame her - he would feel the same way if he weren’t existing like a passenger in his own body. After the text, the former comedian went to the kitchen, setting up everything he needed to make her favorite meal. It would take a while to cook, but he didn’t mind - it was a labor of love for the woman he loved more than anything.

  When he’d finished, Jack admired his hard work with a gentle, proud smile. Everything was perfect, from the candlelit dinner table, to his more natural looking skin tone and more refined look, to the garbage plate itself. Violet eyes sparkled with anticipation and joy - all that was left was hoping and praying hard enough that Harley would come home in time to see it, and him. But if she didn’t... he’d written a note and tucked it under her pillow. Just in case. 

[jokersmild]

        @sinfoniette, can you hear those slay bells jingling ?

  “You must be thinking to yourself, ‘Joker, what are you doing ?  Snowballs are for babies !’ but rest assured, my dear...” He stands with a devilish grin, snowball in gloved hand, the other raising an index finger to red lips. “This isn’t just a snowball. What do you think - who out here in this lovely crowd deserves such a fun surprise ?”

[jokersmild]

        @harliquinn​​, did you miss me ? of course you did , what a silly question !

  As soon as he awoke, the Joker had one goal in mind. Eyes locked on his phone - on one name in particular - for the entire ride off the arrival platform. He didn’t follow the rules, however. No, the Joker held his gun to the driver’s head, ensuring he would be dropped off at one building in particular. 150. He didn’t tip, or knock, and he certainly didn’t call or text ahead of time. The door wasn’t locked, and as soon as he entered, he saw her. His departure had been sudden in a sense, and anticipated in another, but in no way had it been desired. The Joker had everything he needed here in this city, after all, and so little of it back in Gotham. His time spent away reminded him of that, and it was that very same reminder that urged him forward.

  There was no warning, aside from perhaps the almost warm smile on his face or the urgency in his step. He didn’t even care that he’d slammed the door behind him in his haste, nor did he particularly care what she wanted in the moment. When the Joker took her petite frame in his embrace and pulled Harley Quinn close, all he could think of was how well she fit pressed against him. He leaned in, curling into her to compensate the height difference as his lips found hers. His head was as much a raging tempest as ever, but Harley was his lighthouse. His little slice of heaven. His hidden blade in a prison cell. One thing he knew for certain, after spending so much time away from her and feeling the doubt that he wasn’t needed in her life sink its pesky tendrils into his thoughts, the Joker felt at his most right near her.

  Difficult as it was, he forced himself to separate from her, lest she again attempt to kill him for invading her space while she was in a bad mood. His arms remained firmly wrapped around her, though not so tightly she couldn’t wiggle free if she wanted, and he couldn’t quite bring himself to stand at his full height. Couldn’t quite bear to look away from ocean blue eyes.  He couldn’t dream of holding back the smile he knew he wore, a mixture of adoration and joy. “Daddy’s home.”

[jokersmild]

  “Ah, love… it’s a tricky thing, you know. Personally, I’m full of love. The love of violence, of fire, of screams piercing the night… I especially love Batman, though. If you’re listening, Batsy, call me!”