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myfictionaldreams · 1 year ago

Note

Slides in with a bucky request!

Can you do a possoves bucky? Like someone flirts with her and that leads to an argument that leads to to feelings coming out with marking dirty talk and rough sex? Pretty please

Always Watching // Bucky x Fem!Reader

Requested by: hey bestie, thanks for the request!

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, angst, possessive behaviour, obsession, jealousy, threats of violence, enemies to lovers, pining, unwanted attention, flirting, sexual harassment, arguing, rough kissing, biting, marking, scratching, rough sex, dirty talk, praise kink, overstimulation, light dom/sub, hair pulling, oral (f receiving), size kink

Words: 6.3k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

The word used to describe your relationship with Bucky Barnes was ‘strained’. Strained because you’d prefer it if it were at least adequate, and no one could fault you for the attempts made at becoming his friend and helping him with the transition from the Winter Soldier to a member of the Avengers. In truth, you’d tried more than most to help him, especially as he was still at risk of being compromised and shifting back to the assassin’s mindset. You prided yourself on your compassion and empathy, always providing physical and mental support to Bucky, asking how he was, helping him move into the Avengers tower and adjust to going on missions.

Except, somewhere along the way, it had become evident that from at least Bucky’s perspective, you were a person to keep at arm’s length. Your questions would be ignored, and your attempts to help in medical situations would be pushed away. The only responses you’d receive were belittling comments or fierce glares that would have you backing away from the man and shutting your mouth. Even when you kept to yourself, his eyes always seemed to follow you around the room, eyes burning with what you assumed to be hatred, like he was plotting all the ways to eradicate you.

For some unknown reason, Bucky Barnes seemed to hate you, and you had no idea what you’d done to offend him. The other Avengers and agents you called your friends had all implored that he didn’t hate you, but when you stated the experience you’d received from the long-haired man, there was no response but an awkward close-lipped smile and shrug of the shoulders.

This treatment had been going on for months now, avoidance, glare and comments under his breath, and you were slowly getting to the end of your rope. Even earlier in the day, he somehow managed to get under your skin with only one sentence.

“Are you really going out in that dress?”

At first, you’d been embarrassed and somewhat mortified by his comment, wishing to cover up the beautiful dress that Natasha had helped you to pick that emphasised your body shape and the perfect colour to compliment your skin tone. Soon, the embarrassment changed to anger, finding the comment rude and unnecessary. Who was he to say what it was that you wore? Especially tonight, everyone had returned from a difficult mission and decided it was about time the team let their hair down and went to a nightclub for drinks.

Other than the comment, the rest of your night was amazing. You were feeling a light buzz from the alcohol and danced so much that your calves were beginning to burn from standing in the heels borrowed from Natasha. Even as you became lost in the music and masses of people squeezed into the club, you were still hyper-aware of the man watching you from where he was leaning against the wall.

“Does he even blink?” you shouted, attempting to be over the pounding bass to the red-haired woman you were dancing with.

Natasha tipped her head back and laughed, glancing over her shoulder a second later to assess the man who seemed to be staring at you constantly. Bucky didn’t even have the gall to look away in embarrassment, having been caught staring and that only made Nat’s smile widen as she turned back to you with a twinkle now in her eyes.

“You know why he’s staring”, she says matter of factly, swaying her hips as she talks into your ear.

Your eyes roll so hard that you have a momentary headache. “He does not have a crush on me. Can you please stop saying that? The man clearly hates me! I feel like my skin is burning from his stare, like he wishes me to combust spontaneously.”

After the tight-lipped smiles from your friends, they would often tease that maybe he was being so mean and hateful because he had a crush on you. You’d laughed initially, and some small part of you was hopeful that this was the case, but the more he belittled, embarrassed and ignored you, the more evident that was not the case.

“Maybe he’s just admiring the dress that I know he loves”, Natasha shouts confidently, grabbing your hand and twirling you around in an attempt to show off your outfit.

Despite her ridiculous statement, you laughed, “Well, he has an interesting way of admiring it! I’m going to go and get another drink. Do you need one?”

Natasha shook her head and held up her beer bottle, which was still over half full. Giving her one last smile, you made your way through the sweaty, head bobbing with the music until you finally found a free area at the bar, which was busy enough that you knew it would be a while before being served.

Someone pressed against your arm as a new person also had similar ideas to you, leaning on the bar and trying to get the staff’s attention with a click of his fingers. You took a deep breath to try and refrain from rolling your eyes at the arrogance of the man next to you, who was leaning on his forearm on the bar side.

“What are you having?” he shouted confidently with a grin, and it took you a good minute to realise he was talking to you.

“Oh, no, it’s ok. I’m getting my own drink; I’m sure it won’t take long”, you politely decline, turning your body away from him for a moment, hoping to catch the eye of the bar staff so you didn’t have to stay there any more with the guy next to you.

“Nonsense, pretty girl like you shouldn’t be buying your own drink. Come on, let me buy you a drink. I’m Chad, by the way”, he responds whilst sticking his hand out for you to shake. You stare at the hand before shaking it with a limp wrist, wanting to show that you aren’t enthusiastic about the conversation.

“Nice to meet you, Chad. I appreciate the offer, but I’m really fine buying my drink”. You pull your hand out of his grasp and try to take a step away, but there are so many people at the bar that there’s nowhere to go. Chad only moved closer, ignoring your discomfort as he leaned his face towards yours.

“Don’t be like that, Baby, it’s just a drink. Your dress is beautiful, by the way, it really makes your…eyes pop” As he spoke, he was not looking at your eyes as you crossed your arms to cover your chest. “Are you here alone? Maybe we can grab a drink and go somewhere beautiful; I’d love to get to know you on a more personal level”, Chad asked, lifting his fingers to stroke the apples of your cheeks.

“She’s not alone, and get your fucking hands off of her”, came an aggressive voice from behind as a warm chest brushed against your back.

Bucky pushed against Chad’s shoulder, giving him enough space to stand between the two of you, so now you’re staring at his back as he protectively became a shield for you.

“Hey man, what the fuck’s your problem! Who do you think you are, touching me like that?!” Chad shouted loudly enough that others began to turn and stare at the scene.

You could feel the thickness of the atmosphere, and there was nothing more you wanted to do than de-escalate the situation, not wanting Bucky to get into any further trouble as he was already being watched like a hawk by Shield.

“Bucky, please stop; everyone's staring!” you tried to pull on his arm, but he stayed completely still, ignoring you as he stared daggers at Chad.

The man looked between you and Bucky before settling on you and pointing at Bucky, “Is this guy bothering you? Listen, asshole, she clearly doesn’t want to be with you; otherwise, she wouldn’t have been out here buying her own drink, now would she? Why don’t you get lost so the pretty girl and I can get back to getting to know each other?” Chad smirked cockily.

This only made Bucky tense further, his posture straightening as he took a threatening step forward, and Chad flinched. Bucky’s gloved hands clenched at his side as you quickly did a visual check to see if he had any weapons, but you couldn’t see any in the suit jacket and jeans; you were sure he probably had them hidden up his sleeve.

Bucky took another step forward, nostrils flaring as anger radiated off of him in waves of heat, and genuine fear pooled in your stomach with how the situation escalated as you tried to push him away from Chad.

“If you ever touch her again, I promise you, I will fucking ruin your life. No, you know what, scratch that. If you so much as look at what’s mine again, there’s nowhere on this planet that you can hide; I will find you and end anything you find precious, including your life. Do you understand me?” Bucky asked, his tone surprisingly calm for promising such life-ending threats.

“What's going on here?” another voice joined the conversation as Steve and Tony appeared at your side, pushing the growing crowds back to give everyone space. You would have been thankful for their arrival had you not been staring open-mouthed up at Bucky. Not only was he threatening to kill someone for you, but you didn’t miss the possessiveness in his words and actions, and the biggest question screaming in your mind right now was what he meant by saying ‘what’s his’. Surely he didn’t mean you? Everything was becoming far more complicated than you’d anticipated.

“Is he compromised?” Tony asked in a hushed tone to you as he wrapped a hand around your upper arm, prepared to pull you away from the scene if needed.

Bucky’s eyes snapped to the hand on your arm, the glare moving to Tony’s face as the billionaire changed his stance to one like he was preparing for a fight. Your heart nearly stopped, everything becoming too overwhelming and escalating to a level that no one would be coming down from if it wasn’t stopped soon.

“No! Tony, he’s not compromised; he’s fine. There was just a misunderstanding-”

“A misunderstanding? Is that really what you are calling this situation?” Bucky demands, staring down at you whilst moving out of reach of Steve’s outreached hand.

“Bucky-” you try to reason with him, but you notice that his eyes have gone in the direction Chad seemed to disappear from. He was moving before you could even stop him, following wherever the guy had escaped. Quickly looking up at the confused Tony and Steve, you tried to reassure them whilst beginning to follow after Bucky. “Everything is fine! I’m just going to make sure he’s ok”.

You mostly needed answers than anything, feeling completely and utterly sober now and not wishing to return to the dance floor. As well as making sure that Bucky wasn’t going through with any of his threats.

You were going from being within a stuffy nightclub full of alcohol and dancing people with not enough room to move and music so loud that your voice had to strain to be able to be heard by others. To now, you’re rushing out of the entrance, out into the open air that was considerably colder, added to the fact that the heavens had opened and the rain was pouring enough that it was hard to see more than a few feet in front of you.

Any sane person would have turned right back around and reentered the club just to have some cover, but your adrenaline was pumping, and after a few seconds outside, you were already drenched, so there was no point trying to find the jacket you’d left in the cloakroom.

You follow in the direction Bucky had stormed off, trying to weave through the people running through the rain and past the busy New York traffic. “Bucky!” You called out for him while wrapping your arms around your chest, trying to keep some of the warmth you’d found in the club, but the more you were out in the open, the more the rain wholly soaked your body, drawing the freezing temperatures into your bones.

You stare at his back as he continues to walk with a purpose; you aren’t even sure if he’s following Chad anymore or just needs some air. You try your hardest to keep up, even with the struggle of the slippy wet floor and your ridiculous choice of heels burning your calves enough that you contemplated risking the sanity of the bottom of your feet by taking them off.

“Please, just wait, Bucky!” you shout to the man in front, who, of course, doesn’t slow down. You were at your wit's end, cold and drenched from the rain, confused by Bucky’s reaction in the club, not just from Chad but also the look from Tony grabbing your arm. There was clearly something more going on, and him running away, potentially on the warpath, was only making your anxiety increase to the point of wanting to scream.

Distracted with your rolling emotions, you hadn’t noticed that you were no longer following anyone as the street in front of you only had the occasional couple walking past with umbrellas over their heads.

You’d somehow lost Bucky.

“Shit!” you curse to the sky, letting the rain pour down over your face, unsure of what to do. You could return to the club, but you were now much closer to the tower than you were to the club and at least back at the tower, you could use Jarvis to assist with trying to track and find Bucky.

Before you could follow through with your decision, a gloved hand wrapped around your upper arm, pulling you quickly into an alleyway that had some shelter above your head, protecting you from the rain. Just as your mouth opened to scream and combat training reflexes moved to punch whoever had grabbed you, the movements were halted as you became face-to-face with a very pissed-off Bucky Barnes.

All air rushed from your lungs as you were forcefully pushed up against a wall as Bucky leaned his metal arm beside your head, leaning over you. Even though his blue eyes were burning with more intensity than you’d ever seen before, you still sighed in relief that he hadn’t rushed off somewhere, but now you just had to deal with the confrontation you were hoping for.

“Go back to the party”, he demands in a voice so low that you almost coward from him. Still, instead, you held your ground, pushing off the wall, expecting him to move back in a show of confidence, but he remained hovering close enough that it only meant that there were a few inches between your faces.

In the shadows of the alleyway, he looked threatening, especially with his bulky silhouette, but for some reason, he looked somewhat like a fallen angel. The fierceness in his swirling ocean blue eyes that devoured you completely, the height and strength that was trained through every single inch of muscle throughout his body, even his shoulder-length hair left unbound and dripping from the rain, gave him a mysterious look. It was nearly enough to distract you from the events that had taken place. Nearly.

“What? No! I’m not going back to the party. What even happened back there?”, you demanded, trying to remain as confident as you’d felt when leaving the club and not letting the adrenaline altogether go from your system.

Bucky looks away, towards the end of the alleyway in thought before finally muttering, “It was nothing”.

You scoff, “It wasn’t nothing! You threatened to kill the guy in there, Bucky! And what was all that with Tony? I saw the look you gave him! Oh, and what did you mean by touching what was his?”

To your shock, Bucky smirked, but his gaze was so vibrant when he turned back to look at you that, on instinct, you took the step back again to press against the wall. “I told you not to wear that stupid dress,” he says under his breath, like he is telling you a well-kept secret but is forcing himself to say the words.

You frown, your chest restricting, making it difficult to breathe. “The dress? Why do you hate this dress so much, I can wear whatever the fuck I want, Bucky! Stop trying to change the subject! Everything you do is so confusing. For months, you've acted like me even breathing in the same room as you is an inconvenience and then you’re threatening some asshole guy at the bar and protecting me? What’s that about?”

“Because I knew I’d have to be fighting off dickheads like him all night! That’s why I have an issue with the dress. When men like him take one look at you and assume that they have any right to even talk to you, let alone any of the other fucked up shit he was hoping to get from you”.

His outburst shocked you to the core, leaving you stunned and fumbling to think of any words. “I…I don’t understand where this is all coming from. Wait, aside from Chad, no one is allowed to talk to me? Who do you think you are to decide something like this? Maybe I want a cute guy to buy me a drink!”

“You’re naive if you think guys will only want to buy you a drink and nothing more”.

Your face heats uncontrollably at his words, hating the condescension lacing his words. “Don’t talk to me like that! Maybe that’s just what I want anyway. Someone nice to buy me a drink and treat me with kindness that clearly you won’t give me! So how dare you try to dictate my life by saying what I wear means you’ll have to be my knight in shining armour! You don’t have to do anything for me, these past few months have clearly shown you don’t give a shit about me so why care so much what people do to me?”

“You don’t understand”, he seeths through gritted teeth.

You want to scream in frustration from the lack of answers, letting all the energy form in your arms and hands as you pushed on his chest, needing some space between both of your bodies, but he was built of stone as he didn’t move at all.

“Then explain!” you shout in frustration, the heat and adrenaline returning to your veins. “Because I’m losing my fucking mind right now! Why do you act like you hate me one minute and save me another whilst acting like you have any sort of say as to what I wear and who touches or looks at me?”

“Because he touched what’s mine!” Bucky bellows, his face dropping close to yours as a vein bulges on his temple. “Call it jealousy, call is possessive, I don’t fucking care. Do you know how hard it is to see you in the line of fire at work and then come out to places like this and watch every guy and woman in this place have their eyes all over your body, wishing that they could have you? And then watching that asshole Chad come and talk to you, giving you those compliments and then having the nerve to touch you? He was a dead man walking”.

Your mouth opens and closes, feeling like you are having an out-of-body experience. “But… but you hate me”, you say, sounding as defeated as you felt.

Bucky scoffs again with less anger this time, the tone of his voice calming slightly as he leans closer, crowding you in his warmth. “I don’t have you, sweetheart, but I’m so fucked up in here”, he points to his head, “I can’t risk being near you”.

“Bucky-”

“Just go back to the party. I’ll call you a cab; just don’t follow me.”.

A lump forms in your throat. There’s no way you’re leaving him to go back to the club, and just as you’re about to tell him that, he’s suddenly dipping his head and cheek against yours so that he can whisper into your ear. “Just know that even though I’m not there, I’ll know if someone is looking at you. Your body is for my eyes only, so if anyone approaches, they’re dead”.

The breath hitches in your throat as your fingers clench, and you remember that they’re still resting on Bucky’s chest as you grip his shirt tightly. The warmth against your face retreats as he attempts to move back, and it is out of instinct that you glance towards his lips. You’ve never experienced anyone becoming possessive over you before. It should have had you running in the opposite direction, but your feet remained planted in that same spot, leaning towards the protective force in front of you.

Bucky then surprises you as you watch his frowning lips shift into a knowing smirk, laughing under his breath which causes a pulse of attraction through your cunt. “Oh Doll, you’re going to need to stop looking at me like that; otherwise, you won’t be returning to that party”.

A surge of confidence rocks through your core as your gaze burns into his intricate, beautiful eyes, “What if I don’t want to go back to the party?”.

You try not to jump away from the gloved hand, now cupping your jaw, tilting your face up towards the covering, shading you both from the continuing thrashing rain. The warmth of his breath skips over your exposed throat as he runs his nose along your skin, causing a shiver to rush down your spine. “You don’t mean that?” his tone had deepened and sounded increasingly strained, as if he was somehow holding himself back.

You weren’t entirely sure what was happening and how everything had changed to such a degree. All you were 100% certain about was that there was no way you would be going back to any party without Bucky.

“I mean it more than you could ever know”, you say with a rush of breath, finding it difficult to hold back the restraint to continue looking up entirely at his mercy simply.

Bucky contemplates your words as his nose drifts lower, and your heartbeat thumps hard in your chest. You are sure that you’ve felt the delicate kiss of his lips against the sensitive skin beneath your ear. “I think you like it when I show you who you belong to”, Bucky states with arrogance and sultry need that equally has your knees weakening.

The pure desire pooling in your underwear was becoming impossible to ignore, like a flame had been lit within your body and was slowly devouring your rational thoughts. A weak moan escapes your lips as your eyes drift close.

“Bucky…” you trail off, beginning to tremble, not from the low temperatures or being soaked through from the rain, but because your arousal had hit you so deeply that he consumed all thoughts.

“Yes?” Bucky asks as he laughs throatily at how you were so easy to succumb to his advances.

“Just fucking kiss me already!”

The pleasure and pain that enveloped your body was something that you’d crave and dream about for months to come. Pain because his lips pushing into yours with such force that your body was pushed back against the brick wall, but the overwhelming pleasure from finally feeling his mouth on yours, the hand gripping your jaw moving to the back of your head to cradle it with gentleness that you were surprised he as even capable of. The urgency didn’t end there, even as you finally received what you both had truly wanted for all of this time. You needed more of him, all of him, every single inch of his body you wanted to feel without the barrier of his clothes.

Bucky’s nose pushed into your cheek as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, both of your mouths opening to allow your tongues to dance and caress one another. You moaned, tasting the mint on his tongue and something that was so uniquely him your mind momentarily lost any coherent thought.

His massive body was pressed against yours so that you were consumed by him completely. Which also meant that you could feel the hardness of his arousal rutting into your stomach as he gently rolled his hips to try and relieve some pent-up frustration.

You were ready to give him everything, right there, in a random alleyway in rainy New York, where anyone could stumble upon the two of you. Thankfully, Bucky still could hold onto some restraint as he put some distance between you.

“As much as I’d love to fuck you in front of everyone, I have the sneaky suspicion that Fury would not be pleased if a member of the Avengers were caught having a quickie out in public”.

In any other situation, you probably would have laughed at the absurdity and realisation as to just how far gone you’d become to actually be ready to lift your dress and let him fuck you. However, you were so caught up in the fact that this was happening and hearing the beautiful man in front of you say that he wanted to fuck you in a public setting only added to the deep desire from his possessive tendency to increase.

Bucky pressed a chastising kiss to your temple as he began to shrug his jacket from his shoulders to then wrap it around yours, and you could have moaned at the warmth and mouthwatering scent of his cologne surrounding you. The man you thought hated you didn’t give you any time to lose your senses as he grabbed your hand and tugged you out of the alleyway and back into the startling freezing rain.

As the Avengers tower was only a couple blocks away, it was easier for the two of you to run in the rain, with his arm wrapped around your shoulders, using his big build to shield you somehow from the wetness, but you were already soaked.

Finally, once in the safety of the private elevator that was only used for residents of the tower, you both were once more consumed with each other. His jacket was pushed to the floor so he could run his gloved hands over your shoulders and back to cradle your face.

Your back was against the elevator wall as he crowded around you, trying to taste every possible area of your mouth. Your leg lifted, hooking around his hips and causing your dress to hitch further up your thigh until it rested around your waist, pulling him closer.

In this position, he was able to thrust his tented jeans against your panties, the rough material catching your clit and causing an obscene moan to echo around the small space. His lips left yours but only so that he could kiss down the side of your neck, causing more mewls and pathetic squeaks to leave your parted mouth.

“I want the whole world to know you’re mine”, he declares as his teeth scrap against the area where your shoulder and neck meet. The same part of you that was throbbing for his possessive tendencies needed him to do whatever he was alluding to. To persuade him to continue, you ran your fingers up his firm chest, scratching up his throat and to the nape of his neck so that you were able to grab a handful of his hair and tug him even closer.

However, arriving at the Avengers’ living quarters interrupted the two of you. Without missing a beat, Bucky's hands lowered to your thighs, picking you up so that your legs were now wrapped around his waist as he supported your weight with his hands on your arse.

Your fingers remained in his hair, pulling his face back to your neck as he began to suck on different areas, marking your skin with darkening, wet patches. The tiny reasoning voice at the back of your mind was warning you that you’d regret those marks tomorrow, but with the want and need to have his lips and teeth all over your body, you couldn’t care less if he was marking you.

Everything about his touch was seering in heat, even though those leather gloves still covered his hands. It was as if you could feel the temperature of his burning skin through the material, and it only made you more desperate to claw at his clothes. Equally, Bucky needed to feel more of your soft skin and learn every inch of your body.

You were only half aware that you’d entered his bedroom because the low lighting had naturally turned on by the building's sensors. It was minimalistic, and for a second, your focus zoned into the sheets and pillow led out on the floor and not on the bed, which was just a bare mattress that he all but dropped you into the centre of.

His lips were on yours again, and you were thoroughly distracted from the makeshift bed on the floor. The sharp sting of his teeth grazing your bottom lift caused you to mewl and pull on his hair, exposing his thick neck that gave you the opening to begin your exploration, licking and teasing until he was shivering and sitting back on his knees.

You admired him momentarily as he seemed to do the same for you. His handsome face was flushed with arousal, the pupils in his eyes so vast that it was almost as if the clear blue didn’t exist anymore. His chest was heaving with steading breaths as he began to pull on each of the fingers of his gloves.

“How expensive is the dress?” he asked, eyeing the cleavage that had been his downfall all night.

“It’s Natasha’s”, you answered breathlessly.

“I’ll buy her a new one”, Bucky mumbles, gripping the edges of the dress and tearing the material into two. You gave a startled scream as you were suddenly left in your underwear, but the shock at being exposed was swiftly distracted by him ripping his shirt directly down the centre so all the buttons popped off, and the material shrugged off his broad shoulders.

Even though this wasn’t the first time you’d seen him without a shirt on, your breath caught in your breath at his beautifully sculptured chest and abs, mouth already watering with the need to lick every inch of him.

“Be a good girl for me, Doll and spread your legs”, he demands with surprising gentleness, still sitting back on his knees and stroking a soft caress against your outer thighs.

A pathetic whimper bursts from your chest at the praise, pussy clenching with need that you didn’t waste a second before opening your legs. Even though you still had your panties on, Bucky's gaze became hungry, as if he was a man on the brink of starving to death as he licked his lip and began to lower his body.

“You don’t understand how long I’ve wanted to do this”, he admits, gripping the edge of your underwear and beginning to drag the material down your legs.

You smile to yourself, straightening yourself in the centre of the bed and getting comfortable as your legs naturally lay across his shoulders as he led stomach first on the bed.

“Jealousy seems to be a great motivator for you”, you tease, but all the smug arrogance is drowned out by the pornographic scream from feeling his tongue taking a long, exaggerated lick from your perineum to your clit. You weren’t sure who was louder between the two of you with the moans as Bucky finally was able to taste the girl he’d been wanting for months and you for having someone actually wanting to give you some form of pleasure.

Every time you made a noise of pure joy or increased in volume, Bucky repeated the action, learning what you loved. Your thighs were nearly suffocating him with how hard they were squeezing around his face, and you knew that he would happily die right there between your legs if that’s what you truly wanted. Then there was the hair you were clenching, probably having ripped out two handfuls as you pulled on his long hair, hoping to have him as close as possible between your legs.

“Fuck Bucky! Who taught you how to do that- AH! I’m so close!” your back was arched, eyes clenched tightly closed as the pleasure was tightening within your core. His tongue lapped with quick flicks, firming the tip to add more pleasure as he pushed it into your dripping pussy. His moans added extra stimulation as you happily came all over his face, trembling and twitching cunt around his lips and tongue.

Just as Bucky was about to add two fingers into your still pulsing hole, you shouldn’t take the wait anymore and begged, “Please just fuck me already, Barnes!”

The Avengers grinned down at you as he began to crawl up your body, nipping each of your breasts with his teeth through your bra as he moved. Your cheeks warmed, seeing the shine over his stubble from your juices that he’d been happily drinking. Your thoughts didn’t remain on this fact for long though as he was kissing you feverishly once more, meaning you could now taste yourself on his lips.

With his mouth thoroughly distracting, you’d not noticed that he’d been unbuckling his belt and shoving his jeans and boxers down his toned thighs. Without waiting until they were entirely removed from his body, he swiped his cock between your folds, coating his length in your liquids.

Your mouth gaped open as the tip of his cock nudged into your entrance, stretching it to a level that you’d not been used to. “Shh, it’s ok, Doll, you can take me”, he promised, with one hand holding your hip steadily and the other against your cheek so he could hold your face still.

He was so deep, impossibly deep. You could feel him everywhere, widening your cunt until you were fluttering around his cock, and he hadn’t even begun fucking you properly yet.

“Nearly there, try and relax for me”, Bucky praises into your ear as your eyes widen, realising that it wasn’t even the entire length of him inside of you yet. Only as he was pushing into your cervix did your head fall back, and you sighed out. “That’s it, you’re taking me so well. Put your arms around my back; you’re going to need to hold onto something”, he boasts as you try and take a deep breath, your fingers reaching around his back, nails digging into the skin to give yourself something to hold onto.

Spreading his knees further apart on the bed, Bucky readjusts his position to gain more momentum. The man fucked good. More than good. You were pretty much pleading incoherently to whatever gods were above or below. There wasn’t anything you were begging for, just whatever it was that Bucky seemed to be doing, that it never stopped.

Each stroke caressed that sweet spot within, and with the way his hips rolled, he was able to nudge your clit with his body. Added to the mouth on your neck, biting and licking the sore spots to ease the ache, his hands pinning you down to the bed only added to the raw possessiveness dictating Bucky’s movements.

Harder and faster, his hips moved. The thick cock pounding into your cunt until you were seeing stars and cumming again, squeezing him so hard he had to still his hips to stop his own orgasm from spiralling.

But then, he's pulling out and turning you onto your front, spreading your legs once more and demanding, “Arch your back for me, Sweetheart”. Doing as he instructed, your still-covered breasts pressed into the mattress as your hips angled up. With one hand holding onto your shoulder and the other on your hip, he began to fuck you with just as much enthusiasm.

In this position, he somehow felt even more deeper, and all you could do was cry out and moan with how good he felt.

“Tell me you’re mine, I need to hear you say it”, Bucky grunts as you came for the third time, becoming overstimulated and disorientated with how good you felt.

Your cunt was still squeezing with the effects of the orgasm as you repeatedly told him, “I’m yours, only yours, Bucky”.

Bucky’s head tilted back so that he could release an almighty grunt, the hands on your body tightening enough that the skin became tender, but you didn’t care at all, not with how good you were feeling. You could feel his cock throbbing and the wetness that followed, dripping from your hole and onto the mattress beneath.

It was a long few minutes before he eased out and collapsed onto the mattress beside you, the two of you breathing heavily as his metal fingers stroked slowly down your spine and his lips followed.

“You should have told me earlier”, you whisper over your shoulder to him.

“Hmm?” he asks, moving up to your shoulder, where he carefully kissed the skin that was tender from his grip moments before.

“You should have told me how you felt”, you explain, thinking about how much time was wasted.

“Maybe. But then, I wouldn’t have had so much fun threatening everybody for looking at you”, he answers with a grin, kissing your cheek once before climbing off the bed and returning with the sheets from the floor.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes smut #marvel smut #bucky barnes one shot #jealous bucky #bucky barnes x reader #marvel one shot #bucky #mine*

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schistostegapennata · 1 year ago

Note

can you talk about moss poaching i'm actually really curious

How can I refuse! Absolutely!!! It sounds kind of ridiculous, but it's actually very sad.

So, let's start off with some numbers. Every year, the moss black market is estimated to garner up to $165 million for trafficking approximately 82 million pounds of moss.

I cannot even wrap my mind around how much moss that is.

You might ask, why does moss poaching exist and why is it so lucrative? Well, the quality that has made mosses the prey of an illegal trade is simply their aesthetic appeal. Soft, velvety, and moist, mosses are extremely pleasant to the touch and calming to look at. Some people are willing to pay large amounts of money to collect them and put them in private gardens. However, most of the mosses that move in this underground black market are actually sold to companies/wholesalers for use in potting/gardening soil, plant nurseries, decor, and as craft materials. The majority of the preserved mosses in your run-of-the-mill chain craft store, planters, floral wreaths, or very-much-dead living wall decorations are gathered illegally, bleached to death, and then dyed green. This goes for a lot of prepackaged peat moss and soil mix blends as well.

Even though it is illegal to gather moss in public places (in the US, at least), people still harvest it. Why? Probably because there's a fair amount of money to be made and the consequences are very rarely enforced, and when they are, they are quite light--usually a $50 fine at worst if you're caught. Most of this black market moss is actually poached from the national park system, with Appalachia and the Pacific Northwest usually being the hardest hit regions.

Mosses play vital roles in many ecosystems, provide homes for threatened species, regulate water distribution in forests, and help with erosion, so their loss is a terrible blow. Additionally, moving such large quantities of mosses from one location to another may spread unwanted, invasive hitchhikers, like insects that lay their eggs in the plants, or even seeds and spores.

I'll end on this thought:

It can take 20 years for a small patch of moss removed from a fallen tree to grow back with the right moisture conditions.

How long would it take to regrow 82 million pounds?

#moss #moss poaching #pat don't poach #ask #nature #moss discourse #mosscore #environmental issues

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mariasont · 5 months ago

Note

Could you do a story where Y/N Is taken in a hostage situation and we see more of a dark hotch? like that early episode where hotch and reid are hostages in the hospital?

TOO EMOTIONAL - A.H

a/n: thank you so much for requestin <3 i hope this is what you were wanting!

masterlist

pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader

warnings: honestly yall i feel like this is way darker than anything i've written so far, not sure if its good or not but alas, mentions of blood, violence, unsub threatens reader with a knife and a lighter, mentions of sexual assualt (it doesnt happen just mentions of it), unsub cuts open readers shirt, hotch is a dick for a plot, hurt/comfort

wc: 1.4k

Your vision was blurred, you fought to focus as dried blood flaked from your lashes with each heavy blink. You swallowed a cough, the floor's cold concrete punishing your knees. The ties around your wrists and ankles were merciless, digging into your flesh. You tried to focus on the sounds around you—the drip-drop of water, the soft wail of distant sirens.

In the dim light, you caught glimpses of Hotch, his distinct cologne mingling with the warehouse's musty air. He was agonizingly close yet not close enough to touch. The unsub's footsteps were barely audible over the pounding of your heart. Panic fluttered in your chest, unwanted and insistent. Only three cases in, and it seemed the universe was conspiring to reroute your career choice.

Frantically, you attempted to wipe your face on your shirt, pulse roaring in your ears as the footsteps ceased before you and Hotch. The man was a ghastly figure, burns cutting from one side of his face to the other. You couldn't breathe.

"What a day to have feds come knocking." His voice was hoarse, fingers absently playing with a lighter.

"You know, they say the most intelligent criminals are the ones who don't get caught, yet here we are," Hotch said, his chin defiantly up, words sharp and calculated.

Suddenly, the unsub was right there, his disfigured face uncomfortably close, the heat from the lighter singeing your skin. His breath was a hot, sticky assault, and you fought the instinct to flinch.

"Smart men don't leave witnesses, and I intend to be very smart about this."

The foundations of your training flitted across your consciousness, the methodologies for keeping control of the situation, but they sifted through your fingers like said, rendering you paralyzed.

"Take her then. She's new, inexperienced. Probably more trouble than she's worth." Hotch's voice was cold, jarring like a slap to the face, his expression empty of emotion.

You strained to keep your face impassive, your eyes darting to Hotch, pleading for his attention. Your breaths were shallow, scarcely there. He had to be bluffing. You felt sick. The unsub shifted his weight, scrutinizing you both, edging closer to hotch, no doubt with suspicion.

The unsub laughed, a cold and calculating sound as he circled around Hotch. "You expect me to believe you'd turn on your own that quickly? I'm not a fool."

"Look at her and tell me what her worth is to me." Hotch's voice was even, almost bored. "She's a liability. Too emotional, too soft."

His words were flung carelessly, yet they landed with precision, straight into your chest. Your teeth punished the inside of your cheek.

The remarks were like sharp barbs to your chest, instilling a hollow feeling as you attempted to convince yourself that the wetness on your lashes was anything but tears. His assessment was not unfounded. Your empathy, your sensitivity, traits deemed too tender for the harsher realities of your job, were now being used against you. Hotch had always been an exception, until now.

"Well, I could see her worth in other ways." The man's words oozed contempt, his gaze crawling over you in a way that threatened to turn your stomach. "I bet that's how she got the job in the first place, huh?"

"What do you think?" Hotch's laugh was a sinister match to the unsub's. He tilted his head in your direction. "Look at her. That's all she's been good for."

Your breath caught in your throat, your body turning as much as the ties would permit in Hotch's direction. You could almost hear your heart shattering, could feel it in Hotch's inability to face you. Was this a plan or had he truly discarded you?

You never deluded yourself into thinking you were Hotch's favorite--his reserved interactions with you made that abundantly clear. In fact, you were probably his least favorite. He had kept you at an arm's length, while seemingly forging bonds with the others that didn't seem to extend to you.

This was all within reason, given your inexperience and younger age, but the disdain lacing his words was unexpected, shredding through any pretense of professional detachment.

Hotch had never wanted you on the team, it was Rossi who had vouched for you. And now, look where that got you both.

Maybe this was all deserved.

"Then you won't mind if I try her out for myself?" The unsub's insinuation felt like a perverse validation of Hotch's doubts.

A low hum escaped the unsub as he closed the distance, his gaze predatory. You stilled, breath caught as he produced a knife from his pocket, skimming your cheek just shy of cutting. You were scared and you were scared to show it. Desperately, you looked to Hotch, the blade now hovering precariously close to your sternum.

Hotch wouldn't look at you. You wanted to scream, to cry, to throw something, but that was all shoved to the bottom of your throat as the unsub sliced down the middle of your shirt, exposing your chest and compelling your gaze to it. Tears of humiliation prickled your eyes. How could Hotch let this happen to you?

The unsub's clammy grip clung to your waist, your lips trembling as you prepared for the worst. You closed your eyes, escaping to your house in your mind—tea brewing, fireplace going—anywhere but here.

A sudden splatter to your face jolted you back, eyes opening in alarm you saw Hotch's eyes, not the unsub's.

"You're okay, you're okay," Hotch murmurs.

The words did little to comfort you, his hands moving blindly to release the binds at your wrist and ankles. Looking down, you see the unsub, knife through his back, blood pooling around him. Hotch's hands are on your wrists, his thumbs massaging away the sting.

When your hand touches your face, you feel the splatter from earlier, coming back away with a smear of blood on your fingertips.

Your voice felt like it was a prisoner inside yourself, words and sounds slipping past you like ghosts. A persistent ringing in your ears muffled all but the pungent scent of the warehouse, which clawed at your senses.

You felt the jostle of hands, the motion of being lifted, a sensation so distant it barely registered. The world was a smear of lights and faces--the team showing up, the paramedics--until it slowly came into focus.

You barely registered that Hotch was speaking to you, his words indistinct and muffled.

"What?" you asked, your speech slow to form and blurred at the edges.

You had a jacket over the front of you, his jacket, covering your exposed chest.

Hotch's eyes were pools of worry as he grasped at your hand. It was weird, the feeling of his hand in yours. You realized that was the first time you had felt it.

"More water?"

You could only nod, and he promptly fetched a bottle, twisting it open and placing it in your hand. You took a small sip.

"It's too loud," you mumbled, you were aware you weren't making sense. You shifted to face him, your knee grazing his thigh. "Did you mean those things you said?"

"Of course I didn't mean it," Hotch replied quickly, his gaze intense. "You thought I meant that?"

Your gaze dropped to your lap, voice faltering. "I don't know... I wasn't sure, I mean, no, but I just... I don't feel very useful, and this whole mess, it's because of me and I--"

Tears interrupted you, your hands fumbling to hide them. Hotch reached out, gently turning your face to his, thumb brushing away the tears.

"Hey, look at me. Don't say that. This isn't your fault. Nothing I said back there was true. I needed to distract him, had to make him concentrate on you."

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying like this," you stammered between sobs.

"You don't have to apologize. You're crying because you've been through a lot. Just breathe, take your time."

You managed a wobbly smile. "You hit the nail on the head with the too emotional part," you sniffled.

Hotch gave a small chuckle. "Your compassion, your sensitivity, it's what sets you apart as an agent--in fact, it makes you an outstanding one."

You were close now, your gaze inadvertently drawn to his lips. You could kiss him if you wanted. Not that you were in the right headspace or that it was appropriate. But you could've.

"Oh, my goodness, I'm so glad you're okay!" You were barreled into a hug, the familiar voice and blur of color of Penelope enveloping your senses.

Hotch cautioned, "Watch her head."

With Penelope's hands around you, you found yourself looking over her shoulder, locking eyes with Hotch. His gaze held a new light, a recognition that maybe, just maybe you weren't Hotch's least favorite agent after all.

taglist: @hotchhner @khxna @readergf @sarcasm-and-stiles @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath @broadwaytraaaaash @sunfyyre @sleepysongbirdsings @trulycayla @crouchingapple @navia3000 @aaronlovesava @bakugocanstompme

join my taglist here!

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner hurt/comfort #aaron hotchner x fem reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #criminal minds angst

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lizsstory · 6 months ago

Text

”I had econ!”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

ethan landry x reader

warnings: smut, oral (f! receiving), fingering, p in v, 18+ but yk i cant control what you read cuz i aint your ma 🤷🏻‍♀️

———

“where were you?! you disappear and my sister almost gets killed!” chad pulled ethan by the jacket and slammed him against a nearby vehicle

“i had econ!” ethan shouted as chad battered him with accusations of hurting his sister mindy.

ethans mind floods with flashbacks from earlier-

y/n tugged at ethans shirt as she deepened their kiss, desperate to get him to shed the item of clothing. he separated himself from her to pull his t-shirt off. he reconnected the kiss and picked her up. he toyed with the hem of her shorts while walking them towards his bedroom

he sat her on the bed and sat on his knees, not breaking the kiss. their tongues fought, sliding against the others lips to find entry. he pulled away to speak, “can i take these off?” he asked looking up at you through his eyebrows, waiting for approval while searching your face for any sign of unwanting. “fuck, please, yes.” you breathed out while nodding your head.

he pulled them off along with your underwear. he kissed the insides of your thighs, slowly inching closer to the wetness pooling between your legs. he reached your clit and attached his lips as he began to suck. he slid his fingers up and down in between your folds before slipping a finger in and began pumping. this action drew a moan from your throat. he took this as a sign to add another and speed up. he pumped faster and just as he felt you getting closer and squeezing his fingers, he pulled them out. you let out a sad whimper and cocked your head to the side. “why’d you stop?” you asked. “want you to cum on my cock, pretty girl.” he said as he began to unbutton his jeans. he pulled his boxers down to his knees and ran his pink tip that was leaking precum through your wet folds. he slowly inserted his dick into you, planting a hand onto your thigh to steady himself. he groaned loudly as he bottomed out. he began thrusting into you at a fast pace, not giving you time to adjust. you moaned out in pain and pleasure as he sped up. he was now pumping into you at an unimaginable speed. he ran his big hands over your breasts, playing with your nipples with his thumbs as he did so. you were letting out loud moans and you were sure the neighboring dorms could hear you, but right now you didnt care. he guided his hands down to your hips and began slamming his hips into yours as he felt himself inch closer to release. this made you to tip over the egde and release, the knot snapping in your stomach. your cum dripped down ethans cock as he continued to pound into you. the feeling of your tight cunt squeezing him so good and the sounds of your moans in his ear made him release inside of you, the hot liquid pooling and dripping out as he pulled himself out. he leaned down to kiss you—

“ethan!” chad shouted, pulling him out of his trance. “yeah, yeah sorry, uh zoned out there. you can ask y/n, she was sitting with me and helping me take lecture notes.” he said. fuck, he couldn’t wait for your class to end and see you at his dorm later.

#[liztalks]#[lizwrites]#x reader #ethan landry x reader #jack champion x reader #scream #scream x reader #scream fanfic #ethan landry smut #ethan landry #ethan landry x you #ghostface smut #jack champion smut #scream smut #slasher smut #smut

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colormepurplex2 · 7 months ago

Text

Shatter With Me | Please, Let Me

↳ Model!Jungkook x Surrogate!f.Reader ⤜ Surrogacy, Best Friend’s Husband ⤜ Rating: MA 🔞 ⤜ WC: 28,134 ⚠️ Crass language, talk of infertility, drinking, very mild bullying and references to cruel behavior/words, BIG hurt feelings, accusations of infidelity, rejected/unwanted drunken kissing that could be viewed as dubious infidelity, lies/deceit about fertility, broken marriage, infidelity, talk of divorce/filing for divorce, legal separation, kissing, fingering, cunnilingus, mild dirty talk, mild begging, sex while pregnant, creampie

Next Chapter⇾ ⇽Previous Chapter ◅ Back to story masterlist

You should be dreaming, but an incessant sound keeps pulling you back to the surface of consciousness. Rolling over, you check your phone to see what time it is—2 AM. It takes a moment, but you manage to blink away your sleepy fog and realize the noise is someone rapidly knocking on your door.

“Taehyung, what the hell are you doing here?”

Taehyung looks rumpled, his hair tousled and the soft skin beneath his eyes a deeper shade than usual. He sighs heavily and takes a step back from your doorway. “Because,” he says, throwing a hand out in a gesture towards the floor.

Stepping forward, awkward with the temporary boot on your foot, you lean out into the hall to look at what he’s pointing at. “Oh my god, what’s wrong with him?”

Jungkook is slumped against the wall, his legs sprawled out in front of him. It takes you only a second to realize his shoulders are jumping in quiet, hiccuping sobs.

“Can we come in?” Taehyung asks. “It’s a long story, and I’m tired as shit right now.”

“Well, sure, okay.”

Taehyung gratefully accepts your help, though you’re not sure how much good you do with a bum foot, getting Jungkook through the door. He flops limply on your couch when Taehyung slides his arm from around Jungkook’s waist.

“What the hell happened? Is he drunk?” you ask, recoiling at the stench of whiskey you catch wafting from Jungkook. “Why did you bring him here? Where’s Jiyoon—”

“No!” Taehyung gasps, flailing a hand through the air to cut you off. “Don’t say her name. Please, you’ll set him off again.”

“Too late,” Jungkook sobs from the couch, curling in on himself.

A tug on your shirtsleeve has you turning away from Jungkook. Taehyung jerks his head toward your kitchen and you follow him in there. Worry settles in your chest with the look on his face.

“It’s not good,” he whispers.

“What happened?”

Keeping his voice pitched low, Taehyung fills you in the best he can. “He knocked on my door a few hours ago, completely out of his mind. I was barely able to get him to stop screaming and crying long enough to tell me. And then he downed half my liquor cabinet in less than half an hour.” Taehyung pauses and you can tell he’s collecting himself before continuing, “Jiyoon told him that her baby isn’t his. She’s completely shattered him.”

A tightness grips your chest, your heart pounding hard. You shake your head. “No, no. That can’t be right. Jiyoon wouldn’t—she…she loves him.”

Taehyung scoffs, “She loves what he represents. Don’t pretend we both don’t know all she cared about when they met was that he was a hotshot model with a bright future full of dollar signs.”

“Taehyung, no. I’ve known Jiyoon for most of my life. We’ve been friends since we were kids. She wouldn’t do that.”

The pained way Taehyung says your name tugs at your heart. “I’m going to be honest here, and I need you to know what I say is coming from a place of care. Jiyoon isn’t a nice person. She’s not a good friend—especially not to you. Don’t,” he says when you open your mouth to protest. “I know you care about her, but from what Jungkook told me, she said some really nasty things, about him…and you.”

“Me?”

“She accused him of having an affair with you, that you slept together, and that’s how you got pregnant. That was how she eventually told him about her affair, that her baby wasn’t his. It’s a fucking mess…he’s a mess.”

You have to stifle your incredulous laughter. “You can’t be serious.”

Taehyung puts a hand on your shoulder and turns you to look at where Jungkook is still curled up on your couch, his face buried in one of your throw pillows, body steadily trembling. “I’m serious.”

His words settle like a heavy weight right over the center of your chest. That tightness that was there before increases until you feel like you can barely breathe. “I-I need to talk to Jiyoon. There’s been some sort of misunderstanding, a mistake.”

You go to take a step toward the hallway to retrieve your cell phone from your bedroom but Taehyung’s hand tightening on your shoulder halts your movement. “Maybe it’s best to leave it for now. At least until he’s lucid again. I don’t mean to drop this on your lap, but he wouldn’t stop begging to come here…to come see you, see the baby.”

The baby that he knows is his. Taehyung doesn’t say that, but it echoes through your mind as if he’d shouted it. You’re not sure what to believe at this point. The only things you know for certain are your own actions. It would be easy to crumble right now, to let the weight of everything crush you. But the crying man on your sofa—the one who is not just your client nor your friend’s husband anymore, but who has managed to become someone far more significant in your life and not just because of the baby growing inside you—reinforces the steel in your spine. There will be time to deal with everything else later.

“Okay,” you say to Taehyung. “Thank you for bringing him.”

After seeing Taehyung out and promising to call him if you need anything, you email Namjoon that you’ll be working on a client case from home tomorrow. For obvious reasons, you intentionally leave out that the client is Jungkook and that the case is one of a broken heart instead of an ad campaign.

You told Taehyung you wouldn't reach out to Jiyoon yet, but you are curious if she’s perhaps tried to reach out to you. The lack of messages waiting for you on your phone is another small crack in the fissures of your waning friendship with Jiyoon. What you didn’t tell Taehyung is that you’ve been feeling this way for a while. You know Jiyoon isn’t always a nice person. But she was still your friend, someone you had spent years of your life loving and being loved by in return. Or so you thought, at least.

With a sigh, you slowly approach the couch, kneeling down beside it. Jungkook stopped crying before Taehyung left, having fallen into a fitful drunken sleep. His body is still wracked with tremors, and his breathing wheezes from between his lips, sounding labored. You gently push his hair out of his face, feeling a pang of sadness at how blotchy and puffed his eyes are even when closed. A red mark mars the side of his jaw, subtle bruising in the distinct rounded curve of small, slender fingertips—she hit him.

“Mm,” Jungkook groans softly, your name rasping out with the sound.

“I’m here.”

His shoulders jump as the quiet sobbing returns. “I’m so sorry,” he chokes through the words. “Please don’t leave me, too!”

“Hey, hey, none of that. You have nothing to be sorry for. Come here,” you coo, helping him sit up so you can sit where his head was on the couch. You open your arms to accept him into an embrace so you can try to console him in some way.

Jungkook launches himself at you. You think it’s a mistake made in haste, his lips landing on yours. But with the gentle way he cups your face and begins to move his mouth in a sensual pluck over yours, you realize what’s happening—what you can’t allow to happen, not now.

“No—uh, no. This isn’t—” You pull back from him, managing to get a hand between your mouths. “Jungkook, no. We can’t do this. You’re hurting,” you say slowly, making sure to keep your eyes focused on his glassy ones. “You’re confused right now, and you’ve been drinking. This isn’t what you want. This isn’t you, no matter what anyone else says.”

Tears course down Jungkook’s cheeks and it breaks your heart to see him hurting like this. “Sorry—” he clears his throat “—yes, you’re right. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me. I’m such a fucking asshole. Jiyoon was right—”

“No. No, she’s not right, Jungkook. Whatever she told you, it’s not right. She’s not right,” you confirm again. “You’ve done nothing wrong. No matter what, know that.”

With a choking sob, he slumps forward into your arms, and you soothe him by running a hand over his hair. Resting back as best you can, you bring your legs up on the couch alongside Jungkook, being mindful of the small boot on your foot, and help him maneuver so he’s lying down beside you, head in your lap.

“What am I going to do?” Jungkook whispers into the silence that follows after a few tightly strung beats.

You try to sound reassuring, but you’re not sure you sound convincing even to your own ears, “It’s going to be okay, Jungkook. I promise we’ll get all of this figured out.”

Even if you’re not sure how you’ll accomplish that, you know you’ll do whatever you can to help Jungkook. This isn’t just his problem; it’s partly yours, too. After all, he’s the father of the child growing inside you and will be a part of your life even after the birth.

“Hi,” Jungkook whispers so softly that it takes you a moment to realize he spoke at all. “It’s me, your dad.” You can feel his lips brushing against your stomach through your nightshirt; he’s talking to the baby. “I love you so much already, and I swear I’ll never leave you…baby boy”

A boy.

You and Jungkook both cried happy tears at the hospital earlier after the tech swiveled the screen back around. It made everything feel that much more real. You vowed to bring life into this world for him and Jiyoon. Whether or not she’ll be in the picture further, you can’t let that color your actions moving forward with Jungkook. He still wants this baby—so do you—and that’s what matters.

Jungkook nuzzles against your hip and presses his face more fully against the side of the gentle swell of your belly. One of his arms wraps around the underside to rest on your opposite hip.

Sleep evades you long after Jungkook falls back into a less troubled slumber than before. Occasionally, he mutters under his breath and his hand flexes against your hip like he’s fighting invisible demons. You can’t even begin to imagine what he’s going through, what his dreams are plagued with…all you can do is promise that no matter the darkness brewing, you’ll remain by his side for as long as he’ll let you.

You can only afford yourself the one day off of work and Jungkook assures you that he is okay on his own. It’s still a little weird to have him staying at your place, but only because neither of you has brought up that night since it all went down. That was three days ago now and you know when you go into the office today that Jiyoon is going to be there. It’s an inevitability of working together, crossing paths with coworkers. It was lucky that she was out of the office all day yesterday.

Taking a deep breath, you prepare yourself for the elevator doors to slide open. As soon as they do, it seems like a hush falls in the office. It feels like your first day of school or something, with the way eyes track you as you make your way to your desk. Something has changed, the atmosphere between yesterday and today is different, and you can’t shake the foreboding feeling now working its way down your throat.

“How embarrassing,” titters a familiar, snide voice from behind you. “Can you imagine showing up to work after what happened?”

Dani laughs at something Sooah, one of the other portfolio managers in the office, says. You can’t quite make it out, but that doesn’t stop the skin along your arms from pimpling and the hair on the nape of your neck from standing on end. Maybe if you go and ask now, feigning some pregnancy-related symptom, Namjoon will let you go home.

“Can you be a bit more professional, Dani? And you know better than to encourage her, Sooah.” The voice of Hyeonwoo from accounting chimes in as he briskly crosses the space between Sooah’s cubicle and continues past yours. “Namjoon doesn’t approve of office gossip, and it’s not above me to ask if he’d care to hear the latest little bird song.”

It seems everyone knows what’s going on, so you shouldn’t be surprised. But you can’t help but feel a little jolt of shock. Jiyoon shares most things with Dani, who has the biggest, loudest mouth in the office. You’d think Jiyoon would have wanted something like her marital problems not to be aired to the entire company.

“No clue what you’re talking about, Hyeonwoo. We were just reading this ‘Am I The Asshole’ thread on Reddit,” Dani sasses, grinning like a Cheshire cat when her eyes flicker to yours over the divider around your desk. “‘Am I the asshole for missing my pregnant wife’s very important doctor’s appointment because I was too busy playing hospital with her best friend, who just so happens to also be pregnant with my baby’. Only he claims it’s ‘not like that’.”

Sooah covers her laugh with a cough. Heat brushes up your neck, and embarrassment laced with a healthy dose of anger simmers in your stomach. They’re talking about you, yes, but that’s not what’s bothering you the most. What hurts more than anything is they seem so callous in talking about your pregnancy—the pregnancy you have because you wanted to help your best friend.

“Oh, Dani, Sooah, Hyeonwoo is right. Stop acting like children talking about things you know nothing about.” Jiyoon’s voice cuts through the uncomfortable silence. “That’s in poor taste, and you both should apologize.” She approaches your desk with a strained smile on her face. “Hey. Don’t listen to them.”

You chew on the inside of your lip before quietly responding, “Because it’s not true?”

“Because they’re just joking, even if they’re not very good at it.”

It’s impossible to know what to say. Jiyoon is talking to you as if there isn’t this giant gaping chasm named Jungkook between the two of you. “A joke?” Waving a hand in the air to dismiss that line of thinking, you turn to Jiyoon and open your mouth, intent to confront her about what’s going on or at least demanding she talks to you about it later, but she starts to speak before you can.

“We should get lunch today—oh, wait, I can’t today. But we should do that soon, okay?” She gives you a sincere smile. “Maybe we can talk baby names.” You’re so taken aback that all you can do is stare at her until she turns around and goes on about her morning like absolutely nothing happened. It’s as if it’s just a normal Thursday in the office.

💔💔💔

Jungkook

If someone had asked Jungkook six months ago where he thought he would be, the last thing he would have said was sleeping on your couch with his marriage in shambles. It’s been three days since he blacked out with his face pressed against your baby bump. Waking up that morning was only slightly awkward.

He’s been keeping himself busy by checking work emails and watching parenting videos on YouTube. Taehyung stopped by the condo for him the morning after, when Jiyoon was at work, and grabbed some of his things. Apparently, Jungkook’s phone fell behind the bench when he was putting on his shoes before he left to go to the hospital to be with you. When he powered it on, he wanted to throw it against the wall and watch it shatter.

The text message he thought he sent to Jiyoon sat there, unsent, in the fucking text box. Taehyung told him that didn’t excuse the way Jiyoon acted. Sure, Jungkook had missed an appointment, but she didn’t even show concern for his well-being. What if Jungkook had been the one in the hospital? He said all she was doing was playing the victim.

Jungkook didn’t want to continue that conversation, almost as much as he didn’t want to reach out to Jiyoon. So, instead of doing either, he’s been focused on other things, like work. You did him a favor and rescheduled a shoot he had later in the week. Thankfully, the brand was willing to be flexible, though he knows not everyone will be.

Which is why he got up this morning, took a shower, and is now on his way to meet Taehyung for lunch. Jungkook needs to get back to some semblance of normality, and food with his best friend is a great place to start. Taehyung is also bringing Jimin, and it’ll be nice to just have a moment of feeling like a human being again.

Taehyung chose a nice bistro just down the street, so Jungkook decided to walk. With every step he takes, he can’t help but swivel his eyes and check every face that passes him. The last thing he wants to do is somehow accidentally run into Jiyoon. Knowing his luck, that’s exactly what would happen no matter how hard he tried.

Thankfully, it seems the world has decided not to hate Jungkook that much today. Jimin and Taehyung are already there, seated at a booth in the back, when Jungkook walks through the door, the overhead bell tinkling brightly.

“Hey, man!” Jimin greets him cheerfully. Jungkook is certain Jimin could field the entire Kim Exclusives brand roster on his own, with his lush lips, soft cheeks, and dark eyes. The stylishly tousled blond-dyed hair helps, too.

Jungkook slides into the seat across from them. “How’s it going?”

“Busy!” Jimin flashes a charming smile. “I booked a brand deal with this pretty big jewelry company, and they want me to attend one of their launch parties this summer. I have five vouchers for plus ones if you’re interested. My manager, of course, gets one. Taehyung has one, and I’ve invited this guy I’ve been talking to for a while, Hoseok. That leaves two tickets unclaimed.”

Jungkook suppresses a smile at the jealous flash in Taehyung’s eyes when Jimin mentions this mysterious Hoseok. It’s cute how Taehyung tries to hide his very obvious crush on Jimin. All it would take is for Taehyung to actually ask Jimin out, and Jungkook knows he’d say yes in an instant.

“There will be an open bar and lots of potential connections to be made,” Taehyung adds, clearly trying to move the conversation along.

“Yeah, you can bring Ji—uh…” Jimin stammers to a stop. The poor guy blanches, clearly worried he might have upset Jungkook by almost talking about someone in particular that they’ve all been pointedly avoiding mentioning.

“It’s okay,” Jungkook tells Jimin. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You can always bring our boss instead,” Taehyung suggests, waggling his brows at Jungkook.

Jimin pops his elbows on the table and leans toward Jungkook. “She’s who you’re staying with right now, isn’t she?”

“Yeah. But, can we not talk about any of that? I just want to feel normal, please. Let’s talk about anything but my fucked up life.”

“Right, sure, of course.”

“No problem, man.”

Jimin and Taehyung shift gears without any issue, and Jungkook is thankful for that. By the time they order food and have eaten, Jungkook is feeling so much better that it doesn’t bother him that much when Taehyung asks him a question that’s close to the taboo subject of she-who-shall-not-be-named.

“When do you think you’ll be coming home?”

Jungkook drums his fingers on the tabletop, not having really given that much thought to it before now. “Honestly? I don’t really know. The condo is in my name, but I can’t just kick…Jiyoon—” he only stumbles over her name a little “—out.”

“I mean, you’re not just going to let her have it, are you?” Taehyung takes a sip of his tea before setting it back down. “You make good money, but you’re not made of giving away entire condos money, Jungkook. We book a lot of the same clients, I would know.”

He’s right; Jungkook knows this. And it’s not like he can stay with you forever. He already feels like he’s invading your space, and it’s only been a few days. Perhaps it’s time for Jungkook to swallow his reservations and seek out some answers. Life isn’t going to stand still for him; he needs to push through it and get to the other side.

“Fuck, man. I know. I’ll contact a lawyer today and see what’s the best course of action moving forward. Gotta start somewhere, right?”

“That’s the spirit,” Taehyung proclaims with an enthusiastic nod. “Don’t let the bitch continue to control your life!”

💔💔💔

You’re not sure you can let another minute pass without confronting the giant, awkward, proverbial elephant in the room. Jiyoon has spent the entirety of the day pretending like nothing is amiss. During the weekly team meeting this afternoon, she sat beside you like she always has, a smile on her face and a hand gently draped over her baby bump—the baby that she told Jungkook wasn’t his.

It’s late afternoon now, and most everyone else in the office has gone home, leaving just you, Jiyoon, Hyeonwoo, and Namjoon. Hyeonwoo and Namjoon are tucked away in one of the conference rooms, going over projections and finance reports, so if you want to have a private moment with Jiyoon, now is your chance.

Her desk is close enough to yours that you don’t need to cross the space, but you do anyway, the five feet feeling more like a mile with every step you take.

“Hey, Jiyoon. Do you have a moment?”

“What?” She taps away at her computer, the screen angled in a way that you can’t see. “Not really a great time. I’m trying to submit the schedule approval for a press tour for Dohyun.” You know Dohyun is one of the high-profile actors that she’s managed for a few years.

That’s not what you were expecting to hear. You were hoping for maybe a bit more receptiveness. Despite knowing that pushing her probably won’t do you any good, you know you need to try. “Jiyoon, please. It will only take a moment. It’s important.”

Jiyoon blows out a breath of irritation. Her mouse click is harsh and exaggerated, and her annoyance is palpable. “Okay, go on.”

“What the hell is going on with you?” you ask, choosing not to sugarcoat the situation and getting right to the point.

Her eyes bulge, clearly surprised by your approach. “Excuse me? What are you talking about?”

“Don’t. You know what I’m talking about, the fact that your husband is sleeping on my goddamn couch and that supposedly that’s not his baby!” you whisper yell, nodding toward her maroon maxi dress-covered belly.

Jiyoon is a few inches taller than you, even more so in the short-heeled pumps she’s wearing. But when she stands up and steps into your personal space, you refuse to back down even though the feeling of her belly pressing to the top of yours makes you want to retreat.

Moments pass in tense silence, her dark brown eyes boring into yours. Finally, she steps back with a soft laugh. “Is that what he told you?”

No. It’s something you’ve been avoiding talking to Jungkook about for obvious reasons. If he wanted to talk about it, he’d bring it up. But, you don’t think Taehyung would have lied to you when he dropped a drunk Jungkook on your doorstep. Taehyung is a lot of things, as you’ve learned over the years, but a liar isn’t one of them.

“It doesn’t matter what he told me. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?” Because despite how you might feel, hearing her side seems to be the least you can do at this point. Maybe she’ll provide some crucial bit of information or make any of it make sense.

Her arms cross over her chest, and one of her hips pops out in a classic Jiyoon stance when she’s about to fight using words. “Look, Jungkook and I had an argument. It got heated. We both said some shit we didn’t mean. It’s not the first time, and it probably won’t be the last. That’s just how marriages go.” She says that with a look on her face that says you clearly wouldn’t understand because you’ve never been married. “Sorry that he’s taking up space in your apartment. Tell him to go to a hotel or something if he’s bothering you.” She shrugs. “Things should blow over soon, and he’ll come back home either way.”

“You’ve talked to him?”

“Well, no, but I know him. Everything will be fine. Now, I need to get back to work. You should go home. Put your feet up and rest. It’ll be good for your baby and ankle.” The tenderness and concern in her tone give you whiplash.

Part of you wants to stay and ask more questions, but you’re not sure it’ll do you any good. She didn’t answer your first question anyway—not really, at least. Jiyoon's answer was generic and didn’t provide any sort of details—a half-answer at best. She didn’t confirm nor deny whether what she said to Jungkook about the baby was true, and that, perhaps, should be an answer enough for you.

Your mind is still reeling by the time you get home. But the smell of grilled meat and sauteed vegetables that greets you as you open the door stops the grind wheel in its tracks. Jungkook is in the kitchen, standing at the stove, his back to you. A white shirt stretches over the broad expanse of his shoulders as they move with whatever he’s occupied with. By the sounds of it, he’s moving things around a pan.

Soft music drifts to you from the Bluetooth speaker sitting on the island that separates the living room from the kitchen. Jungkook’s voice mixes with the vocals. It’s a beautiful tenor that could do good for him if he ever stopped modeling.

The last thing you want is to disrupt his peace. You had made up your mind as you traveled home that you would bring up everything with Jungkook tonight, wanting to get it all out in the open and addressed so you knew what to expect moving forward, knew how long he’d be staying with you.

It’s a conversation that needs to happen, but maybe it can wait…just a little longer.

“Hey,” you call after slipping off your shoe and removing the temporary boot. You only have to wear it for a few more days and really only if you’re going to be doing a lot of walking.

Jungkook spins around, spatula in hand, with a giant grin on his face. “You’re home! I hope you don’t mind. I thought I could at least make dinner. As a thank you for letting me crash here the last few days. I feel bad for invading your space.”

“You don’t have to thank me, though I won’t say no to whatever you’re making. It smells absolutely divine. Is that garlic?”

“Yes! I made some samgyeopsal and japchae. There are also some pajeon staying warm in the oven. Are you hungry? It’s all ready.” He looks at you hopeful, hands clasped around the spatula handle.

Your stomach gives an appreciative rumble. “Most definitely. Let me go change real quick, and then we can eat.”

The domestic feel of coming home to someone making dinner for you in the kitchen sparks you as surprisingly comforting. You’re so used to coming home to an empty space, preparing a small meal, and then spending time with your own thoughts and activities. Having Jungkook here, even for this short of a time, has made you realize how much you enjoy coming home to a space that’s not so empty.

When you make it into your room, you notice there is a silver boutique bag sitting on your bed. Inside there is a sage-colored cashmere button-up cardigan and a pair of butter soft yoga pants with a built-in belly band.

“I thought you might like them. You mentioned last night how you needed a new pair of lounge pants and that you accidentally got sauce on your favorite sweater. I know it’s not much, but I went out to lunch with Taehyung and Jimin this afternoon and saw that cardigan in a window, and it reminded me of you.” Jungkook fills the doorway of your room, his shadow stretching long across the foot of your bed.

“Jungkook, this is—” The cardigan and pants are both softer than probably anything else in your wardrobe, and it’s on the tip of your tongue to tell him it’s far too much, and you can’t accept it, but you realize maybe you need this as much as he does “—wonderful. Thank you.”

There is a soft boyishness to the way he smiles, dropping his eyes from yours as he rubs the back of his neck. “Well, I’ll let you change. I’m going to set the table.”

He disappears back down the hall, and you let out the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Now, more than anything, you don’t want to tarnish what seems to be turning into a perfect night with a conversation about Jiyoon.

Normally, you would wash clothes before wearing them, but it’s too tempting to try the pants and cardigan on. They both fit perfectly and feel like velvety hugs against your skin. When you come out of your room, Jungkook is sitting at the dining table. Steaming dishes of vegetables, noodles, meat, and onion pancakes sit beside two plates and sets of cutlery. A chilled glass of water and a set of cutlery with a folded napkin sits beside your placemat.

“It looks amazing,” you tell Jungkook as you take your seat. “I didn’t realize you could cook.”

“Because I’m a man?” he asks, raising a brow at you in jest.

“Ha ha, you’re so funny.” You stick your tongue out at him, and he laughs. “Because you’ve never told me.”

“You’ve never asked.” Jungkook serves you first, giving you generous portions of everything.

“Touche. What other talents do you have that I don’t know about?”

Jungkook looks up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “Does being really good at video games count?”

“Video games?” you giggle. “I guess that depends on how good we’re talking here.”

Jungkook’s eyes gleam with mischievous intent as he brings them back to yours. “Play me some time and find out.”

You laugh again. “I don’t think that would be a fair assessment at all.”

He grins, his white teeth flashing. “What about you? Do you have any talents I don’t know about?”

There is one thing you’ve never shared with anyone before, and you’re not sure what makes you want to share it with Jungkook, but you find yourself opening up regardless. “I’m not sure if it would be considered a talent. But, have you ever heard of the children’s book series ‘Tales of Buttercup and Biscuit’?”

“Isn’t that the one about the cat and dog that go on secret adventures together but have to hide their friendship because cats and dogs aren’t supposed to get along?”

Your teeth press into your bottom lip, a habit of yours that you’ve tried and failed to break many times. “That’s the one.”

Jungkook looks at you, waiting for you to continue, but you just let it hang there in the air, hoping he’ll put the pieces together. The moment it clicks, you see a spark of surprise in his suddenly wide eyes. “Wait, no. No! That’s you?! My little cousin loves those books. He raves about them all the time!”

“It’s nothing, really. Just something I enjoy in my spare time.”

“A published book series is not nothing,” Jungkook chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re far too humble. Wow. Just wow. That’s amazing. Your secret talent is definitely way better than mine.”

The conversation continues throughout dinner and carries into a shared dessert of coffee patisseries and vanilla ice cream. Jungkook sits on one end of the couch with you on the other, your feet in his lap as he massages them. The empty dishes from dessert sit discarded on the floor beside the couch.

“That feels good,” you sigh. “I didn’t think my feet would be swelling this much this early on.”

“What does it feel like?” Jungkook asks, his eyes lifting to yours from under his brow as he’s bent over your feet.

“Having swollen feet?”

“Well, not just that, but everything. What’s it like being pregnant?”

You think about it for a moment, wanting to give as best an answer as possible. “It’s hard to say, really. I imagine it’s different for everyone. But, for me, it’s I ate too much food for dinner, if that makes sense? It’s not necessarily uncomfortable, but I can tell my stomach is expanding, and my body is making more room on the inside. Sometimes, I think I can feel a flutter, like movement. Right here,” you say, pressing a hand on the right side at the bottom of your bump. “But I read online that since this is my first, it might be a few more weeks before I actually feel any movement.”

Jungkook uses the flat of his thumbs to knead the ball of your left foot. The lotion sitting on the side table has a subtle lilac scent. He squeezes a small dollop in his hand and goes back to work. You know Jungkook is particular about heavy scents, so when he asked for lotion to use while massaging your feet, you grabbed the one with the lightest scent.

“Would you…” Jungkook begins but trails off, pursing his lips as if reconsidering what he was about to ask. “Do you think that when you do start to feel movement—what I’m trying to say is, would you be comfortable with letting me try to feel them, too?”

“Of course. Absolutely. Why wouldn’t—”

The sound of Jungkook’s phone chiming cuts you off. You recognize the ringtone, and suddenly, a leaden weight sits in the pit of your stomach.

Jungkook licks his lips nervously, his eyes flicking between yours and where the phone is tucked into his pocket. “I—uh, I should probably…get that. I’m sorry. Do you mind?” He points down the hall, and you assume he’s asking if he can step into your room or the bathroom for some privacy.

You pull your feet off his lap and give him a quick nod, unsure you can trust yourself not to tell him not to answer it, to beg him to let this spell of peace last a little while longer. Jungkook gives you an apologetic smile before retreating down the hall, his form disappearing into the dark.

A moment later, you hear the distinct click of the bathroom closing and the lock rolling into place. You can’t help but feel like things are about to change, and there isn’t anything you can do to stop it.

💔💔💔

Jungkook

Running a hand through his hair, Jungkook pushes it back from his face before sitting on the lip of the tub and swiping to answer the call.

“Ju-Jungkook?” Jiyoon’s voice cracks through the line and it tears at Jungkook’s heart. No matter how hurt he is right now, he’s never liked the sound of her crying. It’s ingrained in his soul to immediately want to console her, to tell her not to cry and that everything will be okay. Only, any comforting words he might normally say crumble like dust on his tongue. “Jungkook. Please. I can’t do this. I’m…I’m so sorry.”

Over the last few days, when Jungkook did allow himself to think about this moment, he expected to feel some sort of relief with those words. ‘I’m sorry’. Hearing them now, though, the only thing he feels is sorrow.

“I don’t know that I can believe you.” That’s all his mind will allow him to utter in response because it is genuinely the truth.

Jungkook and Jiyoon have been together for around six years. In all those years, not a single day has been spent hating her or feeling anything less than love for her. Sure, there have been dark times, but that’s never been able to truly overshadow his love for his wife.

When they first met, he was captivated by her headstrong and resilient nature. He was drawn to the way she seemed to take charge of a room from the moment she walked in. It wasn’t hard to fall in love with her.

Despite that seemingly rock-steady exterior, Jiyoon also showed him a tender side of her nature that few got to see. She had compassion and loved helping people, volunteering in her spare time to work on humanitarian projects and hosting fundraisers. She once told him that if she didn’t love marketing and media so much, she’d probably have opened her own non-profit to raise awareness for gender inequalities.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that she really started to change. There were fewer of those tender moments and more of the stone-faced, withdrawn woman he knows now. A ghost of who she once was…or maybe just who she was always meant to be—who she really was all along.

“You have every right to say that.” Jiyoon clears her throat, and Jungkook can almost see her dabbing at her face with a tissue, blotting away smears of mascara and eyeliner. “But I am sorry. I didn’t mean all those things I said to you the other night. I was mad, hurt, and lashing out. It…it’s not true, what I said about the baby.”

A twinge of something pangs in Jungkook’s chest. “What?”

“The baby, it is yours, Jungkook. I know you didn’t fuck my friend. God, I can’t believe I accused you of that. I know you’d never do that. I just…I was so mad. I was so mad I couldn’t think straight.”

“That’s not a good enough excuse, Jiyoon.” Jungkook carefully considers his words, trying to be honest without being too harsh. No matter what transpired, Jiyoon is still a person and deserves to be treated as such. “What you said…what you insinuated, that hurt me.”

“I know, baby. I didn’t mean it. Well, I did mean it. I wanted to hurt you, wanted to make you feel like I was feeling, but only because you hurt me first. And I know that’s silly, awful, and childish. I just couldn’t stop myself once I had started.” Jiyoon sighs, the sound exhausted. “The baby is yours, Jungkook. I swear.”

“I want to believe you, Jiyoon, I really do. I’m just not sure you saying sorry is enough. That’s not just something you spout out off the handle, most lies hold a semblance of truth.”

Jiyoon hums softly, and Jungkook knows she’s trying to collect her thoughts and form them into words. “There…is some truth in what I said—” she pauses when Jungkook lets out a heavy breath “—but not like that, not about the baby. The truth is in the fact that I was scared, and intimidated by the way you care so much about another woman. And yes, even if that woman is my friend.”

“She’s carrying my child, a child she agreed to carry for us. Of course, I’m going to make sure she is taken care of and want to be a part of as much of the process as possible. I thought you were also doing that? Don’t you talk to her, spend time with her, bond over pregnancy? It’s the same thing.”

She doesn’t immediately answer. Then, “Probably not as much as I should have.”

Jungkook is taken aback by this revelation. He thought surely the two of you were in constant contact and sharing the experience of it all together. You haven’t brought up anything that would make Jungkook think otherwise, but then again, he’s never bothered to ask either.

“You can’t expect me to distance myself or treat her any differently when she is carrying something that is meant to be so precious to the both of us.” Jungkook means that with his entire being. If anything, he thinks he could even treat you better than he currently does, and make more of an effort in some areas.

“It’s…just hard, okay? I know it’s not an excuse, but you kept missing my appointments because you were busy spending time with her instead. I know the last time it was an emergency and I take full responsibility for my actions and the words I said. But, I promise, everything I said was just out of anger. I mean,” she laughs, the sound lightly incredulous and humorless, “why would I accuse you of cheating and then immediately confess to cheating? That’s kind of silly when you think about it, right?”

Jungkook did consider it when trying to make it all make sense. But he just chalked it up to Jiyoon possibly projecting her own actions and guilt onto Jungkook when she accused him, to begin with. The fact that her tactic changed to say the worst possible thing to hurt him just seems par for the course.

“I guess, maybe.” Jungkook shrugs his shoulders even though Jiyoon can’t see him. “I don’t know what to think anymore, to be honest with you.”

Jiyoon sniffles, her voice rough with tears, “I understand that. I accept that. And I promise to make it up to you. Just come back home, and we can work through it.”

That would be the easy thing to do…but also maybe the last thing he should do. Jungkook is aware that Jiyoon knows his weaknesses. All it would take is a few well-placed words, and he’d forgive her completely and forget that all this had even happened. It’s happened before, perhaps more than it should have.

That is why he says, “I don’t know, Jiyoon. I don’t think that’s a good idea—not right away, at least.”

“Jungkook. Please,” she cries. “Please, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I feel like I’ve lost you and…and I can’t, I just can’t. I love you so much. I’m so sorry, I’ll do whatever it takes. Just, please, please…” Her desperate pleas turn into incoherent sobs.

“Hey, hey,” Jungkook coos, his deeply ingrained instincts kicking in despite knowing he should try to hold out. “Calm down, shh, hey, deep breaths. Just like that, good. Come on, one more. Smooth, calm.” Once her cries have subsided into hiccuping spurts, Jungkook takes a deep breath and offers the only thing he can right now, “How about we take things slow? Maybe we can meet for lunch at the end of the week if you’re not too busy with work.”

“O-okay, yeah. Yes, please. Okay, let’s do that, I’ll clear my schedule,” Jiyoon accepts quickly, voice still thick with emotion but Jungkook can hear the smallest hint of a smile in her words.

By the time Jungkook leaves the bathroom, you’re no longer sitting on the couch. The leftovers from dinner have been put away, and the kitchen has been cleaned up. A wave of guilt-laden regret washes through Jungkook. He feels bad you did all the cleanup by yourself.

Tonight had started out so promising. It would be an injustice for Jungkook not to admit he enjoyed tonight more than he has any night in the last few years. You’re just so easy to be around, so soft and calm, your energy a pleasant buzz instead of a trumpeting cacophony like Jiyoon's. It’s a wonder you’ve been friends with her for as long as you have, being near complete opposites. Yet…not in a bad way.

Jungkook swallows hard at that revelation. Maybe he can blame the falling out on feeling disconnected from Jiyoon and more connected to…well, to someone who isn’t his wife.

It’s a startling realization—one that leaves him tormented with uncertainty and falling into a sleep so fitful it tempts him to knock on your door. The closest he gets is standing outside your closed bedroom door, his fist poised, hovering over the hardwood. But, in the end, he crawls back into his makeshift bed on the couch and doesn’t sleep a wink.

Jungkook wants to talk with you about his conversation with Jiyoon, but there hasn’t been a moment of freedom to do more than the typical day-to-day check-in. He doesn’t want to just say, ‘Oh, hey, by the way, Jiyoon said she lied, and we’re going to have lunch to talk it out in a few days.’ It’s a conversation that definitely needs more time and grace.

To make up for the shoot you rescheduled for him since he’s now feeling much better, Jungkook decided to take on a last-minute speaking engagement at the grand re-opening of a downtown shop that has a contract deal with one of his brands.

After hours of smiling and posing for pictures, Jungkook met with Taehyung for lunch and then lost himself for a few more hours at the gym of your apartment complex while he waited for you to get home. When he finally returned to your place, a covered dish of food, still warm in the oven, was waiting for him, and you were already in bed.

As Jungkook eats the food you prepared for him, he can’t stop kicking himself for the opportunity lost. He really wants to talk to you before meeting with Jiyoon for lunch tomorrow. He values not only your opinion on the whole situation but also the fact that you know Jiyoon nearly as well as, if not more than, he does. So, he hopes he can catch you in the morning before you go to work. Unless…you’re intentionally avoiding him, a thought that hits deeper than maybe it should.

💔💔💔

You hate being late to work, but when you woke up this morning your stomach had plans you couldn’t exactly foresee. In between moments of hugging the toilet, you manage to send Namjoon an email letting him know you’ll be a little late this morning.

Thirty minutes later, feeling marginally better, you finish getting ready and are surprised to catch Jungkook in the kitchen making breakfast. You’ve not necessarily been avoiding him, but you’ve also not not been. You might have overheard the tail-end of his conversation with Jiyoon two nights ago and haven’t been able to shake this foreboding feeling ever since.

“Good morning,” you say as you slip past him and start to make a cup of tea.

Jungkook looks at you over his shoulder. “Morning. You feeling okay?”

“I just had a bit of a spell this morning. I’m feeling much better now. I'm just going to make my tea to-go and then be on my way.”

“Hey, um, do you think we could talk? I’ve been meaning to bring it up since the other night, but I just…timing hasn’t exactly been on my side, and well…”

“I got a few minutes, sure. I already emailed Namjoon to let him know I would be coming in a bit late today.”

“Great. Why don’t you have a seat? I’ll finish your tea, and I also made some muffins,” he says, shooing you toward the dining table before turning back and opening the oven. The smell of fresh banana muffins wafts to you and makes your mouth water.

“So, what’s up?” you ask when Jungkook sits down.

You watch him prepare your tea, adding the perfect amount of honey and cream. It’s such an insignificant thing, tea, but the fact Jungkook knows how you like yours, makes you feel good…really good.

“Well, we haven’t exactly talked about everything that happened. Taehyung told me he filled you in on what all I told him, but I don’t know if he told you…everything.”

It’s hard not to let the topic of conversation sour your mood. But this is a conversation you know has needed to happen, so you begrudgingly don’t pull away from it. “He told me that Jiyoon told you…about her baby and then something about me and you.” That’s a very vanilla version of it, but you don’t want to say any more details than necessary.

“Right. That’s the gist of it. She apologized to me the other night when she called. She claimed she only said those things out of anger and because she was hurt. It was her way of hurting me for hurting her. I guess I haven’t exactly taken her feelings into account with some stuff lately, and when I missed her twenty-two-week appointment, she lost it and said all those things to get back at me for it.”

Jungkook makes it seem so innocent, so cut and dry…so, forgivable.

“I see.”

“I’m having lunch with her today, so we can talk some more. She wants to work things out and asked me to come back home.”

You bite the inside of your cheek so hard that the metallic zing of blood coats your tongue. “And are you?”

“Going to lunch, yes. Back home? I don’t know. I have to go home sometime, I suppose.”

The confusion on Jungkook’s face is clear to you, like he doesn’t know up from down when it comes to what he wants right now. But you also see resignation, like he knows it’s inevitable that he’ll be back home soon, whether or not Jiyoon is there, too.

“I…okay, I understand that.” It’s not your place to beg him not to go. Jungkook is his own person and can make his own decisions. However, what you can do is tell him how it makes you feel. “Just know, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like. I know sleeping on the couch probably isn’t super comfortable, but I’m just saying. You always have a place here, no matter what. I’m sure there are a lot of things you and Jiyoon need to discuss, just—” you sigh, pressing on even though you’re not sure if Jungkook will be receptive to your criticisms “—be careful. Don’t accept something because it’s the easy way, be sure it’s something you want and that you protect yourself above all other things.”

It’s possible you’re seeing what you want to see, or maybe it’s really there, but for a moment, you’re certain there is a flash of something more in Jungkook’s eyes—something that says he wishes you told him not to do it. But it’s gone before you can decide if it was there or just your imagination.

When you finally make it in, Jiyoon is floating around the office like a fairy. Her chiming laugh fills the space, and she’s absolutely glowing in her pregnancy. Everyone in the office says so, complimenting how luminous her skin is and how shiny her long black hair looks. You’ve gotten some compliments, too, but they’ve been mixed in with whispers and office gossip.

Even before Junkook and Jiyoon had their falling out, seemingly everyone found out about what you offered to do for them. When Jiyoon first revealed that you were pregnant with a baby for her and Jungkook, one specifically composed of your DNA and his, the entire office seemed to have an opinion about it—not all positive, either.

There are quite a few different options for surrogacy available thanks to the advances of modern medicine, and the method that Jungkook presented to you is the one that he believes suits the fertility issues Jiyoon was facing the best.

When it first came out, Namjoon had taken you aside into his office to talk about the implications of having a more than professional relationship with a client and how important it is to maintain boundaries, the typical HR spiel to which you politely agreed and promised him things weren’t going to interfere with work. You wonder now if you need to have another conversation with Namjoon about not being able to keep that promise, considering recent events.

Jiyoon catches your eye as she picks up a small pink bag from Dani’s desk, a bright smile on her face. “Hey, you!” she calls to you.

“Hey,” you mutter in response, still unsure how you feel about everything Jungkook told you this morning. You know it’s entirely possible. Blowing something out of proportion is exactly Jiyoon's thing to do. She loves to wound with words, lashing out with a viper tongue when the mood suits her.

“Can we talk for a minute?” she asks, stepping close to you and lowering her voice.

”Yeah, sure.”

”Great, let me just put this on my desk real fast.” She gives the pink gift bag she got from Dani a little shake.

You follow her to where your desks are. She drops off the pink present, and it joins a scattering of other pastel pink and yellow wrapped gifts or baggies. A sinking feeling hits you, and you mentally connect the dots to what that could possibly mean.

“A girl?”

Her eyes are vibrant when they meet yours. “Yeah, isn’t it exciting? A daughter.”

A sister.

Knowing your son could possibly have a sister should be exciting. Yet…if it’s supposed to be exciting, then why do you suddenly desire to run away and hide to protect your son? Also, since when did you start thinking of the baby as yours? You shake away that thought, clear your throat, and plaster on a strained smile.

“Exciting, yeah. Congratulations. If I had known we were bringing gifts today, I would have grabbed something.”

“Oh, nonsense. But, about what I wanted to talk to you about,” she says, waving a hand to dismiss what you said about the gift.

You wait for her to go on, but she glances around and then takes your arm and tugs you closer to the supply closet on this side of the office, notably as far away from your coworkers as you can get without going to the restroom or Namjoon’s personal office.

“What is it?” you ask, crossing your arms under your breasts. It breaks her hold on your arm, but the tightening feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach says you also feel like you need a hug, and your own arms are the best you have right now.

Her voice is pitched low, her body angled so her back is more to the office space and any curious eyes. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Genuinely, and truly. You are my best friend, and I know I’ve been less than stellar with you for a while now. Everything got away from me, and I was acting out, being a bully, and just a horrible person all around. Then everything with the babies and all the issues between Jungkook and I, and well…I know that doesn’t justify how I acted, but now Jungkook is upset with me, and I don’t know what to do. I just thought that maybe—well, if things were okay between us, then maybe he’d come home. I didn’t realize what I said to him would hurt you, too. I thought you would have known better since we’ve been friends for so long.”

Once upon a time, you would have said without a doubt that you could tell when Jiyoon was being dishonest with you or not. Now, however, you’re not so sure. You wish Jungkook were here so you could look to him for his opinion, which has been something you’ve come to greatly appreciate.

“Okay, I guess. Thanks for apologizing.” This comes out more as a question than a statement, but it seems to satisfy Jiyoon.

“Great! I’m glad you understand and that we’re on the same page. So, you’ll tell him to come home? Oh, and I meant what I said the other day. We should have lunch sometime soon. I’d love to chat about how the next few months are going to go. We’ll have to figure out how to coordinate bringing my babies home. Can’t be too prepared, right? Plus, it’ll be here before we know it.”

Your spine straightens, and your muscles tense as Jiyoon throws her arms around your neck and hugs you. For the second time in a matter of days, the press of her stomach against yours makes you uncomfortable. Something isn’t sitting right with you, this whole interaction feels off, and you just can’t put your finger on why.

Patting her on the back lightly, you disengage and give her what you hope is a polite smile before telling her you need to get some work done. There is something about this interaction, something about Jiyoon, that just…has your alarm bells going off. Everything about the last few months has you rethinking a lot of things…and perhaps the first thing on that list should be your friendship with Jiyoon.

As soon as you sit at your desk, your first reaction is to pull out your phone and text Jungkook. But, you stop yourself, leaving the device in your bag. Jungkook told you he was having lunch with Jiyoon today, and you don’t want to bother him with something that is probably nothing.

If, by the end of the day, you still can’t shake this unsteady feeling, then you vow to allow yourself the grace to bring your feelings and concerns to Jungkook. Not in the hopes of persuading him in any way, but to hopefully have an outside perspective on whether or not you’re reaching here.

Something does feel off. But maybe that something is you and what is turning out to be the not-so-tiny, very significant, completely not-harmless crush you have on Jungkook. The fact that you don’t even want to think of him as your friend’s husband anymore is quite telling in and of itself.

💔💔💔

Jungkook

There have been times in Jungkook’s life when he wished he could go back in time and change things. It hasn’t happened often, but when it does, the thing he would change is always life-altering in some way.

For instance, he would go back in time and change the way he approached the subject of wanting to have children with Jiyoon. Or, rather, he might even go back to before they got engaged—which was maybe too soon itself, considering they got engaged and married within a year of first meeting—and insist they talk about their future wants and desires to make sure that they aligned.

Jungkook isn’t sure why it took him so long to think about it, but with everything that has happened in the last few months, he can’t help but look back on it now. He’s sitting in his car, waiting for Jiyoon to arrive at the BBQ place she chose for lunch. It was still thirty minutes until their agreed-upon time, but Jungkook had nothing else to do.

So, here he is, with his thoughts. Jungkook brought up the desire of wanting to have children four years into their marriage, which was two years ago now. Two years, that feel like two decades, of an uphill battle in which Jungkook thought he and Jiyoon were on the same page. Only, that wasn’t always the case.

It seems so vague a memory now, but it’s there nonetheless. Jiyoon expressed her own thoughts about children; she didn’t want them. At least, not so soon. He’s not sure if he can place the moment in their marriage when she changed her mind, because it all feels so seamless to Jungkook.

Thinking back on their journey, Jiyoon suggested they start trying more often. However, Jiyoon also took their passionate moments of indulgence and made them into robotic meetings of anatomy. Jungkook definitely remembers that pivotal moment in their relationship.

Perhaps that is something else he would go back and change. He’d approach the idea of seeking medical assistance differently. He wouldn’t have gone behind Jiyoon’s back and sought answers she wasn’t ready to have. Maybe if he’d have been more delicate about it, the schedule would have never come into play.

As with all thoughts about changing the past, he can’t help but wonder whether what happened was a good thing. After all, if the child Jiyoon is carrying is indeed his, maybe it was the schedule that helped in the end anyway.

With so many thoughts, Jungkook feels like he might drown if he continues with all the what-ifs and whys of it all. Turning on his radio, he reclines his seat and brings up the camera roll on his phone. This has turned into one of his favorite pastimes, scrolling through all the happy images and memories he has saved here.

His thumb pauses, hovering over one of the more recent shots. The day he found out he was having a son, the day his world upended just a few hours later. Your smiling face, unshed tears in your eyes, pressed close to his, the ultrasound tech having insisted on capturing the delicate moment of pure rapture when you and Jungkook got to see that you were growing his son inside of you.

There are a few other shots of you, candid moments Jungkook captured because one day, no matter what anyone else thinks, he’s going to tell his son where he came from and show him the beautiful, thoughtful, and selfless woman who helped Jungkook create him. What better way to do that than through moments forever rendered in technicolor? Just to be safe, Jungkook clicks through and adds them all to his cloud.

Jungkook notices with a bitter pang of disappointment that he has so few pictures of Jiyoon pregnant. Anytime she catches him trying to take one, she gets really upset. The last time it happened, she cried, locked herself in the bathroom, and wouldn’t come out no matter how much Jungkook apologized. He didn’t see her until the next morning.

He nearly drops his phone as it chimes with an incoming text message from Jiyoon. She is inside and waiting for him, it says. Knowing this is the right step forward, Jungkook rights his seat and climbs out of the car, heading inside.

“Hey, over here!” Jiyoon calls to him as soon as he steps past the host stand.

As always, she looks gorgeous. The plum-colored off-the-shoulder cable-knit sweater compliments the soft flush in her cheeks, and the black slacks accentuate her long legs. It’s hard to see her bump through the sweater, the fabric chunky in an intentional way.

She resumes her seat when he starts her way. “Hey,” Jungkook replies, taking the seat across from her.

“I went ahead and put in an order for the honey pork and beef. I hope that’s okay.”

“Sure, sounds great.” Jungkook clears his throat a few times, not sure what else to say. He pours himself a glass of water and begins to pour Jiyoon one before he even realizes it. It’s just so natural for him to do so.

“Thanks.” She gives him a smile as she accepts the glass. “And thanks for agreeing to meet with me.”

One of Jungkook’s shoulders kicks up in a half-shrug. “We have to talk sometime. And sooner is probably better than later.” A muscle feathers along his jaw as he clenches it. “Where would you like to begin?”

Jungkook feels like maybe he’s being a bit too cold or standoffish to Jiyoon, considering their near seven year history and the fact she’s his wife, for crying out loud. But, if he’s being honest, he’s still not over all the bullshit she said and the way she acted.

“Would you like to know the gender?” she asks hesitantly. Her right hand comes down and forms the front of her sweater over her belly, making it stand out.

Does he want to know? Yes. Of course, he does. No matter what has transpired, whether true or not, the baby is innocent in this.

“I would.”

The prominent thump of his heart echoes in his ears as Jiyoon slides a small, facedown picture across the table. “You can keep it if you want…I have a copy.”

With a slow exhale, Jungkook pinches the corner of the photo and turns it over. It’s so similar to many of the other grainy, black-and-white ultrasound images he’s seen over the last several weeks. But right there, toward the top right corner, is a single word, white text floating in the abyss of the static-like scan.

Girl.

“A girl,” Jungkook whispers, the word rushing from his mouth like he caught a fist in the gut. That fist moves up and takes a stranglehold on his heart next. It’s almost painful to breathe. Everything that was before, seems so much less significant now.

“Our daughter,” Jiyoon confirms, reaching out and gripping his free hand that was trembling on the table.

Tears sting Jungkook’s eyes, and he has to blink several times before he’s certain they won’t drip onto the photo. The first thought he has when everything comes rushing back in is that he needs to tell you, and wants to share in this joy with you. “My son is going to have a sister.”

He must have spoken aloud because Jiyoon lets out a startled gasp. “Your son? You mean the other baby is a boy?”

“What? Oh, yeah. Didn’t you know? I just thought maybe…” Jungkook trails off because he’s come to learn better that Jiyoon isn’t quite the friend he thought she was to you. It wouldn’t surprise him one bit if Jiyoon hadn’t spoken to you at all in the last week since everything went to shit.

Jiyoon sighs. “I did talk to her today—earlier, in fact. But we didn’t talk about the babies, not really. I…uh, I apologized to her for what I said and how I’ve been acting.” Her nose twitches as she sniffs, averting her gaze from Jungkook’s. “I’ve been such a shit friend lately, and after everything with you, I knew I needed to make it right. Or at least start trying to make it right. Everything has just happened so quickly, I feel like I’m drowning sometimes. And…a-and when my life preserver—” her eyes flick back to his for a moment, and he knows she means him “—isn’t there, I panic, and I guess that means I try to bring the whole ship down with me. I meant what I said, Jungkook, I am sorry about everything. What I said was awful, and that’s not the kind of person I want to be, not the kind of mother I want to be for our children. Will you come home? Please? I don’t want to spend another night alone in our home.”

“Maybe…I guess I can sleep in the guest room for a while? You know, just until I can get my head back on straight.”

“You mean that?” she asks, her grip tightening on his hand.

Looking back down at the photo still pinched between his fingers, he knows what the right thing to do is. There might still be a small sliver of doubt, but this baby—this little girl—deserves for him to give her a chance.

“Yeah, I mean that.”

💔💔💔

When Jiyoon returns to work after her lunch with Jungkook, that intense feeling from before increases. She’s far too happy right now for having just had lunch with the husband she shattered less than a week ago. You tap the screen on your phone, which sits on your desk, and you’re tempted to text Jungkook and ask him how it went. But a shadow falling over your desk draws your attention away.

“I brought you back something,” Jiyoon says with a smile, offering you a white paper bag.

You catch the scent of cinnamon and sugar as you accept the bag. A peek inside reveals a large pinwheel wrapped in wax paper, the bottom of the bag is warm, so you know it’s fresh.

“Um, okay. Thanks.”

“Jungkook mentioned that you’ve developed a bit of a sweet tooth thanks to Little Man. It’s probably not as good as his homemade banana bread, but I know you like cinnamon rolls, so I thought you might enjoy a treat.” She leans against the wall partition that separates your desk from hers. “I know I can’t seem to stop snacking on pretzels. Cute, right? Salty and sweet, already the perfect duo.”

Of course Jungkook would have told her the gender of the baby. You may not have signed the legal papers just yet, but there is no way you can even begin to think about keeping this baby from Jungkook. So, if with Jungkook comes Jiyoon, then you’re going to have to try to come to terms with some things or at least have a very open and meaningful conversation with them both. That’s something that strikes you suddenly, realizing that not once since you agreed to do surrogacy for them have all three of you sat down together to talk.

“So, lunch went okay?” You can’t help but ask. The need to know is far too great. This is a good segue into hopefully asking if the next lunch can include all three of you.

Jiyoon presses the tips of her fingers to her forehead. “Thankfully, yes. You’ll be happy to hear Jungkook is coming back home tonight, so he’ll be out of your hair soon. I, um, I hope things are okay between you and me. I know an apology doesn’t really do much, but I have another peace offering to go with the gooey goodness in that wrapper,” she beams, tapping the bag sitting on your desk.

Another peace offering? You have no idea what that could possibly be. “You have something else?”

Jiyoon leans toward her desk, and you hear the sound of papers shuffling before she produces a sheaf of papers. “It’s a birthing plan! I thought maybe making up your plan would help take that stress off of you. Especially considering our situation is a pretty special one. Everything there is what I would like to happen, but of course, if you need to add anything, that’s fine, too.”

There are easily a dozen papers stapled together here. It’s a detailed, bulleted list of requests. It covers everything from who is allowed in the birthing room and who cuts the cord to whether or not you can have an epidural and if you can hold the baby right after birth.

You scan the pages, your eyes snagging on at least every other word. Jiyoon wants Dani in the birthing room? She wants a doctor to cut the cord so the baby can be immediately given to her for skin-to-skin contact. Jungkook is allowed in the room, but only if he’s standing where he can’t see the birth. In parentheses beside that, there is ‘because it’ll be weird if he watches the baby come out’.

No epidural and only a heparin or saline lock for administering fluids if necessary. She wants you to be able to move around while in labor, but it’s listed that you’re only allowed to labor on your back so Jiyoon can watch her son being born. You’re only allowed to use a birthing ball, and absolutely no warm baths or showers.

In the event of a cesarean, Jiyoon will be the only one allowed into the operating room for support. The baby is to be fed exclusively breast milk but not directly from the breast. Below that is a list of top-of-the-line breast pumps and where to order them.

“Jiyoon. Are you serious?”

“What is it? What’s wrong with that? Do you not like it? Like I said, you can add things if you want. But, it would be nice if you let me know before you did. This is really the perfect plan and exactly what I want for my baby.”

Jiyoon huffs, her bottom lip poking out as she frowns at you shaking your head slowly.

“No epidural?”

“I’ve read that they can have some complications. Do you really want to take that risk?”

You poke the paper, your finger jabbing at one of the other things listed. “You want Dani in the room? She and I aren’t even friends.”

“Well, she’s my friend. It’s not like she’s going to be all up in your vagina. She’ll just be there to support me.”

“Support you?! Jiyoon, I get that this would be a special day for you, but I’ll be the one giving birth—which I see here you have it listed that you want me to try and get induced two weeks early? Why would I do that? My doctor says the only time we would want to induce early is if something is going on or, in some cases, of gestational diabetes, and my glucose test isn’t for another month.”

Jiyoon looks at you like you just grew a second head. “I thought I was doing you a favor!”

“Jiyoon, this isn’t doing me a favor. T-this…this isn’t a favor. This is you trying to control things that should at least be something we both consider. What if I don’t want any of this? Shouldn’t what I want matter, too?”

This has to be a joke.

“I thought what you wanted was to have a baby for me?”

You push back from your desk, tired of literally sitting here and taking this. “You could have talked to me about this. But it sounds like you’re not wanting to give me a choice. You said I could add things, not that I could take them away, too. Is that it?”

“Look, there’s a certain way I want my son to be brought into this world! Is that so bad? You’re acting like I’m asking you to do something insane.”

The heat licking its way across your cheeks is a product of pure anger. Maybe you shouldn’t be getting this bent out of shape over this. Jiyoon seems to have the best intentions with her list, but you can’t help but think that not once in this entire process has she asked what you want. In the beginning, you were constantly trying to talk to her and include her. Even if it was just a text message since she was so busy. Yet, she hasn’t once returned that in kind. Now this? You can’t do it.

“Ladies, is everything okay?” Namjoon’s baritone breaks through the silence that had fallen between you and Jiyoon.

You only realize now that the entire office is quiet, listening to you and Jiyoon volley words back and forth. A few throats clear, and people resume pretending to ignore the two of you, but it’s clear anyone within a twenty-foot radius was just eavesdropping in on the drama.

“It’s fine, Namjoon,” you say, meeting his eyes before turning back to Jiyoon. “Maybe we can talk more about this when we’re not at work?”

Jiyoon purses her lips, her eyes narrowing slightly, but she nods. “Sure, yeah. We can do that.”

No further opportunity presents itself for you and Jiyoon to talk. Not today, at least. It also could be that you weren’t exactly looking for an opportunity to do so. You haven’t been able to stop thinking about that stupid list.

Even now, you clutch it in one of your hands as you unlock your apartment door with the other. You don’t necessarily want to cry to Jungkook about it, more just have a conversation with him. Find out whether or not he’s aware of everything Jiyoon wants to impose on you.

Because that’s exactly what it is, what it feels like. This isn’t a birth plan, it’s a list of demands that do not take your wants or needs into consideration in the slightest.

“Everything okay?” Jungkook’s voice breaks through your mental tirade.

You stop in your tracks, eyes snapping up to meet his. Jungkook is standing in your living room, a small pile of laundry sitting on the couch that he seems to be in the middle of folding.

It takes you a moment to decide how to answer him. All the while, his eyes remain open and vulnerable on yours. You chew your lip, feeling angry tears prick at the backs of your eyes.

“No.”

The moment that word is out of your mouth, tears follow it, coursing down your cheeks in hot, twin streaks. Jungkook abandons the shirt in his hands and crosses the living room to you in an instant. His hands land on your shoulders, and his eyes flick over your face and body, searching for signs of anything physically wrong.

“Talk to me. What’s going on?”

Your fist tightens around the list before you hold it up and offer it to him. “Have you seen this?”

Jungkook takes the sheaf of paper and quickly scans the first page before flipping through the others. “A birth plan? Did you make this?”

“Jiyoon did. Apparently, these are the things she wants—no, demands—for when I give birth.”

“What?” His eyes come up to meet yours. “Some of this stuff is kind of…I don’t know, like this,” he says, pointing to the fifth bullet on the page. “Getting induced two weeks early? Shouldn’t that be a decision your doctor talks to you about? Also, support persons who are allowed in the room. I can understand Jiyoon and me, maybe her parents, sure. But Dani? I didn’t even think you and Dani were friends like that.”

“Because we’re not. This entire list is everything she wants, her support people, her wishes for how things go, and not once has she asked me what I want.” Your voice rises in pitch as you plow on, “I guess it doesn’t matter, though, does it? Because, as she’s made it clear, it’s not my baby, after all.”

Jungkook shakes his head, a muscle along his jaw ticking as he presses his lips into a thin line. “Don’t say it like that. You matter. This matters. You need bodily autonomy over a lot of these decisions. And if you don’t want someone in the room, they won’t be. If you want an epidural, as long as the doctor says it’s okay, then it’s okay. That’s what’s important. What you want and what the doctor says is okay. I’m sorry she did this. I’ll talk to her about it.”

“Because you’re going home, right?” You don’t mean to sound so sad when you say it, but it slips out before you can control your emotions. Maybe it’s the hormones, but the swinging from hot to cold makes you want to scream. You’re usually such a well-collected person.

“I—” Jungkook hesitates, his eyes searching yours “—I need to. What Jiyoon did isn’t right, and going home isn’t me accepting her apology and forgiving her. But I can’t keep sleeping on your couch. I’m going to stay in our guest room as I work through the mess inside my head.”

You know he can hear the resignation in your voice. “Okay, if that’s what you think is best.”

“I think I do. But…there is only one way to be certain, right? Clearly things have been coming to a head between Jiyoon and me for a while now. I’m sorry you’re now in the middle of this. That’s the last thing I wanted when I asked you to be our surrogate. I can’t say that enough, this was never how it was supposed to be.” To your surprise, Jungkook slowly wraps his arms around you. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, Jungkook, that’s okay. Thank you.”

“I promise I’m going to talk to Jiyoon about that birthing plan. It’s unacceptable. You matter, okay? You’re important.”

Maybe to him, you are. But to Jiyoon? You’ve never been more unsure of where you stand. The friend you once knew is not the same woman who has been parading around in the guise of your best friend. You’re not sure who she is anymore…or if you want to give her your baby.

“And Jungkook?” you say as he turns away to go back to his laundry. “Be careful, okay?” You allow yourself a moment of vulnerability, brushing your fingers across the cut of his jaw, where just a week ago, there rested another reason for your uncertainty.

Your heart stutters in your chest at his small nod of acknowledgement. A truth, one you had hoped would remain speculation, reflects in his wide, doe eyes. An uncertainty now confirmed, another crack in the foundation…you’ve never been more scared to shatter.

💔💔💔

Jungkook

Moving back home might have been a mistake. Jiyoon is clingier than ever, but it’s not in a way that feels natural to Jungkook. He once found so much joy in her tender affection and gentle touches. Now, however, he can’t help but pull away, giving her as polite a smile as he can.

There is something that has been bothering him that he can’t seem to make sense of. Ever since he moved back home a week ago, Jiyoon has completely and utterly changed her tune. Not once has she said a biting remark or yelled at him. Not that he’s complaining, per se. It’s just completely thrown him, he’s not sure how to process it. She’s almost being too nice.

Hell, she even gracefully accepted his explanation as to why the birthing plan she made was unacceptable. Jungkook tried to keep a level head when you showed him that ridiculous list, but he was so mad he could hardly think. The only thing that kept him from losing his mind was the fact he knew you needed him more than he needed to be mad. He’s still not sure what the hell Jiyoon was thinking when she made it. But, she didn’t so much as try to counter his argument when he confronted her about it. She just agreed with him and promised she’d make it right with you.

That’s another thing he can’t seem to stop thinking about. You’ve also been different the last week, only in the opposite way Jiyoon has. You’ve not berated him, but you’ve suddenly become more standoffish and distant. Maybe it’s because he’s not spending every night eating dinner with you or watching movies while he massages your feet, but even before all that you were warmer than you are now.

Which is why he’s trying to corner Taehyung right now before he goes back for hair and makeup. He needs to talk to someone who is relatively unbiased and can maybe help him sort his thoughts properly.

“Taehyung, hey, wait up a second.”

“Yo, JK, what’s up?” Taehyung spins on his heel, catching himself on the doorframe to the dressing room.

“Can we talk for a minute?”

Taehyung pokes his head inside the room, and Jungkook can hear his muffled voice as he talks to the staff. “Yep, it’ll just take a moment. I promise I won’t touch the clip,” he says, turning back towards Jungkook. “You’ve got me for ten minutes.”

Jungkook lets out a breath of relief. He feels like he might explode if he doesn’t get all of this off his chest soon. Taehyung is already wearing a dark pin-stripped suit with a deep v and no shirt underneath. A gold chain and pendant sit perfectly in the open front, complementing the ochre thick-strapped sandals on his feet. There is a small hairpin holding the front of his hair into a suave coif that he, despite saying he wouldn’t, pokes at before following Jungkook to a small seating area across the space.

They’re shooting at an old estate today, styling and posing for various fashion items. Jungkook already went through hair and makeup and his first round of photos. He’s just waiting now for his wardrobe change and his cue to be back with the photographer.

“Do you think it was a bad idea for me to have gone back home?”

Taehyung taps his bottom lip thoughtfully. “Why are you asking?”

“I…I don’t know.” And that’s the truth of it. “Things just have been weird since we had that one big argument. It’s like no matter what I do or tell myself, she makes me feel like I’m walking on eggshells.”

“Or is it that you realize you might have enjoyed staying with a certain manager more than you thought you would?” Taehyung raises a brow, and Jungkook scowls at him.

“Don’t even start on that. Of course I would feel comfortable there. It wasn’t a hostile environment.”

“So you agree that the environment where Jiyoon is concerned is a hostile one.”

“That’s not what I said,” Jungkook groans. “Is it?”

“Sounds like it to me.” Taehyung shrugs. Jungkook values Taehyung for his brutal honesty, so instead of insisting his friend stop, he lets him continue. “Look, you know I love you and just want you to be happy. But, if Jiyoon is telling the truth and that baby is yours, then you have two kids coming into this world, and you really need to get your shit figured out.”

“I know.”

“No, I don’t think you do, JK. Those babies aren’t going to wait for you to get your shit together. They’re coming in a matter of weeks, whether you’ve got it all figured out or not. I know you and Jiyoon have had a long go at it. You’ve been together for longer than anyone else we know. But, you need to ask yourself if she is the kind of mother you want for your kids. And before you insist she is, I want you to truly think about everything that has transpired. I mean, look at what she said about you and someone who is supposedly her best friend. Someone doesn’t just say that shit because they’re mad. They sure as hell shouldn’t hit anyone because of it, either. There is something going on with Jiyoon—” he taps the side of his head “—up here. And there isn’t a single person who wouldn’t agree that no kid deserves to be brought into a volatile environment. I know that’s not what you had envisioned when you first brought up wanting to have a family.”

“You’re right. But…there’s something else. Something that is maybe making all of this so much worse.”

Jungkook’s knee bounces, nerves wholly consuming him as he prepares to tell Taehyung something he’s only thought about until now. He’s been worried that if he put words to it then it would make it real, but he knows it already is.

Taehyung grins knowingly, the curve of his lips soft and not as teasing as it might usually be. “This should be good. Let’s hear it.”

Your name comes out in a hushed whisper. “I feel like she’s been avoiding me, and it’s driving me crazy. Ever since I went back home, she’s been so distant. I’m worried that she’s upset or something.”

“Well, there is this thing we like to call communication. Have you tried it?”

Jungkook rubs his hands over his face, heedless of messing up his makeup. “I have tried, but it seems like the only thing she wants to talk about is work or baby appointments. It’s like she’s fully in surrogate mode, and that’s all I get.”

“And do you want more?” Taehyung asks, clearly probing to help Jungkook process his thoughts.

“I want her—I want…I don’t know. I care about her. I want her to at least act like my friend,” Jungkook says lamely. Because if there is one thing he’s not sure he’s ready to touch with a twenty-foot pole, it’s the complicated feelings he’s trying to figure out when it comes to you—feelings he’s not sure are real or just a trauma-coping mechanism resulting from his discourse with Jiyoon.

Taehyung claps Jungkook on the shoulder as he stands up. “I need to get in there, but maybe you should ask her to meet up with you. Something strictly not work-related. Maybe get ice cream, or whatever it is pregnant women crave these days. See if you can sus out some more of those feelings I know you got clanging around in there.” His hand moves up from Jungkook’s shoulder to poke the side of his head. “Get all those thoughts out in the open before you go crazy, my friend.”

You agree to meet him for ice cream the next day, provided Jungkook agrees to make an appointment to get new headshots done. With the haircut he got weeks back, it’s needed anyway, so it was easy to accept.

The weather is warming up, and it feels good standing in the sun. It’s been so long since Jungkook allowed himself a moment to breathe and enjoy something so mundane, like the feeling of the sun warming his cheeks.

He’s waiting outside the small walk-up ice cream shop that’s situated in the middle of the park. You agreed to meet him here before an appointment you have with Taehyung. He’s working on some cover spread for a magazine or something like that.

“Sun’s nice, huh?”

Jungkook’s eyes pop open, and he glances back over his shoulder. The sight of you would bring any man to his knees, Jungkook thinks, his own legs giving a little wobble. The floral sundress paired with the sage cardigan Jungkook bought you makes you look like you just stepped off the pages of a romance novel. The wind catches a few stray lengths of your hair and tosses it across your face, drawing Jungkook’s attention to your smile.

“You’re beautiful. Um, I mean, the sun. It’s beautiful. Such a nice day out. Perfect for ice cream.”

You press your fingers against your lips, suppressing a giggle that Jungkook wishes you’d let him hear. “Shall we?” Those same fingers flick in the direction of the ice cream shop.

Jungkook leads the way to the window. “Mint chocolate chip? Cookies and cream?” he asks, trying to think of the different ice cream flavors he’s seen in your freezer.

“Mmm,” you hum, your hand resting over your belly in an absentminded fashion. “I actually think I want a strawberry bungeoppang ice cream.

Chuckling, Jungkook nods. “You read my mind.” He orders two of the fish-shaped ice creams and opens one of the packages before handing it to you.

“I haven’t had one of these in forever,” you say, taking a bite and making a sound of delight.

“Really? That’s sad,” Jungkook teases. “Next time I’m at the grocery store, I’ll grab you a box.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” There is a twinkle of mischief in your eyes as you glance sideways at Jungkook and he wants to capture this moment and never let it go.

So, he does just that, slipping his phone from his pocket and snapping a picture.

The smile slowly disappears from your face. “What?” he asks, looking at you over the top edge of his screen.

“Why are you doing that?”

Jungkook takes another photo, this one with your face more stoic but your eyes no less full of emotion. You don’t exactly look sad, but there is a hint of sadness there, drifting along with the uncertainty in your eyes.

Jungkook looks down at his phone, ice cream forgotten in his other hand. “Because these are important moments that I want to share with my son one day.”

“Can I ask you something?”

Slipping his phone back into his pocket, Jungkook nods to a park bench. “Of course. Want to sit?”

It feels like forever passes in silence. You sit there and nibble at your ice cream, and Jungkook finally opens his and finishes it in three bites, not wanting to have any sort of distraction. This is supposed to be his time to talk to you, to see what’s going on and figure out why you’ve been acting so weird toward him. He hopes that’s what you want to ask him about.

“What’s going to happen after?”

“After?”

“Once the baby is born. Then what? When I first agreed to do this, the only thing I thought about was the happiness it would bring to you and Jiyoon. But—but the further along this goes, the more shit that happens…the more I can’t stop thinking about how hard it’s going to be to give him up. And I know that’s probably the last thing you want to hear, and please, I swear I’m not going to change my mind about giving you the baby. But, I don’t know that I really thought about the fact that I’m going to be growing a life, spending almost ten months loving this life, to then give them away and pretend like nothing happened.”

“Is that what you think? That as soon as we have the baby, we’re just going to pretend like nothing happened? Is that why you’ve been so withdrawn lately?” Jungkook turns on the bench, drawing one of his knees up so he can look at you fully. “That is not going to happen. This baby, my son, is going to know who you are and what you did for him.”

He can tell you don’t really believe that. “No offense, Jungkook, but I don’t exactly see Jiyoon being okay with that. There’s something going on with her lately, and I don’t even know if our friendship is going to survive this.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath. “We’ll make it all work out. I know we can. You guys have been friends for practically your entire lives. This is just a bump in the road, right? We’ll figure it out, together…all three of us. And, um, there was actually something I wanted to talk to you about, too. Now that we’re on the subject of the babies and what comes after.”

“What is it?” You put the last bite of your bungeoppang in your mouth and chew it slowly as you wait for him to continue.

Maybe he’s jumping the gun in this, but he thinks it might help you with what you’re feeling right now. And besides, he has talked to Jiyoon about it, and even if she was adamantly against it, he’s certain she’ll come around eventually.

“How would you feel about being the babies’ guardian? Like if something were to ever happen to me or Jiyoon, they would both come to you. If you’d want that, that is. I know two kids would be a lot for someone to take on, but I think if I could choose anyone to raise my kids if I couldn’t, it would be you. You’re already doing such a good job with my son,” Jungkook says with a loving inflection in his tone.

“You mean that?”

“Of course I do.”

And no matter what, he’ll make that happen because the smile that’s now gracing your face is worth any amount of arguing with Jiyoon over it. You deserve so much more from this whole fucked up situation.

💔💔💔

“You look like you could use a hug.” Taehyung startles you with an arm across your shoulders, giving you half of said hug. “What’s got you looking so blue, boss?”

You hurried from your impromptu ice cream meetup with Jungkook and went straight to the spread shoot for Taehyung, meaning you haven’t had much time to process everything Jungkook said.

“There aren’t enough minutes left in the day to even begin,” you mutter, vigorously clicking through files on your tablet. “This agreement is a fucking mile long. How do they expect me to read it all and get it back to them in a timely manner?”

“‘Fucking’?” Taehyung says, amused. “Something must be up if you’re dropping words like that. Come on, we have a few minutes, you can at least give me the footnotes. My agreement with that cologne brand can wait.” His long fingers pinch the tablet from your hands and bring it to rest against his chest. “Out with it.”

You twist your fingers in the skirt of your dress as you try to decide where to begin. Taehyung isn’t just your client. You consider him a friend as well. And maybe getting an outside perspective is exactly what you need right now.

“Do you think I’m crazy for doing this?” you ask, moving one of your hands to rest over your belly. “You’re the one that brought it up, to begin with, after all.” You add on that last part, recalling the night of your birthday when Taehyung instigated the entire surrogacy conversation.

Taehyung winces. “I did do that, didn’t I? As far as you being crazy? No, I wouldn’t say crazy. Maybe just far too kind for your own good. If I had known you’d actually go along with it, I might not have brought it up that night.”

“Really?”

“Mmhm,” he makes an agreeable sound. “Do you feel crazy?”

You let out a nervous laugh. “Understatement of the year. I feel like I’m losing it, I have no idea what I’m doing…how I ended up six months pregnant with not a clue what the future holds and feelings I can’t—” You cut yourself off before you say something you’re going to regret.

“Feelings?” Taehyung prods, not letting you get away with that near slip-up.

“It doesn’t matter. Just drop it.”

Taehyung raises a hand. “No, no. You can’t say that and then not explain. I promise you’ll feel better once it’s out in the open.”

“I don’t know about that. Feelings are messy and have never done me any good anyway.” You take your tablet back from Taehyung. “I need to get this offer submitted and you’ll be needed back on set soon.”

“Feelings may be messy, but they are valid. Don’t keep them hidden away in that pretty head of yours. That’ll do nobody any good.”

You tuck your bottom lip between your teeth before forcing yourself to let it go, along with the hold on your emotions. “These feelings won’t do anyone any good, Taehyung. Because they’re feelings that can’t mean anything. Not without completely destroying everything.”

There is a moment where Taehyung considers you, his eyes flicking over your figure before landing back on your eyes. All you see there is empathy and understanding.

“This is about Jungkook, isn’t it?”

It’s not worth the effort to argue with Taehyung or convince him otherwise. So, you shrug. “Is it that obvious?”

“As obvious as it is that he shares the same sentiment.”

“Don’t be crazy,” you laugh. “That’s not—”

“That’s not as crazy as you think it is. You’ve both always danced around one another, even back before Jiyoon came into the picture.”

“But, she did, and that’s what matters, Taehyung. Now, forget about this nonsense and keep your mouth shut, okay? Get back to makeup, you smudged your eyeliner.”

As Taehyung walks away, you can’t shake what he said. Jungkook is feeling as conflicted as you are? That’s not possible. He moved back home so he and Jiyoon could work things out. There is no room for you and what’s going on in your head in that equation. You might be on the outs with Jiyoon, but that doesn’t give you the right to let your ‘feelings’ get in the way of Jungkook’s happiness.

Right?

You puff out your cheeks, trying not to voice another complaint as you follow along the dirt path behind Jungkook. He wouldn’t tell you more than to meet him at the park and wear something cute. So, here you are, another day and in another sundress, this one a solid turquoise color with a scalloped neckline.

“How much farther are we going? I’m six months pregnant, and if I walk much farther, you’re going to owe me a foot massage.”

Jungkook laughs, tossing a look of pure carefree delight over his shoulder at you. “I promise it’s not much farther, just over this rise. And if you want a foot massage, all you have to do is ask.”

“You’ll owe me two, then,” you grumble to yourself.

All your complaints dry to dust on your tongue as you finally crest the top of the rise in the path, coming to stand beside Jungkook. Spread out before you is an entire field of wildflowers. All of varying colors, their stalks long and willowy in the light breeze blowing off the ocean beyond.

The deep blue water laps and kisses at the distant shoreline, the roar of the surf soft from this distance. It’s a breathtaking sight, the sun bright and warm overhead, glittering along the glassy surface before scattering into a dance as the waves break on the golden sand. The wildflowers wave in the wind as if to cheer on the waves’ dance of the tides.

“Do you want that foot massage now or later? Jungkook asks, his voice soft with his own awe.

You turn to him, forcing your eyes away from one dazzling sight to focus on another. His hair feathers across his forehead, tossed about by the intermittent ocean breeze. A hint of salt licks along your senses, carrying with it the soft, fragrant notes of the wildflowers.

“What are we doing here?”

His eyes meet yours, and his mouth tilts in a smile. “I thought it might be nice to take some pictures. If you’re okay with that, that is. Dani is planning some elaborate maternity shoot for Jiyoon this weekend, and it’s apparently girls only. She wants to do a second one with me when she’s further along. But, that doesn’t matter right now, I just thought…well, we could do a maternity shoot for you. If you want. No pressure, we can just enjoy the view if you’d rather not.”

That conversation you had with Taehyung a week ago threatens to spill out. Is Jungkook feeling as conflicted as you are right now? If you say yes to the maternity shoot, does that mean you’d rather not just spend the time with him? If you say no to the maternity shoot, does that mean you only want to spend the time with him and, therefore, might be crossing some sort of invisible line in the sand?

Is it possible to do both? You wait for the wave of guilt to hit at having such a thought about Jiyoon’s husband. But, it doesn’t come. If anything, you feel a light giddiness at the fact Jungkook thought of all of this for you.

“We can always take some photos and then enjoy the view?” you offer, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible.

Jungkook swings the bag he was carrying off his shoulder. “I think my view will be good either way,” he counters with a pleasant, teasing tone.

Did he just call you a good view? You try to not let that go to your head. Clearly, he’s just being polite to the woman carrying one of his babies.

“Sure,” you laugh, playing it off. “What do you want me to do?”

He pulls out a large DSLR camera and a tripod which he sets on the ground beside his bag. “Just act natural. Pretend the camera isn’t here.” You catch his smirk behind the camera before you roll your eyes, trying to suppress your own smile. The sound of the shutter clicks, and you try to push everything else out of your mind.

Jungkook moves like a natural with the camera, crouching and turning this way and that in order to capture the best angles as he follows you through the meadow of wildflowers, the ocean at your side in the distance.

“The golden hour is coming.” You glance back at him over your shoulder and see the absolute adoration in his eyes as you know the sun is silhouetting your body, accentuating your bump. The shutter clicks in quick succession.

Jungkook lowers the camera, and the adoration that was there moments ago turns into what you can only describe as uncertainty. “Would you be okay taking some with me?”

“Like, with you in them?”

“Yeah, but only if you’re comfortable with that.”

His consideration really knows no bounds. “Of course, I’m okay with that. He’s your baby, after all.”

“But it’s your body,” he says pointedly. All you can do is nod, watching as he returns to his bag and retrieves the tripod.

Jungkook sets up the stand, screwing the base holder into his camera before snapping it in place atop the tripod. He plays with the angles and height before nodding to himself, satisfied.

“I didn’t realize you knew so much about photography.” It shouldn’t surprise you, but Jungkook spends most of his time in front of a camera and not behind one, so it never clicked before.

He approaches you. The casual white button-down he is wearing open over a light blue tank top is a nice coincidence—a perfect match to your dress. At least, you think it’s a coincidence. It’s not like Jungkook knew you were going to wear this dress today. He plucks one of the wildflowers before tucking it in behind your ear, the feather-soft petals tickling your temple.

“I guess you can add it to my list of secret talents.”

“Just how many hidden talents do you have?” One of your brows rises, and a cheeky smile slants your lips.

His eyes hold yours as he sinks down to his knees in front of you, causing your smile to slip and your teasing cheek to be replaced with mild alarm.

“They wouldn’t be secret if I shared them all with you just yet.” One of his hands comes up to cup the side of your belly. “Is this okay?” he asks, completely throwing you off with the sudden change in subject.

You have to work your tongue inside your mouth to gather enough moisture so you can swallow before answering. “That’s fine.”

“Relax. Act natural, remember?”

Sure. Only there’s nothing natural about what’s happening. No matter where you stand with Jiyoon right now, you know for a guaranteed fact that she would have a problem with this. The way Jungkook looks like he’s worshipping at your feet, the fervent love shining in his eyes as they trace the contours of your belly.

You clear your throat. “Do you have the camera on a timer?”

“It’s set to take a photo every few seconds for the next ten minutes. Tell me if any of this makes you uncomfortable.”

His other hand presses to the other side of your belly, and his forehead comes to rest right below your navel. “It’s not uncom—oh,” you laugh, the action shaking your body slightly.

Jungkook peers up at you with eyes wider than you’ve ever seen before. “Was that…what I think it was?” The bump comes again, and he snaps his eyes to your belly, his mouth forming a giant smile. “It was, wasn’t it?”

“He’s saying hi to his father,” you murmur softly, heart melting at the pure elation on Jungkook’s face.

“Hi, baby,” Jungkook coos, and the little one moves again, making you mirror Jungkook’s smile. Your heart jerks in your chest when Jungkook presses his lips to your belly, planting a kiss where his forehead once rested.

You know it’s probably wrong, and you should ask him to stop, but you can’t bring yourself to break this spell—not yet, at least. If this is something you can give Jungkook, then you’ll let him have it. It’s not like anyone else is going to see these photos, anyway. This pregnancy isn’t really yours to celebrate, not like this.

But you decide to enjoy it for as long as you can—your own private celebration. Jungkook might not belong to you, and that’s something you accepted a long time ago, but these moments will be yours to hold forever—even if the baby won’t be.

💔💔💔

Jungkook

The weeks following moving back in have Jungkook questioning so much about his life. Maybe it’s just the raw vulnerability of what happened between him and Jiyoon, but Jungkook feels like he’s been living on the edge of sanity. Even if it was a lie, it still planted a small seed of doubt in his mind. One that he whole-heartedly feels guilty for and wishes would go the fuck away.

He blames it for the way he eyes Jiyoon’s phone any time it chimes or the way he’s tempted to pick it up when she’s in the shower. It’s not that he wants to go through it, not really…only, actually, he does. He wants to give himself assurances, confirm that there is nothing on there that she’s hiding.

Jungkook knows Jiyoon has many clients who constantly need her attention. It’s no different than you; he knows that. You seem to always be getting a stream of messages, emails, or phone calls whenever he’s around you. That’s just part of the job. Yet…yet, Jungkook can’t seem to shake the desire to just check, to be certain.

It doesn’t help that he’s caught Jiyoon on the phone in the middle of the night. He never let her know he saw her or heard her girlish giggles. But each instance has only added to his mounting paranoia, to the point that he does what he’s promised himself he’d never do.

He looks through her phone.

And the guilt that consumes him tenfold when he finds nothing incriminating at all has him knocking on the door across the hall in an effort not to lose his mind completely.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” Jimin answers the door in a pair of low-slung silk pants and no shirt. His hair is mussed, but if the equally shirtless man standing behind him is any indicator, it’s not from sleep.

“Is Taehyung here?”

Jimin gestures for Jungkook to come in. “Yeah, he’s in his studio. This is my friend, Hoseok. Hoseok, this is Jungkook. He’s one of the OG models from Kim Exclusives.”

“How’s it going?” Hoseok says, a smirk tugging at his lips as Jimin palms his hip.

Jungkook just nods, skirting around them and heading down the hall to Taehyung's studio. It’s one of the spare rooms turned into an art space where Taehyung likes to lose himself in his spare time.

After a few moments, his knock on the door is answered. Taehyung is wearing a linen smock, the front of which is splattered with paint of varying degrees of drying.

“Jungkook.” Taehyung’s brow pinches. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m about to go fucking crazy is what I’m doing here.”

Giving him a once over, Taehyung lets Jungkook into the room and flicks his hand at an empty stool. “I should start charging you by the hour. What’s the going rate of therapists these days?”

“I’ll buy you one of those fancy bottles of soju that you like so much,” Jungkook sighs, dropping onto the hard surface of the stool.

“Deal. Now, out with it, before you ruin my groove here.”

Taehyung sprawls out on a worn-out leather chaise, the edges cracked and dappled in paint. His eyes remain on Jungkook. Despite looking like he could care less, Jungkook knows Taehyung is being attentive, and a better friend than he probably deserves.

“I think something is going on with Jiyoon.”

“Such as?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure if it’s just my paranoia because of what she said all those weeks ago, or if I’m just seeing things where I want to see them and turning innocent shit into malicious things…I feel like I’m going insane.”

“Continue,” Taehyung encourages, making a ‘come on’ motion with his hand.

Jungkook takes a slow breath, using the moment to collect his thoughts. “I’ve found Jiyoon on the phone at weird hours, in the middle of the night. I would think she’s just talking to a client, and maybe she is, but the way she giggles and talks…it just sounds like, fuck, like the way she used to talk to me. And I know that sounds insane, and I’m probably making something out of nothing, but it’s just so weird. Maybe I never noticed it before, but it’s happening all the time.”

“Hmm.” Taehyung makes a thoughtful sound before gesturing for Jungkook to keep going.

“Her phone is constantly going off, and I keep seeing the same name pop up: Dohyun Kim. I know he’s an actor, and he’s contracted under Kim Exclusives, but I don’t know much else. I’m not really part of the actor's circle. And he could be her client. In fact, I’m pretty sure he is. I just…why is she on the phone with him at 2 AM giggling like she has a crush?”

“Is that all that’s bothering you?” Taehyung asks in a way that tells Jungkook he wants to hear everything before giving his opinion or any advice.

Jungkook rubs the heels of his palms over his eyes before giving Taehyung a tired look. “No,” he says so softly that Taehyung has to lean forward to hear him. “I’ve been experiencing these feelings…and it makes me feel like such a hypocrite. I’m such a fucking asshole, worried that Jiyoon is lying to me when I might as well be lying to her.”

“About?” Taehyung prompts.

“I can’t stop thinking about her,” Jungkook confesses, his voice even softer than before.

“A certain manager who is carrying your baby?”

“Yeah. Dammit, Taehyung. What am I doing? I’m married, for fucks sake!”

Taehyung leans back and crosses an ankle over his knee. “You realize you’re just human, right? You just spent several days thinking the woman you’ve been in love with and shared a life with for over six years had betrayed you. Even if it was a lie, that shit still hurts and is going to leave a lasting mark, man. You can’t be expected to simply shrug it off and continue like life is normal. Your life is anything but normal. For one, your wife, who supposedly has been unable to have kids for years, suddenly pops up pregnant just weeks after you impregnate her best friend. I don’t know about you, Jungkook, and I’m no genius with numbers, but the math isn’t mathing. And for two, it doesn’t surprise me if you’re feeling a bit more connected to the one woman who hasn’t lied to you about a baby.”

“Jiyoon didn’t lie, though—”

Taehyung cuts off Jungkook’s rebuttal. “She did lie. At least, if the baby is yours, then what she said about it not being was a lie, right?”

Jungkook presses his lips into a thin line because he can’t argue with that. Technically it was a lie, if…

“What do you mean ‘if the baby is mine’?”

Leaning forward, Taehyung drops his foot back to the floor and rests his elbows on his knees. “I’m going to say this in the nicest way I possibly can. Married women don’t giggle on the phone with a client at 2 AM. If she’s on the phone with her mom, sure. Her sister? Absolutely. Dani? I’d believe it. But, if you’re telling me she’s on the phone giggling with Dohyun Kim, a client, at 2 AM…I’d say it sounds like you have a problem.”

Cold chills pop up along Jungkook’s arms and down the back of his neck. “Okay,” he says slowly, trying to let his brain process everything Taehyung just said.

“And then there is the issue with your boss,” Taehyung continues as if he didn’t just drop a bomb of realization on Jungkook. “You’re clearly into her, and don’t give me that look. You’re acting the same way you did when you first got signed on with Kim Exclusives. In case you’ve forgotten, you were so smitten with your new manager that you made the rookie mistake of talking to her boss about your crush and nearly got released from your contract. It was only because Namjoon added Jiyoon to your management profile that you were allowed to stay on with them. Jiyoon knew you had a thing for her friend, so she did her best to weasel her way into your heart. Perhaps she wasn’t as successful as she might have thought, it seems.” Taehyung’s eyes flick over Jungkook in silent appraisal. “Yeah, not all that successful at all. Looks like you got a lot to think about, my friend.”

Sighing, Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “You know, I came over here to get your help, not have you complicate it even more.”

“It doesn’t seem all that complicated if you ask me. In fact, it all seems pretty clear to me…you just have to want to see it.”

That’s it, though, isn’t it? Jungkook is afraid he already can see it…the light you provide reveals a lot about the darkness he’s been blinded by. He can’t help but think back to the night he held your hand as you lay there on your bathroom floor, having just done one of the most selfless things any one person could do for another.

Some might say that’s a different kind of love, a different kind of affection…but what if it isn’t? What if it was just pulling back the curtain on something that was always meant to be?

💔💔💔

A shadow falls across your desk, causing you to pause in responding to the text message you just received from Jungkook confirming that he’ll be able to attend your thirty-week appointment that’s coming up.

You look up, meeting the cold gaze of your once best friend. Things have been cordial between you and Jiyoon, but neither of you has exactly made much of an effort to actually patch things up. If it wasn’t for Jungkook—if it wasn’t for the baby in your belly that’s growing for her—you’d probably have washed yourself of her friendship completely.

The conversation you had with Jungkook last night still hangs over you like a raincloud. You talked about the legal papers that you’ve yet to sign. The ones that would give all legal rights over to Jungkook and Jiyoon. He wants you to wait to sign them only after the baby is born, just in case. Just in case of what, he didn’t elaborate on. But, it’s becoming clearer to you that despite Jungkook attempting to mend their relationship, not everything is as pretty as it may seem on the outside when it comes to them.

“Is there something I can do for you?” you ask, setting your phone down on your desk. Jiyoon’s eyes follow the device, narrowing slightly before you click the power button to turn off the display. Maybe it was a mistake to make your phone background one of the few maternity photos Jungkook sent you as a taste of what was to come, the rest waiting for him to finish editing them.

You expect her to comment on the photo, but instead, she asks, “Are you really having a baby shower?”

“What are you talking about?”

“What’s this?” she asks, handing you a small folded card.

You take it. It’s white on the back and blue on the front with a small carriage with a bear inside of it. At the top, in silver lettering, it says ‘Join Us’. The inside boasts a small message with a time and date.

While you don’t want to throw Jungkook under the bus on this one, it was technically his idea. You tell Jiyoon as much. “Jungkook thought it would be a good idea. Just some clients and close friends—”

“But, what do you need a baby shower for? It’s not even your baby.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “You act like I’m not aware of that. You realize that anything I get is going to be for the baby, regardless of where he ends up living. But, this isn’t even really a baby shower—” you shake the folded invitation “—it’s just a pregnancy shower. As in, an opportunity for people to maybe gift me the things I’m going to need during recovery after I have him.”

Anger twists her lips, and her nostrils flare as she stares down at you. “You didn’t think to maybe include me in this?”

Shoving the invitation back at her, you throw your hands up. “I’m not the one who planned it. Take that up with your husband, Jiyoon. This was all his idea. So, if you want to squawk and fume at someone, it’s not me. Now, if you please, I have some work to do.”

“Sure, okay. Blame Jungkook for this. That’s so like you, putting the blame off on someone else.”

Jiyoon takes a startled step backward as you shoot up from your seat. “You need to back off and leave me alone.”

Not wanting to face this any longer, for the good of your own mental health, you skirt around her and head to the breakroom. You occupy your hands by mixing a flavor packet into a bottle of water you grab from the fridge.

You should have known better, though, that you could escape this without actually leaving the entire building because you feel her presence behind you before her words slice right into your soul.

“I’ll back off when you stop trying to make everything about you! You don’t need a party for people to bring you things. You’re just using my baby to fill the void in your life. I knew it from the day you agreed to this nonsense with Jungkook. You’re so desperate for something that you were willing to get fucking pregnant, by my husband…do you realize how stupid that is? You’re a fucking joke, and I can’t wait for you to have that baby so I can make sure he’s not raised by some pathetic little girl.”

The ringing in your ears intensifies as seconds pass, stretching the silence in the breakroom. Dani’s tittering laugh breaks the dam holding back your tears as she saunters into the room.

“Aw, Jiyoon, you made her cry.” Dani’s words follow you out the door and to the elevator.

You barely register passing by Taehyung as you enter the elevator. His eyes meet yours, and you see his lips moving, but the door closes before your brain can comprehend what he may have said.

This is it, the moment you’ve been trying to avoid for so long—the moment you shatter into oblivion.

💔💔💔

Jungkook

Taehyung said it was an emergency, and that Jungkook needed to meet with him immediately when he called a few minutes ago. Jimin let Jungkook into their condo, and now he’s waiting for Taehyung in his studio. There wasn’t much Taehyung would say over the phone, but by the tone of his voice, Jungkook knows it’s bad.

Jungkook is tempted to text you again, just to check in to see how you’re doing and if you’re free after work, even though he texted you only an hour or so ago. He finished editing the maternity photos this morning, and he’s excited to show them to you. But he’s waiting for the right time to do that. Jiyoon texted him not long ago to let him know that she’ll be home for dinner, but maybe if he plays his cards right, he can meet with you before that.

Just as he pulls out his phone to send you the text, the studio door swings open, and a wild-eyed Taehyung storms in, chest huffing.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Jungkook asks, standing up from the stool he was sitting on.

“Nope, sit back down. You need to be seated for this. Fucking hell, this is a mess.” Taehyung paces in front of Jungkook, periodically gripping fistfuls of his hair, making the thick chestnut waves go wild. “I need a drink,” Taehyung mutters under his breath before making a beeline for the small bottle of bourbon he keeps tucked behind some of his paint supplies in a cabinet.

“Tae, you’re starting to scare me. What’s wrong?”

Taehyung takes a deep swill straight from the bottle before shoving it at Jungkook. “You’ll want some, too.”

Jungkook slowly takes the bottle, but instead of drinking, he sets it off to the side. “Seriously, Taehyung. What’s going on?”

Throwing his hands up, Taehyung rounds on Jungkook. “It’s your goddamn wife, JK.”

“My wife? What are you talking about?”

“Jungkook. Okay—” Taehyung rubs a hand over his mouth and drops onto the stool beside the one Jungkook is sitting on. “Look. I’m going to tell you something—I seem to be doing that a lot lately—and your first instinct is going to be to not believe me—I know that. But I really need you to listen and know that I wouldn’t be telling you this if I hadn’t heard it directly from her mouth.”

“Umm…okay.”

“Promise me that you’ll listen.”

The look of pure devastation on Taehyung’s face has Jungkook nodding. “Okay, I promise to listen.”

In a whisper so soft Jungkook isn’t sure he hears him correctly, Taehyung says, “The baby…it isn’t yours. She wasn’t lying about that, apparently.”

“You can’t be serious,” Jungkook balks, feeling instantly incensed. Though, whether his anger is at Taehyung or not, he’s not sure.

“You promised you would listen. Now, listen to me. I went by the office today after lunch, and as I was leaving, I could tell something had happened.” He sighs your name, “I passed her as I was getting off the elevator and it was clear she was upset over something. I overheard that bitch Dani laughing in the breakroom, so I went in that direction, knowing she probably had something to do with it. But…I didn’t expect—what I didn’t expect was that I’d catch the tail end of a whispered conversation between Dani and Jiyoon. Their heads were pressed together, but Dani’s big mouth is loud even when she’s whispering. She was asking Jiyoon if she had told that fucker Dohyun that the baby was his or not. From what I could piece together from the rest of what I heard, Jiyoon’s baby is his, but he doesn’t want anything to do with it because he’s married with two kids of his own already! I knew you were on to something with your suspicions, but fuck.”

Jungkook knows he should react a certain way right now. Yet, he can’t seem to muster up the anger and indignation that should be swallowing him whole. If anything…if anything, what he feels is something akin to relief. He can’t help but wonder if that makes him a bad person.

If Taehyung had told him this months ago, Jungkook would have probably punched his best friend in the face and called him every name in the book. But now—he almost feels numb when he considers the fact that Jiyoon was telling the truth a few weeks ago. Maybe it’s because he used up all of his anger and resentment then that there is none left now, when it seems to matter the most.

It doesn’t help that Jungkook’s felt like he was on the outside looking in ever since he moved back home. Jiyoon might have been overly enthusiastic, but she was still firmly on the other side of the invisible line that Jungkook only realizes now that he drew for himself.

“I need to go,” Jungkook says quietly.

“Hey.” Taehyung grabs Jungkook’s arm as he slips off his stool. “You call me if you need me, okay?”

“Thanks.”

Jungkook moves swiftly, almost blindly. He goes across the hall, throws some clothes in a bag, and collects his toothbrush from the bathroom before he’s on the move again.

“Hello?” At the first sound of your scratchy voice, Jungkook’s mind instantly switches gears. His problems are immediately inconsequential to whatever is ailing you.

“Where are you right now?”

You sniffle and clear your throat before answering. “I went home early. Why? Is everything okay?” You’ve been crying. Clearly, things are not okay, and Jungkook won’t be able to deal with his issues until he takes care of you first.

“No, everything is not okay. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Jungkook is out of breath by the time he’s knocking on your door, having sprinted from his car straight up the stairs of your building because the elevator was taking too long.

The door swings open before Jungkook can bring his knuckles forward to knock a second time. You don’t protest when he wraps his arms around you and ushers you back so he can close the door.

“You said everything wasn’t okay.” Your voice is muffled by your face pressed against his chest. “What’s going on?”

“That’s not important right now. Tell me what’s got you so upset,” Jungkook urges, releasing you just enough that you can look up and meet his worried gaze.

You shake your head, more tears finding their way onto your cheeks. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jungkook moves you over to the couch and helps you sit down, kneeling at your feet with your hands clasped in his. “Please, tell me.”

He hates the way your shoulders tremble, and every tear that tracks down your cheeks is another blow to his chest. He’s never seen you this upset before, so he knows it’s something bad…something that Jiyoon caused if what Taehyung said was any indicator. But he needs you to tell him; needs you to open up and say it.

“I don’t want to upset you,” you whisper, the words breaking Jungkook’s heart because, of course, you would try to put his feelings before your own wellbeing. You’re far too good for him, for any of them, really.

He squeezes your hands. “I promise, you can say whatever it is you need to say, and it’ll be okay.”

Jungkook listens to you, his anger and horror at such vile things growing with every confession you release. Once you finish explaining what happened at the office today, you surprise him by including other incidents that he wasn’t aware of, like that one lunch you’ve tried so hard to forget.

“I don’t know why I didn’t reach out to you then, see if you were actually going along with the whole ‘there are options’ thing. I mean, an abortion? Why the fuck would I abort this baby just because Jiyoon so happened to get pregnant. It was something I had completely forgotten about, or maybe just intentionally blocked out, until today. Fucking hell, Jungkook, she practically told me to get rid of it because it wasn’t needed since she’s pregnant…who does that? I’m sorry. I know she’s your wife, and you love her…but I can’t do this. I can’t, in good faith, have this baby and let her take him.” You begin to sob in earnest, your words turning into barely coherent pleas and apologies.

If his heart wasn’t broken before, it’s completely fissured through now. “Hey, it’s okay, “ he tries to soothe you, sliding onto the couch beside you and gathering you into his arms.

Jungkook wants to scream, rant, and rave at the world for how cruel and unfair life can be sometimes. But, mostly, he feels a deep sense of guilt in having been the one to start this whole thing. If it wasn’t for him, you’d not be pregnant right now. If it wasn’t for him, Jiyoon might not be the raging bitch she has seemingly become. Maybe…just maybe—

“Stop,” you whisper. “Stop blaming yourself, I can hear the guilt in your head. None of this is your fault, Jungkook.”

He knows that’s not true, but also that there is no sense in trying to explain how much it is his fault. The best he can do right now is try to make it hurt less. “I’ll be right back,” he tells you, soothing a hand over your hair and down your back. “Your hands are freezing, I’m going to grab a blanket.”

You nod against his shoulder and relax your arms as he pulls away. The sobs have mostly subsided, but Jungkook can tell you’re far from being okay. Not wanting to waste another moment, he disappears down the hall and into your room to retrieve some comfort items and the fuzzy blanket you keep folded over the end of your bed.

When he turns, items in hand, to go back to you, he stops just short of the doorway. The sound of a familiar voice drifts to him from down the hall. Dread pours down his spine and prickles over his skin in a thin sheen of sweat.

Jiyoon is here.

💔💔💔

“Where is he? I know he’s here!”

It’s like watching a sitcom. The timing’s far too impeccable, and all that’s missing is the background laugh track. As soon as Jungkook disappears into your room, there’s a knock on the front door. Jiyoon’s the last person you expect to be standing there. Yet, here she is, her hands firmly planted on her hips and her enraged eyes slicing you from head to toe.

“It might help if you explained who you are looking for.” You know who she means, but you can’t help being purposely obtuse out of sheer spite.

She raises her hand and jabs her forefinger in your face. “Don’t play stupid with me. You know who! Jungkook. My husband.”

You take a slow breath, your eyes barely cutting to the side and beyond Jiyoon. Jungkook is peeking through your doorway, and you know he’s about to make himself known to her. His eyes meet yours, and you shake your head subtly, hoping he understands.

“If he is your husband, then why would he be here at my home?”

Jiyoon sneers. “You think you’re so goddamn cute, don’t you? I know what the two of you have been up to. I found the proof of your little love affair on his laptop, so don’t even try me. Tell me where he is, and I won’t have to make you cry again.”

You have absolutely no idea what kind of proof Jiyoon thinks she has found, but seemingly, there is something lost in translation somewhere. “Proof? What the hell are you talking about? I’ve done nothing with your husband that you, yourself, didn’t approve of.”

“That’s hilarious,” Jiyoon laughs mockingly. “Because I never wanted any of this to happen! I never wanted fucking kids to begin with! I only went along with it because it was what Jungkook wanted, and I knew he’d leave me if I told him the truth!” Her voice comes out loud and shrill, the words taking you by surprise. “But, obviously, he’s not the one I have to worry about, is he? I should have known from the moment you agreed to this nonsense that you were trying to worm your way into his life. How dare you try to ruin my marriage!”

“You…what? You never wanted kids? Jungkook wouldn’t leave you over that! He loves you, even when you’re being a complete and utter crazy person! You think I’m trying to break up your marriage? What the hell?”

She throws her hands up. “And you call yourself my best friend! What a fucking joke. No, I never wanted kids! Why would I want to give up my perfect body and my perfect life to raise some snot-nosed, grubby-handed, little brats?! I only ever went along with it because that’s what Jungkook wanted, what he begged for like a sad little puppy! Though I guess he didn’t have to beg you much, did he? You willingly went to him like a bitch in heat.”

“Jiyoon, what the hell are you even talking about?!”

She continues on as if you haven’t spoken, “I bet you feel so high and mighty, having given him exactly what he wants. That was the start of your whole plan, right? How you’ve plotted to get him to leave me? I should have just saved you the trouble and told him myself. Though, maybe he’s just too dense to realize it, because, I mean, come on. Years of supposed infertility?” she laughs again, completely humorless. “Am I just surrounded by idiots?”

There isn’t enough moisture in your mouth to speak comfortably, but you force the words out anyway, “But, you’re pregnant now. How can you say that—”

“Accidents happen! If I had known I’d get so shit-faced the weekend I found out that you were pregnant that I’d forget to take my pills on time, I’d not have let Dohyun touch me!”

You rock back on your heels, completely thrown off by her blatant admission. “Dohyun? What the hell did you do, Jiyoon? What the hell are you talking about?”

The person you once considered your closest friend throws her head back and laughs, the sound echoing from the ceiling. It’s not a humorless laugh like before, it’s full of incredulity and surprise.

“I did what any miserable woman does when their husband spends more time dreaming about babies than he does about his own wife. I found my own happiness!”

“I—I don’t understand…you love Jungkook!”

Jiyoon titters, clicking her tongue at you. “You’re so naive. Love is not real. Whatever fucked up little fantasy you have in your head about Jungkook, it’s not real. He doesn’t love you, just the same as he doesn’t love me. How I ever was friends with you, I’ll never understand. You’re so pathetic. Your delusions about Jungkook come from the fact he put a baby in you on the goddamn floor of your bathroom! I mean, come on, where is your self-respect?! If you think just because you’re birthing a child for him that it means something more, then you’re far dumber than I’ve ever given you credit for. Look at you, just look at you! Never in a million years would someone like Jungkook want someone like you if there wasn’t some sort of transaction involved! He’s mine and he’s so far gone for this baby—” she gestures to her stomach “—that he’ll never leave me no matter what. And if you think to keep that baby from him—” her hand flicks to your stomach “—you and I both know he’ll hate you forever.”

“You’re wrong, Jiyoon.” Whether Jungkook has feelings for you or not, you know nothing has happened between the two of you. And you sure as hell know that Jungkook doesn’t just care about the baby…at least, you don’t think it’s just that. “You’re not going to get away with this. Jungkook will see through your lies!”

You have to take several steps back as Jiyoon crowds into your space. “If you even think to say anything to him or to anyone else, for that matter, I will ruin you. You know I have friends in high places, far more than you do. I will make you regret every decision you’ve ever made. Now, I’m going to leave here, and if you see my husband, be a good girl and tell him to come home. Got it?”

“Why don’t you tell me yourself?”

Jungkook’s voice startles both of you, and you watch as the color drains from Jiyoon’s face. Her pouty lips open in horror. She turns slowly away from you to face Jungkook, who is now standing on the other side of the living room, his arms crossed and his eyes laser-focused on her.

“W-what are you doing here?” she asks, her body language morphing from surprise to defensive right before your eyes. “I knew he was here! You lying bitch, how dare you?!”

Before she can round on you and change the narrative once more, Jungkook quickly moves into the room and steps in front of you. “I think you need to leave,” he tells her. “Now, before you say anything else to dig your hole even deeper.”

“I don’t know what you think you heard—”

“I heard enough, Jiyoon. We both did. Leave while you have some dignity still intact, lest you forget those friends that you have in high places are really mine.”

Jiyoon at least has the grace to allow her tears to fall, showing the first sign of a genuine emotion other than rage since she stepped foot into your apartment.

“If you’d just let me expla—”

“Jiyoon,” you cut her off this time. “Leave before I call the police. Please.”

Her eyes flick between you and Jungkook. Without another word, she turns and leaves. Jiyoon might have hurt you, but you still feel the sting of your friendship crumbling. She wasn’t always good to you, may have even been downright terrible, but she was still someone you cared about for a very long time.

And you know if you’re feeling like this, Jungkook must be having it even worse. All those things she said, the lies…the deceit…dear god, everything.

“Jungkook,” you hesitate. “Are you okay?”

He blinks a few times and turns back to look at you. There are unshed tears in his eyes that give you a glimpse into what he might be feeling, but other than that, his face is completely unreadable.

“I’m not the one I’m worried about,” he tells you. “I need to know if you’re okay. Everything she said about you…about me, you have to know that none of it is true.”

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t somewhat believe her. Ever since she said what she did at the office, about you being so desperate to fill the void in your life that you agreed to carry a baby—your first and maybe only baby—for someone else. Someone that you care about, sure, but not for yourself…you had absolutely no thought or concern for yourself. It was all about making Jiyoon and Jungkook happy. And in that moment, you realized she was right about at least one thing; you were desperate enough to give away something so sacred for…the chance at feeling something? Pathetic.

“I…I don’t know.”

Jungkook’s arms catch you around the waist, and you realize your knees have given out. “Whoa, let’s get you on the couch.” He takes up the same position he had earlier, kneeling at your feet after you’ve sat. The touch of his skin against yours is soothing, and comforting, as he cups your face and lets his eyes roam over your features. “Tell me what’s going on in your head.”

The last thing you want to do right now is tell Jungkook your thoughts, but you find yourself opening up to him, letting your torrential feelings bubble out in what you’re not sure are even coherent words.

“I agreed to have this baby without thinking of myself. This is my first baby…and I was completely okay with giving it away. What kind of person does that make me? Desperate? Pathetic? Was I really just so starved for a connection that I agreed to do that…? Am I a homewrecker? Did I let your kindness color my perception and create this elaborate delusion that maybe there was something more between us? Or is it just the stupid crush I’ve had on you for years now that is making me think maybe, in the end, things would have been okay and that somehow by choosing my baby, you’d be choosing me, too? No. No, that can’t be it. You don’t feel that way about me. You’re married! Or…at least, you were, or well, still are…to my best—ex-best—friend. And, of course, the only way I could get a guy to notice me was to be laid out on my bathroom floor, willing to have a baby—”

“I’m going to stop you there,” Jungkook says, lightly pressing a finger against your lips. “I’m not saying that what you’re feeling isn’t valid, because you have every right to feel however you feel about things. But, I need to set some things straight, and maybe that will help. Okay?”

He’s talking to you slowly, clearly, and with so much openness in his eyes now that you just want to dive right into them and float away into their espresso-colored abyss.

“Okay.” You swallow hard against the choking feeling in your throat, knowing you need to hear him out before you spiral further.

Jungkook settles on his heels, absently letting his hands, now engulfing yours, gently press against the underside of your belly.

“You,” he pauses to take a deep breath. “You are the most selfless and beautiful person I’ve ever met. I am so sorry that I did not make that clear in the beginning. Even before all of this started, that’s what I thought, and how I felt, and everything in the last seven months has just made me see and feel that even more. I know things are confusing right now, and there is a lot we need to talk about, but I need to make it clear to you…make you understand that you are far more than just this precious baby to me.” Jungkook leans forward and presses a light kiss to your stomach, keeping his eyes on yours. “You mean more to me than that, I just…I was scared to admit that, and we both know things have been crazy lately. I’ll forever be sorry for not saying all that sooner.”

“But…what? I’m confused. Are you thinking straight right now? I mean, that baby…Jungkook, don’t worry about me. I can’t imagine what’s going through your head right now. You can talk to me. Or I can call Taehyung?”

Jungkook chuckles, the sound low and almost sad. “This is exactly what I mean. You’re trying to put me first, worrying about me. Maybe I should be broken up about all of this, but…if I’m being honest, I knew deep down that something was off. Jiyoon has been acting weird, and then Taehyung overheard her and Dani today in the breakroom at the office. It all but confirmed it. But then she had to go and be very…Jiyoon and come over here to point fingers and lay blame, all so she could justify her own guilt over what she’s been doing to me—to us.”

“Oh, Jungkook.” The memory of passing Taehyung on the elevator comes back to you, and the pieces start to fit together. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for. Please don’t feel bad for me. I don’t want to be a victim in this, I don’t want either of us to be. Things might not be perfect, but…I-I don’t regret any of this. I care about you, and if it wasn’t for all of this…” Jungkook trails off, but you think you know what he’s trying to say.

Regardless of how fucked up things are right now, if the world as you know it wasn’t shattered into a million pieces, you might not be able to see the possibilities laid out before you. The possibilities that are right in front of you.

You lean forward and hesitate, poised with your lips a breath's width from Jungkook’s. All you need is a moment to feel that it’s real, that not everything is broken beyond repair. Whether he closes the distance or you do, you’re not sure. But, the tender press of his lips against yours is all the confirmation you need.

In fairytales, a moment like this would be punctuated with fireworks or banding trumpets and beating drums. But, for you, it’s the rapid thumping of your heart and the frisson of butterflies that take flight low in your belly that let you know this is real; that this isn’t broken.

“No matter what happens, we’re in this together,” Jungkook breathes, his words caressing your lips before he moves his mouth against yours again. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, not unless you tell me to.”

“Are you sure you want me to be there?” you ask for maybe the third time since Jungkook helped you into his car.

His eyes flick from the road to yours before focusing back. “Yes. I want you there, more than anyone else. Today is a big day, what if I need an emotional support hug or something?”

He’s teasing you, you can tell. But it still makes you smile and swoon a little. It’s been a couple of weeks since what could easily be described as one of the darkest days of your life transpired. And things are finally starting to feel normal again; or as normal as it can be to have your supposed best friend nearly rip your world apart and come out on the other side with her husband by your side instead of hers.

Another few weeks have managed to fly by before you know it. And in that time, you’ve done a lot of soul-searching and talking—specifically, talking to Jungkook. There has been so much the two of you needed to talk about, both relating to Jiyoon and not. Because, somehow, despite—or maybe in spite of—all the things that have gone wrong, you and Jungkook have found yourselves drawn together closer than ever.

Things have been just a smidge more than casual between you and Jungkook. It’s like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders and you are able to breathe deeply for the first time in a long time. Jungkook is with you and seems to be doing much better as well, the perpetual tension around him dissipating more with each passing day.

You feel like maybe you’re both toeing the same blurred line of figuring out exactly what you are to each other. The feelings are there, there’s no doubting that. It’s just working through it all to ensure you’re both making conscious decisions instead of rash ones that may be influenced by the emotion of it all.

“An emotional support hug or a freedom kiss?”

Jungkook hums thoughtfully, like he’s truly considering your question. You’ve only shared a few more kisses since the one that took place on your couch that night. But Jungkook is not afraid to shower you with affection in other ways, ways that you’re both comfortable with right now. Like how his fingers thread through your hair while you use his tummy as a pillow as you watch a movie on the couch. Or the way he helps you put on your shoes whenever you go out because he knows bending over too far can sometimes make you dizzy.

Sometimes you find yourself wanting to ask him for more, but unsure if he’ll be as open and receptive. You both agreed to not push anything and to allow it to all naturally occur, and develop on its own in a healthy way. You’re fairly certain that you both don’t want to accidentally ruin this before it has a chance to even begin.

“How much would it take for me to get both the hug and the kiss?”

It feels good to laugh, even as Jungkook pulls into the parking lot of his lawyer’s office and the mood grows more somber. There is a reason he’s here, and seemingly a reason you’re here, too.

“You can have both,” you concede with a soft smile. Because, deep down, you know he’ll probably need it; legal separation and then divorce is a nasty process, after all.

Hours and several signatures later, Jungkook looks lighter. There is a bit more bounce in his step as he takes your hand and walks you back outside. The sun is shining and you wouldn’t be surprised to see a rainbow pop up somewhere after the raincloud that just disappeared from over him.

“Well, I’m officially single now. Want to be my girlfriend?”

You can hear the teasing tone in his voice, which makes the surprised look on his face even better when you say, “Of course I would.”

“Wait. Really? You’re being serious?”

“As long as you are.”

Jungkook laughs, the sound like music to your ears after so much turmoil has passed. “You know what? I think I am. I want this,” he says, giving your hand in his a light squeeze. “I’ve wanted you for a while now.”

That light fluttering feeling in your belly that you’ve come to associate with Jungkook swoops in and you swear you can hear those fairytale romance fireworks going off somewhere in the distance as you press up onto your toes and cover his lips with yours.

“I’ve wanted you, too.”

Baby time is swiftly approaching, and with Namjoon’s blessing, you’re taking some time off of work. Or rather, time away from the office. You’ve been working at home, something that was agreed might be best until you come back from maternity leave.

On your last day in the office, it was mentioned by Hyeonwoo that he saw Jiyoon leaving Namjoon’s office, her eyes red and cheeks blotchy. Later, you were told in a private meeting that Jiyoon has been given the same extension of time out of the office, except instead of coming back after maternity leave, she is going to need to find a new place of employment. All things considered, Namjoon hated to have to let her go, but with everything that went down, he had no choice in the end.

You haven’t seen nor spoken with Jiyoon since that day in your apartment. Jungkook has, but only a few times, to take care of legal things. The divorce should be finalized in a few months after Jiyoon’s baby is born. Even though she claims the baby is not his, Jungkook told you that he knows it’s possible. If she could have gotten pregnant by Dohyun, then there might be even the smallest possibility that she could have gotten pregnant by Jungkook instead.

So, with that, he’s requested a paternity test after the baby is born and has also extended some grace to Jiyoon. He’s allowing her to live in the condo until she has the baby, time she’s using to find a new place. Because once her baby is born, the condo will be sold. Which is why you have a stack of emails with more real estate listings waiting for you to have a moment to look through them.

Jungkook presented you with the idea of moving in together about a week ago. He’s already been on a few tours—with you on video chat so you can see, too—and you both know exactly what you want in a home—the place where your son will grow up.

“Hey!” Jungkook calls from the living room. “I’m back.”

You close your laptop and set it off on the bedside table before easing forward on the pillows to sit up straighter. Laying back in bed with your feet propped up tends to help with the swelling, so you’ve been spending some time lounging in bed when you can.

“In here,” you say.

You hear Jungkook’s feet pattering down the hall for a second before his head pops through the doorway, followed by his large frame. “How’s your day been? Just been relaxing?” He comes to sit on the other side of the bed, the side he’s been sleeping on for the last two weeks.

“As much as I can relax,” you sigh, rubbing a hand over your belly. “He’s finally settled down.”

You’re not sure you’ll ever get over the way Jungkook’s face lights up when his eyes sweep over where his son is steadily growing in your body.

“I want to take you to dinner,” Jungkook announces, sliding closer to you.

One of your eyebrows quirks up because clearly he’s excited about something but is trying to keep it to himself by the vibrating energy you can feel emanating from him. “What’s the occasion?”

“Occasion? Do I need an occasion to want to take you out?” His tone speaks volumes.

You give him a playful poke in the ribs, which earns you a lopsided grin, his nose scrunching in that adorable way. “You can take me to dinner on one condition.”

“Anything! Name it.” Jungkook bounces up onto his knees, hands planted on the bed beside you.

With a finger under his chin, you turn his face toward the end of the bed, where your toes are wiggling in invitation. “Please, if you expect me to get out of this bed.”

“Oh-ho, you drive a hard bargain!” he teases. “It would be my absolute pleasure.”

Jungkook crawls down the bed and takes up a position so your feet rest on the tops of his thighs. The instant his thumbs roll across the ball of your left foot, you let out a low groan.

“That feels so good. Now, if only you could do the same to my lower back.” You let out another breathy sound, eyes fluttering shut as Jungkook slowly eases away the ache.

“Your lower back bothering you?”

You nod. “Just a bit.”

Jungkook hums softly, thoughtfully. “I think I have an idea, if you’re okay with trying.”

One of your eyes pops open, and you look at him curiously. “Does it involve getting on the floor with the yoga mat like last time? Because I don’t know if I want to roll around on the floor again.”

“No, no,” Jungkook chuckles. He switches to massaging your other foot. “It’ll be a massage, I swear.”

“No offense, Jungkook, but I’m not sure how you can massage my lower back without me laying flat on my stomach, and well—” you gesture down at your prominent baby bump “—not exactly comfortably possible.”

One of his fingers comes up in the air. “That’s where my idea comes into play. Come on, the worst that can happen is it doesn’t work. What do you say?”

“I say, what the hell, why not? But, if it doesn’t work, you owe me dinner and ice cream.”

“I think I can handle that.” Jungkook’s tone is light and teasing, it almost feels like this is what you’ve always done. Like this delicate, flirty exchange has been a part of your dynamic from the start. What has been mere weeks, feels like years…and you don’t mind that, not one bit.

It helps to thwart any awkward tension as Jungkook helps you up onto your knees with your back to him. His hands are gentle, yet firm, on your hips as he guides them back until you’re practically sitting on top of his thighs.

“If you wanted me to sit in your lap, you know you could just ask, right?” The sassy comment is out of your mouth before you can stop it, earning you a shocked laugh from Jungkook.

His hands give your hips a generous squeeze, thumbs dimpling the curvy skin right above your ass. “I’m trying to remain somewhat of a gentleman here.”

“You may continue,” you say, fully relaxing into his grip.

“Lean forward, just a little, hands on the bed. Keep your back as relaxed as you possibly can.”

To lean forward the way Jungkook wants you to, you have to spread your knees apart so your belly can fit into the space between them. The cotton babydoll dress you’re wearing is probably not the best for this, as the fabric pulls and slips dangerously high.

But the moment Jungkook’s thumbs slide up and begin to press into the sore muscles of your lower back, you’ll do just about anything, as long as he doesn't stop. The flats of his fingers cup your sides, toying along the line of your ribs as his thumbs continue to work up through your mid-back and then back down again.

You let your head hang forward between your shoulders. A low whine gets caught in your throat. “That…is easily the best thing I’ve ever felt.”

Jungkook snorts a laugh. “And you haven’t even experienced all that I have to offer yet.” It almost sounds conversational, but if you didn’t know any better, you’d mistake the underlying heat of his words for something else.

“No,” you agree. “I don’t suppose I have…yet.”

His thumbs pause for a moment, and you can feel the warmth of his breath brush across your shoulders as he exhales heavily. “Ah-um, does that feel better?”

You can tell he’s pulling back, intentionally not taking the bait. But, it’s so hard to tell if it’s because he doesn’t want to or if he’s just trying to respect you and that seemingly invisible line that the both of you have been toeing recently.

“It does.” You push your hips back ever so slightly into his touch. “But, I think it could feel better.”

“Yeah? How so?” Jungkook asks, voice low and full of barely restrained heat.

“You can stop trying to be a gentleman and show me how you really feel about me,” you suggest, peeking at him over your shoulder.

Jungkook looks like a man starved. His eyes are downcast, intent on the way his thumbs are now tracing lazy patterns across the top of your ass and over the curves of your hips. Slowly, his eyes slide up to yours, and the look there makes your heart launch into a frenzy of staccato beats.

One of his hands glides up your spine and comes around to cup your chin, turning your face even further to the side so that when he presses his body against yours, your lips are right there for his.

The kiss starts gently, like all the previous ones you’ve shared. But, soon, that isn’t enough, and you find yourself urging him for more. His tongue slides against yours as you part your lips, welcoming the wet heat of him inside your mouth.

His hands, once so restrained on your hips and lower back, map over every inch of your body that they can reach. Jungkook traces the lines of your shoulders, fingers feather-light as they pinch and pluck over the mounds of your breasts. Your dress rises and bunches as he contours his palms across your thighs and along your sides.

By the time you come up for air, your lips are tingling, and your entire body is alight. “There are many ways I feel about you,” he whispers, lips grazing along your cheek until he’s speaking into your ear. “You make me want to break the world and, in the same breath, remake it in ways inspired by the light you have given me because everyone should experience this—this beauty that you have brought to my life.”

“Words are wonderful,” you tell him, breathless and bold. “But I said show me.”

Jungkook hesitates only a moment, his eyes searching yours, looking for…something. You look at him with everything that you can, hoping he can see the joys and affirmations you have for him.

“Only if you’re certain.” The words drip honey, sweet, and tantalizing. All you have to do is say yes, and you know he’ll hold nothing back.

Gripping the bottom of your dress, you bring it up and over your head before tossing it to the side. “I’m certain.”

Your nipples draw tight, just like the coil in your belly, as you wait with bated breath for Jungkook to react. He doesn’t leave you waiting long, his hands coming around to cup you, toying with the tips of your breasts. Your entire body shudders as he rolls your nipples between his thumbs and forefingers.

“You are so beautiful,” Jungkook praises in a robust, husky tone. “I wonder if you taste as good as you look.”

Your body bends to his will, pliant as he supplicates you before him with your ass in the air. Jungkook slowly peels your panties down, and strings of your wetness cling to the fabric until it pops and leaves streaks of arousal webbing across your thighs. You can’t remember the last time you were this turned on just from kissing and being touched by someone.

However, the way Jungkook tenderly soothes his hands over your body is different from anything you’ve ever experienced. There is a heightened sense of connection and awareness. He ensures you know exactly where he is and how hungry and eager he is to know your body.

“Jungkook,” you draw his name out, the syllables lingering on your lips as Jungkook moves his grip to your ass and squeezes. The pressure pulls at your body, opening you to him.

An appreciative hum sounds from behind you. “I want to make you feel good, but you’re in control, okay?”

You nod against the cool, soft surface of the duvet. “Okay,” you say, knowing Jungkook prefers when you vocalize your understanding when he talks to you, and you hope that carries over even into such an intimate setting.

It seems it does when he groans and whispers, “Good girl.” You only have a moment to smile to yourself at eliciting such a response before all thoughts completely empty from your head when Jungkook licks a thick stripe through your pussy.

“Jungkook!” His name is a moaned prayer, and you’re simply a mortal on her knees, ready to pay any tithe he demands as long as he doesn’t stop.

You’re rewarded with another lick. His nose presses against your body as his lips pluck in tandem with his tongue against your clit, drawing obscene noises from deep in your body.

Everything tingles, and you feel like you’re teetering on the edge almost instantly. Your body is primed and aching for more, having been starved of such pleasure for so long.

“Shh,” he soothes when you whimper at the loss of his mouth against you. “I want this to last.”

“No,” you moan. “Please. Please, fuck me. Please, Jungkook! I want to feel you, I don’t want to wait.”

Tears prick at your lashline, and you think you really might cry if he doesn’t put you out of your misery soon. “Then I won’t make you wait. I’m yours, I’m here, I promise.”

You listen to the sound of Jungkook’s belt clinking and the distinct brush of fabric as he pulls off his shirt and works his pants off. Curling to the side, you press your cheek into the mattress and let your eyes drink in his form in all its glory.

Jungkook’s tattoos are something you’ve seen many times; it’s not like he’s never been shirtless for a photo shoot or during wardrobe changes. But seeing them displayed like this? It’s wholly different. He looks like a god, chiseled from marble and lust.

The breath in your chest catches when your eyes slide down. His cock is hard and leaking, bobbing in the air so close to your body. All it would take is for you to rock back on your hips, and you’re certain you could take him into your depths.

As if sensing your intention, Jungkook palms the generous curves of your ass and keeps you firmly in place. “We are going to take this slow. I want to feel every inch of you taking me in. I want to feel the way your body squeezes and flutters as you adjust. And then I’m going to fuck you nice and slow, the way you deserve to be.”

“What I deserve is for you to shut up and fu—uhhh,” your curse turns into a throaty moan when he gives you exactly what you asked for.

The swell of him is decadent, the stretch enough for you to feel it but remaining on just the cusp of pain. It’s the perfect mix of pleasure, making you needy for more.

Jungkook’s whole body shudders against yours. He wraps his arms around you, one across your chest and the other clasped in the dip of your thigh, where his long fingers return to toying over your clit. Your back presses to his chest, leveraging your body in a way that seats you further onto his thick cock.

“Perfect,” he growls in your ear. “You’re fucking perfect. Goddamn, I could cum just feeling you around me.”

You move with him, letting your body rise and fall in sync with his shallow thrusts. It puts pressure in all the right places, and with his fingers still strumming over your clit, your body responds in kind.

“You’re going to make me—” Jungkook swallows your words, devouring you with tongue and teeth as your body succumbs to the pleasure coursing through it.

His grip on you tightens, and you can feel the moment he follows you into the embrace of ecstasy. Jungkook’s moan vibrates through your whole body, his tongue lazily dancing over yours as you both try to regain your bearings.

Somewhere between the foot massage and the orgasm, something clicked. No matter how messy life might be, nothing can take away this feeling of rightness—this feeling that the future is full of healing. For both you and Jungkook. Because perhaps once someone is shattered, the pieces might not quite fit back together as they once were, but they can still be made into something beautiful.

Next Chapter⇾ ⇽Previous Chapter ◅ Back to story masterlist

◅ Back to Main Master List ©️ 2024-05-06 ColorMePurplex2

#jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #dilf jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook imagines #bts smut #bts angst #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts imagines #bangtanwhq #btsfests

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critterbitter · 11 months ago

Note

re: your thoughts on legendaries (which is very cool and based) what’s your take on the differences between legends:arceus giratina and platinum giratina, especially since you defined them as hating the world? specifically the bit where giratina (at least seemingly) actively defended the world from cyrus trying to destroy it, after trying to do the same thing with volo’s help centuries prior?

Weird ghost worm upon yee (AND MORE ART BELOW CUT!)

Anyways, here’s my mad ramblings about Giratina and Arceus’s backstory.

Tldr: Giratina’s a conglomerate of angry souls scorned by Arceus.

(Here’s the playlist. It’s all about worms.)

How it Started.

The original one has chosen favorites over the passage of time. Heroes, legends, protagonists…

Arceus intervenes for those it loves, and the consequences of a god touching the mortal world is devastating in its entirety. One act of divine intervention causes entire civilizations to collapse. One whispered suggestion drives an entire legacy insane.

So Arceus, paralyzed by its love for the mortal world, acts very little, learning from its mistakes. Apathy soaks through every motion. And thus is the way of the world.

But people love the Originator. Religions are born from Arceus’s rare deeds, and generation on generation taught its benevolence. Imagine spending your entire life chasing after that golden light. Imagine knowing its real and there, and it loves you.

Imagine begging it for help, and seeing it turn away when you need it most.

I think those people would feel very abandoned indeed, if they spent their lives worshipping, and receiving no response at all.

Giratina is born from the abandoned, the lost, and the angry. They’re a hundred thousand souls who’s adoration turned to spite. They’re an entity who demands for Arceus to look at them, so they can finally rest.

Arcues can not look at them in full, because if it does Giratina will fade.

(Scio, beloved. For I can not let you go.)

So the Original One banishes the Unwanted Beast into the distortion world, and Giratina seethes, and starves, and screams.

(Here are two truths about the Beast Between Dimensions—

1. Some part of them still loves Arceus. Arceus is their anchor, after all— the sole reason why they exist, why they are. But Arceus can not love it back in a way that matters, and that hurts.

2. Giratina is made of a thousand voices. Some of these voices remember that there’s a world above. They miss it.)

Why Giratina attacked Hisui in PLA:

PLA Giratina’s not a new god, but they’re very, very bitter and barely coherent on a good day. Volo serves as a conduct to help unite the broiling mass of ghosts against Arceus, and thus Giratina’s hatred overcomes any flickering affections they have for the land.

It doesn’t help that Arceus intervened for Hisui, sending Akari to directly stop Volo from summoning Giratina.

(As for Volo, well.

Imagine being a child who was thrown into the future due to Palkia and Dialga’s fits, who learned his people (his world) no longer exist beyond a shadow in the history books and a single, bitter lore keeper.

Volo doesn’t remember his original culture beyond vague imprints and singing praises to Sinnoh, but he knew he was loved, and he knew his family is dust four hundred years in the past. There’s a special sort of rage in him that echoes Giratinas.)

(Why did you abandon my people, Arceus? What kind of god are you, to leave those who love you so callously behind?)

(Maybe some part of Giratina recognizes Volo, beyond a feeling of kinship.

Maybe some part of Giratina grieves because it recognized the child Volo was.)

When Volo gets his pound of flesh, (when he realizes Arceus is not beholden to him, that the inherent alien morality Arceus holds is not a personal slight), Giratina will finally rest.

Anyways what I’m trying to say is: Arceus is never a person, but a nebulous embodiment of the connection shared between pokemon and humans. It tries to experience what it’s supposed to embody, but millennia of watching people be and cease has given it choice paralysis, apathy, and a hoarding issue. If something lasts forever next to it? Good.

Giratina was once a person. (Correction, a LOT of persons.) They don’t think very linearly either, but they have context on mortal matters and are thus the more benevolent and malicious of the two. One day, time will smooth them into something like Arceus. We can only hope the two keep each other in check.

THE DIFFERENCE OF LEGENDS ARCEUS GIRATINA VS PLATINUM PEARL GIRATINA

If the ancient version of giratina is an angry conglomerate of ghosts scorned by Arceus, the modern iteration of Giratina’s a creature that’s more settled in its skin and more assured in its duties. Giratina still has beef with Arceus, but they unionized into one being who’s love of the mortal world has triumphed over its ancestral grudge. One might even postulate they have shifted their anchor from Sinnoh the god, to Sinnoh the place.

((We call this character developement. Good for you, weird ghost worm!))

(((FULL DISCLOSURE, VOLO BEING FROM THE PAST IS INSPIRED FROM FOXFALL. You know. The fic that got me into this fandom. Please give it some love.)))

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dollgxtz · 27 days ago

Text

His Watchful Eye Pt.11

Word Count: 24.4k

Tags: yandere!sylus, sylus x fem!reader, possession, forced pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy, tw if u have tokophobia, broken bones, bloodshed, fighting, manipulation, pet names like, kitten, sweetie, honey, Xavier appears, tw vomiting, nausea, spanking

Taglist: @ngh-ch-choso-ahhhh, @eliasxchocolate, @nozomiaj, @xmiisuki, @sylus-kitten, @its-regretti , @m0onlustre , @ve1vet-cake, @letgobro, @starkeysslvt, @yarafic, @prince-nikko, @leiaglmela @connorsui, @iluvmewwwww75, @biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer, @mysssticc, @babygirl-panda19, @someone-somewheres-stuff, @zaynesjasmine1, @honnylemontea, @altariasu, @the-slytherin-poet, @sorryimakira, @pearlymel, @emidpsandia , @angel-jupiter, @hwangintakswifey, @webmvie, @housesortinghat, @fading-twinkle, @shoruio, @gojos1ut, @solomonlover, @cheesenjam, @elegantnightblaze, @mavphorias, @babylavendersblog, @burntoutfrogacademic, @sinstae, @certainduckanchor, @ladyackermanisdead, @sh4nn, @milkandstarlight, @lilyadora, @depressedwhore, @nyumin, @kiwookse, @anisha24-blog1, @weepingluminarytale

AN: This is on A03! I am SO SO sorry for how long this chapter took. I got super busy with school and Halloween stuff! I hope this long chapter makes up for it. I am Incredibly grateful for all the comments and support you guys leave me, it always warms my heart to see you guys theorizing stuff in the comments and asks! Tysm and enjoy! <33

“Allow me to properly introduce myself this time.” Sylus’s smile was a slow, predatory curl, his words coming out deliberately, each syllable meant to dig beneath Xavier’s skin like shards of glass. “The name's Sylus, as you may know. Head of Onychinus and…” He paused, his gaze locking onto Xavier’s with a smug satisfaction, an unsettling glint of something deeply personal. “The father of the child in your ex-lover’s belly.”

Read Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9 Pt.10 Pt.12

The night sky in the N109 Zone was as dark as always, a dense, inky blackness that seemed to press in from every corner of the room, never letting up, never hinting at dawn. There was no morning light to greet you, only the cold shadows that defined this strange world. You stirred, half-wrapped in the warmth of the blankets, and felt the steady, unfamiliar rhythm of someone’s breathing beneath you.

Slowly, the realization dawned—you were lying against Sylus. How you had come to falling asleep on him, you weren't sure but your head was on his shoulder, his arm draped around you possessively, his breathing soft and even. Fighting the urge to push him away, you shifted slightly, noticing an odd dampness against your cheek. Your mind jolted to full awareness as you realized you had drooled on him in your sleep. A flush of embarrassment crept up your neck, and you went to pull away, but his arm only tightened, holding you closer.

Before you could think of a way to subtly create some distance, you felt him stir. He shifted, his face turning down to look at you, his lips twitching into a gentle, amused smile. He caught sight of the small patch of drool on his shirt, and a soft chuckle escaped him, the sound so warm and gentle that it disarmed you.

“Drooled on me, did you?” he murmured, his voice low, laced with a softness that was almost tender. He didn’t pull back, didn’t seem annoyed or disgusted. Instead, his gaze lingered on you, his eyes holding an unexpected fondness, a warmth that made your heart pound in a way you hadn’t planned on.

You swallowed, resisting the urge to roll your eyes, to snap back at him the way you might have in any other situation. Instead, you managed a shy, embarrassed chuckle, casting your eyes down and willing your blush to fade. It wasn’t part of the act, but somehow it fit.

Follow the plan. Pretend. Play the part.

His hand moved to your cheek, his thumb brushing over the corner of your mouth where a stray trace of drool lingered. He didn’t seem in any rush, his touch featherlight, his eyes focused intently on your lips as if the gesture was intimate and personal.

“There,” he whispered, his voice taking on a softer, almost reverent tone. He continued to brush his thumb over your cheek, his fingers moving slowly, his gaze not leaving yours. “All better.”

Something in his expression made your pulse quicken, a warmth rising in his eyes that was difficult to look away from. His thumb moved along your cheek, brushing down your jawline, and for a brief moment, you thought he might lean in closer. His gaze was so intense, so wrapped up in you that the darkness around him almost softened, making his presence the only real thing in the room.

You had to remember your role, the act you were putting on. The plan. It was the one thing keeping you tethered, reminding you to stay grounded. You met his gaze, let your eyes soften in response, and gave him a small, tentative smile. The expression seemed to thrill him, his hand lingering against your face as though he couldn’t bear to pull away.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it, the words spoken as if he truly cared about the answer.

The question brought a fresh wave of anxiety that you fought to bury. You hadn’t slept well at all. You’d tossed and turned, haunted by nightmares, each one darker than the last. This time, it had been Xavier’s face haunting you, a vision of him twisted in pain as Sylus aimed a gun at him and pulled the trigger without hesitation, without mercy.

Just like Reese.

You shuddered, trying to dispel the image, to push it far from your mind. But Sylus’s eyes were on you, his gaze unwavering, expectant.

“Yeah,” you lied, keeping your voice soft, steady. “I slept fine.”

He narrowed his eyes slightly but seemed pleased with your answer, his lips curving into a warm smile as his thumb traced the edge of your jaw one last time before pulling away. His eyes held a hint of satisfaction as he leaned back, running his fingers through your hair briefly before letting his hand fall away.

“Good,” he murmured. “Your nightmares seemed to be getting worse. I've been worried.”

The words were gentle, genuine, and though every part of you wanted to recoil, to pull away from the kind words, you forced yourself to stay in character. You could feel his fingers brush over your arm as he adjusted the covers around you, his gaze sweeping over you with an intensity that left you breathless.

But the image of Xavier's body, bloodied, limp and losing warmth at your feet lingered, the nightmare vivid, the fear creeping in like an unwelcome guest. Your body shivered involuntarily, and Sylus’s eyes narrowed, his expression shifting from warmth to concern.

“Are you cold?” he asked, his brow furrowing slightly as he scanned your face.

You nodded your head, willing your mind to settle, to push aside the lingering panic from the nightmare. “A little,” you admitted, hoping it would satisfy his curiosity without prompting more questions.

He nodded, his hand brushing your arm again as he stood, glancing toward the thermostat on the wall. “I’ll turn up the heat,” he said, giving you one last reassuring look before moving to adjust the temperature. “No reason for my kitten to be cold.”

As he moved across the room, you allowed yourself to exhale, grateful for the momentary solitude.

He straightened, nodding with approval at the warmer setting, then turned back to you with a final, lingering look. “I’ve got some things to take care of this morning. I’ll be back soon.” His eyes traced over you, as if memorizing the way you looked, and with a slight smile, he slipped out of the room, leaving you in a heavy silence.

You watched him leave, letting go of the breath you didn't realize you were holding once he was out of your sight.

The silence settled in again, thick and suffocating, the shadows creeping back in to fill the space he’d left behind. You let yourself sink into the quiet, gathering your thoughts, steadying your mind. The sound of your ankle chain clinking against the bedframe brought you back to the harsh reality you were living in, the weight of it all pressing down on you like an anchor.

Still, the routine was there to keep you grounded. It was the one thing that hadn’t changed, the one thing you had control over. Make the bed, shower, brush your teeth—small rituals that gave you a sense of order, of stability, in the midst of chaos.

You moved with methodical purpose, your footsteps heavy, the chain rattling softly with each step. As the water cascaded over you in the shower, you closed your eyes, letting the warmth soothe your skin, if only for a brief moment. You scrubbed away the residue of the night, of the nightmares, of Sylus’s touch. But the feeling lingered, a shadow that clung to you no matter how hard you tried to shake it.

Dressing quickly, you moved back into the room and glanced at the mirror, lifting the hem of your dress as you examined your stomach in the faint light. It was still flat, still untouched by any sign of life. You let out a soft, shaky breath, feeling an odd mixture of relief and frustration. Seven weeks—of course, it was too early to show anything. But part of you clung to the hope that maybe, just maybe, there was nothing in there. That it was all some twisted illusion, a nightmare you would eventually wake from.

But as your fingers brushed over the smooth skin, the cold truth seeped into you like ice. This was real. The nausea, the exhaustion, the subtle signs your body was changing. There was no escaping it, no running from it. You were trapped, bound not just by the chain at your ankle, but by the life growing inside you—a life you hadn’t chosen.

You dropped your dress back into place, feeling a bitter lump rise in your throat as you turned away from the mirror. The reflection, the reminders, the confinement of this life—it was all more than you could bear. But the fight wasn’t over. Not yet.

Follow the plan. Pretend. Play the part.

As you moved back toward the bed, your mind hardened with resolve.

You decided to turn to the dresser, your hands instinctively moving over the various clothes folded inside, each piece carefully arranged. A sea of unfamiliar textures, all expensive, soft fabrics that draped around you like a second skin. Not a single item from your past life was here; they were all gifts from Sylus, carefully chosen and arranged as if each outfit could somehow rewrite your story.

As you methodically folded and rearranged each garment, you began to chant silently to yourself. You’re not a captive. You’re not a victim. You’re his fiancée. The words echoed in your mind, a mantra meant to ground you, to remind you of your new role. This wasn’t some hellish confinement—it was an engagement. A proposal. Be his loving fiancée, you told yourself. Separate yourself from who you used to be. Play the part.

Your fingers brushed against the ring on your left hand, the black gems catching the dim light in the room and throwing small glimmers across the wall. The weight of it felt foreign, and yet… part of you welcomed it, felt anchored by its presence. You turned your hand slowly, watching the light play off the stone, as if it held the power to transform you into someone new.

This is my life now. The thought settled over you, heavy and cold. You couldn’t keep existing as who you’d been before, not here, not under his watchful eye. You had to separate yourself, to slip into this role. To survive. To pretend. The ring’s weight grounded you, tethering you to this new identity. The person you’d once been felt like a fading memory, a life left behind in another world.

The clothes in your hands felt heavy, each piece like a part of someone else’s life. You smoothed the silk between your fingers, focusing on the feel, the texture, letting yourself slip into a strange sense of detachment. This isn’t happening, a voice whispered at the back of your mind, but you pushed it down, deep into the pit of your stomach. There was no room for doubt now. You couldn’t let it surface, not when Sylus was watching your every move, waiting for cracks in the illusion you were creating.

The edges of your past life blurred, the memories growing fuzzy. Your apartment, Xavier, the freedom—they felt distant, like someone else’s story. And the more you organized, the more you repeated the silent mantra in your head, the more your past self seemed to slip further away.

You were his fiancée. His bride-to-be. The mother of his child. This was your life now, defined by the lavishness, the isolation, and the shadows of the N109 Zone.

Your thoughts were still scattered when the door creaked back open, pulling you sharply from your daze. Sylus entered, the quiet satisfaction on his face making your pulse spike. He moved closer, his gaze sweeping over you, taking in the change of clothes and the small attempts you’d made to organize your surroundings.

"Honey," he murmured, his voice a practiced warmth that made your skin crawl. "You look beautiful."

The word hung in the air like a heavy weight. Your stomach twisted, a surge of revulsion and defiance bubbling just beneath the surface, but you forced yourself to smile. He can't see through me, you told yourself. Stay calm. Play the part.

“Thank you, Sylus,” you replied softly, keeping your voice even, your eyes lifted to meet his. His gaze searched yours, and for a brief, terrifying moment, you thought he might see the turmoil you were hiding. But his expression only softened as he stepped closer.

The space between you evaporated as he closed the distance, his eyes warm with that disturbingly tender look he often gave you now, as though he could wrap his affection around you like a chain. His hand reached for your cheek, and his lips pressed against yours, soft but with an unmistakable possession. It took every ounce of control to keep yourself from recoiling. His hands moved downward, gliding over the fabric of your dress, then settled on your stomach, his fingers brushing lightly as though he were touching something sacred.

As Sylus’s hand settled on your stomach, your body went rigid, your mind screaming in silent protest. His fingers traced a gentle line along your abdomen, a mockery of tenderness that only amplified the revulsion pooling within you. The warmth of his touch seeped through the thin fabric of your dress, making your skin crawl as though a hundred ants were writhing just beneath the surface. You fought the impulse to pull away, to slap his hand from you. Instead, you forced yourself to endure it, to remain still, to keep the carefully constructed facade from crumbling.

You could almost feel the weight of his intentions pressing down on you with that simple, invasive gesture. His hand, possessive and unyielding, lingered a second too long on the spot that symbolized everything he had taken from you—your freedom, your choices, and now, even your body. The bile rose in your throat, and you had to force it back down, willing yourself to relax against the repulsion twisting inside you.

Sylus’s voice broke the silence, soft and coaxing, almost gentle. “Are you feeling okay?” he asked, his fingers brushing lightly over the fabric of your dress. “Any…changes?”

Your mind flickered back to every nauseous morning, the endless ache that had settled into your bones, the feeling of something foreign growing inside you, unwanted and relentless. But you kept your face passive, breathing shallowly to keep yourself steady, forcing down the loathing that his touch sparked in you.

"Yes,” you replied, your voice barely more than a murmur. “I’m feeling…less sick than usual." You added a faint smile, desperate to keep your revulsion buried beneath it.

His mouth curved into a pleased grin, and he rubbed your stomach with the tenderness that you’d have found sweet—if it wasn’t coming from him. Every brush of his fingers was another reminder of the lengths he’d gone to to keep you here, trapped in this twisted vision of love and control. The more his hand lingered, the more it felt like an iron clamp holding you in place, reminding you of everything he thought he’d secured. His eyes softened, as though he was truly moved by the connection he thought you shared. But beneath that false warmth lay an ownership so complete it turned your stomach.

Sylus’s eyes searched your face, his hand still tracing gentle circles on your stomach. “Good,” he said, voice low, “I was beginning to think the little one would keep giving you a hard time.” He chuckled softly, the sound dark and possessive as he continued to watch you.

You felt the laugh bubbling up in your throat, hollow and strained. It wasn’t funny; nothing about this was funny. But you had to give him something, anything to keep the facade from breaking. The laugh came out small and brittle, but he seemed satisfied enough. The smile lingered on his lips, pleased, like a cat that’s finally trapped its prey.

His gaze shifted again, a contemplative look darkening his features. He paused, his eyes tracing every detail of your face, as though he were trying to read the depths of your soul. You felt your heart race, panic prickling at the edges of your composure. Does he know? you wondered, your pulse pounding in your ears. Can he see through me?

He hesitated, then dropped his hand from your stomach. His face softened, his mouth curving into a gentle smile as he reached for your hand, squeezing it with a quiet affection that sent another shiver of disgust through you. “Breakfast is ready downstairs,” he said, voice calm but tinged with a subtle intensity. “Since we had a deal, you’ll be joining me in the dining room today.”

The words sparked a flame of excitement within you that you kept buried beneath a carefully neutral expression. Finally, you thought. A chance to finally get out of this room again. Even if he was going to be with you, watching your every move, this was a chance to observe, to take in the surroundings, to map out the layout of this cage he’d built around you. You let a soft, demure smile touch your lips as you nodded.

“That sounds…nice,” you replied, voice steady as your pulse thrummed with suppressed excitement. Keep it together, you told yourself. Don’t let him see.

Sylus watched you carefully, his gaze searching for any flicker of resistance. He was no fool; he was careful, calculating, and you knew he could see beneath surface pleasantries. But as your gaze met his, you felt a spark of pride—you were holding steady. This, at least, he couldn’t touch.

But the moment seemed to stretch, and Sylus’s expression darkened slightly, his smile fading as a more serious look settled on his face.

"A warning, honey," he said, his tone quiet but unmistakably firm, his eyes locking onto yours with a weight that made you feel as if you were being trapped all over again. "I’ve thought of every possible way you could try to escape. Every single one.” His voice softened, his hand lifting to your cheek, gently brushing his thumb over your skin, and you fought the instinct to flinch. “I don’t want to have to punish you,” he continued, his tone almost tender. “But if you try anything...I will. Do you understand?”

You swallowed hard, keeping your gaze fixed on his, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing the flicker of fear in your eyes. “I understand,” you murmured, voice steady. But beneath the calm mask, your mind raced. I won’t let him break me, you thought fiercely. My mind is mine. He can’t take that.

Sylus’s expression softened as he withdrew his hand, a satisfied smile gracing his lips.

"Good."

The word "good" lingered in the air like a quiet promise, or maybe a warning. He leaned down, messing with the lock on your chain until it came undone, freeing your ankle. Sylus's hand pressed lightly against the small of your back, firm and confident as he led you toward the door. The steady warmth of his touch, which you’d have found comforting under other circumstances, now only made your stomach churn.

The sound of his footsteps behind you was unsettlingly steady, each one a reminder of how trapped you were, how every movement, every word was all part of this intricate play you’d agreed to perform. You had committed yourself to this role, to pretending—pretending to love him, to see him as something he wasn’t. And if you wanted even a sliver of freedom, you’d have to keep up the act.

The air shifted as he opened the door, cool and light, with that strange stillness that seemed to hang over every corner of this place. No natural light met your eyes—no break in the oppressive shadows that filled the hall. Each step took you further from that familiar confinement, and yet the act of leaving the room didn’t bring you relief; instead, it was as if the walls expanded around you, reminding you of just how vast and endless your prison was.

He guided you forward, his presence close, hovering like an ever-watchful shadow. Memories of the last time you’d been out here assaulted your mind: the desperate rush for freedom, your footsteps barely whispering over the floor as you tried to escape. You pushed the memories down, trying to smother them beneath layers of numbness. Reese’s basement. The cold that clung to your bones, the darkness that swallowed every sound, every hope. You couldn’t let those thoughts resurface. Not now. Not when every inch of this house reminded you of that night you thought you had gotten away.

It took every ounce of control to walk calmly in front of him, to mask the dread twisting in your stomach. Sylus’s hand slipped from your back as you descended the stairs, his watchful gaze never leaving you. You focused on each step, your footfalls muted on the soft carpet, a stark contrast to the hammering of your heart. He had you under his thumb, and you could feel it with every step, every fleeting glance he cast your way, his eyes alight with that mix of possessive pride and some twisted form of care.

Finally, you reached the dining room. The warm scent of breakfast hung in the air, an almost comforting blend of cheese, ham, and eggs, with a subtle sweetness that promised something more. The table was laid out meticulously, each dish arranged as if part of a tableau. Fluffy omelettes filled with gooey cheese, chunks of ham, and flecks of green and red from the peppers and onions, each cut carefully to release a tantalizing aroma.

Golden-brown slices of French toast sat in stacks, sprinkled with powdered sugar that caught the light, giving them an almost ethereal glow. Next to them lay strips of crispy bacon, their smoky scent filling the room, mingling with the warmth of melted butter and syrup in a way that made your stomach growl in betrayal.

Sylus pulled out a chair for you, his hand lingering on the back of it, waiting until you were seated before he moved to his own place across from you. His plate mirrored yours, arranged with the same care, but you could feel his gaze as he watched you intently, like he was savoring every second of this shared meal. You picked up your fork, your hands steady despite the turmoil within. You had to keep up the illusion, the facade. You’d come this far. You couldn’t slip now.

He took a bite, his eyes softening as he watched you, as if breakfast were some quiet declaration of his devotion. “I’m having one of the rooms upstairs renovated for the baby,” he said, his voice gentle, almost tentative, as if he were letting you into a sacred secret. “I can show it to you after breakfast if you’d like.”

The words cut through you like ice, though you forced your face into a careful, neutral expression, nodding as if this prospect thrilled you. You didn’t want to go up there, to see what he was creating, to make real the future he’d carved out without your consent. You took another bite of the omelette, chewing mechanically, swallowing hard against the nausea that rose within you. But he didn’t seem to notice the pause, too wrapped up in his own excitement.

“When we know the gender,” he continued, his voice brimming with a carefully concealed thrill, “you’ll have full control over what you want in the room. Anything you envision, I’ll make it happen.” His eyes sparkled as he looked at you, his enthusiasm painfully genuine.

“Really?” The word left your lips in a soft, curious tone you didn’t entirely expect. He seemed so willing, so eager to give you something, to let you play a part in this vision he had for the future. Despite yourself, the generosity of it surprised you, the way he seemed so desperate to mold this life for you both, to make it something he thought you’d want.

Sylus nodded, the warmth in his gaze deepening. “Absolutely,” he replied, his voice soft, a hint of pride there, as though he were offering you something precious. “Even if the room’s finished and you decide you want to change everything, it’s no trouble. I’ll have Luke and Kieran redo it as many times as you want. Even repaint it a thousand times if that’s what it takes to make you happy.”

You smiled softly, more out of reflex than genuine feeling, your fingers absently toying with the expensive ring he’d placed on your finger. The weight of it felt almost mocking, a reminder of everything he was trying to wrap you in, of how deeply he had embedded himself in every part of your life. Why did he go to such lengths? Why did he care so much about pleasing you, about making you happy, when he was the reason you were here, trapped in this gilded prison? You felt an unexpected tightness in your chest, a pang of confusion and bitterness mingling in a way that left you feeling hollow.

Forcing yourself to maintain the act, you let out a light laugh, trying to keep the tone playful.

If it’s a girl,” you said, your voice sounding strangely detached even to your own ears, “maybe we could make it look like…a dreamscape? Something soft. Like she’s living in a cloud, floating above it all.” The words slipped out, and for a moment, a pang of sadness struck you, imagining a child who would never know freedom, who would grow up within the walls of a world he’d forged.

The words felt foreign, like someone else was speaking them, yet you pushed on, ignoring the way your heart twisted. “If it’s a boy, maybe something different, like decorating it to look like the night sky? All you ever see for boys are trucks and dinosaurs. Pretty boring,” you added, forcing a chuckle.

Sylus chuckled softly in return, nodding thoughtfully, seemingly thrilled by this glimpse into your thoughts. “I agree. Whatever you come up with, Im sure the baby will love it.”

The way he looked at you, with that bright, unguarded hopefulness, was surreal—like he wasn’t the same man who had dragged you into this nightmare. His smile, his promises…they twisted in your mind, clashing against the memories of everything he had done. And yet here he was, eagerly offering you choices as if any of this could somehow become normal, as if anything he did could erase the horrors that clung to you like a second skin.

You forced yourself to nod, to play along, swallowing down the bitterness that rose like bile in your throat. “Yeah...hopefully” you murmured, glancing back at the ring he’d put on your finger. It gleamed in the dim dining room light, mocking you, a reminder of the prison you now wore on your very body. No matter how softly he spoke, how kindly he smiled, you knew this wasn't just a proposal of love—it was also a declaration of ownership.

He had said it was yours, everything he had—all his resources, his entire life. You could have it, he’d promised, if only you stayed beside him. But the cost was unspoken, hanging heavily between you. It was everything else you’d lost in the exchange. Your freedom. Your past. And worst of all, your future. Your dreams. The life you’d dreamed of was gone, scattered like ashes, and here he was offering you a new one, handpicked, designed…controlled by him.

Your fingers brushed against the delicate fabric of your dress, your skin crawling as you felt his eyes follow the motion. Every time his gaze lingered, it was like he was trying to peel away the layers of your thoughts, to see beyond your outward calm. He wanted you to love this world he’d constructed, to surrender to it, to him.

Sylus’s voice broke the silence, his tone warm and conversational, as though you were any other couple discussing future plans over breakfast. “I want you to be happy, honey,” he said, his eyes watching you intently. “Whatever it takes.”

The words grated against you. Happy? Did he truly believe happiness could be built on chains, on rape, on fear? But you bit down on your retort, aware of the deal you’d struck with yourself: stay quiet, play along. Pretend to be content until you found an opening to escape.

You steeled yourself, picking up a piece of omelette and forcing a bite. The savory flavor filled your mouth, rich with cheese and herbs, a stark contrast to the bitterness churning in your chest. You could hardly focus on the taste, though, as every forkful felt more like a performance than a meal.

Your mind drifted to the night he’d placed that ring on your finger, and the memory clawed at you, reminding you of how helpless you’d felt. He’d knelt before you, spoken to you with tenderness you’d once dreamed of, but it was all wrong. His words were cages, his promises laced with possessiveness along with devotion. And here you were, entertaining his fantasies, playing the role he expected, all the while simmering with resentment beneath the surface.

The silence stretched between you as you chewed, and you could feel his gaze lingering on you, as if savoring each hint of compliance, every signal that you were softening to his world. The notion made your stomach turn, and you fought to keep your expression neutral, pushing down the revulsion that bubbled up every time he glanced at you with that unsettling fondness.

“Thank you,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper, the words tasting bitter as they left your mouth.

He must have sensed your discomfort because his hand found yours across the table, his fingers curling around your own in a gentle but firm grip. The touch sent an uncomfortable shiver up your spine, but you managed to stay still, breathing deeply as he spoke again.

"You're welcome".

Sylus watched you closely, seemingly oblivious to the defiance simmering in your mind, misinterpreting your polite responses as something more. He leaned back, finally releasing your hand, and you had to stifle the sigh of relief that wanted to escape.

He lifted his coffee, taking a slow sip as he studied you over the rim, that same possessive look glinting in his eyes. You could see his satisfaction, his self-assured belief that he was winning you over, that with enough time, you’d come to want this life he was forcing upon you.

But beneath that calm exterior, a storm was raging, one that no amount of soft words or promises could quell. You kept your composure, maintained the charade, all while feeling the weight of that ring on your finger like a shackle, a reminder of the life he’d stolen from you.

“You done? You're not eating anymore,” he finally said, his voice low and approving as he set his coffee down. The satisfaction in his tone was unmistakable, a quiet certainty that made your stomach twist with anger.

"Oh! Yeah...I'm full. Thank you for the meal".

Without another word, he stood and walked around the table, extending a hand to help you up. You forced yourself to take it, hating the way his fingers felt warm and solid around yours, grounding you in a reality you wished you could shatter. He pulled you gently to your feet, his hand lingering just a little too long as he smiled down at you.

“Let’s go see the nursery,” he murmured, a strange tenderness in his tone as though he genuinely believed he was offering you something precious.

You swallowed hard, pushing down the nausea that rose at the thought of following him deeper into this life he wanted to build. Your hands trembled slightly, but you clenched them into fists, forcing yourself to breathe as you steeled yourself for whatever came next.

This was all a performance, a lie spun so carefully that even he couldn’t see through it. You had to remind yourself of that. Every step you took was one step closer to escape, to reclaiming the life he’d stolen. And though he might not see it, every forced smile, every quiet nod, was a weapon in your silent rebellion.

Sylus led you back up the winding staircase, his hand resting possessively on the small of your back. His touch was light, yet constant—a reminder that he was in control, guiding you through the unfamiliar and shadowy corners of this place. Your stomach twisted with a blend of dread and unease, but beneath that was a flicker of anticipation. You were finally leaving the bedroom again, stepping outside its confining walls, mapping out more of the house. For the first time in what felt like forever, you were gaining a sense of your surroundings, every detail cataloged for future use.

When you reached the top of the stairs, Sylus paused in front of a wide, partially open doorway. “This is it,” he murmured, his voice carrying a note of quiet pride as he pulled the door open for you.

The room was expansive—much larger than you’d expected. As Sylus guided you inside, your eyes widened, taking in the sheer scale of the space. Dust motes floated lazily through the beams of light from the tall, arched windows at the back of the room, casting soft, silvery patterns across the unfinished wooden floor. Even in its early stages of renovation, there was a grandeur to the room, with its high ceilings and intricate moldings, making it feel more like a sanctuary than a nursery.

The room itself was an absolute mess. Tools were strewn about haphazardly, piles of wooden planks leaned against one wall, and white tarps covered parts of the floor. There were cans of paint, ladders, and half-installed shelves along the perimeter. Despite the chaos, you could see the skeleton of what it might become—the walk-in closet on one side, spacious and already fitted with a few shelves, the beginnings of a built-in bookshelf near the window. It was unsettlingly beautiful, and that paradox didn’t sit right with you. This room was meant for a child, your child—a child you didn’t ask for, in a life you hadn’t chosen.

You were so absorbed in your thoughts that you almost didn’t notice the two figures hunched over the unfinished flooring, tools in hand, their faces obscured by bird masks. Luke and Kieran. You hadn’t seen them in a while, and their sudden appearance felt like a slap, pulling you sharply back into this warped reality. Still, there was something almost comforting about their presence. Of everyone in this place, they were the least threatening. They were more like overgrown children themselves, mischievous and playful.

As soon as they saw you and Sylus, they sprang to their feet in unison, like they’d been caught playing instead of working. Luke’s hammer slipped from his hand, clattering loudly against the floor with an echo that bounced off the bare walls. Kieran smacked him on the back of the head immediately, the gesture both reprimanding and oddly familiar—brotherly, almost.

“Hi, boss! Miss!” Luke called out, rubbing the back of his head where Kieran had smacked him. “Nice to see you! Feeling any better?” His voice carried a genuine enthusiasm, bright and disarming despite the mask hiding his face.

You gave a small, awkward smile, not quite sure how to respond but feeling the warmth of their attention, which was strangely comforting in its simplicity. “I’m fine, thank you,” you replied, almost laughing as Luke’s excitement seemed to bounce off Kieran, whose head snapped up at your words.

Kieran, keeping a respectful distance yet clearly intrigued, tilted his head with what you guessed was curiosity. “Is it twins, boss?” he asked, and even without seeing his face, you could almost sense the spark of excitement in his voice.

Luke perked up immediately at his brother’s question, nodding as he moved a bit closer, looking directly at your stomach. “Yeah, is it twins?” he echoed, their eagerness radiating from them both, despite the masks that hid any expression.

Feeling shy, a wave of discomfort washed over you. The weight of their stares made you feel oddly exposed, like you were on display. But before you could respond, Sylus’s hand came to rest on your back again, a possessive but somehow protective gesture, and he answered for you, his tone playful.

“No, not twins. Not a pair the two of you could influence, thankfully” he replied, amusement clear in his voice as he added the playful jab.

Both brothers let out exaggerated groans, as if they were genuinely disappointed. The sound was so exaggerated and childish that you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, and to your surprise, it felt genuine. For a fleeting moment, it was almost like things were normal, like you weren’t trapped in this house, under Sylus’s watch.

“Ahh, fine,” Luke muttered, shaking his head dramatically. “Just thought a pair would’ve made things more interesting, that’s all.”

Kieran nodded in mock solemnity, hands on his hips. “Could’ve been our legacy, boss,” he said with exaggerated disappointment, and both he and Luke sighed as if heartbroken.

Luke’s shoulders slumped, and he mumbled to Kieran, “Guess we’ll just have to settle for one, huh?”

Kieran gave him a little nudge. “At least we get to help with the room. Think of all the stuff we can build!”

The two of them started chatting animatedly about work they would have to do for the nursery, tossing out suggestions with an eagerness that would’ve been contagious if not for the circumstances. You couldn’t deny the odd charm they added to this otherwise stifling existence. Despite everything, they had this strange innocence about them, a playful energy that, in any other setting, might’ve been endearing.

Sylus watched them for a moment, his arm resting casually around your waist as if he were proudly presenting you to his subordinates. You felt the weight of his hand settle there, possessive but gentle, a silent claim that you couldn’t quite ignore. His thumb stroked your side in a way that sent an involuntary shiver down your spine, though you kept your composure, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how much his touch affected you.

Here was a man planning a life—a whole future—that included you and this child, no matter how much you resisted.

“Now that we’re certain it’s just one,” Sylus said, turning his attention back to you, “I thought you might like to see the progress. Soon, this will be more than just an empty room.” He gestured around at the chaos, at the splattered paint cans and ladders and unfinished shelves, a proud look crossing his face.

You nodded, unable to bring yourself to respond with anything more than silent agreement, though internally, your emotions churned. This was a room that was becoming a nursery, a place that would hold things meant for a child you didn’t ask for. A child you were being forced to carry.

“If you think it's too big” Sylus continued, his voice softening, “Just say the word. I could have the nursery downsized or moved to a smaller room.” His words were tender, warm, as though he truly meant every single promise.

"No! I think its perfect. Its enough space for a growing child. I have lots of ideas" you replied, feigning surprise at the suggestion. Sylus gave you another genuine smile and your chest tightened.

There was a softness in his eyes, a genuine fondness that almost made you feel guilty for the act you were putting on. But as his words hung in the air, you felt the reality of it sink in. This wasn’t a game. This wasn’t something that would end soon. This was the world you were in now, and as much as you hated it, you couldn’t afford to let him see even a hint of rebellion.

The twins chimed in with their own ideas, talking over each other in a way that reminded you of a pair of mischievous kids, throwing out suggestions that ranged from the whimsical to the absurd. At one point, Luke suggested painting the entire ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stars, which Kieran immediately amended to “only if they change colors,” sparking a debate that had them practically bickering.

You watched them, a strange mix of emotions swirling inside you. They were both so engrossed in the planning, so wrapped up in their excitement, that you could almost forget where you were. For a moment, it felt like you were just another person, planning for a future, surrounded by people who cared.

But it was a fleeting feeling. The truth lingered beneath the surface, cold and unforgiving. These weren’t your friends; they were part of this gilded cage Sylus had built around you. And as much as they made you laugh, as much as their antics brought a brief respite, you couldn’t let yourself get attached. You couldn’t afford to see them as anything more than accomplices in your captivity.

The low buzz of Sylus’s phone cut through your thoughts, interrupting the quiet moment you'd both fallen into. His fingers stilled against your hand, and you noticed a flicker of something cross his face as he read the message on his screen—a brief tightening of his mouth, a frown, there and gone. You couldn’t shake the feeling that something had unsettled him, but before you could ask, he looked up, schooling his expression into that familiar, unreadable calm.

“There’s something I need to take care of,” he said, his voice steady, though there was a subtle edge you couldn’t place. He straightened up, eyes flicking to Luke and Kieran, who quickly gathered themselves at his call, setting their tools aside and moving to his side with quick, attentive steps.

Without another word, Sylus gently led you from the room, his hand resting at the small of your back. His usual warmth was there, but his fingers pressed a little firmer than usual, guiding you down the stairs and back to the main living room. The unease stirred in your chest, curiosity mingling with that odd, persistent sense of dread. But his silence felt impenetrable, a wall you couldn’t break through.

Reaching the living room, he gestured toward the couch with a soft smile. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable,” he said, picking up the remote and explaining its functions, the buttons, the layout—all with practiced ease, his voice gentle, calm, as though nothing had shifted. You watched him, taking in the way he moved, the fleeting seriousness that now hid behind his careful smile. He handed you the remote, his hand brushing yours, a slight warmth in his gaze.

“Here, all set. Feel free to watch anything you like.” His words felt like an invitation and a dismissal all at once, something that set your teeth on edge.

You sank into the couch, the remote cold in your hand, your gaze flicking from the television back to him. Just as you opened your mouth to speak, he leaned down, capturing your lips in a lingering kiss. His lips were warm, lingering longer than expected, and you couldn’t help the shiver that traveled down your spine, your thoughts suddenly fogged by the intensity in his gaze as he pulled back to look into your eyes.

“I won’t be long,” he said quietly, his voice carrying an odd, reassuring note. “Remember, I'm still watching.”

As if on cue, Mephisto let out a shrilled caw, flapping his wings in a nearby corner.

Then, without waiting for you to respond, he straightened up, casting one last glance at you as he called for Luke and Kieran to follow him. The twins nodded, their voices oddly subdued as they bid you a quick goodbye, and with a swift motion from Sylus, the three of them slipped through a door you hadn’t even noticed before. The quiet click of it closing echoed in the room, leaving you with an odd sense of displacement, alone and without answers.

It felt strange, like you’d been locked inside a perfectly curated world, each detail, each movement, meticulously crafted. You glanced around the room, feeling the walls press in as your curiosity turned to a simmering frustration. What had just happened? And why hadn’t they taken the front door?

With a sigh, you turned your focus to the television, clutching the remote a little tighter than necessary. Flipping through the channels, you hoped for a glimpse into the outside world—a news report, even an old program to provide a hint of normalcy. But as you scrolled through the channels, static greeted you more often than not, a white noise of silence and empty screens. The frustration grew with each click. Had he blocked access somehow? Manipulated the channels? It was unsettling, feeling your freedom so carefully managed even here, even with something as simple as television.

Finally, your thumb stopped on a cooking competition show, the contestants anxiously awaiting the judges’ final verdict. The bright lights, bustling noise, and vibrant colors flooded the screen, a stark contrast to the oppressive quiet of the room. The clatter of utensils, the frenzied footsteps of chefs, and the animated voices of the hosts blended together in a steady stream of noise. You tried to lose yourself in it, telling yourself it was enough to distract you from the silence Sylus left behind, the nagging thoughts clawing at the back of your mind.

Yet, as the show went on, it grew harder to focus. The contestants’ faces, their desperate, proud smiles as they awaited judgment—each detail seemed to blur, fading into the background as your eyes grew heavier, the tension slowly easing from your body. The exhaustion crept over you like a blanket, softening the edges of the room, the voices on the screen dimming to a low murmur.

You hadn't slept well last night and it seemed like it was catching up to you, fast.

Your head sank back into the plush cushion of the couch, your body sinking into its warmth, finally feeling the weight of your own fatigue pulling you under. Each sound from the television, once sharp and distinct, now blurred into a gentle hum, a lullaby of noise lulling you closer to the edge of sleep. It was as though the clattering, the chatter—all of it had softened, becoming a distant echo as your eyes closed.

The air was still as Xavier moved toward Dr. Merrill’s car in the early morning light, his steps soundless on the damp pavement. The doctor waited by the car, visibly tense, his gaze flickering nervously around the quiet street. Xavier didn’t say much as he approached; the plan had already been set, and neither of them had room for hesitation now.

Xavier hadn't slept at all. His heart and thoughts of rescuing you keeping him up all night. Still, he was ready for anything.

“You remember the plan?” Xavier asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Dr. Merrill gave a stiff nod, his hands gripping the car keys tightly. “Yes. Just…get in. I’ll drive straight there.”

Xavier held his gaze for a long moment, his eyes cold and unwavering, before slipping silently into the trunk. He positioned himself among the dark, cramped confines, angling his sword at his side and securing the gun in its ankle holster. Before Dr. Merrill closed the trunk, their eyes met—a silent warning that if anything went wrong, Xavier wouldn’t hesitate to act.

The trunk lid shut, plunging him into darkness. Xavier shifted, trying to settle into the limited space, listening as the car’s engine rumbled to life. His muscles tensed reflexively as the doctor pulled away from the curb, the vibrations of the car and the faint hum of the radio filling the silence. He could hear Merrill’s steady breathing from the driver’s seat, and with each passing mile, Xavier tried to keep his own thoughts in check.

It was a distant drive to wherever Sylus was keeping you, and with every turn, Xavier’s mind cycled through the possibilities. What if this was a trap? What if Merrill had been in on this from the start, feeding him scraps of information to lead him into Sylus’s hands? Doubts gnawed at the edges of his thoughts, urging him to act, to abandon the plan and confront Merrill directly. But he kept himself still, breathing through the doubts, reminding himself why he had taken this risk in the first place.

Every mile brought him closer to you. He wouldn’t let fear, suspicion, or second-guessing make him lose focus now.

He shifted in the cramped trunk, adjusting his sword to avoid the bruising angle against his ribs. Even if Dr. Merrill turned on him, he had the advantage. The doctor was no match, not with the weapons Xavier had brought along. He ran his fingers over the hilt of his sword, feeling the familiar weight and comfort of the steel. If the doctor so much as hinted at a betrayal, Xavier was prepared to finish this himself.

The drive felt like an eternity, the muffled sounds of the car and the gentle, rhythmic hum of the engine blending into a single, unrelenting pulse that synced with Xavier’s heart. Confined in the dark, his thoughts drifted, stirring up worries he’d tried to suppress. What kind of shape would you be in when he found you? His grip tightened around the hilt of his sword as images flickered through his mind: bruises, broken bones, or worse. But no, Dr. Merrill had said you seemed "relatively fine." He clung to those words, though doubt lingered. Would the doctor really lie about something that critical?

Xavier exhaled slowly, trying to loosen the tension in his chest. The longer he lay still, the harder it was to remain calm. Just as he felt himself relax, the car made a sharp turn, jolting him back to attention, his senses on high alert. Then, with a final shudder, the car slowed and came to a complete stop.

He heard muffled voices, then Dr. Merrill’s sharp tone breaking through: “Yes, just let me get my equipment.” A moment later, the trunk creaked open, and the doctor’s shadow loomed over him, his hands moving around, gathering items. Amidst the clutter of tools, he paused, whispering down to Xavier, “Come out in about ten minutes.” Without another word, Dr. Merrill shut the trunk.

In the darkness, Xavier forced himself to remain still, every muscle tense as he counted each second, honing the quiet fury building inside him. At the ten-minute mark, he reached for the emergency release, cracking the trunk just enough to scan his surroundings. The place was shrouded in darkness, usual for the N109 Zone, and before him loomed a massive mansion, dark and imposing, with towering iron gates casting long shadows. This was no hideaway; this was a practically a fortress. He clenched his jaw, dismissing the thoughts. Sylus had hidden you here—locked you away, with him just barely out of reach.

Dismissing his thoughts, Xavier dropped silently to the ground, his sword gripped tightly in one hand. Moving with practiced silence, he circled the property, observing every window and doorway. Obviously, he couldn’t risk the front door. There had to be another way.

As he scanned the wall for any sign of a side window or gap, Dr. Merrill emerged from the shadows beside him, startling him for a split second. Xavier fought back the urge to question him outright but kept his expression hardened.

“She’s here. They’ve left her alone for the time being,” Dr. Merrill murmured, voice tight with urgency. “She’s on the other side of the property. There’s a horse track there—she’s sitting by herself now. I told them I needed to come back for more equipment, so we don’t have much time. Follow me quietly.”

Xavier’s mind reeled for a moment. Outside? He frowned, surprised that they’d leave you anywhere outside the mansion. The information felt…off. But he couldn’t risk any delay. Dr. Merrill led him around the property, ducking through hedges and skirting the perimeter of the house, his steps quiet but hurried. The mansion loomed overhead, casting long, eerie shadows, as Xavier kept his mind clear, focusing only on getting to you. Still, something nagged at him—the doctor’s demeanor was too rigid, his movements practiced, as though he were acting out a scene rather than guiding him honestly.

As they neared the supposed horse track, Xavier’s pulse quickened, thoughts racing with anticipation. Every step brought him closer to you—closer to whatever state Sylus had left you in. His mind filled with images of you, weary and frightened, waiting somewhere alone in the darkness, perhaps hopeful that he would come for you. He clutched his sword tighter, readying himself for whatever he might find. He owed you strength, no matter what lay ahead.

They moved around the corner of the mansion, and in the distance, a wide, open space unfolded. The outline of a fence and worn dirt paths marked the track, a sprawling arena shrouded in shadow. His eyes scanned the area, seeking any sign of movement, but it was eerily empty. The realization unsettled him; where were you?

“Where is she?” he whispered, his voice laced with tension as he threw a sharp glance at Dr. Merrill.

“Further up ahead,” Merrill replied, his tone low, almost evasive, as he kept his gaze forward, but something in the doctor's demeanor felt off—too rigid, too practiced. Xavier’s instincts prickled, every sense on high alert.

He took a tentative step forward, but the quiet of the night shattered in an instant.

“Nice of you to join us, Xavier.”

A voice, smooth and laced with cold amusement, rang out from the shadows. Xavier spun around, his eyes landing on two figures stepping out from the darkness: two men, their bird masks glinting faintly in the dim light. Both men held guns, casual but poised, as if they had been expecting him all along.

“Surprised?” One's voice was mocking, his masked face tilting as he looked Xavier up and down. “You didn’t think we’d just leave her here alone, did you?”

Xavier’s jaw tightened, rage flaring in his chest. He shifted his grip on his sword, his eyes narrowing as he assessed his options. His mind raced through the possibility of overpowering them quickly, finding you, and escaping. But the odds were grim, even for him.

“You’re a fool, Merrill,” Xavier hissed, not turning his head but sensing the doctor’s panicked figure shrinking beside him. “I should've known better.”

Merrill stammered, his voice trembling as he took a step back. "They knew, they knew before you even got into the trunk. I had no choice.”

The twins exchanged an amused glance, chuckling low under their breath. “No choice indeed,” one man muttered.

Xavier raised his sword, his gaze locked onto the twins, his body taut, prepared for a fight. But something about their stance, their nonchalance, told him they weren’t here to engage. Not yet, anyway. They were taunting him, toying with him.

“I hope you enjoyed your ride,” The one on the left continued, cocking his head. “We’ve been waiting for someone to entertain us. And it seems we’ve found the perfect guest.”

The simmering rage within Xavier boiled over, his grip white-knuckled on the hilt of his sword as he took a deliberate step forward, the adrenaline heightening his senses. But before he could make another move, the one on the right raised his hand, his tone shifting from playful to deadly serious.

“You can put up a fight, or you can come quietly. Sylus said he wants you alive, so we won’t kill you…yet.”

Xavier’s heart pounded, his mind calculating his next move. He had come so close, so close to finding you, only to be ensnared in Sylus’s web of cruelty once more. His hatred for the man twisted like a knife in his chest, fueling his determination. He met the twins’ gaze, his eyes cold and unyielding.

“I’ll see her. I’ll get to her, whether you’re in my way or not,” he growled, his voice filled with a steely resolve.

The twins merely chuckled, shifting into ready stances as they prepared to intercept any attempt he might make to break past them.

“Keep dreaming, hunter,” one of them taunted, his eyes gleaming from behind the mask.

As the twins pulled their weapons, Xavier tightened his grip on his sword, his instincts kicking in at the sight of gleaming barrels trained on him. They fired rapidly, bullets cutting through the night with sharp precision, but he was ready. With practiced speed, he swung his blade, deflecting the bullets in quick succession, each metallic impact reverberating through the air. His movements were fluid, instinctual, each deflection measured and fierce.

Then, with a snap of his fingers, a surge of energy pulsed from the sword, casting a searing light that brightened the shadows around him. His sword blazed with ethereal energy, and he raised it, pointing it toward the twins. With a swift, calculated swipe, he unleashed a burst of radiant light toward them. They dodged nimbly, their movements so swift and synchronized that he lost track of them for a heartbeat.

A shift in the air behind him was his only warning. Instinct took over as he spun, his blade flashing, narrowly missing one of the twins who had managed to slip within striking distance.

“Woah there,” the twin chuckled, quickly sidestepping the blade with a humorous laugh. “I kinda need my arm.” Without missing a beat, he whipped out two pistols, firing off rounds with swiftness, his aim precise and relentless. Each shot was timed perfectly with his brother’s, their rhythm fast and lethal.

Xavier moved, his body a blur as he deflected the bullets, the clang of metal resounding like a discordant symphony. His sword, blazing with light, was like an extension of himself, weaving through the hailstorm of bullets. His concentration was ironclad, his every muscle coiled and ready for the next strike. He raised his sword again, releasing another blinding arc of light toward them, its brilliance cutting through the darkness. Yet the twins seemed to dance through it effortlessly, their steps quick and unpredictable, bodies weaving in and out of the shadows with uncanny agility.

His evol blazed brighter, each pulse of it illuminating the yard in stark flashes. He lunged forward, catching one of the twins off-guard, his blade singing through the air as he aimed for his shoulder. The twin dodged but stumbled slightly, and in that brief opening, Xavier surged forward.

Without hesitation, Xavier seized the moment, spinning around and lunging forward. He knocked the pistol out of the man's hand, his foot connecting hard with the man’s chest as he shoved him to the ground. In a swift movement, Xavier was over him, pinning him down, his sword poised above the twin’s head.

The other twin froze momentarily, his gun raised, but Xavier’s eyes were locked on his target, the edge of his blade catching the dim light.

“Not so cocky now, are you?” Xavier growled, pressing his weight down on the twin’s chest, his sword ready to end it. He could feel the man’s heartbeat racing beneath him, the edge of fear flickering behind the mask.

But before he could strike, the world around him seemed to twist and tighten. A chilling sensation wrapped around his entire body, freezing him in place. His vision dimmed, his breaths coming out in shallow gasps as the freezing grip closed around him, leaching away his strength and numbing his muscles.

The air around him thickened, the dark chill creeping into his bones as his vision began to blur. His thoughts grew foggy, slipping from his control, and he struggled to hold on, to stay conscious as he fought the paralyzing force. And then, through the haze, he saw a figure step into view.

A slow, mocking clap echoed in front of him. Then a chilling laugh.

Sylus.

He appeared calm, his expression betraying a hint of boredom as he took in Xavier’s struggling form with a smirk. “Nice show,” Sylus drawled, his voice smooth yet laced with an undertone of menace. “But I’m afraid I’ve grown bored.” He took a step closer, his red eyes gleaming in the dim light as he sized Xavier up with an air of practiced disdain.

He looked predatory. Like a demon that had just stepped out of the shadows.

“The father of the child in your ex-lover’s belly.”

For a split second, Xavier’s mind went blank, his thoughts freezing under the sheer weight of those words. Then, in an instant, they detonated within him, a rush of shock, anger, and raw disbelief surging through his veins like venom. His pulse pounded, erratic and wild, the realization cutting deep. It couldn’t be. No. This was impossible. Sylus had to be lying, manipulating him, preying on the one fear he had buried too deep to acknowledge.

The blood roared in Xavier’s ears as the accusation sank in. His jaw clenched, his fists balled, nails digging into his palms so hard he could feel his own pulse there. “Liar,” he ground out, his voice rough, a desperate denial choked by a flicker of dread that tightened around his chest. But even as he spoke the word, his conviction wavered. Sylus’s smug expression, that insidious confidence, gnawed at the edges of his certainty. What if he wasn’t lying?

The red mist surrounding them thickened, pressing down on Xavier like a relentless tide, choking the air from his lungs as if Sylus controlled not just his body but the very air he breathed. “You f-fucking liar,” he gasped, his voice hoarse, trembling under the strain of holding onto his sanity. He couldn’t let this man get to him, couldn’t show weakness.

But Sylus’s smirk only widened, his gaze gleaming with a sickening pleasure that twisted Xavier’s stomach. He leaned in, close enough that Xavier could feel his breath, his tone mocking, dripping with satisfaction. “You doubt me?” he taunted, arching a brow, his eyes boring into Xavier’s as though peeling away every layer of defense, exposing every raw nerve. “You want to see her, don’t you?” The way he said it, the way he tilted his head with that taunting gleam, made every nerve in Xavier’s body scream in protest, but he stayed silent, refusing to give Sylus the satisfaction.

But Sylus saw through him, every flicker of pain, every glint of desperation in his eyes feeding the twisted satisfaction etched on his face. “Of course you do,” he murmured, voice soft yet cruel, the words twisting like a knife. “There’s a price though,” he added, his voice dropping into a sinister whisper. “And since you don’t have any money here…”

Before Xavier could react, a sharp, brutal punch crashed into his face, snapping his head back with a crack that echoed in his ears. The pain exploded, blinding and immediate, radiating through his skull and searing down his neck. Blood flooded his mouth, the coppery taste harsh on his tongue as he spat onto the ground, his breathing harsh, labored.

He felt his skull throb and his nose throb in pain, cursing in his head that it was definitely broken.

The anger simmered in him, stronger than the pain, a blazing, unyielding fire. Through the pain, he forced out a taunt, his words venomous, defiant. “You…hit like a bitch,” he spat, his voice a harsh rasp, but even as he spoke, he felt the bruises blooming across his cheek, the throb of his split lip. Inside, he clung to the anger, the fury that felt like the last shred of his sanity.

Sylus’s dark chuckle sliced through his defiance, his smile widening into something dark, almost gleeful. Without warning, he unleashed another barrage of punches, each one landing harder than the last, each one aimed with a precision that bordered on the sadistic. His fists pounded into Xavier’s ribs, his gut, his jaw, each impact an agony that burned through him, breaking him down one relentless blow at a time.

Xavier choked out a groan, fighting to stay conscious, to hold on to the remnants of his strength. He couldn’t let go. He couldn’t let Sylus win. But the pain was overwhelming, his vision blurring as his head swam. His body screamed in protest, but he forced himself to breathe, to keep his mind focused on you.

His body buckled under the continued assault, every nerve alight with agony, his vision blurring as he fought the pain. He couldn’t fall, couldn’t give in, but his strength was slipping with every hit, every sharp crack of bone and blinding flash of pain. Blood trickled from his nose, his lip, pooling in his mouth, staining his teeth with every ragged breath he forced out.

As if bored by the spectacle, Sylus finally stepped back, releasing the red mist that had held him captive. Xavier’s body crumpled to the ground, his limbs heavy, his breath coming in shallow gasps as he fought to regain control. The cold ground pressed against his cheek, rough and biting, but it grounded him, gave him something real to focus on. His fingers brushed against something solid, cold, familiar.

His sword.

A spark of hope flared within him, a small, fragile flame in the darkness. If he could just reach it, just close his fingers around the hilt, he might still have a chance. His hand stretched, trembling, desperate, but just as he felt the cold metal beneath his fingertips, Sylus’s hand clamped onto his shoulder, dragging him back with brutal force. Sylus then proceeded to step on his sword, shattering it into several big pieces with the weight of his foot.

Xavier struggled, his body weakened but his spirit unyielding, his fingers clawing at the ground as Sylus hauled him toward the mansion’s grand entrance.

Sylus dragged Xavier to the front door, fingers twisted tightly into the back of his hair, forcing him forward with ruthless force. Xavier stumbled, disoriented, pain flaring with every step. Just as he tried to regain some semblance of footing, Sylus wrenched him sideways, shoving his face against the cold, polished glass of the side window. Blood smeared across the pane, leaving dark streaks on what had once been pristine.

“You wanted to see her, didn’t you?” Sylus sneered, voice dripping with mockery. “Well…here she is. Get a good look.”

Xavier’s heart hammered as he strained to focus. Through his blurred, bloody vision, he saw you lying on the couch inside, curled in a delicate sleep. A pang tore through him; you were thinner than he remembered, and yet somehow you still looked serene, your chest rising and falling in the gentle rhythm of dreams. The sight of you so close made his heart ache with a potent mixture of relief and despair.

You didn't look pregnant. Relief flooded through his head as he shoved that thought away. Sylus must be fucking with him. He had to be.

He tried to call out to you, his voice barely a gurgle as blood filled his mouth, choking the words. A weak, strangled sound escaped him, nothing more than a pained gasp. He coughed, tasting blood, helplessness surging in his chest as he realized just how powerless he was to reach you.

“Don’t bother,” Sylus said coolly, leaning close, his voice a silken taunt. “She can’t hear you. I’ve had the living room soundproofed. She’s completely oblivious to the fun we’re having out here.” With a quick flick of his hand, Sylus shoved Xavier back, sending him sprawling onto the gravel. Pain shot through his ribs, a sharp and searing agony that made him cry out, his breath shallow and ragged.

Sylus advanced, his expression a twisted blend of satisfaction and disdain as he knelt down, pinning Xavier beneath his weight. Xavier’s body screamed in protest, but every attempt to move sent fresh waves of pain through his broken, battered form. Sylus wasted no time removing the pistol Xavier had hidden at his ankle, throwing it across the ground. Xavier's heart dropped as he heard the metal clatter.

Sylus’s grip then tightened, his hand pressing down with deliberate, sadistic force on Xavier’s shoulder, pinning him against the ground with an air of twisted relish.

“You’re lucky,” Sylus drawled, his tone laced with disdain, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I made her a promise, you know. To keep you alive. Otherwise, I would have turned you into mush back in the car. But I have to admit…” His smirk widened as he pressed down harder, grinding his thumb into Xavier’s collarbone with a precision that made Xavier’s breath catch painfully.

“This is much more satisfying.”

Xavier gritted his teeth, the pain forcing white spots into his vision, but he forced himself to stay conscious, his mind locked onto you, on the image of you safe and unhurt. He couldn’t let this monster win.

Without another word, Sylus’s grip slid down to Xavier’s arm, his fingers digging into muscle and bone with an almost surgical awareness. He met Xavier’s glare with a dark smile, then, with one swift, brutal motion, twisted his arm until a sickening snap echoed in the still night air. The sound of breaking bone reverberated through Xavier’s skull, an unbearable shockwave of pain exploding through him as he felt his arm twist at an impossible angle, every nerve screaming in response.

Xavier’s scream tore from his throat, raw and uncontrollable, his body seizing up as the agony overwhelmed him. His pulse thundered, heart slamming in his chest, his breath coming in ragged, broken gasps. But Sylus wasn’t finished. Not yet.

The laughter above him was filled with a twisted satisfaction as Sylus watched him, his eyes glinting with a cruel pleasure. “And since you were bold enough to come here, to trespass into my domain…” Sylus paused, relishing the fear and pain etched across Xavier’s face. “A broken leg should round out the lesson nicely, don’t you think?”

Xavier barely registered the words before another wave of agony hit. Sylus’s iron grip latched onto his leg, fingers wrapping around his thigh like a vice, squeezing with unnatural strength. With a swift, brutal twist, Sylus snapped the bone with an almost casual ease, as though he were breaking a twig.

The jagged edges of shattered bone grated against each other, tearing through muscle, and another scream ripped from Xavier’s throat, louder and more desperate than the last. His vision went white, the pain drowning out every thought, every memory, as his world narrowed to the unbearable agony radiating from his broken limbs.

He gasped, trying to force air into his lungs, his entire body trembling as he fought to remain conscious. Tears streamed down his face, mixing with the blood smeared from his broken nose. His thoughts, disjointed and scattered, latched onto you—your face, your laugh, the warmth of your smile. He whispered into the darkness, barely a breath. “Fucking…monster”

As he began to fade, Sylus leaned down, his face mere inches from Xavier’s, his breath hot against his ear. “Live with this, Xavier,” he murmured, his voice dripping with malice. “Every time you think of her, remember this moment. Remember that you were powerless. Remember who she belongs to now.”

With one final, brutal kick to Xavier’s ribs, Sylus straightened, his face contorting into a look of distaste as he glanced back toward the door and the smeared blood marking the pristine glass. He dusted off his hands with an air of cold satisfaction, then turned to the shadows where Luke and Kieran waited, both silent but watching with morbid interest.

“Luke, Kieran,” Sylus called over his shoulder, his voice sharp and commanding. “Clean up this mess,” he gestured to the bloody smears on the window. “The sight of it disgusts me.”

The twins stepped forward without a word, their masked faces hiding any emotion as they moved to obey. Xavier could only watch, helpless and broken, his vision fading in and out as they wiped away the last traces of blood, erasing any sign of the struggle that had taken place.

Sylus turned his attention to Dr. Merrill, who stood nearby, pale and visibly shaking. “Take him back,” he instructed coolly, his eyes narrowing as he gestured dismissively at Xavier’s shattered form. “To the hospital, a ditch—I don’t care, as long as he’s out of my sight.”

Dr. Merrill swallowed hard, nodding quickly as he moved forward, his hands trembling as he leaned down to lift Xavier. As his broken body was hoisted from the ground, Xavier fought to stay awake, his mind a haze of pain and regret, his last, fractured thoughts clinging to the image of you—just out of reach, so close, and yet, impossibly far away.

Dr. Merrill struggled under the weight of Xavier’s limp form, his breaths coming in labored bursts as he adjusted his grip and hefted him into the back seat of the car. Every inch felt like a mile, every step a struggle. Xavier was heavier than he looked, and the doctor’s nerves were frayed, his mind haunted by the brutal scene that had just unfolded. He cast a fleeting glance down at Xavier’s bruised and battered face, his features twisted in unconscious pain, his mouth half-open as blood dribbled from a cut at the corner of his lip. But he said nothing. There was nothing to say, no words that could bridge the chasm of violence and fear that Sylus had just carved into the atmosphere.

With a grunt of effort, Dr. Merrill finally managed to close the door, leaning against it for a moment, his chest heaving. He glanced back toward the mansion, its dark silhouette looming against the bleak sky of the N109 Zone, a fortress of shadows and secrets. He could feel Sylus's presence lingering in the air, even though the man was out of sight. It was as if the leader of Onychinus was still watching him, gauging every movement, every breath.

He shuddered, then hurried to the driver’s seat, slamming the door shut and fumbling to start the engine. The car roared to life, and he sped away from the mansion, the gravel crunching beneath the tires. He dared a quick glance in the rearview mirror, catching sight of Xavier’s crumpled form sprawled across the backseat. Blood soaked through his clothes, staining the fabric, and for a moment, Merrill thought he might have to turn around, to plead for mercy or an alternative plan. But then he shook the thought from his mind, forcing himself to focus on the road ahead.

Minutes slipped by in a haze of darkness, the car’s interior illuminated only by the faint green glow of the dashboard lights. Xavier’s breaths came in ragged gasps, his face twitching with pain even in unconsciousness. His body was a wreck—broken ribs, dislocated joints, and the jagged agony of his shattered leg, all of it radiating through him in relentless waves. He drifted in and out of consciousness, each moment of awareness a fresh wave of suffering. The pain was a living thing, gnawing at the edges of his mind, threatening to drag him under.

At one point, the rumbling vibrations of the car jolted him back to the present, his vision swimming as he tried to piece together where he was. He realized he was in the backseat, lying awkwardly across the cushions, his head pressed against the cool window, a smear of blood staining the glass. His entire body ached with a deep, bone-deep exhaustion, and when he tried to shift, a fresh surge of pain tore through him, making him cry out.

“Don’t move,” Dr. Merrill’s voice cut through the darkness, strained but steady. “Just stay still. We’re almost at the hospital.”

Xavier barely registered the words, his mind trapped in a haze of memories and regrets. Memories flashed before him in fragments—Sylus’s taunting smile, the sound of his bones snapping like dry twigs, the way you looked, lying so peacefully on that couch while he suffered just feet away. He felt a bitter laugh bubble up in his chest, only for it to dissolve into a painful sob as his ribs protested the movement.

The car swayed around a bend, the tires thrumming against the uneven road, and Xavier squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the pain, the shame, the overwhelming sense of failure that clawed at his heart. He had been so sure, so determined to find you and take you from that place. He’d thought he could overpower Sylus, could take back what had been stolen from him. But instead, he had been reduced to this—broken and helpless, a shadow of the man he used to be.

He swallowed hard, his throat raw and tight, and as the tears slipped from the corners of his eyes, he tried to choke out a question. The words came out garbled, thick with blood and emotion, but he forced them through clenched teeth. “Is…she really…pregnant?” The question burned in his throat, each syllable laced with a desperate hope that it wasn’t true, that Sylus had lied, that this nightmare wasn’t as real as it seemed.

Dr. Merrill’s face was hidden in the shadows, but Xavier caught the tension in his posture, the way his shoulders hunched forward as if he wanted to curl in on himself. He didn’t answer right away, and the silence stretched unbearably, pressing down on Xavier’s battered chest. “You’ve got bigger issues to worry about,” the doctor finally muttered, his tone flat, evasive. “Sylus…he doesn’t give people second chances often. You should be grateful you’re getting one at all.”

The words cut through Xavier, sharp and cold, but he didn’t have the strength to argue. His mind clung to the word grateful, and a bitter laugh scraped from his throat, sending a fresh wave of pain through his broken ribs. Grateful? For what? For being allowed to live just long enough to see how utterly he’d failed?

Xavier knew Sylus wasn't being merciful. Sylus had made it very clear that he now enjoyed seeing Xavier suffer, knowing that you were locked away. Unreachable. Unattainable. Sylus reveled in the fact that he had something Xavier so desperately wanted to the point of throwing himself into danger repeatedly.

The doctor glanced back at him, his expression momentarily softening. “Look, this can stay between us,” he offered, his voice barely above a whisper. “I won’t hold what you did to me against you. I understand...loss. And I’m sorry for yours.”

The words barely registered. Xavier’s thoughts swirled, each one heavier than the last, dragging him down. His life was unraveling before him, and he couldn’t see a way to put the pieces back together. His mind flashed back to your apartment—your apartment.

The one he’d kept for you all these months, paying the rent with every scrap of money he could scrape together, even as his own life crumbled. He’d promised you that place would still be yours, that you’d always have somewhere to come back to. But now, how was he supposed to keep that promise? How was he supposed to protect anything?

He couldn’t work like this. His injuries would keep him sidelined for months, and physical therapy would drain what little savings he had left. Even if he made it through recovery, what then? Would he be able to fight again, to pick up his sword without remembering the way it felt to be broken under Sylus’s heel?

Tears slipped from his eyes, hot and unrelenting, carving paths through the blood and grime that stained his face. He bit back another sob, swallowing down the bitter taste of his own failures. The pain was a dull roar now, a constant reminder of everything he’d lost—you, his soulmate, his purpose. And as the car continued its relentless journey, he felt himself slipping again, his vision narrowing to a dark tunnel with no light at the end.

The last image in his mind was of you, lying on that couch, your face peaceful in sleep, oblivious to the hell that raged outside. He wondered what you were dreaming about. Did you think of him at all? Or had Sylus twisted even your dreams into something he could never reach? As darkness took him again, he whispered a silent apology, hoping that somehow, you’d hear it through the abyss that now separated you both.

It can't be over. He refused to believe that. Sylus could break every bone in his body but as long as you were alive he had a reason to keep trying. To keep breathing.

And then, everything went black, the ache in his chest the only thing anchoring him to the world that had become his prison.

You drifted back to consciousness slowly, the softness of the couch beneath you lulling you into a false sense of comfort. Your limbs felt heavy, and a warm, hazy grogginess clung to your mind, reluctant to let go. The quiet in the room was strangely soothing, like a lullaby still playing softly, coaxing you to stay in the safety of sleep. For a fleeting moment, it was as though you could forget everything—reality, the ever-present fear, the oppressive darkness of the N109 Zone. Just a quiet, dream-filled nap.

But then your eyes began to flutter, and reality crept back in.

The dim lighting was familiar, casting a muted glow across the room that felt too controlled, too perfect. As you blinked your eyes open, adjusting to the low light, you felt the prickle of a presence beside you, heavy and unyielding. You dared a small glance, only to find Sylus sitting there, a coin flipping between his fingers in a lazy rhythm, his eyes fixed somewhere far beyond the room, his expression unreadable.

A surge of tension jolted through you, awakening every nerve. The sleepiness vanished in an instant, replaced by a steady, growing apprehension as you took in his frame, rigid yet somehow calm, a picture of controlled power. The coin flicked up and down, catching the light, its metallic glint mesmerizing yet unsettling. You didn’t dare move, holding your breath as you watched him from beneath lowered lashes, hoping he’d remain oblivious to the fact that you’d woken.

But after a moment, he chuckled, the sound low and taunting, a dark, knowing amusement filling the room.

“I know you’re awake, sweetie,” he said, voice dripping with a kind of sinister charm. “You can open those pretty eyes back up.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you realized you’d been caught. How had he known? You thought you’d kept still, kept quiet, yet he had sensed you there, awake and aware. He hadn't even looked at you! Hesitantly, you opened your eyes fully, meeting his gaze. His lips curved into a smile, but it was the kind that made the warmth from your nap vanish entirely.

He caught the coin one last time, fingers gripping it firmly as he leaned toward you, his eyes gleaming with something that sent a shiver down your spine. “Enjoy your nap?” he asked, the question deceptively casual.

You forced yourself to sit up, feigning ease, and nodded, willing your voice to remain steady. “Yeah…it was nice,” you replied carefully. “Guess I needed more sleep.”

“Hmm,” he murmured, his gaze assessing as his fingers moved to the top of your head, smoothing down your hair in a way that felt more possessive than tender. “No need to lie about sleeping well, honey. If you’re having trouble sleeping, I’ll take care of it. Pregnancy can be brutal on sleep. I’ll make sure we find something safe to help.”

His words were soft, coaxing, but they left you feeling more trapped than ever. You gave him a small, polite smile, praying it looked sincere as he lingered, his fingers stilling on your head in a gesture that felt heavy with intent. You stared down at the coin now lying on the table, its shiny surface catching in the dim light. It was a distraction, something to focus on to avoid the depth of his gaze.

Sylus, however, wasn’t easily distracted. He caught your subtle evasion, fingers slipping from your hair to your shoulder, where he squeezed lightly, pulling you closer to him. You fought the urge to shrink away, his warmth pressing against you like a weight, binding you in place.

There was an edge to him right now, a tension beneath his calm exterior, and it was palpable in the stillness. You swallowed, gathering your nerves, and decided to take a risk. If he was tense, maybe showing some concern could deflect his attention from you. Play more into the lie that you were starting to care for him. It was worth a try, even if the thought twisted in your stomach.

“Are you…okay?” you asked, voice soft, almost hesitant. You let a hint of worry lace your tone, hoping he’d believe the concern. “You seem…tense.”

A small, almost forced smile curved his lips, and he tilted his head, considering you. “Just had a pest to take care of,” he said, dismissing the matter as though it were nothing. He gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze, a gesture that felt possessive rather than comforting, as if to remind you of exactly where you were and who controlled your movements.

The word hung in the air, colder than the dim, heavy silence that followed. A pest. The way he said it made something twist uncomfortably in your stomach. Sylus had a habit of using simple words to mask what were often dark realities, a trick that had haunted you since he’d taken you away. A pest could mean anything, but knowing Sylus, it was likely something—or someone—he had dispatched without a second thought.

"Ah...a pest. Sorry to hear," you murmur, forcing a calm you don’t quite feel. Your stomach tightens with nerves as you say it, your mind racing with dark imaginings of what "pest" could mean in Sylus’s world. More than likely, he’d snuffed someone’s life with the very same hands now touching you with such tenderness. You try to ignore the uneasy chill that creeps up your spine, reminding yourself to stay composed, to keep up the act. This was all a role, after all—anything to stay safe.

Seeking a distraction, you lean over and tap at Sylus's watch, catching sight of the sleek design and polished metal that glints under the faint room light. You hadn’t really noticed it before, but it’s clearly an expensive piece, crafted with meticulous detail. It feels out of place, almost surreal, like every bit of luxury around you.

"What time is it?" you ask, squinting toward the window by the door. The murky darkness beyond is a constant reminder of where you are, a place utterly devoid of sunlight. A twinge of longing rises in your chest. God, what you would give just to see a single sliver of sunlight breaking through.

Sylus glances down at the watch, his face calm. "About 1 p.m. You were out for quite a while." There’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes. "Falling asleep watching cooking shows, no less. You like to cook?"

You resist the urge to scoff. He was already familiar with the answer; wasn’t that part of the game here? Sylus had made it clear how obsessively he’d studied every aspect of your life, leaving you feeling as if your own likes and dislikes, your small joys, were now mere facts in some twisted report he kept on you.

"Shouldn’t you already know?" you quip, trying to keep the bitterness from slipping into your tone. "You said yourself you knew everything about me. Probably know how many individual eyelashes I have too," you joke lightly, masking the irritation with a forced smile.

Sylus chuckles, his laughter rich and genuine, as if truly entertained by your comment. "And if I do?" he replies, his voice both playful and unsettling.

You turn to meet his gaze, surprised at the directness of his response. There’s a glint in his eye, a hint of something that sends a shiver through you, even though you do everything to hide it.

"Well then…you’re even more dedicated than I thought," you say, injecting a light, teasing note into your voice and forcing a soft smile. It feels strange, twisting words meant to hint at gratitude when a far sharper, less flattering term is on the tip of your tongue.

Dedicated wasn’t the word. Obsessed, maybe. Possessive, definitely. But that wouldn’t fit the part you had to play. Not if you were going to keep him in the dark about your true thoughts and intentions. You couldn’t afford to slip, not even once. The only chance at freedom you had was through manipulation, and the only way that would work was if you sold every lie as though you believed it with your whole heart.

Playing along—making him believe you wanted to be here, that you were coming around to his twisted idea of a life together—was your only shot. Every smile, every touch had to look real. It was a dance you had to perform perfectly if you wanted him to lower his guard, to let you see enough of this place to understand it. And if you could do that, if you could slowly, carefully, find your way through this labyrinth of a mansion, then maybe you could plan an escape. It was a desperate hope, but it was all you had.

Besides, you’d only seen a fraction of the mansion—enough to know it was enormous, enough to know it was a maze you had to learn. There was no way you could get out of here without knowing every detail, every exit, and he had left you with only fragments to work from.

"Sylus," you begin, voice softer now, as though you’re testing the waters. "I’ve been here awhile, but I’ve only really seen the living room, the dining hall, the nursery, and…well, your room." You force your gaze downward, channeling an innocence you don’t feel, hoping it’s enough to mask the sharp edge of your true intentions. Asking for more access felt like dancing on a knife's edge—one wrong word, and you’d be locked in that room again, losing even the small amount of freedom he’d permitted.

“That’s very true,” he replies, his voice laced with curiosity. He tilts his head slightly, his eyes narrowing just a bit, his gaze a silent demand to continue. "What are you getting at, kitten?"

You take a breath, willing the nerves away, and look toward him with a careful, hopeful expression. Showtime. You reach for his hands, gently taking them in yours, and give a small, almost timid squeeze. His hands are warm, large, and hold yours with an easy authority that you ignore.

"Well…" You give a slight, shy smile. "Since I’m going to be raising a baby here, don’t you think I should know what the rest of the house looks like? We’ll need to babyproof everything, anyway." You let out a soft laugh and force your best smile, even as your heart races.

"Please?"

He says nothing at first, just studies your face, every detail of it, his expression unreadable. His silence stretches, stretching long enough to send a cold trickle of doubt through you, your skin prickling as you try to read him. His hands hold yours steadily, and though his grip isn’t harsh, there’s a firmness there, a controlled strength that keeps you from pulling back.

Then, finally, he squeezes your hands back, and you force yourself not to pull away as his gaze sharpens, amusement flashing through his eyes as he chuckles softly. “I already let you out of the room, and now you want more?” His tone is teasing, but there’s a slight edge to it, enough to remind you of how fragile your position is here, how easily he could shut this down. "Greedy, aren’t you?"

A cold sweat breaks out along your neck, and you feel your heart stutter in panic. Had you asked too soon? Had he caught onto your real intentions? You swallow the fear and press a small, apologetic laugh from your lips, tilting your head in a way you hope looks endearing.

"But," he continues, his face softening just enough to let you breathe again, "it’s hard to say no when you’re looking at me like that." His lips curve into a small, satisfied smile as he nods. “You can be a little greedy since you're pregnant, my love."

A thrill of excitement rushes through you, real and raw, breaking through the cautious pretense you’d kept so carefully crafted. For once, you don’t have to fake the spark of interest in your eyes. It was an unexpected freedom, an unsupervised look at the rest of this mansion—and you couldn’t help but feel a surge of possibility at every new detail.

“Thank you, Sylus.” The words are soft but intentionally genuine, and as you meet his gaze, you keep a veil of sincere gratitude over your excitement. You lean over and give him a small peck on the cheek, much to his surprise. He seems a little taken aback by you gratitude but gives you a gentle smile. He holds your hand firmly as he guides you down the winding hallways, the feel of his fingers entwined with yours as binding as your own resolve to see this through. With every step, you commit to memory the twists and turns of the layout, noting windows, entryways, exits—anything that might be useful.

His voice draws you from your thoughts as he gestures to the first room, pushing open the door with an easy familiarity. “Here’s the pool room,” he says, voice tinged with a hint of pride. The room opens into a spacious area filled with sleek, blue-tiled floors, a pristine pool stretching almost the entire length of the room. The water reflects the soft ambient lighting overhead, casting an inviting shimmer across the walls. The edges are rimmed with elegant stone tiling, and a series of lounge chairs are arranged nearby, as if ready to host a small group.

You try to hide the awe in your eyes as you take in the serene space. “It’s…gorgeous,” you say, turning to him with an appreciative smile. “You must spend a lot of time here?”

He nods, a small, satisfied smile on his face. “I do. It’s peaceful. Good place to clear my head.”

You allow yourself to take a few steps closer to the water’s edge, admiring the tranquility that fills the space. It almost feels like you’re somewhere else entirely, far from the tension that typically fills the house. “I can see that,” you murmur, the sound of the gentle ripples in the water almost mesmerizing.

His hand slips back into yours as he guides you out of the pool room and further down the hall. "Come, there’s more to see.”

The next door swings open into a gym, and the space is fully outfitted: weights, machines, treadmills, and even a boxing ring nestled in the far corner. Your eyes widen, taking in the variety of equipment and the sheer dedication that must have gone into curating the room. The walls are a stark black, the floor a clean, polished tile that gleams under the overhead lights. Every detail speaks of intensity and focus, a place meant for honing skill and strength.

“So, you really don’t skimp on fitness,” you remark, glancing over at him with a raised brow. “The boxing ring and everything?”

He chuckles, pleased by your reaction. “Of course. It’s important to stay in shape, to keep my strength up.” He leads you to the edge of the ring, tapping the ropes lightly. “You box, too?” you ask, your curiosity piqued.

He grins, almost mischievously. “Its just a hobby, nothing serious. A way to pass the time.”

You nod, letting your gaze drift around the room, mentally cataloging every angle and piece of equipment. Sylus watches you, his face alight with satisfaction, seeming to enjoy the reaction he’s evoking. “I’m impressed,” you reply, layering your words with genuine-sounding admiration, hoping it masks your true purpose. “Will you teach me sometime, Sy?”

He raises an eyebrow, looking amused, and after a thoughtful pause, nods. “Why not? After our little one arrives, I’ll show you everything I know.”

The mention of the baby jolts through you, your stomach tightening. You had been pushing the thought to the back of your mind, burying it beneath everything else—but it seemed Sylus had no intention of letting you forget. Not for a moment.

"Right…thank you,” you manage to say, hoping he doesn’t sense the slight tremor in your voice. “This place is exquisite.”

He hums in agreement before guiding you toward the exit, back into the hallway. “You’ll see. There’s a lot here. A place for everything.”

He pauses by the next door, a slight glint of amusement in his eyes as he opens it. The room that greets you is completely unexpected—a wide, empty space with mirrored walls, hardwood floors, and… a dance pad. Your surprise must be evident because he chuckles softly, closing the door behind you both.

“A dance pad?” you ask, not quite able to hide the surprise in your voice. “I didn’t peg you for a dancer.”

He gives a low chuckle, crossing his arms as he watches your reaction. “Everyone has their quirks, I suppose.”

Unable to resist, you step onto the smooth floor, glancing down at the pad. It’s a pristine set-up, clearly well-kept, as though someone actually uses it. You glance back at him, eyebrows raised. “So…do you actually use this?” You try to keep the amusement out of your tone, but it slips through, your curiosity genuine.

He shakes his head, his eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. “No, not often. It was more of an impulse purchase than anything. You're free to use it if you like though, kitten.”

Suppressing a laugh, you glance away, imagining him using the dance pad, and it’s almost too much to picture him doing anything other than exuding control. You shake your head lightly, turning back to him. “Well, I’ll have to take your word for it.”

He grins, clearly enjoying your surprise, before he takes your hand and guides you back out into the hallway. As you move further down, your curiosity piqued by every turn and every new door, a question nags at you.

“Where do Luke and Kieran stay?” you ask, trying to keep your tone casual, like a question borne out of simple curiosity.

“They don’t live here,” he replies easily, glancing down at you with a slight smirk. “But they aren’t far. Close enough if they’re needed. They spend quite a bit of time here though.”

You nod, filing the information away. So, they don’t stay here, but they’re close. It’s another detail you could use, another fact that might mean something if an opportunity arose.

The next room Sylus opens is another surprise: a comfortable, cozy space filled with large bookshelves and plush seating, much more inviting than the rest of the mansion’s cold, grandiose design. The contrast is startling, and you can’t help but admire the warm tones of the wood, the elegant lighting that casts soft shadows on the walls.

“This is the library,” he explains, watching your reaction closely. “You’re welcome to use it whenever you want.”

Your gaze lingers on the spines of the books, taking in the range of genres and titles. “It’s beautiful,” you murmur, genuine awe slipping into your voice. It’s the first place that actually feels…relaxing. A place you could lose yourself in for hours, escape within these walls even if only in the pages of a book.

He seems pleased by your reaction, and you make sure to keep the interest visible on your face, your fingers brushing over the backs of the books as you take it all in. The space here feels safe in a way the other rooms didn’t, the chaos of your current reality somehow held at bay in this quiet sanctuary.

But, as always, Sylus’s presence is a constant reminder, and the grip he keeps on your hand pulls you back into reality as he leads you out once more, your newfound sense of calm quickly dissipating.

As you stroll through the shelves, another thought begins to form in your mind. There had to be thousands of books, perhaps this library held one small thing that could genuinely be useful to you: knowledge. Knowledge about this pregnancy, about what exactly your body was going through.

And maybe...what to "avoid".

Your steps slow just a bit, feigning hesitation. “Sylus,” you begin, glancing up at him, letting your tone be soft but curious, “do you have any books about pregnancy in here? I’d like to know more about what’s happening. In my body.”

The request seems to please him, a subtle glint of pride crossing his face as he gives a small nod. “I thought you might ask eventually,” he replies, his voice a mixture of amusement and interest. “Wait here.”

He gestures toward a chair tucked into the alcove near the end of the library, and you settle into it, watching him disappear into the labyrinth of shelves with purposeful strides. Left alone in the stillness, you allow yourself a quick scan of the area, but see nothing of interest, save for the distant rows of books and that familiar, heavy silence. Everything here is so perfectly curated, so precisely arranged, and yet, as much as you try to distract yourself, the tension gnawing at your thoughts feels sharper now.

Time drags on, each minute stretching painfully as you sit in silence, your mind a whirlwind of nerves and planning. Eventually, you hear his approaching footsteps, and soon, Sylus reappears, carrying a neat stack of hardcovers, his lips curved in a slight smile.

“Here we go,” he says, setting the stack down on the table beside you. He steps back, folding his arms as he watches your reaction with that familiar, intense interest. “Everything you could need, or want to know” he adds, pride in his voice.

“Thank you,” you say, trying to sound genuinely grateful as you reach for the first book. You glance down at the cover—The Stages of Pregnancy: A Month-by-Month Guide—and flip it open with a careful hand, as if you’re handling something fragile. “It’ll be good to know what to expect, right?” you add, glancing up at him with what you hope looks like a soft smile.

"Of course,” he replies, his gaze settling on you in that thoughtful way that makes your skin prickle. “I can make accommodations for whatever you need, but understanding it for yourself…well, I imagine that would make this feel easier for you.”

You nod, flipping slowly through the pages, half skimming, half pretending to read. Then, as if by chance, your gaze snags on a paragraph labeled, “Seven Weeks: The Size of a Blueberry.” The words catch in your mind, sticking like unwelcome thorns.

“Oh…here,” you murmur, tracing the line with your finger. “It says here that the baby is the size of a blueberry or a grape right now.” The words feel strange, almost surreal coming out of your mouth, as if they’re someone else’s. You force a calm expression as you look back up at Sylus, noting the gleam of satisfaction and…tenderness? In his eyes. This was real to him, more real than you ever could have anticipated.

“How cute” he murmurs, as though savoring the thought. He moves closer, settling into the chair beside you, a shadow of reverence on his face as he leans just a bit nearer. His hand instinctively reaches toward you, hovering near your shoulder, but he draws it back just as quickly.

“Yes…fascinating,” you murmur, glancing back down at the book, feigning a smile even as your stomach twists with something colder. It was all too real now, this moment—a growing reminder of the life you were both creating and dreading, one as small as a berry yet powerful enough to bind you here.

You keep turning the pages, scanning over every single line for something specific—anything about foods to avoid, medications, activities that might be dangerous, anything that might provide some small escape route. But the bright, pastel pages offer only endless suggestions for a “healthy, positive pregnancy experience.” Each book is filled with joyful phrases and soft illustrations, almost too perfect, like something out of a surreal nightmare. With each turn of the page, frustration bubbles up, mingling with something darker.

You try the next book, then another. There’s no sign of precautions or restrictions, just more idealized depictions of the “bonding” process. As you flip through the final book, a sickening realization settles in: several sections are conspicuously missing. You can see the faint edges where pages were once bound, but they’ve been removed. Ripped out.

Your pulse quickens, anger twisting in your stomach, but you keep your face calm, still as you look at Sylus. His gaze is fixed on you, warm and utterly calm, as though he’s waiting to see how you’ll react. You can feel him studying every move, every expression, savoring this unspoken game of power.

Clearing your throat, you gather your composure and flash a small, questioning smile, doing your best to sound innocently curious. “I’m finding a lot of do’s in these books,” you say softly, each word carefully measured, “but not a lot of don’ts. Are these…outdated?”

His response is immediate, his gaze never wavering. His lips curve into a slight, indulgent smile. “Not at all. I know exactly what you should avoid,” he says smoothly, his voice dripping with authority masked in reassurance. “So there’s no need to worry your little head about it, sweetie.” He’s almost mocking you, a trace of condescension slipping through the veneer of warmth. He sees straight through your question and wants you to know it.

Your fingers tighten around the book, knuckles white as you force your face to remain neutral. Inside, fury claws at you, tearing at every last thread of restraint. He’s so smug, so confident in his control over you, that he doesn’t even pretend otherwise. Of course, he’s thought ten steps ahead, torn out every page that could’ve hinted at ways to “accidentally” sabotage this pregnancy. He’s made sure that you have no means of escape, no options except the ones he allows.

But you swallow your anger, fighting back the venom you want to spit back at him. Instead, you let your expression soften, tilting your head as if his words have comforted you. Your voice comes out sweet, too sweet, the way he wants to hear it. “I trust you, Sylus. Thank you.”

He seems pleased with your response, and as he reaches out to gently brush a strand of hair from your face, you resist the urge to recoil. Inside, a storm is raging, but you keep your mask firmly in place, knowing it’s the only power you have left.

Sylus stops just before the door, a small, teasing smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “There’s still one more area to show you,” he says, his tone casual, though there’s a spark of something knowing in his eyes. “Although, you’ve likely seen it already.”

Your heart skips, and you swallow hard. Of course, he’s talking about the horse track. The last place you saw in your frantic escape attempt. Instantly, memories flash before you: scrambling over the fence, the desperate pull in your muscles as you fought for freedom, only to be dragged back into his world. The bitter taste of that night lingers in your mind, and you force yourself to blink it away, to ignore the cold chill that grips you as he opens the door and leads you outside.

When you step into the expansive back area, it’s breathtaking. The open area stretches out endlessly, perfectly groomed, dotted with white flowers swaying gently in the breeze. The massive oak trees create a picturesque frame, and the fence, glinting in the muted moonlight, is unmistakably taller, as if mocking you with its new height. It’s beautiful, undeniably so, a luxurious landscape that, if it weren’t for your current reality, might have seemed like a dream. A taunt.

"How are these plants and trees growing without sunlight Sylus?" you ask, eyeing the flowers.

"They're fake. Plants have a hard time growing here. I ship grass regularly for the horses to graze on along with their other meals" he replies.

How thoughtful of him. At least he seems to care about the horses wellbeing. You can't help but wonder how healthy it is for a horse to go without sunlight exposure though.

Sylus’s voice breaks through your thoughts, calling your attention to the horses lined up in their stalls, majestic creatures with shiny, well-groomed coats. He introduces each of them by name—Eclipse, Fenwick, Zephyr, and Ambrosia. The names are as unique as they are, and he strokes each horse’s neck with a gentleness that surprises you. Despite yourself, you can’t help but marvel at them, nodding as he explains each horse’s quirks with a level of affection that seems almost out of place. “Beautiful horses,” you murmur, hoping the sincerity sounds genuine, though a part of you can’t shake the irony of admiring the very place that had denied you freedom.

Just then, a soft “meow” sounds at your feet, snapping you from your thoughts. You glance down and blink in surprise. There, staring up at you with curious green eyes, is a small, fluffy black cat. And another, slinking out from behind a bale of hay. Then another, and another—until nearly ten cats have surrounded you, their little heads tilting as they examine the new arrival.

“Oh, must be lunchtime.” Sylus’s tone is amused as he steps over to the stall, pulling out a few cans of wet food. He methodically opens them, setting them out as the cats swarm around his feet, purring and meowing in eager anticipation.

“Are these your cats, Sy?” you ask, surprised at the softness in your own voice as you watch him tend to them. You curse yourself the second the nickname slips out. Too familiar. Too comfortable. But Sylus just smiles, scratching a particularly bold tabby behind its ears.

“I wouldn’t say mine, exactly,” he replies, casting a glance down at the cats as they rub against his legs, eager for attention. “One of them showed up hungry one day, jumped the fence somehow, so I fed him. Guess he told his friends and family about the food, and they just…kept coming back.”

You watch him, taken aback by the sight of your captor, the man who so meticulously controls your every movement, giving such easy affection to a stray cat. You can feel your thoughts churning, grasping for some understanding, but it only raises more questions. He chuckles as a few more cats join the others, and he pauses to scratch the head of a scruffy gray one, speaking softly to it in a way that nearly—nearly—makes him seem human.

And though you force yourself to keep the façade, to act gracious and grateful, inside you’re cursing the twisted mix of emotions that this moment stirs up.

You can’t help but find it ironic. Sylus, the man who controls everything—down to the lock on your ankle chain—claims he doesn’t “own” the cats, says they can come and go freely. Yet here you are, under his roof and his rule, with freedom as unreachable as the sun in the N109 Zone.

The words are on the tip of your tongue, the urge to point out the hypocrisy flickering in your mind, but you bite them back. No, this isn’t the time to speak your thoughts. Instead, you kneel down, reaching out to one of the cats, a scrappy little tabby with one bright, curious eye and the other an empty, scarred socket. The cat leans into your hand, purring deeply as you scratch beneath its chin, its coarse fur oddly comforting beneath your fingertips.

“Looks like Cooper likes you,” Sylus observes, his gaze never straying from you.

“Cooper,” you echo, glancing up briefly, your voice softer than you intended. You try to focus on the rough little creature in your hands, letting its simple contentment distract you. If only you could just walk away, like this little one could if he wished.

Sylus watches you, and for a brief moment, there’s a hint of something softer in his eyes, as if he’s reading your thoughts. He kneels down beside you, his hand brushing over Cooper’s head, and you can feel his attention as if it were a weight pressing on you. You force yourself to keep petting the cat, willing yourself to stay calm, to keep up the act, to smile and nod.

If only he knew.

Sylus’s eyes are on you, his gaze smoldering, heavy with admiration that borders on obsession. The intensity in his stare prickles your skin, and heat rises in your cheeks, unbidden and unwelcome. You avert your eyes, hoping to temper the rush of nerves fluttering through you, feeling suddenly small under the weight of his attention.

“Y-yes?” The question comes out shaky, barely a whisper, as you force yourself to meet his gaze, but only briefly. It’s like looking directly at the sun—captivating, but dangerous. You can’t seem to keep the heat from creeping up your neck, burning hotter as his eyes soften, a smile tugging at his lips.

“You’re just… so beautiful,” he murmurs, leaning closer. His words are a gentle caress, brushing against every shield you’ve tried to raise, slipping past them, finding their way in despite your efforts to stay detached. Before you can react, he closes the distance, his mouth pressing softly against yours, the warmth and possessiveness in his kiss dizzying. You feel his hand cradle your face, his fingers brushing against your cheek with a tenderness that feels almost surreal, given the suffocating reality of your situation.

Your heart pounds wildly, and an ache settles low in your chest, a dangerous stirring of emotion you refuse to entertain. You try to focus elsewhere, force yourself to stay vigilant, to keep your mind away from the way his lips move against yours. As if on instinct, your eyes drift over his shoulder, searching for anything to ground you.

Then, you see it—a dark red smear in the dirt, barely visible against the shadows by one of the horse stalls. Your stomach drops, and an icy chill cuts through the haze Sylus has drawn you into. A strange fear seeps into your thoughts, sharpening them, pulling you out of the moment and rooting you back into the grim reality of your circumstances.

“Sylus…” You pull back, voice soft, your words catching slightly. “Did one of the horses…get hurt?” Your eyes linger on the spot of blood, every nerve on edge as you try to mask the growing tension inside you.

Sylus’s gaze follows yours, his expression flickering from surprise to something darker, something almost guarded. The ease in his expression evaporates, his eyes narrowing slightly as he assesses the bloodstain. For a second, you think you see irritation flash across his face before he smooths it over with a small, unreadable smile.

“Hm,” he hums, tilting his head thoughtfully, though the tightness in his posture betrays his calm facade. “I don’t think so. Must be from that pest I mentioned earlier.” His voice is casual, but there’s a coldness behind the words, a dangerous edge that makes you wonder what—or rather who—he might consider a “pest.” He straightens, his expression closing off, but the darkness in his eyes lingers, unspoken but unmistakable.

“I’ll have the twins take care of it,” he adds, his tone light, almost dismissive, though you can sense the faintest trace of something far more sinister hidden beneath it. He turns back to you, and the ease returns to his expression, but now it feels forced, like a carefully practiced mask that he’s used countless times before.

The words settle uneasily in your chest, and you feel a prickle of fear creep down your spine as his thumb traces lazy circles over your knuckles. He’s watching you with an intensity that feels as if it could peel away the layers of your facade if you’re not careful, and you force yourself to keep your expression neutral, to mask the suspicion and dread swirling inside you.

“Alright,” you murmur softly, forcing a smile as your gaze meets his once more, masking the apprehension twisting in your gut. The words feel hollow, but you hope they’re enough to placate him, to make him believe that his secrets are safe, that you’re not questioning every word that slips from his lips.

Yet even as you stand there, his hand enveloping yours in a feigned gesture of reassurance, the sight of the bloodstain is burned into your mind. It serves as a bitter reminder of the truth he’s tried to obscure beneath smiles and whispered promises, and as you feign gratitude, you know you can’t afford to let your guard down. Not now. Not ever.

Sylus stood and stretched after some time, allowing a lazy smile to spread across his face as he took a final look around the open space and the warm, purring cats at your feet. He watched you, savoring the barely concealed disappointment that flickered across your face as he said, “Alright, time for us to get back inside for lunch.”

You hesitated, casting a glance at the cats lounging contentedly near you, one or two curling around your ankles as if to say goodbye. “I’ll miss them,” you murmured, reaching down to scratch the ear of a sleek black one with a torn ear. The small admission tugged at something in Sylus, a reminder that despite the careful guard you kept up, moments like these were still real.

But then his gaze shifted to the faint red stain in the dirt, and his smile slipped, just for a second. Xavier had been as stubborn as he’d expected. Unruly, unpredictable, and unwilling to admit defeat. The faint bruise on Sylus's knuckles was a testament to that. He’d told himself that dealing with Xavier would bring him a sense of closure, and it had—to an extent. Yet, seeing you look at the stain, asking about it, he couldn’t deny a small twinge of irritation. He didn’t want you dwelling on anything to do with Xavier, knowingly or not. That chapter was supposed to be closed, shut tight, and locked away.

Still, he chuckled inwardly. You, and your quiet persistence, had become more fascinating than he’d anticipated. The bloodstain bothered you; he could see it in the way you looked at him, the veiled questions in your eyes. He tried his best reassure you, convince you that it didn’t matter. And yet, there was a small ache in his heart in the way you looked at him, unsure if you could trust his words. For him, your little glances and careful words only reinforced that you were still a work in progress, no matter how much of an act you tried to put on for him.

As you leaned down to pet one of the stray cats, he felt a strange pang. There was something almost serene in how you looked at the cat, how gently your fingers brushed against its fur. He could understand why the cats returned to his estate; they were loyal to the hand that fed them but still roamed freely, unbound. A thought flickered in his mind—a parallel he quickly dismissed.

“What are you thinking?” he found himself asking, and though his voice was calm, he watched you closely, searching for any sign of defiance, any glimpse of the real thoughts he knew you held back.

“Just…that the cats seem happy here,” you replied softly, and while the words were polite, almost indifferent, he could see something sharper, a glint of anger hidden in the depths of your gaze. He had no doubt you’d drawn the comparison to your own situation.

He smirked, feeling a surge of amusement as he leaned in closer, letting his fingers brush against your hand, a possessive gesture. “They come and go, sure,” he murmured, his tone deliberately soft, intimate. “But they always come back, don’t they?”

You didn’t respond, and he could see the faint tension in your shoulders as you continued petting the cat, carefully avoiding his gaze. He let the silence stretch, enjoying the subtle power play, the dance of control between the two of you. The thought lingered—just how long would you keep fighting? How long until you finally accepted the life he was giving you?

He didn’t miss the way your shoulders softened, a subtle release of tension, though whether it was from the promise of food or the chance to put distance between yourself and that bloodstain, he couldn’t say for certain. But he knew. He was perceptive, and though you’d gotten better at masking your expressions, your body still betrayed you.

He’d watched you perfect the art of masking your true thoughts, layer by careful layer. A slight upturn of the lips, a practiced smile. A flicker in your gaze that quickly gave way to feigned admiration. He couldn’t deny that a part of him was impressed, even entertained. He liked seeing you evolve like this—thoughtful, clever, adaptive. But what truly intrigued him was the innocence you projected; he enjoyed it, let himself be pulled into this game. He allowed you to feel the illusion of control, as if you were the one carefully crafting this delicate balance between resistance and affection.

He chuckled to himself, the sound low and almost indulgent. You had no idea the effect you had on him, the strings you pulled without even realizing it. And though he knew he was the one orchestrating every piece of this twisted dynamic, he let you believe otherwise. He let you think you had him fooled, that he couldn’t see through the charming glances, the coy questions, the calculated affection. And yet, despite every barrier he had, he wanted those words, that warmth from you. He wanted them to be real.

If he was honest with himself, there was a part of him that longed to be on the receiving end of genuine care from you. His hand brushed against your shoulder as he guided you back toward the house, and he found himself savoring the brief touch, however fleeting.

But he wouldn’t rush it. He would let you play this little game for a while longer, allow you to think you were the one calling the shots. And when the time came, when he shattered that delicate illusion, it would be on his terms. Until then, he would savor each exchange, each careful glance, each word that fell from your lips, real or not. You had him wrapped around your finger, whether or not you realized the full extent of it.

And the thought? It amused him.

As you entered the dining room, he noticed the subtle way you seemed to take in every detail around you—the long hallways, the faintly lit chandeliers casting warm shadows, the polished floors beneath your feet. He almost smiled to himself, watching you catalog the space, probably even the exit routes. It was cute, in a way, how careful you were being, like you could somehow memorize the layout of his entire home in one meal.

He didn’t mind. Not at all. As long as you didn't try anything.

“Here we are,” he murmured, steering you gently into the dining room, where an array of dishes already awaited. The table was lavishly spread, but not so much that it was unrecognizable—bread, fresh fruit, cold cuts, and cold drinks that filled the air with savory warmth. Sylus guided you to a seat, pulling the chair out with a small, deliberate gesture before sitting down across from you, eyes intent on your every move.

You gazed at the table, your hunger apparently winning out over the frustration he knew lingered somewhere beneath the surface. Sylus watched as you lifted your fork, that carefully composed expression settling back over your face. He allowed himself to relax, picking up his own fork and cutting into his meal, though his gaze flickered over to you with each quiet bite.

A part of him enjoyed this simple act, the mundanity of it—a normal lunch, a meal shared. Yet even in this moment, he couldn’t ignore the ever-present current of tension that ran between you. He knew you were watching, studying. You were trying so hard to give the appearance of calm. He wondered how long it would last.

As you glanced up at him, he offered a casual, almost teasing smile, leaning back in his chair as he set down his fork.

"No cold cuts for you," he said, his tone gentle but firm as he nudged the plate of cold sandwiches out of your reach. "These are grilled chicken sandwiches," he explained, sliding a different plate closer to you. "These are safer for you and our baby."

Sylus watched the subtle flicker of annoyance that flashed across your face when he moved the cold cuts out of reach. It was gone almost instantly, replaced by a polite compliance as you reached for the grilled chicken sandwiches he’d set out for you. You were getting good at masking your expressions, he had to admit. But, as usual, your body told him more than you realized—just a hint of tension in your shoulders, a subtle tightening in your jaw.

Good. You didn’t know it yet, but this tiny rebellion pleased him. He kinda liked when you revealed these small glimpses of resistance, even if they were fleeting. They reminded him of the strength you carried beneath the surface, the fire he found so enticing.

A shame he would have to shatter the illusion sooner or later.

As you picked up a slice of mango, he leaned back, taking in your careful movements, the slight restraint in your eyes. He knew you found his supervision maddening, the constant watch over every bite, every step. But he had promised himself to keep you and the baby safe, and he would see that through.

Satisfied with your obedience, he finally turned to his own plate, his appetite sharpening as he replayed the moment in his mind, savoring the small victory of your compliance. It didn’t matter if you played along reluctantly; it was the control he held over the situation that brought him ease.

Each meal like this, each time you did what he asked—no matter how begrudgingly—deepened his resolve. He’d continue to let you think you had some upper hand, that you were in control of your emotions and your reactions. But he’d always be watching, silently reveling in each little battle. For now, he’d let you play along.

Much time passed after that. Sylus could tell, even before you spoke, that your nausea had returned with a vengeance. The signs were all there: the way you held your stomach, the faint crease in your brow as you tried to mask the discomfort. He’d been through this routine with you countless times by now, keeping close by as you battled each wave. He’d spent so many hours by your side, his hands gently holding back your hair, wiping the stray strands from your face, offering a damp cloth to cool your skin afterward.

He'd tried a bunch of things to help with the sickness. Tea, medicine, even changing your diet a bit. But nothing really helped. Seems the baby was determined to give you a hard time regardless.

It surprised him sometimes, how easily he’d fallen into this role, how even your smallest needs had started to matter to him in ways he couldn’t have imagined. When you refused his help with certain things, like showering, he respected the boundary, though reluctantly. The idea of you in there alone, especially with what he knew about the later stages of pregnancy, troubled him.

He’d read in detail about the instability women often faced in their third trimesters, the sudden falls that could turn into something worse. A chill ran down his spine whenever he thought of you stumbling, unbalanced, and he was resolved to be more insistent on helping you shower when that time came. For now, though, he let you have the small distance you needed.

It was a shame you were feeling so unwell. He'd be lying if he said he didn't desire to touch you, to feel you under him again. To hear those cute, serene sounds you made when he touched you in the right places. Despite this, your health was much more important to him than satisfying any desires for sex. He could be a very patient man in the right circumstances.

Tonight, he could feel something different in the air. Your restlessness, the way you shifted in bed, never quite finding comfort. You were cuddled with the plushies he had gotten you, trying to lull yourself to sleep. You hadn’t even closed your eyes. Instead, you stared at some invisible point beyond the room, as though you were imagining yourself far away from here. He knew you often felt trapped, the unease that clouded over you whenever he locked the ankle chain in place. And yet, he couldn’t ignore the tinge of something fragile when you finally spoke up.

“Sylus…” your voice broke through the silence, almost too soft, yet enough to pull him to attention. You turned your head, glancing toward him, and he noticed the way your eyes flickered with something like hope. “I feel sick. Can I get some fresh air? Near the horse track?”

He studied you for a moment, seeing the fatigue etched into your features. He was tempted to say no, but something in your gaze held him back. There was a heaviness about you lately, a quiet sort of sadness that he couldn’t break through. It was worrying him. He didn't want you to fall back into the lifeless, emotionless state you had once slumped into. Perhaps a bit of fresh air would help. After a pause, he nodded, reaching for the lock to release the chain around your ankle, his hand lingering as he freed you.

“Alright,” he said, his voice gentle, though his eyes were watchful. He kept his gaze on you, feeling that familiar urge to follow you wherever you went. “But I’ll be right there with—”

The sharp buzz of his phone interrupted, the sound breaking the intimacy of the moment. He saw the name flashing on the screen: Dr. Merrill. A pang of irritation shot through him—this wasn’t the time, not now when he was letting you outside, even for a short time.

He hesitated, glancing between you and the phone. The call could be important, but he couldn’t ignore the flash of relief that crossed your face as you caught his nod of permission. You needed this, even if only for a few moments.

“Go on, sweetie,” he murmured, the reluctance clear in his voice. “I’ll join you shortly. Don’t get too close to the fence.”

He watched as you stepped through the doorway, your shoulders relaxing, a bit of lightness returning to your steps as you disappeared down the hall. His eyes lingered on the empty space where you’d been, the silence settling back over him as he finally lifted the phone to his ear, jaw tight. Dr. Merrill would have to choose his words carefully tonight.

“I assume he’s been dealt with already as I instructed. Why call me so late?” Sylus’s voice held a sharp edge, barely masking his irritation. He hadn’t expected to be disturbed tonight, especially with you outside, likely breathing in what you imagined was your first real taste of freedom in weeks.

A nervous cough sounded from the other end before Dr. Merrill spoke, his tone careful. “Apologies, Sylus. I’ve been keeping an eye on Xavier as you requested. He’s still bedridden, but alert, talking, and his vitals are stable. I informed him, as you wanted, that further attempts would only end worse for him. Whether he’ll listen when he’s back on his feet… well, I can’t say for certain.”

Sylus let out a low, affirmative sound, though his impatience was still evident. “Go on.”

The doctor cleared his throat again, as if gathering himself for what he had to say next. “The real reason I’m calling is that I managed to access her hospital files. Her primary doctor had been Dr. Zayne, and…” He hesitated, his voice turning grave. “It turns out she has Protocore Syndrome.”

Sylus’s grip on the phone tightened slightly. He let out a quiet sigh, massaging his forehead with his free hand. “I’m aware. And from what I’ve seen, it hasn’t given her much trouble so far. Is there something I should be concerned about now?”

The hesitation on Dr. Merrill’s end lingered longer this time. “Well… she’s around eleven weeks, nearly twelve. At that point, in most pregnancies, the risk of miscarriage starts to lower. But in her case, given the Protocore condition, I’d advise extending caution at least until eighteen weeks, if not longer. Even after the baby’s safe, her condition may present complications.”

Sylus exhaled, the words simmering, taking root in his mind. “What kind of complications?”

“Truthfully, with Protocore Syndrome, any added strain on her heart could be… detrimental. It’s been stable, sure, but we’re dealing with an unusual pregnancy, considering that your...genetics. We don’t know the full implications on her system. We should assume anything out of the ordinary could place her at higher risk. There’s a chance, Sylus, that this baby could pose a significant threat to her overall health.” Merrill’s tone was a low murmur, each word layered with caution.

Sylus processed the information slowly, his gaze shifting to where he’d last seen you walking out the door, a sudden weight settling in his chest. “And you’re telling me this now because…?”

“I just reviewed the full records. I didn’t realize until now that her heart was this vulnerable. What I’m suggesting is close monitoring—routine checkups, more frequent scans. She needs to avoid large amounts of stress, both physically and emotionally. A small amount should but fine but if things escalate, her heart could reach a breaking point. Without intervention, it could be…catastrophic.”

Sylus’s fingers drummed slowly against his leg as he listened. He’d known you were fragile, but this was something deeper. “I’ll manage it,” he replied curtly, his tone flat, concealing any hint of concern. “I know what she needs, and I’ve kept her far from anything that could jeopardize her health.”

“I understand,” Merrill said, sounding wary but accepting. “I just thought it best to warn you, considering…her life is far more delicate than you might have realized.”

Sylus was silent for a moment, his jaw tight. “I’ll take care of it, and keep me updated on everything you find out. Keep Xavier contained if he recovers.”

“Understood,” Dr. Merrill replied, his tone tense. “I’ll see to it he’s occupied if he starts asking questions.”

Ending the call, Sylus remained silent, lost in thought, eyes drifting toward the door. He would protect you—he’d make sure every aspect of your care was overseen with precision, even if it meant keeping you closer than ever before.

Deciding to check on you, Sylus lingered by the doorway, a shadow in the cold night, his eyes narrowing as he took in the scene before him. There you were, crouched by the fence, your body huddled against the chill as you examined the latch with nervous, darting glances around you. You seemed entirely focused, fingers trembling slightly as they traced the cold metal, clearly debating your next move. He could see the tension in your shoulders, the way you scanned the area before testing the latch, and a simmering anger ignited within him.

It was the smallest flicker of movement that caught his attention, the way you shifted closer to the gate, cautiously as if any misstep might alert someone, but Sylus saw everything. Each anxious breath you took misted in the cold air, and though he couldn’t see your expression from behind, the very posture of your body screamed of quiet rebellion. His jaw clenched, and his hands balled into fists as he remained rooted in place, watching as you carefully lifted your hand to the lock again, trying to coax it without making a sound.

What did you think you were doing? The thought struck him sharply, but he forced himself to stay silent, letting you think, letting you believe you had gone unnoticed. You were there, so close to the boundary he'd set, so intent on testing it, and he felt an almost bitter pang of disappointment settle into his chest. There was a part of him that wanted to call out, to see your startled reaction right then, but he forced himself to stay hidden, his presence a looming reminder that you were never truly alone in this place.

As you cast another furtive glance over your shoulder, he saw the fear in your eyes, and it only fueled the growing frustration that simmered beneath his calm exterior. You were aware of the risk. You knew what might happen if you were caught, and yet here you were, caught in the very act he had warned against. His eyes narrowed, and he took a silent step forward, ready to make his presence known.

“Sweetie,” he said softly, his voice cutting through the stillness with unsettling clarity.

The sound of his voice froze you instantly, every muscle in your body going rigid as if your worst nightmare had come to life. You slowly turned, dread etched on your face as your gaze met his. You clearly hadn't heard him come up behind you. Sylus’s expression was deceptively calm, his face shadowed but his eyes glinting with a cold, controlled anger that made your breath catch.

“What were you doing?” he asked, his tone soft but laden with unmistakable irritation.

You opened your mouth to answer, but only a shaky breath came out, fear catching the words in your throat. “I…I was just…exploring,” you stammered, your voice barely more than a whisper as you forced yourself to meet his gaze. “It’s all a misunderstanding.”

He took a step closer, his gaze unwavering as he studied you. The quiet stretched between you, thick with tension, and you felt your pulse thudding in your ears as you waited for his response.

Sylus let out a slow sigh, the sound laced with disappointment rather than anger, which somehow made it all the worse. His fingers reached for his belt, and with deliberate slowness, he began to unbuckle it, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Kitten…” he murmured, his voice calm, almost pitying. “Do you remember what I said a few weeks ago about trying anything like this?”

He watches as panic surged through you as realization hit, your eyes racing wildly as his hand pulled the belt free, the leather sliding through the loops with a soft, menacing sound. You began to shake, the tears prickling at the corners of your eyes as you took an involuntary step back. “Sylus…please,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I wasn’t trying to leave. I swear…I’m sorry.”

But your pleas fell on deaf ears. He only shook his head, a faint sadness in his expression as he reached down, his grip firm as he took your arm. “I’m sorry too,” he said, his voice coldly resolute. “But I have to do this until you learn.”

With that, he turned, leading you back into the house, his hand unyielding around your arm. You stumbled behind him, barely able to keep up as he guided you through the doorway and into the familiar warmth of the house. But there was no comfort in that warmth, no reprieve from the dread that coiled tighter in your chest with each step.

The living room loomed ahead, and he guided you to the couch, his grip never loosening even as he sat down, pulling you down with him. You struggled, your voice breaking as you begged him, the fear in your tone echoing in the empty room.

“Sylus please, don’t do this, I'm sorry I'm sorry!” you choked out, but he silenced you with a firm hand on your back, pushing you gently over his knee. His hand lingered there for a moment, resting just above your spine as he leaned down close, his voice a quiet murmur in your ear.

“Don’t cry,” he whispered, almost gently, as though trying to soothe a frightened child. “This is good for you. It’ll only hurt for a bit.”

He could feel your pulse pounding against him, every fiber of your being wanting to pull away, to escape his touch, but you were trapped, his hand a steady weight on your back. He gently lifted the hem of your dress, pulling down your underwear to expose the skin of your ass. You braced yourself, eyes squeezed shut as he adjusted his grip, raising the belt.

“Count them, kitten,” he said, his tone carrying an unyielding finality.

Just a little stress is fine. This was necessary. This was good.

"One..."

Smack.

"Mghn! Two..."

Smack.

"T-three..."

Your voice trembled as you forced the words out, each count a struggle as you choked back tears, the ache settling into your skin as his belt landed in steady, unrelenting strikes against the skin of your ass. Over and over, eleven times. You fought to keep your composure, to stay silent, but the pain built, each strike pushing you closer to breaking.

And all the while, he hoped his words echoed in your mind, the calm finality of his voice a reminder that, here, he held the power. That as much as you wanted to hate him, to defy him, that power loomed larger than any fleeting spark of rebellion.

Sylus’s movements were calculated as he finally loosened his grip on the belt, letting it clatter softly to the floor. He watched you, taking in the sight of you shuddering, face flushed with heat and emotion, eyes red and swollen from tears that now streaked freely down your cheeks. Each sob seemed to cut deeper into him, each tear a reminder of why he’d felt forced to take things this far. His chest tightened as he tried to push down the frustration that flickered beneath his surface calm.

“Come here,” he murmured, gently motioning for you to sit up. His tone softened, and he reached out to touch you, his hands gliding over your butt with a gentleness that seemed out of place after everything that had just happened. He could feel the heat radiating from your skin, a stark contrast to the frigid night air outside. The ache beneath his hand seemed to burn under his touch, and he rubbed slow, soothing circles over the places where the belt had struck, trying to calm the sting.

“Look at me, honey,” he whispered, his voice barely audible as he brushed his fingers beneath your chin. He gently tilted your face up, guiding your gaze back to his. Your face was a picture of heartbreak, your cheeks still wet, lips parted as you tried to catch your breath between soft, broken sobs. Even in your anger, there was a vulnerability in your eyes that made something stir within him—a part of himself he usually tried to keep at bay.

"Are you okay?"

Your silence was louder than any words, a refusal to acknowledge his question. He could feel the anger flickering behind your tears, simmering just beneath the surface. The defiance was there, mixed with something else—hurt, perhaps, or a sense of humiliation. He knew this had pushed you to a breaking point.

His thumb brushed over your cheek, catching a tear as it fell, his hand warm and steady. “I’m sorry it had to come to this, really. When we get to bed, I’ll keep rubbing where it hurts. I’ll make sure you feel better. Do you understand why I had to do it?” he asked, his voice low, almost pleading, as if he hoped his words might somehow bridge the growing chasm between you.

For a long moment, you didn’t answer, your eyes fixed on some distant point as if looking anywhere else might help you avoid the question. He could see the wheels turning in your mind, your expression flickering between hurt and resentment as you processed what had happened. The weight of it hung heavily in the air between you, a silent struggle for control.

Then, finally, a tremor seemed to pass through you, and without warning, you collapsed against his chest, a fresh wave of tears breaking free. You buried your face in the fabric of his shirt, your shoulders trembling as sobs wracked your body. “Yes. I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice muffled and raw, choked with emotion. It was as though all the walls you’d tried to build had come crashing down, leaving you vulnerable and exposed.

Sylus’s arms wrapped around you instinctively, pulling you closer as he rested his chin atop your head. For a moment, he was taken aback, unsure if this was genuine or some desperate attempt to sway him, to appeal to the part of him that still longed for your affection. But he couldn’t deny the way you clung to him, the way your fingers gripped his shirt as though holding onto him would somehow make everything right again.

The thought sent a pang through him, and he tightened his hold, letting you cry as he ran his fingers through your hair, whispering quiet reassurances. “Shh…it’s okay,” he murmured, his tone tender as he continued to hold you, his own anger and frustration melting away in the face of your pain. “It’s all over now, sweetheart. You’re forgiven.” He continued to cradle you, his hand tracing soothing patterns across your back until, slowly, your sobs began to quiet, your breathing steadying as the storm of emotion finally started to subside.

In that moment, as he held you close, he realized something unsettling—something that made his resolve weaken and his heart ache with a mixture of frustration and longing. No matter how much he wanted to control you, to bend your will to his, there was a small part of him that didn’t want to see you break completely.

Sylus sat there, feeling the warmth of your body pressed against his, a dark, unsettling question wormed its way into his mind: How far could he take this? How far could he go before the fragile balance he maintained shattered completely, leaving only resentment and pain between you both?

In his mind, he'd always believed that every boundary he pushed, every small piece of control he gained, would draw you closer, like a force so magnetic that eventually, you'd stop fighting the life he had built. And yet, with each test, each punishment, he felt the weight of his own actions pulling him somewhere he hadn’t planned. Somewhere he couldn’t entirely control.

He looked down at you, slumped against him, eyes closed and cheeks streaked with drying tears, and he felt that familiar conflict twist in his chest. He'd gotten what he wanted, hadn't he? Obedience. An apology. A soft, vulnerable moment in his arms. But as he held you, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the edges of your shoulders, he couldn’t ignore the pang of doubt. He’d pushed you, molded you, cornered you—yet for what? And where was the line?

As he continued to hold you, he felt that question linger, a shadow that darkened the quiet victory of this moment. The way you’d collapsed against him, seeking comfort from the very hands that had brought you to tears, stirred something that felt like satisfaction, yes but also like an ache. He wanted you to be his, truly, willingly—but every step seemed to make him worry that you were being pushed further from that goal, leaving him to wonder if he was only chasing an illusion.

How far could he take this? He didn’t know. But in that quiet space, with you leaning against him, the thought felt less like power and more like a small, ache of sadness in his chest.

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