#until the day men stop sexualising women and little girls / children

[sttoru]

Hi Karina, I really hope I don't offend anyone, but I just want to talk about something that bothered me. So, I know you don't like men and I don't know about your experiences in life with them, but I think you sounded a bit rude and that anon too. I also don't really like real life men (I know most part of them are trash), but I feel like we don't need to be rude to defend ourselves/our point of view. Maybe that guy was really insecure (not trying to be a victim), because men get insecure too, it's not impossible (I'm the mother of two boys and I feel bad when they say they feel like they can't be insecure because it'll look like they're complaining too much or being weak. And when they try to speak up about something - like some people say they should - they're hated on and don't feel like ever talking again. How is that healthy or fair?). It sounded like you were being kinda insensitive and acting like those people who defend women's rights but treat men like they're not human beings (not equally). And maybe you'll say that I can block and unfollow you if I don't like it, but I really like you (and your content) and I just wanted to maybe make you see that we shouldn't treat all the men that badly all the time (generally talking), because they have feelings too. I'm very sorry if I sounded rude or something, but even though I also hate most men, it hurts me to see people treating ALL of them that bad. How do we expect equality if we're not treating each other like it? (It's just my opinion though, take care! <3)

hi love, genuinely what do u want me to do with this information LMAO dont go blaming women and blame men who set up the patriarchy, the entire system, gender roles, standards and everything, bye ! take care🕺

[cherryvanillamilkshakes-blog]

The ‘F’ Word

Cue the sighs. Why is it that ‘feminism’ has to be a term that is associated with such negativity? I can guarantee that even the mention of it has put a few of you off even bothering to continue to read this. But why?

I have identified myself as a feminist ever since I knew what the term actually meant - when I was younger I was told that it was used to describe women who don’t shave their armpits. Now that I’m older and have taken a long look at the world around me, I understand that it’s not that at all, and it’s in fact an entirely necessary ideology to live by.

The fight for women’s rights has been an ongoing battle for years and years, but putting previous feminist movements aside and looking at present day ‘third wave' feminism, which particularly focuses on the overall financial, social and cultural inequalities for women, it completely baffles me that it’s something that we still have to fight for.

Seeing posts about International Women’s Day, it got me thinking: what exactly do we have to celebrate? We can’t ignore the fact that there is a continuous attitude of inferiority towards females in comparison to males, and it seems apparent that this patriarchal structure is not going anywhere. Not only that, but shouldn’t every day be about celebrating women?! Although the thought is universally appreciated, we shouldn’t need a particular day to feel validated. There’s no International Men’s Day, presumably because every day is considered a day to celebrate men? Shouldn’t it be the same for females? 

In saying this, I would like to stress that I personally do NOT consider females who hate males to be feminists, I am all for the rights of both men and women equally, and I don’t believe that this should be achieved through hating men. However, it’s the fight for women’s rights that need to be addressed more urgently than men’s, which I’m sure we can all agree on.

Every time I look at the exact definition of feminism, I often wonder why it’s such a difficult concept to grasp and achieve: “The advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.” Equal rights for both sexes. Not men being more superior to women; not women being more superior to men. Fairness. Equality. That’s it.

My previous part-time job was at a trampoline park. There was a dodgeball court there where we ran games continuously. I cannot count the amount of times I heard comments from young children (particularly boys) saying things such as: “You got beaten by a girl!” accompanied with a roar of laughter. A lot of the time I had to stop myself from asking them what they meant by that. I do realise that it’s not necessarily them being mysoginistic, and it easily could have just been childish banter, but if women’s rights have really come such a long way, then why are young children viewing the idea of girls being fast or strong or simply ‘better’ at something than boys so wrong? I recall another time at work where a young boy was crying, and his father turned around to him and said: “stop crying like a little girl!” Not only does this teach his son that girls should be perceived as weak, but it illustrates the idea that boys should be masculine, and that they aren’t allowed to cry - which they ARE. Once again, this could simply have just been a comment to make his crying child be quiet, but this is just one case in a sea of examples.

Awhile ago, I read something that discussed how women are expected to cook, there are the multiple kitchen jokes which I’m sure we are all familiar with. Yet if you are at a restaurant eating delicious food, it’s a male chef who we presume has cooked it. Isn’t it funny how the stereotype and expectation is commonly addressed with females, right up until she is about to get credit for it?

In my sociology lecture not long ago, my lecturer informed us of a very recent gender inequality example. An employee from a small company in Philadelphia couldn’t work out why the replies to his emails were so out of the ordinary and rude. He then figured out that his colleague’s signature (who is female) had accidentally been attached to several of his emails due to a shared inbox. Upon realising this, he stated to the rude client that he was in fact Martin and not Nicole, to which he received an immediate improvement in treatment. His technique did not change, the only thing that changed was that he now had a man’s name. This caused Martin and Nicole to conduct a social experiment, where they switched signatures on emails for two weeks. Martin described the two weeks as “hell” stating that it “fucking sucked”, whereas Nicole had the most “productive two weeks” of her ENTIRE CAREER. A prime example of workplace sexism. Martin shared this story on Twitter, to which he was appalled at how difficult it was being a woman in the workplace and dealing with clients, however Nicole stated that she was completely used to this unfair treatment.

I don’t know if perhaps the belief needs a new term due to the word ‘feminism’ having been dragged through the mud for far too long, but we need to start educating ourselves on what it means to be an equal and just society. We cannot live in a world where females are considered less than males. If you want to ignore the lack of equality, and continue to think that this is either a false issue coined by man-hating, dramatic feminists or that males SHOULD be treated better than females, then it’s just plain ignorant. To live in a world where we have levitating lightbulbs, shoes that tie themselves, Apple watches and robots that mow the lawns, it’s disturbing that we are still protesting for the equality of the two sexes. Women have carried us and nurtured us all, we name ships after women, yet we cannot respect them as much as men.

I need feminism because in Saudi Arabia, a nineteen year old woman was gang-raped by 200 men and then punished for not having a ‘male guardian’ with her at the time, she was sentenced to six months jail time and 300 beatings (this is one example of many). I need feminism because in many countries, women are treated as children and need permission from men to do anything, even leave the house or work. I need feminism because if females wish to abort, they should be able to choose what happens to their body. I need feminism because when men are raped, they were never asked what they were wearing. I need feminism because in countries such as China and India, female foetuses are being aborted purely because of their gender. I need feminism because women are too fucking often sexualised. I need feminism because our favourite actresses are getting paid a lot less than their male co-stars. I need feminism because if a girl enjoys having a lot of sex, she shouldn’t be shamed for it. I need feminism because far too many of us have been oppressed or belittled. I need feminism because if a man gives his opinion he is a man, and if a woman gives her opinion, she is a bitch. I need feminism because men are judged on performance, and women are judged on performance and appearance.

I don’t care if you are sick of the term ‘feminism’ or sick of hearing about the struggles women face, because the truth is these inequalities cannot be overcome until we all start to acknowledge the basic human rights that women in our society deserve. It’s time for women to work together instead of tearing each other down, and it’s time for men to stop being embarrassed to call themselves feminists. Gender inequality is not made up, it’s alive and real. 

I dream of a future where women can be viewed as intelligent and strong people; a future where our mothers, daughters, nieces, wives, granddaughters and sisters can live in a world of equal opportunity and respect. Feminism is not a dirty word. Feminism is an entirely needed value in order to achieve a better world. We cannot all succeed when half of us are held back.