#until she felt like 'yep that's enough angst for my baby' and decided to bring them back

[nonexistent-alfa]

The LCF readers experience of faux angst

The Soos.

Me, after binge reading 600 chapters: *sobbing uncontrollably because of the Soos*

Me, at the end of part 1, after learning the OG CJS and LSH are coming back: hol' up, what.

Me, 200 chapters into reading part 2: forget Cale, I want my tears back. The tears I shed for three hundred plus chapters... All for these two to rise from the dead in part 2? Like, huh???

[lillywillow]

The Forest Provides

Summary: You and Muriel have been trying for a baby for a long time. One day, Muriel finds a baby alone in the woods

 Word Count: 1880

 Pairings: Muriel of the Kokhuri x Female Reader

 Warnings: Minor spoilers from the main plot, very mild angst at the beginning

 Married life with Muriel had been absolute bliss but lately you had felt like something was missing. It wasn’t until you were visiting Asra in town and started noticing the families around that you realised what it was; a child of your own. When you brought up your desire to Muriel, he was surprisingly open to it. After months of trying, you were starting to get a little discouraged.

...

 One night, you were lying in bed with your husband, idly tracing patterns on his chest.

 “What’s on your mind?” Muriel mumbled, his soft voice pulling you from your thoughts.

 “I’ve just been thinking... we’ve been trying for months for a baby and I’m wondering... what if it’s me? What if when I came back... not everything works right? I’m getting scared that I can’t carry a baby... The next time Nazali is in town, I’m going to ask them if they can do a full check up on me.”

 “You don’t trust Julian to do it?” Muriel asked, a little surprised.

 “It’s not that I don’t trust him, he’s one of my dearest friends. It’s just that Nazali has had more experience. They might be able to provide some answers...” You started to tear up a little at the thought of not being able to have a baby of your own.

 Muriel held you tighter. Much like you, he had been having his own doubts about his ability to give you a child. What if it was his fault that he couldn’t give you the child you wanted? Muriel chose not to voice his concerns in order not to worry you further. For now, he would just hold you in his arms and comfort you until you fell asleep.

...

 The following morning, Muriel was walking with Inanna in the woods looking for a few more supplies. Suddenly, the wolf stopped, sensing something.

 “What is it, Inanna?”

 Inanna started sniffing the ground, following the scent in a hurry. Muriel followed, feeling worried about her safety. Finally, she stopped in front of a tree, sitting proudly, tongue lolling out to the side.

 “Inanna, what have you...?” Muriel stopped dead in his tracks.

 Nestled under the shade of a tree in a basket was a sleeping baby. The infant had a head of soft black curls and was wrapped in green blankets. Muriel gentle knelt down and picked up the precious bundle. Disturbed by the sudden movement, the baby woke and opened her eyes, revealing them to be fawn brown. Muriel froze, afraid the baby was about to cry but instead, the infant simply cooed at him. He noticed a name had been lovingly stitched into the baby’s blanket.

 Kalila.

 “Inanna, can you see if you can find the parents anywhere?”

 The wolf started sniffing the ground and followed the scent for as long as she could but ultimately lost it. Muriel couldn’t help but wonder who would leave a defenceless baby all alone in the woods but then he thought about his own parents and how they gave him up to save his life. Maybe Kalila’s parents were also left with no choice... Muriel decided to bring her home with him.

...

 When Muriel arrived home, you ran up to greet him but stopped when you saw the basket he had in his arms.

 “What is that?”

 “I found her in the woods. Inanna and I looked for her parents but couldn’t find them,” Muriel replied, finding a safe place to put down the basket.

 Asra, (whom had dropped by for a visit), poked his fluffy white head from around you.

 “A baby...”

 “I brought her in. I won’t allow her to end up like us,” he said, turning his head to Asra. Asra gently placed a hand on his friend’s arm with a gentle smile.

  You were in absolute awe of Kalila. Carefully, you took her out of her basket and held her close.

 “She’s perfect,” you smiled, tearing up a little.

 Muriel couldn’t help but smile. At least in some form, he had given you the baby you had so desperately wanted. Then another thought crept into his mind; would he be a good enough father for this child?

 “You should get Julian to give her a check-up,” Asra said, gently picking up Kalila for a cuddle.

 “Does he have to?” Muriel muttered, somewhat bitterly.

 “Asra has a point, Muriel. We want little... Kalila to be healthy, right?” you stated, checking the baby’s blanket for her name.

 Muriel grumbled under his breath. He knew you were both right but that didn’t make him like it.

 “Right, then. I’ll go set it up,” Asra smiled, handing you back Kalila. “See you in a while!”

 With that, Asra headed out the door. You couldn’t help but laugh at the sullen expression on your husband’s face.

 “Wh-what?”

 “You’re awfully cute when you’re sulking,” you smiled. His face turned crimson.

 “I’m not sulking,” he protested, but the pout in his lip told another story.

 “Yeah, you are...”

 You were suddenly interrupted by Kalila cooing.

 “I’m going to be the best mother in the world to you...” The baby seemed to understand you and snuggled up close.

 Muriel knew that was true but could he say the same of his parenting skills? Time could only tell and he hoped he would be a good father to Kalila.

...

 A while later, there was a knock on the door. You opened it to see Julian standing there with his doctor bag and Asra holding some kind of bundle. Smiling, you ushered the pair inside.

 “I hope you don’t mind, but I told Nadia about your situation and she said she was more than happy to help,” he smiled, showing you the contents of the bundle. Inside were all kinds of baby supplies, from clothes to bottles.

 “We’ll have to thank her the next time we see her,” you smiled. Muriel made an affirmative grunt.

 “So, where is the bundle of joy?” Julian asked, removing his menacing looking coat and gloves.

 You went over to where Kalila was cuddled up to Inanna in front of the fireplace.

 “I’m going to take her away for a bit, okay? I’ll bring her back soon,” you assured the wolf. Inanna gave Kalila’s head a lick and allowed her to be picked up. Kalila giggled and cooed happily.

 “Here she is,” you said, placing Kalila on the table so Julian could examine her.

 The doctor began his task but the baby began to fuss.

 “Stop! You’re hurting her!” Muriel snapped.

 Inanna jumped to her feet, snarling and ready to protect Kalila. Julian raised his hands in defence.

 “It’s okay... I’m not hurting her. I think my hands are a little cold. That’s all the problem is...” Julian carefully went over to warm up his hands by the fire, under the watchful gaze of Muriel and Inanna. You kept a hand on both of them to keep them from tearing the doctor apart.

 Once they were warm enough, Julian went to continue his examination. Fortunately, that was indeed the issue and Kalila allowed herself to be poked and prodded.

 “She’s perfectly healthy. Just come and see me for regular checkups and call me if anything happens,” Julian smiled, putting away his equipment after cleaning it.

 “Good. Now get out,” Muriel grumbled.

 “Muriel,” you chided.

 “It’s okay, Y/N. I’ve got to get back to the clinic anyway. You coming, Asra?”

 “Yep! Right behind you. I’ll see you two later.”

 Asra hugged the pair of you before leaving with Julian. You had wondered why he would be at the clinic with Julian but you decided that perhaps that question was best unasked.

 Inanna trotted back to her comfy spot by the fire and settled down again. Muriel picked up Kalila and placed her back next to her furry godmother. The baby giggled happily and snuggled into Inanna’s fluffy side. Muriel smiled warmly at the pair, happy Kalila took so easily to his faithful companion. He watched them for a while before helping you get the place set up for little Kalila.

...

 That night, Muriel had a dream.

 He was standing in front of a familiar hut, wondering what he was doing there. Muriel was about to knock when the door was opened by an older woman.

 “Muriel!” The woman enveloped him in a tight hug.

 “Khamgalai? What are you doing here?”

 “What kind of question is that? I live here,” she huffed, bringing him inside. The inside of the hut was just as warm and inviting as he remembered.

 Khamgalai bustled about, making Muriel sit down.

 “Why... why am I here now?”

 “The Hermit told me you seek guidance...”

 Muriel’s brows furrowed together. He knew what was troubling him but he didn’t want to be a burden.

 “You’re worried you won’t be a good enough father to your new found daughter...” It was more of a statement than a question.

 Muriel opened and closed his mouth a few times before simply nodding.

 “I’m here to tell you that you will be a wonderful father to Kalila... and to the child your wife is carrying.”

 Muriel’s eyes widened.

 “Y/N is not... I mean... she...”

 “Oh, my! Yes, it is still a little too early to tell yet,” Khamgalai chuckled to herself. “But assure you, Y/N is pregnant. Your prayers have finally been answered.”

 Muriel stared at the smaller woman in shock. How did she...?

 “I answered them. Dear boy, I know you have doubts but I promise you this, Kalila will grow to be a strong young woman under your guidance. You will teach her all she needs to know. Same with the new baby Y/N will bring into the world.”

  “But...”

 “No buts! No more self doubt! I will come back to smack some sense into you if I have to!”

 Muriel managed a small smile and got up to hug Khamgalai.

 “Thank you...”

 “You’ve got a long journey ahead of you. I will always be watching over you. Rest assured. Give my love to Y/N...”

...

 You woke in the middle of the night to Kalila softly wailing. Stirring, you went to get up to tend to her but Muriel beat you to it.

 “I’ve got her...”

 You watched as he carefully took Kalila out of her basket to give her a bottle. Muriel hummed to her as he prepared the warm milk for her. The baby stared up at him adoringly as she waited, the sound of Muriel’s rumbling voice gently soothing her. Your heart melted at the sight.

 When Kalila was fed, burped and put back to sleep, Muriel returned to you. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close and placed one hand on your tummy.

 “You’re going to make a wonderful father,” you sleepily purred, nuzzling him.

 Muriel thought about Khamgalai’s words. He suddenly found himself excited for this next chapter of his life, knowing he had all the love and support of his family and friends.

[freddie-weaselbee]

Reflection//F.W.

Pairings: Fred Weasley x Reader

Warnings: Implied eating disorder, implied body dysmorphia, body insecurities, insecurities in general, mentions of food/drink, language, angst, fluff, sad and insecure Freddie :(

Summary: Fred can’t even look at his reflection without feeling bad about himself and thinking about how you deserve so much more than anything he has to offer. 

Word Count: 4.5k

A/N: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. No matter who you are or what you look like, you are absolutely beautiful. If you or if you know anyone who suffers from body dysmorphia (specifically men because it’s not talked about enough), please reach out to someone and learn more. My messages are always open!

Arthur Weasley. Molly Weasley. Bill Weasley. Charlie Weasley. Percy Weasley. Fred and George Weasley. Ron Weasley. Ginny Weasley. The Weasley family. While all connected by their Gryffindor house and flaming red hair, each member of the family was unique in their own sense. 

Arthur and Molly were the parents. Arthur’s fascination with Muggles as a Pureblood and Molly’s blunt but loving motherly nature were what set them apart. 

Bill was the oldest, the golden child. He was loved at Hogwarts and became a successful curse breaker. No one ever had problems with the wonder that was Bill Weasley. 

Charlie forged his own path. The great Hogwarts Quidditch star who likely could have gone professional, had he not found his passion in dragons and made a new life for himself in Romania.  

Percy. Perfect prefect Percy, the one who would grow up to be the Minister of Magic, at least that's what everyone thought. He had every aspect of his life perfectly planned out down to the last detail, and oh how Molly loved her rule-abiding son, never a troublemaker. 

Ron had a more difficult time making a name for himself. The youngest brother in the family and yet not quite the baby. However, his friendship with Harry Potter and their knack for getting themselves into trouble every year made Ronald Weasley a known name around Hogwarts. 

Ginny was the only girl, which made her unique already.  Not only that, but she was fantastic at Quidditch, had the heart of a true Gryffindor Lion, and was overall a kind, vivacious, adventurous soul. 

Each Weasley had one thing that set them apart. Everyone, that is, except the duo that could never be separated. 

Fred and George Weasley. Not Fred Weasley and George Weasley. Fred and George. As if they were one person, joined at the hip with the same ideas, the same personalities, and the same feelings. No matter how hard they tried when they were younger, everyone always came back to calling them Fred and George. Even their own mother often got them mixed up, and showed no care in doing so. As long as it was one of the twins she was alright

. 

Once their years at Hogwarts started, the two boys decided to stop fighting the inevitable, and thus began their reign as “Fred and George Weasley, Prank Master Extraordinaires.” They were always together. They were both Quidditch beaters. They pulled some of the finest pranks Hogwarts had ever seen together. They sat next to each other in all of their classes and would sometimes switch seats or call each other the wrong name to see if anyone else would notice. They never did. 

“Freddie, you coming?” you asked your boyfriend, jumping up onto his back. It was Hogsmeade weekend, which meant the tradition of you and your friends raiding Honeydukes, Zonkos, and finishing out at The Three Broomsticks was minutes away from happening once again. Fred laughed and spun around, quickly getting dizzy and pulling you both down into the Gryffindor couch. 

You rolled on top of him and pulled his chin in for a quick kiss, limbs awkwardly tangled in each other as you shared a sweet moment with the ginger you’d been dating for the last 3 months. 

“Ugh my eyes!” George stood behind the couch, hands covering his face in order to shield his view from the innocent scene in front of him. 

“Oh shut up George,” you said. “You’re just jealous.”

Fred smirked at his slightly younger brother and pulled you down into a deeper kiss. “Yeah, jealous,” he mumbled against your lips, which resulted in George physically separating your faces with his hands. 

“You two disgust me,” he scoffed. “Are you guys ready?”

Fred struggled against his brother’s hand for a second trying to recapture your lips once again, but he eventually gave up once you caved and pulled away. 

“I’m all set, has everyone else already left?” The rest of your small friend group consisted of Lee Jordan, Angelina Johnson, and Alicia Spinnet, who you had been close with since your first year. The three boys would run off and pull horrendous pranks while you, Angelina, and Alicia would roll your eyes, secretly coming up with new ideas for jokes to pull on Filch. 

George jumped over the couch and hoisted you up by your arms, his strength making you fly through the air for a few seconds before you landed shakily on the warm rugs decorating the floor. 

“Yep,” replied your friend. “They said they’d meet us in the Courtyard and we can go from there. If I remember correctly it’s your turn to buy butterbeers.” 

You groaned and threw your hands to your pocket, making sure you had the money. “I thought you would’ve forgotten about that.”

George wrapped his arm around your shoulder and gave you a brotherly squeeze. “Never, love. Let’s get going.”

Giggling, you walked in step with your best friend and wrapped an arm around his waist. You turned your head and put out your other arm, gesturing for Fred to come join you. 

“C’mon, Fred, what’re you waiting for?”

Fred wasn’t waiting for anything. In fact, the longer he saw you interact with George, the less he wanted to spend the day watching it continue to happen. He didn’t look at you and instead just fiddled with his sweater, the one you had stolen from him so many times until he finally took it back to appreciate how it now smelled like you. 

“I’m not feeling too well today, you guys can just go.”

You pouted and fully turned to face your boyfriend. “You were fine just a second ago, do you want me to stay with you?”

He could tell you were about to walk back over and crawl into his lap, but he really needed to be alone. “I’m ok love, just not feeling it today. Bring me back something from Honeydukes though, will ya?”

You gave him a small smile and nodded, wondering if there was anything else you could do to help. 

“Don’t worry Y/N,” said George, “I can take care of you. We’ll have a blast!”

“I can take care of myself, Georgie,” you said. Fred winced at the nickname. “But I thank you kindly for the offer.” You bowed sarcastically and began to howl with laughter as George tickled your sides and threw you over his shoulder. “See you later Fred, don’t have too much fun without me!”

He looked up at the last second, only catching a glimpse of your face contorted with giggles as his twin carried you through the halls of the castle. 

Fred sighed and got up from the couch, sulking as he made his way to his now empty dorm room. He lied down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, imagination and worries running wild. What were you and George doing right now? Was he still holding onto you, laughing as he clutched your perfect body in his arms? Fred’s jaw clenched, thinking about his brother holding you, kissing you like he did. Because what was the difference between him and his brother? Why would you care if it was George that was touching you instead of Fred. They were the same. To everyone in the world, they were just the mirror images of each other. Just a stupid, unoriginal reflection. 

He felt a few hot tears well up, so he turned onto his side and curled up, letting sleep take over and wash his troubles away. 

------------------------------

“Alright George, put me down, you’ve had your fun.” The Weasley boy pretended to drop you, only making you clutch his shoulder harder. 

“Oh I see,” George said smirking, “now you don’t want me to put you down, huh?”

“Sod off, loser.” You wiggled out of his loosening grasp and elbowed his side. George had decided to carry you not only out of Hogwarts, but also almost the entire way to Hogsmeade itself. An act quite impressive, but the beater was known for his renowned upper body strength. 

Angelina came up and grabbed your arm, slowing you down so you would fall away from the rest of the group. “Not trying to steal my love, are you Y/N?” she asked, trying to glare at you but breaking quickly and smiling in the end. 

“I don’t know Angie,” you teased, “if you don’t make a move soon maybe I’ll have to take both twins. Paris does sound very nice this time of year.”

She rolled her eyes and gave you a soft shove. “The annoying part is that you could probably pull both of them too. I see the way George looks at you.”

Your best friend, usually so confident and collected, was now very shy and insecure about her love for the younger of the Weasley twins. You and George had no feelings for each other. Both of you knew that and she of course knew that. But sometimes dumb thoughts plagued people’s minds. 

“Angie, wanna know a secret?” you asked. 

She looked up and nodded slowly. 

“The reason George and I’ve been hanging out recently is because he keeps asking me about you. ‘What’s Angie’s favorite food?’ ‘What does she like to do when she’s not kicking ass on the Quidditch pitch?’ blah blah blah.” 

Angelina laughed at your horrible impersonation of George’s voice. “You know he’s like a brother to me. I mean, if things between me and Fred keep going how they are then maybe one day he’ll be my actual brother.”

She nodded gratefully and sighed a breath of relief. “I know, I know. It’s just a little weird for me that you two are so close. I feel like I’m third wheeling whenever you guys are there, and you aren’t even the ones dating!”

“That’s just how George is. He’s so sweet, so he’s always there to cheer me up. But you have to trust me, there is not and will not ever be something between me and him. No offence to George, but that’s gross.”

“You’re dating his twin brother! How is that gross?”

“You of all people know that they’re not the same. I prefer my men cocky, arrogant, and pretty,” you quipped, calling Fred out. 

“And I prefer mine sweet, compassionate, and handsome, but it looks like George has got a long way to go before he can earn that title.”

Angelina was referring to the scene in front of you, where the man in question was currently shoving Lee’s face into the snow-covered ground. 

“Maybe we both need better taste in men,” you said, running with Angelina to tackle George and save your dear friend. 

------------------------------

It was 2 weeks later, and Fred was once again missing out on a trip to Hogsmeade. Gryffindor had just played Slytherin in the game of the year, a close match that had the entire school screaming and on the edge of their seats. 

“And there Malfoy and Potter go, racing into the sky with their eyes on the snitch,” Lee Jordan shouted into the microphone. “The current score is Gryffindor with 130 points and Slytherin with 110. It all comes down to who can catch this flying bugger.”

A loud crack resounded across the pitch as George sent a bludger straight toward Malfoy, hitting his broom and almost knocking him off. 

“Amazing hit by Number 6, beater George Weasley. This could be the end of the game folks, this could be it. Oh! Malfoy’s back on his broom and racing to catch up to Potter. Weasley gave the young Gryffindor seeker a great head start, and it looks like he might have it!”

“Fred!” Angelina cried. Fred looked to where she was gesturing and saw the bludger coming straight toward him. This was his shot. He had a clear path to hit Malfoy, securing the win for Gryffindor. 

You were in the crowd, screaming at the top of your lungs. He didn’t want to disappoint you, or the team, or his house. He didn’t want to disappoint people anymore. 

“Number 5 Fred Weasley winds up to hit a bludger, he’s got a clean shot toward Malfoy! If he can get this hit it’s game over and victory for Gryffindor!”

With all of his strength he sent the bludger flying, but apparently his aim hadn’t improved with the extra practice he had been doing. 

Lee continued to comment on the disaster that was about to happen. “One strong hit to the bludger, but it looks like it’s going in the wrong direction. Oh no! Instead of hitting Malfoy the bludger just hit Potter, sending him and his broom spiraling out of control! Malfoy has taken this opportunity to catch up to the snitch and...and...he’s got it. Malfoy catches the snitch, making the final score 260 for Slytherin to 130 for Gryffindor. A well played match by everyone.”

Except it wasn’t a well played match for Fred. He had let everyone down, again. He was used to it from his parents and older siblings, even most of his teachers. But he had never let down his house before. He had never let down his team. 

Fred locked himself away in his room, refusing to talk to anyone. He pulled off his Quidditch robes and shirt and stared at his reflection in the wall length mirror hanging in his dorm room. 

He stared at his body, something many girls would comment on and swoon over. He was Fred Weasley, star Quidditch player and resident hottie at Hogwarts. Except he wasn’t anymore. 

The definition of his abs weren’t strong enough. He was gaining too much fat, eating too much food. He wasn’t working out enough, that was it. If he would've worked out more then he would’ve made the shot during the game. 

Fred wasn’t as ripped as George, he knew that for a fact. Living in the same room for their entire lives, Fred knew how strong his brother was, how defined his biceps were and how he could lift you with absolutely no problem. Fred knew that George was the better beater. It was just statistics. He made the most hits, had the best aim, and won the team the most points.  

The only thing Fred was better at was making jokes, but he knew no one liked them. His friends must’ve laughed out of pity. There was no way anyone could not find him annoying, especially with how cocky and overconfident he came across. They just tolerated him because of George. You just loved him because you saw him as another George. You should be with George. 

Fred stared into the reflection of himself in the mirror, the one that looked equal parts like him and his twin brother. He groaned as he bent down to the floor, quickly starting another repetition of countless pushups until he would pass out from exhaustion.

------------------------------

Fred had stuck to his cycle. Wake up, eat (but not much), go on a run across the castle grounds, go to class, work out for 2 hours, eat dinner (but once again, not much), work out again and then pass out from working so hard. Any time he had outside of class was spent on the Quidditch pitch or locked away in his dorm, overworking his body and secretly comparing it to his brother’s. No matter what he did, he never caught up. He was still the more annoying, weaker, less attractive reflection of his twin. 

“There’s something wrong with him,” George said to you, walking to the courtyard for one of your breaks. “He’s been so off lately and I can’t figure out why.”

“You’re telling me!” You had noticed Fred’s changes in behavior and tried to talk to him about it. He had become quieter and less outgoing, usually choosing to be alone and do God knows what while you went off with your friends. In fact, the two of you hadn’t had an evening to yourselves in over a month. Not ever seeing your boyfriend was beginning to take a toll on you too. 

“I’ve tried talking to him and asking if anything’s wrong, but he always blows me off,” you complained. “He just seems so sad and miserable, and the worst part is, I have no idea why!”

George just shook his head. “Me neither. He’s my bloody twin brother and we never even talk anymore. He’s always on his broom or locked himself in our room. Doesn’t ever let me in, so I don’t know what’s going on back there.”

Thoughts began to race through your head. “Do you,” you gulped. “Do you think he’s hiding something from us? Or...or someone?”

“Oh Godric no,” George said suddenly, wrapping you up in a hug. “Fred would never cheat on you darling, he loves you too much for that. He would go on and on about how bloody beautiful you are and how you’re the perfect person for him and it took everything I had not to strangle the git sometimes cuz he would never let me sleep.”

You squeezed him back tighter. “When...when did he say these things?”

George paused for a few seconds. “A little over a month ago. I...I haven’t really heard him talk much recently…”

You broke down sobbing in your friend’s arms, lowering yourself onto a bench and turning to cry into his chest. 

“Shh, shh darling, it’s not your fault. I’m sure this is a misunderstanding. Freddie loves you so much, he would never hurt you, ever.” He grabbed your chin so you were looking up at him. “Do you understand me?”

You nodded, eyes red and puffy before going back to his chest to cry. You spoke to him through broken sobs. “I...I’m gonna talk to him tonight. I need to f-find out what’s...wrong.”

George stroked your hair soothingly and rubbed your back. “Sounds like a plan, love. You’ve got this.”

You thanked him and continued to cry until you felt all of your sadness release. George helped you up and walked you to the bathroom to get your face cleaned up for the next class. Little did you or George know that Fred, from afar, had just witnessed the entire scene. 

------------------------------

In his usual place as of late, Fred was curled up on his bed, unable to move from the intensity he had just put his body through. He tried to shift to get into a more comfortable position but it only made him groan and his stomach growl. 

His arms, which were supposed to be getting stronger, were weak from malnutrition. He wasn’t even strong enough to sit up and do his Potions homework, which only made him feel worse about himself. 

All his life it had been Fred and George. It didn’t matter that his name was first, because there was always George to follow. They were the same person, and yet he still felt inferior to his brother. No matter what he did, how hard he worked, George was always going to be better. He was the stronger twin, the kinder one, the more compassionate one who knows when a prank has gone too far. He was everything that you deserve, and everything Fred wished he could be. 

Fred was startled by a knock on the door. “Freddie,” your muffled voice called through. He stayed quiet, hoping you would leave and look for him somewhere else, or better yet give up on him altogether. He couldn’t stand to look at you at the moment. 

“Freddie I’m coming in.” Before he could do anything you had cast alohomora and were standing next to his bed. 

Fred turned his head away from you, trying not to let you see how red his face was from crying. He pulled the covers up over his face, blatantly ignoring you. 

“We need to talk.” You sat down next to him and ripped the blanket off, revealing a mostly naked Fred aside from his pair of boxers. You grabbed his shoulders to roll him over to face you, but you jumped back as he let out a pained groan. 

“Get out, Y/N. I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “You haven’t wanted to talk for the past month and I’m tired of it. I know there’s something wrong, and it’s killing me to see you like this. Please, Fred, you need to tell me what’s happening.”

The boy rolled his eyes and slowly moved to face you. “Why?” he asked. “So you can run off to George and have him comfort you? Why don’t you just save us both the trouble and go be with him.”

You were shocked by his words. Fred had never been the jealous type. Whenever you would talk casually with your exes or other boys would flirt with you, Fred was understanding and calm, always saying that you were his and he knew he didn’t have to worry about anything. But now for some reason he was seething with jealousy, and over his brother no less. It didn’t make any sense. 

“What in the world are you talking about?” you asked indignantly. “You know that George is just my friend, my best friend. He’s in love with Angelina and I’m in love with you.”

Fred scoffed. “Yeah, alright then. What did you and Angelina do, draw straws and decide who gets who? It’s not like it would matter, as long as you got one of the twins.”

You sat down on the bed, fuming with anger. “Where is this coming from? You know I love you. I don’t love George, at least not more than a friend or a brother. I don’t love anyone else and I don’t want to be with anyone else, just you.”

Your hand traveled to his shoulder but he jerked up so that he was inches away from you. “Don’t lie to me. You’re just like everyone else. You got one of the twins, and then you realized that you got the worse one, so off you are to go seduce George, because he’s just my reflection but better. I know exactly how you think you worthless bitch!”

Both of you went silent. Fred had never spoken those things to you before. Never once had he raised his voice in anger, and he had never even thought about calling you a bitch or anything of the sort. 

You brought your hand back to slap him, but you hesitated when he just gave up and sighed, awaiting the hit and not even trying to do anything about it. He was weak and exhausted and had completely given up on everything. 

Lowering your hand, you moved it to caress his cheek. He leaned into the touch, letting small tears fall from his eyes and drop onto your fingers. You pulled him into your shoulder slowly, where he sniffled and cuddled up next to you. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean that. You’re perfect.”

After a few seconds you finally spoke up. “I love you so much. You cheer me up when I’ve had a bad day with your jokes.” Fred hummed into your shoulder. “You’re always helping me relax when things get too stressful, and you take me on the best adventures I could ever imagine.” He turned his head to meet your eyes. “You and George, while you might look the same, are completely different. I could never love him the way I love you, because he’s not you. He’s sweet, compassionate Georgie, and you’re fierce, loyal, loving, optimistic, beautiful Freddie.”

Fred nuzzled into your shoulder and pulled you down so you were both laying down on his bed. He mumbled something that you couldn’t make out. 

“What was that love?”

“Do you really think I’m beautiful?” He spoke so shyly, pieces of his insecurities finally becoming apparent. 

You held his face in your hands and stared into his mesmerizing brown eyes. “I think you’re beautiful, gorgeous, handsome, pretty, and absolutely perfect the way you are.” You ran your hands down his toned abs, starting to understand what he had been doing those many hours each day. “No matter how much muscle you have or how big or small you are, I’ll always love you. You look perfect to me.”

To show Fred exactly how you felt you kissed him all over his body, starting at his neck and moving to his chest all the way down to his thighs and calves. “Just because you’re a guy doesn’t mean you have to be super buff and toned. All bodies are beautiful, and that goes for men too. And you are the most beautiful of them all.”

Fred squeezed you tight, mentally hitting himself for not talking to you earlier. You loved him and he knew that. You didn’t love George and you didn’t love him because he was one of the Weasley twins. You loved him because he was simply Fred. Fred Weasley. 

You shifted out of his hold and started to leave the room. “Where are you going love, please stay,” he asked, giving you his biggest puppy dog eyes. 

“I’m gonna sneak into the kitchens and get you some food. You need to eat, Freddie. I’ve seen you skip meals and it’s not healthy.” He nodded reluctantly, still self conscious about the weight he thought he gained. 

“Speaking of not being healthy, I think you should slow down with the workouts. There’s nothing wrong with getting a better body, but you’re destroying yourself in the process. Can you take a break for a few days and rest up before reevaluating your workouts?”

It took Fred a second to think over. He still wanted a body like his brother’s, but you were right. He wouldn’t get it from not eating and constantly hurting himself. “Yeah, alright.”

“I think there’s leftover ham and potatoes from dinner, does that sound good?” Fred agreed, cozying himself back up under the covers. 

“Perfect,” you said. “I’ll get food and we can eat and catch up, and maybe read that book I was telling you about? You said you wanted to read it with me.”

“Sounds perfect, love. Thank you so much.”

You nodded and walked out the door, closing it softly. Fred looked around the room he had spent so much time in recently until his eyes landed on the mirror hanging on his wall. With what was left of his strength he got up and stood in front of it. 

It wasn’t going to be easy. He had so many deep seated insecurities that he would need to work out, and it would take time. But for the first time in a while, Fred could finally look at his reflection and smile. 

[aperrywilliams]

Something to Say (Spencer Reid)

(Not my gif!)

Masterlist

———————

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Main characters: Spencer Reid, Fem!Reader, Diana Reid.

Summary: Spencer and Reader has to deal with bad news and they support each other in the process.

Word Count: 7476.

Warnings: Contains mentions to illnesses, death and grief. Angst the most part, but some of relieve in the end.

A/N: Hello again lovely people. I wanted to write this fic a time ago, wasn't easy, but hope you appreciate it. Again, all the love to my beta @imagining-in-the-margins​ . Please, impressions, comments and any reaction for this one are welcomed. Thanks for reading. Thanks to @emilouu​ for suggesting the nickname for Reid’s daughter.

——————–

That Thursday I was finishing my shower when (Y/N) came into the bathroom. The water was running but I could hear when she opened the door and said my name, trying to get my attention. I closed the faucet and peeked out the curtain.

“The Day Care Center called. There are problems with the water supply and they aren’t going to receive children today. We have to decide what we are going to do. We could take her to my parents' house, but it's still early.” (Y/N) told me with concern.

"Oh. This is… unexpected.” I replied, grabbing a towel and coming out of the receptacle to dry myself. "Wait, isn't today the presentation you have with Prentiss about the BAU on the FBI’s Board?"

“Yes, it’s today at 9:00, exactly. But perhaps Prentiss could go with JJ…” said (Y/N) pondering the options.

"No way. You've prepared yourself a whole week for that. Don't worry, I'll stay with Emi. If a case comes up, I don't think it'll be a problem. I can assist from here.”

"Spencer, are you sure? I don’t want…"

"Of course. Don't worry, I'm staying with Emi today. I’ll come up with some activities to keep her busy.” I said with a smile.

"You’re an angel and I love you, you know that, right?"

"Yep. I know. I love you too". (Y/N) came up and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"I'm going to make breakfast while you get dressed and I’m going to wake up our Sleeping Beauty."

Our little Emily Diana was already 3 years old. It felt like it was only yesterday when I took her in my arms for the first time. Now she was a smart and... very active little girl. In my opinion, a good combination between (Y/N) and me. And while my staying with her that day was unplanned, in my head I managed to organize a short list of things we could do together. 

I dressed her after breakfast and a bath, and later we concentrated on solving some animal puzzles that JJ had given Emi for her birthday. Then we took a coloring book and reviewed some letters and numbers. Of course, my daughter already knew all of them and named them without any problems. We had a mid-morning snack and then played, running around the apartment. It was certainly her favorite activity with me - in addition to the stories I read to her before bed. I'm sure I got ridiculous enough running and running away from a 3- year-old girl, but I didn't care.

The next activity was the 'tickle war'. I was lying on the couch and she was struggling against my tickling attack when my cell phone rang. I looked at the clock on the wall and it was close to 12:30. I was sure that it was (Y/N) to remind me Emi should have lunch at 1:00 p.m, so when I picked up the phone, I didn't even notice the caller ID.

"Reid ..." I replied, laughing even in my role as the 'ticklish monster'.

"Dr. Reid. Good afternoon. Addy Moller speaking." I immediately recognized the voice and the name. She was my mom's caretaker in Brookfield.

"Addy, good afternoon. Tell me how I can help you… did something happen with my mom?” My laugh passed and turned into concern.

"I'm sorry but I must say yes. Diana suffered a physical decompensation earlier today and we transferred her to the hospital. She is being monitored and tested, but at the moment everything is quite uncertain. That's why I’m calling you; I think it would be good if you could come…”. I could hear a certain caution in her voice.

"Which hospital?" I was quick to ask.

It was becoming common that my mom suffered decompensations in her physical health, but this was the first time that led her to the hospital and made them call me with that kind of urgency. I felt something in my stomach made me uncomfortable. I had the phone in my hand and was sitting on the edge of the couch. Emi stood on the sofa and clutched at my neck as if she suspected something was wrong.

"Daddy?" she asked as she tried to climb onto my back.

"I’m sorry pumpkin. Daddy was distracted by the phone. We’ll need to stop playing for now. Daddy will make you lunch while he calls mommy, okay?” She nodded. While I handed her one of his books so she could continue coloring, I dialed (Y/N), who quickly answered.

"Baby, hello! So good you called me. I was just going to call you back to remind you Emi’s lunch…” She stopped talking when she heard a sigh on the other side of the line. "Spencer...? Is something wrong?"

"My mom... is in the hospital. They just called me… and they need me to go there… now.” My voice should hardly have been heard on the other side of the phone.

"Oh, baby. Calm down. I'm coming right now”.

***

After a short brief to the team, I ran out to the parking lot. I got in the car and drove as fast as possible without being reckless. Upon arriving at the apartment, Spencer was finishing feeding Emi. Dropping my purse and jacket to the floor, I immediately went to hug him. I could see his eyes were filled with worry and stress. His body tense and his brain somewhere else. He hugged me back, holding me tight.

"I'm here. Tell me, do you want us to go with you? If you don't want Emi to go, we can leave her with my parents. I called them on the way here and they said she can stay with them.” A stifled sob on my shoulder came first before he could speak again.

"I don’t know..."

I knew that his brain was fighting beyond logic. We finally decided Emily would stay with my parents.

The trip started quietly. I could see Spencer staring out the window, phone in hand, as if he was expecting it to ring at any moment. Occasionally I took his hand, and he squeezed it hard before releasing it. Reid, being cautious as always, didn’t want to distract my driving, but his silence was killing me, knowing his brain was working at 1000%.

"Spencer, talk to me. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours. Please, don't leave me out now.” I felt like he was having a hard time swallowing. After another silent moment, he began to speak.

“It's just I always thought I was ready for this moment. But I realized I’m not”. His voice was still, but I could feel the fear in him.

"Baby, you are anticipating an outcome that we don't know will even happen." I said, trying to get him off the ledge in his head.

"Rationally I know there are possibilities. But something beyond the rational tells me exactly what is going to happen, (Y/N), and I'm not ready to let her go.” I could feel how he was trying to hold back the tears.

"I know. But if there is any hope, I think it's only fair that we can hold on to it. Can you do that?”

He nodded and returned his gaze to the window.

***

We got to the hospital and I immediately asked for my mom at the reception desk. I was referred to the 4th floor of Intensive Care, where they told me the treating doctor would explain the details. I took (Y/N)'s hand and went to the elevator. At Intensive Care they told us to wait a few minutes for the doctor to come out to see a patient. There I saw Addy in the waiting room. When she saw me, she came closer.

"Dr. Reid. It’s good you were able to come so fast”. That was her perception. Mine, on the contrary, was that I could never get there fast enough.

"How is she? What are the doctors saying?” I hastened to ask.

"Diana has been dealing with kidney problems for a long time, as you know..." She said trying to contextualize the situation.

"That's correct, I know. That’s the reason we agreed to limit medication last time."

"Indeed. But prolonged exposure throughout her life brings consequences sooner or later. Until now they were manageable, but her body is not working properly anymore. That’s why the doctors want to evaluate possible alternative treatments. But that could also alter her mental state more.”

I was silent. My mother was fighting a battle between her body and her mind now, and nothing I could do or say could help her. "We should wait for the doctor then..." I said, trying to buy time to think and assimilate what I was hearing. Addy nodded. I sat next to (Y/N) to wait. She took my hand, squeezing it every now and then to let me know she was there with me.

My mind took me to the last time that I was in a hospital waiting for news. It was when (Y/N) gave birth to Emily. Although her pregnancy had been relatively uneventful, she had to undergo an emergency c-section. I was nervous, thinking about all the odds associated with the possible outcomes. I thought that my life was about to change dramatically, and I was scared. Although JJ and Prentiss were with me, trying to calm me down, I just couldn't. I remembered my phone ringing at the time. When I saw Addy's name on the identifier, I panicked, thinking something had happened to my mom. Fear that cleared when I heard her voice.

"Mom…?”

"Spencer, honey, I know you're nervous. Your voice gives you away. I also know that my granddaughter is about to be born and you’re surely thinking of all those things that could go wrong. Just stop doing that."

"How do you know (Y/N) is giving birth ...?"

"I just know. I can feel your fear from here... and all the things that are going through your head right now."

"Mom, I don't know how to react. I'm scared, I don't know if I can do it…”

"Honey, I know that. But you need you to focus on the life that is about to see the light. Just let it happen. Don’t overthink it. Feel it and live it.”

"I don't know how to turn off my brain..."

"You can't. But you can make your heart speak louder. Honey, your wife and daughter need you, and you need them. That is all that matters.”

"Dr. Reid?”

A voice saying my name and (Y/N)’s hand squeezing me tight pulled me out of my memory. When I raised my head, I saw the doctor in front of me.

"Doctor... how is my mom?" I asked.

“We have done several tests on Diana and some results are already available. We did a few more tests to be sure. I'm so sorry to have to give you this news Dr. Reid, but Diana is not physically well. She is not reacting to the medication and internal damage will start causing her more problems within the next few hours. We can keep her sedated for as long as necessary, but her condition is unlikely to improve. It is only a matter of hours that her body stops reacting. I'm truly sorry…”

Basically, she was telling me that my mom was dying and I couldn't do anything about it. I felt dizzy. I had a hard time swallowing. I started breathing heavily. I could feel (Y/N) hugging me around my torso and resting her head on my back. It was really happening. Addy, seeing my dismay and my inability to react, began to speak to the doctor.

"Is she conscious? Can we see her?" Addy asked.

“She is sedated for now, but she’ll wake up in a little while. If you want you can be with her in the room.” Replied the doctor.

"Dr. Reid. You should be there…” Addy told me, trying to get me out of my trance.

"Baby. Addy is right. You have to go see her.” Said (Y/N). I couldn't manage to do or say anything; I just nodded, looking for the most coherent words to say.

"Thanks doctor. I'll go. Can I … can I have a moment before?” The doctor and Addy nodded and walked away. I sat on one of the benches with my head buried between my legs and my arms covering my head. (Y/N) hugged me and squeezed tight.

***

It broke my heart to see him shattered like that. I also felt guilty for giving him hope during the trip to the hospital. In 60 minutes everything had turned 180 degrees, and I watched Spencer sink deeper and deeper into anguish and sadness. I would have given anything to not see him like that. I knew there were no words of comfort to ease the powerlessness and pain of that moment, but I needed to let him know that he was not alone; that whatever happened, I was with him, and we could share this burden together.

“Spence. My love, I'm so sorry. I know I have no right to ask you for anything right now, but your mom needs you now. I’ll be with you at all times, for whatever. You know you can count on me…"

"I'm not ready..." He managed to say between sobs.

“Baby, I don’t think we’ll ever be ready for this. But look at me." I tried to pull away the arms that covered his head. "I’m with you. Please, you don't have to carry this alone. Let me be your support, please.” That was how I felt him wrap his arms around my neck and sink his face into my shoulder, crying heartily.

After a few minutes I felt his breathing begin to slowly calm down and the sobs changed to sighs. He raised his head and stared at me with a nod. "Let's go see her". He took my hand and we walked down the hall looking for her room. The reception nurse told us it was 418. We stopped in front of the glass door. From there, Diana could be seen with her eyes closed, connected to machines that monitored her vital signs, as well as her intravenous line in one of her arms.

"Do you want to be alone with her? I can stay here until you tell me." He nodded and kissed me on the forehead, entering the room. I took my phone out of my pocket. Although I still had a lump in my throat, I had to notify the team. They had to know what was going to happen.

***

I approached slowly and saw how her breathing synchronized with the sound of the machines that she was connected to. She was still sedated. I took one of the chairs in the corner of the room and pulled it over to the side of the bed. I sat up and took one of her hands, squeezing it gently. She looked so peaceful. If it weren't for the noise from the machines, I could even imagine that it was a normal day in the sanatorium, and that I was just watching her nap. I didn't know if she could hear me, but I started talking to her, anyway.

"Hi Mom. It's me, Spencer. I came as fast as I could. (Y/N) is here too. She didn't let me drive this far. You know how she is; she worries a lot when she sees me nervous. Yes, I’m nervous. I'm... I'm sad. You know I don't like to see you like this…” Clearly, I received no response. "I’ll be here until you wake up. Don’t worry. Just... rest. We can talk when you wake up... "

A frustrated sigh left my body. Everything seemed so futile to me at the time. Surreal. I looked towards the door and saw (Y/N) on the phone, scratching her forehead and then rubbing her neck. Signs of concern. I couldn't have wished for a better partner in this life; despite all the things we’d faced in our relationship, both before and after we were married, not a day went by that I wasn’t grateful to have her by my side. I remembered when I told my mom. Sure, I had already told her about (Y/N) in my letters, but it wasn't until that moment that I realized what I felt for her was true love.

"You really love her, don’t you? In your letters you always talk about her like a teenager in love.”

"I don’t know. To love I think is... a big thing. But yes, I think so. I love her. It's been like this for a while now…”

"And why didn't you tell her yet?"

"I don’t know. What if she doesn't feel the same way?”

“Honey, of course she won't feel the same. We are talking about another human being. But doesn't mean she can't love you. I think we have talked about this several times. I know you fear rejection and your father is responsible for that. We have not made your life easy, Spencer, but that doesn't mean you should run away from the possibility of being happy.”

"Should I tell her?"

"Certainly, yes. Tell her. Be honest with what you feel and what you want. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it. Honey, life is long and hard. And you deserve to have someone you can share that with. All of it. The good and bad."

It was after that talk that I confessed my love to (Y/N). To my surprise, she laughed, saying that she felt the same way about me for a long time. Thus, we began our relationship. Apparently, I just needed a little "push." The memory made me smile. My mom always had wise words for me. In her way of seeing life, she has helped me build mine; with the good and the bad.

When I got married to (Y/N), we managed to get my mom to be at the ceremony. I couldn't even conceive of the fact she couldn't be there. Although it did mean postponing the date a few times. Logistically it wasn’t a big deal either, we never wanted to have a great ceremony or many guests. Her family and mine, which included my mom and the entire BAU, of course. When the ceremony was over, she approached me to speak to me. Surely my smile and happiness reached to heaven.

“I’m so happy to see you like this. I think it's been years since I've seen you smile like that. Not even when you were little kid. I want you to know that I’m proud of you, of what you have achieved and of the man you have become. Today you have a new mission in your life: to make that woman as happy as she makes you feel now."

"Thanks Mom. Thanks for being with me right now. I really needed you here."

"I know darling. I'm just sorry the fact because of me you had to postpone the date so many times."

"Don´t. Don’t say that. (Y/N) also agreed that and there was no problem with that.”

"Just make her happy, Spencer. Because I already know she makes you happy. Just don't take anything for granted. Build your love day by day. Don't let the routine end up killing the love you feel for each other.”

And of course there was a lot of sense in her words. Four years had passed since our wedding, and it has not been easy. Having a relationship with our jobs was not a piece of cake. Nurturing our relationship was also part of the day to day. We had our ups and downs, but every time some obstacle came between us, I remembered those words and repeated to myself what really matters.

Deep in that memory, I didn't see when (Y/N) entered the room. I only realized her arms go around my neck as she kissed me on the head.

"Do you want me to bring you something? A coffee?" She whispered to me. I shook my head and clung to her arms.

"Stay with me for a moment, please."

She gave me another kiss on the head as a way of agreeing to my request. "Of course, as long as you need to."

We were silent for a while. She knew tears were running down my cheeks, but she didn't want to stop them, so she just hugged me tight. I'm sure tears ran down her cheeks, too. For me, for her, for both of us. We were in this together. I couldn't help but break the silence by verbalizing my thoughts.

"What if she doesn't recognize me? If I don't have the chance to say goodbye to her?" I felt my own voice break.

"Don’t think that. You are her son. Although her mind may not recognize you, surely her heart does. She has told you many times.” Said (Y/N) trying to comfort me.

It was true. On her good days and her bad days, I'd never stopped thinking about it. The last time she was lucid, a few months ago, she repeated it to me again.

"I just want to thank you for being my son. For being with me even if I'm not with you most of the time. Although my mind can't even remember your name or your face, know that in my heart, I’ll always love you as I have never loved anyone else in this world.”

"You don't have to thank me... I'm the one who is grateful to be your son."

“I know. It's just that I wish I could tell her so many things now." Although at that minute, I didn't know exactly what, but I did know that I needed to tell her things.

"Will you be able to do it? Of course you can do it.” replied (Y/N), trying to encourage me as she sat on my lap and stroked my hair, still hugging me.

We were like that for a long time; silent. This time I had neither the strength nor the interest in looking at the clock, but at one point I saw my mom's face contort, a sign the sedation was wearing off.

When I saw her open her eyes, I was afraid. On the one hand, I was relieved to see her awake again, but I was afraid that she wouldn't recognize me, and it would be the same as if she were sleeping... or worse.

"Spencer?" Hearing her voice, even if it was almost in a whisper, was a relief. (Y/N) and I immediately got up from the chair.

"Mom, I'm here." I moved closer so she could have a better view of my face.

"Sweetie. I’m sorry I scared you. I don't know why Addy called you; I feel good now."

Damn it. Hearing that broke my heart. Was she deliberately lying to me? Did she really believe it? How could I tell her something? I looked at (Y/N) with pleading eyes. I didn't know what to say. She just stroked my back as she whispered in my ear.

"Give her time. Just stay with her. I’ll go to inform the doctors she is awake.” She kissed me on the forehead and left the room. I knew it was a moment that I had to have alone with her.

***

I left the room towards the nurse's desk to report that Diana had woken up so they could contact the doctor. I didn't want to go back to the room. I knew I had to give them space and let them be alone. Despite all his fears and apprehensions, I knew Spencer would do and say the right things.

I went to one of the coffee machines and by inertia, I placed a few coins to extract perhaps the worst coffee I’d ever had in my life. But that didn't matter; at least having the feeling of doing something kept my head busy. With the cup of coffee in my hand, I sat for a few minutes on one of the benches in the waiting room.

With my eyes fixed on the dark liquid, I remembered the time I told Spencer I was pregnant. He was ecstatic. We hadn’t been consciously planning to have children, but we certainly both wanted it. The first things he said to me after "I love you" was "no more coffee," followed by "we have to tell my mom."

After our appointment with the doctor and knowing that things were going well with the pregnancy, we went to the sanitarium to see Diana. The first time we were not very lucky. She was on one of her bad days. Thankfully, she was able to recognize Spencer at the end of the visit. He was frustrated and sad, but I told him we had a lot more time to tell her and to that we could try another day. So we did; that second time we had better luck. She was much more lucid than the previous times.

“So it is true that you’ll give me a grandson or granddaughter. You haven't wasted your time…” She said, laughing.

"Mom, please." Spencer was still embarrassed by those kinds of comments.

"Spencer, no 'mom, please.' I just want to tell you both one thing: I know you’ll love that son or daughter with all your heart, but you’ll have to learn so many things! And I don't mean just learning how to change diapers or how to make a bottle – I mean how to live and let live another person who came out of your own womb, who may be the exact reflection of yourself. I think it is one of the most difficult things for a mother or father to experience. I tell you from my own experience…”

Being that Emily was still little, I didn't know if I could understand those words at their best yet, but not a day went by that I didn't remember them. Instinctively, I brought my free hand to my belly. Surely we would not only live this process with Emily. A couple of days ago I found out I was pregnant again, but I hadn't told Spencer yet. It was very recent, and I wanted to go to my first appointment before I told him. Well, there will be time for that later, I thought.

"(Y/N)?" JJ's voice brought me out of my thoughts. When I raised my head, the entire BAU team was in my view. There I realized that I hadn’t  even taken a sip of the coffee in my hand, and the smell was starting to bother me.

"Where's Reid?" Prentiss asked.

"He is with his mom now." I said, pointing to the hall where the room was. “She woke up very recently. She was sedated." Everyone gave me an empathetic look. I got up from the bench so that I could talk to them.

"How is Reid?" Rossi asked.

“Shattered. Powerless. Frustrated… I don't know what else could I say…” I shrugged and dumped the coffee in the trash can.

"And you? How are you doing?" Tara asked.

I could only scratch the base of my neck in despair. "I don’t know. I wish I could do much more... but I can only be there for him. There isn't anything else I can do.” I had not wanted to cry openly in all those hours because I was supposed to be my husband's support, but the situation was overwhelming me. In that moment, I released everything. Prentiss hugged me tight to comfort me.

"That is why we are all here, for whatever you need. We will stay here as long as necessary,” said Penelope.

"Thank you, guys. I know Spencer will appreciate it as much as I do," I said between disguised sobs on Emily's shoulder.

***

I took a deep breath and looked at my mom with a warm smile before continuing to speak.

"It’s okay, Mom. I wanted to see you anyway… that's why I'm here.” I tried to say something non-specific while finding out where we were.

"But look at this mess! These machines, these tubes… they should take all of this away from me,” she said in a frustrated tone.

"Mom... they can't. The doctors say they are necessary to monitor how you are doing and give you your medicine.” I tried to reason with her.

"The 'doctors,'" she murmured sarcastically. “Spencer, could it never be on my terms? Not even my own death?” She said, almost in a plea.

There I heard it; the proof that she knew. She was fully aware of what was going on. Would I to lie to her? I couldn't think of anything else to do.

"It’s necessary, so that you can recover."

Yes, I lied, trying to omit what had just come out of her mouth. It seemed the easiest thing to say. She looked at me with those eyes that rebuke you for lying. I felt like a child again.

“Honey… don't do that. We both know I’m not leaving here unless I’m in a coffin.”

Why did she have to be so rude while saying it? She said it as if it were the most natural and obvious outcome. Didn't she know it hurt me? Didn't it hurt her to say it?

"Mom, please... don't say that." I replied in protest.

"Do you want me to lie to you? I never liked lying to you, Spencer. You know that." Although her voice was soft, given her state and the narcotics traveling through her body, she denoted the same determination of her habitual character.

And yes; Diana Reid had never lied to me in her life, and she wasn’t going to start on her deathbed. Her ‘deathbed’. The thought of it made me finally collapse in front of her. I could see tears in her eyes too.

"Honey, look at me. I know this is difficult. Not that I have experienced it before, but we both knew this moment would come.”. I took her hand and squeezed it hard so that she knew I was listening, but I didn't want to open my eyes.

"It’s… just ... I'm not ready." My words were barely more than whispers.

"Me neither... but here we are." She squeezed my hand, and I finally opened my eyes. She had a wistful smile drawn on her face. “Sometimes we just have to let things happen. And don't think I 'm despising my life. Especially my life after having you. I have always told you that… that you are the best thing that could have happened to me in life. It would never be otherwise."

At that moment, the doctor in charge entered with some nurses. They checked the machines and brought a folder with papers that I assumed were my mom's medical records.

"Diana, how do you feel?" Asked the doctor.

"I've been better. Although at least I can recognize my son; I guess that puts me on one of my good days.” The sarcasm – my favorite inheritance. The doctor looked at me as if wanting to move away from her to talk to me.

"Mom, I'll be back in a minute, okay?"

"No. Whatever you have to discuss, do it here, in front of me. I don't want anything hidden from me. And if possible, I wish I could make decisions for myself too. After all, it is me who is dying.” Her tone was serious, but her voice trembled. A deep sigh ripped from my body. Yes, I owed her. It had to be on her terms. I looked at the doctor and nodded. She understood and began to speak.

"Well. Dr. Reid, Diana. Final examinations confirm the diagnosis of failure we had detected earlier. In the last hours we have tried 3 different routes of treatment to see if we can control the damage, but… none have worked. Sedation has helped with the pain, but it’ll start to get more intense in the next few hours. We have two options. We can maintain high levels of narcotics that will lessen the pain but keep you sedated, or we can work at lower levels, but that will bring more discomfort... but you will be conscious."

Before I could say anything, my mom stepped in. "How many hours?" Asked my mom looking at the ceiling.

"It is difficult to know exactly, but our estimate is between 4 and 6 hours." The doctor tried to explain.

"I want the second option," my mom said without even grimacing. I looked at her immediately.

"But mom, that means you will feel pain and be uncomfortable..."

She cut me off immediately. "Spencer, please, I'd rather take advantage of every hour  I have left with you than be some kind of Sleeping Beauty."

"Do you agree, Dr. Reid?" The doctor asked me. I couldn’t disagree; she wanted it. I nodded.

“Well, we’ll prepare everything for dosing and monitoring of your condition. Any changes you experience and needs that appears along the way; we can make adjustments for."

"Thank you." My mom and I said at the same time. The doctor nodded empathetically and left the room.

"Spencer, I know what you are thinking now, but I thank you for letting me make this decision.”

"I know, mom. I know." I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

"Well. I want to know. How is my granddaughter? How are things going with (Y/N)? Is she here? Tell me as if you were writing one of your letters. I love your letters, you know that".

I sat in the chair next to her and, without releasing her hand, I began to summarize the past few weeks just as if I were writing her a letter, with all the details I knew she wanted to know.

***

The waiting room was silent. With what little I had eaten, I began to feel sick. I had to go to the bathroom. The morning sickness had started, and in addition to the stress, it seemed to get worse. My cell phone vibrated. It was a message from Spencer: He wanted me to come to the room. I got out of the bathroom and informed the guys I had to go back. They nodded and said they would stay there and wait for news.

When I stepped inside, I saw Diana awake and with a smile on her face. Spencer saw me and got up from his chair.

"Mom, I told you that (Y/N) was here." He took me by the waist to bring me closer to where she was.

"Hello my dear. I'm sorry you have to see me this way. I hope you don't mind,” said Diana, as if it were a very normal day.

“Diana, there is nothing to apologize for. How are you feeling?”

"I think so far they have been quite balanced with the doses." She said, pointing to her intravenous line. I gave her an empathetic smile. She stared at me like she was analyzing me. That was not unusual for her, but given the circumstances I didn't think she would do it.

"How are you? How have you been feeling lately?" She asked me. I looked at Spencer, confused. I thought maybe he had said something to her about being stressed from work or my isolated headaches. He looked back at me just as confused.

"Fine. Well, there is plenty of work at BAU. And Emily is also quite amount of work.” I said, laughing. She gently nodded.

"And you’ll have more work with the new one." She said nonchalantly upon seeing my belly. I froze, immediately feeling Spencer's eyes on me. I don't know what Diana saw, but she knew immediately.

"Are you…?" Spencer asked to me.

"Honey, it's obvious. Apparently you are not paying too much attention.” Diana said. I just nodded before she looked at me again, “Darling, I'm sorry I ruined the surprise, but I'm glad to know that your family is going to grow, even though I won't be there to see it.” She spoke with a sigh.

At that time the nurses came back in to check on Diana's condition. They asked us to leave the room for a moment. In the hallway, Spencer looked at me with puzzled eyes.

"Baby, I didn't want to tell you because it's so recent. I only took the tests a few days ago. I have an appointment with the doctor next week. I’m sorry.” I tried to apologize.

"It's okay. I’m not reproaching you for anything. Come here." He pulled me with one of his hands and hugged me tight. "Sorry that I can't be more animated, but it really seems like fantastic news to me."

"You don’t have to apologize. It's not the right time now either, I know.”

"As you can see, my mom always has other plans." He said muffling his voice in my hair.

"How she is doing?" I took advantage of asking to him. He related what was coming. He looked much calmer than at the beginning of the day. Resigned? Perhaps.

Although the passing of the hours meant a painful countdown, Spencer managed to share with Diana the most intimate of her mother-son relationship. I must say I always admired the way they cared about each other. Spencer trying to be the protective son while Diana, in her role as mother, always looked to teach him new things; advise him, support him, even if they didn’t see each other on a daily basis. The kind of bond that many families, no matter how much time they spend together, never achieve.

The last medical check-up showed Diana was declining, and that pain was not so subtle without the medication. The doctor again offered the option of sedation, which Diana refused.

***

I could see her face more uncomfortable than in the prior hours. You could tell she was breathing harder and her eyes were heavier. She insisted on being conscious as far as her body would allow. I never abandoned her side. Neither of us could speak. She didn’t because it was more physically difficult; I didn’t because I felt a lump in my throat from the powerlessness of seeing her in pain. We were silent. It was early morning, but the first ray of daylight hadn’t yet appeared. She opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Honey, what are you thinking...?” She asked softly.

"That I don’t like to see you in pain..."

She could barely smile. "I don't care about pain. I’m happy that you are with me. That is enough for me.” She said, closing her eyes and giving a deep sigh. You could tell it was more effort than she was willing to admit.

"Mom... I..." I wanted to be honest with her, but it was hard for me to get out of my 'I'm fine' role.

"Just say it, Spencer. Don't keep it. Especially not now…” She said in an almost inaudible voice.

"Mom, I'm scared. I’m afraid to let you go, and it's not just because I love you, it's because I don't know who I am in this world if I'm not your son. If I'm not here to protect you." I started crying again.

"Spencer... that's a role you've had for a long time." She told me in a whisper.

"It’s what I am..."

"No. You, my dear son, you are more than that. What we are in the world... can change. It's part of life. You have to move forward. You have to keep going. Do it for me, for you, for your family… Please.”

"How do I do that...?" I asked almost rhetorically.

"Just do it. You've been a wonder boy for many years. You are an adult now. A loving husband, an exceptional father… Just keep going.”

"I promise I’ll try. I swear, I’ll try… ” I said, squeezing her hand.

"I know. And I know you’ll succeed. Because you are my son, and I know you and I love you.”

Those were her last words.

The next few minutes were silent. All I could do was take her hand to try and comfort her through the pain. When the grip of her hand became languid, I realized she had passed away. The constant, deafening sound of the machines was only a confirmation of what I already knew.

A sob tore from my throat. Within a second the room filled with doctors and nurses. I couldn't let go of her hand. I didn’t dare; I couldn’t. (Y/N) took my arm, helping me to release my mom's hand. Helping me let her go.

“Spencer. We have to get out of the room. Come on love, let's go.” Nodding, I followed her into the hall. (Y/N) started talking to me to get me out of my shock. "It's okay. Everything will be fine. She is fine now. She is no longer suffering. You could be with her to the end. You let her go on her terms. I’m proud of what you did, Spencer, and I'm sure that she is even more proud.” I managed to hug her and sank my head into her shoulder.

***

"I'm going to miss her so much..." He told me as I gently stroked his head, trying to calm him down.

"I know, baby. I know. But you’re not alone; we’re not alone. We are together in this. We’ll get through it, I promise."

Those were the only words that came out of my mouth. I knew the pain was not going to go away quickly. I knew this would be slow, but I was willing to do whatever it took to help him. I sincerely hoped that he knew that.

We held each other for a while. Then it was him who broke the embrace, looking me in the eyes and resting his hands on my shoulders to make sure I was paying attention to him.

“I couldn't be luckier to have you by my side. And if I have to repeat it every day of my life, I’ll do it, because I don't want to take anything for granted between us. Thank you for being with me. I love you, (Y/N)”. His words were accompanied by a warm little smile; a promise that things would be okay, eventually.

"Always. Never doubt that I love you, Spencer Reid. And I’ll be forever grateful to Diana for raising such a unique and wonderful person like you."

Before walking to the waiting room, I told him that the entire team was there. I didn't want to disturb him with a surprise at a time of such vulnerability. He nodded, taking my hand, and we continued toward the waiting room. Seeing them, he couldn't let the tears run down his cheeks. I released his hand so that he could receive everyone's affection. Another way to show him that he was not alone in this; that there were people who would always be there for him.

***

I never expected to see so many people on the day of her funeral. In addition to my current BAU team, Derek, Aaron, Alex, and Kate were there, along with some of my mom's ex-students, part of the Brookfield workers, and others I didn’t recognize. I received many hugs and words of reassurance.

It was time for my speech. I looked at (Y/N) and our little Emily, who could hardly understand what was happening. I cleared my throat and started to speak.

Of course, Diana Reid would not have liked it all to be sadness, so when I saw the audience laugh at some of the anecdotes I told, I felt that she was smiling at me from where she was now. It was my time for the last words.

“… she always had something to say… something to say to me. In her own way, she taught me to be the man I am now. I’ll forever be grateful for that. And if there is something I aspire to in my life, it is to be able to teach my daughter and my next child so many things, as my mother taught me. And I know that she is proud of me; she told me that many times. But I want to continue to honor that pride for the rest of my life. I want to continue being the worthy son that she deserves, even though her body is no longer here. Now I only have one more thing to say... something to tell you, mom. Thank you for letting me be your son. I love you."

——————–

[jobean12-blog]

Top Shelf: Chapter 14- On the same Page

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (bookshop/bartender/baking AU)

Word Count: 2,215

Summary: You two do your best to recover after your meeting with Tony and decide it’s finally time to talk to Grandma Betty. 

Author’s Note: Thank you for sticking with me through this story, it means everything. And I know I say it every chapter but I can’t thank you enough. I hope you enjoy this one and again, thank you all, so very much for reading! I LOVE YOU ALL ALWAYS ❤❤❤

Warnings: slight angst in the beginning, sweet and soft fluff, alcohol consumption, light smut smattering here and there :)

Previous Chapters 

Chapter 1: Enchantment

Chapter 2: Cookie Crumble

Chapter 3: Sweet Anticipation

Chapter 4: Read Between the Limes

Chapter 5: Secrets on the Shelf

Chapter 6: Love Between the Covers *

Chapter 7: Love Lines & Soul Finds

Chapter 8: Drunk in Love *

Chapter 9: Pour it onto the Page 

Chapter 10: Recipe for Love *

Chapter 11: The Pages in Between 

Chapter 12: Bookaholics 

Chapter 13: For the Love of Books

You left the meeting with the full support of Tony and the opportunity for a strong foundation to build your dream, but you were both shaken to your core. Neither of you had said much on the walk home and instead of being consumed with excitement everything seemed to be shrouded in uncertainty. Bucky’s hand is warm over yours and his grip tight, almost as if you might run away from him at any moment.

Instead, you pull him closer, wrapping your arms around his waist and squeezing tight. He returns the gesture, stopping you in the middle of the sidewalk and crushing you to his chest. “I love you,” he whispers into your hair, holding in a breath while he waits for your response. “Bucky. I love you. So much.”

He deflates like a popped balloon and drops his head to your neck, running his nose along the delicate column of skin while he whispers, “I love you.” You start walking again, this time wrapped in each other’s arms and without a word head toward the bookstore. He unlocks the door and you walk in, turning on the small light by the counter.

Leaving your jackets in the back room you head upstairs; the only sounds are of the city outside and the beginnings of an evening thunderstorm. Once you’re in the secret library you grab your overnight bag that you keep for moments like this, filled with some clean clothes and toiletries and change. Bucky strips down to his boxers and a tee shirt before fixing the blankets and pillows.

He lays down and holds the blanket up for you to crawl under. When you do, he gently rests it on your shoulder and snakes his arm around your waist to pull you close. You’re not sure how long you lay there face to face, just tracing over his jaw and lips while his fingertips sweep over your shoulder. Opening his mouth to speak he thinks better of it and kisses you instead, his warm lips gentle as they move over your own.

The thunderstorm outside rages, the loud claps of thunder rattling the skylight while the heavy rain beats against it. Every touch from his hands is just the opposite, a delicate dance that’s both controlled and desperate, taking you apart piece by piece. Even as the storm calms your love erupts, swallowing you both in a sea without end and it’s in the soft light of early morning that you know exactly what your heart wants.

“Bucky. Bucky! Hey Buck. Wake up!” He groans and rolls over to snuggle into your shoulder. “Mornin’,” he mumbles. “Morning baby,” you giggle, poking his side until he looks up at you. “You look happy for 6 am,” he teases, his eyes soft. “I am happy.” He sits up, suddenly feeling more awake and asks, “you are? I thought after what Tony said…” He doesn’t finish the sentence and just frowns looking to you to say more.

“I want to do this,” you say confidently. “It’s just like the first day I met you. I had a feeling. Something I couldn’t really describe if anyone had asked but I felt it just the same.” He takes your hands in his, rubbing small circles over your knuckles and taking a moment to think on his next words. “There is nothing I want more than you, for you to be happy. But this isn’t going to be easy. I think the excitement of a possible fix was overshadowing some of the real big questions. Like the one Tony brought up.”

Moving closer to him you sit between his legs as your fingers smooth down his chest. “I know. You’re right. This will be hard and scary and at times I’m sure it will put a strain on our relationship. But Bucky. If we don’t do this, then we have to live with that choice.” He nods in understanding and rests his head atop yours. “Can you just promise me one thing?”

You slip out from under him, looking him straight in the eyes when you ask, “and what’s that?” His eyes search yours before he speaks, his voice barely above a whisper, “this is me and you. No matter what happens, we’re a team, we’re in this together. Me and you.” Resting your forehead to his you kiss him softly before replying with, “me and you, baby.”

The rest of your Friday moves agonizingly slow at work and all you want to do is hide away in the secret space of the bookshop with Bucky. When the day ends you head back to your apartment, showering and making some food while you wait for him to come by. He has to work at the bar tonight but is stopping by beforehand.

“I want to call Tony so badly, but I know we need to run this by grandma before we take this big step.” Bucky’s eyes are focused on you as he speaks, a slight twinge of worry to his voice. “Yes, definitely. Did you ask her if she wanted to have dinner Sunday?” He nods, pulling out his phone and reading her message. ‘I can’t wait to see you kids. Tell y/n to bring more of that chocolate pie and something new for me to taste test.’

Trying to stifle a smile you tap your finger against your chin, contemplating what to make next. “Hmm, I’ll check my Pinterest. I found some good recipes last weekend. I was also thinking of making an Instagram for my baking, I just can’t think of a clever name for it!” Bucky’s eyebrows draw together as he thinks and his nose scrunches up. “Oh my god you’re so cute.” His surprised look makes you laugh harder. “When you think really hard your nose gets all scrunched up cute and you’re so cute.”

“That’s a lot of cute,” he beams, now scrunching up his nose on purpose. “Ok, calm down, now you look like you’ve got something stuck up there.” The two of you really get going, throwing playful insults back and forth while trying to come up with a catchy name. “What about something like ‘Bookshop Baker’ since you’ll eventually be selling your stuff at the bookshop.” You stand up with a squeal, high fiving Bucky and grabbing your phone. “It’s available! YAY! Thanks baby.”

Saturday night you’re back at the bar with Nat after spending the afternoon together shopping and catching up. Peter waves hi from the other end of the bar but doesn’t approach you and you throw Bucky a glare while he serves another customer. Sam saunters over wearing the grin he reserves only for Nat, but she isn’t having any of it. “You know. If you didn’t scare the shit out of Peter, we would already have drinks. But now, we have to wait because Bucky is busy.”

Sam rests his forearms along the bar and purses his lips. “Well. You know you could also ask your boyfriend and the owner of the bar to get you your drinks.”  Nat’s eyes soften and she whispers something in his ear and Sam walks off with a satisfied smile. “Do I wanna know?” She responds with nothing more than a wink and you know better than to push for more.

Peggy and Steve join you an hour later and you’re so happy that everyone was able to meet up on the same night. The conversation is flowing and even more so the alcohol and before you know it you find yourself pressed against the door of the supply room with Bucky’s hands under your dress. “You shouldn’t be teasin’ me so much baby doll.” His voice is low and husky, and you can’t help the way your body reacts. “What? A girl can’t enjoy watching her man at work.” You know you’re tipsy but you’re having way too much fun and from the feel of it, Bucky has zero complaints.

Your movements are frantic as you palm him through his jeans. “Bucky,” you whine, your lips in a pout when he pulls away. His forehead rests against yours as he catches his breath. “Listen, I want nothing more than to fuck you right here and right now but it’s really busy out there and…” “BARNES! Did you get that Tequila yet? What the hell happened?” Bucky’s hand covers your mouth, his own turned up into a devious grin. “We’ll never hear the end of this if you don’t keep quiet.” Slowly nodding you press your lips together and hold Bucky’s heated gaze as he yells, “Yep, be right out Sam!” You listen as his footsteps fall away and hand Bucky the bottle. “Don’t forget this,” you giggle, turning on your heel and sashaying out the door.

You spend the rest of the night continuing to tease Bucky’s every time you get a chance, loving how clearly hot and bothered he is. It isn’t until you’re in the cab ride home that he acts on it, carefully resting his hand on your thigh and lightly squeezing while he discreetly inches his fingers higher. Your expression goes from shocked to blissful the moment his finger brushes over your underwear and you’re biting your bottom lip to stop from moaning out loud.

Not a moment later he takes his hand away and the cab comes to a stop in front of your apartment. He gets out, a smug look on his face as he holds his hand out to help you. You scoot over the seat and take it, smiling sweetly at him on the way out. You barely make it through the door of your apartment before he pulls the dress over your head and throws it across the room. “This is all I’ve been thinking about,” he growls, lifting you to wrap your legs around is waist.

Sunday morning arrives in a tangle of sheets and naked skin with Bucky’s arms curled around your middle. You start to stretch and wiggle, somehow maneuvering out from his hold without waking him. Once you’re washed up and settled in the kitchen you begin to work your magic. You’re concentrating so hard you don’t hear Bucky come in and ask if you want coffee. It isn’t until he lightly kisses your shoulder that you’re aware of his presence, accidentally slapping him with the spatula in your surprise.

“Oops. Mornin’ Buck.” You smile warily and wait for his reaction. His tongue darts out to lick his lips and he hums at the taste. “Wow, what is that?!” Hopping up and down with the spatula you tell him, “it’s pastry cream for my cream puffs!” He grabs the spatula and brings it to his lips, going in for another taste. “Oh, I don’t think so, you can wait,” you scold before pulling it away.

Later that day you arrive at grandma’s, chocolate pie and cream puffs in hand and your heart in your throat. “Hello kids! Well, don’t these look divine y/n! And there’s that chocolate pie! I might just put this aside for myself and the girls when we play mahjong tomorrow.”  She says it with a wink before pulling you into a tight hug, ushering you both inside.

You and Bucky help set the table and make sure she doesn’t need you to do anything else before taking a seat. She mixes the pasta on the stove and levels you with a stern look. “Ok you two. You better start talking,” she demands, pointing the wooden spoon at you both. Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up and you suck your teeth, giving far too much away.

“Don’t make me withhold the food.” Bucky grumbles, quickly cracking under the pressure and giving you a look. “We might as well talk now doll.” You slowly nod your head and look at Betty, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Well, it’s about the bookshop.” She continues stirring the pasta. “I know.” Giving Bucky a sideways glance of confusion you continue, “and we had an idea about adding some things to help business, you know get more customers in.”

Still stirring the pasta, she adds in, “right. Because nowadays everyone is reading e-books and all that nonsense. The charm of an old bookshop just isn’t enough anymore.” Both you and Bucky are shaking your heads in astonished agreement but not speaking and finally Betty’s bright laugh snaps you out of it. “You’re…you’re not upset?” Bucky asks cautiously, gripping your hand tightly under the table.

“Upset? Upset that my wonderful grandson and the love of his life want to help keep the dream of mine and your grandpa’s bookshop alive?” She strains the pasta and brings the bowl to the table. “No. I’m not upset. I knew this day would come and I’m so thankful that you kids are here to do something about it.”

You can feel the tears start to well up, but you try your best to hold them back. It’s Bucky’s reaction that makes it too difficult. He stands and rushes around the table, taking Betty in his arms and hugging her, his quiet, “I love you, grandma,” sending you over the edge. “I love you too, James. Now sit down and eat, you have to tell me all the details.”

@flyawaybay @throwmyheartawayagain @amandatar-06 @nd1998sc @captainchrisstan @vherriepie @godofplumsandthunder @when-the-hell-is-bucky @fire-flv @jamesbarnesappreciationclub​ @irishflutiegirl​ @rinthehufflepuff​ @moonybarnes​ @nordlysinthewoods​ @scarletsoldierrr​ @inflxmes @lauratang​ @my-favorite-fics-and-imagines​ @buchanansebba​ @curlyred2020 @addikted-2-dopamine​ @lady-pswrld​ @buckys-henley​ @emilylyoness​ @lookiamtrying​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @aesthetical-bucky​ @auro-ora​ @bugsbucky​ @buckys-minty-breath​ @bucky-on-my-mind​ @book-dragon-13​ @breezy1415​ @buckys-broody-muffin​ @eurynome827​ @hiddles-rose​ @hailmary-yramliah​ @hawksmagnolia​ @imgaril-lindru​ @itsunclebucky​ @ikaris-whore​ @jhangelface0523​ @jewels2876​ @kaosera​ @loricameback​ @lorilane33​ @littledarlinhavefaithinme​ @littleredstarfish​ @marvelandotherfandomimagines​ @marvelgirl7​ @mushyjellybeans​ @nano--raptor​ @randomfandompenguin​ @sallycanwait68​ @softpeachbarnes​ @the-wayward-robot​ @tuiccim​ @yansi1923​ 

[mirkwoodshewolf]

My sweet buttercup; Eugene Sledge x reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well this only took me a couple days to write this little genius but now I’ve got it done and ready for you all to enjoy. Now I really wanted to try something different with this Eugene fic, I really wanted to DIVE right and get to the heart and root of the blossoming relationship b/t Eugene and the reader in this fic. So more n the lines of what they were like as kids together, early teen years, basically a Pre-WW2 fic mostly before the ending.

Warnings: Fluff, bit of angst, family disownment, mentions of PTSD, forbidden love.

But I hope you all enjoy this fic so much and until next time ;)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@simonedk​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@dancingcoolcat​

@queensdivas​

@geek-and-proud​

@queendeakyy​

@kairosfreddie​

___________________________________________________________

*June 14th, 1928*

It was a warm summer day in Mobile, Alabama. In the center of town stood a farmer’s market shop run by Sheldon (L/n).  Sheldon (L/n) was once part of the 1st Marine division back during the Great War.  After the war he settled back home in Mobile to run himself a farm where he was known for growing the brightest, freshest, most delectable apples in the whole state of Alabama.

Why if you asked people where the stores got their apples from, nine times out of ten they would tell you they came from (L/n) farm.  Sheldon while having his shell shock moments from the war, still managed to have the American dream.

He married his high school sweetheart Marianne Lewis and they lived a good life together and had a beautiful baby girl they named (y/n) (l/n).  

Sadly though, when little (y/n) was just a year old, her mom died of breast cancer.  Sheldon was devastated but he tried to keep trudging on by being both hard working man, and loving father to his little girl.

Walking through the town was Dr. Edward Sledge, his wife Mary Frank and their two sons, Edward Jr. Sledge and Eugene Sledge.  Eugene was five years old, going on six come the fall.

His bright auburn hair bounced off the summer sun and as they came right towards Sheldon’s shop, Edward stopped his family in their tracks.

“Maybe we best find another way around.” Suggested Edward warily.

“Edward, it was five years ago, can’t you learn to let it go?” Mary Frank told her husband.

“I have, but Sheldon on the other hand…..that man’s as stubborn as an ox.” It was then Sheldon came out with some crates of food ready to be shipped off to the stores.

As soon as he saw Dr. Sledge, a gruesome scowl came across the farmer’s face.

“Just what do you think you are doing here Sledge?!”

“Now Sheldon calm down, we were only passing by.”

“If you think I’m gonna do any type of business with you, think again! After what you had done…..”

“Sheldon there was nothing my husband could do to help Marianne.”

“Mary Frank you keep out of this.” Her husband warned her cautiously.

“You best listen to him Mary Anne. This is no concern of yours. Now get yourselves as well as those little monsters of yours away from my shop!” he spat down at the ground in disgust before slamming the door of his shop closed.

“Why does Mr. (L/n) hate us so badly mama?” asked Edward Jr.

“Oh never you mind that Edward. It’s just grown up business.” Mary Frank assured her eldest son.

“Come along boys, we’re gonna head back towards the barbershop and go through the back alley there to get to the fair.” The two boys groaned.

“But that’ll take longer!” whined Edward Jr.

“Why do we have to go back!?” groaned Eugene.

“Now boys don’t argue with your father. Now come along, or else we can just head right back home and forget about the fair till next year.” Their mother scolded them.  That immediately got them to stop whining and soon they turned back around and went the long way to the fair.

They barely got a block away from Sheldon’s market shop when Eugene heard someone calling out to them.  It was a faint psst sound so he stopped right by a flower cart and soon peaking out from it was a young girl around his age.

She had curly (h/c) hair and bright (e/c) eyes that sparkled like the stars at night.  Eugene knew this girl very well, it was his best friend (well secret best friend) (Y/n) (l/n).

Yep.  Even though Sheldon has repeatedly drilled into his daughter’s mind to never, ever, ever under any circumstances go anywhere near the Sledge family.  But due to the fact that the two kids were in the same class as one another, they just—clicked immediately.

Her, Eugene, and Sydney Phillips were like the three Musketeers.  But Eugene and (y/n) well—they had a special bond with each other.  They were just like peas and carrots.  Different in every way but somehow they managed to click with each other.

“Eugene, over here!” he smiled before turning to see his parents and older brother who hadn’t noticed he wasn’t with them anymore. He smiled and ran up to (y/n) who had a basket filled with wildflowers in them.

“Hey (y/n). Mrs. Mulley said you were sick last week and that’s why you weren’t at Sunday school, what did you have?”

“Just a bad tummy ache. But I’m all better and I’ll be back in Sunday school tomorrow.”

“That’s good. What did you find?” he said gesturing to her basket.  Sometimes, if they could manage it, Eugene and (y/n) could be seen going out to the fields picking wild flowers together.  They would even have contests to see who could pick the most flowers in a certain amount of time.

“Mostly pink and blue flowers. But check this out,” she then held up a yellow buttercup flower.

“That’s a buttercup flower. My mama sometimes grows those in our garden.” Eugene said.

“Buttercup huh? I like it, it suits it.”

“You know my mama says that if you hold a buttercup under your chin, it’ll make it glow. I tried it once but it didn’t work.” (y/n) looked at it with curiosity before putting it under her chin.

“Does it work for me?” and well and behold, her chin was glowing right over the buttercup flower.

Even at the tender age of five, Eugen B. Sledge always knew he held more than a friendship feeling for (Y/n).  Whenever she’d laugh, his heart would beat faster and it felt like he was being tickled by a billion butterflies in his tummy.

His face would go red every time they would pick wild flowers together, and his heart ached every time she had to mention that her daddy didn’t want her talking to him.

“It sure does buttercup.” He said softly.

“Did you just call me a—”

“(Y/N)! Oh now where is that girl at? (Y/n)!” her father’s voice soon called out from the market.  He whistled for her like she were a dog and that’s when she turned to Eugene and whispered.

“I gotta go, see you at church Eugene, bye!” she quickly ran off with her flower basket towards her daddy.  As Eugene watched her father kneel down in front of her giving her a soft but firm lecture about running off, Eugene couldn’t help but feel those butterflies again.

“Eugene! Eugene!?” at the sound of his brother’s voice, he snapped out of his daze and quickly ran off before Mr. (L/n) could take notice of a Sledge boy staring at the two of them.

*September 17th, 1938*

It was a hard time in America.  For five years now, the whole country was under a Great Depression.  Every American was affected and of course that didn’t exclude the Sledge’s or the (L/n)’s.  Without enough payment for the extra help, it was all up to Sheldon and (Y/n) to work the farm.

And in order to help bring extra money and food on the table, the Sledge siblings both got jobs helping their dad out with his physician at home job.

Right now Sydney and Eugene were walking along the outskirts of Mobile.  Along for the ride was Eugene’s new little pup, Deacon.  He had gotten Deacon as a ‘job well done’ gift from his dad.  A client of his had a dog that recently had a litter of pups but times were tough and if they didn’t get the pups adopted soon they’d be taken to the shelter.

So Edward being the kind hearted gentleman that he was known for, got the dog and decided the pup would be a good gift for his son Eugene, as a token for being such a big help through these uncertain times.

As the two boys walked over the tall hill, they soon came upon the (L/n) farm.  Sydney and Eugene were both shocked to see just how much the Depression had affected the farm.

The soil that they remember being a rich stretch of fresh soil was now dried up and cracking.  Weeds were growing up in almost every spot imaginable.  Without the extra help, it was almost impossible to keep the weeds in check.

And of course there was hardly anymore livestock anymore.  Save for the horse, 2 cows, and the chickens.  All the other animals the (L/n)’s once had, had to be sold off in order to get the money they needed to survive.

“Man, I heard (y/n) was struggling but—never did I think it was this badly.” Sydney said with a solemn shake of his head.

“No wonder why she said she had to quit school and be with her dad.”

“Are you sure it ain’t for another reason why you miss her?” teased Sydney.  At that moment (y/n) had came out of the chicken coop with a bunch of eggs in a crate and the two of them watched her enter back into her family home.

“You wish you were right Sid.”

“Oh I know I’m right. I’m always right when it comes to you two. Don’t think I didn’t know about the time in 3rd grade when you offered to do her side of the book report when she broke her leg and had to stay at the hospital.”

“I was being polite and didn’t want her getting held back.” As the two of them bickered back and forth, the 10 month old pup had raced down the hill catching scent of the chickens and crept towards the chicken coop.

Deacon slowly stalked towards the door before entering inside of it.  The young pup stared at the chickens before one of them caught sight of the unfamiliar creature that stood in their coop.

The pup then let out a series of barks which sent the chickens running mad with fear.  From up on the hill, Eugene looked down to see Deacon was gone and from the barks that came down below, he immediately put two and two together.

“DEACON NO STOP!”

“Eugene wait you can’t go down there!” Sydney raced after him.

At that moment, Deacon came out of the coop chasing after the flock of chickens who were racing around frantically trying to escape this wolf-like creature.

(Y/n) immediately peeked out from her bedroom window and was shocked to see what was going on.  The chickens being chased by the dog, the dog being chased by Eugene, and Gene being chased by Sid.

“Oh hey (y/n).” Sid stopped by her bedroom window.

“Sid what in the samhell is going on out here!?”

“Funny you should ask, but uhh—mind helping us out?” she quickly got on her shoes and crawled out of her window before running beside Sydney to try and round up the chickens.

Running around like—well chickens with no heads, Eugene, (Y/n) and Sydney all tried to calm the situation down before he father would return home.

“WHAT’S GOING ON OUT THERE!?!?” at hearing that thunderous voice.  (Y/n) stopped running as she held a chicken in her arms and froze in fear.

“You guys need to get out of here, now!” she urged Eugene and Sydney on.  Eugene who had finally gotten hold of Deacon turned towards (Y/n) but before he could say a word, a gunshot was heard and the shot landed just a few inches away from his foot.

“C’mon Eugene lets go!” Sydney pleaded and soon the two men took off running for the hills.  The backdoor slammed open and there stood Sheldon with his shotgun in hand and his jaw dropped at the sight before him.

All the chickens out of their coop, now finally calm, the chicken coop now lay there in rubble (when (y/n) and Gene tried to wrangle Deacon and a few chickens that had gotten back into the coop, the sudden jostling and heavy weight of both humans trying to calm the situation down, forced the coop to collapse under their weight).

“What-gup—what happened here!? (Y/n) (m/n) (l/n). You were supposed to be gathering the chicken eggs!!”

“I know daddy.”

“Then why the hell are they out and about!? How did the coop get destroyed!? JUST WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING GIRL!?!?”

From up on the hill, Eugene’s heart broke at hearing (y/n) getting yelled at by her own father.  She had nothing to do with this.  So getting the courage, he held Deacon once more and walked down the hill back towards the farm.

“Eugene, Gene don’t you dare! He’ll kill you if you go over there. Eugene!” Sydney hissed out quietly but Gene refused to listen to his best friend.

“I—” (Y/n) began to respond till Eugene’s voice called out.

“She didn’t do it sir.” The two of them turned around.  Gripping his gun tighter, Sheldon stood in front of his daughter and said lowly.

“What was that boy?”

“The chicken coop. And the reason why the chickens got out. It was my fault. (Y/n) had nothing to do with it. You see my dog—”

“Great, the Sledge’s have a dog. One more thing to worry about.” Sheldon muttered angrily to himself.

“Please Mr. (L/n), don’t blame (y/n) for this. She was doing her job just like you told her to do. If anyone’s the blame, it’s me. And I’ll do anything to make it up to you.” Hearing Eugene confess, it made (y/n)’s heart flutter and place her hand over her heart.

“Oh you can be damned well sure you will boy. As much as I hate to say this. You’ll be helping me out for the rest of the Harvest season, as well as repairing the chicken coop! And you young lady, come with me.”

He dragged his daughter back to the house as he whispered harshly to her.

“Throughout the time he’s here repairing and helping out, I don’t want you anywhere near him. No daughter of mine is gonna be seen with a Sledge.” As her father continue to rant out his hatred towards the Sledges, (Y/n) turned back towards Eugene and softly smiled at him and mouthed out a thank you.

Eugene smiled softly and seeing her smile it was like cupid’s arrow had struck him as he made goo-goo eyes at her.  Even as Sydney snapped his fingers in Gene’s face to get him to snap out of it, Gene was stuck under the love spell he was on.

As agreed; Eugene worked with his father helping him run the at home physician and on his breaks, he’d ride his bike over to (Y/n)’s place to repair the chicken coop, as well as pull out the weeds.

Of course that didn’t stop Eugene and (Y/n) from sneaking puppy love eyes at each other as the two teens were put to work. Throughout the harvest season, it only allowed Eugene and (Y/n) to grow closer than they ever were before.

*June 14th, 1941*

Eugene and (Y/n).  Never has there been a couple more meant for each other.  Sid always referred to them as childhood sweethearts, and now for these past several years, they’ve really seemed to just hit it off.  And with him being the only real person who knew of their ‘more than friendship’ relationship, he kept that to himself.

Of course Eugene’s parents never turned (y/n) away.  From the early days when they were kids, they welcomed her with open arms.  What they didn’t know was their blossoming relationship. Neither of their parents knew of their courting with each other, and they wanted to keep it that way for just a little while longer.

The two of them were at their favorite hillside where they once picked wildflowers when they were kids.  Splayed out along a blanket cuddled close together watching the summer sunset.  Eugene lying on his back with (y/n) lying her head against his chest, their hands intertwined with each other’s and their thumbs stroking the back of each other’s hands.

“Happy Anniversary my love.”

“What do you mean Gene?” she looked up at him.

“You heard me, happy 131, 456 hour anniversary.” Eugene said with a small grin as he picked up a buttercup flower and tucked it behind her ear.

“What? That’s way longer than when we first met.”

“I know. But it’s the anniversary of the day I first called you my buttercup.” He said as he cupped her face.  Inside (y/n) felt warm and fuzzy remembering that day by the flower cart when Eugene had called her buttercup after finding out one glow underneath her chin. “But it’s fine if you forgot and didn’t get me anything.” Teased Eugene as he sat up trying to hide a grin.  She rolled her eyes at Eugene’s teasing.

“Actually I did.” She crawled towards a log and pulled out a guitar case.  Eugene’s eyes widened and as she opened the case up he said.

“Oh darlin you shouldn’t have but uhh—I don’t really know how to play.”

“Quiet you.” she teased back as she took the guitar (which was actually hers) and she began playing a soft tune.  After letting the soft tune play for a bit she opened her mouth and began to sing.

As she sang; she began to remember all the times she and Eugene had together.  From sharing secret letters/drawings with each other (with Deacon being the messenger dog), nature walks together, or secretly waving at each other from her father’s shop.

Their times doing out to the soda shops every Saturday night to go dancing.  Always dancing together

We're far apart in every way

But you're the best part of my day

And sure as I breathe the air

I know we are the perfect pair

On a prickly path that goes on for miles

But it's worth it just to see you smile

And I cannot be pulled apart

From the hold you have on my heart

And even if the world tells us it's wrong

You're in my head like a catchy song

“I’ve always loved hearing you sing.” Sighed Eugene lovingly.

“The song’s not too gushy is it? Be honest now.”

“It’s everything but gushy, please sing more for me.” He said as he laid his head close to her thigh. (Y/n) continued to sing while Eugene just stared at her with loving eyes.

More memories came to both of them from their nature walks through any type of weather whenever they had free time.  The stargazing’s they’ve done, and even one time when (Y/n) was struggling with the farm one spring that she ended up working till nightfall.

When morning came that morning, she found herself being covered with Eugene’s jacket and just a couple feet away from her, laid an exhausted Gene.  He had actually came by and done the rest of the work for her so that she could get some sleep.  As he slept, she had sat down beside Eugene and stroked through his auburn hair.

The seasons change and leaves may fall

But I'll be with you through them all

And rain or shine, you'll always be mine

On a prickly path that goes on for miles

You're the only one who makes it all worthwhile

And you should not blame me, too

If I can't help fallin' in love with you...

At the last verse, the two of them went red. While they have called each other their love or life, and while they were technically courting, neither of them has actually those three binding words.  (Y/n) covered her mouth with her hand and looked down shyly as her face went red.

“Well that’s unfair. I was gonna tell you that first.”

“Yeah right.”

“I’m serious, I was gonna pull you up,” he stood up and helped her stand up. “Cover your eyes,” he covered her eyes. “Lead you over here.” He then guided her as he kept his hands over her eyes towards the wooded area of the fields. “And say surprise!” he uncovered her eyes and (Y/n) saw the sweetest thing she would ever see.

There along the willow tree they used to climb when they were kids, was a heart engraved at the center of the trunk and written in that heart were their initials. E.B.S + (F/I). (M/I). (L/I). She walked up towards their willow tree and placed her hand over the engravement.

“And then you’d say ‘Oh Genie. It’s—it’s so beautiful. I love it’.” He said imitating her Southern bell voice. “And then I’d say, ‘well, not as much as I love you’.”

“Guess I’m glad I beat you to it then.” She teased as she playfully bumped into him.

“I can accept that.” He said with a proud grin as he wrapped his arms around her waist while she wrapped her around his neck before the two of them finally kissed each other.

It was the kind of kiss that wasn’t deeply passionate that you couldn’t breathe.  It was the kind of kiss that just felt like you found your missing half. Gene and (Y/n) were meant to be together and right as they kissed, it felt like it was right.

They were right for each other.  And they began to dream of their bright future together. But of course no happiness lasts forever.

After returning from the fields later that evening, she came home to see her home filled to the rim with boxes.  She asked her father what was going on and that’s when her father told her the grim truth.

They were moving to North Dakota.

Her father explained to her that the property here was just too dry to farm at anymore.  Ever since the Depression decade the land hasn’t been the same.  So he hired a contractor to tear the family home and the farm down, he had sold off the rest of the animals, and in two days they were gonna get a fresh start in a new land, with new people, and most important for him it would get them away from the Sledges.

(Y/n) was devastated.  Two days and she’d never get to see Sydney Phillips, or Eugene ever again.

When she broke the news to Eugene the next day at the Willow tree, Eugene couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  He held onto his weeping girl waiting for her to calm down before he finally spoke to her.

“But you’re practically an adult now (y/n). He can’t control you anymore.”

“What do you want me to say Eugene? I love you, I really do but—he’s the only family I got. And I—I have to stay with my family. I’m sorry!” with that she took off crying, heartbroken and alone.

Eugene looked towards the carving that he had done with his father’s old doctoring knife he used in the Great war.  He placed his finger’s over (y/n)’s initials and knew what he had to do, but he knew he didn’t have much time so immediately he got on his bike and pedaled off as fast as he could into town.

By nightfall as (y/n) was solemnly packing up her stuff, Eugene came knocking at her window and he told her to come with him. He made up a story that Deacon wasn’t feeling to good and he needed his ‘mama’.  Knowing how much she loved that dog, Eugene and her rode off on his bike.

They soon arrived at the church garden, which was an odd place that Eugene would bring Deacon at, but when she saw the candles all lit up and a beautiful flower archway standing near the back entrance of the church.  

Wide eyed in awe, (Y/n) couldn’t believe what she was seeing.  When she felt Eugene take her hand he got down on one knee and said to her.

“I don’t ever want to be apart from you. I don’t know what’ll happen in the future but—all I know is now. And I know that I love you so much that I’d marry you today. If you’ll have me that is?” tears of happiness filled her eyes as she said to Eugene.

“I’d like that too.” Eugene smiled and stood up as he embraced his fiancée and spun her around, the two of them cheering and laughing with glee.

After settling down, the two of them walked arm-in-arm with each other towards the pastor (who was actually their own Sunday school teacher who had since went up the ranks and was now one of the head pastor of their church).  With Sydney Phillips as their witness and Eugene’s best man, the ceremony began.

The two young teens shared their vows together before the house of God and proclaimed their loyalty and love to each other.

“Then by the name of our Holy Father and in the eyes of the law; I now pronounce you—”

“Pastor Jacob! Pastor Jacob! Please can you help us our son is—Eugene? (Y/n)?” coming behind Sydney were Eugene’s parents.

“What is going on here?” asked Eugene’s father.

“(Y/n)!? Where are you girl you’re supposed to be packing!” soon coming up behind (y/n) from the bushes was her father.  As soon as he saw his daughter with the Sledge’s he sneered out, “What are you two doing?” As both families came closer to see just what was going on, that’s when Eugene spoke up as he wrapped his arm around his future wife.

“Mother, father, Mr. (L/n). (Y/n) and I are getting married.”

“What!?” all three parents shouted in shock.

“That’s right. And we’ll officially be married as soon as Pastor Jacob says…..” (y/n) said firmly as she looked back at the pastor.

“Oh right, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” He stepped aside as he closed his Bible.

“Mrs. (Y/n) Sledge, has a nice ring to it don’t you think?” Eugene said as he cupped his wife’s face.

“Indeed.” The two of them kissed each other finally sealing the deal.

“What are you talking about married!? You both are too young to be married!” Mary Frank scolded as she came between them and pushed Eugene aside.

“Finally something we can agree on.” Sheldon spoke as he now stood beside his daughter. “(Y/n) (m/n) (l/n) you listen to me and you listen good, girl. We’re moving and that’s final. And you have got to stick with your family! So enough of this foolish teenage fantasy and come home!” he grabbed her wrist and began to drag her away.

Finally having enough of her father’s grudge against the Sledges, she broke free of his grip and proclaimed.

“No daddy!”

“No?” her father asked as if he had been punched in the face.

“The Sledges are my family now too. In the eyes of God and the law as Pastor Jacob has said.” Eugene brushed past his mother and stood beside his wife to give her backup.

“You can’t be serious. Are you really choosing to be family with the ones responsible for your mother’s death over your own flesh and blood?!”

“Are you making me choose?” she spoke with a trembled lip as tears filled her eyes.

Her father stood there in shock and everyone around them grew tense.  Could a father really force his daughter to choose who she sides with?

“Yes. I am.” Her father demanded.  Finally hearing that answer broke (y/n)’s heart but she stood her ground as she spoke in a broken voice.

“Then yeah. I guess I am.” Her father’s face showed absolutely betrayal before his eyes grew red and he snapped at her.

“Then I guess I have no daughter anymore.” Without another word he stormed away from the church.

Heartbroken by her father’s words, (y/n) wept out a river of tears.  Eugene held his new wife close to him trying to comfort her, meanwhile Dr. Sledge walked up to the young newlyweds and placed a comforting hand to his new daughter in law’s shoulder.  She looked up at the old physician and he told her.

“You’ve always been like family to us (Y/n). You’ve always had love here with us. Right Mary Frank?” after witnessing what she had seen, she couldn’t deny the fact that ever since they were kids, her son and this young girl were just destined to be together.

“Even though I don’t condone you both being married so young while you’re still in school Eugene, there’s—I cannot stop the bond that it is you both share with each other.” Hearing those words coming from her new mother and father, it repaired some of the damage that (y/n)’s heart had taken.

“Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Sledge.” She thanked them.

“Oh sweet pea, call me mama.” Mary Frank said as she came up and cupped (y/n)’s face.

“And whenever you feel like it, you can call me dad.” Dr. Sledge said with a warm smile.  (Y/n) never felt so grateful to the Sledges, she continued to weep as she now hugged her new parents and they warmly embraced her back.  Welcoming her to the family officially.

*August 29th, 1945 1st Person POV*

I lot has happened in the past few years. Six months after Eugene and I got married, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and America was officially in the war with the Axis Powers.

Eugene wanted to enlist so badly but dad said that his heart murmur prevented him from enlisting, they knew with that he would never get it.  So he always begged his father for frequent checkups every day until one day it was gone. That was the day my life changed forever.

I begged and pleaded with Genie to not go but he kept saying he had to do this.  He’d feel like a failure if he were stuck doing bond trades or collecting scrap metal, while so many men including our dear friend Sid are fighting out in the front lines.

At that point I knew I couldn’t argue with him anymore and so he enlisted.  Of course the night before he left, we made sure to make that night extra special because we both didn’t know if this would be the last time we’d see each other.  We memorized each other’s kiss, scent, and touch (and I knew Eugene was trying much harder than I was since I knew he’d suffer the worse).

I went back to school, got my high school diploma and I’m currently now working as a teacher’s work assistant as well as a part-time librarian at the local library.  I had remained with mom and dad taking care of house as well as Deacon (God rest his little soul) just trying to distract myself from missing Eugene.

It was (for once this past few weeks) a cool Summer’s day.  I was tending to the garden outside planting a few roses, daffodils and of course buttercup flowers but I didn’t expect to suddenly get jumped by two little body masses.

Soon enough I was in the dirt and two 3 year old kids were piled on top of me.  One was a little boy who looked so much like his daddy when I first met him, except he had my hair and eye color, and the other was a girl with the same curly hair I once had as a kid and her daddy’s auburn hair and brown eyes but the rest were my looks.

“We gotcha mommy now say you surrender!” my son proclaimed as he held up his toy gun at me, while my daughter had a couple of sticks, pretending they were a bow and arrow.

“I surrender, you both got me.” I held my arms up in surrender.  They cheered as they got off of me but that’s when I tackled them both to the ground and began tickling them both.

The two of them laughed as they tried to escape my clutches but soon our moment was interrupted by one of the servants, Octavia.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Sledge?” I stopped playing with the kids and the look on her face was—unreadable.

“What is it Octavia?”

“Just come inside (y/n) dear, there’s—someone who you need to see.” Oh god please don’t tell me. Not when the war was finally over do I get the news.

“Mommy, what is it?” asked my son.

“Gene, you and your sister stay with Octavia okay?” I told him as I stood up and brushed the dirt off my dress as best as I could.  

Slowly I walked through the back entrance towards the dining room where I knew mom was at stacking the dishes.  I almost didn’t even want to turn the corner to see an officer in uniform telling us now that Eugene was dead.  Finally I worked up the courage to turn the corner and there my heart stopped.

Standing right there by his mother and father in full Marine uniform, was my Genie.

He slowly walked towards me and I him until we finally met in the middle.  For years I’ve dreamed of this day to come that—now it feels like it is a dream.  He raised his hand to my face and the moment I felt his touch, I knew this couldn’t be a dream.

“You—you’re as beautiful as the day I left buttercup.” At that moment, the tears poured down my face as I felt myself collapsing against him.  Eugene kept me steady as his head rested against mine and he rocked me back and forth.

“You’re back! You came back…..” I wept into his uniform.

“I told you I would.” He whispered to me.

“Mama?” Eugene and I separated from each other to see Octavia bringing in the kids. “Why are you crying?” asked my baby girl. When I looked up at Eugene, his eyes were wide and his body fell tense.

“Genie, I—I didn’t want to share this with you through letter. But—I’d like you to meet two very special people of mine. Kids come here.” Shyly they walked from Octavia up to me and Eugene as we now knelt down to their height.

Our kids soon came up and our daughter hid behind my back while our son fiddled with the ends of my dress as he curled himself around my arm.

“Eugene, these are our kids. The oldest of the twins is our son, Eugene B. Sledge Jr. and our baby girl, Daphne Eliza Sledge. Kids—this……is your daddy. He’s come home to us.” My son looked up at me hesitantly and I nodded to him telling him it was okay to go see him.

Little Gene walked up to his daddy and just stared up at him in both awe but a hint of fear.

“Little Gene, suits him. Guess you managed to convince Sid to not let us name our first boy after him.” Eugene teased at me as he gently ruffled his son’s hair.  Knowing that this strange man in uniform wasn’t going to hurt him, little Gene smiled and immediately embraced his daddy.

Eugene embraced his son and kissed the top of his head and it just made my heart soar at seeing both my boys finally meeting each other and already loving each other.  After giving his son some of his love, he looked behind me to our baby girl who was still shyly trying to hide from him.

“It’s okay sweetie bell. He won’t hurt you.” I assured her.  Slowly but surely, she came out till she stood by my arm and clung onto it just like her brother.

“My, my, my. You—you look exactly like your mother when I first met her. Guess now I’ve got two buttercups.”

“How did you know my name?” Eugene looked at me confused so I explained to him.

“She likes to be called buttercup. Says it sounds more prettier than her real name.”

“Well whatever name you prefer darling, it sounds beautiful. Just like your mother, and just like you.” he gently booped his daughter’s button nose which made her giggle and finally loosen up around her daddy. Before long she too cuddled into her daddy’s chest and he gave her the same love and affection he gave his son.

Seeing him hold our two kids just—finally felt right. I always knew Gene would be a natural dad, and even now after being through such hell for the past 3 years, he can finally have some peace knowing his family has now grown.

The rest of the day it was just the four of us bonding and getting to know each other.

Of course I knew life wouldn’t be the same as it was before.  For example the nightmares.  Every night Eugene would suffer terrible and horrifying nightmares.  Some nights I ended up staying awake all night just to make sure he didn’t suffer alone.

There wasn’t much I could do except to just assure him that he wasn’t there anymore and that he was home.  Sometimes the kids would ask him why they would hear their daddy scream and cry but I told them to not ask him such questions yet.

After Eugene had returned with his dad from the dove hunting, I could see from the tearstains on his face and the slight red in his eyes that it didn’t go so well and that he had suffered flashbacks (I still remember when—well my old father still suffered from them night after night).

So Eugene and I, along with the kids decided to head out to Genie and is old favorite spot out in the fields.  He and I were lying on our backs cuddled close to each other while the kids went off to pick wildflowers.

“How long till you found out about them?” he asked me.  I looked up at him before turning towards our kids.

“A couple weeks after you left for bootcamp. I just felt so sick till dad checked me out and that’s when it was confirmed that I was pregnant. I would’ve mentioned it but—something like that can’t be said through letters.”

“They’re beautiful though. Just like you.” he said as I felt his nose bury itself into my neck.

“And you.”

“Mama! Daddy!” soon our kids came running up to us and Buttercup held up a buttercup flower. “Look what I found!”

“Yes sweetheart, you found the flower you’re named after. Did you know of a legend that goes with this flower?” she shook her head no.  I took hold of the buttercup and told her, “If you hold a buttercup under your chin, it’ll make it glow. See how it works on me?” both my children looked at me in pure awe.

“Let me try! Let me try!” Little Gene called out as he reached out to take the flower.  He took it and held it under his chin asking repeatedly if it was working. When Buttercup shook her head, Little Gene pouted, god he really was just like his daddy.

“No worries little Gene. It never worked on me either when I was your age, see?” his daddy said as he held the flower under his chin.

“Can I try it next daddy?” asked Buttercup. Gene nodded and held the flower under his daughter’s chin and low and behold, it worked on her.  He smiled as he shook his head softly scoffing.

“Does it work?” she asked him.

“It sure does Buttercup. Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, huh (n/n)?” I smiled as he picked up his daughter and began kissing her all over her cheek making her giggle.

“Mommy can you sing for us?” asked little Gene as he crawled his way into my lap.

“What would you like me to sing?”

“The catchy song!” The kids both proclaimed. I smiled and said.

“Okay. But you both know I don’t have the guitar with me to play it.”

“Please mommy!” they both gave me the puppy dog eyes they inherited from their father.

“I swear Eugene this trick came from you.”

“Uhh excuse me? You’ve done the puppy dog eye trick on me way longer than I have. Don’t you put this on just me.” Eugene said trying to point the blame on me.  I scoffed that’s when Little Gene said.

“Mommy sing for us now!”

“Now, now Little Gene, that’s not the way to get something from your mother or from anyone. If you want something you ask politely.” Eugene gently scolded his son.  Little Gene nodded and apologized to me.  I told him it was fine and that’s when I began singing the song that I had made for Eugene what felt like an eternity ago, which now became the kids’ favorite song.

Eugene set our baby girl down and laid his head across my lap while I stroked through his auburn hair as well as down his face. And every time my fingers came close to his lips, he would pucker them out and give each of my fingers or the back of my hand a kiss.  The kids all lay down close to us with my boy laying his head near my knee while our baby girl cuddled herself tight against her daddy’s side, like a little kitten.

After I finished the song, Eugene and I thought it best to head back home and put these kids down for their nap.  I grabbed our son while Eugene held our baby girl, both our kids clung onto us once they knew we had hold of them.  Eugene and I looked at each other before leaning in and giving each other a soft kiss before heading back to the house.

[queenxxxsupreme]

Can i request a Tony Stark angst imagine when you both are childhood friends but you never admit that you are head over heels to him? You’ve seen him with a lot of girls until you both are adults and he finally realizing it was always you all along?💕 your writing is amazing!

You had just left work when you saw the article. In big, bold letters at the top of your phone screen read ‘Stark Industries C.E.O. calls it quits with the Iron Man.’ You stopped in your tracks in the middle of the parking lot, furrowing your brows as you read through the article.

A car honked its horn, scaring you. You jumped and got out of the way so it could pass. You decided to go to your car to finish the article but as you were sitting down in the front seat, your phone rang. It was Tony Stark, your best friend since grade school. 

“Hey, Tony.” You answered the call. “It’s been a while since I heard from you. I was, um, I was just thinking about you. Thought about giving you a call to check on you.”

“That’s sweet of you, Y/N.” His voice was raspy and quiet. “Have you heard?”

“About you and Pepper?”

“Mhmm.”

“I just saw it.” You murmured, looking down at the steering wheel. 

“She left me three days ago. Took all her shit. Left her ring on the kitchen sink.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner, Tony?”

“Didn’t want to bother you.”

“You know that’s bullshit, Tony. You never bother me. You’re my best friend.”

“Yeah, but you’ve got your own life. You don’t need to be worrying about me.”

“Oh, sweetie, I always worry about you.” You chuckled softly. 

“I just, erm, I just wanted to see if you were busy tonight. I need a distraction and a Star Wars marathon and greasy pizza sound like a good idea.”

“I’ll bring the pizza.”

“You’re the best, Y/N. Drive safe.”

“See you later.”

You ended the call and stared at your phone screen for a moment. 

You felt sorry for the man. He sounded so broken and lost.

But a part of you couldn’t help feeling like maybe this was your chance. Maybe this was the part where you finally swoop in and save the day. Maybe he’d suddenly fall in love with you. 

You shook your head and almost laughed at how stupid your thoughts were. He wasn’t in love with you. He loved you, sure, but you were just a friend. You always had been just a friend. For as long as you could remember, friends were all you ever were. 

You were absolutely head over heels for the man. It had been that way since high school. He was charming, intelligent, and funny. He had this ability to make you forget all your worries just by flashing you with a smile and saying something witty. 

You let out a sigh, rubbing your forehead.

***

“Just make sure you keep an eye on him, Y/N. If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to text me.”

“I’ve got it under control, Rhodey.” You held the phone between your shoulder and ear as you held three pizzas in your arms. The elevator doors opened on the living room floor of the Avengers Tower and you stepped out. It was surprisingly empty but the television was on. “This isn’t the first time I’ve handled Tony Stark after a nasty breakup.”

“This one’s different, Y/N. It’s not just a breakup. Pepper’s already filed for a divorce.”

“Shit.” You placed the pizzas on the bar and picked up your phone. “What did he do?”

“It was a build up of a lot of things. You know he hasn’t been the same since Rogers decided to go rogue. He just got to be too much. The stress was too much. I don’t blame her, to be completely honest.”

You stayed quiet. You knew Tony was difficult. You’d experienced it first hand numerous times throughout your life. But you knew he never meant any ill-intent. He just struggled with many things. From a shit childhood to the traumas he had endured while being Iron Man, he often struggled to keep his head above water. He always seemed like he was on the verge of drowning. 

“I’ve got to go, Y/N. But you have my number.”

“Thanks, Rhodey.” You smiled softly then hung up.

“Was he calling you to make sure you’d babysit me?” 

You turned to see Tony walking out of the elevator. He was in a pair of gray sweatpants and a black AC/DC shirt. 

“You know how he worries.”

“He’s just like his mom.” Tony shook his head, muttering under his breath as he approached you. “Worries about every little thing.”

“He’s got a right to worry about you.” You opened your arms to embrace him in a hug. You squeezed him tight, inhaling his scent. “How are you, Tony?”

“Better now that you’re here.” 

Hearing those words made your heart soar. You bit back a smile as you pulled away from him and tucked a few pieces of hair behind your ear. 

“What movie are we going to start with?”

“A New Hope. Duh.” He rolled his eyes at you. “Let’s take the pizza up to my room. God only knows who might wander through here and I don’t want to be around people.”

“Does your team know?” You grabbed a pizza while Tony took the other two boxes. 

“Yeah. Just don’t wanna talk about it.”

***

You placed the empty plate on the stand next to Tony’s bed. He was laying across the bed behind you on his side propped up on one elbow. You two had been silent since the movie started. You wanted to ask him how things were, if he was really as okay as he tried to let on. 

You waited until the movie was over to try to get him to talk.

“How long have we been friends, Tony?” You asked him quietly, turning your head to look at him. 

“Hell, I can’t keep track anymore.” He wiped his fingers off on a napkin. His brown eyes flickered to the ceiling as he thought. “We met in ‘78.”

“Damn.” You shook your head, bringing your eyes down to your hands. “It doesn’t seem all that long ago.”

“Thirty-eight years.” He nodded. “Why do you ask?”

“Just…. I just feel like we take advantage of that, you know?” You leaned back against his legs. “We don’t hang out much anymore like we used to.”

“We aren’t kids anymore, babe.” He spoke quietly. Your heart raced at the pet name. He called you ‘babe’ since high school. Sometimes it would be ‘baby’ but usually it was just babe. It was meant to be lighthearted and tender, but it always felt like a knife to the chest knowing he’d never mean it in an intimate way. “We’ve both got jobs and other priorities.”

“Other priorities.” You repeated, just thinking out loud.

“I didn’t mean it in the shitty way, Y/N. I meant as in I have the team and Pepper. That was hard enough to balance and you can see how it turned out. And you, you had your research and that guy. What the hell is his name?”

“Derek.” You answered with a little smile. “His name was Derek.”

“Was?” Tony furrowed his brows together as he looked down at you.

“Yep. We, um, we broke up three months ago.” You nodded your head, meeting his gaze. 

“Three months ago? Why the hell didn’t you tell me, Y/N?” Tony sat up and folded his legs so he sat criss cross. 

“We had other priorities.” You answered with a tight smile. 

“Oh come on, Y/N.” Tony rolled his eyes at you. 

“It was right around the time that you had that shit with Captain Rogers going on. You had other things to worry about. My shitty excuse of a love life isn’t a priority.” 

Tony watched you for a few moments but you couldn’t hold his gaze. Your eyes dropped down to your hands. 

“What happened with you two?” He spoke softly. 

“I, um, I walked in on him one too many times with another woman.” You messed with your nails. 

“You deserve better than that, babe.” Tony moved to hug you, pulling you into his arms. You accepted, wrapping your arms around his torso. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Your words were muffled into his chest. 

Sometime during the Empire Strikes Back, the two of you stopped paying attention to the movie and instead chose to talk. You were laying on your side facing Tony. He was on his back staring at the ceiling with one hand behind his head. 

“I remember way back when…. we made a pact, didn’t we?” He turned his head to face you.

“What?” You furrowed your eyebrows together. 

“I think it was in eighth grade. You were over at my place and it was…. some ungodly hour. We said that if we weren’t married by thirty, we’d marry each other.”

You brought your hand up to cover your face. 

“That ship has sailed, Tony.” You laughed. “We’re over ten years past when we were thirty.”

“Yeah.” He looked back to the ceiling, a smile dancing on his lips. “Just thought it was…. it was funny how we thought back then. We thought everything would be easy.”

You said nothing and instead, chose to watch him. 

“It feels like a million years ago.” He sighed. “So much has happened.”

“That’s life.” You sighed gently. 

Again, you guys stopped chatting and finished the movie. However, once Return of the Jedi was on, you both somehow found a topic to talk about. 

You were settled against the headboard of the bed while he had his head in your lap turned. He was on his side facing the tv so he could watch the movie. You were brushing your fingers through his graying hair just to keep your hand occupied. 

“You ever think you let someone go that you thought was your forever?” He turned his head to look up at you. You tilted your head down a little, gazing at him silently for a few moments. 

“I don’t know.” You wanted to tell him, to confess to him that he was the one you thought you could spend the rest of your life with. But you thought he was talking about Pepper. He would probably end up going back to her in a few days after everything settled down. 

He turned his head back to the movie and silence fell between you two again. 

***

Tony watched as the sun began to peak over the horizon. He was sitting on the edge of his bed with his back to you, hunched over with his elbows on his knees. You had fallen asleep sometime around 4a.m. so Tony didn’t start another movie, afraid to wake you up. 

He’d been thinking and thinking. He missed Pepper but he knew she wasn’t coming back. She was done with him, with his antics. 

You shifted around on the bed. He looked over his shoulder to make sure you were okay. Your hands were folded underneath your head and your knees were bent just slightly. 

Tony smiled softly at the sight of you peaceful and resting. It had been far too long since he hung out with you. You had this ability to comfort him even when you did absolutely nothing. You could just be there and he could feel the constant anxiety and worry in his stomach fade away. 

It dawned on him then that you had been the one thing in his life that never changed. You were always there for him through thick and thin. 

When you heard about what happened in New York back in 2012, you were quick to call Tony and check on him. You were out of the country for your work but you made an effort to call him every day to make sure he was getting better after the alien attack on the city. 

When Tony had doubts about his work due to what had happened with Ultron, you were the first person he called. You ensure him that his intentions were good and that he never meant to cause destruction. He always tried to do what was best and sometimes that’s all one person could do.

You stirred in your sleep and mumbled Tony’s name sleepily. It was almost like you knew he was thinking too hard. 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Your eyes were only opened a little bit before you closed them and stuffed your face into the pillows. 

“Just thinking.” He hummed softly, a little smile crossing his lips. “You awake, babe?”

“I can be.” You brought your hands up to rub your face as you rolled over on to your back. Once the sleep was cleared from your eyes, you looked at him. “What’s up?”

Tony looked down at his hands, shaking his head softly.

“I just…. I love you, you know that right?”

He was quiet and soft. You sat up, brushing your hair out of your face. 

“Is everything okay, Tony?” You furrowed your brows.

“Yeah, yeah.” He nodded his head. “Just…. Just thinking.”

“About what?” You tilted your head to the side just a little.

“Sorta everything.” He turned his head to look at you. “I think I take you for granted sometimes.”

You didn’t say anything, unsure of where he was going with this. 

“You’ve always been there for me. You’re always by my side even when you aren’t here.”

“That’s what I’m supposed to do. You’re my-You’re my best friend, Tony.” You shrugged your shoulders softly. “I care about you.”

“You’re so good to me.” He sighed out, running a hand over his face. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Don’t say that.” You put your hand on his arm. “You deserve to be just as happy as the next person.”

Tony stayed quiet for a few moments. 

“I’ve been so blind, so stupid.” He stood to his feet and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “I couldn’t see it all along but it was right in front of me.”

“What was, Tony?” You were starting to worry about him. What was he talking about? Had he finally hit his limit?

“You.” He turned to face you, his eyes meeting yours. “It’s always been you, Y/N. You’re always there for me. You’re the one person I can count on twenty-four seven.”

You could hear your heart beating slowly in your ears. Your lips parted but no sound came out.

“When you’re around Y/N, it’s like-like I can finally breathe.” He shook his head, putting one hand on his chest. “When you’re gone, the anxiety and-and the fears and worries-They all come flooding back and I’m drowning, Y/N.” His voice cracked. 

You pushed the blanket off of your body and crossed the bed, motioning for him to come to you. While you were on your knees on the edge of the bed, Tony moved towards you. You silently wrapped your arms around him and held the back of his head with one tender hand.

“I’m here, Tony.” You murmured softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Though you were excited and sort of confused, you knew he needed to calm down. He was on the verge of either making himself pass out from his nerves or having a panic attack.

“Thank you, Y/N.” He breathed out, closing his eyes as he hugged you tightly. 

You couldn’t help but smile. Was this some sort of dream or was this real? 

You quickly realized that what was happening was indeed real. Tony was squeezing you tight enough to make breathing difficult.

“Tony, you’ve got to loosen your grip just a little.” You urged, giggling softly. “You’re squeezing me to death.”

He pulled away from you and brought his hands up to cradle your face. The way he looked down at you like you were some sort of exquisite, expensive painting made you melt. 

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Y/N.” He whispered. 

Your smile only grew as he leaned down to kiss you tentatively. It was quick but soft and sweet. He was just testing the waters. He pulled away and brought one hand down to rub your side. You bit your bottom lip, feeling your cheeks flush.

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve felt something for you.” You admitted, your hand brushing along his arm. 

“You’re kidding.” His smile grew, ecstatic that you felt the same way. 

“No, I’m not.” You laughed a little. 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” He drew his brows together. 

“Because I didn’t want to risk losing you.” You shrugged your shoulders. “I’d rather have you as a friend then nothing at all. I didn’t want to make Pepper hate me or not want me around either. You could imagine how much trouble it would’ve caused.”

He sighed gently then pulled you back in for a hug. 

“Well, we don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

With your ear pressed to his chest, you could hear his steady heartbeat. You closed your eyes and let out a soft breath, a smile still resting on your lips.

Taglist: @groovyenby @tone-stark @malena-stark @wayward-dream @trenchcoatedwings @spoopy3000 @jennylovelyheart @romancebibliophilia

[oohfluffy]

TIHM Ch.2 | BBH

Group: EXO

Member: Byun Baekhyun

Theme: Angst | Fluff | Rated M | University!AU | Football!AU

Word Count: 1,818

chapter 2

The final bell rang throughout the room, signalling the end of the last subject for the day. However, your professor seems to have a different schedule as he continued discussing the human anatomy all over again. You stared at his powerpoint presentation, trying to keep awake and take notes of what he was saying.

You can hear some of your schoolmates already buzzing and getting ready to pack their things. After ten minutes, your professor finally ended his lecture, but not before leaving a hundred pages of lessons to review for a short quiz on the next meeting. You just let out a sigh as you hear groans of complaints among your schoolmates.

"Do you guys wanna hang out?" You hear someone ask around. "I hear that there is a newly opened pizza place near the bookstore by the street!"

"Yeah! I want to go!"

"I'm in for the food!"

"As long as Irene would go, I will too!"

You didn't bother looking at the crowd forming at the back of the room, and continued packing your things. You never went to any group gatherings anyway, not that they made efforts to invite you in any. You were invisible in their eyes. 

You stood up from your seat and quickly went out of the room without a sound. It was just half of the first week of your 3rd year college life, and it was the same as ever. As soon as you saw the lockers by the hallway, you brought out your key. Since it was nearing weekend, you'll start bringing home your books to read.

"You skipped practice on the last two days, man!" 

"I was busy—" 

"Busy with what?! What is more important than practice?!"

"Sex, man. I'm betting he did—"

"Shut up, Sehun." 

That was the last thing you heard before your locker door hit you in the face.

You groaned in pain as you pushed the small locker door away from your sight, looking down at your feet. You cursed in your mind while your hand caressed your reddening cheek. 

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry!" You felt a hand touching your shoulder, urging you to turn around. You just waved your other hand without bothering to look back at the person. "I'm so sorry, miss. I-I wasn't looking where I was going—"

"It's okay." You said, just so he will stop talking to you. You flinched as you became aware of his warm slender fingers on top of your shoulder. You moved away from him, closing your locker quickly after getting your books. You locked your locker and silently nodded your head at his direction, being respectful enough to acknowledge his presence and apology.

You held onto your left cheek with a frown as you waited for the bus in the waiting shed. You heard noisy teenagers hanging around the shed, making your eyebrow furrow in annoyance. Your eyes couldn't stop looking at them as you waited. 

You saw how much fun they were having.  

Their smiles, laughs, and teasings that they share within their circle of friends, you kind of envy their bond. You looked away as you gripped on the straps of your backpack tighter. 

How fun.

"I'm home." You said as you entered your apartment. You hear the radio's noise in the kitchen, making you smile. You quickly placed your shoes on the rack, and running to the kitchen. As you saw your roommate by the stove, you grinned in delight.

"My girl is home!" She exclaimed as she noticed your presence by the counter. She's in her baby blue apron with her hair in a messy bun. 

"Jiwon-ah." You greeted her as you sat on the tall stool chair by the kitchen island. "You got out of campus early today, huh?"

"Yep! Our prof for the last class was absent, and she just sent us an email for the upcoming quiz." Jiwon shrugged as she looked at the ramen she was cooking. When you met her two years ago, you didn't expect she will be a bubbly person. She's so pretty to the point you got intimidated of her dashing looks. You were not prepared to have someone bright as her to be your roommate in college. "I cannot accept the fact that we're having quizzes in the first week!"

But she was more than her looks. She was talkative, never letting you hear a pin dropping on the floor with her loud voice. She was also outgoing, becoming friends with people from different courses. You won't be surprised if she knows everyone in the campus. Even Irene's group knows her despite being in a different building.

"Me too." You frowned as you remember the hundred pages you need to read this weekend. You might start reading them later if there are no disturbances like Jiwon's loud voice. You were so deep into your thoughts that you didn't notice Jiwon was done cooking and was already beside you as she place a bowl of ramen in front of you. 

"Ooh, what the hell happened to your cheek, girl?" She pointed at your cheek, where a small bruise was forming. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion before realizing that that locker door has probably damaged your face more than you thought it did. "Did someone punch you?!"

"No, no. It's an accident." You placed your hand on your cheek and tried pressing it, only to grunt in pain. "Damn, that locker door is harder than it seems."

"What? Someone hit you with a locker door?!"

"It's an accident, Jiwon." You shook your head as you sighed, picking up the chopsticks on your bowl to start eating. "Thanks for cooking ramen."

"Who was it?" She continued questioning you, picking her chopsticks up as well. "Did that person apologize?"

"I don't know who was it. Yes, he did." 

"Well, that's good. If he didn't, I would have to find him and kick him where it hurts the most." Jiwon smirked as she munched on her noodles. You just chuckled at her protectiveness and ignored her incoming threats to anyone who tries to hurt her roommate. "I don't like how your batchmates do not want to get close to you. Like you're one of the best people I've ever met, and they're just treating you as an invisible woman."

You felt better chatting with your best friend slash roommate. She was the only one who appreciated you, and treated you as her own sister. She may be clingy most of the time, but she makes you feel accepted in this new environment you are living in.

"Oh! I forgot to ask you if you're interested in working part-time in my aunt's new coffee shop?" 

Your eyes widened as you turned to her, full of excitement and curiosity. Jiwon glanced at you and laughed as she shook her head. 

"Why did I even ask, you love coffee." She said with a smile, making you nod in agreement.

"I would love to work in a coffee shop, Jiwon!" You responded after you slurped down the soup from your bowl. You worked at the library last year, until you got too busy with school and ended up quitting in the summer. "I was about to seek for part-time jobs around the campus. Thank goodness you asked me."

"Welp, I'm your fairy godmother! It's my responsibility to make your life easier!" 

You spent the whole night listening to your best friend's stories and gossips, which you aren't really interested but chose to listen. You enjoyed her company anyway. You looked at your biology book resting on the table in front of you, deciding that you can start reading tomorrow.

"Are you going on Friday?" Jiwon asked you, making you look back at her in confusion. She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Of course you don't know about the first football game of the term!"

"Oh, that. What?"

"You're not going as usual? Oh come on! Come with me on Friday!" She pouted while shaking your arm in persuasion. "I'll introduce you to nicer people!"

"I've met your friends, you know. They're not that interested to be—"

"Not Krystal and her entourage! I said nicer people!" She emphasized, her eyes widening as if to prove a point. "I'm certain you will like them!"

"Will they like me though?" You rebutted her, raising your eyebrow. Jiwon huffed, shoulders deflating in defeat. She looks so sad that you almost gave in her favor.

"I'll buy you two corn dogs, extra large fries, and mocha frappe if you go—"

"I will go." You said in a heartbeat as you heard food involved in the deal. "You should have said earlier that you'll provide those."

"You bitch." She laughed as she pinched your cheek. "EXO will be playing, so we need to get there as early as possible or else we won't find any seats."

"EXO?" You mumbled as you tried remembering what or who was that. You just remember hearing the name a year ago when the music festival arrived. 

"You don't know them too?!" Your best friend shrieked as she looked at you in disbelief for the nth time tonight. "You've been in the university for two damn years and you don't know them?!"

"Stop screaming, our neighbors will totally report us tomorrow." You rolled your eyes at her. "I've heard of them before, I just can't recall who are they."

Jiwon just sighed in dismay as she leaned her back on the bean bag. You looked at her in expectation, waiting for her long ass explanation. And that is what you get.

"EXO is a group of hot guys, coming from the Engineering, Advertising, Art, and Music departments. Most of them are scholars, and not only they are intelligent, they are also talented. Some participates in dance competitions internationally, and some in band festivals. If not performing arts, intellectual competitions are what they join into!" Jiwon narrated like a storyteller, hands going up in the air as she enthusiastically emphasize her admiration to the said people.

You nodded as you listened to her introduction. Sounds like a popular group.

"They also represent our university's football team!" She exclaimed excitedly, looking at you with a smile. "That's why they are so well-known everywhere. They are just so amazing!"

"I see." You replied to her long explanation, with a serious face as if you were indeed interested in the so-called group of hot guys. 

"That's all you can say?" 

You shrugged at her dismayed question. She scoffed at your indifference. 

"Well, we still need to get on the field real early!"

"Then you need to buy my food as soon as you get out of your class then." You smiled innocently at her frowning face. "I'll head to the field as early as I can and save us seats."

"Hmp, fine!"

You are so looking forward to that most anticipated game.

Really.

—

♫ Ch. 3

[preface2adreamplay]

Under Your Spell (Chapter 27) - I Keep On Biting Til I Feel It

Summary: A Jared Padalecki/ OFC/ Oscar Isaac fiction.

Stef makes a phone call she didn’t think she’d make.

Married Jared! Single Oscar!

Chapter warnings: Angst, swearing, masturbaton.

Chapter WC: 2,450

Spending the weekend with Darius had been fun. They spent a little time at her mom’s graveside, then drank a few vodka’s in her memory at a bar downtown. 

It was the first time in a few years that they had one on one time. Stef could feel herself relaxing out of ‘mother mode’. They were sitting outside of the airport when Darius brought up Jared, not for the first time that weekend.

‘You don’t like him?’ Stef asked, sadly.

‘I do like him. He’s cool and he seems really into you. But, I dunno mom, I’d hate to see you hurt again.’

Stef put her hands into her lap, looking at people rushing in and out of their cars, trying to avoid the snow fall.

‘I hate that you remember the first time.’

‘I barely remember it, but you were pissed at dad for years.’

Stef snorted, half in amusement, remembering. 

‘I really didn’t let him forget it, did I?’

‘No,’ Darius’s voice, deeper than his fathers, sounded unusually snippy. 

‘I agree with that to a certain point, but.’ he hesitated, watching his mothers face. ‘Did you ever ask dad what actually happened?’

Stef whipped her head around to look him in the eyes, ‘I was there, Darius, I saw. That was enough.’

Darius huffed and looked out the window.

‘If Tanya did that to you, would you forgive her? Stef rolled her eyes and continued ‘actually, I don’t wanna have this conversation. I don’t want to argue with you before you go back to school.’

‘I’d at least hear her out.’ Darius regarded his mother for a moment and shrugged, he had said his piece. 

‘Don’t give me that mom look,’ He drew the corners of his mouth up into that cheeky smile she loved so much.

‘Give your mom a hug and don’t give her a headache, please?’ 

Darius got out of the car and walked to her side, grabbing her into a bear hug. 

‘Thanks for coming to see me baby boy.’ 

‘Take care of yourself, mom.’ 

Darius looked back over his shoulder as he walked into Departures. ‘I’ll kick his ass if he hurts you!’

***

Stef sat in her car, deciding she would text Claire and see how she was doing. 

Stef: Hey how did the weekend go? Darius surprised me and came to visit, I just dropped him at the airport.

It took only a few minutes to get a reply.

Claire: that’s so sweet! did Oscar come too?

Stef: Nah, he hurt himself on set, it was just my boy.

Claire: Poor Oscar. I’ll be back on Friday, so we can hang or go for food or drinks. Whatevs.

Stef smiled at the phone, tears threatening. Claire always remembered the upcoming weekend was a bad one. Each passing year, Stef would get less sad about her mothers passing and somehow that did make her sad, but in a different way. Claire was a great friend, albeit an unpredictable whirlwind of craziness and love. 

Stef was grounded and quiet where Claire was a leaf tossed in the changing directions of a gale on an island in the Atlantic. 

They complimented each other perfectly.

Stef: Perfect. tell Rich hey from me. xx

Claire had gone down to meet Richards family. Stef didn’t recall that ever happening before. The thoughts of it ignited excitement for her friend. Finally.

‘Ok, time for some music to calm me down.’ Stef poked around at her playlist until the familiar sound of Devin Townsend’s ‘Kingdom’ came onto her speakers. Hitting the road back home she could only think about what Darius had said about hearing his girlfriend out if she tried to explain why she kissed someone else. Stef knew she never let Oscar explain, she was too angry, upset, humiliated. 

Shaking the thoughts from her mind as she pulled up outside the house, she swallowed her pride and called Oscar.

His voice was muffled when he answered.

‘Hello?’

‘Shit, can you hear me?’

‘My name is not shit.’

Stef rolled her eyes.

‘I know you’re rolling your eyes,’ his familiar chuckle warmed her insides a little.

‘Am not.’

‘I gotta tell you, I was so surprised when I saw you were calling me.’

‘Why?’

‘Coz you never call me.’

Stef scoffed, ‘I do!’

‘Nah, you don’t, tell me, when was the last time you called me.’

Stef closed the door behind her. Brendan was slinking down the stairs, watching her with his green eyes narrowed. 

‘It’s Oscar!’ Stef declared. The cat stopped at the end of the stairs and looked at her expectantly.

‘Who are you talking to?’

‘Brendan.’ Stef was rubbing the soft fur under his chin, cooing at him as if he were baby. 

Oscar was laughing again. ‘I miss that crazy cat.’

‘He has calmed down a lot now. Usually if he misbehaves, I tell him he will have to go see Aunt Claire for a weekend.’

‘I imagine a weekend at Claire’s would be a lot more fun than you think.’

Stef hmmed a response, not really listening to him while she took off her coat one-handed.

‘You ok, Stef?’

‘Yeah, all good. Why?’

‘Not to keep at it, but you called me and you never call me. Is something up?’

‘Nooooo,’ Stef felt a little caught out, ‘I just wanted to see how you were, your foot, I mean.’

‘Just my foot?’ Oscar was biting back a giggle. 

‘Well, you hurt it!’

‘The rest of me can go fuck itself.’

Stef stopped dead in the middle of the living room and threw her head back, closing her eyes. ‘I could use a massage.’

‘You are so strange, you know that?’

‘Am not!’

Oscar was in a good mood, despite being in pain.

‘So what’s up with the foot? Darius said you hurt it in a stunt or something?’

‘Yep, I was doing a really cool and impressive stunt, and whatever way I landed, I twisted my ankle little.’

‘Oh, that sounds awful. I can’t wait to see the stunt that took you out.’ Stef laughed.

‘Ha ha, Stef. You’re all heart.’

‘Do you think you’ll live?’

‘I might, if only to see your face one more time.’

‘Oh fuck, you’re not allowed to do any more period dramas.’ 

‘I have help here anyway, I’m good,’ he said, exerting himself loudly as he shifted off the bed.

‘Who’s there?’

‘No one....I got a crutch.’

‘Oh.’

‘You sound like a crazy ex-girlfriend.’

‘I am.’

There was silence between them for a moment before Stef remembered why she called.

‘Thank you for getting Darius to visit me. That was a nice surprise.’

‘You’re welcome. He wanted to do it since last January, but he didn’t tell me in time and there were no flights.’

‘He’s so sweet.’

‘Yeah, he gets that from me.’ Oscar said, without missing a beat.

Stef sighed loudly into the phone. ‘Ouch,’ Stef’s hip brushed against dining table, pulling her jeans down with her free hand she inspected the large finger sized bruises there.

‘Earth to Stef, what’s up?’

‘I have a bruise on my hip, hurts like a motherfucker.’

‘Where did you get that?’ Stef caught herself before she tumbled out the words ‘Jared’s hands were holding me still while he fucked me hard, the way I like it.’

‘Walking into this dining table too often.’

‘You should move it.’

‘Good idea, come up here and help me rearrange my house so I don’t keep running into things.’ 

‘I’ll sit on the sofa and point to things with my crutch. You can care for me while I recover.’

Stef bit her lip, trying to imagine the scene. ‘I don’t know if I’d be a caring enough nurse to get you back on your feet.’

‘I disagree, I’ve seen you care for your mom and you raised a child. But I agree, you may not take care of me the same way.’

‘You make me sound mean, I was trying to be funny.’ Stef wiggled her fingers under the tap, there was plenty of hot water there for a bath. That may be just what she needed. Bubbles and wine. Why not, she was alone and needed to think. 

‘Definitely not mean. You are anything but mean.’

‘I dunno, maybe I am a horrible person,’ she said softly, more-so to herself than Oscar.

‘What the hell? There’s definitely something up with you Stef. You’re calling me, walking into furniture and telling me you’re a bad person. Do I have to come up there and tell you all the reasons why you’re great, coz you’re not listening to me now.’

‘Gonna hobble up?’

Oscar laughed. ‘I hear water. You’re either running a bath or having an almighty piss.’

‘Oscar!’ she scolded, ‘a lady passes water, we don’t piss.’

‘No matter how many times i ask you not to pee while you’re on the phone to me, you still do it.’

‘I know you too long to be shy around you.’

‘As long as it stays at number 1 and doesn’t drift into the number 2 zone. I would rather stay where I am if that’s what is the future offer.’

‘What are you rambling about?’ Stef poured a generous amount of bubble bath into the running water, enjoying the sight of it frothing furiously. It was gold and glittery. The glitter didn’t stick but it gave her a golden sheen that looked a little like a tan, depending on the light. 

‘Ok thanks for telling me about your bubble bath.’

Stef gulped, did she actually say that out loud?

‘I would actually love a bubble bath right now, but if I got in, I couldn’t get back out. I need a nurse. Will you wash me, Stef?’

‘I would wash you and leave you sitting in the cold bath water until you wrinkle up like a raisin.’

‘Woah, I’m glad we stayed friends.’

Stef cleared her throat, ‘so I was talking to Darius when I dropped him at the airport.’

‘He get going ok?’

‘I haven’t heard, I assume he got the flight. Anyway, he was a bit annoyed, well, maybe annoyed is not a good word, maybe more disapproving of how you and I dealt with things.’ Oh this was going to be happening now, why did the words keep coming out of her mouth?

‘What things?’

‘You know what I’m talking about,’ Stef lowered her voice, hoping she wouldn’t have to hear this conversation.

‘He brings it up sometimes with me.’

‘I understand why he brought it up when he was a kid, hoping his parent’s would fall in love again and get back together, but why is he brining it all up now?’

‘Would it be something to do with him meeting your...boyfriend.’

‘So you heard. I didn’t know he was coming up, if I did I wouldn’t have invited Jared over.’

‘He high tailed it out of there, Darius said.’

‘Kinda.’

She couldn’t see Oscar shaking his head. 

‘You ok?’ 

‘I’m fine, just feel like my head is spinning around after this weekend. I don’t want to have any more arguments, maybe I shouldn’t have brought this up.’

‘What do you want to know?’

The question was on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t want to ask, did she?

There was silence between them again, she hated this. 

‘Stef?’

‘Nothing, I don’t want to know anything.’

Oscar sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. ‘I don’t think he’s entirely comfortable with you having an affair with a married man, no, don’t interrupt,’ he started, hearing Stef grumble on her end of the line. ‘The only reason is he doesn’t want to see your name dragged through the mud, that’s all. He wants you to be happy. People are dicks, you know that. Neither of us want to see you hurt by the fall out.’

Fall out, yes, that’s what was coming. She could feel it.

 ‘People should mind their own business.’

‘You’d think! But they don’t. They want to tear us to shreds over shit they don’t understand. You love him?’

‘Yeah,’ there, she admitted it.

‘Then fuck everyone else and what they have to say. Just don’t get caught with him or tell anyone whats going on.’

‘That’s conflicting information, Oscar.’

‘Well, that’s how it’s gotta be when you love someone you know you shouldn’t love.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Does that help?’ Oscar was fidgeting, she could hear him.

‘Yep. Thanks.’

‘You don’t sound convinced.’

‘I’m stripping so I can get into the bath.’

‘Effie!!’ His voice, high pitched and exasperated tone made her laugh. 

‘I’m kidding. Not as if you haven’t seen it all anyway.’

‘Yes, but we are not on video call and that’s not fair.’

‘Stop! Anyway, what’s your plan for the day?’

‘Well, I got some nice photos I’m gonna look at while I’m incapacitated.’

‘Which photos?’ Stef dipped her hand into the hot water, perfect temperature, she would be red as a lobster in there.

‘Just some more old photos I found in the loft. Plenty of you and the band. Baby photos. Some of you on the beach.’

Stef gasped, ‘shiiiiiit, I forgot about those. Can you skip past them?’

‘You know, maybe I should, you were only about 17 in them.’

‘No, I was 18. It was my eighteenth birthday.’

‘Huh,’ Oscar decided, ‘well you’re legal in them, bonus.’

‘I’m ending this phone call,’ Stef laughed. ‘Please don’t sell those photos to the press.’

‘Your nudes would make me a rich man, Effie!’

‘Goodbye, Oscar!’

‘Goodbye, love.’ 

Dipping into the water, Stef felt the stress lifting a little. Silence drifted into the space around her, the whorls of scented steam shielding her from the world. 

Her fingers, as they always seemed to do these days, ran down her stomach, stopping when they reached between her legs.

That day at the beach had been sexy as fuck, although she had forgotten about it almost completely. 

Oscar had taken pictures of her, with her permission. They had been joking about in the dunes having left their son with his grandparents. After posing for a few shots, Stef decided to be daring and took off her bikini. There was no one around, why not?

It was only afterwards she realised how many photos Oscar had taken. They had looked back on the once after. It was hot. At least Oscar thought so. That was the only time she had ever allowed anyone to take her photo while she was naked. 

The thoughts of him looking at them now had her fingers dipping inside herself. Her orgasm coming faster than ever before. ‘Goddamn it, Oscar.’ Stef sank lower into the water. 

[queenofthearchitect]

How could you 2/?

This was requested by @darkxhuntress she allways keeps me busy smh lol but I love her.

Warnings: cussing, angst.

This is after she has her baby he’s a boy and his name is Aiden Daniel Smith he has curly brown hair and brown eyes just like his daddy Btw Seth hasn’t seen him yet so yay.

@dirtywrestling

Please enjoy 🧚🏼‍♀️

I looked down at my little angel just turned 4 his birthday was August 4th yes it’s been 4 years since Seth has even seen the baby but not by his choice I didn’t want Aiden to see him, I know it was wrong for me to do but I couldn’t let him hurt my baby like he did me. I seen the wwe tickets in my hand and I felt sick all of a sudden, Aiden knew who his daddy was and he wanted to see him so I bought tickets, and I regretted the decision. Of course I had to answer the hard questions I knew I was going to.

Like why did I leave daddy and don’t I love him, and those were on good days, I would have gotten back with Seth but I just couldn’t bring myself to ever talk to him, Aiden was a constant reminder of Seth god he looked just like him, besides he had my nose and lips I buckled him in his car seat and I got into the driver side and started the car, I took a deep breath and Aiden looked at me “mommy let’s go I wanna get up close to see daddy.” If your wondering yes this is his first time meeting his dad and I don’t know how Seth would take it in, I knew he was going to be mad at me but I couldn’t care he shouldn’t have cheated.

We got to the arena and we sat in the seats we were suppose to, and the barricade was right in front of use I can’t believe 4 years ago I was getting thrown into them, I held my sons hand and I looked at him “remember daddy doesn’t know you’re so don’t say anything to him okay.” He nodded his head and Seth’s music played “speak of the devil and he shall appear.” Aiden looked up at me “huh mommy I couldn’t hear you over the awesome music.” I sighed yep you’re your dads son alright.” He giggled and Roman saw us and he just smiled. After their match I could see Roman day something Seth he turned around and we made eye contact I blushed and he just smiled

“Mommy are you okay?” I looked at him and I didn’t respond I just smiled “mommy do you need water, you need to stay hydrated I’m to small to carry you out. I got little arms.” I laughed at him while he wiggles his arms around, I kissed his cheek and he wiped it “mommy people are around.” Raw ended and Aiden wouldn’t stop WOOING so I decided to join him until security came up to us “miss smith?” I nodded and Aiden grabbed my hand “I’m to small to go to jail, I wouldn’t survive I eat way to much that’s what mommy says.” I smiled at him and the security chuckled “come with me ma’am some one wants to see you.” Aiden smiled at me “is it daddy?” I nodded “you bet kiddo.” He looked at me and made a grumpy face “let’s go see my daddy I going to beat him up.” I laughed and walked “no your not Aiden your going to behave.” Aiden huffed “Yes huh I’m going to give him a knuckle sandwich.” He held out his fist and punched his hand.

“God you are your mommy’s little boy.” We got backstage and a few people saw me and smiled Charlotte walked up to us “hey Ariana how have you been.” I didn’t know Aiden was behind me until he said something to Charlotte“her names mommy not Ariana.” She raised an eyebrow at me “is that your son?” I nodded my head “yep my little Superman.” She knelt down and looked at him “don’t be shy little dude I’m Charlotte, I’m like your moms sister we are basically family little man.” He looked at her “I’m not little I’m this many.” he held up four fingers which made me and Charlotte laugh “well one things for sure he is your child Ariana.” I looked at Charlotte and Aiden was smiling “I thought I heard some wooing you a fan of mine?” Aiden nodded his head and smiled “heck yeah I love to wooo.” I laughed while he wooed with Charlotte I recorded them doing it together and she kissed him on the cheek and he ran behind me and buried his face in my leg.

“Well I gotta go Arian nice seeing you again and it was nice meeting you Aiden.” I nodded my head “you too Charlotte maybe we will catch up later.” I continued to walk with Aiden attached at my hip and he met a few more superstars when I seen Seth, he was standing with Roman and Dean. Dean and Roman noticed me but Seth hadn’t since his back was turned towards us and before I knew it Aiden walked over and kicked the shit out of him, my eyes widened and I ran over “no Aiden I told you to behave.” He looked at Seth and was throwing his arms around “no he hurt you mommy and no one hurts you.” Seth didn’t know what to say to me or our child, and Aiden just look at him “I think was a bad idea.” I look at Aiden and turned to walk away “please don’t go.” I looked at Seth and his eyes were pleading me to stay I sighed, Roman called Aiden “hey lil uce How about you give mommy and daddy some time alone.” He looked at me and I nodded he smiled at me ran over to Roman and mouth thank you.

Seth looked at me “so that’s our son?” I nodded and looked at him “yep.” He sniffed “god he looks just like me.” I sighed I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him or let you see him I just wasn’t ready to face you.” He looked at me “I couldn’t care if I literally left you when you were pregnant you still shouldn’t have kept him from me.” I felt my blood pressure rising “Seth you did see him on my Instagram you could have always reached out but you never did so don’t try to put it all off on me.” He sighed “Ariana I still love you, and I’m just hurt I was trying to make it up to you but I never could, when I first saw a picture of him I knew he was mine I just couldn’t find it in me to reach out.” I was shocked by his words but honestly I didn’t care “Seth I still love you too but don’t think because I said means you are forgiven because you aren’t.” He smiled alittle “what’s his name?” I looked at him “Aiden Daniel Smith.” He smiled “you gave him my middle name?”

I nodded my head and he hugged me “I will make it up to you even if my life depends on it.” Aiden came over to us “alright back up off my mommy, she might have forgiven you but there are rules dad.” He raised his eyebrows at Aiden and I laughed “first no more hurting my mommy, second no being a butt head I would say what mommy use to call you but I can’t swear.” Seth looked up at me and laughed “he’s got your temper I can see.” Aiden pulled on him “hey I’m not done here just cause I’m small doesn’t mean I can’t do damage.” I laughed at Aiden and he looked at me and I quit smiling so He could feel serious “thirdly where’s my hug I mean i know I’m cute so why haven’t you hugged me yet?” Roman laughed at Aiden while Seth and Aiden hugged, “so Aiden who’s your favorite wrestler?”

Dean and Roman started pointing at them but Seth expect him to say him but I knew what was coming “Charlotte flair she’s great I bet she can beat y’all up.” Roman and dean both looked at each other confused and Seth scoffed “yeah right.” Aiden did Seth’s famous eyebrow raise “want me to get her to see cause we are friends.” I looked at him “that’s enough Aiden it’s time for bed.” Seth looked at me “come back Tomorrow and we can all hang out as a family.” Aiden looked at me “yeah mommy can we please.” I smiled at him “okay kiddo.”

A/N: I hoped y’all liked it I had to write Aiden sassy like his momma but I mean I’m not complain so yay. I really enjoyed writing this. Sorry if there are typos I just didn’t wanna re-read it 😉😉

[tessatechaitea]

Team Titans #16

I'm fairly certain that this is some of that 3-D art that was popular at the time. I'm also fairly certain it's a dick.

"Oh no! My horse was shot straight up the asshole!"

Image Comics changed the face of the comic book industry in many ways that smarter people than me actually know about. But one of the ways that people don't talk about as much (unless they do. I don't have time to actually read about comics or research them or interact with other comic book fans in any way except to make a disgusted face when they try to speak with me!) is how, immediately following Image Comics push for creator's rights, DC decided to create and trademark characters by every name they could think of. "Here are a bunch of characters created by committee that we can get our writers to use instead of creating their own and then expecting royalties on those stupid characters we own and don't legally have to pay extra for, you Goddamned vampires! Fucking Image Comics! Suck our dicks!" Team Titans had to be a reaction to this new mindset. The premise of this terrible comic book was that thousands of superheroes from the future were sent back in time to save their future. And most of those characters had terrible names, like Redwing and Gunsmoke and Battalion and Sparkle Boy. Evidence from the letters pages suggests that this comic book was expected to last long enough that audiences would see what happened to hundreds of these teams. About the same time this series was hitting the shelves, DC put out their summer blockbustr, Bloodlines, which was just a blatant attempt to create as many new heroes as they could come up with before writers began expecting created by paychecks. I'm not sure how well it worked though since Hitman is probably the only hero created at that time that anybody could now name. And also, maybe Garth Ennis gets a created by paycheck for him? I don't know! How should I know?! Remember that part about how I don't do research?! In conclusion, Team Titans can be criticized harshly because it was never meant to be a work of art or a coherent story or entertaining at all. It was just a repository for new characters that DC editors could later mention to new writers when they came on board. "Oh, you don't want to create your own character that you would really be into and thus probably write a terrific story about which would help make DC a lot of money even if we had to pay you creator's rights on it! Maybe you'd rather write a story about Loose Cannon or Joe Public or Cardinal Sin?!" Years later, that editor might be wind up looking at the top selling comics of the month to discover the writer who they drove away was writing a hit comic book with Image Comics because it was the story they wanted to tell but didn't know how to tell it using Loose Cannon as the main character. Meanwhile, Terry and Donna had a baby that didn't grow up to be an evil narcissistic time traveling world conqueror. I sort of forgot about that.

"Stop being hysterical, Donna! Listen to me, a failed history professor, when I downplay our child's potential illness!" -- Terry Long, typical man.

I can't wait until Donna's child's skin sloughs off and he's revealed to be a mutant lizard monster. Then Donna can be all, "I told you something was wrong!" And Terry can be all, "You just live for these moments, don't you?! Wonder Girl! Always right! Can't do anything wrong! Won't let her husband live it down that he failed to write his book on mythology that would have given him a tenured position at NYU!" And Donna would be all, "I never bring that up! You need to let that shit go, you stupid bastard!" And then Terry can be all, "Our child is a lizard because you probably fucked some mythological creature during those months I couldn't get an erection because I felt like such a failure!" And then Donna can be all, "Why are you still even in these comic books?!" And then my writing teacher can be all, "Is this really how you want to write dialogue? With all the 'so-and-so can be all's?!"

Oh look! I was right about Lobo still being used to increase sales. I think this was right around when Lobo was being used on any series that wanted to prove that their hero could beat the unbeatable Lobo, thus turning Lobo into a punching bag and a loser. Which maybe he always was but look at how cool he looks! And at least he's only a genocidal monster and not a pedophile like Deathstork!

The rest of the comic book seems to be Jeff Jensen's attempt at art. That's my guess because he's doing something different and that means it must be art! The final nineteen pages are narrated by Nightrider, the vampire, as he's shot by a neighbor, crawls off to die, and then infiltrates the dreams of the other members of the Team Titans. That's not the artsy part though! That's regular comic book stuff. The artsy part is that Jensen tells the narrated story through the second person point of view. I always think of it as the Choose Your Own Adventure perspective. Maybe Jensen thought the reader would actually give a shit about Nightrider if they were put in Nightrider's bloody shoes? It's a decent attempt since if Nightrider were telling the story through the first person, I would read it while constantly thinking, "Is his name really Nightrider? Did I misread that? I should go back and check where Terry says his name. Let's see. Yep! It's really Nightrider. What a terrible name! Although I'd read a comic book where he teams up with Gunsmoke, sort of like Iron Fist and Luke Cage." But since the story is told in the second person, I completely forgot to think about Nightrider's dumb name because I was distracted by the use of the second person. Instead, my thoughts were these: "What the fuck is Jensen doing?! This is so awkward! It's like when my cousin began writing essays and stories at Mission College and he wrote them all in the second person because I'm pretty sure the only books he ever read were The Cave of Time and The Mystery of Chimney Rock!" So congratulations, Jeff Jensen, on completely succeeding at taking my mind of Nightrider's name which, I guess, means I cared a little more about his story? Not that this story where he crawls into a cave to die concentrates on him and his pain anyway. It's more a storytelling trick to catch up the reader on all of the angst and pain and turmoil the other Titans are suffering through. Poor Nightrider! He's not even interesting enough to carry the story when he's dying!

Yeesh. Mirage dreams she "gives birth" (quotes because I don't think this portrays normal birth!) to her baby, conceived when Deathwing raped her, after which her baby threatens to rape her.

After a bunch of mysterious images and bits of story that make the reader believe they've seen some clues as to the future direction of this comic book (but actually haven't seeing as how none of the dreams mentioned how they'd be cancelled in nine more issues), the neighbor who shot Nightrider clambers into the cave and cradles him in his arms. "I won't let you die," he screams to the Gods! "Even if I have to let you suck my dick!" He glances around furtively. "That's probably how your life will be saved, right?" he says as he unzips his jeans. Team Titans #16 Rating: A+ because it was artists making an effort, I guess. But this comic book wasn't for me.

[iloveyou-morethanthis]

The Man of My Dreams

Word Count: 3,000

Rating: angst, mystery, eventual smut

Summary: A car accident steals four years of memory from a girl. Anyone in this circumstance would be surrounded by loved ones. But she's not. They've all abandoned her, or so she thinks? She's made new friends, and fallen in love again. But are they really new friends? Is it really a new love? Secrets, lies, deception all for the sake of protection. As her memories start to comeback she begins to recognize a familiar figure in her memories but before it all comes back she's in danger again. Will she survive long enough to uncover the secret in her own?

Dark.

Cold.

Quiet.

She awoke gasping for air.

Choking. Drowning?

That's how she always wakes up from them.

Dreams? Nightmares? Memories?

They don't happen as frequently now.

Once a month, maybe?

At least now they seem to guide her. As if they're trying to tell her something. She's no longer afraid of what they have to show her. The visions, as her therapist calls them, are her ‘suppressed memories’ trying to ‘resurface’. They always show her snippets and clips but never the full movie. Sometimes her mind plays reruns and she'll have the same dream for weeks. Sometimes they're new. Sometimes she'll remember them. Most of the time she doesn't. But there's one thing that's always the same.

Him.

She knows him.

Well she did, or did she?

“Maybe he’s your guide?” Her therapist would say.

Maybe he's my anchor. She thinks. He never takes me anywhere. He's always just....there

*ding*

The familiar sound of the front door rang through the coffee shop. At 6:30 in the morning the shop was usually buzzing, but it’s Saturday, even in the city, not many people are bustling around this early in the morning. She’s an exception of course, being assistant to the Head of Design for multi-million dollar fashion company meant that vacations and weekends mean nothing to her workload. This Saturday was no exception. The Fall line is to be released in one month, so her team is working overtime to prepare the finishing looks, prepping models and arranging last minute seating charts for the fashion show guests. Not to mention all the while preparing the looks books for next year’s summer and fall lines. Thankfully the Spring show is being handled by the second design team. Handling one season is hard enough, but getting three seasons in a row is unbearable. If fashion wasn’t something she loved she would’ve quit the first day of her internship, if you could call 72 work hours of stitch removal an internship. She still remembers soaking her hands in warm water the first weekend and crying to her brother about the witch she now calls her boss. He told her to quit if she hated it so much but she was determined to make it. She’s always wanted her own fashion line, and if getting it means she has to make deals with the devil, then show her the dotted line.

“Good Morning Katsumi.” The young man behind the counter greeted her.

“Good Morning Nini, and how come you never call me Sumi?” She returns his smile.

The man smirked, with a quick look behind him he leaned in close and spoke, “You know I’d call you that if it wasn’t for you know who.”

She peeked over his shoulder looking down the hallway. Just beyond the boxes of to-be-stocked coffee beans she could see his office. Jongin’s boss was mulling over some papers, with his silver rimmed glasses perched at the tip of his nose. He looks exhausted. His dark bangs falling into his face. He must have stayed up late last night only to return first thing this morning. She wanted nothing more than to walk behind the counter and run her fingers through his hair, to soothe and comfort the man.

“He works too hard,” Jongin says shaking her from her thoughts.

“Yeah, he does.” She agreed. Lifting her eyes to the office one last time she’s met with an empty desk. The man instead is standing in the doorway just behind Nini, looking right at her. She starts to stutter good morning but the air in her chest remains trapped. Words never breaking out. He's handsome. Gorgeous even. She's smitten. He's not nearly as tall or broad as Jongin, but still built, his muscles firm beneath his too tight dress shirts and dress pants (not that she was looking, but if she was she'd report a marvellous ass carved by the gods.) As perfect as his body was, it was his face that bewitched her. His doe eyes were a deep dark brown, so deep that when she looked into them she could see her secrets welling inside them. As if him looking at her could cause her to bare everything to him. His smile was contagious, his laugh just as precious. On the off chance she was graced with its beauty she felt happy for days. His smile was mostly gums and teeth, but boy was it the cutest thing she'd ever seen. She wanted nothing more that to see it on him always and to be the reason for that smile.

“Good morning Ma’am, is it your usual today.” The man said stepping from the doorway to the machines on Nini’s right.

“Actually sir I've already got it ready.” Nini said stepping to his left and handing over a large to go coffee and a warmed croissant in a small bag. Looking to his boss and back at Jongin she spoke a small thank you.

“Making me look bad,huh?” Minseok raised a brow in their direction.

“Oh please you're just making an excuse to not finish your work, a very pretty excuse if you ask me.” Nini quips, shooting a wink in Sumi direction. The heat in her cheeks rising quickly, while she silently wills it to disappear. An accidental glance towards Jongin’s boss shows she not the only one with tinted cheeks.

“So you're in awful early on a Saturday morning, even for you?” Minseok questions.

“Ugh tell me about it. Between closing the summer line and opening the fall one, yah girl gets no sleep.” She says using exaggerated hand motions. This brings a smile to both men's faces.

“Do they have you working Spring this coming year? Surely not Winter to finish out the year?” He questions, eyes full of concern.

“Thankfully no Spring. After the flower fiasco of 2017, I refuse to step within 10 feet of a Spring lookbook.” At that Jongin chuckles, apparently recalling her stories of the baby runways and mini flower floats. Her boss was lucky she actually liked children but that was more than she could say for the rest of her team.

“As for Winter I'll be joining the executive team as a designer. My accessory line was approved, so I won't have to plan the events for the season but just participate. It'll be nice, in a nerve wrecking kind of way.”

“Oh my god, Congratulations, Sumi!” Minseok expresses, noticing Sumi’s surprise he adds, “Really, I mean it. It's a big deal to have your line appear. Especially on the executive team. Your work must be amazing if you've only been with them for 3 years.”

She can feel her cheeks warming again at the praise. “Thank you. I'd like to think it's because I work hard, but my work is pretty amazing if I do say so myself.” She winks. Looking to her watch it reads 6:45am, she doesn't need to be in the office until 7:30 but not wanting to catch traffic she decides to say her goodbyes.

“Nini are you gonna be at the studio next weekend for Yixing’s classes?” She asks.

Jongin and Sumi met at Yixing's dance studio, not too far from the coffee shop. Even though they go to the studio for different reasons, Jongin to choreograph and Sumi to relax, they both love dance. That's what they built their friendship on, it's also how she found the coffee shop, and in turn Minseok. She'd been coming to this coffee shop for almost 2 years. Her and Nini meeting shortly prior, their friendship never extended past the studio and the coffee shop. She was okay with that. In the time she's been coming to the shop, she and Minseok had never exchanged anything more than a few pleasantries, it was love at first sight. Well from her sight.

“Yep, and guess who's gonna be recording his choreo?” Jongin says wiggling his eyebrows.

“No way!! Is this the same one you were working on in spring?! I'm so glad you finally finished. Does this mean he's gonna let you teach it? Oh please please teach it! I better feature in this video or we’re gonna fight.” She joked. Jongin worked hard on his choreos always honing his skills making sure each move was perfect and if anything felt off or just not quite right it never saw the light of day, that is until he found just what was missing.

“Promise. I teach first thing Saturday morning. I'm nervous, it's not like it's my first time teaching but I guess since the class is international it makes it a big deal.”

“You'll do great Nini. Don't worry about it. I'll be right there in the front row” She encourages. At that moment another customer walks through the door. “Well I should get going I will see you guys later.” She waves.

Minseok and Jongin laugh. “We'll see you tomorrow.” They chime.

“Heyyyyyy.” She faux pouts. “I have the day off tomorrow so I was gonna sleep in.”

“Mhmm sure,” Minseok taunts, as Jongin helps the new arrival. “So I'll just make your coffee for dine-in, maybe even later in the day? 8:30?”

She sighs, tapping a finger on her chin thoughtfully. “I suppose I do have some errands to run tomorrow. I guess spending the morning here wouldn't hurt.” She smiles. Minseok nods in acknowledgement and waves her out the door. With a quick wave from Nini she heads down the sidewalk towards her car.

At seven o'clock it's time to close up shop. He let Jongin go home early. Since he goes to school now he lets him pull doubles on weekends as to not disturb his class work. He always feels bad for him and tries to send him home to get some rest when the shop isn't busy. The kid works too hard. He's wiping down the last table when he hears the door open.

“We're closed.” He calls out to the customer.

“Ah, sorry about that. Good thing I'm not here for coffee,” the customer states.

Minseok's heard that voice before, and he's certainly not fond of it. It's arrogant, irritating, bitchy, pushy and too smooth. His voice sounds like it belongs to a seasoned salesman. The kind that sells you what you never needed, takes your last penny and you never realize it till you've already sold your soul. He's the devil.

“Well, to what do I owe the pleasure, Yuta.” Tucking the towel in his back pocket, he places the last chair on the table. He hates saying the young man's name, it always leaves a foul taste in his mouth.

“Shall we sit?” The younger asks motioning to a booth by the window. No doubt making the elder an easy target for whatever gunman the younger has stationed outside, should Minseok try anything. Which, sounds like a pleasing thought, but he's not in the mood to take a bullet over a good sock to the younger’s face. Minseok heads to the booth and takes a seat. He glances out the window for any visible signs of Yuta’s men, but it's all in vain. Even with his trained eye he could only guess the spots they're in. After all this is his territory, so Minseok is confident that even if he doesn't have eyes on Yuta’s men, then Seungcheol definitely does. He and Jongdae were opposed to him opening up the coffee shop complaining that it leaves him exposed and vulnerable. He's been known to live on the edge never worrying about consequences, that is, until that day. He always knew his risk-taking would get him hurt, maybe even kill him. He was ready for that, but he wasn’t ready when the consequences fell to someone he cared most about. He never expected that she would have to pay the price.

“I'm sure you know why I'm here.” Yuta smiles warmly. To those who don't know him they'd trust that smile in good faith, but Minseok knows that smile all too well, it sends cold chills down his spine.

“Actually, I'm not quite sure why you're here. As I recall, we settled our business months ago with no intentions of renegotiating.” Minseok said sternly. Minseok is almost 32 and has obtained, maintained and controlled most of Seoul’s underground for a decade, as well as outer lying cities. He was young like Yuta when he came up. He was arrogant pushed the boundaries and grew his territory with a relentless hunger and iron fist. Yuta has recently overtaken a smaller rival gang that originated in Minseok’s home town of Guri. The gang has always been a thorn in his foot, but he never had any desire or need to extinguish until Yuta appeared. The younger is like a starving leopard, his blood lust evident on his face. The younger man pushed an envelope across the table.

“I think this will reopen our negotiations.” His smile grew into something similar to the Cheshire Cat. The elder grabbed the manila and opened it. He splayed it's contents across the table in front of him.

There were pictures. Five freshly printed photos of her. Of Sumi. Each one he could tell was from different times of the year. The first was from last year around summer time she hadn't been coming to the shop for long at that point. The next photo was of her leaving her apartment that following winter, then again in early spring. Each picture leading up to today. It was her exiting her car from her office’s private parking garage.

He was fuming. Minseok is usually good at controlling his anger but once you've pressed his buttons he sees red. And right now Yuta’s blood was the red he sought after. He wants nothing more than to spill his blood across his freshly cleaned table.

How dare he bring her into this? How dare he even consider threatening her? Bringing someone innocent into this. She's done nothing and means nothing to him. What could he possibly—How does he even know? Does he know?

Looking up from the pictures into Yuta's eyes, he gets all the answers he was looking for. Yes, he plans to use her against him. Yes, he will do anything to get what he wants, even harming her. And yes, he does know.....exactly who she is.

“Ahh, so you do know who she is.” Yuta drawls. “I was under the impression my men were following a useless lead.” He chuckles. “But seeing the look on your face shows me I should've put more resources into this much sooner.” Smirking he interlocks his fingers and places his hands under his chin.

“So, what do you say? You give me the outer cities. I already have Guri, what about I give you the girl and you give me Suwon and Ansan.”

“That's bold. Even for you.”

“Well, how much does she mean to you?” His face darkens. “Besides, Suwon isn't much worth to you, it sits on your outer boundaries. What would you really be giving up? A few hundred thousand won? Besides, Ansan is your baby, that where you keep your arsenal isn't it?” The glint in his eyes are starting to grow into a wildfire. “The girl means nothing to me. But she means a lot to you, Ansan and your trading ports mean a lot to me, and I can't just stand by and watch you forsake them. So I propose a trade—”

“Not happening” he counters. “What you're gonna do, is walk back out that door you came in, get in you car and drive home. The next time you set foot in my territory is the last time you walk.” His whole demeanour darkens. He can see it even rattles Yuta, not enough to scare him but enough to catch him off guard. “That girl is off limits. You wanna throw her into the mix then you can consider yourself cut off. No more deals, no more supplies. If you want so badly to be a solo independent organization then prove it. But you just bit the hand that feeds you, and I put those dogs down, not kick them out. If it's a war you want then that's what you get, but you're undermanned and if you think your equipped to handle something of this magnitude then you're dumber than I thought. Now get the fuck out of my coffee shop.”

With that the younger man stands and exits, just as confident, if not more so, than when he came in. This is what he wanted. He came to strike a nerve, and that he did. Minseok doesn't care if he put if heart on his sleeve or let his emotions show, it's how he's always been and it's how he'll continue to be. He's never backed down from a fight, and he's not going to now. Yuta's messes with the wrong boss today, and he's gonna out that brat in his place, then put him out of his misery.

He grabs the photos in the envelope and locks up the shop. He exits through the backdoor into the the cool night air. Picking up the buzzing phone from his pocket he swipes to answer. “Yeah. I know.” Is all he says into the receiver before hanging up. He doesn't let himself think about anything the whole 30 minute ride to his night club deep in the heart of Seoul. He cherishes the silence knowing that it'll be his last of the calm be the storm. He may not get this again till he's rid himself of Yuta. Or until Yuta get rid of him.

He pulls his car to the secret entrance at the back of his club. Jongdae is already waiting for him. He didn't need to look at his best friend to know the look he carried on his face. It was one mixed with concern and disappointment. Jongdae is his right hand man. Best friend since childhood. When they started in this business Minseok was the muscle and he was the brains. Where Minseok can be hot headed, Jongdae was always ten steps ahead and had contingency plans for his contingency plans. All jobs Jongdae headed were bound for success, if anyone could get him out of this mess it would be him.

“Before you say it, let's find the mole so I can blow off some steam.” Minseok entered the building, he could feel the bass vibrating through the walls.

“I already know who it is, but you're not getting his name. We need him, for now at least,” Jongdae said taking the lead and heading up a stairwell to the office.

“Jongdae—” Minseok wanted to say more but was cut off.

“Look Minnie the first course of action is contacting Kyungsoo. He needs to know.”

“He'll kill me.”

“Then we agree on something.”

Cont.

[destielfluffnstuff]

[Destiel Fic] “Backstreet Cafe”

Summary:

Meg hires a guitarist for Castiel’s new cafe without telling him, and it turns out to be one Dean Winchester. The very same Dean who had been Castiel’s desperate high school crush.

In which Dean is a flirt, Castiel is oblivious, and Meg uses the power of cheesy love songs in the attempt to force them together. 

Categories: Light angst to fluff, AU Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Meg Words: 7,634 Rating: Explicit Tags: Bottom!Dean, top!Cas, proudly bisexual Dean, gay Cas, pining, misunderstandings, smutty ending, coffee shops, singing!Dean, guitarist!Dean

My Notes: I included Spotify links if you want to listen to the songs as you go. The song may not sync up with the scene (and Dean’s versions are different), so listening and reading at the same time might not work for each scene. One of them links to the album because it wouldn’t link the specific song for me.

I removed a couple of the song links where Dean’s arrangement is meant to be so different that I didn’t want to put the original too strongly in your mind.

—————

When Castiel stepped out of the back office, he was relieved to see a good crowd of customers in the cafe. Getting through winter and spring had been difficult, but the previous owner had promised that summer would bring a boom of tourists, and enough business that he could put money away for his second winter. By the looks of it that certainly seemed to be true. The weather was beautiful today, and the tourists were here for it, happy to enjoy the early June sun on the beach.

When Castiel looked around for Meg he found her setting something up in the far corner of the room. He had a feeling he would regret asking, but he walked over to find out what she was doing.

When Castiel had moved back to Ocean Shores and decided to buy the little cafe, Meg had been looking for a job at the time. Cas had been nervous about hiring an old high school friend, but she’d turned out to be a reliable manager. And even though they were friends and had a relaxed working relationship, she still respected that the business was his baby.

“Do I want to know what you’re doing?” Castiel asked. He noticed she’d put one of the more comfortable upholstered chairs in the corner facing out, with a small table next to it.

“Don’t be mad,” Meg said, looking up at Castiel with mischievous eyes. “The summer guitarist starts today.”

Castiel gaped at Meg for a moment. “The what? You hired a musician without asking me? Did you at least audition them?”

Meg shrugged. “He said he played here last summer for the previous owner. So I figured he must be good.”

Cas shook his head. “Well if he sucks you have to be the one to tell him he’s fired.”

Meg grinned. “Deal.”

—————

It was about a half hour later when the front door chimed, and Castiel looked up from behind the counter, only to see Dean Winchester walk through the door, guitar in hand.

Castiel was frozen in shock, and he couldn’t help but stare as Dean walked toward him, a grin splitting the handsome man’s face. He was still just as beautiful as he had been in high school, with bright green eyes and perfect freckles. If anything he looked even better now, and Castiel couldn’t help but notice how his t-shirt clung to his shoulders and his trim waist.

Meg laughed next to him. “Oh, did I forget to mention that the guitarist is Dean fucking Winchester?” She was clearly enjoying his reaction.

“Cas, long time, buddy!” Dean said, leaning on the front counter and smiling. “I didn’t know you were back in town, are you the one who bought this place?”

Castiel stared blankly for a moment, shocked that not only did Dean remember him, he could apparently tell him apart from his twin brother, even after ten years. “Um, yeah, I did,” he managed, trying to remember what he was doing. “So, you’re the guitarist?”

They’d only had one class together for the last couple months of high school. Dean and his family had moved into town that spring, and Cas had been off to college only a few months later. Castiel didn’t think he’d made enough of an impression to be remembered, especially with the huge crowd of friends Dean had collected in that short time. But apparently he’d been wrong.

“Yep, that’s me,” Dean said, still smiling. “It’s just a hobby, but I like to get out and play in the summer. The coffee shop is perfect, I can entertain the tourists for tips and then get back to my real job.”

Castiel nodded, trying not to get too flustered. “Yeah, great. Well Meg reserved a spot for you in the corner, why don’t you get set up and I’ll bring you some coffee. What do you like?” Coffee, he could handle that.

“Just black, thanks!” Dean said. His gaze seemed to linger on Castiel’s face a moment too long before he turned to go set up.

Castiel was in a daze as he poured a cup of black coffee into a mug. He couldn’t believe Dean was here, and he remembered him. Cas had the absolute worst crush on Dean in high school, and it really hadn’t helped that the guy was never anything less than kind. But he’d clearly been into the girls then, and he reminded himself now that he was straight.

He took the coffee and put it down on the table next to where Dean sat, tuning his guitar.

“Thanks!” Dean stopped what he was doing to take a sip. “Man that’s good, you really know what you’re doing, don’t you?”

“Oh, uh, thanks,” Castiel said, feeling annoyingly nervous just to be talking to the man. “I’ll leave you to your guitar, I don’t want to interrupt.”

“As long as we get some time to catch up later,” Dean said, turning back to his guitar. “Any requests?”

“Um, not yet, I’ll tell you if I think of anything,” Cas said, backing away. “So uh, dealers choice I guess.”

“Sounds good to me.” Dean watched Cas leave.

Cas escaped to the front counter, where he found Meg watching him, biting her lip and trying not to laugh. He glared at her. “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you? You want the coffee shop all to yourself.”

Meg laughed. “I thought it would be a fun surprise, that’s all. I knew you hadn’t seen him since you got back.”

“I didn’t even know he still lived here,” Castiel said, glancing back at Dean and keeping his voice low. “I assumed he moved on after high school, especially with how his dad bounced them from town to town chasing work.”

“He never left,” Meg said. “I guess he likes it here.”

Castiel heard the sound of a perfectly tuned guitar starting to gently strum, and he turned back around to watch Dean play. The guitar started out soft, just the right volume for the small space, and it took Castiel a moment to recognize the song was Devil’s Backbone.

When Dean finally started to sing, his voice was beautiful and deep. “Oh Lord, oh Lord, what have I done? I’ve fallen in love with a man on the run.” His hands strummed expertly over the strings, and the deep emotion of the song was reflected in his face. “Oh Lord, oh Lord, I’m begging you please. Don’t take that sinner from me…”

Castiel found himself frozen, completely enraptured by Dean’s performance. He was absolutely masterful with the guitar, and his voice was soulful and lilting, quietly pulling the attention of everyone in the room.

Dean glanced up at him a few times while he sang, and something Cas didn’t understand shone in the other man’s eyes. Before he could figure it out, Dean looked away, focusing back on the song and his small audience.

As the end of the song approached, Dean’s voice grew softer. “Don’t care if he’s guilty, don’t care if he’s not. He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I’ve got.” There was an intensity in the quiet song, and it kept everyone enraptured in the moment. “Oh Lord, oh Lord, I’m begging you please. Don’t take that sinner from me.”

The moment the song was over the small crowd applauded, and several people approached Dean, vying for his attention and trying to put in requests.

Castiel was still frozen to his spot behind the counter, processing what he’d just watched. He felt Meg slide up next to him, and he looked at her with a dumbstruck expression on his face.

Meg cocked an eyebrow. “So what do you say boss, can he stay?”

Castiel just slowly nodded. “He can definitely stay.”

—————

Dean played for about an hour, including several Mumford & Sons songs that were perfectly suited for his voice, until the afternoon crowd started to trickle out of the cafe. When things got quiet he put down the guitar and wandered up to the front again, leaning against the counter next to were Castiel was wiping down the espresso machine.

Castiel looked up at him, determined to remain calm and normal, no matter how much effort it took.

“Do you want more coffee?” He offered, assuming that would be the only reason Dean would approach the counter. “I could make you a latte?”

Dean shook his head. “I’m just giving my fingers a break, figured it was slow enough you could spare a couple minutes to fill me in on everything,” he said, watching Castiel curiously. “Last thing I remember you were out of here, you were going to Columbia in New York. I’ve never found you on Facebook, so I have no idea what you’ve been up to.”

Castiel was surprised that Dean remembered specifically what college he went to, as well as the suggestion that he’d looked for him online. “Oh, uh, yeah I went to Columbia,” he said, not sure Dean really wanted all the details. “Worked in coffee shops all through school, by the time I graduated I was a store manager. With the shitty economy I decided to just stick with it.”

Dean nodded, surprisingly interested in Castiel’s boring life story. “And when did you move back?”

“About six months ago,” Castiel said. “I was already thinking about moving out of New York when my brother’s wife died. He was a mess and not at all prepared to raise a three year old alone, so I moved back to stay with him and help out. I had some money saved, enough to buy this place.”

Dean sobered. “Yeah, I heard about the car accident, I’m really sorry.” Then he brightened a little. “But that Claire sure is cute, I’ve seen her with Jimmy a few times.”

Castiel warmed, pleased that Dean knew his family. “She’s amazing, so smart and sweet. The circumstances might not be great, but I’m glad I’m getting the chance to know her.”

“So, do you live with your brother?” Dean asked, leaning in a little closer. “That’s probably not great for your love life.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Cas.

Castiel felt a little flustered, he was not prepared to handle something resembling flirting coming from Dean, even if he knew he wasn’t really hitting on him. That was just Dean’s personality. “I’m planning to get my own place soon, hopefully by the end of summer.”

The two of them continued to talk for a while, until some new customers finally wandered in. Dean headed back to play another song, while Castiel helped Meg with their coffee orders.

When they were done with the drinks, Castiel settled back against the counter to listen to Dean sing.

Meg appeared at his side. “So, are you going to ask him out?”

Castiel turned to frown at her. “He’s straight.”

Meg barked a laugh. “Like hell he is.” She looked at Castiel, realizing he was serious. “I forget how long you’ve been gone. He came out as bi a couple years after high school. That boy will hit on anything hot, he doesn’t discriminate on gender.”

Castiel was dumbfounded, and he turned back to look at Dean. He watched as a cute young man approached the guitarist, sitting close and listening intently. It was like looking at Dean with fresh eyes, he could suddenly see how openly he was flirting with the guy, all smiles and sparkling eyes while he sang.

He tore his gaze away, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter, he’s still way out of my league.” He turned away, heading back towards his office, leaving one last passing comment over his shoulder. “Doesn’t mean he’d ever be interested in me.”

—————

The next few days passed much as the first. Dean came in every afternoon and entertained the customers for the last few hours before close. He and Castiel chatted a few times, when Cas wasn’t hiding in his office trying to avoid encouraging his stupid high school crush.

Castiel was avoiding Meg too, tired of her pushing him to ask out Dean. He was not interested in being rejected by the prettiest man in town, so he was flat out refusing to entertain the thought.

But apparently Meg was prepared to fight dirty.

It had gotten a little busy, so Castiel was behind the front counter making drinks Saturday afternoon. Dean was singing and playing his guitar, and had a pretty decent little audience watching him. They all had coffee, so Castiel couldn’t argue that he wasn’t good for business.

When it finally started to settle down enough, Meg slipped out from behind the counter, approaching Dean just as he finished a song.

Castiel watched his friend with a frown, wondering what she was doing. He couldn’t hear what she said, but he could see Dean’s eyebrows shoot up. What on earth was she requesting? Dean said something in reply with a smile and a nod, and Meg came back to the counter, not looking at Castiel.

“Do I want to know?” Castiel asked.

“Just wait,” Meg said, going back to the register. “I have the counter, go enjoy the show.”

Castiel caved and moved to sit in one of the chairs.

Dean started to slowly pick the guitar, and his eyes sparkled with mirth when he looked up at Castiel, starting to sing. “As long as you love me…”

Castiel’s face bloomed pink as he recognized the Backstreet Boys song. He immediately regretted admitting his guilty pleasure to Meg, he’d always known that would come back to bite him in the ass.

“Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine, I’m leaving my life in your hands.” Dean’s voice was smooth and beautiful, his acoustic so much better than the original. He slowed the song down, putting more intensity into the words.

Castiel felt short of breath, unable to fight the power the song had over him. It didn’t help that he used to think of Dean while listening to this song. And now Dean was singing it.

Dean was looking at Castiel as he reached the chorus. “I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did. As long as you love me.” He was smiling now, clearly enjoying himself. His audience seemed to be enjoying it, too. “Every little thing that you have said and done, feels like it's deep within me. Doesn't really matter if you're on the run, it seems like we're meant to be.”

Dean had never looked more beautiful than he did in this moment, somehow magically turning the cheesy love song into a soulful ballad.

Castiel was so screwed.

—————

The next day Castiel was behind the front counter when Dean showed up. He couldn’t help but return the smile Dean was already offering him. Crush or not, he was always happy to see Dean, even if it also made things harder for him.

“Heya Cas,” Dean said, setting down his guitar and leaning on the counter. The cafe was empty and Meg was on lunch, so the two of them had the place to themselves for the moment. “Whatcha up to?”

“Practicing my latte art,” Castiel said, considering Dean. “Will you try one of my lattes if I draw on it for you?”

Dean’s eyebrows went up. “Well yeah, I can’t turn that down.”

Castiel smiled. “Great.” He started to whip up a fresh drink. “So what is your day job anyway?”

“I restore classic cars,” Dean said, hopping up to sit on the counter. “I have a garage attached to my house, lets me work on my own schedule, it’s pretty great.”

Castiel’s eyebrows rose. “That’s impressive. Do you still have that beautiful black car you had in high school?” He started to pour the foam into the drink, using a coffee stick to draw his design.

“’67 Chevy Impala,” Dean said, face bright with pride. “She’s my baby, I’ll take you cruising in her someday.” He leaned in a little closer, winking at Cas.

Castiel just looked down at the latte he was working on, reminding himself that Dean flirted with everyone. “Okay, here you go.” He handed over Dean’s drink, which had a perfect Pac-Man drawn on it.

“Whoa!” Dean’s eyebrows shot up as he looked at it. “That’s awesome! I almost don’t want to drink it,” he said, but he took a small sip anyway, trying not to mess up the image. “Damn, that’s good.”

Castiel brightened. “I’m glad you like it.”

They were interrupted by the chime of the front door, announcing the arrival of a family of tourists.

Dean gave Castiel a cheeky grin. “Show time!” He hopped off the counter, grabbing his guitar and taking his latte with him to his seat in the corner.

Castiel couldn’t help but notice how great Dean’s ass looked in his tight jeans as he walked away. That man was going to kill him.

Dean set down his coffee, moved the little ‘reserved’ sign Castiel had left on the chair, and settled in to play.

Castiel made coffee to the wonderful sound of Dean singing The House Of The Rising Sun.

—————

Somehow after that day Castiel felt more comfortable talking to Dean. It felt like when they were in high school. Castiel might have a raging, desperate crush, but he enjoyed Dean’s company enough that it was worth the pain of unrequited love. Dean was still a really great friend, and Cas hadn’t had much time to make many friends since moving back to town.

June passed surprisingly fast, so many tourists keeping him busy that he didn’t have time to think too hard about it. He and Dean talked a lot, about pretty much anything and everything. When they weren’t talking Dean was singing, which Castiel would never grow tired of listening to.

Unfortunately Meg was absolutely not satisfied with Castiel’s refusal to ask Dean out. She was constantly insisting Cas should go for it, and he would always refuse.

Meg was really on a tear today, and she was quietly arguing with Cas behind the counter so Dean couldn’t hear. He was currently singing a slow arrangement of Renegade, and it was just as beautiful as everything else he sang.

“If you keep refusing I’ll have to play dirty,” Meg threatened, arms crossed over her chest. “Don’t think I won’t request another Backstreet Boys song.”

Castiel glared. “Don’t you dare.”

Meg just cocked an eyebrow. “Watch me.”

Castiel groaned as Meg marched up to Dean, just as the man was finishing his last song. He couldn’t help but watch how Dean’s face lit up at the request, and he seemed to quickly agree.

It sure seemed like Dean knew the song was being requested for him. But even as embarrassing as it was, Cas was kind of excited to hear Dean sing another of his guilty pleasures, and he was curious which one Meg had asked for.

Castiel recognized the song almost immediately.

“I don't know what he does to make you cry, but I'll be there to make you smile.” Dean winked at Castiel as he sang the opening lines of All I Have To Give, his voice as wonderful as always.

Castiel hated it and loved it at the same time. He loved when Dean got flirty with him, for short moments he could pretend that Dean was truly interested, that it wasn’t just a reflex. He would hate it later, when he remembered he would never have this for real.

“But my love is all I have to give. Without you I don't think I could live.” Dean was ever the entertainer, making eye contact with each of the swooning girls—and a couple guys—in the audience. “I wish I could give the world to you. But love is all I have to give.” Somehow his eyes always found their way back to Castiel.

As soon as the song was over, Castiel conveniently remembered that he was supposed to go on a supply run. He was out of the cafe before Dean could even think about talking to him.

—————

Much to Meg’s frustration, Castiel continued his refusal to ask out Dean throughout the month of July. She kept pushing, but Cas was happy to just be friends.

Or at least he told himself that. Especially when there were fawning admirers flocking around the man.

Dean was singing Demons by Imagine Dragons, and he had a gaggle of young women hanging on his every word.

His hands moved deftly over the guitar. “When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It’s where my demons hide, it’s where my demons hide.” He leaned over the guitar, eyes moving from one girl to the next, including each of them in the performance.

Even from across the room, Castiel felt drawn in. He tried to distract himself by making a fresh latte for Dean.

When the song was over, he slipped through the crowd towards Dean. “Excuse me ladies, got to keep our guitarist well caffeinated.” He smiled at Dean and handed him the mug.

Dean looked up at him with a wide smile, and it seemed more genuine than the one he gave his audience. “Thank you!” He took the coffee and looked down at it, laughing. “Is that a jelly fish?”

Cas grinned. “I was going to try an octopus, but the jelly fish is cuter.”

“Yes, it definitely is,” Dean agreed. He took a long sip before setting it down next to him. “Okay, in exchange for coffee you have to make a song request. It’s only fair.”

“Oh no…” Castiel was about to decline, but then he changed his mind. “Actually, I do have a request. I request that you play your favorite song.”

Dean’s eyebrows rose. “Well that would be Ramble On, but it’s not exactly a coffee shop song.”

Castiel shrugged. “I don’t care. Will you play it for me?” He pulled up an empty chair to sit next to Dean.

Dean’s face lit up. “Yeah, of course.” He started to strum, fingers handling the song with well practiced ease, then started to sing softly. “Leaves are falling all around. It’s time I was on my way.” It was clear how much he loved the song as he sang it. He stayed close to the original, but still put his twist on the arrangement. The song got bigger as it reached the chorus, and Dean’s voice rose to meet it. “Ramble on. And now's the time, the time is now. To sing my song.”

Cas listened intently as Dean finished. He felt like the song was letting him look into Dean, to see his heart. Which was a strange thing to think about classic rock, but it was so very Dean that it just made sense.

When the song finally came to an end, Dean laughed and put down his guitar. He looked at Castiel for a long moment before speaking. “Thanks Cas.”

Castiel just smiled.

—————

It was mid August when Meg pulled out her favorite weapon again.

Castiel was ignoring her after her most recent rant, chatting with Dean at the front counter and making him a latte.

“So I think I found a place to rent,” Cas was saying. “A two bedroom duplex pretty close to Jimmy’s.”

Dean had his chin on his hand, listening intently. He was always such a great listener. “That’s awesome! Is it nice?”

“I like it,” Castiel said. “It’s just temporary anyway, if I stay here long term I’ll buy a house.” He looked up from the mug he was working on. “How about you, how’s that ’69 Camaro coming along?”

Dean straightened up, always excited to talk about his cars, and clearly pleased that Cas had remembered his current project. “She’s almost done. I’m going to have a hard time selling her, she’s a looker.”

Castiel shook his head. “I will never understand why you talk about cars like they’re women.”

“They are women,” Dean said with a grin.

Castiel just laughed softly. “Well here’s your coffee,” he slid the mug across the counter to Dean.

Dean looked down at the outline of a muscle car on his latte and barked a laugh. “You never cease to amaze me, Cas.”

Meg was suddenly there, shoving in next to Castiel. “Hey Dean, can I put in a request?”

Dean looked up at her from over the rim of his coffee cup. “Of course.”

“I Want It That Way.” She waggled her eyebrows at Castiel before turning back to Dean. “Do you know it?”

Castiel glared at Meg. He couldn’t believe she was going to do this to him, again.

“Of course I do,” Dean said, winking at her. “One Backstreet Boys song, coming right up.” He saluted them, then took his coffee back over to his guitar.

“You’re incorrigible,” Castiel growled to Meg.

“You’re stubborn,” Meg said, folding her arms and leaning against the counter.

Castiel sighed. He seriously considered running away before Dean started to play, but he just couldn’t make himself, he loved these covers too much. Even if he’d never admit it to anyone.

Dean started to softly pick the guitar. He glanced up at Castiel as he started to sing. “You are… my fire. The one… desire. Believe when I say, I want it that way.”

“What does that even mean anyway?” Meg asked.

Castiel didn’t answer, he was too wrapped up in the song. Dean’s arrangement was softer than the original, understated and authentically soulful in a way that shouldn’t be possible for such a cheesy pop song.

As he often did, Dean looked up at Castiel while he sang. His eyes were bright, and he held eye contact with Castiel for a long moment before he spared a glance at the rest of his small audience

Castiel was glued to the spot, listening to Dean’s wonderful voice. Before he knew it the song was nearly done. He was startled to see Dean actually look legitimately sad as the song lamented lost love.

“Now I can see that we've fallen apart, from the way that it used to be.” Dean seemed wrapped up in the moment, not looking up until he got to the final chorus, where he remembered to engage his audience again.

Castiel was left wondering if something was bothering Dean.

—————

Meg seemed to give up on her Backstreet Boys scheme, apparently deciding it wasn’t working. But she still continued to pressure Cas to ask Dean out, no matter how many times he refused.

The closer they got to the end of summer, the more time Dean seemed to spend talking to Castiel. They both knew Dean was going to have to go back to his full time job as soon as the tourist season dried up and the tip money was no longer enough to justify taking so much time off to hang out at the cafe.

The last day of summer came far too quickly. It was the Sunday afternoon before the local kids went back to school and it was already clear that the tourists were gone.

The two of them were sitting together, in the corner that had belonged to Dean all summer. They were both sipping coffee, Dean’s had a batman logo on it and Castiel’s had superman’s emblem. The few customers they’d had earlier had left, leaving them with the place to themselves.

“So, was the summer good enough?” Dean asked, looking honestly concerned. “Do you think you made enough to get through winter?”

Castiel smiled over his coffee. “Oh yes, we’ll be fine.” He considered Dean for a moment. “It was in no small part thanks to you,” he said. “You brought a lot of customers to the cafe. I hope they tipped you enough to make it worth your time, if they didn’t I can definitely afford to give you a bonus.”

Dean quickly shook his head. “Absolutely not. They tipped me well enough, and I want to make sure your business makes it to next summer. I’d be so disappointed if I couldn't come back.”

Castiel ducked his face into his oversized coffee mug. He felt so terribly conflicted. He hated to think that he wouldn’t see Dean every day for the next nine months. They’d had so much fun. But at the same time, he was never going to get over the man unless he got some distance.

He told himself that this was for the best. Dean would go live his life, and Castiel would live his. Maybe he’d even start dating again, without Dean there every day, reinforcing his impossible crush.

Castiel realized Dean was waiting for him to say something. “Well I intend to be here next summer, and I hope you’ll come back.”

A dazzling grin split Dean’s face. “Great, it can’t come soon enough.” He seemed to get nervous all of a sudden, and he glanced around the empty coffee shop. “Can I play a song for you? I’ve been working on a new cover.” He gave a little shrug. “My audience is gone, so it’s just you.”

Castiel quickly nodded, happy for one last song before Dean left. “Yes, definitely.”

Dean smiled, smaller this time, and picked up his guitar. He didn’t look at Cas, just focused on his fingers on the guitar strings. He started to strum, then soon began to sing, slow and gentle. “The first time… ever I saw your face, I thought the sun rose in your eyes.” His voice wavered a little with the emotion of the song. “And the moon and the stars… were the gifts you gave, to the dark, and the endless skies.”

Castiel was always captivated by Dean’s singing, but something about this was different. It was so intimate, knowing he was singing just for him.

Dean continued the song, still not looking at Castiel. “And the first time… ever I kissed your mouth. I felt the earth move in my hand.” Each strum of the guitar was delicate and slow, and Dean’s voice was quiet enough to meet it. Finally as he neared the end of the song he looked up at Castiel, his eyes cautious and searching. “And the first time… ever I lay with you. I felt your heart so close to mine. And I knew our joy would fill the earth. And last 'til the end of time. My love…”

Castiel sat in quiet rapture as the song ended, not able to say anything for a long time. He finally managed to get a few words out. “That was beautiful.”

Dean smiled and ducked his gaze, blushing faintly. “Thank you.” He glanced up at Castiel. “I’ve always loved that song, I’ve just never had the nerve to sing it for anyone.”

Castiel couldn’t understand why, Dean clearly knew the song well. “It was great, you should sing it more often.”

Dean was still giving Castiel a curious look. “So I guess I should get ready to head out,” he said, glancing around the empty cafe. “I know you close soon.”

Castiel slowly nodded. “Yeah. No rush though.”

Dean picked up his coffee and drained the last of it, before looking back at Castiel. “We had a lot of fun this summer,” he said, looking at Castiel with bright eyes. “I’d hate to go nine months without seeing you. Do you want to come over and watch a movie with me tonight? I just got a new TV, and I was going to pick up a couple Marvel movies on the way home.”

Castiel’s heart ached. All he wanted was to say yes. But he knew he couldn’t afford to be friends with Dean. If he kept hanging out with him, he would never move on. He’d be single and following Dean around like a puppy for the rest of his life.

So Castiel shook his head. “I’m sorry, I just have too much work to do,” he said, not able to look at Dean. “But you’re welcome to stop by for coffee any time.”

“Oh.” Dean sounded incredibly disappointed, and he was no longer looking at Castiel. “Ok, well I should go,” he said, quickly getting up and grabbing his guitar. “I’ll see you around, Cas.”

Castiel was startled to see Dean leave so quickly, and he could only sit there and watch him go. “Bye, Dean…” His heart ached as he watched Dean walk out the door.

When Dean was gone, he got up and headed for the front, intending to count out the till for the night.

He was startled to find Meg coming around the counter, looking absolutely furious.

“Meg?” Castiel frowned, not sure why she was so angry.

“You are a fucking idiot,” she snapped, marching up to Castiel. “I cannot believe it. He finally asked you out, and you shot him down. What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Castiel stood frozen in the middle of the cafe, staring at Meg. After a moment he managed to find his words. “What? He wasn’t asking me out, he doesn’t even know I’m gay!”

“Yes he does!” Meg exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration. “I fucking told him, okay? I couldn’t deal with you two morons pining for each other anymore, so I told him this morning that you’re super gay and he should totally ask you out.”

Cas gaped at her, shocked and horrified. “What else did you tell him?”

“I didn’t tell him about your stupid crush, I’m not that much of a bitch,” Meg said, shaking her head and pulling out her phone. “But clearly he likes you, and now you’ve fucked it all up.” She started tapping out something. “I’m texting your number to Jo so she can send you Dean’s address.”

Just as Meg shoved her phone back in her pocket, Castiel’s phone pinged with a text message from an unknown number.

Meg jabbed Castiel in the chest with a finger. “Now you listen to me. You’re going over there, right now, and you’re going to tell him you’re an idiot and an asshole and you fucking love him. Do you understand me?”

Castiel quickly nodded, conflicted between his fear of Meg and his dawning hope. Dean actually liked him? Could that really be possible?

“Now!” Meg snapped, startling Castiel into action.

Cas started to stumble backward, pulling the cafe keys out of his pocket and tossing them to Meg so she could close. He was almost to the door when Meg stopped him.

“Oh, and Cas,” Meg said. “You should know, Dean only knew the one Backstreet Boys song at the beginning of the summer. He learned the rest just because I told him you loved them.”

Castiel was stunned for a moment, before he hurried out of the cafe and jumped into his car. He pulled up Dean’s address in his phone as he turned the key in the ignition, immediately peeling out of the small parking lot.

—————

Dean didn’t even bother putting the Impala in the garage, he parked her in the driveway and stormed into the house, slamming the front door behind him. He had to resist the impulse to throw his guitar, instead he just carelessly dropped it on an armchair.

He stood in the middle of his living room for a moment, fighting the urge to punch a wall. Then he slumped back onto the couch, laying his head back and staring up at the ceiling.

He was a mess, heartbroken and humiliated. Meg had made it seem like it was such a sure thing with Cas, and for half a day he’d been so happy. He’d thought he really had a shot.

But Cas had turned him down, made it quite clear he wasn’t interested in more than whatever you wanted to call their friendly coffee shop relationship.

For a while there Dean had thought he’d have the chance to make up for missed opportunities. That he’d finally get to act on his high school crush.

And the worst part was it was so much more than a crush now. He’d barely gotten to know Cas in high school, but after this whole summer he knew what an amazing man he was. Kind and supportive, hard working and sincere.

Just not interested in Dean, apparently.

Dean was startled by a knock at the door. He ignored it for a minute, hoping whoever it was would just go away. But they knocked again, louder and more insistent this time.

Dean growled and got up, stomping over to the door. He yanked it open, snapping, “What—” just before he recognized Castiel. His heart clenched and his face shuttered, and he took a startled step backward. “Oh. What are you doing here?” His voice was uncharacteristically small, and he glanced away, not able to look into those blue eyes for more than a moment without feeling burned.

Castiel stared at him. “Dean, I—” he started, then stopped. He seemed at a loss for words for a moment, before finally blurting out, “I’m an idiot and an asshole.”

Dean rolled his eyes, still not looking at Castiel. “Look, I don’t need your pity or an apology. You’re not interested, it’s fine.” He felt sick to his stomach and just wanted to get away. “I’ll be fine, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

He started to close the door, but Castiel stopped him.

“Dean wait, please,” Castiel said, sounding desperate. “I didn’t mean to turn you down, I didn’t even realize you were asking me out.”

Dean felt a small flicker of hope, even as he tried to squash it. He finally looked up at Castiel, and he was surprised to see a mix of longing and fear on the other man’s face.

Cas stepped a little closer. “I thought you’d never return my feelings, I spent all summer convincing myself you didn’t and that I needed to move on.”

Dean felt his heart skip a beat, hope winning. “Your feelings?”

Castiel nodded, reaching out to take Dean’s hand in his. He searched Dean’s face for a moment before speaking. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Dean’s heart leapt with joy, and he felt his walls crumble as Castiel’s words sunk in. He gripped Castiel’s hand tightly. “I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with you, too,” he admitted.

Castiel grinned and Dean couldn’t wait any longer. He closed the small remaining distance and pressed a soft kiss to Castiel’s lips. It was gentle at first, then more intense as it deepened.

Castiel eventually pulled back. “Do you forgive me?” he asked, and he seemed to still be a little worried.

“Of course I do, you idiot,” Dean said, grinning and pulling Castiel in for another kiss. He dragged the man into his living room and pushed the door closed behind him. “Now come on, we have ten years to make up for.”

Dean grabbed Cas and shoved him down on the couch, quickly following to straddle his lap. He kissed him again, bringing their hips together to grind through their jeans. Cas groaned, and his hands found Dean’s ass, squeezing and pulling them closer.

Dean buried his fingers in Castiel’s hair, their tongues mingling together. Castiel grew more bold, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist and suddenly flipping them so that Dean was on his back on the couch. Dean moaned and arched up into Cas, loving the weight pressing down on him, and he felt the bulge in Castiel’s jeans grind against his ass.

“Oh shit,” Dean gasped, wrapping his legs around Castiel’s waist. “Want you to fuck me Cas, please…”

“Gonna need less clothes for that,” Castiel said, voice rough. He kissed Dean while he pushed his shirt up, fingers grazing his nipples and making him moan. Then the shirt was gone, and Castiel’s mouth was on his skin, trailing kisses down his chest.

“Oh fuck…” Dean’s hands grabbed at Castiel’s hair as he felt the man unzip his jeans, and the next thing he knew, his hard cock was enveloped in the wet heat of Castiel’s mouth. His strong hands pinned Dean’s hips to the couch as he sucked up and down the length, then his mouth was gone again as he sat up and pulled off the rest of Dean’s clothes.

Dean found himself naked under Cas, and it made his dick throb in anticipation. “We need stuff.”

Castiel pulled a packet of lube and a condom out of his pocket, looking bashful. “I grabbed them out of my glove box. I was hoping…”

Dean laughed, loving everything about Castiel’s mix of confidence and adorable awkwardness. He spread his legs a little further. “Then what are you waiting for?”

Cas grinned, leaning down for another quick kiss before his mouth moved lower again.

Dean moaned when Castiel’s lips returned to his cock, starting to suck again just as a slick finger breached him. Cas worked him open expertly, his mouth teasing his length while his fingers stretched him. Dean whined and squirmed under the attention, loving it and wanting more at the same time.

Finally Castiel seemed satisfied, and he pulled away from Dean. “Stay,” he ordered, quirking an eyebrow. He sat up, pulling his shirt over his head. His chest was beautifully defined, and Dean wanted to lick and touch, but he did as he was told and didn’t move from his spot. He was forced to watch as Cas stripped naked in front of him, and his hard cock was finally free. Dean’s eyes went wide, pleasantly surprised by how well endowed Castiel turned out to be.

Castiel leaned back over Dean, pushing his legs up and letting his hard cock brush against his entrance. “Are you ready?”

Dean moaned and tried to push down against the thick head teasing him. “Hell fucking yes.”

Castiel didn’t reply, just lined his cock up and started to gently push in.

Dean groaned, throwing his head back as Castiel’s cock sank into him. It felt so fucking good. “Yes, Cas, come on.” His hands went back to Castiel’s hair, tangling and tugging.

Castiel seemed to take the encouragement, starting to move inside him with steady thrusts. His strong weight pinned Dean to the couch as he drove into him, slowly increasing his speed. Each pass teased Dean’s prostate, making him cry out as bright pleasure raced through him. Dean knew that neither of them were going to last, they’d waited far too long for this.

Castiel’s mouth was moving over Dean’s neck, sucking and kissing. “I love you so much,” he murmured, starting to increase the speed of his thrusts.

Dean moaned as Castiel’s hips smacked his ass with each stroke, driving faster and deeper. “I love you too,” he gasped out, pulling Castiel’s face up so he could kiss him.

Castiel just groaned, thrusting faster still, nearly bending Dean in half in the search for the best angle.

“Oh fuck,” Dean gasped out, feeling his orgasm approaching. “Gonna come, Cas please…”

Castiel responded by switching to sharp, snapping thrusts. “Do it.”

Dean let out a long groan as his orgasm crashed through him, his untouched cock spilling all over his own chest. Cas fucked him through it, until he too was groaning, slamming into Dean as he reached his own orgasm and finally going still.

The two of them slumped into the couch together, Castiel still inside Dean and resting heavily on his chest. After a minute he finally pulled out, quickly discarding the condom before laying down on the couch next to him. He propped his head up on his elbow, looking down at Dean with a rather adorable expression on his face, full of love and fascination.

Dean felt himself start to blush under the intense scrutiny. “What?”

Castiel stared for a moment longer. “Did you really learn those Backstreet Boys songs for me?”

Dean laughed, his blush deepening. “Yeah, I kinda did. Meg told me how much you love them.”

Castiel looked a little embarrassed, but mostly pleased. “I hate her,” he said, but he didn’t sound angry at all, he actually sounded quite fond.

Dean laughed. “Yeah but I didn’t even get to play my favorite one for you, Meg never requested it.”

Castiel’s eyebrows rose. “Will you play it for me now?”

Dean grinned. “Yeah!” He didn’t care about his nudity at all as he jumped up and grabbed his guitar. The two of them rearranged themselves so they were sitting up facing each other, legs tangled under a blanket that had been draped over the back of the couch.

Dean gently strummed the guitar, starting to sing a slow acoustic arrangement. “I'll be the one.” He felt butterflies flip in his stomach as he sang for Cas. “There you were, wild and free, reaching out like you needed me. The helping hand, to make it right, I am holding you all through the night.”

Castiel was grinning and he looked happier than Dean ever remembered.

“You need me like I need you, we can share our dreams coming true.” Dean continue to sing, meaning every single word. “I can show you what true love means, just take my hand, baby please…”

Dean couldn’t resist leaning over his guitar to press a lingering kiss to Castiel’s lips between the verse and the chorus. Castiel’s eyes sparkled as Dean pulled away, their bright blue shining.

“I'll be the one, I’ll be the light. Where you can run, to make it alright.”

“I'll be the one.”

[Thank you for reading! Reblogs feed the muse. <3 Also on AO3]

[supernaturalmistress]

Spells N’ All

Chapter 3

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Angst, but soon turns to fluff af, Dean being a sweetheart mildly and a big baby. Some tears.

Summary: After the boys find out your a witch and you decide to leave them, they set out on a high search to look for you. So sorry I haven’t posted in forever gonna be completing this series at maybe 10 chapters. Starting to work on my new series, hope you like this one. Chapter 4 will be up tomorrow!

Deans POV

I just couldn't take it any longer. She was the love of my life and finding out she's a witch?! Oh, that put the icing on the cake. But that doesn't make me love her any less. She never knew how much I loved it when she laughed or talked, hell just her breathing was enough to get me going. I just don't know what to do. So I had to do what I do best, run away. I didn't want to have to face the fact that she was my one and only, but her wanting me to end her just...I was done. I had to get away before I confessed what I've been holding in since the day I saw her beautiful face. That I love her.

Your POV

It has been about 2 months since you left the boys. There was no sign of them coming to look for you anytime soon, and the life of a hunter wasn't all rainbows and cupcakes. I still had bills to pay and things to do. So you got a job at a local bar near my new apartment. I was staying in Texas for awhile just until everything died down. I forgot all my credit cards with the boys and Sam was always the one who made me new ones. He was my little tech nerd, but after awhile I had missed them.

You thought you would be fine but all you felt was as if a chunk of your heart was missing. And it was, those boys completed you. But it's not like they missed you at all. So you just worked and worked to get your mind off things. The bell at the door of the bar brought you out of your daze. You put on your best smile and turned around only to find the two handsome faces you've been missing this whole time.

Sam and Dean.

"Y/N! Oh my gosh there you are, we've missed you!" Sam said as he brought you into a crushing embrace. You couldn't bring your arms up to hug him back, but the smell of his cologne and musk mixture had you almost in tears. You pulled back and look the beautiful moose in the eyes.

"Oh Sam, I missed you guys too, I'm really sorry I haven't called or anything. Just life kept me busy."

"It's fine. we're just glad you're alright."

You looked around the tall devil only to see puppy eyes Dean looking back at you. He was a couple feet away but you could see something in his eyes you couldn't quite make out. He moved quickly towards you and hugged you tightly. You hesitated.

"Please Y/N/N, please hug me back."

You brought your arms up around his neck and held him close. The hug was long and needed. After a good time, Dean pulled back and unhooked the apron you were wearing and interlocked his hand with yours.

"C'mon, let's go."

Home. You've never felt so much relief in your entire life. The smell of dust and cool air filled your nose and you sat back and just bathed in it. Sam had gone to the library to do a little more research on something they were hunting. He had pretty much filled you in on the way back to the bunker. Dean offered to help you bring your things to your room.

As if they had never opened the door of your room since you left, the smell of your strawberry conditioner and VS perfume hit you like a bus.

"We uh, we left exactly how it was, just in case you did come back."

"I'm glad, thank you."

He set your bags down near your bed and started off back to the car to get more of your things, but you stopped him.

"Um, can I uh--ask you something." you said nervously.

"Sure."

"Do you, h-hate me?"

There was a scary silence between you two, and he looked out of the door into the hall the slowly closed the door to your room.

"No, Y/N why would you even think that?"

"Well, I just, after what happened, I guess I would hate me." you said with a slight laugh.

"Well uh, I can promise you I don't. he sounded a bit pissed and agitated.

“But, I did drink quite a lot after you left.”

You were at a loss for words. Really?

"Oh wow, I’m sorry D.”

“Don’t be, I just needed something to ease the pain, but now that your back, I don’t think I’ll have that problem anymore.” He gave a slight smile.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t but um, I really just wanted to say thanks for having me back, I was really missing you guys. I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with me."

He stood there for a second then move closer to you. He put his rough but gentle hands on both of your shoulders and looked you hard in the eye.

"Y/N, you are our family, I see that now. You always will be. Yeah, I was upset about the whole thing, but I could never hate you, ever. I...It was so hard without you here, just thinking was hard. You were always my little helper, telling me where my missing things were, always knowing what I needed, when I needed it, how to take care of me. You just..completed me. We really needed you Y/N/N, I needed you."

His words made your stomach curl. You tried to stop the tears from coming but they were already out. You sank down onto your bed and he sat down next to you and rubbed you back.

"Y/N what's wrong, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I just--No ones ever really said or acted like they needed me before." Let alone the only man I’ve ever loved.

"Well I do, Sam and me both."

You sniffled and shook your head responding with yes. He tucked a few strands behind your ear and patted your back once more.

"So, a witch huh?"

"Uh yep, a witch."

"So you got the pointy hat, nose with spells and everything?

You chuckled. God had he missed that laugh of yours.

"No hat or nose, but I got spells n' all that." you said with a smile.

[teamfreewill-imagine]

I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Eighteen

Summary:  You talk through the idea of being adopted by the Ackles’ with Jared and Gen. Jared has reservations, but realising the reasoning behind it helps all of you make your decision. Words: 3k Jared x Reader x Gen, Jensen, Danneel, JJ, Kim, Briana Warnings: uncomfortable conversations, mild angst Beta: @blacksiren

I Know Your Wife - Masterpost

Your name: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', myHandler); function myHandler() { var v = document.body.innerHTML; var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt").value; v = v.replace(/\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, input); document.body.innerHTML = v; } // ]]>

Jensen escorted you to the Padalecki house despite your insistence that you could walk over on your own.

The incident with your mom in the airport was still fresh in his mind, it seemed.

Gen was in the yard with the boys, tending to the chickens, and you were grateful to have some time alone with Jared once Jensen had left.

“You feeling better?” Jared asked as the two of you walked through to the kitchen so you could get some water.

“Much,” you assured him, hopping up onto the counter beside the fridge.

“Yeah?” he asked, handing you a bottle with a hopeful expression.

“Yep,” you confirmed, grinning as you twisted the cap. “Baby Dits kicked this morning.”

His entire face lit up with wonder as his hands instantly reached for the hem of your (well, his - you were wearing his clothes again) tee.

You let your legs fall open so he could step between them, lifting your shirt so that his hands could cover your stomach.

“My baby gettin’ restless in there?” he asked, and you nodded.

“JJ was talking to the bump and it just… happened,” you smiled, taking a sip of water. “It was weird.”

He was positively giddy as he crouched down so he was level with your belly.

“Hey, baby,” he spoke quietly, trying to contain his excitement. “It’s your daddy. I hear you’ve been movin’ around in there. Wanna put on a lil’ show for me?”

There wasn’t so much as a flutter and you sighed, carding your fingers into his hair.

“Must be worn out after all that kicking earlier,” you reasoned, and he shook his head, moving even closer so that his lips were almost touching your skin.

“C’mon, baby,” he insisted, feeling around your bump. “Move for Papa.”

Still nothing.

You could sense his frustration, and you desperately wanted to share this with him, but there was nothing you could do to help him.

“So, what, you like JJ better than you like Daddy, huh?” he complained, still talking to the baby. “You’ll move for Justice Jay Ackles but not for the man who brought you to life, is that how it is?”

“Baby Dits loves Auntie Tex, what can I say?” you offered, apologetically.

“And you don’t love your daddy, huh?” he complained again.

His tone was teasing, but you could sense his hurt.

“Should I be concerned that you’re trying to convince our baby to kick me?” you asked, trying to lighten the mood.

He looked up at you, catching the concern in your expression before he let out a soft laugh, straightening up.

His hands reluctantly left your bump to cup your cheeks, pulling you into a kiss.

“Our baby,” he repeated, murmuring against your lips. “I love the sound of that.”

You smiled, kissing him again as you wrapped your legs around his.

“Not gonna love the sound of it when it’s 3am, we haven’t slept properly in weeks, and we have to be on set at seven,” you reminded him, and he laughed as he pulled back.

“I’ll just run back across to my own trailer and leave you with the screaming baby,” he teased, and you cleared your throat, nodding.

You knew that was the perfect time to bring up the idea of moving, so you took another sip of water as you built up the courage.

“I’ve been thinking,” you began as he stepped away, holding out his hand to you and helping you down from the counter.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” he teased, and you rolled your eyes, letting him lead you through to the front room.

“I’m serious,” you told him, deciding to wait until you were sat down before continuing the conversation.

To your surprise, Jared took a seat in the armchair, pulling you down to sit across his lap.

“So,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around you, “What have you been thinking about?”

You took a deep breath, leaning back into him so you had an excuse to avoid eye contact.

“Living arrangements,” you admitted.

You could feel him nodding, his arms flexing around you.

“Right,” he prompted, and you sighed.

“I don’t want my baby growing up in a trailer,” you explained. “Even if this is my last season on the show, for this baby’s first few months… I want a home.”

He didn’t reply for a moment as your heart hammered in your chest, nervous for his reaction.

“Can you elaborate?” he requested, softly. “I’m not sure I totally understand.”

“Yeah,” you laughed gently, realising that you were being unnecessarily ominous.

Communication was key in this relationship, and you didn’t need to sabotage everything you’d built just by hedging the subject.

“I want to get a place in Vancouver,” you explained. “I’ve been looking into it, and I’ve found a couple apartments in my budget. Big enough for me and Baby Dits to be comfortable.”

“Okay,” he murmured, one hand spreading protectively over your stomach. “And… what about me?”

“You can stay with us, too,” you shrugged. “Especially when the baby is little and crying all the time. You’re not getting out of Daddy Duty by hiding in your trailer, Sur.”

You felt him nod again, but you could feel that there was something still unspoken hanging between you.

“Y/N… I have a family here,” he murmured, and you frowned slightly until you realised the weight behind the words.

He thought you were asking him to choose.

“And we’ll still be here for hiatus, and vacations,” you continued, feeling him relax at your clarification. “The places I’ve been looking at have three bedrooms, so if we’re filming and the boys don’t have school... It won’t be as roomy as this place, but we could be together.”

Jared placed a kiss just below your ear, and you flinched slightly at the scratch of scruff on your neck.

“I want a place - I need a place - that’s mine,” you told him, turning your head to look at him. “I can’t explain why, but it’s important to me that I do this.”

He nodded, reading your expression with a soft gaze.

“So you don’t want me to help?” he clarified. “Financially?”

You shook your head, answering before he had a chance to protest.

“When I officially move in here, after the baby,” you began, holding eye contact, “And for vacations and stuff, you’re not expecting me to pay rent.”

You’d discussed your post-baby living situation when you agreed to move to Austin with them.

Once Baby Ditto was born, everyone would know Jared was the father and, no matter what people thought of you because of it, you wouldn’t have to sneak around anymore.

“Of course not,” he frowned, and you nodded.

“Right,” you agreed. “So you shouldn’t have to pay anything for my place.”

He didn’t look convinced, so you decided to change tactic.

You shifted in his lap until you were straddling his legs, your fingers scritching the nape of his neck softly.

“We’re a partnership, right?” you asked. “We’re equals in this?”

“Right,” he confirmed, his hands naturally finding your waist.

“So… you pay for the Austin house, I pay for the ‘Couver apartment,” you explained, simply. “Partnership.”

He nodded slowly, and you leant in to place a gentle and chaste kiss to his lips.

“I know your inner caveman wants to provide for your family, but you already do so much,” you told him. “Let me have this?”

You held your breath as you awaited his response, and he exhaled slowly.

“Okay,” he agreed, his eyes flicking between your own. “You want to do this, I support you.”

You grinned, kissing him firmer this time as you wrapped your arms around him.

“Thank you,” you murmured between kisses. “I can’t explain it, but it means a lot to me.”

“If it’s important to you, it’s important to me,” he reminded you, resting his forehead to yours. “Thank you for including Gen and the boys in your plans.”

You smiled, pulling away and sitting back on his knees.

“If it’s important to you, it’s important to me,” you repeated, and he laughed softly, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Partners?” he asked, offering you his little finger.

You linked your pinky with his, pressing your lips to the knuckle of your thumb.

“Partners.”

You realised, over a picnic lunch in the garden with Gen and the boys, that you should tell them about the whole adoption thing.

You knew that Jared saw Jensen as a brother, so for you to have him as a father… it was definitely something you needed to discuss before making a final decision.

After you’d eaten, Tom and Shep were playing with the dogs out on the lawn while you, Jared, and Gen watched on from the porch.

“Baby Dits will be running around with them in a couple years,” Gen commented, and you laughed slightly.

“Hopefully by then Baby Dits will have a better name,” you mused, yet another thing you needed to discuss.

Jared shrugged.

“We’ve got months to come up with a kickass name,” he reminded you. “And Baby Ditto is cool anyway.”

Gen nodded in agreement, and you rolled your eyes, knowing from conversations with both of them that Jared liked to wait until the last month or two to seriously talk about what to name his kids.

“Speaking of names,” you began, knowing it was a bit of a segue but not sure of another way to bring it up, “How would you guys feel about me becoming an Ackles?”

You were looking out onto the lawn so that you didn’t have to make eye contact, not wanting to see their initial reactions in case they weren’t positive.

“Y/N, babe, you’re being really ambiguous today,” Jared pointed out, and you looked across at him to find him frowning in confusion. “What do you mean?”

You swallowed, nodding to yourself.

“Sorry, I-” you cleared your throat, your eyes flitting between the two of them, focussing on nothing in particular. “What would you think about Jensen and Danneel adopting me?”

For a moment neither of them reacted, but then Gen sat forward in her chair.

“For real?” she asked. “Like, officially?”

“That’s the idea,” you confirmed, and she grinned.

“Sweetie, that’s incredible,” she told you. “When?”

You looked over at Jared, trying to figure out what he was thinking as he stared straight ahead.

“As soon as I decide whether I want to be adopted,” you murmured, desperate for him to make his feelings known so that you didn’t have to keep assuming the worst.

“I think it makes sense,” Gen prompted her husband, realising you were waiting for him to okay the idea. “It would take away your… your birth mom’s rights, wouldn’t it? She wouldn’t have any power over you, any legal connection?”

Jared looked up at that, looking at Gen before meeting your worried gaze.

“That’s… is that right?” he asked, and you nodded.

“All ties to my previous parents or guardians will be ‘severed’, apparently,” you explained. “She’d have no rights as mother or grandmother.”

“Do it,” Jared told you, instantly.

The suddenness took you by surprise, but he was looking at you with such sincerity that you knew he was serious.

“If it gets her out of your life for good, you should do it,” he reiterated. “I don’t want her to have anything to do with you or our baby.”

You nodded, knowing exactly how that felt.

“And the fact that Jay and Dan would be my parents?” you pressed, and he took a breath, nodding.

“That’s… I’ll get over it,” he told you, shrugging one shoulder. “It’ll be a bit weird, but I can deal with weird if you’re happy and we’re free of your- of her.”

“The main purpose of the whole adoption is to cut her out and change my name,” you assured him. “My relationship with them won’t change much from what it is now.”

“I really think you should do it,” Gen told you, smiling kindly. “If it’s what you want, and you’ll be happy, you should go for it. Become an Ackles.”

Jared nodded, finally cracking a smile.

“You just want to be able to say you’ve bedded an Ackles,” he teased, and Gen winked at you.

“That’s definitely a bonus,” she agreed, “But the main factor is that you’ll lose your mom’s name.”

You sighed, thinking back to Asylum when you told the fan that your surname will end with you.

Once you’re adopted, it wouldn’t even get that far. It would end with her.

“Her name wouldn’t be anywhere near Baby Ditto’s birth certificate,” you agreed, and Jared frowned.

“Wait, so the baby would be an Ackles, too?” he asked, but you shook your head.

“Oh, no. This baby has been a Padalecki since it was conceived, I’m not changing that now,” you promised. “I meant my name on the certificate. Baby Dits’ mother will be an Ackles, no connection to my mom.”

He nodded in understanding, and a slow smiled grew on Genevieve’s face.

“What?” Jared asked, and she shrugged.

“Just thinking,” she grinned. “Baby Ditto’s parents are a Padalecki and an Ackles.”

You frowned fondly, confused as to where she was going with this train of thought.

She laughed, leaning over to pat your bump and kiss your cheek.

“You’re carrying a Padackles.”

Talks with the Ackles family lawyer began the very next day, everyone keen to get the adoption finalised as soon as possible.

You were relieved when it turned out that your mom didn’t have to consent to the adoption; she wouldn’t even have to be informed, meaning that there was no way she could fuck this up for you.

Apparently, it usually took around sixty days for applications to go through but, given the circumstances and how keen all of you were to get it done, yours was likely to go through in thirty.

A brief court appearance in a month’s time, then you’d officially be an Ackles.

You couldn’t quite believe the simplicity of it.

At Phoenix Con, you, Jensen, and Jared kept the adoption a secret between the three of you.

You trusted other cast members - in fact, you desperately wanted to tell Kim and Briana when they took you on another ‘Hot Supernatural Mamas’ lunch - but you were aware that if more people knew, there would be more of a chance of your mom finding out about it.

You couldn’t risk another confrontation in the airport on your way back.

You managed to keep the secret from the fans without any slip-ups, which was somewhat of a surprise looking at Jared’s terrible secret-keeping record.

To be honest, most of the fans were too distracted by the fact that you finally had a visible bump to ask any leading questions that you didn’t want to answer.

Danneel and Gen had taken you shopping for maternity clothes before you left and, despite your reservations, you didn’t hate the clothes you returned with.

When you pictured maternity wear in your head, it was frumpy dresses with frills over the bump, unflattering patterns and ugly colours.

As it turned out, your views were archaic.

All of the clothes were just… normal clothes with room for your growing bump and boobs.

That was something you thought would be a perk of pregnancy - your boobs getting a little bigger.

Oh, how wrong you were.

The difference in cup size was nowhere near worth the painful sensitivity of your chest.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Gen had told you when you complained about it, “They look great.”

You’d rolled your eyes and made some sarcastic remark about how pointless it was for them to look good if it hurt to touch them, at which point Danneel had told the two of you to stop flirting while she was around.

“My best friend hitting on my almost-daughter isn't something I need to witness,” she reminded Gen, who had shrugged in response.

“She was with me before she was your daughter,” she shot back, a grin firmly plastered on her face as Danneel had relented, putting her arm around you and leading you in the direction of maternity swimwear.

You hadn't even realised that was a thing.

All in all, it had been an eventful shopping adventure/learning experience.

Jared and Jensen didn't let you out of their sight when you got back to the airport in Austin.

For once, you were grateful for their overprotectiveness.

Logically, you knew that she wouldn't try anything again so soon, but the knowledge that they were right there with you made the experience much calmer.

Fans were kept away from you by the security team, and Jared left you and Jensen briefly to explain that you’d had a bad experience with ‘someone’ in an airport so you had to protect yourself and your baby.

Luckily, they were all understanding and just wished you well.

You supposed that the reason they were all so cool about it was that they must live nearby anyway. There was always a ‘chance’, however small, of running into the three of you out in the city.

Gen and the boys were at the Ackles house when you returned, and checking that you were okay was the top priority for all of them.

Predictably, JJ didn't leave your side at all for the rest of the day.

You didn't mind that at all. In fact, you turned down an invitation to sleep at the Padalecki’s in order to have more Ditto and Tex time.

Your little meltdown on her birthday was still at the forefront of your mind and, even though she had forgiven you and forgotten all about it by now, you wanted to do everything possible to remind her that she was your priority, too.

So, instead of a sleepover with Jared and Gen, you had a slumber party with JJ.

The sacrifice was worth it when she fell asleep with her head on your shoulder and her hand on your bump.

tags are closed because this always takes me 20 years

@purgatoan, @thelittleredwhocould, @sammylynne321, @ariannalikescake, @writergirl909, @vinylwinchesters, @thisisthelilith, @tlb-kylie, @allinhishands, @winchester-gospels-67, @supernatural0826, @greek-geek481, @mija-novella, @nerdysandwichqueen, @gemini75eeyore, @imaginespnr5er, @green-love-red-fantasyhearts, @kelsey-spn, @lafayettrash, @emoryhemsworth, @dearnoonethisisurlovesong, @spnolivia, @remybosslika, @ruined-by-destiel, @fernandasvaldi, @kickasscas67, @theplaidshirtmadness, @quilliamfears, @charity-elizabeth, @haleyhay96, @latinenglishfandomblog, @smoothdogsgirl, @chelseypaigeake, @katymacsupernatural, @prideandprejudiceandbrendonurie, @tiffanycaruso, @juliaschminke, @breakthesociety, @jpadjackles, @lakama15, @lookalivewinchester221b, @abbirae99, @hiddenwritingsintheworld, @karrington7, @leyhikawinchester, @youcanhavit, @faegal04, @ellen-reincarnated1967, @avengersgirllorianna, @burgundycastiel, @mint-and-pastel-pink, @feelmyroarrrr, @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid, @obi-wan-my-only-ho, @aprofoundbondwithdean, @clueless-gold, @trashforwinchesters, @raeeismee, @supernaturalsuperfreakfan, @blacktithe7, @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki, @supernaturalstarbug, @pinkbunnies2001, @madelineannmolder, @danijimenezv, @h4izel, @missbabyfae, @bovaria, @impalaimagining, @im-super-potter-locked, @samcentric-fics, @oriona75, @samsexualdeancurious, @butiaintgonnaloveem, @atc74, @too-much-winchester, @aquabrie, @taylorlaurenthomas, @crowleysaveme, @missvengeance93, @flawsweirdo, @a-queen-and-her-throne, @maxwellthemajestickoala, @castielsgrace-idjits, @typicalweirdbookworm, @relationshipyard, @supernaturalismalife, @screechingfangirlnerd, @aeryntheofficial, @letsfrickfrackhemmings, @summerbee53, @cfordwrites, @pinolief2001, @im-beautifully-sewn, @clariedelalune, @xlarryisreallovex, @archer-whovian-violinist, @asgardianvamp21, @shadowpriestess6, @writingbeautifulmen, @l8nitl0vr, @wificrazymisfit, @buckybarnesisalittleshit

[emospritelet]

Pixie Dust - chapter 16

Two fluffy chapters in a row.  I’ll probably have to kill someone.  Still, angst and smut are hovering on the horizon, so there’s that :)

Anyway, the festive season is in full swing, and Neal and Ruby attempt to match-make

Also on AO3

Christmas Day began early, with warm cinnamon pastries and coffee, and the exchange of presents: books and music, chocolates and knitwear, whisky and wine.  Belle started on the turkey as Neal and Gold cleared away crumpled patterned paper and ribbons, their gifts sitting in piles waiting to be taken to their rooms.  Bringing the meal together was a feat of organisation and impeccable timing, but it was one she enjoyed, and she and Gold prepared roast potatoes, wedges of roasted squash and buttered collard greens.  There were pigs in blankets, crisp and chewy with bacon fat, spiced red cabbage cooked with red wine and apples, and a rich chestnut stuffing with fresh sage and thyme.  They sat down to eat at just after two, and even Neal was quiet as they ate their fill of the turkey and trimmings.  Belle drank a glass of champagne and another of red wine, the flavours of roasted meat making her mouth water, the alcohol flushing her cheeks.

Eventually they had eaten enough, and Belle caught Gold’s eye, grinning happily as she cleared her plate of the last of the turkey, and sat back with a sigh.

“That,” declared Neal, “was awesome!  Ten out of ten, you guys.”

“My pleasure,” said Belle, holding out her glass for Gold to fill.  “Although I don’t think I can move now.”

“Neal and I can wash up,” said Gold, ignoring Neal’s grumble.

“Can I have cake first?” he asked, and Gold sighed.

“Do you have hollow legs or something?”

“Yep.”  Neal winked at him.  “Just waiting to be filled with chocolate buttercream.  Come on, you know you want a piece!”

Gold winked at him, and Belle rolled her eyes.

“I’ll get it,” she sighed.

She cut three slices of the chocolate Yule log, putting them on plates with a scoop of thick brandy cream.  They all dug in, Gold and Neal making noises of enjoyment, which were cut off by the ringing of Neal’s phone.  He groaned, licking chocolate from his thumb and swiping the screen to answer.

“Hey Mum.”  Neal pushed up from the table.  “Yeah, Merry Christmas.  I tried to call earlier.”

He began pacing back and forth, before going out into the hall, but Gold and Belle could still hear one side of the conversation.

“Nah, it’s cool.  Dad and Belle did a kickass turkey, and now we’re having cake.”  There was a pause.  “Belle.  Dad’s roommate.  No, Belle.”  Another pause.  “Yes, obviously she’s a woman.”

Belle and Gold glanced at one another, amused.

“I don’t know, early twenties?  Why?”  Silence.  “Look, Mum, that’s not…”  There was a sigh.  “No.  Look, did you like your present?  Uh-huh?”  A pause.  “Great.  Yeah, thanks, I got the cash.”  Another long-suffering sigh.  “Fine, tell him I said hi.  Yeah, okay.  Love you.  Merry Christmas!”

Gold smirked a little, turning back to his cake, and Neal came back in the room, muttering under his breath.

“Is your mother well?” asked Gold, and Neal wrinkled his nose.

“Kinda drunk, I think,” he said.  “But yeah.”  He sat down at the table, picking up his spoon.  “Very interested to know what you’re doing ‘shacked up with a woman half your age like some old pervert’.  Her words, not mine.”

Belle giggled, ducking her head as she blushed, and Gold rolled his eyes.

“Charming as ever, I see,” he said dryly, and Neal shrugged.

“Yeah, well, you know how she is,” he said, cutting a piece of cake.  “She hates to think you might actually be enjoying yourself.”

Gold smirked.  “How unfortunate,” he said, and licked cream from his spoon.

Belle relaxed in the lounge after dinner, Gold and Neal cleaning up the kitchen while she sat back and drank a gin and tonic, her feet up on cushions.  They talked until late, the fire crackling in the background, music playing, and despite the lack of glamorous guests, expensive outfits and perfectly presented food, it was the best Christmas she had had in years.  It was like feeling part of a family again.

Neal flopped down on the couch next to her as the clock ticked towards eleven, and Gold walked back into the lounge from the kitchen, carrying fresh drinks.  Brandy swirled in the glasses, and Belle stood up to take hers.  Neal gestured at the ceiling light with a can of beer.

“I hung mistletoe from that thing days ago, and you guys aren’t following tradition,” he complained.

“You know, you can kiss a parent on the cheek without the need for a poisonous parasite hanging around,” said Gold dryly.

“Tell that to Killian,” grumbled Neal, and Belle giggled.

“Besides,” he added.  “I wasn’t about to kiss you, Pops, I was saying Belle should.  You know, since you’re too chicken to kiss her.”

Gold shot him a warning look, but Belle rolled her eyes.

“Fine,” she said, feeling wonderfully tipsy and uninhibited.  “I guess if it’s tradition…”

She turned to Gold, rising up on her toes, and kissed his cheek, making him blink rapidly.

“Lame…” said Neal, and took a swig of his beer.  “Come on, you can do better than that!”

“You’re grounded,” said Gold evenly.

“No, I’m not!”  Neal huffed air out through his lips, harrumphing like a horse, and Gold looked as though he was trying not to smile.

“Fine, then you’re cut off.  How many of my beers have you drunk, anyway?”

“Come on!” complained Neal spreading his hands.  “Don’t be a jerk, it’s Christmas!”

Gold glanced at Belle, and she grinned up at him, enjoying the teasing.  He looked nervous, and the smile fell from her face a little.  Oh.  Right.  Of course he doesn’t want to kiss you, you idiot.  It was a job, remember?  It meant nothing.

“You won’t burst into flames, Dad,” said Neal dryly and it was Gold’s turn to roll his eyes.  He reached up a little hesitantly, and cupped Belle’s cheek with a warm hand.  She could smell soap on his hands, and a faint hint of his own scent.  He shifted his feet, bending to press a kiss to her forehead, and she felt a shiver go through her at the feel of his lips on her skin.

“Guess I’m never getting a kid brother,” muttered Neal.

“Neal!”

“Kidding!  Lighten up!”  He pushed up off the couch, winking at them.  “Anyone for snacks?”

He wandered through to the kitchen, and Gold and Belle glanced on one another, before breaking into nervous smiles.  He gestured to the couch, and she sat down, cupping her brandy glass in her hands.

“Sorry about that,” he said, sitting beside her.

“It’s fine, I didn’t mind.”  She chuckled, sipping her brandy, and glanced across at him.  “Did you enjoy today?  I had a great time!”

“I probably put on about ten pounds, but yes.”

She giggled again, and clinked her glass against his.

“So that’s Christmas done,” she said regretfully.  “I guess we have to look forward to New Year.”

Gold had to work again the next night, and although Neal expressed surprise at some kid being eager enough to want a tutoring session during the holidays, he didn’t seem to think anything further about it.  Belle distracted herself from worrying while Gold was gone by planning for Ruby’s visit.  Ruby had said that she and Archie were driving up from Boston, and would be staying with Granny until after the New Year.  She reported nothing out of the ordinary; Gaston had been to visit again, to try to get her to tell him where Belle was, but she had sent him away with a tirade of insults, and had not seen him since.

Gold offered to take them to Granny’s for dinner while they waited for Ruby to arrive that night, and so they crowded around a table while Granny served up plates of steak and ribs and chicken.  Belle drank a beer with her meal, keeping an eye out for her friend, and was rewarded with a flash of red at the windows as Ruby and Archie passed by.  She pushed back her chair, leaping up, and ran to hug Ruby as she entered the diner.

“Oh my God!”  Ruby squeezed her.  “You look great!  Merry Christmas, or Happy New Year, or whatever the hell it is right now!”

Belle laughed, hugging her again.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you!  I tried calling, but I couldn’t get an answer.”

Ruby drew back pulling a face.

“Some asshole went in my bag when we were eating lunch,” she said regretfully.  “Stole my phone and my money.  I didn’t notice until we were almost into Maine.  Bastards.”

“We’ll get you a new phone tomorrow,” Archie assured her, leaning in to hug Belle, his glasses a little askew as he pulled back.

Pongo, Archie’s Dalmatian, was snuffling at her fingers, and she patted his head, gesturing to where Gold and Neal were sitting.

“Have you eaten?  We were just finishing up.”

“We ate on the way,” said Archie.

“Ready for a drink, though,” added Ruby, and Archie nodded with a smile as Granny came bustling over and pulled Ruby into a firm hug.

Gold and Archie got along very well, although Belle couldn’t imagine anyone not liking Archie, and Ruby and Neal settled for gently teasing one another, so Belle figured that her friends had been accepted into the family.  The next day Neal decided to spend some time with his friends, and so the others went for a walk along the snow-covered trails where Belle usually ran, Pongo quartering back and forth with his nose to the ground.  Ruby linked her arm through Belle’s as they walked, letting out a contented sigh as birds chirped and cawed in the trees above.  Gold was walking with his hands in his pockets up ahead of them, Archie by his side.  It sounded as though they were discussing psychology.

“They seem to be getting along,” remarked Ruby.

“I’m glad,” said Belle.  “It’s good to have you guys here for a few days.”

“Yeah, I’d forgotten how relaxing this place can be,” said Ruby looking around.  “Pongo’s in his element with all these woods.  We should visit more often.”

“No arguments from me,” said Belle, grinning at her, and they walked along a little further.

“So,” said Ruby glancing across at her.  “When are you gonna tell him?”

“Tell him what?” asked Belle, and Ruby rolled her eyes.

“You know, that you’re completely in love with him and want to have like four dozen of his babies.”  She stuck out her tongue as Belle looked outraged.  “Come on, don’t look like that!  I’m right and you know it!”

Belle opened her mouth to protest, but gave it up, sagging slightly.

“It’s complicated,” she said finally, and Ruby sighed.

“Look, that Gaston thing’s a bitch, I get that,” she said.  “But there’s no reason you can’t start thinking about the future.  At least talk to him about it.  If I catch the pair of you gazing longingly at each other once more I may just throw up.  Or lock you in the walk-in freezer at Granny’s.”

“Great,” said Belle dryly.  “You’d attempt to give your best friend hypothermia to prove a point?”

“You guys would totally share body heat, bang each other stupid, blow the refrigeration system and defrost all the lasagne,” said Ruby, grinning, and squawked as Belle shoved her.

“It’s not like that, anyway,” said Belle.  “We do not ‘gaze longingly at each other’.”

“Not when the other one’s looking, no.”

“I don’t even know if he likes me that way,” she added.  “Besides, he has crap going on in his life too.  Things he needs to close other people off from.”

“Like what?” asked Ruby curiously, and Belle shook her head.

“Just - just trust me when I say it’s complicated,” she said.  “There are - barriers - to us being together, on both sides.  I’m not sure I could get past them, and I don’t know if he even wants me to.”

Ruby sighed.

“At least tell me you’ll think about it when you finally get rid of the two hundred pound talking turd you married,” she said, and Belle giggled.

“Deal.”

The holidays passed all too quickly, and New Year’s Eve was upon them almost before Belle could take a breath.  She dressed carefully for the party at Granny’s in a dark red dress with matching lipstick, her hair twisted up on her head and high-heeled shoes that looked fantastic but made walking the frozen streets something of an adventure.  The diner, when they reached it, was filled with townsfolk chatting and laughing, and Belle hurried to hug Ruby and Archie as they pushed through the crowd.  Merida and Mulan had already started dancing, not letting a lack of music put them off, and Merida was singing an upbeat song in a heavy Scottish accent as they spun around.  Trestle tables were set up outside, loaded with plates of chicken wings and sandwiches and bowls of potato salad, chips and dip.  The air was freezing, but Granny had set up heaters around the tables and dance area, and the milling townsfolk provided further shelter from the cold.

It was the busiest Belle had seen the diner since getting to Storybrooke, and she was finding it a little much until Ruby pulled her away from the crowds around the buffet tables and towards the open area where the dancing would soon start.  A trio of short men were setting up their instruments, two others bringing amplifiers over, and Ruby grinned and bounced on her toes, clinking her glass against Belle’s.

“So,” she said.  “New Year, new start, right?  You feeling positive?”

Belle pursed her lips.  “Well, I have to meet with Gaston and the lawyers in a week,” she said.  “So maybe it’s a sign.  Maybe this will be the year I actually move forward.”

“You think Gaston’s going to cause a stink?” asked Ruby, and Belle sighed.

“I know it,” she said gloomily.  “Honestly, I’m dreading having to see him, but if it gets things over more quickly, it’ll be worth it.  Maybe if I settle for less he’ll be willing to let me go without a fight, I really don’t want to have to drag the thing through the courts.”

“You shouldn’t let him get away with not giving you what you’re owed,” said Ruby, and Belle shrugged.

“I know, I just want it over with,  This whole thing has been a nightmare.”

“Is he still seeing that woman?” asked Ruby.

“No idea,” said Belle, pulling a face.  “Probably.  God, she can have him!”

“That’s the spirit!”

There was the strum of a guitar, and she and Ruby jumped and looked around before giggling.  Belle kissed her cheek.

“I refuse to be depressed about my crappy soon-to-be-ex tonight,” she announced.  “We need less moping and more drinking, what do you say?”

“Here comes my man, right on cue.”  Ruby nodded to Archie, who had appeared with two glasses of wine in his hands.  She drained her glass, and Belle nudged her.

“Okay, so when are you two tying the knot?”

“When he asks me,” said Ruby coyly.  “If I don’t get tired of waiting and ask him first, of course.”

She grinned, reaching for one of the wine glasses as Archie approached, and leaning to kiss his cheek.

“Belle, I thought you might like a drink,” he said, handing her the other glass.

“You thought correctly.”  She kissed his other cheek, so that he sported matching lipstick prints.  “Now dance with your girlfriend.  I’m gonna mingle.”

Granny’s New Year’s Eve party was very different to what Belle was used to.  It was hectic and confused and filled with raucous laughter and occasionally terrible dancing.  Most people attended in their best clothes, tugging their collars and swirling their skirts and showing off new shoes that they would no doubt be cursing later in the evening.  And some attended in their everyday things: frayed jeans and plaid shirts and plain dresses, and had just as good a time as those that had dressed up.  Everyone drank a little too much and danced and sang, and she found herself being spun around by people she had never even spoken to.  The music was lively, guitar and fiddle, bass and drums, the band playing folk and bluegrass, and Belle danced until she was breathless.  It was a wonderful, noisy, glorious mess, and she loved it.

After a couple of hours of dancing and chatting and drinking, the band struck up a slower tune, and she found herself at the edge of the temporary dance area, a glass of punch in her hand.  She suspected that drinking the punch was the best way to ensure a hangover the next day, but Merida had insisted, and it actually tasted pretty good.  She watched, smiling, as Mulan and Merida danced an exaggerated waltz, both bright-eyed and flushed with alcohol.

“Care to dance?”

Gold’s voice made her smile, and she turned to face him.

“Having a good time?” she asked, and he gave her a tiny grin.

“Surprisingly, yes,” he admitted.  “I had a somewhat heated discussion with Archie about twentieth century American literature.  No blood was spilled, but it was a close-run thing.”

Belle laughed out loud at the image of he and Archie fighting.  Gold took a swig of his drink, and set the glass down on a nearby table, holding out a hand to her.

“You say he used to work in my field?” he asked, and she nodded, setting her glass next to his and taking his offered hand.

“So Ruby says.  For your agency, no less.  That’s how I got the number.”

“It’s strange,” he mused.  “I find myself wanting to talk to him about it, even though I barely know him.”

“Yeah, Archie has that effect on people,” she said knowingly, as he pulled her a little closer.  “He and Ruby met in a bar when she’d caught her ex cheating on her.  She ended up telling him her entire life history over Long Island Iced Teas and nachos.”

He chuckled at that, his hand sliding around her waist as hers slid up to his shoulder.

“Well, they seem very happy.”

“Yeah.”  Belle shot the couple a fond look.  “Opposites attract, right?”

“Sometimes.”  He began to move, turning with her in a series of small steps.  “Not always for the best, though.”

“Well, that’s true,” sighed Belle, thinking of Gaston.  “I’m glad it worked out for them, though.  True love won out.”

“So it would appear.”

There was silence for a moment, and they settled into the slow rhythm of the dance.  She could feel the heat of him through his shirt, and it was making her a little breathless.

“Ruby must be an understanding woman,” he said then.  “His - well, his other profession being what it was.”

“He gave it up when they got together,” said Belle.  “She’s cool with it, though.  Ruby never judges people on their pasts.  Unless they hurt a friend of hers, in which case they don’t get a second chance.  Ever.”

“Hmm.”  He looked amused.  “A good friend to have on your side then?”

“The best,” she said lightly.  “I think Archie knew from the first she was a precious thing and he couldn’t bear to let her go.  The poor guy was doomed!”

She grinned up at him, but his face was serious.

“I can understand that,” he said quietly.  “I don’t suppose she would have - well I doubt she’d have been happy with him carrying on, would she?”

“We haven’t talked about it,” said Belle, wrinkling her nose.  “Honestly, I think it was good timing more than anything.  He’d just finished studying when they met, and he was working to pay his tuition, so it all kind of fell into place.”

“Well, they’re very lucky,” he said.

They danced in silence for a while, and she enjoyed being able to touch him, with no awkwardness, no shying away as if the other were contaminated.  She wondered if things would ever be truly comfortable between them, and the thought made her want to sigh.  The lights were gleaming on his hair, and catching his fresh stubble, and she remembered how it felt to kiss him, how he tasted on her tongue.  She wished things were simpler.  He was gazing at her, his eyes dark and heavy with something approaching sorrow, and she bit her lip.

“You look so sad,” she said, her voice soft.  “I wish I knew what to say.”

Gold gave her a twisted little smile, his eyes gleaming, and his hand tightened on her waist as he turned her.

“I’m not really sad,” he said.  “Just - well, a little melancholy, I suppose.  Must be the music.”

“Melancholy is a kind of sad,” she pointed out, and he grinned.

“Yes, but it’s a kind of sad for pretentious people with English degrees.”

She giggled at that, and his eyes sparkled.

“See?” he said gently.  “No more melancholy.  Don’t be concerned for me.”

“You’re not pretentious,” she said, giving him a flat look, and he smiled.

“Oh, I’m a little pretentious,” he said.  “Ask any of my students.”

“Hmm.”  She was amused.  “I think I’d like to be one of your students.  I wouldn’t misbehave.  You wouldn’t have to chastise me, I swear.”

“Oh my.”  His grin turned wicked.  “There’s an image I probably shouldn’t have in my head.”

Belle giggled more, blushing.

“Not like that!” she scolded.  “I just meant - you’re kind, and you’re patient, and you’re really really calm, no matter what happens.”

“None of my students would recognise this charitable picture you’re painting of me,” he remarked.

“Well, perhaps you’re just that way with me, then,” she suggested.

“Perhaps I am.”

He stepped back on one foot, spinning her around and making her giggle again and cling to him.  Her head lolled against his shoulder, and she breathed him in, fingers clutching at the fine cotton of his shirt.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“A little drunk,” she admitted.

“Do I have to carry you home?”

“If you do, it’ll be because of these bloody shoes, not the booze,” she grumbled, and he laughed.

“Well, I’ll get you some water when we get back,” he said.  “No hangovers on my watch.  I won’t have your New Year ruined.”

She looked up and shook her head, sighing as they swayed back and forth.

“You worry about me way too much, you know.”

“I like to see you smile,” he said.  “I think you haven’t spent enough time smiling in this life, Belle.  You deserve to be happy.”

“I will be,” she said decidedly, and flicked her eyes up to him.  “I am, I mean.  I’m happy right now.”

“Good.  Then the New Year bodes well, doesn’t it?”

There was a flurry of activity near the makeshift stage, and some feedback through the microphone as Granny grabbed it, wine sloshing in the glass she held.

“Okay, folks!” she shouted.  “We’re getting close to midnight!  Grab your drinks and let’s kiss goodbye to one year and hello to the next!”

The dancing couples stopped still, and there was a scattered ripple of voices counting down from twenty, volume rising as they passed the ten-second mark.  Belle joined in, catching Ruby’s eye where she hung on Archie’s arm, glass raised high in the air.  She saw Mulan and Merida, clinging to one another, Merida with flushed cheeks and a wide smile, her hair like rippling fire.  Neal was standing on a table with both arms in the air and his head thrown back, yelling the numbers at the sky, and her eyes flicked back to Gold, who was watching her with a grin on his face and a gleam in his eyes.  Cries rang out, the townsfolk wishing one another a happy New Year, and impulsively she kissed his cheek, hugging him tight against her.  She felt him kiss her back, lips pressing against the side of her face, his hug squeezing the breath from her.

“Happy New Year,” she said quietly, her mouth by his ear, and she felt him smile.

“Yes,” he said.  “I think it will be.”