#until a certain point where we can actually see Astral
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Yuma screaming at talking with Astral, but you see what his friends see
#I love these bits so much#they are so funny to me#I love the fact that Yuma can't stay still while screaming at Astral#this is what everyone else (with very few exception) was seeing during the show#no wonder his friends were worried about him#Imagine if the entire show was like this: everything is the same but we viewers can't see Astral#we only see Yuma just talking and screaming at the air#and we have to understand if there is really someone there or if Yuma is having an hallucination#until a certain point where we can actually see Astral#(thankfully this is not what actually happened but is a funny “what if”)#yuma tsukumo#astral zexal#astral yugioh#(I'm tagging him because he is there. We can't see him but he is there)#yu gi oh zexal#yugioh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal
325 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nice Nexus AU info!
Hello! Here's the info for my team, Au—Nice Nexus. I might change the name because of the information, but I'm keeping it this way! I've made images to go with it, but I'll have the regular text version under the cut! (I also color-coded the names and certain phrases, mainly because I jump through a lot of pronouns, so it helps keep the info straight!)
Nice Nexus AU
By: Artist-in-training-wheels
This kinda starts when Nexus (Moon at the time) was still grieving Solar’s death. In the episode “What if SOLAR LIVED in VRChat” he wakes up in the theatre, right? Well, we know Dark Sun is insanely good at imitating Sun- so who’s to say that he didn’t just, put a (corruption) chip in Moon that caused him to have that initial hallucination!? The one where Solar lived by Sun died. The only time Moon snapped out of the hallucination was when Monty interacted with him- someone outside the hallucination!
Now, the way I see it, the chip slowly corrupts the user, twisting their desires and morals against themselves until they snap. Once they are at their lowest point, Dark Sun is alerted and approaches the individual, much like he did in “Moon’s New Partnership in VRChat.” I also believe that Dark Sun put a similar chip into Ruin, not as extreme but still holding mild corruption (this is important).
It is also worth mentioning that the flow of time is very… weird in the pocket dimension that they reside in. Sometimes it's years ahead, sometimes it’s a few years behind, and sometimes it lines up with the timeline (the main show). So it’s hard to say how long they’ve truly been there (kinda like the time when Sun and Moon were taken away for a bit- but were actually gone for like… 3 weeks or something like that (according to the Lunar and Earth show)).
Here’s where things divert the cannon. In my redesigns, Nexus has a wither shard on his nightcap. “For experimentation,” as explained to Dark Sun, who allowed it. However, it turns out that wither corruption can cancel out other corruption! Meaning that after some time, Nexus's sanity started to return! Obviously, he never said anything to Dark Sun, only giving Ruin a wither shard, too—again, “for experimentation.” This causes the mild corruption in Ruin to be undone- proving to Nexus that he was indeed corrupted by Dark Sun (cause at the time, he was in denial about it).
Due to his sanity returning, Nexus has a massive panic/depression spiral because of everything he did/said to his family! He knows there is borderline NOTHING he can do to fix all the damage he’s done in hopes of being a part of their family again, not that he blames them… but that doesn’t mean he won’t help where he can! So he’s made the family each their own personalized drone so that he can keep tabs on his family and find ways to help them!
He can’t do a whole lot like this, but he does little gifts here and there for everyone- a book or two for Sun about magic, some interesting/advanced blueprints (mostly of defensive items) for Moon, any and all info he can find about the astrals to Lunar, different accessories to Earth (but she has gotten a lot of different gifts- that seem to resemble apology gifts…), and Solar… well, he’s still working on Solar’s drone, but he’s already gotten a heartfelt “welcome back” gift… it was his goggles and gloves. He’s also in the process of making Dazzle and Jack’s drone, he’s just trying to figure out the best designs for them!
With that all being said, Ruin ends up being the voice of reason, ensuring that Nexus doesn’t make any sudden appearances and keeps them both under Dark Sun’s radar! He’s done it before; now he just has to make sure Nexus doesn’t get them caught. Occasionally, they’ll send the family a note or two about a possible warning (at least in regards to what Dark Sun is doing), but it isn’t often.
#my art#digital art#the sun and moon show#tsams#the lunar and earth show#tlaes#tsams nexus#tsams au#The Nice Nexus AU#Glad to have this written down!#Ask me things about this AU if you want to!#I had fun making all the little doodles!#Now to work on the little drones!
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jaws – Analysis
my video about it:
youtube
More or less the same thing as text:
I want to start with a quote from Vessel about jaws:
“Our jaws are the tools we have to rend apart,"Him (Vessel) explains. "They show our concealed aggression, and take something once hidden and burst it apart. You don't know someone until you have seen them destroy something. Jaws is an exploration of the frustration which accompanies the sense that someone close to you is hiding their true self.”
I just wrote about that but the sake of this I will put it in here as well:
This is stuck in my head!
Not all of it but “you don't know someone until you have seen them destroy something.”
I guess Vessel would have had some fun with me?! Not now but back in the day when my impulse control was zero when it came to anger.
This is what I connect this with. The DSM 5 XD.
“Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger”
and also “Impulsivity”.
I still remember being taken over by blind rage. It really feels like something else takes you over and acts for you. It's very surreal. I seem so calm. I am very calm now. I have discovered a source of calmness within me. But back in the day...I destroyed many things. Since he talks about things.
I loved smashing cellphones against walls especially. I don't remember how many phones I crashed. It's just what you do when your someone you obsess over is not responding they way you want them to. Right?! Right?! Why not?! XD.
Does lashing out really bad also count as destroying something? I was good at that, too.
So Vessel? Do you like that?! XD
Don't take this too serious. I mean I was like that but that was a really long time ago.
That quote just really resonates with me.
“stand under the stained glass and I will know it's you”
Seems like he liked to meet someone at a certain place.
“the whites from your eyes burn from across the room”
This makes me think about two things.
Someone having their eyes really white open so they can see better. Maybe because it's dark? Or there are dimmed lights?
And also I have this connected with white matter in our brain for some reason. I do not want to go into the depths of this, though. But I wanted to mention it. It can be seen is “higher dimension” within us. Don't ask me about it because that's all I remember about a complicated subject.
I also like that he says “burn from across the room”. This makes me think about a deep desire to be with someone.
“And I'm not here to be the saviour you long for
only the one you don't”
It seems to me that this saviour idea can be found in multiple places throughout the whole discography.
I know I'm repeating myself but something that I have learned is that you can only safe yourself as hard as this may sound or seem.
“are you watching me with eyes of a predator
as you move towards the door”
I don't fully understand this because in the beginning it sounded like he was happy to see someone/something, that probably being Sleep but now he says something about eyes of a predator. That does not sound so cheerful anymore.
He mentions a door again like in Nazareth. I really wonder where this might come from. Maybe those doors are connected? Maybe it's just something so random and I'm overthinking this. Or maybe this door is pointing towards the astral realm?! I really don't know.
“show me those pretty white jaws
show me where the delicate stops”
This reminds me about what Vessel actually said that someone maybe was not being their true self around him. I feel like all of those lines that start with “show me” sound kind of demanding and almost dominant. He uses “show me” quite a lot. It really feels like he is begging someone to show their true self.
This also reminds of this saying “actions speak louder than words”. Maybe there was some sort of betrayal going on? Idk.
“show me what you've lost
and why you're always taking it slow”
This is kind of like what I just said.
But also I feel called out by this.
It reminds of “you play your twisted little game, I know I a way you need to complicate”.
Well....it's called personality disorder for a reason and yes I will test you XD.
If he means “it” like doing “it” then...well...thanks for calling me out again. Well Vessel I am working myself through trauma okay?! (Why does he know me soooo well...okay I'm just messing around.)
In general: I a have met nice humans. Humans that were attracted to me but I just did have no desire to sleep with them. It happens.
“show me what wounds you've got, show me love”
Scars...not wounds but I get it. To me this almost feels like he is offering something to someone. It's like saying “hey you can be honest with me, you can trust me.”
“Oh, and I, I believe we are locked
caged and always provoked
by prey left unattended”
That I don't fully understand.
Are they being provoked just because the prey is left unattended?
Idk. I don't see who is provoked. I just don't really get this part. There is also a contradiction here because the prey is unattended and the predator is locked and caged. But idk what to make of this. I'm sorry XD.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
KURT.
introduction: mutant, son of mystique and destiny, member of the superhero team called x-men (and, formerly, excalibur), kurt wagner (aka nightcrawler) was raised in the bavarian alps by a romani sorceress. not formally adopted by her, kurt spent most of his early life in a circus, where his "devilish" appearance was accepted instead of feared and mistrusted. there he displayed a natural talent for acrobatics and soon became the circus' star aerial artist. after a fateful incident involving the owner of the circus and a mob of men, kurt used his powers for the first time in order to escape, teleporting away from danger. when kurt was 20 years old, charles xavier rescued him from yet again another mob and offered him a place in the x-men.
25-30 y / o. what looks to be blue skin is actually a soft layer of fur covering his entire body and that, along with his tail and shining golden eyes with no pupils, definitely makes him stand out. he also has pointed ears and sharper than normal canines, akin to fangs. despite his average height (175 cm) and lithe frame, kurt sports solid muscles in his back, arms and tighs and his spine is extremely flexible.
notes. i've read some of the comics involving him, but not nearly all of them and god knows trying to keep up with marvel comics is out of my league. due to this i will keep his most relevant story beats while adapting the rest to fit with rp partners and personal headcanons.
+ powers & abilities
teleportation. minor levels of shadow manipulation to avoid being seen. capable of seeing in the dark.
prehensile tail. olympic level acrobat. skilled in hand to hand combat, though fencing is where he excels at. trained in martial arts.
weaknesses: regular diseases and injuries can afflict him; due to kurt being a neyaphem (ancient race of mutants with demonic appearances) angel blood is dangerous for him.
the choices we make, the chances we take, define us.
+ misc
(i) he is a staunch believer of god and adeheres to his message of compassion and hope. studied teology but never actually became a priest. (ii) he is in possesion of an astral blade (hopesword), which is also the physical manifestation of his own, never faltering, hope. the sword is stored into his body and allows him to undo certain spells (he restored his mother's memories), but it is implied to have a much greater power that has yet to be discovered. similar to the soulsword, created by his foster mother with fragments of his soul. (iii) can speak and understand various languages, but he still has a distinct german accent. (iv) he has only three digits for each hand and two toes for each foot.
CANON VERSE ROUTES,
default. as a successful and beloved superhero, kurt has finally found somewhere he belongs and people he can consider family, until he tragically dies to ensure the survival of the mutant race. in the afterlife, kurt encounters his presumed father azazel. after stopping his nefarious plans to attack paradise (with the help of his fellow x-men), he uses his own blood magic to bind him to earth, cutting him off from his armies. that allows kurt to go back to the world of the living. at a steep price: leaving his soul behind. dying and coming back to life takes a heavy toll on him and, save dire circumstances where his help is needed, he distances himself from the hero life. as a result, however, he starts to dabble in the occult more often, navigating the supernatural netherworld.
vigilante. when mutant kind's peace and very existence is shattered, leaving most of them lost and presumed dead, he is brainwashed by the anti mutant organization orchis and forced to publicly kill three heads of state, tainting mutant reputation against his will. disillusioned by these events and the costant warring between mutants and humans, kurt leaves behind his identity and dons one of spiderman's discarded suits to become the vigilante spinnenman (people seem to prefer calling him in more creative ways, such as.. hellcrawler and spidemon). he also reunites with one of his mothers (mystique) and learns the truth about the circumstances that led him to be raised by another woman in bavaria.
+ CROSSOVERS / AUS,
general fantasy. tba
urban fantasy. tba.
modern (non mutant). drama student. normal city life. complicated family issues. adopted by a german couple living in america.
alt modern (vicious). eo. fled bavaria after accidentally killing his foster brother. took refuge in a circus for a while but had to escape again when they discovered his powers and tried to cage and sell him.
& more available! always willing to throw ideas around to make interactions easier
0 notes
Text
—out of the blue. (m)
⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader
⟶ genre: youtuber/gamer!jungkook + fluff / smut
⟶ words: 5,204
⟶ rating: 18+
⟶ summary: catching your boyfriend bleaching and dyeing his hair for a livestream is definitely not what you expected — but it certainly has its perks.
⟶ warnings: established relationship, some attempt at humour, .2 seconds of sort of sub jungkook (you just like seeing him on his knees), you call jungkook a good boy, shower sex, hair pulling, oral sex, face riding, standing sex, breast play, cum eating, doggy style, unprotected sex, creampie
⟶ note: because blue haired jungkook has me feeling all sorts of things. also dedicating this to the lovely ryen @kithtaehyung because blue haired jungkook is getting her too and i hope this helps!! and thank you to the wonderful @gamerkooks and @stanrandomthings for always giving me inspiration for gamer jungkook <3
“What the hell are you doing?”
Jungkook has less than a second to react when he hears you bursting through the door of his bedroom, a guilty expression plastered on his face as if you’ve caught him in the midst of a much worse act than what he’s already currently doing ━ but the flustered scowl deepening your countenance is enough for him to certainly feel that way, because how else is he supposed to casually explain why he’s currently sitting shirtless in front of a camera?
Admittedly, the sight is odd enough, and there’s a split moment where your incredulous look is enough to make him feel as if he’s wronged you, and your six month long relationship with him, entirely before he remembers that he didn’t actually do anything wrong like cheat on you, but is actually just trying to dye his hair.
He’s sat in his gaming chair, camera and lights set up around him, and the monitor of his desktop all recording his face to the hundreds of thousands of viewers currently watching his livestream. He had told you well in advance about his aim to do a twenty-four hour live broadcast for his subscribers to both raise money for a donation and to countdown to his next subscriber milestone with the help of his friends ━ and had even asked you to help him plan the event, discussing it animatedly with you for the past month on various occasions ━ but mainly just because Jungkook is crazy enough to sit through a twenty-four hour stream and call it fun.
You had known most of how the entirety of the day would go. Starting from noon the previous day to now, almost an hour before the stream ends, thus far he’s done various gameplays from Minecraft to Overwatch to Among Us simultaneously with his friends who had offered to marathon with him the twenty-four hour event; had a period of time in which Jimin and Taehyung were over and cramped in his room to answer questions and talk to viewers but mostly just to create absolute chaos. You had been there for most of it, though you’re still trying to figure out if it’s a blessing or a curse that you were suckered into paying rent for your three bedroom apartment by Taehyung more than a year ago, and subsequently falling madly in love with Jungkook and forcing you to aid in his antics. You’ve been in a handful of his videos before, appearing in Twitch and YouTube streams, and in the background of vlogs in his channel and the channels belonging to the other boys; and, on that day for Jungkook’s twenty-four hour event, you had joined him at the start before being dragged away for work and then tried to pull an all-nighter with him until you crashed on the couch in the living room, and checking in on him occasionally to give him food and water and to just generally make sure your boyfriend isn’t dead.
Now, with the remaining final hour dwindling down, you had been in your room trying to finish last minute essay writing for school, with your phone propped up on your desk and Jungkook’s livestream playing as background noise to your studying. One minute, he had been playing a round of Among Us, and the next, when you had glanced up, he had the bottle in hand and the detrimental blue dye coating his hair in slick globs. It wouldn’t have been so shocking, had you not seen Jungkook an hour ago when he had his natural dark hair still, and now he had somehow managed to sneak in bleaching his hair in the time you had left him. Maybe it was your fault for not catching it sooner, if only because you had sheepishly taken a small nap amidst your studying only to wake up to a nightmare.
Which is where that leaves you currently, dishevelled demeanour standing at the threshold of his door after chasing over to his room, watching as Taehyung helps Jungkook sufficiently ruin his beautiful hair which you love so much.
“Uh… Dyeing my hair?” Jungkook finally answers, dumbfounded. He’s fortunate he had pulled off his shirt to avoid getting hair dye on it, an old towel now draped around his shoulders to catch any excess mess. He adds brightly, “We asked for suggestions on how to end the stream and someone said I should dye my hair, so Tae got the stuff.”
“You bleached your own hair?” You retort, exasperated. “When the hell did all this happen? I’ve been next door to you the whole time! What if your hair falls out? You should’ve gotten a professional to do it, not Tae━”
Taehyung looks inexplicably offended by your slandering remarks on his (lack of) hair styling skills, retorting with, “Yo, what the━?”
Jungkook blinks, as if just being made aware of what he’s actually doing.
“My hair’s gonna fall out?” he gaps. “Guys, what the hell? Why’d no one tell me?”
He looks from you to Taehyung then over at the comments on his livestream which are currently flooding with the sole topic of you. His eyes snag the first few that appear to him in the frenzied influx of words:
uh oh jungkook’s sleeping on the floor tonight
oh shit run bro
f in the chat for jk’s hair
get him y/n!!!!
“Dude, she’s just being dramatic,” Taehyung waves you off. He ducks out of the way when you reach out to Jungkook’s bed for a pillow and chuck it at the older boy’s head.
“And when he’s bald, then what━”
“No!” A helpless Jungkook exclaims suddenly. He gestures wildly to the stream, “Don’t give them ideas. The edits are gonna start pouring in.”
“Jeon, look, it’s too late to go back now,” Taehyung says. “You’ve got half your head covered in dye and three minutes to go with the stream. How bad can it be?”
A groveling sigh eclipses your lips as you push yourself forward. “Then at least let me help before you ruin it completely.”
Jungkook’s fortunate, to say the least, though he’s left wondering if you’re truly upset with him.
He finishes the countdown to the end of his twenty-four hour stream with you and Taehyung putting the last remaining globs of dye on his hair, a heartfelt goodbye to his viewers who marathoned the stream with him, and a promise to update them on the status of his hair when he washes the dye out.
And, just as soon as he’s shut his camera off, the mundane world returns to him.
It’s no longer millions of anonymous and faceless viewers watching him from the other side of their screens in the tiny bubble that is his room, but just you and Taehyung and the older boy’s frisky little Pomeranian dog and the threat of a wallowing regret as Jungkook thinks to himself, what the hell did he truly just do to his hair?
At some point, Taehyung retreats to his girlfriend’s house taking Yeontan with him, leaving you alone with Jungkook and he basks in the sudden cozy quiet after twenty-four hours of madness as the adrenaline rush begins to fade and mellow out. Back aching, joints cracking and popping as he stretches and moves, and eyes burning in the similar way they do from having stared at a screen for too long, but tenfold, he craves nothing more than to find your sweet and comforting touch to end such a long day.
He finds you in the living room already scrolling through your phone and your Twitter feed to read and marvel at all the comments and memes made by his viewers during his stream and his heart threatens to burst through his chest because you’ve always been so supportive of him and his fans, and they’ve always adored you and your endless interactions with them. So, surely, you can’t be mad at him for bleaching and dyeing his hair. Right?
As his arms come to wrap around you from behind, face nuzzling in the crook of your neck, he hears you bemoan, “You look like a Smurf came on your head.”
Wrong.
Well, not entirely, he guesses. You do lean into his chest, practically melting against him. A sluggish grin tugs at his lips and, instead, he chooses to ask, “Shower with me?”
“Aren’t you tired, Koo?”
“Baby,” he deadpans, and your heart flutters just a little bit, “by this point, I’m running solely on Red Bull and coffee that I’m positive I could fight the gods with my bare hands and win. In fact, I’ve had so much caffeine that I’m fairly certain I’ve ascended to the astral plane. Besides, I need to wash this dye out, and I could use some help. Sleep can wait.”
“Help,” You snort. “You’re such a liar. I already know what you want.”
“To spend time with my beautiful girlfriend? You’re right.”
“I’m not sucking your dick.”
He pulls his head back to look at you. Though he tries to look offended, there’s the tiniest of smirks on his face. “Wasn’t gonna ask you!”
You turn to properly face him in his arms and shoot him a dubious glance. He leans down to press a chilling kiss to your jaw, then nudges his nose against you in the same spot so that you’ll move your head. You do so, despite your prior scolding, and let him kiss the underside of your jaw down to your neck.
“Okay, fine,” You huff finally.
You relent, miraculously, but Jungkook had already guessed you would the moment he had found you in the living room and he couldn’t be happier.
He cherishes the moments alone with you, has come to know them well as he falls into a comfortable routine with you away from prying eyes over the last few months. Because sometimes, as he comes to learn, it’s hard to establish a relationship when his job requires him to be in the spotlight often. What is authentic and what is simply fabricated for views is difficult to discern, and yet you’re patient with him. Not everything to him is money and views and numbers, or what his next big plan is, or how you could potentially help him in some way (despite knowing that any video featuring you seems to skyrocket his views and land his videos on the trending page of YouTube more often than not because he knows everyone loves you more than him). You know when he’s his online persona and when he’s simply just Jungkook, and while there’s hardly any difference between the two, his online personality surely has to maintain a level of privacy and happiness that may not always be true.
At least with you, he can just be himself. He can finally be at ease.
Showering together is just one of the many acts of normalcy he cherishes with you. So, he turns on the shower and lets the bathroom get all warm and balmy as you undress. He’s the first one inside, hissing in delight as he lets the water run over his sore muscles, washing out the dye in his hair firstly so as not to get it on you and fortunately not making too much of a mess of blue dye in the tub. You’ve joined him in an instant when he’s nearly done, squeezing into the space in front of him as you shut the glass door behind you, the pane already beginning to fog and slick with droplets of condensation. He pulls you into him once more, nestling his chin on your shoulder as his hands come to wrap around you. They slide across your front, all wet and soapy, briefly gliding across your breasts, palms brushing against your nipples before traveling down to your navel.
“Congrats, baby,” You coo gently. “Twenty-four hours.”
He murmurs into your hair, “Missed you loads though.”
You turn to look at him finally, and it’s hard not to stare. Your eyes land firstly on his abdomen and the toned muscles there, trailing up to his arm and the pretty tattoos that decorate every inch of his skin, to his soft pink lips and his big eyes. Then, there’s the matter of his hair. The water has done most of the work in washing out the dye from his hair, now falling across his forehead and into his eyes and cheekbones, and it’s only then that you fully register the dye has worked as you struggle to find any remnants of his once-ebony-then-blonde locks. The blue hair is an obvious stark contrast to his natural hair and, you think, it is pretty, accentuating his radiant skin and making his eyes pop.
“I didn’t think you were actually serious all those times you said you wanted to change your hair.” Your lips are pursed as you survey him now, your fingers twirling a strand of his tresses around and around as you inspect it.
He smiles, catching your hand and pressing a quick peck to your knuckles. “Neither did I,” he admits sheepishly. “It sort of just happened.”
You pout. “I’m gonna miss your natural hair.”
“Do you really hate it blue?”
“I don’t hate it. Was more scared you’d ruin your pretty hair and make it all fall out.”
At this, Jungkook flashes you a cheeky smile. He holds his head a little higher. “So you still think my hair is pretty?”
“I think you’re a dork,” You clarify. “And, aside from the fact you almost gave me a heart attack, I’d say the blue is so pretty. Beyond pretty. Kinda hot, if I’m being honest.”
Because you’re not really mad, but it’s fun just to tease Jungkook and see his reactions. At the very least, he can sense this, as it’s apparent with the way his smile stretches even wider on his face.
“Hot, huh?”
“Mhm. But you didn’t hear that from me.”
He feigns a look of mock hurt. “Oh no. You must be really mad. Want me to make it up to you?”
“How are you gonna do that?”
“Well, what do you want from me?”
You take a moment to think it over, but the answer is already obvious enough. It’s one that even he knows, and one that has won you over the moment Jungkook was freed from his stream. You hum aloud, “You, on your knees, head between my legs, like a good boy. Think I can get a better viewpoint of your hair from down there anyway before I judge it.”
“Like a good boy?” A dark smirk tugs at his face. “So now who’s the needy one?”
He lowers his head so that he’s leaving a trail of sloppy wet kisses down your neck to your collarbones. As you let yourself get carried away for a moment, you wrap your arm around his neck, pulling him backwards until you’re pressed up against the glass door. He ducks even lower, kissing just above your left breast and then catching your nipple between his teeth. You swallow thickly, rubbing your thighs together, reminding yourself to respond to him.
“It’s not my fault when you were busy for the past day,” You pout. “And the blue hair really is sexy.”
“Aha!” he straightens up in front of you suddenly, a crooked smug smile on his face. “So I’m not just hot. I’m sexy.”
“You’re literally always sexy. And beautiful too. It’s almost unfair.”
“That’s even better.”
You tug your fingers at his damp locks. When you speak, your voice is a mix between urgency and a whine. “Jungkook. I could’ve already gotten off with my hand at this point.”
“Ouch, feisty!” He pokes his fingers at your sides. Then, nipping a little more firmly on the soft skin of your breast, murmurs huskily, “Alright, alright. But only if you call me a good boy again.”
Part of him is taunting you, but there’s a small sliver of intrigue that makes the thought in his head and the pretty words on your tongue excite him to no end.
Still, you choose to entertain him, maybe a little drowsily and entirely consumed by him, “I will if you let me ride your face.”
A rumble of a chuckle resonates from him. You find him on his knees in the next moment, wedging himself between your thighs. He nudges one of your legs and you follow the wordless command, hitching one thigh over his shoulder as you settle back against the glass door of the shower. He kisses at your hips as he dips his head lower and lower to where you want him, before swiping his tongue at your cunt, tasting all of you at once.
“Mmm, Koo━” A soft whimper sounds from you, making his head swim.
He wastes no time in lapping at your folds, tongue delving into you deeper and deeper as he cranes his neck. The wetness that pools between your legs and on the tip of his tongue is a sticky mess that he basks in just a little longer.
“Fuck,” he groans into your pussy, “you taste so fucking good. Missed this so much.”
His hands are big as they come to hold you close, cradling your ass, your thighs, your hips, anything to pull you into him while simultaneously pushing your thighs further apart.
You manage to find your voice and quip weakly, “Missed me or having your head between my legs?”
“You, definitely,” he murmurs. He busies himself by reaching out with his thumb to press circles against your clit. Your mouth falls open in a silent moan, hips rutting into his face. “All of you.”
“Jungkook━ Fuck━”
He burrows further into you, humming in response. His nose brushes against your clit, the muscle of his tongue a pleasant wet that makes you warm all over. You give another experimental swivel of your hips, grinding against his tongue just right. He pinches at your hips as if to probe you onward, and then you do it again, and again, desperately rocking your hips back and forth against him. Your fingers reach out to grab a fistful of his hair, clutching it so tightly he hisses. But you’re right. The blue locks look dazzling between your legs, being pulled by your hands as you push him further into you.
His eyes meet yours from below your waist, hooded and idle, enjoying the view as you squirm and writhe above him, shamelessly riding his face. Grinding against his chin, nose, and tongue, the slick wetness you leave behind glistens on his skin.
“Ah, Koo━” You cry out. “Fuck, I’m gonna━!”
Your orgasm hits you violently, sending you keeling. Your hips continue with reckless abandon, and Jungkook presses his finger against your clit a little harder, a little faster. The abrupt gushing warmth between your thighs sends your mind spinning, as the steam from the shower and your panting breaths begin to fog the bathroom. When your hips begin to slow, Jungkook laps at the rest of your leaking core before pulling away with a grin brandishing his shimmering face. He lets you pull him up eagerly, clumsy hands fumbling to hold either side of his face as you tug at him.
“God, you’re so hot, babe,” he sighs wistfully, smothering your lips with his for an all too chaste kiss, before leaning in once more to nibble at your lower lip.
“Wanna feel you, Koo,” You prompt urgently. “Want you in me.”
Jungkook hastens to comply, his hands falling to your waist. “Go on, then. Turn around for me.”
You don’t need to be told twice. You spin so that you’re facing the glass sliding door, your back to him. You watch him over your shoulder, momentarily admiring his well built stature, the tattoos that ink his body, and the water that shimmers on his skin. He has to push his wet hair up and away when it falls across his forehead and then he reaches down to grasp at his length, grip tight around his shaft so that he can pump himself sluggishly a few short times. It’s almost painful to watch him jerk himself off in front of you, the tip a burning red and glistening. He catches you staring and decides to catch you off guard when he grabs a hold of your hips with one hand. He yanks you towards him, your ass pressed firmly against his hips, making you jump from the startle, and grins when you look back at him.
Then, ever so slowly, he runs the length of his cock along your folds. Before you can brace yourself for the overwhelming rush of pleasure, he’s sliding his cock past your folds, burrowing into you deep. He curses behind you, his other hand flying out to steady himself by digging into your hip.
“Fffuck. Shit.” He dips his head so that his cheek is resting against your shoulder and sputters for air. “Jesus, fuck━ Been dying to feel you all day.”
He fits so snugly in you, so perfectly, just like always and you take him so well, coaxed by your own arousal. He ruts his hips forward into yours and you nearly fall forward before catching yourself by pressing your palms to the glass. Then, he’s grinding against you, small and precise thrusts that roll into your hips.
“Mmm, Jungkook,” you choke out. “You feel so━ So good.”
“Ah, shit,” he hisses. “Wanna wreck you so bad.”
He angles his chest a little more, pummels his dick into you in such a way that he’s hitting a different spot in you. His eyes stay fixated on the soft, round flesh of your ass and the way his cock slips so easily into you, brows screwed in concentration, jaw clenched. The slight bounce of your ass each time he rolls his hips firmly against you, the way you ricochet forward each time in tandem with his moves. You bow your head, pressing your temple against the glass door now tinted with condensation, only marked up by the imprints of your fingers grasping at anything. It’s almost sweltering hot in the shower now but you both pay no mind to it. He fucks into you with such languid, steady strides, cock beginning to throb and twitch in anticipation. You feel so wet, such a pitiless mess between your thighs already that it makes him growl.
“H-Harder,” You mewl. “Oh, Koo━”
He almost slips behind you in his eagerness to obey, awakening something animalistic in him, a yearning to just release all the tension in his core. This time, he adapts a measured pace, forceful thrusts that have you crying out in delight each time. One hand reaches up to grip at your shoulder to steady himself while his other slithers around your front to grasp at your breasts, all wet and supple, pinching at your nipples.
“So good,” he moans, pressing sloppy kisses just below your ear. His breath is hot as he pants behind you, sending tingles down your spine. “Fuck━”
His voice is cut off by a whine, hips bucking forward in an unsolicited manner as he feels his high drawing near. You lean your head onto his shoulder, stretching your arm out so that you can tug desperately at his hair. It’s a silent, simple command, but it’s one that he immediately understands even without you speaking.
“Wanna feel you━” You whimper. “Wanna see you.”
Jungkook nearly slips as he fumbles to pull out of you, hissing at the loss of warmth and friction. As soon as you’ve turned to face him, he wastes no time in closing the distance between you. He pushes his leaking cock past your folds once more and continues at the same pace as if he had never even stopped to begin with.
“Fuck,” he whines. “Not gonna last━”
You wrap your arms around his neck, drawing him even closer to you, as he presses you against the glass. He hitches one of your thighs around his waist, spreading your legs just wide enough to hit a certain spot that has both of you crying out. You’re clinging so tightly to him, fingers digging harshly into his skin in an attempt to alleviate the building pressure you feel. He knows you’ve almost reached your end when you resort to a gasping, moaning mess, writhing beneath his broad stature.
“Close, baby?” he hums.
You open your mouth to respond but can only muster a whimper. His pace treads over to heedlessly frantic, the sound of skin against skin and the lewd wetness filling the shower. Despite his hips pounding into yours so harshly, his fingers flutter so delicately under your chin, grasping it and moving your head just enough so that you’re facing him.
“Lemme see you,” he grunts. “Wanna watch you when you cum all over my cock. Always so pretty.”
“I━ I’m━ Fuck, Koo━”
But you can’t finish your thought.
You keep your gaze fixated on Jungkook’s, however exhausted and weary it may be. Your lashes flutter, brows knit together, and you suck your lower lip between your teeth, biting so hard Jungkook’s certain you’ll bruise it. Another few hard thrusts and then you’re reaching your high, overcome by such an intense burning that you can’t help but look away out of instinct. You cry his name, face contorting in pure pleasure, and chest arching to meet his. You’re clenching so tightly around him has him sputtering for air, nearly collapsing entirely against you. You’re near dripping around his cock which only means he almost slips from you with each draw of his hips that he makes. It’s why he sloppily rocks his hips into yours, desperate to reach his own high as well.
When you return to your senses, blinking away your blurry vision, you can make out Jungkook cooing into your ear, “That’s it, baby. Doing so well.”
You meet his gaze once more, only this time you’re perhaps even more tired. Hooded eyes watch him, silently probing him to his climax. He comes tumbling towards it, a few more short thrusts of his hips and, finally, he’s there. He slams his hips up into yours one final time, crying out, and then he’s releasing into you in an overwhelming abrupt gush. Only he can’t quite enjoy it because, out of genuine accident and driven by impatience to just get off, the last jerk of his hips hits you a little too hard.
It’s what causes you to slip backward and he, so lost in his own reverie, hardly has a proper grip on you or where he’s standing. When you lose your footing beneath you, slipping on the wet porcelain of the tub, and comes crashing down, he’s brought along with you. “Oh, fuck━!”
The both of you yelp from the surprise, your hands flailing out to brace yourself for the fall.
Fortunately, you land on him when you reach the bottom of the tub, courtesy of him grabbing onto you last second so that he can soften the blow upon impact.
Unfortunately, the breath is knocked out of him from the startle and from the sudden added weight of you on top of him with no warning.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he groans.
“In hindsight,” You wince as you shift your weight above him, “maybe having sex in the shower again wasn’t the greatest idea. Remember last time when we knocked the shower curtain down and I had to get stitches on my elbow? It’s why we got the glass door installed, and then we had to lie to Tae about it.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me.” He tilts his head back, rubbing a hand over his face. Then, he flashes you an all too charming smirk. “Was kinda worth it though.”
You giggle, sounding so sweet and angelic, even despite the way his cum still leaks from you. Somewhere in the fall, his dick had slipped from you and now lays softening on his stomach which, really, is probably the worst part of the accident to him. He already misses the warmth of you wrapped around him, your mingling cum a dirty mess around him. You prop yourself up on his chest with your palms, but before you can even think to respond, you notice something out of the corner of your eye.
A small mass of fur in the shape of little Yeontan has just poked his head through the crack in the door, oblivious to you and Jungkook’s compromising position. And then, shortly following behind him, is his equally oblivious owner who must have forgotten something in the apartment to bring him back so suddenly.
“Tannie, get back here━ We gotta go━ Oh, Jesus, what the fuck?” Taehyung appears at the door for a millisecond before noticing the situation he’s just stumbled upon. Thankfully, he acts fast, and clamps a hand over his tainted eyes, clumsily scooping up Yeontan in his other hand. “Can you guys please stop fucking all over this damn apartment? My son’s eyes are too pure for this!”
And then he’s retreating, but not before bumping blindly into the doorframe, grumbling along the way. It’s silent for a moment as you and Jungkook gawk at one another; then you hear Taehyung leave the apartment once more, and the both of you dissolve into a fit of unabashed laughter.
“Are you okay?” You ask once you’ve calmed down enough as he reaches out to shut the shower off. You plant a kiss in your boyfriend’s hair. “You hit your head coming down.”
Jungkook’s heart swells at your gentle touches and smiles. “I’m fine,” he promises brightly. “You?”
“Well, you did just thoroughly fuck me, so━” You shrug innocently. “I’m kinda still too giddy to even care.”
“I’m gonna make it up to you,” he says. “For almost giving you a heart attack with my hair and for almost putting you in the emergency room again just now.”
The mention of his hair draws your attention to it once more. It’s not as wet as before, damp azure waves falling into his eyes that you brush away gingerly.
“Yeah,” You snort, “but I’ve decided I like your hair. Like, really like it.”
“Yeah?” he grins wide. “What was the deciding factor?”
You pause, as if to think for a moment. Exhaustion riddles your body and you know sleeping curled up next to Jungkook is nearing your future, but for now you let yourself entertain the last remnants of whatever lewd thoughts are still on yours and his minds before they fizzle away completely. You can’t help yourself anyway. The blue really is nice.
“Definitely the view of you eating me out,” You say. “And can’t forget how pretty it looks when I’m pulling at your hair.”
“Say no more,” he beams. “Then I’ll make it up to you by making you cum on my tongue again and again and again.”
The last thing he hears before he grabs at your cheek to softly pull you down to him for one last kiss, slow and ardent, is a bubbly giggle from you that delights him to no end.
“That’s a good boy.”
⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work.
⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!
#btsbookclub#bangtanhq#btscreatorscorner#jungkook#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#bts#bts smut#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#bts fluff#jungkook imagine#jeongguk smut#jeon jeongguk smut#jeon jeongguk fluff#jeon jungkook smut#bangtan smut#bangtan#bts fanfic#bts oneshots#FINALLY POSTED SOMETHING YEEHAW#was gonna call this 'blue is sus' like among us but thankfully decided against it
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Now is the time on Sprockets where we unpack the experience. Pictured above: me still thinking about Jordan being like eye level with Emilie whenever she was sitting down and he was kneeling.
The knowledge that it is HIGHLY unlikely I will ever see another trio where I love each of them that much…a weighty realization. Blessed though.
The absolute manic energy that overtook me as I approached an hourly worker like myself during a wishful Majestic Theatre vibe check a smooth…fifteen minutes (?) before the Sunday matinee. I did wait until he was done assisting ppl and then he turned to me and it was more or less:
“Hi! So sorry to bug you, I was wondering if there are any understudies* on today?”
“Oh yeah there’s hella understudies!” (he said that, he was super nice!)
“Oh, amazing, are any of them the Phantom, Christine, or Ra—“
“The Phantom is an understudy!”
“Oh! Is it—is it Jeremy St—“
“It is Jeremy Stolle.”
* The leads are currently all very strong of course but since I had seen Ben before and he has some really great understudies, in addition to hoping to possibly see Elizabeth or Kanisha or Bronson — it just seemed like there was a decent chance over the time I was there of getting to see one of a long list of people I’d be thrilled about, with such a solid main cast that it would be hard to go wrong.
Having a Normal One: taking your seat at a Sunday matinee when you saw that same show the actual night before. It is what it is.
I was so sad to miss Emilie in November, and had said I would Get On A Plane for Jordan Donica. So as excited as I would have been for the others, it was such a genuine delight to see them both twice. And then Jeremy was out here saying “fOoLe” and doing The Strolle so…
If you do see The Strolle & more in person I highly recommend seeing it with a like-minded friend/friends. We were clearly not going to yell in the theatre like — respect the cast, respect the other patrons, that said I’m not going to apologize for grabbing @emotionalmotionsicknessxx because I think it was the same amount of “I am grabbing your arm/softly hitting you so I will not audibly act up” although I know I whispered “no” a lot of times.
The way he was touching the sheet music at the beginning of first lair was untoward I don’t even know. He put his hand on her stomach during PONR. He was being chaotic on the bench. His “make your choice” broke me as a person. Also it was STRESSFUL to be sitting off to the side in our own little box because we could see Jeremy waiting behind the angel as Jordan Donica is mere feet below him being an absolute MENACE. Where is a person supposed to look?! (At Jordan and Emilie, mostly, but even though of course we know the phantom is there it was cool to be able to see him!)
When have I said a Raoul was a menace? Never! Nor will I ever again. Also great view of Emilie’s face acting at certain points, like “Twisted Ever Way” and this is the second time I ever teared up during “Wishing.”
Emilie and Jordan sound so lovely on that “anywhere you go—“ part in AIAOY and the only other time I ever really stopped to take notice of that is some Hugh audios with Sara Jean Ford and Sean MacLaughlin so — idk it’s a lovely song but rarely do I say “oh hello?!”
It is a matter of GREAT doctrinal import to know that the Pew Pew Stick simply did not work during Wandering Child and these two men responded by getting…Big N Loud at each other. Like more than they were already. Which…both of them are already deep-voiced and quite tall so honestly a blessing I was able to CLING to a friend at that moment as I was in danger of being sent to the astral plane.
And Jeremy did say Fathering Gaze. He said it. He said the thing.
Lived my best clown life that day. That was it, that was the pinnacle.
I will have to talk more about Emilie another time. She was just wonderful. Gotta get the right words together but…I would even go see it just for her if you can. I mean yes catch Jordan if you can, I hope he comes back, but Emilie’s Christine is something really really special.
#phantom of the opera#jeremy stolle#emilie kouatchou#Jordan Donica#a matter of great doctrinal import#daddying gaze#big dumb hand
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
#12: The Doctor [Doctor Who]
Brother, I disown you...
I don't know what my friend/chosen brother was thinking when he made this request... Actually, no, I know exactly what he was thinking! Well, no time to dawdle, let's do this Time Warp. Again.
Next Time: Before we return to the gods, I want to make a character very close to my heart. He is also a Doctor... only, word of warning, he's a little... Strange.
Well then... sigh, let's see the goals we need to meet to make the most brilliant alien in television playable in D&D:
Heroes Never Die: The signature ability of a Time Lord (and the most problematic), a way to cheat death and return to life. Yes, somehow we need to make a virtually immortal character in Dungeons & Dragons...
Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Even in his relatively serious regenerations, the Doctor is prone to flashes of randomness, acts of nonsense, mixing puns and physical comedy to often hide the incredibly fast and advanced brain processes.
Go-Go Gadget Galore: Do I even need to say anything? Besides his trusty TARDIS (which will not be included here, we're making the Doctor, not his equipment!), the Doctor also brandishes sonic devices of multiple varieties, psychic paper, the thing that goes DING, etc.
---
As you can imagine, finding the right race replacement for Time Lords wasn't easy. I'm definitely not using The-Movie-That-Does-Not-Exist solution, and making the Doctor... half-human, urgh. All we need to do is find a humanoid, almost-fossil race that can come back from death a limited amount of times.
The Doctor is a Human Revenant, a playtest race from Unearthed Arcana: Gothic Heroes. In-game, Revenant is an undead that came back to life to pursue a certain goal, whether it's vengeance, retribution, or to make amends. Putting some flavour into it, and turning it into a long-living, mysterious being who perhaps came from the Astral Plane to search for a way to save his home planet... why not? Regular Revenants get only a +1 to Constitution, but if we're using pre-existing race (such as Human), there's another set of rules. So, we get a +1 Constitution and +1 Intelligence, and we don't get to pick a skill or a feat. Not yet.
What's most important here is the Revenant's Relentless Nature feature. We are assigned a goal, a very specific one, that we must complete in order to achieve peace. Work with your DM on that one (the saving-your-home-world one from before sounds like a good start). Until we complete the goal:
If we are below Hit Points Maximum, at the start of our turn we regain 1 Hit Point;
We know the distance and direction to any creature involved in our goal (perhaps a fellow, once-friend Time Lord?);
When we die, we come back to life within 24 hours with 1 Hit Point. If our body is destroyed, we come back in a spot within 1 mile of our place of death (unfortunately, our equipment is destroyed);
BOOM! JUST FLAVOUR EACH DEATH AS A CHANGE OF FACE AND PERSONALITY, AND WE HAVE THE REGENERATION SYSTEM! HAH! YOU SEE THAT, BROTHER!?
Ekhm... back to work, then.
The Doctor is pretty far from home, so giving him the Far Traveller background seems like the right approach. We gain proficiencies in Insight and Perception skills, proficiencies with one musical instrument (perhaps a recorder?)/gaming set, we learn one language of our choice, and we get the All Eyes on You feature; our mannerisms and quirks definitely draw attention towards us and our group, but we can take advantage of that in order to fish for some information, secure an audience with the local nobleman, or... I dunno, snog Madame de Pompadour?
ABILITY SCORES
No surprise there, we start with Intelligence. We have a literal Big Galaxy Brain™ and we use it often, and only sometimes to show off. Follow that up with Dexterity, we're nimble and we're doing a lot of running, especially when being chased (plus, we've invented the Drunken Giraffe dance). Constitution is next, the Gallifreyan biology is significantly superior to that of regular Terrans.
Next up, Charisma. It usually works, sometimes it doesn't, but even then we're kinda adorkable. Wisdom is a little low, I think we all shall agree to that, the Doctor is a creature of whim. He gets lost in thought, has a hard time remembering to explain his logic to others. Finally, we're dumping Strength. Now, we're definitely physically stronger than humans, I just don't remember any particular feats of super-strength in the show.
Heck, you want even more Time Lord shenanigans? Ask your DM to implement the "every death/regeneration makes all ability scores randomly switch places" rule.
CLASS
Level 1 - Artificer: Once again, nobody is surprised we begin with the Smart & Techy One™ for the Doctor. Artificers were brought to 5e via Tasha's Cauldron of Everything. These magical tinkers have d8 Hit Dice, [8 + Constitution modifier] initial Hit Points, proficiencies with light armour, medium armour, heavy armour, shields, simple weapons, and optionally firearms (although that's definitely not the Doctor's style). We additionally get proficiency with thieves' tools, tinker's tools, and one set of artisan's tools we choose. We can't get the sonic screwdriver (although if you want one, hint to your DM about the existence of the All-Purpose Tool), we have all these tools to replace it with. Our saving throws are Constitution and Intelligence, and we get to pick two class skills: let's get History and Investigation.
Artificers start with Magical Tinkering, an ability to bestow harmless magical properties onto inanimate objects. We choose a Tiny object with no magic in it, and grant it one of the following properties indefinitely:
It sheds bright light for 5 feet and dim light for an additional 5;
Whenever tapped, the object plays a recorded message no longer than six seconds;
The object continuously emits a smell or a sound of our choice;
A static image (picture, lines of text, shapes, etc.) appear on the object's surface.
Artificers are also casters, so at the first level, we get Spellcasting. Our casting ability is, of course, Intelligence and the number of spells we can prepare is equal to [our Intelligence modifier + half of our Artificer level rounded down]. We also know how to cast rituals.
We start with two cantrips:
Magic Stone lets us imbue three pebbles with magic (or perhaps, in this case, kinetic energy?) for 1 minute. We can then use the pebbles ourselves, or give them to somebody else. On a successful hit, the target suffers [1d6 + our Intelligence modifier] bludgeoning damage and the spell ends on that particular pebble.
Prestidigitation is a cantrip of plenty varieties, which very well could be disguised as the Doctor's tinkering with his sonic screwdriver. It can be used to warm or chill food, clean or soil objects, or perhaps lighting and snuffing our small flames.
We start with two 1st-level spell slots, and we get three 1st-level spells:
Alarm sets up a secured perimeter, no larger than a 20-feet cube, for 8 hours. Whenever a create not-designated as safe while setting the spell, crosses its boundary, we get a signal informing us about the intrusion, which also wakes us up if we're sleeping. The signal can be set to inform only us, or everybody around.
Detect Magic informs us of any magical activity within 30 feet of us for 10 minutes (concentration). We sense magic lingering on objects, people, as well as locations, and we can determine the type of magic present (but not a particular spell, for example, we sense that a spell on the object is enchantment-type, but not that it's Power Word: Kill).
Identify is... pretty much the one function of the sonic screwdriver we've all seen. It lets us learn about an object we choose, including its magical properties (if any) and if it's affected by any spells. And it works on wood!
With a spell list like that, we can safely say
Level 2 - Artificer: We continue with the Tech Savvy Class, and we learn the Artificer's signature skill, Infuse Item. It lets us bestow magical properties onto mundane items. Similarly to Warlock's Invocations, Artificers have Infusions they can select and put into items. Starting from this level, we can infuse two items at once, and we get to pick four Infusions from the list. For the Doctor, let's pick:
Replicate Magic Item: Bag of Holding is probably the most useful infusion in the early game. The infusion does exactly what it says, and a Bag of Holding is always a good item to own (just watch out for the Bag Man!)
Enhanced Defence infusion puts some extra protection (+1 to AC) onto an armour or a shield.
Mind Sharpener is a helping hand for any spellcaster. The infusion put onto an armour, or woven into a robe, sends a jolt to re-focus the mind. When the wearer fails a Constitution saving throw to keep their concentration, one charge (out of four) of the infusion expends, to make them succeed instead. The charges are refilled at dawn.
Returning Weapon gives a +1 to attack and damage rolls of the weapon it's applied on and makes it return to the wielder's hand immediately after it's used to make a ranged attack. With the keyword "immediately", it gives your Rangers and other bow-users infinite ammunition with just one arrow.
We can also get one more 1st-level spell: Disguise Self changes our appearance for 1 hour, or until we choose to dismiss it as an action. The spell affects our body, clothing, and items we carry (including weapons). It is not a physical disguise, just an illusion woven around us; if we make ourselves thinner than we really are, and somebody was to touch the space where our regular body would be, they're going to feel the body, albeit invisible. For the Doctor, this seems like a combination of psychic paper and the Chameleon Circuit.
Level 3 - Artificer: At this level, we get the Right Tool for the Job feature. If we have thieves' tools or artisan's tools in hand, we can create any other set of artisan's tools.
We also get to pick our subclass, our Artificer Specialization. The Doctor is no alchemist, and we'll probably build Tony Stark at some time in the future, therefore we're picking Battle Smith. Those tinkers are masters of protections, being able to put up defensive mechanisms on the spot. Since the Doctor is a diplomat first, runner second, and combatant very close and reluctant third, focusing on support is a good option.
As a Battle Smith, we gain proficiencies with smith's tools, and we gain some more magic with Battle Smith Spells:
Heroism imbues the willing creature with bravery. Until the spell ends (1 minute, concentration), the target is immune to being frightened and gains Temporary Hit Points equal to our Intelligence modifier at the start of each of their turns (AKA every six seconds). When the spell ends, any Temporary Hit Points remaining are lost.
Shield creates an invisible barrier as a reaction to getting hit. It adds +5 to our AC until the start of our next turn.
Although a reluctant fighter, the Doctor as a Battle Smith also gets the Battle Ready feature. We gain proficiency with martial weapons, and when we attack with a magic weapon, we can use our Intelligence modifier instead of Strength or Dexterity for attack and damage rolls.
Finally, Battle Smiths get the Steel Defender. With our tinkering, we create our first companion, a steel defender; it is friendly to us and our companions and obeys our commands. With that, we got ourselves the one and only K9
Level 4 - Artificer: At this level, we get our first Ability Score Improvement! However, instead of upgrading our abilities this time, we'll grab a feat. The Telepathic feat from Tasha's Cauldron of Everything will represent the Doctor's limited psychic abilities: we increase one of our non-physical abilities by 1, let's go for Intelligence. We can speak telepathically to any creature within 60 feet, but the creature cannot reply (unless they're telepathic too, of course). Finally, we can touch a Detect Thoughts spell once per long rest, without a need to expend spell slots. Give your target a good headbutt, and learn their surface thoughts.
We also get our final spell: Catapult turns one inanimate object that isn't worn or carried (and weighs from 1 to 5 pounds) and turns it into a remote projectile. The object flies in a straight line for 90 feet before losing its momentum and falling. If it hits a creature, they have to make a Dexterity saving throw or take 3d8 bludgeoning damage. Distract your pursuers with a head of cabbage flying at their heads.
Level 5 - Rogue: We say goodbye to the Artificer, as we move onto Rogue for the rest of the build. Rogues use the same Hit Dice as Artificers, so nothing really changes when it comes to our Hit Points. We already have proficiency with light armour and thieves' tools, but we can pick one class skill – let's pick Acrobatics for better running and parkour chances when escaping aliens and responsibilities.
Rogues start with Expertise, which lets us double our proficiency bonus (NOT ability modifier) for two skills of our choice: let's boost Insight and History, to best utilize our centuries of living. We also learn how to speak Thieves' Cant, a special system of phrases and signals used by other Rogues to communicate without revealing their secrets. Finally, we have Sneak Attack: once per turn we can add 1d6 extra damage if a) we have an advantage on our roll, or b) the target is within 5 feet of another creature hostile towards it. The attack must be done by either a ranged weapon or one with the finesse property (like a dagger or a rapier).
Level 6 - Rogue: We get Cunning Action, which let us turn some Actions we can do in combat into Bonus Actions. That way, we still have an Action to spare if we decide to use Dash, Disengage, or Hide. Considering how much running the Doctor does, it's good to have something else to do just in case.
Level 7 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack changes to 2d6.
We also get to pick our second subclass, our Roguish Archetype. Now, initially, I considered going Swashbuckler, as it combines nimble footwork and gives us some charm abilities. However, since we're going with the build that emphasizes support and actual combat as a last resort, we'll go with Inquisitive.
We start this subclass with Ear for Deceit, whenever we roll Insight checks to determine if a creature is lying to us, we treat each roll of 7 or lower as 8.
We also get Eye for Detail. This is mostly to be used in combat (or if your DM runs dungeons in Initiative Mode), as it allows us to use Perception or Investigation checks as a bonus action, where it would normally take an action.
Finally, Inquisitive Rogues get Insightful Fighting. As a bonus action, we can make an Insight check, contested by the enemy's Deception check. If we succeed, for 1 minute we can use our Sneak Attack on the target even if we don't have an advantage or the target isn't near another of its enemies.
Level 8 - Rogue: Time for another ASI! Let's raise our Intelligence by 1 point, and use the spare one for Strength.
Level 9 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack changes to 3d6.
We also get Uncanny Dodge. Whenever we're being hit by an attack, we can use our reaction to halve the damage dealt.
Level 10 - Rogue: Halfway through the build, and we get another shot at Expertise. Once again, we get two skills to which we can double our proficiency bonus. Let's go with Perception and Investigation.
Level 11 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack becomes 4d6.
We also get one of the better abilities in the game, Evasion. If we're being targeted by an AoE attack that would deal half damage on a successful Dexterity saving throw, we take no damage if we make the save. What that means is, we can now take a Fireball face-on, shrug it off and loudly proclaim
Level 12 - Rogue: We get another ASI. Let's improve our Dexterity by two points this time.
Level 13 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack becomes 5d6.
We also get another subclass feature. Steady Eye gives us an advantage on Perception or Investigation checks if we move no more than half of our movement speed on our turn.
Level 14 - Rogue: Time for another ASI. Let's focus on getting some more Hit Points this time, and get +2 points to Constitution.
Level 15 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack becomes 6d6.
At this level, we get Reliable Talent, which upgrades our abilities to almost anime protagonist-level. Whenever we make a check for a skill we're proficient in, we treat all rolls of 9 and lower as 10.
Level 16 - Rogue: We're getting one more ASI. Let's raise our Dexterity again, putting 2 points in it.
Level 17 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack becomes 7d6.
We get our final subclass upgrade for this build, the Unerring Eye. We can now sense illusions and magical tricks within 30 feet, as well as shapechangers not in their original form. We can detect there is an effect trying to trick our senses around us, but we don't know its nature (i.e. if we meet a creature that activates our sense, we cannot distinguish whether it's a Disguise Self spell, or a natural shapeshifting ability, or a Druid's Wild Shape).
Level 18 - Rogue: We get another one of the best abilities in the game, Blindsense. We can now detect the presence of invisible and hidden creatures within 10 feet radius of us.
Level 19 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack becomes 8d6.
Our mind becomes more slippery with Slippery Mind. We gain proficiency in Wisdom saving throws.
Level 20 - Rogue: Our build's capstone is Rogue 16, which is also our final ASI. Let's finally cap Intelligence, as it should've been from the start when it comes to Time Lords.
---
There it is. My take on how to play as the Doctor in Dungeons & Dragons. I believe I've covered most if not all of the important features the Doctor has, but let's see:
Let's face it, we're not a frontline fighter... we're not even a backline fighter. We support. With 14 AC (without armour), 151 Hit Points on average, and a +4 to Initiative, our job is to manoeuvre, around the battlefield and let our friends take care of the enemy, while we do other things. With Reliable Talent and Expertise we are great at sweeping the room for clues and hints, even if in the heat of battle. Thanks to Unerring Eye and Blindsense, our senses aren't that easy to fool.
Unfortunately, our Strength is not great, and that means some weapons are just a hindrance (unless we pick a finesse weapon, which replaces Strength with Dexterity). While we have late-game proficiency in Wisdom saving throws, throughout the earlier stages those might prove a little problem.
---
And that is it for this build. I hope that you guys enjoyed it, and I'll see you for the next one!
- Nerdy out!
#d&d 5e#dnd#dungeons and dragons#character building#the doctor#doctor who#new who#classic who#time lord#artificer#battle smith#rogue#inquisitive#revenant
66 notes
·
View notes
Note
Do you think we all (cast included) misunderstood Lucien's plans and intentions (and a few of his actions) as surely evil because of our impression of Molly? The closer we get to the city the more I think it's less of a world ending emergency and more of a conman's dreams and delusions, twisted by a hive mind entity. I can't say he's just a victim but I have my doubts on where he actually stands without Nonagon. Any thoughts on...everything...? I love reading you talk about all of them!
Oh, this is definitely a tricky question. I think it’s hard to pin down what Lucien wants exactly--especially since he, that shard of Molly, and the Somnovum have all bled together. But we do get some interesting clues to try and piece together where he’s going in terms of the big picture. And I think you’re very much right about Lucien’s original intentions being misguided by the Somnovum.
I think Caleb is able to express a very intuitive understanding of what ultimately drives Lucien. When he’s explaining everything to Essek, Caleb says, “Our understanding of this is rudimentary at best, but these Tomb Takers--this purple one we have mentioned--believes that he can achieve all his dreams if he brings this city of dreamers back into the world, we think.” At his core, I think that’s what Lucien really wants. And during the last episode, he echoes this again and again:
Lucien: “Long ago, there was a group of people who had an idea to get away from oppressive minds, and pursue their dreams. And when destruction came out of their making, they were ready, or so they thought. And they shunted their people across the planes to safety, in the Astral Plane, where they knew they could make their dreams a reality...And there’s so much that they could do, but they just lack the guidance. It’s a waste of potential. But, I think I could show em. And, maybe if you decide to be more friend than foe, when all is done, I could make your dreams come true as well.”
It’s reminiscent of when Lucien asked each of the Nein if they had an imagination, and what they’d do if they could have any wish of theirs granted. He’s a dreamer. He believes he has some grand plan for the City that will bring clarity to them, change the course of their doomed fate. He’s doing this for himself, certainly. But bizarrely enough, he sees himself as a kind of misguided savior, as someone who simply knows better. Who, given the chance and power, could salvage the remnants of the City and break them free of their living nightmare.
“I’m their savior as they were mine. I will save them from their pain. From their wasteful existence.” I mean, he calls himself a king so we know he has a nice seat on the throne lined up for him when this all goes down. But still. He seems to think he’ll be a good king for these people, someone who can save them. And that’s....certainly interesting. It suggests there’s a kind of misconstrued sense of supposed nobility to his intentions.
Of course, it’s important to remember that Lucien wasn’t always this way. He’s not someone like Vess, who started off seeking this kind of otherworldly power, who set out to rule the world. He was scared of the book, once. When he first saw the Eyes of Nine, he admits to Jester that he was horrified. “But, then the dreams started coming. Something was spilling into them. And it wanted my help.” At a certain point, Lucien himself and what he originally wanted began to fade. “So at that point, Luicen became more of a--more of a costume. The Nonagon became more of a presence.” His wants and dreams became one with the City, and he was powerless to resist.
Lucien is quite literally the perfect candidate for the Nonagon, because he’s exactly like all those denizens of the Cognoza ward. Lucien describes everyone in that city as having their souls shattered and slowly reforged by the Somnovum, put together until they became one with the Eyes of Nine, entirely driven by this world of dreams, the fanatical belief that they could make all their desires a reality.
Lucien: “Unfortunately, they didn’t account for was this terrible psychic storm that awaited them, that wracked every mind and spirit and shattered them until they became one with their own city. Death would have been a mercy. But instead, thousands of people, and the Somnovum that guided them, were broken. And overtime slowly reformed. Powerful. The instinct of their dreams guiding them, in the place where they could will their dreams to be--were their will not so fragmented.”
Sound familiar? It’s exactly what happened to Lucien after Vess broke his spirit and scattered all the broken pieces into the Astral Sea.
Lucien: “Imagine if you will, you, the very idea of you, your singular conscience and every thought you had, was accompanied by a hundred screaming thoughts fighting for attention...That was the prison I was sent to. My spirit broken and blown across the Astral winds. But it took the Somnovum following my scent, much like I followed hers, to find all my pieces and put them back together again.”
Lucien was himself destroyed, his sense of identity obliterated. He is whatever shape the Somnovum have made them, a patchwork of their ceaseless chorus of screaming voices in the endless dream. Lucien expresses gratitude to the Somnovum for saving him, painstakingly piecing him back together. And he seems to genuinely believe he can save them in turn. But they undoubtably did so in a deliberate design, with their own path for him in mind. He is of their own making, and I think that shows in his all consuming desire to rejoin them in their world.
But I think he does believe, in his own misguided way, under the thrall of the Somnovum, that he can change this City for the better. Make both their dreams and his--even the Nein’s--a reality. I don’t think that was just him baiting the Nein. Molly’s fondness for his friends still holds some sway over Luicen, even if he can’t quite understand it. “Because try as I might, a part of me still likes them.” Molly seems to be waking, bit by bit, and I think his wants and impulses are now bleeding into Lucien. It’s why he can’t seem to bring himself to kill them.
So yeah, I don’t think Lucien wants to bring about an end to the world, or some large scale destruction. I think he wants a new start for himself and Cognoza. A rebirth. Lucien may not have been “good,” but certainly some part of him was. Or was at least capable of it, as we’ve seen through the softer heart of Mollymauk. But I don’t think Lucien was ever really evil either. I think he’s more complicated than that, and his intentions reflect that.
“And you plan to go there and stay there? Or bring something back, and make this world better than how you found it?” I think there’s a reason why Lucien was able to look at Caleb and say “Yes” so easily, so genuinely. I think some part of him really does believe it. But those wants and dreams are also tangled up in that shard of Molly’s desire to keep the Nein close and grant their dreams as well, and both of them are caught up in the web spun by the Somnovum. It’s messy.
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ranking the six main boy/girl ships in Yu-Gi-Oh from best to worst!
Not all main girl ships are created equally, I'm afraid. Let's take a look at each ship and see what's up! (Except Sevens because as I mentioned in a previous post, I am way too far behind to comment on anything in that show.)
First up is Anzu and Yugi! And YES I do ship them! However, I don't ship Atem and Anzu. Anzu was friends with Yugi, and started to see him in a different light when Atem started showing up. However, those changing feelings also started to influence her feelings about Yugi as well. We saw that in Duelist Kingdom. Then in season 2 when she realizes they're two separate people, she gets really confused! Anzu doesn't know how to feel anymore! Then Atem and Yugi are both playing wingman for each other, so that's not helping matters. I don't really ship Atem and Anzu because Atem just doesn't seem super interested in their date. I know he had other things on his mind, but if they wanted me to ship it, now was the time to show off some chemistry and they didn't.
We saw in GX that Yugi grows up to look just like Atem and he also grows more confident over the course of the series. After the end of Duel Monsters, I think they're both too hurt by Atem's passing to be digging on each other. But, distance makes the heart grow fonder, and I feel like she's gonna come back from the states and have some heart-pounding feelings when she sees him again. And Yugi's feelings didn't change, they were just put on the back burner. So hopefully when they meet back up, sparks are gonna fly! At least, I hope so. <3
~
Next up is Asuka and Judai! When I watched their first duel, I was 100% on board with this ship. They were cute, they had great banter, it was a fair fight. I loved it! But over the course of the series, I started losing interest in their relationship, fast. By the end of season 2 I was pretty convinced they had abandoned Asuka x Judai for Asuka x Manjoume, and honestly, I was 100% on board with that, I love a good romcom couple and those two have dysfunctional romcom energy. Plus they had evil power couple vibes when they were running the Society of Light together, so I thought for sure they were gonna have Manjoume and Asuka be better friends post possession.
Then season 3 came a long and I was like "woah, they DID do that on purpose! I was right!" when we saw the Judai x Johan x Yubel love triangle they spent the entire season on. Asuka and Manjoume were of course relegated to background characters, as was everyone who wasn't a transfer student. And then the series ended with a pretty definitive Judai x Yubel ending and I was like "cool I like it".
But then season 4 made me question everything by making it clear that Asuka was still crushing on Judai?!?! Uhhh.... what? You haven't mentioned this crush in OVER TWO YEARS ASUKA. You've both changed so much! I thought the whole point was "she had a fleeting crush on him in year 1, but people change and so do our feelings"! I thought they had her fall out of love with him on purpose!! You're telling me the writers just wanted us to ASSUME she was still in love with him this whole time?!
I honestly love the whole "had a crush on him, now that I know him better, he's an amazing friend but I don't like him that way anymore" dynamic and they RUINED IT so bad. And for what? To say "well they fought the whole time, but now look! They can tag duel together!" Well, jokes on them, because a few episodes later Judai and Johan will show off some of the tightest teamwork in the show and I'll have to throw Asuka x Judai in the trash. </3`
~
Yusei x Aki!!!!!! AHHHHHH I LOVE THEM. Their first duel is very romantic in my opinion. Yusei lives to help people, and it's actually a flaw of his that he'll help people no matter the cost. Usually that's sort of a "who cares" flaw in a protagonist, but for Yusei, it adds a lot of depth to his character. The reason he helps people even at the cost of himself is because he feels enormously guilty due to his parents' involvement in Zero Reverse, and he feels like he owes the world (but especially Satellite) everything. Yusei tried to go to jail in Kiryu's stead, but failed, and I think that only compounded his guilt even more.
Then, when Yusei sees the chance to help Aki, he does it. He's scared of her, but he rallies his courage to face her so that he can help her. And it's only natural that Aki would fall hopelessly in love with him after he continually put himself at risk over and over again JUST to help her. I love the episode where she rescues him from being kidnapped and then accompanies him on a riding duel. I think it hits me harder because it reminds me of how much I want to drive a motorcycle but can't because of reasons I won't go into. But part of her desire to learn to riding duel is because she wants to feel the same things Yusei feels. And that's so cute!
Unfortunately, I do have a certain headcanon that gets in the way of my shipping desires. I won't get into the whole headcanon, but I think Yusei might have ended up time travelling back in time to fix Zero Reverse and prevent Zone's future. And Aki wouldn't have come with him because we see her in the flashforward. Yusei is still giving her strength though. And I like to think that maybe a much older Yusei was able to help a much younger Aki control her powers and not enter a cult in the new timeline. And if my headcanon isn't true, then GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES GUYS. <3
~
On the one hand, I love Kotori x Yuma. They’re so adorable! Not only is Kotori surprisingly self-aware of her crush (usually the YGO girls love to deny it) but Yuma clearly treats her differently from the rest of his friends, even though he doesn’t know why (yet). Kotori’s confession at the end of the show is SO CUTE AND ADORABLE and Yuma accepts and I love it!
But… I can’t love it as much as I WANT to love it. Kotori’s character, especially in Zexal II is kind of boring. I liked her a lot in Zexal I actually. I thought it was fine to have a character not duel as long as she was doing something else. In season 1 she occasionally gets shit done. Or she’s there for comic relief like when she’s riding the duel coaster. Or arguing with Orbital 7. It wasn’t much, but it was something. In season 2, she’s a total non-entity. I thought the duel where she gets possessed was very funny, but I almost wish that her getting possessed by a Barian was played for drama rather than laughs.
I think what could have been cool is either a) after she can hear Astral, her and Astral team up for a duel or b) when watching Yuma she started to memorize his strategies. Or both. Or neither, just get this girl something to do BESIDES watch Yuma! In the end, my love for how adorable these two are is always somewhat soured by Kotori’s squandered potential. <3
~
Speaking of squandered potential, Yuzu and Yuya are next on the list. I love these two A TON! I’ll be perfectly honest and admit my biases here, I am NOT the biggest fan of Arc-V. The show had a lot of problems, and I’m harsher on it than most.
But one thing I really did like about the beginning of the show was Yuzu! She was independent, driven and her dueling was getting better as the show progressed. Just like Kotori, she became a non-entity in the latter seasons. However, I ship Yuya x Yuzu more than I ship Yuma x Kotori because Yuya was always keeping Yuzu in mind during the latter seasons. So it still felt like the ship was in focus, whereas with Kotori x Yuma, the ship kind of disappeared since more important things were going on. For Yuya, nothing was more important than getting Yuzu back, so really I had no choice BUT to ship it. How could I not? It was so sweet! She was his whole world! I wish we got more scenes with the two of them together though. Them never tag dueling is a crime against humanity. Also its total BS that only Yuya and Yuzu got to come back, but whatever, I guess. I was happy that the two of them reunited and even HAPPIER that the show was finally over. <3
~
Last and basically least, Yusaku x Aoi. Or Playmaker x Blue Maiden. I’ll be honest, I don’t ship this at all. The show doesn’t go through any effort to get us invested in their so-called “relationship” and if I had watched this show on its own, unaware of the series’ tropes, I wouldn’t have assumed they were a “ship” at all. With Judai x Asuka, I actually liked the fake out (at least until S4 when I wondered whether or not the fake out was actually on purpose or if the writers are just morons) but with Yusaku x Aoi I get frustrated because it wouldn’t have been that hard to GIVE them some chemistry. They’re both interesting characters, and I think Aoi and Yusaku could have had an interesting dynamic if Aoi had learned Playmaker’s identity a lot sooner.
What I think the show should have done was have Aoi discover Playmaker and Soulburner’s identity at the same time they discovered each other. Then have Aqua come into the fold a lot earlier. Trios are popular in fiction for a reason, and I think Yusaku, Takeru and Aoi would have been an excellent trio. Specifically, with both Yusaku and Aoi being so reserved, their relationship would be very understated. But that’s not a bad thing. It just means that the writers would have to put more focus on the little things. Like, maybe after a while of being friends, Yusaku sits next to her in class. That would be a small thing for other people, but for those two, that’s huge! I could also see there being a fun episode where Ai tries to trick them into going on a date but fails spectacularly. The two of them end up spending time together to foil the plan. That could be really cute! LITERALLY ANYTHING is better than NOTHING.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t ship this because the writers thought they could get me to ship it just by having boy meets girl and then having them shake hands over a hundred episodes later. And no. I refuse. I need a LITTLE more than that, please and thank you. </3
~
That was a very long post! All in all, 4/6 ain’t bad at all! Or maybe it’s more like a 3.5 since I only gave Kotori and Yuma a small heart? It doesn’t really matter, I’m a multishipper. At my heart and soul, I’ll ship anything. Like I said I don’t ship Judai and Asuka, but I totally have shippy fanart of them on my phone, lol. It’s more like… which of these ships would I defend in court and which ships do I only like because I’m trash that’ll ship anything?
Oh, I guess I did title this as a ranking... Well, I'm sure you can figure out my most and least favourites by how much I used caps lock, so it should be fine.
Give me ANY Yu-Gi-Oh ship (straight, gay or in between) and I’ll dissect it like I did these six.
#yugioh#yugioh gx#yugioh 5ds#yugioh zexal#yugioh arc v#yugioh vrains#yugi moto#judai yuki#yusei fudo#yuma tsukumo#yuya sakaki#yusaku fujiki#anzu mazaki#asuka tenjoin doesn't have a tag??#alexis rhodes#aki izayoi#kotori mizuki#yuzu hiiragi#aoi zaizen#blue maiden#i guess i should put their ship names too#peachshipping#fianceshipping#faithshipping#skyshipping#fruitshipping#angelmakershipping#if i screwed up the ship name please tell me
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Technique For Astral Traveling
Hey guys!
So I've finally decided to post my technique for astral traveling. I've been keeping it to myself mostly as a protective measure, but I've decided that I'm safe revealing it; besides, I think a lot of people could benefit from it.
Before I begin it is very important to distinguish; this is astral TRAVELING, not astral PROJECTING. Knowing the difference is a very big part in actually doing it. Astral projection is when your soul/spirit, while connected by a thread, leaves your body. Your entire being/consciousness is flying through and exploring the astral world and other planes. This is what most people think of when they think of astral traveling, and I did too when I started out; as a result, I got super frustrated when I couldn't do it.
Astral traveling is not the same. When you are astral traveling, your soul/spirit remains in your physical body. Your consciousness, or rather part of it, is what is going up and joining your astral self, which then can travel the astral plane. Again, this is important. You aren't going to leave your body completely. A part of your consciousness and awareness will be in your physical body; this is normal.
Alright. Now that we understand the difference, we can begin.
Step 1: Relax and Lie Down
I usually like to do some light stretching and whatever else I like to do to relax before beginning. Always make sure that your body is relaxed and your mind is calm; if you are tense or wound up, it could become a block for you.
I recommend lying down while you astral travel, as I find it easier to relax and I don't have to devote as much energy to stay sitting up. The only downside is that sometimes you might find yourself dozing off! But try both, and then do what works best for you.
Step 2: Enter a Meditative State
However you like to do this is up to you. Deep breathing is a must. I like to use meditation beads, or do a little bit of energy work before hand.
Step 3: Count and Climb
Okay, so now we begin. You're going to want to count down. I recommend picking 50 or 60 if this is your first time doing this. For the purpose of this tutorial, I'll just say 50. So you are going to slowly count down, from 50, in increments of 10.
At the same time, you are going to imagine a ladder hanging above your body, that climbs up so high that you cannot see the end of it. Imagine yourself sitting up and forward out of your body, and grabbing the first rung of this ladder.
Now this is where the counting comes in. You are going to count down from 50, imagining that you are climbing up this ladder, one rung at a time, per number. When you hit an increment of 10 (40, 30, 20, etc) you are going to imagine that you climb up to a ledge. Imagine yourself hoisting yourself up onto the ledge. The ladder continues rising above you.
Continue doing this until you get to 10.
Step 4: The Door, and Establishing Sensation
Once you get to 10, imagine that the ladder ends, and before you is a staircase, with a ledge at 5 and 0. As you get to 5, you look up and you see a faint light, that grows brighter as you climb, eventually reaching the top of the staircase.
At this point, you are going to want to open up your mind/intuition. Don't picture anything in your mind, don't try and force something that you want to look, just open your mind, push out any thoughts, and then go with the first thing that pops into your head, even if it seems odd or weird.
With your mind open, observe the hall in front of you. There should be a hall that is about 10 feet long, with light along the walls. At the end of the hall is a large door, or 2 doors.
How this looks can and will be different every single time. I've come up cobblestone steps to find torches lining the walls and a weathered, iron-reinforced oak door. I've come up marble steps to find lightbulbs lining the walls and finding glass doors. It's going to be different, and that is completely okay.
Once you've taken in as much as you can about this hallway/door, you're going to stop and stretch. At this point, and this might be a weird concept/sensation, but part of your consciousness should be in this body/form that is standing in this hallway. Hold on to that feeling as best as you can, as you do some stretches to solidify the feeling.
Rub your hands together very quickly, feeling the sensation of rubbing, and then the heat from the rub as you pull your hands apart. Shake them out. Stomp your feet on the ground, and then slowly stomp in a circle. Jump up and down a couple of times.
And then breathe. Breathe in deeply, holding, then releasing. Repeat 3 times. Repeat again, this time on the inhale raising your hands up in front of you all the way up above your head, then bringing them down on the sides of your body on the exhale. Repeat 3 times. Repeat again, this time on the inhale raising your hands up along the sides of your body to the top of your head, then bringing them down the front of your body on the exhale.
At this point, you should be feeling very "present" inside your current body. This is your astral form. You can also take note of what you are wearing/what you look like, as I've found that this also changes every time that I go.
Step 5: Enter Into Your Astral Space
At this point, you are ready. Approach the door, and open it. As you do, again, clear your mind and open your intuition; this is how you see in the astral plane. This I've found is actually the hardest part of astral travelling, is the first step. But go with the first thing that pops into your head, even if it seems strange or it's not what you would think it is.
Imagine like a large courtyard, with walls surrounding the perimeter. This is your astral space. Allow your intuition to fill it in, as to what it looks like. Step into your astral space, and let your astral travels begin.
Step 6: Leaving The Astral
When you are ready to leave, you are essentially going to do everything in reverse. Leave your astral space through the door you came in. You will find yourself back in the hallway. Take some deep breaths, relaxing. Then, climb down the steps, and then descend down the ladder, stopping at the ledges when you come to them. When you finally reach the bottom, lie back down in your body, move your fingers and toes, and then your hands, and then open your eyes.
It's very important that when you leave the astral, you reverse everything that you did to get there. If you don't, you run the risk of not completely leaving the astral and endangering yourself.
Tips, Tricks, and Observations
The biggest and best tip I can give you is to try everything; no one thing is going to work for everyone. Try different things, get out of your comfort zone, and do what works best for you. This is how you learn and grow.
If you are having a hard time seeing in the astral plane, then you need to spend some time working on your visualization. Also, working on developing your clairvoyance is huge.
You might feel like you are just using your imagination, and that's okay. One of the biggest blocks I had to astral travelling is that I expected it to be some very huge, big thing, that would like dramatically separate my consciousness from my body. Again, this isn't astral projection, and once I released this thought, it became easier.
Going off of the last one, at first you might find yourself struggling to discern what is real and what is your imagination. If you are having doubts about something you are seeing/experiencing, continue with it, even if you have a doubt. Eventually, you will experience something that you can absolutely 100% say was independent from you, and then from there discernment will become easier.
So for me, when I am astral traveling, I am seeing myself in 3rd person, like I am seeing myself from an outside perspective moving around and interacting. I'm actually not certain as to what the most common perspective is, so try both 2nd and 3rd person and do what works best for you.
When I am ascending the ladder, I actually rotate between going up a ladder and going up a flight of stairs. It keeps things fresh and present and prevents you from falling into a habit.
Going to the astral plane takes up a lot of energy, so when you first get into it, even if you are excited and bursting at the seams, limit yourself to once a day. If you are not careful and conservative you will fry your energy and then you won't be able to go at all until you recover.
I think that’s it for now!! I will edit this post if i think of more tips, and i’ll reblog it with fixes if i need to. But i hope that you guys find success with this technique. It works really well for me, and i think you’ll find that it will work well for you, too.
Blessings!
#mine#astral travel#astral plane#astral#astral traveling#witchcraft#witchblr#baby witch#spirit work#hedge witch#clairvoyance#clairvoyant#psychic#spiritual
3K notes
·
View notes
Link
((Shadowbringers 5.3-5.4. I wanted to have this done by the 15th of January but didn’t quite manage it because these two idiots are wordy as heck, and I initially started in the wrong place and POV. I wrote roughly 8000 words total and only ended up using half of them. There are letters and pining and admitting things happening here.
Below the cut as usual for those who prefer Tumblr to Ao3, but the formatting may work better on that site.))
Aeryn stepped through the mirror and into the familiar space of the Ocular, taking a moment to reorient herself after the rush of journeying between worlds. Once the vertigo had passed she left the Tower, the Crystarium guards greeting her as she crossed the Exedra. It took some questioning before she was finally pointed to where Ryne was currently; training with Captain Lyna just outside the city gates.
She simply watched for a time as Lyna tried to keep her distance while Ryne tried to close in. Aeryn did not announce herself, simply noting how Ryne’s bladework had improved, at least one new trick learned since the last time Aeryn had watched her fight.
“That is enough for now,” Lyna said as they reached a breakpoint in their dance. “And the Warrior of Darkness has waited long enough,” she continued with a wry smile in Aeryn’s direction.
Ryne started, then turned with a grin, hurrying over to give Aeryn a hug. “It’s good to see you! Oh sorry, I’m all sweaty…”
Aeryn laughed, brushing damp strands of hair from Ryne’s reddened face. It was still winter in Eorzea, but in Norvrandt spring was on the horizon and the morning was warm. “Not to worry. Hope you don’t mind the interruption.”
Lyna waved them off. “Go on; we can catch up later.”
Aeryn nodded, knowing the captain wanted word of her grandfather, and G’raha had given Aeryn a small package to deliver, but that would wait until Lyna was off duty and had readied herself. There was an order to such things with the stoic woman.
Instead, Aeryn turned back to Ryne and smiled. Had she gotten taller? “I have a question, if you’ll indulge me.”
“Of course!” Ryne answered as they walked across the bridge into the city. “What is it you need?”
“I have a note from Thancred; he and Urianger are currently on a mission, but he left me instructions for tod--well. The day it is back on the Source.”
“I see. What are the instructions?”
“I’m to ask you about the black willow box he kept in his room here.”
Ryne paused, a little sharp breath escaping. “Ryne?” Aeryn asked.
“Sorry! It’s just I was under strict instruction never to open the box, though I have the key now, of course; I still didn’t dare. It’s where he kept,” she hesitated.
“Kept what?”
“I’ll show you; it’s a good thing--I think--that he wants you to see. Come on!” Ryne dashed toward her apartment as if she hadn’t just completed a long practice session with the captain of the guard. Aeryn picked up her own pace to follow along after.
It did not take long for them to reach the apartment Ryne used to share with Thancred. As the girl opened the door, Aeryn realized it was the first time she had returned to these rooms since the Scions’ departure from the First. It was much as she remembered, though lacking Thancred’s continued presence. Evidence of Gaia’s frequent visits were visible instead, from lipstick-stained coffee mugs at the sink to dark ribbons left on an end table to a book that did not seem to be to Ryne’s taste on a sofa cushion.
Ryne paused in front of the door that had led to Thancred’s small room. “I haven’t been in here since,” she trailed off, shaking her head. “Gaia and Taynor sorted most of it, actually, so only a few personal things remain. I should probably move to a smaller suite to let someone else use the space…”
“Maybe you need a roommate,” Aeryn suggested. “Perhaps Gaia could stay with you.”
Ryne reddened. “We’ve considered it, but I’m just…” She gave a helpless little laugh as she shrugged, looking up at Aeryn apologetically. “I’m just not quite ready, I think. It’s silly, but there’s a part of me that keeps hoping they’ll find a way--a safe way--to return. Even just for a little while.”
Aeryn squeezed Ryne’s shoulder. “It’s not silly,” she said quietly. “And I keep hoping that, too. Fairly certain Y’shtola has it at the top of her projects list.”
Ryne laughed, truly this time. “She would!” She looked at the door again. “The box should be on the shelf above the writing desk,” she offered Aeryn a small key. “I’ll let you see for yourself.”
Aeryn nodded, taking the little key and entering the room.
It was familiar, yet unfamiliar. Always small, it had kept from being cramped mainly by virtue of Thancred’s own minimalist tendencies with his added reluctance of accumulating things on the First that he would have to leave behind in the end. Even so, the room felt barren, many necessities and items missing, given away to be used by others in need among the Crystarium’s residents; naught went to waste while still usable.
The bed was neatly made; her eyes lingered for a moment, recalling a handful of pleasant times curled up together in it. They had often met in her own chambers for privacy, especially when feeling the need for more than simple closeness. There was a bench under the shuttered window; he used to clean his gunblade there, storing materials and parts in a chest beneath the bench. Nothing remained but the seat.
The writing desk was really a tall square table, a stool for the chair, in a corner of the room. Two simple shelves hung on the wall above it, some of Thancred’s personal effects that remained neatly placed upon them. The black willow box was a simple but lovely piece of old Nabaath make. It was familiar only in that it was a part of the room, always upon the shelf above the desk, a background decoration.
She had to stretch a little to pull the small box down. She unlocked it, pondering what it could contain for one last moment before opening the lid to find out.
Neatly folded pages, Thancred’s familiar handwriting covering them, five different bundles marked by Vrandtic dates in Eorzean lettering. The earliest one was dated five--no, six years ago now, in the midst of Thancred’s first year in this world, just after the Vrandtic new year. The second bundle was dated a year later. Then the third, then a fourth. The final bundle broke the date pattern, written...She shivered. The dates would have been the time after they assaulted Mt Gulg and before seeking Emet-Selch and the Exarch in the Tempest, when she had lain in a Light-induced fever for days in between.
All of the letters, long and detailed, were addressed to her.
Aeryn carried the box to the window and opened the shutters, letting in the natural light of day. She sat at the bench, picked up the first letter, and began to read, brows already rising at the first line.
My Dear Aeryn,
It’s been roughly half a year, to me, since I arrived in this world. We search for a means to send me back, but given the dangers, it’s difficult to say if we shall ever be successful. I hold onto hope, given we have made the impossible happen more than once—particularly when you are involved.
I know so much less time is passing for you, even as time is difficult to track beneath the eternal Light, but the people still mark the hours and days as best they can--perhaps better than we do in the Source, reliant as we are upon the sun and stars. So as the calendar year turns to a new page, I find myself confronted by reminders of you at every turn, my own mind noting the dates, as if counting down to your nameday in truth.
Violas grown in the Hortorium call to mind your favored hair decoration and your scents carried with it. The heather meadows and clear mountain springs of Il Mheg make me think of the taste of your magic. Treasure hunters in Mord Souq unearth duelist rapiers reminiscent of your combat style. The grey waters of a lake, shifting in color and tone under the burning sky, remind me of your eyes and ever-shifting moods.
I think of our new situation, how fragile it all still seems, our duties as Scions, the distance between Ala Mhigo and Doma keeping us apart more often than I liked. Especially after already having denied my own interests for far longer than I care to admit.
I fear now, not knowing when I may return to your side--in whatever capacity--that I am forgetting important things, and I very much do not want to. So indulge me as I list your various qualities that I admire, to remind myself why I allowed myself to maintain my impossible infatuation for so long, even as you became one of my dearest friends...
Aeryn eyes widened as she turned to the next page, then quickly checked the several pages following; Thancred had indulged his bardic habits, writing in verse and engaging in wordplay. Even the most innocent descriptions and memories of moments together, professional and extremely personal, were laden with puns and innuendo--not entirely unexpected from him.
She was mostly through the verses, trying to parse every dedicated line, when a knock at the door startled her.
“Aeryn?” Gaia called. “Everything all right?”
She cleared her throat. “Fine; I’ve quite a bit of reading to do, though; I may need some water.”
The door opened, Gaia appearing with a tray already in hand. “Ryne thought you might--are you all right? You’re redder than I have ever seen, and that’s saying something.”
Aeryn pressed a hand to her warm cheeks. “I’m fine. Just...wasn’t expecting some of what I found so far.”
“Is that good or bad?” The girl asked, setting the tray on the nearby side table in easy reach. There was a small tea service and also ice water, bless them.
“It’s...Better than good,” Aeryn replied. “I may be awhile, though.”
Gaia shrugged in her nonchalant, pretending-not-to-care way. “Doesn't matter to me, but I was going to drag Ryne out for a while, just so you know. You’ll be fine here by yourself--won’t you?” A little genuine care came through in the last two words, despite her attempts to seem otherwise.
Aeryn nodded.
“All right. Enjoy your reading, and we’ll see you later.” Gaia gave a little wave before leaving, quietly closing the door behind her.
Aeryn cleared her throat again, sipping the cup of minty green tea--bless those girls again--and set the first letter aside for now. She would get back to that later; alone in her own room, where she could bury her face in a pillow and shriek like a schoolgirl when overwhelmed by his words, godsdamn him. For now, the second bundle had her curious.
My Dearest Aeryn,
I almost let the date slip by, I am ashamed to say. So much has happened in recent weeks...
She read through two pages of his recounting Minfilia’s story and the reincarnations that had followed, offering a small hope to Norvrandt; of Urianger and Y’shtola’s arrival, his anger at the spell’s failure and yet relief at seeing Urianger again; and their shift in focus upon learning of the Eighth Umbral Calamity.
...Urianger’s vision of the Calamity, of our deaths, is a sobering thought. The idea of you fallen especially freezes my blood. I cannot bear the thought.
So I redoubled my efforts to rescue the girl bearing Minfilia’s name and appearance. She sleeps now on a cot in this Mord town as I write. She can’t be more than twelve or thirteen summers; a frail little thing with no skills aside from reading books thicker than she is, and asking innumerable questions. They taught her nothing, simply locked her in a windowless cell under the waterline. For at least ten years, that is all the child’s known. If the fate Urianger saw for us makes my blood freeze, her situation makes it boil again. Should I chance to meet Eulmore’s General--the man responsible for her “care”--I will let him know exactly what I think.
Tomorrow Minfilia and I shall attempt to reach Nabaath Areng, the site of the Flood’s halting; the girl says she must go there, as if pulled. I have a hope I dare not voice yet. The Blessing of Light does work in such interesting ways.
But that is on the morrow; tonight, though a day late, I wished to write to you as I did last year. With the date in mind you have also been in my thoughts--when I’ve had a moment to think, at least--and I find myself recalling more and more often the little things. Simple things. Things I fear I may forget, having been here for years now, years without the way you tilt your head when you have a question. It initially annoyed me actually, you were so quiet but now, gods I would give much to be in your silence again, to see that quizzical look. Anything to see the little furrow between your brows when you’re thinking. When you prop your chin on your hands as you stare out a window, tea forgotten in your hand. How you unconsciously wriggle and make faces as you read, reacting to the pages, lips silently moving as you devour each word...
“Oh I do not,” Aeryn muttered--realizing in the same moment that she was doing that now. She sipped her tea and kept reading, noting how he wrote, as much as what; the moments where he had scratched out words, or underlined others. The splots where the pen had sat on the page a moment longer than normal as he thought of what he wanted to admit to. The way the letters slanted in places where he was eager. There was no poetry this time, fewer puns and word play. He had written when tired and possibly injured, given the shakiness of some lettering.
There were places where he couldn’t remember clearly--what perfume had she worn on the day of a particular memory? Was she wearing her red coat, or a blue dress in another? He wasn’t certain.
The letter wrapped up several pages later.
...I must get some sleep, given the long trek across the Amber Hills awaiting. I don’t know what will happen when we arrive, but whatever it is, I’ll keep the girl safe. Taking care of her is the only thing I can do, lacking the skills of the Exarch and our colleagues. Particularly now that we have abandoned the idea of going home--yet. I still don’t know how I feel about that, having struggled to find a way back for so long now, but there must be a home to return to. To save ourselves, we must save this realm. Forgive me; as much as I yearn to see you again, I wish for you to live far more. Despite everything, I still remain
Yours, Thancred.
Aeryn drew in a sharp breath; the previous letter’s signature had been much simpler, after all the floweriness of the verses. This simpler, newsy, reminiscent letter had such a different feel to it, so much changing for him in that year. Her eyes kept drifting to that closing.
It took a few moments before she was able to refold that bundle and open the next.
His next year in the First; this one another detailed description of events he survived, and quite a lot about Ryne, still only known as Minfilia at the time.
...I actually began this letter yesterday, as we rested in a small inn at the edge of the Greatwood. I thought of seeking out Y’shtola, but am unfamiliar with those dark and twisting paths, and was low on ammunition. Minfilia was exhausted, unable to fight or imbue cartridges, and I won’t risk her more than our constant travels already do.
It was she who reminded me that I had been writing, before she made me take my rest as well. I’ve never told her about these letters, but she’s a bright girl and I have told her of you. Sometimes it’s simply because she is curious about you, and the hope that you’ll come here and save yourself, as well as the rest of us. Many times though I don’t mean to say anything, but the stories simply come, like a slumbering spring awoken by new rains, bubbling up and overflowing the riverbanks.
It’s something about her, I suppose, that makes me remember, and so I must speak before the memories fade back into the dustier corridors of my mind. Perhaps an effect of her unique Blessing? Or perhaps simply her childish curiosity drawing it out of me.
There’s a selfish part of me that wants you to meet her. It would mean that you’re here, for one, but also I think you two would get along. She’s a good girl--with her moments of petulance and stubbornness, as many youths are wont, but she’s come such a long way already, has learned so quickly.
I fear influencing her. The choice she must make is so important, and it must be hers. You would be a much better role model; you inspire others to do what’s best simply by your presence. I’ve felt the lack of you more keenly this last year than ever before...
Aeryn read through, noting he wrote it more like a conversation she had yet to answer. Memories of their adventures and companionship were woven through the words more naturally as he spoke to her. She smiled as he spent a good chunk of the letter not even realizing how he had gushed about Ryne and all she had learned and how she had grown in that first year they spent together, as if he were trying to ensure Aeryn would love the child as much as he so obviously did--even if the foolish man hadn’t been able to tell the girl so until it had almost been too late.
But then, that was Thancred; locking his thoughts and feelings behind stoicism, snark, and literally in a box on a shelf.
She traced her nail along the letters of his name--again signed “Yours”--before tucking that bundle away and picking up the fourth.
By this time the twins were somewhere in Norvrandt, though Thancred had no opportunity to see them as Eulmore’s hunters were ever close. He wrote to Aeryn of his frustration with how many Scions had come to the First but she was still so far away and still in so much danger, alongside the rest of the Source and this shard itself. If she couldn’t come to Norvrandt to break the Light’s hold over the realm then the girl would have to make her choice sooner rather than later--and perhaps face the same fate as all of her predecessors.
He admitted that he feared both of those outcomes. He seemed to have begun to cross out that line, but had stopped himself.
...A nasty part of me believes you will never receive these nameday letters. That these are simply my way of remembering yet another important woman in my life I will never see again. I try not to dwell on such thoughts, try to keep busy, but you know me. Perhaps better than anyone since our Minfilia. How I wish I could speak with you again; patrolling through Mor Dhona, lunch at Rowena’s cafe, stargazing on the roofs of Ala Mhigo, reading in the Waking Sands’ dusty library. Simply holding you until we fall asleep, those few, rare moments we had. You always made me say more than I ever meant to; you’ve a way of drawing me out despite myself—and failing that, of simply being there as a brilliant, warm presence.
There are places here I want to show you, things I want to share. Yet I fear your coming, what it will mean. What changes I’ve experienced. What we had was...comfortable, and felt right, after so long, and yet it was still so new and fragile. I used to be confident in my ability to be delicate, but these last few years with this girl have made me feel boorish and clumsy. And I know I have changed, not just because of her, but everything in this hard world. Will you recognize me when we meet? Will you still want me, when you were already so uncertain before?
I suppose I shan’t know until you’re here, or we find a way home. Given the Exarch’s record, the former seems more likely. And it still worries me, much as I know it’s the better course to preserve all we hold dear...
Aeryn stared out the window for a long moment; she had known of his doubts, his fears; when she had arrived and finally found him again, it had been difficult. Yet despite everything, they had gotten past it.
She eyed the final bundle, slimmer than the rest, those dates seeming so heavy though she had no conscious recollection of them, given her state at the time. Having finished the tea, she poured a glass of water and began to read.
Aeryn,
Ryne assures us you will still be Aeryn when you wake; her wards hold for now. I pray long enough to find a cure for what those bastards did to you. What we did to you, unknowing. Will you be pleased to know I have not struck Urianger for his part? I was too tired and injured as we returned, and occupied with carrying you besides. Now I simply am too weary in heart and mind to conjure that initial anger, and he has had time to explain how the Exarch coerced him into his confidence.
I am still not happy about it.
For five years I waited to see you again, thought about you through many days and most nights--such as they are, here. It’s funny what one can become accustomed to in time. Finally seeing you again was a jolt to every one of my senses as the missing you had long since become more real to me, much as I longed for your presence.
And as I feared, you hesitated. I don’t blame you; I know this place changed me. What we had back home was still so new, despite the prior years we had known each other. So I tried to be content to merely be in your company once more. We had rebuilt our friendship once, we could do it again. I had been a fool to think I deserved more.
Then you sought me out in Rak’tika. Do I need to tell you how you intoxicated me that day? I hope I was a comfort, both in words and in the release you needed. The distance still felt too great, but this much, at least, I could give. I thought it would be enough, to simply be what you needed in the moment.
I know now that I was once again fooling myself.
These last few months traveling and fighting and just being together have been a strange mix of stress and relief; our mission had been dangerous and difficult in so many ways, and yet working together, it was hard not to get caught up in the optimism, in the feeling that things would turn out, that we would find a way.
And you were here; your quizzical headtilts, your faces when you read, the white flowers in your hair. Your silences, your laughter, your strength in combat and your helping with every common chore in the vicinity. I thought I could simply be happy to bask in your steady light.
But now, seeing it tear you apart, it is not enough; it never was, and never will be. I can live with it, should that be your wish. My wish, however, is to continue what we had once begun. To hold you close not only occasionally but always.
Aeryn felt a hard lump in her throat; there was a decent space between the lines, the ink thick where he had hesitated, the initial letters shaky. Still he had written them:
I am in love with you, Aeryn.
It’s taken me time to collect myself after rereading what I just wrote and fighting the urge to burn the whole page. A part of me fears that you will scoff, though the greater part of me knows--hopes--better of you.
And the gods know you deserve better than me, but if you’ll have me, I certainly won’t complain.
I know after everything with Ryne I ought to say it to you aloud. That it may already be too late to do so. I pray that isn’t the case. I pray I find the courage and the words both to say what you deserve to hear. Even should you never reciprocate; if that should be the case, you shall never hear another whisper from me on the matter.
But I hold out a small hope, that you will, that you do. That we will have the chance to discuss the matter further. That you survive.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I only know I’ll be at your side until the end; there’s nowhere else I can be.
Ryne is calling; hold on just a little while longer, darling.
Yours always, Thancred.
She covered her face with her hands, emotions and memories flooding over her. There were words before finally confronting Emet-Selch in his memory of Amaurot. More than words on returning to the Crystarium, bodies twined together in relief and comfort.
Then she had returned to the Source to report their success. She came back to the First as quickly as she could, though; not only was there still much work to do, but he was here, and things were...not exactly different, but not quite the same, either.
As she reread the last page, she noticed a swiftly written addendum on the back. She turned it over.
I carried these letters all the way to the Tempest, thinking if I failed to say anything I might at least give them to you--they are yours, after all. But of course no time seemed right, and with a screwing of my courage (and pointed prodding from Urianger), at the last I was able to say what I wished. Miraculously, you said it too.
And now here we are, you peacefully asleep while the night sky wheels overhead and I still hear the celebrations outside despite the ungodly hour. I’ll rejoin you in a moment, but I needed some time to attempt to process the last few days. What happened in the Tempest. The fact you’re alive, and healthy, and claim to love me in return.
I’m not entirely certain why, but I won’t complain, either.
Rereading these letters, I’m not sure I’m quite ready to hand them over yet. They’ll return to their box for now, and perhaps in a few days I’ll be ready to show you.
Aeryn laughed lightly; of course he had hesitated to share them. The letters showed all his vulnerabilities behind the serious, confident facade he had developed. And with everything in the Empty, and then Elidibus, it was no wonder the letters had fallen to the wayside.
Until her actual nameday on the Source had come around, his note delivered with her breakfast by Tataru per Thancred’s instructions while he was on his latest reconnaissance. It wasn’t as if he could have brought the letters with him, after all--nor given them to her in front of the rest of the Scions in the Ocular, nevermind how public their relationship was now.
She rubbed her face--she had cried more than a few times while reading--and replaced the letters in the box. She locked it, and pocketed the key.
The girls were still out so it was no trouble to take the tea service to the sink and clean it, along with the other dishes, giving her time and activity to settle. She finished by washing her own face, removing some evidence of her emotion.
Since the first year she had joined the Scions, they had given each other gifts; she had discovered his nameday from Minfilia, gifting him the orchestrion roll of a song she knew he liked from a favorite minstrel. Her own first nameday as a Scion had been missed due to Lahabrea and Baelsar’s schemes, but Thancred was certain to make up for it. Sometimes they were late, or even early, but they always managed a little something, even as friends.
Aeryn took the box with her as she left Ryne’s apartment. She still had a few people to see while here on the First--starting with Lyna and the messages from G’raha--but then she would retire to her own suite in the Pendants and do a bit of rereading.
And maybe a bit more once she returned home, too; after all, if she timed it right, it would still be her nameday, and the best time to reread her present.
#Final Fantasy XIV#Lyn Writing#Shadowbringers#Thancred Waters#Thancred x WoL#Shippy Nonsense#Aeryn Striker#Pining
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Underwing challenge 4
4. What’s the world of your WIP like?
So technically, according to the multiverse theory I’ve introduced in Astral, there’s like an infinite number of different universes, meaning that technically all my AUs are canon according to the lore of Astral.
But in all actuality, there’s only two (and a half, but that half only becomes relevant somewhat in Part 2) worlds we care about. There’s the “real world” which I honestly don’t know how to otherwise refer to it lmao, and then there’s Astral.
The “real world” is basically just your normal, average, high-school setting based in somewhere-generic Minnesota, because I am from somewhere-generic Minnesota lol. Nothing special, just full of snow bc it’s the dead of winter for the duration of Part 1.
Now Astral is...... well, I’m not entirely sure how large it is as a country, but in terms of worldbuilding, phew. So we’re gonna start with a lil geography lesson and go from there (also just focusing on Part 1 geography, considering how nebulous Part 2 currently is lol)
So the continent Astral is on consists of 5 distinct areas (at least that we care about). Across the mountains to the north, there’s a currently-unnamed country which is the home of the elves. How exactly they weave into the story of Astral is still a little up in the air, but I can say for certain that Celia does contribute to that.
To the south of Astral is the desert. It’s unclaimed by any sort of formally-recognized government, but occupied by a handful of nomadic tribes. Again, haven’t quite figured out how they weave in, other than Nashira and her mother and others of their tribe joining the resistance at some point. (I have a vague idea, but this post is gonna be long enough as it is lmao so if you’re curious, feel free to ask about it :) )
Astral itself is separated into three parts: The Eastern Kingdom, the Western Kingdom, and the Dragon Ridge that splits the two halves. Now, culture-wise, I’m pretty sure the Western and Eastern Kingdoms would be pretty distinct; After all, they’re separated by a pretty hefty mountain range, not to mention the fact that humans have been in the West for less time than they’ve been in the East. One thing for sure: there’s a lot more Celestial ruins in the West than the East, since the Celestials inhabited the West for a lot longer than they inhabited the East.
The Dragon Ridge is home to its own culture, as well as the dragons. Due to Reasons that I rambled on about a few days ago, the people who live in the mountains Do Not Trust people from the lowlands, as well as regard the dragons as gods without knowing they’re dragons. (Very paraphrased from this ramble).
Now for some “current events” in Astral:
The story of The Astral Chronicles starts ~10 years before Aiden even falls into Astral, when Maddox seizes the throne of Astral by murdering the current king and queen. He takes the prince hostage, while the princess and true heir to the throne flees into the night, disappearing so effectively that people wonder if she isn’t dead.
This sets into motion all the dominos of Astral, until we reach the moment where Aiden enters: Maddox has essentially spent the last 10 years being a dick and caring more about power than about the people of Astral. In the Western Kingdom (because the capital is in the East and they’re trying to stay under the radar), a rebellion is growing against Maddox, waiting for their two key players: the missing princess, and a mage that is supposedly Aiden.
I feel like Astral, at the beginning of Aiden’s journey is sorta... bleak, I guess, but with a light at the end of the tunnel if you get what I mean? Actually, I’m just gonna steal this line from one of my Astral summaries bc Rose puts it best:
“Ten years ago,” Rose says, looking out over the city, “Astral was full of lights. Even in the darkest nights you could always see a light in the distance. The night Maddox took over was the first night I had ever seen it truly dark.”
...
“Back then, the lights meant safety for me. But now, they mean hope.” Rose meets Aiden’s eyes as the city flickers to life below.
Gotta love all the light symbolism that starts popping up lol
Aight, I think that’s where I’m gonna leave off on this, though I’m sure I’ve overexplained some parts and underexplained others lol
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
-Rating and gushing about every Wizard101 “World”/Arc-
Imma just gush about my month of Wizard101 and how I finally got to a close “end” of the game.
24/12 Edit: Fixed some typos here and there and added some stuff.
07/09 Edit: KI decided to fully revamp Wiz city also changing some lore so the rating on that is outdated. Might also put my thought of the new Wiz City there once I’m through all the new content.
Arc 1 - Malistaire - 10/10
Prob my favourite.
The writing really ties in every world, even when you speedquest through it.
Contains a lot of my favourite worlds.
I’m still crying over Mali to this day...
(Old) Wizard City - 10/10
Literally the introduction to the game and the place I spent most of my time in when I was a crownless and membershipless young wizard.
Do you want to farm Nightshade or Kraken?
That graphic revamp really punched.
Fave Places To chill: Nightside, Commons, Ravenwood, Cyclops Lane
Krokotopia - 11/10
This world made me fall in love with Wizard101
Egyptian aesthetic o-o
I was once a balance wizard you know?
Cries over the plot in the tomb of storms
Also KROKODILES
Fave Places To chill: Krokosphinx, School Of Balance
Marleybone - 10/10
I liked the Wizard version, but the Pirate version is more my jam.
Everyone is lookin dapper.
Home of the Doc- I mean Professor!
The whole worlds feels like Cats, but with dogs and the plot is Sherlock Holmes.
Barkingham Palace Gear o-o
Fave Places To chill: The Museum.
Mooshu 7/10
Japan and China vibes
Your usual warlord chaos
Everything is BRIGHT GREEN
It felt S H O R T
Has pretty nice wand drops
Fave Places To chill: Jade Palace
Dragonspyre 12/10
This is what you get when you throw Roman aesthetic, Prussian History and a pinch of Russia into a pot.
The amount of subtle history references is making me listen to every line of dialogue I can get from this world.
D R A G O N S
Milos Bookwyrm is kinda a darlin
We kill Mali here :’)
Fave Places To chill: The Atheneum, wherever my battle drake chills
Arc 2 - Morganthe - 9/10
Has nice spots here and there.
Writing is still good, but a little less engaging.
Morganthe was so over the top “bad bitch” that it got annoying
Grandpappy spider was the saving grace of the arc
Celestia - 8/10
Solid world, story was kinda meh
ASTRAL MAGIC
Is this Skull Island??? Why are there water moles??? I thought they only exist in Skull Island????
Basically Atlantis
WAND OF STASIS
Fave Places To chill: Watermole Village
Zafaria - 8/10
Jambo Wizard!
The plot is Belloq and crazy tse-tse zebra ruining everyones day.
All they wanted was a nice zafari, all they got was misery and running into Morganthe worshippers.
Flameingo can’t take it anymore...
“Son I’m disappointed”
Fave Places To chill: Baobab Crown
Avalon - 9/10
Love it, but something is missing?
King Arthur, but you’re Arthur.
How to become a knight 101
FINALLY I CAN GET DEER KNIGHT
The source of Morganthes saltiness
Everyone is prob scared of me because I rode a battle badger during my stay...
Fave Places To chill: Caliburn
Azteca - 9.5/10
Hello and Bye...
I will never be able to do casual side questing here anymore...
The plot was nice, but you know, IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE WAS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED
Do not speedquest through this if you are a plot person, DO NOT
Cries over birb and dinosaur friends...
The music was the best part of it.
Fave Places To chill: N o w h e r e a f t e r t h a t d a r n m e t h e o r i t e, almost everywhere before that
Khrysalis - 9.8/10
L O O O O O N G
It was to be expected though
Mouse Guard vibes
The furniture sets for this suck and there is no proper furniture to obtain otherwise...
One Wizard Army (with the help of some deer friends) pls do not kill me for my bad word puns
I’d feel bad about how Morganthe ended, but after Azteca I really don’t have anything left for that whiny bitch...
A lot of people want my head...
Hello there hand- I mean hello there Spider.
Captain Colridge, if you had a pegleg I’d be 100% sure you’re ratbeard gone out of shape.
I love the dynamic changes to the Bastion once you progress
SHADOW MAGIC no one uses though because it’s not worth the pips and time
Fave Places To chill: Last Woods
Arc 3 - Spider And Raven - 6/10
Had solid concepts, kinda threw them out of the window
I do not like the writing in a majority of the arc
I think I was so disappointed, because I hyped these worlds up so much, the expectations did not meet reality
The ending was a no no
Plot was barely engaging
I only pushed through this for the concepts of Mirage and Polaris and wanted to see where Grandpappy Spider went
Polaris - 7/10
WAY TOO SHORT
You spent half of the time in the arcanum anyway
I don’t like Mellori, but that is just me
REVOLUTION TIME!
I don’t like that we had to throw a ship worth of fish into the sea, although they apparently still live? Somehow?
Everyone was at full right to overthrow the Empress though, she was horrible.
Where is Napoleguin???
RA RA RATSPUTIN, LOVER OF- wait w h a t ? ? ?
I don’t like the Arcanum, but I guess I’ll be a part of it.
Fave Places To chill: Walruskberg, Captain Colridges Tavern
Mirage - 6.5/10
The more you hype, the more you’ll be disappointed...
Again the Spider part of the plot was good, the other was e h
If I’m going to have to talk to another snobby over the top whiny cat I’m going to lose it.
Boochbeard, where is Mr. Gandry?
Bara Snakes.
Istar stop whining about bugs.
Ozzy you’re my best bud in this.
House themed GEAR, APARTMENTS and MOUNTS, but you gotta defeat a 100 enemies before that...
Love the world design though
THE MAGIC CARPET RIDE
Fave Places To chill: Caravan, anywhere you can wander through endless sand
Empyrea 4/10
This is what happens when you throw too many things together
S t a r T r e k
Medulla shut up
The idea to have an isle in the eye of a storm is cool though
Zanadu was kinda meh (prob because I remember most of it just happening in a sewer)
That dance session though, Khan rocks
The dwarfes were also kinda meh, just didn’t fit with the concepts of the previous areas
Cthulu island was also kinda meh
Ending of the first half was literally Batman and although I know “The Bat” and “The cabal” it kinda came out of nowhere...
And then I pretty much lost interest in the world
The Reverie got me again, nice and fresh mechanics.
I will make a seperate rant on the ending, but no... I don’t like it at all and I don’t see Spider forgiving Raven as a good ending
Felt really forced
Hit some bad spots with me...
I thought we could fight Raven??? >:O
Fave Places To chill: Reverie
Arc 4 - idk what is going on
Karamelle ?/10
Ja moin, guten Tag allerseits.
Haven’t gotten there yet, but man, I’m not up for dictator Nana... :T
Spells look pathetic o k
If you try denglish one more time I’m going to lose it
At this point it’s obvious that KI has a thing for german speaking countries related stuff
Sentinel Marshmallows, do I have to say more?
Other Worlds
Grizzleheim - 8/10
Vikings
Forshadowing of Raven
It’s ok
Grendleweed
Wintertusk - 8/10
Even more Vikings
Grizzleheim 2.0, but everyone is op and crits
You need the spells, but you don’t want to do it
It’s been too long since I’ve last been there
Wysteria - 9/10
The original snob
At least these weren’t a pain to listen to...
Incompetent teachers make incompetent students.
That hall of fame though.
Actually a nice world to quest through
The aesthetic is nice and they kinda got the cooler library compared to Ravenwood, unless I’m missing out on something.
Fave Places To chill: The library
Aquila - 10/10
Birbs
Was a pain in Pirate, is wonderful in Wiz
SKY IRON HASTA
Secret bosses you seldom find people to fight with
Everyone is salty that you’ve beated them and they don’t even try to hide.
Hades got the best estate.
Cerberus was cute until he became a set of floating heads.
Fave Places To chill: Tartarus
Darkmoor - 9.5/10
“Who hits?” - “Everyone” - *person who asked decides to leave the dungeon*
This happened to me 7 times in a row an U G H
People need to calm down their hitter ego
The dungeons are fun the first times, then they are just an annoyance to farm.
Plot is the Ballad Lenore
GO TO REST MALI
Hit in 5 rounds or say bye bye to your blades
No Feints
Catacombs 11/10
D r a g o n s p y r e L o r e
Valencia, what are you doin there?
Basically KI’s punch in the face of Pirate101 players
“Oh you want an update? Guess you gotta watch how we recycle Valencia in Wiz”
Dragoon gear - Just like Darkmoor, but this time your suffering has a certain end
Also no exp on your quests?
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
ASTRAL PROJECTION TECHNIQUES
hey witches! been a while! So i decided to throw this subject here, in hopes most ,or all, can benefit!! Blessed Be!
There has been a lot of confusion about Astral Projection, so I figured I’d explain what it is and how to do it. Dreaming is an unconscious astral projection. When you sleep, your conciousness leaves your body. It literally leaves our 3D physical reality. This is caused by your pineal gland (the most important part of your brain) releasing Dimethyltryptamine aka DMT. DMT is what propels your conciousness out of the body when you sleep, and when you’re about to die or have a ‘near death experience’. The thing is, you do not have control over what your consciousness does when it leaves your body while you sleep … Your subconscious controls it.
The difference between normal sleep and astral projection is, when you astral project, you are able to consciously control your conciousness, and where it goes. Astral projection is basically just Conscious Sleep. When you start to fall asleep but wake up right before it happens, you can literally feel your conciousness coming back into your body. That is why you sometimes feel like you’re falling. The ‘head exploding sensation’ (as some people describe it), is the first step to starting an astral projection. That is one of the signs you know that you’re doing it right. You feel pressure in your brain, and your body starts to tingle. Then, your whole body goes limp, and if you can control it, your conciousness will leave your body shortly after.
Let's put it this way so it’s easier to understand. If I were to astral project, and I wanted to communicate with someone that is sleeping, it would be difficult for me to do so. I could easily find that person in the ‘spirit realm’ aka 4th dimension, but I wouldn’t really be able to have a deep conversation with that person because they would appear drunk to me. That’s because they’re not really conscious. If I spoke to them, they may remember me being in their dream a little bit, but they wouldn’t remember most of it. However, if two people are astral projecting at the same time, they CAN INDEED meet up in 4D, have a conversation together and both people will remember everything that happened.
Through astral projection, you can do many things. You can speak with friends and family that are living, your spirit or animal guides, beings from other dimensions, or you can just fly around and see the world like Superman. I realize this probably sounds crazy to people who are new to this concept, but I have done it myself so I know you can do it too. Nothing has expanded my awareness and my consciousness like astral projection has. I hope you give it a try.
Before we get into techniques, you should know that there are hundreds if not thousands of different techniques to get your consciously out of the body. We are all unique. One technique that works for some people, may not work for others. I recommend you try one for a little while and move on to a different one if you don’t succeed.
1. THE ROPE TECHNIQUE
This technique has been formulated by Robert Bruce and is one of the most effective techniques around. A key ingredient to this projection technique is an invisible, imaginary ROPE hanging from your ceiling. This ROPE will be used to exert dynamic pressure at a single point on your astral body to force its separation from the physical.
Reach out with your imaginary hands and pull yourself, hand over hand, up the strong, invisible, imaginary rope hanging above you. You will feel a slight dizzy sensation inside you as you do this. This feeling of vertigo will intensify the more you pull on the rope.
Keep climbing, hand over hand, ever upwards, and you will feel the vibrations start. Your whole body will seem to be vibrating and you will feel paralyzed. Concentrate single-minded, on climbing your rope. Don’t stop.
Next, you will feel yourself coming free of your body. You will exit your body in the direction of your imaginary rope and will be hovering above your body. You’re free at last
2. SLEEP TECHNIQUE
Lie down comfortably on your back, facing the ceiling. Relax your body and clear your mind of unwanted thoughts. Relax even more.
Tell yourself that you are going to watch yourself in the act of going to sleep. You must be very clear about your intent. You’re going to let your body sleep while your mind will remain alert throughout the entire process. Tell yourself you will retain consciousness even while your body is going to be in complete “trance”.
As you relax completely, you must learn to recognize the rather strange, distinctive sensations you feel as your body moves into the sleep state. You MUST stay aware as this unfolds. At a certain point, you will feel that your body is feeling heavy and numb. You are on the right track! Pay close attention to all your bodily sensations. You may feel yourself swaying or floating. You might even find certain parts of your body tingling. There might be vibrations running from your head to toe. You might even hear a strong buzzing sensation in your ears. Whatever the sensations, do not panic as these are very good signals that you are on the verge of experiencing an OBE.
You have to then visualize that you are rising up from your bed and floating towards the ceiling. How would it feel if you could actually float? Try to make the experience as real as possible. Hold this image for as long as you can. If everything goes on well, you might suddenly find yourself outside the body, floating near the ceiling!
3. THE MONROE TECHNIQUE
Dr. Robert Monroe, one of the foremost authorities on Astral Projection devised this method. You have to first relax your body. This is a very important step.
Then try to go to sleep, but don’t fall asleep. Maintain your awareness between sleep and wakefulness. This is known as the hypnagogic state. Then deepen this hypnagogic state and start to clear your mind of unwanted thoughts. Simply look through your closed eyelids at the blackness in front of you. Then you must enter an even deeper state of relaxation. The next step is to induce vibrations throughout your body and intensify them. These vibrations have to be controlled and intensified further. This is the moment when the Astral body will separate from the Physical body. You then simply have to “roll-over” and you will find yourself out of your body.
4. THE STRETCH OUT TECHNIQUE
Lie down, shut your eyes and relax your body. Imagine your feet stretching out and becoming longer by just an inch or so. Once you have this picture in your mind, let your feet go back to normal. Do the same with his head, stretching it out an inch beyond its normal position. Then, get it back to normal. Then alternate all between head and feet, gradually increasing the distance until you can stretch out both your feet and head to about two feet or more. At this stage imagine stretching out both at once. This exercise will make you feel dizzy and often start the vibrations.
After some practice, you will experience floating sensations and you can then tell yourself to rise up towards the ceiling. You are out!
5. THE HAMMOCK TECHNIQUE
Visualize yourself lying in a bright white hammock, stationed between two palm trees on a secluded beach. Imagine the feeling of swaying in the wind, and recreate that feeling now as you visualize yourself swaying from side to side in the hammock. Repeat this visualization for as long as it takes to bring forth the vibrations, and when you feel the vibrations, just “roll-out” of your body.
Whichever technique you choose, you are unlikely to get a result on the very first night, or even on the first few nights – so take your time with them and try not to get frustrated when nothing happens at first. I promise you will soon start to see some results. If you don’t experience results with a week or two, don’t let it frustrate you. There could be mental or physical blockages preventing you from getting out of body. (Such as undealt with past trauma, an unhealthy pineal gland due to excessive sodium fluoride and bad diet, etc. It could be many different things.)
#witches#astraltravel#christian witch#christian witchcraft#male witch#astral projection#witchcraft#witchery#witchyvibes#witchblr
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jane is Lore 2020
Ok, here’s the round up of the ghost part of the situation with @keepbeachcitysafe and @keepbeachcityweird.
Theory: Ronaldo’s girlfriend Jane is the key to figuring out Rose Quartz is not gone, largely via a constellation of background clues. If that sounds ridiculous, I understand. I’m Ronaldo. Actually I’m not Ronaldo, but hopefully I’ll have a post about him too soon. I hope we can all have fun together tho
This post is very, very long and involves a lot of images. It will be confusing at first, but please entertain the thought and keep reading, and I hope it clicks into place. I may need to update it later.
Three sections for supporting evidence:
1. Restaurant Wars, Jane, KBCW/KBCS blogs’ interaction & contents
2. Astral projection/ghosts/fusions
3. Dogcopter secrets
Restaurant Wars Saga & Jane’s appearances
So Ronaldo has a blog at @keepbeachcityweird - he also published a book based on his blog called Keep Beach City Weird: You Can’t Hide the Truth!!!, which is available for purchase.
On April 23, 2014, Lion 2: The Movie airs. Jane appears for the first time working the ticket booth at the movie theater and sees Lion and the kids fight a killer robot. Dogcopter 3 is playing at the theater.
April 23, 2014, Ronaldo at Keep Beach City Weird also posts about seeing Dogcopter 3 at the movie theater, where the parking lot is a mess, presumably from Steven, Connie and Lion’s robot training fight.
He mentions “First of all, it’s a huge mistake to turn the last Dogcopter book into THREE movies.”, but that’s less relevant to this particular post. The important thing is that he, like Connie, follows Dogcopter, who’s also associated with Jane. (We’ll get to Dogcopter’s appearances in SU in the last part of this once the context is established)
Ronaldo’s posts in general document specific events and details in his home Beach City, but that’s another post entirely.
Exactly a year later, Ronaldo on April 23, 2015 posted about receiving a mysterious letter, which might be from Jane because (beneath a great deal of smudging) it appears to call Ronaldo the CUTEST GUY EVER! (This isn’t crucial or anything, just noting it as one of our first Jane points).
I GOT A LETTER TODAY!!! But for some reason it was all wet and I can’t even tell what it says. Is it a love letter? Is it a death threat? Please tell me! I need to know if I should lock my doors or open my heart!
Jane also appears in Beach City Drift. After Beach City Drift, keepbeachcitysafe posts an episode reaction blog, on July 22 2016, and takes special notice of Jane.
Hey did you guys notice that girl that keeps appear. We saw her when Steven took Connie to the movies and now she’s here. I wonder if she’s involved in something. Hmmmm. So Stevonnie raced Kevin down the hill in his Himitsu X12, that’s secret in Japanese.
(Kevin’s Himitsu X12 is his car, in the middle there. We’ll come back to this and what KBCS means in a second.)
July 25 2016, Restaurant Wars airs, the third of Jane’s four appearances in SU. In this ep, Jane comes a long way to return Ronaldo’s Koala Princess DVDs, and catches Ronaldo with Kiki and is upset.
KBCS posts another episode reaction blog, pays attention to Jane again, and says they plan to message Ronaldo.
Ronaldo says he can’t do it because of his girlfriend. Ooo, he has a girlfriend, that’s pretty cool, you just know whats gonna happen next.
Ok so, Ronaldo’s, GIRLFRIEND, (imagine me saying that in slow motion) showed up at the worst possible moment.
Everything was back to normal. Except poor Ronaldo, I should sent him a letter to cheer him up. Seen ya next week.
Almost immediately the KBCS and KBCW blogs play out a little interaction online:
Ronaldo goes through some stuff.
No post today. If anyone needs me I’ll be at Brooding Hill… where I’ll be CRYING. I usually cry at Crying Canyon, but it’s closed right because of some flash flood warnings.
Then Ronaldo posts KBCS’s letter.
Note how KBCW caps this message so the name is clearly visible? It’s referring to Ronaldo’s bio:
It’s not very cheering...but things work out shortly thereafter. Jane likes one of Ronaldo’s posts and all seems well.
I think it’s going to work out you guys. Thanks for all your support.
After this, Ronaldo doesn’t post again until Rocknaldo several months later, and one last time after publishing his book.
That’s April 18 2017. The KBCW tumblr is never updated again. KBCS’s final post is not long after, Jul 4, 2017.
Finally, Jane makes a cameo alongside Ronaldo in the very last scene of Steven Universe Future, “The Future.”
Koala Princess, Astral Projection and Psychic Ghosts
So some interesting patterns come up when you connect the two blogs, the clues associated with Jane, and some understanding of Steven’s powers. Let’s revisit Keep Beach City Weird, a Ronaldo’s primary blog, and Keep Beach City Safe, which contains mysteries too big for this simple Dogcopter/Jane-hime lore post.
Keep Beach City Weird - Ran from September 2013 to April 2017, with a lot of posts made in October 2015 and July 2016.
Keep Beach City Safe - Ran from June 2015 to July 2017, with most posts in 2016 of course.
Let’s look at a timeline of posts. I’m going to call out things that we’ll connect to the Jane lore at the end.
Keep Beach City Weird: Ronaldo’s blog
Nov 1, 2013, days before Steven Universe first airs: KBCW’s first post is all about Astral Projection.
Astral Projection! The ability to travel outside your physical body and into other planes of existence!
I began to feel lightheaded and before I knew it, I was floating above my body. Amazing! I walked out onto the boardwalk in my new ASTRAL FORM, and you know what the weird thing was? Nobody even said hello to me. I was COMPLETELY INVISIBLE! I mean, usually nobody really notices me, but this was a different kind of not being noticed. This was not being noticed on another plane of existence - so I didn’t feel bad about it.Anyway, after being ignored in the arcade and Fish Stew Pizza, I got bored and I went back to the fry shop to re-merge with my body.
Astral projection is a power Steven demonstrates a number of times, and you’ll see among these posts that certain powers of Steven involving this stuff are called out by the blog.
Connie: What? Where are you? How are you...? Steven: I’m not sure, but I think it’s a classic psychic ghost type situation. Connie: Ah, of course! So, what’s the plan?
from Reunited
Steven: Oh man. I fell asleep and had this weird dream. I opened the door and Lapis was there, and- Pearl: Well, that doesn’t make any sense. Lapis is fused with Jasper at the bottom of the ocean. Steven: You’ve never had a dream before, huh? Pearl: Uh, I don’t think so.
from Chille Tid
August 28, 2014, Joking Victim, Ronaldo posts about ghosts. And an arsonist from about 150 years ago.
September 04 2014, Steven and the Stevens, Ronaldo posts about "cross dimensional travelers”
And all the cross dimensional time travelers I know don’t want to go on the record about their experiences.
Not mentioning posts that don’t mention ghosts/astral projection/dimensions in some capacity, but in realtime Ronaldo liveblogs in response to episode events.
Ronaldo also answers some fan asks. On October 31 2014 after Keep Beach City Weird he answers this question about floaters with “BACTERIAL GHOSTS” in all caps, this one about his first encounter with the supernatural (the events shown in Horror Club, which aired February 12, 2015)
Nov 2014, Ronaldo posts twice about Watermelon Stevens and a review of the anime Soul Blaster, “Like every anime, Soul Blaster is about a high school student. Our hero is a cool dude, with even cooler hair named Kyosuke. He battles rogue spirits with the help of his Soul Blaster - which happens to be powered by the spirit of his deceased younger brother, Kettaro. “
On December 4, 2014 Ronaldo posts about Koala Princess, who will become important in this post when we get back to Dogcopter and Jane. Koala Princess is repeatedly used as a stand-in for talking about Steven’s journey. In this post Ronaldo says:
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ok, so I just finished the final episode of Koala Princess and I don’t want to get too emotional on you guys but I CAN’T STOP CRYING! Koala Princess goes on a walkabout and enters dreamtime and finally MEETS HER KOALA MOTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! SLKDJFSDJ:FS
I’ve got so many feels! These feels are the real deals! On wheels! WHAT AM I SAYING?! I’M GOING CRAZY!!!
Lion 3: Straight to Video aired on the same day as Ronaldo’s post. In this episode Steven meets Dogcopter in a dream, and then sees his mother Rose Quartz for the first time - she speaks to him via a VHS tape.
After Alone Together, Ronaldo posts about Stevonnie, who is a fusion. He also gets stuck under a fridge for a bit after Future Vision in January 2015.
And I want TO GET OUT FROM UNDER THIS FRIDGE!
He posts like five times about it in the same day because he’s freaking out.
And also I want my body to be shot into space with a print version of my blog so an alien civilization can find me reconstruct my body and worship me.
On February 19 2015 after Winter Forecast, he posts about using time travel to fix bad decisions:
Sometimes I think about all the bad decisions I’ve made and how they’ve affected my life, and I wish I could go back in time and change them. But unless I can find a way to break into the Pentagon and steal a time bike, I’m just stuck with having regrets.
After Political Power Ronaldo claims glowsticks are filled with ghost blood.
Anyway, then stuff happens.
January 4 2016, after The Answer, Ronaldo posts about seeing Dogcopter 4 and shares the poster for it.
One interesting thing about the poster is that if you invert it and mess with the contrast a bit, a strange diagram appears on the left. A true mystery.
And after months of avoiding and spoilers or teasers or trailers, I was in line for Dogcopter 4, and then some dummy walking out of the theater TOTALLY SPOILED EVERYTHING and was like, “I can’t believe that Dogcopter’s parents are actually cats.”
Coming back to Dogcopter in a minute, but these are relevant details.
Dogcopter dies defending the planet but then he comes back to life because he’s actually part cat and cats have 9 lives.
On Jan 5, Steven’s Birthday, Ronaldo posts about celebrating his birthday on a different date every year.
Every year, I celebrate my birthday on a completely different day. Why? To keep my birthdate a SECRET so that no clandestine government agencies can steal my identity!
July 2016, the saga with Jane and KBCS above happens. When he’s sad about Jane breaking up with him, the same day Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service comes out (in which Steven astral projects into Kiki’s dream), he listens to sad music.
Ugh, I wish I had some sad music to listen to at work. All I have is a playlist of video game soundtracks and some EVP recordings of ghost hauntings. I guess ghosts are sad. I’ll just listen to those.
But if you’re feeling happy, I do suggest listening to the “Go-Go Gorilla Go-Go Kart Racing” soundtrack. Some solid 16-bit J-reggae.
This post may partly be a reference to the Sadie Killer song G-G-G-Ghost, which is performed in The Big Show and wouldn’t air for a bit, but is also astral projection related.
Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me? I think I might be A g-g-g-ghost. Can't you see that I exist? And I don't need an exorcist To let me out Look at me and I'll appear Why can't you see that I'm right here? That I'm right here? Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me? I think I might be A g-g-g-ghost. I'm calling you from the other side
Once Ronaldo has gone through grief and anger, he resorts to begging her to come back. This post is from July 28, the day Alone at Sea aired in which Jasper begs Lapis to return.
Much like Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle in Season 5, Episode 13 what you saw on the Boardwalk the other day was not what it seemed. I was only pretending to date Kiki to defend my family’s honor, just as the Kanga-ronin did in Season 1, Episode 3!
Here is another Koala Princess reference. There are a couple SU references in the episode numbers in this post.
The events of Season 5, Episode 13 of KP was not what it seemed: for Steven Universe, this is Your Mother and Mine, in which Garnet tells a story told to her by Rose Quartz. It later turns out to be a false origin story to cover the truth that Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond.
Kanga-ronin pretended at something to defend family honor in Season 1, Episode 3, which in SU is Cheeseburger Backpack - where Steven buys a novelty backpack so he can carry things on missions to be useful for the gems, fails his first mission and pretends he’s fine. The events of this ep are later referenced in The Test.
Finally, Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle is a reference to Stevonnie’s vision in Jungle Moon, which is Stevonnie’s first interaction with Pink Diamond via a memory dream. In this dream, all was not as it seemed either.
Then the KBCW blog doesn’t post until Feb 2017, after Rocknaldo. A couple ghost and dream-y quotes from here:
In my searches for THE TRUTH, I’ve done a lot of listening. I’ve listened to haunted houses to hear ghosts from other dimensions. I’ve listened to radio signals from the cosmos for signs of alien life.
I’ve also learned that HUMANS NEED TO SLEEP. I didn’t sleep for 48 hours and I PASSED OUT FOR DAYS.
Ronaldo’s final post is an ad for his book, which comes out during a hiatus, and he references Koala Princess again:
I did have a little help from some fellow truth-stigators I met on a Koala Princess forum, Ben Levin and Matt Burnett, but most of the work was definitely done by ME!
Now let’s look at Keep Beach City Safe.
Keep Beach City Safe: [???]’s blog
For KBCS, I’m only going to skim to address ghost/astral projection related content that comes back to the business with Jane, Dogcopter, Koala Princess and Rose. The rest of this blog is a little too big for right now.
It’s interesting that KBCS seems to have mostly flown under the radar, but between the Jane arc and a couple other things I believe it to be legit. Suffice to say I’m treating it as real and you will see why in a minute.
For KBCS I’ll mostly mention which episode a post is associated with, but not the date like with Ronaldo’s.
KBCS’s reaction blog to Nightmare Hospital includes a couple relevant lines:
Where was the Gem M.? I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around! It was mom!
Don’t tell me It’s on the other side of the hall corner. That would mean it saw mo- Connie’s mom!
KBCS posts a blog between Too Far and The Answer, in which they review a number of events. (They post another blog about fusions in which they describe Garnet and Stevonnie’s components as well)
During the movie the TV just shut down and they were being chased around by a “ghost”. It was actually a gem stuck inside the house, making the house seem like it was possessed.
They also get pretty excited about Steven’s birthday.
Only a few more minutes until Steven’s Birthday!
Eeeeh! Only a few mins left until midnight. We finally get to learn about Garnet’s past! Are guys happy, I know I am. I can’t even express how happy I feel, but I’ll try. And I will not act crazy while doing it, Imma keep it cool. So it’s like Peace and Love had a son, and his name was Steven! Then Steven fused with Connie, who was the daughter of Happiness. And they formed Stevonnie, who was made of everything right within the universe!
On Steven’s Birthday they also post about the Dogcopter 4 movie.
I’m gonna be a Smart Spoiler and drop hints in my post for you guess. Only those who have watched it will notice the clues. Yep, watching it 9 times.
This clearly references Ronaldo’s post about Dogcopter having nine lives, but KBCS is a little more considerate about spoilers.
In KBCS’s “It Could’ve Been Great” post, they’re still talking about Steven’s birthday. There’s a promo image attached as well.
To start things off I just wanted to say: I did see Steven turn into a baby? And I would also like to say: DID YOU SEE STEVEN TURN INTO A BABY!?!?
So, by now your probably wondering what the second image is aren’t you? We clearly it’s a pic of Rose holding a cupcake candle.
We, here at Keep Beach City Safe, thought that Steven would’ve liked to have his mom at his birthday party. Happy Birthday from all of us at KBCS. Hope you like it.
Future Vision reference. (Some of this is less relevant to the Jane thing but I’m pulling quotes that are related to fusion and stuff in the hopes it gets clearer)
This reminds me of the time that Garnet gave Stevens her future vision. I don’t know what happens exactly, but I think you see what’s going to happen in the future hence the name future vision. Being able to see into the future would be awesome, yet terrified at same time.
There’s a great post about Pie Day - in fact, KBCS posts about Pie Day a few times. They call out Pearl, too, which reminds me of a certain prolific fandom video editor’s handle.
You know who else knows about Pi. Pearl, but also Peridot.
Pearl Doesn’t Like Pie. Happy Pie Day!
This is not a good photo of Pear let’s see if we can find a better one. Now that’s better.
Sorry for the tangent. Let’s talk koalas now.
KBCS posts about The New Lars. They have thoughts about Steven’s ability to hop into other bodies, namely the question of whether Rose could do this as well.
Steven is worried that Lars isn’t being truthful about his feelings. So through his dreams, Steven jumps into Lar’s body, and trys to make his life better. But he only makes things worse.
Steven somehow possessed Lars’s body through his dreams. He’s done it before and he’ll do it again, we have a word for it now: Dream Possession. But he can also enter dreams.
He did it with Lapis, the Watermelon Stevens, and now Lars. That’s one gem, one sentient plant, and one human. Well with lapis he was merely communicating with her. This, new power, is seems to activates itself whenever Steven wants to help someone, but can’t because something getting in the way. Could this be a power passed down from Rose, or is this a power he himself posses?
#koala vs sloth
in The New Lars, koalas come up twice. Koalas in SU are associated with Steven’s astral projection powers. Remember how Koala Princess met her mother in the dreamscape?
Steven: For your consideration...The koala, a marsupial from the forests of Australia, and the sloth, hailing from the forests of South America. Who should be crowned the king of the "Hanging Around Doing Nothing" mammals!?
Steven in Lars’ body: Whatcha doing? Hanging out? Buck: Yeah. Steven: That's cool. Would you say you hang out more like koalas or sloths? Uh, I'm asking for Steven.
Steven: Um... I'm really, really sorry about yesterday. I got you a card, it's got a koala and a sloth.
From The New Lars. Steven references koalas three times.
KBCS gets to Beach City Drift. They take notice of Jane and of Kevin’s car.
Hey did you guys notice that girl that keeps appear. We saw her when Steven took Connie to the movies and now she’s here. I wonder if she’s involved in something. Hmmmm.
So Stevonnie raced Kevin down the hill in his Himitsu X12, that’s secret in Japanese.
So while we’re back on the subject of Jane, here’s something interesting about Dogcopter and the Himitsu X12. They both show up in advertisements together in the background of Empire City.
Mr Greg
Same Old World
This is what KBCS is talking about - Dogcopter has a secret.
For Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service, KBCS has more to say about dreams.
She has a nightmare and Steven, coincidentally, falls asleep after eating and enters Kiki’s dream. Now Steven The Dream Warrior, must help Kiki battle her dream, and finally end this nightmare once and for all.
Steven, who for some reason keeps going into people’s dreams, goes into Kiki’s dream.
Steven fought for about week, and he’s was tired by day four. And we know from experience that a sleepless Steven, is a cranky Steven.
This is the same power Steven used in Chille Tid. and look who showed up again?
After Monster Reunion airs, KBCS posts a liveblog and includes a far-fetched accusation that Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond.
Think about it! A Diamond should have access to all gem controlled tech, right. And if Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond, which she is, then she should be able to too, right. And Steven has Rose’s gem. So now Steven can access gem tech. And one more thing to prove this theory once and for all.
But there’s one thing that doesn’t add up. Rose Quartz… is a Quartz. How could she be a Diamond?????? Maybe I’m wrong, she could have been just working along side Pink Diamond. Maybe this just a crackpot theory about the impossible. I don’t think gems can turn into different gems? who knows, I guess we’ll find out sooner or later.
When KBCS gets to Crack the Whip, they take note of Lion and tag him thrice:
Crack the Whip! Is it just me or is that foreshadowing?
Oh, did I mention that Lion was there. He was just there, when Connie opened the door, he walked up and just started hanging. It was so cool! It was like, Just Lion Things 2! So the snack break, that takes the whole day, ends at the beach, where the idea originally began.
Amethyst faces off Jasper, gem to gem, while Steven and Connie, and don’t forget Lion, fight the corrupted gem.
Lion was keeping the Gem Monster busy while all of this was happening. I was so stunned when Steven and Connie fused, without doing a fusion dance! How well they worked, together, they rode on Lion, and defeated Jasper, and poofed the Gem Monster all at the same time!!!
#just lion things 2 #lion fights #lion still fights
There’s also a weird Google Slides slideshow connected to the KBCS account, which includes this image featuring Lion, Tiny Floating Whale, (and Connie and Greg) and the word TRUE with Steven’s affirmative!
More Koala Princess
Two more Koala Princess references - although only one is immediately relevant -
In Gemcation, Ronaldo keeps texting Steven about Koala Princess. Steven’s lockscreen is a selfie with him and Lion.
Also, as a sidenote, Koala Princess is implicated in sneople trolls on anime message boards.
Dogcopter
These are just the Dogcopter appearances (Thanks to SU wiki as well as my brain) Dogcopter fights robots in at least one timeline, and the book is allegedly really long. Bold Dogcopters are the pink dogcopter, everything else is an ad or grey.
Lars and the Cool Kids - Poster
Lion 2 - The movie they all go see.
Lion 3 - Gives Steven advice.
Chille Tid - Shows Steven how to find Lapis. Meows. (Dogcopter’s parents are cats.)
Same Old World & Mr. Greg - Advertisement
Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service - flies Steven away.
In Dreams and Growing Pains (Note this is grey Dogcopter) - Flies away in Stefan’s nightmare, proposes to Drew the driver (or at least offers them something) in the Dogcopter 6 Till Death Do Us Bark I Now Pronounce You Man and Woof trailer.
Snow Day - Pupcopter, a spinoff for babies.
And for Steven’s Birthday - Connie points out a Dogcopter constellation.
Astral Projection
Another quick summary. I’ve written a lot on this psychic ghost stuff so check my blog if you want the tags, idrc. Summary of astral projection powers Steven has shown:
Leaving his body (Reunited, Escapism)
Possessing other bodies (New Lars, Escapism, SWI)
Traveling to others’ dreams (Kiki’s Pizza, Chille Tid)
Interacting with fusion components within the fusion’s mind (Chille Tid, Mindful)
Regarding KBCS’s question of whether Rose could have done this, it doesn’t seem impossible - and as of Fragments and Homeworld Bound, we know that Gems don’t die when they are killed. (Lol.) That is, the personality/soul can appear in the same gem if it’s shattered and repaired. And Steven’s mom’s gem is perfectly intact, inside him.
Literally what is the point of all this
So after KBCS and KBCW spent so long talking about astral projection, ghosts, dreams, fusions, etc etc. they never actually got to the point - just pointed us in the direction of a bunch of clues that
Rose Quartz isn’t gone.
Obviously. She’s in his gem in him, like Lapis and the mirror, or the lighthouse gem. She uses astral projection to help Steven in his dreams as well as see him in Rose’s room, like other fusions speak in the mindscape. (There’s a lot more to this but this is enough to ask anyone to wrap their head around atm)
She also interacts with him through other bodies, the same way Steven takes over Lars’ body, or the Watermelon Stevens.
Remember this?
We, here at Keep Beach City Safe, thought that Steven would’ve liked to have his mom at his birthday party.
Who came to Steven’s birthday in which Connie points out that Dogcopter constellation?
Who gave Steven advice when he wished he could talk to his mom?
Who showed Steven where to find the tape?
Who else could have asked Steven, “What do you want” in Susan Egan’s voice?
(Why did they choose to hire Susan Egan to voice a cameo in Under the Knife in the first few seconds of Fusion Cuisine, where she says “It’s my son!” while Lion is onscreen)
Or reassured him that Rose’s tape was telling him the truth?
Who first brought him to Pink Diamond’s moon base?
Who knew where Rose’s armory was and how to train with it? (Note the giant penny)
Who showed Steven the location of Pink’s fallen palanquin?
Who found Rose’s lost scabbard?
and knew where Pearl would run to when she’s upset?
Who (reluctantly) brought Steven to the landfill and Pink Diamond’s ship?
Who showed him how to find Malachite?
Twice?
Who showed him how Pink Diamond tried to stop the Earth’s colonization, and who to ask for the truth?
Who tried to entertain him on Mask Island when he was trapped on Homeworld?
And then rescued him from the open sea?
Who showed Stevonnie the password to Yellow Diamond’s moon base?
Much like Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle in Season 5, Episode 13 what you saw on the Boardwalk the other day was not what it seemed.
So yeah Rose is Lion 2020. Thanks for reading this extremely long nonsense.
Also thanks to @babybeetlebongos for both mindscape lore and fixing Ronaldo’s cheek in the banner image, lol. I made a Twitter thread about this as well (and the more in depth Lion and astral projection theory threads are quoted at the top, if you need them. the #mindscape deeplore 2020 tag/tags on this post have stuff too.)
#steven universe theory#steven universe future#su theory#steven universe#rose is lion 2020#mindscape deeplore 2020#jane lore 2020#kbcs lore#dogcopter#lion the mood#rosedemption 2020#would you believe this isn't even the deep part of the rabbit hole??? im tired tho#i hope i left enough info for others to get into KBCS if anyone cares#i love this fool rose quartz
188 notes
·
View notes
Text
Holding Hands
Synopsis: Essek tours the tower for the first time and he and Caleb have some honest talks. A little bit of angst and a little bit of fluff. Just how I like my wizards.
It had been a long day in Eiselcross. The Mighty Nein were all weary on their feet, many of them hurt from their various encounters along the way and everyone could probably use the rapport boost of a warm bed and good food. Still Caleb was leary of using the tower when Lucien had proven he could easily dispel it.
“But Caleb” Jester pleaded while grabbing onto his arm with her charming little mittens. “If Lucien’s not nearby yet then we wasted a night of good, safe rest. Wouldn’t it be better to fight him with a good night of sleep before? And besides, the tower is harder to find than the dome.” and she blinked up at him with that particular Jester pout that Caleb found particularly difficult to resist.
“Ja… we could…” He left room for Fjord or Beau to interject with a discussion of the best tactical decision, but they were surprisingly quiet. He glanced at them and saw that Beau was leaning hard against the wall, favouring the leg that hadn’t been hurt in their last run in and trying to play it off. Fjord’s face was etched with exhaustion. That settled it for Caleb. It was worth the boost in moral that an evening in the tower would provide… even if it served to be only a temporary situation. “Ja. We could” He repeated more firmly and began his preparations for the tower.
It was a challenging spell and Caleb had plenty of experience tuning out his companions when doing this work, but Beau and Caduceus couldn’t help but notice the almost imperceptible pause and tensing of Caleb’s shoulders that accompanied Jester grabbing Essek and delightedly declaring:
“Oh, Essek you are going to love the tower! And not just because it’s all wizardy and stuff but Caleb made it so nice. There are lots of cats, and everyone has a special nice room - I bet he’ll make one special for you” she pumped her eyebrows “- and the cats make like WHATEVER food you want! It’s amazing!”
Essek responded in the slightly shaken way he did whenever he encountered the full force of Jester’s jovial attentions:
“I-I-’m certain that it is. I wouldn’t expect anything less from a talented wizard.” and Essek looked hard at Caleb’s back for a moment and then looked away with a perceptible sadness in his eyes but Jester pushed on as was her way:
“Pro-tip: call all of the cats to come snuggle you. You will never. Sleep. Better.”
“I’ll have to remember that.” Essek said nodding at her and trying to extricate himself from where she had her arms wrapped around his. He floated over to the wall to drift near Beau where he expected he would be left to sit in sullen silence, which was what he wanted. He wanted to observe everything about how Caleb cast this spell. This was the kind of magic he wasn’t particularly familiar with and it was endlessly fascinating. To his surprise he was interrupted by Beau leaning close to him and whispering savagely under her breath:
“If you talk shit about Caleb’s tower, I will fucking kill you. I know you’re a supposed to be amazing and all but it’s clear your opinion matters to him, so you better play nice got it?” Essek visibly deflated in response but whispered back with a surprising intensity.
“I understand that I have not given you much to trust Beauregard, but if there is one thing you can, please trust in my respect for all of your abilities. Even if you believe me to be arrogant, foolish or any other of the myriad of likely accurate and unflattering descriptions you may have in your mind, please know that you have each earned my respect time and time again and Caleb more so than anyone. If anything, I wish to prove my capabilities as an ally to you... not judge yours.” Before Beau could respond, Caduceus (who hears just about everything) put an arm around Essek and spoke.
“That’s nice.” and looked at Essek with a natural sense of hope that Essek couldn’t tolerate so he stared hard into the ground.
“Ready” Caleb said to the group. Those who knew him well picked up on the slight nerves in his voice. It would have been easy to attribute it to the long day of difficult travel, but they were all inclined to think that it was more likely to do with the wizard floating a few feet behind the rest of the group with a curious light filling his eyes. They began to file in and Jester paused at the back of the group to whisper to Caleb conspiratorially:
“Don’t worry. He’s going to like it.” and as she stepped inside, she threw her voice out to obviously and loudly proclaim:
“Oh, Caleb it is as beautiful as always! You are so talented! So amazing! So…” as she paused to look for the next description Veth cut in:
“Truly powerful. One might say a prodigy” She said making eye contact with Essek in a less than kind way before beginning to float upwards.
“Yes!” Jester began as she too started drifting upwards “an absolute prodigy! The best ever!” she feigned swooning and Beau cut her off.
“Yeah, yeah Caleb’s great. We get it. What’s for supper?”
“Uh ja” Caleb started, and he summoned a cat nearby “please prepare a good-sized roast and several -uh- vegetable dishes for our pink friend here and also some black moss cupcakes please.”
“Thank you” Caduceus said and began drifting upwards following the rest of the group. Essek looked like he was about to say something until Fjord shouted:
“UP!” right next to him and nearly caused him to leap out of his skin though he quickly recovered his unflappable mask. Everyone drifted up whilst chatting until it was just Caleb and Essek left on the platform.
“Ah I see.” Essek said as he began drifting up off the platform. “A clever design.”
“I thought that scaling many staircases seemed less than enjoyable after a day of adventuring.” Caleb put in, clearly trying to keep the pleasure at the compliment out of his voice.
“Actually, I was rather inspired by a time we found ourselves in the astral sea briefly.”
“Indeed” Essek said having some experience with the nature of that space. “I don’t believe I have heard that story yet.” He continued.
“Probably you will, some day” Caleb said and Essek could sense that this meant the tale of that particular adventure contained sensitive information, information that Caleb did not trust Essek with and he looked at his floating feet once more, unable to make eye contact with the closest friend he had had in years who was saying in no uncertain terms that he was still not to be trusted completely.
“Ah I see… someday then”.
Caleb didn’t want to leave the mood too low for too long. Afterall, he wanted to tell Essek every detail about those halls and their experiences there, but the happy fun ball seemed like it would probably be more of a temptation than was necessarily a good idea, especially if the two of them could work on it together. So, he began floating on ahead and offered Essek his hand.
“Would you like the tour then?” Essek briefly looked up at Caleb floating above him, stretching his hand down to carry him up to his level and couldn’t help but feel the weight of the visual representation of their situation. Caleb looking down, wreathed in light from above while Essek looked up at him and reached for his hand. It was almost like an art piece and he hated to give in to the symbolism.
Still, he grabbed Caleb’s hand and thought “up” to himself until they were level. Much to his surprise Caleb kept their hands intertwined as they floated up to the first floor and it was almost enough to distract Essek from the beautiful library they found themselves in next. Almost. He was a wizard after all. He couldn’t resist the sight of any good collection of books. Essek quickly moved over to the nearest shelf and began scanning title after title and slowly came to a realization.
“You create this space anew every time, correct? It’s not permanently established?”
“Ja, I create it new every time, though I try to keep it close to the same for the most part.”
“So, all of these… these only exist here meaning that these are simply books that you have memorized?” He said with audible admiration.
“Ja. I have a good mind for storing facts.” and he watched as Essek pulled a book from the shelves and began thumbing through pages and couldn’t help but feel to a certain degree as if he was being tested. Essek saw that these books were not just visual representations or the spines of Caleb’s favourite books but complete volumes, written exactly as they were. He found himself feeling that odd mix of jealousy, admiration and something else that he hadn’t quite pinned down that often-accompanied Caleb’s displays of mental prowess. He looked back at Caleb, and though he had had trouble meeting the fellow wizard’s eyes for days - he did not want to see Caleb’s disappointment - he felt compelled to make strong eye contact now to drive home his point.
“I am considered excellent at what I do. I have a keen mind. But this… this is astounding even to me.” Caleb felt the weight of his eyes on him and felt himself flushing somewhat.
“Well… this is available to you if you wish to read, though I must let you know that many of them are in my original tongue and plenty of these are repeated. Though I have a great love of reading, I have found that I cannot fill an entire library with only my own knowledge just yet.” Essek waved his hand dismissively and Caleb saw just a small hint of the old, confident Essek peek thorough.
“I have arcane means at my disposal to translate. That is not a problem. I thank you.” He bowed his head slightly and stashed a book under his arm.
“But this is only the first floor? Though I would be happy to remain here in the library if that were your wish, I would gladly see more if you would show me?” Though he masked it well from his voice, Caleb could sense the hunger, the eagerness to see more that was familiar to him. Not for the first time, Caleb longed for simpler times in the other wizard’s tower when there was no betrayal hanging between them, simply peers enjoying the pursuit of knowledge and each other's company. Now even the memory of their victory that day felt tainted with the cost of how Essek had acquired much of his knowledge. Caleb pulled himself out of the spiral and offered:
“There is more to seen to be sure. Come. I’ll show you” and he proffered his hand once again. He knew Essek was perfectly capable of following but there was a small part of Caleb that couldn’t resist the small bit of pleasant contact between them that felt safe and distant enough, at least until he could make up his mind about what to do about Essek. Essek for his part noted the texture of Caleb’s hand, memorizing it and studying his internal reaction for future reference- when he had time to unpack all that was causing him to feel. He also noticed the scars just visible at the bottom of the arm of Caleb’s coat but chose not to interrupt this small precious moment of goodwill with a question that may bring up pain for Caleb.
And so, Caleb showed him the majority of the lower levels, going from place-to-place hand in hand, to a point where both hands were clammy and almost asleep but neither wizard was willing to give up their tenuous bond just yet. Essek thought the summoning space in the hall was “quite a brilliant solution” and Caleb informed Essek that he had had to install tiny locking doors on his cat travel system after Jester’s first polymorph escapade and thank goodness he had for Jester decided to provide Lucien with that little tidbit of advice upon first arriving. This caused Essek to actually laugh out loud which took Caleb by surprise.
“Yes, I am unsurprised by this. Jester is a talented person in her own right, but I would not describe her as pragmatic in any sense of the word.” Essek chuckled again. Caleb stopped and looked down at their joined hands a moment.
“Herr Theylyss, may I ask you something? It may be personal” Essek felt a pit of concern begin turning in his stomach but responded:
“Uh- why yes. I thought you were aware that I have made the decision to be fully -uh honest with you ever since… yes you may.” Caleb noted that Essek was fidgeting with his other hand.
“I had wondered why you seem more comfortable around Jester when it is clear that you still struggle to be at ease around … the rest of us at times? I understand that Jester is very talented at - uh-bringing out the best in people shall we say but… I had wondered…” Essek thought for a moment.
“I believe the answer is twofold. Firstly, Jester was the voice of your group to me for many months. It was through her that I was first annoyed with you all, then simply exasperated and then, I will admit, excited to hear from you. In my perspective she was the voice of my...my first friends. I believe to some degree I still expect her intrusions” He looked away at this “Secondly, I know I disappointed her as I disappointed each of you when I… when my decisions came to light but I can tell that Jester wants to forgive me and believes in the good she sees in me, just as Caduceus has hoped for me but I suppose, with the rest of you, in many ways I know that the damage is done and that the days of eating and drinking in that ridiculous hot tub are well over and I-” he paused to collect his thoughts “though I know I deserve it, it can be difficult to face that our bonds will never be what I was hoping they would be.” Essek hadn’t met Caleb’s eyes through this whole speech but a visible dark purple flush was creeping across his features.
“Ah I see.” Caleb began, “yes Jester’s capacity for seeing the positives in life is an admirable quality but” Caleb touched Essek’s chin feather light and turned his face towards him. “You do us a disservice if you think that each of us does not hold hope that you will redeem yourself or see the best in you. You would not be here if we didn’t but I have already told you… it takes time.” Both of them thought back to the moment of his discovery when Caleb managed to stop an oncoming panic attack in its tracks with a kiss on the forehead and his stalwart belief in Essek’s capacity to redeem himself. Looking into his eyes now, Essek saw something almost worse than his worst fear and the reason he been avoiding Caleb’s gaze. He had expected to see disappointment, sadness or even derision in Caleb’s eyes but instead he saw a warmth and a genuine affection that he felt undeserving of. It was never something he had seen before from anyone else; not in the eyes of his parents or siblings, the bright queen, or even his students that viewed him with adoration. Caleb had looked at him that way a few times before but Essek had not dared to hope that look remained after his deceptions were revealed. He felt a wetness swelling in his eyes, but he couldn't pull his gaze away, desperately catching every last second of affection that he could. Caleb was glad to see behind Essek’s carefully laid mask to know that he was being heard and heard truly. He ran his thumb over the soft purple skin along Essek’s jaw.
“Time.” He reiterated. Then he pulled his gaze away and broke them both out of the moment. He dropped Essek’s hand, afraid he’d clench too tightly if he didn’t, taken by a swarm of his own emotions of hurt, betrayal, and still warm caring and concern “I better leave you a little time before supper to clean up ja? Come. I will show you your room.” Essek didn’t say anything but simply nodded, hoping to clamber his mask of semi-indifference back into place.
They got to the landing with all of the doors to the individual bedrooms and both caught a glance into Yasha’s bedroom where Jester could be seen to be braiding Yasha’s hair in a particularly spectacular updo.
“Do you think Beau will like it?” Yasha wondered while looking in the mirror.
“Oh Yasha! She will love it!” Jester started a whole torrent of compliments before Caleb opened the door to the guest bedroom and both of them were distracted by the reveal.
Caleb had a tense knot in his stomach as Essek cautiously stepped, or floated rather, forward. He had hoped that this room could act as a small kind of gift, to show Essek that he still held space for him.
It was a chamber much like the rest of the bedrooms with its bathtub and fireplace, but Caleb had modified the architecture to be more reminiscent of Xhorhos, more specifically the design Caleb had seen in Essek’s tower. The furniture was inspired by that as well, though in different arrangements to accommodate the layout. Fine silver instruments laid upon the desk. Wall hangings precisely as they had appeared in Essek’s tower. There was space for mucking about and chalkboards for scribbling out theories. There was a small library space that was empty save for the books Caleb placed in every room and the large comfortable reading chair in the deep blue velvet that Caleb remembered, with the important distinction that this reading nook had two reading chairs as opposed to the one in Essek’s original study. Caleb watched as Essek floated from place to place taking in the details.
“Uh-ja” he interjected as Essek moved toward the desk. “I only included instruments I could recall from the limited view of your tower I had but if you require more, I have a study and lab that I share with Veth that you are welcome to share with us if you should have anything you wish to work on.” Essek moved over to touch one of the velvet chairs and Caleb cut in again:
“I have – that is- I know what it is like to be far from a patriot but to still miss home so I thought I could include a few familiar touches” Essek nodded silently, and Caleb worried he may have missed the mark. Essek finally spoke near the bed:
“I haven’t used a bed in many years. I typically just trance at the desk in my study.”
“I was worried you’d say that” Caleb said rushing forward in a fervor that he only acquired when he’d had a particularly exciting idea “thus I have innovated something for wizards everywhere. This will save our necks and shoulders” He tugged on a cord by the bed and revealed on the roof of the four poster was a chalkboard with a floating bit of chalk. He laid down excitedly and pointed up and continued “it works much like transit throughout the space. Simply think what you wish, and the chalk will begin to draw” and the chalk began drawing the figures related to fortunes favor from Caleb’s notes. “This way you may think and rest your body at the same time.” Essek was craning to look up at the chalk board with a small look of amusement glowing in his eyes. It truly was a good idea but far better was the excitement in his friend that accompanied it.
“Truly inspired” he affirmed and began peering around the rest of the space when his eyes landed on the stained glass above the fireplace. Essek floated over to peer at it and Caleb sat up to watch him. The stained glass depicted the Xorhaus as the nein affectionately called the home Essek’s Den had gifted them during their time in Xorhos, with the tree growing up out of it with it’s glittering branches. And in the house could be seen 8 colourful figures sitting around a hot tub. All of the mighty nein were silhouetted in their signature colours and in the very centre were two male silhouettes looking at one another. One purple and one orange. They seemed to be laughing in their pose. Below this there was a scroll that read “Welcome to the Mighty Nein!”.
Essek’s feet hit the floor with a loud thud as he stared at this stained-glass piece. Caleb had never seen Essek lose concentration in his levitating outside of a fight before and instinctually stood up. Essek looked over and then down at his feet somewhat embarrassed.
“My apologies, uh, I just didn’t expect…” and he moved to begin the spell again.
“You have nothing to prove to me Essek.” Caleb cut him off and essek let the spell die, looking back up to the stained glass.
“I had hoped to provide you a sense of home here, but I apologize if I misjudged or over stepped. I had already designed that stained glass before our discussion earlier and I see now that it may be more harmful than helpful. Tomorrow night I can-
“It is perfect.” Essek said quietly as he stepped, actually stepped, towards Caleb, looking as if he was searching for the right thing to say before landing on:
“Thank you. I am humbled by your insight and your skill.” Caleb looked uncomfortable at such high praise and stood, uncertain what to do with himself for several moments before he began moving toward the door.
“Supper in the dining room in fifteen minutes” he said, fleeing all of the feelings that Essek’s presence had caused.
Essek spent the next fifteen minutes in quiet contemplation about the feeling of one hand in another until he heard Caleb shouting as he descended from his room:
“Supper is ready. Please come down everyone.”
Essek opened his door as the other’s spilled onto the landing as well. He heard a massive noise from upstairs roughly the direction Caleb had specified for the lab and everyone paused to look up until Veth leaned out the door with ash covering her face and said:
“I’ll be down in 5 minutes!”
“Is everything alright?” Fjord asked semi-suspiciously.
“Absolutely! Everything is fine. Perfectly and absolutely fine.” smoke was billowing out of the door and dissipating. “I just need five minutes for um...lady stuff. BE RIGHT DOWN!” she shouted as she slammed the door closed again. The rest of the mighty nein seemed to shrug somewhat to Essek’s dismay:
“Should we help her?” he enquired.
“She’s more likely to bite than accept help she hasn’t asked for” Fjord chuckled. “She does this from time to time. I’m sure it’s fine. Besides, I’m starving”. Fjord wrapped an arm around Jester and hopped off the landing and said “Down!” and they began descending. Essek could hear Jester going:
“Oh Oskar! You are so strong” and the beginnings of Fjord’s protest at the jibe.
Meanwhile Beau and Yasha were squaring off and Essek wasn’t certain if they were likely to kiss or fight or both.
“You look...really good Yasha.”
“You like it? I had never tried this style in my hair before.”
“Essek, tell Caleb we’re skipping dinner.” Beau said with some fervor
“What-” Essek began before his question was answered by Beau pulling Yasha into her room and slamming the door. “Ah… I see”. A sudden thud could be heard from the otherside of the door and Essek did not wish to question what had caused it. Suddenly a large hand was patting him on the shoulder.
“You get used to it” Caduceus said.
“What is that?”
“Being a part of something.” Caduceus finished with another pat on the shoulder, then he began to descend for supper as if he hadn’t said something that hit Essek at his very core.
They had a pleasant supper all together and planned some tactics for the next day before everyone adjourned to their various places of rest for the night. Essek went over to the library and collected an armful of books. Frumkin appeared through a little gap in the wall and Essek leaned down to him.
“Do you have a message from your master?” he said hopefully. Frumkin just butted up against him looking to be pet.
“Do you require something?” Frumkin flopped at Essek’s feet. In this moment alone, he smiled a small smile for the cat that contained none of his usual bravado. He crouched down to pet Frumkin exceedingly gently. After a few moments Frumkin was purring loudly.
“I’m glad we are still good friends at least” Essek sighed. “Do you wish to enjoy some reading with me?” Frumkin gave a slight meow that seemed like a yes and Essek picked him up and placed him on his shoulder giving him a little nuzzle on the way. They began to ascend to Essek’s room and Caleb watched them go. He felt somewhat disappointed in himself for this scheme, particularly after seeing Essek’s sweet nature with his cat, but he would not be fooled twice.
Once safely in his room Caleb watched Essek through frumkin’s eyes. He watched and waited and expected some sort of betrayal though he did not hope for one. He waited until everyone else had gone to bed and Essek was the only one remaining awake. He had expected Essek may message someone, scry or even perhaps begin taking notes of the tower. In that whole time Essek had done nothing but read and cast comprehend languages. Eventually Caleb realized he wasn’t going to do anything else. He wasn’t going to betray them. He then spent the better part of an hour wrestling with himself and doing a good amount of internal reflection before coming to a decision. He went down to knock quietly on Essek’s door.
“Yes?” Essek asked, coming to the door in the least precisely put together look Caleb had ever seen from the wizard. His hair was amuck in places, his robe was gone and the shirt beneath was half untucked and he had the slight dark purple imprint on his cheek where he had been leaning his hand. It made him look more approachable than his typical visage as the “Shadowhand”. Perhaps more endearing too.Caleb also noted he wasn’t floating and wondered if that was to do with his earlier comment.
“Have you happened to have seen my cat?” Caleb enquired. Essek was not fooled by the pretense, knowing that Caleb could summon Frumkin at will, but played along.
“Ah my apologies, I have been detaining him to keep me company while I read.” At this Frumkin ran out of the door and began weaving between Caleb’s legs.
“So, this is where you were?” Caleb enquired of him in mock surprise.
“Yes, well it seemed fitting to have him around while reading my first empire fairy tales about such a one.” Essek said brandishing the book.
“You read der katzenprinz?” Caleb asked, legitimately surprised. He had assumed that Essek would have immediately gravitated towards the arcane books.
“I started with another regarding transmutation but this one seemed a bit of an odd one out in the collection so I assumed it must be of some importance to you…” Essek paused getting slightly embarrassed and then noticing how long they had been standing in the doorway.
“Would you like to come in?”
“Actually, I had a thought, if you are too tired, we don’t have to but,” he looked almost pained and rubbed his hand across his mouth and he seemed to make a decision or resolve himself “but we had not quite finished our tour I think.”
“Oh” Essek was somewhat surprised but still eager. “Yes absolutely. Lead the way.” He placed the book on a nearby table while Frumkin ran to his exit in a hole in the wall. As they began to ascend. Essek spoke up softly:
“Is there a reason that Fjord always declares his direction?”
“Other than showmanship? Absolutely not.” Caleb replied. At this Essek grinned while Caleb opened up the next level.
“I ask that you never come up here without me please Herr Theylyss. Please” he repeated while making pointed eye contact.
“Of course. Whatever it is your wish.” Essek responded genuinely but somewhat surprised as they came to a room full of doors. “What is this place?”
Caleb did not reply but instead said:
“I have only shown the others of the mighty nein this place.” and he opened the door labelled 1. Caleb closed the door behind them as Essek stepped into the humble space and began looking around.
“What is the significance of this house?” He asked before noting the far off look in Caleb’s face.
“Well, I wanted you to know why I found your choices so challenging to ignore. I wanted you to know why it is that I seem to understand so deeply the challenges you face in learning to forgive yourself for what you have done for it is still something I struggle with myself. Deeply.” Essek could sense the gravity of the space for Caleb and came closer.
“I wish you for to know, as I know your greatest transgression, but you do not know mine and it seems there is an unfair imbalance between us of late that I hope to dispel.” Essek was surprised that Caleb thought there was anything comparable to his “transgression” as he put it but thought back to some of the sadness in Caleb and some of the truth in his eyes whenever he talked about the path ahead of Essek and knew there must be something substantial coming.
“This was my home. I am sure it may be challenging for you to imagine ,coming from such a high-ranking family, but we were happy here.”
“Wealth does not inherently create happy families. In fact, I think it is likely the opposite” Essek put in softly. Caleb nodded and pointed to the small kitchen counter:
“My mother used to make bread here. She used to allow me to take small portions of the dough while she was kneading it and I would make little figures. I would -uh- use them as puppets and tell her stories of magnificent wizards who saved all of the empire from the evil creatures that threatened it. She would turn them into small buns when I was finished and told me that if I ate them, it was like making a wish, and that one day I might become that powerful wizard.” Caleb touched the surface of the table and closed his eyes for a long moment. Essek tentatively put a hand on his shoulder which remained until Caleb went over to the hearth.
“This is where I learned to love fire. My father would feed the flames and show me how to keep it well. He’d tell me that fire could hurt and burn but it could also sustain life. Once I became old enough to manage without harming myself, he let me create the fire every night to practice. Later I practiced control flames here, the first spell I ever learned from a spell book.” Caleb turned to Essek and held his gaze. Essek saw the shame and pain that was written in Caleb’s features.
“You have killed many good people in your thirst for knowledge and power. I … I am no different. I killed good, loving people who only wished that I could have been the powerful wizard who saved the empire… “Caleb swallowed and realization sunk in for Essek. “I killed my family and destroyed this home as a result of Trent Ikathon’s teaching methods. It was seen as a ‘required step in becoming the capable wizards we needed to be to protect our nation’. Still to this day he attests that it is what my family would have wanted though I don’t think our stories in the kitchen could have ever prepared them for their end.” Caleb paused attempting to collect himself. His hands were shaking a great deal, but he pushed forward “I have only just begun the journey to forgiving myself. I keep this room here, not to torture myself but to ensure that this happy home is never forgotten, never lost. Each room on this floor is a moment to be captured and preserved. I will show you another.” A few tears had fallen on Caleb’s face, but he did not seem to notice. Essek didn’t have feel he had an adequate response, but he did not want to leave this space without saying anything.
“You have performed your own dunemancy here. You fixed this in time. It is beautiful. Thank you for showing it to me.” Essek said, hoping he did not say the wrong thing. He had very limited experience with people he would consider loved ones and he had never lost one. Caleb didn’t say anything, but he nodded a thank you and pulled Essek across the hall to another room. It was Caleb’s bedroom in the xorhaus. Essek recognized it immediately by the charming cat figurines on the shelf.
“This was the space where you first entrusted me with dunamancy but I did not preserve it for this reason… I did so because it was the first time we worked together, and I realized you were very much someone I wished to know more. I saw a like mind in you...Essek, I understand exactly what the cost of knowledge and power can be and the folly of chasing them, you have seen this now, but I also understand that draw, that pull of power in a way almost no one else will. I know how easy it is to slip off the path and become a tool for destruction once more, and this is why I find it difficult to fully trust you as you have proven to me that we are too similar, and I do not trust myself even with that.” He had finally said it out loud. Essek had been hanging on the word trust ever since Caleb had said he was more trusted than Trent Ikathon, but here it was. More did not mean much at all. And how could Essek blame him when he was correct? They were very much alike, that was one of the things that had drawn Essek in and convinced Essek to teach Caleb dunamancy against his better judgement. Essek looked and stared at a cat figurine, willing his breath to slow, his eyes to focus. He did not understand what it was particularly that hurt him so much about Caleb having a perfectly, reasonably low opinion of him.
Caleb saw Essek beginning to have difficulty containing his emotions and he closed the space between them to once again place a small kiss on Essek’s forehead before placing his own against it. He put a hand around Essek’s neck gently pulling them together.
“I have said it takes time and I believe that. My path out of the pit did not move straight forward and I had many setbacks, but I have begun the journey. I did so by taking small steps -and sometimes large ones - every day to leave the world slightly better than I found it. I will never expunge my past crimes, but I can hope to maybe outweigh them in my overall impact on this world. I see you at the beginning of this journey and I know that one of the most important things in the path to redemption was having companions who walked alongside me on my way to finding it. Having the mighty nein who cared for me and loved me unconditionally, despite these terrible pieces of my past was so...essential… in my ability to begin to overcome them.” His whole body seemed to be sagging with the weight of the world and he pulled away to look in into his eyes “Essek, I know it is easy to see only our faults and everything we have done wrong, but I also know that I am still worthy of forgiveness by some, I am still worthy of friendship and chances to redeem myself and even still worthy of love. And I do not believe this myself many days but Veth and the rest of the nein refuse to allow me to forget it and on days when my belief is not enough, theirs is. And that makes me wish to strive to continue to be worthy of their belief in me. You see?”
Essek was nodding but Caleb could see he was drowning in all of his thoughts.
“Come. I have one more room to show you.” He said gently and walked out of this room. Essek blinked and felt the suddenly jarring distance between them and followed Caleb out of the room. His mind was a swarm.
Caleb placed his hands out for Essek who looked at him somewhat quizzically but took them, nonetheless. They floated up while facing one another to the final floor and Caleb revealed it to him. The floor inspired by dunamancy. Essek’s jaw dropped, and his head swivelled as he took in the room.
“It is no secret that I have a great interest in your craft, but I bring you up here not to remind you of all the power to be gained or lost but to show you of what you already have. You have unlocked so many secrets of the world, but you were never given the chance to study the most important lesson. One that also eluded me for many years. All of this “Caleb gestured out” feels so important, the stretching endless expanse of time and the motes of possibility that we can affect. But” he said firmly “It is not nearly as important as the moment we are living right now, and the people that we share that with.” Essek peeled his eyes off the expanse around them and turned his attention back to Caleb who was looking at him with an expression that he had only seen once before as they unlocked the key to the transmogrification spell. It was a mix of adrenaline, elation, apprehension and excitement. Caleb was building up to something and all Essek could do was be shocked that he was floating in this space of utter beauty and being looked at like that, as if he were the most important thing in the room, as if he was a great spell Caleb was trying to learn the inner workings of.
He began to understand the lesson Caleb was trying to impart as he could not pull his eyes away, despite being surrounded by a veritable playground for his mind, his focus was solely affixed to Caleb and what he would say next. He understood what Caleb meant to say with this room about what really mattered in a way that surprised even Essek himself. Caleb tightened his grasp on Essek’s hands and continued.
“If you will allow me to, herr Theylyss, I wish to do for you what has been done for me. I wish to be the person that reminds you that you can and will find your way back to the light. I wish to be the person who believes in you when you cannot believe in yourself, though I suspect I already have Jester’s help with that.” he quirked a small smile “ I wish to be the one who keeps you in the moment and moving forward. I wish to hold your hand” and he looked down at their joined hands “through your journey to finding yourself.” He squeezed their hands together tightly and then he looked back up with nerves clattering “Essek, you are important to me and I have felt a bond with you since the first time we studied together. That has not gone or broken the way you seem to believe. You have hurt me, yes, but I am still here to hold your hand and hoping that you will prove that my forgiveness is not for nothing. Hoping that you will find a way to be prove that all of this love that I feel for you is not unjustified... for I do not wish for it go to waste.” He searched Essek’s expression and found it unreadable.
Years of practice freezing his face in moments of panic had caused Essek to almost completely shut down while he attempted to process a response. He pulled away from Caleb slightly and sought to pull his hands into a robe he realized he wasn’t wearing. He wished he could hide how his hands were inclined to fidget.
“I uh-” He began “This is much to process.” Essek stammered out. Caleb was already feeling disappointment seep in. He knew that he had thrown a lot of uncomfortable feelings at Essek in a short amount of time, but he had hoped that there would be at least a degree of enthusiasm for his final declaration. Still, he did not want to pressure Essek.
“Of course.” Caleb said failing to hide his disappointment. “I will leave you to your thoughts Herr Theylyss” he said nodding in a formal way.
Essek was still simply busy processing the word love. He was turning it over in his mind and examining it as it was a fully novel concept to him. He tested out how it felt as a description of that odd feeling of warmth in his chest and stomach when he saw Caleb get excited, or smile, or that small tug at an invisible rope in his chest that could be felt when he saw Caleb being good at, well, almost anything. He considered if that had been why Caleb’s opinion had mattered so much more than most. And here he was, standing before Essek and telling him that he could have that love returned. That he felt that way about him. That he was somehow deserving despite all of the things that he had done.
He thought then how he had felt nothing but sympathy and sorrow for Caleb as he heard of what he had done to his parents. He did not blame him for his foolishness in trusting and believing in the things Trent Ikathon had said. Could Essek really be given the same grace?
Around the time that Caleb was just beginning to descend out of the room, Essek’s mind finally caught up with what he had said.
“No!” Essek shouted. “No. No. I did not mean it this way. I just-“ Essek took a breath and felt the mask slipping away and for once he allowed himself to be laid bare in front of someone. Caleb rose back up to his level. “I don’t know if I have ever been loved in the way that you have described. It simply took me a moment to understand. You spoke of loving parents, but I have never been more than a means to end for my family. I was a product of incredible amounts of pressure but never loving care or attention. I was to be useful. Then I became the shadowhand and I had to be distant from the rest. It was my duty to be useful to the bright queen, but it only alienated me further from my peers. It made it easy to betray them when the chance was offered because I had never been close with any of them. I regret so much of what I have done, all the pain that I have caused” Essek grabbed at his own hair and Caleb was surprised to see him allowing himself to be this expressive “but it is made far worse now knowing what friendship and love can be like. To think that I caused people to go off and fight in a war that did not matter and worse that both sides felt losses comparable to what I would feel if you were to be harmed. It feels almost unbearable to know that I could have caused that much pain” Essek began sputtering, tears streaming down his face. “And still, you stand before me and say that I am worthy of redemption and that I am worthy of love?” Essek was ranting now but it was as if so many of the feelings he had always held down couldn’t help but burst forth now that they were given a small bit of freedom. Caleb wrapped his arms around him and held him close, with one hand stroking his hair. Essek rambled on “you had it right when you said I had missed an essential lesson along the way. How could I have been so blinded by my research and studies to never see that the people they would benefit were the point, not knowledge for knowledge’s own sake? And still, you hold me as if I am something precious rather than wretched. It is a kindness greater than I deserve for truthfully, I can tell that you know the weight of what you have done, but until today, until now, I still had never comprehended the depths of the pain my actions caused… to so many.”
At this Essek dissolved into sobs and Caleb held him through them. He kept stroking Essek’s hair and gave him small soft kisses on the top of his hair and waited for the sobbing to peter out. He did everything he wished someone could have done for him when he was going through this. Eventually it seemed Essek had cried himself out. He was still shaking and there were tear lines stained into his purple skin, but he pulled himself back a little to look at Caleb. Before Essek could apologize again Caleb said again:
“It takes time.” Essek nodded sadly and put his hand out for Caleb who clasped it and kissed it his knuckles lightly. “But.” Caleb continued “that does not mean you must spend it alone. I meant what I said. If you wish to be loved and reminded of all the things you are worth and what makes the moment worth living in, I am happy to offer that to you. And perhaps together we can work to make the world a little bit better than when we found it ja? So no other young people go unloved or get led astray?”
Essek was still feeling a whole spectrum of emotions but was able to centre himself enough to unabashedly meet Caleb’s eyes and spoke.
“Yes, I think I would very much like to do that, but with one stipulation.” Caleb smiled at the return of some of Essek’s former, confident demeanor “I know you have many in your life with more experience in affection than I, but I would like to offer my love, as … untested as it imay be, in trade. Together we can hypothesize,experiment and test its bounds until you believe it is up to your standards? Do these conditions seem fair to you?” Caleb was smiling in a way that made Essek pleased, and caused him to consider being reckless once more.
“Ja I think that is accepta-” and before Caleb could finish, Essek pulled him into a kiss. He wrapped his arms around Caleb’s waist and Caleb’s hands found their way into Essek’s hair. They kissed deeply and with the release of the many conflicting emotions both of them had felt over the past weeks.
Essek found the texture of Caleb’s lips and stubble to be a bit surprising but planned on savouring every bit of the feeling. He approached this kiss almost like learning a new spell from Caleb, and followed his lead through the unfamiliar, for though Essek had kissed before, never with much feeling behind it, and this was an entirely different experience. His heart was pounding in his ears, his chest felt full of fireworks and there was something that felt hooked inside of both of them, drawing them closer. It was a startling powerful sensation.
Caleb was surprised not only by the kiss but by the intensity it quickly developed. He felt Essek’s hands pushing into his back and keeping him close, and the soft strands of essek’s hair moving beneath his fingers and the warmth of Essek’s lips and was intoxicated, drinking in every last bit of the experience that he could.
Finally, they broke apart, both flushed and breathing heavily. Essek found himself smoothing down the front of Caleb’s shirt for something to do and pulling a few pieces of cat hair off of it as he asked:
“May I ask something of your path to redemption?” He continued to try to compose his features but couldn’t resist the smile that kept making itself known on his face. It was a broader smile than Caleb had ever seen on Essek and it made his chest squeeze. He thought it would be a new mission of his to procure that smile more often.
“Yes Essek?”
“If we do not have to be alone, are we also allowed happiness? For I must admit that I think this is the happiest I have been in… sometime, perhaps ever.” Caleb thought and looked serious.
“I think so yes. I have to believe that is so.”
“In that case, I think we should kiss more often.” And at that Caleb laughed a full and genuine laugh and kissed Essek on the cheek following by cupping his face in his hands, allowing his thumb draw over the spot that was just kissed.
“Ja. That can certainly be arranged.” and he pulled Essek’s face down for another kiss on the forehead. “But for tonight I think it best if we both get some rest.” He grabbed Essek’s hand once more and descended into the tower, closing doorways behind them until they stopped at Essek’s room.
“I think I may need some time to wind down after all of that” Essek admitted.
“I think I shall be similar.” Caleb agreed.
“In that case, do you wish to read a while with me? Only I had noticed someone had placed 2 chairs in my reading nook.” Essek said with a conspiratorial smile. Caleb seemed to debate with himself a moment before coming in.
“But if I do not recover my spells, I will have to blame you Theylyss.”
“These terms are acceptable to me” Essek replied with a smile that belied his serious tone. And they each took an armchair and began reading, with their hands held between them.
Eventually Essek awoke from a trance he hadn’t even noticed he’d fallen into. His book had fallen into his lap and his hand had drifted out of Caleb’s somewhere in the night. He only required a short trance to be rested but Caleb would need more sleep and was currently snoring lightly from his armchair. Essek cautiously placed both of their books aside and used his levitation spell to float Caleb gently over to the bed. He tucked Caleb in and gave him the gentlest kiss on the forehead and then used the chalkboard above the bed to scrawl I was worried about your neck and shoulders which he felt had just the right amount of cheeky touch.
Essek pondered getting into the bed as well but felt it may be too presumptuous, so instead he sat at the desk at his study and began writing out the events of the night, hoping to capture it’s every detail. Though he had a good memory, he hoped to preserve this turning point for himself the way Caleb preserved history in his rooms upstairs. So, he wrote while Caleb slept.
When the hustle and bustle of the others moving about the tower finally awoke Caleb, he had the moment of concern that arises when waking in a different spot than where you fell asleep, until he saw the message above the bed and smiled to himself.
“The world better watch out if one kiss is all it takes to get Essek Theylyss to start writing jokes” Caleb called out to the room.
Essek came over, looking somehow more perfect than ever this morning (Caleb being unaware that Essek had fussed by the mirror for 20 minutes for the perfectly tousled look…) and handed Caleb a coffee that he had summoned via the cat system. Caleb took it gratefully as he sat up in bed and Essek came to sit next to him on the edge of the bed.
“Imagine what will happen after 2,3 or even 100 kisses?” Caleb continued his jibe. Essek simply raised an eyebrow at him:
“I suppose we will have to test it to find out.”
“I suppose we will” Caleb replied with a grin.
#critical role#cr#critrole#cr spoilers#shadowgast#essek#caleb x essek#caleb#caleb widogast#essek theyless#c2e132#critical role caleb#wizards#critical role fan fic#shadowgast fan fic#shadowgast headcanon#mighty nein#M9#shadowgast angst#shadowgast fluff#fanfic
9 notes
·
View notes