#unsurprising but reassuring to the guy in my brain who yells about how maybe it’s not that bad and we aren’t disabled

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

prescription for wheelchair achieved. tomorrow i make sure they sent it to the wheelchair vendor. i would really like to have it by my birthday (mid february) but ideally as long as i have it for spring break in march i’ll be happy

[ve1vetyoongi]

Operation: Love Letters | 06

💌 CHAPTER INDEX 💌

♡ ⇢ pairing: ot7 x reader.

♡ ⇢ chapter word count: 4k

♡ ⇢ genre: mystery, college!au, romance, fluff, eventual smut.

♡ ⇢ warnings/rating: none, PG.

♡ ⇢ summary: When every student on campus is going crazy about a survey that claims to make true love bloom, your best friend manages to convince you to join in on the fun — except you’re disappointed to find out that your results just seem to be lost causes. That is until a love letter from a mysterious secret admirer turns up and you find yourself on a mission to find the person behind the pen — but you quickly realise it’s going to be a lot harder than you initially thought when you have 7 possible bachelors to investigate, right? Operation: Love Letters a-go!

♡ ⇢ schedule: updated every day at 5pm GMT in the run up to Valentine’s Day 2020!

💌 A/N: so here it is! the finale of OLL :,( i’m immensely sad to see it come to an end but also so so proud of it! just wanna say a huge thank you to everyone who screamed with me in my inbox/replies over the mystery and everyone who theorized and discussed the clues, it made me SO FREAKING HAPPY you’ll never understand <3 i love you and i hope you guys have an amazing valentines day!! let this be my gift to you! p.s i hope the reveal is satisfying...lemme know! 

"Yoongi?" You splutter, mouth dry when you turn and find him leaning against the door frame with a confused expression. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you guys the same thing." He gestures between yourself and Jimin. "I saw you guys come in here earlier and wanted to see what was up. Now answer my question." He points to the laptop. "What is my name doing on the screen?"

"Is it true?"

"What? That my name is Min Yoongi, yeah—"

"Don't be an asshole right now, Yoongi." He jolts when you slam a hand down against the desk, swallowing hard to force the sour words to leave your lips. "Is it true that you knew we got matched in the Love Calculator?"

He sucks in a sharp breath and it's like the whole room has been drained of oxygen. "How did you find out?"

His admission makes your stomach drop and you're suddenly overcome with a sorrowful concoction of humiliation and heartbreak. "Because it was you who sent me all those letters, right? It was you all along."

"Y/N let me explain—"

"How could you?" Your voice wavers and you have to bite back the tears welling in your eyes. "Was it just some big joke to you? A prank?"

"That's not how it is." Yoongi rushes forward to reach for you, but his hands fall to his side helplessly when you step back. "It was never like that."

"What? So I'm supposed to believe that you meant what you said in these stupid letters? You're always so cold around me Yoongi, you treat me like shit at the best of times. Why should I believe you?"

"I'm sorry." Yoongi's own lip trembles now, and his eyes are wide. "I...I don't know what else to say."

"Sorry because I'm so undateable you had to lead me on so you could laugh at me while I searched for my fucking non-existent secret admirer this whole time?" He looks pained when you stare at him with cold eyes. "Not cool, Yoongi."

"Y/N wait! Let's talk about this at least—"

"Don't bother." Hot tears spill down your cheeks but you're already rushing out into the hall before anyone can see them. "We're never talking ever again."

"Tell me why I should listen to what you have to say?" Jimin says as he slides into a seat opposite Yoongi at the local coffee shop, turning his nose up at the matcha-soy-latte-no-ice he had already ordered for him. "My best friend is locked in my apartment eating ice cream and crying to re-runs of Friends after you just dropped the bomb of the century on her and you've dragged me out here to get coffee why?"

"Please." Yoongi sighs, jerking forward in his seat and spilling coffee on the table in his attempt to stop Jimin from getting up and leaving as quick as he arrived. "Just hear me out!"

"Fine." Jimin leans back into his seat with narrowed eyes, crossing his legs and gesturing for Yoongi to talk as he eyes up the latte after all. "I'm listening."

"The letters weren't a joke." Yoongi says simply. "I meant what I said."

Jimin chokes mid sip. "Come again?"

"I said, the love letters were real. I really have feelings for Y/N." He rakes a hand through his hair, cheeks burning when he sees Jimin's disbelieving eyes.

"Well damn," Jimin shakes his head woefully, finally understanding Yoongi's true predicament. "You royally fucked up, huh?"

"I know." Yoongi's shoulders drop and his head falls into his hands pitifully. "I didn't mean for things to turn out like this, Jimin. She was never meant to find out this way. Or at all, actually."

Jimin let's out a sigh, protective best friend guard softening as he leans in closer. "Why didn't you just tell her they were from you in the first place?"

Yoongi shakes his head, bottom lip tugged between his teeth, self loathing evident in his voice. "I don't know. It was dumb and I see that now and she'll probably never want to speak to me again so that's it I guess."

"Hey." Jimin extends a hand to pat Yoongi's arm reassuringly. "There's still time to make things right. You both did things you didn't mean. You just have to clear up the misunderstanding."

Yoongi looks up hopefully. "You really think she'll hear me out?"

"Absolutely." Jimin smiles. "Besides, I've always thought you two would be a good match. A girl needs a man who can tolerate her best friend, too."

"Who says I tolerate you?" Yoongi grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest and averting his eyes.

"Me, because I'm about to save your ass." He grabs his phone from his back pocket and dials up your number, lifting the device to his ear as he points to the exit. "Now go! You have a relationship to save!"

"Yoongi?"

There's no answer from your roommate when you throw off your shoes and rush up the stairs of your apartment without even bothering to shut the door behind you, out of breath and desperate to confront him before you go crazy with the concoction of shock and realisation buzzing through your veins, as the puzzle pieces of Operation Love Letters finally fit together and you let the truth sink in.

Min Yoongi is your secret admirer. And deep down, you think a part of you knew it all along.

Jimin had called you from the car after his talk with Yoongi to fill you in, practically yelling at you to go make things right immediately, so that's how you find yourself searching your apartment high and low for Min Yoongi.

You've lived together for so long that you're used to hearing the sound of him throwing beats around on his computer in the lounge or cooking up a storm in the kitchen when you get home, but the couch is absent of his usual pyjama clad presence and the abnormal silence that shrouds your shared apartment makes your chest tighten with nerves.

Maybe he was just asleep? Nothing would surprise you. The guy needed at least 13 hours to function, so you check his room first.

"Are you in here?" You knock his door three times, but end up barging inside of your own accord when you hear no groan of protest from the other side. Much to your disappointment, Yoongi's bedspread is neatly made, with no human-shaped lump starfished in the centre like usual. His laptop is switched off on his desk, music equipment abandoned beside it and defeat feels like a blow to the stomach when you finally accept that Yoongi is no where to be found.

You perch on the end of his bed and let your eyes drift around the room, from the pile of laundry in the corner to the Polaroid pictures of the two of you pinned to his wall. Could Yoongi really have been your secret admirer this whole time?

Now that you think about it, Yoongi has always been there. Whether it was comforting you after Hoseok blew you off, taking care of you at Seokjin's party or saving you from Taehyung's clumsy ass at the kissing booth, Yoongi was always the one person who stuck by your side no matter what.

You think of all the times Yoongi was there to hold your hair back when you drank yourself sick or how he picked up Chinese food on his way home when he heard you had a bad day or how he never complained when he had to take cold showers because you used up all the hot water.

Yoongi always loved you, in his own way; through quiet late night words of reassurance and small actions of kindness that you ignorantly put down to obligation, rather than a spark that ran deeper for Yoongi than you ever realised before. Whenever you needed him he was there, despite the half assed protests and the grumpy facade he pretends to uphold.

Even while you were too busy pursuing a stupid fairytale to see that the person who cared for you most was right in front of you, Yoongi loved you. And It didn't matter how many clues you followed. You were just too blind to see the truth all along.

Guilt suddenly wracks your conscience. The Yoongi who wrote those letters was so gentle, so sincere in his confession. You can't imagine how much it must have hurt him to watch you write him off so easily, see you run around searching for the author when he was in plain sight the whole time.

God, how could you have been so dumb?

You get up from the bed, ready to head out, but something catches your eye on his nightstand. It's another enveloped letter and you're unsurprised to see your name on the front in Yoongi's stupid pink pen when you take a deep breath and break the seal with your thumb.

A tear slides down your cheek as you re-read the same three words Yoongi wrote in his messy scrawl over and over again. I love you.

Could it be true? That all this time you've been blind to what was right in front of you?

You know where to find me...

You wipe your cheeks with the back of your hand and wrack your brains for an answer. What could he mean by that? Where was he waiting for you?

Squeezing your eyes shut in thought, you flop onto the bed, only to hear a quiet crunch where your butt collides with the mattress. A memory flashes across your mind and with shaky hands you retrieve the screwed up sticky note from your back pocket that your secret admirer — Yoongi — pressed into your hand at the kissing booth.

You check your watch. 11:55. If you left now, you could just make it in time to stop Yoongi from giving up on you. To open your eyes and see the real him for the first time.

But not before you flip the page and rip the cap off a pen with your teeth, letting your heart pour out through your fingertips in a string of words that were ready to be written now you finally knew who your heart had been addressed to all along.

Without a second thought, you grab your keys and head towards the roof with a belly full of butterflies to see the one person you should have suspected all along.

Min Yoongi.

12:17

"Shit, shit, shit!" You breathe as you grip the stitch in your side and bound up another flight of stairs towards the rooftop garden.

As if in slow motion, you crash through the door and squint through the orange glow of the setting sun for the familiar face you hadn't realised just how much you cherished until you were faced with losing it forever.

Your hands grip the metal balcony rail, glancing around at the hanging baskets of fragrant wild flowers that sway in the afternoon breeze and the sun's golden reflection in the water fountains where tiny birds splash their wings. The garden is like a fairytale, an almost enchanted escape from the bustling city below.

But there's no sign of your prince. No sign of Yoongi to be found. Are you too late?

You're about to give up when a wind chime rings out nearby, and you follow its song beneath an arch obscured by leafy rose plants and sweet smelling jasmine to a hidden wooden swing that rocks gently back and forth to a stand still, occupied only moments ago by the boy who rakes a hand through his blonde hair with a sigh and heads towards the steps with a pained expression of defeat.

Yoongi. Your Yoongi.

"I came!" You call out breathlessly, hair whipping around your face in the wind. "Please don't go. I'm here."

Yoongi freezes when he hears your voice, head slowly turning until his eyes land on where you stand watching him. There's a bouquet of vibrant sunflowers in his hands, his knuckles white he clutches them so hard, a sigh of simultaneous relief and elation leaving him when he realises he isn't seeing things. You're really here. All for him this time.

"I waited for ages." He swallows hard, voice a tender whisper. "I thought you weren't coming."

Hesitantly, you take a few steps towards him. He seems so fragile now as he looks at you with wide eyes, no trace of the tough guy you were used in their stare. "I'm late because I'm an asshole. And I don't just mean late to meet you here, I mean late to seeing that...it was you all along. You were my secret admirer."

"Don't be an idiot." Yoongi laughs pitifully and shakes his head, scuffing his shoe against the tarmac. "I'm the asshole. It's just like you said. I couldn't confess to you in person so I hid behind letters like a coward."

You reach out to gently take his face in your hands, a small smile tugging at your lips. "It's okay, Yoongi. We both messed up, but we're here now. We're both here. And that's all that matters."

Yoongi's eyes light up with a mixture of relief and elation, glinting in the soft amber light. "Really?"

"Really." You nod, and Yoongi pulls you tight to his chest, your cheek right above where his heart beats uncontrollably just like yours, chin pressed to the top of your head like he never wants to let you go. His embrace feels comforting, like home, and in that moment you realise just how right it feels.

"There were just all these things I wanted to say and I...I couldn't." He whispers into your hair. "I'm so sorry I couldn't."

"Like what?" Your arms curl around his waist and you feel him smile. "Tell me now."

Yoongi pulls back to search your eyes for any sign of hesitation, then wets his lips before words spill out of him on the wave of a harmonious laugh of relief, like he can't hold them inside any longer.

"I wanted to tell you how much I love it when you steal my hoodies from the laundry basket. And when I come downstairs to find you dancing around the kitchen and microwaving spaghetti at 3am. Or when you make me soup when I'm sick or how you drag me along to all your dumb operation thingy-ma-bobby missions — what was it, again?"

"Love letters," You giggle, dizzy on the emotion swelling in your chest at his sincerity. "Operation love letters."

"Know what? It doesn't matter because I even love when you correct me about every damn thing." He rolls his eyes but you can tell there's no malice behind it as he shares your elated laughter now, smile growing bigger and bigger as he finally releases the feelings he's been bottling up for so long. "I love how you cry when you laugh and how you always forget to water the house plants and how your hair sticks up in the morning and how you never ever give up on anything. How you never gave up on me." Yoongi pauses, reaches for your hand and links your fingers together. He uses his knuckle to wipe away the stray tear that has slid down your cheek. "But most of all? I love you, Y/N. And I know it's taken me a long time to say it but...I mean it. I love you."

There's a moment of brief silence, just Yoongi taking heaving breaths and your heart thumping in your ears as you let his words sink in.

Yoongi is your secret admirer. Yoongi your annoyingly-smart-effortlessly-handsome-grumpy-but-thoughtful roommate. Yoongi loves you.

"I...I don't know what to say." You manage to stammer. "I had no idea. This whole time it was really you?"

The hopeful look on Yoongi's face disappears in a flash, his posture wilting. He takes a step back, head bowed, cheeks burning even as he tries to keep his cool. "Are you disappointed?"

"What? No—"

"You don't have to say anything I...I don't expect you to feel the same way, I know I'm not like those other guys it's just — God," Yoongi's voice cracks and he looks down, hands wringing around the bouquet. "I know you'll never love me back but...if you knew how hard it's been not being able to say I love you out loud like that until now..."

He staggers back, flustered and nervous. You take a step forward and grab his hand before he can get away. You feel how the callouses on his hand fit perfectly with your own when you squeeze it lightly, reaching up to brush the hair out of his eyes with a smile. "Then tell me. I want to hear about it all."

"Really?" His own eyes get glassy when you nod harder than you ever have in your life and although he tugs his bottom lip between his teeth to stop the tears spilling over, you can still see the traces of a smile in his eyes. "Where do you want me to start?"

You throw your arms around his neck, smushing your chin into the place between his shoulder with a contented sigh. You can't help it. You're overwhelmed with a funny fuzzy feeling and all you want to do is hold him close. It just feels right.

Yoongi must feel the same because his arms curl around your waist like they've done it a hundred times before, lifting your feet off the ground to spin you around elatedly.

"From the beginning," You whisper, dizzy with a promising bliss. "Tell me everything."

"So," Yoongi starts. You're both curled up on the swing beneath his jacket, him at one end and you at the other, alternating between gazing out over the view of the city which is bathed in the rose tinted glow of sunset and the permanent flush atop of Yoongi's cheeks that burns just as bright. "You're not mad at me any more for not telling you?"

You avert your gaze, embarrassed at your earlier leap to conclusions. "No. And I never should have doubted you, when you said that you meant what you said in the letters. I see that now." Yoongi's hand is still tenderly linked with yours and he runs his thumb over your knuckles reassuringly, telling you to go on. "I just couldn't understand why me. I still don't. You usually act so grouchy around me that I thought the letters were too good to be true."

Yoongi looks away wistfully before he sits up seriously, tugging your hands into his lap. He swallows hard, like he's had this speech prepared for a long time. "Listen, I know that I've been kind of weird around you in the past. But the truth is, I've liked you ever since I found out we were going to be roommates." There's a sincerity in his eyes that makes your heart skip a beat, and you nod breathlessly at his confession, filled with emotion all over again at hearing the words leave his lips instead of reading them on paper. "But the feelings were so strong — stronger than I've ever felt for anyone — and I guess I just got...scared. So I thought it would be easier if I acted cold around you so you'd leave like everyone else, but you never did. And I couldn't make myself ask you to go, so I just bottled up my feelings instead."

You tilt your head, gently nudging him. "Until?"

"Until I did that stupid Love Calculator thing. Honestly I only filled out the survey because I thought it might help me get over you." He shrugs. "But then I got your name. 100% compatible. And it just felt like some big joke from the universe telling me that no matter how hard I tried, I'd never have a chance with you and all the feelings I repressed came rushing back and I kinda spiraled I guess."

"So why didn't you just tell me?"

"Taehyung convinced me it was better to write you a letter. Ya know, to get out all my feelings so I could let them go for good. I was never going to send it to you." He suddenly exclaims. "But Taehyung must have found it in one of his notebooks and I guess he thought he was being a good friend by sending it to you...but then you started looking for the secret admirer behind it and I just panicked! I didn't know how to tell you it was from me, or how you'd react, so it was easier to just go along with your plan."

You run your fingers over a flower petal from the pretty bouquet that sits in your lap. "What made you change your mind?" You ask. "You could have gotten away with it. I never would have suspected it was from you."

Yoongi sucks in a deep breath. "That day at the kissing booth. I guess someone told Seokjin the truth and he rigged the raffle so I would win the grand prize and...I couldn't resist. I kissed you. And kissing someone has never felt like that before. Not like you. And I just knew...I knew I wasn't over you. And I owed it to myself to tell you. So that's why I slipped you the note to meet me here. That's why I decided to reveal my identity."

"Speaking of secret admirers," You fumble around in your jacket pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper that you jerk towards him. "There's one thing I need to ask you, actually."

"What is it?" There's a curious glint in his eyes as he unfolds the note and reads the message inside while you hug your torso and anxiously swing your feet back and forth.

You feel his eyes on you again before he says anything else. There's a small smile on his face when he finishes reading and you can't help the way your own lips curve upwards. "I know it's a few years late, but better late than never right?"

Yoongi lets out a deep chuckle, eyes soft and crinkled at the edges like he's looking at the whole world when they take in the light blush caressing your cheeks. "I think you know what my answer is."

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in cheekily so that the tips of your noses brush lightly. "I want to hear you say it anyway."

"Of course I'll be your Valentine Y/N." The brightest smile you've ever seen appears on his face and he links your fingers together before connecting your lips in a tender kiss that makes your heart soar. "I wouldn't have it any other way."