#unsure...anxious...worried she’s being a burden and that the person she misses doesnt want to hear from her the way she does | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

no-brand-gays · 5 years ago

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sooooooo it’s midnight and i feel comfy enough to say that ps no mukougawa has been one of my favorite songs since it came out and i always loved the lyrics for how beneath the cheery surface is some really genuine loneliness and beneath THAT is more cheer and hope and optimism. like, i saw all that. and today when i woke up it was stuck in my head so i went to listen to it and those lyrics hit me harder than they had before because now i have such a one-for-one parallel in my life to relate them to

#i dont think it would hurt as much if she stayed in contact more #but for a really strange set of circumstances i havent seen one of my friends since august and wont see her again til june #and we were supposed to be roommates too so it makes me feel cheated #like our time together was already so clearly defined as 4 years and im missing out on 1/4 of that #but then i get thinking abt how we were really only friends from january to april and i only saw her a handful of times that summer #so theres that like in the bridge like ‘tanoshikatta kisetsu’ and it makes me think wow we really had 1 season together #and then the big SETSUNAINDA!! right after it im like!! i know!! i know!!!#the thing that got me the most was the very last line though #the way it follows up this big happy ending w a return to the uncertainty of the very first verse #i think in any other context i’d read that as ‘theyre repeating it bc something has changed’#‘the narrator isnt really unsure if it’d be okay to send a postcard she’s kinda smiling to herself as she sends it’#but because i know how it feels to want so badly to hear from someone and feel like your texts to them are just piling up it just feels sad #like we just had this big triumphant final chorus and this declaration that everything the narrator learned in the song will keep her happy #but it’s all for nothing because the second she decides she wants to send a postcard she’s right back where she started #unsure...anxious...worried she’s being a burden and that the person she misses doesnt want to hear from her the way she does #im letting myself get angsty w it bc im talking about song lyrics #in reality i know my situation isnt so bad #when we sent her a package last semester she sent us a picture and thanked us #i just...idk...i wish it was more present than just that. i dont know what it’s gonna look like when she comes home #oh well. gotta hope for the best i guess #personal

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