#unsure if I'll continue this universe but I had to get this out of my head

[edupunkn00b]

When Passion and Heart Meet

A pre-canon one-shot (?) inspired by A Solution to Repression on AO3.

WC: 1729 - Rated: T - There's a whole lotta repression going on -

“We’re in love, we’re in love, we’re in love, we’re in love!” Princey’s voice rang out as he spun into the room. Cheeks rosy and arms waving wildly, he turned and smiled at the other Sides. “Am I right or am I right? She was wonderful! Stupendous! Incredible!”

“She wass indeed,” Self-Preservation nodded slowly, watching from the corner of the room.

Anxiety had already found a perch on top of the refrigerator and the Heart moved to the kitchen, passing up two chocolate chip cookies to him with a little smile.

“Mm-hm,” he hummed. Taking down a mixing bowl for a batch of oatmeal raisin. “Gloria was super nice and…”

“She is quite intelligent, as well. And her major is remarkably compatible with ours. We are certain to have additional classes with her in the future,” Logic sat down on the couch, sipping what the Heart hoped was decaffeinated coffee. His eyes flicked over to Self-Preservation as he spoke, who nodded again.

Peeking out from beneath heavy bangs and his grey hood drawn low, Anxiety’s eyes watched them all.

“Sharing classes in the future? We’re destined to share far more than simple classes!” Princey cried, turning a pirouette, both hands pressed over his heart. “We shan’t let a treasure like her slip from our fingers! She’s smart and lovely and funny and—”

“Oh!” Heart laughed from the kitchen. “And do you remember how the waiter kept making puns about the specials? He was a hoot!”

Self-Protection slid a little closer to the kitchen, eyes intent.

Logic chuckled, a soft smile spreading across his face. “And those Doctor Who references? He didn’t miss a beat.”

“And he was so sweet, too. Remember when the little kid at the table next to ours dropped his sippy cup? He grabbed it before it hit the floor!”

Passion appeared, sprawled along the back of the couch. “But not before we got an eyeful of that sweet ass!”

“Aw, man! Gross!” Anxiety growled from the top of the fridge. “Don’t say stuff like that.”

“Anyway, back to our date!” The Prince huffed, scowl at his brother quickly morphing into a broad grin. “We should get married!”

“What!?” Logic and the Heart cried in unison. 

“The fuck are you—” Passion fell off the back of the couch and scrambled to his feet, making a bee-line toward the Prince. A yellow-gloved hand snaked out and wrapped around his wrist, holding him in place.

“Tell uss more, Princey,” Self-Preservation purred while watching Anxiety draw his hood further down over his face.

“She’s wonderful! And if we get married then we’ll qualified for joint housing on campus and we can start our life together even before we graduate!” He raised one arm in a regal gesture. “A true fairy tale ending.”

“Perhapss we sstart a little… ssmaller?”

“Oh! I could write her a sonnet! I could dedicate an epic poem to her beauty! The smoothness of her skin! The lustre of her hair!” He grew thoughtful, stroking his own locks. “I wonder what kind of shampoo she uses. Do you think it would give ours the same shine?”

“Back to the ssonnet?” Self-Preservation prompted.

“Yes! Yes, a sonnet dedicated to her. Glorious Gloria.” He summoned an ornate feather quill and a scroll. The heavy parchment rolled off the coffee table and onto the floor where Passion sniffed at the end before gnawing on it. “Ugh, this is no good. I need my desk. Ta-ta, everyone! I must write!”

Self-Preservation’s smile had softened as he watched the Prince drop into creative mode and he nodded. “I’ll come up and help you if you wish. After I check on… you know.”

As if on cue, the dark orange door upstairs rattled in its frame. Self-Preservation’s hand lingered on the Prince’s shoulder and he smiled. “I’ll come find you as soon as I’m done.”

The Prince nodded as he walked and wrote, the scroll trailing behind him. “Uh-huh, see you,” he murmured. He didn’t notice the brief quiver in Self-Preservation’s jaw as he watched him retreat to his room.

But Heart did.

“Now,” he clapped his hands lightly, looking over the remaining sides. The Duke had moved to the counter, laying on his belly, feet kicking in the air as he encouraged the Heart to add more salt to the cookies.

Logic was watching both of them, an opened but unread book in his lap. “Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving?” Self-Preservation asked, head tilted as he read the title page.

“Oh, well, yes,” Logic frowned down at the book, smoothing down the page. “It thought it might be useful to broaden our knowledge of… love if we are intending to pursue a—”

“If?” Self-Preservation asked, watching Anxiety cautiously climb down from the top of the refrigerator.

“Since we are intending to pursue a relationship for which we have no natural desi—” He swallowed, watching Self-Preservation’s fingers flex. “Experience,” he finished.

Self-Preservation held his gaze for a long time before finally nodding and leaving him to his book. “Thank you for your diligence, Logic.”

He frowned, then hid his face behind the book. “Thank you for yours, Self-Preservation.”

Heart turned back to his cookbook as Self-Preservation entered the kitchen, pretending he hadn’t been watching their conversation.

“How are the cookies coming along, Heart?”

A sunny smile spread across his face as he offered Self-Preservation a lemon gingersnap. “Why don’t you tell me, Kiddo? I made this batch especially for you.”

“Why, thank you,” he murmured and took a small bite. The cookie was crunchy and bright, lightly sweet with the tang of lemon and rosehips. He inhaled deeply, savoring the warm aroma. It reminded him of picnics and summer and Princey’s condit—

“They’re delectable,” he said, quickly finishing the cookie in two more bites.

Heart’s grin shrunk but never completely left his face. “I’m glad you like them.”

A dull thud from upstairs shook the ceiling and all eyes rose. “I should go check on him,” Self-Preservation murmured. “You four should consider going to bed soon, as well,” he said, giving each a careful look.

“Oh,” Heart dusted his hands on his apron and grinned and the others. “I was thinking maybe after this batch of cookies, we could play a quick card game or something? You know… to work out our zoomies?”

Self-Preservation inclined his head and made his way upstairs. They listened as he knocked on the door upstairs before letting himself in.

Hands buried in his hoodie pockets, Anxiety hopped down from the fridge. “I… I think I just wanna go to my room and…”

“Anxiety?” Logic closed his book and hugged it to his chest. “Would it be helpful for us to go over one of your sleep meditations tonight?” When Anxiety hesitated, shuffling his feet, Logic stood and offered a small smile. “I believe I would benefit, as well.”

“Yeah, L,” he nodded. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

Almost mirroring Self-Preservation’s pose, Logic bowed his head to both Passion and Heart. “I bid you both goodnight, then. See you in the morning?”

Heart nodded, smile bright. “You’ll have a fresh batch of oatmeal raisin cookies waiting for you, Logic! Goodnight!”

“See ya in the morning, Teach!” Passion winked at him. “Don’t let the bedbugs bite! Y’know…” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Unless you’re into that kinda thing.”

“Gross,” Anxiety shuddered and gave Heart a little two finger salute before slinking upstairs.

“So,” Passion said, leaping off the counter and landing directly next to the last remaining Side. Heart let out a little giggle and bumped his shoulder. “Can I help?”

“Sure,” he nodded and passed Passion a clean apron. “You should put this on, this can get kinda mes—”

Their hands brushed against each other, igniting a little spark of static electricity and they both laughed. “You got me!”

“Have you ever seen that in the dark?”

“Mm-hm, like when Thomas is unloading laundry with the hall light off?”

“Yeah…” Passion nodded. “Watch this!” He rubbed his hands together over the apron and jerked his chin to the wall. “Hit the lights!”

Laughing, Heart turned off the kitchen light and darkness fell around them. “Oh!” 

A riot of tiny sparks danced between Passion’s hands and Heart moved closer. “Does it hurt?”

“Nah, wanna feel?” he asked.

“Sure,” the Heart replied, stepping closer, both hands outstretched. When they got close enough he could feel the heat of Passion’s palms, a bright spark shot out between them. He yelped, then giggled. “That’s so cool. How’d you figure that out?”

Passion shrugged, voice quiet in the near darkness. “Just fuckin’ around.” They moved closer until, finally, the sparks stopped and their hands were just barely touching.  

“Language,” the Heart whispered, tapping Passion’s fingers.

“Sorry, Papa Bear,” he whispered back, grinning in the dark as he laced their fingers together. His teeth practically glowed.

Heart stared back at him. The static was gone and he felt nothing but Passion’s hot hand wrapped around his. “Are we…” he started, glancing up at the dark stairwell. The hall upstairs was quiet. Self-Preservation could come down any minute, but maybe he was busy. He swallowed again and stepped a little closer to Passion. “Are we allowed to do that?” he finally managed, giving his hand a little squeeze.

It felt… nice. It felt right. But a little twitch in behind his ribs told him Self-Preservation wouldn’t like it.

“Why not? Do you wanna hold my hand?” Passion asked. “I mean…” he stepped closer and let his other hand rest at the small of Heart’s back. “I mean I know you do.” He dipped his head and murmured near Heart’s ear. “Kinda like how you know I do.”

“I don’t know what you want,” Heart retorted, quietly. “I just know what you feel.”

He smiled and the soft mustache he’d begun to grow tickled Heart’s ear. “Not much of a difference right now, is there?”

Warmth flooded Heart’s chest, the mix of his own feelings and of Passion’s colliding together in a swirl that pulled him closer until his own lips brushed Passion’s cheek. “Is that okay?” he whispered when Passion pulled back. His eyes were just visible in the light of the stovetop clock.

A wild grin split his face as he nodded. “Only if I get to kiss you, too.”

“Plea—” the Heart drew close and let the crush of their lips finish his words.

[redroomreflections]

How Not To Become A Tiktok Star

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Reader has a tiktok account and she decides to do the "I think you're bad in bed" prank on Natasha.

note: I really don't know what this is. I saw it on tiktok and decided to write it. if i cringed you also have to experience it.

this can be any universe really.

w/c: 1k

You and Natasha are about to head out for a drive, and you had a fun idea to capture a bit of the day for your TikTok account. You'd set up the camera before she slid into the driver's seat. You placed the phone on the dashboard, using a small, inconspicuous car mount that you’ve cleverly tucked away. The mount is just the right height to capture both of you without being too obvious. You adjust the angle, making sure the camera is aimed perfectly to catch the both of you.

"Are you recording us?"

You nod silently. "Just for memories." You inform her. You sit back into the passenger's seat and watch the scenery go by.

"So…I was thinking of going to Target later and getting us a few things for the house," Natasha tried. "I think I can get in and out without being recognized."

"Sounds good." You nodded. "If we need more detergent, I'll add that to the list."

"Ok, and maybe some new sheets. Those are getting pretty old."

"They are pretty old, aren't they?" You continue. The car ride is silent for the next few minutes and you glance at the camera to make sure it's still recording.

"You're awfully quiet today," Natasha mentions. She's so used to you talking up a storm whenever you get the chance.

"I'm just tired." You shrug. "It's been a long week."

"I feel that." Natasha nods. "Anything on your mind?"

You pause dramatically, picking at your nails before you look at her. "I need to tell you something and I kind of don't know how to say it." Your heart beats in your chest. How could you explain this? It's a prank so of course she will be clueless but you are unsure of how to go about it.

"You can tell me anything," Natasha said.

"Ok, so the truth is," You begin. "Lately, I've been feeling like you've gotten a little lazier in bed." You say.

Natasha looks over at you with a blank expression. "What?"

"Like you've been kind of boring in the bedroom." You repeat.

Natasha shakes her head in confusion. "What do you mean by that? Boring?"

"Well, last night, for example. It was your turn to go down on me and it wasn't really your best work."

"Really?" Natasha asks, surprised. "You didn't seem to have a problem."

"I was too embarrassed to tell you."

Natasha's face falls. "Wow. I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's been like that for a while and I didn't want to hurt your feelings," You reach across the console to grab her free hand. "I just want us to have fun together."

"That's what I want too." Natasha agreed.

"We used to have fun."

"Yeah." Natasha agrees.

"So much fun." You nod. "I just think maybe you can practice a bit more? Try some new techniques or something."

"Oh...well," Natasha's face turns a bit pink and she glances between the road and you. "New techniques? Where do you suggest i practice this?"

"I don't know." You shrug, keeping the smirk off your face. "Maybe start with me?"

Natasha stares straight ahead. "Oh, well, I can try. But I'm not really sure where to start. Can you give me a specific?"

"Hmm, yeah. I'll just go into more detail." You decide.

"Go ahead."

"I guess when you have sex with a woman, you just have to remember the pearl is the center of the universe," You censor yourself for Tiktok of course. "I don't know if you've forgotten where it is or..."

"No, no," Natasha shook her head. "I'm very familiar with where it is. Yours especially."

"Ok, because I'm not sure if you're aware, but when you go down on me, you don't pay enough attention to it," You tell her. "It's almost like you don't like the taste."

Natasha makes a face. "What? That's ridiculous. I love your taste."

"But you're not doing enough."

"Ok."

"You need to be better. Not even just licking around my pearl, but actually sucking it. Really, just doing all that. All the things that are important."

"You know, I'm very confused about where this is coming from," Natasha turned on her indicator to turn into the parking lot. "Like I said last night you were very happy with my performance. Unless you were faking it."

"Of course, I wasn't faking it," You shake your head. "I've been wanting to tell you for a while but I didn't know how. But it's not only that, there are other things too."

"What other things?" Natasha asked.

"I feel like you're not very experimental. Like, I want to have sex in more than just the bed." You say.

Natasha nods. "I guess Tony's lab wasn't experimental enough."

"Babe," You gasp. You turn to the camera and sigh. "I'm going to have to edit that out."

Natasha parks the car. "Why are you saying all this? Is something going on? Are you recording still?"

"Yes, I'm still recording," You admit. "This is for my Tiktok. It's a joke."

"A joke? I knew it had to be," Natasha shakes her head. "Are you going to upload that?"

"Probably."

"Oh, wow." Natasha finally gets a good look at you. "I know this wasn't one hundred percent the truth. You're always so exhausted after we finish. Also, the things you say there's no way you're not getting what you want."

"What does that mean?" You play dumb.

"Oh, baby, fuck me," Natasha pitches her voice higher. "Don't stop. Don't stop." She fake moans and pretends to be you in the moments of passion and pleasure.

"Oh, shut up." You playfully swat her. "I don't sound like that."

"Yes, you do," Natasha chuckles. "Some days I can barely get you to go multiple rounds. You practically fall asleep with me still inside of you."

"Shut up!" You laugh.

Natasha shakes her head at the absurdity of it all. "I can't believe you got me so good. I really thought we were having problems."

"You're cocky," You scoff.

"And you're the queen of the universe, baby." Natasha grins, leaning over to kiss you. "Let's get this over with so we can get home and you can show me how much I don't suck in bed."

"I can't upload this to Tiktok," You sigh.

"Well put it with the other videos that we can't upload."

"Good idea," You reached for the camera and shut it off. So much for being a tiktok star.

[tonyspank]

WH0 R U 3???

Summary: Tara’s worst worries are back. Will they scare you away?

Warnings: kissing (ew! right??), ghostface, violence, and bad writing 😞

A/N: pt.4 finna be a lit crazy movie yall. ALSO WHO’S GHOSTFACE????? who r yall suspecting

part 1 part 2

"That feels so good." Tara groans out, closing her eyes and sinking deeper into the plush covers of your bed. You playfully roll your eyes, continuing to rub her feet. "You're such a drama queen," you tease, a smile playing on your lips. Tara lets out a contented sigh, her body relaxing under your touch.

Tara couldn't be any happier, her worries faded about you. You didn't distance yourself from her, if anything, you were the one who started approaching her, texting her random thoughts throughout the day, and surprising her with little gestures of affection.

She had never felt so loved and cherished before. As the days went by, Tara realized that her heart was slowly healing from past hurts, thanks to your unwavering presence in her life. Your constant support and affection made her feel secure and valued, allowing her to let go of her to fully embrace the happiness you brought into her life.

"Have you thought about it?" Tara asks. You snap your eyes from your daydream and meet her gaze. "I can't come to the party, sorry, Tara."

Tara lets out a dramatic groan, "The frat won't even care! You're a cool professor!"

You chuckle, "Maybe...but that's just unprofessional. If someone reports me to the university, it could jeopardize my job. I can't take that risk." Tara pouts, and then a lightbulb clicks in her head.

"What if you wore a mask?" Tara's eyes light up with excitement as she suggests, "You could disguise yourself and go incognito! No one would recognize you!"

You actually consider her idea for a moment, it could be a fun and safe way to attend the party without risking your professional reputation or job.

"Uhh..." you hesitate a bit, unsure if wearing a mask would fully protect your identity. However, the thought of attending the party without any consequences is tempting, and you begin to seriously consider Tara's suggestion. "I guess I could do that."

Tara's eyes light up with excitement as she hears your response. "Yes!" she exclaims, sitting up quickly before pulling you into a passionate kiss. You begin laughing in the kiss, bringing Tara into a hug as you place more kisses on her cheek.

-

"I'm having second thoughts." You mumble to Tara, now dressed as Batman, her matching as Catwoman. Tara playfully rolls her eyes, taking your hand and dragging you quicker towards the Halloween party. "Come on, don't be a party-pooper," she teases, smiling widely in excitement.

You both enter the Halloween party hand in hand, met with half-drunk college students dancing and mingling in their elaborate costumes.

"There's Mindy and Anika! I'll be right back, I'm gonna go say hello." You watch as Tara weaves through the crowd, disappearing into the sea of costumes. You stand there alone a loud sigh escaping your lips.

You walk into the kitchen, deciding to get a drink for both you and Tara. You don't get too far as you're stopped by a ghost.

"Can you hold this for me? I'll be really quick, I just have to use the bathroom." The girl hands you her ghost costume, rushing off in the direction of the bathroom.

You feel a tap on your shoulder and turn around to see Tara, grinning mischievously. "Changing costumes?" You chuckle and shake your head. "No, just holding it for someone. They'll be back soon." Tara raises an eyebrow curiously. You put the ghost costume over the two of you, smiling.

"I like this mask." You say, tracing over Tara's very accurate copy of Zoe Kravitz's Catwoman mask. Tara smirks and says, "Thank you." You snicker, smiling back at her before bringing her into a kiss.

Tara tries her hardest not to break the kiss with her wide smile. You made her so happy.

Suddenly, the blanket is pulled off of you both, revealing the owner of the costume. Tara ducks away, walking back towards the living room with a bashful expression.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't know—"

You cut her off with a wave. "You're fine, don't worry about it."

The owner of the costume smiles, walking away towards the kitchen. Tara blushes and shyly joins you again, causing you to chuckle. "Why'd you run? I thought the mask helped cover my identity?"You ask in a teasing tone, playfully nudging Tara.

She giggles, grabbing your hand and leading you further into the party.

"Batman!" You recognize the voice calling out to you. You turn to see Mindy, who ushers you over. You exchange a quick glance with Tara before making your way towards Mindy, with a bit of hesitation in your steps.

"Professor Y/LN, are you trying to duck me?" Mindy asks with a mischievous grin, causing you to laugh nervously, your heart pounding in your chest. How on earth did Mindy know it was you?

You try to play it cool, putting on a fake Russian accent—a bad one too. "Uh...Professor? I don't know of such guy." Mindy raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying your act. "Come on, I know it's you. No need for the accent," she says, smirking.

You sheepishly drop the accent, realizing that there's no fooling Mindy.

Anika joins in, "If you really wanted to hide your identity, you shouldn't have matched with Tara. I mean, who else has she been talking to lately? It's not exactly a secret that you two have been spending a lot of time together."

Mindy and Anika nod at each other in sync, leaving you feeling even more exposed.

"Can you guys, like...not pester Y/N? It's a party for Christ's sake," Tara interjects, coming to your defense. Mindy and Anika exchange surprised glances before finally relenting.

You breathe a sigh of relief before feeling yourself being pulled again.

You end up upstairs in an empty bedroom, sitting on the bed as Tara huffs to herself. She seems frustrated and agitated, her hands clenched into fists.

You can sense that she has something to say, but she struggles to find the right words. You take off your mask, sit up from the bed, and walk over to your girlfriend.

As you approach Tara, you gently place a hand on her shoulder, silently conveying your support and willingness to listen. Her tense expression softens slightly, and she takes a deep breath before finally finding the right words to speak her mind.

"I just wish we could be together without everyone judging us," Tara whispers. "It's exhausting constantly worrying about who sees us or what others will think or say about our relationship." You nod understandingly, softly grabbing her hand.

"Me too, T." You rub your thumb against the back of her hand, smiling. "If my job wasn't on the line, I would shout from the rooftops how much I adore you. But even though I can't, I hope you know I do truly cherish you."

Tara smiles. "I think I got that when you started giving me foot massages without protest." You chuckle, slightly rolling your eyes. "Yeah, I guess my secret is out."

Tara places a hand on the back of your neck, leaning in closer. "Well, lucky for you, I adore you too," she whispers, her breath warm against your lips.

Without breaking the kiss, you lift Tara, walking backwards, before laying her down on the bed and taking off her Catwoman mask.

Your favorite sound is heard—Tara's soft laughter playing in your ears. You break away from the kiss, kissing her face and neck. "I can't get enough of you," you confess, trailing kisses down her collarbone. Tara's fingers tangle in your hair as she pulls your mouth back toward hers.

"Tara!" You jump away from the girl, quickly trying to compose yourself. "Chad? What are you doing here?" Tara asks sitting up from the bed, surprised to see Chad standing in the doorway. You find your mask and turn around to see one of your students in the doorway, looking confused.

"Uh...Sam...Sam's here. She's downstairs looking for you." He stammers, his eyes darting between you and Tara. Tara glances at you, grabbing up her mask, before rushing out of the room to find Sam, Chad not too far behind.

You linger in the bedroom, not wanting to face Sam, and when you finally gather the courage to go downstairs, you slip out of the party and make your way home. Hoping your girlfriend isn't in too much trouble with her older sister.

When you're at home, fresh out of the shower, your phone begins ringing. Without even looking at the caller ID, you answer it. "Tara?"

The voice on the other end of the line is not Tara's, but it sounds very familiar. "So sorry to disappoint, but this isn't Tara." You furrow your brow in confusion, trying to place the voice.

"Who is this?" you ask, your heart pounding with anticipation.

"Now, where would the fun be in telling you that?" the voice teases. "You know, you should stay away from Tara."

You remember the voice. Ghostface—was this real? Or was this Laura pretending again?

Your mind races as you try to comprehend the situation.

No, it couldn't be. "Laura? Is this you?" The voice chuckles softly. "Why don't you turn on the news and see what happened to your co-worker? Maybe then you'll begin to understand this isn't some silly prank call."

No, it can't be.

Your hand trembles as you reach for the remote, flipping on the television. The news anchor's voice fills the room, confirming your worst fears - Laura's lifeless body had been found just hours ago.

"You see, Y/N? It's easy to get away with murder. Do you want to be the next professor on the list?" Your heart races as you try to comprehend the chilling words. You might be the next target of this deranged individual.

You run to your kitchen, all your knives are gone. Fuck! They had to be inside your apartment, but when?

Immediately, you run to your front door, opening it quickly, your eyes widening when Ghostface stands there, holding a knife and wearing a menacing mask.

You don't have any time to react. Ghostface stabs you in the shoulder, sending a searing pain through your body. The adrenaline kicks in, and you manage to push Ghostface away, slamming your door shut.

You quickly lock the door, desperately searching for a way to defend yourself.

Ghostface starts to kick on your door, trying to break it down. Panicking, you grab a nearby heavy object, ready to defend yourself if necessary. The kicks grow louder and more forceful, and you brace yourself for what might come next, prepared to protect yourself at all costs.

Ghostface successfully breaks down the door, lunging towards you with a knife. With quick reflexes, you swing the heavy object at Ghostface, making contact and momentarily stunning them. Seizing the opportunity, you sprint towards the front door and down your apartment steps.

You don't look back, you keep sprinting as fast as your legs can carry you. You manage to make it to the crowded streets, where you blend in with the bustling city dwellers.

Your heart pounds in your chest as you search for a safe place to hide, constantly glancing over your shoulder to ensure Ghostface isn't following.

A body clashes with yours, you jump slightly and instinctively brace yourself for an attack, but it's just...Tara?

"Tara?" you say, slightly out of breath. "W-what? Why..? What are you doing here?" Tara looks at you, confused but mostly relieved.

"Sam left the apartment to go to the police station after we saw the news of Professor Crane... I was just worried about you and wanted to make sure you were okay. And I...I was scared and wanted to be with you." Tara explains, her eyes staring into yours, full of vulnerability.

But it's soon replaced with worry, her eyes finding their way to your bloody shoulder. But it's soon replaced with worry, her eyes finding their way to your bloody shoulder.

She gasps and softly pulls you closer to examine the wound.  'What happened? Are you okay?"

"Ghostface called me and attacked me. Fucking lunatic was outside my apartment," you say through gritted teeth, wincing as Tara's gentle touch brushes against the wound. "He said something about staying away from you."

Tara's concern deepens as she hears your explanation, her brows furrowing in both fear and anger, regardless, she stays silent, unsure of what to say.

You clench your jaw. "But that's not happening, T. I won't let him scare me away. I adore you, remember?"

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 113 }

give me love.

akira kurusu x fem. reader

12 months to fall

general notes: unedited; both akira and the reader are in their 20s; the story takes place in roughly the south-eastern part of the united states (think north carolina, tennessee, virginia, etc)

{ caught in a river of records and dreams | oh, will you keep up with me? | everyone's looking for someone to hold | but i can't let you go... }

{ 2019 }

september

the fresh scent of autumn was in the air, and there was an excitement felt coursing through your veins. you were eager to start your first milestone here, your university life at the ripe age of 20.

your university was well-known, despite it being in the middle of a small town. it accepted thousands upon thousands of students each year, and you were proud to be one of them. the campus was gorgeous, and you found yourself being distracted by the various trees planted throughout it and the way the leaves changed colors. as you looked around, your breath was immediately taken away at the sight of a grand oak tree settled a few feet away.

it was as though you were drawn to it, the colors reminding you of a fiery sunset as you seemed to gravitate toward it without even a second thought. the moment you stood beneath it, you allowed your hands to gently touch at the orange leaves, not realizing such beauty could exist.

you were stuck admiring the tree for an unknown amount of time, becoming aware of someone who stood in your periphery. you said nothing to the stranger, just continued to admire the branches of the oak tree when a soft voice was heard.

"i did not realize it would be so beautiful here."

what caught you off guard was the faint traces of an accent beneath his tone. being filled with a curiosity, you look to your right to see what had to be the most beautiful young man you had ever laid eyes on.

he had wavy, ebony locks of hair and wore a pair of glasses that covered his stormy, grey eyes. he was tall and lanky, but you had a hunch that he was much stronger than he looked as you trailed your eyes down his form before looking back at his eyes. his full lips were halfway parted as he met your gaze, not once breaking eye contact with you, and the intensity of his stare was enough to make your cheeks heat up in response.

your heart was pounding, and you felt shy suddenly, unable to hold his gaze as you looked away from him. "y-yes, i've seen the leaves changing colors before, but not with such bright intensity."

you wanted to talk to this perfect stranger some more, but was cut off when your alarm went off from the confines of your bag. with a gasp, you hastily take your phone out to see the time read 9:00am, meaning you had fifteen minutes to get to your first class of the day.

letting out a tiny curse, you were about to say your goodbyes to this perfect stranger when he stops you, placing his hand on your wrist. "w-wait, don't go, i-i'm a bit lost and am unsure of where to go for my first class of the day."

you ask him what class he had, and when he says the same name of your first class of the morning, you gave him a wide smile and take a hold of his hand.

"that's perfect, we share the first class together then. come with me, i'll take you."

without giving it a second thought, you take a hold of his hand and interlock your fingertips together with his, unaware of the way the slightest dust of pink was seen settled against his cheek.

october

akira kurusu was his name, and you found out that he had come to your university as an exchange student, where he would spend a year learning about what being a student was like here in the u.s. he tells you about how he spent most of his life growing up in a small town and how due to certain circumstances, he had to spend his second year of high school in the big city.

when you asked him why he had to move at such an odd place in time, a strange look of discomfort fell over him, with akira telling you it was just something he had to do. his tone was closed off, and it was clear that he didn't wish to talk about it.

wanting to change the subject for his sake, you asked about his desire to come here to the states and was relieved when you heard him perk up once more. you spent some time enjoying a warm cup of coffee at your university's café, wishing to get to know akira better as he spoke about his interests. you felt awkward, trying to determine how akira wanted you to address him as, since you knew that in japan, many people referred to there peers by their last name. for the past couple of weeks, you have been referring to akira by his surname, but the strange glint in his eyes each time you called him kurusu made him feel too distant from you.

when you told akira about this concern, akira simply smiled at you, "you may call me akira, since i see you as a friend... well, my only friend here, really."

he was truly such a sweet and intelligent young man, telling you about how he held an interest in learning and taught himself english when he was a teenager.

you compliment him on his drive and how flawlessly he spoke. "seriously, english is a really tough language to learn, so i'm so proud of you and your hard work ku- i-i mean, a-akira."

you found yourself stuttering when you said his name, tasting it on the tip your tongue for the first time. akira's eyes widen the moment he hears you say his name, and you could have sworn you say a light tinge of pink against his cheeks.

seemingly embarrassed, akira lets out a cough before holding his cup of coffee, taking a sip of it so as to distract himself. he was acting a bit...strange- flustered was more like it. and with akira being so flustered, it made your own cheeks heat up in response.

"i-i'm so sorry, did you prefer me to call you kurusu instead-"

"no!" akira begins to vehemently shake his head, setting down his cup of coffee as a genuine smile paints his soft features. "i-i actually like how my name sounds against your lips..."

akira keeps his grey eyes on you while murmuring your own name in response, the syllables being enough to make your heart pound in response, not quite getting used to the sound of his smooth voice saying your name.

and it was in that moment that you realized you liked how your name sounded against akira's lips as well.

november

"akira sounds like such a wonderful friend, sweetheart. you should invite him over for thanksgiving!"

"m-mom!" something about her suggestion makes your entire face heat up in embarrassment.

you were nearly done with the semester, and thanksgiving break was only a few days away. after you completed your exam, you would be free to return home and enjoy the holiday with your family. but your mother's suggestion made you consider inviting akira along.

"you said that your best friend is originally from japan, right? so it doesn't seem likely that he'll go back home for just a few days. me and your father would not mind if you invited him over."

the offer was truly tempting for you as you chewed on your bottom lip, considering it. it didn't feel right to leave akira all alone when at least 90% of the school would be leaving to go back home to their families. just picturing akira all alone in his dorm room made your heart ache, and with your mother's permission, you figured having akira join you for thanksgiving would be needed.

you spend a few more minutes talking to your mother before hanging up the phone. going through your messages, you click on akira's name, the pad of your thumbs poised over the keyboard as you thought of what to say to him. as if akira himself had read your mind, you see a new text pop up from him that reads:

akira 🤓 📖 : [ hey, are you free right now? i just bought some hot cocoa for us! can i come over? ]

you 🌅 : [ YES! my roomie just left yesterday since she didn't have to take any exams. i'm all alone rn and it's kinda freaky here 😭 ]

akira 🤓 📖 : [ alright, i'll be over in a minute ❤️ ]

you felt butterflies erupt all across your abdomen upon seeing his little heart at the end, with you seeming to read his text over and over again.

you would be lying if you said that you hadn't developed a slight crush on akira kurusu. after all, he was just so soft and sweet. he gave off the aura of being the classic boy-next-door, and you wondered why he wasn't seeing anyone or was already taken.

recalling the moment you had studied with him just a few weeks ago, you brought up his relationship status out of pure curiosity (ignoring the fact that you were beginning to catch feelings for him) and was shocked to find out that he was still single.

"i was seeing someone when i was 16 and at shujin, but when i had to move back home, we had to end it. we're still on good terms though, and i consider them to be a great friend to this day!"

the familiar sensation of butterflies was felt coursing through you at the thought of akira being single, making you feel like you truly had a chance with him. however, a part of you was reluctant to truly tell him how you feel, not wishing to destroy this perfect friendship you had already developed with him.

so despite how you felt, you held back your feelings for him, wanting to cherish what you already had with such a sweet guy like akira.

a sudden knock at your door breaks you out of your prior reveries pertaining to akira, with you alerting your guest that you were coming. with an excited bounce in your step, you unlock your door to see your goofy and cheerful best friend holding up two warm cups of hot cocoa with a warm smile on his face before coming in.

"hey tr- i-i mean..." akira coughs, clearing his throat before referring you to your name. the strangeness of it all was enough to make your head tilt in question, but you ultimately decided against it. with a smile on your face, you take the hot cocoa from akira's hands while taking a sip of it. with you sighing dreamily at the taste, you beckon akira to follow you before settling yourself on the couch.

you fall into easy conversation when akira joins you, being so comfortable around each other that you had no reason to hide your true self from him. as you listened to akira speak, you felt the burning sensation creeping up against your throat.

you really wanted to ask akira if he would join you for thanksgiving, but you weren't sure if he would accept. he seemed like a very reserved person, and you didn't wish to scare him off with the plethora of family members that were bound to be in your home. but at the same time, you didn't particularly enjoy the thought of akira being all alone, either.

a soft voice calling your name coupled along with a hand being waved in front of you breaks you out of your thoughts as you see akira looking at you with concern. "are you okay? you seem out of it. is something bothering you? you know you can always talk to me about it."

the reassuring smile on akira's face was what finally gave you the courage to ask him. so, taking a deep breath, you clenched your eyes shut and told him, "m-my parents said that this was okay, but, if you can, would you like to come back home with me and spend thanksgiving with me and my family?"

the silence seemed deafening, and you were still feeling too anxious to open your eyes and meet his gaze. only when you heard the melodious sound of his laughter did you open your eyes.

the expression akira was giving you was making your heart race, with his eyes looking at you with such fondness that you found it harder to breathe. his gentle chuckle continues on for a few more seconds before he leans forward, reaching out a hand to softly grace at your cheek with the back of his hand.

"are you sure i won't intrude on your time with your family?"

you shake your head in response, feeling as though the air was sapped from your lungs the moment you witness his smile once more.

"then... if you'll have me, i don't mind spending thanksgiving break surrounded by you and your loved ones..."

december

letting akira experience thanksgiving at your household was a bit chaotic, yet so much fun at the same time. during the entire day, your parents and extended family welcomed your friend with open arms, and they had a blast learning about his culture with akira doing the same.

you were incredibly happy that akira enjoyed a lot of the foods that were piled high upon his plate, and the amount of leftovers that were still available the next day. it was so refreshing to see akira smiling so much while genuinely having such a great time.

after your finals were completed during the second week of december, you were shocked to find how quickly time was passing by, with your first semester already completed and christmas just a few days away. your parents had decided to spend the holidays up north where your grandparents resided, and you decided to stay back and spend it with akira.

when you broke the news to your mother over the phone, she seemed to understand why you wished to spend some time with akira and not leave him all alone on christmas day. she tells you how sweet he was and that she was happy for you, which in turn made you break out into a wide grin when you told her that you were only just friends with him.

yet the slight trill heard in her laughter let you know that she did not believe a single word that you said.

but truth be told, you didn't believe yourself, either.

when you told akira that you would be staying on campus, too, he gave you the brightest smile while giving you an unexpected hug. you could feel your eyes widen, taking in the scent of his cologne mixed in with coffee and something slightly spicy and sweet, like cinnamon, while returning his hug.

after a few seconds, he lets go of you while placing his hands on your shoulders. "that means we can spend christmas in my dorm. when midnight hits on the 24, come on over and we can celebrate together."

akira's excitement was palatable, and you found yourself smiling along with him while giving him an eager nod. "yes, i'll come over when midnight hits. should i make anything, or...?"

akira shakes his head before giving you a tiny smile. "there's no need, i've got everything covered. all you need to do is come by my dorm at midnight, got it?"

"got it."

you and akira still spent some time together up until the day before christmas. because he wanted to 'surprise' you, you did not get a chance to see him today, which gave you some time to wrap your present for him.

for some odd reason, akira had a deep fascination and love for arséne lupin, the gentleman thief. he often told you that his interest in learning english was to read the translated works of maurice leblanc, and that the surname leblanc held a deep meaning for him. so before finals began, you explored your local bookstore and was excited to find a leather bound copy arséne lupin, gentleman burglar.

knowing that this was the perfect gift for akira, you began wrapping the novel with a wide smile on your face. as you continued to wrap his gift, you slowly began to realize just how deeply you felt for akira, and the feelings you harbored for him were beginning to morph into something stronger than just a mere crush.

you were beginning to fall for him... hard.

once the present was completely wrapped, you looked at the time on your phone to see a text from akira:

akira 🤓 📖 : [ hey, so good news! i already completed my preparations. do you want to come over right now? ]

you found yourself smiling as you looked at the time on your phone.

you 🌅 : [ it's only 8pm. isn't it a bit too early?? ]

akira 🤓 📖 : [ yeah, i know lol but i really want to see you right now... ]

your heart was felt palpitating again, filling you with a warmth after seeing akira's text. as you chewed on your bottom lip, you began to grin before replying:

you 🌅 : [ i'll be there in 10 minutes. ]

akira 🤓 📖 liked your message.

since it was a bit cold outside, you threw on some tight fitting sweats along with a shirt and your favorite sweater, completing the look with your worn converses as you grabbed your bag and akira's present. placing the present within the confines of your bag, you fix your hair and grabbed your keys before making your way towards his dorm.

arriving in just a few minutes, you knock on akira's door, hearing some shuffling from behind as it opens just a few seconds later, revealing akira himself.

his face seemed flushed as he let out a breathless sigh of your name, welcoming you inside as he quickly beckons you to come closer. "here, come in and warm up. i've already got some dinner ready, too."

"oh wow, did you make me some curry? or omurice?" you giggle, taking off your shoes as you admired the cute cut out snowflakes hanging from the ceiling and the string of christmas lights strewn throughout the apartment.

as you admired the decorations, your eyes trail down towards the dining room table to find a bucket of fried chicken and a pure white cake settled on top of it. "what? fried chicken and cake?" you begin to giggle as you set your bag on the couch before following akira into the kitchen as he grabbed some plates.

although you knew that both of these foods were delicious, you wouldn't say that this was your typical christmas eve / christmas day meal. yet akira seemed excited all the same, "oh trust me, back home, when me and my old friends are able to spend christmas together, we would eat this and just have a good time."

the eagerness heard in his voice makes you smile, and you take one of the plates before settling yourself across from him on the table. you take some pieces of chicken while akira does the same, biting into it as you moaned at how good it tasted. "hmm, maybe you're on to something, akira. having fried chicken on christmas eve is pretty tasty."

"right? truly, i can't get enough of this."

you spoke to akira about his friends and family, and despite how he seemed to share so many fond memories with them, you could sense that he was keeping something hidden from you, something that would make his stories feel a bit more complete.

even though you held some suspicions about what akira was telling you, you allowed it to slide again since you were certain that if he wanted to tell you more, then he would do so when he was ready. you weren't going to be a bad friend and demand things from him that he wasn't ready to give.

after your delicious dinner of fried chicken, akira shares a thick slice of cake with you as you enjoyed how soft and fluffy it was. the frosting was addicting, and you were filled with so much happiness that you wanted akira to feel the same.

"hey aki?"

"hm?" akira looks away from his cake to see you getting up to take your bag. as you rummage through it, you brought out akira's gift. the two of you were completely silent as you sat back down and slid the gift across the table for him to take.

"i-it's not much, but today has been so much fun that i...i wanted to do something for y-you, too."

you watch with bated breath as akira takes the gift and carefully unwraps his. his fingertips work meticulously, and it was as though he didn't wish to tear apart the wrapping as he slowly revealed the leather bound copy of arséne lupin, gentleman burglar.

his grey eyes displayed no emotion, and you were afraid that he hated your gift. your heart was torn now, reaching out to him when he suddenly stands to walk away from you.

an iciness was felt coursing through your veins, and you felt the contents of your food swirling within your stomach, making you nauseous. your breathing became labored and you swore that you wanted to do nothing more than to get out of here, to run far away as you possible could-

yet that impulsive sensation dissipates into thin air when akira comes back with his own wrapped gift in his hands. he says nothing, simply returning to his seat settled across from you before sliding the present towards you.

all you could hear was the blushing rushing through your head as your shaky hands take the present. with careful movements, you unwrap the gift to see a slender velvet box settled on the palm of your hand. as you open up the box, you gasp upon seeing a glittering silver necklace with a snowflake pendant glimmering beneath the light.

"a treasure for my treasure." akira's voice was suddenly heard directly beside you, and you watch as his slender hands take the necklace out of the confines of its box.

you tried to keep your breathing even, yet you couldn't stop your heart from racing within your chest. you were becoming flustered, and when akira finished fastening the necklace around your neck did you finally turn around to look at him.

he wore a wide smile before leaning down closer to you. "c-can i kiss you?"

you could only manage a nod, sliding your eyes shut when you felt akira's soft lips press against yours in an achingly gentle, but sweet kiss. your first kiss with him wasn't demanding or forceful, but something that was soft and oh so giving.

after sharing a few more kisses with him did akira finally rest his forehead against yours.

while shakily saying your name, he asks, "will you be... mine?"

you would be a fool not to accept his confession.

january

time truly does go by so fast when you're having fun-

or when you're in love.

the moment you and akira became a couple on christmas eve was the best moment of your life. you had been so drawn to akira from the start and you were truly floating on cloud 9.

despite his departure looming above you, you decided to ignore such feelings of dread the moment akira must return back to japan in august. all you wanted to do was bask in the moment and spend as much time as you could with akira.

it was the evening after your first day of classes, the start of your spring semester when akira came over to your dorm to watch some movies with you on your laptop. you had a quick meal of instant ramen and put on a light, comedic film to enjoy.

you could feel akira cuddling you from behind, playing with your strands of hair briefly before softly calling your name.

"do you still want to know why i spent a year at a different school?"

you furrow your eyes a bit, reaching over towards your laptop to pause the movie. wanting to give akira your full attention, you turn around so that you were facing him, eyes glimmering with love while giving him a nod.

"yes, of course. if you trust me enough to talk about it, then yes."

he sighs before placing a kiss against your forehead. "i was sent to a different school because i was put on probation for a year, and my old school had kicked me out due to my then... criminal record."

your eyes were wide at this point, not believing that someone like akira could ever have a criminal record. akira knew what you were thinking and decided to hold you even closer to him. "i know i know. it's crazy, right? but all i wanted was to help her."

he then tells you the reasoning for his arrest, which involved a corrupt politician forcing a woman to go home with him. he didn't want the woman to do something that made her uncomfortable, and when he tried to move the man away from her, he fell due to his inebriated state.

because he was so powerful, no one believed akira when he told the cops the man had fallen by himself and was promptly arrested on the scene. you hear the way akira's voice cracked, knowing how traumatic it must have been for him as you slowly reached out to comfort him.

"oh, akira... i'm so sorry. it must have been so hard on you..."

you feel akira embrace you tightly while letting out a humorless laugh, "trust me, treasure, i've been through so much worse."

not wanting akira to be in pain, you gently frame at his face, making him face you as you could see the tears glimmering within his grey eyes. not saying a word, you leaned in to kiss him, tasting the saltiness of his tears against your lips, allowing akira to cling to you for comfort.

february

you never believed in celebrating valentine's day...

that is, until now.

you knew that it was customary in japan to make chocolates to display your romantic interest in a boy, but would it hold the same meaning if you were already in a relationship with akira?

in the end, you decided that it didn't matter, that as long as it made him happy, then you'd do something as ridiculous as making homemade chocolates for the first time just for him.

after sending akira a text that you were busy doing a project with one of your classmates (a complete lie), you spent the whole day gathering ingredients to make some chocolates for akira on this special day. while everyone else was spending it by going out to a dinner and a movie, you wanted to give akira a more traditional experience.

he told you valentine's day was kind of a big deal back where he was from and that there were many ways to celebrate it. anyone could celebrate valentine's day in either a platonic or romantic manner.

when you teased akira, asking if he got a lot of confession chocolates back when he was younger and you saw the way his face lit up in a blush was when you began laughing before kissing his cheek, commenting on how cute he was when he suddenly tackled you to the couch and began littering your face with kisses.

with the memory of that day fueling you, you put your entire heart and soul into the chocolates, following the recipe you found to the best of your abilities. a few hours later, you were able to make a decent amount of chocolate squares before individually wrapping them in cellophane and ribbons.

"whew." by the end of it all, you were sweating a bit, looking down at your basket of chocolates wrapped in a variety of different colors. it sure looked pretty, and you just hoped that it tasted even a little decent.

wishing to surprise akira, you take your basket and begin making your trek towards akira's dorm. with your heart pounding in anticipation, you knock on his door, hoping that his roommate was out and that you could spend some time with akira.

within a few seconds, you saw the door unlock with akira giving you a shocked expression. "i thought you had to do a project?"

you shake your head while holding up the basket of chocolates for him to take. "happy valentine's day, akira!"

he takes the basket of chocolates with an awed expression on his face, and you were in the midst of explaining, "now normally, i don't celebrate valentine's day at all, but i figured this would make you really happy. so, i tried to make some homemade chocolate and-"

you were cut off when akira takes a hold of your hand and crashes his lips into yours, kissing you with such fervor that it takes your breath away.

even if your chocolates may not be as sweet as you wanted it to be, akira's kisses made up for it by far.

march

akira 🤓 📖 ❤️ : [ meet me at our usual cafe, i have a surprise for you. ]

today was march 14, and you had just got out of your last class for the day when akira texted you. excited to see him again, you tell him that you were on your way and began walking toward the café with a bounce in your step.

upon entering the café, you saw akira settled on one of the tables in the corner and immediately went over to greet him. he sees you and takes you in his arms, giving you a quick kiss before gesturing at you to take a seat.

"i've got a surprise for you." he slides your favorite drink over to you, and you took a sip while basking in the warm flavor of your favorite coffee.

"mhmm, go on."

"you know the planetarium exhibit that just opened recently? well, i got us some tickets for it." akira was brimming with excitement now, completely and utterly excited for your date.

"wha- no way! that's so amazing aki! i've been dying to see it, too!" you talk about the rest of your plans for the night before akira quickly ushers you out of the café, "come on, let's get ready together, and we can enjoy our date."

with one last kiss, you tell akira that you'd meet him in the next couple of hours before heading back into your dorm to get ready. deciding to take a quick shower, you do so and make sure to clean yourself thoroughly, wanting to feel refreshed during your date with akira.

when you were done with your shower, you kept the towel wrapped around your body as you rummaged through your drawers and closet for something cute to wear. your roommate heard you pacing back and forth in your room and decides to check on you.

she knocks on your wall, catching your attention while smiling at you. "hey there, what's gotten you so jittery?"

"akira just planned the cutest and most thoughtful date for us, and i'm having trouble deciding what to wear."

you listen as your roommate lets out a hum, looking through your closet before picking out a single article of clothing. one by one, she settles the pieces on your bed before gesturing her hand out, "there we go, i think if you go with this style, it would suit you extremely well."

she gives you a wink before heading out of your room, "have fun on your date, and you can thank me later!"

you look down at all the clothes your roommate had chosen for you, only to realize that she was right-

this style was perfect for your date tonight.

you would definitely need to find a way to thank her someday.

{ ... }

when it was time for your date with akira, you met him outside of the café while dressed in the outfit your roommate had picked out for you. he seemed stunned upon seeing you for a brief moment before snapping out of it. "you look ravishing, my love."

akira meets you halfway to press a kiss against your lips, earning the widest smile from you. you wrap your arms together with his, remaining close to him as you both made your way towards the planetarium.

the walk was uneventful, but calm, with a small crowd forming outside of the building. you stood in line with akira, remaining close by his side as you rested your head against his shoulders, ready to enjoy this night with your beloved by your side.

{ ... }

after exploring the planetarium exhibit, you were left in a dreamlike state, completely mesmerized by all the beauty the universe had to offer. it was incredible to be surrounded by a sea of stars, and you were so happy akira shared this experience with you.

before you left the exhibit, akira told you to wait for him and that he'll be back in a moment. you give him a nod while standing off to the side of the exit, not questioning where akira needed to go as you browsed through your phone to pass the time.

about ten minutes later, you saw akira approach you, and that's when you lifted you head while letting out a gasp.

settled within akira's arms was a grand bouquet of roses that held a plethora of colors as its petals. a wave of emotion goes through you upon seeing the bouquet of rainbow roses, the sight so lovely that your heart ached.

"a-akira..."

"happy white day, treasure. you've made me so happy on valentine's day that i knew i had to do something equally amazing, just to show you how much i love you."

you gasp upon hearing those three special words, hands shaking as you reached out to take the bouquet or roses from his grasps. with tears streaming down your face, you grip akira from the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer as you shared yet another kiss to celebrate this amazing night.

when the need for air proved to be too much for you, akira pulls away while gently caressing at your cheek. he places one final kiss against your forehead before taking a hold of your hand. "come on, let's enjoy our night together and have some dinner. i reserved a place and would really like to try it..."

you were so incredibly happy, hugging your bouquet or roses close to you while praying that this night would never end.

april

the semester seemed to take a turn for the worst as you began to feel even more stressed out than usual with your upcoming finals as you struggled to stay afloat while amidst all the assignments.

it felt as though you were drowning, becoming so overwhelmed with everything you had to do before your spring semester ended.

and this afternoon was no better for you.

as you tried to look through your notes while typing out your study guide for one of your classes, you felt a sharp pain at the front of your head. you could feel the pinpricks of a migraine beginning to form, and you were so tired and stressed- but you needed to get this done.

letting out a shaky sigh, your hands were poised against the keyboard of your laptop once more, ready to continue typing when a sudden presence standing in front of you stops you.

"akira? what are you doing here?"

he says nothing, simply closes your laptop shut as words or protests begin forming against your lips. before you could say a word, akira ends up taking you away from your laptop and textbooks, leading you back to your room and on top of your twin sized bed.

it was a tight fit, but akira manages to lay in bed with you, holding you against his chest while gently playing with the strands of your hair. "your roommate texted me, telling me how much you were practically killing yourself with your studying."

"ugh, she's being dramatic." you groan while burying your face within his chest. "i just... have so much to do and so little time. i can't afford to-"

"you need to rest, love." akira brushes his lips against your hair, "and i will not take no as an answer."

"but-"

akira then pulls away from you, placing his lips on yours, successfully silencing you with a kiss.

"no buts, either. this is the plan... you are going to take a much needed nap with me, and when we wake up, i'll order some takeout, then we'll study together, okay?"

"okay..." was your weak reply, letting out a yawn as you fell against him, allowing your heavy eyelids to finally close. with the exhaustion felt coursing through your veins, you shut your eyes and bask in akira's warmth, feeling all of your stress melting away whilst in his arms.

may

akira's birthday was coming up, and you wanted to surprise him with a scrapbook of some sort, one that contained all of his beloved memories.

akira had no idea what your plans were, and he was currently away from his dorm to work on a group project at the library. he trusts you enough to leave you alone in his room, and you were happy for that fact.

but you wanted to make something as a type of memento for him. you had already printed out most of the pictures you had saved on your phone, but wanted to include some pictures he had of him in his hometown, if at all possible.

as you were rummaging through his room, your eyes fell onto his desk as you opened a random drawer. in it, you were surprised to find what looked like a diary with a bunch of pictures and online articles settled beneath it.

you open the diary, but could not make sense of anything that was written due to the fact that it was entirely in japanese. with a shake of your head, you place the diary to the side and look through the stack of papers beneath it.

in it, you could see a few printed pages of what appears to be an online forum called the PHAN-SITE. you caught a few other english phrases here and there, but the vast majority of it was in japanese. fueled by curiosity now, you continue rummaging through before coming across a few pictures that depicted the same group of people.

upon seeing akira standing amidst what you assumed to be his friends, you pick up the picture to admire it. they seemed to be standing in the middle of the city, and a black cat was seen settled on akira's shoulders as they were all smiling at the camera.

keeping the picture to the side, you saw something else that catches your attention. it was another article that you couldn't make out and read, yet it was the grainy, black and white photo that caught your attention.

picking up the article to get a better glimpse of the man in the picture, you saw the familiar waves of messy, black hair with a bird-like domino mask that covered his eyes. your heart was racing as goosebumps were felt all across your skin.

your hands were shaking now as you trailed your eyes over to the bolded letters settled at the top of the page.

THE PHANTOM THIEVES OF HEART STRIKES AGAIN!

the headline was enough to make you feel a bit unsteady, landing on akira's bed as you stared blankly at the online article. you were well aware of this strange phenomenon, of corrupted adults in japan having their lives changed because of this strange group of thieves.

you always found it odd that this phenomenon only occurred in japan, and was even becoming excited at the thought of the phantom thieves coming here. they were all everyone was talking about, even yourself.

so, why did akira have so many articles pertaining to them? was he once an avid fan like you were?

or could he possibly be-

that was when an epiphany hits you, with you realizing that perhaps, akira was once part of the phantom thieves of heart. you did a double take and look back at the picture featured on the article, and it was no denying of the fact that this had to be akira back in his youth.

why else would he hold on to these articles?

"hey treasure, i'm home. sorry if i kept you...waiting?"

the moment akira sees you holding on to one of the articles pertaining to the phantom thieves, he takes quick strides and rips the page out of your hand, nearly giving you a paper cut in response.

akira does not meet your gaze, and you could feel the guilt coursing through your veins at upsetting him. "i-i'm sorry, i was just trying to find hints on what to get you for your birthday and i got... carried away."

your boyfriend appeared to be close to breaking down, unable to meet your gaze as he bites down on his bottom lip.

"i... i really was going to tell you... i didn't want you to find out like this."

you stand back to your full height while brushing back his strands of hair, revealing his grey eyes to you. "you can trust me; you can tell me anything, and i'll still love you."

akira clenches his eyes shut before bringing you into his arms. he crushes you against him before laying down in bed with you. it was then that he spent the next several hours telling you everything, how his unjust arrest lead him and his friends to start a revolution of sorts in order to change the corrupt world around them.

the moment akira finishes telling his story, you felt your heart grow, filled with an unconditional love for him. kissing his own forehead in response, you tell him how proud you are of him for remaining so strong and for fighting for what he believed in.

akira remains silent with tears running down his face, holding you close to him as he buries your face within the curve of your neck, finding comfort in your warmth and mere presence.

june

it was finally summer break and today was akira's birthday, the day you were looking forward to celebrating the most with your beloved boyfriend.

you decided to keep this day simple and sweet, with akira staying in the dorms for a few more months before he had to go back home.

you didn't want to think about his homecoming, knowing that you would be in tears the moment he had to leave.

so instead, you focused on making this the perfect day for akira, baking him a small cake mixed in with some sprinkles in the batter. because you wanted this to be a relaxing and intimate birthday, you already had plans to order his favorite food and have it delivered around dinnertime.

with his cake finished, you spent the day spoiling him, singing happy birthday to akira while watching him make a wish before blowing out the candles.

"so what did you wish for?" you ask him with a teasing smile on your face. akira responds with his signature laugh, bringing you closer to him as he presses a kiss against your lips.

"sorry treasure, that i cannot tell you, for if i told you, then it wouldn't come true."

you roll your eyes at him, but relent, giving the tip of his nose a kiss before spoiling him even more with cuddles.

when evening came, you and akira were in the middle of enjoying your dinner. you had given him his first gift earlier, another journal and a sleek looking watch that he was currently wearing. you hadn't given him your last gift yet, wanting to wait for the perfect moment to do so.

and now, you finally had the perfect chance to give him your last gift.

as akira places all the empty takeout cartons in the bin, you called out to him, holding the last present behind your back.

"aki, can you come here?"

"of course, love."

he wipes his hand on a towel, placing it to the side before stepping closer to you. "what is it?"

not daring to speak for fear of bursting into tears, you slowly reveal the last present to him. akira's eyes were wide and he tries to tell you, "babe, the journal and watch was more than enough-"

you shake your head, silently beckoning akira to take the final gift and open it. with a nod, he does so, accepting your final gift. as he carefully unwraps it, he unveils the scrapbook you had taken some time to make for him.

as if mesmerized by the captured memories, he sees on the very first page the group picture of he and his friends that you had seen within his desk. and as he flipped the pages, that's when he saw all of the pictures you had taken together with him ever since you first started dating.

while akira flips through the pages was when you finally gathered the courage to speak,

"i made you this album consisting off all the pictures we took together... it took some time to extract them from my phone and print, b-but i truly wanted to give you something in hopes that you won't... that you won't ever forget about me."

when akira looks away from the scrapbook, he meets your gaze, and you could see the unshed tears glimmering within his steel grey eyes. he says your name, filled with emotion as he hugs you closer to him. "i could never forget you. i thought i had already felt love before, but that... that feeling is nothing to how i feel for you now."

he sets the scrapbook off to the side, framing your face with his two hands as you both began to cry. not caring about the tears that streamed down both of your faces, akira begins to kiss you deeply, crushing your body to his while holding you so tightly.

"whatever the future brings, it doesn't matter to me. because deep down in my heart, i know that i'll only love you and you alone."

akira begins to smile through his tears, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away at the moisture that streams down your eyes. "i promise you, i promise you that i'll never forget you, and that i'll always come back to you- always."

july

there were tears streaming down your face when you realized that akira had to return back to japan soon.

even though akira did everything he could to distract you from the inevitable, you still harbored such deep feelings of hurt.

you spent every day together, never once growing tired of each other. akira still cherished your gifts for him, making new memories with you as he filled the pages of his journal with details about you.

and despite how happy you felt, spending so much time with akira-

you were also feeling so hurt and miserable as well.

it was one of those nights where you began to feel sad once more, crying in akira's arms as he gently comforted you throughout the night.

"ssh, it's going to be alright. we'll see each other again, and i promise i'll text you and call you every day."

"i k-know that, aki, it's j-just." you could feel the tears brimming against your eyes again, "i can't let you go."

that was the final straw as you cried again, clinging to akira as a defeated sigh escapes from his parted lips.

"i can't let you go, either, treasure. ever since i met you, i feel as though my life has become so much brighter."

he whispers your name, catching your attention when your eyes met with his. wanting to do all he could to make you happy, he leans in and kisses you, not stopping as he wraps his arms around you, becoming a tangle of limbs in response.

you spent the whole night kissing and cuddling, basking in his whispers as you talked yourself into believing his promises of forever-

that what you had with akira was real, and that he would always come back to you.

august

you had no idea how you functioned without akira.

he had gone home on the exact date he was meant to leave, before the new semester began, and you did not wish to spend these final few weeks of summer alone. so, you went back home while trying to pretend that akira's absence didn't absolutely devastate you.

you hated the thousands of miles that stood between you and akira, and despite everything, you were glad that akira kept his end of the promise. even though there was also a huge difference in timezones, you did your best to make things work.

he would send you pictures in the middle of the night, and you could see how bright everything looked back at his hometown. he seemed happy in those pictures, being back with family and friends, yet even you could tell that his smile never could quite reach his eyes, always remaining tiny with the same glimmer of sadness in his gaze.

today, you woke up feeling groggy and admittedly, a bit upset. you texted akira first thing in the morning-

and had yet to get a reply back.

now, normally, you were able to brush it off, thinking he was busy doing some things with his family or friends. when this happens, akira always made sure to text you back within the next few hours, telling you about his day as you both fell back into an easy conversation.

so you waited...

and waited...

and waited...

but there was still no reply from akira.

around dinner, once he finished eating, your father suddenly excused himself, telling you and your mother that he had a quick errand to run, and that he'll return in the next hour or so. you barely heard him, still picking at your scarcely eaten dinner. you weren't even aware of how your father had just left, making your mother worry a bit.

"sweetheart, is everything alright? you've barely eaten today, and it's so clear that something is upsetting you."

you trail your eyes towards your phone currently settled on the counter, still with no text from akira. "it's stupid, you probably might get mad at me for feeling upset."

"i won't get mad, honey. you can tell me what's bothering you."

you felt your mother reach out a hand to you, placing it on top of yours as you sighed and relented. "it's about akira. i texted him a few times, and he still hasn't replied to me. and i just- i'm worried that i may have done something to upset him."

your mother gives you a sympathetic expression, bringing you closer to her as she embraces you fully. "don't worry, my dear. i'm sure he'll get back to you soon. just think positive, okay?"

feeling pathetic, you refuse to allow the tears to fall as you angrily began to wipe the dampness away from your eyes. heeding her words, you follow her into the living room to take your mind off of your boyfriend, putting on a random show to pass time as you both waited for your father to come home.

roughly an hour later, you hear the sound of the door unlocking as your father enters your home with what looks like some luggage. you were frowning with confusion now, "dad, what's with the luggage? who's here?"

he merely smiles at you before gesturing outside. "it's your surprise, that's who's here."

you could feel the feelings of hope coursing through your veins, making you stand from your seat on the couch as you ran barefoot out into your driveway-

only to see akira standing there, smiling brightly at you.

letting out a sob of his name, you ran towards him and threw your arms around his neck, feeling the tears of joy streaming down your face as you embraced him tightly.

"y-you idiot! i was so worried about you..."

you listen to his soft laughter once more, feeling his lips press against your hair, "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but i wanted to surprise you."

you pull away from him with a pout painted against your lips. "b-but, how? how are you here?"

akira continues to smile at you, leaning down to press a kiss against your lips before explaining, "i had your parents help me prepare for this surprise. despite how arduous the process was, i'm able to continue going to university with you."

"b-but-"

he cuts you off with another kiss, "no buts, and honestly, didn't i already tell you?"

akira basks in your presence, closing his eyes while keeping you in his arms, "i will always come back to you."

epilogue - present day

you were the first to awaken when you heard the sounds of your baby crying in the next room. filled with a panic only a mother would feel for her newborn child, you throw back your blankets and quickly rush towards her room.

you call out your daughter's name, only to see that her cries had become quieter the moment akira held her whilst rocking her back and forth. his tired grey eyes meets your gaze, and he manages to send you a tiny smile all while comforting your daughter.

the sight of akira pressing gentle kisses against his daughter's dark curls was enough to make your heart melt as you tiptoed into the room. you bask in the beauty of your husband and child cuddled together all while playfully frowning at the sight.

"i'm so jealous, our princess prefers you over me."

as if reacting to the sound of your voice, you watch as your daughter lets out a soft whine, her legs and tiny arms kicking as they desperately reached out to you. not wanting to upset her, you lean down to give her your finger, watching as she automatically relaxes within her father's embrace.

"don't be ridiculous, it's so obvious that she loves both of us equally."

akira lets out a soft chuckle, beckoning you to come closer to him. when you lean down is when akira gives you another kiss, making your heart flutter with excitement as you found yourself falling in love with him all over again.

after pulling away from akira, you both look down at your precious daughter, who was already asleep now that she was in the comfort and warmth of her father's arms, a sensation that you knew of all too well.

"akira kurusu, i am so happy to have met you all those years ago. you have been my soulmate from the start, and i will never take what we have for granted."

akira's eyes were seen becoming brighter, filled with a love and adoration that you were so used to seeing as he beckons you closer to kiss you once more.

"you took the words right out of my mouth, mrs. kurusu. you have given me the greatest treasure i could ever ask for, and for that, i am eternally yours."

a.n. - it has been so long since i have written a story for akira, and i really wanted to try this new oneshot format with the best boy in the entire world. this story was truly a labor of love, taking me around 8 hours and 9k+ words to complete this entire story. please forgive me for any mistakes, as it is still unedited 🥹 and please, do enjoy the long read ❤️

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[struckd0wn]

Nobody talks about Shy tops and their equality shy bottoms enough so I will write it myself 😈

𝐒𝐡𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐩!𝐒𝐦𝐨𝐤𝐞 × 𝐒𝐡𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Smut and some fluff ig, kinda sappy LOL :3

18+, mdni

Both of you are too shy to initiate intimacy so it gets awkward when you're both in the mood but both to scared to make a move until eventually you both just explore

You and Tomas sit side by side on your shared sofa. You're both visibly antsy and desperate for one another but both of you are to scared to just reach out. Your eyes leave the television screen, examining your boyfriend's face. His strong jawline shifts as he clenches his teeth, watching you watch him from the corner of his eye. Eventually Smoke turns to look at you, catching your eyes. His face lights up bright red and you assume your cheeks are burning as well. The eye contact last a couple of seconds before the both of you collide roughly, leting out all of your pent up energy out.

Asking for thing is also difficult for the both of you. Mumble out a request, blush covering their face, only for the other to not hear. Repeating their selves, blush worsening as they see their partner blush at the suggestion.

"Hey love, Can I... eat you out." You look up to him from your phone, asking him to repeat himself as you didn't quite hear him. Tomas's face is bright red and his blue eyes refuse to meet yours. "Can I eat you out." The elder tells you again, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. You're almost speechless, taking your turn to blush a dull pink over your cheeks. You nod your head and your lover lights up immediately, dragging you along to the bedroom.

During Intimacy it's not to bad, the two of you are usually too caught up in the pleasure to feel embarrassed, but sometimes it's inevitable.

Tomas groans softly, his calloused fingers run through your hair as you bob up and down on his swollen cock. He opens his eyes, averting his gaze down to you in between his legs. The sight of you is almost to much to handle, your puffy lips on his erection, smaller hands wrapped around his shaft, tear filled eyes looking back up at him. Smoke burns, turning to look away, bashful and in a bit of disbelief at how good you look. You burn too, embarrassed as he watched you shamelessly choke down his length like it was nothing.

The aftermath is the most embarrassing part for the both of you, unsure of what to say or how to continue after such sinful activities.

Tomas leans over you, huffing heavily after finishing inside of you. Your legs quiver around him, eyelids drooping at your sudden tiredness. Your lover watches you from above, one hand holding him up and the other softly caressing you cheek. You stare back up at him, quickly feeling more embarrassed by the second, pulling up the blanket to cover your reddening face. Smoke laughs nervously, leaning down to hide his own face in the crook of your neck, turning both of you on your side to cuddle for the rest of the night.

a/n: sorry I've been gone so long LOL, kinktober burned me out horribly but I'm back >:3, I'll get to my requests soon I promise. I was sick and had covid the last 2 times I wanted to write the universe DID NOT WANT ME WRITING SMUT. anyways, I'll try to write more I promise :D!!!

[jaetyun]

infrunami.

"can you come back to me? cause i was blind to see that you were right infrunami."

heeseung x f!reader

this is the original draft to the now smau, see if you can spot all the changes i made from oneshot ver to smau ver! also warning it ends very abruptly because its unfinished lol

wc: 4.9k

You couldn't remember how your life was before Ningning. Your best friend had moved to your street in the 3rd grade, your houses straight across from one another.

Ningning seemed straight out of a dream you had, with her closet full of the Justice you never got to own. Her hair was always perfectly groomed, and a pretty headband in place to keep it down. She was the kindest person you had ever met, and though you hadn't met many people at the ripe age of 8 you had guessed she must be the nicest person in the world because why else would she hand you sugary snacks from her lunchbox every day?!

She was comforting. Predictable even. Which is why it was such a shock when you met her older brother, Heeseung. He was the most confusing person in the world- scratch that- the *Universe*. He was always looming in the background, his closet being anything but flashy. Seriously, a black Nirvana shirt in elementary school?!

Because of this, you found yourself constantly trying to talk to him, to figure him out. Even though his shy demeanor pushed you away, you'd always come running back. Heeseung would never admit it, but he appreciated your company. A lot.

In middle school, it became even harder for Heeseung to express this sentiment. 'hey Yizhuo, is Y/N coming today?' became 'I hope to God your little friend isn't staying over', it was just a product of hormones and deep teenage angst. He couldn't help it!

As you both grew, he figured your childish interest in him would disappear. It was simply curiosity, nothing more. so when you stayed clinging onto him, Heeseung was left shrugging you off, his disinterest only feeding into your infatuation with the boy.

"You with barcode boy again?"

"Piss off, limp dick!" You sneered, tugging Heeseung closer to you as you both strode in the hallway.

"You don't have to do that y'know.." He muttered words barely above a whisper. You turned to face him, tilting your head. "Do what?"

"Defend me. or hang out with me in general" He looked away, staring at the lockers instead of making eye contact with you. You stared at him for a moment before looking away, your grip on his arm tightening.

"Don't be stupid." Heeseungs parted lips closed, unsure of how to respond.

"I'll always be here, Seung. Nobody will hurt you under my watch" You proudly grinned, giving him an enthusiastic thumbs up. He just nodded, the same tight-lipped expression he had before.

"Yeah, guess I couldn't get rid of you if I tried."

You snorted "Was that the goal?"

"Damn it! You caught me" He smiled, finally turning to face you. You grinned, softly meeting his gaze.

"I take it back, only *one* person can hurt you"

He cocked an eyebrow, tilting his head.

"Who?" You quickly unlinked your arm from his, punching the now-open area right above his waist. You gave his ribs one last shank for good measure before pointing to yourself with your thumb.

"I can!"

As the years passed, that mostly held up. What started as relief turned into humiliation, as he continuously got comments about your company.

What was even worse than the teasing was you: A generally popular cheerleader about half his height and a year younger berating anyone who dared to talk about Heeseung. How was he *ever* supposed to get a girlfriend at this rate?

It didn't help that you were practically an arm away at all times, given that you were with Ningning 90% of the day. Heeseung understood you just wanted to keep your oath, but he felt more than ever like a sad loser who resorts to being with his sister's cheer team rather than being his own person.

Heeseung tried to reason with himself. The people snickering were most likely just jealous! High school kids weren't known as the most accepting people in the world, so he took it with pride.

At least.. he tried to.

But the only thing worse than the people in his grade were the ones in *yours*. The glares the cheer team sent his way never went unnoticed, the already self-conscious boy only curling over himself more throughout the years.

He could hardly talk to you inside school anymore, with your presence becoming an honor more than a regular site. It didn't help that his friend was almost always whining about sneaking off to the library to play games on the computers, a sheepish smile on his face as you nodded in understanding.

He knew you were growing up, and that you'd change, that you'd both change. Heeseung told himself it was natural, that he shouldn't feel so bad every time he saw your new friends. People change, and they go with people who suit them. It became increasingly clear to him that you two didn't suit each other after all this time. It was time for your childish interest in your friend's older brother to leave, and for that interest to be with people who suited you. People that weren't Heeseung.

"You don't have to do all this for me"

"But I want to" You smiled, lazily swinging your backpack off your shoulder and placing it on his desk. You took out an old hoodie Heeseung had overgrown (It didn't quite fit you either, but trying to take it from you was like talking to a wall), swiftly sticking your arms through the holes to cover your sweaty cheer uniform.

"Which episode of Mob Psycho were we on?" He sat up, closing his laptop. You hadn't noticed, too busy grabbing materials from your backpack to see his uneasy expression. "15 right?"

"You should be with Yizhuo right now" You glanced up, eyebrows furrowing.

"She's with the team, they're out bowling" You laughed it off, looking back down at the perfume and makeup you had placed on the black wood. He cleared his throat, catching your attention again.

"That's what I mean. You should be out bowling" He offered, watching the way you waved him off with a laugh. "I like hanging out with you, don't worry about it"

"I know you do.." He trailed, Heeseungs expression saying what he didn't have to. You squinted, your hands slowing from your bag.

"Do *you* not like hanging around *me*?"

Before he could clarify, he felt the teenage angst start kicking in. Fuck, fuck! The last thing you needed was the wrong idea, but before he could stop himself from construing his own words puberty went to work.

"I just don't understand why you keep lingering around. you're forcing something that isn't working!" He threw his hands up, watching you mirror the gesture. "You think I'm forcing us? Is that what you really think?"

Heeseung's jaw tensed, of course it wasn't. But it'd be selfish of him to keep you to himself. "If you actually cared you'd leave me alone."

You scoffed, throwing the hoodie back into your bag as you spoke "I told you I wouldn't leave you anytime soon. You never seemed to be bothered by it until now"

"I don't need charity work. You're a cool girl, but you're supposed to be Yizhuo's friend, not mine."

"Y'know what? You're right, I should've been bowling right now. But instead, I'm watching anime with a fucking loser. 'Cause I liked you more than them, my bad for not getting the hint it wasn't mutual"

You gestured to the perfume left on his desk, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. "I don't want it anymore. The scent reminds me of you, tell Ning it's a gift"

You shut his door on the way out, leaving him alone in engulfing silence. Well shit, this isn't remotely what he wanted. Fuck puberty. He'd rather drag you back in here and argue with you than sit by himself, the only thing he had left to think about is your words. You had done exactly what he asked, and he made it impossibly clear what he wanted. So why isn't he happy with the result? Why did it feel like this was gonna come back to bite him? Heeseung was no master of social cues, but even he knew he couldn't text you with a simple 'Hey soz lol I was having a bad day 🙏💯" and expect you to be happy. Making his sister talk to you for him was possibly the second worst idea he had ever had in his 16 years of life (The first was the time he convinced Ningning to get into the toddler swing in middle school. She broke her hip.)

Heeseung felt at a loss for words. At a loss of emotion even, complete suspension of thought in his mind.

He glanced at the perfume, squinting to see what scent it was.

Japanese Cherry Blossom from Bath and Bodyworks. A scent so feminine no man would ever willingly keep it, let alone use it. He had to give it to his sister, he was never gonna be caught *dead* with this in his room.

*spritz*

It was surprisingly strong. No wonder you used it after cheer practice, it makes sense how you never smelt bad even when sitting right next to him, the laptop on each of your thighs so it's an equal viewing experience. The smell was the only comforting thing to Heeseung at this moment, no well in hell he was getting rid of it. He took the bottle and shoved it into the corner of his nightstand: Out of sight out of mind!

--

As Heeseung expected, now that you were out of the equation the teasing went down by a mile. It also helped that any rumors of the two of you were shut down by the entire team, all of them seemingly having a consensus it was no hard feelings. Or at least, a consensus to tell people that. Heeseung also found himself becoming slimmer and gaining muscle, most all his time was devoted to basketball to take his mind off that night.

But moving on would be simply too easy. Whatever God or deity exists was most definitely on your side, or at the very least, not Heeseungs.

When he found out you had gotten with one of his middle school bullies, he was distraught. you had seen how much Sunghoon bothered him every day, the nickname 'barcode boy' still being used on Heeseung all these years later.

Though he and Sunghoon were on decent terms now, he couldn't help but feel as if it was a targeted decision. Getting with someone you knew hated him after having a blow-up fight sure was an odd coincidence at best and bafflingly petty at worst.

"You guys are seriously so cute" Kazuha gushed, your phone in her hand as she took the role of cameraman for your insta.

Sunghoon had his arm wrapped nonchalantly around your shoulders, a peace sign being his attempt at posing for the camera. You puckered your lips, kissing his cheek as the camera flashed. "Thank you, Zuha" You took your phone back, blowing a kiss that she quickly snatched before Sunghoon had a chance. you showed him the photo, smiling up at your boyfriend.

"Still can't believe how long it took for me to realize you liked me"

He shrugged, a sheepish laugh escaping his lips. "Didnt exactly express it well"

Ningning tilted her head "I thought you two hated each other, I know Y/N did for a while"

He shook your shoulder, a proud smile on his face. "Nah, I was just jealous of Heeseung and took it out on him" You tutted at the name drop, the simple mention of him still catches you off guard. Ningning snorts, leaning onto the diner's table in sudden interest. "What? You thought they were into each other?" You nervously laugh along with them, your eyes darting wildly now that your brain has been kicked into high alert with the new conversation topic.

"Still did up till she asked me out"

"God, this is so cheesy" You deflected, your head buried into his chest from embarrassment

Heeseung had arrived a few minutes ago to pick his sister up, watching the conversation in horror. He knew you'd be there, that was a given, but he figured it was a girl hangout and he'd possibly have the chance to talk to you. Instead, you were curled up next to Sunghoon, who had his arm wrapped around your back. The casual mention of his name drove him crazy, he hated how you were no longer protective over him. He hated that he lost your loyalty.

"Speaking of Heeseung, where is he? He should've been here by now"

You stiffened under Sunghoon, resisting the urge to rip away from him and look at your best friend after she offhandedly said he'd be here. Right next to you.

Sunghoon noticed, speaking for you "You need your brother to pick you up?"

"I don't have my license" she reasoned, scrolling through her contacts to find him. "And unlike all of you, I'm on good terms with him"

"Hey! I never hated Heeseung" Kazuha crossed her arms, clearly offended. Ningning looked back up at her, an unimpressed expression on her face "You talked shit about him every time Y/N couldn't join us"

Heeseung almost yelped when his phone audibly rang, revealing his presence at the front entrance. He cleared his throat and shoved his phone into his back pocket, big brother mode turning on.

"I just got here, Gyu was holding me up" The table physically relaxed, a relieved look on everyone's face. Ningning stood up, kissing Kazuha on the cheek while saying her goodbyes. Sunghoon gave Heeseung a short wave, an awkward wave back from the latter before they were on their way.

Heeseung wished that was the worst part about you dating Sunghoon, the fact that they had middle school beef. Something as stupid and trivial as that, and that deep down you were happy and living your best life while he was bitter he wasn't in it.

He wished the worst part wasn't the fact that Sunghoon, your first love, tried to fuck your best friend. Heeseungs little sister.

It certainly didn't help that you gave him a second chance and reassured everyone you knew it'd be a one-time thing. until it wasn't, and you walked in on him and another girl

Heeseung remembered you rushing into their house, broken sobs as you begged for forgiveness from Ningning.

He had just made a new bad decision that had to make the top of the list (beating out the broken hip incident by a long shot), and it was the moment you told Ningning what happened.

His biggest regret was not running out of his room and hugging you, comforting you, just *seeing* you. Instead, he chickened out like he always did.

How many regrets can one person blame on puberty? At what point does it become your personality, just a part of you that you can't deny?

Heeseung listened through a closed door, whispering how he was gonna beat Sunghoons ass into next year. Lies, he knew he couldn't do anything. He was simply the barcode boy, the boy that couldn't stand up for anyone or anything. He felt so useless, wishing he could do more than listen

The cherry on top was he was graduating that year, shipping himself off to university that summer. Without a proper chance to say goodbye, you went 3 years without a single word exchanged with one another.

-

"She's going to some preppy art school an hour away" Ningning complained, throwing herself onto her mattress without a bed frame.

"You'd rather have her come to us with our tuition rate? hard pass" Heeseung was on the opposite side of the room, placing boxes in a miscellaneous order. Ningning rolled over, now on her back as she continued to whine.

"Going to art school on a full-ride scholarship is about as embarrassing as wearing a varsity jacket after high school"

She peered at her brother who was in fact, wearing his varsity jacket after high school.

"Mom paid a lot of money for this!" He reasoned, pointing toward her. "You better watch your mouth before I leave you to unpack by yourself" She sheepishly smiled, mumbling an apology.

"Why do you have so much shit??" He continues to nag, opening the boxes to see what in the world could've made them so heavy and full. "You're gonna end up throwing half of this.." He trails off, not finishing his statement as his attention began to drift. Peeking through one of the box's flaps was a picture frame of the 3 of you. Heeseung could only half listen to what Ningning was saying, too preoccupied with flipping the box's lid with his backhand to get a better view. It's been years and there are absolutely 0 reasons he should still be hung up over you, but the sense of yearning for what could've been has been looming over his head like a notification he couldn't swipe away.

"They're filled with memories you heartless asshole!"

"That's what a hoarder would say" He scoffs, now kneeling over the box with the picture in his hand. Ningning fell silent, pulling herself up to get a better view of Heeseungs dejected sigh. His eyes flashed with so many thoughts and memories she couldn't even begin to imagine what he was thinking.

"She came to the party crying when you guys had that fight. She kept asking me if you never liked her" His heart sank to his ass, and at that moment he wanted nothing more than to shit out all the guilt pooling in his stomach. "It was for the better, she's happy"

"Have you been happy, Heeseung?"

He closed his lips together, forming a thin line over his teeth before pushing it back out to make a pout. "That's irrelevant"

"Not when she would ask how you were doing every day"

"I thought you were just being a caring sister!" Heeseungs frown was met with Ningnings evil cackle, putting her elbows on the bed and sliding so she was on her stomach.

"God no!" She snorted, tilting her head as if a thought bubble had appeared on the side of her temple. "it was always 'Is Heeseung okay? what's he up to? Has he made any new friends?' and I'd always have to be like 'well...'" she trailed, smiling mischievously when she saw his annoyed expression.

"Wait.. she was checking up on me?"

"The whole time." She hummed before shrugging "Not sure if it makes you feel better or worse, but I hope it helps you make the right choice"

He furrows his brows, placing the frame back into the box carefully, and he could barely spare his sister a single glance when his gaze was busy lingering on your giddy smile.

"What choice?"

"She's coming to the party later tonight."

Party was a bit of an overstatement, it was closer to a medium-sized get-together. Now that Ningning was a freshman at her brother's university, he gathered his friends (reluctantly after they practically begged to see her) and some of their acquaintances to hang out at Jake's fraternity house. Although it was optional, everyone was also welcome to bring a plus one. Heeseung had joked she was gonna bring you but hadn't expected her to take it as genuine advice.

"Does she know what it is?" Ningning brought her hand up to her shoulder, shaking it loosely. "So-so??"

Heeseung deadpanned, tilting his head in a final show of how unimpressed he was, leaving Ningning to drop her head with a sigh.

"I'm just saying. I want you to be happy again Seung." She lifted her head back up, and pursed her lips as she thought for a moment. "Y/N wants you to be happy. I'm her carrier pigeon" She finished, finally drawing a short laugh out of her brother.

"Yunjins my plus one" Heeseung breathed out, his expression turning sour at the mention. Ningning furrowed her eyebrows, her mouth tugging itself into an unamused smile. "Okay? You're not trying to fuck my friend are you?"

He quickly shook his head, hands coming up defensively. "No! She just never liked when I was around other girls."

Ningning face curled into disgust at the insinuation "You last talked to her when she was 15, I think she can handle you having a girlfriend."

"Not my girlfriend" He groaned, standing up to resume his task of relocating all the boxes.

"Whatever, just don't be stupid!"

-

An hour into the party, Heeseung was sure his sister had just bluffed. He had yet to spot you, which was embarrassing when he took a good look at himself in the mirror.

He had worn his best sweatshirt, paired with baggy jeans he only wore on special occasions. Though it wasn't obvious to any onlookers, to Heeseung the fact that he had dressed to impress you only reminded him of the anxiousness he possessed as a teenager.

Staring at his reflection, Heeseungs eyes widened once he peered down lower, a strip of pictures you two took in a photobooth sticking out his pocket slightly. Yeah, definitely resembling himself 3 years ago.

Now exiting the bathroom, he could hardly hold back the frown etched on his face, his mood undeniably soured.

"Didn't know you cared so much about losing beer pong" Jake teased, an arm slinging around his friends as the other arm handed him a red solo cup. "Hey, no hard feelings. just had to get back at you for the other day"

Heeseung tried his best to put on a more lighthearted expression, the corner of his lip quirking at the mention of his victory. "I've always been better at basketball" He nonchalantly shrugged, Jake's unimpressed glare working the other corner up into a full smile.

"But seriously, what's with the attitude?" Heeseungs eyes perked up the question, a confused furrow of his eyebrows functioning as a reply. "You look like you wanted to leave since you got here"

"Ah," He started, his gaze faltering when he realized he wasn't as secretive with his emotions as he had hoped. "I just, I dunno.." He continued, open hand going to the crook of his neck as he scratched absentmindedly. "Guess I acted weird cause of someone"

Jake frowned at the vague answer, tutting as he unlinked his arm from the other boy. "You can't wear your best for a girl you've been ignoring all night"

Heeseung winced, slowly moving his eyes from the crowd to his friend. "Am I that obvious?"

"Dude, you are *not* as slick as you think you are." Jake laughed, taking the untouched cup back into his own grasp and taking a sip. "Yunjin thought you were mad at her"

Heeseung blinked, worry turning into confusion. Jake was so incredibly close to hitting the mark, and then completely avoided it in true Jake fashion.

"Well I'm not"

"Tell that to Yunjin, she's been with Yizhuo and her friend the entire time. By the way, do you recognize her? figured I'd ask 'cause no one else does" Jake points to their general direction.

Absolutely nothing could've prepared Heeseung for the sight.

The reason he's been ignoring everyone, the reason he was nervous to show up today, the reason he had a stupid photobooth strip (that had to be at least 5 years old at this point) stuffed in his pocket.

There you were, laughing away with a small group of girls right by the assortment of drinks.

All he could do was gulp, a silent nod was all he could manage. "Knew I should've asked you first! Who is that?" Heeseung was utterly unresponsive, his eyes boring into every inch of you. Jake watched for a moment, cracking a grin eventually. "You're helpless," He chuckled, giving his friend a light shove in your direction. "Go talk to your girl!"

It completely flew over Heeseungs head that Jake had intended to tease him about Yunjin, his mind now coming up with a plan. He had to show he wasn't the same kid he was when you last saw him. He had to prove that he had grown.

And that he was really.. really sorry about that night.

The same question kept repeating in his mind: how can he act cool? What should he do to show you the best first impression he can?

What would Jake do? What would Jake do?! Since Jake always seemed to have a roster at any given moment, Heeseung figured he had to be doing something right. so if he just used the advice from his somewhat womanizing friend...

"Guess who?" He spoke lowly in your ear, covering your eyes with his hands.

Holy shit. Heeseung wanted to curl into a ball and roll off the face of the earth from how corny and absolutely *not cool* he was being.

You softly gasped, arms tugging away at his and turning around in complete shock. "Heeseung?" Your eyes beamed, looking him up and down as if you couldn't believe he was real. Though in a split second, all emotion drained from your face as you glanced back up and made eye contact. "What the hell was that?" He opened his mouth to respond, but he was quickly cut off by Yunjin.

"You guys know each other?" Her curious glance at the close proximity made the moment suddenly awkward, both of you nodding wordlessly.

The question was.. hard to answer. With your complicated relationship, neither of you were sure how exactly to answer without going into detail.

"We grew up together" Although you said it as more of a question than a confident response, you earned a nod of approval from both Ningning and Heeseung. you turned back to Yunjin, smiling as you took his arms and crossed them over your shoulders to prevent him from running away.

"This is the first time he's ever approached me first actually" The passive-aggressive comment had made one thing clear to him: you were most definitely still mad at him.

"Really? He's not that shy.." Yunjin looked back up to the boy for confirmation, earning a sheepish laugh.

"I used to be"

"Aww, that sounds kinda cute" She smiled, eyes never leaving his. Ningning groaned, a waving hand in dismissal

"Can you guys *please* not flirt at my party? Save it for the ride home"

You turned around, an unreadable expression as you glanced at Heeseung. He blinked as if he was asking you a question with his eyes, one you answered with an annoyed eye roll. "Looks like there's some catching up to do"

Ningning's eyes rose in realization, mouth forming an 'o' as she slowly nodded. "I guess I never told you, did I?"

"Let's not talk about it right now! It's so embarrassing" Yunjin had a shy smile, staring down at her cup with a finger circling the rim.

Your eyes never left Heeseungs, a passive-aggressive smile stabbing daggers into him. "A *lot* of catching up."

you let go of his wrists, waving a short bye before signaling to the bathroom. As if Heeseung was in a trance, he watched dumbly before walking after you wordlessly. He resembled a puppy as he mindlessly followed wherever you went, waiting outside the restroom with an awkward lean against the wall.

When you exited, your eyes widened with another unreadable expression. You had since stopped your motion of rubbing the excess water onto your skirt, arms crossing as though you were about to say some snarky remark to Heeseung. He cleared his throat, trying his damn best to fake nonchalance. The one question popping in his head over and over: What would Jake do?

"Didn't notice you there" You snorted, face visibly relaxing. "You didn't?"

His demeanor faltered, hands combing through his hair as Heeseung longingly glanced away. "Nah."

You took a wide step to the left, using your hands to gesture to the room behind you. He blinked, unsure of what your body language is implying.

"If you're not here for me, you need to use the bathroom." Heeseung eyes slightly widened, his eyebrows jerking upward before it falls back to his neutral expression. Your eyes crinkle as you smile, stepping back in front of him. "You're the exact same dork you were when I last saw you."

He couldn't mask his expression this time, his eyebrows furrowing in worry and his eyes now losing focus.

There's no way he was the same person. That's not possible, not when everyone treats him so differently. He must have changed drastically if he went from being bullied to having a best friend in a fraternity.

"I am?" You nod, your hard expression softening into a chuckle.

"I can still read you like a book."

"You can?"

"You've never been good at hiding secrets anyways, but you did the thing you always do when you're caught in a lie"

His mouth falls open, the defensive mode automatically kicking in for him. "I don't do anything when I lie" The teenage angst was about to take over until Heeseungs parted mouth closed, realizing what had just happened within his brain.

Fuck, maybe he hasn't changed.

You mimick the eyebrow flicking, your eyes widening and your eyebrows quirking up like a twitch.

"Is that you trying to hit on me?"

"Were *you* trying to hit on *me* when you did it?" You both blink for a moment, the pause only catapulting the two of you into a fit of laughter.

[stinkysam]

Peter Parker - I never lost hope.

Warning : none

Genre : fluff

Synopsis : “pt 2 of tasm!peter x reader where they're both heroes?? maybe them talking again and finally starting to get along well again” - anon

Reader : gender neutral (you/yours)

A/N : Part ONE

Even though Peter didn't respond to your messages, you continue to send him texts through the years. Mainly for new years, Yom Kippur, Hanukkah, Passovers, birthdays and christmases. And a bit randomly at times.

Then one day you saw him at your door. He was in his spider suit, his mask off, sweaty and disheveled.

You didn't have the time to say anything that he had wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tightly.

Shocked, you slowly responded to the hug, your hands holding his arms.

“Peter ? What's going on ?” You said, gently pushing him off of you to make him talk.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” He started. “I should've answered your texts.”

“What ?” You shook your head, not understanding. “You're mad so-”

“No ! I mean, yes, I was mad at first, then it was just… pettiness and I didn't know what to answer so it was easier to ignore them.”

You stared at him, unsure of what to say.

“W- what happened ? Why are you here ?”

“It's… complicated.”

You frowned, not understanding.

“I went to another universe…” He started. “Saved Max and doctor Connors and a bunch of other villains from other mes, oh, and I also saved MJ, she's the love of one of mes’ life. Saving her really did something to me. Magic is real. And one of mes got stabbed but it's not his first time which is a bit worrisome-”

You stared at him, as if he's told you he went to another universe and that magic is real- oh, wait, that's what he told you ! You blinked incredulously, trying to follow his rambling, putting your hands on his shoulders to slow him down.

“What ?” He asked, almost out of breath.

“What the fuck ?” You whispered, still shocked.

“Yeah ! I know !” He nodded excitedly before continuing. “Peter 2, the other me, and Peter 1 too, actually, made me realize I didn't have to be alone and that it was worth trying to fight for the people we love and I love you, you're my best friend and I shouldn't have been mad at you for trying to look out for me and-” He froze as you hugged him, your head resting on his shoulder.

“I'm sorry… For Gwen.” You said quietly.

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly against him as you could finally give him your condolences face to face.

“I'm glad it's not a ‘I told you so’” He joked and you kicked his knee. “It's… okay. I've made my mourning. It wasn't your fault but mine. You tried to warn me-”

“I don't care ! I should've been there to help you protect her !”

“No, no. You said it. It's impossible to constantly watch after one person. It's paranoid and unhealthy.”

“But maybe I could've helped change that.” You said, letting go of him.

“Maybe, or maybe she still would've died. You don't know.”

“But still-”

“No ! Stop it !” He grabbed your face, stopping you from talking more. “Thank you for being there for me even if it was from afar. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. I should've answered your messages. I shoul-”

“It's okay.”

“No it's not ! I've been the worst best friend ever but I'm here to make up for it. Will you forgive me ?”

“Of course I forgive you !” You said, wrapping your arms around him once more. “You're my best friend.”

Peter smiled, hugging you again.

“Thank you for all your messages.” Even though he didn't want to admit it at the time, seeing them really helped him feel cared for and important.

You patted his back gently, before pulling away.

“Of course. I never stopped caring about you.”

“Thanks, man. It meant a lot. I promise I'll be here for you.” He said and you smiled.

“Wanna come in ? Instead of talking by the doorstep ?”

“Yeah… I'd like to.”

[pumpkin321xxx]

Little Nurse

Mori x Gn!reader (PLATONIC)

Preview: You are working under Mori to learn about medical procedures since you wanted to gain experience to make it easier for you to adjust to university, and be an experienced and well-trained doctor.

c.w: Protective Mori, mentions violence, clueless reader, mentions of gun, and all the other medicine stuff-

A/n: My religious school won't let me drop out so I can do some courses and continue college so I'll just cope with the loss by writing this </3 also pls don't attack me for writing a Mori fanfic-

The busy days and packed schedule started once you finally convinced a local doctor to let you study under him and embraced yourself with whatever hardships you were about to face.

Oh naive you, if only you have known how hard it is to keep up with the busy and torturous life as his nurse. However, it never bothered you.

Why even be bothered when he always spoils you with snacks, treats, and his constant concerns for your health? You felt so loved in his clinic that you would rather spend time there with him and Elise with no knowledge that you are working in the Mafia's clinic to treat its members!

It was heartwarming that Mori was ready to support you throughout every step of reaching your goal. You worked so hard in school to achieve a perfect grade but studying about random stuff was never enough. Mori can see the determination that you wanted the real stuff, rather than wasting your time solving algebra or writing a useless long essay.

But the real stuff would be too much for someone who just got started to explore the real world, isn't it?

And the naive you have realized this the moment a group of men in black rushed in with a severely wounded patient, desperate in need of help and clinging on to the threads of his life.

You were obviously frozen in place, as if the ground had grabbed you, stopping you from saving the patient. A gunshot immediately snapped you out of your delirium, your scared wide eyes meeting that scary look on Mori's face. This immediately urged you to go ahead and treat the patient.

You wanted this, didn't you?

As the intense moments pass by, Mori wouldn't skip a chance to apologize and treat you with snacks, he wouldn't risk scaring his little helper all for his feelings to get in the way, but he wouldn't miss the chance to scold you lightly either, advising you to be careful the next time.

Mori was also very protective of you, he couldn't stand the sight of some of the strangers you're treating staring at you or even attempting to make a move. A scalpel to their throat was a great and successful method to make them behave whenever they were not looking. And he was ready to splatter the walls of his precious clinic red whenever he had to.

Unsure why, Mori never let you take a day off, and even planned to not let you go after you graduate.

Of course, a mafia boss has a lot of responsibilities but due to his skills in medicine, he was also forced to treat those careless members of his which left his schedule packed and tiring so having you by his side to ensure the treatment left him in relief due to the burden decreasing on his shoulder.

So he wouldn't let you go no matter what! Who knows that he will pay you better than any hospital in Yokohama.

[remapped-soul]

for the fic title thing i'm roughly translating part of an italian indie song

"where i'm from a kiss and a goodbye are the same thing"

in Italian: "da dove vengo io un bacio ed un addio sono la stessa cosa"

brocedes? rosquez? it's your pick, i'm in a angsty mood 😃

so. i know im half a year late. but. i hope this little ficlet i got for you will be worth it. all the angst and all that. i took the kiss part and ran away with it. inspiration suddenly arrived after ghosting me for months. also, this snippet is part of a bigger universe, set in the 5+1 au (the fabio fic on my ao3), sometime in the future.

Marc goes looking for Fabio, but he finds Valentino Rossi. Draped across the couch like he owns the place, Valentino looks up when Marc enters the motorhome as if he expected this all along. He merely blinks in Marc's direction before his focus shifts back to scrolling on his phone.

The door closes behind Marc with a soft sound. Fabio is nowhere in sight. Neither is Tom. No one enters Fabio's place without Tom's approval, but with Valentino here, Marc guesses Tom has been updated on the latest arrangements.

Marc stalls, unsure what to do. He planned this with Fabio a weekend ago. The time, the place. Did he forget? The idea sits wrong in the pit of his stomach. Marc could leave, try another time, but he has an interview in thirty minutes, a meeting with his team right after. Training and physio later in the evening. Beauty sleep at nine if he wants a decent race tomorrow.

Fabio wouldn't stand him up unless it was important.

Marc could leave. "Do you know where he is?" He asks instead, choosing English as his language, even if he speaks Italian as well. Neither here nor there, but meeting on neutral ground. They always yelled at each other in Italian. Valentino shrugs. "Do you know when he will be back?"

Valentino shrugs again. Doesn't even look up. Marc grits his teeth. He breathes in and remembers his agreement with Fabio, his love not finite, but so abundant he feels the need to share. At the end of the day, Fabio returns to him no matter what, but as Marc looks at Valentino, he is not so sure anymore.

Marc tries again. He always did. For Fabio he will always try. "Can you tell Fabio I looked for him? We had something planned. He…he knows why."

Valentino looks up at that, finally putting his phone away.

"I speak Spanish, you know?" He smiles, Spanish words rolling easily on his tongue. "I'm not sure when blondie will be back, but--" His eyes glint, and Marc bites his tongue to keep himself from snapping at Valentino. Valentino smiles like he knows this. "Can I help you with something?"

"It's fine," Marc replies in stilted English. He needs to get out of here. "I'll talk to him later." He needs to go before--

"I can help you with the arm."

Marc wants to scream.

"No, thank you." Marc had enough. He turns to leave before--

"Marc."

Before something happens. Something like this.

Marc freezes, ignores the stirring in his veins. Valentino hasn't called him by his name in so long. For fuck's sake.

"What?" Marc's Italian has always been harsher than his native tongue, than English. It's a blade sharpened to cut. He spins on his heels, feels his nostrils flare as he looks at Valentino, at the unreadable expression on his face. "What do you think you can do?"

Valentino gets up from the couch, hands raised slightly as if he is facing a rabid dog. Marc feels like one, heart pulsing on his ears, in the back of his throat. He searches Valentino's eyes and doesn't find hostility, nor mockery.

"Fabio has told me he massages your arm sometimes," Valentino continues in Spanish. "Whenever the weather changes. When it gets cold. Whenever you injure it." He doesn't mention the accident in Sachsenring.

"The Netherlands have always been cold."

Valentino sighs and stops a few feet away from Marc. "I'm trying," he says, still in Spanish. It grates on Marc's nerves. "We--"

"You don't need to do anything," Marc says. "I don't care what you do with Fabio as long as he's happy. Just leave me out of it." Marc pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to calm down. He doesn't want to yell. He did that enough when they still told each other i love you in Spanish. Now, they're strangers, and Marc wants to keep it that way. "It's not like you can change anything."

"For Fabio," Valentino continues as if he didn't hear Marc. "We should at least try for him. At some point we're all going to be in the same room. He deserves more than-"

Marc raises an eyebrow.

"This." He gestures between them. "More than us yelling at each other."

Marc raises the other eyebrow too.

"We won't be friends again, Rossi."

"We don't need to," Valentino says. "Just let me massage your arm. You have to race tomorrow."

Marc keeps close to the door as he watches Valentino, waiting. They both know the massage won't do jack shit for him. That's not why he asks Fabio to do it. But Valentino wants something and uses Fabio as an excuse. Marc can ignore everything but that. So he nods, smiles, and closes the distance between them, brushes against Valentino as he sits down on the couch and unzips his jacket, revealing his arm. Indulging, inviting. Holding his breath. Valentino follows.

Valentino's hands are cold on Marc's skin. He tenses his whole body, forbids himself to give even the smallest of tremors as Valentino's callused fingertips run down his biceps, pressing into the ridges slowly, as if Marc is made of glass. As if Valentino cares.

Marc scoffs. Side by side on the couch, he sees Valentino looking up from the corner of his eye. "You can press harder," Marc says. "I won't break. The scar tissue is dead anyway."

Valentino doesn't say anything. He keeps working the muscles, prodding and kneading the arm, breath warm against Marc's skin. If Fabio or Tom came, Marc doesn't know what his explanation is going to be. He mulls over words inside his mind, willing time to go faster, willing his heart to beat slower. Treacherous body, always acting erratically around Valentino. Marc focuses on keeping a steady hold on himself, so he doesn't notice when the air around him shifts, when the couch dips next to him. He snaps back to attention when Valentino presses his lips against Marc's scar, where healthy skin meets the dead tissue.

Marc's breath hitches.

"Vale--"

Valentino kisses down his arm. Slowly, reverence held in the corner of his mouth. He shifts closer, fingers closing around Marc's wrist, around Marc's thigh, caging him in, as if he is afraid Marc will spurt wings and take flight.

"Vale, what are you doing?" His voice breaks, a strange tune he doesn't recognise. Or one Marc chose to forget, reserved only for the nights when Valentino took him apart in the humid Spanish nights.

Valentino's mouth slips down his arm like silk, dry lips catching around Marc's scar, hot breath living goose flesh in its wake.

Marc shivers, leans towards the heat, head turning to see where Valentino is kissing his skin, so strange, so familiar. Valentino looks up at him through his eyelashes, the blue of his irises a whisper around his blown-out pupils. They breath in unison. Valentino leans back, reaches up, and Marc tilts his head down, thinking, thinking-- They haven't kissed since 2015. They haven't touched since 2016. Valentino caresses the edge of Marc's jaw, careful, careful. Marc pushes his cheek against his fingers, thinking, thinking-- is Valentino the same with Fabio? Careful, because he could break? Or rough, the way sometimes Marc is, pushing Fabio against walls, biting under his ear to get him to shiver, because that's how Fabio likes it, because Marc loves--

Marc wrenches himself away before Valentino can kiss him. He pushes himself to the other end of the couch, almost heaving, still looking at Valentino, at the flush on his face that probably matches Marc's own.

"Marc--"

"I'm done here," Marc says in English. "We're done." He leaves without looking back, door almost slamming behind him.

Marc announces he won't race after he leaves Assen early morning on Sunday, and doesn't see Fabio before that. Not in the morning, not the night before, after his duties are done. The only thing Marc gets from him is a text.

Valentino is here. I'm spending the night with him. Fabio doesn't ask for permission. Marc is not his keeper. He's just his boyfriend. So he texts back, Ok, take care. He doesn't text, I know. I almost kissed him. Marc puts his phone on silent and sleeps alone that night.

[bellysoupset]

"Penny for your thoughts?" Luke asked, falling on the bed next to Bella. She didn't look up from her phone, but opened a small smile as she felt her husband squeeze her calf and press a kiss to her naked thigh.

"Wendy isn't answering," she said and Luke stopped kneading on her leg as if he was a cat, raising his eyebrows.

"Uhm-"

"We've been back for two days now. I've texted, I've called... They should be back from Doveport by now, no?" Bella looked away from her phone and Luke nodded, cringing.

He hadn't been texting Vince, out of sheer heartbreak, and now he regretted it, "I could call Vin...?"

"No," Bella shook her head, sitting up straight on the bed, "I'm calling Jon. Maybe Wendy just doesn't wanna talk with me."

"Why wouldn't she?" Luke frowned, noticing the slight waver to Bell's voice. Wendy was clearly very important to her, a development he hadn't predicted and that he wasn't entirely sure when it had happened, but she was.

"I don't know, but something... Something isn't right," Bella decided, getting up from the bed and pacing the bedroom, holding the phone to her ear.

He watched as she chewed on her nails, waiting for Jon to pick up and the way her voice went up a note as he did so, nerves clearly fried from overthinking.

"And she hasn't answered any of your texts either?" Bella said, walking straight to the wardrobe. She pulled out her leggings, squeezing the phone between her cheek and shoulder as she put the pants on, "I'm worried Jon, I'm going over to her place... Yeah, no, I know she's probably still down in Doveport with Vin, but I just- I'll let you know," Bell agreed, gesturing for Lucas to get her snow boots, "yeah, I'll text if she's there... Or if I need help- I'm taking Luke as well-"

Lucas raised his eyebrows, he wasn't aware he'd be going anywhere, but clearly Bell had made up her mind without telling him.

"Alright, bye, love you," Bella said it all in one breath, hanging up and planting her hands on her waist, "get dressed, we're going to Wen's building."

"What did Jonah say?" Lucas asked, obeying without questioning. Bella looked worried and he didn't like it one bit.

"She hasn't answered any of his texts either, since Christmas."

"Well, it's only the twenty nine..." Luke said, throwing Bell her scarf and putting on his socks, "I'm sure everything is fine, baby. They're probably still in Doveport-"

"Uhum," Bella hummed, clearly not buying his reassurances, planting a beanie over her wild curls, "I'm gonna try calling her again."

It was to no avail, so they were in the car not ten minutes later and it was another fifteen before they stopped in front of Wendy's building. Unlike Jonah's, Wen's building only required a password to get inside the building, something Luke thought was terribly unsafe as he followed Bell inside.

She was bouncing on her feet on the elevator ride and he placed a hand over his wife's shoulder, "breathe, baby."

"Stay in the hallway," Bell answered, instead, continuing to nibble on her thumb, ready to draw blood.

For a moment, as Bella knocked on Wendy's door loudly, Luke was convinced the other woman wasn't home. It was the best case scenario, that Vin and Wendy were still down in Doveport, having the time of their lives and they were worrying for nothing-

And then the door opened and Lucas cringed, seeing Bella visibly flinch at the sight.

Wendy was wearing sweatpants and a big sweater from Penn University, her brown hair lying limply around her face and it looked like she hadn't slept in days. Her face was milky white and she was a mess.

"What?"

"I- You're home!" Bella's voice cracked, unsure of how to approach this, "and you're not picking up your phone and I'm worried and- Well, you look terrible, Wen-"

Wendy raised her eyebrows at that, arms crossed to her chest, "maybe I'm not picking up my phone because I want to be alone, has that crossed your mind?"

Bella and Luke were both taken back by the sharp tone, but while Luke was reeling, Bell recovered faster.

Her voice dropped, "Wen, what's going on?"

"Vince dumped me, what do you think happened?" Wendy leaned against the threshold of her house, still refusing to let them inside, "don't bother faking the surprise, you all knew already. I know you knew-"

"Vince dumped- What!?" Bella cut her off, confused, "no, he didn't, he wouldn't-"

Luke cringed at Bella's denial, catching Wendy's bloodshot gaze. Clearly she had been going through the ringer and all by herself. He was familiar with that feeling, specially when it was a direct consequence of loving Vince, which felt very unfair to even think of his best friend... but was also the truth.

"So apparently my boyfriend, forgive me, my ex-boyfriend wants to move back with mom and dad," Wendy's voice was terribly cold, "and he gave me a super sweet ultimatum at Christmas. Move with him or get dumped."

"That doesn't- What the fuck, Wendy?" Bella recovered from her denial, "are you okay? Why didn't you say anything, Wen?" she stepped closer, all well meaning and Lucas stuffed his hands on his pockets, standing across the hall as he correctly predicted Wendy jumping back and out of Bell's hug.

"You knew," Wendy's voice was dripping venom, "so spare me the sentimentality-"

"Knew? I didn't know-" Bella shook her head, misinterpreting Wendy's words, confused.

"You absolutely knew!" Wendy exclaimed, "you knew, because you-" she pointed at Luke, who flinched as he caught her bloodshot, heartbroken eyes, "you knew. Of course he told you, he tells you everything. And Jonah knew and Leo fucking knew- Do you have any idea how utterly humiliating was to find out Vince was ready to leave me, while I was in his parents house, and that everyone knew but me? Everyone, every single one of my friends and you guys still let me-"

"Wendy, I didn't-" Bella shook her head, frantically, "I didn't know that. I knew- I knew what Luke told me, that Vince was thinking of moving, that's all. I swear, that's all we knew and that-"

"You could have told me," Wendy scoffed, her voice wavering and breaking, "you should have told me."

"I swear I didn't know," Bella's voice got all squeezy, trying to push past the lump in her throat, "I swear, Wen, I didn't- I didn't think he'd-"

"Dump me?" Wendy said sourly, "well, he did."

There was a second of heavy silence, Wendy's chest heaving as she panted for air as if she had just ran a marathon and Bella too stunned to say anything...

"Come here," Bella scoffed, stepping closer and fighting Wendy off when the shorter girl tried to push her away, "stop, stop- Stop fighting me, let me fucking hug you!"

"I don't want a fucking hug-" Wendy's voice came out muffled, as she was fully wrapped into Bell's arms... And then the sobs followed. Big, horrible sobs as she melted into the hug and wrapped her arms around the ginger's waist, "I just- I just can't believe he'd-"

"Shhhh..." Bella squeezed her a little tighter, gesturing over her shoulder for Luke to leave. While this was an emergency, it wasn't the type of issue he could be any help on.

She didn't wait to see if her husband had gotten the memo or not, pulling them inside the room and shutting the door behind them, rubbing Wendy's back up and down as the sobs continued to wreck her.

The place was a mess, like a tornado had gone through it. Bella could easily tell Wendy had spent the previous days curled up in the couch and sobbing, the bottles of wine and the bunch of tissuesthat never made it to the overly full trashcan evidence enough.

They fell sat on it and Wendy didn't let go. For all the anger and attitude she was sporting a minute earlier, the sadness was twice as big.

"I just... I don't get it," Wendy whispered, after a handful of minutes had passed. She was curled up on Bell's side, still shaking with silent sobs, "we are- We were happy. Hell, I was so sure he was going to move in with me and then-" she sniffled, wiping angrily at a new batch of tears, "I feel like an idiot."

"You're not an idiot," Bella squeezed her arm, combing her fingers through Wendy's greasy hair, "you're not crazy either. I thought it too, everyone did, that's why- That's why I didn't tell you, Wen. Yeah, I should have, but it was Vin's business and I didn't think, even for a second, he was going to break your heart, otherwise I'd have said something."

"Would you?" Wendy looked up, all pitiful and green eyes welled up with tears, "I don't... I kept thinking of the fact you knew and Jon knew and none of you- I thought I was - I am so. lonely."

"Please don't say that," Bella's voice broke and she moved on the couch, cupping Wendy's face, "hey, look at me. You're not alone, okay? You're not- Don't say that. You have us, you have me- I'm sorry I didn't-"

Wendy nodded, holding a hand in front of her mouth as new tears sprung up and shaking her head as if to shut up her friend. She grabbed a tissue, blowing her nose - which was red and irritated from doing it so many times - and hugged her knees, curling up on a tiny ball.

"He didn't... He didn't break up with me," she said in a little voice, refusing to look at Bella, "well, he did. But he didn't."

Bella frowned, scooting even closer and planting a hand on Wendy's back, "what do you mean?"

"Well, he hid it from me, for starters. And lied, because I asked - Fuck, I asked so many times if something was wrong in the past weeks, when he was looking terrible," Wendy let out a bitter chuckle, deepening her voice to mimic Vin, "no, honey, it's just stress over graduating," she scoffed, "and then he didn't even have the decency of telling me. I had to find it out- He asked me to move there with him."

Bell reeled back, confused, "I don't understand... Then why-"

"He was so fucking- As if I was going to set foot in a fucking conservative town, with a worse residency than the one I have here, just to follow him? As if I haven't spent the last ten years of my life building a life for myself that doesn't make me wanna jump of a bridge?" Wendy shook her head, picking angrily at her nails, "for a man?"

"A man you love," Bella pointed out gently and Wendy glared at her, continuing to pick at her cuticles, some of her fingers already bloodied by all the picking.

"Doesn't matter," she shook her head vehemently, "I'm not moving to some hellscape little town for a guy who doesn't even- Who doesn't even love me," the last part was said in a small strangled tone and Wendy buried her face in her arms, wrapped around her knees, shoulders shaking as she started to cry again.

"Wen, baby, I don't think-" Bella pulled her into a one sided hug, "I know he was an idiot, I know, and you're right he hid things and lied, but I don't think he doesn't love you, Wendy. Vince lights up when you're around-"

"Shut up," Wendy's sobbed, "please stop."

Bella snapped her mouth shut, rubbing her friend's back and trying to figure what to do. She didn't think, even for a second that Vince didn't love Wendy. Clearly he was an idiot, but she had seen the way he looked at the other woman, as if she had invented the lamp. Those dumb, boyish smiles that only a man who's head over heels can produce.

However, Wendy wasn't dumb and Bell had no delusion that she was. If she didn't want to hear it, then she didn't want to hear it.

"What do you need?" Bella pressed a kiss to her friend's head, squeezing her closer, "talk with me, Wen."

"I need-" Wendy sniffled, voice thick with tears, "I need you to have my back and not let me ruin my life because I'm in love with him- I need you to be on my corner, because- Because I'm really not and it's breaking my heart to try and be-be mature and ra-rational... I need you to tell me I'm doing the right thing, Bella, because if I give in I'm going to be unhappy, but that's all I wanna do right now."

Finally making some sense of the situation, Bella nodded, pulling Wendy into a tight hug, "hey," she cupped Wendy's face, "if it's meant to be, it's going to be, okay? I'm not gonna let you ruin your life."

Wendy nodded, whole face scrunching up as she fought a sob and threw herself on Bella, "it really feels like I am, right now."

[tomatoswup]

Cheer up!📣

summary: A cheerleading injury sure does hurt, and theres no one to cover you! Oh dear who else could help you in these daring times!

warnings/tags: cheerleader!reader,,,sharp shooter! Vash,,, injury,,,,University!AU/Modern!AU,,,,kinda suggestive? ur bf vash just looks good bestie,, self-concious vash,,, reader drags wolfwood with them b/c they made him drive,, Cheerleading at a football game,,,possessive vash(barely),,cheerleading outfit Vash :P,,,vash x reader,,,

⋆｡°✩inspir. from robin william's performance with the cheerleaders of the broncos

A/N: sorry for not putting anything up, it was a bit of a busy week and i needed some time away from looking at a screen for so long hehehe,,,here's another lil thingy i wanted to write when it popped up on my feed and by write i mean really wanted to write Enjoy!

p.s: i also opened a ko-fi if anyone wanted to donate a coffee!☕️

✨i’m also back on working on requests sorry for the late delays for those who sent one in! I will be working on them and trying to get them out as fast as I can!

The hard steps of heeled shoes on clean cut grass, the twirls of bodies and hips, and the glittering shine of outfits under the heat of the blistering sun.

Did you never get enough of it? No you didn't, maybe it was the charm to it!

...Okay definitely not the heat but the rush of the performance? Pretty fun!

Cheerleading was no easy feat especially if you get hurt during it.

And you were well known for not having the best luck.

"Coach please, I really need to perform, the routine isn't gonna look right if I'm not there-" You pleaded, limping behind your coach Roberto as he slowly walked to the sidelines.

A normal day of practice had quickly turned upside down when you accidentally tripped over your feet in the middle of the routine, bending your ankle in an odd way that you did not want to look at.

With a clipboard in his hands, the music continued to blast through the air as the rest of your teammates practiced just a bit away on the field. "As much as you wanna protest about it, I'm not putting you in. You hurt? Take a break." He rasped out.

Shit.

You watched as the realization grew on his face until he put a hand up to rub the bridge of his nose with a sigh "Now who the hell am I gonna find to take your place. No one in this damned place knows any of these moves besides you guys..."

You put a hand over your eyes in attempted to stop getting blinded from the sun, momentarily looking back at your team. The upcoming performance was against a pretty much bigger university and you knew ya'll couldn't let everyone down.

Who else could take your spot-

And it were if a lightbulb went off on top of your head, you gasped out at the memory. Maybe there was one person.

Out of all the times you've been unsure if you were doing a routine right, those insecure times in need of help, you've always gone to one person with a bit of a sharp eye.

"I think I know someone..."

///

Vash liked to help people.

Well, it wasn’t a like really but more of a love. Sometimes he found himself trying to do the best he could for those who he loved and cherished even though he doesn't really know if he could.

A bit of a fault in the Saverem's head.

But he never really thought he would've been presented with something like this.

"Uh, I don't know about this... I don't think I'll pull it off."

"I think you'll look great Vash! Honestly, I really wouldn't know how to repay you if you did!" You cheekily smiled at your boyfriend, both of his hands clasped in your own as the both of you sat on your dorm room bed.

Really? He couldn't help but nervously laugh "I don't know if these-" You let go of his hands as he reached over and held up the garments that you had laid out next to you, the tips of his ears turning red from the thoughts. You wore this?

Thighs out, a cut top that showed more than he would've liked to the public, jeez Vash wanted to just wrap you in a blanket and hold you down until everything was over!

You definitely pulled this off but him?

"-Will fit me."

"Don't worry about it Vash, they’re stretchy!" You reassured him.

But you still saw the look uncertainty on him, his mouth tilted in a small pout and an eyebrow raised upwards, making you exhale and give him a soft smile.

"You don't have to do this for me ya’ know? Seriously, I can always perform next season, I mean this sprained ankle isn’t gonna heal quick so maybe I should listen to Roberto about this. “

“No.” Vash abruply cut you off, taking you aback when he turned the other way, hiding his face away from you.

Shit, did you bother him? This was a big favor after all, you couldn't blame him for saying no. You would've said it yourself if you had been asked too.

'Maybe it's too much for him...' You thought, before putting a hand up to put on his shoulder.

“Actually Vash, maybe I'll just rest. I can always tell Roberto change the routine or something! I know you have your shooting competition soon-“

Hearing Vash mumble under his breath, you leaned in closer, not having caught what he said. "What did you say?"

“...I didn’t say I wasn’t gonna do it. I'm worried if the outfit looks bad on me.” He spoke up before turning back to you, giving you a cheeky smile before setting a quick kiss on the tip of your nose.

"But I really don't think the shoes are gonna fit.."

And before you knew it, two weeks had passed and you watched on from the large bleachers at the field below as the fans roared all around the arena before the start of the game.

"So Vash did this willingly?" Vash's roommate Wolfwood flatly asked, leaning back lazily in his seat as you fixed the red jacket on your shoulders belonging to the spiked hair blonde.

"Yeah, he did."

Wolfwood crossed his arms, staring out towards the field as the countdown began ticking to its final seconds in a moments thought "Hope you taught him well."

You leaned to the side towards Wolfwood "I swear I'll pay for your gas Wolfwood."

"I don't think you understand, I had to really drive your ass all the way over here instead of indulging in my beauty sleep." He put a offended hand to his chest.

Did he really think you could've drove there with a swollen ankle?

"...I won't tell Milly you took her welcome lollipops from the entry way the last time you visited."

Wolfwood's head snapped to you, shooting you a glaring squint under his black sunglasses whilst earning a mischievous thumbs-up from yourself.

It was only a few seconds before he swiped his hand out and slapped the side of your knee "Just watch your damn boyfriend already."

Thank you for your patronage~

And when the buzzer rang, you really couldn't hear shit but the screams of football fans as the music began, and that infamous intro you've trained to for the last few weeks boomed out.

God, you kinda hoped he didn't second guess himself, as much as he was clumsy at moments, throughout all the time you've gotten to know him his memory did not fail him one bit.

Just breathe and go with the flow.

Thats what you told him the night before when he left back to his room, having practiced one more time with you.

You hoped he took it what you said to heart.

"Look! The cheerleaders are coming out!" A small girl that had been sitting behind you exclaimed with a pointing finger.

And out ran your team from the break hallway and into the field and in line. One by one, you quickly scanned the running line of cheerleaders crossing the field until you spotted the very out of place tall blonde.

Gotcha cutie!

Running out and following the line leader, Vash's white gloved hand waved towards the crowd as everyone screamed out, both in anticipation and surprise.

"WHO IS THAT?!"

"That's the uni's #1 sharp shooter! Vash The Stampede!"

"What is he doing there!?"

"Maybe he's promoting his team?"

Or maybe you should've gotten some binoculars because why was your boyfriend putting that outfit to work? Sure he was fit and all but damn.

A short white cropped top that ended at his waist with decorative diamond lining and a matching skirt and white heeled boots, the white shiny outfit was one reminiscing a more western look this performance and honestly you weren't mad... How did you never notice your boyfriend had hips?

Nope, not mad at all..

"GO VASH GO!" You screamed at the top of your lungs as the cheerleaders got in place. Picking up the pom-poms from the ground, with one hand on the hip and the other thrown up into the air, you watched as he was the last to put his hand up.

"LET'S GO!"

And with one hip sway, did the Vash slay.

[redroomreflections]

Out of Office

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: R gets a special surprise to her office

The Loud House Universe (this is not an au of the au. This is real life =))

W/c:3.8k

Play this when you read it https://open.spotify.com/track/4isk4UYRcmslphcTq61xUg?si=1vKGqQ_uQ2-Go9CEdnRq_g

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI

One of the perks of being the Assistant District Attorney of New York City is having your own corner office. The large windows offer a stunning looking of the bustling skyline of New York City. Of course the perks go beyond just the offices. There’s the satisfaction of tackling high-profile cases, the thrill of courtroom victories, and the respect that comes with the title. Today, you’re enjoying one of those benefits that’s seeming to be more like a con.

This meeting was boring to say the least. The topic had been on a rise of criminal activity in the area and how to prevent it. Normally, you would have been all ears. However, this meeting was anything but normal. It was the first meeting after the holidays and your coworkers were still in the post-Christmas mood.

The usual professional atmosphere was gone.

You sit in a chair across from the head of the long table, listening as best you can to the discussion.

"How about we continue this tomorrow?" Alex Cabot, your DA and overhead suggested. "Y/n? Any objection to that?"

You look up in surprise, wondering if you had missed something.

"No, not at all."

Alex smiles at you and then at the other two women.

"I think that's a good idea." You agree. "I'll get back to you with my thoughts on the Coleman case."

The three other women begin packing up their bags and heading out.

"Thanks for the meeting." You say as you get up and gather your things. "It was very informative."

Alex chuckles, clearly seeing right through your fib. "You used to be a much better liar than that."

"I'm just trying to be polite." You smile. "After all, we are in a room full of lawyers."

Alex laughs. "That we are. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow."

You leave the room, feeling like you could breathe again. You head to your office and stop by your assistant's desk in order to check mail and messages. The meeting was supposed to be thirty minutes and lasted more than an hour. You were more than tired. You were ready for the day to be over.

"Hey Y/n, a message came in for you earlier." Your assistant, Haley says. "You still need to review the police report for Jones and Jones. Also, an interview with Cass Daniels."

You sigh and look down at the file you're holding.

"Great, I'm swamped. Is the file with the Jones's case available?"

Haley nods and hands you a brown folder.

"Anything else I can help with?"

You shake your head and smile. "Unfortunately, not this time around."

"Hey, y/l/n, “ Your colleague Doug Stone greets. He does a little jog over to the desk.

"Hi, Doug, " You return. "Just the man I was looking for."

He looks confused. "Really?"

You hand him the file. "I just spoke with Alex. She says she wants you to handle the Jones case."

"But what about the-"

"I already reviewed it and made notes." You interrupt. "Just make sure to check out the new witnesses and that'll be it."

"Okay, so no problem." Doug nods, looking unsure. "Anything else I can do?"

You smile and shake your head. "Actually," You smirk. Just to get under his skin.

"Oh no," Doug shakes his head.

"I need you to get me a copy of the police report." You finish.

"You have one."

You shrug. "I think it would be a good idea to double check."

Doug rolls his eyes. "You know I came over here to see if you could ask the misses to go ahead and make some of that special eggnog she made over the holidays. Special order just for me."

You move to rebuttal when you hear a familiar husky voice behind you. You turn to see your wife standing there with that familiar smirk on her face. Natasha stepped further into the floor, her presence commanding attention. She had chosen a slightly floral midi dress that hugged her curves, the soft fabric contrasting with her typical demeanor. With her red hair pulled back and her eyes sharp and observant, she exuded a mix of elegance and strength.

"You can ask me yourself," Natasha grinned. She stepped closer to you and wrapped her arm around your waist. You landed a quick kiss to her head before looking over at Haley with questioning eyes. She's supposed to remind you if something important like your wife visiting.

"Sorry," She apologizes, quickly. "I was just about to tell you."

"It's okay, Haley," You wave off, smiling. "What brings you by, baby?"

"Can a girl come visit her wife in her office? I'm sure Tammy comes to see you all the time right, Doug?" Natasha tilts her head.

"Uhh..um, yes," Doug stumbles over his words.

Natasha gives him a smile. "Good." She looks up at you. "So, how's your day, babe? I didn't catch you at a bad time, did I?"

"Not at all," You answer.

"Actually, y/l/n has some errands to run," Doug cuts in.

"And Doug has a case to take over," You reply. Natasha looks suspiciously between the two of you.

"We're not going to have a problem, are we?" She asks.

"Of course not." Doug assures.

Natasha nods and smiles. "I'd hate to have to break up this lover's quarrel you two are having. But I would like to spend some time with you before your lunch is over." By the look in her eyes, you know exactly why she's come to your office so unexpectedly.

"Not a problem," You nod.

"I'm free for the rest of the day," Doug says. You send him a glare. "I'll just get a start on those files." He adds before making himself scarce. 

You give him a thumbs up. "Perfect. Haley, cancel my meetings for the next hour."

"Sure thing,"

You take Natasha's hand and lead her down the hallway towards your office.

"I love it when you get bossy," Natasha whispers, biting her lip. You feel the blush creeping up your neck.

"That was nothing," You wave off. You walk before her into the office to clear up a few things on the couch. The last thing she needs is to see how messy you are at work. "Where's Luke and Paige?"

"I left them with my mom today," She says disinterestedly.

"Oh, that's cool then," You nod.

"Now do you want to hear about Luke's diapering schedule, or should we talk about other things?" She steps over to you. It's then you notice the heels she's wearing. Those sexy Manolo Blahnik pumps in a deep blue that accentuates all of her curves.

"I think I want to talk about whatever you want to talk about," You answer honestly. You place your hands on her hips and pull her close. She giggles, placing her hands on your chest.

"Good," She leans in for a quick peck. "You're in a good mood today."

"That's because you're here." You hum. "You taste good."

"Lemon and ginger," She smiles.

"That's what it was. You taste delicious." You lean in again and capture her lips in a deeper kiss. Your tongue glides over her lips, coaxing them open. "Mm, I think you should surprise me in the office every day."

"If only I could." Natasha sighs. "Your coworkers would get tired of me or become jealous of you."

"I don't care." You whisper against her lips. "I only care about what's happening right now."

"Oh, is that so?" Natasha bites her lip.

You nod and reach around, smacking her ass. "That's what you're here for right? You couldn't wait for me to come home?"

"Something like that." She grins. She leans forward to kiss you again. This time as a distraction while she unbuttons your silk button down with her nimble fingers. Her lips are soft and warm against yours.

You pull away from the kiss and smirk. "We can't have sex in the office."

"That's a first." Natasha chuckles. "Why not?"

"I don't know if I'll want to stop after one round," You sigh when her hands find bare skin underneath your shirt.

"Hmm, we'll have to be quick then." Natasha murmurs, pressing her lips to your neck.

"I don't know," You groan when her teeth scrape across your pulse point. "You're quite loud."

"I guess you'll just have to keep me quiet," Natasha bites down on your neck. You let out a whimper, your body shivering.

"Damn it, Tasha," You growl.

She pulls back and flashes you a wide grin. "Do you think you can keep me quiet?"

"I don't know if I want you to be quiet," You open your eyes.

"Oh, is that so?" Natasha grins. She pulls your shirt down off of your shoulder, revealing your lacey black bra. She moves to do the same to the other side.

"Natasha," You warn.

"I'm just looking," She says as her eyes roam over your torso. "Admiring."

"Yeah, admiring is going to get us in trouble," You shake your head.

"Fine, fine," She steps back, taking her warmth and heat with her.

"Are you pouting?"

"I am," Natasha lowers her hands onto her hips. "You're denying me what I want."

"Come here," You offer a hand. She takes it and you lead her over to the couch. You sit down and pull her onto your lap. She settles her knees on either side of your hips and rests her hands on your shoulders. You begin rubbing her thighs, smoothing your hands across the smooth nylon of her leggings before you rip them. The sound drowning out the harsh breaths both of you are taking. You're so glad this office is at the corner and also doesn't have glass windows. Of course, she always gets what she wants.

"I thought you said we can't have sex."

"We're not," You murmur, your eyes focusing on the swell of her breast. "But we can do other things."

"Other things," Natasha nods. "Like what?"

"Just sit there and let me touch you," You say, pulling her down for a kiss. "You don't have any objection to that, do you?"

"None," Natasha says softly, her breath fanning over your lips. At the first press of your thumb against damp panties, Natasha lets out the sharpest squeak deep from the back of her throat.

"Told you that you would be loud."

"Shut up." She moans, her hips canting forward, chasing the contact. You give her another rub through the soaked material, her wetness seeping through. "Are you going to tease me?"

"Yes," You answer simply, kissing the exposed skin of her chest.

"Fuck, baby." Natasha groans.

"Shhh," You tsk, "Be a good girl and stay quiet for me."

"I want you inside," Natasha lowers her head to look you in your eyes. She reaches behind her back to unzip herself. She lifts her dress over her head and drops it onto the floor. She leans back over you and presses her chest to yours.

"I have a feeling this isn't going to end well." You groan, your eyes focused on her soft and supple breasts.

"I don't think we're going to get caught."

"Maybe." You murmur.

"Y/n, are you listening?"

"Huh?" You snap out of your daze. It's then you feel another wave of arousal as she releases her hair from its ponytail. She leans back on her hands and gives you a smug smile.

"Are you listening, Mrs. Romanoff?"

"I'm listening," You swallow thickly. You can't help but take her in.

"So, how about it?"

You look at her confused. "How about what?"

"I knew you weren't listening," Natasha laughs.

"I was thinking about how gorgeous you are," You admit. "How sexy you are. All the things I want to do to you."

"Oh yeah?" She grins. "Like what?"

"Well," You start, running a finger across her cheek. "First, I would have you sit there and watch as I undress."

"I'm interested," She looks you over. You should probably take those pants off unless you want them to be ruined with her juices. Not that you would mind it that much.

"I would go slowly. I would leave on my heels and my bra."

"Your bra?" She arches a brow. "No, take off your bra."

"Are you going to be difficult, or can I finish?"

"I'm sorry, continue," She waves a hand.

"Anyway, I would leave my heels and bra on. Then I would lay back on the couch and spread my legs for you. I'd want you to use your mouth and fingers."

"Mmm," Natasha hums.

"I'd have you fuck me with your fingers until I came all over them." You whisper, tracing her lips. "Then I would do the same to you. Just how you like it."

"How many times would you make me come?"

"Until you can't take it anymore." You answer. "Then I would clean you up with my mouth. Would you like that?"

"Fuck, yes," Natasha moans, her hips bucking against yours.

"Are you turned on, Tasha?"

"I'm beyond that," She admits. "I've been thinking about this since this morning."

"Yeah? You couldn't wait to have my hands on you."

"No," She whines.

You tap her thighs, instructing her to lift up so that you can strip yourself of your clothes. You rush over to the office door, locking it to ensure you won't be disturbed.

"What are you doing?" Natasha calls.

"Just making sure no one comes in and sees you like this," You explain, stepping back over to her. "They can't see what's mine."

"Would you let them watch?" She dares to ask.

"No," You growl, pulling her into your arms.

"And here I thought the idea would turn you on." She teases, trailing a finger along your collarbone.

"It does," You answer truthfully.

"But," She raises her brow.

"It turns me on to know that they can't have you," You admit. "Only I can touch you and see you."

"Touching has been minimal," She raises a perfectly arched brow.

"You're right," You smirk.

"How about we fix that," She whispers.

You nod and sit back down, taking her with you. You help to slide her panties off, tossing them to the side, before you get an idea. You pull her over to your desk, her eyes following yours quizzically before you bend her over. Your hands rub against the expanse of her back. You can't take your eyes off her perked-up ass and pussy on display for you.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting an idea."

"For?"

"This," You say, sliding a finger inside of her. Her walls tighten around the intrusion, and you let out a low moan.

Natasha's back arches and she hisses. You know it's not a sound of pain but pleasure. She wasn't expecting you to do it but she for damn sure loves it.

"I knew you'd be turned on by this," You tell her. You pump your finger a few more times before adding another.

"I am," Natasha agrees.

"Is this what you want, Tasha?” You slap her ass. "For me to fuck you like this. Have you dripping all over my desk?"

"Y/n," Natasha groans. "Stop teasing and give me what I want."

"What do you want, Natasha?" You question, curling your fingers. Twisting them as you thrust back into her.

"I want you to make me come."

"Not yet." You tell her. "I want to hear you."

"Baby," She whines, her hips rocking against the desk.

"What is it?"

"You're driving me crazy." She pants. "You have no idea what this is doing to me."

"I have some idea," You say cheekily as you watch your fingers, glistening with her slick, slide in and out of her with ease.

"Stop teasing and fuck me," She hisses.

"You want me to fuck you?"

"Please, y/n." She moans. "I'm so wet for you."

"I know," You hum. You push her legs open a bit wider. "Stay still for me."

"Fuck," She whimpers.

You lean over and pepper her back with kisses. Her skin is so warm and soft. You wish you could take your time, but you're both already on borrowed time. You speed up then, using your hips to add the slightest bit of force behind your thrusts. You know she likes it, her body shivering beneath you.

"That's it," She coos.

You place a hand on her back and move your thumb to her clit. You begin rubbing it in slow, circular motions. Natasha turns her head against the cool surface of the desk, her nipples becoming hard pebbles against the wood.

"I love seeing you like this," You whisper. "Taking everything I have to give."

Natasha's only response is a deep whimper. Not good enough for you.

"You love taking my fingers," You taunt. "But not as much as I love giving them to you."

"Shit, y/n, fuck." Natasha's body begins trembling. Her breathing becomes uneven. Her pussy walls fluttering against your fingers.

"Are you going to come, Tasha?"

"Yes, fuck." She cries. "Make me come, baby."

"Fuck, I love it when you call me that." You groan. You add a third finger, pumping faster. Her body quakes as you hit the right spot. Her toes curl as her orgasm tears through her body. Her moans are unbridled now, and you reach forward to press a hand against her mouth. That seems to turn her on more. Her body shaking beneath yours. Her body jerking from the aftershocks.

"Are you okay, baby?"

"I'm better than okay," She grins. "But if you don't fuck me again in the next five minutes, I'm leaving."

"Turn around," You instruct her. You help her on shaky legs to turn around and sit on your desk. This is going to be a bit more difficult to maneuver but you do. You drop to your knees and grab her thighs to pull her to the edge of the desk.

"I've need to taste you all day," You murmur to yourself.

"Baby," Natasha whimpers, her fingers resting atop your head. "I need you."

"You have me," You reply before swiping your tongue through her folds. She's so warm and delicious.

"Don't tease," She gasps, her legs trembling.

You look up at her from your place between her legs. Your eyes never leave hers as you wrap your lips around her clit, sucking.

"Just like that," She adds the gentlest bit of pressure for you to bob your head. The slurping noises for added effect have her head dropping down she can't handle it. "So close, baby. Don't stop."

"Never," You murmur against her. "I love this. Love eating you out."

"Y/n," She gasps, her hips lifting off the desk.

"Come for me, Natasha," You coax her.

She's so close to the edge, and she can't help it. She's helpless against the orgasm that rips through her body. She can barely hold herself up as you suck her through the orgasm, lapping up the juices spilling from her.

"Fuck," She whimpers.

You stand and kiss her, your tongue tangling with hers.

"Let me," She finally pulls back. She pulls you down to the floor before she pushes you onto your back. Rug burn be damned.

"Tasha," You gasp when she wastes no time in slipping two fingers inside of you.

"You're so wet," She groans. "I love you." She nuzzles your neck.

"I love you too." You murmur, reaching down to guide her thumb to your clit. "Harder."

Natasha's body covers yours. Her lips latch onto your neck. Her teeth scrape along the flesh. You know you're going to have a hickey there tomorrow. It doesn't matter. You're hers and she's yours.

"Tasha," You groan. "Please."

"Shh," She whispers, her other hand caressing your breast. She pinches your nipple, delighting in the shiver that runs through your body.

"Please," You beg her. "Make me come."

"Anything for you," Natasha smirks, curling her fingers. She thrusts harder. Faster.

"Fuck, I'm going to come." You warn her, your body tensing.

"I've got you," Natasha tells you. "I've got you, baby." She coos as you whimper pitifully.

"Don't stop," You beg. "Oh my god, don't stop."

"Never," She growls. "Come for me, y/n. I want you to soak my hand."

You cry out as you reach your peak. Your back arches off the carpet, and you ram yourself onto her fingers. You don't want to lose this feeling.

"Fuck, I can't," You sob.

"You can," She whispers, her breath fanning across your lips. "One more. Come on, baby."

"I can't," You sob. "Tasha, please."

"I've got you," Natasha promises.

Your body begins shaking as a second orgasm rips through your body. You're unable to form words as you're consumed by your desire. You don't even remember that you're at work and the possibility that if anyone were to come by your office, they could probably hear you.

"There you go," Natasha smiles, her eyes focused on you. "I'm right here, baby."

"Tasha," You whimper.

"Right here."

"Don't move," You pant.

Natasha uses her unoccupied hand to open the bottom drawer of your desk and take out a towel.

"What are you doing?" You ask her.

"I'm going to clean you up," She says, gently wiping your inner thighs.

"Thank you," You whisper.

"Always," She smiles.

"You're so good to me."

"You're pretty good to me," She winks, kissing the top of your head.

"What time is it?"

"Time for us to get the hell out of here." Natasha laughs.

"You're right," You sigh. "Can we go home?"

"I was thinking maybe we could order a pizza, put on a movie, and have dessert later."

"I think I could deal with that." You nod. "I can't walk just yet."

"I'll carry you," Natasha teases with a smug look. 

"Shut up," You laugh, swatting her away. "You know you're a little cocky after we fuck."

"And you're cute."

"Stop," You groan.

"I don't want to," Natasha replies.

"What do you want?"

"You," She answers. "Always."

"I'll be yours forever."

"Forever," She repeats.

"We should go," You whisper.

"I'm ready when you are."

"Let's get out of here."

Coming out of the office would be a little awkward. You should probably open a window. Your cheeks heat up at the thought. It was some of the hottest sex you had with her, and you can't believe that it happened here.

"You look nervous," Natasha notes.

"I'm not," You say.

"Liar."

"Tasha, come on. Let's go home."

"Whatever you say," She grins, taking your hand in hers.

"You're annoying," You mutter.

"And yet, you still love me."

"Unfortunately," You grin.

"I heard that," She calls.

"I meant for you to hear it."

"Brat," She says affectionately.

You really do love her.

[i-dont-even-care335]

I wish the books (and fans) didn't make William Afton such a horrible father.

The books came out in 2020 and are continuously produced. The games I am referring too such as "Sister location" and "Fnaf 4" came out in 2016 and 2015, I mention this because I'm explaining I'm discluding the books in my arguments, as they aren't relevant to the games as they are confirmed to be their own universe and not canon to game lore.

I mean, yeah, you could argue he was quite neglectful, but how do we know he wasn't a single father in the duration of the games (specifically the flashback scenes of Sister location and Fnaf 4). In Fnaf 4, he'd take his kids to work with him when he could so he he could watch over them and do his job as the manager of the diner, because I doubt you have much time when it's just you and one other person managing a diner. As we were shown during many of the scenes where Evan and the older brother (persumed Michael Afton) would be inside the diner. There was even a scene where a man (presumably William Afton) was getting inside a spring Bonnie suit. So we can infer that he would watch over them when he could.

In the sister location flashback scenes, we could obviously tell he cared for his kids at, like, were it implied he made circus baby for Elizabeth and were he told her to never see Circus Baby alone, knowing what would happen to her if she did. Or how in the final scene of Fnaf 4 where the crying child is dying in the hospital and William Tells C.C. "You're broken...I'm still here. I will put you back together." It is confirmed by the Fnaf ultimate guide that Willaim (or C.Cs father, we can all infer is William) was watching over C.C using Fredbear because in the Sister location Private room, we see that there is a camera directly in C.Cs room, which is also the reason that Frebears eyes follow C.C around anywhere he goes and why wherever C.C is, Fredbear is.

I honestly have no idea where the idea of William physically hurting his kids (specifically Michael) came from (I saw someone say it came from the books, specifically The fourth closet, which I have not read yet, so I am unsure if that is true) as the games never give us much information of their relationship. I assume that the reason Springtrap (aka William) attacks Michael in Fnaf 3 and Pizzaria simulator, is because he was unaware it was his son, as at these moments of time Michael would be way older and also, a dead decomposing corpse. Again, we really don't have a lot of information on the two's relationship, so this is a difficult argument to make, but I would like to assume they had a decent relationship since Michael in the beginning was putting Elizabeth and the others back together, as William had asked, which seems like an effort only people fond of each other would got through, then Michael says "... I'm going to come find you. I'm going to come find you,". Then, I assume that his view on William changes after he runs into Henry and learns the truth. Because, how do we know he knew the truth about the missing kids before pizzareia sim? It seems like he was only taking up the jobs to find Circus Baby and Springtrap.

I bring this all up because of the new lore drop that Fnaf 4 was an experiment done by William Afton on his own kids. Which to me seemed out of nowhere and slightly out of character because William was killing those kids for remnant, but I don't see a reason why he'd do things like that to his own kids. I feel like this lore drop is an attempt to bring back Willaims relevancy since Secruity Breach and to make him look even more like a villain.

If I got anything mixed up or wrong, sorry, it's been a while since I refreshed my memory on Fnaf, and I'll edit anything that is off.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey it's high-fructose-jay-syrup again. I sent the original question off anon because it's not something I'd feel particularly awkward about anyone connecting to me, but then sent the followup ask on anon because I figured the ask not having gone through had something to do with me sending it off anon lmao (which apparently it did, since you did get the anon ask)

anyhoo. wondering if you have any insight on the line between masochism and self harm? I am realizing that a lot of my prior exploration of that area of kink had more to do with a desire to Feel Something than pure enjoyment of pain (which often resulted in me continuing despite being unsure about my comforts) and I think most of it was not a good idea to be doing and may even have been somewhat traumatizing. so now I'm understandably pretty wary about exploring that field again (I mean I'm wary of sex in general thanks to Trauma TM but yk, someday when that's no longer the case), and wondering if you have any thoughts on how to tell the difference between something that involves pain but is completely safe and enjoyable, and something that is actively damaging and needs to stop, *especially* given the phenomenon of sub drop.

thanke! happy late birthday!

hi not-anon,

this is a very interesting question, and I'm afraid it's not one that I'll be able to offer a very solid answer on. the line between masochism and self-harm that you're seeking is a thin and wavering one, and exactly where it lands varies heavily depending on the individual. there's a pretty excellent book called Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose that I thought of immediately while reading your question; in it, author Leigh Cowart examines their own experiences with ballet, eating disorders, and kink as well as people who partake in pain-seeking activities like eating record-setting amounts of painfully hot peppers, taking part in body-breaking ultramarathons, and flinging themselves into frigid waters on purpose. I think it's very notable that many of the people they talk to discuss former addictions that were much more actively detrimental to their quality of life than their current pain fix; sometimes it's not a matter of "I'm not hurting myself at all," but "hurting myself eating peppers will fuck me up a lot less than hurting myself with alcohol."

if you think about it there are dozens of activities that can simultaneously get a brain pumping dopamine and set off our pain receptions. pulling from just two of my own experiences, I love the pain of a needle when getting a new tattoo, and I love how wrecked my body feels after a couple hours of bouldering - and yes, both of those come with a drop afterwards! does that mean they qualify as self-harm? I don't think so, no, but I can also easily see how either could slip into that, if I were to start pushing my body regularly beyond the threshold of acceptable pain into something more than I can comfortable handle. the problem is that, as I said, that line isn't universal, and sometimes the only way to find out for sure is to push a little too far and see what happens.

it's also worth pointing out that, in terms of sexual masochism specifically, the idea of anything being "completely safe" is a discouraged by a lot of people within the community. this is a large part of RACK, or risk-aware consensual kink; substituting the "safe" in "safe, sane, and consensual" with an acknowledgement that sex involving acts of physical violence, no matter how well-negotiated, cannot ever be 100% perfectly risk free, and that this is a risk that participants must either be willing to accept or not engage with. to my thinking, at least, being risk-aware also means knowing the emotional harm that you would be making yourself vulnerable to by participating, and taking responsibility for that by not seeking out potentially harmful situations.

(safe, sane, and consensual has been reevaluated and contested in other ways in recent years; I wrote more about that and its history here for the curious.)

it seems clear that you're aware of which side of that line you've fallen on in the past, and I'm glad it's something you've been able to recognize and change your behavior around, as it sounds like avoiding SM situations entirely is great for you right now. I don't know if you're on a break from sex altogether, but if you are feeling wary about it, then it certainly couldn't hurt. it bears mentioning that even the most vanilla sex on earth can be (and often is) a form of self harm as much as kinky sex; as always, the thing that matters in the context and the experience of the individual involved.

in regards to any kind of sex, my advice is generally pretty blunt: if you're not sure whether or not something will fuck you up, don't do it. why would you take that risk? there are plenty of spaces in our lives where we have to put up with things that suck, but when it comes to your sex life that shit's completely customizable. skip the things that you're unsure about, focus on what you know works for you, whether that's vanilla sex, kinky sex, or no sex at all.

[secretlywritingstories]

I just remembered the personal blog I used to have. I started writing on it the summer at the end of my first year at university and I stopped posting the autumn I'd handed in my master thesis. It followed me through ups and downs for over five years and looking back at it now feels strange.

It's coming up on the 10 years since I started that blog. I just opened my first post to check it out and immediately noticed a dumb spelling error. And oh, how naive and unsure I was back then. Just 19 years old thinking that I was becoming an adult.

To be fair, I was but I've spent most of the last decade becoming more and more adult and I'm not sure I've reached "proper" adulthood yet. If such a thing ever exist.

But it was a curious thing to see what took up my heart and mind. Lots of university struggles, spending time with my horse, writing and setting myself writing challenges, dealing with anxiousness and stress. Perhaps not all that different from my life now (if you swap job with uni) but somehow, contradictory, also vastly different.

In the five years that the blog has sat abandoned (my old age of 24 sitting in the banner as a marker), I've gone through a lot. As a human I've grown immensely, even if many of my interests and the way I engage with the world is still similar.

My very last blog post was about handing in my thesis and then having to do an oral defence a couple of weeks later. I finished on this: I don't know if I have ever been more scared. It was that anticipation of what my life would look like when I was no longer a student.

I had been a student my whole life, jumping from one form of education to another. Ten years of school. Three years of gymnasium. Six years of university. Almost two decades of being in school in some shape or form and the anticipation of what came after was so scary. I would lose all of my structure and crumble, I could feel it in my bones.

In some ways, I did. But in other ways, I also have been very fortunate. It took me over a year to find a job. I had to go through a pandemic that only made it harder. The isolation was gutting but it also made me find an online community that are now some of my closest friends. I started working a reception job only to be able to move into a department related to my field after ten months.

I've kept past friendships from schools, I still have my horse, I'm close with my family, I daily chat with my online friends and we've been (and will go) on trips to meet up. I've got a good salary, I like my colleagues and boss, and I get to try new exciting things, even if that sometimes scares me. I have written and published almost 100 fics since that last blog post and my writing has only gotten better and better.

My brain still trips me up. I didn't dare dive into some of the more mental health related posts I made at this moment but I think I'll see present me echoed in those too. Even if I've gotten better at dealing with stuff in some ways. I'm going to try to continue to improve on that front.

Five years is a long time but somehow, in the span of a full life, also a short time. For five years, I wrote on that personal blog. It's been five years since I've touched it. One version of me started it and another version finished it, and me looking back on it now is yet another different version.

I don't share like that anymore on the internet, but I do still keep a journal I write in every single day. And well, then there's these "my tumblr dabbles" a way to give myself permission to post tiny parts of me and my thoughts online still. Crack myself open and see what flows out onto the page that I want to share. Thank you for everyone who indulges them.

[museum-spaces]

Hi,

I recently graduated with a BA in archaeology and am thinking of continuing my studies in either museums or archives. I believe you either are Canadian or have worked in Canadian museums (sorry if I'm wrong) and I had a question about college vs university programs when it comes to museum studies. If you can't answer, no worries.

When it comes to employment, what difference does it make between having a college diploma or a master's in museum studies? Are there some jobs you can only get with a master's? Or are opportunities the same? Would both programs teach similar skills? I know the job market in museums and archives is rough and if a master's will get me further that's probably what I'll go with. I also know there's several diploma/certificate programs offered by universities and am unsure of where those would rank in comparison to a college diploma or master's degree.

Another issue is the main masters programs I know of are in BC and Toronto, places that are incredibly expensive to live rn, so if a college program will get me just as far, some of those schools are in cities with lower cost of living.

Thanks!

first of all; you're right I am Canadian and a graduate of a Canadian undergrad program. but my MA is from the UK.

secondly, for non-Canadians; college in Canada has a few meanings. One is very similar to the US - a particular grouping of students in a university. But the more common one is a bit harder to explain. It used to be that 'working' careers were from colleges [i.e. nursing vs. doctor; lumber jack vs. forester, etc] but these days the lines are more blurred. Colleges are seen by some academic fields as 'lesser' than universities but they actually just fill a different need.

thirdly; it depends on the job. For my job [Executive Director] you do not necessarily need a museum/gallery background but imo... you do need that. If your interest is in collections care, a college diploma in specifically collections care is very good - often better than a generalized masters because it shows dedication in that one area. If you are more interested in exhibition same thing - colleges are more likely to have hands-on mounting classes which will make you an asset.

If you want to work front of house - tours, guest interaction, education - university degrees will be seen as better because you are more likely to be academically inclined and things like that. You won't be unable to get a job like that with college, but given our sector, it will be very very hard.

I believe, but you would have to check, that UofT's ISchool has an online or distance Masters for museums you might want to check out. You could also go abroad like I did. University of Leicester [my alma mater] has a very good distance course though the fees for international students might make in-person just as hard. They're entry requirements for Canadians at a 4 point school is a cGPA of 3. Nice and attainable.

Its also worth noting that you do not need to have museum-focused degrees so long as you have work experience. Lets say your UG arch was focused on Coast Salish archaeology, a side focus on public history and volunteer or intern work experience in museums will make you more attractive to the Museum of Anthropology at UBC than my CV which has no native focus at all.

There's a lot of historic workers on Tumblr, I'll tag a few and hope a few others chime in to give you advice.

@grey-and-lavender @archaeologistproblems @chaotic-archaeologist @museeeuuuum