#unstable draco arc

[local-multifandomist]

Draco at three in the morning blackout drunk: Hi.

Harry: What the fuck Malfoy-

[flydotnet]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled).

Stairs, a taser, Yuto's fist, and more stairs. What do they all have in common?

Oh look, this is my yearly Arc-V fanfic where I'm ignoring most of canon because who gives a fuck about the Arc-V canon past, like, the Synchro arc (YMMV) lol. Anyway, this is a catharsis fic where I combine all of my other vague changes to the canon so that stupid ship only me still cares about in 2023 A.D. and also where the stupid parasites are easily removable by a good dash of Raidraptor magic. This fic can also be called "the floor is actually writing the Duel" because I didn't want to burden myself with how godawful the Parasite archetype is, especially since I can't just copy-paste a Duel from canon. The one I'd have to plagiarize really... isn't that good too, we're just all biased because Yuto is badass.

The title is a bilingual pun between the English "volatine", which is a synonym of "explosive" or "unstable", and the French "volatile", which is a term used for birds. Y'know, like Shun. He's the two meanings of the word "volatile". The word was, in fact, invented to trip my foot over during translation classes and also for Shun Kurosaki from hit "lowest ratings on Nico Nico Douga" anime Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V.

Speaking of my favourite bird-wielding edgelord, post-Xyz Shun is always kind of weird to write too. He's not the same abrasive bastard I keep remembering as, but then I'm afraid I'm writing him too soft. I kind of tend to forget he's that angry, that destructive in huge part because of his bonds to other people. I don't want a Draco in Leather Pants situation, God knows I've bitched about when it was happening with Revolver VRAINS. Just... think that in this timeline I'm never describing Serena and he stuck around for much longer, like at least through Synchro, character dev' happened, or something, idk

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Volatile

Summary: Serena snaps back to reality in the middle of a Duel, only to quickly realize her spirit is fighting herself(?) and her body is fighting a rib-clutching Kurosaki. Nothing about this adds up, yet there she is, not even in control of her own body anymore.

Or: Shun came across a possessed Serena before his sister after losing her track back in the Xyz Dimension, this is the consequences of that forced encounter.

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V Characters: Serena, Shun Ship: Peregrineshipping (pre-rel)

Wordcount: 3K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo​

AO3 version.

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Serena wakes up on both her feet to the smell of gunpowder and the heat of a reactor.

 Recent wartime experiences as a well-groomed doll turned soldier turned renegade have shaped her in a way that she doesn’t question how she got there, let alone why, and only on what’s in front of her.

She’s in harm’s way, so she sidesteps to avoid a chunk of shrapnel.

She’s near fire, so she steps backwards to avoid getting burned, or worse, outright set ablaze.

She’s in the middle of a Duel, which means she’s in the middle of battle, and needs to focus. Alas, no experience has prepared her for what she sees on the blade of her trusty Disk – and decidedly feels like a stranger to her own deck.

 She doesn’t recognize most of the cards she’s playing. Most of them are bearing garish bugs clad in colours that only push her eyes far away, which she don’t quite pay a mind to. They’re mostly Monster cards, with the exception of a set Trap card and a Spell one that’s still active. It seems to affect an archetype known as “Parasite”, which she’s never played nor even heard of. Why the hell did she play that, before seemingly going to sleep? How did this even happen to begin with?

It only dawns on her then to look up, only to see a semi-familiar face that, if it had organic eyes, would have absolutely been staring daggers right into hers. Mechanic wings, reactors, the smell of ruin and gunpowder. No, there’s no mistaking it, she’s watched it ravage through opposite fields before, in person, on a screen… No doubt about it, it’s –

 “Rise Falcon,” an even more familiar voice tells in a hoarse but firm tone, “reduce those bugs to—”

“Wait!”

Arm already risen in front of him, the individual on the other side of the field stops with a frustrated frown.

“What is it? Afraid of defeat?”

Her head hurts.

“What’re you doing, Kurosaki?! We’re on the same side!”

He tilts his head backwards just a little, one of his eyes twitches. He’s almost showing teeth now.

“I asked you that before you forced my hand into this bullshit.” He sounds so hurt, in a way that she hasn’t heard in so long, and her chest starts choking her too. “Don’t take me for stupid, asshole.”

It’s a downright migraine that she’s now stuck trying to shove back.

“What do you mean? I just… Why would I do that?”

His expression immediately softens.

“You were under the control of that… thing,” he points to the Parasite Queen in front of her, “and almost pushed me off that tower. Then you challenged me to a Duel.”

This sounds like an utter fantasy; but if there’s one thing Kurosaki doesn’t do, it’s lying, even to those he doesn’t trust, so there must be a rational explanation for this.

“What para—”

Don’t resist, Serena. Be a good girl.

She clutches her head now. What’s this voice? How did they get inside her head?!

“Serena?”

You’re my slave, now. Be a good girl and fight the Xyz remnant in front of you.

“Shit, Serena, snap out of it!”

And just like this, she loses contact with her own body.

 It’s an awful feeling of dissociation, drowsiness and loss of control. Her foot don’t touch the ground anymore, leaving her floating inside her own consciousness. Her eyes don’t look where she wants them to go, more fixated on the cards than on the guy in front of her, for worse and no shade of better – because even through the haze of her controlled mind, Serena hears it, the wheeze and the rasp of his voice.

 “You little pest,” her voice groans once even her cords have given back into the parasite’s clutches. “Back to you it is, bird boy.”

Kurosaki remains silent, the deep-set frown on his face enough to speak for him. Only now does she see, through the haze of glazed eyes, how battered he truly is, an arm wrapped around his chest and a trinkle of blood going down his cheek.

“I’m not leaving you in this state, not again, so don’t go thinking you’re out of the woods.” He clenches his teeth, spits back venom, “I’m not letting any of this fly by.”

He makes it sound like he’s here to save her – which doesn’t make sense. Kurosaki wanted to save Ruri, his other friend and his homeland. She wasn’t on the list. (Although Serena would’ve given her all to save him would have their places been the opposite, because she seeks redemption, because she wants to be a heroine, because she cares for Kurosaki less like a brother and more like a—)

“Oh, charming knight in armour, here to save the damsel in distress!” It chuckles. “You sound so full of yourself, for a miserable bug! You’re not the big bird of prey you think you are! Or did you abandon me back there? Didn’t just you faint from some small debris?”

“Tch.” He settles back into a deadpan. “I detach one Overlay Unit from Rise Falcon…”

 It wasn’t small debris – it was a lot more than that. She watched him run to save a girl he knew from her trauma and whatever her own homeland was trying to pull off in the middle of a Tag Duel, and only thanks to Kaito’s help was she able to finish them off before it was too late. She was scared beyond her mind’s comprehension, back there, but unable to realize until much late how much that had been; because there was no time.

No wonder why Kurosaki was so volatile. He hadn’t processed much of anything. Even now, she doubts he has.

What’s also no wonder to her is why she got so scared back then and a part of what’s grounding her to her body despite the phantom pain. She wants to do the right thing and stop this Duel from continuing any further. She doesn’t want to continue being a puppet for whomever infected her in Academia, her first and alleged only home for so long. She can’t hurt Kurosaki. She’s supposed to reunite with him and help him.

 And yet the Duel continues on without her, card after card sent to the Graveyard, Life Point after Life Point lost. Her “other self” has resorted to continuously bringing Monsters back from the dead to slap parasites on them, despite being unable to actually get a let up on Kurosaki despite having the upper hand in terms of cards on the field. He’s using all of his tools, constantly switching gears.

“You cheat,” that voice says. “You can’t beat me all on your own, can you!”

Kurosaki doesn’t reply, doesn’t even look like he’s hearing her.

“Action Magic: Miracle.” He smirks. “You could use them too, if you weren’t a coward.”

“You’re the coward, using you Lancers’ precious cards. You’re only delaying your oh so pathetic demise, Xyz remnant.”

To her surprise, even if it feels like it shouldn’t be anymore, Kurosaki chuckles at that.

“Oh, yeah, you’re definitely not there. The Serena I know wouldn’t say crap like this.”

“You don’t know me.”

“Obviously.”

 The other her destroys Kurosaki’s field with Magic, builds its side with more parasites, all summoned in various ways her dizzied mind can’t keep up with. The Queen squirms, ever so content with the suffering on the field, and she has to watch the one person she’s gotten attached to pay the price for what’s absolutely, by now and without question, her own rash decision making. She was made prisoner and now tortures other people.

She wouldn’t have wanted to put anyone through this to begin with, let alone him. No, of course Kurosaki isn’t the only friend she’s made along the way (that’d erase Yuzu, and Tsukikage, and Yugo…), but she’d lie if she said they hadn’t gotten strangely close to each other, the Xyz renegade and the former golden child of Academia turned against them. The groomed soldier and the one who had to become one to survive. It’s awful, it makes all too much sense.

 Another turn ended and he’s back to kneeling on the ground, hanging on by a thin thread of 200 LP.

“Oh-oh, having trouble standing up now, are we?”

“Shut it.”

“Hmph, I see you’re as unpleasant to talk to as always. You build yourself up so much yet struggle to do anything of substance once confronted. How does it feel, to be so useless, in the end? To be so powerless in the face of adversity?”

Kurosaki doesn’t respond, once more, only getting back to his feet.

“Tch. I set one face-down card and end my turn.”

 Serena’s heart skips a beat when she sees what card it is, as brief as it is. The name is blurry, so is the picture, but the chuckle of self-satisfaction that escapes her is enough to be weary of what’s about to happen; and if that wasn’t enough, then knowing it’ll absolutely decimate both of their fields but at the cost of his LP first would do more than the job.

She has one turn to get control of her body back, if not less. It’s a Magic card, so it has less chance to be activated on Kurosaki’s turn, but it’s not enough reassurance in this game of minds and prediction. If she doesn’t do something before it’s too late, he’ll suffer the consequences; and that she simply cannot let happen. He’s already struggling to breathe as is.

 “I activate from my hand Rank-Up Magic, Absorbing Soul Force. I pay half my Life Points to Special Summon Rise Falcon back to my field.”

“Then I’ll just destroy it again! You can’t win!”

“Shut up, I’m not finished. I Overlay Rise Raptor as Xyz material to summon two Ranks above its four.”

“Oh, of course, you Xyz users can’t get enough of your stupid Ranks. Come at me, I’ll just bury it six feet underground if need be!”

“Prideful falcon, spread your wings dyed in the blood of heroes, advance through the path of revolution! Xyz Summon, come forth! Rank Six, Raidraptor Revolution Falcon!”

“What’s the difference between that and the previous one? None, they’re all scum! Low filth of the Earth!”

Oh, a lot, but she’d rather let Kurosaki explain – who remains unfazed, if silently furious.

“I activate Revolution Falcon’s effect. By using one Overlay Unit, it can attack all of my opponents’ Monsters, once each.”

“Its Attack is inferior to Parasite Queen’s! Are you birdbrained?!”

Is he going to pull off the same thing he did back then?

“When this monster battles one that was Specially Summoned, that monster’s Attack and Defence become zero!”

But it scoffs and laughs, oh so amused by what’s in front of it, and she won’t have it let have its way. She’s putting an end to this battle that wasn’t meant to be now, no matter what. She’ll get back in control, at long last.

“Too bad for you, I’m ready! I activate—”

If she doesn’t do anything, this is going to be the bitter end—

No, I won’t let you!

“It’s over!” Serena screams with her own voice, finally, back in her body. All she has to do now is to…

Give it back to me!!

The pain is searing and it’s hard to think clearly, but one though is strong enough to pierce through it all.

“I’m not going to let you take over!”

“Serena?!”

She rises her hear to see an obviously concerned Kurosaki.

“Do it!” She yells at him, about to throw her own cards to the ground. “Finish this off!”

The voice screeches and burns inside his mind, claws its way out of a bottomless pit, everything burns burns burns.

He nods, takes a breath, and screams, “Revolution Air Raid!”

 And like it did the first time they saw each other, exchanged what could barely qualify as words, bombs explode to destroy their common enemy. Every single parasite on her field disappears in a blaze, the sky turns white. She almost loses consciousness, doesn’t withstand the knockback of the wind; but gets up soon enough, ignoring tremors in her legs, to at least realize something has moved inside her head.

She can’t quite worry over that yet however, because as soon as Cross-Over disappears, he falls to his knees.

 As if she hadn’t spent so long in her own pain, she rushes to his side, legs lighter than a feather. She doesn’t catch him per say, but decides to support him, concern tainting her every thought. From up close and through her own eyes, it’s evident that he’s taken quite the beating, a bruise already blossoming on the side of his neck and leftover hints of half-healed injuries speckle the few parts of his skin he leaves visible.

“Are you okay?” She asks, frantic, afraid she’ll lose him again.

Kurosaki doesn’t reply, exacerbating her pulse, but she soon feels something getting pulled from her ear. To her shock and disgust alike, through another dizzy spell, she watches him splatter an enormous bug under the sole of his shoe.

“You’re back, Serena?” He asks, his voice even raspier than it was before.

“Y-yeah. I was… controlled by that thing, wasn’t I…?”

“I think so, yeah. Scared the shit outta me.”

 She too has trouble getting her breath back, but before she loses all strength, she drags the both of them to lean against the nearby wall. Exhaustion is sitting heavy on her limbs, despite an urge to keep on – and she can only guess Kurosaki, because he’s struggling to get up yet trying so hard to, is feeling the same.

It’s always been difficult to know what he thinks, because he’s so quiet, so closed-off and so off-limits to everyone but two people he hasn’t found again yet. What is even going through his mind, right now?

Wait, did he just say he was scared?

 “You didn’t seem like it, though… Scared, I mean.”

“Only when you pushed me off the edge. After that, I was just focused on getting you back.”

His voice is gravely, his head is lulling on his shoulder, and it’s all too close to her, too warm, too welcoming. They’re soldiers in the jaw of the enemy, goddammit, is she this tired—

“Why didn’t you give up on me? I almost killed you, Kurosaki.”

He gives her one long, tired stare.

“You weren’t yourself.” He looks to the side next. “I wasn’t going to lose someone else again.”

“Am I really this important to you…?”

“What do you think the answer to that is?”

Dumb question… but it’s such a hard thing to believe. God, he surely sees her as his sister, or as a placeholder for her until Ruri is safe and sound again, that’s got to be it. She isn’t naïve enough not to know that now, that the world has never revolved around her and especially not his. (If only it didn’t hurt to think about).

“It’s hard to know, with you. I was your enemy at some point. You hate Fusion.”

“You’re not responsible for my homeland’s destruction, nor for Ruri’s disappearance. That doesn’t matter anymore.” He smiles a little, sends her back to flutter. “Plus, you did save me before. I was only paying you back so I don’t owe a debt.”

“We’ve talked about that, didn’t we? I was only seeking you for my own selfish gain. I said awful things to you, parading them as truth. I wasn’t exactly doing you a favour.”

He frows so, so deeply.

“Can’t you accept that I give a shit about you, or do I need to break a rib again?”

 Her blood immediately ices over, adrenaline replacing it shortly thereafter.

“Did I break something?!”

“I don’t know,” he says with an undignified uncertainty that doesn’t sound like him and stabs her as a result. “It’s not like I was in that good of a shape before coming here.”

Right, the debris, the rushed recovery process, the turmoil of questions never answered… No rest, all stress. It’s taken its toll on all of them.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault if you’re in that state.”

“Skip the apology. I don’t want to hear it.”

“If I had been stronger, I wouldn’t have been infected by that… parasite.”

Vague memories she wants to ignore of a crazed man inserting something inside her mind, shivers that follow. It only ends when she feels pulled to him.

“I’m just glad you’re not gone.”

She nuzzles closer, for a moment uncaring of the dimensions, the Professor, the Lancers – all that matters is that they now breath together, that she doesn’t hurt him anymore, that they’re companions once more. It’s selfish. It’s insane. It’s easy.

“I’m relieved to see you again,” is all she replies. “We should… get going, though, shouldn’t we?”

“We should, yeah.”

She gets up, still dizzy and dazed, but nonetheless stable enough to give him her hand with a smile of her own. To her relief and joy alike, he gives it back to her as he takes it, gets to his own feet… and tilts forward just enough for her to catch him in her arms. If their worlds weren’t at stake, at the moment, she’d have relished in it, or let herself get overwhelmed by so much touch, so much closeness.

“I’ll support you,” she says, unsure of the extent to which she means it.

“I guess it’s fine, if it’s you.”

 She doesn’t comment on it, yet in silence can barely contain all of the thoughts that dance through her mind. Instead, like the level-headed companion she wants to be, she pushes that aside and focuses on the way his arm sits on her shoulder, of the one she has wrapped around his wrist, and not to aggravate his breathing. She can decide what to do with her feelings once everyone is safe and back home, when she won’t have to feel bad after a moment of reprieve. For now, they have a world to save.

And there’s nobody she wants to do it with more than the guy who’s just saved her.

[ancienttheblackangel]

Lemurian Holocaust was the first major event of planet earth genocide memories which happened about 50,000 years ago. The Annunaki, Patriarchal Melchizedek’s allowed Orion Group to stage an Draco invasion underground in secret deception. The Draco of Orion Grouptunnels between Lemuria and Atlantian continents. Humans found out and tried to seal off underground tunnels with cataclysmic result that destroyed the earth surface.

Earth core implosions destroy portions of the Pacific Ocean Continent – inner earth and underground tunnels are rendered unstable. Earthquakes, Volcanoes, Floods and Sinkholes wreak devastation, killing thousands of humans. The forthcoming Ice age forced the Lemurians underground. While underground they started to organize the rebuilding of planetary Portals, and repair the Arc Gate with Guardian Groups.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Confession Time

TW: For talks of mental illness as well as a mention of suicide.

This has actually been on my mind for quite a while but I was worried about how it would be taken. However this has actually come up several times in the Azula tag now so I might as well talk about it. And before I get to the point I just want to say that I’m very much open to respectful discussion. Please don’t rip me apart over this. 

So here we go; Azula/Therapy makes me rather uncomfortable.

And it does so on a rather personal level and for several reasons. I can’t really get into my biggest reason because it’s very deeply personal and I don’t feel comfortable sharing it online. So I’m gonna start with the less personal reasons as to why I think that Azula/Therapy is kinda sketchy imo.  

I feel as though most people who ship Azula/Therapy don’t really realize how it affects real people? For one thing I feel like it makes a joke of therapy. It’s kind of hard to explain but therapy isn’t some cute and quirky thing. It’s a very serious matter and to ship Azula/Therapy like it’s the next Drapple (Draco/Apple) just doesn’t sit right with me. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I feel like most people who ship Azula/Therapy don’t particularly mean any offense. I feel like to a degree it comes from a place of innocence. But and its big but, I think that Azula/Therapy got its origins from a not so wholesome place. In fact I think that the ship was  born from a place of hate. I think that the first time I encountered Azula/Therapy it was from a very notorious Azula anti. It gained traction with the anti crowd as a means to harass and guilt people for shipping Azula with anyone. And that’s not okay. I think that somewhere down the lines, the Azula fandom kind of reclaimed it but. I am damn near certain that this started as an Azula anti thing.

It’s one thing to ship Azula/Therapy because you don’t feel like Azula is sound enough to be in a relationship. But don’t try to guilt others for disagreeing. And this kind of leads me to my main problem with Azula/Therapy.

I think that it’s kind of, sort of (dare I say) ableist? Just because someone has a mental illness doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be loved. I’ve been kind of keeping tabs on discussions on this and I came across one anon who literally say something about how “Azula would just be a burden to her lover.” NGL that had me floored because this is the exact line of thinking that puts depressed people in a bad place. Speaking from experience, people with depression feel like burdens/like they are bringing people down. And to see this line of thinking being affirmed in fandom spaces does not help real people who are experiencing the same thing. God forbid someone shares disorder traits with Azula and they see that. 

I am 100% that there are some relationships where a person just isn’t stable enough to be in a relationship and it would be detrimental for them to have one. But for other people finding a lover can be instrumental to recovery! So by all means, this is definitely a matter of something being a case by case thing. Getting a littler personal (but without getting into too many details) I know two people who literally saved each other. And by this I mean, one was super depressed and the other was ready to kill themself. Finding each other was what rekindled their will to live again. That’s why it really bothers me to see Azula/Therapy being tossed around so carelessly. To me there’s this underlying implication that mentally ill people shouldn’t be allowed to date and get love. And that’s just not fair?  I feel like people maybe don’t think about this when posting Azula/Therapy stuff. 

“Well Azula specifically shouldn’t be in a relationship yet because she’s not in a good place for it.”

Okay fair but consider a few things; 1. some people specifically write post-redemption Azula ship fics 2. some people enjoy writing out fics where romance helps her heal. 

I have seen it come up that someone (I won’t mention names because I’m not sure if this user would want that) mention that they ship Azula/Therapy because they aren’t up to writing a fic that involves an arc of Azula getting to a place where she can have romance. Which is totally fair. But, that doesn’t mean that other people can’t. And I feel like this fandom has been trying to guilt people for shipping Azula with anyone. As mentioned, this isn’t fine. (@ mentioned user, feel free to reply). 

Another thing that I saw was an anon saying that being anti Azula/Therapy is aro/acephobic. I’m going to put my foot down as someone who has been very openly aro/ace and say, don’t try to speak for all of us. Yes romance isn’t the solution for everyone because romance isn’t what everyone is looking for. And I absolutely agree with this. However Azula is a fictional character and not everyone headcanons her as aro/ace. For some people, writing Azula in a romance as part of the healing process is what makes them happy. It doesn’t make them aro/acephobic. 

One more thing that I saw come up regarding Azula specifically. And I think that they made a wonderful point; Azula’s breakdown (as I interpreted it) came from a lack of love. Azula craved genuine affection whether she realized it or not. So I would argue that Azula would be one of those people who could strongly benefit from being in a relationship as part of the healing processes. By all means, make therapy a part of that healing process! She can be in a relationship and she can still go to therapy. She can use that therapy to help her keep that relationship healthy. I guess what I’m trying to say is I could get on board with Azula/*Character*/Therapy as an OT3. 99.99% sure that this is really common in real life. Actually 100% sure because (again without sharing too much personal info) I have seen a rather unstable person get into a relationship and use therapy to help them make sure that said relationship stays healthy. 

A person doesn’t have to be 100% mentally sound to be in a relationship. And having a mental illness while  being in a relationship doesn’t automatically make it a toxic or dangerous relationship on principal. I think that (depending on the disorder) some long discussions need to be had and some boundaries need to be put in place. Speaking from experience, I have heard someone say something akin to, “alright, I have *disorder* if I ever do *bad habit* then take these steps and don’t let me push you around...” Things like that. 

TL;DR: I feel like Azula/Therapy (even if it comes from a well meaning place) can be disheartening for people who relate to Azula & people who already feel like a burden in their real life relationships. Ship Azula/Therapy if you want and if it makes you comfortable but don’t try to shame people for shipping her with other characters. Also be weary of people who ship Azula/Therapy  as a means to belittle others.

I think that’s it for now.  If I think of anything else, I’ll add it. I’ll just end by saying that I don’t mean this to be antagonistic or yell at anyone but to offer a new POV.

[retvenkos]

i just read your tags are you anti-snape?

(so i just saw that my tags were cut off halfway through my rant, so if you want me to finish that, just send in an ask and i will write out my whole thoughts)

okay, so anti-snape is a strong word, with a lot of different connotations to it, and while i wouldn’t brand myself as anti-snape because of all of the strong feelings attached, i would say that i don’t think that snape deserves all of the recognition that he deserves.

why?

what i firstly want to say is that snape is emotional abuser. my case in point here is neville, who had parents that were literally tortured to insanity, proving that his worst fear is snape - his teacher. how many times was snape unusually cruel to neville and harry? how many times did he humiliate hermione - an already bullied, muggle-born student (and possible poc)? snape is established to be cruel, and when you look at his actions, it is clear he is emotionally abusive to his students.

why did i start with this? because i relate with neville - i know what it is like to have your worst fear be an abuser that you face every day. so, therefore, i am biased against snape, and a lot of my dislike for him comes from the fact that no matter how you dice it, this man was in a position of power, abusing those students that looked up to him. 

he especially hated harry, who was an abused kid himself (and there is some kind of narrative in there, an abused kid growing up to hate and alienate an abused kid. i’m not going to get into that. but just think about that for a second and tell me you don’t want to at least dislike snape.). 

and perhaps you want to argue that snape couldn’t know that harry was abused over at privet drive. fair, okay. not everything about a kid can be seen on their face, right? but, one could argue that if snape took the time to look at harry and see him as a kid for a second, he could see hints of it. i have family members who are teachers, and they say that they can never be 100% sure, but they can at least have a good idea of who is abused at home, just based off of the way they interact with other people - especially adults. OR, if you don’t like that idea, you can think of it like this: the teachers at hogwarts are probably close to each other, right? mcgonagall knew (at least to some degree) what the dursleys were like - furthermore, she is close with harry and perceptive. she would have known that harry was abused, and if you don’t think that she wouldn’t have at least mentioned it to snape, i would disagree and say you don’t know mcgonagall. also! dumbledore! there is literally so many opportunities for snape to figure out that harry was abused at home. he just didn’t care.

so, snape is an emotionally abusive man in a position of power, picking on literal children as an outlet for his misplaced anger. this is the set-up for snape, and had he never had an in-depth redemption arc, we would literally all dislike snape.

and i feel like, then, the only reason that we have this snape/anti-snape discourse is dependent on whether or not you think his redemption arc is reason enough to excuse his actions.

and so here we talk about his childhood. which is definitely important and gives good insight, but should not be the only reason as to why he is seen as a good character. childhoods are formative and important, but they are not all encompassing. let’s not forget that snape is a grown man when the story starts. he is 31 years old when we are introduced to his character.

snape had a terrible childhood. he was neglected. he was abused (or so it was implied). he was friendless. he was lonely. he was poorly socialized. he was in a hogwarts house that seemed against him, almost, so he had to work to carve his place out and prove his worth. he wanted to stay at hogwarts all year, if he could.

(sound familiar? harry? neville? you two are here?)

but, school is not always great. at school, there are bullies that are terrible to him - it goes beyond teasing sometimes, snape getting hexed and jinxed and publically humiliated. he has one friend - lily, but sometimes he wonders if she really understands or if she really cares. no one has ever cared for him before, so why should she? he falls in love with her, but she does not reciprocate his feelings. instead, she falls for his tormentor - the person who has made his one safe place terrible, the person who treats him like he’s nothing.

now that is a compelling background. when he falls in with the wrong crowd, we can see why. he is desperate for some kind of belonging, some kind of importance. 

(is that... draco?)

he gets more violent as time goes on. those spells he created? levicorpus? sectumsempra? he’s going down a dark path and he wants to cause pain. he becomes a death eater, and while we don’t get a lot of detail what happens here, he rises in the ranks, which means he had to have done terrible things. at this point, he is clearly a bad person. and maybe he feels remorse during this time, but it’s clearly not enough to push his conscience out of where it is. he is still on voldemort's side.

what changes him? the power of love, of course. because even in this terrible time, he still loves lily - right? but is it love? or is it more like obsession? jk would tell us it’s love, but i would disagree. 

at the beginning, yes. snape loved lily. but after so much has transpired? things changed. snape is no longer as pure as he once was. he changed. any maybe he didn’t notice it, sure. but wasn’t he different, after everything?

if he loved lily, he would have cared about (even minorly) the things she cared for. yes, he could still hate james with a burning passion, yes he could let that ruin his and lily’s relationship,,, but could he become the very thing she feared and abhorred? could he become a death eater, literally killing people she loved? people just like her? could he have gone to her house, stepped over her dead husband, ignored her crying child to mourn her dead body?

this feels more like obsession. if you love someone, you care about them - their wellbeing, their peace of mind. love means you need to have an awareness for who your loved one loves, and you can accept them for the fact that they love someone else. snape shows he doesn’t. he only cares for her.

here we are, now, at this point is snape's story, and the natural progression in his redemption arc is for him to actively try to amend his terrible actions.

and... he does? kind of?

he becomes a double agent which is perfect. he vows to protect harry, which he does, physically... but he has a clear disregard for protecting harry emotionally, which one could argue is most important in harry’s story.

to defeat voldemort, harry has to come to terms with the idea that love is his strongest weapon against the dark lord, right? so snape being horrible to harry is not only bad because emotional abuse is real, but it’s also part of why harry is so angry and bitter in the sixth book, the exact opposite of what he needs to be if he wants to defeat voldemort.

also, snape preaches “control your emotions” but snape... is emotionally unstable and takes out all of his anger on children half his age? idk. that just bothers me.

so i feel like snape kind of half-asses his way through his redemption arc. he has chosen a different side, yes, but he doesn’t make a lot of intrinsic changes. he’s still angry. he’s still bitter. he’s still emotionally manipulative and abusive. 

so really, the question is: is a redemption arc dependent on a change of heart? or is a change of action good enough?

if you haven’t already picked up on how i feel about this issue, i don’t think a change of action is enough.

redemption is the act of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil (thanks, google). it’s absolution for your crimes. i feel like redemption is an intrinsic transformation, and jk preaches that love can do such an act. i’ve already covered that i don’t think snape loved lily, at the point of his big character changing moment. he was obsessed. it was more a change of action, than of heart.

BUT, that doesn’t mean that i don’t think he couldn’t have been redeemed. toward the close of his story, i kind of saw him as going through another arc as a character - i saw him start to care for harry more as harry rather than the child of the woman i’m obsessed with. i think, here,  he’s starting to show that love that jk insists he has. 

i think that if he had more time, he could have had a more full, more satisfying redemption arc. and that’s the tragedy of his character, right? we could always sort of trust him, but we could never fully trust him until the end. he was never really quite redeemed, it was cut short.

so, basically, i grapple with the fact that jk is adamant that snape is the good guy, he’s the redeemable character, when... he’s kind of only halfway there. AND, this is coupled with the fact that i believe draco was halfway there to a complete redemption arc, and jk is equally as adamant against draco getting a redemption arc.

jk has said that she thinks that the people who want draco to be redeemed are just girls obsessed with the bad boy having a heart of gold (which is fair, to some extent), but... isn’t she the exact same with snape? isn’t she equally obsessed that her readers know snape as being the emotionally scarred, bad boy with a heart of gold? food for thought.

also, where i draw a clear distinction between the crimes of draco and the crimes of snape is that draco is a teenager alongside the teenagers he bullies and emotionally abuses (draco, too, is an abuser! if you want an analysis on him, hmu.) draco is a 15 year old abusing other 15 year olds. this is terrible, and it can’t be excused. i agree. BUT, snape is a 31 year old man abusing 11 year olds. he is also their teacher. there is a clear power imbalance coupled with the fact that snape is an adult, who is supposed to be wiser and smarter.

so... long post, forgive me. i could go off about the crimes of jk rowling's depiction of slytherins forever and never be fully satisfied. i’m sure that in a weeks time i will have more i want to add onto this post. but for now, these are my thoughts on snape’s redemption arc, and my answer to whether or not i am anti-snape.

i am sure that after reading this, there are some of you who will think that i am anti-snape. that’s fine. you can have your own opinion, but if you are going to say that, know why.

no opinion is good if you can’t explain why.

[metaphysicalpistolsoraclemine]

The Lemurian Holocaust ...

was the first major event of planet earth genocide memories which happened about 50,000 years ago. The Annunaki, Patriarchal Melchizedek’s allowed Orion Group to stage an Draco invasion underground in secret deception. The Draco of Orion Group tunnels between Lemuria and Atlantian continents. Humans found out and tried to seal off underground tunnels with cataclysmic result that destroyed the earth surface.

Earth core implosions destroy portions of the Pacific Ocean Continent – inner earth and underground tunnels are rendered unstable. Earthquakes, Volcanoes, Floods and Sinkholes wreak devastation, killing thousands of humans. The forthcoming Ice age forced the Lemurians underground. ( see Root Races.) While underground they started to organize the rebuilding of planetary Portals, and repair the Arc Gate with Guardian Groups.

This was the first stage of planetary cataclysm that is the hidden history and memories of the human root races that is recorded in our DNA, and of which the NAA wants us to forget this memory so they can continue to manipulate humanities into the Armageddon Software which is based on these previous Timelines of holocaust and genocide memories.

After repairs were made on the surface from the inner words and underground, the Lemurian and ET technology that was used to repair the earth was taken to Egypt, aproximately 35,000-45,000 years ago. These cultures were rebuilt with ET support and Interstellar communication with many of the races in the Universe and cosmos. The Sphinx was built to house the Hall of Records and to mark the access into the Inner Earth gate, and to be the placement holder of the frequency base for the future earth Tara, which is the 5D future earth Timelines and Soul Frequency. Pyramids were built to pull in high frequency from Sirius B, who were acting as the support hosting due to the Sirian-Annunaki conflicts over territory. Sirius B gave the technology for teleportation and to help the hybridization issue a new hosting support was initiated, the Melchizedek Ascension Host; known as Jesus Christ and the Iron Age Christos-Sophia, Jesus Christ Mission - Reference from Historical Timeline Trigger Events: 2,000 YA, Sirius B Christos Mission to repair Giza and Stonehenge Stargate, timeline repair gridwork to prepare for the Ascension timeline and reclamation of the Christos Diamond Sun body in 2012 timeline. Jesus Christ is a Sirian Blue Human from the future that came to change the 3rd dimensional Timelines and bring the Essenes, Christos Templars and Law of One Ascension knowledge and its consciousness technology back to planet earth. This mission was in response to the DNA damage the planet and humanity had most recently suffered after the Luciferian Rebellion, and then the after the Sumerian-Egypt Invasion, which was the final destruction of the Mother Staff principle in the earth core. His group mission under the direction of the High Lyran-Sirian council was to work with the future earth 5D Tara multi-dimensional Templar crew called the Azurites, organized by the RA Confederacy. As a team they were working with repairing the planetary architecture, doing Soul Retrieval from the Lemurian Holocaust and Atlantian Cataclysm, preparing the Ley Lines, Planetary Grid Network and Planetary Gates to help align for the ending Ascension Cycle in 2012 and beyond.

The various levels of ET technology such as the harmonic vibrations of the Pyramids, and the Technology used for bi-location and teleportation in the Ascension chambers were in power conflict with Annunaki-Nibiru resistance. These factions fled to join the Annunaki with the Nibiruan resistance to build new colonies in Atlantis in what is currently the United Kingdom landmass.

Thus the Great White Lion is a consciousness network in the planetary body made in the image of the Leonine race which is a part of human genetics. Note that the Sphinx, which originally had a lion's head, was built as a tribute to the Feline and Leonine Founders. The the resistance Nibiruan Annunaki defiled and altered it to destroy its function. The heart of the Great White Lion Planetary Grid Network is located at the 12-dimensional (12D Ray) energy center (node, Stargate portal) in the south of France and its wormhole connects into the island of Kauai. The Hawaiian Islands are what is left of the ancient Lemurian Continent.

The Great White Lion purpose was to stabilize the 12 primary 'vertical' Axiatonal Lines into the planetary Staff formation. The Great White Lion of which the Sphinx is apart is the Planetary Guardian of the North and South Ley Lines, acts as the Planetary Guardian of the Verticals and represents the female Staff consciousness. The NAA (Negitive Alien Agenda) have gone to great lengths to destroy this GWL and Sphinx network, as its feminine principle is its function and purpose on the earth.

During the first Lemurian Holocaust, a massive orchestration to hide and bury the contents of historical timelines included in the holographic disc translations was transmitted into crystals, and then buried throughout the chain of the Hawaiian Islands and other island regions. As a result of these efforts to preserve the Christos Essene Templar timelines during the Lemurian Holocaust, these are specifically referred to as Lemurian Crystals. This was a method to hide and bury the sacred knowledge about stargate mechanics and the map of the 12 Tribe genetics on the earth, during the Galactic Wars that were occurring throughout multiple dimensional timelines, simultaneously. Learn more at ascensionglossary.com

[misscrawfords]

Well, I saw The Last Jedi...

HERE BE SPOILERS

(Also - I will be tagging all posts with “spoilers” and “tlj spoilers” for you to avoid. However, from now on this blog is NOT SPOILER FREE and I can’t guarantee that something might not slip past by accident. Proceed at your own risk.

Okay, I’ve just got back and my head is whirling so don’t expect complex analysis.

However, I’ve been chatting with the lovely ladies in the spoiler zone of the Reylo discord chat and that’s helping me clarify my thoughts a lot.

So basic reactions first in no particular order:

- I am now in love with Poe Dameron. I now ship Damerey. I don’t know how this happened. 

- There’s a bit in the soundtrack that is basically the finale of Sibelius’ 2nd Symphony. No1 curr I know but I’m intrigued.

- There was way too much going on in this film. It was like a later HP book - some great things happening individually but overall I just want to kick it because there was too much and it was easy to lose sight of the heart of it and its message because there was YET ANOTHER BATTLE and yet another subplot and character development for a minor character. I’m really frustrated.

- Since when was Hux such an awesome character!? I loved how he was played for laughs but honestly this is absolutely Draco-in-leather-pants. Kylux is literally a Cassandra Clare fanfiction. What is life.

- Several deus ex machina moments that made me go “hmm”. Floaty sky princess? Um, okay. That was unnecessary and a bit weird. Felt like a cringey tribute to Carrie Fisher and then she was knocked out for most of the film. I have problems with that entire narrative arc. To be explored later. Also Force ghost Yoda. Really? 

- WTF was that child doing at the end? I’m so confused. My instant reaction is to be suspicious and annoyed. If that child grows up to have the Force and takes away from Rey then I will be so annoyed. Also, we don’t need more characters. We really, really don’t!

- I was disappointed in Rose and Finn. I just... I just didn’t care. Because, once again, there was too much going on. Their whole storyline felt tacked on. Like, there were elements I really liked. I loved the whole weapons dealing in space concept - it was blatant but really good. We were basically in space Saudi Arabia and I loved that and I loved the code breaker who betrayed them for money. It was a more interesting and morally grey update of the bounty hunter concept and I really loved it. Also it fitted very well with the overarching theme of both sides being flawed and the profit of war and it all being kind of pointless in a way. BUT there was too much of it and I feel like they could have shown that message and done Canto Bight somehow without so much subplot that really distracted from the main heart of the film. I’ll need to think about this further and how I would have preferred it to go. Also at the end, I was really annoyed at Rose for saving Finn. Like, I 100% did NOT want Finn to sacrifice himself - NO SIR - but Rose stopped him potentially saving the whole Resistance by taking out that gun. Like, strategically it was dumb since Finn had committed to doing that. (I’m sorry, I’m such a cool-headed Slytherin, but it’s true!) I don’t know where to go from here for these two characters and I didn’t really buy the romance. Perhaps I would have done if there HADN’T BEEN SO MUCH DAMN STUFF GOING ON.

- It was really funny. Like, I was not expecting the humour. Especially over the First Order. But seriously, the FO run by played-for-laughs Hux and emotionally unstable Kylo is not exactly going to be a slick administration, right? It’s a recipe for disaster! (Sorry, Hermione Granger brain taking over again.)

- SHIRTLESS KYLO FANSERVICE. what even

- Every single “inappropriate use of the Force” fic is now canon.

- I kind of need to do a separate post about my Reylo thoughts and feelings, but suffice to say I am actually very conflicted, as I am about most of the film. Everything that happened made total sense in terms of character development and as a continuation of TFA and I applaud that and yet I feel uneasy. I also felt a lack of romantic/sexual chemistry between them that the film could have built up with music and other techniques, even despite shirtless Kylo and the HANDTOUCHING SCENE OMG WHAT IS LIFE. I’m not saying that there isn’t a basis for something to develop in IX but I was left feeling... I don’t actually know. THERE WAS TOO MUCH GOING ON AROUND THEM. I need to watch it again. I may pick up on things on a second viewing I didn’t see this time.

- SAVE BEN SOLO. Honestly, I have no idea what is going on. The film is massively pushing a redemption arc in its plot and what everyone around Kylo is saying. And every time he has the opportunity to fall in with this, HE DOES THE EXACT OPPOSITE. He’s not the only one being torn apart tbh. I don’t understand what the film wants me to think about this. (This isn’t about me analysing it, it’s about an initial reaction to feeling that I don’t know what the film is doing. It seems to be saying “Redeem Ben Solo! It can happen! That’s where this is going!” at the same time as “Kylo Ren is a monster and is turning into the Big Bad of this trilogy” which I don’t really believe but also I just do not see how he can come back from where he is.) But oh my goodness, his was the performance to watch. And he is still the centre and heart of the trilogy, as he should be as the new Skywalker.

- Speaking of Skywalkers... I loved Luke. He was so incredibly “Luke” and yet different. Is it what I’d expected? From what I’d heard and the marketing, yes. From his character as I previously understood it, I’ll have to watch the OT again. I think it probably works. It’s interesting. And Mark Hamill was absolutely fantastic. I really loved the flashbacks and the explanation of the destruction of the school and how it was a horrible, horrible misunderstanding. Best way out. Really tragic. And I like how the adults are taking responsibility for what happened to Ben. But also, like, the choices he makes now are his own. And they are terrible, terrible choices??? Not just morally terrible but also just, like, terrible. Poorly thought out...

- And yet, to me, the most true thing anyone said at any point was Ben’s speech to Rey when he asked her to join him about needing the whole old order to be swept away and replaced. It just... it really does? I felt such a feeling of relief. Like, the legacy is so strong in these characters. They need to get away from their past and the mistakes of the past and the burdens of the past. And that’s shown with the Resistance story but also with the Jedi story. Kylo’s way of doing this is all wrong, of course, but his ideas and vision is right and true. And I feel like this needs to happen! I don’t know HOW Ben can be pulled back from all the awful decisions he is continually making and the fact that he is squandering every single chance he gets, but I just feel like the only ending that is truly satisfying is Rey and Kylo starting from scratch again with a clean slate.

- Which is why Rey Nobody is so important. Whether Kylo is telling the truth or not about her parentage, she’s not a Skywalker. Or a Solo. Or anyone from the OT. And that is so necessary and important.

-  I have no idea whether to talk about Kylo Ren or Ben Solo.

- Before watching it I kind of wanted Rey and Kylo to leave together on nobody’s side but their own but watching I realised that she would never leave with Kylo. She will only leave with Ben. But he is refusing to be that person so I don’t know if it can happen. But it also has to happen. Because if Kylo dies in an act of redemption (which is what I always thought would be his fate after TFA) then Rey is left alone again and there is no balance. Sure she has her Resistance friends whom she loves and who love her and that is GREAT, I’m not knocking it, but they don’t understand her. They build up the Force bond, they build up the fact that neither is alone because they have each other, they see their future with each other (and even if that is a manipulation of Snoke’s, he is showing them what they want to see so it is still true) - and then Kylo dies and Rey is all alone as the Last Jedi after being alone all her life. And like, yes, found family and all but... it’s just. Why set all of that up? I’m just incredibly conflicted.

- I’m going to spend the next two years trying to understand all of this by writing Poe/Rey/Ben love triangle fic. Because I loved that moment of chemistry between Rey and Poe and I think he is kind of like the hero she wants but she’s got this connection to Ben and she’s got to deal with that but I think a transitional period in which she awakens to romantic/sexual feelings via Poe would be very important to her. Because I think one of the issues I have with seeing Reylo in this movie is that Rey is just so forceful and determined on one thing that she is not thinking in terms of romance or anything like that at all. There’s just nothing coming off her in that sense - until she sees Poe. And I’m conflicted between what the symbolism is in the film and what the characters actually do. Symbolically and mythologically Reylo is the only answer. But the acting and the characters of them as psychologically realised individuals is problematic to me. I don’t know if any of that makes sense, it’s 1.33am now.

- So on the topic of Rey will only go with Ben and not with Kylo, Ben has to save himself. Rey MUSTN’T, for the sake of feminist narratives everywhere, this cannot become a “bad boy saved by the love of a good woman” story, and I don’t think it is because Kylo is rejected every attempt Rey is making to change him. When he does do something “good”, it is of his own volition. The throne room and killing Snoke, for instance, (also, I totally called that as something that could happen, not that I did it here so I can’t prove it - ah well!), he didn’t do because of Rey directly. So he has to work that out for himself but I have no idea how he is going to do it. I mean, sure Rey can be part of this process and even the catalyst, but she can’t do it for it.

- I’m still so confused by the ending. Were Rey and Kylo looking at each other? I’ve seen people say he was kneeling in front of her, but I’m confused because I thought he was in the main part of the base and they were in the Falcon somewhere in the salt mountains? And also I thought Leia was still on the ground and I was convinced she was going to stay behind and see Kylo but then she was on the Falcon and were Kylo and Rey just staring at each other? I’m confused. I think this may have been a meaningful moment but I was just trying to work out where they all were and what was going on.

SO over all. Overall, I enjoyed lots of it but I don’t think it was a great movie. There was simply too much of it and ultimately I think there was a really fascinating and subtle story surrounding Luke, Kylo/Ben, Leia and Rey with juicy goodies like Force Bonds and grey morality and growing up and growing old (for all that Yoda’s appearance made me roll my eyes, I loved the line about the roll of the master being to be outgrown or whatever it was because as a teacher it’s just, yeah... it meant a lot). But this great and interesting and new take on the SW universe was being lost in battle after battle and confusing Resistance politics and overlong subplots that went nowhere (Finn and Rose didn’t even succeed?! What was the POINT) and an attempt to shoehorn in this fascinating story into a generic SW movie about the plucky band of Resistance fighters and the big bad Empire that we’ve seen too many times before.

LET. THE. PAST. DIE. I’m over that plot and I’m just annoyed because it has the makings of a great movie but I’m just left feeling too much was going on and I’m confused about the bits I really wanted to focus on and linger over.

Anyway, going to see it again on Wednesday with school and I am going to really, really focus on Reylo and trying to find the possibilities for romance so that if nothing else I have fodder for fanfic!

[ancienttheblackangel]

Lemurian Holocaust was the first major event of planet earth genocide memories which happened about 50,000 years ago. The Annunaki, Patriarchal Melchizedek’s allowed Orion Group to stage an Draco invasion underground in secret deception. The Draco of Orion Grouptunnels between Lemuria and Atlantian continents. Humans found out and tried to seal off underground tunnels with cataclysmic result that destroyed the earth surface.

Earth core implosions destroy portions of the Pacific Ocean Continent – inner earth and underground tunnels are rendered unstable. Earthquakes, Volcanoes, Floods and Sinkholes wreak devastation, killing thousands of humans. The forthcoming Ice age forced the Lemurians underground. While underground they started to organize the rebuilding of planetary Portals, and repair the Arc Gate with Guardian Groups.

This was the first stage of planetary cataclysm that is the hidden history and memories of the human root races that is recorded in our DNA, and of which the Negative Aliens wants us to forget this memory so they can continue to manipulate humanities into the Armageddon Software which is based on these previous Timelines of holocaust and genocide memories.