#unspoortive parents

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Aiden’s Journey

Awhile ago my English teacher gave us an assignment to write a narrative essay so I uh wrote it in 1st person and using my name “Aiden” and my middle name “Aileen” because this story is a reflection of my fears, and this story is about a transgender. Before you start (probably won’t cause no one cares...) this doesn't happen in real life and I'm not a senior this is just my life but there are some changes and there are some parts that are real but you won’t know. If you have any questions, comments or concerns message me. Okay I hope you enjoy.

Aiden’s Journey

        I used to remember how everything felt so wrong. Having to wear dresses soon become like a dull color, no longer getting excited whenever I tried one on. Every time my friends called me. She or her, I would feel my stomach clench. Months pass by and I try to ignore how my name Aileen no longer has an effect on me. My name used to be what I loved but now it feels like nails on a chalkboard, always making me shiver with how bad it sounds. When I came home the first thing I did was research/ research on why I was feeling this way. Weeks go by and I still haven’t found the answer until one day I come across this club called LGBT. Intrigued by this discovery I decided to join. The club was cool, but my questions still weren’t answered, until one faithful day. “A transgender is a person who identifies as the opposite sex.” A club member said. From that point on I knew what to research. It took me awhile to fully understand what a transgender is, and I realized I was one, well a trans male means female to male. Once I found this term everything started to feel right, but hearing Aileen still hurt so I decided to look for a different name. although it took me awhile to find the perfect one, I had finally found it. Aiden, meaning Little Fire, it almost seemed too prefect to be true. Aiden described me so well and I knew that I was ready to tell my two best friends. Lilah and Jaxson, these two are the most important people to ever come into my life. They were here when I needed them most, and now I can reveal my true self. I can now tell them I am no longer the girl who loved to wear dresses or put make-up on. Although I’m still the friend who enjoyed watching movies and who loved to eat, I am the same person, but better.

             The next day I texted Lilah and Jaxson to meet me in front of our school. Once the message was sent I started to get ready, the butterflies in my stomach were unsettling. I was just so nervous; the feeling just wouldn’t go away. Once I was dresses and ready to go I headed out to my car and drove to school. During the drive, all the possibilities started to swarm my head, possibilities that they’ll reject me and bully me. The paranoia was over flooding my mind, that was until I saw the familiar building of my high school. Since I was a senior I already have my drivers permit as do my friends, well only Lilah has hers since Jaxson doesn’t own a car just yet.

“Hey guys” I yelled as I parked the car.

“Hey there food snatcher” Jaxson replied clearly still butthurt that I stole his last chicken nugget. Meanwhile Lilah smiled at me, waiting for me to speak. I take a deep breath and start from the beginning. I tell my friends how everyday started to feel more and more grey, and how confused I felt, how I questioned myself repeatedly asking if I was normal. I told them about the club I joined and how that’s where I found put the term “transgender”. As I kept talking their faces remained blank, so I told them more. Told them that if they could call me “Aiden” now and not Aileen and if they could use he/him pronouns. Watching their faces made me realize that I should probably stop so they could take in the new information I just told them. Watching their faces felt like torture, because no emotions passed until Lilah turned to Jaxson holding twenty dollars, meanwhile I stood there shocked at what I just witnessed,

“You guys betted on me? wait so you knew…this entire time” I shouted. Meanwhile my friends were laughing at my shocked face.

“Of course, we knew, I mean we saw you enter the LGBT Club and after a while you started to flinch whenever someone said your dead name” Lilah stated.

I was shocked, not a single thought passed my head, but after a while, the looks on my friends made me realize that they accept me and that they still love me. Overfilled with joy I hugged them, crushing them in my arms. Although the bell had rand meaning that the moment is over and it’s time for class. I let go of them and walked with them to class. Unfortunately, we all had separate classes, so we usually meet in the front after school. Once we reached inside the school we all headed in separate directions. Although none of us knew that the school bullies had accidentally overheard me saying I was trans. Unfortunately, my school wasn’t as accepting like my friends are, and for a brief second, I forgot. I forgot that Steve, Craig, and Zach, the school bullies hated me, and because I was distracted by the fact my best friends understand and still love me, I never noticed the evil glare in his eyes nor the sound of a phone being pulled out from Steve’s bag.

          Class has already started, and not even ten minutes in, the class phone rings. I look up for a brief second before continuing to read my book. I was so invested in my book that I didn’t notice my English teacher heading toward my desk. I looked up when I heard him clear his throat.

“Ms.” I flinch “Rosco pack your things you are going home, head to the attendance office.” He said as he walks away.

Gathering my things, I started to head to the attendance office, confused as to why I was handing home. After a few turns I was standing in front of the office, and for some reason I felt my stomach clench in fear. I tried to shake off this feeling, taking a deep breathe I open the door and when I entered I saw my parents.

“Mom, Dad? What are you doing here? I questioned noticing that they refused to look me in the eye.

“Can we go now” my father asked the secretary.

“yes, have a good day” she smiled as she turns back to her task. As we walk to the car, so many questions fill my head. Why are they here? They never pick me up and why do they seem like they are about to explode. I wanted to say something, just so I could break the tension, but the fear was too overwhelming. After ten minutes of awkward silence we finally arrive.

        I really didn’t want to be the first person to say something, but as time flew by, the house was still quiet. Tired of the silence I spoke up, which turned out to be a mistake.

“Mom what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong, what’s wrong!” she screams, “We just got a call from some kid calling our daughter” I flinch at the statement “a tranny!”

My eyes widen, surprised and scared to hear that my parents now know. Struck by fear I couldn’t move it felt that there were bricks wearing me down, preventing me from moving.

“When were you going to tell us” my father speaks up.

“I wasn’t” I reply feeling the tension grow thicker.

“So, you were just going to never tell us! Why” my parents screamed.

“Because you won’t accept me”

“Of course, we won’t! you were born as a girl and not as a boy! My mother is screaming, she looks so furious. I tried to listen to her shouts, but everything felt as I was in an ice cube. My body wasn’t responding, my mind screaming to run or say something, anything.

          “You are not a boy Aileen, you are a girl” my mother screams. It was that line that finally made me snap.

“I am not a girl, I am a boy and my name is Aiden Rosco” I yell back. I can feel the tears, finally going down my face.

“I no longer want to be called Aileen but as Aiden,” I stare at my mother. She too has tears failing down her face. I looked at my father and his eyes were blank, showing no emotion what so ever. The entire house was silent the only noise was my mother crying.

“Get out” my father says.

“What”

“I said get out. I don’t want you here until you stop saying all this nonsense.” My father says as he starts to walk away. I wanted to say something, anything to stop this from happening, to stop my life ending. The want to run to him, to ask for forgiveness is strong, but that would require me giving up on myself. This would mean I’m no longer Aiden but Aileen, I would deny my true self, for what? For the love of my parents, who don’t accept me? So, I could live everyday knowing that I have lost the two-important people in my life. I would have to be Aileen, I would have to hear my dead name, I will no longer be free they will keep me locked away.

At this point I am in tears, and with a final look around the house. I turn around with tears on my face and I head upstairs with full intentions to grab my stuff. The only things I took were some of my flannels, a few of my favorite books, my laptop and laptop charger, the phone charger and the money I have been saving. This money was meant to be used for college or something. Who would’ve thought that the money was going to be used this way. I put in a few more things in my bag and with one last look at my bedroom, the place where I grew up. I left. Once the door was closed I stayed still letting go of a breath I was holding. Taking a deep breathe I head downstairs ready to leave. When I reached the bottom, I can see my mother crying but she wasn’t looking my way. Already at the door, I turn back at my mother to hear something, anything but I realized she wasn’t going to look at me because she was ashamed, ashamed at me and at herself. With one final look at my house I turn opening the door. I’m almost out one foot already out the door, until,

“Was it something I did?” she asks letting the tears fall on her face once again.

“No, I just realized that I was meant for something better.” Without looking back, I step out completely closing the door, hoping my father realized he just lost his only child.

              Walking to my car I pull out my phone and call Lilah, I wanted to call them both on the group chat but remembered that Jaxson was busy with his family. Id didn’t realize that I no longer was outside but inside my car. Nor do I realize that Lilah was trying to gain my attention by screaming out my name.

“Aiden, Aiden AIDEN” I put the phone next to my ear.

“Yeah”

“Don’t yeah me, what’s wrong I have been trying to get your attention for like two minutes” she sounds concerned, but I feel blank, empty. I tell her before I start crying again,

“Lilah can I sleep at your house”

“Sure, but are you okay?” she sounds worried, so I just spit it out.

“My parents kicked me out.” The phone is silent. Everything is silent. Moments pass before she finally says something.

“What do you mean they kicked you out” I was excepting her to shout but she sounded concerned.

“Yeah, someone called a told them I was a tranny” I can feel Lilah’s anger

“They don’t accept me so, they kicked me out. Can I come over or well can I stay there for now?” I ask feeling the emotions rise again.

“Aiden, you can stay as long as you want”

                I could feel the tears that want to come out, but I hold it in. I hung up the minute I could no longer hold the tears in. I arrived at Lilah’s house with red puffy eyes, I cried once more in the car because everything had finally hit me, I no longer had a family. She invites me inside, everything is numb all I hear is that I’ll be sleeping in the same room as her. She takes my bags and tell me to sit down. Once I sat she comes in five minutes later with popcorn and ice cream. We watched movies until I passed out. I awake to a soft pink celling, I look around noticing this wasn’t my room and for a second I forgot, I forgot that I no longer have a family. All the memories rush back into my head. I wanted to cry, but I ran out of tears hours ago. Everything felt numb, the stoic is loud it feels like someone is screaming at me. I was so lost in this blank world that I never noticed two figures stand at the foot of the bed. These figures looked like they were talking but I just couldn’t hear them, they sound so distorted.

“Well what are we supposed to do!” the guy shouted, god why won’t he be quiet.

“We stay by his die and then we will find out who did this” the girl states. She seemed to be trying to be calm. I didn’t want to deal with, I wanted it to go away, so I slept ignoring the bickering voices.

               I wake up, this time its dark out. I turn my head to see a note placed on a tray with food and water.

“Aiden, I don’t really know what to say, I hate the people who rejected you. You are beautiful and unique. Jaxson and I are in the living room if you need us.

P.S: We left you a peanut butter jelly sandwich and water.

P.P.S: We were going to leave milk, but we didn’t want it to go bad.

Love Your Best Friends,

Lilah and Jaxson.”

I smile as I stare at the note. My friends are awesome. I stand up but before I move my stomach growls. Deciding I’ll eat the sandwich and then go downstairs was a smart idea because I basically devoured the sandwich. I drink the water and grab the tray, finally heading downstairs. Once I’m at the bottom I head to the kitchen to drop off the tray in the sink. I leave the kitchen and head into the living room where I see my best friends sleeping on the couch. A warm feeling settles in my stomach when I see them. They must have heard me because they are staring at me with a smile.  

“Hey guys” I say as I walk towards them. Out of nowhere both Lilah and Jaxson were bugging me. Any feeling of sadness disappeared, only focusing on the love that they gave.

“I’m sorry guys, thank you for dealing with me” I state “It’s fine Aiden we are your best friends and we love you.” Jaxson says while Lilah is still squeezing me.

“Um guys what do we do about school?” I honestly have no clue, I dint want to go, but I needed to, I needed to prove everyone wrong.

“We go to school, I am not hiding, but are you sure I can stay” I question. Lilah nods, and I feel myself relax.

           Two days later it’s finally Monday and time for school. Lilah and I are already dresses and once we leave the house we enter the car and head over to Jackson’s house to give him a ride. It didn’t take long to arrive at his house. We only exchanged a few words before we arrived at the school.

“Aiden are you sure about this” she sounds worried, and to be honest I’m scared but I need to do this.

“I’m ready”  

As usual we walk together until we need to go our separate ways. We all say bye and Lilah’s hug seems to last longer than usual. I pull away with one final look, I wave as I head towards my first class. Unfortunately, never arrived because Steve and his friends pulled me into the men’s restroom. Zach blocked the door while Steve and Craig stood over me.

           “You freaking tranny, you’re just a perverted piece of crap aren’t you” Craig spits at me. I can feel the fear, but I don’t let it show.

“Oh, by the way how is the homeless life, I heard that your family kicked you out” I can hear the mockery in Steve’s voice. I want to cry, I can feel the tears already, but I won’t give him the satisfaction, I won’t let him win. But at least I know who told my parents.

“Good, in fact thanks you helped me get rid of two toxic people.” I reply with a smug.

I can feel the anger from Steve. I never noticed Zach and Craig coming closer. I didn’t notice until I was pinned down. All the confidence I had was gone. I was so scared, but I couldn’t do anything. Steve is talking but I can’t hear him, both Jaxson and Lilah’s face appear in my head. My confidence was back, so I breathed in and shouted as loud as I possibly can. Steve didn’t like that, he covered my mouth with his hand. When I bite his hand, he screams but then he raises his fist and just as he is about to punch me another group of students enter. Steve stopped halfway, he too was confused.

“Let go of him” one of the kids says.

“Let go of who? you mean her, nah man in fact you should leave while you still have a chance.” Steve responds, putting his fist down for the moment. It looks like Steve can’t scare this kid, or so I thought.

“Alright” and with that the mystery kid walks back out the door. Not even a second after Steve’s smirk comes back as he raises his arm yet again.

I closed my eyes waiting for the punch, but it never came. I open my eyes surprised to see the assistant principle at the door. I look at Steve and his friends they all looked horrified. I wanted to laugh but that wouldn’t look right in my perspective. The assistant principle doesn’t even say anything as she takes Steve off me and takes them to her office. I lay in shock on the bathroom floor until the mystery guy offers a hand. Accepting his offer, I grab his hand and suddenly I realize he is shorter than me, and with this new knowledge we start to laugh.

“Hi, my name is Aiden, thanks for saving me from Steve” I hold out my hand waiting for him to introduce his self.

“Hey, my name is Talon, and these are my friends, Wade, Sabra, and Macy” I wave at them.

“Are you okay?” I think that was Sabra.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine thank you, but for your sakes you guys probably shouldn’t be seen with a freak like me” they stare at me in confusion.

“I’m a transgender, or as I like to say trans male.” I wait for them to start laughing but what Talon said surprised me.

“That’s really cool, nut you’re not the only one. As you see Sabra is also trans but she’s trans female. Wade here is genderfluid meaning he can be any gender depending on how he feels, Macy here is Panromantic, meaning she has romantic interest with male, female and in between, and finally me, I am nonbinary. I don’t use she/her or he/him pronouns, only they/them although I’m okay with he/him pronouns.” Once Talon was done my face had a huge smile.

“Oh my god, you guys are awesome! I should introduce you to my two best friends.” I smile as I realize I probably just made four new friends.

                      Four years have gone by since my parents rejected me, four years since I’ve known Talon, Wade, Sabra and Macy. It’s been four years since I graduated high school. The bullies were suspended and stuck in detention for a week. I have moved on, I’m in a better place. Lilah and Jaxson and I moved in together in an apartment with two bedrooms. It would seem like a problem but turns out that Jaxson and Lilah started sating after high school. Apparently, they’ve liked each other for so long, but were too afraid to get rejected. Also, Lilah believed that any high school relationships never last too long after they graduate. Although they are adorable, so I let them off the hook. Talon and their friends got along well with mine. Graduation came along and we all became best friends. Unfortunately, we got separated since Lilah, Jaxson and I applied to the same college we still saw each other. Although Talon and Sabra applied to the same college Macy and Wade applied to another. It was hard to see them go but we usually all get together, every occasionally.

“Aiden get the door” Lilah yells. I made sure to groan out loudly, so she could hear.

When I opened the door, I was so happy to see Talon and Sabra. The minute they both entered I pulled them into a hug.

“Oh my god guys I missed you so much!” After a few more hugs I close the door only for the door bell top ring again. I open the door

“Wade my babe!” I laugh at my statement.

“Mace my base” he laughs at my terrible rhymes.

“Really that’s all you got” he laughs.

“Hey that was a good one” we look at each other and smile. With one more hug, I grabbed their coats and as I watch them walk, I realize I’m no longer suffering. Everything feels right, all my best friends are here, and although my parents and I never talked again, I’ve learned to accept it. These people in front of me are my family.

“C’mon Aiden you’re going to miss out on all the fun!” Jaxson shouts. I smile, watching these people in front of me, these people are my family and I love them, and although my parents rejected me, I don’t wish for it any other way. I wouldn’t change it because then I would have never met all of these people.

“Aiden” they all scream in unison.

“I’m coming, I’m coming jeez” I laugh and realize, I am finally home.