#unless we’re like super close (ie my sister)

[summ3rhead]

How do I tell people I still love and respect them but simply cannot make myself hold eye contact with them for even a second without telling them I still love and respect them but simply cannot make myself hold eye contact with them for even a second????

[thetruthaboutbeliza]

The Truth

A thread of Beliza’s innocence. 

To start out the Pilot for The 100 was filmed in July of 2013 and Season 1 started filming in August of 2013. This would’ve been when Bob and Eliza first became friends. It IS possible they had a brief fling during this time, however there’s nothing to confirm or deny that. 

It’s believed that Bob started dating a girl named Jane Gosden sometime in 2014 and they broke up sometime in 2015. I had trouble finding information about Jane originally and the only source I had found online said they dated 2014-2015 however, that is incorrect. They were together for a few years and broke up some time after May 2014. Jane actually still has quite a few photos on her Instagram of her and Bob together and her with his family. She still interacts with Bob’s sister on a frequent basis as well. I’m still not 100% sure when they started dated but, they were at least together from 2012-2014.

Bob and Arryn met in April 2015 at Supanova in Australia. We know this by photos of them at the con together. Below you can see Bob in the green hat in the back next to Arryn. Barbara is also in the center there in light blue. There are a few other photos of Arryn, Barb, and Bob hanging out during Supanova. 

Arryn and Miles Luna were dating from 2010 until some time in mid 2015 (either May, June, or July). They wrote blog posts confirming their break up in August 2015 and stated they’d been broken up for a little while but didn’t want to announce it until after RTX. In Arryn’s post detailing their break up it is important to note she cited Australia as a reason for their break up.

Everyone wants to attack Bob and Eliza for “moving on quickly” from their exes, specifically Bob from Arryn but, Arryn literally left Miles for Bob. Did they cheat? I don’t know. No one does. But she clearly fell for Bob during Supanova and decided to leave her family/friends/boyfriend behind and pursue Bob and a life in LA. Now it is important to note that she said she wasn’t moving until the END of September 2015. At that point in time she was ALREADY traveling quite frequently out to Vancouver. Vancouver is where The 100 filmed. Some of the cast had photos with her during this time, she was being tagged in posts with them and Bob, her and Bob were talking often on Twitter, and in some of her photos that were more “cryptic” (ie. photos of her at a coffee shop with her and someone else’s shoes) she mentioned something about “Aussies knowing how to do it right.” Bob is Australian. 

So sometime in July 2015 she started traveling often to Vancouver. August 2015 she officially announces her split from Miles but stated they’d been broken up for a bit but didn’t want to tell anyone until after RTX and that she’d be moving to LA to “pursue her dreams” by the end of September 2015. This pretty much confirms that the Anon Twitter account TruevFalse was correct in stating that Arryn still lived with her ex Miles for a brief time when her and Bob started dating. We don’t have the EXACT date/time of them officially starting to date but they were clearly talking seriously July-Aug 2015 if she was flying out that often to Vancouver where he was filming. At some other point she later specifically stated that she moved to LA for Bob. I’m not sure if this was in stream or where she stated this but, I’ve seen multiple people cite that she said that. Confirming she broke up with Miles for Bob. That alone should stop people from automatically attacking Bob and Eliza for getting together quickly. Was it quick? Yes. Even IF that had been cheating like Arryn claims - they wouldn’t have been in a relationship. Having an affair isn’t a real relationship and getting married a few months after officially dating is still fairly fast - cheating or not - but, that’s not for anyone else to comment on. Plenty of people have done something similar - hell some people get married weeks after meeting someone. When you know, you know. But if you’re going to attack them automatically for moving quickly, “Eliza stealing Bob”, or Bob leaving Arryn for Eliza - then you should be equally upset with Arryn for doing the same thing previously to be with Bob.

On to the abuse allegations. She states that Bob was controlling and isolated her from her family and friends and that she had no friends in LA. But that’s 100% HER doing. As I stated, she literally LEFT her boyfriend/friends/family/job to move out to LA where she knew no one to be with Bob. If you’re telling me he forced her to do all of that before they were even dating - you’re crazy. I do believe she left to pursue a better future in LA but, her main motive for moving was Bob. From there he then invited her into his group of friends (The 100 cast) and quite often she was out with certain members of the cast WITHOUT Bob present. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a controlling/abusive relationship but, I have. Also doing any sort of research on the topic will come to a very similar conclusion: abusers/controlling partners do not want you to have ANY friends, they especially don’t want you hanging out with THEIR friends outside of them being with you, and if they don’t like someone they tell you not to be friends with them, associate with them, or hang around them. Arryn was with The 100 cast a ton, like I said, a lot of times she was with them without Bob around. She quite often did photoshoots when she was home in LA with a friend, and she was still constantly hanging out with Barbara. My reason for bringing Barbara up is a few. 1) Arryn claimed Bob specifically didn’t like Barbara and thought she was a bad friend. This *could* be true, who knows. But if we’re going by Arryn claiming Bob was controlling, then he would’ve told her not to be friends with Barbara. Period. Now yes, Arryn would’ve had to see Barbara on occasion for cons or while they were doing promotion work for RWBY but, he probably would’ve told her to limit her interaction with Barbara during those times and outside of that - not communicate with her. That is what an abuser/controller does. 2) My other reason for bringing Barbara into this is because of Barbara’s boyfriend Trevor Collins and his ex Emily. Emily has talked about the abuse she suffered from Trevor for years during their relationship. She was much younger than he was and when they started dating he was controlling/abusive. She specifically stated she was NOT allowed to be friends with his friends or talk to them unless he was around and that he cheated on her with a co-worker (Barbara) and that they manipulated her by calling her crazy while she had suspicions but they denied it. Now that sounds awfully familiar to Arryn’s story and it’s quite hypocritical for Arryn to know her best friend did this and then to hate Eliza for “doing the same thing”. Here are pieces of Emily’s statement/story. Did Arryn steal part of her story for her own? I can’t say for sure. It’s also important to note Trevor is part of RTX which Miles, Barbara, and Arryn were/are a part of and that the “friend group” Emily was referring to probably included Arryn but, I’m not 100% sure on that.

Another part of Arryn’s story was that Bob FORCED her to be friends with Eliza. So he can FORCE her to be friends with someone but can’t FORCE her to not be friends with Barbara even though she specifically mentions he didn’t like her? She said he forced her to be friends with Eliza even though he had told her he “hated” Eliza but, I’m not sure when he would’ve possibly hated her as Eliza and Bob have been friends since filming began. There’s never not been interaction/photos/hanging out of those two. They’ve always been adamant about being best friends/super close. And Arryn was often seen with Eliza, again, without Bob around. I could imagine Bob trying to force her to be friends/friendly with Eliza while he brought Eliza around but, it’s incredibly odd he’d somehow force Arryn to hang out with Eliza on her own. 

On to the accusation of Bob being a biphobe and that he was not happy with her being bisexual. This one is just incredibly wrong for multiple reasons. Firstly, a few people defending Arryn have stated Bob has never shown any sort of support for Bisexuals or LGBTQ and that’s false. He’s actually been fairly vocal (to Bob’s standards anyways as he’s not very vocal on Social Media in general) about LGBTQ rights/support and has commented quite a few times about how proud he was to be a part of a show where they had a leading lady being Bisexual. Bob was also part of one of Australia’s first gay kiss scenes on tv. He went to Pride with Richard well before Arryn ever did and according to her statement she says “when he found out I was bisexual he was furious” but Arryn has always been openly Bisexual. She was constantly talking about it during on twitter during the time they were constantly tweeting each other back and forth before she officially broke up with Miles. There’s no possible way Bob didn’t know Arryn was bisexual before dating her. If he was biphobic, he simply wouldn’t have dated her, nor would he constantly be showing support for LGBTQ over the years. Arryn also frequently talked about being Bisexual still while they were dating. She was never not open about that. 

Those above are some of the times he’s been vocal about Bisexual/LGBTQ rights/support. He’s also a fan of Tegan and Sara and has liked a few posts of theirs. Then we have the post from yesterday of Eliza talking about being proud to represent Bisexuals by playing Clarke and Bob taking the photo/liking the post.

With Arryn deactivating her Twitter I can’t go through and find all the times she was open about being Bisexual while with Bob but, here are two instances I could find. So she never stopped talking about her sexuality while with Bob.

One of the biggest holes in Arryn’s story is when she talks about how she got a rental property for her and Bob in Australia and after doing the paperwork and moving everything in, shortly after he dumped her to be with Eliza and that they stole the place from her and that he never intended for that to be their place. The first thing about that is there was never a place in Australia - the place in Australia that Bob and Eliza have was BOUGHT by them and is NOT the place Arryn is referring to. I was incorrect about this statement - I got confused and thought Arryn had said in her statement that the house was in Australia but, she said “The Hills” and I remembered seeing some fans attacking Bob for posting photos of their house in Australia on his cover on Facebook as “rubbing it in her face” and combined those in my head. So I apologize. 

The place Arryn is referring to is the rental place in LA. I’m not sure how she made that error or why she didn’t correct it but, there’s that. So Eliza and Bob “stole” the rental home from her but, later on in her statement she confirms that she actually DID live in the rental house and that she left because she got spooked when fans found out she was looking for roommates since she couldn’t afford to live there by herself. She states that herself and plenty of fans have confirmed remembering seeing her looking for roommates during that time. Bob gave her the place originally, she couldn’t afford it and got scared, so she gave it back to him. That is the house where Bob and Eliza are currently staying at during quarantine in LA.  Now according to Eliza’s story of when her and Bob got together she states that she had signed a one year lease with her friend Nina in Vancouver sometime in Feb. 2019 and in March 2019 when they were unpacking Bob came over and asked her on a date. Going back to Arryn’s story, this couldn’t be true since according to her they were having an affair for at least 6 months that she knew of and that her getting their rental house in LA in December 2018 was essentially for Bob and Eliza she just didn’t know that at the time. These photos from Nina’s Instagram/Stories confirm Eliza’s side of the story.

So Eliza was still with Nina until at least May 2019. It wasn’t until June 2019 that Eliza was officially living with Bob and they had gotten Panda. 

If they stole this place from her, why did they not move in together until June?

Another part of Arryn’s story is about how she “caught” them together on camera while she was in New Zealand. That trip by the way, she was with her mother while Bob was home in LA recovering from knee surgery. She went on a trip with her mother (aka family that Bob isolated her from) while he was recovering from surgery. You’d think someone controlling would force her to stay and take care of them. Shortly after she “caught” them cheating, she publicly announced how much she missed Eliza and wished her a happy birthday via Instagram. So this was the “6 months” she was referring to, she “caught” them together, and then 6 months later in Feb 2019 he dumped her for Eliza. However, up until Jun 2019 (when they officially married/moved in together), Arryn was STILL friendly with them both on social media. Now I understand people want to say “well she was brainwashed by them, it makes sense”. Again, if you’ve been in a situation like this the moment you’re free from your abuser/s you cut the chord. It makes no sense she’d continue to be friendly with them both AFTER catching them cheating, AFTER he dumped her for Eliza and “stole” the house she got for them, and AFTER escaping her abuser. Giving her the benefit of the doubt and she did still feel the need to be attached to her abuser/s for a while after the break up, why was it that when she caught them cheating 6 months prior did she only claim she felt betrayed by one of her close friends and cut them off completely in June 2019 after Beliza announced their marriage? She had no problem cutting off the “betrayer” then. 

The youtube video below is an interview featuring Barbara and Arryn May 14th 2019 where at she talks about the betrayal. She says she had a friend betray a huge amount of trust even though they thought they were close and the best way to deal with it was to cut them completely off. (This was clearly about Eliza and is around the 53:00 mark). Mind you, going back to her statement she claims Bob “forced” them to be friends. In this same interview she also talks about getting a therapist (around 10:49 mark) “for no reason in particular” and “doesn’t know what she even needs help with” other than her anxiety and feeling like she didn’t want to dump all her problems on friends and wanted someone to talk to. She talks very light hearted about it and in no way indicates that she’s seeking therapy for an abusive relationship or anything similar. While watching this interview, at (29:40) is where she actually confirms moving to LA with a significant other. Confirming earlier that she left Miles for Bob. She also says that she found most of her friends were through said significant other (Bob) and although she’s friends with them even though they aren’t together anymore, she doesn’t have too many friends outside of that relationship but, (again she’s very light-hearted talking about this) that it’s because she spent so much time around them that your friends become theirs and vise versa and that she “really doesn’t want to make friends because she’s comfortable being alone”. She later (around 42:00) talks about how pretty much ALL of her friends have been because of boyfriends. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvBtaCp_5Ro&ab_channel=RoosterTeeth

Now then, in her other statement she mentions her relationship with Miles briefly because people brought up that she cheated on him. She states “they were consenting adults in their relationship and he was okay with me being with a woman”. This is only true to a degree - he was technically okay with it, however she cheated FIRST, she started making out with a girl while drunk and he saw it and him and his friends thought it was “hot”. Afterwards she asked him if it was fine and he said “yes because I’m right here and it’s hot”. He also basically implies that he’d be “okay” with his girlfriend cheating with another girl but not a man. This is all from HIS mouth. Not only is all of that completely derogatory to bisexuals (I’m bi just FYI), it cancels out her statement of them talking about her being with another girl beforehand and him being okay with it because they did NOT talk about it before. He simply said he was okay with her being bi. 

Here’s the video: https://twitter.com/klarkbell/status/1294995706906849281?s=20 In her statement she also claims that Bob cheated on his previous ex (Jane) with Eliza. How would she know this first of all? And secondly, Jane is actually still close with his family. I can’t imagine she would be if he cheated on her. Especially because they dated for a little over a year where him and Arryn dated for over 3 years. Bob’s family cut off Arryn but, not Jane. It’s also a bit odd to me that Arryn’s mother is still friends with Bob’s mother. Terry is Bob’s mother, Bev is Arryn’s. 

Next we have the video that stirred Arryn’s statement to begin with where she was on stream saying “the last two women I dated were batshit, actually most women are batshit” and then proceeded to say that she has a history of dating “psychopaths and narcissists”. These are all incredibly gross statements and if you find yourself claiming that ALL of your relationships are either psychos, narcissists, and/or batshit - you should probably check yourself.

https://twitter.com/klarkbell/status/1302700329138565122?s=20

She says she’s terrified of Bob, always has been and still is. However, she never once claimed he was physically abusive. I don’t know a single person who’s been emotionally/mentally abusive who has ever used the term “afraid” when talking about the abuser. The ex I had that was controlling and the ex I had that was mentally abusive both had a lot of issues, they were assholes, toxic, and terrible partners but, I was never once afraid of them. I’ve dealt with a narcissist (actually the ex of my partner who has bullied/harassed me, not an ex of my own) and while being a pathological liar is a trait of a narcissist - it doesn’t make you automatically a narcissist to be a pathological liar and/or toxic. Nothing she describes = narcissist. So it’s not okay that she uses that term to describe Bob or any of her exes. Talk to anyone who’s been physically abused and you’ll get the statement of them being scared and/or terrified. However, you’ll also get a vastly different reaction from them compared to Arryn’s on how they speak about the abuse they endured and their abuser. If you’re scared of someone after being abused, you don’t call them names, you don’t laugh about name calling, or about the abuse you endured (no, not even to “break tension”), you’re terrified - you’re scared of speaking out extremely vocally because of “what they might do to you”. I’d also like to mention it’s extremely rare for the abuser to dump the victim. They’re controlling/abusive to KEEP you around, they SCARE you to KEEP you around. Not dump you to be with someone else. 

Abusive people also don’t just magically change/get better. They have a history of being this way and more often than not continue to be that way to future partners. Arryn claims Bob wasn’t supportive of anything she did, didn’t let her sing/do music, isolated her from family and friends, refused therapy. Yet, with Eliza it’s incredibly different. She’s always with friends/family and he’s often with them as well. She sings/does music as well and he’s supportive of it and everything she does including her foundation. And, he’s in therapy. They both are so she can figure out how to be a better partner for him due to his extreme depression/suicidal thoughts. I’d also like to remind you that Bob bought Arryn a new keyboard for her birthday one year and was supportive of her being in a friend’s music video in 2018.

Arryn was told at some point in a stream I guess about Bob going to therapy and she said something along the lines of “good for him although I doubt he’s changed”. If she didn’t think it was possible he could change, why did she say she tried to get him into therapy and he refused for years? Why would he refuse therapy but, go into therapy within months of being with Eliza? Since breaking up with Arryn, Bob has been incredibly vocal on social media about his mental health struggles where when he was with her he was fairly silent. He occasionally posted support for mental health awareness but, nothing compared to what he does now. Almost like his mental health got incredibly bad while dating Arryn and he was hiding it from the public/not allowed to talk about it. 

I want to say that the abuse and harassment Arryn apparently endured from The 100 fans while dating Bob and even after is completely uncalled for and I do feel bad that she had to go through that. No one deserves that. However, it’s important to also remember that there is absolutely NOTHING Bob could’ve done to stop that. Nothing he could say that would force people to stop saying shit. People are going to do what they are going to do regardless. True fans, should’ve been happy for him and supported his relationship. No celebrity can control their fans and the few times some of them have spoken out about their fans doing shit like this - nothing happened or it made the fans worse. Bottom line is fans have a problem of feeling entitled and that celebrities/their fav should listen to them. People didn’t like Arryn and nothing Bob said was going to change that. It’s incredibly naive to hold anyone accountable for someone else’s behavior. Much the same as Arryn isn’t able to control her fans doing the SAME thing to Beliza now. Bob and Eliza have both always been very open about how they don’t approve of bullying, harassment, and that you should “be kind”. That alone should be enough for fans to know not to harass/bully someone. They’ve both received hate mail, death threats, been told it’s good Eliza had a miscarriage and they hope she’s sterile, had mail sent to their house, etc. and they haven’t openly talked about that. They haven’t “told fans to knock it off”. Hell their marriage was literally found out by fans before they wanted to announce it because they found Eliza’s number and called her. That’s crossing a line too and harassing them but, they STILL didn’t say anything publicly. They instead announced their marriage and just said “we ask for privacy during this time”. So it makes no sense that you’d expect them or ANY celebrity for that matter - to have control over their fans, “force” their fans to stop doing shit, and blame them for what their fans do/have done. 

I do not believe that Bob is completely innocent. I believe their relationship was incredibly toxic and bad for them both and they probably brought out the worst in each other. I don’t doubt they had yelling matches and probably said mean things to one another. However, I 100% believe it was a MUTUAL thing. Arryn is NOT innocent or the victim/survivor and Bob is NOT the animal she’s making him out to be. It sounds more like she, not only felt betrayed by Bob and Eliza getting together, but that she was tired of their fans harassing her for years and continuing even after they broke up/got together that the only thing she could think to do was release a statement and throw Bob completely under the bus to save herself. If she’s painted as the victim and Bob the villain then surely the harassment will stop. Especially with how people blindly believe any statement released in regards to abuse or rape. After experiencing years of harassment she only decides to deactivate her twitter after people poked holes in her story and she realized not everyone believed her and she was STILL getting harassment. Again, she doesn’t deserve the constant harassment. I believe that is what pushed her to this point. No, it’s not okay that she’s lied and done this by any means but, I think she felt backed into a corner and lashed out. I can understand where she’s coming from, even though it doesn’t excuse it or make it right. 

One last note, something I remembered: she specifically stated Bob was the reason she deactivated Youtube and stopped posting/being on social media as much. However, she slowly stopped doing that while with Miles and in her statement about breaking up with him said she’d be taking a hiatus from Youtube but, would be back. However, I think she just decided against that because she wanted to unplug and live life. 

Now one of the major things everyone says is proof of her statement is that Bob has been silent. I’d like to remind you that usually guilty parties deny deny and are vocal. Bob’s silence is more proof to me that he’s innocent. He knows no matter what he says - won’t matter. If he denies it, people will say he’s lying. The victim/survivor wants to move on, they want to forget the abuser, don’t acknowledge them and just want to be happy. All of the things BOB is doing, not Arryn. I’ve seen people say “if he’s innocent he’d sue her for slander” however, how is that any different than the countless rape/physical abuse victims that don’t come forward or call the cops/take them to court? They don’t want to relive all that. They want to move on. The damage has already been done with her statement, same way as even though Amber Heard was proven a liar in court - the damage was/is done. Johnny still isn’t going to be able to work with Disney again, certain people STILL defend Amber despite the court findings/evidence. What would be the purpose of him denying it? The man is in therapy because he incredibly depressed/suicidal and looks so much happier/healthier in his marriage with Eliza. He just wants to leave it all behind. Denying it/suing her will just continue the lengthy process of moving on from everything and re-stir the pot. I’d also like to throw in there the fact that proving emotional/mental abuse is incredibly hard so it’s not like taking her to court over slander would really do anything. Johnny was able to fight his case because it was physical abuse and there was countless amounts of evidence/witnesses/documents/photos etc. Most people don’t have any solid evidence against mental/emotional abuse because it happens in person/in the moment. Unless you’re recording everything, you won’t have proof. It’s just he said/she said. That’s why the majority of Arryn’s statement was about cheating and not the abuse. 

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Reality Check-Euphoria Imagine

Requested: No Warnings: mentions of trauma and a scene of an attempted sexual assault

A/N: I’m back from a super long break! I am so sorry I have not been able to update this blog since I started grad school but I have a bit of a break to write a bit. I just finished Euphoria so after this imagine, I’ll get started on the requests.

I own nothing from Euphoria and do not claim to own anything

Gif is from:geek-ramblings

Everything in italics in the story is Rue’s narration

Y/N Y/L/N wanted to be a princess for as long as she could remember. It didn’t hurt that every Disney movie and other piece of media designed for little girls endorsed this dream. One of those movies was the 1997 Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella starring Whitney Houston, Brandi, Whoopi Goldberg, and Victor Garber. It was the first time Y/N saw a princess who looked like her and it solidified that her dreams were possible. She watched that movie every day for three years and knows the soundtrack by heart. When her older cousin, McKay, irritated her, she would belt “Impossible/It’s Possible” at the top of her lungs in retaliation. While McKay was pushed to his limits on the football field, Y/N would twirl around in her living room during the ballroom sequence, pretending as though she had a dashing partner who would whisk her away. Her parents didn’t mind this dream since it suggested that she was as “normal” as a little girl could be. Eventually, Y/N’s mother put her in dance classes so that she could learn how to be graceful and dance with real people. Y/N fell in love with dancing since it gave her a way to express herself without speaking. Y/N was one of the sweetest people ever, but she was so shy and nervous, and I didn’t get it. Once she got comfortable, she actually had some things to say and a decent sense of humor. What she rarely let anyone know was she still dreamed of finding her prince, even though East Highland was overrun with frogs. In middle school, Y/N focused on studying and dancing while everyone else was practice dating (ie talking for a few hours on Facebook Messenger and avoiding eye contact in the hallway save a few nervous glances). She was hopeful that she would meet her prince in high school since that’s how it worked in the movies and what her older cousins had her believe. Y/N learned quickly that high was not like the movies and did not entertain herself with frivolous things, something Maddy called her out on at lunch one day.

  “I’m right so don’t even try to fight me about it,” Maddy affirmed from across the table.

  The cafeteria was busy and smelled of semi-fresh food and bubblegum. Y/N, Maddy, Cassie, BB, and Kat sat at their usual table. Y/N paused mid-bite into her cucumber sandwich and closed her mouth as soon as she realized it was hanging open.

  “What?”

  “You don’t do anything outside of school and dance team unless we drag you out and that needs to change,” Maddy insisted.

  “I do other things,” Y/N said hesitantly.

 “Yeah, like what? And it can’t be anything that you would use for college!”

   Y/N racked her brain for a few moments. “Well, I watch movies and I read----”

  “Fun things!” Maddy interrupted.

  “Like gettin’  d-ck,” BB added.

  Y/N’s face warmed up and she looked away from BB. “B, why’d you have to say it like that?”

  “Well, at the end of the day, all that romance sh-t you’re into is just a pretty form of foreplay.”

  “No, it’s not, they’re displays of affection and they’re beautiful. I know you all think romance is dead but I can’t and I don’t want to settle for that.” Y/N nodded her head in the direction of a table of guys who were concocting potions by mixing up the lunch of day with milk.

  Cassie grabbed Y/N’s hand. “No one would expect you of all people to settle, but you haven’t dated anyone and there are some good guys in this town if not in this school. We just want to see you happy.”

 Y/N could tell that Cassie was being sincere by the look in her eyes, all her friends were, but they also knew why Y/N behaved a certain way. The summer before eighth grade, Y/N saw the texts on her mom’s phone between her and a man that was not Y/N’s dad. It sickened her to her core, and she had no idea how to process it. Suddenly, her parents’ nightly arguments coupled with her mother’s late returns from nights out with “a friend” made more sense. She did not tell either of them that she knew and kept quiet about it. If she did not acknowledge it, she thought it would go away. She threw herself into dancing and studying, which did not raise any eyebrows. One night, Y/N, Maddy, Cassie, Lexi, and I went to the movies to see a Twilight movie. When she stepped out to get a popcorn refill, she saw her mother standing on the other side of the theater, smiling and flirting with a man who had to be in his seventies. Y/N managed to keep it together until we got back to Cassie and Lexie’s, where she broke down and told us everything. We hugged her and tried to calm her down, but there was nothing we could say that would repair her heart. Y/N’s mom officially stopped cheating when Y/N was fifteen but by then, the damage was already done. Her parents wanted to work on their marriage but neglected their child’s emotional and mental wellbeing since Y/N was so good and pretending she was fine. Her grades were excellent, she was the youngest co-captain of East Highland High’s dance team, and she stayed out of trouble. But if you really look at her, you can see the heartbreak in her big, coffee-colored eyes. Despite this, Y/N was convinced that there was a great guy out there for her, but she was extremely reluctant to date. She prayed that college would be better than high school and she would find the courage to date then.

  “I love and appreciate your guys’ concern so much, but I am not about to give up my,” Y/N paused and glanced around the cafeteria before whispering, “virginity just to fit in, no offense.”

  “Come on, Y/N, you may look and act all pure but you have to be dying to know what good d-ck feels like,” Maddy whined.

  She had been, Y/N was human and not a total saint after all.

  “I can wait, really.”

  “So, have you just not been interested in any guys? I know plenty who are interested in you,” Cassie added.

 “What?” Y/N was baffled by the loaded statement.

 “Come on, Y/N, you know you’re hot,” Kat said.

  “Your legs go up to your neck, Sis,” BB blurted as she nibbled on a Twizzler.

 “Your face is basically perfectly symmetrical, it disgusts me,” Maddy said, emphasizing her statement with hand gestures.

  Y/N chuckled nervously under the attention. “Thanks, guys.”

  “But, is there anyone that interests you?”

  Y/N glanced down at the tops of her metallic rose gold sandals. “No, not really.”

  That was a total f-cking lie. Since fourth grade, Y/N harbored a crush on Nate that was fueled by when he shoved Caleb Parker after Caleb shoved Y/N during a game of tag in gym class. When Nate helped her stand on her feet, he was basically her knight in shining armor. Nate fit Y/N’s type perfectly: tall, dark hair, dark eyes, killer smile, and kind. Y/N never said anything, but anyone could tell just by observing the way she looked at him and the fact that she could never string together a decent sentence around him. This did not stop her from daydreaming about him and watching him from afar. She thought that maybe she could impress him with her dancing, and he would be forced to make a move. Y/N paid close attention to what Nate liked and disliked about girls, leading to religious mani-pedis and waxing. I tried to talk her out of it freshman year, but I can’t blame her for ignoring a junkie’s advice. When Maddy and Nate started dating, Y/N tried to cut off her attraction to Nate because she loved Maddy like a sister. She stopped pining after him but wished that she had a tenth of the confidence Maddy had.

  “That’s it, we’re going to a party on Friday and you are going to meet a guy,” Maddy demanded.

  “What?”

  “Relax, you don’t have to sleep with him…unless you want to.” BB wiggled her eyebrows and Maddy, Cassie, and Kat burst into giggles.

 “I think I can start off with kissing.”

 “Have you even kissed a guy?” BB shot back.

 “Yes, I have.”

 In second grade, Travis Williams was double-dared to kiss Y/N on the playground. She knew that he wasn’t her prince charming since he produced too much saliva, and he was dared to do it. It gave her a weird complex about how attractive she was since no one really approached her. Sure, there were guys at parties but they just wanted something warm to slide into, not a real relationship.

 After practice, Y/N and Maddy sat across from each other with their legs spread out, pulling each other back and forth to stretch.

 “You really went in with this number, my legs are still killing me,” Maddy moaned as Y/N tugged her hands.

  “Well, Alia wants to do something super impressive for homecoming; it’s not my fault she was so inspired by Homecoming.” Y/N relaxed her back while Maddy gently pulled Y/N’s arms towards her.

   She relished in the stretch as her muscles released. Alia had tasked her with working on the homecoming choreography a month ago and the only requirement was it had to be set to Beyoncé’s “Diva/Everybody Mad” mix. It was tricky choreography, complete with acrobatics and lifts, but it would be entertaining.

  “Well, we better do Beyonce well because she deserves nothing but the best.” Maddy’s expression dropped.

  “What’s wrong?” Y/N turned and saw Nate heading towards them. He was so gorgeous even though he was in a black t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. His hair looked perfect for finger-combing and Y/N could just see his muscles flexing with every step he took.

  Y/N could never relax around Nate, even though she tried everything----slowing her breathing, counting backwards from twenty, and imagining him with food poisoning since no one looks good with that. But nothing worked, nothing ever worked, and she was forced to do whatever she could think of in the moment.

   “Hey, Y/N,” Nate greeted.

   “Hi,” Y/N breathed.

   “Maddy,” he looked at her and Maddy rolled her eyes.

   “What?”

   “Are you done stretching? I’m giving you a ride and we can’t be late, remember?”

   “Well, it doesn’t really matter since I always take too f-cking long to get ready.”

   Nate sighed. “Maddy, I didn’t mean it…”

   “I can go,” Y/N volunteered meekly, suddenly very aware that she was still sweaty from practice and needed to shower.

   “No, Y/N, stay,” Maddy said, “stay so you can hear the bullsh-t he comes up with.”

   They argued for about five minutes, all of which Y/N used to make herself as small as possible. She knew they had a dysfunctional relationship and that was the last thing Y/N wanted, she’d seen how they worked. If the couple weren’t arguing with each other, they would rant about the other person to a friend. Maddy did it all the time, but she was nowhere near as bad as Y/N’s dad. Her dad spoke explicitly about Y/N’s mother’s activities when things were really bad. It was always late at night and Y/N was not always sleeping over at someone’s house. Her father would rant for hours and force Y/N to sit there and listen. Whenever she tried to ask him to stop, he would say, “Tell your mother to stop, she did this. I didn’t do anything!”. Y/N cried a lot more than she would let anyone know. She wanted so badly to be whisked away from East Highland, preferably by a tall, handsome prince who would take care of all of her worries. She would be comfortable around him and feel loved. After Maddy and Nate’s argument, Y/N was able to slip away and go home.

  Y/N stepped out of a relaxing shower when she heard the low rumbling that started before every argument. The walls of her room felt closer than usual and she could easily run her hands over the lavender and white checked wallpaper. Everything felt so far away and she felt much smaller than five-foot-nine. Y/N slowly curled into a ball on her bed and shook as the rumbling grew higher.

  “Please stop,” she whispered.

  It persisted.

  “Please, please stop,” she repeated.

  Y/N kept repeating herself for so long that she did not know how long it took before her parents burst into her room. Her mother wrapped her up in arms and rocked her while her dad tried to get her to talk.

  “What’s the problem?” he asked.

  “The fighting, it’s loud,” she whispered.

  “Well, you can’t react like this every time we have an argument, Y/N. You’ll fall apart as an adult,” Mr. Y/L/N affirmed.

   “Dinner is almost ready,” Mrs. Y/L/N said and kissed her forehead.  

  When they left the room, Y/N felt dejected and uninterested in food. Just as she was about to start lotioning, her phone dinged. It was Maddy.

   Maddy: Football party’s on Friday. UR GOING.

 It wasn’t a difficult decision for Y/N to make. Her parents gave her a generous curfew since Y/N wouldn’t go out every weekend. But her parents didn’t care how she felt so they shouldn’t care about what she did for once. And if they didn’t care, then why should she? It wasn’t like she going to engage in an orgy or something.

   Y/N: You had me at football.

   Scott Callahan’s giant house was filled with smoke and strobing lights on Friday night. People were dancing and drinking half-naked in his front lawn and inside was another kind of pandemonium. There was every kind of expensive alcohol one could imagine scattered throughout the house, marijuana, Percocet, molly, and cocaine. Travis Scott’s “Sicko Mode” was blasting through the surround-sound speakers and people were either dancing, grinding, or making out to it. Y/N arrived at the party with Jules and Rue. Hours prior, Y/N gave Jules free reign to do whatever she wanted with her makeup.

 “Ugh, I have been waiting ever since we met for this moment. No, maybe even before then,” Jules said as she swiped silver glitter around Y/N’s eyes.

  Cassie, Maddy, BB, and Kat already helped Y/N pick out an outfit a day before via Facetime: a shiny silver mini dress with platforms. Y/N had been nervous as Jules helped her do her makeup and put some waves in her shoulder-length dark hair. But the finished product made her look like a totally different person.

  “Is that me?” Y/N had whispered as she stared at herself in the mirror.

  Jules rest her chin on Y/N’s shoulder. “Yes, it is, the shinier version.”

  “You look good, Y/N,” Rue complimented.

  “Thanks, Rue. Are you sure you’re okay with me drinking tonight? I feel so weird and guilty.”

  “Yes, it’s fine,” Rue had insisted. “I just got out of rehab and I don’t wanna go back.”

  “And I don’t want you to, either,” Jules added.

  Y/N agreed.

  Y/N still felt weird about drinking around Rue once they arrived at the party,  but Rue insisted that Y/N and Jules have fun. Several guys stared as Y/N walked past, but that could have been attributed to Jules’ neon green corset dress with matching hair or Rue’s tie-dye ensemble. When they reached the kitchen, they found Kat and BB doing tequila shots. Their eyes lit up at the trio.

  “Finally, you’re here!” Kat hugged Rue, Jules, and Y/N.

 “Did you miss us?” Jules teased.

  “Little bit. You guys want a shot?”

  “I’m DD-ing, or DR-ing since it’s a bike,” Rue said.

  “Or DB-ing, for bicycling,” Y/N added.

  BB poured Jules and Y/N shots and handed them over. They cheered before downing the alcohol. The tequila burned down Y/N’s throat and Y/N fought the urge to cough. She’d had alcohol before but she did not drink as often as her friends. Y/N immediately felt the liquid courage coursing through her as she slid her shot glass towards BB.

  “Another one?” BB arched an eyebrow.

 “Are you complaining?”

 “Not at all, you look hot by the way.”

 “Thanks.”

  “I did her makeup,” Jules said.

 Y/N laughed and continued drinking.

  I watched as her third shot became her fifth, and then Jules made them both screwdrivers and she made them strong. I’d only seen Y/N drunk once and that was at freshman winter formal. Maddy convinced her that Gatorade and Everclear were a good mix. She was tripping over herself for most of the night, so there was no telling what she might do.

 “Crap, I forgot to tell you, Maddy and Nate broke up again,” Kat said.

 “Why?” Y/N asked.

 “Stupid same old bullsh-t, probably,” Rue said.

“Where is Maddy, anyway?”

 “Last I knew, she was outside with Cassie,” BB said.

 Y/N finished her screwdriver. “Let’s go, then.”

 Y/N was surprisingly agile as she weaved her way through the crowd and lead the way outside. Maddy and Cassie were easy to spot since they were standing by the lounge chairs and rolling their eyes at every guy who tried to talk to them.

 “Maddy, Cassie!” Y/N announced.

 They both looked up and smiled at her.

 “Y/N, you look amazing,” Cassie said.

 “Thanks, and you look great as per usual.”

 “You’ve been drinking,” Cassie said.

 Y/N nodded.

 Cassie and Maddy greeted Rue, Jules, Kat, and BB.

 “Hey, I’m sorry about Nate,” Y/N said.

  “It’s fine, I don’t need him and I could get any guy here I want. Besides, it gives me the chance to focus more on getting you a guy,” Maddy said.

  “Oh, Maddy, don’t worry about me.”

  “No, that’s why we’re here. Now, let’s do some shots and scope!”

  The shots were easy but finding a good guy was not. Y/N was officially drunk and giggled a lot whenever the guys Maddy or Cassie found spoke to her. Y/N would push the guys she didn’t like away, which was the majority of them.

 “Alright, you rejected eight dudes, why?” Maddy asked over City Girls’ “Act Up”.

  “Well, one had horrible halitsosissss and another kept talking about how he had never been with a black girl before.”

  “Which one said the last thing?” Cassie asked.

  Y/N shrugged and drank more beer. “Seriously, do not worry about me, guys, I’m fine, I just wanna have fun.”

 “Yes, fun!” an equally inebriated Jules commented.

 At that moment, Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts” started playing and Jules and Y/N screamed in unison.

 “I love this song!” Y/N exclaimed.

 “Me too!” Jules said.

 “Let’s dance!” Y/N turned to the rest of the girls and extended her hand. “You have to join us, it’s Lizzo, it’s basically law.”

 “Yeah, basically law,” Jules echoed.

 The others couldn’t argue, and they all moved to the dancefloor, which was really the living room. Jules twirled Rue around even though Rue was reluctant, and BB started grinding on some basketball player. Meanwhile, Maddy, Cassie, and Y/N alternated between shouting the lyrics and moving their hips to the beat.

 Dance truly set Y/N free, but the song also helped. There was something about Lizzo’s voice and choice of beat that made Y/N want to dance and never stop. She would move her arms and hands and feel more fluid than water. For once, she wasn’t calculating each step and making sure she was on beat, she was simply reacting to the music.

 Towards the end of the song, Y/N muttered that she was going outside to Cassie and slipped away from the circle. Y/N found herself enjoying the fresh air and giggled to herself when she saw a couple going to second base by the pool.

 “Y/N, I didn’t think you was into watchin’ people,” Fez teased.

 He was sitting on a beach chair in a corner a few yards away from the back door. He was wearing a navy, yellow, and red Coogi sweater with jeans. He was fully reclined in his chair and smoking a joint.

 “You don’t know a lot of things about me,” Y/N shot back as she walked towards him.

 She plopped down on the seat across from him and tried to steady herself.

 “You good, Y/N?”

 “Yeah, just drank a lot more than usual.” Y/N eyed Fez’s joint. “You know, in all this time I’ve known you, you’ve never offered me drugs.”

 “No disrespect, I just didn’t think you’d be into it, didn’t seem like the type.”

 “Oh yeah? Then what do I seem like?” Y/N leaned towards Fez and arched her back a little.

 Fez blew some smoke away from Y/N and tried not to stare at her. “You…you look like the type to stay away from this stuff and even me.”

  Y/N laughed and shooed the thought away. “How could I stay away from you, Fez? You have the best snacks at the gas station. Plus, I like talking to you.”

 “Really?”

 “Yeah, you have an interesting but simple way of looking at things.”

 Fez looked as though he was thinking for a long moment as he smoked his joint. “I knew I liked you for a reason. You act all quiet and nervous usually but you got a lot to say and say it in a good way.” He extended the joint towards Y/N. “Be careful.”

 Y/N focused as hard as she could to grab the joint with two fingers. She’d only smoked once with Rue and Rue was the one to drag her over to Fezco to get the weed. Y/N remembered coughing a lot, but she knew how to avoid that. She took two long drags before handing the joint back to Fez.

 “Thanks, Fez. We should talk more later.”

 “Sure, if you feelin’ up to it. I’m here all night.”

 Y/N stumbled back into the house, her full intentions to find her friends. Then, she heard the beginning strains of Kanye West’s “Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1” and she smiled to herself. She started spinning around in time to the music, twisting her arms up and down as she did. Her hips began to sway gently to the rhythm. She ran her hands through her hair and exhaled.

 Y/N was lost again and wrapped up in the beat. She usually did not drop low outside of the comfort of her bedroom, but the alcohol mixed with the weed mixed with the great music made her think differently. She was free and everyone else around her was free. There was nothing to worry about and she could let go of her inhibitions. It didn’t matter that none of the guys at the party were her type nor really interested her, she was having too much fun. But little did Y/N know that someone had their eye on her since she started dancing to “Truth Hurts”.

 Y/N felt someone push up against her from behind, followed by hands slink around her hips. Her eyes fluttered open and she covered the large hands with her own. “Sorry, I don’t----" She stopped when she made eye contact with Nate. “I’m high,” she muttered.

 “I don’t know about that, but you’ve definitely been drinking.”

 Y/N tried to ignore the way his gravelly voice made her stomach drop to her heels or how she felt like everything was throbbing. She shook her head and backed away from him. “I can’t…you just broke up with Maddy.”

 “Y/N, please don’t.” Nate looked worried as he took cautious steps towards her.

 Unbeknownst to Y/N, and everyone else, Nate had a fascination with her that bordered on obsession. He noticed her in fourth grade and how much she got excited about reading and history lessons. Even then, Nate thought Y/N was innocent and so quiet. He was curious about her but never really approached her until that day in gym. That day was a godsend so that he could show off how strong he was and get her to talk. All he got was a “Thanks” and “I’m okay”. Nate was disappointed, but he didn’t stop looking out for her. He made sure none of the football players went after her, which McKay appreciated but he thought Nate was doing it as a friend. No, Nate was doing it because he knew that football players were animals and Y/N was high above them. Maddy was too but Maddy was different .She was so much more confident and bold than Y/N was, and she was a virgin when Nate asked her out. But Maddy liked to fight with him and test him and Y/N wouldn’t do that----she was too sweet and would most likely want to resolve everything as quickly as possible. So, she was unofficially his and Y/N had no idea.

 Y/N kept shaking her head as tears welled up in her eyes. “I can’t do this, Maddy’s like a sister to me.”

“Y/N, breathe, please.” Nate took another step and when Y/N didn’t move, he got close enough to grab her forearms and rub them soothingly. “You’re allowed to dance with me, all we did was dance.”

 “That was not dancing, I’m a dancer, I would know.” Y/N tilted her head back to will the tears away.

 “You look beautiful, seriously. Don’t cry.” He tried to touch her face, but Y/N backed away.

 “Thank you, but I think we should stop talking.”

 “You always look beautiful, especially when your hair is down, it frames your face nicely.” He brushed some hair off her shoulder.

 “Nate, stop.” A tear rolled down her cheek.

 “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

 “I know you’re doing this to make Maddy jealous, it’s what you always do, it’s the same game!” Y/N cried, but it was masked by the music. “I’m…I’m not going to be your pawn in this weird game, Nate. I deserve better than that.”

 Nate reached out and cupped the side of her face in one hand. “Oh, Y/N, you would never be a pawn and I’m not playing with you. Maddy’s not gonna care if you dance with me, she’s not even here.”

 Y/N glanced around the room and didn’t see Maddy anywhere. She suddenly got a sinking feeling and looked back at Nate. “I’m just not comfortable with doing anything with you, she’s my friend.”

 “And I would never want to ruin that and I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable; I just wanted a chance to dance with the prettiest girl at the party.”  

 Y/N snapped her eyes to him. “You think I’m the prettiest girl here?”

 Nate nodded. “But if you don’t want to dance with me…”

 “Fine, one dance.” Y/N held up her pointer finger for emphasis. “And we’re done.”

 “Deal.”

 “Good.”

 The song changed to “One Dance” and Y/N was stiff for a moment. She never really did partner dancing and was lost. Nate sensed this, grabbed one of her hands, and spun her around. She laughed and swiveled her hips to the beat. Nate continued twirling her around and watched Y/N move to the music. When he spun her out again, Nate pulled her back in and held her close. Y/N did everything in her power to fight to gnawing desire to melt into his embrace. He felt so strong and protective. Y/N stared at the collar of his t-shirt to avoid eye contact and kept her hands on his chest.

  “This isn’t fair,” she whispered.

  “What isn’t fair?”   “I’ve had a crush on you since elementary school and the time you decide you want me, it’s just after your break up with one of my best friends.” Y/N buried her head in her hands. “I’m such a bad friend, I should go.”

 Nate held her there and stared her down. “Go and do what?”

 “Um, find my friends.”

“And then what?”

“Dance?”

“Just like you’re dancing with me?”

 “No, not this close and you know that.” Y/N stepped back. “We should stop.”

 “But, you said you’ve liked me for a long time.”

 “I did, but I want to be a good friend. I’m sorry, Nate.”

Y/N really didn’t want to, but she pulled away from Nate. She couldn’t believe she’d spent a whole song dancing so close with her friend’s ex. Maddy would kill her if she found out. Maybe if Y/N told her first, things would not be as bad.

“If we can’t dance, can we at least talk?”

Y/N hesitated but nodded slowly.

Nate grabbed her hand and led her upstairs. A few coked out people and couples pushed past them and Y/N felt more and more nervous. They found an empty bedroom and Nate closed the door behind them. The room was dark and Y/N found a light.

 “So, what did you want to talk about?” she made herself comfortable on the bed.

Nate sat next to her and clasped his hands together. “Things with Maddy and me have always been f-ckin’ crazy and they will always be. She always wants to fight when there shouldn’t be a fight.”

“If you wanted to complain to someone about your ex, you could have found someone who wasn’t her friend.”

 “Stop, what I’m saying is I don’t like it, it’s exhausting, and…and we bring out the worst in each other. But you, I don’t think you would do that to me.” He glanced down at Y/N’s hands. “You’re kind and you want the best for everyone.”

 “I try.”

“You would never want to hurt anyone on purpose and you listen, you really listen, and I feel like I could tell you anything.”

 Y/N nodded.

 “The truth is, I’ve liked you since fourth grade too, but I never asked you out because you seemed disinterested.”

 “How’d you get that?”

 “Whenever I tried to talk to you, you wouldn’t talk and I thought that meant you didn’t like me. So, I started going out with Maddy because she was clear about that, but now, I think we could be something.”

 “Just like that? But what about my friends? Maddy and I have the same friends and I don’t want to hurt Maddy.”

“You can make new friends and you’ll have me.” Nate leaned closer to Y/N. “C’mon, Y/N, you know you want this. You’re always thinking of other people, be selfish for once.”

 In that strange bedroom, with the guy she had been crushing on for so long begging her to do something to him, Y/N was at an impasse. She loved Maddy like a sister and didn’t want to divide the group, but Nate was making so many good points. The only reason she did well in school was to please her parents and the only reason she would go out was to please her friends. She didn’t do anything to please herself and this was her chance.

Nate leaned closer to Y/N and looked up at her for confirmation. Y/N closed her eyes and relished in the feeling of Nate’s lips against hers. They were slightly chapped but he knew how to use them, applying pressure in the right places at the right times. His hands went to her waist and Y/N wrapped hers around his neck. He slid her into his lap and Y/N gasped.

 “Did I scare you?” he whispered.

 “A little,” Y/N murmured.

 He rubbed her sides and kept kissing her, adding tongue. Y/N shyly tapped her tongue against his and he smirked into it. He rolled his hips underneath her and Y/N gasped at the shocking feeling, pulling away.

 “Does it feel good?”

 Y/N nodded.

 “Say it.”

 “Yes.”

 “Yes, what?”

 “Yes, it feels good.”

 Nate nipped at her neck and Y/N moaned out, grinding down on him. Nate’s hands tensed around her hips. “You’re so hot,” he whispered in her ear.

 Y/N laughed.

 “Seriously, I’ve thought about what this would be like, what we would be like.”

 “And?”

 “And, so far, it’s better than I thought.” He kissed down to her collarbone and palmed her chest. “I’ve thought about these.”  “Really? But they’re so small.”

 “No, they’re just right.” He bit the base of her neck and Y/N hissed. “I’ve also thought about your legs, how they distract me during practice when you guys are outside. They’re so soft but firm.”

  Nate kissed her again and pinned her on the bed. Y/N gasped as she felt one of Nate’s hands trail up her dress. Her mind was jumbled up and she didn’t know what to think. Everything he did felt so good, he knew just where to kiss and nip. He looked at her with full-blown lust in his eyes. Maybe Y/N had finally found the prince she’d been waiting for, but he was always there.

 Then, his hand went a little too high. She squirmed and shook her head.

 “Nate, that’s a little too much.”

 “What?”

 “I said it’s a little too much,” she repeated louder.

 “I thought you liked it, don’t you want this? Isn’t this what you’ve always thought about?” Nate tangled his hand in her underwear.

 “Nate, stop, I don’t want to do this.”

 “You weren’t acting that way earlier.”

 “Nate, please, stop.”

 “You don’t want me to stop.”

 “Yes, I do, please!”

  Y/N tried to push him away but Nate pinned her down. He rolled his hips into hers and Y/N turned away, tears falling down her cheeks.

 “Do you feel how much I want you? I’d do just about anything to have you.”

 “Nate, stop!”

 “Shut up!” Nate growled.

 One of his hands let go of her wrist and wrapped around her neck. He had a death grip on her neck and Y/N started gasping for air.

 “Don’t pretend like you didn’t want this? Like you weren’t dancing on me, begging for it? You were jealous that Maddy got me whenever she wanted. You wanted me all for yourself just like I want you.”

  Y/N wanted to scream at him, tell him he was wrong about everything, but was he? When Maddy talked about sex with him, Y/N would feel pangs of guilt and jealousy for wanting to trade places with her. Most of all, she wanted Nate to get off her. She wanted Nate to leave her alone forever. When she looked at him, the sweet fourth grade boy was gone and replaced by a full grown monster. Why was she getting monsters when she wanted princes? What did she do to deserve this?

  Nate unzipped his jeans and tears kept flowing down Y/N’s face, ruining Jules’ masterpiece. He kept his eyes trained on her and Y/N was losing oxygen, she couldn’t think to move any of her muscles. Just as he was about to push in her, someone banged on the door.

 “Occupied!” Nate yelled over his shoulder.

 “Whatever.”

 Nate turned back and looked down at Y/N, shaking and crying. He leaned down and whispered, “Don’t make a sound.”  He released his grasp on her neck and pinned her wrists again. Y/N’s throat felt numb and she couldn’t do anything. She inhaled through her nose and before Nate could thrust, she took gathered all her strength to knee him. Nate groaned and rolled onto his side, releasing her wrists. Y/N scrambled to her feet, unlocked the door, and ran outside. People in the hallway looked at her bewildered. Y/N nearly fell down the stairs and ran into Rue.

 “Y/N, what happened?” she asked.

 Y/N gasped for a moment before burying her face in Rue’s shoulder and crying, full-on, heaving, shoulder-shaking crying. Rue held her close and ran her hands through her hair. “Nate,” was the only word she managed to get out.

 Before Rue could only see Red, Fez approached them. “Hey, I’m about to head out if you wanted a ride. What’s up?”

 “I think Nate tried to do something to Y/N,” Rue whispered. “Y/N, could you look at me?”

 Y/N straightened up and Rue and Fezco saw the handprints around her neck. Both of their expressions hardened.

 “Where’s Maddy, Cassie, and Jules?” Rue asked.

 “Right here,” Maddy said as they approached. Her eyes widened at Y/N. “Y/N, what the f-ck happened?”

 Y/N swallowed but winced at the feeling. “Nate tried to rape me,” she rasped out.

 In an instant, Fez and Rue handed Y/N over to Cassie, Maddy, and Jules. Y/N collapsed in their arms and continued crying.

 “Honey, it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay,” Cassie said.

 “Breathe, Y/N, you need to breathe,” Jules muttered.

  “I’m so sorry, Maddy, I’m so sorry,” Y/N said.

  “No, don’t apologize,” Maddy insisted, stroking Y/N’s hair.

  They cleared a couch for Y/N to rest and they continued trying to comfort her. A few seconds later, Nate came tumbling down the stairs, with Rue and Fezco on his heels. Rue was cursing at him while Fezco laid more punches on him. Nate’s face was already bruised and scratched up.

 “It’s not my fault!” Nate spat out. “I told you, she came onto me, she’s been in love with me since fourth grade, she wanted this! Maddy, Y/N’s a bad friend, that’s not my fault.”

 “Don’t even talk to me right now or I swear, Rue and Fezco will have to keep me from killing you,” Maddy hissed.  

 “I’m a bad friend,” Y/N whimpered.

 “No, you’re not,” Maddy, Cassie, and Jules said.

 “I liked him a lot, even when you dated, I liked him and then he…he came onto me, maybe I deserved it.”

 “Y/N, no one deserves to get raped, no one, you did not ask for this,” Jules assured her.

  Y/N turned to lay face up. “Why does everything hurt so much? I just wanted someone to like me since loving me is asking for too much.”

  “No, it’s not,” Cassie hushed.

  “And we love you,” Maddy said.

  “I love you the most,” Jules said.

 Y/N smiled slightly. “But you know what I mean.”

 Y/N loved her friends and appreciated their love, but she wanted the fairytale. She’d convinced herself that maybe she would get some idea of that with Nate but she was so wrong. She wanted the dream and got a nightmare. It was a terrible f-cking way to learn how real life works, but it had to happen. Besides, we’re in high school and the love Y/N truly wanted was impossible to find in high school, especially East Highland. Y/N ended up pressing charges on Nate and that encouraged Maddy to open up about stuff he’d done to her during their relationship. Everything is different with Y/N now, I can see it in her eyes, they aren’t as bright as they used to be. Before the stuff with her mom, they would shimmer and after that, some glints remained. Now, it was like looking in a dark hole and I could guess what she was feeling since I’ve been in that place too----in fact, I’m still in it. I think the saddest part is she always had so much optimism and now it’s gone before she’s twenty and I don’t think she’ll get it back.

[seokmins]

Don’t - JJK

ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟙 of Physical

"Just be careful,” Yoongi cautioned. “Don’t get caught in something you don’t want to end up in.”

“Yoongi!” Jimin exclaimed. “Our baby is growing up! He’s developing feelings - !”

【ˢᵉʳⁱᵉˢ ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ || ᴮᵀˢ ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ || ᴹᵃⁱⁿ ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ】

💞 🄿🄰🄸🅁🄸🄽🄶: Jeon Jungkook x Reader  📚 🄶🄴🄽🅁🄴: Fluff, Angst (?) 🌟 🅁🄰🅃🄸🄽🄶: T 💬ⓌⒸ: 3k ⚠️ 🅆🄰🅁🄽🄸🄽🄶🅂: Swear words? Suggestiveness? Gosh idk.

💫 (っ  ◔◡◔)っɛƖ۷'ʂ ŋơɬɛʂ 💕:

I think this switches POV a few times, hope it’s not confusing 😅 I think [Y/N] is an interestingly shallow character hmmm 😆. I don’t really know names for dance moves bear with me. This is gonna lead to a series whee 🤭

“1... 2... 3. 1... 2... Oof!” A muffled curse and a hard thump sounded inside the supposed to be empty dance practice room. Jungkook frowned, it wasn’t uncommon to pass by someone as they left if they stayed a little longer through the half-hour time-slot between booking appointments. But to still hear angry counts and crashes fifteen minutes after his reserved time did not make him particularly thrilled. He hesitantly peeked his head in, the creak of the door drowned out by the on and off music now blasting as a girl once again counted out her steps.

[Y/N] came tumbling down, tripping over her two feet. Again. Sweat coated her entire body as she glared at her glistening forehead in the full-length mirror. She had tried numerous times over the past week to nail that footwork, but today was particularly rough. One more time her mind screamed even as her body ached.

“Is that the new choreo?” A gentle voice asked as she paused to reset the music back, causing her to yelp in shock. She broke out in a cold sweat as if she wasn’t already drenched enough. Primal fear coursed through her as she recognized just who was standing at the door, fit in his oversized hoodie, white baseball cap, and combat boots. Yes, Jeon flipping Jungkook in all his big-shot glory. She gulped.

“Hello.” [Y/N] bowed formally, cursing herself for looking like a bedraggled, wet rat. Of course, most people don’t look too swell during dance practice (unless they were BTS) and of course, it wasn’t as if she had never been in the same room, breathing the same air as Jungkook. After all, she shared the stage with him and the rest of the esteemed members. “Yes, I’ve been trying to perfect the footwork for next week. I’ve been practicing for... Oh my gosh - !”

Jungkook chuckled. It looked as if this was the first time she’d actually looked at the clock and he couldn’t help wonder just how long had she been here - and how long she planned to stay. “Ya know, this is the reason why there are bookings. Not just so everyone can get some practice in, but also so you don’t overwork yourself.” He hummed casually (in his angelic voice) and strode over to hand her a water bottle from his vast supply hidden in his duffel bag.

“I...Thank you.” [Y/N] murmured, grateful and shocked by his kind gesture. She’d save this water bottle forever. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cut into your practice, I totally lost track of time.” Hastily gulping some water, she made to gather her items and skedaddle out of there, but Jungkook cleared his throat, halting her.

“Hey, stay a while. You need to cool down and I need to warm up.” A chance to one-on-one cool down solely with the Jeon Jungkook. An opportunity of a lifetime. “You’re... [Y/N] right?”

[Y/N] blinked. He knew her name. “Y-yes. I’m, uh, Lee Minho’s little sister. Um, you prolly don’t remember him, he’s -”

“- a member of Stray Kids.” Jungkook interrupted, glancing a little sardonically at her as he stretched one arm over the other. “Yes, I recall, he was on the Wings tour?” [Y/N] blinked. “I can see the talent flows in the family then.”

“Uh, wow. Thanks. I’m not so sure about that. I’ve taken forever to learn these moves. Even though I helped come up with these moves, I can’t execute them perfectly yet.”

“Wait, you came up with these?”

“Oh, uh yeah - yes. I... talked with one of the choreographers and they loved my idea. I have to perfect it just right so I can be ready by the deadline or it’ll be disastrous for the comeback.” 

“That’s really impressive. Thank you. We appreciate your talent.” He said, smiling his signature bunny-tooth smile. [Y/N] blushed, even more so when she realized she had been wearing a sports bra. Having finally ‘cooled’ down, she grabbed her loose shirt and threw it back on. It didn’t help that she could feel Jungkook’s gaze on her, making her burn.

“It’s nothing, really. Um, it was nice talking to you. Really. I gotta go now. Sorry again for disturbing you.”

“No, it’s really not a problem at all.” He soothed. “Hey, maybe next time you book an appointment, let me know. Maybe we could chat more.” Jungkook waved his phone around, displaying the digital booking website for the dance practice room. “Huh, message me on KakaoTalk?” He offered.

“Oh, uh, ok. Uh yes definitely.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. That was a little presumptuous of me.” Warm redness rapidly spread up his neck to his cheeks. For the first time during their interaction, [Y/N] smiled at him.

“No, not at all.”

“Hoseok, you know that one girl who came up with the idea for our new choreo?” As casually as he could, the maknae questioned his hyung.

“Yeah, not very well, but she’s super talented from what I hear the dance team say. She leads a lot of the practices for the rest of the backup dancers to help them learn, almost like a professional teacher and choreographer.”

“Wow, I had no idea,” Jungkook admitted. [Y/N] hadn’t told him about that during their weekly meetings. Granted she didn’t talk much about herself in general.

“Well, it’s not that uncommon. While we try to get to know all of our staff, it’s impossible to get very close because of how often they rotate in and out.” Namjoon reassured him although the two other members of the maknae line grinned knowingly at their fellow member.

“I think Jungkookie here has a little crush on [Y/N]-ie.” Jimin teased as Taehyung voiced his agreement. Jungkook felt the red hot flush make its way up to his cheeks again. It seemed to be happening more and more these days.

“No, you’re wrong. I-... how do you even know her name?” He stuttered out.

“I may or may not have looked at your phone,” Jimin smirked. “As if we haven’t noticed you’ve been sneaking around doing a lot of dance practice when we haven’t even been told the final choreo.”

“I have to keep in shape, it’s better to get a taste of some part of it so it’s easier to learn the final version.”

“Uh-huh. That was actually a good excuse.” Seokjin laughed. “But you can’t fool us. You learn the choreography practically instantaneously... and you’ve never done that before for other comebacks.”

"Just be careful,” Yoongi cautioned. “Don’t get caught in something you don’t want to end up in.”

“Yoongi!” Jimin exclaimed. “Our baby is growing up! He’s developing feelings - !”

“I’m just saying.” He shrugged.

“I’m not doing anything bad. I’m just making a new friend, besides ARMY is my one and only love.” Jungkook sulked. “Stop making a big deal out of nothing.”

His leader rubbed a hand on the maknae’s slumped shoulders. “We just want you aware of the implications. Even if you’re ‘just friends’ as you said, rumors will fly if you’re close with anyone. We just don’t want a scandal. Especially not before the comeback.”

“I know. I promise nothing will happen.”

“Hey, I heard that there’s a fun dance practice that the backup dancers run` every week and she’s leading this week’s.” Hoseok, always the amicable sunshine brightened the atmosphere. “Why don’t we all go check it out?”

“Yay!” Taehyung cheered. “We can see who Kookie’s so fascinated on!”

“Stop! She’s just a friend!” The group laughed as he pouted.

♫ Adrenaline keeps on rushing in Love the simulation we're dreaming in   Don't you agree? Don't you agree? ♫

A step. A twirl. A side-step. Arms waving. A clap. Joy filled [Y/N]’s entire being - adrenaline high as she twirled along to the beat. Dua Lipa’s husky voice boomed through the packed room, stuffy from the people’s energies as they danced. The dancer grinned wide as she stood in the front of the mirror moving her heart out alongside her peers. Each one of them had practiced the random choreo she had thought up and today they were putting it all together.

♫ Hold on just a little tighter Come on Hold on, tell me if you're ready Come on Baby, keep on dancing Let's get physical ♫

She blinked. Even as fast as she moved, the choreo was rather simple in general - muscle memory at the least. Which is why she didn’t stumble when locking direct eye contact with a pair of brown doe eyes paired with a bunny smile. What... what was he doing here, let alone them?

Yes. All seven members squeezed themselves in the back area of the practice room. While it wasn’t too uncommon for Hoseok to pop in on his way home after a practice, throw some pointers, and leave with a bright smile, seeing the star group of Big Hit threw the whole room in for a loop. However, they were professional dancers. They kept dancing - albeit a little on edge, slightly losing their previous unlimited pep during the first half of the song.

“So... [Y/N]-ie is the beauty at the front?” Jimin asked both as loudly and quietly as he could with the loud music. He nudged Jungkook out of his deep catching-her-eye with the girl moving smoothly across the room, in lead and in control. Jungkook had never truly seen her in her natural element, seemingly always so tense.

“Uh, yeah.”

“I can see why Kookie’s so fixated on her.” Taehyung acknowledged, all seven boys focusing on her also, although she didn’t notice having lost Jungkook’s stare and instead concentrating on her moves. But she could feel his presence as intense as if it was just the two of them alone.

♫ Let's get physical Physical Let's get physical Come on, phy-phy-phy-physical ♫ 

Cheers erupted as the last notes of the song faded, all rushing to give their input on each other’s moves and the choreo - and the choreographer herself. Even Hoseok went to join the masses, caught up in the excitement. Jungkook contemplated if he should join Hoseok or the others as they snuck out the door, offering praise to those they passed so as not to seem standoffish. Unsure, he chose to awkwardly linger by the door as everyone slowly filtered out. Hoseok winked at his maknae as he passed, raising his eyebrows quickly towards [Y/N]’s direction. She as well seemed to be keeping herself busy after her colleagues said goodbye almost sensing Jungkook’s hesitation to leave.

“Hey. What brought you here?”

“Hobi mentioned something about a weekly dance practice.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Wow, it was great seeing you dance.” Normally their meetups consisted of a few conversations while [Y/N] cooled down and Jungkook warmed up - quite similar to their first meeting. However, last week he encouraged her to stay and watch as he danced, yet still, knew very basic information about her and wondered if maybe he was being bothersome. Perhaps she was just entertaining him, too nice or even scared of what he might do lest she say she didn’t want to hang out with him.

“Thank you.” 

“I really liked that song, it had a great beat.”

“That was the English version. Did you know Hwasa was featured in another version?”

“No way, she’s a great vocalist.”

“She really is.” [Y/N] hummed. “Here, I can play it for you.” She turned to her phone and pulled up the song.

♫ Although we eye each other You know I’ve read your feeling Don’t you agree? Don’t you agree? ♫

“How’s the choreo for the comeback coming?”

“It’s almost there. I should have it nailed by this week.”

“I can’t wait to see the finalized result.”

Sneak peeks while [Y/N] finished up her final minutes before he announced his presence lent Jungkook a good idea of what their final concept would be. To say he was excited was an understatement. She had true talent and an insightful eye.

♫ You try to hide your feelings You don’t have time just wasting time Don’t you agree? Don’t you agree? ♫

Jungkook swallowed. Internally, he wondered if he was gonna start screaming as he listened to Hwasa’s silkiness as she voiced the lyrics. [Y/N] smiled, motioning to him. “C’mon, do you want to dance?”

♫ Who needs to go to sleep, when I’ve got you next to me? ♫ 

Pass up an opportunity to dance her? As if. With a shy grin, he accepted the challenge. This might be the first time she’d become so carefree with him and he wasn’t about to lose.

♫ Night is passing There’s no point in hiding it So come on, come on, come on Let’s get physical ♫

Regardless of the girl dancing side-by-side to him, both trying to mimic each other’s moves so they were in sync, Jungkook enjoyed dancing. He even enjoyed dancing with other people, such as his hyungs and fellow Kpop groups. But maybe he enjoyed this just a little more.

♫ Close the door of this room Just us together in this space So come on, come on, come on Let’s get physical ♫ 

If only it was just that making his heart pound. Jungkook had been around girls before. While he shied away most times, not a single one of those interactions had made him feel like this. [Y/N] put him at ease even before he officially met her. Even dancing didn’t make him feel like this. Blood and adrenaline pumped through his veins and he turned to look right into [Y/N]’s eyes. Both dancers held each other’s gaze that asked the same question - “What are you feeling right now?” The raven-haired man licked his lips nervously, stalling his movements.

“I -. Do you...?” Gosh, he felt ridiculous. But there was no denying the undercurrent, despite their hesitation, that ran between the two.

“Do I...?”

“Do you, uh, find me attractive?” Jungkook almost regretted the words as soon as they came out.

“Gosh, Jungkook. What kind of question is that?” [Y/N] laughed as he blushed profusely. “If you don’t believe the hundred thousands of ARMYs that sing your praises, I don’t know what can convince you if not that.”

He mumbled something she couldn’t catch.

“Hm?”

Brown doe eyes met hers, shyly. “You telling me what you think.”

[Y/N]’s eyes widened as she gulped. “Well. I - just proved there’s no way you’re not attractive.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He turned away from her, thinking about leaving but she cleared her throat.

“Of course I find you attractive. I mean, you’re Jeon Jungkook, Golden Maknae of BTS. I mean... it’s almost intimidating and unfair how good looking you are. And you’re nice, talented, and sweet.” Gasping more than she would be from dancing, [Y/N] shakily met him eye to eye.

♫ All night, I'll riot with you I know you got my back and you know I got you So come on, come on, come on Let's get physical Lights out, follow the noise Baby, keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice  ♫

With an unknown surge of confidence blazing through him, Jungkook latched his lips onto hers. Nerves flooded him, yet were soothed as she eagerly met his tender, yet fervent kisses. Grinning lazily as they separated for breath, he led her out of the dance practice room and they stumbled through the empty halls of the Big Hit studios to outside. The moon lit their path as [Y/N] led him to a hotel, flashing her card at the receptionist as Jungkook kissed her neck. He remained attached to her as she swiped her card into the hotel room and before he knew it they tumbled together into the crisp sheets of a bed.

“Is this what you want?” [Y/N] asked, cupping Jungkook’s cheeks as he hovered above her. 

“Yes.” Jungkook breathed, ecstasy lacing his whisper. “Is this what you want.”

She answered him with a kiss.

♫ So come on, come on, come on Let's get physical ♫ 

Jungkook groaned as he awoke to not the sun shining through his windows, but the sound of his phone vibrating. Again and again. Blinking blearily, he grabbed it and answered the call.

“Hello?” He grumbled - voice raw, body sore, and not fully awake. 

“Jungkook.” Came the stern voice of Namjoon over the phone. “Where are you?”

“I’m -” The maknae shook himself awake, glancing around, panic filling him. The silence rang awfully loud through the small hotel bedroom. Except for Namjoon’s voice calling him back to attention.

“Jungkook?”

He cleared his throat. “I’m in a hotel. I passed out.”

Namjoon was silent. “I suggest you check your messages. I’ll see you back at the dorm. Try not to get caught again.”

In the quiet of her dorm, [Y/N]’s face was illuminated by the light of her phone screen as she hastily dialed a number. Not even two rings in, the person answered.

“’ Sup, Ugly?” A familiar snide, male voice greeted.

“Is that how you answer your phone now?” She huffed.

He let out a sleepy laugh. “Only how a certain someone looks when she calls me at this hour.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

A pause. [Y/N] knew there was no point beating around the bush and got straight to the point. “I want to take you up on that offer you extended to me.”

That got his attention. It’d been several years since they last talked about the subject and what it entailed - never touching upon it again after the argument that broke out. That was the only reason he knew what she was referring to. If he wasn’t awake before, he was now.   “... Are you sure? I thought -”

“Yes. I thought there were no questions asked.”

The man on the other line hesitated. “What happened?”

“Didn’t I just say?”

“But -”

“Look,” [Y/N] interrupted. “Forget it, I-”

“No, no, no. I’m sorry. Come over. But promise we’ll talk. In person, okay?”

“In person.” She agreed. “Thank you.”

“See you soon, then?”

“Yeah. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Breaking!  Dispatch has reported that Jeon Jungkook of BTS was seen entering a hotel with an unknown woman late last night. Big Hit has yet to comment on the situation.

💫 (っ ◔◡◔)っɛƖ۷'ʂ ŋơɬɛʂ 💕:

Physical - by Dua Lipa / Physical by Dua Lipa ft. Hwasa & Lyric videos ➡️ links will be given under the series’ masterlist. 

Hehehe another song might be added too 😉

I finished writing this at 2 am. It’s rough. I know this moved fast but O well. If anyone reads this, let me know if they want tagged in Part 2!

ezralia-writes June 2020: ♫ Physical: Don’t - Part 1 © 

[bloojayoolie]

Af, Anime, and Apparently: , Okay Ibl, story ame when I wss younger, had this Irish friend who pred our school when w as like 17, Dude ded recently nd here丐the ballad of the merveeus bsstard be average as fuck 17 year old Bribong Some foreign guy has just joined, his family just moved here city called Dery in Mgved here with his dad and his lite sister, his mum died when he was younger He gets put in my class and ends up stting nest to me This is howl met Eigh-Beers Mgee the all him Call him a hippo because of his fucking industrial size frant teeth and his big flucking lps Greg uses his adism to get out of doing and saying whatever the fuck he wants noing EB wth she lke Greg has his desk very paricularly arranged, pens on one side in a straight ine pencis on the other Dude is OCD as fuck with his pencilcase and shit Goes nuts i anything gets moved, so this desk is sightly apart from everyone elses We all get in shit twe fuck with him an purpose, We ought to know better The sutistic hippo keeps trying to get a reaction out of EB the whole class All af a sudden EB just casualy raises a foot and pushes the Hppo's desk right the fuck over Teacher hurries oer and trying to explan to EB atma Gregs autism while Greg teaks the tack G in his chair, breathing reawy ss thoug gh nong bd sheer辍tstie resentment EB looks at Greg and betsthe teacher "Oh sorry, wedant have Wid bump with more nenhinbeland' h on EB's third day at our school He's a pretty cool guyikes the 쑈me vidya and movies as me and is a big fan of Rugby, was captan of his team back iieland ell hem the school has s rughy searn he says EB goes to check it out, starts off on the lower team because hes think theyire ston of kind of fast runners gets recks fucking everyone that next hal f hel take him Jumps on him, grabs him by the neck to pull him down and iterally rolls on him ike a fucking rolling pn -EB didniteven have the bal What the fook you playin at son I didnt even have the ball, do you even know how to fookin play the game lad EB grins You know over in Ireland you have to be fit to play sports, the fatties get leit on the sideline EB grabs his amn and tosses him to the ground dude twists his anke or something and starts twitching and squeaking lke a baby elephant with parkinsons EB gets put on top team Anonymous (D wHTHOgC) 03 19/14(Wedj20 28 25 UTC-5 No 538041137 Reple 41T months without inc dont give long as youre cool to him dents aside from a few close cals with Greg the Mildly Autistic Hppo e pretty close Apparently ㅲ Ireland they don't have gangs they have paramitanes fighting between whether Northern lreland ts Britsh or hsh >He plays 4down a kal, bd ican tell some shit mu have Pagpened because he always changes the subject when gets clos·tohame Edgy fapgot Luke comes back to school Luke hangs around with a pack of riggers who are all apparenty in a gang, he les to pretend he's part of this "gang" and carries this fucking Stanky e around that he panted red and bue for some reason aOne day at lunch Like corries up to EBied o ofnotere starts askrig his datisalcoholc Nope aound Tm guessin your mam had a far lew belore you were born though mate Well tuck Ind wanna sift speI had to sht out a dat bastardlke yourset. Jog on ン"You win t)4ck with the wrong person t y inst, boy?" EB starts laughing, IHeraly loses his sht at the ste of this Itle fagpot in a trenchc oat with a stanley knfe and actualy presses EB grabs his wrist, takes the fabled blade from the hands of the chosen one tosses t over a fence and punches him straight in the face We're out geting beer, Tm with a 7/10 GT that Ive had a crush on for tucking months Her and EB get along realy wel, athough I sort of think she only hung out with us because EB did That right when we're all drunk, me and QT end up fucking Leaving out my side because this is the ballad of Eght Beer, not me Spend ages taking with QT,estabǐshthat shè apparenty seat, ikes me back EB heads up to bed, I stay down with the other guys to watch TV, QT was askeep when 1 came down QT comes running do wwith a towel round her, soaking wet, and rung out the ont door Apparently EB sleeps naked, not surpnised since Ive found him naked before after a night of drinking Says she came on to himeven ater all he shit she said aLaugh숨 and says he took aprt to bed with hm,awas cn e tablo and when she ed onwth him he lossed all over her Threw her clothes out the wendow into the rain and told her to go and fetch Two weeks later he takes me to a pub and hooks me up with a 910 Anonymous (TDwHT HOC) 03/1914(Wed 20.43 59 UTC-5 No 538044014 Raps.4380408044772 332420 EB and me are total bros after being fnends for a few years 가%aving hm as a best friend is Ike havngtose nasty trainers as a kid Shit get pretty he avy >Him and E汨were close, mostly because EB would buy him vidya and act super interested in the anime sht he lied because nobody else other than me would loses his har chermo aGotovst him, EBisgung me there >He thinks rs awesome get our photo taken together witout any har EB lets him draw all kinds of dumb sh on his bad head, lets him draw a dumb moustache on him o Spend ages just dicking a >Son of a bitch luke who R is, Dukey the Rookie is across the bar in the same tucking trenchcoat he wore back at school >EB says hi chats away to him lbe nothing ever happened >We head home and EB spend the night sitting up with me playing Batlefront on my old P52 and drinking, just trying to cheer me up me every time Sorry for that 2sad4me post, but iti make sense later Anonymous (IO woitth%) 05/19/14(Wed)20 52 46 UTC-5 No 530045357 Reeses 씌38amsrme esaaa Lving together in a let with some chick and her boyfriend The one song I remember is "Uncle Tommy by The Rumjacks, because it played when sht went down EB told them that he "ain't lookin any trouble lads, have a beer and forget that tripe for the night aye? 4 of them jump on him, start beating the shit out of him -l tackle one of them to try help him, get the fuck beaten out of me but fuck that it's goddamn E8 in there EB broke the dudes fucking am He gets up, bleeding out of every pore in his beaunful iwish body Bouncing around with his fists up, Ieraly looks ike he could fly around the room he's bouncing that much The skinheads keep going for him but back off every time aher he swings, it looks lke he could knock a building down with that sh Babbling some incoherent shit in lrish rage, nobody understands the words but everyone understands the meaning pack up there sht ike a scene from a fucking move Eight tucking beersl You splied eight of me fucking beers you hairless tuckin mongrels Eight beers lad, eight fucking beers What's the fucking craic there lke Anonymous (D: wHTiHOgC) 031914(Wed]21:6 02 UTC-5 No. 538047326 EB sgoing back to Ireland to vist his nan, she's real sick 기we lar dr, Befast-thritrs the captal of the oth but not of Ireland ckhow t wori ed EB never eaty expla edit, 5ad you wont understand the bullsh politics unless you grew up there go 1o vist his nan with EB' Sweetest tucking old lady ever, says that EB was always a rough lad but awk he'd never hurt a sour greedy fucker This woman is clearly the most infuenial famly member in the Eight Beer famly EE shows me round Derry, tels me about how 5pIt relgusy and shows methes bg ass wall cood place Takes me to Belast agan and shows methe pace wherethe ttanc was bu -we end up going to place caled The Crown Bar Ger pretty drunk, or Tpped as EB calls it Walked around Belfast for a bt, he tells me about the history of some stuf »Spend a few nights there, have a fucking blast but decide to head home don't wanna be an inrusion on the whole nan stustion Lad you're practicaly a part of the famly Anonymous D wH7HOQC) 03/19/14Wd21 18 48 UTC-5 No 538040230 Getting close to the end now Shits hard to wrte, I miss hat fucker Life is prety uneventful for a wle pparentty some Kiddy Fiddler called Wilm Whight fucked EB when totally agan family home a load of sht, fucks 2EB spends all nut there next to her, nearly gets wolent when staff ask harto leave so doctors can sort some 닸官out calm him down and we wat r, hosptzd for brig bme B's Sister gets beter, but is pretty fucked for life Never taks never leaves the house she's pretty much a goddarmn vegetable EB spends all of his time off work with her, never comes out anymore, just sts in with her. We sometimes come ound and drink with him but he refuses to leave the house -One night while he's sieeping, EB's fucked up sister C's faul, that's pretty much the main subject of t. I don't get why she'd need to say that but whabever Tels me he waan't that close with his family back home his dad is fucked up with grief and everythings just a mess ie doesn't want to go home because he has nothng there other than remnders, but doesn't want to stay here because of what has pened Does his best to be the usual bi9dck coolguy that he always was, puts on a brave face but f you c h him on his own he's luckn9 merable ite gets in 갠 few fights when we're ot dmkrg ry one who gnestmamy 5hvt gets m edistety fucking amidated none ofths ads everyone on" that he used to do s fighting back tears already guessed, but he starts teling me about how he blames himseffor what 거had pened to his sis have tucking known better >Lterally carrot change his mid anthis shit, looks like he has himse#1uly convinced th this is his taut we talk about old imes laugh a be things actualy seem back to normal for whie Ainight mabe. Let's have one for old tme's sake, ae? Hie eventualily leaves, but before he goes he tells me that 'You've been a good mate from day one mate. Honestly out on a limb rd do fuckin' anything for ya Take t easy lad speti ong tme EB doesn't reply to teats or Cutign place doeant answer B tucking hung himsel is fanly tatoo many things that I don't need thanked every tme fucker