#unless they do have a mouth and it's just not visible lmao

[forgettable-au]

So non-divided teeth are one of anatomical visible differences between Gaster and Papyrus, right? Also, does Gaster open his mouth as noticeably as Pap or he’s more like Sans who doesn’t open it visibly?

Yes! And no?

The difference is that Wingdings doesn't open his mouth to talk (like Sans)

And Papyrus does!

The fact that the teeth are non-divided is just my artstyle hehe

Sans and Wingdings could open their mouths but they don't because they don't need to!(They're skeletons. They don't have vocal cords. The sound just comes out because magic. I bet there's some skeletons that don't even have full jaws. This is just my headcanon for skeletons btw!)

Why does Papyrus open his mouth then? Well he saw that everyone else does it and was like

"OH, I SHOULD BE DOING THAT TOO, RIGHT?" And so he started doing it

He wants to look normal

He thinks Sans is very lazy for not doing it lol

[tofixtheshadows]

I should've made this in the first place to go as a reference to my post about Kabru rarely being shown eating (and when he does it, it isn't pleasurable) and linked it somewhere. I didn't feel like I needed to go through every example and based on people's tags I do think everyone gets it ... but I'm compiling this anyway because I find it really interesting from an artistic/writerly standpoint.

Like, Kabru obviously is eating meals in the abstract sense. But as I said, Kui almost never actually draws him putting food in his mouth. At first I assumed that she was avoiding it to save on space because he needs to be shown talking instead, but as I've looked back, I've noted that she doesn't usually shy away from giving characters speech bubbles even when they're chewing or they have utensils in their mouths. Unless they're Kabru.

This would realistically be the best time to actually show him eating, since it's a normal meal at a normal restaurant, but no. He doesn't actually put food in his mouth in this entire scene. They show him taking a bite in the anime, so I almost forgot, but honestly the manga just makes it look like he's picking at his food. Again: I'm sure he does eat this meal. My point is that I think it's a deliberate choice to keep that off-page, to contrast all the other characters who get to both visibly eat food and enjoy it.

As mentioned, Kabru is only shown drinking wine while his party eats the snacks in chapter 32. I think it's possible to infer that he doesn't actually eat any food here at all.

The harpy egg omelette bit barely counts as eating lmao we all saw him struggling to even swallow a bite down. Let's move on.

Quick sidebar:

Are we all going insane over this panel or is it just me? Okay continue.

Like with the omelette, it gets a checkmark for actually going into his mouth but no checkmark for enjoyment. He hates this. He's being spoon fed bad cake and patronized.

Next:

Literally the worst meal in Dungeon Meshi lmao.

Barometz:

He does actually eat this. Rare Kabru mastication panel, not clickbait. But it's kind of a sad moment when you remember that he was looking forward to a cultural dish of his mother's- literal comfort food from his childhood- and instead got the weird godless crab-meat-plant that is the barometz. This may be the only time Kabru goes looking for comfort, and he's pointedly denied it.

Next:

Yeah he isn't drawn eating during this entire scene either. Only drawn holding the food and his utensil.

As stated: still never shown eating. Deliberately shown getting Mithrun to eat instead. Kabru, the call is coming from inside the goddamn house.

Bavarois is next, and once again it gets a checkmark for actual on-page chewing but as we see, he still hates it and has to concentrate very hard and block out all thoughts of what he's doing in order to swallow it down without making a scene.

Okay. Faligon feast. Kabru does canonically spend days eating for the sake of Laios and Falin! Yay! Caloric fucking intake! Clean plate club!

And yet.

Literally shown stopping himself before he can put the food in his mouth.

Mickbell is so real for this. No one needed to hear a lecture from Senshi more than Kabru.

Anyway. Given how surgically precise Kui is with everything else in this story, I just feel the choice to constantly show Kabru focusing on his worries during mealtimes, instead of drawing him just enjoying food, was purposeful.

[moodymisty]

I have another new idea for Cato Sicarius, so we’ve been talking about how Cato Sicarius bullies the reader and sends a truckload of mixed signals with each of their interactions. Now, Sicarius can afford to take this long and painful approach to ‘romancing?’ the reader because he’s doesn’t seem to have any active competition. But what if this wasn’t the case?

Just imagine it, Cato Sicarius sulking and stewing in a corner in rage, watching as another space marine compliments the baseline human and gets her blushing. Now because Sicarius is incapable of basic emotional awareness, he can’t understand that the reason he’s furious, is not because the human woman is wasting his time with frivolously bantering with another marine, but because this space marine is flirting with his human

Now as for the other space marine in this scenario, the obvious choice would be Titus. Because of his natural charisma and being quality husband material. However, you could also have it be a space marine from another legion, someone who’s on Ultramar to meet with Guilliman. Someone who would feasibly come across Guilliman’s favourite cute diplomat. A White Scar who being fun and flirty with the lovely human he just met. Or an Imperial Fist who’s genuinely impressed by the reader’s accomplishments and makes their interest known. Basically Sicarius looks on in envy as he cucked by his cousins

I love this lmao, any opportunity to make Sicarius cope and seethe is good in my books. I wrote this at like 4 in the morning while playing WUWA and keeping an eye on a very sick bird, so forgive any errors.

Warnings: Sicarius’ shitty attitude and being jealous, a dtf Astartes gets all flirty with you, the implication that Sicarius thinks you’re a little harlot for Astartes and really is he wrong?

The Ultramarine couldn’t stop his brother fast enough, speaking to Captain Sicarius through the vox channel connecting their helmets.

“This is going quite well.”

Both Ultramarines then suddenly freeze under the deathly stare of their captain, and they see his heartrates steadily rise in their helmet HUDs.

Higher and higher and higher it goes, as Sicarius’ helmet turns from them back to the scene in front of them. They’ve been tasked to stand guard for you as you greeted the guests aboard the ship, and stand in silence. At least the younger two marines do, the way Sicarius is boiling in his armor is anything but silent.

“Well little one, if you ever find yourself on Fenris, you’re in welcome company.”

A Space Wolf captain gives a wide, toothy smirk at you, and Sicarius turns up his nose at the nonstandard protocol on display at the marine’s red mane of hair. A mess waiting to happen- braids getting caught in armor, something to be grabbed.

“I’m glad to hear that!”

You smile back at him, completely wooed by the Wolf’s obnoxious boisterousness. He’s also massive; Sicarius can see plates of terminator armor blended in with the standard make Astartes armor. The three Space Wolves behind him are smaller, around his size.

The youngest Ultramarine that had nievely commented is visibly confused by his captain’s behavior, while the others, though also confused, have dealt with it for longer and stand in silence. None of them have the command to doubt Sicarius unless there are concerns of him breaching Ultramarine protocol or committing some form of heresy, and so they keep their mouths shut.

“Ahh, but we never realized that the Ultramarines kept such funny little maidens on their ships. Maybe they aren’t as stuck up as we all thought.”

Sicarius seethes; The disrespect on display against the Ultramarines, their primarch, and you! They didn’t even say your proper title, how dare they-

You laugh more, crossing your arms and conveniently accentuating your chest. Sicarius nearly fogs his visor from the heat of his breath. You smile, and the disgusting things that enter his mind at the thought of you and this Space Wolf sicken him. You’ve never displayed the female proclivity for idle chatter so much, he thinks.

Do you, like them? You never act like this in his company. Unless it’s Titus.

“They aren’t as bad as they seem I assure you, they just are very by the rules.” The massive Space Wolf chuckles, before tapping against the bottom of your chin with a knuckle. Sicarius’ heartrate makes a jump, watching you give the wolf a smile with gentle, lazy eyes. He would call them wanton.

Are there no Astartes safe from you? Titus, Helix, half of his men, and now this Space Wolf. He would utter what he thinks you are if he wasn’t dedicated to standing here in silence.

“Alas we should return to our ship. Fenris calls. But we’ll owe you and your Ultramarines a good deal for this assistance. We will not forget this, should you ever call on us for aid.”

Your Ultramarines?

Sicarius swallows a knot in his throat. You do not own him; If anything, Primarch Guilliman owns you, though Sicarius doesn’t understand still why his primarch deems it so valuable. Have you wooed him all the same?

No; His primarch would never fall for such a cheap display of whorish charm. Never. He will not falter either, unlike Titus.

You smile warmly again, face warm at the wolf’s tender touch.

“Then we wish you all safe travels on your return to Fenris.” The space wolves leave, and you turn around to face them all, including Sicarius. You’re much more composed now, smile much smaller and contained. Proper and respectful, unlike moments before.

“That went well. I should report all of this to Guilliman.”

Sicarius doesn’t say anything more than an irritated grunt, turning away.

[billdenbrough]

this one is kinda convoluted to explain LMAO basically @naturecalls111, @wyverningx and i were discussing one of mina's wips on twt (the summer beach episode, the finished version of which can be found here) and the convo turned to kevin dealing with aaron's thighs around his head. mina said something about still deciding which way kevin would be facing, which i think meant like. left or right. but i was still fixed on the legs around his head and was like. what. like i was thinking forward or back, got confused, so wrote her this to explain what i was visualising, and then she was like ok now post LMAO notsfw warning!! kevin's fantasies get reasonably in-depth and also vaguely unhinged. but it's shenanigans-y <3

Kevin’s top three fantasies this month—he’s pretty diligent about cycling them through, keeping them seasonally relevant, you know—are, as follows:

Kevin’s gold medal—origin unimportant to the fantasy, though it was the Olympics last time—is over both his and Aaron’s necks at the same time, forcing them to press in close, the way Kevin likes. He doesn’t know if this one is physically feasible—maybe he can get a custom ribbon—but he doesn’t care. It makes him feel hot all over, cheeks flushed and dick leaking, to think about the two of them pressed that close together, naked and sweaty and the exhilaration of victory flowing through them both. Kevin’s pride and satisfaction, and Aaron looking at him, that proud smile, rare but fierce, and it’s all for him. Eyes intent, dark, wanting Kevin, proud of Kevin, celebrating Kevin. Kevin’s not too proud to admit that sometimes he can come from that alone, even before he imagines his hand wrapped around both their dicks, or kissing his name out of Aaron’s mouth, or Aaron fucking into him while Kevin tries—and fails—not to chase his mouth for a kiss.

Aaron is sitting on the edge of the pier, ostensibly looking out over the ocean while the rest of their friends do whatever it is they’re doing. Kevin doesn’t bother to fill in those sorts of details in his fantasies, and the auto-complete in his brain is impeded by the fact that when he’s with Aaron, he doesn’t pay attention to them in the background unless they’re being especially loud, annoying or incorrect. So in Kevin’s head, they’re mostly an unfinished sketch background, doing something or other while Aaron looks over the ocean, looking at a distance like some character in one of Jean’s arthouse films. The reality of it is that Kevin is swimming beneath the pier, bobbing his head over Aaron’s dick. Kevin is often a merman in this, when the athlete part of his brain wakes up enough to be like, your muscles would give up before you made Aaron come, and you can’t have that, which is annoying but true. So sometimes Kevin is a merman, and then he has a tangential fantasy in those cases which involves whisking Aaron beneath the ocean and showing him how cool and handsome and good-at-things Kevin is in his natural element, and Aaron is like okay, sure, but can I look at your gills again? in an attempt to not seem so awestruck by Kevin, but his cheeks give him away every time, because Kevin always knows Aaron in his head, even when his fantasies lend themselves to something else. That’s a tangent, anyway. The important thing is sucking off Aaron at the beach while everyone else is there and can’t tell. Kevin came to that one in the shower earlier.

Aaron’s thighs are around Kevin’s head. The reason doesn’t really matter. These days, it’s usually some stupid competition at the beach, because it’s summer and everyone Kevin knows is a competitive asshole, or they’re Andrew, meaning just an asshole, or Jeremy, meaning just competitive. Aaron is sitting on Kevin’s shoulders, his quads visibly working as he clenches his thighs tight around Kevin’s head. Kevin at one point had to fact-check this, wondering if maybe he was just contouring Aaron’s thighs in a horny haze, but no. When they next went to the beach and Kevin watched Aaron’s legs as he took a running jump off the edge of the pier, there was definite action in the quadriceps. Unrelatedly, Kevin had to excuse himself by jumping into the ocean too. Matt had been baffled and Seth had given him a look somewhere between calculating and disgusted, but for the most part, Kevin thinks it was a successful swerve. Anyway. Kevin’s fantasy. Aaron’s thighs are around his head, clenching tight, and Kevin’s dick is hard as a rock. Sometimes Aaron notices, and says something. Sometimes Aaron notices, and his dick stirs against Kevin’s head. Sometimes Aaron doesn’t notice, or doesn’t say anything if he does, and Kevin gets edged by his own fucking head, painfully hard while Aaron says stuff like hurry up, I want to beat Neil or a little to the left, the light is to the left, do you have working eyes or stop fucking moving, I don’t want her to claw out my eyes because you’re complaining about your shoes, I can almost reach her. But that’s usually enough for Kevin, the idea of being so completely surrounded by Aaron’s body heat, the firm muscles in his thighs, the softness of the skin on the underside, pressed against Kevin’s shoulders.

So Kevin is really at a loss when that fantasy starts playing out in person, but develops in a direction he’d never anticipated. Specifically, Neil and Aaron grappling, and then Neil not letting go—because he is the worst person on the entire planet—when Nicky sneak-attacks Matt, Matt loses his footing a little and falls sideways, and Neil fucking swivels Aaron around Kevin’s neck on his way down into the ocean.

Aaron’s startled whoa! is going to live in Kevin’s head forever, probably. Part of him is also impressed at Aaron’s quick instincts, moving his feet enough that they don’t get caught on Kevin’s chest and unbalance them too.

Most of him is stuck in the current moment, though, face-to-face with Aaron’s crotch.

He can feel his dick against his face. He can smell it.

He—horrifyingly, desperately, unsurprisingly—wants to taste it.

[bambiraptorx]

Okay, since there was some interest in seeing this short story, here it is. The working title is Foot Quest but I might change that lmao

— — —

The Dragon cracked open an eye at the distant sound of footsteps echoing faintly down the halls of its cavern.  A group of several people, accompanied by hearty squabbling and crass insults.  Hm, it hadn’t had visitors in quite some time.  Perhaps these ones would be entertaining before being eaten.

It closed its eye and curled deeper into its golden hoard.  It would find out soon enough.

— — —

Another sound roused it shortly after, the sliding click of coins and jewels being displayed. Whether from a not-so-sly attempt to pocket a few of its gold pieces or to scale its prodigious hoard, the Dragon did not care.  It cracked open a different eye.  It was always better to observe one’s meal a bit before consumption, after all.

The figure below (rather far away, at nearly the bottom of its hoard) appeared to have sat down for a moment, possibly on one of the treasure chests that stayed down there.  The wooden boxes were always a bit too odd and lump-like to do anything other than inhibit quality rest.  From the Dragon’s best guess, it was likely a human.  No beard, ears too small to be one of its cave goblins, and none of that insufferable stench elves carried with them wherever they went. That made it edible.

The biped shifted a bit, then jumped off the chest completely, flourishing what appeared to be a tiny dagger.  It was too far away to truly tell.  In any case, they seemed to realize rather quickly how ineffective their speck of a blade would be, and lowered it shamefacedly.

“... …. ……. ..?” What was that?  The Dragon tilted its head at the human’s distant mouth sounds.  Given that such things were distinctly less worthy of its attention than sounds like footfalls or clicking gold pieces tended to be, it wasn’t used to attending to such tongues.  How did human speech go again?  It hadn’t tested its vocal cords in some time.  

“Ahem.  Speak louder, puny thing.”  It freed an arm from its bed, glittering jewels cascading down the hills of hoard.  Pity, it would have to pick those up later.  Preferably after a snack.

The human took a step back.  Then raised their hands to their face, cupping them around their mouth.  “I apologize for the intrusion!”

Not the typical first words of a prospective breakfast.  “Do those companions of yours offer the same?”

The biped made some small motion with a hand.  “I think the goblins got to them!”

Well, good.  That was what the Dragon kept them around for.  Cleaning out the tunnels.

“You realize you shan’t leave, morsel.”  The Dragon flicked a few eyes open and shut, blinking away the sleep-grime.  “Intruders are only welcome if they become… long-term guests.”

A rather clever way to put it, if it said so itself, but if the human agreed they were unfortunately too far away for it to tell.  Instead of answering, the two-legged thing displayed a tremendous amount of stupidity by beginning to climb up the steep slopes of the hoard, even daring to come closer to the side with the Dragon’s head clearly visible.  A deliciously foolish endeavor.

The human stopped once more over a small rise in the glittery piles, still rather far for the Dragon to reach unless it really stood up and stretched its neck out to catch them.  Perhaps not so unintelligent after all?  “There!  Can you hear me better now?” 

The Dragon stretched for a moment, the gold covering it slowly giving way to its limbs.  Ugh, this was a most encumbering way to have fallen asleep.  “You must be exceptionally stupid or desperate to approach me.”  Evidence pointed to the latter, but of course the former would be the tastier option.

Their face moved strangely, an awkward display of baring small, flat teeth.  “Oh, I just came to ask a question.  Care to share a small amount of your wealth with a humble orphan?” “Not a chance.”

“...perhaps a loan?” “Mm… no.  Loans are for goblins only, which you clearly are not.”  The Dragon shook its head, shiny objects spinning away with loud crashes as they tumbled downwards and smacked against things.  Its neck was that much more mobile with the gold around it lessened.

“And at any rate, little thing, you’ve interrupted my sleep.  And so—” it worked the other forelimb free, its tail almost there—“You are to be my dinner, as is the way of things.”  Unless they did something worth its attention, but it was rapidly growing bored.

“Wait wait wait, please, I beg you, don't—your arm,” the human babbled.  “Leg.  Limb?”

It spared a glance for its stump, the limb most likely visible from the human's current location.  “Yes, that.  Staring is not appreciated, insect.”  The last human to make it this far had said something annoyingly rude, and had needed to be eaten immediately as a result.  A pity, wizards never tasted too good.  All the thick wooly robes got caught in its teeth.

“No, I mean—” quite unexpectedly, the human sat down again, this time on a rise in the piles of gold, and did something to one of their lower limbs that appeared to involve undoing numerous straps, then held the limb out towards the Dragon. 

…It didn’t know the smaller races could do that.  It had never paid them much attention, to be sure, but weren't their limbs supposed to stay attached to their bodies?

“Here, my prosthesis.  I lost the leg as a girl, it was some sickness the local apothecary couldn’t cure.  Better limb than life, I think she said.  And a while after that, I got another one to help me walk, but I’m still—we’ve got that in common.” the human explained breathlessly.

The Dragon lowered its head (interesting, how this ant-like creature barely flinched at its approach) and turned a set of eyes towards the thing.  A facsimile of a leg, carved of wood with fabric and that cow-skin two-leggers were so fond of hanging off in thinnish bits and pieces.  It even had a shoe to match the other one the biped wore.

It huffed, a gentle stream of smoke escaping its jaws to envelop the small figure.  “Mildly interesting, I suppose.  But why should I care?”

“The people outside haven’t seen you in over a century. It would do them well to remember your presence here,” the human said.  Some small expression, too quick for the Dragon to read, crossed her face.  “And… I know what it’s like.  Losing a limb, figuring out how to live afterwards.  Besides, the gnomish craft cities aren’t too far from here, and you know they love a challenge.  You’ve got plenty of gold to spare, and they’d think it an honor to craft something for you.”

The Dragon reared its head back.  “I have no need of gnome workmanship, you little asp.  I am a great thing, powerful and fearsome!  There is nothing here that needs to be fixed!”  Its wings were yet buried, or it would have beat them dramatically for emphasis.  Perhaps the brat was back on the menu.

“Please, it’s—it’s not—it wouldn’t be for fixing!” The human yelled, her hands lifted to shield her face.  “It would be a tool!  To make things easier!”

It stared down its nose at her.  “And why should I bother with such a… tool?”

“You don’t have to,” came the answer.  “Lots of people don’t.  But I know the merchants from here to Ocean’s Crest, I know the metalsmiths and leather workers and tailors, and there’s dozens of ways that a leg can be built.  And look, I can tell you it won’t fix things all the way.  It might create other problems.  But I can tell you this much—it works for me.  And it might be able to work for you?”

The human held her hands outstretched above her head, a gesture something like a plea.  For mercy, perhaps, or more time, or some other petty human desire. If the Dragon was already awake, it might as well move around a bit.

The Dragon blinked three eyes at once, snorted and began to stand, gold slithering over its scales as it shook itself free of its hoard.  “You have piqued my interest, ant.  I shall embark with you on this journey of yours.  Now put back those coins you have in your pocket.”

[ckret2]

@horridrabbitcreature said: Ok now tell us how they breed. For educational purposes

Honestly and sincerely, I do not know how Bill's species breeds lmao.

It's a problem of aesthetics, to me. A shape in the style of Bill Cipher has a simple, clean, minimalist perimeter, with perhaps only a couple of arms and legs and (in their home dimension) an eyeball on one corner.

If you headcanon they have the traditional hole or pole anatomy like humans do, it mars their nice, simple perimeter. If you come up with some complicated way to hide the equipment—something like a cloaca—that still will probably be seen on their edge, which I don't like, and anyway I personally feel like "yeah they've got equipment (it's just perfectly hidden most of the time)" is a little goofy and the coward's way out.

You could incorporate it into their existing anatomy—make up an alien way to stuff a reproductive system into their eyeballs, for instance—but I already do SO MUCH with their eye (it's for seeing AND it's their mouth hole AND they probably hear through there) that trying to find a way to shove in a reproductive system feels like too much, so I'm not doing that.* And they don't have much visible anatomical features OUTSIDE of eyes to work with.

(* "What do you mean you're not putting their genitalia in their eyes, you just wrote a whole chapter about Bill being into weird eye stuff?" The eye stuff is Bill's fetish, not a reflection of normal shapes' sexual behavior, and all Bill's shape buddies think he's a freak for it. Glad we clarified this.)

You could invent an entirely new alien reproductive method that gets around the issue, but unless how they reproduce becomes relevant to the fic I'm writing (doubtful), that's a HUGE superfluous avenue of worldbuilding that wouldn't contribute anything but pointless complicated info.

So I don't know how they breed because right now it just doesn't matter to the story I'm telling.

Here's what I do know about their reproduction:

It requires one line and one polygon (triangle, quadrangle, pentagon, etc). (This is not without purpose; I'm all for alien reproductive methods that don't involve pairing up, but in this case for "Bill keeps accidentally paralleling the human characters' experiences" reasons it was necessary to give him a crummy mom-and-dad like Pacifica, Gideon, and Stan+Ford.) Each kind of shape (lines included) is genetically a separate sex and socially considered a separate gender.

"each shape is a separate sex" actually only goes up so far. Shapes with a ridiculously high number of sides aren't naturally occurring and are the result of selectively breeding for extra sides, and often requires mutations or inbreeding. Creating a circle is like spending several centuries selectively breeding humans for polydactyly until you have a baby with thirty fingers. By Bill's time the practice of selectively breeding for sides was scientifically discredited and effectively dead.

Similarly, "each generation your angles/sides should increase" was proven to be rubbish. It's all sex chromosomes.

I've been toying with the idea of making lines a small proportion of the population rather than 50%, to reduce how much it feels like the species is a binary "50% female (lines) and 50% male of various flavors (polygons)"; but if there's so few lines then to maintain the population there might be some kind of "a line can have multiple spouses" rule; maybe a line can legally take one spouse of each shape but NOT, say, two triangles or something; but then that's verging on "to what end am I making this so complicated? What's the point? Does it have any impact on Bill's life?" so I might just chuck that idea. (A lot of my worldbuilding is driven by "Bill's species is extinct in the wild, so justify why exploring this matters?")

Similarly, I've considered maybe making the way the species experiences romantic feelings vary between sexes—like, maybe usually only lines fall in love for some reason, or maybe if there's a town that's 10% line 10% square 10% miscellaneous and 70% triangle then newborn triangles are naturally inclined toward being ace/aro to rebalance the population numbers. Sorta inspired by like how frogs spontaneously change sexes if the pond's population is too unbalanced. The reason I'm considering this is because having Bill experience romantic feelings & falling in love at the same rate as allo humans (like, what, every few years? Constantly maybe?) is just ridiculous for a character who's a trillion years old; but if I'm gonna say "oh he only falls in love once a million years or whatever" I want a good reason that isn't just he hasn't met someone ~special~ enough; and I DON'T want the reason to be "he's ace and/or aro and could reasonably identify that way" because having Bill frigging Cipher grapple with that queer experience just does NOT excite me. Basically—as an ace/aro myself, I don't want it to be possible for ace/aro-ness to be one of the reasons Bill feels fundamentally Weird. Turns me off. So I'm toying with, maybe I could build his species in such a way that, for him, being aro-ish or ace-ish would be seen as normative & expected, rather than queer; so I could still have him only wanna date once every million years WITHOUT feeling like that's a part of his identity he needed to explore at some point. But idk futzing around with how his species experiences romance might be unnecessarily complicated when I could just, like, not point out that only dating once every million years is unusual, and most readers would just roll with it without question.

So, these are the thoughts I've had about how reproduction works in Bill's species.

Still have no idea how they fuck.

[octolingo-writes]

MAY I GET DIRECTORS COMMENTARY ON THIS PART FROM UR FIC

The thoughts bombarded him like bullets to his heart and mind, and before Chip could do anything he felt himself spiraling. Oh gods, he was dead. His heart was missing. Captain Widow had literally ripped his heart out of his mouth. He could still taste the blood in the back of his throat—or could he? Could he even taste anything anymore? Was anything he felt real, anything he heard, anything he saw? Was he even real?

Chip didn’t know. For once in his life, Chip was completely without a plan. There was nothing he could do to help himself. He was dead, dead, dead, dead, dead—

“Chip,” a voice said, and a warm hand put itself on Chip’s arm. He jolted, sucking air in through his lungs more out of reflex than necessity, and sat up sharply, turning to look at—at Jay, who blinked, startled, at Chip’s sudden reaction. “Hey, there you are. You back?”

:0 of course! Honestly, I think the main thing I wanted to do here was to really quickly escalate the fic, because I knew I wanted Chip to be comforted by Jay and Gill, but since Chip was keeping to himself and wasn't in visible distress, I felt like Gill and Jay would've kept their distance unless they visibly saw that something was wrong, which is what Chip's intense dissociation was supposed to do--it's pretty likely that Jay or Gill tried to talk to Chip while he was dissociating and panicking, and so when he didn't respond they knew something was wrong

I also may have projected a little (a lot) because I tend to get lost in my own head really easily, and this bleeds into the characters I write because frankly I get lost in my own writing and then characters just start to spiral lmao--

So yeah, that was my thought process! Projection and a need for Chip to be comforted :)

[thefanciestborrower]

🤲 be vore chill thoughts, hand 'em over

Okay so it’s been a hot minute since I last saw the show so bare with me on this one lol. It might be a little all over the place

Jeremy...oh sweet Jeremy 

He’s a pred through and through 

I think that might be one of the reasons he got the squip actually 

Because let’s face it, high schoolers would...not be kind about that sort of thing 

I wanna say he might even be a shifter too cause that would just be cool lol

Boy can get big if he wants 

It’s not something that happens often because he just doesn’t like doing it

But under large amounts of stress or other high emotions his hight might start to fluctuate a bit 

As a pred he’s an absolute mess 

Lots of fidgeting with whoever he’s got in his hands and non stop talking in an attempt to make things less awkward 

King of mouthplay 

Like, he doesn’t realize he’s doing it half the time, but he has this tendency to swish someone around in his mouth quite a bit 

Doesn’t do much in the way of nibbling just cause that makes him nervous 

But he’ll squish them to the roof of his mouth and suck on them a bit like candy 

He also tends to swallow without much warning just because he forgets he should probably give one 

His stomach is actually surprisingly roomy and not very loud or active 

So it makes a great spot to hang out 

Unless he’s nervous of course 

Then it gets super loud and might squish whoever’s inside because of how tense he gets 

I love Christine so much and defiantly think she’s a prey 

Just, full prey through and through

And a really enthusiastic prey too 

With friends she trusts she won’t hesitate to practically dive down their throats if she so desires 

She’ll ramble on and on for ages about someone’s insides which greatly embarrasses poor Jeremy

Michael thinks it’s hilarious 

I can see her as someone who really likes foodplay tbh

It’s gross and messy sure 

But it’s fun too!

She especially likes being eaten with sweets like pudding 

And drinks too

Catch her chilling in your cup of cocoa or coffee after you left it unattended for five minutes 

She’s very good at calming down whoever she’s eaten by if they start stressing 

Gal is a master of soft belly rubs and very sincere rambling encouragements 

This is especially effective for cheering up Jeremy

She also loves spending time inside during sleepovers and you just can’t say no to those puppy eyes 

Michael is the most chaotic switch in the world 

But he prefers being eaten when it comes down to it 

He spends so much time in Jeremy tbh

Especially in his mouth 

He likes being fidgeted with and squished around for as long as Jeremy wants 

He doesn’t like being swallowed before he’s had a chance to situate himself though so when that happens he’ll usually give Jeremy a little a kick once he’s down

Nothing hard, just a playfully annoyed action

He’s been known to hotbox when eaten lmao so if you wanna eat him maybe check to make sure he doesn’t have anything stashed on him

It makes Jeremy hiccup up smoke every time 

He loves vibing with Christine inside Jeremy and they’ll team up to give him practically incapacitating belly rubs 

It’s also prime hangout spot during sleepovers 

I mentioned Michael is a switch and boy is he

He quite enjoys eating Christine from time to time and he’ll tease Jeremy about it 

He’s very unembarrassed as a pred around close friends 

Lots of lounging around with a visibly full belly and openly talking with whoever’s inside

He’s more prone to eating someone when he’s high just because 

Well

He’s hungry lmao

He would eat Jeremy but since he’s a pred Christine becomes the primary snack

And she really doesn’t mind at all 

[griefabyss69]

Getting a look at your WIP folder is so interesting!

I couldn't decide if I wanted to ask about the LARP AU one or one of the philias or Hell Patrol 3 and therefore decided on "per our stoned conversation" solely because it sounds really really fun 😊

Hellooo! I tried to post this twice already and it wouldn't save so I hope this time works <3 This is a recent WIP, started in October just to have something to stretch my writing muscles (and so honestly the whole beginning scene doesn't make sense for the rest of it. Lots of editing to do!) and then I just started to absolutely love it. So this is definitely one of those ones that'll be posted.... one day LMAO Under the cut - Rated M - Steddie WIP Folder Ask Game

Eddie's spine does something where he curls in on himself for a second before he seems to pick himself up like he's got a puppet string attached to his head, and he nods.

"Right, that," he says, a visible swallow highlighting his throat. "Sooo…"

Steve waits, blinking slowly at him.

He seems nervous, had seemed straight up anxious on the phone, but given how Steve's lived through so much bullshit he's not about to start getting nervous himself unless there's a good reason for it.

The sudden realization that no matter what, he trusts Eddie - even if he knows the guy's a good liar - glimmers up in his chest like he's put some heavy metal fairy dust in there.

It's as thrilling as it is a big fucking relief.

"So," Eddie coughs awkwardly, scratching lightly at the corner of his mouth. "Do you remember the last time we got high? And how we both got really fucked up and it was all really cool and fun but there was… we had some uh… Conversations…"

Ohhh, okay. He's got this.

Steve tilts his head at him, the way he knows drives women crazy when he's being sweet even as he's offering them something that's probably the most sexually adventurous they'll ever get.

"Yeah, I remember," he says, his smile real but carefully practiced anyway. "Is this about the existential crisis thing? Or is it about the weird sex stuff thing?"

Eddie stares blankly at him, the little furrow coming back.

"What existential crisis thing? Am I forgetting a whole…" he waves his hand around, abrupt and a little agitated. "A whole crisis?"

Steve shakes his head, his smile breaking out it's perfected prison as he can't help but laugh. Eddie's cute in a way that forces him to be honest.

"Maybe? It wasn't really a crisis and more like wondering about space and stuff," he says, downplaying the extremely intense discussion they had about humanity and aliens and time. "It doesn't matter, what's up with the sex talk? If it was too much I can like, tone it down."

He's got the feeling that usually precedes a three-pointer, or the knowledge he just swam his fastest lap, two things he hasn't accomplished in ages, and it's good, it tells him that Eddie is so not bringing this up to tell Steve he was being too much.

Still, it's an easy offer and an easy out. Steve hopes he doesn't take it, but as much as he likes watching him squirm, he doesn't want him to be like legit uncomfortable.

"No it was…" Eddie sighs, looking up at the ceiling. "Good. It was really good."

Steve's heart skips through a sunny meadow.

"Yeah? I thought so too," he says, sitting up on his elbows, letting his shirt pull tightly over his chest. "I told you some things that I've only ever kept in my head."

Eddie's nerves disintegrate like sugar in water, the puppetmaster above him loosening the tight strings that held him tense.

"Yeah," he breathes, smiling down at him. "I've been thinking about it."

Steve could take a bite out of him; though judging by the new things he learned about him, that's more Eddie's thing. Maybe both of them could have it as a thing, he'd have to try it out.

"What've you been thinking?" He asks, satisfaction dripping hot under his skin. "Anything in particular?"

Eddie nods, his eyes catching on Steve's chest where his nipples push against the fabric of his shirt. Steve watches him lose himself for a moment, another heavy swallow breaking him out of his little trance, his eyes snapping back up to meet Steve's.

"Uh, yes," he chokes out, swallowing again. "A few things, and maybe we could talk about them all, but there's definitely something I… I honestly can't stop wondering about."

Steve's grateful that a "sorry" doesn't slip out of Eddie's mouth at all, because the last thing he wants is for either of them to get into the habit of apologizing to each other for shit that doesn't need it, but Eddie does seem like he's close to it.

"Tell me," he whispers, letting his hips tilt out casually as he adjusts the way he's laying.

Maybe the way he looks up at him through his eyelashes and smiles is laying it on thick, but it works. He knows it does, because Eddie's thighs tense up as his breath catches. It's nice that this works on men too, because he thinks if Eddie pulled it with him he'd be the one trying to be subtle as he clenched his fists at his sides, cheeks getting a little redder.

"I-I… Jesus Christ, okay," he says, tilting his head back with his eyes closed. "You said uh, you said you want to be used, like in a specific way, I…"

[streetknown]

FIRST MEETINGS MEME a meme for first meetings and  introduction threads, aka a ‘what you will notice about my muse first’  cheat sheet. repost, don’t reblog. bold what applies. fill in details.  (please do not remove the credit + blank meme link)

blank meme: x

GENERAL APPEARANCE

Gender: Cisgender female

Race/Ethnicity: White 

Complexion: Very fair skinned-- hasn’t tanned much throughout her life so her skin has stayed pale. When she blushes or gets heated, it’s extremely obvious on her face. She’s got a few scattered freckles over her nose due to the sun exposure she HAS had

Height: 5′1

Body Type: Ectomorph. 

Body Build: Skinny with a good amount of lean muscle in her legs and arms and baby abs. Her breasts are small and so are her hips, but her thighs (and ass lmao) are a good, strong size. Does not look as strong as she really is.

Body Hair: Minimal. Her arm and leg hair is barely visible due to how pale blonde it is, though she doesn’t shave her legs at all. Will keep herself shaved under the belt most of the time, and when she has time, she forms the hair there into a heart or a landing strip.

Head Hair: A good mix between golden and pale blonde. Thin but healthy, since she’s never dyed it at all. Her hair grows pretty fast so she cuts it herself frequently. Has had the side shaved ever since she got out of prison. 

Eye color: Vibrant, strikingly blue. In Cyberpunk verse, her eyes glow bright due to a cosmetic implant. 

Scars: The most visible one is on her face, left by an angry ex boyfriend. She has several more scattered all over her body due to her merc jobs, most being small from bullet shots or pocket knife stabbings. The largest one on her body is on her right thigh from getting stabbed by a butcher knife.

FASHION

Fashion Style: Street punk and traditional goth when she has the time. 

Color Palette: 98% black, 2% purple. 

Typical Clothing:  Black cargo pants with a crop top-- she has a lot of different crop tops she likes to wear, either with long sleeves or cut off sleeves. Combat boots, always. When she has time to mess around, she likes to wear gothic dresses and skirts and high-heeled boots or heels. 

Piercings: Multiple piercings on both ears. Eyebrow is pierced, as well as the bridge of her nose. Under her clothes, her nipples are pierced and so is her clit, because duh, it’s Vera. 

Tattoos: Too many to count. The most in-your-face ones are the knife and centipede on her face, as well as the plant veins on her head, extending all the way down to her arm. 

Other Information: Vera will wear the least amount of clothes as possible when she’s not on a job. She loves showing skin and wears extremely tiny shorts and shirts most of the time. She’s not ashamed about it. 

EXPRESSION

General Facial Expression: Irritated and/or snarky most of the time. She doesn’t have an approachable face and she’s scowling more often than not. With her little crooked mouth, her smiles seem taunting and cocky.

Default Body Language: Rushed and unsociable. She likes to take up as much space as she can and just comes off as extremely rude and like someone who doesn’t have time to bullshit around. It’s mostly true. 

General Movements:  She’s pretty jittery-- you won’t catch her sitting or standing still for long. She likes to move around and do stuff with her hands, so she’ll typically have a cigarette between her fingers or a pocketknife to flip around and mess with. 

NOTABLE FOR RP

Presence: Anxiety inducing. She seems incapable of fully relaxing and mostly always seems on edge and it’s not something she can really hide from others, so that tends to be noticed by whoever she’s around. 

Appearance: Sewer rat vibes most of the time. Her makeup tends to be smudged all the time and unless she’s meeting with a fixer or doing a job or going out with someone important, she does NOT look put together or clean. 

Scent: Cigarettes and/or alcohol. When she showers the smell of her lavender shampoo and body wash stays on her for days due to how concentrated it is. She can smell pretty sweaty when she hasn’t been able to shower in a couple days. 

Voice Description: A bit raspy-- smoother than people assume, can get very high pitched when she’s yelling or worked up. She has no issues with being LOUD and getting her point across. She doesn’t have the voice of a shy girl. 

Accent: No accent for the most part. She did grow up with a lot of Spanish being spoken around her so SOMETIMES some weird influence of that slips out, but that’s it. 

Speech Mannerisms: Very lingo-based and leaves out pronouns in most of her sentences, tends to start with the verb instead of “I” or “he/she/they”. Extremely informal and what the old folks would describe as “punk”, does not show respect with her words and curses excessively. 

Anything else to add? she can’t read or write and she’s just an absolute goddamn menace to night city, thanks. 

[dem-obscure-imagines]

Just the Three of Us

Steve Harrington x Reader x Eddie Munson

Fandom: Stranger Things

AU: Soulmate

Summary: After crashlanding in the mystical magical world of the 1980s, you discover that you have not one, but two soulmates and they are determined to take the best care of you they possibly can.

Note: Takes place sometime after Season 4 I guess?? Everyone lives and is happy (even though we don’t have those answers yet lmao). Also, yes another Soulmate AU. So sorry, but I am trash. Consider this my apology for discontinuing Stranded lol.

Warnings: poly fluff, swearing

Word Count: 3.2k

Reader Is: Female

Holy fuck, did your head hurt. Your ears were ringing really loudly and everything was black. Add to the list your limbs felt like they were full of sand and you were not having a good time. After a long moment, the ringing began to subside enough to make out some (unfamiliar) voices, who seemed to be bickering above you somewhere.

“She needs to go to a hospital. Like, now.” One of the voices argued. “Look at her.”

“And tell them what, Steve, that she fell from the sky?” Another voice, this one younger, replied.

“I don’t know, man, I think Harrington’s right. She doesn’t look so good.” A third voice, this one a bit deeper than either of the others, said. “Add to that the fact that she fell from the fucking sky.”

You tried your best to lift your eyelids, but everything was so heavy. Too heavy to move.

“Well we have to do something! We can’t just stand there and let her—” This voice sounded like a girl. A paranoid one at that.

“Wait, look.” The deep voice said, causing all of the others to stop talking for a moment. Even with your eyes closed, you could feel all of their gazes on you.

You attempted to speak, to say something, but the best you could manage was a low whine. You wiggled your fingers the slightest bit, pushing, pushing, pushing to the surface.

“I think she can hear us.” The first voice, Steve, deduced.

You felt a hand against yours. Large, warm fingers, and something cold, like metal.

“Hey, it’s okay. Take your time.” The deeper voice encouraged.

You took a long, deep breath, and then, after an impossibly long moment, you managed to open your eyes, all of your limbs tingling as you did so. “Fuck.” You groaned, struggling to move, but realizing very quickly that that wouldn’t be happening just yet.

“Oh my God,” The girl said, a hand covering her mouth. Her hair was cut short and there was this quirky, unexplainable energy about her. “Hi. Um. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” You replied, exhaling a sigh as you looked to the others in the room. And as soon as you did, something was…wrong. For starters, one of them looked like he’d stepped out of an 80’s hair band, and the other older boy looked like he had about half a tub of hair gel holding up his shiny brown hair. “Oh God…” You muttered.

Slowly, you began to sit up. There was a fourth person in the room, this one obviously younger than the other three. He was wearing a baseball cap with vibrant neon letters on it, and he had a walkie-talkie in his hand. They all stared at you, waiting for you to speak, or say something further.

“I…where am I?”

“Hawkins, Indiana.” The youngest said, his eyes expectant.

You pressed your lips together, skeptical to say the least. “No, that can’t…” You looked at the décor around the room, old posters for movies and musicians and they were all a little…too vintage to be anything anyone your age would have. Well…unless… “Is this…What…year is it?”

You asked the question slowly and they were all quiet for a really long time, staring at you like you’d sprouted antennae all of a sudden.

“You’re not saying what I think you’re saying, right?” The youngest asked, visibly getting a bit excited at the prospect. “Because if you’re saying what I think you’re saying…”

“Let her speak, Dustin, Jesus.” The guy with the gel in his hair, Steve, you connected, based on his voice.

“Because, I mean, you all look like you’re…from like the ‘80s.” You shook your head. You sounded crazy even saying it out loud. “But that would be—”

“It’s not crazy.” The girl reassured you. “Because, uh, it is the ‘80s. 1986.”

“Fuck.” You repeated, this time more in awe and shock than when you had groaned it before in nothing but pain. Though, you would admit, you were a little nauseous, thinking about it. “I…wow.”

“You okay?” The guy with the deeper voice and the hair band hair asked, noticing your discomfort.

“I don’t know.” You repeated, shaking your head and letting out a breathy laugh. “Holy fuck this is not happening…” To say you were having a bit of a breakdown was putting it lightly.

“Do you remember what happened before you came here?” Dustin asked.

“Yeah, I blew out my birthday candles.”

“Happy birthday!” The girl said sincerely.

You smiled. “Thank you.” You paused, thinking back. “Yeah, no, that’s it. Twenty-first birthday party one minute and this couch the next.”

Putting the pieces together, you rolled up the sleeve of your shirt. Sure enough, there it was, silver and gleaming and glittering and fresh. Your soulmark.

“You…you don’t happen to know a Steve Harrington or an Eddie Munson, do you?” You looked up at them, watching their faces as they looked at you and then each other, and then raced to lift their sleeves to look for themselves.

“You’re (Y/N) (L/N)?” Steve asked tentatively, reading from his arm and looking up at you.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Holy fuck! I knew it!” Eddie jumped, pumping his fist while Steve’s handsome features broke into a giant smile, looking at you with soft eyes. Eddie knelt down in front of you and took your hand in his, looking into your eyes. “I knew there was something about you.” He paused for a moment. “But seriously, do you need to go to the hospital?”

***

It had been approximately an hour. Steve got you some Tylenol and a Cherry Coke and made sure you were comfortable on the couch. Dustin looked like it was taking every ounce of self-control he had to not ask you a billion questions, and Eddie hadn’t left your side for a single second. Robin, meanwhile, was informing the rest of their friend group as to what had happened, and developing a more permanent plan for you.

“When are you from?” Dustin finally cracked, curiosity glinting in his eyes. He had a notebook on hand.

“Dustin, please.” Steve said, exasperated.

“It’s okay.” You told him, chuckling softly. Steve and Eddie both waited for your answer as well, more than curious, due to your connection to them. “I’m from 2022.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped and Steve’s eyes widened. “That’s uh…” Eddie started to do the math in his head, but stopped when he realized what a large number it was. He whistled. “That’s a while from now.”

Steve made an awkward face. “Yeah, you could say that again.”

“How long have you two had your marks?” You asked both of them, looking from one to the other.

Steve chuckled to himself. “It’s only been a few months since we figured out we were each other’s soulmates. But we’d never even heard your name before, (Y/N).”

“Been looking for you ever since, though.” Eddie amended quickly. “To no avail, for obvious reasons.”

You looked down at his shirt. “Is that an X-Men reference?”

“Is what—” He looked down and then smiled. “Yeah, it is. I, uh, named my DnD club after the Hellfire Club.”

“Oh my god, you’re a vintage DnD nerd.” You said excitedly. “What class are you?”

He smirked confidently. “I’m the DM.”

“Holy shit.” You smiled. “That’s hot.”

Eddie was absolutely glowing at this compliment. “Glad you think so, sweetheart.”

“It’s like they’re speaking another language.” Steve chuckled to himself.

“See, Harrington, I told you, you need to start coming to Hellfire.” Dustin said, grinning.

“Should have known my other soulmate would be a nerd, too.”

Eddie smirked and gave Steve a little nudge. “You love it.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile a bit. “Yeah, I do.”

“Harrington here was cool in high school.” Eddie informed you. “King Steve. Got invited to parties and shit.”

You smiled and looked at him, taking in this new information. “That checks out.”

“He’s also a badass. He fights monsters on occasion. Saved my life a bunch.”

“Well damn.” You tilted your head, looking at him. “I can see it.”

“Eddie, babe, you’re gonna blow up my ego.” Steve laughed. He chuckled to himself about the whole thing. “How are you doing, by the way? You know, with all of this.” Steve motioned to the room around you.

You smiled softly. “I’m okay. You guys are making it a lot easier, that’s for sure.”

“Good. Good. I’m glad.” He nodded, a bit relieved.

Robin came down the stairs a few minutes later with a basket of clothes. “Mrs. Byers gave us some of her clothes, too. She said (Y/N) can stay with her if she wants to.”

“Aww, that’s nice of her.” Dustin said, smiling.

“We can take her back to our place, too.” Steve offered, looking at Eddie, who nodded. And then he looked to you. “You know, if you want to of course. We don’t want to rush you or anything.”

“It’s totally up to you.” Eddie tacked on. “No pressure.”

Their chemistry was adorable, you decided. You wondered how long they’d known each other before the universe decided to tell them they were actually meant to spend the rest of their lives together. Maybe you’d get to ask them soon.

“I’d love to stay with you two.” You told them.

“Cool. Awesome. Um, do you think you can walk?” Steve asked, looking you over. You seemed to be doing a lot better than when they first saw you, but given the circumstances, he couldn’t be sure.

“I might need a little help,” you admitted. Despite your best efforts, you were still trembling and your legs felt like Jell-O. Luckily, you had not one, but two soulmates more than ready to assist you.

“No worries.” Steve said, kneeling in front of you. He waited for your approval, and when you nodded, he slipped an arm under your knees, the other wrapping around your back for support. “I’ve got you.”

He lifted you with ease, carrying you up the stairs with Eddie following the two of you closely, your can of Cherry Coke in his hand and his car keys in the other.

“You’re strong.” You said, your arm loosely hanging around Steve’s shoulders for more support.

He blushed. “Well who do you think carried you in here, princess?”

“I think I now have the answer to that question.” You chuckled, very aware of just how close his face was to yours. God, it was true what they said about soulmates. The attraction was…immediate.

Eddie unlocked the car, opened your door, and climbed into the driver’s seat while Steve gently set you in the passenger seat, buckling you in. Steve then climbed into the back seat.

Unlike usual, Eddie didn’t peel out of the driveway at a neck-breaking speed. Instead, he backed out slowly and drove like you were made of glass and he was afraid at every turn that you would shatter. Or puke in his van, one of the two.

“Uh, what kind of music do you like?” Eddie asked, changing the radio to something a little more mainstream than his usual tastes.

“All sorts of stuff. In terms of stuff you would know, um…ABBA and Elton John and Queen…”

“Solid choices.” Steve said. “Is their music still popular then?”

“Elton John just had a musical made about his life, Queen got a Biopic called Bohemian Rhapsody, and ABBA’s music spurned not one, but two jukebox musical movies. So yeah, still pretty popular.”

“And the rock and metal and stuff?” Eddie asked.

“It still has a cult following. Tons of super dedicated fans, but it’s not super mainstream.”

Eddie grinned. “Okay, cool.”

The ride to Eddie and Steve’s new townhouse wasn’t super long. It wasn’t a huge place, but it was the perfect size for two—now three—people. Once Eddie parked, you opened the passenger door and swiveled so your legs were facing the opening. Steve got out quickly and stood right there, ready to catch you.

“I want to try to walk.” You said, sliding out of the seat and letting your feet touch the pavement. Steve’s arm hovered loosely around your waist, ready to catch you if this wasn’t such a good idea yet.

Somehow, though, you got up the steps and through the front door without too much trouble. Eddie went ahead and turned all the lights on, as the sun was nearing setting. You took in the surroundings. There wasn’t a ton of furniture, but that was the norm for college-age guys anyway. There were a couple posters on the walls, and you noticed a picture of Steve and Eddie together, Eddie wearing a graduation gown and grinning like he’d just won the lottery. Cute.

“Make yourself at home, sweetheart.” Eddie told you, his gaze soft and comforting.

And even though you hadn’t been there long at all, it was already beginning to feel like that word was accurate. Home.

“We, uh, have a VCR if you want to watch any movies.” Steve told you, motioning to the machine under the TV.

“You guys have Back to the Future?” You chuckled. “I feel like that one would be fitting, all things considered. Plus, it’s one of my favorite movies.”

“You’re into the oldies, huh?” Eddie teased, the concept of his present being your kind of distant past still weirding him out.

You thought about making some comment about them being the oldies, but decided against it. Probably too soon for that kind of thing. “Yeah, good thing, too.”

“Well, we do have a copy of it. I work at Family Video and—” Steve said, watching the face you made when he said it. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just…That is a very vintage sentence.”

His eyes widened with something akin to panic. “What happens to Family Video?”

“They close. All of them. It’s tragic, really. Most media is just digital in the future. Physical media is almost dead.”

“Damn.” Steve shook his head, thinking about it very deeply. “Well, I’ve got about 36 years to get that figured out, huh.”

“We’ll find you a new job by then, babe.” Eddie patted Steve’s shoulder, comfortingly. “That, or my band will be big enough by then that I can just spoil both of you rotten.”

You settled into the couch, and the boys followed after pretty soon after, once Steve put Back to the Future in.

***

The movie ended and you were tired despite taking quite the nap before. Something about time travel just wiped you out. Steve and Eddie could both tell you’d probably be going to sleep pretty soon.

“Hey, so uh, we don’t have a guest room. Um…I’ll totally sleep on the floor out here and Eddie can take the couch and you can have our bed.” Steve explained, sounding a bit nervous.

“I’m not gonna let you sleep on the floor and the couch.” You shook your head. “If you want, um…I’d be okay with…sharing the bed with you guys. I mean, if it’s big enough. And if you want me to. If not, I can totally take the couch—”

“You are not sleeping on the couch after everything you’ve been through today, princess.” Eddie put his foot down. “I’m fine with you sleeping with us. I’m sure Steve is too. Not…not like that of course, just—”

“I get it.” You chuckled.

“Cool. Great. I’ll go get everything ready up there, alright?” Steve said, jabbing a thumb back towards the stairs.  

You nodded. Eddie handed you the basket of clothes the girls had rounded up for you so you could find some pajamas in it. It looked like Joyce had gone out to get you some other basics, too. Underwear and socks and a toothbrush and stuff.

You found something suitable pretty quickly. “Um, Eddie, where’s your bathroom?”

“Right this way, milady.” Eddie helped you off of the couch and led you to the bathroom upstairs, where all of their toiletries were. Yep. This was definitely a boys’ bathroom. “Sorry it’s a mess in there. We weren’t expecting a beautiful guest such as yourself. We’ll clean it up, though.”

“It’s fine Eddie, thank you.”

“Yeah, no prob. Um…I’ll wait out here and listen in case you fall, okay?”

You grinned. “I’m not made of glass, you know.”

“Well, yeah, but I can’t have you hitting your pretty little head, now can I? Harrington would kill me.”

“Why would I kill you, Munson?” Steve asked, leaning against the doorway.

“If I left her alone and she hit her head in the bathroom.”

“Oh yeah. Yeah definitely.” Steve agreed, his arms crossed and a playful smile on his face. “We’ll be right here. No rush, though. Take your time.”

You did just that, taking a good long moment to change into pajamas, brush your teeth, and rinse your face with some cold water. But even when you did that and looked in the mirror, you were still in the ‘80s. Huh. Weird.

You shrugged and walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, where Steve and Eddie were on the bed in their pajamas, talking kind of quickly about, you presumed, the crazy new shake-up in their lives. Eddie noticed you and stared, silencing Steve immediately.

“Oh, babe, hey, what side of the bed do you want?” Steve asked and then hesitated. “Wait, should I not call you babe yet? Is it too soon?”

“You can call me whatever you want.” You assured him, laughing. “And, uh…can I sleep in the middle?”

Eddie and Steve both said “Yes.” At the same time.

“Cool.” You chuckled and crawled up the center of the bed, getting under the covers while the other two got in beside you. It was a little awkward, none of you knowing exactly what to say or do, and none of you wanting to be the first to do so.

Steve turned out the light and the three of you laid there on your backs, completely straight in their dark bedroom.

“You guys can touch me, you know.”

“Oh okay cool.” Eddie replied, turning a bit to face you. He took your hand gently in his own and reached up to your face with his other one, pushing the hairs out of your eyes. “I think I speak for both of us when I say I am so stoked you’re here. And I know it can be hard being in a new environment like this, but if you need anything, you’ve got both of us, alright?”

“Thank you.” You whispered, nodding, your voice caught in your throat a bit due to his proximity, his warmth, and that sparkle in his eyes when he looked at you like you were made of pure magic.

“What he said.” Steve scooted a bit closer, an arm carefully settling around your waist. “We’re not going anywhere. We’ll be right here in the morning and…we’re all gonna get this stuff figured out. I promise.”

You nodded against him, your free hand resting on his. “Can I…kiss you guys goodnight?”

Instead of replying, Eddie leaned forward slowly, capturing your lips in a soft, passionate kiss. And then he kissed your nose for good measure. “Goodnight, princess.” Eddie smirked before passing you off to Steve. Steve’s kiss was a little firmer, a little more confident, but still very sweet.

“Get some rest, babe.” Steve told you, pressing one last kiss to your forehead before the three of you called it a night.

Part 2

[dyk3medown]

study buddy

eddie munson x reader

summary: a study session with eddie quickly takes a turn after you decide to reward him for getting the right answers

warnings: fem reader, smut, friends to lovers, unprotected sex, kinda fluffy especially at the end, mentions of Wuthering Heights (yes that deserves its own warning)

a/n: apparently i am unable to write an eddie fic where his hair pulling kink isn’t mentioned at least once. this is gross and fluffy at the end but i couldn't figure out another way to finish it so. also i haven’t read wuthering heights in a few years so please excuse me if my analysis is a bit off lmao.

smut under the cut <3

Contrary to popular belief at Hawkins High, Eddie Munson is not dumb. Sure, he’s in his third year as a senior, but this year he’ll graduate; he just knows it. You think so too and are determined to get him to pass his English class, the one he’s failed multiple years in a row. He’s actually really smart, he just needs a little help channeling his intelligence into academics rather than crafting an elaborate DnD campaign.

You’re sitting in Eddie’s room, trying to help him study, but his mind keeps wandering, and you’re having trouble getting anything substantial done.

“Look,” you sigh, “we’re getting nowhere with this.”

You bite your lip, pondering an idea for a second. “What if I… give you an incentive?”

You don’t mean it to be, but your tone is slightly suggestive. Eddie’s eyes widen, and you watch his adam’s apple bob in his throat as he visibly gulps. “What, uh, what kind of incentive?”

“You can pick, I want it to be effective.”

“Why don’t you take off some of your clothes every time I get an answer right,” Eddie jokes, grinning at you.

“Okay.” Your face remains serious as you feign nonchalance, despite the nerves wracking your body. There’s always been some tension between you and Eddie, and you frequently jokingly flirt with each other, but this is taking it to a whole new level.

“Wait, what?” Eddie’s smile has turned decidedly more nervous.

“I said okay.” You repeat. “I told you to choose an incentive and you did.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Unless you want to pick something else?”

“No!” Eddie exclaims loudly out before bringing his voice to a normal volume. “No, that’s fine, we can do the uh, clothes thing.”

You let a small smile through your stone-faced facade. He’s so cute when he’s being a dork.

“First question,” You clear your throat and look up from the paper. “What is one thing symbolized by the ghosts in Wuthering Heights?”

Eddie thinks for a moment before responding. “An absence of, uh, closure? And the lingering presence of the past?”

“Yes, Eddie, that’s really good!” You beam at him.

You reach down and tug off your socks, shooting him a stern look when he makes a sound of protest. “Socks count! Get another question right and you’ll get something better.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Eddie replies cheekily, giving you a mock salute.

You ask him another question, and he gets that one right as well. You shed your jacket, now just in a shirt and shorts. If he keeps this up, you’re going to be very naked very soon.

“Next question.” Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, and Eddie’s gaze flickers to your mouth before snapping back. “What point does Brontë demonstrate about revenge through Heathcliff’s character?”

Eddie’s brow furrows as he tries to think. After a minute, he throws his hands up in defeat. “I don’t know.”

“C’mon Eddie, you got this.” You give him an encouraging smile. “Think about the end of the story, how Heathcliff died and how he felt.”

“The point is, um, revenge won’t give us what we want?” You motion for him to continue. “Heathcliff gets his revenge and is still miserable before he dies. So, uh, focusing on the events of the past only prevents us from achieving happiness in the present?”

Eddie looks unsure, but you nod, clapping your hands together excitedly. “Exactly! You’re doing so well, Eddie, you’re going to destroy this test.”

You both look at each other silently for a second before you realize. “Oh, right.” You pull your shirt up over your head, and you can hear Eddie’s breath hitch as your bra is revealed.

You put it on the ground next to you, feigning nonchalance, but your heart is racing. Goosebumps rise on your skin, but you’re not sure if it’s from the slight chill in the air or the weight of Eddie’s stare on your chest.

“Hey!” You snap your fingers in front of his face, and his eyes shoot up to yours, not even having the decency to look embarrassed. “Let’s keep going, okay?”

You continue to quiz him, and to your pleasant surprise, he gets most of the questions right. After some stalling - taking off my necklace counts, Eddie! - you end up in just your bra and underwear, sending a silent thank you to the universe that you had picked out something cute that morning.

Eddie is clearly affected by your state of undress. His hands grip white-knuckled onto his thighs as if he’s physically restraining himself from touching, you or himself you’re not sure. You’d been politely ignoring the way his pants had tented, but now you’re finding it hard not to look.

With all the blood in his body directed far from his brain, it’s really a miracle he managed to answer so many questions correctly.

You force yourself to look back at your list of questions. “Last question,” you inform Eddie, your voice wavering just slightly.

He gets it right.

Locking eyes with Eddie, you reach behind your back to unclasp your bra, letting the straps fall down your arms until it falls to the floor. His eyes darken as more of your skin is revealed, breaking eye contact to gaze hungrily at your chest. You fight the urge to cover yourself. Part of you is incredibly embarrassed, but another part preens under his attention, loving how his breathing has turned ragged from watching you undress.

“Why don’t you ask me one more question?” Eddie asks you, leaning forward slightly. “But this time I want a new incentive.”

Gone are all the traces of Eddie’s familiar goofy behavior, now replaced by a simmering intensity that threatens to overwhelm you.

“What do you want?” You’re replying to his question, but in reality, you’re asking much more than that.

“If I get it right,” Eddie’s fingers twitch on his thighs, “I get to touch.”

You inhale sharply, pulling your knees up to your chest as you consider. The tension in the room has reached a fever pitch, and if you keep going, if you take that leap, you know there’s no way you’ll be able to stop.

“That okay, princess?” Eddie has moved closer in your moment of contemplation, now close enough to place his hands on your knees and push them down, exposing your chest once again.

“Yeah, that’s okay.” You clear your throat and try to formulate a new question.

“When was Wuthering Heights first published?”

It’s an easy question, one that Eddie should immediately know the answer to, considering it’s been written on the board in his English class for four weeks straight.

Eddie’s lips curl into a smirk as he answers, “1847.”

Before you can even tell him he answered correctly, Eddie’s hands are on you, surging forward to finally do what he has been craving for so long. One hand runs up your thigh while the other goes to your chest, squeezing gently. He runs his thumb over your nipple and you shudder, so on edge that even the slightest touch sends shockwaves through your body. He shifts forward to nip at where your neck meets your shoulder, the scrape of his teeth followed by a swipe of his tongue to soothe the sting.

Eddie continues his path upwards, resting his hand at the base of your throat for a moment before moving it to cup your cheek. His other hand has crept far enough up that he’s only centimeters from the apex of your thighs, dangerously close to where you’re desperate for his touch. His thumb rests gently on your bottom lip as his gaze flickers between your mouth and your eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” Eddie asks softly, and you can only nod, not trusting your voice to work.

Eddie leans in slowly, lips barely brushing against yours before pressing more firmly in a kiss that quickly turns heated. He’s quite talented with his tongue, and you can’t help but imagine where else he could put it to use.

His fingers graze the waistband of your underwear, dipping in slightly.

“What do you want?” Eddie pulls back, echoing your earlier question.

“Just touch me.” You pull him back into a searing kiss, gasping into his mouth as his hand moves down and his fingertips brush your clit.

Eddie dips lower, a low groan escaping him as he feels how wet you are. He brings his fingers back up to your clit and starts to make slow circles, moving easily with how you coated them with your slick.

Your head falls to his shoulder, panting against his neck as he gradually speeds up. You link your arms over his shoulders as you turn your attention to the pale skin of his throat, kissing and sucking until dark marks bloom under your attention. Eddie’s hand starts to falter, and you quickly grow impatient, pushing him back and reaching for his belt.

Eddie takes off his shirt as you fumble with the buckle, replacing your hands with his own and taking it off with ease.

He rids himself of the rest of his clothes as you do the same, greedily taking in every inch of skin that is revealed. You clench around nothing at the sight of his cock when it springs free, long and thick and surprisingly pretty, a word you never thought you would use as a descriptor for something like that, but nothing about Eddie follows the norm.

Eddie pulls you into his lap, and you tangle your fingers into his hair as you bring him in for another kiss. His lips seem to fit perfectly against yours and, god, why hadn’t you done this before? You tug gently at his hair, and he moans into your mouth, prompting you to do it again. He moans even louder as you pull harder, head snapping back and hips jerking up.

“Fuck, baby.” Eddie pants as the head of his cock brushes against your entrance. “Need to be inside you.”

“Yes please, Eddie, want you to fuck me,” you gasp as you shift and the tip nudges against your clit.

He lines himself up, and you sink down slowly, both of you moaning as he fills you up. You pause for a moment when he bottoms out, clenching around him as you adjust to the rather large intrusion. You’re incredibly grateful that his uncle is gone for the night because you don’t think you could hold back the noises you’re making.

Bracing yourself on his shoulders, you lift yourself up halfway before dropping back down, repeating this action until you’ve built up a quick rhythm.

“Fuck, princess.” Eddie grabs onto your hips as you bounce on his cock, gently guiding your movements. “You feel so good around me, so fucking tight.”

He plants his feet on the ground and starts to fuck up into you, thrusting up every time you drop down.

“Eddie!” You cry out as he gets even deeper, angling his hips slightly to hit the spot inside you that makes your eyes roll back.

You reach one hand down to rub your clit, clenching around him at the extra sensation.

“Shit,” Eddie curses, “keep doing that, baby, you look so good playing with that pretty pussy for me.”

You let out a whine at his words, moving your fingers faster. You’re not sure where his sudden affinity for dirty talk came from, but you’re certainly not complaining as he continues to praise you, calling you his good girl in a tone that makes you shiver.

Eddie pulls you in for a surprisingly tender kiss, a clear contrast to his harsh thrusts.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” He says as you break apart, resting his forehead against yours. “Wanted you, wanted to make you mine.”

“I’m yours.” You can’t help the smile that grows on your face. “It’s always been you, Eddie.”

“Yeah? You ever think about this, baby?” Eddie asks, his sincere tone turning to something much darker. “God I used to jerk off all the time thinking about you, imagining how you’d feel around my cock.”

You whine as he gives a few particularly harsh thrusts, hanging on to his shoulders for dear life. You find yourself rapidly approaching the edge, throwing your head back as you bounce even faster.

Eddie matches your pace, his grip on your hips tightening to the point that you’re sure he’ll leave marks.

“Not gonna last much longer, princess,” Eddie warns, voice audibly strained. “Where do you want me to-”

“Inside,” you cut him off. “I’m on the pill, I want you to cum inside me.”

“Jesus fucking-” Eddie’s voice breaks. “Yeah, I can do that, baby, you want me to fill you up? Want me to fuck you full of my cum?”

“Eddie!” His words are enough to tip you over the edge, chanting his name as you cum.

“Fuck!” Eddie follows you with a punched-out groan, the feeling of your walls spasming around his cock too much to handle.

You collapse against him after you ride out your orgasm, his cock still twitching inside of you. You rest your cheek on his collarbone, and he bends his head down to place a kiss on your forehead, then the tip of your nose, then your lips.

Eddie eventually slips out of you, half carrying you to the bathroom as your legs prove to be more than a bit shaky. He helps you clean up, kissing you every so often with an infectious grin on his face.

He gives you one of his shirts to wear and drags you into bed with him, wrapping himself around you like an oversized koala. Who knew Eddie Munson would be such a cuddler?

As you drift off in his arms, you can’t believe how lucky you’ve gotten, that you get to have him like this.

All in all, it was definitely a successful study session.

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[damnation-if]

Honestly gotta say, the lore setup of the world alone has filled me with Such intense emotions bc CHEF'S KISS nothing beats world building for me, i want to learn All the Things, no matter how wild or mundane

as such, Twilit has caught my attention for their own interest in knowledge, atop being overall very intriguing to me ( shoutout & air kisses to my darling Heluur too ); the deep irony is that i have severe mottephobia, to the point where even just thinking abt moths ( or anything moth-related ) for beyond a few seconds results in prolonged nausea on my part, which kinda really sucks fhrjjdjf

nonetheless i am determined to at least TRY to woo them, as Largely Beyond Human Comprehension & Old AF are def favored traits of mine to find in characters

thank you for all your hard work you've done thus far! i hope you're getting proper rest too! I'm very excited to continue playing this delightful story 🥳💖

thank you so much for your kind words! i have really enjoyed all the worldbuilding... i'm so glad that other people are also enjoying it! <3

but oh dear... i'm so sorry! obviously don't. feel obliged to push yourself if it's really making you feel ill lmao i'm very sorry that my story has ended up adjacent to your phobia 😔 i Have mentioned it before a long time ago but Twilit isn't really all that Moth-y (in fact they're even less Moth-y than the moth!mc), though i don't really know if that will be any consolation. but hopefully not having buggy eyes or antennae is Something at least.

ironically i ended up going with this fairly lowkey set of moth wings because i thought their original concept would be too scary skbsdfg. in the end i figured i'd keep the original concept as a "true form" of sorts; all of the older and more powerful demons have to do things in order to make themselves Small, in order to Fit inside hell, so much of Twilit's being is. Elsewhere lmfao

i do have a faceclaim for their humanoid avatar that mc mostly gets to interact with haha, which i don't for most of the other ROs. so maybe that helps?

i'm going to spoiler the True Form description for people who don't want to look at it and also possibly just because it's. spoilers, i guess? however i don't think this is ever going to be a Reveal, it's just not obvious at first glance looking at them.

it's not super advisable to look directly at Twilit's true form unless you want a bunch of psychic damage, but obviously other archdemons are capable of Beholding them fine. they're Huge, with differing layers of loosely-connected corporeal form overlapping; the. central body? is squid-like in shape, though the skin is scaled and tough rather than an actual squid's blubber or whatever, with a mass of long tentacles that extend from the uh... torso? the head/face region has that... let's say "conical" squid-shape but augmented with bony plates and cilia that evoke the biblical descriptions of angels, with a halo like a burning wheel and so forth. circling the body is a shroud of moth-like wings that can fold up in on themselves or unfurl based on their whim - when unfurled, they vibrate with a loud humming, buzzing noise. black in colour; they have no visible eyes, ears or mouth, but no matter which direction you look at them from, they always seem to be watching you.

squid... How Do They Work

it's not particularly new ground as far as eldritch beings go but i enjoy a good tentacle... Conceptually i mean. they were actually not a demon in this original iteration though haha... they were an elder god. so. things change!

[prismartist]

cw for ren being very sick in the background

---

Scott stared at the huge box structure, feeling unsure. Not really about any particular thing, but just in general. Aside from the question whether he should disturb its inhabitants, as they hadn't emerged in hours, he also felt unsure about how to communicate with them at all. There were no doors, no windows, no visible way in, and no place to knock, unless Scott wanted to severely injure his knuckles.

After a moment of contemplation, Scott settled on hoping that his own voice carried beyond the thick cobblestone. "Ren? BigB?" he called out. "Are you there?"

The silence from the base proceeded for a while, before a block broke, and BigB tentatively poked his head through. He had a look of lingering exhaustion, and his smile wavered. "Oh hi Scott!"

"BigB?" The two flinches as Ren's croaky, more-pathetic-than-usual voice called from inside. "Who's there?"

"It's just Scott!" BigB replied.

"Agh, that hobbit. Make sure he does not invade our walls!"

"Yes, Ren, I'll make sure he doesn't invade our walls." BigB turned back, apologetic. "Sorry, he's a bit loopy."

"I don't... mind?"

"So what's up?"

"Well, just wanted to check on you guys. You've been in there for a while, and as good neighbors, me and Cleo thought it would be a good idea to bring some food." Scott produced a leather bag and held it up with an inquiring smile. "Care for some bread and baked potatoes?"

"Oh my god, thank you," gasped BigB, reaching and taking the goods. "This will definitely help, once Ren's, uh... settled."

It was at this point that Scott became acutely aware of some terrible groans coming from inside the base, as well as the smell of what he could only describe as something gone wrong.

"Oh my god, what is happening in there?!" Scott clapped a hand over his nose and mouth, and BigB winced.

"Uhmmmm... well, Ren and I had a little... experiment, you could say, earlier." BigB scratched the back of his neck sheepishly (or goat-ishly, what with his new ears and horns). "It was nice honestly, we both learned a lot, but I think one of us hasn't adapted to the goat lifestyle well."

Scott could almost feel the loading screen pop into his head. "Goat lifestyle?"

"Oh you know, just... goat. Things."

Scott lowered his hand. "BigB. Did you and Ren eat grass."

"Uhm."

"Don't lie to me, BigB."

"Okay yes we did," BigB quickly admitted, cringing. "But we were craving!"

"How much did you have??"

"A lot, dude. A lot. I'm not proud either. But in our defense––" BigB raised both his hands, "––it tasted good."

Scott moved his hand back onto his face in a full facepalm. "I hate adaption," he muttered. "Whatever god thought it would be a good idea for people to mutate in new worlds, I'm going to kill them."

"Yeah, and I don't know why Ren reacted so badly, we've both gained goat features and stuff but he's not taking the grass well."

"Might just be a him thing, to be fair."

"Like the dog thing?"

"Not necessarily, most dogs don't get sick from grass, but some do. That might be overpowering the goat parts."

BigB's eyes widened. "Ohhh, is that it? That makes sense, you're smart."

"Thank you, I am."

"BigB, my tummy's rumbling again, man," Ren once again piped up.

Scott took a step back, to maybe ease some space between him and the aura emanating from the Box of Regret. "Anyways, I think I better go before it gets too dark. And besides, I do not want anything to do with that, no offense."

"Oh of course, I get that, I get that."

"Well––" Scott gave a wave, "––best of luck, I feel like you'll need it. Tell Ren I hope he gets better."

"Yeah, I will." BigB gave another strained smile and waved back. "See you dude, thanks for stopping by."

"See you, BigB."

And BigB hurriedly replaced the block.

---

(sequel to this fun lil snippet because a lotta people were talking about dogs eating grass in the notes... so i made an epilogue based on that lmao)

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[honorguk]

dating➔ jeong jaehyun

» navigation | REQUESTED

what it’s like to date jaehyun from NCT (based on my assumptions)

────✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ────

─ • OVERALL:

it was most likely johnny that introduced you two to each other

honestly, probably started off as FWBs and he couldn’t help but fall for you

the type to tag you in the bottom right corner of his instagram pics

buys you vinyls + listen to Cigarettes After Sex together as you dance in the living room

he spoils you with shopping trips like every weekend

him singing in the shower whenever he’s at your place

you bringing the boys takeout and watching them rehearse

and they all attack you with hugs as a ‘thank you’

you two decide to keep the relationship secret for a while because “it’s more exciting”

after you got together, both of you suddenly got too shy to do anything

like you lot barely held hands

thank god you were invited to a double date by one of your friends, and you and jaehyun got much closer when you started teasing the other couple about their cringy PDA

and then you both got to the car and didn’t even realise you were holding hands the entire time

whenever he drives, his hand is surely on your thigh

jamming VERY LOUDLY to songs literally anywhere (and sharing air pods uwu)

he’s a bit cold at first because he isn’t used to fully expressing his romantic emotions, but you should expect a few song lyrics dedicated to you

and also he’ll bring you cut up fruit to show his appreciation and love :3

honestly you guys have the type of love that grows the more you guys are together

and he makes it obvious as well by being the best boyfriend he can be <3

─ • DATES YOU GO ON:

aants to make everything seem like a kdrama

‘long walks by the river side’ is like your go-to date idea - the man could write a fantastic tinder bio

window shopping in the evening, and he always mentally takes note of the items that you really want so he can spoil you with them later on

sharing airpods while walking too (...and obviously having cigarettes after sex playing, making him feel very very very in love)

getting froyo while walking hand in hand so that neither of you can actually eat it

just a lot of walks, really

he takes hella pictures of you as well - really eager to show you off on his instagram <3

─ • PET NAMES:

‘darling’ ‘babe’ kinda guy

also swings his arm around your shoulder when he says it (the fuckboy agenda even more accentuated if he’s wearing a reverse snapback)

“awh come on, princess” is the way he (begs) asks for things

often call each other by name, and you’re not sure if to call him jaehyun or yoonho

he doesn’t care on the names as long as you still have him saved on your phone as ‘babe’

─ • WHILE ON TOUR:

he can’t keep his hands off his phone

he HAS to send you updates - if you ask for something, you receive it, always

cyber sex 105%

and one of the members always knocking on his hotel room door when you two are doing it

“yuta, kindly fuck off!”

besides that, johnny or yuta or haechan will always invade your video calls and steal the phone

(jaehyun gets a lil jelly when you spend more time talking to taeyong than him)

he’ll snatch the phone away and sarcastically smile at tae and then go to another room, usually the bathroom lmao

you guys can talk for hoursssssss but jaehyun can easily disappear for a week and it’s calm

because after all, he’s extremely busy and wants to do his best as an artist

video calls and update texts when he’s getting his hair and makeup done, constantly showing off his stage outfits to you :3

─ • ARGUING/MAKING UP:

not the type to get angry, really

jaehyun prefers to sit down with some coffee and calmly talk it out with you whilst stroking the back of your hand

he’ll only get riled up because you think he looks hot when he’s angry, and he knows that

and that means it leads to fucking, which always solves the issue

or he will get genuinely angry because you’ve genuinely gotten on his last nerve after a really long day, but that’s rare since he tries his best to keep his emotions under control

although his appearance is really cold, his heart breaks if he sees your eyes turn glossy, let alone see you cry

he’d instantly sigh - at himself, at the situation - and come over to hug you, and you’d burst to tears 

and that’s the third way you guys solve things

if you made him upset, you’d buy a few snacks and a bottle of wine before coming round to the dorms to see him with it

(and of course he’d forgive you)

going to bed angry happens on rare occasions too, but only if the reason was enough

but it’s always cuddles and hugs and apologised and a few tears when you’re making up, which is always welcome :)

─ • NSFW:

a dom, straight through his bones my guy

morning sex, midnight sex, kitchen sex, living room couch sex, jungwoo’s bed sex -- ya’ll have been around everywhere and with no shame

literally his sex drive is insane, and it’s very obvious

a true show off with his dancer hips, very likely to give you a semi-strip tease

risky as fuck too

not too into exhibitionism, but likes leaving barely-visible marks to show people you are his

expect helllaaaa hickeys and bites and bruises - you’re HIS

doesn’t degrade you unless you ask for it, and jaehyun does an amazing job hehe

pulling your hair and manhandling you is nearly always a must, plus a hand around your neck or fingers in your mouth

aftercare can be soft or not be there at all - depends on the mood

if it’s angry sex, he’ll probably shoot and scoot but he’ll always come back later for a cuddle

otherwise he’ll run the hot water and you shower together

sex in your household is DIRTY and MESSY as it should be.

buys you lingerie <3