#unless they do have a mouth and it's just not visible lmao

[forgettable-au]

So non-divided teeth are one of anatomical visible differences between Gaster and Papyrus, right? Also, does Gaster open his mouth as noticeably as Pap or he’s more like Sans who doesn’t open it visibly?

Yes! And no?

The difference is that Wingdings doesn't open his mouth to talk (like Sans)

And Papyrus does!

The fact that the teeth are non-divided is just my artstyle hehe

Sans and Wingdings could open their mouths but they don't because they don't need to!(They're skeletons. They don't have vocal cords. The sound just comes out because magic. I bet there's some skeletons that don't even have full jaws. This is just my headcanon for skeletons btw!)

Why does Papyrus open his mouth then? Well he saw that everyone else does it and was like

"OH, I SHOULD BE DOING THAT TOO, RIGHT?" And so he started doing it

He wants to look normal

He thinks Sans is very lazy for not doing it lol

[billdenbrough]

this one is kinda convoluted to explain LMAO basically @naturecalls111, @wyverningx and i were discussing one of mina's wips on twt (the summer beach episode, the finished version of which can be found here) and the convo turned to kevin dealing with aaron's thighs around his head. mina said something about still deciding which way kevin would be facing, which i think meant like. left or right. but i was still fixed on the legs around his head and was like. what. like i was thinking forward or back, got confused, so wrote her this to explain what i was visualising, and then she was like ok now post LMAO notsfw warning!! kevin's fantasies get reasonably in-depth and also vaguely unhinged. but it's shenanigans-y <3

Kevin’s top three fantasies this month—he’s pretty diligent about cycling them through, keeping them seasonally relevant, you know—are, as follows:

Kevin’s gold medal—origin unimportant to the fantasy, though it was the Olympics last time—is over both his and Aaron’s necks at the same time, forcing them to press in close, the way Kevin likes. He doesn’t know if this one is physically feasible—maybe he can get a custom ribbon—but he doesn’t care. It makes him feel hot all over, cheeks flushed and dick leaking, to think about the two of them pressed that close together, naked and sweaty and the exhilaration of victory flowing through them both. Kevin’s pride and satisfaction, and Aaron looking at him, that proud smile, rare but fierce, and it’s all for him. Eyes intent, dark, wanting Kevin, proud of Kevin, celebrating Kevin. Kevin’s not too proud to admit that sometimes he can come from that alone, even before he imagines his hand wrapped around both their dicks, or kissing his name out of Aaron’s mouth, or Aaron fucking into him while Kevin tries—and fails—not to chase his mouth for a kiss.

Aaron is sitting on the edge of the pier, ostensibly looking out over the ocean while the rest of their friends do whatever it is they’re doing. Kevin doesn’t bother to fill in those sorts of details in his fantasies, and the auto-complete in his brain is impeded by the fact that when he’s with Aaron, he doesn’t pay attention to them in the background unless they’re being especially loud, annoying or incorrect. So in Kevin’s head, they’re mostly an unfinished sketch background, doing something or other while Aaron looks over the ocean, looking at a distance like some character in one of Jean’s arthouse films. The reality of it is that Kevin is swimming beneath the pier, bobbing his head over Aaron’s dick. Kevin is often a merman in this, when the athlete part of his brain wakes up enough to be like, your muscles would give up before you made Aaron come, and you can’t have that, which is annoying but true. So sometimes Kevin is a merman, and then he has a tangential fantasy in those cases which involves whisking Aaron beneath the ocean and showing him how cool and handsome and good-at-things Kevin is in his natural element, and Aaron is like okay, sure, but can I look at your gills again? in an attempt to not seem so awestruck by Kevin, but his cheeks give him away every time, because Kevin always knows Aaron in his head, even when his fantasies lend themselves to something else. That’s a tangent, anyway. The important thing is sucking off Aaron at the beach while everyone else is there and can’t tell. Kevin came to that one in the shower earlier.

Aaron’s thighs are around Kevin’s head. The reason doesn’t really matter. These days, it’s usually some stupid competition at the beach, because it’s summer and everyone Kevin knows is a competitive asshole, or they’re Andrew, meaning just an asshole, or Jeremy, meaning just competitive. Aaron is sitting on Kevin’s shoulders, his quads visibly working as he clenches his thighs tight around Kevin’s head. Kevin at one point had to fact-check this, wondering if maybe he was just contouring Aaron’s thighs in a horny haze, but no. When they next went to the beach and Kevin watched Aaron’s legs as he took a running jump off the edge of the pier, there was definite action in the quadriceps. Unrelatedly, Kevin had to excuse himself by jumping into the ocean too. Matt had been baffled and Seth had given him a look somewhere between calculating and disgusted, but for the most part, Kevin thinks it was a successful swerve. Anyway. Kevin’s fantasy. Aaron’s thighs are around his head, clenching tight, and Kevin’s dick is hard as a rock. Sometimes Aaron notices, and says something. Sometimes Aaron notices, and his dick stirs against Kevin’s head. Sometimes Aaron doesn’t notice, or doesn’t say anything if he does, and Kevin gets edged by his own fucking head, painfully hard while Aaron says stuff like hurry up, I want to beat Neil or a little to the left, the light is to the left, do you have working eyes or stop fucking moving, I don’t want her to claw out my eyes because you’re complaining about your shoes, I can almost reach her. But that’s usually enough for Kevin, the idea of being so completely surrounded by Aaron’s body heat, the firm muscles in his thighs, the softness of the skin on the underside, pressed against Kevin’s shoulders.

So Kevin is really at a loss when that fantasy starts playing out in person, but develops in a direction he’d never anticipated. Specifically, Neil and Aaron grappling, and then Neil not letting go—because he is the worst person on the entire planet—when Nicky sneak-attacks Matt, Matt loses his footing a little and falls sideways, and Neil fucking swivels Aaron around Kevin’s neck on his way down into the ocean.

Aaron’s startled whoa! is going to live in Kevin’s head forever, probably. Part of him is also impressed at Aaron’s quick instincts, moving his feet enough that they don’t get caught on Kevin’s chest and unbalance them too.

Most of him is stuck in the current moment, though, face-to-face with Aaron’s crotch.

He can feel his dick against his face. He can smell it.

He—horrifyingly, desperately, unsurprisingly—wants to taste it.

[bambiraptorx]

Okay, since there was some interest in seeing this short story, here it is. The working title is Foot Quest but I might change that lmao

— — —

The Dragon cracked open an eye at the distant sound of footsteps echoing faintly down the halls of its cavern.  A group of several people, accompanied by hearty squabbling and crass insults.  Hm, it hadn’t had visitors in quite some time.  Perhaps these ones would be entertaining before being eaten.

It closed its eye and curled deeper into its golden hoard.  It would find out soon enough.

— — —

Another sound roused it shortly after, the sliding click of coins and jewels being displayed. Whether from a not-so-sly attempt to pocket a few of its gold pieces or to scale its prodigious hoard, the Dragon did not care.  It cracked open a different eye.  It was always better to observe one’s meal a bit before consumption, after all.

The figure below (rather far away, at nearly the bottom of its hoard) appeared to have sat down for a moment, possibly on one of the treasure chests that stayed down there.  The wooden boxes were always a bit too odd and lump-like to do anything other than inhibit quality rest.  From the Dragon’s best guess, it was likely a human.  No beard, ears too small to be one of its cave goblins, and none of that insufferable stench elves carried with them wherever they went. That made it edible.

The biped shifted a bit, then jumped off the chest completely, flourishing what appeared to be a tiny dagger.  It was too far away to truly tell.  In any case, they seemed to realize rather quickly how ineffective their speck of a blade would be, and lowered it shamefacedly.

“... …. ……. ..?” What was that?  The Dragon tilted its head at the human’s distant mouth sounds.  Given that such things were distinctly less worthy of its attention than sounds like footfalls or clicking gold pieces tended to be, it wasn’t used to attending to such tongues.  How did human speech go again?  It hadn’t tested its vocal cords in some time.  

“Ahem.  Speak louder, puny thing.”  It freed an arm from its bed, glittering jewels cascading down the hills of hoard.  Pity, it would have to pick those up later.  Preferably after a snack.

The human took a step back.  Then raised their hands to their face, cupping them around their mouth.  “I apologize for the intrusion!”

Not the typical first words of a prospective breakfast.  “Do those companions of yours offer the same?”

The biped made some small motion with a hand.  “I think the goblins got to them!”

Well, good.  That was what the Dragon kept them around for.  Cleaning out the tunnels.

“You realize you shan’t leave, morsel.”  The Dragon flicked a few eyes open and shut, blinking away the sleep-grime.  “Intruders are only welcome if they become… long-term guests.”

A rather clever way to put it, if it said so itself, but if the human agreed they were unfortunately too far away for it to tell.  Instead of answering, the two-legged thing displayed a tremendous amount of stupidity by beginning to climb up the steep slopes of the hoard, even daring to come closer to the side with the Dragon’s head clearly visible.  A deliciously foolish endeavor.

The human stopped once more over a small rise in the glittery piles, still rather far for the Dragon to reach unless it really stood up and stretched its neck out to catch them.  Perhaps not so unintelligent after all?  “There!  Can you hear me better now?” 

The Dragon stretched for a moment, the gold covering it slowly giving way to its limbs.  Ugh, this was a most encumbering way to have fallen asleep.  “You must be exceptionally stupid or desperate to approach me.”  Evidence pointed to the latter, but of course the former would be the tastier option.

Their face moved strangely, an awkward display of baring small, flat teeth.  “Oh, I just came to ask a question.  Care to share a small amount of your wealth with a humble orphan?” “Not a chance.”

“...perhaps a loan?” “Mm… no.  Loans are for goblins only, which you clearly are not.”  The Dragon shook its head, shiny objects spinning away with loud crashes as they tumbled downwards and smacked against things.  Its neck was that much more mobile with the gold around it lessened.

“And at any rate, little thing, you’ve interrupted my sleep.  And so—” it worked the other forelimb free, its tail almost there—“You are to be my dinner, as is the way of things.”  Unless they did something worth its attention, but it was rapidly growing bored.

“Wait wait wait, please, I beg you, don't—your arm,” the human babbled.  “Leg.  Limb?”

It spared a glance for its stump, the limb most likely visible from the human's current location.  “Yes, that.  Staring is not appreciated, insect.”  The last human to make it this far had said something annoyingly rude, and had needed to be eaten immediately as a result.  A pity, wizards never tasted too good.  All the thick wooly robes got caught in its teeth.

“No, I mean—” quite unexpectedly, the human sat down again, this time on a rise in the piles of gold, and did something to one of their lower limbs that appeared to involve undoing numerous straps, then held the limb out towards the Dragon. 

…It didn’t know the smaller races could do that.  It had never paid them much attention, to be sure, but weren't their limbs supposed to stay attached to their bodies?

“Here, my prosthesis.  I lost the leg as a girl, it was some sickness the local apothecary couldn’t cure.  Better limb than life, I think she said.  And a while after that, I got another one to help me walk, but I’m still—we’ve got that in common.” the human explained breathlessly.

The Dragon lowered its head (interesting, how this ant-like creature barely flinched at its approach) and turned a set of eyes towards the thing.  A facsimile of a leg, carved of wood with fabric and that cow-skin two-leggers were so fond of hanging off in thinnish bits and pieces.  It even had a shoe to match the other one the biped wore.

It huffed, a gentle stream of smoke escaping its jaws to envelop the small figure.  “Mildly interesting, I suppose.  But why should I care?”

“The people outside haven’t seen you in over a century. It would do them well to remember your presence here,” the human said.  Some small expression, too quick for the Dragon to read, crossed her face.  “And… I know what it’s like.  Losing a limb, figuring out how to live afterwards.  Besides, the gnomish craft cities aren’t too far from here, and you know they love a challenge.  You’ve got plenty of gold to spare, and they’d think it an honor to craft something for you.”

The Dragon reared its head back.  “I have no need of gnome workmanship, you little asp.  I am a great thing, powerful and fearsome!  There is nothing here that needs to be fixed!”  Its wings were yet buried, or it would have beat them dramatically for emphasis.  Perhaps the brat was back on the menu.

“Please, it’s—it’s not—it wouldn’t be for fixing!” The human yelled, her hands lifted to shield her face.  “It would be a tool!  To make things easier!”

It stared down its nose at her.  “And why should I bother with such a… tool?”

“You don’t have to,” came the answer.  “Lots of people don’t.  But I know the merchants from here to Ocean’s Crest, I know the metalsmiths and leather workers and tailors, and there’s dozens of ways that a leg can be built.  And look, I can tell you it won’t fix things all the way.  It might create other problems.  But I can tell you this much—it works for me.  And it might be able to work for you?”

The human held her hands outstretched above her head, a gesture something like a plea.  For mercy, perhaps, or more time, or some other petty human desire. If the Dragon was already awake, it might as well move around a bit.

The Dragon blinked three eyes at once, snorted and began to stand, gold slithering over its scales as it shook itself free of its hoard.  “You have piqued my interest, ant.  I shall embark with you on this journey of yours.  Now put back those coins you have in your pocket.”

[ckret2]

@horridrabbitcreature said: Ok now tell us how they breed. For educational purposes

Honestly and sincerely, I do not know how Bill's species breeds lmao.

It's a problem of aesthetics, to me. A shape in the style of Bill Cipher has a simple, clean, minimalist perimeter, with perhaps only a couple of arms and legs and (in their home dimension) an eyeball on one corner.

If you headcanon they have the traditional hole or pole anatomy like humans do, it mars their nice, simple perimeter. If you come up with some complicated way to hide the equipment—something like a cloaca—that still will probably be seen on their edge, which I don't like, and anyway I personally feel like "yeah they've got equipment (it's just perfectly hidden most of the time)" is a little goofy and the coward's way out.

You could incorporate it into their existing anatomy—make up an alien way to stuff a reproductive system into their eyeballs, for instance—but I already do SO MUCH with their eye (it's for seeing AND it's their mouth hole AND they probably hear through there) that trying to find a way to shove in a reproductive system feels like too much, so I'm not doing that.* And they don't have much visible anatomical features OUTSIDE of eyes to work with.

(* "What do you mean you're not putting their genitalia in their eyes, you just wrote a whole chapter about Bill being into weird eye stuff?" The eye stuff is Bill's fetish, not a reflection of normal shapes' sexual behavior, and all Bill's shape buddies think he's a freak for it. Glad we clarified this.)

You could invent an entirely new alien reproductive method that gets around the issue, but unless how they reproduce becomes relevant to the fic I'm writing (doubtful), that's a HUGE superfluous avenue of worldbuilding that wouldn't contribute anything but pointless complicated info.

So I don't know how they breed because right now it just doesn't matter to the story I'm telling.

Here's what I do know about their reproduction:

It requires one line and one polygon (triangle, quadrangle, pentagon, etc). (This is not without purpose; I'm all for alien reproductive methods that don't involve pairing up, but in this case for "Bill keeps accidentally paralleling the human characters' experiences" reasons it was necessary to give him a crummy mom-and-dad like Pacifica, Gideon, and Stan+Ford.) Each kind of shape (lines included) is genetically a separate sex and socially considered a separate gender.

"each shape is a separate sex" actually only goes up so far. Shapes with a ridiculously high number of sides aren't naturally occurring and are the result of selectively breeding for extra sides, and often requires mutations or inbreeding. Creating a circle is like spending several centuries selectively breeding humans for polydactyly until you have a baby with thirty fingers. By Bill's time the practice of selectively breeding for sides was scientifically discredited and effectively dead.

Similarly, "each generation your angles/sides should increase" was proven to be rubbish. It's all sex chromosomes.

I've been toying with the idea of making lines a small proportion of the population rather than 50%, to reduce how much it feels like the species is a binary "50% female (lines) and 50% male of various flavors (polygons)"; but if there's so few lines then to maintain the population there might be some kind of "a line can have multiple spouses" rule; maybe a line can legally take one spouse of each shape but NOT, say, two triangles or something; but then that's verging on "to what end am I making this so complicated? What's the point? Does it have any impact on Bill's life?" so I might just chuck that idea. (A lot of my worldbuilding is driven by "Bill's species is extinct in the wild, so justify why exploring this matters?")

Similarly, I've considered maybe making the way the species experiences romantic feelings vary between sexes—like, maybe usually only lines fall in love for some reason, or maybe if there's a town that's 10% line 10% square 10% miscellaneous and 70% triangle then newborn triangles are naturally inclined toward being ace/aro to rebalance the population numbers. Sorta inspired by like how frogs spontaneously change sexes if the pond's population is too unbalanced. The reason I'm considering this is because having Bill experience romantic feelings & falling in love at the same rate as allo humans (like, what, every few years? Constantly maybe?) is just ridiculous for a character who's a trillion years old; but if I'm gonna say "oh he only falls in love once a million years or whatever" I want a good reason that isn't just he hasn't met someone ~special~ enough; and I DON'T want the reason to be "he's ace and/or aro and could reasonably identify that way" because having Bill frigging Cipher grapple with that queer experience just does NOT excite me. Basically—as an ace/aro myself, I don't want it to be possible for ace/aro-ness to be one of the reasons Bill feels fundamentally Weird. Turns me off. So I'm toying with, maybe I could build his species in such a way that, for him, being aro-ish or ace-ish would be seen as normative & expected, rather than queer; so I could still have him only wanna date once every million years WITHOUT feeling like that's a part of his identity he needed to explore at some point. But idk futzing around with how his species experiences romance might be unnecessarily complicated when I could just, like, not point out that only dating once every million years is unusual, and most readers would just roll with it without question.

So, these are the thoughts I've had about how reproduction works in Bill's species.

Still have no idea how they fuck.

[merv606]

Anon for the "Terry knocks Daniel up through sheer force of will lmao" and YES I 100% am here for:

//In which case, Will you accept through manipulation and birth control tampering instead of sheer force of will?!//

Yes please! And I was thinking: maybe it does take place in Omegaverse, and though Daniel really is a Beta, Terry STILL manages to knock him up. LMAO. 99.9% of people always thought Danny was an Omega anyways, so it's no biggie. Haha!

So this was mostly all written so couldn’t switch it to beta but hope this still works.

Face in the toilet, Johnny behind him. “Oh man, what did you eat?”

“Hardly anything,” Daniel groans out, his stomach rolling as more bile rises up.

Staying completely still, he breathes through his nose, eyes closing.

His hand presses on the handle, the toilet flushing. Clear water rises up in the bowl, but he keeps his head on the side of the seat. The smell of the water calms him for some reason.

“Must have a bug, or something,” he mutters more to himself, but Johnny, although he nods along, doesn’t look convinced.

Daniel sits back against the bathtub, focusing on the cool feel of it though his shirt.

“You okay now?”

“Yeah, fine,” Daniel smiles weakly, his first thought always to reassure whoever is worried, no matter who it is, but when he finally stands up, wanting to get to the sink to rinse his mouth out, he staggers slightly.

“No, seriously. Are you okay?” Johnny grabs his arm to steady him, and there is concern there now. “If something happens to you Sam will kill me, and I don’t think she’d do it quickly either.”

“I’m fine. Really I am,” he reassures. “Just stood up to fast,” he defends, although he has been feeling nauseous on and off throughout the day long before this trip, but while the throwing up started weeks before, the frequency is increasing.

NSFW

Johnny finally takes his hand off his arm.

“I’m just going to take a quick shower.” Not only does he want to freshen up, but he’s hoping it might make him feel better.

“Alright but if you’re not out in ten, or I hear a thud, I’m waking Chozen.”

Daniel is glad Chozen is passed out in the floor. He couldn’t handle that level of mother henning right now. Johnny knows it too.

In the shower he lets the warm water wash over him, reviving him a bit, turning the setting so it rushes out at the hardest pressure, easing aching muscles.

Hands run the bar of soap over his chest and he winces slightly at how sore his nipples are.

Soaping up around his midsection next, he can’t help but notice now, that despite the lack of appetite, he still has some weight around the middle but has also lost weight somehow, which is visible in other parts, his upper arms more slender than normal.

An idea hits him. When he was carrying Sam, the same thing happened. The sickness was much worse, but it made him lose weight all around, even if his stomach started showing a small bump.

In the relative safety of the shower, he allows himself to acknowledge all of the things he’s been blocking out - the sore nipples and extra puffiness of his chest, the fact he’s been extra irritable.

He rests his forehead to the tile, which despite the steam and heat is cool against his cheek when he turns his head to against it.

This is not possible - he’s almost 50 for Christ sake.

He uses birth control and Terry had wore a condom that night. He hadn’t wanted to, wanted to take Daniel bare, but Daniel had insisted, flat out refusing to let Terry fuck him unless he did, not wanting to leave anything to chance. Daniel had watched Terry roll the bloody thing down his length before the older man had grabbed his hips and ..

He stops that line of thinking, but his hole is already aching at the memory. At least he tries, but his fingers find, of their own accord, where he needs to be filled, so slick already, and it doesn’t take much to bring himself off embarrassingly quick.

Fuck, he tries to think - but the memories are hazy - all the wine that night - and he had been moaning like a whore, fucking himself back on the older man, desperate to be used.

Did Terry say something about it breaking he thinks now.

Still, he was on birth control, and even if he and Amanda weren’t really falling into each other arms the last little while, it never failed them the entire time they were using it to prevent more kids. So he must have paid it no mind - and maybe he should have.

That would be his luck though. The one time it fails would be when he finally gave in and let Terry fuck him.

——————

“If you were mine ….”

“I’m not,” he interrupts, his back to Terry who is still on the bed lounging in post coitus bliss while Daniel hastily dresses. “I never will be. So you don’t even need to entertain the idea.”

This was a mistake.

He can feel the undoubtedly heated looks Terry is giving him, like a caress, and if he were to turn around he would fall back into the man’s bed. As such he leaves without ever having turned back around.

“We’ll see,” Terry says, even if Daniel can’t hear it, looking to the unused condom in the trash can.

His Danny boy may soon be finding this is a mistake he won’t be able to forget or deny.

Terry made damn well sure of that.

——————————-

Daniel had only gone to talk - TALK - to Terry.

That was all.

He was hoping he could convince the older man to call this off to … to … to ….

What happened instead was a dinner invite to, “properly discuss all your concerns, Danny,” and wine, way too wine.

How he ended up on Terry’s dick…..

On his dick multiple times ……

Fuck, this is a mess.

Why does everything involving Terry end up a mess.

He ignores the part of his mind that says

he too is a common denominator in these scenarios

————————-

He goes to the pharmacy, grabs a test and, even though he’s alone in the hotel room, he locks the bathroom door.

A pink plus sign.

Before he lets the panic sink in, he reminds himself these aren’t always accurate.

Pregnant with Anthony, the test showed negative. It was Amanda insisting she could smell it on him, knowing what he smelled liked from Sam, that had him booking a doctor’s appt to confirm she was right and that he was very much pregnant with their second pup.

He returns, buying every brand of test they have.

He reads the instructions on the first one.

If two blue lines appear, congratulations you are pregnant, if one appears you are not.

One line and he breathes a sign of relief, sitting on the toilet heavily, blinking up at the ceiling in near tears from relief, but when he grabs it, to dispose of it, the second one starts to slowly appear right before his eyes.

Another one - another plus.

Another one - scrambling with the instructions and yes the result that stares back at him means he is pregnant.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Seven tests stare back at him, when all is said and done.

Seven tests all telling him the same thing - that he is, in fact, with pup and he knows, it can’t be anyone else’s but Terry Silver’s.

———————

“I have a gift.”

“I don’t want your gifts.”

They’ve already been through this.

“Oh I think you do - you already have one after all.”

Daniel stands, confused.

Holding out another Manila envelope that he refuses to take.

“You already gave me that ….”

“No, this is diferent. This is your test results. Confirming your pregnancy.”

Daniel stands, frozen …..

Hoping against hope, he had gone to a doctor only to have it confirmed, without a doubt.

“How the hell did you get these?” But he’s too tired to even muster up the strength to be properly angry. A part of him is also not surprised.

“I thought you would come to me,” Terry says instead of answering, ignoring the question it seems, “but looks like that was wishful thinking.”

Still, he had anticipated this, going so far as to have someone follow his little omega until Terry could be the one safely looking after him and their precious pup.

“I don’t know what ….”

“I know you’re carrying my child.”

He is both glad and terrified that he and Terry are alone in this empty room.

“Let’s not pretend otherwise.”

“I’m not keeping it,” Daniel blurts.

“Yes you are.” A statement of fact - the alpha not even phased at the outburst.

Yes he is. He wouldn’t be able to do that. It’s not his pup’s fault - that Daniel allowed Terry to father them.

Daniel doesn’t know though, that this was by Terry’s design.

Terry had wore a condom, yes, but it hadn’t been for long and certainly not when he actually slide inside. He had made a show of rolling it down his hard cock, so Daniel could see, but Terry had quickly rolled it off before - which was the only reason he had taken Daniel from behind - considering he wanted to see his face as he pushed inside - but it was easier to hide and so he certainly was not wearing it when he came deep inside him - planting that seed. Ensuring his legacy.

His wine had been spiked with a new drug in the black market that rendered omega birth control ineffective. Hard to get and extremely expensive but worth every penny.

Terry had claimed it broken when he pulled out but Daniel was fucked near stupid by that point - Terry taking him several more times for good measure ….. always coming buried deep inside - filling his womb with life.

“This means nothing,” Daniel says, ice in his voice, arms folded across his chest. “I don’t belong to you just because you got me ….” He can’t bring himself to say it.

“As the baby grows, so will your bond with me,” Terry explains gently. He doesn’t want to upset Daniel, not in his state. It can’t be good for his boy or their baby, and by the time the baby comes, Terry will have won his little omega over completely. Should they need more time for that, because it will happen, well Daniel will quickly find himself with child again. Terry will breed him until he has no choice but accept Terry as his alpha, although he plans to breed his omega again for good measure regardless - two pups minimum, but if Terry’s ultimate goal requires more than so be it. Not like Daniel wasn’t born to be a father. Not like he won’t love any pup given to him. Besides, Terry will have his legacy, a nice bonus to also having the omega tied to him forever - in a very real, very tangible and unbreakable way.

Daniel looks away from Terry’s unrelenting stare, more so the soft look in his eyes, and how they drift to his stomach.

Daniel knows that - that pregnant omegas gravitate to the fathering alphas - biological evolution left over from when an omega needed an alpha to protect and provide. Even if that’s not the case now. Daniel can take care of and provide for himself and his pup - he will - but the fact is that right now he still wants nothing more than to ….

He lashes out, but Terry was expecting it, easily taking the hit. Never would he raise his hand to his mate, let alone his pregnant mate.

“Stop,” he growls, carefully restraining the irate omega against his broader body.

Daniel does, responding to his alpha’s voice, which only serves to make him more angry.

That his omega has recognized Terry as his alpha, just because it’s his pup growing inside him, even if Daniel will continue to resist for as long as he can, even if it is inevitable.

“Stop,” Terry murmurs, more gentle this time, hands touching the omega, scenting him to help calm him.

The omega inside wants to purr and lean into the touch, but Daniel bites his lip til he tastes blood.

“I will not have you hurt yourself, or our pup,” his hand drops to the small bump, cradling it lovingly. His other hand gently rescues Daniel’s abused lip from the death grip of his teeth, tenderly wiping away the little bit of blood, before sucking it into his own mouth, the alpha rejoicing at the taste of metallic flooding his mouth from his omega’s blood.

“This is mine. You are mine.” A hand slips lower, inside his pants, covering his sex. “As is this…..”

A gasp, Daniel trying not to hump against his hand. The alpha being so close, causing the omega side to over power his rational one.

You’re wet for it,” a thick finger sliding in so fucking easy, and god he’s so fucking desperate already.

Terry’s hand on him like this is making it hard to think, let alone to resist ….

A large hand massaging his swollen, sensitive chest and he whimpers.

A thumb on his omega clit, the glide of it eased by the slick gathered by those thick tormenting fingers.

“How I wish to get my mouth on you again, taste where you’re wet and open for me, but this will have to do,” Terry kisses his temple, his own breathing as heavy as Daniel’s, the wet noises as his fingers fuck the omega squirming in this arms.

He comes, soaking Terry’s hands and his own underwear, not that they’re on for long, because Daniel somehow ends up on his back on the nearest surface, his pants long gone, his shirt up around his armpits.

A large hand rubbing the small bump as Terry rubs his cock against the omega’s slick folds and sensitive clit, licking his wet fingers clean of the omega’s dripping juices, watching his thighs tremble and jump with each pass of his cock over his hard clit.

The head keeps separating his seam, teasing the head at his entrance.

“Fuck I thought nothing felt better than your cunt around my cock that night, but having you like this,” he groans as the head pushes in, each inch easily sliding in as the omega’s hungry cunt opens for him, his legs wide open and wrapped around the alpha.

“Pregnant pussy is really the best,” Terry growls, throwing his legs over his shoulder as he fucks in, impossibly deep. Setting a hard rhythm, the omega too open and wet for it - too eager for the Alpha’s cock claiming him for there to be any resistance.

Holding his waist for leverage, to keep him in place as he fucks him, watching as his small tits move with each thrust. His chest will swell even more as the time comes, heavy with milk to feed their pup, all because of what Terry did to him.

“Fuck you were made for this.”

Thrust.

“Made to carry my pups.”

Thrust.

“To be made fat on my cock.”

The omega’s whimpers, clearly agreeing with the alpha’s crude words.

“Going to have to keep you like this. God, how you have no idea how gorgeous you look right now with my child inside you - my cock inside you ….”

Daniel pinches at his nipples, his own hand finding where he aches, his entrance stretched wide around the alpha, his body not only accepting his alpha but loving ever inch as he rubs himself to another orgasm, his body clenching even tighter, milking the alpha for all he’s worth.

“That’s it,” Terry groans, hips stuttering. “Make yourself come on my cock. Pussy gets so fucking tight for me, sweetheart …”

Fingers dip into the flesh of his hips, bruising soft skin.

Fuck, Terry wasn’t wearing a condom Daniel thinks fuzzily as he feels the seed filling him, much like to did that night, although the damage is already done. But he’s going to be walking around with damp underwear, if he can find them that is, from the alpha’s cum dripping out of him.

Pulling out, the wet slurp as the walls cling to his cock, like his body is desperate to keep the alpha inside.

“We will be returning home shortly. I do not want you around all this excitement.”

Daniel snorts.

“You think I’ll letting you out of my sight while my child is inside you?! “ He’s not going to be allowed out of Terry’s sight, even after the baby arrives.

Terry’s personal doctor has already been advised of the omega’s condition, and a team assembled to Terry’s satisfaction. Older omegas need to be monitored more closely. Terry will leave nothing to chance - not where his omega and pup are concerned.

Leaning over, Terry continues moving within the omega, pumping his hips, cock still impossibly hard. Sucking a plump nipple into his mouth just to taste, and hear the soft keen it rewards him with.

He can’t wait until they leak for him. Leak because of him, because of the child he put inside Daniel. A large hand nearly covers the expanse of the small bump, the omega so full that he’s fucking more seed out than in.

Terry pulls out when he comes this time, covering his omega’s belly with his seed this time, a few drops landing on his fucked open cunt, marking what is his.

Later on, Terry will sink his sharp teeth into the vulnerable flesh of his omega’s smooth, unmarked throat, while his cock is sunk in deep inside him, marking what is his for all to see.

[octolingo-writes]

MAY I GET DIRECTORS COMMENTARY ON THIS PART FROM UR FIC

The thoughts bombarded him like bullets to his heart and mind, and before Chip could do anything he felt himself spiraling. Oh gods, he was dead. His heart was missing. Captain Widow had literally ripped his heart out of his mouth. He could still taste the blood in the back of his throat—or could he? Could he even taste anything anymore? Was anything he felt real, anything he heard, anything he saw? Was he even real?

Chip didn’t know. For once in his life, Chip was completely without a plan. There was nothing he could do to help himself. He was dead, dead, dead, dead, dead—

“Chip,” a voice said, and a warm hand put itself on Chip’s arm. He jolted, sucking air in through his lungs more out of reflex than necessity, and sat up sharply, turning to look at—at Jay, who blinked, startled, at Chip’s sudden reaction. “Hey, there you are. You back?”

:0 of course! Honestly, I think the main thing I wanted to do here was to really quickly escalate the fic, because I knew I wanted Chip to be comforted by Jay and Gill, but since Chip was keeping to himself and wasn't in visible distress, I felt like Gill and Jay would've kept their distance unless they visibly saw that something was wrong, which is what Chip's intense dissociation was supposed to do--it's pretty likely that Jay or Gill tried to talk to Chip while he was dissociating and panicking, and so when he didn't respond they knew something was wrong

I also may have projected a little (a lot) because I tend to get lost in my own head really easily, and this bleeds into the characters I write because frankly I get lost in my own writing and then characters just start to spiral lmao--

So yeah, that was my thought process! Projection and a need for Chip to be comforted :)

[griefabyss69]

Getting a look at your WIP folder is so interesting!

I couldn't decide if I wanted to ask about the LARP AU one or one of the philias or Hell Patrol 3 and therefore decided on "per our stoned conversation" solely because it sounds really really fun 😊

Hellooo! I tried to post this twice already and it wouldn't save so I hope this time works <3 This is a recent WIP, started in October just to have something to stretch my writing muscles (and so honestly the whole beginning scene doesn't make sense for the rest of it. Lots of editing to do!) and then I just started to absolutely love it. So this is definitely one of those ones that'll be posted.... one day LMAO Under the cut - Rated M - Steddie WIP Folder Ask Game

Eddie's spine does something where he curls in on himself for a second before he seems to pick himself up like he's got a puppet string attached to his head, and he nods.

"Right, that," he says, a visible swallow highlighting his throat. "Sooo…"

Steve waits, blinking slowly at him.

He seems nervous, had seemed straight up anxious on the phone, but given how Steve's lived through so much bullshit he's not about to start getting nervous himself unless there's a good reason for it.

The sudden realization that no matter what, he trusts Eddie - even if he knows the guy's a good liar - glimmers up in his chest like he's put some heavy metal fairy dust in there.

It's as thrilling as it is a big fucking relief.

"So," Eddie coughs awkwardly, scratching lightly at the corner of his mouth. "Do you remember the last time we got high? And how we both got really fucked up and it was all really cool and fun but there was… we had some uh… Conversations…"

Ohhh, okay. He's got this.

Steve tilts his head at him, the way he knows drives women crazy when he's being sweet even as he's offering them something that's probably the most sexually adventurous they'll ever get.

"Yeah, I remember," he says, his smile real but carefully practiced anyway. "Is this about the existential crisis thing? Or is it about the weird sex stuff thing?"

Eddie stares blankly at him, the little furrow coming back.

"What existential crisis thing? Am I forgetting a whole…" he waves his hand around, abrupt and a little agitated. "A whole crisis?"

Steve shakes his head, his smile breaking out it's perfected prison as he can't help but laugh. Eddie's cute in a way that forces him to be honest.

"Maybe? It wasn't really a crisis and more like wondering about space and stuff," he says, downplaying the extremely intense discussion they had about humanity and aliens and time. "It doesn't matter, what's up with the sex talk? If it was too much I can like, tone it down."

He's got the feeling that usually precedes a three-pointer, or the knowledge he just swam his fastest lap, two things he hasn't accomplished in ages, and it's good, it tells him that Eddie is so not bringing this up to tell Steve he was being too much.

Still, it's an easy offer and an easy out. Steve hopes he doesn't take it, but as much as he likes watching him squirm, he doesn't want him to be like legit uncomfortable.

"No it was…" Eddie sighs, looking up at the ceiling. "Good. It was really good."

Steve's heart skips through a sunny meadow.

"Yeah? I thought so too," he says, sitting up on his elbows, letting his shirt pull tightly over his chest. "I told you some things that I've only ever kept in my head."

Eddie's nerves disintegrate like sugar in water, the puppetmaster above him loosening the tight strings that held him tense.

"Yeah," he breathes, smiling down at him. "I've been thinking about it."

Steve could take a bite out of him; though judging by the new things he learned about him, that's more Eddie's thing. Maybe both of them could have it as a thing, he'd have to try it out.

"What've you been thinking?" He asks, satisfaction dripping hot under his skin. "Anything in particular?"

Eddie nods, his eyes catching on Steve's chest where his nipples push against the fabric of his shirt. Steve watches him lose himself for a moment, another heavy swallow breaking him out of his little trance, his eyes snapping back up to meet Steve's.

"Uh, yes," he chokes out, swallowing again. "A few things, and maybe we could talk about them all, but there's definitely something I… I honestly can't stop wondering about."

Steve's grateful that a "sorry" doesn't slip out of Eddie's mouth at all, because the last thing he wants is for either of them to get into the habit of apologizing to each other for shit that doesn't need it, but Eddie does seem like he's close to it.

"Tell me," he whispers, letting his hips tilt out casually as he adjusts the way he's laying.

Maybe the way he looks up at him through his eyelashes and smiles is laying it on thick, but it works. He knows it does, because Eddie's thighs tense up as his breath catches. It's nice that this works on men too, because he thinks if Eddie pulled it with him he'd be the one trying to be subtle as he clenched his fists at his sides, cheeks getting a little redder.

"I-I… Jesus Christ, okay," he says, tilting his head back with his eyes closed. "You said uh, you said you want to be used, like in a specific way, I…"

[streetknown]

FIRST MEETINGS MEME a meme for first meetings and  introduction threads, aka a ‘what you will notice about my muse first’  cheat sheet. repost, don’t reblog. bold what applies. fill in details.  (please do not remove the credit + blank meme link)

blank meme: x

GENERAL APPEARANCE

Gender: Cisgender female

Race/Ethnicity: White 

Complexion: Very fair skinned-- hasn’t tanned much throughout her life so her skin has stayed pale. When she blushes or gets heated, it’s extremely obvious on her face. She’s got a few scattered freckles over her nose due to the sun exposure she HAS had

Height: 5′1

Body Type: Ectomorph. 

Body Build: Skinny with a good amount of lean muscle in her legs and arms and baby abs. Her breasts are small and so are her hips, but her thighs (and ass lmao) are a good, strong size. Does not look as strong as she really is.

Body Hair: Minimal. Her arm and leg hair is barely visible due to how pale blonde it is, though she doesn’t shave her legs at all. Will keep herself shaved under the belt most of the time, and when she has time, she forms the hair there into a heart or a landing strip.

Head Hair: A good mix between golden and pale blonde. Thin but healthy, since she’s never dyed it at all. Her hair grows pretty fast so she cuts it herself frequently. Has had the side shaved ever since she got out of prison. 

Eye color: Vibrant, strikingly blue. In Cyberpunk verse, her eyes glow bright due to a cosmetic implant. 

Scars: The most visible one is on her face, left by an angry ex boyfriend. She has several more scattered all over her body due to her merc jobs, most being small from bullet shots or pocket knife stabbings. The largest one on her body is on her right thigh from getting stabbed by a butcher knife.

FASHION

Fashion Style: Street punk and traditional goth when she has the time. 

Color Palette: 98% black, 2% purple. 

Typical Clothing:  Black cargo pants with a crop top-- she has a lot of different crop tops she likes to wear, either with long sleeves or cut off sleeves. Combat boots, always. When she has time to mess around, she likes to wear gothic dresses and skirts and high-heeled boots or heels. 

Piercings: Multiple piercings on both ears. Eyebrow is pierced, as well as the bridge of her nose. Under her clothes, her nipples are pierced and so is her clit, because duh, it’s Vera. 

Tattoos: Too many to count. The most in-your-face ones are the knife and centipede on her face, as well as the plant veins on her head, extending all the way down to her arm. 

Other Information: Vera will wear the least amount of clothes as possible when she’s not on a job. She loves showing skin and wears extremely tiny shorts and shirts most of the time. She’s not ashamed about it. 

EXPRESSION

General Facial Expression: Irritated and/or snarky most of the time. She doesn’t have an approachable face and she’s scowling more often than not. With her little crooked mouth, her smiles seem taunting and cocky.

Default Body Language: Rushed and unsociable. She likes to take up as much space as she can and just comes off as extremely rude and like someone who doesn’t have time to bullshit around. It’s mostly true. 

General Movements:  She’s pretty jittery-- you won’t catch her sitting or standing still for long. She likes to move around and do stuff with her hands, so she’ll typically have a cigarette between her fingers or a pocketknife to flip around and mess with. 

NOTABLE FOR RP

Presence: Anxiety inducing. She seems incapable of fully relaxing and mostly always seems on edge and it’s not something she can really hide from others, so that tends to be noticed by whoever she’s around. 

Appearance: Sewer rat vibes most of the time. Her makeup tends to be smudged all the time and unless she’s meeting with a fixer or doing a job or going out with someone important, she does NOT look put together or clean. 

Scent: Cigarettes and/or alcohol. When she showers the smell of her lavender shampoo and body wash stays on her for days due to how concentrated it is. She can smell pretty sweaty when she hasn’t been able to shower in a couple days. 

Voice Description: A bit raspy-- smoother than people assume, can get very high pitched when she’s yelling or worked up. She has no issues with being LOUD and getting her point across. She doesn’t have the voice of a shy girl. 

Accent: No accent for the most part. She did grow up with a lot of Spanish being spoken around her so SOMETIMES some weird influence of that slips out, but that’s it. 

Speech Mannerisms: Very lingo-based and leaves out pronouns in most of her sentences, tends to start with the verb instead of “I” or “he/she/they”. Extremely informal and what the old folks would describe as “punk”, does not show respect with her words and curses excessively. 

Anything else to add? she can’t read or write and she’s just an absolute goddamn menace to night city, thanks. 

[dem-obscure-imagines]

Just the Three of Us

Steve Harrington x Reader x Eddie Munson

Fandom: Stranger Things

AU: Soulmate

Summary: After crashlanding in the mystical magical world of the 1980s, you discover that you have not one, but two soulmates and they are determined to take the best care of you they possibly can.

Note: Takes place sometime after Season 4 I guess?? Everyone lives and is happy (even though we don’t have those answers yet lmao). Also, yes another Soulmate AU. So sorry, but I am trash. Consider this my apology for discontinuing Stranded lol.

Warnings: poly fluff, swearing

Word Count: 3.2k

Reader Is: Female

Holy fuck, did your head hurt. Your ears were ringing really loudly and everything was black. Add to the list your limbs felt like they were full of sand and you were not having a good time. After a long moment, the ringing began to subside enough to make out some (unfamiliar) voices, who seemed to be bickering above you somewhere.

“She needs to go to a hospital. Like, now.” One of the voices argued. “Look at her.”

“And tell them what, Steve, that she fell from the sky?” Another voice, this one younger, replied.

“I don’t know, man, I think Harrington’s right. She doesn’t look so good.” A third voice, this one a bit deeper than either of the others, said. “Add to that the fact that she fell from the fucking sky.”

You tried your best to lift your eyelids, but everything was so heavy. Too heavy to move.

“Well we have to do something! We can’t just stand there and let her—” This voice sounded like a girl. A paranoid one at that.

“Wait, look.” The deep voice said, causing all of the others to stop talking for a moment. Even with your eyes closed, you could feel all of their gazes on you.

You attempted to speak, to say something, but the best you could manage was a low whine. You wiggled your fingers the slightest bit, pushing, pushing, pushing to the surface.

“I think she can hear us.” The first voice, Steve, deduced.

You felt a hand against yours. Large, warm fingers, and something cold, like metal.

“Hey, it’s okay. Take your time.” The deeper voice encouraged.

You took a long, deep breath, and then, after an impossibly long moment, you managed to open your eyes, all of your limbs tingling as you did so. “Fuck.” You groaned, struggling to move, but realizing very quickly that that wouldn’t be happening just yet.

“Oh my God,” The girl said, a hand covering her mouth. Her hair was cut short and there was this quirky, unexplainable energy about her. “Hi. Um. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” You replied, exhaling a sigh as you looked to the others in the room. And as soon as you did, something was…wrong. For starters, one of them looked like he’d stepped out of an 80’s hair band, and the other older boy looked like he had about half a tub of hair gel holding up his shiny brown hair. “Oh God…” You muttered.

Slowly, you began to sit up. There was a fourth person in the room, this one obviously younger than the other three. He was wearing a baseball cap with vibrant neon letters on it, and he had a walkie-talkie in his hand. They all stared at you, waiting for you to speak, or say something further.

“I…where am I?”

“Hawkins, Indiana.” The youngest said, his eyes expectant.

You pressed your lips together, skeptical to say the least. “No, that can’t…” You looked at the décor around the room, old posters for movies and musicians and they were all a little…too vintage to be anything anyone your age would have. Well…unless… “Is this…What…year is it?”

You asked the question slowly and they were all quiet for a really long time, staring at you like you’d sprouted antennae all of a sudden.

“You’re not saying what I think you’re saying, right?” The youngest asked, visibly getting a bit excited at the prospect. “Because if you’re saying what I think you’re saying…”

“Let her speak, Dustin, Jesus.” The guy with the gel in his hair, Steve, you connected, based on his voice.

“Because, I mean, you all look like you’re…from like the ‘80s.” You shook your head. You sounded crazy even saying it out loud. “But that would be—”

“It’s not crazy.” The girl reassured you. “Because, uh, it is the ‘80s. 1986.”

“Fuck.” You repeated, this time more in awe and shock than when you had groaned it before in nothing but pain. Though, you would admit, you were a little nauseous, thinking about it. “I…wow.”

“You okay?” The guy with the deeper voice and the hair band hair asked, noticing your discomfort.

“I don’t know.” You repeated, shaking your head and letting out a breathy laugh. “Holy fuck this is not happening…” To say you were having a bit of a breakdown was putting it lightly.

“Do you remember what happened before you came here?” Dustin asked.

“Yeah, I blew out my birthday candles.”

“Happy birthday!” The girl said sincerely.

You smiled. “Thank you.” You paused, thinking back. “Yeah, no, that’s it. Twenty-first birthday party one minute and this couch the next.”

Putting the pieces together, you rolled up the sleeve of your shirt. Sure enough, there it was, silver and gleaming and glittering and fresh. Your soulmark.

“You…you don’t happen to know a Steve Harrington or an Eddie Munson, do you?” You looked up at them, watching their faces as they looked at you and then each other, and then raced to lift their sleeves to look for themselves.

“You’re (Y/N) (L/N)?” Steve asked tentatively, reading from his arm and looking up at you.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Holy fuck! I knew it!” Eddie jumped, pumping his fist while Steve’s handsome features broke into a giant smile, looking at you with soft eyes. Eddie knelt down in front of you and took your hand in his, looking into your eyes. “I knew there was something about you.” He paused for a moment. “But seriously, do you need to go to the hospital?”

***

It had been approximately an hour. Steve got you some Tylenol and a Cherry Coke and made sure you were comfortable on the couch. Dustin looked like it was taking every ounce of self-control he had to not ask you a billion questions, and Eddie hadn’t left your side for a single second. Robin, meanwhile, was informing the rest of their friend group as to what had happened, and developing a more permanent plan for you.

“When are you from?” Dustin finally cracked, curiosity glinting in his eyes. He had a notebook on hand.

“Dustin, please.” Steve said, exasperated.

“It’s okay.” You told him, chuckling softly. Steve and Eddie both waited for your answer as well, more than curious, due to your connection to them. “I’m from 2022.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped and Steve’s eyes widened. “That’s uh…” Eddie started to do the math in his head, but stopped when he realized what a large number it was. He whistled. “That’s a while from now.”

Steve made an awkward face. “Yeah, you could say that again.”

“How long have you two had your marks?” You asked both of them, looking from one to the other.

Steve chuckled to himself. “It’s only been a few months since we figured out we were each other’s soulmates. But we’d never even heard your name before, (Y/N).”

“Been looking for you ever since, though.” Eddie amended quickly. “To no avail, for obvious reasons.”

You looked down at his shirt. “Is that an X-Men reference?”

“Is what—” He looked down and then smiled. “Yeah, it is. I, uh, named my DnD club after the Hellfire Club.”

“Oh my god, you’re a vintage DnD nerd.” You said excitedly. “What class are you?”

He smirked confidently. “I’m the DM.”

“Holy shit.” You smiled. “That’s hot.”

Eddie was absolutely glowing at this compliment. “Glad you think so, sweetheart.”

“It’s like they’re speaking another language.” Steve chuckled to himself.

“See, Harrington, I told you, you need to start coming to Hellfire.” Dustin said, grinning.

“Should have known my other soulmate would be a nerd, too.”

Eddie smirked and gave Steve a little nudge. “You love it.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile a bit. “Yeah, I do.”

“Harrington here was cool in high school.” Eddie informed you. “King Steve. Got invited to parties and shit.”

You smiled and looked at him, taking in this new information. “That checks out.”

“He’s also a badass. He fights monsters on occasion. Saved my life a bunch.”

“Well damn.” You tilted your head, looking at him. “I can see it.”

“Eddie, babe, you’re gonna blow up my ego.” Steve laughed. He chuckled to himself about the whole thing. “How are you doing, by the way? You know, with all of this.” Steve motioned to the room around you.

You smiled softly. “I’m okay. You guys are making it a lot easier, that’s for sure.”

“Good. Good. I’m glad.” He nodded, a bit relieved.

Robin came down the stairs a few minutes later with a basket of clothes. “Mrs. Byers gave us some of her clothes, too. She said (Y/N) can stay with her if she wants to.”

“Aww, that’s nice of her.” Dustin said, smiling.

“We can take her back to our place, too.” Steve offered, looking at Eddie, who nodded. And then he looked to you. “You know, if you want to of course. We don’t want to rush you or anything.”

“It’s totally up to you.” Eddie tacked on. “No pressure.”

Their chemistry was adorable, you decided. You wondered how long they’d known each other before the universe decided to tell them they were actually meant to spend the rest of their lives together. Maybe you’d get to ask them soon.

“I’d love to stay with you two.” You told them.

“Cool. Awesome. Um, do you think you can walk?” Steve asked, looking you over. You seemed to be doing a lot better than when they first saw you, but given the circumstances, he couldn’t be sure.

“I might need a little help,” you admitted. Despite your best efforts, you were still trembling and your legs felt like Jell-O. Luckily, you had not one, but two soulmates more than ready to assist you.

“No worries.” Steve said, kneeling in front of you. He waited for your approval, and when you nodded, he slipped an arm under your knees, the other wrapping around your back for support. “I’ve got you.”

He lifted you with ease, carrying you up the stairs with Eddie following the two of you closely, your can of Cherry Coke in his hand and his car keys in the other.

“You’re strong.” You said, your arm loosely hanging around Steve’s shoulders for more support.

He blushed. “Well who do you think carried you in here, princess?”

“I think I now have the answer to that question.” You chuckled, very aware of just how close his face was to yours. God, it was true what they said about soulmates. The attraction was…immediate.

Eddie unlocked the car, opened your door, and climbed into the driver’s seat while Steve gently set you in the passenger seat, buckling you in. Steve then climbed into the back seat.

Unlike usual, Eddie didn’t peel out of the driveway at a neck-breaking speed. Instead, he backed out slowly and drove like you were made of glass and he was afraid at every turn that you would shatter. Or puke in his van, one of the two.

“Uh, what kind of music do you like?” Eddie asked, changing the radio to something a little more mainstream than his usual tastes.

“All sorts of stuff. In terms of stuff you would know, um…ABBA and Elton John and Queen…”

“Solid choices.” Steve said. “Is their music still popular then?”

“Elton John just had a musical made about his life, Queen got a Biopic called Bohemian Rhapsody, and ABBA’s music spurned not one, but two jukebox musical movies. So yeah, still pretty popular.”

“And the rock and metal and stuff?” Eddie asked.

“It still has a cult following. Tons of super dedicated fans, but it’s not super mainstream.”

Eddie grinned. “Okay, cool.”

The ride to Eddie and Steve’s new townhouse wasn’t super long. It wasn’t a huge place, but it was the perfect size for two—now three—people. Once Eddie parked, you opened the passenger door and swiveled so your legs were facing the opening. Steve got out quickly and stood right there, ready to catch you.

“I want to try to walk.” You said, sliding out of the seat and letting your feet touch the pavement. Steve’s arm hovered loosely around your waist, ready to catch you if this wasn’t such a good idea yet.

Somehow, though, you got up the steps and through the front door without too much trouble. Eddie went ahead and turned all the lights on, as the sun was nearing setting. You took in the surroundings. There wasn’t a ton of furniture, but that was the norm for college-age guys anyway. There were a couple posters on the walls, and you noticed a picture of Steve and Eddie together, Eddie wearing a graduation gown and grinning like he’d just won the lottery. Cute.

“Make yourself at home, sweetheart.” Eddie told you, his gaze soft and comforting.

And even though you hadn’t been there long at all, it was already beginning to feel like that word was accurate. Home.

“We, uh, have a VCR if you want to watch any movies.” Steve told you, motioning to the machine under the TV.

“You guys have Back to the Future?” You chuckled. “I feel like that one would be fitting, all things considered. Plus, it’s one of my favorite movies.”

“You’re into the oldies, huh?” Eddie teased, the concept of his present being your kind of distant past still weirding him out.

You thought about making some comment about them being the oldies, but decided against it. Probably too soon for that kind of thing. “Yeah, good thing, too.”

“Well, we do have a copy of it. I work at Family Video and—” Steve said, watching the face you made when he said it. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just…That is a very vintage sentence.”

His eyes widened with something akin to panic. “What happens to Family Video?”

“They close. All of them. It’s tragic, really. Most media is just digital in the future. Physical media is almost dead.”

“Damn.” Steve shook his head, thinking about it very deeply. “Well, I’ve got about 36 years to get that figured out, huh.”

“We’ll find you a new job by then, babe.” Eddie patted Steve’s shoulder, comfortingly. “That, or my band will be big enough by then that I can just spoil both of you rotten.”

You settled into the couch, and the boys followed after pretty soon after, once Steve put Back to the Future in.

***

The movie ended and you were tired despite taking quite the nap before. Something about time travel just wiped you out. Steve and Eddie could both tell you’d probably be going to sleep pretty soon.

“Hey, so uh, we don’t have a guest room. Um…I’ll totally sleep on the floor out here and Eddie can take the couch and you can have our bed.” Steve explained, sounding a bit nervous.

“I’m not gonna let you sleep on the floor and the couch.” You shook your head. “If you want, um…I’d be okay with…sharing the bed with you guys. I mean, if it’s big enough. And if you want me to. If not, I can totally take the couch—”

“You are not sleeping on the couch after everything you’ve been through today, princess.” Eddie put his foot down. “I’m fine with you sleeping with us. I’m sure Steve is too. Not…not like that of course, just—”

“I get it.” You chuckled.

“Cool. Great. I’ll go get everything ready up there, alright?” Steve said, jabbing a thumb back towards the stairs.  

You nodded. Eddie handed you the basket of clothes the girls had rounded up for you so you could find some pajamas in it. It looked like Joyce had gone out to get you some other basics, too. Underwear and socks and a toothbrush and stuff.

You found something suitable pretty quickly. “Um, Eddie, where’s your bathroom?”

“Right this way, milady.” Eddie helped you off of the couch and led you to the bathroom upstairs, where all of their toiletries were. Yep. This was definitely a boys’ bathroom. “Sorry it’s a mess in there. We weren’t expecting a beautiful guest such as yourself. We’ll clean it up, though.”

“It’s fine Eddie, thank you.”

“Yeah, no prob. Um…I’ll wait out here and listen in case you fall, okay?”

You grinned. “I’m not made of glass, you know.”

“Well, yeah, but I can’t have you hitting your pretty little head, now can I? Harrington would kill me.”

“Why would I kill you, Munson?” Steve asked, leaning against the doorway.

“If I left her alone and she hit her head in the bathroom.”

“Oh yeah. Yeah definitely.” Steve agreed, his arms crossed and a playful smile on his face. “We’ll be right here. No rush, though. Take your time.”

You did just that, taking a good long moment to change into pajamas, brush your teeth, and rinse your face with some cold water. But even when you did that and looked in the mirror, you were still in the ‘80s. Huh. Weird.

You shrugged and walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, where Steve and Eddie were on the bed in their pajamas, talking kind of quickly about, you presumed, the crazy new shake-up in their lives. Eddie noticed you and stared, silencing Steve immediately.

“Oh, babe, hey, what side of the bed do you want?” Steve asked and then hesitated. “Wait, should I not call you babe yet? Is it too soon?”

“You can call me whatever you want.” You assured him, laughing. “And, uh…can I sleep in the middle?”

Eddie and Steve both said “Yes.” At the same time.

“Cool.” You chuckled and crawled up the center of the bed, getting under the covers while the other two got in beside you. It was a little awkward, none of you knowing exactly what to say or do, and none of you wanting to be the first to do so.

Steve turned out the light and the three of you laid there on your backs, completely straight in their dark bedroom.

“You guys can touch me, you know.”

“Oh okay cool.” Eddie replied, turning a bit to face you. He took your hand gently in his own and reached up to your face with his other one, pushing the hairs out of your eyes. “I think I speak for both of us when I say I am so stoked you’re here. And I know it can be hard being in a new environment like this, but if you need anything, you’ve got both of us, alright?”

“Thank you.” You whispered, nodding, your voice caught in your throat a bit due to his proximity, his warmth, and that sparkle in his eyes when he looked at you like you were made of pure magic.

“What he said.” Steve scooted a bit closer, an arm carefully settling around your waist. “We’re not going anywhere. We’ll be right here in the morning and…we’re all gonna get this stuff figured out. I promise.”

You nodded against him, your free hand resting on his. “Can I…kiss you guys goodnight?”

Instead of replying, Eddie leaned forward slowly, capturing your lips in a soft, passionate kiss. And then he kissed your nose for good measure. “Goodnight, princess.” Eddie smirked before passing you off to Steve. Steve’s kiss was a little firmer, a little more confident, but still very sweet.

“Get some rest, babe.” Steve told you, pressing one last kiss to your forehead before the three of you called it a night.

Part 2

[dyk3medown]

study buddy

eddie munson x reader

summary: a study session with eddie quickly takes a turn after you decide to reward him for getting the right answers

warnings: fem reader, smut, friends to lovers, unprotected sex, kinda fluffy especially at the end, mentions of Wuthering Heights (yes that deserves its own warning)

a/n: apparently i am unable to write an eddie fic where his hair pulling kink isn’t mentioned at least once. this is gross and fluffy at the end but i couldn't figure out another way to finish it so. also i haven’t read wuthering heights in a few years so please excuse me if my analysis is a bit off lmao.

smut under the cut <3

Contrary to popular belief at Hawkins High, Eddie Munson is not dumb. Sure, he’s in his third year as a senior, but this year he’ll graduate; he just knows it. You think so too and are determined to get him to pass his English class, the one he’s failed multiple years in a row. He’s actually really smart, he just needs a little help channeling his intelligence into academics rather than crafting an elaborate DnD campaign.

You’re sitting in Eddie’s room, trying to help him study, but his mind keeps wandering, and you’re having trouble getting anything substantial done.

“Look,” you sigh, “we’re getting nowhere with this.”

You bite your lip, pondering an idea for a second. “What if I… give you an incentive?”

You don’t mean it to be, but your tone is slightly suggestive. Eddie’s eyes widen, and you watch his adam’s apple bob in his throat as he visibly gulps. “What, uh, what kind of incentive?”

“You can pick, I want it to be effective.”

“Why don’t you take off some of your clothes every time I get an answer right,” Eddie jokes, grinning at you.

“Okay.” Your face remains serious as you feign nonchalance, despite the nerves wracking your body. There’s always been some tension between you and Eddie, and you frequently jokingly flirt with each other, but this is taking it to a whole new level.

“Wait, what?” Eddie’s smile has turned decidedly more nervous.

“I said okay.” You repeat. “I told you to choose an incentive and you did.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Unless you want to pick something else?”

“No!” Eddie exclaims loudly out before bringing his voice to a normal volume. “No, that’s fine, we can do the uh, clothes thing.”

You let a small smile through your stone-faced facade. He’s so cute when he’s being a dork.

“First question,” You clear your throat and look up from the paper. “What is one thing symbolized by the ghosts in Wuthering Heights?”

Eddie thinks for a moment before responding. “An absence of, uh, closure? And the lingering presence of the past?”

“Yes, Eddie, that’s really good!” You beam at him.

You reach down and tug off your socks, shooting him a stern look when he makes a sound of protest. “Socks count! Get another question right and you’ll get something better.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Eddie replies cheekily, giving you a mock salute.

You ask him another question, and he gets that one right as well. You shed your jacket, now just in a shirt and shorts. If he keeps this up, you’re going to be very naked very soon.

“Next question.” Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, and Eddie’s gaze flickers to your mouth before snapping back. “What point does Brontë demonstrate about revenge through Heathcliff’s character?”

Eddie’s brow furrows as he tries to think. After a minute, he throws his hands up in defeat. “I don’t know.”

“C’mon Eddie, you got this.” You give him an encouraging smile. “Think about the end of the story, how Heathcliff died and how he felt.”

“The point is, um, revenge won’t give us what we want?” You motion for him to continue. “Heathcliff gets his revenge and is still miserable before he dies. So, uh, focusing on the events of the past only prevents us from achieving happiness in the present?”

Eddie looks unsure, but you nod, clapping your hands together excitedly. “Exactly! You’re doing so well, Eddie, you’re going to destroy this test.”

You both look at each other silently for a second before you realize. “Oh, right.” You pull your shirt up over your head, and you can hear Eddie’s breath hitch as your bra is revealed.

You put it on the ground next to you, feigning nonchalance, but your heart is racing. Goosebumps rise on your skin, but you’re not sure if it’s from the slight chill in the air or the weight of Eddie’s stare on your chest.

“Hey!” You snap your fingers in front of his face, and his eyes shoot up to yours, not even having the decency to look embarrassed. “Let’s keep going, okay?”

You continue to quiz him, and to your pleasant surprise, he gets most of the questions right. After some stalling - taking off my necklace counts, Eddie! - you end up in just your bra and underwear, sending a silent thank you to the universe that you had picked out something cute that morning.

Eddie is clearly affected by your state of undress. His hands grip white-knuckled onto his thighs as if he’s physically restraining himself from touching, you or himself you’re not sure. You’d been politely ignoring the way his pants had tented, but now you’re finding it hard not to look.

With all the blood in his body directed far from his brain, it’s really a miracle he managed to answer so many questions correctly.

You force yourself to look back at your list of questions. “Last question,” you inform Eddie, your voice wavering just slightly.

He gets it right.

Locking eyes with Eddie, you reach behind your back to unclasp your bra, letting the straps fall down your arms until it falls to the floor. His eyes darken as more of your skin is revealed, breaking eye contact to gaze hungrily at your chest. You fight the urge to cover yourself. Part of you is incredibly embarrassed, but another part preens under his attention, loving how his breathing has turned ragged from watching you undress.

“Why don’t you ask me one more question?” Eddie asks you, leaning forward slightly. “But this time I want a new incentive.”

Gone are all the traces of Eddie’s familiar goofy behavior, now replaced by a simmering intensity that threatens to overwhelm you.

“What do you want?” You’re replying to his question, but in reality, you’re asking much more than that.

“If I get it right,” Eddie’s fingers twitch on his thighs, “I get to touch.”

You inhale sharply, pulling your knees up to your chest as you consider. The tension in the room has reached a fever pitch, and if you keep going, if you take that leap, you know there’s no way you’ll be able to stop.

“That okay, princess?” Eddie has moved closer in your moment of contemplation, now close enough to place his hands on your knees and push them down, exposing your chest once again.

“Yeah, that’s okay.” You clear your throat and try to formulate a new question.

“When was Wuthering Heights first published?”

It’s an easy question, one that Eddie should immediately know the answer to, considering it’s been written on the board in his English class for four weeks straight.

Eddie’s lips curl into a smirk as he answers, “1847.”

Before you can even tell him he answered correctly, Eddie’s hands are on you, surging forward to finally do what he has been craving for so long. One hand runs up your thigh while the other goes to your chest, squeezing gently. He runs his thumb over your nipple and you shudder, so on edge that even the slightest touch sends shockwaves through your body. He shifts forward to nip at where your neck meets your shoulder, the scrape of his teeth followed by a swipe of his tongue to soothe the sting.

Eddie continues his path upwards, resting his hand at the base of your throat for a moment before moving it to cup your cheek. His other hand has crept far enough up that he’s only centimeters from the apex of your thighs, dangerously close to where you’re desperate for his touch. His thumb rests gently on your bottom lip as his gaze flickers between your mouth and your eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” Eddie asks softly, and you can only nod, not trusting your voice to work.

Eddie leans in slowly, lips barely brushing against yours before pressing more firmly in a kiss that quickly turns heated. He’s quite talented with his tongue, and you can’t help but imagine where else he could put it to use.

His fingers graze the waistband of your underwear, dipping in slightly.

“What do you want?” Eddie pulls back, echoing your earlier question.

“Just touch me.” You pull him back into a searing kiss, gasping into his mouth as his hand moves down and his fingertips brush your clit.

Eddie dips lower, a low groan escaping him as he feels how wet you are. He brings his fingers back up to your clit and starts to make slow circles, moving easily with how you coated them with your slick.

Your head falls to his shoulder, panting against his neck as he gradually speeds up. You link your arms over his shoulders as you turn your attention to the pale skin of his throat, kissing and sucking until dark marks bloom under your attention. Eddie’s hand starts to falter, and you quickly grow impatient, pushing him back and reaching for his belt.

Eddie takes off his shirt as you fumble with the buckle, replacing your hands with his own and taking it off with ease.

He rids himself of the rest of his clothes as you do the same, greedily taking in every inch of skin that is revealed. You clench around nothing at the sight of his cock when it springs free, long and thick and surprisingly pretty, a word you never thought you would use as a descriptor for something like that, but nothing about Eddie follows the norm.

Eddie pulls you into his lap, and you tangle your fingers into his hair as you bring him in for another kiss. His lips seem to fit perfectly against yours and, god, why hadn’t you done this before? You tug gently at his hair, and he moans into your mouth, prompting you to do it again. He moans even louder as you pull harder, head snapping back and hips jerking up.

“Fuck, baby.” Eddie pants as the head of his cock brushes against your entrance. “Need to be inside you.”

“Yes please, Eddie, want you to fuck me,” you gasp as you shift and the tip nudges against your clit.

He lines himself up, and you sink down slowly, both of you moaning as he fills you up. You pause for a moment when he bottoms out, clenching around him as you adjust to the rather large intrusion. You’re incredibly grateful that his uncle is gone for the night because you don’t think you could hold back the noises you’re making.

Bracing yourself on his shoulders, you lift yourself up halfway before dropping back down, repeating this action until you’ve built up a quick rhythm.

“Fuck, princess.” Eddie grabs onto your hips as you bounce on his cock, gently guiding your movements. “You feel so good around me, so fucking tight.”

He plants his feet on the ground and starts to fuck up into you, thrusting up every time you drop down.

“Eddie!” You cry out as he gets even deeper, angling his hips slightly to hit the spot inside you that makes your eyes roll back.

You reach one hand down to rub your clit, clenching around him at the extra sensation.

“Shit,” Eddie curses, “keep doing that, baby, you look so good playing with that pretty pussy for me.”

You let out a whine at his words, moving your fingers faster. You’re not sure where his sudden affinity for dirty talk came from, but you’re certainly not complaining as he continues to praise you, calling you his good girl in a tone that makes you shiver.

Eddie pulls you in for a surprisingly tender kiss, a clear contrast to his harsh thrusts.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” He says as you break apart, resting his forehead against yours. “Wanted you, wanted to make you mine.”

“I’m yours.” You can’t help the smile that grows on your face. “It’s always been you, Eddie.”

“Yeah? You ever think about this, baby?” Eddie asks, his sincere tone turning to something much darker. “God I used to jerk off all the time thinking about you, imagining how you’d feel around my cock.”

You whine as he gives a few particularly harsh thrusts, hanging on to his shoulders for dear life. You find yourself rapidly approaching the edge, throwing your head back as you bounce even faster.

Eddie matches your pace, his grip on your hips tightening to the point that you’re sure he’ll leave marks.

“Not gonna last much longer, princess,” Eddie warns, voice audibly strained. “Where do you want me to-”

“Inside,” you cut him off. “I’m on the pill, I want you to cum inside me.”

“Jesus fucking-” Eddie’s voice breaks. “Yeah, I can do that, baby, you want me to fill you up? Want me to fuck you full of my cum?”

“Eddie!” His words are enough to tip you over the edge, chanting his name as you cum.

“Fuck!” Eddie follows you with a punched-out groan, the feeling of your walls spasming around his cock too much to handle.

You collapse against him after you ride out your orgasm, his cock still twitching inside of you. You rest your cheek on his collarbone, and he bends his head down to place a kiss on your forehead, then the tip of your nose, then your lips.

Eddie eventually slips out of you, half carrying you to the bathroom as your legs prove to be more than a bit shaky. He helps you clean up, kissing you every so often with an infectious grin on his face.

He gives you one of his shirts to wear and drags you into bed with him, wrapping himself around you like an oversized koala. Who knew Eddie Munson would be such a cuddler?

As you drift off in his arms, you can’t believe how lucky you’ve gotten, that you get to have him like this.

All in all, it was definitely a successful study session.

taglist: (if your tag doesn’t work, pls message me so i can try to fix it!!!)

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[prismartist]

cw for ren being very sick in the background

---

Scott stared at the huge box structure, feeling unsure. Not really about any particular thing, but just in general. Aside from the question whether he should disturb its inhabitants, as they hadn't emerged in hours, he also felt unsure about how to communicate with them at all. There were no doors, no windows, no visible way in, and no place to knock, unless Scott wanted to severely injure his knuckles.

After a moment of contemplation, Scott settled on hoping that his own voice carried beyond the thick cobblestone. "Ren? BigB?" he called out. "Are you there?"

The silence from the base proceeded for a while, before a block broke, and BigB tentatively poked his head through. He had a look of lingering exhaustion, and his smile wavered. "Oh hi Scott!"

"BigB?" The two flinches as Ren's croaky, more-pathetic-than-usual voice called from inside. "Who's there?"

"It's just Scott!" BigB replied.

"Agh, that hobbit. Make sure he does not invade our walls!"

"Yes, Ren, I'll make sure he doesn't invade our walls." BigB turned back, apologetic. "Sorry, he's a bit loopy."

"I don't... mind?"

"So what's up?"

"Well, just wanted to check on you guys. You've been in there for a while, and as good neighbors, me and Cleo thought it would be a good idea to bring some food." Scott produced a leather bag and held it up with an inquiring smile. "Care for some bread and baked potatoes?"

"Oh my god, thank you," gasped BigB, reaching and taking the goods. "This will definitely help, once Ren's, uh... settled."

It was at this point that Scott became acutely aware of some terrible groans coming from inside the base, as well as the smell of what he could only describe as something gone wrong.

"Oh my god, what is happening in there?!" Scott clapped a hand over his nose and mouth, and BigB winced.

"Uhmmmm... well, Ren and I had a little... experiment, you could say, earlier." BigB scratched the back of his neck sheepishly (or goat-ishly, what with his new ears and horns). "It was nice honestly, we both learned a lot, but I think one of us hasn't adapted to the goat lifestyle well."

Scott could almost feel the loading screen pop into his head. "Goat lifestyle?"

"Oh you know, just... goat. Things."

Scott lowered his hand. "BigB. Did you and Ren eat grass."

"Uhm."

"Don't lie to me, BigB."

"Okay yes we did," BigB quickly admitted, cringing. "But we were craving!"

"How much did you have??"

"A lot, dude. A lot. I'm not proud either. But in our defense––" BigB raised both his hands, "––it tasted good."

Scott moved his hand back onto his face in a full facepalm. "I hate adaption," he muttered. "Whatever god thought it would be a good idea for people to mutate in new worlds, I'm going to kill them."

"Yeah, and I don't know why Ren reacted so badly, we've both gained goat features and stuff but he's not taking the grass well."

"Might just be a him thing, to be fair."

"Like the dog thing?"

"Not necessarily, most dogs don't get sick from grass, but some do. That might be overpowering the goat parts."

BigB's eyes widened. "Ohhh, is that it? That makes sense, you're smart."

"Thank you, I am."

"BigB, my tummy's rumbling again, man," Ren once again piped up.

Scott took a step back, to maybe ease some space between him and the aura emanating from the Box of Regret. "Anyways, I think I better go before it gets too dark. And besides, I do not want anything to do with that, no offense."

"Oh of course, I get that, I get that."

"Well––" Scott gave a wave, "––best of luck, I feel like you'll need it. Tell Ren I hope he gets better."

"Yeah, I will." BigB gave another strained smile and waved back. "See you dude, thanks for stopping by."

"See you, BigB."

And BigB hurriedly replaced the block.

---

(sequel to this fun lil snippet because a lotta people were talking about dogs eating grass in the notes... so i made an epilogue based on that lmao)

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[honorguk]

dating➔ jeong jaehyun

» navigation | REQUESTED

what it’s like to date jaehyun from NCT (based on my assumptions)

────✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ────

─ • OVERALL:

it was most likely johnny that introduced you two to each other

honestly, probably started off as FWBs and he couldn’t help but fall for you

the type to tag you in the bottom right corner of his instagram pics

buys you vinyls + listen to Cigarettes After Sex together as you dance in the living room

he spoils you with shopping trips like every weekend

him singing in the shower whenever he’s at your place

you bringing the boys takeout and watching them rehearse

and they all attack you with hugs as a ‘thank you’

you two decide to keep the relationship secret for a while because “it’s more exciting”

after you got together, both of you suddenly got too shy to do anything

like you lot barely held hands

thank god you were invited to a double date by one of your friends, and you and jaehyun got much closer when you started teasing the other couple about their cringy PDA

and then you both got to the car and didn’t even realise you were holding hands the entire time

whenever he drives, his hand is surely on your thigh

jamming VERY LOUDLY to songs literally anywhere (and sharing air pods uwu)

he’s a bit cold at first because he isn’t used to fully expressing his romantic emotions, but you should expect a few song lyrics dedicated to you

and also he’ll bring you cut up fruit to show his appreciation and love :3

honestly you guys have the type of love that grows the more you guys are together

and he makes it obvious as well by being the best boyfriend he can be <3

─ • DATES YOU GO ON:

aants to make everything seem like a kdrama

‘long walks by the river side’ is like your go-to date idea - the man could write a fantastic tinder bio

window shopping in the evening, and he always mentally takes note of the items that you really want so he can spoil you with them later on

sharing airpods while walking too (...and obviously having cigarettes after sex playing, making him feel very very very in love)

getting froyo while walking hand in hand so that neither of you can actually eat it

just a lot of walks, really

he takes hella pictures of you as well - really eager to show you off on his instagram <3

─ • PET NAMES:

‘darling’ ‘babe’ kinda guy

also swings his arm around your shoulder when he says it (the fuckboy agenda even more accentuated if he’s wearing a reverse snapback)

“awh come on, princess” is the way he (begs) asks for things

often call each other by name, and you’re not sure if to call him jaehyun or yoonho

he doesn’t care on the names as long as you still have him saved on your phone as ‘babe’

─ • WHILE ON TOUR:

he can’t keep his hands off his phone

he HAS to send you updates - if you ask for something, you receive it, always

cyber sex 105%

and one of the members always knocking on his hotel room door when you two are doing it

“yuta, kindly fuck off!”

besides that, johnny or yuta or haechan will always invade your video calls and steal the phone

(jaehyun gets a lil jelly when you spend more time talking to taeyong than him)

he’ll snatch the phone away and sarcastically smile at tae and then go to another room, usually the bathroom lmao

you guys can talk for hoursssssss but jaehyun can easily disappear for a week and it’s calm

because after all, he’s extremely busy and wants to do his best as an artist

video calls and update texts when he’s getting his hair and makeup done, constantly showing off his stage outfits to you :3

─ • ARGUING/MAKING UP:

not the type to get angry, really

jaehyun prefers to sit down with some coffee and calmly talk it out with you whilst stroking the back of your hand

he’ll only get riled up because you think he looks hot when he’s angry, and he knows that

and that means it leads to fucking, which always solves the issue

or he will get genuinely angry because you’ve genuinely gotten on his last nerve after a really long day, but that’s rare since he tries his best to keep his emotions under control

although his appearance is really cold, his heart breaks if he sees your eyes turn glossy, let alone see you cry

he’d instantly sigh - at himself, at the situation - and come over to hug you, and you’d burst to tears 

and that’s the third way you guys solve things

if you made him upset, you’d buy a few snacks and a bottle of wine before coming round to the dorms to see him with it

(and of course he’d forgive you)

going to bed angry happens on rare occasions too, but only if the reason was enough

but it’s always cuddles and hugs and apologised and a few tears when you’re making up, which is always welcome :)

─ • NSFW:

a dom, straight through his bones my guy

morning sex, midnight sex, kitchen sex, living room couch sex, jungwoo’s bed sex -- ya’ll have been around everywhere and with no shame

literally his sex drive is insane, and it’s very obvious

a true show off with his dancer hips, very likely to give you a semi-strip tease

risky as fuck too

not too into exhibitionism, but likes leaving barely-visible marks to show people you are his

expect helllaaaa hickeys and bites and bruises - you’re HIS

doesn’t degrade you unless you ask for it, and jaehyun does an amazing job hehe

pulling your hair and manhandling you is nearly always a must, plus a hand around your neck or fingers in your mouth

aftercare can be soft or not be there at all - depends on the mood

if it’s angry sex, he’ll probably shoot and scoot but he’ll always come back later for a cuddle

otherwise he’ll run the hot water and you shower together

sex in your household is DIRTY and MESSY as it should be.

buys you lingerie <3

[heartshyuck]

Pairing: Jisung x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, angst,slow burn, strangers to lovers au, first love, early 1900s au.

Synopsis: Lavenders symbolise purity, silence, devotion, serenity and grace. All endearing characteristics of the gorgeous boy, you met in the fields of purple.

Placed in the late 1930s , just before World War two starts, you flee from your family who are forcing you into a marriage. You lie low in a small village where you meet Jisung in a field of lavenders.

Word count: 23k lmao

Warnings: female reader, misogyny and very backwards ways of thinking, forced marriages, world war two + historical inaccuracy for progression of the plot, drinking

a/n: this is the longest fic i have ever written and honestly it was a mission, it took about a month to write and I am genuinely so proud of it and really happy with it. Please don't be scared by the length but when I say slow burn, I really mean it!

Your legs seem to be moving on their own, feet hitting the ground at a steady and fast pace, you don’t look back and can’t seem to see what lies ahead but still you run until your lungs burn, run until the bitter metallic taste is at the back of your throat where bile threatens to rise. You run until finally your legs collapse, knees hitting the ground, grazing them and it’s the slight sting of the sediment seeping into the cuts that stop you from passing out. You’re not sure how far you’ve ran or how long you’ve been running, you don’t know where you're running to but you have to escape. 

Escape the life they’ve laid out for you, the one they’ve planned without your input, you can’t live a life where everything is set out, where ’everything is expected and perfect. A life where you’d get married at 18 to a stranger who was of a worthy social class, attend formal lunches with the wives of your husband’s work colleagues and host dinner parties and occasionally large balls in a manor that always felt empty no matter how many paintings you bought to hang on the never ending amount of walls, no matter how many more bookshelves you tried to fit into one room, a place that you’ll always hate. Then to have children by 20, as many boys as possible of course to then not have any say in their upbringing and watch nurses tend to them, your husband educate them and then watch them get married, meet your grandchildren and when you’ve reached a respectable age, death will meet you in your sleep and you’ll be mourned and then forgotten. A life filled with regret, a constant numbness, no fulfilment and no meaning.

You saw your mum live that life, a smile that never quite reached her eyes, always plastered on at any given moment as she walked around the large hall with a glass of nothing but champagne in hand greeting the hundreds of guests that you were never able to comprehend how she managed to remember them all. She never spoke unless spoken to, never put in any input and always obeyed your father even when you could see the frustration bubble up inside her as her eyes glinted and her jaws tightened with the urge to say something.

She would buy gifts upon gifts and shower you in expensive luxuries, spoil you in riches as a form of love and yet it always held another meaning behind it. There was a slight sadness in her eyes as she passed a gift every birthday,christmas and any other reason she found, almost as if she was saying sorry for the life you were going to live and how she’d use these moments as blackmail for when that time came. You’d overhear her quiet sobs when you would sneak around the house late at night, read letters she received from someone you didn’t know and how they wished for her life to get better and for her to find happiness in a world where happiness didn’t exist. You saw your mother cry when your father died, eyes bloodshot red in fear rather than grief. Her life was now uncertain and that's when you decided that you couldn't live an empty life, regretting choices and wishing for death to come to you first.

Your father had always made sure that you would receive a proper education, one where you'd read hours upon hours of the finest English literature, works of science and learned of the past and present politics. He always said "a lady should know about the world around her but should never venture off on her own" you hated that phrase but it was better than what you overheard your friend's father saying to her when she asked for him to explain the concept of communism, "a women does not need to busy herself with politics, for your brain could not even begin to comprehend it" he announced with his nose high up in the air as if he had just said the most inquisitive statement known to man. It baffled you how one could even think that, let alone truly believe it enough to announce it so stupidly in the open, it was obvious that women were capable of understanding concepts like politics, maths and science for you were living proof.

You did better than your brother at grasping algebra, better at them with understanding Versalius's "De humani corporis fabrica" and it didn't take your friend long to understand Karl Marx's theory on communism once you explained it to her. It angered you that this was dismissed especially when your brother soon went off to universities for they had outgrown your father's enormous library and knowledge, there was no more he could teach them but there was still much to learn and you yearned to do the same but as you approached a suitable age for marriage, your everyday classes on Shakespearean English, Tudor monarchy, Greek mythology and Italian art had now been replaced with sewing, crochet, dining etiquette and the differences between napkins, white laced ones for formal lunches, gold embroidery for important dinners and regular silk for everyday use, you'd recite to your mother and the many maids who were on standby.

You've left that world now, left the bustling streets of industrialised London where a black smog always hung around the air and the smell of burnt rubber that stung your nose, you always hated both. Though you grew up in a large estate where there seemed to be a never ending amount of land on the outskirts of London, you never were allowed out to explore. Only allowed out with your mother to pick out fabrics in the markets, surrounded by military men that guarded the general's wife and daughter but now you were alone, no guards, no mother and no black smog to block your view of what lies ahead, only the sun and the ocean sky, clear of clouds as you breathe in fresh air that cleanses your lungs from the toxins that hang in the city air, surrounded by vibrant lavenders that arrive with a strong, sweet smell of pollen which you welcome to replace the bitter rubber your sense of smell only seems to know.

You close your eyes and bask in the warmth of late August , the sun gleaming down on you, rays striking against your skin with the wind between the strands of your hair, blowing the lavenders and they slightly tickle your arms. You’re not sure how long you were in your euphoric trance but you weren't ready to leave yet when the dark shadow was casted over you.

Your eyes lazily open and beauty lies ahead, the sun gleaming behind him, lights him on flames and he burns with a presence so strong you can see it as his aura swirls around you, engulfing you. His features,strong and yet his eyes are soft and even as he's turned away from the sun they sparkle infinitely as they hold the brightest stars, his stare pierces through you and it makes your gut clench as you feel small under his gaze but you don't turn away, daring him to continue staring down on you, well that's what you tell yourself as you can't help but get lost in the beauty of his eyes. His face wears a worried expression, his hand out forwards for you to take and place in his and it takes you a while to realise he's trying to help you up, even longer to comprehend the words that leave his mouth, as you just watch his cherry red lips move. You're dazed and for the first time you're not thinking straight, your legs won't move to carry you back up onto your feet but your hand instinctively moves towards him and your own mouth gapes open as it does, and again he repeats himself emphasising the words as his eyes widen further “are you feeling well?” you stare blankly at him, no response until you feel the burning sensation of his hand in yours. A heat that sends shocks through every nerve, it runs through your bloodstream lighting you on fire and as if you were burnt you pull back, shaking off the dizzy spell you rise to your feet, your body finally responding to your screaming brain. A sense of relief washes over you as the fear of losing your mind slowly seeps out as the haze in your mind clears, until your eyes meet his again. “Really y/n, not for a boy” you cry out in your head as your mind seems to be lost in awe looking at him.

You shuffle uncomfortably and it’s just now you realise how much of a mess you look as the embodiment of beauty’s eyes fall down. Your expensive dress torn up, what was once a full sangria and silver ball gown was now rags that wrapped around you with the bottom half missing as it stopped just above your knees, an uneven hem due to the rough ripping which took all of your strength, the white net underneath was visibly stained a brownish yellow, the cuts on your knee not being the only thing the dirt seeped into  but his eyes don’t even seem to stop there, they didn't even seem to notice, only meeting a piece of paper that lied on the floor. He reaches down for it, his eyebrows perk up slightly before handing it back to you.“You dropped this” he avoids eye contact, continuing to stare down, his hand abruptly extends out in front of him and he clears his throat, adding to the excruciating awkwardness between you and you wince at the sudden sound.

“Oh thank you..” you can hear your voice waver and crack and for the first time in your life, your voice isn’t confident, seems like a day full of firsts, your mother would’ve been proud if she saw you acting like this, like a lady she would have put it. Quiet, reserved but really it was just a suffocating stiffness that lingered in the air.

“Jisung” he completes your sentence, a small, shy smile appears on his face as his eyes look at everything but you, the letter still in his grasp he shakes his hand at you slightly urging you to take it. Your fingers brush past his ever so slightly as you take the letter back into your possession, a spark is sent through you and your fingers twitch, as if wanting more but you stop them from moving any further, your eyes slightly widen as you catch yourself falling so easily and if Jisung catches the weird expressions on your face, he chooses to ignore them not saying anything. “You are not from around here, are you?” His voice is light and airy as he speaks softly, as if you were made of glass and any harsh tone could break you, you can’t tell if it’s because of the immense awkwardness or because of the pity he must feel seeing you in such a state. You hope it’s the former and decide that’s what it is, when he starts playing with the edges of his white shirt.

“No I live in London” the words die as soon as they leave your mouth, you used to live in London, you don’t anymore. This only adds to Jisung’s awkwardness and it reminds you no matter how beautiful he is, he’s only just a boy who’s probably around your age. So you smile at him, letting out a small breathy laugh in hopes of lightening the mood, it works as he visibly unstiffens. “Used to” Jisung doesn’t press on the matter any further, doesn’t ask anymore questions, just nods. The unsettling atmosphere sets in once again and your incapability of standing in silence for more than a second, you clear your throat "do you know where this address is?" your tone light and airy, you sound almost clueless and it’s now you realise the true meaning behind every etiquette class, the role of the women is the domestic war, the war on power. For one to rise they must make powerful allies and that’s what this voice is for, to obtain the power of a man and trick them into helping you; so you're glad when Jisung takes the letter back into his grasp and examines the writing at the front, it’s worked.

“I’ll show you the way” and you nod with a slight smile as a thank you, Jisung leads the way and you follow soon behind, with his face no longer in my sight you can finally observe the rest of him. Judging by his height and build, seems like he comes from a well off family. Though there wasn’t a day you felt hungry, you weren’t blind to the outside world no matter how hard your parents tried to shelter you from it. The world is living off rations but the wealthy still have access to more, Jisung must have some sought of status or most likely works for a household with high status considering it seemed like he was running errands, why else would he be in a field full of lavenders and it’s only reinforced by the fine silk that flows as wind rushes past you. Somewhat similar to the material that makes up your gown, or what’s left of it, it’s an expensive material imported from colonies in the empire. He walks with no flaw and so you guess he didn’t serve in the war, meaning he has to be around your age; this new life is exciting and scary, you’re not sure what you want yet but you certainly wouldn’t mind if the boy in the lavender field stuck around for a while.

Jisung’s steps slowed and soon came to a stop outside a large estate, it was nowhere near as big as your parent's manor but comparing it to the small petite houses in the village you could just about see; it definitely was the biggest house in the village. You turned to thank Jisung, mouth slightly opened as the words were prepared to leave until you saw him pull out a key and a heat rose up your neck onto your face, in both slight embarrassment and excitement as you realised that Jisung must live here and your mouth couldn’t help but confirm your thoughts, “do you live here?” you blurted quickly with a slight lift in your tone, which you hope wasn’t too obvious in exposing your excitement.

His eyebrows rise, a small smile appears but he doesn’t answer your question, continuing to unlock the doors and allows you to step in first, a women who barely makes it past Jisung’s shoulders calls out to him, embracing him as she tightly wraps her arms around his waist, Jisung leans back slightly as a way of hoping to loosen her grip as his face scrunches up in pain as the struggle to breath sets in but there’s a constant smile on his face right until he peels her off. It’s then she punches him in the stomach, making him crouch down below her, holding onto his stomach.

“How many breaths must I waste in having to tell you to make sure you fulfill all your duties before you head to the fields'' she nags him and a smile is brought to your face at the violent display of affection, you guess he must be a part of the service team that works for the master of this house, which was exceptionally beautiful in the inside; much bigger than what it lets off from the outside, your eyes can’t help but linger elsewhere and observe the hidden beauty in all the small intricate designs. “Young master” the lady continues to punish him for his action and you head whips around at her words, she hasn’t even noticed you but Jisung’s eyes are constantly on you watching your expressions change as more as more information is being released to you, a smile appears on his face and at first it seems like a smirk but soon you notice the constant pink dust across his cheeks and you realise he’s embarrassed. There’s a strange feeling in your chest, a warmth that spreads and has you clutching your fists as you think at how adorable he is, your eyebrows furrow and you shake both the thoughts and the smile off.

Finally after what seems like hours of you staring at Jisung but in reality was no longer than a few seconds, the petite woman turns to you and acknowledges your presence,  her eyes widen in surprise and she rushes to your side. “Oh lord, my dear child are you okay?” she grabs your hands and ushers you down the hall into a secluded room that takes up a big portion of the ground floor of the house.

The kitchen, filled with plenty of workers,busy hands and food; she shouts at a maid to move a few things around and to make some space for you around the small table that holds vegetables and freshly cut meat. There’s the smell of spices that are definitely too exotic to be from these lands, parcels with German writing and several people cooking dishes you don’t recognise.

You're pushed down onto a small wooden chair that slightly rocks and it is by far the most uncomfortable place you’ve ever sat but you don’t dare complain even after the minutes pass and your legs begin to ache. The maids ran around you and even as you left that world behind, you still somehow ended up in the same position and then you realise it’s the fine silk you wear that sets you apart, the rows and rows of pearls around your neck and rings on your fingers. They don’t ask any questions, just wiping away at the dirt on your legs; the same women at the door pouring a type of alcohol over your cuts and it stings drawing out a hiss from you, “sorry” she whispers and blows slightly on the irritated skin. The kitchen quiets down and the other maids exit, leaving you and the same women who scolded Jisung, she didn’t bother to ask him any questions and quickly sent him away to carry on with the work he didn’t finish, she doesn’t ask you any questions either for it’s not her place to ask. 

She wraps bandages around your knees and your eyes wander around, landing on a picture of her with three little boys, you recognise the smallest to be Jisung, she catches your eyes and smiles “the masters, when they were little devils” she remarks making you and her both let out small laughs, “though they aren't much better now” she smiles fondly as she continues to wrap the bandages, you see love in her eyes and can tell that she raised them.

“The smallest is Jisung, am I correct?” you ask just to confirm your assumption, she nods and smiles, “i can tell by his awkwardness, it’s radiant even in pictures” you scoff and she laughs. "Who are the other two?" Your curiosity seemingly has no end.

"The tallest is master Jeno and the one in the middle is master Jaemin" she says as she cuts the bandage. You take note of their names and match it to their appearances though you assume they've probably changed quite a bit. The tallest, Jeno has crescent moons for eyes as his smile pushes them up, it's adorable. The middle, Jaemin also has a bright smile, probably the prettiest you’ve ever seen but Jisung still stands out the most to you, maybe it’s because you’ve seen how he looks now; the change is definitely visible, he’s grown much taller and into his sharp features. He's definitely handsome, epitome of beauty but by the way he timidly walks you’re not quite sure he knows it.

“Will these do, ma’am?” her hands hold onto a set of clean clothes and you only nod at her as you take the clothes from her hands, calloused and rough from years of labour. "Please just call me y/n" you tell her trying to remove your status and she only nods in return. "And what may I call you" you ask her.

"Daphne" she replies and you notice that she smiles at you, a full smile nothing quite like you've seen before and you'd like to think this what a smile should look like. Genuine. Instead of all the small smiles you recieved, the ones with hidden agendas and meanings, the ones because of who your father was, the one because of your status, name, title, money and a persuasion for your hand in marriage. So many smiles yet none truly considered one. God you hated that life.

"Now y/n let me show you to a room" she leads you out the room and you follow her upstairs, all the maids rushing back into the kitchen after you have left. She turns left and right and you find that the upstairs is far more complicated to navigate, with many different rooms. When she finally reaches a long corridor, she stops to point at the room that awaits at the end. "That will be your room ma'am" and before she even could finish her sentence properly, "y/n" you correct her and she only nods, giving you a soft smile as an apology."Please call for me if anything isn't to your liking" she says and just as she's about to step away, ready to leave you to get comfortable.

You call her back, "Daphne, can you please tell me who this is" you lift up the small blue letter that leads you here to this address, to finally put a name to the mysterious woman who only seemed to want the best for you and your mother. She takes the small letter from your grasp, examining the small font that's slowly fading due to the number of years it's collected dust. Her eyes widen as she reads the letter, her head snapping up to look at you, her lips parting slightly as if her jaw threatened to drop.

"My god" she says as she continues to read, shock written all over her face, "this is from the master's mother, dear" she tells you and you join her in shock as your jaw hangs a lot more obviously in shock. "She worked for your family when she was young" she continues to tell you and the ripples of shock continue to pulse through your body. Your mother and her are good friends from what you've gathered, reading all the letters you found. Yet your mother never even allowed you to mix classes, always telling you to stick with your own people, people who can pay for your time, literally. Yet here she was being friends with a woman considered below her, even considering sending you away to her. The hypocrisy is what shocked you the most, for you didn't think your mother could build relationships if it weren't for a social advantage.

"Can I meet her?" you ask, excited until you see sadness seep into her eyes, she looks down and she shuffles slightly. Her eyes glossy with tears threatening to fall and your own shoulders droop down and a frown is formed on your lips. "I'm sorry" you apologise but she shakes her head and wipes her eyes slightly.

"Don't be silly, you didn't know and it's better you found out through me anyways." She tells you and you're glad that you found out through her too, you don't think you would've been able to handle it coming from Jisung. "If you do not mind me, but when did she pass" you ask carefully as to not break her.

"Last May" she tells you and you hear sadness in her voice , as it slightly cracks and you release a deep sigh as to rid your body from the contagious mood. With that she hands the letter back into your hand and leaves you to wash up, "Dinner will be ready soon, please wash up" she urges you to go into the room.

You walk down the corridor, steps heavy as your heart grieves for Jisung and as you're reminded of your own father's death, though he planned on marrying you to a stranger you didn't love and never truly wanting you to live happily. You loved and still love him with every ounce of your being, all making grief an impossibly hard process. For your heart hurt and your mind could not comprehend why.  Your eyes stung with tears and your hands trembling with pain and still the mind was questioning why you felt sad. Then the guilt blooms, hovering above you, for this man raised you and cared for you and yet you question your grief as you sit by his deathbed. Yet you remind yourself that questioning your grief is better than not feeling any at all, you remember looking over towards your mother who wore black and instead of grieving her husband's death, she felt grief for her widow status that crushed her social status, for who was she without her husband.

So as you remove the many pearls and diamonds around your neck, gifted to you by your mother, you’re reminded why you left that life behind. You won’t be defined by your husband but by what you have achieved and for who you are. Yet you leave on the thin golden chain with a single pendant on your neck, as a reminder for where to come from and how far you’ve travelled. It was a gift from both your mother and father, the one gift you like to think wasn’t used as a symbol of your wealth to attract men in asking for your hand in marriage, the simplicity of this necklace led you to believe that this was a genuine gift of their love.

Changing out of your ball gown or the remainders of it, you feel anew. Stripping out of your old skin and into much comfortable and humble ones, you feel as if your new life is finally starting and though it’s far from what anyone would have wanted for your life to be like, it’s what you want. You’ve been here for just under an hour and instantly you're on cloud nine, floating to where only the sun is. The rays dancing on your skin and euphoria runs within your veins, this is life.  

You’re not sure how long you’ve been in a daze but soft knocks on the door is what awakens you and you're quick to open the door, not wanting to leave the person on the other side waiting but you’re met with a fist, that seems as if it malfunctions as it goes down by the side of the same person who seems to waking you out of all your dazes recently. Jisung stands there awkwardly, legs crossed and hands behind his back, he stutters as he says “dinner is...um.. It is awaiting” and with that he cuts himself off, rushing the words out of his mouth and quickly turns around, rushing downstairs.

You can only smile at him, how was someone allowed to be that cute. Following soon after him you enter into the dinning room, the smile on your face completely wiped off by the shock of two other men sitting around the table. Your back straightens as your body stiffens, by habit, you’ve been taught to look most confident when caught off guard.

“Sit here y/n” Daphne takes out the seat opposite of Jisung and next to a man you don’t know until he smiles your way, you recognise that smile and it’s still as pretty as it looks in the picture hanging in the kitchen. You smile back at him as you make your way by his side and take your seat.

“Hello, I’m Jaemin” he turns to you, dropping his fork and it clatters as it hits the plate, a beautiful smile across his face and you finding it comforting to think it hasn’t changed at all. He then lifts your hand to his lips, placing them softly on your knuckles all whilst keeping that damn smile held across his lips and staring straight into your soul, heat rises up your body slightly thrown back and he can see the shock in your eyes . Your well crafted facade cracking. His eyes are still boring into yours and you can’t move, stuck looking into his eyes, hands stuck to his until a kick. Coming from across the table, a force hits Jaemin’s shin causing him to yelp, instantly turning away from you and dropping your hand, you notice a small smile on Jisung’s face as he tries to conceal his laughter. You turn to look at where such a force came from, fierce strong features and an intimidating stare yet when he turns to you crescent moons appear, his aura changing immediately and the child in the portrait comes to life. “I’m Jeno” his voice is soft yet clear and all you can do is smile back before replying simply your name “Y/N” you tell him and he nods your way. 

Thinking that silence would now set in was foolish of you, for you should’ve guessed Jaemin isn’t the type to let there be silence and looking back now you could definitely tell he was itching to ask you so many questions. “I guess you have already met Jisung” he turns to you again and you only nod, looking up at the tall boy in front of you but he only stares at the soup in front of him but you know he senses your gaze as he twitches slightly in his seat, holding himself back from looking up and directly into your eyes. “He is not usually this quiet, he will warm up to you soon” Jaemin apologises on behalf of Jisung yet he grimaces at the words that leave Jaemin’s mouth but you smile at Jaemin ignoring Jisung’s expression.

The rest of dinner is filled with small talk between you and Jaemin, him asking you your favourite colour and trivial things like that, you discussed different authors and scriptors to which Jeno also chimed in on the conversation, both very impressed on your knowledge though you aren’t sure if they were impressed because you were a woman or genuinely impressed by the vast knowledge you had accumulated over the years spent in your father’s library however you brushed that thought aside, carrying on with the conversation, eyes drifting to Jisung at times who just sat there playing around with spoon, twisting it between his fingers instead of daring to look at you let alone to add to the conversation. Finally as Daphne takes away the plates, Jeno stands up dismissing himself from the table, “It was a pleasure to meet you Y/N, I hope you stay a while it was fun having you” he tells you with those same moons for eyes and you thank him for his hospitality “It was a great pleasure to meet you too, thank you for allowing me to stay” you say them at Jeno and Jaemin but they’re mainly directed to Jisung who brought you here.

“If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to tell me” Jaemin smiles, a hand on your shoulder as he stands next to where you sit and you only nod at him, he then comes to your ear, lips so close you feel them brush against the shell “Jisung will come around, I’m sorry if he’s making you feel uncomfortable” he apologises on his behalf for the second time that night and you wave him off with a smile. You could already tell that Jisung is shy and awkward but it’s not confused for hate or resentment, he simply doesn’t know how to act around a female and it’s clear the way he trips over his words and his very own legs but to be fair they are very long.

After everyone left the table and made their ways to their own rooms, you too made your way to bed. Laying there you think back to how far you’ve come, a few months ago this all would have been nothing but a dream and now it’s a reality and the euphoric feeling you imagine is everything and more. Freedom is worth anything is what you’ve learnt, the freedom to live your life the way you want. To be in control of all your decisions, living with the consequences but not a single shred of regret because you chose it and therefore it must have been for a reason. It’s new and exciting but so scary as the colony of butterflies bloom in your stomach, all the possibilities panning out in your head and for some reason as you drift off to sleep that night, you see Jisung in this future of yours.

The sun shined in through the sheer curtains of your room, sunlight dancing on your skin and the warmth made you feel alive as it tingled. The house was quiet and as you look out the window you realise that even the Sun has still yet to wake fully, still sleepy rising out of the horizon. The birds chirp and the lavender fields roar as the wind dances but there in the middle of it all is a figure. Jisung. Your eyes light up and your legs are quick to move, still in your nightgown, hair in a mess you rush to meet him there. The stairs creak as you step down them slowly, as if a child trying not to get caught, you try your best not to wake a soul.

Once out the door you run out towards the purple sea, the cold morning air refreshing to the midday humidity that sticks your clothes to your skin, instead the wind blows through you and you feel free as all boundaries and confinements are washed away but then it hits you, causing your legs to halt. Jisung barely knows you, how weird it would be for you to run up to him at the break of dawn? Very weird you decide as you slowly make your way back to the house, hoping to not make any noise that might draw his attention your way.

Stepping back inside, your back against the heavy wooden door you let out a deep sigh as your eyes fall closed in relief. Thank god he didn't see you, you think to yourself as you just stepped into the living room and your heart dropped down to your stomach, lungs stopping as you see him there. Jisung flicking through a book, his eyes come up to meet yours which are blown out in shock as you stare between him and looking back at the door, his lips fold into a line and you practically see the questions forming in his mind as he scratches the top of his head.

“Good Morning” you say with a smile but the embarrassment isn’t covered well, eyes everywhere but his. He softly replies with a mumble you’re unsure if he actually said anything back or if you just made it up but as your eyes land on the book in his hand and all thoughts are banished. You rush round the table, Jisung’s eyes wide now as it’s his turn to be shocked as you sit down beside him, taking the book out of his hand to have a look at the title. “Ah a classic” you say as your fingers run over the title and Jisung only nods at your words. “Is it your favorite Shakespearean play?” you ask in hopes of starting up conversation, all you get in return is nod of the head but that does nothing but urge you to talk again to fill the silence. “I like Hamlet but i think Macbeth is my favourite. The best character being Lady Macbeth, a strong ambitious women” you state and Jisung only laughs at this causing you to turn back to him.

“She had lost her mind” he laughs again and you smile

“Yes but as a woman she exerts power and it’s not really seen much in female characters in stories and real life” you tell him, explaining how a woman like her is admirable for her strong spirit.

“Yes but doesn’t Shakespear describe her to have a masculine soul that within a femine body, he is saying the ambition and power are masculine and therefore is she really a good embodiment for strong powerful females?” he argues back, questioning you and you can’t help but smile.

“But he uses her and the witches to plant the idea of murder in Macbeth’s head, he shows that they are powerful and can achieve what they want through manipulation which he explains to be a women’s method, they are in control of the men and it shows that if it weren’t for social confinments that they would pursue their ambitions for themselves, is Macbeth really the one in control?” you question him back and he smiles

“You win” he laughs and pride is struck through you, there’s no feeling quite similar to winning a debate but there's sadness at the bottom of your gut as you remember and miss your brothers who you would debate with until frustrations would burst out of you all and it leads to punches being thrown around.

“Let me guess, you hate Romeo and Juliet” he expects you to say yes and you know it’s because he probably thinks their love for each other is shallow but you can’t say you do.

“I don’t actually, aside from the whole love at first sight, I somewhat relate to it” you tell him eyes staring at him but unfocused as you think back to how your own life was in comparison to Juliet’s, “the being forced into something you don’t want and dying for your freedom, in this case her freedom was Romeo but i don’t think he was the only reason she chose to flee, I’d like to think ran away for herself and to allow herself her own choices in life” and then silence as Jisung took in your words, a perspective he had never really thought about, the story was always solely based on romance but then again he had never been put in the position of being forced into something so life changing such as marriage. Jisung couldn’t begin to comprehend how it felt to be used so obviously for social gain and being stripped and deprived of anything else that would hinder that.

 Sensing stiffness in the air, you had to do something about it, you finally got Jisung to actually have a conversation with you. “Still Macbeth is the best” and again you manage to get a laugh out of him. The sound is so sweet that angels come down to listen to it, the heavens split open at the first bubble of laughter that leaves his mouth and your eyes light up as your body tingles with pride for causing it, you’re addicted to it and you're itching to hear it again. You need to hear it again.

The moment is cut off though with the entrance of Jaemin and Jisung’s eyes avert to his brother greeting him a good morning as quietly as he did to you and Jaemin sleepy replies in a yawn, rubbing his eye  before sitting down opposite you. “Morning y/n” he greets you and you smile before greeting him back, turning back to Jisung to hopefully start up the conversation again. “So what else are you reading?” you ask and your eyes light up as you scan over the many books on the table before you.

“Oh y/n, you know how to read!” Jaemin jumps up, it wasn’t expected for someone to be literate to the extent they could read Shakespeare or any higher educational scriptures, unless of a high class, let alone a women but your father taught you all he could and then you leached off your brothers who were lucky enough to be sent to school but Jaemin had already been aware of this “Yes my father taught me” you tell him and he nods rapidly.

“Yes I know, I just thought you’d like to know that there’s a library upstairs if you ever get bored and want to read something” he tells you and excitement bubbles up inside you and the instinct to run up there and have a look at their book collection is something far harder to conceal then it should be and Jaemin laughs at your eagerness. “Jisung could use someone like you, he’s always trying to get away from his studies” and you hear Jisung let out a nervous laugh as you turn towards him, completely offended.

“You have the privilege of being able to study and you want to run away from it” you gasp and it causes Jaemin to laugh again but this wasn’t a laughing matter, you were completely serious. You would die to be in his position and something about the way Jisung holds an apologetic look makes you think he knows you would.

“I guess you’ll just have to be with him to help him study” Jaemin offers a solution and your eyes light up at this, the excitement running through your veins. You all know exactly what that means, yes it’s babysitting Jisung to make sure he gets all his work done but it also means you get to study whatever he’s learning and expand your knowledge as far as you can. Jisung seemed hesitant at first but after seeing how you visibly lit up at the suggestion he couldn’t help but agree to take you along with him when he had to study.

After breakfast Jisung led you up to the library, it was a large room filled from ceiling to floor with books, the sight alone made you dizzy with excitement, as you stepped in the beloved smell of old books filled your senses and your hands instantly rushed to run along the spines of every book. Your eyes sparkled as you looked over each one and Jisung watched as fascination completely engulfed you, he couldn’t stop watching as you pick out a book, couldn’t take his eyes off you as your eyes skimmed the blurb, he was mesmerized by what he wasn’t too sure of. His eyes didn’t seem to be able to move on from your figure until you turned to face him, time stood still as he watched more and more of the bright smile that was held across your face be revealed to him, you were beautiful. Once met with yours, his eyes scrambled away as they always do and he was quick to turn around and seat himself at the desk that sat in the centre of the room.

You too situated yourself on one of the more comfortable chairs, opposite to Jisung, you watched him begin to write, his head slanted and both arms splayed out on the table, he was the height of beauty and grace, the gods carved him from marble, so ethereal Aphrodite herself was jealous of his perfection, Apollo envied his grace. Though you were here to study, read as many books time allowed you, your eyes were distracted and little did you know they were distracting Jisung as well. Your gaze causes his breath to halt, his hands to sweat and pink dust to decorate his skin. You were dazed, stuck in a trace of his beauty and had to do something to get out of it, you clenched your hand; nails digging into your palms, pressing hard to wake you. You forced your head to the side, eyes looking at the bookshelf once again but your actions caused Jisung to look up, you can feel his stare on you and a shiver is sent through your spine, too scared to look back at him, afraid you’ll be pulled back into his trance.

“You have a lot of German books” you say, hoping your nervousness isn’t obvious and just to be sure you get up and head towards the books. You feel him staring at every step you take and you just pray you're the only one that can hear the loud thumping of your heart against your ribcage as a colony of butterflies bloom in your stomach. Fingers tracing over the German writing on the spine of each book, you try to distract yourself from him and try to compose yourself once again but then his voice echoes through the room, deep and smooth it sends shivers rippling through you.

“My father was stationed in Germany” he tells you as his eyes finally move away from your figure, a sense of relief washes over you as he continues to write once again. Yet you're still too nervous to turn around, too nervous to look at him, he who is the epitome of beauty.

“Still?” you ask, filling in the silence as you pull out another book, examining the words on the front cover but you instantly regret it as Jisung’s eyes fall back onto you.

“After the war he was assigned a higher position in the Rhineland and then after they were dismissed he was asked to stay along the French borders'' he tells you and once again your curiosity gets the best of you and you ask him another question. If you remember correctly, it’s been 10 years since the dismissal of the troops in the Rhineland.

“So when was the last time you saw him?” and instantly you regret the words that leave your mouth, your curse yourself a million times over. Jisung’s silence is all too overwhelming and your chest grows tighter as guilt takes over your body and just as you’re about to apologise, he answers

“He visited last year” Jisung simply states but you can hear the strain in his voice, the pain he’s tried his best to cover yet it seeps through and your glad you can’t see him right now because you couldn’t bare to see the sparkle in his eyes fade slightly as you remember the passing of his mother, that most probably led to his father returning back home. Silence settles again and your frozen by the shelves, the air so heavy it feels as if weights were holding you down, your mind hazy as you space out and as the common pattern goes, Jisung wakes you out of the depths of your mind with a voice as smooth as honey, it provides a comfort that sends shivers down your spine.  “He’ll be back soon though, he’s officially been discharged for retirement” he tells you as if he can feel your stiffness and out of the corner of your eye you see he’s giving you a small comforting smile, just to make the air seem a little lighter.

Time seems to fly past as you both sit there, Jisung’s hands busy writing away as he refers back to scriptures and your eyes busy as you read up on German politics and the structure of the Weimar constitution, that revolutionised democracy, the sun was now high in the sky as noon approached. You didn’t even notice until Jisung let out a loud yawn, arms above his head as he stretched and let out mumbles of how you should stop for today or at least take a break. You only nodded in response as you stretched your own limbs out, you had ended up curled up in the chair with your legs tucked away as you leaned into what you were reading. Jisung couldn't help but smile as he looked up occasionally to see your eyebrows furrowed as you read and he can't help the soft laugh from escaping his lips now as he watches you stretch. "And what is it that you find so funny?" You question him, eyes narrowed but your lips are clearly fighting back a smile and the sight of it flusters Jisung, stammering over his words ``N-Nothing" he answers and you let out a small smile to let him know you were only kidding.

As you both leave the room, you can't help but follow Jisung "and what is it you do after you are done studying?" Your question startled him as he visibly flinched at the sound of your voice and he mentally tells himself to get used to your unquenchable curiosity. "Except for picking lavenders" you tease. He lets out a soft laugh, the same sound you've been itching to hear since this morning.

"Nothing much" he tells as he makes his way down the stairs. Following him down, he makes his way towards the drawing room, sitting himself down in an old velvet chair, you place yourself beside him in a matching one. Your eyes peering over towards his hands that pull at needle and thread and you’re astounded by the sight in front of you, a male who knows how to sew is as rare as diamonds, as impressive as gold. Jisung continuously stuns you, his nimble fingers work diligently as they pull the thread to make patterns across the once plain cloth.

He can feel the burn of your stare on his hands, his chest tightens and his nerves are lit on fire, he is hyper aware of every wander of your eyes. His mind clouded by the mere thought of you watching him, his mind so fixated on impressing you, for a reason he’s not sure of, he doesn’t pay much attention to the needle any longer; a mistake he realises once the sharp point collides with the soft skin of his index, drawing blood. He flinches back away from the sharp contact as you leap forward to cup his hand in both of yours. Pressing your thumb against his finger, applying pressure in hopes of stopping the seeping blood, you slightly blow upon it to relieve it of any pain but Jisung can’t feel any pain not when your overwhelming heat rolls of you and radiates on to his skin, with every touch sparks fly on top of his skin fizzling underneath and seeping into his bloodstream. A fluttering blooms in his stomach and Jisung has no idea what this feeling is, it’s new and exciting. He craves it as his eyes drift to your worried face and once your eyes meet his, the emotion is buried by the overwhelming nervousness he feels engulfing him, his cheeks flush and his breath is caught in his throat. He pulls away from you and quickly stands “I’ll” he pauses thinking what to say next “I’ll get a bandage” he spits the words out as soon as his mind comes up with the excuse.

“I’ll get it, sit down” you stand up and ready to head towards any one of the maids that could help you but your steps are interrupted by Jisung’s voice once again.

“No it’s fine, I’ll get it” he blurts out, hand stopping you as he places in front of you, your head moving back on reflex, and with that Jisung runs out the room; feet moving fast as his left hand tightly wraps around his right index.

You sit there for what felt like forever waiting for Jisung’s return but in reality it was no more than 10 minutes, you were never one to hold patience. So you rose to your feet, eager to find the tall boy that let awkwardness roll off of him. Heading to the direction you saw Jisung turn, you make your way to the familiar kitchen, many busy bodies work their way around preparing for dinner as the clock is nearing sun fall. Your eyes wander the familiar walls with the same pictures you stared at upon the first day of your arrival, until they stopped on the figure they seeked. There he stood by the wooden table that just about reached his waist. He poured flour into a bowl, followed by two eggs and your eyes watched his every moment again and as if he could sense you, his rose to meet you once again. You smile because it just comes so naturally when with him and he smiles back, how could he not?

Inviting yourself in, you step closer towards Jisung, “A cook too” you say, you’re impressed and it’s evident in your voice.

“It’s a basic necessity” he says yet there’s a pink coating that dusts his cheeks, you know he’s flattered by your words despite his own.

“Basic necessity?” you question as you sit down, legs crossed, on an empty wooden chair just by where he stands “I guess I should learn” you state nonchalantly, not expecting the reaction it would provoke from Jisung. His head snaps to turn to you, his eyes searching your face for any indication that you were only pulling his leg, that this was only a joke but those indications never showed because this wasn't a joke, you were serious.

“What? Does a girl have to know how to cook?” you question him in a scoff, an eyebrow raised as you question his thoughts that control his expressions.

“No they don’t but I can be surprised, I know you are surprised I can” he rebuttals, calling out your hypocrisy but to this you only smile, you were glad Jisung could stand his own ground, it wouldn’t be fun otherwise.

“More impressed than surprised” you state, earning a smile from Jisung once again, you pat yourself on the back each time you manage to pull out that sweet, healing smile that seems to wash all worries away.

“Who’s to say I’m not impressed” he questions you once again and continues to mix the batter, adding more ingredients, again you smile at his words and Jisung feels his heart flutter at every stretch of your lips. He craves to see it more.

“Can you teach me?” your question catches him off guard and his eyebrows leap up into the soft brown hair that covers his forehead, “what I’m not totally hopeless, I’ve read a book on it before” you pout. Laughter rings through the air as Jisung has doubled over, unable to hold in the snorts and his breathing unsteadies as your words register in his head and this only makes your pout more prominent and your eyebrows knit together.

“I’m sorry” Jisung laughs out as his eyes fall onto your expression but he can’t hold it in, a few bubbles of laughter spilling out as he tries to calm his breaths, his eyes glossy as tears threaten to fall and you try to fight back your own laughter as the corners of your lips slightly perk up. “Did you say you read a book on cooking” he can’t even get through the sentence without laughing but he’s quick to reign it back in to allow you to answer.

“Yes” you say proudly, head still held high and Jisung bites down on his lips as the splutters of laughter threaten to escape again. “It’s obviously not the same thing but I’ve read basic methods” you state in defence.

“You make it sound like science” he scoffs at your words and you roll your eyes at his.

“Is it not, the mixing of substances to achieve a product. It sounds like alchemy to me” you explain your thought process and Jisung nods in agreement. Though you can tell he has something to say.

“Alright then, let us say cooking is science” he begins and you raise your eyebrow in questioning as to where this is leading “reading a method for an experiment is not the same as doing the experiment, there are things that are not accounted for, practical errors, measuring errors. The method tells you what to do but not how to do it” and before he can even finish his sentence properly you jump up, startling him slightly as he flinches back.

“And that is where you come in to teach me, guide me through the experiment” you plead but it sounds like he doesn’t really have an option, you’re practically telling him. He sighs but he has to give, how could he not when you're giving him your sweetest smile and when your eyes are practically begging him.

“I’m surprised you want to learn” he questions you “I thought you’d avoid anything that would have been forced upon you” he explains as he hands you an apron.

Your smile extends ear to ear as you take the apron from his hands, tying in behind your back you explain your sudden want to learn “Yes but I’m choosing to learn, this isn’t about adding another quality of a wife to my resume. This about extending my knowledge and as you said it is a basic necessity.”

Jisung only nods at your answer as he hands you another bowl, some ingredients already placed inside “follow after me” he says as he cracks an egg and pours it’s insides into the bowl and then turning to you he see you struggle, knocking the egg against the table softly you try and mimic his actions “Did the book not mention eggs?” he laughs and so does Daphne who observes close by as you send him glares that wish him death.

“Like this” he says as he places his hands over yours, guiding you but your eyes aren’t focused on the egg in your hold, you’re focused on Jisung who’s so close, too close. You feel his breath on the side of your neck and goosebumps arise on the surface of your skin as shivers are sent down your spine. The scent of cotton, jasmine and of course lavenders invade your senses and blur your mind. You can’t help but stare at Jisung, perfection personified as he concentrates on explaining how to assure no shell falls into the batter. Yet the words enter one ear and exit the other as you watch his lips move, your eyes stuck and it’s only when his eyes move up to meet yours does he also realise the little space between the two of you. His hands still holding onto yours, his eyes move down. Slowly they trace the features of your face, the bridge of your nose, the dip of your cupid’s bow and then they stop at your lips. His breathing halts, his heart skips beats as it dances in his chest and when he feels unbearable heat take over him he forces himself away from you. Quickly flinching back, his warmth leaves you, he clears his throat and turns from your gaze that still stares, he continues showing you what to do and no more words are exchanged as the heaviness in the air sets in.

Many weeks go by where you and Jisung spend all your mornings in the library, which had now become your favourite spot in the house, you look forward to picking up a new book every morning, look forward to watching Jisung so focused on his work, telling him all about what you’ve learnt and occasionally sparking up a debate but you also find yourself staring out the window wishing for the sun to only raise itself higher and higher as you wish for midday to arrive, to run away with Jisung down into the kitchen where he continues to teach you how to cook, some days he would take you into town to pick out fresh ingredients or some days into the drawing room where he attempts to teach you how to sow. After a few failed attempts, your patience wearing thin and much blood being drawn from your fingers, you give up on sewing however cooking is a much greater achievement and the outcome was worth every bit of it. The smile on Jisung’s face every time he’d taste something he’d liked, every time you remember a part of a recipe and every time he would sit down at the dinner table and Jeno or Jaemin would compliment your cooking. He felt immense pride in you and it fostered a love for cooking within you.

Other days when the weather prohibited it, Jisung would take you out into the lavender field. You’d sit in between the rows and rows of purple, picking at the prettiest ones.The sun high in the sky, august warmth embracing you as the wind blew over the roaring fields, dancing between your hair. “Look I learnt this from a book” you sit beside Jisung, his head snaps up and his attention is on your fingers now as they twirl the thin stems in and around each other to form a knot. “Purity, silence, devotion and grace are what a lavender symbolise” you begin to tell him “and you Jisung” you place the intertwined lavenders behind his ear, he’s visibly flustered as his cheeks turn hues of pink and it only urges you on “are exactly that” you whisper to him as if the lavenders had ears and could hear your confession, for these words are for Jisung’s only.

Jisung’s eyes widened as each word that was revealed to him, his heart thumping in his chest and his mind set on fire as chaos engulfed him. His thoughts scrambled and instantly his mind went to countless different possibilities as to what those words meant but looking up at you his mind cleared for he only saw beauty. The beauty your eyes held, as they sparkled infinitely each time they skimmed over the countless words on a book, the beauty your smile held when someone complimented your new found cooking skills, the beauty in your voice each time you called on him as the new found nickname “sungie” which caused his heart to melt, the beauty you held in the way you carried yourself never letting anyone put you down. Jisung adored you in every way, embers in his chest that grew into a flame, which spreads through his entirety burning all. A blissful pain sits at the core of him, aching, he longs for you but do you long for him? Is he but a fool to fall in love with a stranger, the stranger in the lavender fields. Is he a fool for falling in love with you? Is this even love? His eyes fixated on your lips, he examines the curve of them, the colour, their beauty. As if they were magnets he’s drawn to them, slowly inching himself forward, so close he could feel the warm air that made it past them.

So close and yet so far is he to you, the sweet smell of lavenders is dizzying, the sunlight burns your skin but against Jisung’s it only illuminates his, he glows. The urge to place your lips on top of his, eats away at your skin, the want crawls under and down your spine, shivers resonate throughout your body as he nears. The world falls away, the slight buzzing of bees fade, the tickles of the grass dissipate and you only feel Jisung. His presence, the brush of his knee against yours and the warmth that radiates off him. Your heart stops, you stop breathing, anticipating what’s about to happen next until suddenly Jisung’s head snaps to the right and reality comes flooding in as you hear both your names ringing and ripping through the air. “Jisung! Y/N!” Daphne shouts and Jisung jumps up answering for both of you “We’re coming!” Left completely stunned you sit there, mind in chaos as your embarrassment engulfs you. Your eyebrows furrowed, you think to yourself how you could allow for yourself to fall into his spell. What were you thinking? That’s the problem, around Jisung you can’t think, everything happens on pure instinct and desire. Then as if you had rewinded time, a shadow is casted over you, a hand is placed in front of you to take and as he did on that first day, he snaps you out of your daze. “Are you feeling well?” he asks in that same soft voice. Your hand twitches to move towards him and it takes everything in your power to stop it from falling into his grasp once again.

“Fine” it comes out much colder than you expected it to as you rise up to your feet on your own, his hand is left hanging awkwardly to which he slowly closes before placing it behind his head as he bites his bottom lip and your eyes can’t help but fall on them again, they which were so close and yet so far. “Let’s go” and this time you lead him out of the lavender field.

The walk back to the house is silent, the same awkwardness that hadn’t made an appearance in so long settles in the air, it’s thick and heavy and you can feel it weigh you down. Upon arriving back to the house, a carriage awaits outside, a military emblem on the back and your heart drops, eyes widen and your steps stop. “It couldn’t be” you let out at barely a whisper.

But the slightest sound from you is enough to have Jisung’s head snap up towards you, for he’s been waiting for you to make a sound, any sound to rid this atmosphere. "What is it?" He asks also hushed, his eyes follow yours and there it leads to the carriage, a smile rips through his face and he runs ahead.  Confused you rush your steps but the anxiety building up in your chest stays, the lump in your throat is still hard to swallow.

“Y/N!” Jaemin calls you whilst waving his hand eagerly, calling you to come quickly and as you step closer the constraining feeling in your chest dissipates as the figure that steps out of the carriage is an unknown one to you. You stand by Jaemin’s side, who radiates excitement off him and you can’t help but smile as the little boy in the picture is standing right before you, the same eager stance and pretty smile that even the sun envies. The man exists and immediately pulls Jeno into an embrace so tight and you swear you see Jeno’s eyes sparkle as tears threaten to fall. Jisung is much less subtle at concealing his tears, he sobs into the man’s shoulder and it’s only then you presume this is their father. Jisung’s eyes are red and he sniffles as his father let’s go of him and your heart clenches at his adorableness. Jaemin is as happy as ever, hugging his father as tight as ever, eyes closed in pure bliss. You’re smiling like a fool as the heartwarming scene unfolds in front of you, so busy looking at the happy smiles and the stray few tears that are still running down Jisung’s cheeks you don’t notice the new acquaintance step in front of you until he clears his throat and you jump to meet his gaze.

“You must be Y/N” he smiles extending his hand and you place yours in it, shaking it. “I’ve heard a lot about you in all my son’s letters” your eyes widen and your turn to the three boy, Jaemin with that damn smirk on his face, Jisung avoiding your eyes and as always finding his shoes much more interesting, thank god for Jeno who offers a comforting smile assuring it’s all good things. “Sir you’ve raised three fine men, who have all welcomed me” you bow your head in thanks and he smiles once again.

“I couldn’t possible take any credit for it, it’s all thanks to their mother and Daphne of course” he turns from you to her and she pulls him into an embrace “Thank you for looking after them” he says barely audible but Daphne catches it and just as softly replies “but of course”. As everyone heads inside you wait until Jisung is by your side to start heading in as well, “Crybaby” you whisper with a teasing smile you nudge him with your elbow, he scoffs as he’s wiping his tear stained cheeks but he can’t help smile back at you.

Seated around the dining table, as always by Jaemin’s side and opposite Jisung, their father sits at the head of the table and more food than ever is being served tonight in celebration. You’re much more quiet tonight despite Jaemin continuously making sure you feel involved in the conversation, you’re eternally grateful for him. “So Y/N, why did you leave home?” their father asks so casually it almost goes unnoticed by the boys but Jisung almost chokes on his water, Jeno’s eyes widen and Jaemin almost immediately tries to shut down the conversation “Father” he gives him a pointed look, jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowed as he shakes his head.

“Jaemin, it's okay" you smile towards him, "freedom i suppose sir" you answer the question and Jisung's father squints his eyes, as he lets out a hum in acknowledgement of your answer. "Even after all your family has done for you?" He continues to question "you come from the family my late wife used to work under, am I correct?" And you simply nod "yes I do".

"The late General's daughter" he states "I wonder if he's turning in his grave at this moment" Jisung's grip on his silverware tightens and you notice his knuckles turn white and once again Jaemin's stare is begging his father to stop as Jeno looks over to see how affected you are by his cruel words. You don't falter though, you know what you've done can seem selfish but it was necessary "I'm sure he is" you laugh out "but he's always known I'm never one to listen" you continue to pick away at the food on your plate and you can feel all there gazes falls onto you, as you look up Jisung’s eye bore into yours as he mouths a soft “sorry” to you and you smile back at him shaking your head.

“I assume you’ve run from marriage” Jisung’s father starts up conversation again and you only nod as an answer “Are you against marriage?” he asks and it’s if he wants tears to fall from your eyes as he keeps pushing where he knows it’ll hurt. “Of course not but I would like to pursue a higher education or experience the world first” you explain, still keeping your calm.

“You think a woman is capable of doing such things?” he asks again and it’s this question that really makes your skin crawl and your jaw tighten. Questioning your methods of gaining freedom is one thing but looking down on all women and claiming them unable is one you can’t stand for. “I think we are very capable, I think the suffragettes have made that very clear and sir didn’t you work with the Weimar Government, they were the first government to allow women to vote I would think their initiative would have rubbed off on you” and he only smiles at your answer.

“I was stationed in Germany and worked under the Weimar Government up until their collapse, you’re correct” he begins to tell you “I have to tell you that I agree with your view, I’ve seen much that women are capable of doing” he says and your eyes widen at his words “I think what you did was brave and admirable, my three boys could learn from you, I hope you can lend Jisung some of your courage” he smiles at you and your jaw still hangs as does everyone else's around the table and as you look up to find pink hues invading Jisung’s cheeks once again, if you didn’t know any better you would have thought it were always like that regardless. You nod at their father before answering back “I think I’m the one who’s learning a lot form Jisung sir” and the shades of pink darken

The atmosphere had lightened again somewhat although the topic on war was not a light one at all, as their father expressed his worry about sending his three sons off to war and how in ruins the country would be again, worry sat in your chest. Jeno and Jaemin are strong all physically, emotionally and mentally but Jisung is the sweet boy who wouldn’t hurt a bee. “What do you think of the current situation of our country Y/N'' Jeno taking you out of your thoughts, you head snaps up to him “I think the war is unavoidable despite our economic stance, Germany has already invaded Czechoslovakia and it’s only time before they invade Poland meaning our involvement in the war is definite whether we want it or not'' the table falls silent as they process your words and it’s not until Jisung’s father begins to nod and expand on your thoughts but you zone out as you watch Jisung fiddle with the knotted lavenders you had gifted him and your lips can’t help but curve.

The next morning a book awaited you on your vanity, a scarlet red cover with gold print, you ran your fingers along. “Sonnets'' it read and as you flicked open to the first page, familiar handwriting appeared “A collection of my favourite - Jisung” a smile spread across your face as it usually did when your thoughts ran to Jisung. You sat down flicking to the first poem “Sonnet 18” a giggle escaped your mouth and like a schoolgirl already aware of the beauty Shakespear's arguably most famous sonnet holds, the giddy feeling of butterflies blooming caused your heartbeat to quicken and a heat to rise.

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:

Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And too often is his gold complexion dimm’d:

Annotations surround the poem as Jisung highlights and picks out certain lines. The second line is underlined and next to it he writes “Though you are lovely, temperate is definitely up for debate” he teases and you scoff at his words. You read on and lines four and five are underlined and his annotation reads “The eye of heaven is you who shines gloriously throughout the day and yet too often you allow yourself to dim. Don’t.”

And every fair from fair sometimes declines,

By chance or natures changing course untrimm’d;

By thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;

“You are my eternal summer, your beauty is one that isn’t possible to vanish, it’s infinite unlike summer which collapses in winter” you read on as lines nine and ten are underlined.

Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou growest:

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

The the final annotation as the last three lines are highlighted, Jisung says “Your beauty shall remain eternal so long as my heart beats, so long as i live and breathe, so long as my eyes can see your beauty, I only seem to think of you now as i read this poem and in this poem the memory of you shall live on” you heart beats erratically in your chest, you’re breathless as his words halt your breathing. Forgetting such simple acts as thinking and even breathing seem to be a regular side effect in the presence of Jisung, just the mere thought of him. Your palms grow sweaty, your heart clenches reading over the words again and again, you pinch yourself. For this moment, seems like nothing but a dream, your heads in the cloud, you're living in the heavens. The feeling is suffocating, your own throat is closing in on you, the pain in your chest spreads like wildfire, your whole body aches with admiration for him. Yet the constant question looms over your head, what does he really mean by this? Is his feeling the same as yours? Or is he portraying the beautiful friendship you both have built over the weeks? One thing is sure and it’s that you can’t ruin that, can’t let the heavy air seep in once again and weigh you down.

The days folded out as normal, Jisung’s presence still as overwhelming as ever but you couldn’t help but find serenity in it, he was soft spoken yet his silence speaks the loudest for him, his grace and beauty as  were one to be envied by all but you were nothing more than grateful for being able to witness it day after day, it were as if he had walked out of your dreams. The stolen glances, lingering stares as he smiled or laughed, he stole your heart and he wasn’t even aware it was his anyways. Sitting opposite him, you stare not caring if he or anyone catches you for your far past the point of holding any shame and allowing your eyes to do as they please.

"I have something to announce" Jeno suddenly speaks up, breaking the silence, all eyes turn to him and he audibly gulps. You’ve never seen him so nervous, fiddling with his silverware you almost mistook him for Jisung. He clears his voice before speaking, taking in a deep breath he prepares himself for the words that are about to leave him, “I am to marry” he says quickly waiting for a response, an outroar, a gasp and maybe a few tears but none of them come.

“About time don’t you think” Jaemin laughs out causing the rest of the table to release small giggles at Jeno’s expense, “You have been all giddy and heart eyes at that girl in the village since we were all but five- OW" Jaemin's face twists in pain, hands rushing to his shin as he's cut off by a harsh kick. Jisung and you burst into laughter not being able to hold it in any longer.

"And what are you two laughing at" Jeno punches at Jisung’s shoulder, immediately causing him to halt his laughter as he rubs his shoulder “Well brother, it’s not like it is a secret. Even Y/N knows” and you giggle again as Jisung enlightens Jeno on his obvious swooning.

“What?” Jeno’s eyes widen as he turns to you and you can’t help but laugh even more. “We visited the village and your eyes were stuck, Jeno you walked straight into Jisung” you burst out laughing as you recall the memory. Once the laughter, the teasing, the amount of huffs that leave Jeno quiet down your left with comfort, a bliss that you’ve never felt before, a smile that just won’t leave your face. It’s a beautiful feeling and you wish to memorise it for if numbness overtakes your body, you can relive this exact moment of the solace you found in those around this table.

“Is that three out of the four of us in love?” Jaemin smirks as he lifts his glass to his lips, looking around the table, Jeno scoffs at his words but confusion is written all over you and Jisung. Did Jaemin know that your heart only seems to beat for Jisung? How did he know? Who was the other person? Was it Jaemin or Jisung? If Jisung, who did he love? The questions ran through your mind in circles and it only spewed more questions to follow, your head was spinning stuck in the spiral of curiosity, but curiosity always killed the cat.

But cats have 8 other lives right? That is what you had decided later that night, sat beside Jisung on the stone wall, letting curiosity take over you - slightly. Your legs dangled, swinging them back and forth, whilst Jisung’s gaze was set on the crashing waves of purple as the moon pulled them back and forth; yours were stuck on him. The moonlight illuminated, captured his beauty in a way the sun couldn’t, it seemed the goddess of the moon saw greater beauty in Jisung than Apollo could ever begin to understand.

“I could not fail to realise that sonnet 23 was not amongst your favourite” your eyes darting out towards the fields as his turn to you, “It’s one of my favourites” you tell him.

“I’m sorry to disappoint but do you not think it’s a bit cliche” he laughs and your eyebrows shoot up in slight disbelief “and sonnet 18 is not” you scoff, finally meeting his eyes.

“Sonnet 18 is beautiful” he argues and he swings into you, nudging you slightly, rolling your eyes you nudge him back “Sonnet 23 is just as or dare I say more” and he smiles slightly, eyes turning back to the night sky, the clouds running over the moon and Jisung is left amongst the stars. “How so?” he dares to question.

“It is, for one, far more romantic” you begin “the thought of one loving you with so much passion, so unconditionally that it can not even be professed by words yet the love they feel is so strong they need an escape, to tell that person what they can not truly express fully, to let them show you how much they love you. To hear with eyes as Shakespear so beautifully put it” you nudge him again and he looks down at you, a smile as radiant as the sun,moon and stars combined graces you and again Jisung has stolen your heart in complete silence

“Yet what I love about Sonnet 18 is that it is not too romantic, that the love that Shakespear professes can be for a lover or a friend, he speaks of all the imperfections of summer yet still he loves it, he describes the person he loves as someone who defies all the imperfections for in his eyes they are perfect imperfections when it comes to them” he nudges you back with a slight giggle but you can’t return his happiness for you have been stung as his words seep into your mind.

“Oh for a friend” you whisper, he hears your words but not the sadness behind them as he continues with that bright smile “and that is why it was so perfect to give to you” his words are daggers to the heart, piercing through, it shatters and the fine pieces scatter throughout you and the sadness seeps through every fibre, cell and atom of your body.

“Are you feeling well?”he asks and worry sweeps the smile off his face as he finds the glossiness of your eyes, the slight redness as well as the unusual silence from you. “Fine” you answer jumping off the stone wall, “Just tired” you say looking out to the goddess of the moon one last time, unable to turn and look at the art she admired most. “Goodnight Jisung” you say as you turn back to the house, not sparing him a glance for he stole your heart and then broke it. 

Though that night your tears mixed with moonlight until Morpheus took you to dream and then the next morning tears mixed with sunlight as Apollo pulled his golden chariot, with swollen eyes and a throbbing head you promised this wouldn’t affect the beautiful friendship that had bloomed. Jisung may not love you the way you would like but he still loved you, as a friend. The mere thought of the word stung, another aching rippled through you and your bones quacked.

Many dusks and dawns had passed and since,you’ve managed to create some distance between you and Jisung but as once said distance makes the heart grow fonder and you curse whoever uttered such truth. For every stolen glance and accidental touch seemed to make your dormant heart beat with every intent of being heard as it rose to your throat, suffocating you.

Jeno’s upcoming wedding being the greatest of all excuses to run away from the burning presence of Jisung, for you would flee to the village with Daphne and pick out materials, help Jeno’s fiance pick flowers, handwrite invitations with Jeno and accompany Jaemin on whatever errands he had been sent to do. No one questioned how you decided to spend your time, other than of course Jaemin who couldn’t help but let his curiosity lead the words that spewed out of him, to which you told him he’d regret someday.

“Just tell me Y/N” he groans as he carries the large basket of apples “Why spend your time with me instead of Jisung” he continues to pursue the answers you deny him of.

“Maybe because, and I dare to say, I like your company more” you pinch his cheek and laugh at the pout that forms on his face “What answer are you looking for Jaems, what would you have me say?”

“I want you to say you are helplessly in love with my brother who is just as in love with you however both of you are too busy quoting literature that is up for interpretation rather than professing your feelings because you lack the courage to do so” you freeze at his words and he also comes to a halt, turning towards you his eyes, sympathetic “you both are as obvious as Jeno” he lets out a small laugh.

“He does not love me Jaemin” your voice stern as you try to convince one who believes in fairytales, your steps quicken and he chases after you “and how exactly do you know?” he questions, curiosity endless.

“He said so, he said he gifted me Sonnet 18 as a friend.” You scoff at the absurd word that causes so much pain and you say it with spite everytime.

“Like I said he lacks courage and as my father said you, Y/N, can help him gain it” he tells you, eyes wide with hope and you admire Jaemin for being a hopeless romantic and you only hope he meets someone who completely fulfills his ideology of love.

“I don’t think I possess such courage anymore” you break it to him for Jisung has broken your heart once, how can you have the courage to allow him the chance to do it again.

Jeno’s wedding arrived much sooner than expected, as the weeks rushed past in much haste as the many busy bodies prepared for the beautiful evening and as hard as you tried to separate yourself from Jisung, the universe liked to disrupt those plans. To the place it all started, so close yet so far apart, you stood rows away from Jisung picking only the prettiest lavenders as per Jeno’s request. The air was thick and heavy despite the August breeze that ran through the fields, an unfamiliar heaviness sat between you two for even as strangers you were far more comfortable. Maybe it’s due to the curiosity you held back then, for the boy in the lavender field, beauty that wasn’t done justice by the word but now that you know him, adore him and are in love with him and now that your heart belongs to him but his not to yours. There’s a void left for the seeping awkwardness to fill, an uneasiness sat in your gut and every moment was excruciating to bare as your heart pains at every beat that belongs to him who does not seem to care.

“Lavenders wouldn’t be my first pick for a wedding” he speaks up first, the silence with you was something he wasn’t used to, you always made sure to replace it with continuous talking and contagious laughter and now that you weren’t, it didn’t feel right to him but you only nod in response not entertaining his thoughts any further. Jisung preferred silence, his thoughts more coherent, his emotions understandable, the silence was comfortable and not overwhelming but with you he couldn’t stand it, mind always wondering what you were thinking, what you were feeling, he needed to know. 

So he carries on speaking, “If it were up to me, Irises and carnations” he expects an interrogation, your endless curiosity asking why that would be his pick but it never comes. So he continues speaking, giving you the answer you didn’t ask for “Irises mean faith, fitting for a lifelong vow” he laughs as he looks over to you stoic expression, cutting off his soft laughter he again begins to speak “and carnation, white ones that symbolise-”

“Eternal love” you cut him off, turning to him, finally speaking yet your tone is monotonous and there is no emotion evident on your face. There’s slight fear in him and it rises, a lump forming in his throat that he can’t quite seem to swallow “Exactly” he choked out, voice strained.

You let out a breath that seemed to be weighing you down, you couldn’t let him continue talking about the meaning behind the flowers, your heart couldn’t take it for aching stops momentarily and instead it flutters and swoons across your chest but then reality hit and it shatters all over again, the pain shooting through your bloodstream.

“Are you feeling well?” he asks as he always does and you answer “Fine” as you always do, even though you both know it’s a lie but he doesn’t push any further as always. The longing feeling for you to look at him and spill all your worries and feelings to him is so great but he doesn’t want to push you to nor does he expect you to trust him with that vulnerability when he himself does not have the courage to do the same back to you.

“I’m going to leave after Jeno’s wedding” you announce working up the little courage you have left, if you say it out loud then you’ll have to follow through. “Thank you for everything” you brace yourself to meet his eyes once more as you turn. “What? Why?” concern so evident in the way his voice wavers, eye glossed over as tears threaten to fall.

“I left to seek my own happiness in life, to make a mark on this Earth yet instead I ran from relying on my family to relying on you and yours” again your voice is completely void of emotions, yet every part of your body was screaming. Longing for the warmth, solace and peace you had found here and it’s at this point you curse yourself for memorising that bliss for all you will do is miss it.

“Did you not feel happiness here?” he screams out, harsher than he expected as he voice comes out rough and broken and you stand there eyes wide for this was the first time the pure,silent and serene boy that stands in the lavender fields has allowed so much emotion to course through his body and you can tell by the way he shakes, the way he struggles to breath and the shock that immediately washed over him upon hearing his own voice raised “I’m sorry” he mumbles in a heavy exhale.

“Thank you for everything Jisung” you offer him a smile as you leave, avoiding his question, leaving him standing alone in the lavender fields.

Leaving the basket of lavenders with Jeno, you rush up the stairs and only when behind the safety of your door do you allow the tears to come streaming down your face, sobs escaping and you hold your mouth to conceal them as you take deep shaky breaths to steady your breathing. Your whole body aches and shakes as it mours the end of your stay, the tears cloud your vision and as you lay down to ease the heartbeat in your head, you cry yourself into a slumber. Even as the dreams swirl around you, pulling you into the unconscious, reality never truly slips away, it haunts you as even in the world you build you can’t stray away from it. The ability to dream of anything further isn’t a possibility, he doesn’t love you and that’s the reality. Why bother dreaming of something that isn’t meant to be. Yet you can’t help but dream of him. His eyes, his smile, his warmth, the pink dust that always decorates his cheeks, his laugh and his existence.

In your days you are held hostage by the daydreams, the what ifs. It felt like you had loved him in every lifetime, you wonder if any had got it right? Had any been loved by him? Your body lies stiff, falling in and out of consciousness but your mind never leaves him. Days go by but time becomes nothing but a construct, eating only becomes a chore.

“Y/N?” a soft voice calls as the door narrows open, a steady stream of gold shining in. You don't move, your head feeling like it's weighed down but you can easily identify the soft voice that speaks. "I brought you something to eat" the footsteps near you, the heavy thuds vibrating through your head. Your eyes peek open to meet Jaemin who crouches down beside you. He moves the few stray strands of hair behind your ear, noticing the wet glimmer of your cheeks he wipes away the tears that stain them.

"What's wrong?" He whispers as if any harsher tone would break you, as if you weren't already broken. You shake your head as your only reply, voice too weak and broken to speak up. You would love to talk to Jaemin, to spill all your worries and heartache but this is a pain too painful to speak of. His hands hold onto your cheeks wiping away any of the stray tears that still fall. His warmth is comforting but it only makes you yearn for Jisung’s more.

Jaemin doesn't leave you that day, he sits by your side in silence. He holds your hand and wipes away your tears, he doesn't attempt to mend your heart, he just sits beside you as it cries out the pain. "It will heal, it will mend itself" he whispers to you as you drift off into the unconscious once again.

It’s the constant knocking at your door that drags you out of the depths of your slumber, pulling you back, the light that streams in as the sun is about to set and you wonder how long you have slept, what time it was and what day it is. Then another knock calls your attention from the window and Daphne steps in “Y/N” she says and her voice is high in surprise as she examines the puffy redness around your eyes. “I was expecting you to be already awake, it is almost time to head to the wedding” she chooses to ignore the wet stains on your silk pillow, choosing to bite her tongue. You choose not to answer her back afraid your voice was raspy and would break, you crawl towards the edge of the bed and swing your legs over as you make your way to the chair that neatly holds your gown for the night, the night that has finally arrived,your last night.

You can see her face change, each one expressing the internal turmoil within her as she questions whether or not to say something. “Just say it Daphne '' you sigh out in a weak smile as you change into the many layers that need to be placed under the gown.

“Ah well” she begins nervously as she fiddles with her loose strings of her apron, she stutters and stumbles over her words but you’ve been taught patience by Jisung as he’d do the same.You smile at the memory of him stuttering, blush across his cheeks as he got nervous causing him to stumble over his words more. You loved seeing him so flustered, loved seeing him progressively become so comfortable around you he never stuttered, became so confident and articulate it was as if he became another person but the same dust of pink never faded but the more you think of him the more it pains and your heart swells as it aches. “You see y/n” she finally spits out as if she had been wrestling the words “If this is your last night, would you not want to leave with a loving memory?” she asks nervously. 

“So it seems word has travelled” you let out a small laugh as you turn to her to pull the strings of your gown and as her hands move to tie knots she laughs as well “Nothing gets past me” and her nervousness visibly dissipates. No more words are exchanged as she helps you ready for tonight, no more words are needed as she sees you slip into the depths of your mind, thinking of what your next act is.

As she places the same pearl necklace you wore the day you came here around your neck, clasping it, she finally turns to leave and through the mirror you see her hesitate but she turns back around a smile across her face “It was a pleasure to meet you ma’am” she says with teary eyes “Y/N” you correct her as you rise quickly, wrapping your arms tightly around her and from the corner of your eye you see Jisung standing at the end of the hallway, witnessing the goodbye he run back down stairs. You saw the glossiness of his eyes and though you would love to leave as a happy memory, would he allow it?

You nervously make your way to the drawing room, there he sits in a black suit, his hair neatly styled yet it looks not much different to everyday. He should not look this good but he does because he is the epitome of beauty. He is beauty personified. You let out a deep breath before you step into his line of view, preparing yourself for whatever is to come next. “Jisung” you call softly but he refuses to look up at you, you can hear him sniffle and his breathing is heavy and you almost could trick yourself into believing he loved you the way you loved him. You sit beside him and take his hand in yours, rubbing small soothing circles by the knuckle of his thumb you attempt to speak, “I am leaving” you choke out,the words are stuck in your throat and he rips his hands away from yours, turning completely with his back towards you. You sigh once again, “Let’s me leave with good memory” you beg, voice small and shaky. This was not the y/n Jisung first met, not the y/n he knows now and definitely not the y/n he fell in love with for you were never one to speak so quietly, yet here you are broken. So he puts away his own selfishness to feel sadness, anger or whatever pulsing emotion that runs course throughout his body.

He turns back to you, eyes glossy and a pout on his lips as he raises a long string of black silk. “I cannot tie it” his voice breaks slightly and you can’t help but smile at his cuteness. You take the silk from his hand and wrap it against his neck, slowly weaving it in and out of itself, you form a knot. “Learn this from a book?” he teases and you can’t help but scoff and roll your eyes. Falling back to where you were with Jisung was never hard, falling in love with him all over again was never hard. “my father taught me” you say as you pull the silk slightly causing his head to jolt forward. A smile perks at his lips as he lets out air from his nose as a form of laughter and you don't realise the lack of space between you two until you feel it brush against your skin and you near closer, eyes drawn to his lips. Your breathing stops and your heart sporadically jumps around in your chest, beating louder than ever.

Jisung’s eyes are closed as he waits for your lips to be placed upon his but they never come and his eyes jump open at the sound of Jaemin’s voice, your warmth escaping him. So close and yet so far, his eyes land on you who’s now moved as far as possible from him. “Y/N, do you know how to tie a tie?” he walks in looking down at the balck silk he holds around his neck but he cuts himself off as his eyes rise to find you and Jisung awkwardly sitting beside each other. “Oh am I interrupting?” he asks in a chuckle as he raises an eyebrow and you shoot up onto your feet, making your way towards him “No not at all” you wave your arms as if it would convince Jaemin. You grab onto both ends of the silk strand, repeating the same movements as earlier and looking down at the silk you can practically feel Jaemin’s smile that beams from above. You weave the string in and out of itself and pull tight around his neck causing Jaemin’s head to pull back “OW '' he huffs out in a pout, you pat down his tie and with a smile as gleaming as his was a mere moments ago, you apologise. 

“Oh y/n you know how to tie a tie, thank god” Jeno rushes in with his father soon after him both holding the same black silk around their neck “Does nobody in this house know how to tie a tie” you laugh in disbelief. “Our mother used to do them,” Jeno whispers as your hands make their way up to form the same knot you’ve made twice already. He thanks you silently with a sweet smile, those crescent moons you adore showing up.You move on to their father, tying his tie neatly and much more carefully than the rest. “Thank you for everything, y/n” he bows his head to you and you whisper “It’s nothing” shyly. “It’s been a pleasure having you become a part of our family” he continues and his words are like a stake to your heart, the same aching reappearing as nothing fails to remind you of your departure.

“Thank you for welcoming me bu-t'' you're cut off instantly 

“no buts y/n, you are family” Jeno interrupts and if it was anyone else you don’t think those words would have held such meaning for Jeno is a silent lover, showing his affection through sweet smiles, concerned looks and kind gestures; he was never one for words of affirmation. So you smile, ignoring the tears that prick at your eyes, ignoring the deep breaths that leave Jisung and the solemn sadness on Jaemin’s face.

“We need to go” Jaemin looks down at his pocket watch, as always sensing the tension in the room and ready to dissipate it, he urges everyone out the door and as you’re about to step out, a warmth engulfs you as Jisung catches your hand in his. Turning back you are met with a smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes that hold a sense of sadness as they glimmer in the setting sun.

Hours after the sun had sunk into the horizon, the moon well into its reign, music rang through the center of town as everyone gathered to celebrate the new chapter of Jeno’s life. A ceremony so beautiful, you were sure you witnessed true love when Jeno’s eyes set on his bride that walked the altar.

After all the tears, it was finally time for the bubbling of champagne to intoxicate your bloodstream and to allow the music to take control of every swayed movement of your body. Standing under the yellow dimmed lights, Jisung glew a gold you didn’t know existed but easily was the prettiest you had ever seen. His cheekbones high and lips painted pink, golden flute in hand and silk tie loosened you could easily say he was the prettiest here, outshining all. For Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty lived through him, simple acts such as greeting guests left you stunned. Eyes chasing every movement of his, from the way his hands moved as he spoke, to the way he smiled once seeing an old friend, the way he laughed softly in conversation and when his eyes travelled back to you when he thought you weren't looking.

And to pull you out of that trance was none other than Jaemin, “Would you and Jisung stop exchanging lover eyes and dance already” he whispers as he places himself beside you, you scoff at his words and slightly nudge him with your elbow.

“Are you so bored that your eyes follow mine?” you question and his simple and instant “Yes” make your eyes roll as far as possible but you can’t help but smile. “When will you find your own love story? This is one hopeless”

“So when were you planning to tell me you were leaving after tonight” his words don’t come as a surprise, nothing goes past Jaemin but it still doesn’t fail to make your every movement halt as guilt overtakes you, turning to him you begin to explain “I was going to tell you as soon as the night was over, it was unexpected I promise” you say softly.

“I don’t suppose i can change your mind in any way?” he asks hopefully, still with the knowledge he wouldn’t be able to. You shake your head slowly, unable to say the words that will so obviously ruin the both of you but Jaemin is never one to sit in sadness, always being his priority to make you feel better. 

“Would you allow me this first dance?” he bows down asking for your hand and with that you place yours in his, placing a soft kiss to the knuckles he pulls you into the center of the floor. Legs moving to the beat, Jaemin’s hand on your waist he guides you through the waltz, breaths heaving and smiles plastered on your face he bends down once more to place a kiss on your knuckles as the music dies down declaring the end of the dance, a sad smile spreads across his face and he whispers “Goodbye” against your skin, looking up to meet your eyes who hold nothing but despair. Yet the hardest is to come when you turn and automatically your eyes find Jisungs, who just happened to be looking your way.

You offer him a smile before heading towards him “And why are you not dancing, I’m sure plenty of girls are just about dying to be your first dance” you tease him and he laughs along with you, hands rising they scratch the back of his neck as he prepares to confess to you “I actually do not know how to dance” he spits out fast hoping you don't catch his words but you do. Eyes widening and mouth agape, you let out a gasp 

“Jisung you do not know how to-” you're cut off by his hand on your mouth as he looks around to see if anyone has heard the sentence about to leave you. 

“Quietly, I think the whole of London can hear you” he says in a whisper still looking around. Removing his hand, you roll your eyes at his antics.

“Let me teach you” you whisper back and he turns to you, eyebrow raised as he assesses how good of a dancer you could be.

“I am not entirely sure, who did you learn from? A book?” he teases, still completely in character until you shove him and his laughter comes spilling out “You used the joke once already” you roll your eyes 

“I was taught by trainers actually, do you forget I was to be wed” you scoff at his assumption and rise to your feet, hand extended for Jisung to take. He stares at you, watches the way the light bounces off your skin causing you to glow, your eyes glimmer, smile bright and the confidence and charm you carry in inexplicably attractive as you stand under the moon, offering to be Jisung’s first dance and it’s here he decides you’ll be his last.

The moment his hand is in yours, you drag him straight to the crowd, the music is quick to start and you waste no time in giving out instructions. “Place your hand on my waist” you order

“Your what?” Jisung’s eyes are wide as he cluelessly asks

“My waist” you repeat again, emphasizing each word and you drag his hand up and place it on your waist for yourself. Then putting your own hand on his shoulder, you pull him a little closer. “Just follow my lead” you reassure him as you witness the petrified look on his face.

“Left foot forward” you say to him as you move yours back, “Right foot forward, feet together” you continue to guide him through the dance as you spin around the room, ‘Now left foot back, right foot back, now feet together” you repeat the sequined dance around the room, music thumping through your body and you convince yourself it’s that you feel and not the heavy beats of your heart as the space between you and Jisung seems to close more and more. As he leans in so close you can feel the air that leaves him, fanning over you. You look up and his eyes are set on you, only adoration is held in them and Jisung thinks it’s now or never as he tries to fully close the gap between you two, to place his lips on yours but then you let go, head turning to the right “Now we switch you” you say as you land into another man's arms, repeating the same steps you did with Jisung moments ago with another. So close and yet so far is all Jisung can think whilst his eyes watch you twirl about the room.

Once finally back in his arms, the music seizes and he’s forced to remove himself from you. You can’t help but smile at him as he looks down at you, breathing heavily with a flush of pink to his cheeks yet he seems to be gleaming in the buzzing sensation of a waltz. The air is heavy with sweat and alcohol, the room is filled with chatter and loud laughs but that all falls away once you look at Jisung. So you dance to every song as if you were the only two people to exist, for this was your last night and this was your last dance.

Endless glasses of champagne later your dancing feet carry you outside, the cool summer nights air washes over you, clearing your mind of the foggy mist of alcohol yet the coolness of the moonlight is overwhelmed by the warmth of Jisung’s presence as he stumbles next to you, tripping over his own legs he lands in your arms. “I think you drank a little too much” you laugh down at him.

“No I am perfectly fine” He quickly stabilizes himself, straightening out his clothes and you can only smile as he shakes off your support. “If you say so” you turn to the night sky, looking up to the moon who you haven't had the courage to face since. The wind rushing past you, crickets croaking and the stars blazing across the sky, your legs about to give way as the alcohol circulates your body, you find purchase on a stone bridge, Jisung following soon after you. The water trickles down under you, the calming sound washes over you and the solace you so missed seems to make an appearance once again as you allow yourself to surrender to Jisung’s presence. Silence sits between the two of you but it’s not the one you wish to fill, insead you choose to let it engulf you not wanting words to taint this moment. Your last moment.

Jisung however doesn’t think he can hold it in anymore, the liquid courage is just about enough for him to declare his roaring love for you, a flame that won’t go out no matter how far he pushes the idea of you away. He wasn’t sure if this was love but the ache in his chest all these days proved it could be nothing but love. The longing to be by your side as you found happiness, found your own way into this world and to watch you become who you want, is unbearably strong. This is his only chance before the goddess of the moon takes you away with her, for when the sun rises, you'll set into nothing but a memory. So here Jisung turns to you, staring at your beautifully carved features, moonlight highlighting every perfection; deep breaths he calms his nerves. Adrenaline rushing through every nerve, he finally builds the courage and out the words he never knew would feel so good to pronounce “Y/N I love you” it comes out in a whisper but by the way your eyes widen, breathing halts, Jisung knows you’ve heard.

“Jisung you are drunk” you laugh off

“Drunk lies are sober truths” he says in all seriousness, his eyes are begging for yours to turn to him and so you give in to their silent cry. “I’ve loved you from the moment I met you, for I thought soulmates were nothing but a fairytale until mine spoke to me upon laying eyes on you. I denied my feelings towards you, for I didn’t know if it was love I felt for you or not but I do. Love, adoration, affection and warmth. The moon only looks beautiful with you under it, the sun only shines with you beside me.” he professes and the sincerity in his voice strucks you, for every fiber of your being longs for these exact words but can you believe him?

He inches closer, his scent and warmth trapping you in a trance and you can’t find it in yourself to back away as he moves towards your lips, his breath mixing with your own, the flush off his cheeks that are illuminated by the moonlight. Everything is perfect except he’s drunk. Though your heart screams for you to close the gap, place your lips on his and kiss him until he’s breathless, your head scream the opposite, move back, wait till the morning when his head is in the right place, don’t allow him to make a mistake that’ll hurt you and when were you ever one to not listen to your mind. “You are drunk”  you whisper to him, so close he can almost feel your lips move against his, flinching back, ignoring the cry of your heart that desires nothing more than to feel Jisung’s confession. Jisung’s eyes open to find you pulled away, for once again he was so close yet so far.

“We should return” you jump up, step fastening back to the crowds of people who were still dancing and laughing. Jisung’s hurried footsteps rush beside you, his hand holding onto your wrist, he pulls you into him. Arms wrapping around you so tight, he’s afraid you’ll pull away and that he’ll lose you. You already pulled away from him once, you’re not sure you have the power in you to do it a second; so you let him hold you. His face hidden into the crook of your neck, he speaks into your skin 

“Love for you fades the exhausting hours till Kingdom come, for even then my soul only speaks of you, my heart only beats for you. Let me love and let me give, for both are infinite” he confesses once again.

Your arms instantly wrap around his figure, you allow your love to course through your body to his, you hope he can feel your heartbeat, the steady pace that keeps you alive for his existence, and him only. For without him what was the purpose of living? You stand there under the moonlight, red strings wrapped around you, Eros’s arrow shot through you, and hold onto each other.

Walking back, hand in hand, smiling like fools. The air smells sweeter, the world seems brighter as your heart skips a beat every now and then “In all honesty” Jisung breaks the blissful silence, his voice deep and smooth and it sends shivers down and through you just as it did the first day. Once your eyes are on him, giving him your undivided attention he continues “I lacked the courage to gift you Sonnet 23 but I wanted to” he tells you “Promise” he makes sure you believe his words and you can’t help but smile.

“You still lack courage, this is the alcohol’s courage” you tease him, swinging your arms back and forth as you walk on. He giggles at your comment because he knows it’s true, if it wasn’t for the liquid courage he doesn’t think he would have been able to confess to you but he’s glad he has because if he hadn’t, would he ever get the chance to?

“So will you stay?” he asks, voice hopeful and eyes pleading as he pouts, in hope it would convince you but you didn’t need anymore convincing, for if you want to follow happiness and happiness just so happens to follow Jisung, who were you to seek for more elsewhere. “Perhaps” a smirk makes it way up your lips as you give him vague answers. “I will take that as a yes” he laughs out, holding onto your hand a little bit tighter, to ensure you really weren’t going anywhere.

Love is a complex feeling, one that causes an unbearable amount of pain; as if your chest had been slit open, heart pulled out and crushed. An aching pain resonates throughout your whole body, endless tears and you don’t think you can live to see another sunrise yet it’s euphoric in every way. From the tingling sensation at just the sight of your love, the shivers, the heat that takes over, the trance you left in as their words hypnotise you, the warmth of their presence and sweet scent. In Jisung you found peace,solace,serenity and love.

“Jaemin” Jisung calls out as he can just about make him out in the distance “Y/N said she has decided to stay” he shouts out like a child, excited he’s jumping up and down and you find yourself smiling and laughing again, for with Jisung it’s the only thing you seem to be able to do. Yet as you draw closer to Jaemin and the guests he happens to be wishing a farewell too, your smile and heart both drop.

“Y/N” one of the two men calls out as your figure becomes more apparent to them, disbelief held in their voice as they call out to you. Jisung and Jaemin eyebrows shot up in shock, eyes widening as they wonder how you are acquainted.

“How do you know our y/n?” Jaemin asks, always being the first one to dissolve the awkward silences, the men are taken aback clearly by the way their jaws hang slightly.

“She is our sister” the taller stutters out, your blood rushes cold as the words leave his lips, what would happen now? Would they allow you to just roam free? You thought for a second before you mentally scolded yourself, they would never allow that. They will force you back. “I am not returning” you spit out, not beating around the bush, you get straight to the point.

“But you must, mother is left worried" he tries to grab onto your wrist but you move back not allowing him to get a hold on you.

"Worried for me? Or that the season is almost finished?" You question him and guilt is evident in his eyes as your question takes him aback.

"Don't be silly" your younger brother tries to calm you, "we just want you home" he tries to convince you.

"I am perfectly fine on my own" you stand your ground even though you see the frustration in your older brother, creep closer and closer to the surface "I have no intention of returning" you continue to press forward.

"Do you not feel shame, what would father have to say?" He dares ask. Shame? The word linger in your head for you to wonder if your brother truly knows the definition of the word or were all those years at Oxford a waste. For how had this brought shame upon you or your father, how does a want for purpose,happiness and freedom lead to shame?

"For if father was alive, this problem wouldn't have occurred. He would have listened" you hissed, jaw tight as you teeth clenched and the words slipped out through the small cracks.

"How naive of you to think'' he laughs and finally latches onto your wrist, holding tightly he's prepared to drag you to the carriage until another holds you back. Jisung’s hand holds onto your arm, pulling you back, looking back you don’t think you have never seen such fierce eyes. A red you never thought you’d see engulf Jisung, he’s not prepared to let you go. "Let go" your brother's voice is stern as he clenches his jaw yet Jisung doesn't budge.

"Jisung this isn't our place" Jaemin whispers, defeat in his voice and he is right. What say do they have in this? If you don’t even have a choice, who are they to decide but then again you are certain a man’s opinion will most definitely be heard by your brother over your own anyday. “Let go of her,” Jisung threatened.

Your brother couldn’t help but scoff at his words “She belongs to me, I am her blood and she holds mine and my father’s name” his grip tightening around your wrist as he pulls you towards him once more, your eyebrows furrow and you wince in slight pain, Jaemin instinctively flinches forward before stopping himself, getting involved will just make it worse he reminds himself. You smile at him weakly in hopes it can put him at ease but as both your arms are being held hostage, both cuffs tightening as the seconds go by not one daring to back down.

“She doesn’t belong to anyone” Jisung spits back “She is free to do as she pleases and she chooses to stay here” he continuously argues in hope of changing his mind , yet what can he possibly do? Now that they have found you, what is left for you to do? They will not let you live on how you wish, they will not leave without you and even if they didn’t take you tonight, they will come back for you. It’ll only cause chaos, you will again become a burden on someone else. “You do not own her” he repeats.

The words you so despise form on your tongue and as you open your mouth to say them, Jisung’s eye beg you not to. He knows what's to come and even as every ounce of your being screams and cries as the words are spoken, you let them leave you regardless. “Let go Jisung” voice weak, shaking.

“But you said you would stay” his voice shaky, encased in sadness, his grip weakens but his hold stays, unable to let you go once he’s finally got you but you were always a dream to him, one that never seemed quite real and though you mixed with reality, almost coming true, he was but a fool to believe you could be his.

“I said maybe” your voice quiet, breaking a promise you didn’t make, breaking his heart and breaking yours that was just put back together.

“She said for you to let go” Your brother interrupts, a smirk on his face that Jaemin has a dying need to punch off but he retains himself. Jisung lets go of you hesitantly, his hand still lingering onto the skin of your forearm and you take in his touch one last time. He watches you leave, tears falling from his eyes for you were so close yet so far.

The tears from that night, months ago, have yet still to dry for every living and breathing moment is lived in agony, longing turning into nothing but numbness as it engulfed your being and became you. Days and nights merged, smiles are a forgotten act for it felt awkward even attempting. The large manor is silent, it perfectly resembles the void in your chest. You live as a ghost, sleepless nights and empty days your mind always occupied with the thought of Jisung.

His eyes that held the universe, his warmth the sun envied, his smile were solace was found, his laughter that was contagious, voice that was soothing, beauty unmatched, the gods were both proud and envious of their greatest creation. The years went by and yet the image of his is as clear as ever, preserved in your memories, you live on in your dreams that can’t escape reality. So close and yet so far from each other.

You sit in the empty rooms, walls bare for the art never compared to Jisung’s beauty, you never found art that could express the definition of art as well as Jisung did. Each time looking at Jisung you found a new feature to adore, hidden beauties that appeared when the moonlight hit his skin, features highlighted by the golden rays of the sun. No art seemed to do that, no art seemed worthy of showcasing.

Your library remains empty, clearing it out of all books, you couldn't bear to look at one again. For everyone of them taunted you with the memory of him. The way he used to sit in the center of the room, arms sprawled out on the desk, his head so close to the paper as he would write. Your eyes would follow every one of his movements, so distracted you would forget about the heavy book in your hand. Yet now with a book in hand, your eyes search for distraction. Yearning to find him, to make the pink blush, that you so missed, appear as he couldn't take your stare any longer. The adrenaline of when his eyes suddenly come up to meet yours, the scrambling of his when you catched his stare. You missed it all.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer's day” the performer begins, as you sit around the large table for dinner. Your every movement halts as the words leave his mouth, your mind runs back to the lavender fields, into the small room at the back of the house, finding the scarlet red book. “Thou art more lovely and more temperate” he continues on but no you are not temperate. Your heart aches, your eyes sting and a wave of nausea over takes you. Your fist smash into the table, legs standing up, you push the heavy velvet chair back

“Stop!” you shout, voice hoarse and broken, you can’t help the tears that roll down your cheek. You can’t help the way your whole body shakes upon hearing those words, you can’t help but miss him. The whole room stares at you, a heavy silence settles, the only sounds are your whimpers as you sob in your palms, falling to your knees. Their eyes lingered, terrified. No one dared to speak to you first, let alone the events of the night. Afraid they would cause you to break down once more but they failed to see it was they, who stole happiness away from you, stole freedom and ripped your heart out of your chest. You wandered aimlessly through the many halls, staring out of windows you wanted the sun rise and fall, watched the goddess of the moon shine down on the earth yet neither held the beauty they did when Jisung was by your side.

Summer has come to find you once again, those who say time heals have never been broken. Time doesn’t heal. Time forgets, the world may move on but you do not, you cannot share the same ecstasy the birds sing, the happiness in summer flowers, For now you hate flowers, you hate how their beauty and meaning are only reminders of your longing.

“How about lavenders for the drawing room ma’am, I’m told they are your favourite” the maid asks, her mission to make you smile, to rid you of the constant tear stained cheeks; nothing but a failure is awaiting her. Just the mere thought of lavenders causes your skin to crawl, for nothing symbolises him more than the vibrant violet. Yet you turn to her, a weak smile and you nod because maybe the scent will help ease your heart and just maybe you’ll find serenity in them once more.

Though days were long, summer left in a hurry for now autumn was here once more. The leaves had already begun to brown and the vase filled with lavenders, which sat upon the grand piano, had wilted now - their scent and comfort decaying with them.

And soon followed the day, the world knew would soon be coming, had arrived upon us, September 1st 1939:

“we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.” you read Winston Churchill’s words in the papers, war has arrived. The heavy ring sits on your finger as you stare out the window reminiscing the day you were watching the carriage be prepared and though it is your two brothers and the Earl’s son leaving you can’t help but let your mind imagine Jeno,Jaemin and Jisung, For the war will take them further away from you, to barren land filled with death, guns pointed at them, bombs dropping at anytime. Though the war has imprisoned many,taken from others, you thank it’s timing for it has liberated you momentarily. The Earl’s son waved goodbye to you and though you raise your hand to send him off to a war you’re not sure he’ll return from, you have no intention of calling him your fiance whilst he is gone and if he returns you have no intention of calling him your husband. You pity him in that memory.

“Ma’am” a voice calls out to you, you don’t recognise who it is for every voice sounds the same but regardless it pulls you back to the world of the present for the war was already well into its sixth year. Though your body is here, your heart and soul never left Jisung for he had stolen that long ago. You turn to find a small envelope, blue like the ones that found you happiness. “To y/n'' the handwriting is familiar but to you all letters were painted the way Jisung’s hand did, for your eyes can simply not forget but it is what the letter contained that brought a soul into your lifeless shell.

As an unperfect actor on the stage

Who with his fear is put beside his part,

Sonnet 23 with annotations is what your eyes fall upon, the second line underlined it reads: “With great courage I put aside this fear to confess to you such words that I cannot express on my own.” Your hand runs over the lines, the smell of gunpowder but there is a scent that you so long for. The scent of lavender still lingers onto the parchment which ripples under your clutch. .

Or some fierce thing replete with too much rage,

Whose strength’s abundance weakens his own heart;

The next lines highlighted “For this feeling was just as strong as rage yet it was where I found peace, my heart weakened at the sight of you and from that moment onwards it belonged to you.” A smile naturally took over you, the flutter in your chest an ecstatic feeling you forgot.

So I for fear of trust forget to say

The perfect ceremony of love’s rite,

And in mine own love’s strength seem to decay,

O’ercharged with burden of mine own love’s might.

O, let my books be then the eloquence

And dumb presagers of my speaking breast,

Who plead for love and look for recompense

More than that tongue that more hath more expressed.

O, learn to read what silent love hath writ.

To hear with eyes belongs to love’s fine wit.

“Know that I cannot express the words my soul speaks, for we are worlds apart so allow the empty words of the English language, attempt to convey my love. Look not at my words only but at the way the fool I make in your presence for my mind is clouded with you, heart beats for you and soul yearns for you. For you are my sonnet 18 as a friend and sonnet 23 as a lover.” Tears fall unnoticed, for you hear his voice so clear in your head, for six years you waited for a single word from him and here he has gifted you a sonnet between lovers, so how could you possibly love someone else.

“Yours forever Jisung, the boy who waits in the lavender field”. You sob as you read those words, a fresh new wave of tears staining the parchment as the longing to be in his warmth and comfort is washed upon you as if it were that day you were forced away from him. Opening a wound that never could fully heal.

Waiting is a virtue of love, it proves your love, for it feels equivalent to death and yet you still wait but there is a point in time where you can wait no longer, where you must stop waiting and strive for love now. At this exact moment, it is time. For you are ready to give up the world to run to Jisung, to find the beauty in the moon once more, to find solace in the sweet smell of lavenders once more, to find the warmth of the sun once more, to find happiness once more. For happiness was the only reason worth living.

You're not sure how long you’ve been running, legs moving on their own, you don’t look back you’ve learnt never to look back, never return. As the metallic taste at the back of your throat rises, oxygen running thin and your legs almost collapse from exhaustion. It’s as if you jumped out of the past, gown torn at the train station, you’re left in rags but it’s different this time. For before you ran to find your happiness and now you run to where happiness lies. In a field of lavenders.

Every fiber of your being pulses with the need to see him, hear him, touch him. To feel his warmth once more, to have his voice send serenity through you, to see his eyes again and to smell the sweet scent that lingers around him. You’re not sure what souls are made of but whatever it is yours and his are the same. For your heart yearns for him, desperate, it aches every living second of everyday without him. For a life without love, is a life unlived.

The rows and rows of purple are in sight and there in the middle of it all stands him, waiting. Jisung doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is, he can tell by your footsteps, your breath, your scent and the sudden ease he feels. You are there. Yet he does anyways for the memory of you has haunted him for the past 6 years, on the battlefield, in the barracks, he would only see you, only hear you but he couldn’t touch you; for you were merely a dream mixing with reality.

But here you are standing in front of him, Your expensive dress torn up, now rags that wrapped around you with the bottom half missing. He smiles as nostalgia washes over him, was this real or were you just a fragmented memory. Was he simply remembering happier times, a time where you were in his grasp. “Jisung” you call out, voice soft and unsure, a hand reaching out for his own, to make sure what you saw in front of you wasn’t a hallucination, a cruel trick your mind played on you. Slowly a warmth overtook your hand, sparks sent through your skin and into your bloodstream and the beating of your heart returned. Tears formed but never fell because one of you needs to be strong, Jisung sobbed as he fell into your embrace, gripping onto you. “Never leave again” he chokes out, breathing heavy and uneven. “Promise me” he whispers into your hair.

Pulling him back to face you, his eyes are red and puffy yet they burn with passion, his cheeks stained with tears but the pink dust is always still there, you smile at him closing the gap and finally placing your lips on his. The taste of salty tears invade your mouth and your lips move against his and he kisses you back, placing his hand on your cheek he pulls you closer, thumb brushing over the top of your cheekbone. Your knees weaken and you grip at his shirt, desperately clinging to him as your knuckles turn white, as he kisses you with passion overflowing with each soft movement, sincere and full of the love he can't express through words. The scent of lavender is overwhelming and intoxicating, you press yourself against him. Your lungs burn as he kisses you breathless, sparks flying into your bloodstream and unbearable heat takes over whilst your lips move as one. Pulling away, chests heaving as you pull in as you regain all the oxygen you exchange, Jisung places his forehead on yours, his cheeks pink and in between breaths you whisper against his lips “I promise” and again he pulls you in, lips crashing on yours.

This is your first love, it may not be your last but it will be the one you remember most, for it taught you how to love, it taught you the struggles of love and it taught you to feel loved. In search of fulfillment and meaning, you weren't looking for love but it found you and soon after fulfillment and meaning came in the form of a boy in a lavender field.

© (jisungiest) 2021. All Rights Reserved.

[holden-caulfield]

Mere Acquaintances

main masterlist

SUMMARY: “Our siblings are in an arranged marriage and so we see each other at awkward social gatherings between our two kingdoms” AU

WARNINGS: there might be a swearword?

WORD COUNT: 1439

A/N: uhmmm this is my entry for @ladyvesuvia 's writing challenge... hope you like it (i suck at writing royal aus because i can't make it 'royal' lmao)

How exciting, you thought to yourself the first time your brother announced his betrothal to the daughter of the adjacent kingdom's king. You knew he was completely enthralled by her and you heard stories from your very own brother about how the two of them got along just perfectly.

You had never been favorable to arranged marriages, but, once you saw that sparkle in your brother's eyes, you couldn't have been happier for him.

How exciting, that was until you had to actually meet the princess. She was lovely, exactly what you wished for your brother, but her brother was a completely different story.

You had met him few times actually, just a few awkward encounters with the young man whenever you were both forced to attend your parents' gatherings.

To get along, they said. You tried your best to appear friendly and open, that much could not be said about Draco Malfoy, the royal pain in the ass.

He never once looked at you unless it was with an air of superiority. You exchanged three words in total since you met him and those three, brief words were "So, how-"

"No."

You decided not to conversate with him anymore, not that you cared; the man was so full of himself he probably did not need you to entertain him since he had his own company.

Royal parties were spent in silence: you made polite conversation whenever required, but didn't despise the quietness that created once you were left alone for it did help you ponder.

In those moments, your favoured object of interest was him. You were not watching him because you liked him, that be clear. You were analyzing him: he was arrogant, yes, but there must have been something more; no one can be that shallow.

He looked just like any prince should have looked like; regal. But with a touch of stiff excellence that made him always stand out. He looked displaced among his peers, almost as if deeply inside he wished not to be a part of it.

He looked just the same that day, blank expression on his elegant features, carried around with such poise you wondered why everyone's eyes weren't directed towards him.

He caught your eye, an action that made heat rise to your cheeks and that made your gaze quickly settle on something else. That something turned out to be the ballroom, full of couples dancing and cheerily talking with one another.

You noticed your brother, waltzing with her betrothed. He looked happy, genuinely happy; that smile was one you had not seen on his face since you were children and-

"Lady y/n." the sudden voice reaching your ears made you jump slightly, you were not expecting such a deep baritone to greet you.

You turned around to find him in front of you. You narrowed your eyes, unsure of the situation you had just witnessed, unsure of the reason why he had approached you.

"Would you join me for a dance?" you couldn't believe your ears, they must have been deceiving you.

His expression was the same as always, you couldn't decipher whether the proposal he had just made was truthful or just pure amusement for him to see the disheveled state his simple question had put you in.

He offered you his hand and your first instinct was obviously to refuse it, what kind of gentleman ignores someone all the time and then asks said them to dance out of the blue?

But there was something inside of you that wanted to dance with him, that wanted to take his sophisticated hand and let it guide you towards the ballroom.

"We shouldn't." you uttered and his hand fell promptly, an emotion unknown to you crossed his face but he quickly shrugged it off. "It's our siblings' ball, we shouldn't steal their spotlight."

"By dancing?" he asked, slightly chuckling.

"Yes, by dancing." you tried to sound convincing, but you could sense he had seen right through you.

You returned your gaze to the ballroom, a feeling of regret harbouring in your mind.

You felt him come closer, his body heat slowly engulfing you, but you refused to turn towards him.

"They won't mind, princess." his voice was low and enchanting as if he was performing some kind of magic spell upon you. And it was working.

"They will."

"They won't." he said offering his hand again, his lips breaths away from the shell of your ear and you felt chills running down your spine at the words spoken so closely in such a public space, under everyone's eyes. "They are too busy contemplating the happy couple to care about anything else."

You gave him a sideways glance; a terrible mistake because his eyes were now piercing yours, making it impossible to refuse the proposal.

You took his hand, entwining your fingers with his, and it felt so natural, so instinctive, as if it were an everyday procedure.

He led you among the other couples, the stares the two of you received were of no importance as he held your hand tightly in his, as if he was scared you could have regretted the action.

"Wait, wait! What are you doing?" you suddenly stopped, common sense finding its way back in your brain but it was not enough for you to leave his hand.

He furrowed his brows, creasing his ethereal face in question.

"Why now? Why are you suddenly so interested in me?" your face earnest, your eyes pleaded for any excuse.

But he remained silent, his icy stare penetrating your orbs with such intensity you felt your legs trembling slightly. His grip threatened to loosen but you held him, refusing to let him leave you alone like he had done countless times before.

"What are you doing?" you asked again.

He opened his mouth to reply, his hard look fell along with his feigned arrogance, letting a new face emerge: it was him but he was so different you could have easily mistaken him for someone else.

"I'm trying to be nice, we are supposed to get along... I didn't think it was this much of a deal, princess." he replied, the insolence rapidly coming back. He tried to let go of your hand but you were adamant; he would have given you a reason whether he wanted to or not.

"That's not it."

"Do you think you know everything, princess?" he kept on adding that last word with such spite, as if it was you who randomly decided to save him from the boredom of the royal ball with the excuse of a dance between mere acquaintances.

"I do think there is something you are not telling me, prince." he visibly stiffened but the corners of his mouth gave you the opposite impression, as if he finally felt at ease for the first time ever with you.

"You are wrong."

"Am i, prince?"

With speed similar to that of light, he took your waist in his grasp, still holding your hand with his own, your faces now embarrassingly close as you swayed on the dance floor.

You felt his chest rise up and down against yours but he refused to fully meet your eyes, instead searching for something in your face that he already deemed impossible to find.

"Am i?" you repeated, tentatively.

"No, no you're not." he spoke slowly but somehow hurriedly, as if he didn't want to let the words escape his mouth because once they were out it meant they would have been real, thus meaning his feelings couldn't be denied any longer.

"Then tell me. What are you doing?" your tone was soft and careful, but a touch of impulsiveness was still audible.

"We're dancing, aren't we?" he said smugly, his gaze focusing on the guests that were now watching the two of you very intently. "Maybe we shouldn't have, we are attracting a lot of attention."

You frantically turned your head to look at all the people watching but his firm grip returned you to his eyes. "Don't look at them, princess, look at me."

You couldn't describe it but all the days he had spent ignoring you vanished as he spoke to you so softly. But you needed an answer.

"Why are you doing this?" sincerity lacing your tone, he couldn't help but smile and sigh.

"I fancied you since the first moment, y/n, but i thought it would have been seen as inappropriate to get closer to my sister's fiancé's sister." you giggled lightly, rolling your eyes.

"It might be, but i'm glad you changed your mind, then."

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[bokutoslittlebird]

S/O with Daddy Kink + Sub tendencies — Bokuto/Iwaizumi/Sakusa

These are the more “dom” characters in which they do expect you to be submissive. Sorry this is late, I was out and about and thought I finished it (obvs I didn’t oop)

Bokuto

> He’s definitely thought about y’all. Like first week, he’s already ready to smash. He probably doesn’t bring it up at like all, but he thinks about it.

> He sees himself as the dom in the bedroom, so he isn’t surprised that you are submissive. Even if you’re wild like him or a free spirit, he’s gonna assume you let him take control and will not bring it up. That is the standard once it happens.

> Also probably wants you to call him something because I think he likes pet names a lot (intimacy y’know) and so he might put it a spur of the moment line like “Tell Daddy what you want, bunny/puppy/princess/little prince/etc.” and hearing that come out of his mouth it’s like “oh? Yes please”

> If he says something else (like Master), then you just gotta tell him afterwards (or during, your call) but if you go along with it and never bring it up, it’s set in stone. He assumes nothing is wrong and will not know unless you show visible hesitance and/or bring it up.

> Same thing the submissive tendencies. You might have to be like “oh, were you surprised?” And he’ll deadass be like “nah I always knew you were my good girl/boy/baby” like. Sir. Round 2?

> If you’re a switch leaning sub, he’s a good guy to go for. If you’re a switch leaning dom, he’s probably not the best option. He likes being in control because he likes watching you react to him.

Iwaizumi

> Similar to Bokuto, he assumes he will take the reins in the bedroom, but he doesn’t think that much about it. Your personality may show otherwise, but he is used to dealing with unpredictable things (read: Matsukawa and Hanamaki). So, not surprised.

> He, however, is probably surprised to find out you got a Daddy kink like ?? What? He’s completely lost because I feel like he’s used to it being a joke (courtesy of Hanamaki) but never thinking its an actual thing. Like, he’s desensitized.

> But actually hearing you call him that? Like you actually saying “Daddy, please,” in his ear all breathlessly? Ooh boy, you gonna be walking funky when he’s done with you if you walk

> If you’re a switch leaning sub, he’s a good to go to guy, but if you’re switch leaning dom, he’s probably not the best. He isn’t opposed to the idea but he automatically assumes him = dom.

Sakusa

> He’s kinda the oddball here lmao

> Sakusa, for his first time with you, he wants things to go smoothly. He needs to know what you’re okay with and what you’re not okay with. What names he can and cannot call you, and he is very open to telling you what he thinks he likes and if it would be okay to try them with you.

> A sweetheart honestly. This is where the sub/dom and daddy kink is established. Personally, I feel like he may have to grow on the idea of being called Daddy or even giving you a nickname in accordance to that (look at Bokuto’s pet names). He will warm up to it and it can become standard practice, but he’s going to need time.

> Sub tendencies, he kind of expected. Atsumu, the bastard, looked at you and immediately asked Sakusa if you liked it rough in bed/asked how his “brat” was doing. Anyways, Meian put him in timeout and Sakusa went home early.

> So he’s not surprised but you telling him you’re also a switch opens his options. He’s going to assume the dom role, but as your relationship progresses, he can eventually warm up to the idea of becoming a switch himself. Maybe he’ll let you dom and he’ll sub, but he’s not thinking about that quite yet.