#unless it's some certain things I'll just call her or he)

[screamsofanoutlawbrain]

I can describe my gender as being the way it is because I was built a girl, and I had to learn slowly over time that the changes to myself I have made have nothing to do with my gender or sex, but I feel like I got something a bit funky going on inside and I feel a bit like I'm not fully girl but not anything else. I identify as demi girl, and I am a demi girl in the way that a cupcake is a muffin but a muffin is not a cupcake.

Aka if being a girl was like our solar system, then I'm pluto. Technically I'm not supposed to be in there, but nobody wants nor cares to push me outta the party.

[genderqueerdykes]

trans men and women learn a lot from each other when we get close and it's a wonderful thing. it's okay to be dysphoric about manhood. it's okay to be dysphoric about womanhood. it's okay to not like he/him pronouns, to not like she/her pronouns. it's okay to not like how strangers gender you. it's okay to talk about these things with each other, to share mutual disgust, to see how it affects one another and how it shapes our identities and experiences.

it's okay to talk about the things that make you uncomfortable together. it's not invalidating each other's experiences to have conversations like saying "i'm so tired of being seen as a man no matter what, and being around people who treat me like a man" to a trans man and having the trans man respond by saying "i feel the same way about people who treat me like a woman" and agree to not project one's trauma on to the other

it's okay to be vulnerable. it's okay to admit when we don't understand certain parts of each others experiences, too. we do NOT have to act like experts and like we've "read the book" on what another person's gender is. even if we think we know a lot about that gender, we don't know everything, because we don't know everyone. literally. it's okay to go "i don't understand, but I'll call you whatever you identify as." and be receptive without knowing exactly what they mean.

we don't understand many things in life. that's fine. it's okay to just listen and not talk for once. you don't have to try to speak as though you've lived as a trans man when you're a trans women, and you don't have to speak for trans women if you're a trans man. we are allowed to advocate for our own experiences and simultaneously listen to other queer experiences and respect their boundaries, spaces, and needs.

there is a lot to learn about the challenges that trans women face, the unique struggles that come with some being raised as boys and the troubles that come with that, being seen as a feminine boy, being subjected to homophobia- getting called faggots and other slurs. some were raised as girls, some are intersex, and some are afab or other birth sexes, and the mixing of masculinity and femininity and cause a lot of issues when it comes to how society treats that person

there are lots of conversations that have to be listened to when it comes to the transmasculine experience and how nobody but transmasc people can articulate what it's like to live as a transmasculine person. no one can speculate on it, because it is such a unique experience. it is a complicated matter of several different types of prejudice that no one else can quite understand where it comes from and how it feels unless they've been there

it is so deeply rooted in misogyny, where people treat us like "stupid, confused women," like we're "destroying children" that we're 'destroying our bodies', that our hormones make us "unstable, irritable and emotional," and that we are unreliable narrators. we get called hysterical. we get told we're "ruining a pretty girl" or wasting our "pretty" features. we get lectured about how we need to be attractive and how testosterone will ruin that by our own parents. we get told we can't dress masc because it will make us "ugly" or "butch" or "dykes".

people hate it when we bind our breasts, cut our hair, hide our curves, change our gait, and stop wearing makeup. they lose a "girl" to ogle and become enraged, upset or uncomfortable. while the transmasc person is trying to navigate life in a way where they don't feel objectified, it becomes a matter of even worse objectification because now antimasculism is introduced into the mix and the experience becomes transandrophobia.

people are so hateful and bitter toward manhood and masculinity. people ask us "why would you EVER want to be a man? NOBODY wants to be a man." they tell us "men are ugly, violent, and mean." people tell us that men are sexual predators, that they're inherently abusive. people tell us that testosterone makes people ugly. they tell us that men aren't or can't be queer. they tell us we can't be a feminine man. they tell us we can't be men at all, that transmasculinity isn't even a thing, that transmanhood isn't a thing. we even get told that the only way to be trans is to be transfeminine, and what we are experiencing is a delusion, hysteria, or a result of us being hormonal from being on our periods and/or HRT.

when we listen to each others' experiences we realize how people who are othered by society are treated. we learn that not only we experiencing this, but so is everyone around us. we do not have to try to make one side's experience more important than another's. we can hold each other up by having conversations and being vulnerable about what's going on, how we're being treated, how we want to be treated, and how the community is failing us and how we can do better.

we deserve to have conversations. there's a lot to learn, a lot to laugh about, a lot to relate to, and a lot to be curious about. these conversations are good to have. it's good to admit when you know nothing about transmasculinity or transfemininity or any other identity. it's okay to ask respectful questions. it's okay to tell people when you appreciate their identities, and them explaining it to you. it's okay to just listen. it really is. we have to learn to listen it's not something that can be avoided perpetually for life. listening to someone else's conversation does not erase yours, it does not take it away from the equation. they exist together.

[xxepherr]

.ೃ࿐MRS HOLLYWOOD

summary — in which hasan is caught in the loop of a cyclical relationship with hollywood’s biggest star

pairings — hasan piker x fem!unnamed!actress!oc

pronouns — she/her

word count — 736

note — based on mrs hollywood by go-jo. just a small little thing to get me out of my writer’s block — its nothing special

ON AGAIN, OFF AGAIN.

how many more times was he going to respond to another text? how many more times was he going to leave the key to his house under the doormat?

hasan knew better. at thirty-three he had enough life skills and knowledge to avoid things that used to rope him in a decade ago. perhaps that was why he had matured to a certain extent, but that didn't seem to extend to her.

she was glitz and glamour, a pretty picture splashed across a canvas and decorated to the brim with jewellery. the centre of so many hit films, it seemed that being the centre of hasan piker's world was the only one that mattered.

hasan knew better than to keep letting her back in. she was the same toxicity of a drug, and twice as addictive. she was never around, always departing to go star in the next big thing, never sending a text or bothering to call unless she wanted something.

“you’re always MIA,” he mumbled, the stars shining through his window as the moon kept watch. “where do you go?”

“not everyone works from home,” she mumbled back, closing her eyes as she tucked herself into the large arm he had around her.

“when can we go back?” he tried again. hasan’s fingers tangled in her hair, soothing against her scalp. “this is killing me.”

she remained silent. she couldn’t settle down, running away was all she’d ever known. long-term never worked because then she couldn’t escape, but the excuse of work was wearing thin. she knew hasan didn’t believe her anymore. for fucks sake, most of her filming locations were maybe thirty minutes from his house. it’s not like she was halfway across the fucking globe or anything.

“i can’t,” she answered in a dull fashion, “all you do is work, i’m the same—“

“but you’re not,” he cut her off. it was hard to be upset when they were skin to skin, kept decent by a thin sheet. “it’s been five fucking years.”

“you can forget about me,” she tried to roll out from his arms, but he only tightened them in response. “let me go, has.”

“you can’t keep running,” he said calmly, refusing to raise his voice at her. he used to years ago when things were rockier and her tendencies were dripping with toxic sludge, but it was never the solution. she would just disappear for longer, surfacing in milan or some other foreign place for a day or two before she fell off the map again. “there’s nowhere left for you. this can be your home, too.”

home for her was an apartment in the heart of hollywood. she owned a smaller one in malibu, but neither were home. it was just a place to sleep on the nights she wasn’t staying in hasan’s large bed. there weren’t family memories in the walls like the walls in his house, or the smell of home cooked meals on the occasion that his mother was around and willing. it was just empty — grey walls and white couches, picture frames scarce unless it was one that had been gifted to her after a successful film.

there's nowhere left for you. where hadn't she gone? travelling wasn't just for film locations, it was to get away — to escape things she didn't need to anymore, to continue to feel something by doing all she ever knew how to. packing a few things and fucking off was so easy, running never got tiring . . . but she was nearing thirty. soon enough she would have to settle down somewhere to keep herself grounded, to keep herself afloat.

hasan was offering that. could she take it? it was the easy way out, a way to find that stability that she never could seem to take before.

"just . . . at least stay until morning," he tried one last time, rolling onto his side to press closer to her as if that was the solution to her constant disappearances. "i'll try to make you breakfast."

"mhm, maybe," was all she could mumble, succumbing to the warmth of his body heat and falling into a peaceful slumber.

HASAN woke up the next morning to an empty left side of the bed, the blankets neatly made where she had slept as if she had never been there to begin with. just like always.

[samcrosfaith]

GONE WITH THE SIN / CHAPTER ONE

Happy Lowman x fem!reader

authors note; First chapter is out, yay! I'm really excited for this story and hope you are, too! I appreciate every like, comment and/or reblog. Enjoy reading. You can find all chapters for this story in my main masterlist {pinned post}, it'll lead you to the right masterlist. 🖤🍒

warning ⚠️; mention of blood.

tag list; @adoreemee @mamawiggers1980 @tommyflanaganfan-blog @delightfulheroshoeflap @jp1019 / If you want to get tagged just let me know in the comments!

word count; 2165

IT WAS THE MIDDLE of the day when more and more cars filled the lot. Women and children got out, heavy bags slung over their shoulders as they were greeted by the members and escorted inside. Wives, mothers, childrenᅳ anyone close to a son.

Jax watched the whole thing from one of the picnic tables, preparations for the lockdown in full swing, a cigarette hanging between his lips, the smoke dancing lazily in front of his face while Tara and Lyla looked after their kids and the other children inside to take some of the work off the upset mothers.

He looked at his phone again, sighing deeply and frowning as he read the new message from his little sisterᅳ half-sister to be exact, but he didn't make a distinction.

'I told you I couldn't come. I'll be fine, Jaxᅳ stop worrying. Take care of yourselves and give me updates, hear me? Love you.'

"No chance?" Chibs appeared behind Jax, the wood of the table creaking as he sat down next to the blonde and fished a cigarette out of his crumpled pack. "Ye' kno' we can just get her. Or we call Lee t' send a prospect from Tacoma."

"Nah, she'll flip if I send someone she doesn't know to keep an eye on her", Jax replied with the slightest of grins, knowing how much Randi hated having strangers around. "But we have to do something, we can't just risk something happening to her."

Being the daughter of the former Pres, the sister of the new Pres and the former Old Lady of the Tacoma Killer made Randi a target. Enemies would know that they would hurt the club by using SAMCRO's princess as leverage, maybe even harming her. And if they did enough research, they knew Randi existed.

"No, we can't, yer' right abou' that." If there was one thing Chibs didn't want, it was for something to happen to the young woman, the younger Teller, just like Jax, just as important to him than his own child. "Clay didn't get through t' her either?"

"No, not even Clay", the blonde sighed before flicking away the rest of his cigarette and straightening up. "I'll talk to Mom, maybe I'll head up there myself."

"Aye, but yer' not drivin' alone, Jackie", Chibs insisted sternly. "It's not safe right now."

"I know, brother", Jax nodded curtly and slapped Chibs' back before strolling towards the office to talk to Gemma. With a small smile, he leaned in the doorway, his hands deep in his pockets, as he watched his mom for a while, the matriarch engrossed in her work. "You know there are no customers coming in the next few days, right? Stop workin' and sit down with Tara and Lyla."

Gemma, her head still hovering over the paperwork, just waved her hand. "I need a distraction, otherwise I'll go crazy worrying about your stubborn sister."

Jax sighed, pushing himself off the doorframe to walk towards his mother, placing a hand on her shoulder once he stood behind her. "She just doesn't want to lose her job, can't you understand that?"

"Understand?" Snorting, Gemma put down the pen, jerking her head towards Jax. "She knows we don't call a lockdown unless it's really necessary! And she has the nerve to just tell me that she'll be fine. No job can be so important to!"

"Stop it", Jax warned, yet with a certain softness in his tone. With slow steps he sauntered to the small couch where he plopped down. "You know exactly how much this job means to her; dancing was all she's ever done, all she's ever wanted to do."

Gemma let out a huff, bracing her hands against her hip after she stood up. "You think I don't know that, smartass? I'm her mother, Jackson. And I'm happy for her, believe it or notᅳ but she has to come home, at least until the lockdown's over. Shit's getting serious and I'm not taking the risk of my babygirl getting hurt or worse."

"Aight", Jax nodded slowly, understanding where his mother was coming from, worry etched info his own features. "What if I head up there, stay with her until this is over? Tara and the boys are going to be safe here with you guys."

"Or", Gemma trailed, drumming her fingernails against the surface of the table after she had sat down on it. "We send Happy."

"No, Mom, stop it", the blonde warned again, followed by a deep, tired sigh as his mother just innocently shrugged her shoulders. "We can't do that to Hap, you know he's still not over her, not even close. It'll just rip open old wounds. And Randi's gonna rip out god damn heads off if we do that."

"Or their love is rekindled when they spend time together alone. Randi's gonna realize that she's still in love with him", Gemma lifted her hand as Jax was about to interrupt her. "I know she still loves him, I can hear it in her voice every time I mention him. So, why not?"

"Okay, even if she still loves him", Jax' voice dropped low just in case someone would walk by. "It still won't work out between them. His life is here, her life is in Seattle now. As much as I hate that she's so far away, she finally lives her dream."

Gemma waved her hand, lifting a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "She can't be that happy, Jax. She's got no one up there, not even a single friend. Her family is here, the man she lovesᅳ I don't buy this 'mom I'm really happy here' bullshit from her."

"Whatever, I'm not sending Hap up there", Jax said, his final decision made, which earned him a slightly annoyed look from his mother; but he didn't care, he wasn't going to hurt his brother on purpose just because they all wanted them back together. "Tell Clay to meet me in Church later, first I wanna talk to Tara about this."

ᅳ

CLAY LEANED BACK IN HIS CHAIR, his brow furrowed in thought. "And you're sure that's safe enough? It would be better if she came here, son."

"Yeah, maybe, but you know how stubborn she is. I can try to convince her to come back to Charming with me", Jax shrugged his shoulders, the only solution he could think of. "But I can't take her against her will, that would only drive her away from us."

"Yeah, I know", Clay grumbled, rubbing his chin with a sigh. Randi had definitely inherited her stubbornness from both Gemma and him. "And you takeᅳ"

Clay was interrupted by gunfire. Bullet after bullet pierced the walls, screaming and panic echoing through the clubhouse. With a quick movement, Jax dragged the older man to the ground, crossing the room close to the ground and then storming out of Chapel.

"Stay down", he hollered in Clay's direction before pushing past the panicked crowd, women and children getting shielded from other members. "Tara!"

No answer, not even when he yelled her name again over the loud shots and the breaking of windows and other things. He spotted Gemma, her body bent over Abel and Thomas', his younger son crying while Abel just clung to Gemma's arm, his eyes wide with fear.

Tig, his piercing blue eyes filled with rage and anger, looked around, his gaze sharp as he shielded Gemma's body with his so that in a bullet would hit him first instead of Gemma or the kids.

"Has anyone seen my wife?!" Jax yelled into the crowd, but apart from a few headshakes he got no answer, everyone too scared to even think clearly. "Fuck!"

Panic gripped him as he continued to search the room. Chibs was with Lyla, pushing her and Ope's children into a safe corner, the others were with their own Old Ladies and families. But Tara was nowhere.

"Jax, over here!" It was Bobby frantically waving him over, and Jax' eyes grew wide with fear.

Bobby sat on the floor next to the door, his hands pressed down to Tara's stomach. Blood seeped past them anyway, dripping from his wrists onto the sticky wooden floorboards, Tara's shirt already soaked in the red liquid.

Jax' heart sank as he slid to his knees, cupping Tara's face into his shaking hands, his wife barely able to keep her eyes open. "Hey, stay awake, you hear me? You can't do this to me, babe."

Happy, Quinn, and two others rushed past him, their guns clutched firmly in their hands as they rushed outside, firing shots. It took a moment, but the gunfire finally stopped and the loud screeching of tires drifted into the distance as Jax felt like he couldn't breathe anymore.

"Chibs, I need you over here", Jax hollered as everything went silent for a moment, his blue eyes covered with a layer of unshed tears as Tara wrapped her fingers gently around his wrist.

"I need a hospital", she croaked, no judgement or anger in her voice, just fear. "You're taking care of the boys, you hear me? No matter what happensᅳ"

Jax shook his head, sniffling as he rubbed his thumbs over Tara's cheeks. "Don't even say it, babe. You'll be fine, I promise."

"Jesus Christ." Chibs took Bobby's place on the floor while Bobby already had his phone pressed against his ear and was calling an ambulance, the sirens of several police cars already blaring in the distance. "This is heavy, Jackson. If I do something now, I might make it worse."

"Oh my god", Gemma exclaimed, shielding the boys' view so they couldn't see their mother bleeding on the floor. "Tig, take the boys to mine and Clay's room, stay with them!"

The man with the dark curls hesitated for a moment, but his hands were already placed on the boys' shoulders. "Gemᅳ"

"Now, Tig", the matriarch barked before rushing to her son and Tara, but her scrutinizing gaze searched the clubhouse for Clay. She breathed a sigh of relief as he rushed out of Chapel and in her direction. "Oh, thank God, you're okay."

"I'm fine, baby. Are you?" Clay grabbed Gemma's shoulders, looking his wife up and down. He pulled her into a short hug, holding her tightly before he also saw what was going on. "Jesus Christ, this can't be true. The bastardsᅳ"

"We have one of them", Happy shouted as he and Quinn came back into the clubhouse, his gun pressed firmly against the back of the stranger's head, whom he pushed in front of him. "What do you want me to do with him?"

"Hide him, good. The cops are already on their way", Clay grumbled while Gemma sank to the ground next to Jax and placed her hands firmly on Tara's wound. "And then we'll let the bastard suffer. But not until we've taken care of everyone."

Happy nodded briefly, his answer just a low grunt as he was about to push the stranger further across the room and to the back of the clubhouse. But when Jax called out his name, he stopped abruptly and turned around.

He felt for his brother, his hard, unreadable gaze immediately softening when he saw the sheer panic in Jax' eyes, the man still holding his wife in his arms. If that was his Old Lady, Happy would lose his mind just as muchᅳ and for that alone he was willing to make the fucker in front of him suffer.

"What do you need, Pres?", he asked in a rasp while the other members around him tried to settle the chaos and take care of their families.

"I can't leave here right now", he said seriously, not ready to leave Tara alone right now. She needed him and he needed to know that she'd be okay. "I need you to check on Randi, stay with her until it's safe again. Please, Hap."

Jax trusted everyone in this room with his sister's life, but Happy was on a whole different level. Calculated, brutal and when it came to Randi, no matter how painful their break up had been, the killer would protect her with his life.

And that's why Jax wasn't surprised when Happy didn't even hesitate for a moment, instead he just nodded firmly. "I'll make sure nothing happens to her."

"Thank you", Jax replied sincerely as the first cops stormed through the door, causing a new kind of chaos.

Happy discreetly pushed the guy in front of him to the back of the clubhouse, threatening the man that he would find and kill his family if he said a word to the Cops. The SAA didn't know how the next few days would go, what it would be like to see Randi again for the first time in over a yearᅳ but he would sure as hell make sure that nothing happened to the woman under his watch, as much as he dreaded their first encounter.

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here and I seen an ask as I was scrolling that made me think. One question was why would Luke continue to see Ant if she was involved with pap gate? And another question was why would he continue to date ant it he knew it was hurting nic? So let's tackle the first one. My question to you is do you automatically think the worst of the people in your life? Do you automatically have bad things happens and assume it's someone attached to you? I personally don't. I think to figure out who was behind pap gate would be difficult and he might have just assumed they followed him from the after party to the hotel. He might not have even put two and two together. We know the girl been baiting the fans but an outsider would just think she taking pictures and posting them. So why would Luke think any type of different? To him she wasn't nasty. She I'm sure showed all her best qualities to him. Remember even though they been "seeing" each other for a year he's been gone for most of that. So did he really know her? No how can he when he spent so much time touring, and even when he was back I'm sure he was exhausted in between countries. So yes there is a possibly he didn't put two and two together. We still don't know who called them we still have just theories and I'm sure he's not gonna ask backgrid who called. Actually why would he even go that route mentally and assume it was his people? I'm sure that thought didn't come in his head till it became a pattern which was Italy. Now why would he continue dating Ant if Nic was hurting? Now this one made me pause a bit. Why would he? then it dawned on me who to even say they had that discussion on how they feel about each other. How would he know how she felt unless she told him? I personally am a people pleaser and honestly at times it sucks. I always put myself last. So it goes to stand if Nic knew he was seeing her then why would she get in the way of his relationship? She would never be the reason they broke up. Men naturally are able to communicate feelings as good as woman are. They are naturally logical thinkers. They react to issues using logic where as woman react using feelings. So Nic did why I would have done thrown herself into work and just have some fun try not to dwell on something you can't change. I seen an article that spoke on she went from the Tour to straight to filming. She didn't have to dwell in the Luke stuff cuz she kept herself busy. Now personally I think they have talked since then. I think it was after Italy. Who knows if they spoken feelings? But i do think things are moving in the right direction. Hey maybe this JD photos got a certain person moving.

💯

Hard to know EXACTLY what's been going on BTS with L/N since the beginning of the year. I personally think they have seriously been working on their romantic relationship since the Italy stop of the WT. I think papgate threw a wrench in everything though and things were definitely not all rainbows and sunshine between L/N this summer. I think they took some space this summer to figure out there stuff, and there was some type of positive shift between them after the Italy bday trip. I also personally think things have been kind of off and on between L/N for a while, and they have known each other so long, that if they can get on the same page, I think things will get serious pretty quickly. And I have this theory (based on everything I've seen between them this year and PARTICULARLY N's chaos week), that they have finally gotten on the same page 😉

I am also going to say this. I think it speaks VOLUMES what L/N have on their public grid of each other (and the other people in their lives they DON'T choose to put on their grid). Especially N (who's a lot more SM savy than L). I've said it before, and I'll say it again. L (not Colin) is ALL OVER N'S GRID 🤔

[absolutely-esme]

Monster!Tim Coraline au part 3

I had more thoughts on the au from here and here.

First off, It's called Hungry Monster Tim au unless and until I come up with a better name.

That's the tag that will help you find related content. I titled the post the way I did so that people who found the au before it had a name could recognize it. I'm hoping this will minimize confusion.

...

Now, I figure I'll talk a bit about how others view Tim.

The most of the earlier additions to the Batfam have mostly interacted with Tim in Emotional Support Tim mode.

Emotional Support Tim is pleasant and comforting. He is not overly exuberant and joyful in a way that would grate on fresh grief. He is also not joyless in a way that might make a hero feel obligated to worry about him. He is gentle and competent. His patience seems nearly endless. He can tolerate both being coddled and being leaned on. He can tolerate both being clung to and pushed away. He can tolerate switching back and forth at unpredictable intervals.

Tim approached Nightwing in his standard state of "tired, low on patience, and possibly about to do something stupid," once before Tim realized he was also grief-stricken and in no fit state to get Batman under control. He might have an inkling that Emotional Support Tim is an act, or he might just think Tim was having a bad day.

Bruce thinks Emotional Support Tim is what Tim is actually like. By the time Bruce was functional enough to not need so much managing, he'd gotten attached enough to the facade for Tim to have concerns about dropping it.

Alfred can tell that Tim is putting on a facade. He can tell that the role Tim has taken on is wearing on him. He doesn't like it. He feels guilty for allowing it to continue. He can't bring himself to put a stop to it when it's keeping his adoptive son alive.

Barbara initially meets Emotional Support Tim, immediately clocks the act, and pulls him aside to make sure there isn't something sinister afoot. Babs has reservations about every aspect of Tim's involvement, but agrees that something had to be done about Bruce. She lets him carry on for now, but she's ready to pull the plug if it seems like it's getting too much for him. She insists that Tim drop the act when it's just the two of them.

Babs doesn't know about the supernatural stuff specifically, but she knows there's more going on with Tim than what she knows about. She may learn that he has some hereditary health stuff that requires him to be extra careful about his food intake. She makes a point to not be weird about it because people being weird about her wheelchair annoys the crap out of her.

I like to imagine that Babs and Tim have a certain amount of solidarity over being the sensible ones who keep all these unhinged, dramatic bitches in line. They also have solidarity over ignoring the fact that they are just as dramatic and unhinged as the rest of the Bats.

Steph meets Tim in Regular Tim mode because Bruce isn't with him. Instead of trying to discourage Spoiler, he introduces her to Babs. Steph knows Tim as a tired smartass who kind of always seems like he's a bit hangry and trying not to take it out on anyone, but apparently he's just like that.

They don't date, but do become friends. Part of this is because grouchy, eternally hungry, constantly done-with-this-shit Tim isn't attractive to Steph but is kind of hilarious. Part of it is because Babs points out that there is no possible timeline where the kind of power imbalance from only one member of a couple knowing the other's secret identity doesn't turn toxic.

When Steph eventually encounters Emotional Support Tim, it creeps her out. She uses the term "pod person" when asking what the heck that was.

Steph's disastrous stint as Robin doesn't happen because she's already got her own thing going. She already has a mentor and appropriate protective gear. Babs and Steph actually get along better because they start their mentorship as Oracle and Spoiler without any of the complicated emotions of taking up a mantle.

I like Steph as Spoiler the best because it always seemed a little messed up to shove someone who already had their own original Identity into two legacy mantles. Let her do her own thing. She doesn't need to be a successor to Babs or Dick when she's already the OG Steph. Instead of giving her the Robin gear or the Batgirl gear, get her some upgraded, Bat-quality Spoiler gear.

Steph doesn't start a gang war or fake her death in this timeline, because the circumstances that caused it do not exist here.

Jason initially encounters Tim in Feral Cryptid mode, then writes that off as a fever dream after waking up to Emotional Support Tim. Once free of the Lazarus parasite, Jason makes it his mission to be a good big brother to Tim. Tim seemed a little stand-offish at first, but warmed up to him. (As soon as Tim realized that food was part of Jason's love language, he rearranged his meal plan to let Jason feed him without triggering supernatural problems with his metabolism.)

Jason eventually manages to earn Tim's trust enough to meet and get to know Regular Tim. Jason is both honored and concerned. Putting on such an extensive facade for the comfort of others has got to be exhausting, and Tim seems so worn down underneath it. Well, he doesn't have to do it for Jason anymore. Jason will happily hang out with and support any version of Tim.

When Damian shows up, he mostly sees Emotional Support Tim. Then he starts trying to kill him. Eventually, Tim's patience with the pint-sized murderer wears thin (possibly due to Damian hitting a PTSD trigger), and Tim goes Feral Cryptid mode. This freaks Damian out. There is no video evidence (which the rest of the Bats assume to be because Damian tampered with the security system in an attempt to get away with murder).

It doesn't happen again.

Tim doesn't bust out his powers or cryptid form against Damian again, but now that he's seen it, Damian sometimes sees traces of Feral Cryptid Tim lurking below the surface. Various little things he'd ignored that hadn't seemed significant on their own now seem to stem from the nature of what lurks inside the human skin.

Damian stops the murder attempts early. It's not because of ethics (which will take time to learn). It’s because he has no idea how to kill whatever sort of unearthly thing Tim is, and he recognizes how unwise it would be to continue attacking something he cannot kill. For now, Tim seems content to leave him be whenever he's not directly under assault. Damian doesn't want to risk becoming enough of a pest to be worth the effort of swatting.

...

I also had thoughts about Tim's post-Robin period.

When Tim goes on his quest to retrieve Bruce from the time stream, he doesn't take the Red Robin suit. He's going to be outside of the Bats' scrutiny, so he gears up with a suit and equipment he'd secretly made with his supernatural nature in mind. It's got Bat-standard armor and padding, but modified to accommodate a bit of form shifting without compromising protection. It's got a patchwork thing going on.

Tim sewed it himself, which allows him to manipulate it. It's also got buttons sewn in strategic locations to eliminate blindspots. (Taking down the beldam gave him the ability to control things he made and see through buttons he sewed).

His utility pouches are full of both Bat-standard equipment and things relevant to Tim's abilities. Also, he makes his pockets bigger on the inside, so he can carry a lot.

Tim isn't around the other Bats, so he's not being Emotional Support Tim. He's not using the minor illusion powers he got from the beldam to make himself look pleasant. He only makes the effort to be comforting when dealing with victims. He's just being the semi-feral scrungly dude he is.

...

Tim keeps in touch with Jason, Babs, and Steph while he's off on his quest to find Bruce. He occasionally pitches in with stuff that can be done from a distance.

Tim didn't say that Bruce was still alive before he had evidence. It's not because this version managed to predict that they wouldn't believe him, but rather because he thought he might have to do some supernatural stuff to get him back and didn't want witnesses. He just told the other Bats he needed to investigate something and would tell them more once he had figured out enough to know what to tell them.

This means that the other heroes don't think he's crazy, and Tim can use hero resources for his investigation.

I haven't decided yet if Tim will interact with the League of Assassins at all. On the one hand, I think this Tim might not need to work with them. On the other hand, Hungry Monster Tim terrorizing the League of Assassins and fighting the Lazarus Pit would be funny. Maybe Ras doesn't try to recruit him. Maybe Tim just shows up, fights the Lazarus Pit, and leaves without explaining anything to anyone.

Either way, I think that Tim is pretty much done with keeping up the Emotional Support Tim facade by the time he comes home after saving Bruce. It's been long enough to justify the change.

Babs, Jason, and Steph are happy for Tim because they can see how much better he's doing without the added strain of keeping up the act. They are also glad that he feels comfortable enough to just be himself.

Bruce and Dick are more in the horrified/concerned neighborhood because, from their perspective, Tim started off gentle-natured and glowing with health, got fired from Robin, disappeared for a while, and came back gaunt and world-weary.

...

I'm thinking about whether or not Tim should tell Babs, Jason, and Steph about the supernatural stuff he's got going on.

It would have come out at some point. If he tries to keep it secret forever, you can bet some kind of dramatic, high-stakes threat would force the reveal. That's just how the Bats' lives are.

What I am debating with myself is whether or not to have Tim choose to share a secret he's been keeping for as long as he can remember for fear of the danger discovery might bring with the people he trusts most without something forcing his hand.

If he does, I think he would tell Jason first. Jason has seen that side of him, and Tim allowed him to think it was a nightmare. Tim wouldn't want to risk Jason hearing about it from someone else. Tim would probably be scared. He doesn't know if Jason will still like him once he knows that Tim really is the Monster from his nightmare. He doesn't know if Jason will forgive him for lying about it.

I think this would happen after Tim comes back to Gotham after saving Bruce.

[jals-stuff]

hello :) saw ur headcanons! mind doing one w deli and the sl*tty jester pleaseeee?

good day anon~ I see that everyone is barking for Domina and Famin so I'll do just that.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR MASHLE! If you do not know Domina, Famin, Delisaster and Meliadoul, please do not read!

Unless you don't care about spoilers. Then you're free to read~

How would these Mashle characters react if they found their s/o stuck in the washing machine? + personal ratings (again)

For Meliadoul, Domina, Famin and Delisaster.

Warnings: embarrassing? there's an f-bomb somewhere in here

short washing machine headcanons (part 2!)

MELIADOUL…

She’s probably training Ochoa to do stupid things she saw on the internet when you call for her. (Thank you for saving the little guy.)

She’s going to laugh out loud when she sees you stuck head first inside the washing machine! Of course she will. “Please c’mon, please say Stepsis, I’m stuck!” but you won’t, because she’s laughing too hard for you to even understand what she just said.

When she’s finally calm again, she will try to get you out, struggling quite a lot and muttering insults towards the poor washing machine’s family tree, then finally give up and cut through it with her Magical Chainsaw. 

You’ll get very scared, of course, and the chainsaw will absolutely cut through you, but you’ll feel extra relaxed afterwards. She will occasionally tease you about this episode, mostly if you’re cuddling with her.

Made fun + cut you with her Chainsaw, but now you feel nice. You aren’t even mad, 8/10.

DOMINA…

Domina is attempting to make some apple pie when his focus is broken by a muffled scream coming from the laundry room. He sighs and immediately makes his way there.

With anyone else, he would get super angry, but it’s you, and he loves you very much. “Oh no, (Y/N), are you alright?” He isn’t panicking, but he’s a little worried that you might be feeling in pain or too uncomfortable.

He will undoubtedly get you out very nice and slow, and make sure to inspect your face and arms to be absolutely certain that you aren’t hurt (you’d better hope so if you don’t want him to molest your poor washing machine afterwards).

If you’re embarrassed or uncomfortable about it, he’s going to bring you with him and keep making apple pie (it was supposed to be a surprise for you but fuck it) to distract you.

Gentle and cute, definitely makes good pies. 9/10 don’t forget to praise him for this please

FAMIN…

He’s.. I don’t know, probably stealing stuff from his brothers’ rooms when you call him, and his head makes a whole 180° turn before he realises that you need him, and he comes to see you.

Will probably sit on your back while you’re stuck. “Is it nice in there?” he’s going to ask while giggling. If you say it isn’t, he will pull you out immediately and sit next to you to check your expression for any discomfort.

However, if you’re dating Famin, you’re the type that will say it’s nice, so he will first of all pull you out of the washing machine, and then take your spot in there. He’s going to end up being stuck too.

Now you have to pull him out and you don’t know how to do that, you’re left with a jester inside a washing machine. Sounds like the beginning of an awful pun.

Helped, but got stuck instead. at least it was funny, 7/10.

DELISASTER…

He is 100% scrolling on social media or taking selfies when you call for him, and he’ll keep his eyes glued to his phone while making his way to you.

Upon seeing the pitiful display in front of him, he chuckles. “Oh, em, gee. Are you, like, stuck or something?” He will definitely sit down next to you and take selfies showing his face next to your figure, completely stuck.

He will start a TikTok livestream (titled "LMAO F IN THE CHAT FOR (Y/N)") and ask his followers for advice to get someone out of a washing machine, and make absolutely sure that everyone can see you. What a jerk.

If you start sulking or being too uncomfortable, he will put his phone away and get you out of there immediately, without any further questions. Maybe he’ll take you to a party or let you rest on his lap as an apology.

Mean, and why does he speak like a frat boy?? But at least he’s pretty and the party was nice. 7/10

[imedited]

Manipulation (Ryomen Sukuna x Reader)

TW: dead dove, mentions of SA, huge toxic behavior

a/n: had to repost this because I made a mistake on it

You’re certain that you know Sukuna. He’s crazy, obsessed with you even, and you’re fully aware of that and for some reason, it amuses you. Of course, he doesn’t hurt you when he gets jealous or angry, no, God no, you’re too precious, too beautiful to be hurt, plus it isn’t your fault, it’s the scum men that lusts over you that needs to be punished.

You’re too innocent and naive to know how to seduce other men, to him, you’re a precious little dove that he needs to protect from everyone in the world. Sukuna knows all of the scums of the world and how he needs to keep you away from it, you’re his afterall. All his and no one else’s, and if someone even tries so much as to lay a finger on a stand of your hair, he’ll definitely go ballistic over it. “That’s a normal reaction, because I care for you.” That’s his excuse all the time.

And now his cock twitched as he was filled with rage as he watched you dress up for a girl’s night out. Apparently, your friends invited you to go out that night to get together. Ha, for sure that’s just a cover up to drag my little dove to whore herself out. He thought to himself.

“Baby,” Sukuna called out as he stood up from the bed and walked over to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist as he hugged you from behind, he rested his chin on your shoulder. “Are you really going out tonight? I’ll be lonely, you know.”

“It’s just for tonight, please?” You said as you turned to meet his gaze. “I’ll come back home early, I promise.”

“Alright, I trust you.” Sukuna said as she sighed and let go of you before sitting back down on the edge of the bed. In reality though, he’s starting to come up with a plan to get you to go home immediately, for you to seek his love and protection, to make you not trust those bitches that you call friends. He knows that they’re all a bad influence to you, they’re just turning his precious little dove into a dirty slut like them, and he can’t have that happening.

As soon as you left, Sukuna’s loving demeanor instantly fell and was replaced by a rage-filled and jealous man. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and started to dial someone from his contacts that owed him some money. He smirked as he told him where you were and what to do with you. He knows that you’ve been raped before and have a bad history with men sexually harassing you and he knows just how to use that to get you back with him.

He’s not going to tell him to do something drastic, no, just something enough to get you running back in his arms. He told the man to approach you and drag you somewhere isolated and attempt to force himself on you, but will eventually let you go without actually doing anything to you. And after that, all that there’s left to do is to wait.

Surely,after just about half an hour, the front door opened, revealing you in a panicked and terrified state. Sukuna immediately ran towards you, embracing you and giving you comfort,as if he wasn't the one behind the whole thing, but he doesn't have to reveal that, you're already there,in his arms where you belong.

“Shhh, it's alright now, baby, I'm right here. I'll protect you. He didn't hurt you, did he?” He asked, his eyes full of concern,but that's just a facade, inside he's actually screaming in delight to have you seeking comfort in his arms. "don't worry, no one will hurt you when you're with me.”

“You won't leave the house again,okay? You won't leave unless I'm there with you to protect you. My little princess, I have to keep her safe." He whispered as he kissed the top of her head.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I don't want to leave again." You whimpered as you buried your face in his chest, you could feel your body trembling. The fear and the flashbacks of your past kept seeping through your mind again, haunting you about the past again. 

Sukuna’s eyes softened as he rubbed your back gently, "There's my good little dove, now come here." He whispered, guiding your face upwards to make you look at him and meet his eyes . "Let's forget about this unpleasant experience, shall we? Let me make you forget. All you have to do is think about me and my love for you" He cooed as he leaned in, devouring your lips with his own in a desperate, punishing kiss. His hands moved from your back to your ass, squeezing it hard before pulling you closer against his rock hard erection.

Sukuna broke the kiss, his breathing heavy as he spoke, "Now, let's focus on what really matters tonight, yeah? Just me and you." Eric whispered huskily, his fingers tracing her jawline and down your neck, making you shiver. "You're mine, aren't you?" He growled, nipping at your neck and sucking on it,leaving a mark before lifting you up and carrying you to the bedroom, as your legs wrapped around his waist as he did.

Once in the bedroom, Sukuna laid you down gently on the bed and started undressing you slowly, stripping your clothes off with gentleness. He pushed your thighs apart, revealing your dripping wetness. "Such a filthy little thing, getting wet over some stranger's unwanted touch. Are you sure that you didn't like that,baby?” He said teasingly, trying to get a reaction out of you.

"No, it's not that. Please don't say things like that." You sobbed as you  looked at him with teary eyes, the fear from earlier mixing with the desire and lust that he makes you feel. "It's because of you… I always get wet when you look at me like that…”

Sukuna smirked, you could see that he was pleased by your response as he  climbed on top of you. "Good girl, my sweet little girl,always wanting me,needing me." he praised, his voice rough and arrogant. He leaned in to kiss your lips once more, this time less demanding, as he teased you with his tongue, muffling every moan that came out of your mouth as his hand roamed your body.

Slowly, he slipped his hard cock inside you, relishing the tightness and warmth that almost immediately clenched him greedily as soon as he pushed it inside. He paused for a moment to savor the feeling before starting to thrust, each movement deeper and harder than the last. His hands gripped your hips tightly, making sure you didn't move an inch. His eyes staring at you intently, watching as your expression fades away.

Your cries of pain and pleasure mixing together with the sound of your bodies slapping at each other, fueling his need for dominance. "That's it, take it,baby." he growled, "Take every inch of me, let my cock remind you of who owns you." The force of his thrusts grew stronger, his body moving in perfect sync as he began to lose himself, all he could think of was you and that sweet, flustered face that you made as he pounded you relentlessly.

He could feel your walls tightening around him, milking for his cum to spill inside you. You can't deny that that's not what you wanted as well. But God, does he love to hear it from you, to hear you beg for him to fill you up. “Such a greedy, little pussy, wanting my cock to fill up your womb, huh? You want it, baby?”

" Y-yes, please, I-I need it." You manage to moan out as you arched your back,your nails raking over his back,leaving scratches that he definitely would be proud of in the morning.

Sukuna smirked, loving the sound of your moans and whimpers and your attempt to speak up. He chuckled darkly as his thrust became more frantic, his grip on your hips tightened,leaving marks on it as his thrusts began to be faster, the tightening feeling of his balls, a clear sign of his impending orgasm. With a few more powerful thrusts, he came. His hot seed spilling inside you before he leaned down to kiss the corner of your lips. “Good girl." 

[applestorms]

@jessaerys ok shit this took a while but WHATEVER. wammy's lore collection here we go :3c less analysis this time, this is mostly just to archive the main known details we have in canon about the house, and also the people from there more generally. however much you wanna accept all this/take it at face value is up to You, Dear Reader (and tbh y'all should just read all these if ur curious since they're all pretty short + have Interesting narrators. i'll include links to free versions). do whatever you want forever etc. etc. also, SPOILERS. obviously.

LABB: (listen here)

no this book isn't written by ohba. yes i'm including it. shush. anyways, most of the lore in this comes from mello's vague comments about beyond's backstory, but there's a Lot of interesting things established in this, so. here's a bunch of notable quotes. if you're not already familiar, please keep in mind that the narrator of this novel is mello, writing at some point shortly before his death.

"L. The century's greatest detective. In light of his staggering mental abilities, L died an unjust and untimely death. In the public record alone he solved over 3,500 difficult crimes, and sent three times that number of degenerates to prison. He wielded incredible power, was able to mobilize every investigative bureau in the entire world, and was applauded generously for his efforts. And during it all, he never showed his face." (pg. 10)

"So, what you're reading now are my notes about L. It's a dying message, not from me, and not directed at the world. The person who will most likely read this first will probably be that big-headed twit Near. But if that's the case, I will not tell him to shred or burn these pages. If it causes him pain to discover that I knew things about L that he did not, then that's fine." (pg. 10-11)

"I am one of the few people who ever met L as L. When and how I met him...this is the single most valuable memory I have, and I will not write it here, but on that occasion L related to me three stories of his exploits, and the episode involving Beyond Birthday was one of these." (pg. 11)

"Obviously, it never came to light that L--and more importantly, Wammy's House, which raised me until I was fifteen--was deeply connected to the matter, but in fact, they were. L, on principle, never got involved in a case unless there were more than ten victims or a million dollars at stake, and this is the real reason why he belatedly, but aggressively, involved himself in this little case, which only ever had three or four victims. I will explain further in the pages that follow, but for this reason, the case of the Los Angeles BB murders is a watershed event for L, for me, and even for Kira. It was a monumental event for all of us. Why? Because this is the case where L first introduced himself as Ryuzaki." (pg. 11)

"For any one else but those two [Near and Kira], my identity may be of no interest, but I am the old world's runner-up, the best dresser that died like a dog, Mihael Keehl. I once called myself Mello and was addressed by that name, but that was a long time ago. Good memories and nightmares." (pg. 12)

"She [Naomi Misora] briefly considered the idea that Raye Penber, or someone else, was playing a practical joke on her, but she found it hard to believe that anyone would be so bold to sign their name as such. L never revealed himself in public or in private, but Misora had heard several horror stories about what happened to detectives who tried passing themselves off as L. It was safe to say that no one would dare use his name, even in jest." (pg. 18)

"This was L, so he was undoubtedly solving several other difficult cases all at once. Cases all over the world. For him, this case was just one of many parallel investigations. How else could he maintain his reputation as the world's greatest detective? The century's greatest detective, L. The detective with no clients." (pg. 35)

"L had earned a certain degree of hostility from other detectives, and the jealous ones called him a hermit detective, or a computer detective, but neither of these is a particularly accurate representation of the truth. Naomi Misora had also tended to think of L as an armchair detective, but in fact, L was quite the opposite, a very active, aggressive individual. [swoon.] While he had absolutely no interest in social connections, he was certainly not the kind of detective to shut himself up in a dark room with the shades drawn and refuse to come out. It is now common knowledge that the three great post war detectives, L, Eraldo Coil and Danuve were all actually the same person. Certainly, anyone reading these notes is almost certain to know...though they may not know that L engaged in a war with the real Eraldo Coil, and the real Danuve, and emerged victorious, claiming their detective codes. The details of this detective war I will save for another occasion, but in addition to those three names, L possessed many other detective codes. I have no idea how many, but there were at least three digits' worth. And quite a number of those were fairly public detectives--just like, as anyone reading these notes must know, he appeared before Kira, calling himself Ryuzaki or Ryuga Hideki. Of course, Naomi Misora had no way of knowing this, but in my opinion, the name L was, for him, just one of many. He never had any direct connection to that identity, he never thought of himself as L--it was just the most famous and most powerful of the many detective codes he used during his life. The name had its uses, but lacked obscurity. L had a real name that nobody knew, and nobody will ever know, but a name which only he knew never defined him. I sometimes wonder if L himself ever knew exactly which name was written in the Death Note, which name it was that killed him. I wonder." (pg. 43-44)

"If we must discuss why L so adamantly refused to reveal himself, we can explain it very simply: doing so was dangerous. Very dangerous. While the world leaders should make efforts to ensure the safety of all the finest minds, not only for detectives, the fact is that the current societal systems do not allow for this, and L believed he had no choice but to protect his mind under his own power. By simple arithmetic, L's ability in 2002 was the equivalent of five ordinary investigative bureaus, and seven intelligence agencies (and by the time he faced off against Kira, those numbers had leapt upward several more notches). This is easy to think of as a reason to respect and admire someone, but let me say this as clearly as possible: that much ability in one human is extremely dangerous. Modern danger management techniques rely heavily on defusing risk, but his very existence was the exact opposite. In other words, if someone was planning to commit a crime, they would greatly increase their chances of getting away with it by simply killing L before they began. That was why L hid his identity. Not because he was shy, or because he never left the house. To ensure his own safety. For a detective of L's ability, self-preservation and the preservation of world peace were one and the same, and it would not be correct to describe his actions as cowardly or self-centered." (pg. 69 nice)

"So whenever L was working, he would usually have someone else as his public face--and in this particular case, the FBI agent Naomi Misora was filling that role." (pg. 70)

"Beyond Birthday had the eyes of a shinigami congenitally. It was not particularly difficult for him to track down people with the initials B.B. or find people who were fated to die on a certain day at a certain time." (pg. 94)

"Normally contact with a shinigami was a prerequisite for acquisition, but Beyond Birthday had traded nothing--he had seen through those eyes since before he could remember. He knew your name before you said it. He knew the time of death of every person he met." (pg. 94)

"You might think [the eyes] would hardly be useful without a Death Note, but that is simply not the case. The ability to see someone's remaining life is the ability to see death. Death, death, death. Beyond Birthday lived his life unceasingly reminded that all humans would eventually die. From the time he was born he knew the day his father would be attacked by a thug and die, knew the day his mother would die in a train crash. He had these eyes before he was born, which is why he called himself Beyond Birthday. Which is why a child as strange as he was taken in by our home, sweet home--Wammy's House. He was B. The second child in Wammy's House." (pg. 94-95)

"The competition between L and B. L and B's puzzle. 'If L's a genius, then B's an extreme genius. If L's a freak, then B's an extreme freak. Now it's time to get ready. There are things I must do before B can surpass L. Henh henh henh henh.' This thought was the only thing that made him laugh without needing to think about it. And those that know will recognize the laugh of the shinigami. Still grinning to himself, he faced the mirror, brushed his hair, and began applying his makeup. The reflection of himself in the mirror. Himself. As always, he could not see his own time of death. No more than he could see the death of the world." (pg. 96)

"We were raised at Wammy's House in England, in Winchester, as L's successors, as L's alternatives, but that does not mean we knew anything more about L than anyone else. Including myself, only a few of us ever met L as L, and even I knew nothing about L before he met Watari--Quillish Wammy, the genius inventor who founded Wammy's House. Nobody knows what's going on in L's head. But even so, I know how Watari felt. Looking at L's incredible talents from the perspective of an inventor--of course he wanted to make a copy, of course he wanted to create a backup. Anyone would feel the same. As I have already explained, L never appeared in public. L knew that his own death would increase the crime rate all over the world by a few dozen percentage points. But what if they could copy him? What if they could make a backup? That was us. L's children, gathered from all corners of the world.

"But even for a genius like Watari, creating a fake L was easier said than done. Even for Near and I, who were said to be the closest to L...the more we tried to be like him, the closer we got, the father away he was, like chasing a mirage. So I hardly need to tell you what it was like when Wammy's House was first founded, when he was still experimenting. The first child, A, was unable to handle the pressure of living up to L and took his own life, and the second child, Beyond Birthday, was brilliant and deviant. B stood for Backup.

"But B tried to surpass L, not become him...no, that might not be right. I have no way of knowing the inner workings of his mind. He...their generation was not like the fourth generation, with Near and I, all the children bound only to the code with the serial L. They were prototypes, never even given the L code, expected to fail. I prefer to refrain from idle speculation based on my own experiences, but, well, Beyond Birthday may have thought something like this: As long as there was L, B would never be L. As long as the original existed, the copy was always a copy." (pg. 104-105)

"The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases. L.A.B.B.--L is After Beyond Birthday. This reading is why I think this name is so much closer to the killer's intentions than the Wara Ningyo Murders, or the Los Angeles Serial Locked Room Killings. I wasn't talking about the names on a purely stylistic basis. Whether Beyond Birthday had put that much thought into it I have no idea, but if he had a specific reason for choosing to commit his murders in L.A., then that is probably why. I am sure he had a much more personal obsession with L as an individual than Near or I ever did. I can understand why someone would become a criminal in order to fight against a detective, which is why I can write something like this, but even so. What did he hope to accomplish by killing unrelated people? Or perhaps B simply wanted to meet L. Then he could use the eyes of the shinigami he'd been born with and see L's real name, see when L would die. He would be able to figure out who L was. Beyond Birthday had never told anyone that he had the eyes of a shinigami, and it would not surprise me at all if he believed himself to be some kind of shinigami." (pg. 105-106)

"Beyond Birthday challenged L. And L accepted the challenge. To put it bluntly, the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases were nothing but an internal struggle, a civil war within our home, sweet home-- Wammy's House. Unfortunate for the victims that got mixed up in it, but even if Beyond Birthday had not killed them, all those victims were fated to die that day, at that time, for some other reason, so logically and morally, their deaths were unavoidable. So in the strictest sense of the word, the only one who really got mixed up in their war was Naomi Misora." (pg. 106)

"L was said to never move on a case unless there were more than ten victims or a million dollars at stake. The only exceptions to this were cases at difficulty level L (extremely fitting), or when L had personal reasons compelling him to get involved. The Los Angeles BB Murders were both of these. I hardly need to point out the difficulty by this stage of the story, and L was essentially fighting his own dead copy. [harsh, dude.] The current head of Wammy's House had told Quillish Wammy/Watari, who had told L about B's disappearance in May, and ever since L had been looking for him even as he solved other cases. Wammy's House only knew him as B--they did not know his real name, Beyond Birthday, so this search was near impossible, but L knew who the killer was. He had not been looking for a killer so much as he was looking for a case. L had been waiting, expecting Beyond Birthday to do something to challenge him. L could move any policeman in the world, but in this case, he could not ask anyone for help except Naomi Misora...more than likely, for this reason. I don't think L really put that much stock in honor, but everyone is embarrassed by their own sins, and nobody wants those missteps to become public knowledge. L was the goal of everyone in Wammy's House. Every one of us wanted to surpass him. To step over him. To step on him. M did, N did, and B did. M as a challenger, N as a successor. B as a criminal." (pg. 116-117)

"No matter what she did, she had no way of knowing. That this killer, Beyond Birthday, could tell someone's name and time of death just by looking at their face, that he had been born with the eyes of a shinigami--she had no way of knowing that fake names were useless with him, completely and utterly pointless. How could she have known? Even Beyond Birthday himself could not explain how he had been born with the eyes of the shinigami, how he could use them with no payment, with no arrangement. Neither Misora nor L knew why, and, obviously, neither do I. The closest thing to an explanation I can offer is that there are shinigami stupid enough to drop their notebooks in our world, so there might well be shinigami stupid enough to drop their eyes." (pg. 193-140)

"'So, Naomi Misora...' said L, wrapping up. But Misora hastily stammered, 'Um, er, L...' but then she hesitated, not sure if she should ask this or not. 'You...know the killer, right?' 'Yes, as I said. He is B.' 'I don't mean like that...I mean, he's someone you know personally?' On the 16th, L had said that he had known the killer was B, and she had sort of known ever since, but two days before, L had said something that changed her guess to conviction. Whatever you do, please catch the killer. The century's greatest detective, L, would never say that about some ordinary indiscriminate serial killer. And the way his letter was just one letter long... 'Yes,' the synthetic voice agreed." (pg. 144-145)

"'I have nothing to do with him,' L said. 'To be completely accurate, I do not even know B. He is simply someone I am aware of. But none of this affects my judgement. Certainly, I was interested in this case, and began to investigate it because I knew who the killer was. But that did not alter the way I investigated it, or the manner in which my investigation proceeded. Naomi Misora, I cannot overlook evil. I cannot forgive it. It does not matter if I know the person who commits evil or not. I am only interested in justice.'" (pg. 145)

"My great and respected predecessor, the man whose actions were a strong influence on me personally, B, B.B., Beyond Birthday--obviously, I need hardly explain again that the murders themselves were not his purpose. So what was he doing? Again, I hardly need to explain--he was challenging the man he copied, the century's greatest detective L. A matter of winning or losing. A contest." (pg. 159)

"Since L could solve every case no matter how challenging, if he created a case so difficult that L as unable to solve it, B would have defeated L." (pg. 159)

"He knew that the moment he took action Wammy's House and Watari would alert L, so he did not even bother trying to stop them. He could only guess at which stage of his plan L would start to come after him, so he prepared things carefully, ready for L's entrance at any point." (pg. 159)

"B approached Naomi Misora, calling himself Rue Ryuzaki. Rue Ryuzaki--L.L. For anyone from Wammy's House, there could be no higher goal than identifying yourself with that letter--and Beyond Birthday seized this case as his chance. even Naomi Misora knew what had happened to detectives falsely identifying themselves as L, and B was from Wammy's House, so he knew this better than anyone--so this choice suggests the strength of his decision. He never once intended to survive--had had made up his mind. He was ready." (pg. 160) [trans. note: the name "Rue" in Japanese, ルエ (ru-e), is an anagram of エル (e-ru), which is how L is pronounced.]

"Naturally, his face and fingerprints would burn as well--he had always disguised himself with heavy makeup while he was with Misora, and he never left a picture behind, so even if someone directly affiliated with Wammy's House inspected the body, they would have no idea that Rue Ryuzaki/Beyond Birthday was B from Wammy's House. He had left nothing to connect Beyond Birthday to B." (pg. 162)

"B was presenting the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases to L as a case that could never be solved. That L could never solve. In other words, he had never prepared any clear solution to it--since the killer had committed suicide, disguised as the fourth victim, there was no longer a killer to catch, and no clues left to catch him with." (pg. 163)

"My poor, poor predecessor. Not only was he utterly and completely defeated, but he survived, driving home his embarrassment...he must have longed for death. Accept my condolences, B." (pg. 169-170)

"If I had space left over I had intended to carry right on into the other two stories I heard from L: the story of the detective war between the three greatest detectives, all solving that infamous bio-terror case, with guest appearances by the last of the alphabet, the first X to the first Z from Wammy's House; and the story of how the world's greatest inventor, Quillish Wammy, aka Watari, had first met L, then about eight year's old--the case that gave birth to the century's greatest detective, the Winchester Mad Bombings that occurred just after the third World War. But however objectively I look at things, I do not have the space or the time. Oh well." (pg. 170)

"She had spoken to L only once after the killer was arrested. He thanked her for helping to solve the case, and told her just a little about the background of the case. That B had been a candidate to succeed L, and that the pressure of that had driven him off track." (pg. 171)

"And a few years after his arrest, on January 21st, 2004, serving a life sentence in a California prison, Beyond Birthday died of a mysterious heart attack." (pg. 173)

C-KIRA: (read here)

near grief :pensive: pretty sure this was animated in the anime movie thing?? tbh i still need to watch that. Very interesting as some of the most recent post-main story lore we get about wammy's imo. less quotes now + more summarizing since these are just comics

near has apparently only "talked" to L once (in quotes since he didn't actually say anything, just sat in the back of the room doing a puzzle the entire time. real asf girl)

during this "conversation," roger or one of the orphanage heads set up the usual L screen + a camera/mic so that L could see all the kids and answer their questions.

notably, mello & near didn't ask any questions, just lurked in the back watching L with a "nasty look in [their] eyes," which near assumes is what made him pick them to be his top successors, considering the fact that he didn't actually look at any of their data. (somewhat seems to imply that L didn't actually give a shit about grades or anything like that when picking his main successors?)

while answering questions, near is caught off guard by one of L's answers. to transcribe it all directly here--

NEAR (NARRATING): At the time, I didn't think L would put it so bluntly. L: It's not a sense of justice. L: Figuring out difficult cases is my hobby. If you measured good and evil deeds by current laws, I would be responsible for many crimes. L: The same way you all like to solve mysteries and riddles, or clear video games more quickly... For me too, its simply prolonging something I enjoy doing. L: That's why I only take on cases that pique my interest. It's not justice at all. And if it means being able to clear a case, I don't play fair, I'm a dishonest, cheating human being, who hates losing...

not quite the monster speech, but fascinating all the same. near seems to imply that this answer sent some kids into a despair spiral, but it actually caused him to like L more and more, feeling that he was, "exactly the kind of person who wanted to achieve his own goals." kinda goes against the HTR13 ohba comment? shrug

The Wammy's House/L's One Day: (read here)

honestly i interpret these comics as like. canon crack fic. but anyways, here's the established L lore included in these two.

L was taken into wammy's as a nameless orphan at an unknown but likely quite young age

very soon after arriving he beats up all the other kids he meets--

he is "utterly incompatible," with all the other kids and monopolizes all the things he likes simply cause he's stronger than them and presumably could fight them for it-- naturally, he ends up usually just playing by himself

notably, this all establishes that L isn't the first kid at wammy's, that there was already at least one generation of older kids living there before he got there (and could eventually turn it into an L successor creating machine)

once watari realizes that L has some outstanding mental abilities, he gives him his own private room and a computer. afterwards, L spends most of his time sitting in front of the puter by himself

L requests that watari buy 1 million pounds with Japanese yen and tells him which stocks to buy, causing his assets to reach "almost 20,000 times the original amount," in two years. visually this is depicted as happening when L is still quite young

several years later, L stumbles across a serial murder case in the news, which is the first he solves, starting his new career path

-

L can stay awake for 100+ hours and then gets over it by sleeping for like 17 hours. pictures also may imply that he doesn't actually sleep in a bed, but just lies down sideways in his chair. RIP yotsuba light's perfectly designed sleep schedule

L also shits/pisses in the same position he usually sits in (frog-pose), facing the tank south park style

he is a big fan of cleanliness!! human washing machine etc. etc. honestly i think this is just another way for him to hold that same crouched position

text says he always has, "ten or so identical sets of clothes prepared for him," since he's picky about it, but the art itself shows way more than ten. also rare shirtless L moment?? (watari helps)

L does in fact go outside!! he likes roller coasters/theme parks, swinging, art galleries, live music, etc. though most of the time he just sits in his room thinking thru shit n solving cases.

[ismyteadoneyet]

I took a break from the more serious piece with the throne and all to draw this quicker, silly thing because they have started airing Hallmark movies on TV and I was possessed by the Christmas Spirit :')

There's also a short lil drabble thingy underneath the 'Keep Reading', bcs I couldn't help myself 😭😭 If Tracy won't let her characters have some Silly Time™, I WILL. 😭😭😭

The snowball soars through the air in a high arch, and lands with a wet, satisfying "fwump".

Loud cheers and "woo"s chorus from the other team, and it takes everything in me to hold back my own laughter at the sight. Nick seems to fight just as hard to do the same.

"...Aaand Miss Chen hits the bullseye! Another point for team...what was your name, again?" Valec calls from the sidelines with his, by now, classic announcer-voice, acting judge for today's match.

Classic, because this is the third snowball fight we've had since the snow first fell, and our team has been losing every single one so far. Sel has been too busy dodging the snowballs to realize that he has been our opponents' only target, despite there being three people on our team.

Alice turns to Valec with a wide grin and high-fives William. Lark is doubled over behind them, laughing.

"Team Victory," She reminds him gleefully, and Valec nods with a snap of his fingers. More so to jab another thumb into Sel's side than actually needing the reminder.

Mariah sits at his side, trying to hide her own snicker behind a steaming cup of hot cocoa. She caught onto our pact halfway through the first game, and is now just as eager as the rest of us to see how long it takes the Kingsmage to notice.

"One more point to team Victory! Making the current score.... 5-2, their favor."

Sel tries to wipe the already melting snow off his cheek before it runs down under the collar of his coat. With a wet flick of his gloved hand, he uncovers the scowl underneath.

"What kind of defense are you two supposed to be if you are not defending the whole team?"

"I thought you were behind me, I swear," I say, but can't seem to disguise my lie well enough, because Sel's mouth curves further downwards even before I finish. "You know, behind the shield."

"What's the matter, Kingsmage? Lost yer spark?" Lark taunts from where he now stands straighter, only barely holding it together.

Sel spins around to face the other Merlin with a sneer before shaking more snow out of his hair. "Douglas, you better sleep with one eye open unless you like your dreams of 'White Christmases' very vivid," He growls, and the scheming smirk across his lips makes me certain that the threat of taking the snowball fight off-court and into Larkin's bedroom is a very real one.

He barks out a sarcastic laugh in return, but can't quite seem to keep the amused glint out of his eye, "I sure would like to see ye get 'merry and bright', Kane."

With another flick of Sel's wrist, aether flows to his hands as if he were to craft his usual staff, but instead forms something resembling a lacrosse racket, solid like a shovel. He twirls it in his hand once before bending down to scoop up fresh snow, muttering, more to himself than to the other Merlin;

"Oh, I'll show you 'merry and bright', you-"

"Would you look at that!" William cuts in, making all our heads turn to him.

He looks up at the sky, shielding his eyes from the sun, before taking a step back towards the wall of snow shielding us from Volition.

"Oh, shit!"

Nick understands faster than I do, and casts a new aether shield and grabs my arm in one swift movement. He pulls me along, laughing all the while. "Get down!"

Sel is frozen in place, shovel-racket still mid-scoop, and completely alone on our side of the battlefield. He doesn't bother looking at either of us, but his narrowed eyes and shift in his jaw makes the betrayal apparent.

William reaches out a hand to the wall and shoves it right into the snow. With no visible effort, he lifts up a chunk nearly as big as himself, easily balancing it in one hand. He slowly turns to the Kingsmage with a smirk, promise of perfect aim in his eyes and voice both;

"Midday, is it not?"

[epic-the-musical-confessions]

To the anon who says they don't understand why people are upset regarding race: I can assure you that if anyone in this musical was recast, it would be a completely different situation.

Just look at Odysseus vs Eurylochus. Odysseus does a lot of horrible things in this musical. He's still the fandom's darling. But ever since Thunder Bringer, the fandom has been vitriolically violent in regards to Eurylochus, whose own actions in what we have Epic's canon are nowhere nearly as severe. Odysseus gets praised for what he does, where as Eurylochus was constantly called horrible things, people saying "If I ever met Eurylochus I'd have [insert graphic act of violence here]",. saying things like fans of Eurylochus have mental problems (and that being the lightest thing people have said).

And most of the fandom refused to call out on that behavior.

If Eurylochus was pale skinned, or at least paler, people would be fighting over who was right or wrong. He'd be seen as "uwu he did nothing wrong, you're all just meeeeaaaaan" like Polities. And more.

And then let's look at Zeus and Poseidon vs Antinous. The fandom's reaction to Zeus, a known rapist, and Poseidon, who did[gestures at the musical] ALL of that, are given an entire AU where they have sex with Odysseus, and any references to assault are either brushed off or a joke. Meanwhile Antinous, attempted rapist, isn't given the same treatment as the other two. Despite people claiming his voice is amazing and that they love his actor, he's not shown nearly the same reverence as the singers for Zeus and Poseidon.

Then look at Calypso vs Circe. How many times have you seen "Talya Sindel's voice is great she's amazing no hate to her BUT CIRCE IS THE WORST" type of reactions vs "No hate to Barbara Wangui she's fantastic BUT CALYPSO IS THE WORST" type reactions? If you can point out more than 20 of the Circe ones, then I'll concede on this point, but I've yet to see even 1 single instance of this happening, where as this is just the norm for anyone talking about Calypso and Barbara.

This isn't just unique to the Epic fandom. This is a pattern of behaviors in most fandoms where any Black characters exist. A pattern the Epic fandom (and to some extent, Jay himself, though probably unintentionally) is continuing to perpetuate.

Black people, particularly DARK Black people, always seem to be treated as pariahs in fandom spaces, and have a habit of being cast in more antagonistic roles. (Did y'all forget Ayron wanted to be Tiresias first? That was the original role he wanted. Jay had him audition for Antinous during his callback for Tiresias.)

And you know what happens to the light skinned Black people?

Unless they're made the leading role, they get made into "uwu so soft" types, like Polities currently is. The fandom seems to forget that he took part in the Trojan War too. Polites is a soldier too. Yet the fandom acts as if he never picked up a sword in his life. Your "Greet the World With Open Arms" fave has also killed people. Yet they act as if he stayed on the boat the entire war.

People are upset because there's racist patterns presenting yet again in fandom spaces and in text and they want people to at least acknowledge that they're there.

And trying to brush it off with "well the actors were okay with their casting so it's fine" is belittling and being willingly ignorant to what fans (particularly BLACK fans) are trying to get across.

(And yes, how a creator views certain characters or portrays certain scenes and themes is a contributing factor to how people will perceive certain aspects of the work. But that's a rant for another day)

.

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

when I took a month off work I was lowkey worried I'd come back and find everyone had been fine without me and I wasn't needed at all (because being terrible at every previous job I've had did some ✨damage✨ to my self confidence)

but that is not what happened

I have never encountered someone so fucking happy to see me as my boss' wife was on my first day back, her face lit up like it was christmas, she was practically jumping for joy because now that I'm back she doesn't have to do the ops team's fucking timesheets anymore

I have been told by one of the ops guys that my leave of absence had caused a genuine rift in the boss' marriage because his wife hated doing my job so much they were actively fighting about it

to be clear, his wife is lovely, she doesn't usually throw a shit fit about just anything, it was just that my job is just so fucking annoying that she hated every second of it, and that was the most validating shit I have ever experienced in my LIFE

and the reason she was pissed off at my boss/her husband about it is because he's too soft on his crew and doesn't make them all report their hours for the week

which, as you can imagine, makes building their timesheets extremely fucking difficult

it basically turns the whole process into a puzzle that I have to solve using roughly three different sources of information, one of which is the boss himself who isn't always easy to get ahold of when he's on a site

this puzzle is made even more difficult by the fact that a glitch in our form system keeps messing up the dates on the timecards, so I have to cross reference the time cards from the two (2) ops team members, who actually DO fill out their forms, with the roster, but my boss often changes the roster at the last minute without telling me or noting it down, so then I have to cross reference with the reports they have to submit for certain ongoing jobs because they'll have correct dates and also a list of who was present (if they were doing one off smalltime jobs that week I'll have no physical records and will rely entirely on the boss' memory to confirm dates and staff numbers, unless I can get ahold of one of the ops team members themselves and there's only one who will reliably communicate with me but only when he's not currently on a site)

I tried to explain this process to boss' wife before I left and, looking horrified, she asked me 'is there no way to streamline this?' I replied 'this is streamlined'

as far as I'm aware, as long as I've worked there, there has only been a handful of times people were paid incorrectly, and it was because I was not given correct information by the boss, in the time I was gone, his wife told me that she had incorrectly logged several pays because of this broken ass system

so, as you could imagine, my ego is through the fucking roof right now, I am GOOD at this bullshit job, I took an impossible system and made it work, I am playing on hard mode and killing it, in a field I had zero experience in before taking this job other than a natural inclination for organising and scheduling

and to be clear, I love this job, the boss is too soft on his staff but he's a good guy, he makes us all feel valued and appreciated, he paid me above my award rate, he's absurdly accommodating, and I have an insane amount of freedom to do what I want with company files

I may be working with a bullshit system but I can take naps in the office whenever I want and tell my boss off when he's being too soft (one time his wife literally started clapping when I told him off for sending clients their reports before they'd paid for them) and I get to control when I work, and whether I work from home or the office (which is GREAT when my back flares up)

I might not get many hours (only 16 hours per week) because the company is so small and I run out of things to do because I've streamlined everything (boss literally called me TOO EFFICIENT), but he'll give me those 16 even if I spend half of it playing solitaire and watching youtube

so just, yeah, it feels so good to be confident in my work, to feel valued and appreciated and like I'm actually successful at something after being handed dud jobs for years that I wasn't cut out for, and now knowing that what I'm doing is actually genuinely hard but I've been doing it anyway without fail, makes me feel good!

so tldr; taking a month off work taught me I have phenomenal job security because if my boss ever fires me his wife might actually fucking kill him

[verystrxxwberry]

Hello! I hope you’re doing well! I noticed your requests were open so I was wondering if you could write a headcanon for Eldarya about MC/Erika or whatever you want to call her giving the ANE guys attitude? Like being upset for whatever reason (that doesn’t necessarily involve them) and them having to handle her in some way? Anyways if you don’t feel like it don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re back!

ELDARYA; ANE routes when you’re upset

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: sfw, ANE routes when you are angry/sad/unhappy. ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Hi, I am doing great, thanks for your words and request! I hope you enjoy these headcanons <3 and I am sorry if there is any spelling mistakes...

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

NEVRA

The moment he greets you and you simply ignore him or answer in a not very nice way, he becomes worried and wonders if you had any trouble in your day. If he didn’t do anything to make you upset, he is aware of that and doesn’t tend to overthink. In fact, he goes after you and sits besides you, placing his hand on your back.

He got used to dealing with Karenn being upset while growing up, so he knows how to be patient in these situations.

He stays there with you and caresses your back. “What happened? Your pretty face seems mad.” He talks with a low tone to not stress you even more. And even if you don’t want to talk about it, he stays there unless you ask otherwise.

Once you explain to him what happened, he won’t act unless it’s a very unfair thing. He cares about you and he knows you are strong enough to do things on your own. He can give you advice and cheer you up to act, because come on, babe, go eat them up. In case it is something very unfair, don’t worry, he is gonna be there to eat them up too.

If it was his fault: The moment he realized you wouldn't like one of the things he did, he already started planning how to apologize. He can read your expression pretty well, and he feels bad when you look so drained. Why did he do certain things that he knew you wouldn't like? Ah, that's simply because he wasn't thinking. He was simply impulsive.

Don’t try the silent treatment with him because he is gonna be so needy for your attention at some point that he will cross his arms and sit in your lap -no matter if he crushes you- or lay down his head there and say “are you willing to forgive me?”, “come on, chill a bit and let’s talk”, “I won’t move until that moody face disappears.”

He is capable of pinching your cheeks to bother you, but it can only go two ways… good or bad…

He will not let you go until you feel better.

LANCE

He is genuinely confused and overthinks the situation. Why didn’t you accept his cheek kiss?- He has already done too much bad stuff to allow himself to hurt the one he loves the most in his current life. He’d be like “Uh, what did I do..?” 

If it’s his fault, he is gonna search for the best way to make it up to you, because he has a mask to keep in front of others and being in a tense situation with you makes him not be able to focus on work. At first, he would give you time to be alone and not be so invasive. He probably did a mental speech of what to say to fix it for the last few hours, and when he feels prepared, he kneels in front of you and grabs one of your hands. “Darling, could you please listen to my words for a bit…? I want to be honest…” His voice is softer than usual, you can even feel that the authority and roughness he always speaks with disappears and there is a vulnerable side of him showing at this moment. 

In case you forgive him, you would notice how he leaves a few kisses on your hand as thanks, without saying anything else. In case you do not forgive him.... well, he would leave a timid kiss on your hand and mumble "It's okay, I understand. I'll be patient." Although inside he's truly impatient to know if you forgive him....

He'll never do whatever he did to make you unhappy again.

If it’s someone else’s fault, he is going to talk with the person that made your day worse, or to reassure you with a hug -because he doesn’t know how to comfort too well with his words-. Put him on a leash because if he finds out that someone has done something bad to you, he won't hesitate to have a 'serious conversation' with them. 

LEIFTAN

Being your soulmate, he can feel the anxiety that has formed in you at the moment when what has upset you happens. Even if you are far away, he is already thinking about what he will do when he sees you. Maybe you need your space, or maybe you'd like him to be there to calm you down.

Very patient, he has had to deal with Miiko's and Lance's anger many times -although sometimes they would get on his nerves, but Leiftan knows how to keep some serenity and calm so that things don't escalate to more-. So, he will listen to you and then give you the advice you need.

And don't be afraid, because whether it's his fault or not, Leiftan will never judge or devalue your reasons for feeling bad. Whether it's because of some insecurity of yours, some accumulation of stress or something, he's going to nod his head and let you let it go. You don't have to be ashamed of feeling negative emotions.

If it is his fault, it is most likely a misunderstanding or some minor action of his that has accumulated with the stress you were already carrying. He has no problem apologizing from the bottom of his heart and clearing up anything that was misunderstood. In case it was something external, Leiftan will be able to advise you.

And after speaking to you sincerely, he would lean towards you to kiss your head and caress your shoulder gently. "I encourage you to be more direct with your thoughts and not let them accumulate like this. When you burst out, you can end up hurting yourself and others, and you don't deserve to carry that pain alone by yourself." She would explain in almost a whisper, while pressing little kisses on your head and shoulders.

MATHIEU

He is concerned and a little bit paralyzed, not knowing how to act. He takes a deep breath. He is not used to dealing with his partner being like this. He approaches and hugs you from behind and asks “Have I done something to upset you?”, notoriously worried.

Mathieu genuinely doesn’t know what he did if it was his fault, so you should refresh his memory if it was the case.

And man, a pout appears on his face, feeling guilty of making you upset. "Oh, jeez... Forgive me." And his arms wrap around your waist, hugging you and burying his face in the crook of your neck. The most likely thing that bothered you about him was dealing with all his energy at some bad time, because Mathieu can be intense with his games and pranks. There are times when even if you tell him to stop his prank, he can keep it up, and many times throughout his life he has found himself in the situation of having annoyed someone by his explosive energy of happiness.

To cheer you up, he would leave you alone for a while while he goes to prepare your favorite food. And suddenly, from behind you would be caught by an arm that would drag you to bed. In a matter of seconds you would be wrapped in a blanket that surrounds your whole body except your face, and in your lap a bowl of your favorite food. Mathieu would hold you between his legs, letting you rest your back against his chest and saying. "Even if you are angry, have this delicacy as an offering of your forgiveness, your majesty..." 

He would just stay there, hugging you silently -except if you bring up a topic of conversation- while you enjoy your meal. He will be happy to see you enjoying it, and even more, when you forgive him he will be very excited.

If it were for an external cause, his response would be "Oh, honey, I know the world is an unfair place...but let's try to cheer you up now and we'll figure out how to deal with it later." He's not much of a counselor, but he does know how to distract you from whatever negative situation you find yourself in.

✩; remember to reblog and like to support my content. I hope you enjoyed it!

[askthe-r-m-au]

Yeeeee I'm finally doing this-

Restarting the old R-M fic

(It's on my main account but it's pretty old... so...)

uhh just so yall know as lore gets added onto the AU things might change

Feel free to ask me here or on my blog directly

[ @dayseedrawz2 ]

Ok now onto the Fic!

[The Ring-Misstress | Chapter 1: an alliance]

☆Welcome... to the AMAAAAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS!!! My name is Caine!!! And I'm here to show you the most Jaw-dropping,Heart-stopping, MIND-BENDING parraphinallia you have EVER LAYED YOUR...☆

Blah blah blah... that's all Pomni could hear. She'd been a part of the circus crew for about a week or 2 now?? Maybe more?? Eh, who's counting. Not her! Long enough to know that Caine's daily routine consists of him rambling on about the adventure they'll have that day for at least 5 minutes. So she had plenty of time to dissociate.

Not that she minded Caine's endless rambling. In a way, it was actually kinda comforting, weirdly. Like listening to white noise to fall asleep. She was too busy in her own world to make out completely what he was saying, though. "Blah blah blah, adventure, blah blah blah code, blah blah blah Pomni, blah- Pomni?"

"Pomni??"

☆POMNI!!☆

♧Gah! Huh?? Wha??♧

The Jester was suddenly brought back to reality (unfortunately).

☆You got all of that, right??☆

♧Caine, I don't really care what you have set up for the next adventure-♧

☆My dear, that's the thing!! Today's adventure is unfortunately canceled because SOMBODY just had to EAT AN ENTIRE CHUNK OF CODE...☆

The ringmaster angrily turned towards Bubble.

°○I regret nothing○°

Caine could only groan in frustration before he poked bubble, who disappeared with a "Pop!"

☆... Well then, with that outta the way, I suppose you all enjoy your day off!! I'll be out here if anyone needs me!☆

The crew set off to their rooms, including Pomni. She turned towards the hallway with everyone else, being the last one to her room. But just as she was about to reach for her door, she noticed something...

What looked to be some sort of glitch?? Should she call Caine?? She wasn't sure... but she decided to anyway.

♧Uhh, Caine??♧

No answer. Oh, well. Guess he must've left to prepare the next adventure. That's all he ever does. I mean, he isn't a real person. There's probably not much else he'd want to do.

She took a double-take at the weird thing she'd seen.

♧Wait a second...♧

What at first seemed like just a jumble of 1's and 0's infact, was not. She recognized this... A string of code...

She could read it.

♧"01010101 00100000 01001100 00100000 01000010 00100000 01000010 00100000 01000101"♧

Hesitantly, she reached for the string of code...

Just then, a familiar voice hurriedly approached...

☆My sincerest apologies dear!! It seems my WackyWatchTM must've missed your message!! I hope I'm not too- Huh?☆

Pomni was fidgeting with the numbers. Scrambling them around, trying to make something of them. Eventually, she left them in a certain order. The numbers formed a sphere and slowly dissappear, leaving a familiar transparent ball...

♧Bubble??♧

°○Wow!! That was weird!! I'm gonna go now!!○°

And with that Bubble floated off to who knows where.

Pomni stared down at her hands. In them, few little bits of code, like glitter, slowly faded away.

She looked up from her hands startled to see that Caine had been floating there the entire time. He looked almost- dumbfounded...

☆How... did you do that??☆

Pomni seemed a bit confused at the question.

♧Y-you code things all the time what do you mean??♧

☆Yeah no- how did you do that without a Cane??☆

He gestured to his cane that was floating beside him.

♧I- Well- I dunno I just- sorta reached out and-♧

☆Well dear, I'm quite impressed!! Not only because of that but- I've never seen that sorta thing happen to bubble before...☆

He muttered under his breath.

☆unless...☆

♧Hm?♧

☆Say... Perhaps whenever you aren't busy with adventures, like today, you could help out with bugs and stuff!! How's that sound??☆

He look right into Pomni's eyes, almost pleading, in a way... Pomni thought about the offer for a moment.

What if... there were a code for the exit..?

Maybe... just maybe... helping the ringmaster was her ticket out of here!! To get on his good side!!

♧Uhh, yeah sure.♧

☆Well then, I understand if you d- wait, really?☆

♧I guess so.♧

She couldn't believe it!! He was actually buying it!! "Exit here I c-"

☆Oh Thank you thank you thank you!!! I could really use a hand around here!!☆

He wrapped her in a very uncomfortably tight hug. Nonetheless she manged to force a smile...

♧Heh, n-no problem...♧

YIPPEE IM FINALLY DONE-

This took all day-

Also I'm finally on summer break so imma hopefully have alot more time to write-

Uh anyways uh-

Ask Caine, Pomni an Voz I guess-

(or me about the au/fic in general)

See ya in chapter 2!!

[lemuel-apologist]

Hey, everybody. I am going to keep this post short. (I'm coming back partway through to say that this was, evidently, a lie.)

I said something about it yesterday; I'll say something more in-depth now.

So, a couple years ago, when a round of r4cs0 troll asks reached the exmo blog-sphere of tumblr, I got frustrated and posted something fairly strongly-worded (an understatement). Over the course of the past three years, I have received asks here and on my main blog (and, I believe, my writing blog?) implicating myself over and over in whatever that guy is being accused of this time. It's one thing when it's in my inbox. I can say something dumb to it or, more often, ignore and delete it.

It's another thing when it's sent to other people, which is something I had not considered. Yesterday, someone reached out to me right before I went to ward choir with my brother (they need altos. I need a musical outlet. Don't judge me) to let me know they had received this ask concerning r4cs0 and myself; and I knew the kind of ask he was talking about, but not the content. We talked about it a bit, over the course of yesterday and tomorrow; and, in the interim, my friend Shine (hi, Shine, love you) notified me that her fiance, Serra (hi, Serra, I don't know you) had received the exact same ask on his blog. And I don't know Serra outside of Shine. I still follow her even though Shine doesn't have a Tumblr anymore, but, to my knowledge, Serra doesn't follow this blog? Unless he sneakily did that? What would be the connection there?

Of course, there probably isn't one, unless I am the connection. Speculating doesn't do much of anything. So let's bump some Paramore and work through it, shall we?

I know now, of course, that the ask says the following, where I'm concerned:

Unfortunately an exmo blogger I follow called lemuel-apologist took the bait. And I'm assuming (and really hoping) that she was just joking around to try to troll r4cs0… But she claims that r4cs0 is "right" because she allegedly did organize a "queer jump humping orgy" when she was at BYU in order to protest the "inherent ecclesiastical absolutism of colonized Mormon institutions!" I'll spare you the more gruesome details that she divulged, but I guess the "punchline" of this story was that in order to have multiple groups of people jump humping at once, they needed access to multiple beds. So they broke into a furniture store and held the orgy there, causing it to become a protest of both Mormonism and capitalism at the same time! As you can imagine, r4cs0 and his hateful followers didn't think this was a gotcha at all and instead have been spreading this story around to whip up even more bigotry. They even said they plan to send it in to Libs of Tik Tok!!

I don't blame anyone for taking that at face value. I don't. Tumblr culture is set up in a certain way, and that results in people taking callout asks at face value. I get it.

But, genuinely, I have never acted like that in my life. Like I said, I can't prove something in the negative. It's impossible to provide proof that you didn't do something of this nature, especially when the claims are so vague-- and especially when it's presented to a court of public opinion. And I know that hashing all of this out does nothing but throw words into the air, spur on more asks and encourage whoever is sending them to keep putting my name in there (because it's oh-so funny), and offer everyone else a chance to come to their own conclusions. I can't make this stop. I can't make anyone believe me. I certainly can't make everyone see this post.

To be clear, I never made a claim about r4cs0 being "right" about anything (not pertaining to sex; not in general). I have never once organized an orgy. I'm...

Okay, to be clear, asexuality doesn't preclude someone's participation in or organization of an orgy, including as an act of protest, but I patently didn't do that? I've studied sex (on a genetic level) and sexuality (both the social construction and act of it), sure. I went out of my way to study both of those topics as a part of my degree. I think human sexuality is fascinating. It's also just... not for me. Just writing about sex in a non-clinical way took me ten years to get to, almost.

And that's not something that can clear me from this, I know, but it's necessary context to why I'm so baffled by this. I sent this to my friend Cody and he was just as baffled. If you know me, you know that's not something I would ever do; and you know I didn't go to BYU; and you know I don't say thinks like "the inherent ecclesiastical absolutism of colonized Mormon institutions." Frankly, I went out of my way to lie to my mother and not apply to BYU so I could go to school in Ogden (and if you're from Utah, now you know where I got my CJ/CSI degree, lol. There's only one queer studies program here, to my knowledge). Frankly, "the inherent ecclesiastical absolutism of colonized Mormon institutions" is a bit of a nonsense clause. I don't write like that. Not in my academic work! I would never argue that a Mormon institution could be colonized (lol). For all the nuance of the past discrimination against Mormons in the United States versus the current persecution complex, that is not the way I construct my arguments. I could provide examples from my papers on queer feminism, Marxist feminism, and so on, but I don't think that would be very conducive to the discussion.

I also just... have never broken into a furniture store. I don't think I've ever been into the furniture store by my house. And, like I said, I didn't go to BYU. I only ever marched there for competitions when I was in high school. The last time I was on that campus was to go to the Bean Museum with my meemaw, and the time before that was either for an astronomy thing years ago or a marching competition (or the paleontology museum. Love that thing). I didn't go to BYU. I actively organized a Rainbow Day on my college's campus.

Like, to be clear, that's the kind of action I've always tended toward. When I didn't accidentally get dragged into protests, I like to make exhibits, run events, and do educational outreach. Our Rainbow Day was about the history of Rainbow Day itself, Utah's queer history, and America's queer history. That was what we did. That was my big protest.

Like, I could keep going. I just patently did not do this. I don't give a shit about the other guy, but I did not do this. I wouldn't do something so reckless. I don't judge if other people want to-- more power to you; someone has to do the big, flashy acts of protest-- but I... don't... operate like that.

Listen, this post got long; I got distracted by what I was writing in the other tab; and I have things I need to work on today (and I have to go put on a sweater, because my meds are making my hair stand on end and I'm SO COLD that I can't concentrate). Just... suffice it to say, that's not true. Whatever that ask says about me, it's not true. These asks go around every so often, infuriatingly, and I'm never sure what they're saying until I look up my name or his. I stopped obsessing over my name getting smeared back in 2021/2022, and it was better for me, but... you know.

Anyway, like I said yesterday: if there's something you see that you're concerned about, please let me know. Ask me. My inbox exists for a reason. I care a lot. Not about my public image (lol), but about whether or not people feel they can trust me, especially in the niche I have carved for myself. When things like this get spread around, it affects my credibility-- as an exmormon, as an ex-JW's daughter, as a CJ-hopeful, as an academic, and so on. I want people to feel safe around me, and to not feel like I'd do something that would endanger them. I wouldn't.

That's where I have to leave it for now. I'm just... really sorry about all of this. I don't know what I did wrong this time. I'm trying not to be anxious about it; and so I'm leaving it here.

[heavyhitterheaux]

For the concept thingy-

I trusted you

(I'm feeling like some angst is in order. Oopsies)

One thing that you always told your triplets when they got older was that if they were ever out somewhere and they suddenly felt uncomfortable and wanted to come home that they could call you at any time during the night, no questions asked and you would never mention it again, unless there was a reason for concern.

This had happened with Autumn and her friend Marisa three times so far and every time she called Jack to come and get her because she honestly felt scared. Yes, Marisa was her best friend, but the path that she was going on she couldn't get behind.

Once you had finally told them about your best friend Autumn, who she was named after and what happened to her, she always held it in the back of her mind to speak up when she thought that something wasn't right.

Marisa would tend to drive tipsy at times and the first time Autumn didn't think much of it since there had been an entire group of them and her other friend, Jaxon promptly took the keys and drove all of them home.

However, it was starting to happen more often from what Jaxon had told Autumn. She confronted Marisa about it to see if there was something that she was going through and wanted to talk about, but all she did was get annoyed with her and brush her off.

Now once again, Autumn had called Jack and they were both in the car on the way home sitting in silence until Jack broke it.

“Autumn.”

“Yes, daddy?”

“I don't think I want you hanging around Marisa anymore. She doesn't seem like a very good friend to you from what you told me.”

“But, I've known her since I was five!”

“That doesn't matter. It is completely okay to outgrow people and I think that you two are going in two different directions now.”

“I can't just stop being her friend, she needs me.”

“Or do you need her?” Jack asked as he looked over at her, but all she did was sigh.

“Yes, I love that you know better than to get into a car with someone who is clearly intoxicated, but Autumn, this is now the fourth time and it's clear that Marisa has a problem and needs help.”

“I thought you and mom said that we could call you at any time of the night to come and get us and we would never speak about it again.”

“Unless it has to do with your safety and in this case, it does.”

“It won't happen again, I promise.”

“You don't know that, Autumn. But I'll let you sleep for now and when you wake up, we need to finish talking about this.”

It was now mid afternoon and Jack had just gotten finished telling you what had happened regarding Autumn and you felt a wave of nervousness hit you. The last thing you wanted was for one of your children to be in harm's way and if you could do anything to stop it that you would.

You and Jack were in the kitchen as Autumn came in rubbing her eyes signaling that she just woke up and sat next to both of you after she hugged you both.

“Hi parents, I'm hungry.”

“I'll fix you something in a minute, but we have got to talk about Marisa.” You quietly said as you moved some of her hair out of her face and Autumn's eyes went wide.

“Daddy, you told her!?”

“Of course I did. What did I say this morning? It only stays between us when your safety isn't compromised, but in this situation it is.”

“I trusted you!”

“Autumn Danielle, stop yelling immediately. Me and your mother are concerned for you and the people you've been around lately. They aren't good influences on you, especially Marisa. This stops now.”

“I have it handled, I….”

“Obviously you don't have it handled when you are calling me in the middle of the night to come and get you because she's been drinking and is trying to drive you home.” Jack cut her off and simply looked at her and she sighed.

“I just want to fit in. It seems like she's forgetting about me since she has all these new friends. I don't want to be left behind.” She quietly confessed and you wrapped your arms around her.

“Fitting in with a certain crowd isn't always a good thing, Autumn. Peer pressure is real. So you need to promise us that you'll make better choices. And always know that we're here for you.” You told her as she hugged you back tighter.

“Yes, I promise.”

“We love you and only want the absolute best for you.”

“I know, I love you guys too and I'm sorry.”

“For what?” Jack asked her and she sighed.

“You both just started letting me go out again and I don't want to betray your trust.”

“As long as you make good decisions, it's all we ask for.”